#herctxt

[streetwisehercules]

how do I make fic exist without having to write it to my overly picky specifications

[streetwisehercules]

NOT a ghost AU

streetwisehercules:

     So

     Inspired by the sexiest haunted hotel thing you sent me I have had an idea

@hereticgods:

     Yeeess

streetwisehercules:

     Ok so

     This is not a ghost au really so keep that in mind as I send you a barrage of texts

     AU where viktor is a minor television celebrity and ghost enthusiast who stars in a television show similar to ghost adventures with Chris/yurio/mila/maybe georgi

     Except instead of trying to start fights with the ghosts (which is pretty much all they do on ghost adventures), viktor gets really into researching them - they go to local libraries and government record houses, talk to locals about Ghost Stories and Town History etc

hereticgods:

     Ok awesome so far

streetwisehercules:

     And then after they've researched they kind of go into the haunted location and set up all their equipment and just sort of chat with the ghost

     It's like the Bob Ross of ghost shows

     Every episode you watch warms your heart because you learn a story of a town, always told with a great deal of care

     (But viktor is also RIDICULOUS on the show - like he absolutely believes in ghosts. He buys every piece of ghost memorabilia EVER. He will detail filming to go see a street tarot reader and ooh and ahh over the reading)

     So chris at one point makes a Joke. It is meant to be light hearted, but viktor is Extra about the things he loves and he LOVES the occult, so.

hereticgods:

     Omg ok

streetwisehercules:

     The joke is: "If you love ghosts so much, why don't you sleep with one?"

hereticgods:

     Gasp

streetwisehercules:

     Now viktor is like "well we can't really film that but i do have a vacation coming up so thanks for the great idea!!"

     (I can't decide if they have got Definite Proof that ghosts exist before - maybe not even on camera, but have they seen like a full bodied ghost? Unsure!)

     So viktor goes to Japan for his vacation and stays at the Haunted Hasetsu Onsen (as it is affectionately known on small online ghost forums)

     Apparently it is Quite Old and some say there is a full bodied ghost lurking around! If viktor is going to sleep with a ghost it shan't be a mere will-o-the-wisp or orb! Only the best!

hereticgods:

     Omg

     Is yuuri a ghost?? Noo

streetwisehercules:

     It is worth noting that all reports of this "ghost" come from foreigners and tourists. No local has corroborated this story, but the few of them who are from Hasetsu and on the ghost forums tend to laugh

     REMEMBER! It's not a ghost au. This is important

     So anyways viktor goes to the onsen and like, he's on vacation but he's a workaholic and so he pretty much starts talking to everyone about the history of Hasetsu and the Onsen, etc.

     Maybe one night while returning from an evening stroll he sees a distant, vague figure dancing in the onsen gardens. It disappears as soon as he gets close

     But the dancing could only be described as OTHERWORLDLY! Viktor is on the right track

     He can't check any records or anything and his interviews are a bit shoddy bc he doesn't speak Japanese btw

hereticgods:

     Oh viktor

streetwisehercules:

     Anyways one night he is up drinking with Minako chatting and he goes to bed late, and in the hallway he sees a figure!!! Skulking gracefully! He seems to stare right through viktor, as if seeing another world!! His eyes are ethereal, glittering in the moonlight!!! His skin gilded in silver!

     He bumps into viktor and mutters "excuse me"!! This is the first time viktor meets the ghost

     He camps out in the hallway CASUALLY at the same time the next night and sees him again! In the same outfit! So obviously a ghost - and besides viktor has never seen a living person with such an elusive magnetic quality to their aura, with such beautiful eyes. Must be a ghost.

     Anyways they actually get to talking and the ghost is very shy! As most ghosts are! Viktor is surprised and delighted to find that he ghost is solid to the touch, and also that when viktor touches his arm he blushes beautiful and viktors face warms as well.

     Viktor only sees him late at night, and he seems very fragile around the edges, almost tired. Probably from keeping up a physical form!

hereticgods:

     Oh my god

     Viktor !!!

streetwisehercules:

     "You seem tired," Viktor says.

"It's worth it to see you, Viktor" the ghost, Yuuri, says.

"Please," Viktor chokes out, face burning, "call me Vitya."

     Anyways viktor sees yuuri dance (ethereal), learns he was taught by minako, and has a conversation with minako in which minako is under the impression that viktor is not an idiot, and viktor is under the impression that yuuri is a ghost.

     Minako gives him a narrow look. "The last time," she says, "that Yuuri's heart was broken, he disappeared for a month. [classic ghost, viktor thinks] So if he gives you his heart, I expect you to take care of it."

Yes, viktor thinks. Yes I would do nothing less. I will hold his heart and keep it close to my chest and they can beat together forever.

     And then eventually they kiss and viktor is OVER THE MOON!!!

     UNTIL

     he realizes that he is fucking falling for a ghost who can never leave the place he died.

hereticgods:

     Oh my god

     Wow

     How could viktor be so dumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     Love the convo with minako

streetwisehercules:

     Anyways eventually viktor stops beating around the bush and is like "I can't take your heart yuuri because I have to leave and you couldn't follow and it would kill me, too."

Yuuri: i could come with you, you know. Maybe not right away, we could do the long distance thing for a bit.

Viktor: OH YUURI, how can you follow me when you're DEAD?

(This would sound like a threat except that viktor is lying on his bed like a fainted Victorian lady wearing an 'ECTOPLASM ROCKS' tshirt)

Yuuri: what the fuck are you talking about

     Yeah I'm realizing in writing this that he is super dumb. That's ok because it's a comedy and not heavy angst

     Anyways they have a talk about what an Idiot Viktor is, and viktor probably bursts into tears and yuuri is like "are you upset you didn't get to sleep with a ghost?" And viktors like "n-no im just so HAPPY!!!!"

     (Yuuri is gone most of the day dancing/idk what else, and he's just shy with guests and foreigners and keeps to his room and the family quarters btw)

     Viktor thought that yuuri wouldn't let him in his room bc it wasn't really his room but a storage closet or something and the gig would be up, but in fact the reason that he didn't is because he has a giant poster of viktor’s show, with viktor shirtless in a fringed black leather vest on his wall

     And then they live happily ever after

hereticgods:

     Omg my god

     Wow

     That's adorable?!!!

     Viktor is really dumb tho

     But it's ok bc yuuri loves him

     I love that yuuri has a giant poster of him

     So why the rumors about the onsen being haunted?

streetwisehercules:

     Well it all started when yuuri came home covered in glow paint from a dance show

     And then it spiraled from there. And like I said he avoids the non-local guests and sometimes he gets so nervous that he just ignores them if they say "hi" or something

     Which then attracted more Ghost Hunters type ppl, who interpret everything as a Sign of Ghost

     In viktors defense they have a LOT of convos that could be taken either way

     Timeline is probably about a month

     Viktor leaves and cries on the plane and wants to call yuuri as soon as he lands but doesn't want to be clingy, but then yuuri texts him like "I know you're probably super busy, but could you text/call me when you land? I miss you." And viktor DIES

hereticgods:

     Awwwwwww

     💗💗

streetwisehercules:

     They flirt with ghost innuendos and send each other lots of good luck charms

     When they move in together their place is full of like....spooky goth/tourist occult things

hereticgods:

     That's adorable

     Yuuri is a big ghost fan too right?

streetwisehercules:

     Yes!

     Viktor takes him along on shoots and yuuri LOVES IT SO MUCH

     they go to dates on ghost tours!

     And hold hands and ooh and ahh when one of them gets a picture of an orb

hereticgods:

     I love it

streetwisehercules:

     I wanna say yuuri is a dancer? And viktor is a huge fan of his as well

     Maybe a hobbyist dancer? Like he taught classes in hasetsu

     And he ends up mostly working on the show with viktor and teaching/taking some classes on the side

     He has a show and he does it to like a song about ghosts and dresses up a bit as a ghost and viktor records it and you can hear him crying in the background

hereticgods:

     Oh my god

     This is really cute

     I feel like you're projecting a little bit

streetwisehercules:

     OK WOW

     Call me out like this!!!!

     As I sit in bed watching lip swatch videos! I thought I was safe! From this kind of attack!!