#here i am with a muke interlude

[burstingsunrise]

interlude

pairing: muke rating: teen words: 36,229 cw: alcohol/drinking

As Michael positions his camera to capture a photo of the venue marquee, it suddenly hits him that Luke isn’t just a name on the sign. His show is tonight. He’s probably here, right now, somewhere in the venue, or at least nearby, maybe hitting up one of the trendy downtown coffee shops or jogging around the lake.

“Michael?”

…or right behind him. His voice sounds the same.

read on ao3 here

this fic brought to you by @calumsash maya’s moodboards!

[clumsyclifford]

2, 6, 11, 13, & 33 pls bella!! ♥️

thank you annie !!! answering these is probably gonna make me late to the acappella concert but i don't care <3

2. What’s a medium you’ve always wanted to try? aghhh i tried my hand at making gifs a while ago (like two years maybe lmao) but they were shitty because (1) i don't use or know how to use photoshop and (2) i don't know anything about gifmaking, so i haven't revisited it. but i would like to learn more about it and try to make actually good ones because when i hear gifmakers talking about shit like "coloring" the gifs im like ?? you do what to them ?? so yeah it would be nice to pull back the curtain on that at least a little

6. What’s a theme you find in your work? i answered this for hazel and i cannot think of another answer at the moment sorry lmao so i'm gonna copy/paste what i wrote for her

friendship! and also, the importance of kitchens! friendship is hugely important to me as a person with a shit ton of friends and also as a person who has never been in a relationship - considering i’m always writing fic that is about a romantic relationship i also always want to emphasize the importance of having people in your life who are not your Love Interest. and how much they can add meaning to your life in ways that are equal to but different than the way a Love Interest can.

11. What part of the process of creating brings you the most joy? answered this for hazel as well but let me think of something else!! OH when i write something that elicits the emotional reaction in myself that i want it to elicit in others. like if i write a line that's supposed to be funny and then every time i read it i laugh, that's a winner. or when i finish writing an emotional scene and then go back to reread it and am like holding my breath........THAT'S how you know.

13. Is there something you’d like to see created but you know you can’t/won’t do yourself? damn you and hazel really overlapped on these questions! i'll just copy/paste my answer for this one bc i don't think i have another:

probably! although to be honest usually it’s the reverse, where i don’t know that i want to see something created until it is, and then i see it and i’m like damn i wish i had done this but also i couldve never done this. it’s a great experience though because then once ive read it i can be like wow that was amazing because i got the same feeling i get when rereading my own work (the feeling of “this is exactly the thing i wanted to read”) but without having to put in all the effort of writing it !! it’s awesome. that is how i feel about @burstingsunrise’s muke fic interlude. i also feel this way about most of @reveriesofawriter’s writing.

33. Sneak peak at a wip 👀 oh gladly i love sharing stuff from my wips okay here's a little taste of what i'm writing for the songfic event hazel is running

“C’mon, tell me,” Michael wheedles. “Is it about Ashton again?” “Isn’t everything?” Luke sighs. “All your recent mental breakdowns have been about Ashton,” says Michael. “It was an educated guess.” “This isn’t a mental breakdown.” “You spontaneously dyed your hair,” Michael says with a shrug. “It’s at least kind of a mental breakdown.”

is it a mental breakdown yes or no vote now on your phones

creatives ask list

[ghost-of-you]

Can you explain SGFG like you did self titled haha

*straightens back* *pull up sleeves* *cracks fingers* i thought you'd never ask skspakoakaoak

We start out strong with a "you're so hot I'd let you rob me" song, don't know what was going on when they wrote this, but sure, then we move on to "i might be crazy and broken but it's alright tho cuz people around me are kinda hot but just kinda tho" then we move to a fuck capitalism song "we can all get some we can all get paid" still waiting for clearer instructions on that one, then we go to "I'm complicated, slightly depressed but I don't give a fuck" and then we have one of the best songs ever written with the amazing "I'm trapped in my own head and I keep making mistakes but I'm trying so fucking hard please tell me you see that" like excuse me *hiding knife in my back" Michael, who hurt you like that? I just wanna talk.

Then we have catch fire, i don't know what Muke was on when they wrote that but i want some of it "now I'm lost in the swirling sea of your sorry eyes" "cause the ghost of survivals guilt can be so unkind" "the words you speak surrounding me this is broken love in the first degree the air you breathe is haunting me maybe I'll change your mind" excuse me???????!??? Then we get "I'm broken and you're broken let's be broken together" the "no more waiting we can save us from falling" gets me every time, then we have a mandatory song about sex but it's so profound and romantic you can forget it is a mandatory song about sex specially with that cool little interlude in the end, then they spin you around with "i love you so much I'll let you use me cuz if I try hard enough I can pretend this isn't just a big lie", then we have an ultimate "how the hell did we get here song" that has stuff like "heartbreak that i can't escape a sinking ship I'll never save" "all your screaming whispers slip right through my fingers but these memories linger on" all hidden by the pop punk moment (castaway should've been a single and. I'll die on this hill).

Then we have the "i wanna believe you but i can't trust you" featuring "it doesn't have to be this tragedy this endless lost parade a castle of facade of make believe" again who let them get away with writing this stuff???? And we move on to "my parents got a divorce and they definitely should have but I miss feeling safe at home" I'm not gonna quote anything here cuz I would just write the whole song, the whole song is beautifully written and just paints the most heartbreaking picture ever, but then they spin you around and throw fly away in your face with the "i really really really really wanna run away let's go like right now" song.

And then they spin you around punch you the face and kick you while your down with invisible, i am positive that "another day the wall are built to keep me save i can't escape is too late" is the most heartbreaking thing I'll ever hear, and they follow that up with the hope anthem, i swear every time i hear airplanes for 3:38 minutes i feel like i can conquer the world, the bridge alone is everything, then we have a little "nostalgia is a powerful thing" with San Francisco that in the end is another "i was awful and I'm so sorry please take me back" song and I eat that up every time, then we have 5sos masterpiece, if os/co song is not in your top 10 5sos songs, you're listening to them wrong, go do it again and pay attention this time, I'm looking at you Ashton Calum Luke and Michael how dare you say this is not an s tier song"i guess I was running from something i was running back to you" amazing, the whole outerspace outro, "the darkest night never felt so bright with you by my side" "nothing like the rain when you're in outerspace" the repetition of the "love me like you did" that gives you hope followed by the "I'll give you anything" that just takes it away and then we have the waves and everything calms down and then bam a whole choir telling you it's gonna get better, honestly ending the album with this was such a power move, incredible.

But then you get the bonus songs, the "I'm bad you're worse but I'm loving every second of this rollercoaster" and yet another entry to the "I'm the worst and I'm so sorry please just take me back" that makes me want to rip my hair out "an epilogue before you're done a sequel to what we began" the chorus?!??? The bridge??????? The whole song actually.

Amazing experience from beginning to end, will make you experience the whole spectrum of human emotions. 10000000/10 album.

[burstingsunrise]

2022 Writing Evaluation

thanks for the tag bella @clumsyclifford​! thinking about writing and stats is weird for me in a lot of ways right now but I thought this might be a nice way to try to reflect on it in a constructive way.

1. number of stories posted on ao3: 21

2. word count posted for this year: 341,517

3. fandoms i wrote for: 5sos

4. pairings: cake, muke (I know what I like)

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: 

Kudos - for real

Comments - this city screams your name (which makes sense because chapters) but then there’s a massive drop to a ton of fics that all have about the same amount.

Bookmarks - new shapes and for real are tied

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): 

hmm. I think probably for real? It’s the longest fic I’ve ever written and one of the few this year that generally came fairly easily for me overall. i really thrive in a world where I can just describe Luke in a way that feels very true to actual Luke but also am scared of canon friends to lovers, so famous aus are a sweet spot.

And I guess maybe interlude too, because I hadn’t really done a “big” muke fic in a long time, and it was challenging, but in an overall rewarding way.

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): 

I guess I don’t often feel good about a fic before I post it these days, but there’s not necessarily one that stands out here as something I’m least proud of. 

I’ve posted a few fics this year that have just been lingering wips I managed to wrap up, and they tend to feel the most incomplete to me, like lowercases and capitals and keep these dreams. I feel like you can tell that I originally wanted more for them and just didn’t have the inspiration to make it happen.

8. share or describe a favorite review you received:

Meg read my muke! And made a meme!

9. a time when writing was really, really hard:

It’s been hard all year. Especially the second half of it, there were multiple times I wasn’t sure I’d ever finish another fic. And I’m still kind of in that space of…I’ll keep trying to write, but I can’t guarantee anything will get done. 

I think some of that is just because after writing for the same fandom for a certain amount of time, it’s kind of hard not to just feel like you’re repeating yourself, which saps inspiration. There’s also so little engagement with fic these days that it’s hard to actually tell if your writing is any good, which makes motivation difficult for people like me who don’t write specifically for engagement but DO have a strong desire to Be Good.

That said, I’ve still managed to post a lot of content, so the way my brain is processing this isn’t necessarily in sync with reality, and that’s something I can try to be aware of and try to reframe when I get in my head about it.

Above paragraph brought to you by meg encouraging me to be positive and celebrate the work I’ve done this year.

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

Maybe comfortable silence Luke. He really turned into something a lot more nuanced than I expected. 

that fic in general became a lot different and more than i expected. it wound up being maybe the most “real” thing i’ve ever written and ever will write.

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing: 

Oh god. um. That would require me to remember what I write. I literally have no idea. There are some scenes that stand out, like the beginning of for real when calum and luke meet for the first time at the coffee shop, and the porch scene in new shapes.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? 

I’m not sure that I did. And I don’t mean that in a bad way necessarily. I just feel like I fell into a groove in 2022 and have not really grown but am also quite comfortable in my groove.

13. how do you hope to grow next year? 

I think to grow as a writer I need to work on my perspective in terms of what counts as “success,” what are reasonable expectations to have for myself, and learning how to be better about dealing with the times I don’t feel inspired. Figuring out how to do that in a more constructive way mentally.

And, in answering the next question, I thought of another thing - I tend to assume people don’t want to hear about my writing unless they ask directly. So I stew in things a lot. I get stuck, I get frustrated, and I feel like no one cares, so I just don’t talk about it. But when I do manage to talk about it with the right people (see below), it’s always helpful. so maybe trying to get out of my own head more and be more proactively open about my writing.

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)?

Meg @kaleidoscopeminds​. It’s meg. In so many ways. Not just in terms of supporting and encouraging my writing and helping me through sticky spots, but also being my audience. Like even if no one else reads a fic, I know meg will, and that makes it worth posting.

Aria @calumthoodshands​ has also been a key influence here by being an idea machine, always prepared with suggestions. Not to mention the moodboard she made for comfortable silence before it was finished, which ended up inspiring several scenes in the fic.

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? 

there’s at least one fic that’s very specific to personal experiences in many ways, but I think generally the way real life sneaks into my fics is through little details. Things that have happened to me, things that have happened to someone I know, or just things that I talked about with someone. Like in the spirit is the direct result of a “real” conversation with meg, even if nothing in it is remotely real.

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? 

I think last year I talked about writing something even if it means writing out of order or jumping between docs. And I still think that’s good advice for a lot of writers.

Beyond that though…this year has been all about learning to create in an environment where it doesn’t feel like the content is really being consumed. Finding ways to be okay with sending a fic out into the world and not really knowing how it’s received. Which is something I’m still working on.

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? 

This is going to sound more negative than it is - but not really, no! I have a couple WIPs that I might at some point get inspired to finish - including podcast cake! But I have no big ideas for new fics, and I don’t have anything I’m currently working on that I feel enough strong inspiration about that I’m confident I’ll finish. 

But you never know when something will hit, and there’s something nice about the sense of possibility there.

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: 

@ashtcnirwin @calumthoodshands @daydadahlias​ @crossedwiress​