#here's my output from my and miriams 1h1k

[perlukafarinn]

what’s there to talk about, ch 1

an edited version with a brand new though not at all different ending part 1 / part 2 / part 3 (ao3)

Dean has a friend.

It’s weird. Sam can’t remember the last time Dean made friends at a new school. He has girlfriends all the time but that’s not really the same thing.

It’s not like Dean can’t make friends. Sam’s seen him do it plenty of times, easily. People like Dean. It’s always been one of the things Sam envies the most about him (not that he’d ever tell him). But Dean doesn’t like people, at least not other guys, and hasn’t for a couple of years.

So what’s so different about this guy?

From what Sam can tell, he’s a dick. He wears a leather jacket, like Dean, except his isn’t way too big and obviously passed down from his dad. He’s got greasy, shoulder-length hair, and he’s always smoking. His name is Tyler. Everyone named Tyler is a dick, that’s just scientific fact.

He also always calls Sam Sammy, and ruffles his hair when he greets him. Dean does that too, but he’s Sam’s brother. Tyler is just some guy who Dean inexplicably decided was worth hanging out with.

Sam doesn’t get it.

 They’re staying at an apartment this time, not a motel room. Dad’s gonna let them stay until the end of the semester, though he’s not around much, constantly off on hunts.

It’s honestly better when he’s gone, because there’s only one bedroom in this apartment and when he’s here, Sam and Dean both sleep in the living room. At least when he’s gone, Sam gets the living room to himself. Dean takes the bedroom, of course, and whenever Tyler comes over they lock themselves in there. Sam’s not sure what they’re doing, but there’s usually music playing, and they always come out smelling like smoke.

He tries seeing what they do, once, but when he peeks through the keyhole the key is in the way. Then Dean rips the door open, like he somehow knew Sam was outside, and tears him a new one for spying.

“I wasn’t spying,” Sam protests. “Why are you sneaking around? Are you drinking?”

Dean grabs him by the shoulders, and steers him out into the living room. Sam tries to dig his heels, but it’s no use. Dean is way stronger than him.

“Don’t be stupid,” Dean tells him. “We’re not doing anything you need to worry about. Now go do your homework, nerd.”

Sam does go do his homework, but just because it needs doing, not because Dean told him to.

 Sam’s class gets assigned a group project for English. Most of his classmates have been ignoring him since he got here, so he ends up with the other outcasts, two guys named David and Noah. They decide to meet at the library after school.

Dean usually walks him home, even though Sam is thirteen years old and can be trusted to walk down the street by himself, thank you very much. Sam should probably tell him he doesn’t need to today (not that he ever does), but he’s not in the mood. With Sam out of the way, Dean can just hang out with Tyler some more.

So after the last bell of the day has rung, Sam ducks out of a side-entrance before Dean has any chance of spotting and following him. Despite that, he’s only been at the library with David and Noah for twenty minutes when Dean finds him.

“Shoulda known you’d be here.”

Sam turns around, startled. Dean is standing right there, looming over him with his arms crossed, and he looks pissed.

“We had a group project,” Sam says, but he knows it’s a weak excuse. He’s preparing to come up with a better one, when he spots Tyler leaning against a bookshelf a few feet away. “What’s he doing here?”

Dean’s head swivels around. When he turns back to face Sam, his cheeks have turned pink. “Look, just get your ass home before dinner. And let me know where you’re going next time.”

He leaves with Tyler, and Sam is left feeling baffled. He expected Dean to drag him home or give him a lecture or something. Not for Dean to basically fold and let him be. He turns, and David and Noah are both looking at him with strange expression.

“Was that your brother?” Noah asks, and Sam should have known this was coming. If anyone ever cares who he is, it’s only as Dean’s brother. Because Dean is older, and cooler, and much more interesting than dorky Sam. “Is he seriously friends with Tyler Brooks?”

That catches Sam off guard. Who seriously cares about that dick Tyler? “I think so. Why?”

David and Noah exchange looks.

“It’s just…” David says. “There’s some rumors about Tyler.”

“What rumors?” 

“You sure you wanna know?”

Sam huffs, growing impatient. “Just tell me.”

“People think he’s a homo,” Noah blurts.

“Dude,” David says. “You don’t just come out and say it.” He looks back at Sam, apologetic. “But, yeah, people do say that. Someone saw him giving another dude a blowjob in a Gas ‘N Sip bathroom.”

“I heard it was at a Burger King.”

Sam glances between them, shocked. That can’t be why Dean… even if it’s true about Tyler, there’s no way Dean is like that. It just doesn’t fit. Dean likes girls.

“That’s just what people say,” Noah adds. “Maybe your brother hasn’t even heard.”

“Definitely not,” Sam says quickly. He doesn’t care about people spreading rumors about Tyler, but like hell is he gonna let Dean get caught up in that. He doesn’t deserve that, even if he has been a douche lately. “He would never hang out with him if he knew.”

That seems to appease David and Noah, and they get back to working on their project. Sam does his best to help out, but his mind is preoccupied. What if it’s true what they say about Tyler? Does Dean know? And if he does, does he not care or is there something more to it?

Now that it’s been brought up, Sam can’t just let it go. He has to know for sure.

 The next morning, Sam tells Dean he’ll be going to the library again after school.

He waits out back for thirty minutes after school lets out. That gives Dean and Tyler plenty of time to get back to the apartment, if that’s where they’re hanging out today, and then Sam can sneak in without them knowing and find out what they’re always doing by themselves.

Not that he’s expecting anything. Because Dean isn’t like that. But this way he’ll know for sure.

On his way home, Sam starts planning out how he’ll get a look into the bedroom. The keyhole won’t work, but maybe he could slide a mirror under the door or something? He’s seen people do it in movies.

He gets home, opening the door as quietly and carefully as he can, and finds out immediately that he doesn’t need a plan.

Dean and Tyler aren’t in the bedroom. They’re in the living room, on the couch where Dean sleeps when Dad is in town, and they’re kissing.

Sam freezes in the doorway. He didn’t make any noise, so they haven’t noticed him yet. Dean is lying down, Tyler on top of him, and they’ve got their hands all over each other. It’s such a surreal image that Sam can’t even process that it’s happening.

He takes a step back, pushing the door closed with a soft click, and Dean’s eyes immediately fly open. He sits up, pushing Tyler off him, not taking his eyes of Sam.

“What are you doing here?” he says. His face has gone completely pale. Sam hasn’t seen him looking so scared since Dad blew his gasket about a hunt Dean botched up. “You said you’d be at the library.”

Sam opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Dean and Tyler both stand up, Tyler looking between the two of them awkwardly, before saying, “I should go.”

Dean doesn’t protest. Tyler raises a hand towards him, then drops it. He grabs his jacket from the couch and shoulders his way past Sam, out the door. Leaving the two brothers by themselves, Dean staring at the floor and Sam staring at Dean.

“Why are you here?” Dean finally asks, still looking down at the floor instead of at Sam.

Sam swallows. Guilt and regret both twist in his gut, making him feel mildly nauseous. “I just wanted to see what you and- what you were doing.”

“Well.” Dean gives a hollow laugh and throws out his arms. “You saw.”

“Dean-”

“I’m gonna go take a nap,” Dean mutters.

He stalks to the bedroom before Sam can respond, slamming the door behind him.

 Dean doesn’t come out until dinner time. Sam’s been sitting on the couch (not the one Dean and Tyler were on), trying and failing to do his homework. He looks up when Dean opens the bedroom door, but Dean doesn’t look his way.

He stalks into the kitchen, out of view, and Sam gets up to follow him. When he gets there, Dean's rooting through the cabinets, pulling out cans of soup.

“You hungry?” Dean asks, not turning around to face him.

“Yeah,” Sam says quietly.

He sits down at the table, feeling completely at a loss. He still can’t process what he saw. Seeing Dean right now, it’s like looking at a stranger. Sam just wishes he could take the whole past week back. That way, he’d never found out about Tyler and about Dean. It would have been better.

Dean reaches into a cabinet, pulling out a pot, which he puts down on the kitchen counter with a heavy slam. He pauses for a moment, then finally turns around to face Sam.

“You’re not gonna tell Dad, are you?”

“No,” Sam says, because that’s an easy question to answer. He has no idea how to handle this situation, but he at least knows that bringing Dad into it would be a bad idea.

Dean nods, looking relieved. “How about your friends?”

It takes Sam a moment to realize that Dean’s talking about David and Noah. “I’m not gonna tell anyone.”

“Okay.” Dean sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, good.”

“But they know about Tyler. Everyone does.”

Dean leans against the counter, looking very tired all of a sudden.

“You should stop hanging out with him,” Sam suggests carefully. “I mean, otherwise people are gonna talk about you too.”

Dean doesn’t answer. He goes back to making dinner, and Sam knows the conversation is over. They’re not gonna talk about this again.

 Dean seems to take Sam’s advice, since Tyler stops hanging around. The only times Sam sees him after that is briefly in the halls at school, and then they both pretend not to see each other.

Dean gets a girlfriend. Her name is Jennifer. She’s blonde and pretty, and she lasts about a month. After her, there’s Charlotte, and then Katie, and then Tina.

Eventually, Sam convinces himself that Tyler was some aberration. Dean is clearly into girls; he’s way too much of a horndog to be faking it.

Still, he’s relieved when Dad comes back and says they’re moving. Once they’re in another state and Tyler is nothing but a memory they’ll be able to leave this all behind them. Dean can go back to being the person Sam’s always known him to be.