#here is my subpar infodump on herrah thoughts

[actingwithportals]

I have regained the will to live since losing my huge ass post I wrote up about my thoughts on Herrah, so here I am writing out a new one because dammit I love this spider so much and I have THINGS TO SAY ABOUT HER

So to begin, I think Herrah is first and foremost just,,,, the most loving mother. She absolutely adored Hornet and would do anything for her if it was within her power (and honestly she'd still give it a go even if it wasn't). Hornet was someone who meant more to Herrah than anyone, and in her later years much of what she did was motivated by her love for her daughter.

But she wasn't a perfect mother, and I think she knew that. She brought Hornet into the world knowing she was going to leave her someday, far too soon, and she would have known this would only serve to hurt Hornet. But she made the deal anyways, because Herrah could justify that it was for the ultimate good, and that Hornet existing at all was worth the price of future pain she would have to endure. And whether or not Herrah was wrong to do so,,, that's really up to Hornet.

I think Herrah and the Pale King would eventually come to be friends. I don't think the feelings regarding their dalliance were much beyond "this is business and we're both here to get what we want", but between having and raising Hornet, Herrah would probably come to respect PK more, and I think he would feel the same for her. There would always be that sort of teasing nature from Herrah towards him - a need to keep him on his toes a bit because Herrah knew well that she was always playing a dangerous game, attempting to gain equal footing with gods, but it was a game she enjoyed and really he was someone she could grow to care for, as the father of her child and as a respected friend.

Her feelings towards the White Lady were probably similar in that early on things were strictly business but overtime after getting to know each other better they would grow into a genuine friendship and respect. The White Lady was far older and wiser than herself and Herrah would treasure what she could learn from her, and the two probably did find pleasure in time spent together.

But both with WL and PK... there would always be something that Herrah could never truly look past, could never truly just.... pretend away. I don't think PK told the Dreamers at first (except for Monomon), but eventually I think he would clue them in on just what the vessels were, just what Hollow was. And that would strike a nerve with Herrah. Because she's a mother, and Hornet is her world, and the knowledge that PK and WL could take these actions towards their own children.... that would never sit well with Herrah. No matter how close the three would become, how much she would respect them as rulers and allies and even friends,,, she couldn't ever forget that they were killing their children. That they were sending them off to a horrible, eternal fate. And she was playing part in that.

It's an itch that would forever tug at the back of her mind, but ultimately she would look past it. Because she had to make the world safe for Hornet. Everything she had done was all for Hornet. And so she would go down complicit in this crime, just like PK. Just like WL.

As for Herrah as a queen, I think she was well-loved and extremely competent. She led the people of Deepnest well and in earlier days were formidable adversaries against Hallownest. Strength and power were things she held in high regard but they weren't the only things, and those who were weak by typical standards were still considered useful and valuable to the Deepnest society that Herrah hoped to sow. If one couldn't fight then they could weave. If they couldn't weave then they could hunt. If they couldn't hunt then they could care. And if they couldn't care then they could exist and those who did fight or weave or hunted or cared would help cultivate a world where those who could not would be able to exist. But one had to want to survive, one had to be willing to try. Honesty and earnest and determination were things Herrah valued greatly, and that showed in the way she ruled. And I think for the most part, her people respected and admired that of her.

But she wasn't perfect as a queen, either. She was hotheaded and quick to stab before negotiate. She didn't trust easily and her patience wasn't bountiful. She made mistakes and some of those mistakes cost lives that didn't have to be lost. Herrah wasn't born into power, she clawed her way up to it, and so she constantly had to learn along the way. But in spite of her mistakes and her shortcomings, Herrah always tried, and that was something others could respect.

I think she and the old Sire of Deepnest were close. I don't think they were in love, at least not in the traditional sense. I think Herrah loved him and he loved her, but it wasn't quite the same way that PK and WL loved each other, and it took a while for Herrah to realize that (long after he passed on, tbh). He was one of her dearest and most cherished friends, and she would have given him the world (and he to her). Losing him was one of the worst pains Herrah endured, and it would leave a permanent scar, but that didn't mean she Loved him, not like that. But that love was still valuable, still powerful and deep and real, and it wasn't something she would ever forget.

Herrah would have realized the difference in that love once she fell for Vespa. It was unexpected and exciting and for a while a "would they won't they" situation, and that almost added to the thrill, tbh. Herrah fell for Vespa first, in a startling realization of "oh I don't want to stab her I want to win her heart". They would eventually make their feelings known to each other (Herrah made the first move) and from there it would be pretty well known that the two of them were as good as wives. Of course nothing official ever took place, there were too many political hoops to jump through, other world shattering threats to face, the Hive wasn't even one to culturally have much acknowledgement of such unions, so they were married in word alone, and really that suited them well. It wasn't a secret, but it wasn't broadcasted news either, and they liked it that way.

Knowing she would be leaving Vespa behind too was yet another one of Herrah's deepest pains. But she knew she could go to Dream more easily with the knowledge that Vespa would be there to watch over Hornet, and likewise for Hornet to give life and hope to Vespa.

As for Midwife, I think Herrah and her always were and always would be the best of friends. They grew up together - hardly knew a time apart - and both supported each other in their many endeavors in seeking out a life for themselves and discovering who they wanted to be. As queen, Midwife was Herrah's closest and most trusted confidant, and she knew she could always depend on Midwife to be honest with her, even if that honesty hurt. And likewise, Herrah was always ready to offer Midwife the same.

I don't think Herrah had the easiest upbringing, and neither did Midwife. So having always had each other to depend on, even in their darkest moments, there was a bond between them that nothing could really match.

As for personality, I think Herrah is someone who loves fiercely, fights relentlessly, takes no shit but does no harm, fails spectacularly but always rises to try again, and never settles for seconds when she believes she can get what's first. Not just firsts for her, but for anyone who depends on her, whom she is responsible for. And that's part of what made her such a loved queen. I think Herrah is serious and stern and terrifying and fierce, but she's also thoughtful and considerate and fun and tells the worst dad jokes and has a weakness for puns and can't cook or swim wake up early for the life of her, she took years longer than most to learn to weave, math confounds her, and fire makes her skittish in any quantities larger than the candles gifted to her from Vespa.

She's so multi-faceted and I just. I just fucking love Herrah so much and I know that pretty much all of this is my own headcanoning but DAMMIT THAT'S WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR AIN'T IT.

Love Herrah. What a good spooder. 10/10 would live for her.