#her teasing him about the asset thing and him taking it in good humor because he learns from his mistakes

[gra-sonas]

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Was the year time jump because of the pandemic? To sidestep making that too central to the plot, or was that always the plan?

JEANINE MASON: That was always our intention and it was just sort of a saving grace in that way. We also don't acknowledge the pandemic in real-time on our show. There are no masks and that was just so wonderful just to get work in that way and have that time where it was a little more normal. Also, that's just our show — we want you to come to us the way you always do, which is for nineties nostalgia, sexy Cowboys, brilliant scientists, you know? CHRIS HOLLIER: So we wanted to drop our characters in a year later, let them stew in their individual decisions that were made last season. We want everyone to root for our poster couple but we want to honor what happens in real life, which is sometimes you step away from that person, even if you are entwined with them in a very particular way. So we wanted it to be a real enough time and distance so that they could live a little life on their own.

With showrunner Carina Adly MacKenzie departing at the end of season 2, has much changed? Or are you still working with ideas she had in place?'

HOLLIER: It's a little bit of both. There are things that Carina and I built that live all the way through and then once the story got up on its feet, discoveries were made with our new crop of people that we were like, "Oh, we're going to bend it this other way."

Jeanine, how is Liz doing in her new life in L.A. when we pick up this season?

MASON: Well, it's been a year and at this point, her life is actually pretty great. She just hasn't taken a second to acknowledge that. She's doing what she does best, which is just full head in her work and trying to figure out what she could use of her discoveries and her brilliance to save Maria. She has a great job, a really nice place, and an awesome partner at work who is a good time and a real match for her in terms of intellect and ambition. He begins to ask her to recognize that and to maybe give something a chance that she's been reluctant to because of how drawn she is to Roswell and to Max. It's a fun first episode. It's sexy. It's fun to find opportunities for her. She's our hero so she's got a lot on her shoulders and anytime where we can find levity for her is always a real treat for the writers and for me.

And no Crashdown waitress uniform must be nice?

MASON: Honestly, I miss it quite a lot right now. I have a note in my notes with Chris, I'm like, "I gotta tell him we gotta find him more opportunities for it."

Should Liz and Max shippers be worried about them finding their way back to one another after he destroyed her work and didn't follow her to L.A.? Should we resign ourselves to a season apart?

MASON: This season really is about these characters having themselves mirrored to each other. Max and Liz need some growing and ultimately they can't do anything but be orbiting each other. We found so many opportunities to have such a beautiful language around the cosmic element of their connection. They're asking, "Is this our decision, or are we just acting off of a decision that the cosmos made for us?" It was so fun to navigate that. I always have such a good time with Chris Hollier and with Nathan Dean, just finding the little tiny notches, a tiny bit of movement towards where they're going next. I really loved following them. It's my favorite Max and Liz season to date.

HOLLIER: It's not a season apart. I'll tease that they, in an unexpected way, end up in front of each other relatively soon. But it's really about when am I ready? And what does it mean to talk to my ex? When someone makes such a big influence in your life, when do you know it's over and when do you know you should fight again? We tried to give them real grown-up lives.

Steven Krueger (The Originals) also joined the cast as Heath this season. What can you tease about his character?

HOLLIER: He's just an awesome human being. I know him from The Originals and we were like, "If we're going to have to be stuck with people in the desert, who do we want?" You want to be stuck with a handsome and lovely and charming Steven Krueger. So really this was looking at, "Well, what did Liz want and what does it look like when you start to give Liz versions of what she wants?" Heath is somebody that is beyond being just a lovely person, he is smart and wants to advance science and that's appealing to Liz. It becomes, "What does it look like when the man that I hang around with all day is also into the same things that I am?" MASON: I love him. Heath is just such a fun, whip-smart, fantastic character. His humor was so fun. We've been having a good time with kicking the humor up really through season two and in season three, we just took it up another notch. There are some moments that are like, "Is this a drama or is it a sitcom?" Looking back on it, he was such a fun partner to spar with. They're both such intellectual characters and I love that there's a real meeting of the minds. It makes it competitive and sexy. I know a lot of fans are so excited because they know him from The Originals and he's going to be a great addition.

Technically, Mr. Jones is a new character too. Can you tell us anything at all about him?

HOLLIER: I'd say he's a new character — and a fully-fleshed interesting new character. Mr. Jones has an awesome beard. At some point, he might lose that beard. A lot of people are asking me, "Is Jones good or bad?" And what I would argue is that's a perspective based upon who you are in the conversation that you're having with him. He knows a lot about our heroes' story and he knows a lot about home. He'll be able to answer questions for them. This season our heroes will get to learn why they ended up here on earth. One of the things I think that people will love is that they're going to get to see that home planet this year. We asked ourselves a lot about this whole season, "What have we set up for the past two?" We look at these first three seasons almost like a trilogy so a lot of things are going to be paid off.

Has Nathan enjoyed pulling double duty this season? Or is he just exhausted?

MASON: He's exhausted, but he's such a champ. That really is the beginning of this mirroring thing that starts with Max and Jones with him actually getting to look at himself to a degree and those questions that come up. The self-analysis that it provokes in him is really the beginning of what is happening to all of our characters this year; everybody's being confronted with themselves. I loved that the Max/Jones of it was also a real sci-fi element.

Did he really grow that beard or was that not possible if he had to go between the two characters?

MASON: That was a prosthetic beard and our makeup team killed it. He was not accustomed to early mornings, which, of course, all of us babes are. It was a lot of extra time in the chair for him.

Can Jones dupe Liz into thinking he's actually Max since she doesn't know he exists?

MASON: You're totally on to something. It's a real and pressing threat. I mean, she's totally in the dark and he looks like her cosmic lover!

HOLLIER: What I will say is that, Liz — beyond her being number one on the call sheet — is integral to this story in a way that she and none of our characters are going to perceive when they start episode one. We're bringing [the characters] to a new crossroads moment in their lives and they're getting, through Jones, a mirror into their own lives to decide what they're going to become next.

How's Rosa (Amber Midthunder) doing this season?

MASON: By the end of season two, Rosa really makes the decision to start taking care of herself. She really becomes an incredible asset to the Scooby-Doo gang. It's something that Liz is in constant adjustment to. As much as she's the younger sister, she feels very protective of her sister and Liz has had to make adjustments in her trust and faith in Rosa. I loved it because it just felt like a real personal, authentic thing that sisters would go through, but also that Hispanic sisters would go through. I think we sometimes, culturally, have a tendency to baby our women — maybe that's the wrong word — but just to underestimate their physical ability and what they might take on, and sort of 'queen' our women in a way where we treat them tenderly. I hate that. I'm a tough bitch and so is Rosa. So Liz has to confront that and go, "I'm an idiot to underestimate you. You've done nothing but prove me wrong."

What about Maria and her visions?

HOLLIER: This year I think Maria has the most complete arc of any season, as she recognizes things about herself that cause more questions about who she is, who her family is, how she's linked to this story. We dive into it in the present-day and we dive deliciously back in time too.

In the exclusive clip above we see her have a vision of a funeral, can you tease anything about who potentially might be about to die?

HOLLIER: Maria is front and center in driving the first half of the mystery for us. She's burdened with trying to figure out whose death she is seeing. It takes a few episodes to unravel and we use it to ask, is this linked to our supernatural stories or real-world stories that are going on politically? Is it bad luck? Is it herself? There's a whole gambit at play. We joke that we solved a past murder, now we're going to try to stop one.

Can Malex (Michael and Alex) shippers have hope that this might finally be their time?

HOLLIER: What I would say is that I think that Malex fans are really going to dig this journey. We, as writers, put them at the same level of importance as Max and Liz. So we wanted to really honor the next step in what they may or may not be. How did they grow up and how did they have those hard conversations just like Liz and Max are going to have?

Is Isobel going to continue to date women this season?

HOLLIER: Isobel is going to go on a more personal journey. You got to love yourself before you can love someone else. We lean into those possibilities by the end of who she might love. It's not something that is dropped all season — it is something that you'll see. We play some romantic comedy stuff with her character this year and with Maria that I think fans are gonna dig. There's a lot going on in the world and wanted to pump some humor and hope into it.

Will see more of Liz fighting to challenge the perception of the Latinx community?

MASON: I think that just by nature of it being one of such few shows that are led by a Latin woman, it's always going to be, to an extent, a protest or an assertion of the space that I get to fill and that Liz Ortecho gets to fill on network TV. I was really excited to just have Chris as a collaborator. Over our hiatus, before the season started, I was doing a lot of reading. I chronicled the books that play into Liz every season on my Instagram. I was reading some Sonia Sotomayor. Her book is just incredible. I was texting him screenshots of pages of the book with things underlined. Ten episodes deep into season 3, he's like, "Remember that page you sent me?" He's a real dream collaborator. I loved him for that. A pressing struggle for people of color is going through the ranks in these big corporations and then sometimes coming to find out that those corporations are purporting to support marginalized groups but actually aren't following through. So how do you, as someone who's having your success, your dreams become reality, navigate supporting the company and giving so much of your intelligence and your work — that they often legally own, especially with science — to a company that isn't going to be for your people?

Roswell, New Mexico returns Monday at 8 p.m. on The CW.

[shyficwriter]

Temporary Home: Chapter 8

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: Prank war engaged, who will win? Also, Yondu helps you with a little problem, Peter wants to watch another movie, and Rocket finally gets a surprise. Lots of fluff.

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: Slight sadness because I wrote out the whole Rocket seeing a real raccoon scene, then realized it didn't fit with the direction of this chapter, and now I have to save it for a future one. Poo. Also, for my records, this is day 10 of the Guardians living with reader. Also, Also: I love all the little replies you guys leave for me on this fic! This is a sideblog, so I can't reply to them in the notes, but I just want to let you guys know I love and appreciate them so much!!!!

Word Count: 5,561

You woke up a little nervous, Yondu's warning having gotten to you a bit. You couldn't remember the last time you pulled a prank, and now he's told you that you might have accidentally started a war with Kraglin and Peter? Just what you needed. Great.

The first thing you did, aside from seeing that Mantis was still asleep, was check yourself and your bed over to make sure they hadn't left any surprise pranks for you in your sleep. You even checked your reflection in your phone just in case one of them could have managed to draw on your face while you were sleeping, even though you knew that would be ridiculous... or was it?

Okay, so maybe you were more than a little nervous.

It didn't take long for you to scold yourself. Why should you be nervous? This was your home, you had the advantage. You weren't going to hide like some scared child from some pranks. As you got dressed you told yourself that you'd prepare yourself for anything they had coming your way. Shut it down. Nip it in the bud. Besides, what if Yondu was wrong? Maybe they wouldn't even to anything at all.

You'd barely finished that thought when Peter jump-scared you the second you opened your bedroom door, causing you to reflexively punch him in the face.

"Ow! Dude!" he complained, hands up to his nose and checking it for blood. Luckily there wasn't any.

You cover your mouth, both in horror and trying to mask your humor at the belated karmic justice for the door incident. "I- I really want to say sorry... but I suppose you had that coming..." you say, swallowing your laughter and making your way around him to escape into the bathroom.

Well, that confirmed Yondu was right... You should probably start thinking of some ways to either prank back or defend yourself. If they wanted a war, you'd be ready.

***

You fancied toast again for breakfast and that's when Kraglin struck, using your previous night's admission against you. He spidered his fingers over your sides while your back was turned. You didn't even know he had been in the kitchen, but you sure as hell felt the tickly sparks of electricity that jolted through your body and made you drop the knife as you spasmed under his attack with an embarrassing squeal.

He stopped almost as quickly as he started, doubled over and slapping his knee in laughter. "Oh! That's just too good!" he teased.

You look at him with narrowed eyes, noticing Peter standing not too far off, looking pleased. "So that's how it's going to be, huh?" you say, more of a statement that a question.

The guys only ginned in response and you turned back to your toast.

"I see," you say cooly.

War it was.

***

After you ate you thought you'd make a trip to the attic. You knew you might have an asset or two up there that would prove useful. One such being, a big old rubber spider, another being a whoopie cushion.

You pocketed the whoopie cushion for now, but, seeing as you were the only one upstairs at the moment, you took your opportunity to slip into the room Peter and Gamora shared and leave the spider under Peter's blanket. You hadn't been in that room since it became Peter and Gamora's, but you were able to suss out which bed was his easy enough. You had a feeling it was the one that was only half-assed made-up. Also, his jacket was laying on top of it.

You made your way out as quietly as you had entered and made your way downstairs, but not before grabbing a bath towel from the bathroom closet.

Once downstairs, you searched for Gamora, finding her washing up a dish she used for breakfast.

"Hey," you say, "Can I ask you a favor."

Gamora dried the dish, saying, "As a general rule I don't get involved in any mischief Peter gets up to." She knew Peter was wont to get into prank wars and after last night it honestly didn't surprise her that he might have chosen to start one against you out of boredom. Naturally, she just assumed you were coming to her to make him back off.

"Oh, no. It's nothing like that," you clarify, then quieter, "I was hoping I could ask if you would be willing to keep Rocket busy and downstairs for a bit?"

Gamora looked at you with a raised eyebrow. How unexpected. Why would you need that?

You realized this would go better if you told her the reason. "Here, I'll show you something," you say, inviting her to follow you out to the shed.

Once inside you revealed to her what you had been working on, but she only looked at you in confusion, probably because the bed frame hadn't been assembled yet. You had planned to wrap the pieces in the towel for transport and assemble the frame in the room, and you told Gamora as such.

"I made Rocket a bed frame. You know, since he keeps complaining about the crib," you say, not wanting to sound too much like you cared.

Gamora now added surprise to the confusion on her face, "But why do you need me to keep him busy?" If this was a peace offering, like she assumed it was, then why would you not just tell Rocket about it? She knew that he would surely be grateful to get out of that crib he was always complaining about.

"So I can get these pieces upstairs and put the frame together in his room," you say, stacking the pieces onto the towel.

Understanding came over Gamora's face. "Oh. You want to surprise him." She sounded a bit surprised, which was understandable considering how you and Rocket clearly didn't get along.

You paused, giving her an apprehensive look. "Not exactly."

She tilted her head slightly, an eyebrow raised.

"I'm just going to put it together... and uh... leave it."

Gamora stared you down for a bit before a slight smirk formed on her lips. "You do realize he'll likely ask where it came from, right?"

You make a face and return to rolling the bed pieces in the towel. "Not my problem. So will you keep him busy?" You finish and turn to look at her. "Please? It shouldn't take long, I just need maybe ten minutes, fifteen tops."

Gamora smiled and shook her head, beginning to wonder if Peter might actually be right that you were a bit shy. "Sure, I'll see what I can do," Gamora said with a smile.

Together you walk back towards the house, and you reach the door just in time to see it open as Rocket and Kraglin walked outside.

You freeze for just a second. This wasn't part of the plan, but maybe you could work with it. Outside was even better than just downstairs, right?

"What you got there?" Rocket asked suspiciously.

Kraglin also looked suspiciously at the bundle in your arms, although for a different reason, wondering if it could possibly be something used for a revenge prank.

You kept your face calm and collected, and simply said, "Nothing." with a shrug as you went to walk through the door, exchanging a brief look with Gamora, signaling that she should make sure he stayed outside until you could finish. She seemed to understand.

Rocket and Kraglin also shared a look, and next thing you knew Kraglin was following after and offering to help you carry the bundle and Gamora was making up something she wanted to discuss with Rocket to keep him outside.

"I don't need any help," you say nonchalantly as Kraglin shut the door behind the two of you.

"I bet. Wouldn't want me ruining any revenge pranks... would ya?" he smirked.

You look at him unamused. "This isn't anything like that. Go mind your own business." You start to turn to leave the kitchen and Kraglin takes the opportunity with your arms being occupied to wiggle a finger in your ribs.

You jerk, nearly drop your bundle, and glare at him, hissing, "Don't you dare!"

Kraglin chuckled and folded his arms. "Then why don't you show me what ya got wrapped up in that-there bundle?"

You roll your eyes. "You're such a child." you scold, before nodding toward the door and telling him to follow you if he wants to know so bad. You could have opened the bundle on the table, but you needed to be quick. You couldn't dilly-dally with showing him there and now.

You led your unwanted sidekick up the stairs and to the room Rocket slept in and knelt to lay the bundle on the floor to unwrap it. You turn back to him and say, "It's a bed frame- and we didn't have this conversation."

"Ya made the rat a bed?" Kraglin said, with just as much surprise as Gamora had when she was told. He ignored the oddity of you instructing him to forget the conversation, for now. "Thought ya two hated each other?"

You break his gaze. "I got bored. Don't read too much into it," you say, starting to fit the frame pieces to the headboard. "I just have to put the pieces together real quick, and now that you seen what it is, you can leave me alone to get it done, 'kay? Good." You were grateful you had done a test fit and all the screw-holes were now pre-drilled as you quickly spun them into place with the screwdriver you pulled from your pocket.

Kraglin didn't leave. He just stared at you putting the pieces together for a bit. Those bed pieces didn't look like they were thrown together last minute in a fit of boredom- it all actually looked decently made. He had a feeling that this must have been what you'd been running off to do in that shed over the past few days. "Ya know, I'm startin' to think ya don't actually dislike us as much as you let on."

You paused to give him a look briefly before turning back to work. "That would be reading too much into it," you say, attaching the frame to the footboard.

A chuckle could be heard in Kraglin's voice as he said, "Whatever ya say, ma'am."

You ignore him, turning the last twist on the final screw and placing the bed slats to hold the mattress. You stood with the intent to transfer the crib mattress over when you paused to look around. There was the double bed, where you assumed Drax slept, and the crib, where you knew Rocket slept. Where did Groot sleep if there was only two beds?

You turn to Kraglin, who for some reason still hadn't left you be yet, and asked him. "There was only two beds in here, where does the little one sleep?"

Kraglin shrugged. "I dunno. I think he just curls up with one of the others 'cause he's so little.

You nod thoughtfully. Your intent had been to transfer the mattress and put the crib back away in the attic to get it out of the way, but now you reconsidered. Might as well give the kid the option to his own bed... but that would require another mattress...

"I'll be back." You tell Kraglin, briskly walking past him towards your own room. If you remembered correctly, there was a spare in the attic. An old one that never got thrown out due to mostly laziness and forgetfulness. You retrieved it, knowing exactly which corner you'd find it in, and while you were there, decided to grab a small folded blanket and a sheet for good measure.

You rolled all this tightly together for the trip down the stairs and returned to a confused Kraglin. You threw everything on the frame, the mattress expanding back to life once you released it. You quickly fitted the sheet and shook the blanket open, floating it over the bed. You then retrieved the towel and your screwdriver from the floor, looked to Kraglin and said. "Done." and began to walk towards the door, shooing Kraglin on your way out. You hadn't thought to look for another pillow while you were in the attic, but the raccoon could survive without one for now. After all, there hadn't been one in the crib so he wouldn't be missing much. Not that you super cared or anything.

Kraglin kept looking at you strangely. "So, ya gonna go tell him now?" he asked, walking backwards for a bit while you made your way towards the end of the hall.

"Nope," you say, ditching the towel in the bathroom and then heading for the stairs. You were going to go find Gamora so she'd know she no longer needed to keep Rocket distracted.

"Is it a surprise?" he asked.

"Nope."

Kraglin followed you down the stairs. "Then why aren't ya-"

You stop on the stairs and look at him sharply. "You ask too many questions. Don't make it a bigger deal than it is, 'kay?"

Kraglin frowned, but stopped bothering you as you made your way downstairs. You ditched him in the hall and made your way to the back door. You open it just long enough to catch Gamora's eye and signal to her that her services were no longer needed. You close the door back up and turn around, jumping out of your skin to find that you had indeed, not ditched Kraglin in the hall.

"The hell, man!"

Kraglin laughed, apparently delighted with startling you, and excused himself around you to head outside.

You frown at his retreating form and decided it'd be better to not hover around the door yourself, thinking you might give the house a good dusting to occupy yourself.

***

After cleaning the house and a quick lunch you decided your garden could use a good tending, so you grabbed your earbuds and made your way to the back door.

You weren't exactly sure what made you look up, probably Yondu's warning about that the guys might boobytrap your doorways with water buckets, but when you looked up you spotted the biggest spider resting right above the doorframe and you froze.

You weren't scared or anything... spiders, at least giant ass ones like the one above the door, just tended to freak you out a little... Ok, maybe more than a little. The irony wasn't lost on you either that you had just hidden a rubber spider in Peter's bed that morning.

Yondu, who you hadn't spotted at the table when you walked in as you were preoccupied with finding a song title, saw you freeze and tilted his head. He then saw you take a hesitant step back from the door and decided to ask, "Whatcha doing?"

You startled at the unexpected voice and turned to him. Slightly blushing you said, "Um, nothing. Just-uh, thought I'd go tend the garden." You considered going to use the front door instead but worried it might look a bit odd.

Yondu took a sip from his water and set his glass down. "Ya know, pretty sure you'll get outside quicker if ya walk towards the door. Not sure how far you'll get backin' away from it."

You blushed a bit harder. "Yeah- uh right." Your eyes flitted back to the spider and you visibly jumped a step back as it scurried quickly about 20cm up the wall.

"What was that?" Yondu asked, "What ya look so nervous for?" He started to stand from the table. Was there something outside? Was there someone outside? If so, why not say it?

You could feel the blush creep down your neck and you let out a nervous chuckle. "Um- it's nothing. Really." You couldn't help but glance back at the spider, and regretted it.

Yondu followed your gaze as he walked over and chuckled, relieved it was only a creepy crawly and not that they had all been discovered. He wasn't in the mood to fight a bunch of assholes today. He was, however, always in the mood to tease. "Ya scared of that little thing?"

"No! I- uh.. just wasn't expecting... it."

Putting his hands on his hips, Yondu grinned and shook his head. "My mistake then. Wouldn't wanna keep you from your garden." He clapped you on the back and looked at you expectantly, a hint of humor in his eyes as he nodded towards the door.

"Yeah..." you say, however you hesitated, looking up at the spider.

After a moment Yondu speaks up, laughter in his voice. "Can't do it, can ya?"

You give him a sharp look. "I can!"

"Alright then. Enjoy the fresh air. It's behind that door in case ya forgot." The mirth in his eyes told you he was enjoying this.

You look back up to the spider. You could do this. You start to take a step closer to the door when suddenly Yondu cries out, "Watch out! I think it jumped!" while mimicking a running spider with his hand over the top of your head, making you jump right out of your skin and smack at his hand (which you totally knew wasn't the spider...) with a shrill squeak.

Yondu starts laughing at your reaction and you cover your face in embarrassment. When his laughter dies down you give him a mournful look.

"Jackass." you mutter, arms crossed over your chest and face red from embarrassment.

Yondu rolls his eyes, mirth still present on his face, and he whistles.

It happened so quick you weren't sure you had really seen it.

A whistle. A flash of red. The sound of something cracking into the plaster. Another whistle. He caught an object in his hand; the arrow you'd see strapped to his leg all the time for no discernible reason. He wiped the tip against the rubbish bin before placing it back in its holster.

You blinked. "What the hell was that?" Did he just- move that arrow... with his mind?? Or was it with that metal mohawk thing? It had streaks of red light glowing through it for a moment there.

Yondu just grinned. "Took care of yer little problem so ya could stop yer scared fidgeting and get out the door," he said with a laugh, not really answering your question.

You blushed again but before you could protest he looked to where the spider had been and winced. "Hmm. Might have overestimated the toughness of yer wall there though..."

You follow his gaze to see that his arrow had left a small crack and a chip in the old plaster where he had killed the spider. You turn back to him. "I think that could be forgiven, if you can agree there's no reason to mention it again..."

Mirth crinkled his eyes as he got the hint. You didn't want to advertise that you were scared of the 'creepy crawly.' Was almost cute if he was honest. Reminded him of Peter when the boy was younger. "I'll take that as a 'thank you,'" he said with a cheeky wink as he walked out of the kitchen and left you to your business.

You mumbled out a, "Hmm... yeah," and rubbed the back of your head as you made your way out the door.

***

Later that day Peter came to you and asked if you wanted to join the others to watch another movie. He had found another movie from when he was a kid, The Princess Bride, and he was excited to watch it.

You curbed your suspicion that he might be setting up for a prank and agreed to watch the movie, having nothing else to do.

You walked into the sitting room while Peter walked off to find the others and found Mantis already in there waiting, sitting on the floor in front of the sofa with Groot. Gamora and Yondu were also waiting, but they hadn't sat down yet, instead they were standing by the TV looking at the DVD case and discussing how they hadn't expected Peter to be into this type of movie, clearly assuming it was a fairytale love story rather than the comedy that it also was. Looking about and seeing that Kraglin and Peter didn't seem to be coming back yet, you thought this might be a decent time to break out that whoopee cushion.

You pull it out of your pocket and with a quick breath blew it up, garnering the attention of Gamora and Yondu, who gave you funny looks. You quickly stuff the whoopee cushion under the sofa cushion furthest left and take a seat next to Mantis on the floor, furthest to the right. You look up to them nonchalantly, your expression saying, 'What? I didn't see anything. Didn't do anything either.'

A faint smirk played over Yondu's lips but neither of them said anything. Gamora, because she wasn't going to involve herself, and Yondu, because he ain't a narc. Mantis and Groot, however, gave you confused looks, but you just put your fingers to you lips in a 'shush' gesture and Mantis's eyes lit up, correctly assuming you were playing a practical joke, and she loved practical jokes.

Soon after the rest filed in. You were asked by Peter why you were on the floor when there was room on the couch, and you flippantly answered, "Didn't feel like being pestered like last time," giving him a pointed look.

He almost looked guilty but then just waved you off and sat next to Gamora. More room on the couch then. No skin off his nose.

Like last time, Yondu and Drax took the armchairs, and Rocket settled in on the other side of Mantis. Kraglin was the last to sit and you bit your tongue to keep a straight face and look uninterested as you side-eyed to watch him sit.

It went off just as you expected. A loud fart noise as he sat on the far end of the couch, earning loud laughter from Drax, Rocket, and Peter. Mantis and Groot giggled adorably while Yondu snickered and Gamora only reacted in mild surprise, likely having not realized what the object you placed below the cushion would do.

Kraglin tried to deny it, but Peter only laughed harder and said, "Yeah right! The hole you just ripped in the couch says otherwise!"

Drax then spoke through his laughter that you weren't going to be happy that Kraglin damaged the couch, only for Peter to tell him that it was just an expression.

You start to shake your head at Kraglin, give him an unimpressed look to sell your innocence, when you were startled by the blue tint to his face.

"Uh..." you say, moving to a kneeling position, "Are you alright?"

"Hah. Very funny." Kraglin said, looking annoyed and standing and pulling the whoopee cushion from beneath the sofa cushion. "Ya really think I don't know what these are? Pete had like a million of these."

"No, really. You're starting to turn blue, are you having any trouble breathing or anything?" you ask. He was acting fine, but you knew turning blue couldn't be good.

Peter, seeing you were genuinely concerned, decided to fill you in. "Oh, don't worry about him. He's just embarrassed he still fell for that." He laughed and punched a grumpy looking Kraglin in the arm.

You raised an eyebrow.

Peter clarified, "His blood is blue, not red like ours. He's fine."

"Alright then..." you say, hesitantly sitting back down. You hear Kraglin state he's keeping the whoopee cushion and you roll your eyes at him as Peter finally started the movie.

You hadn't seen this one in a long time, and you honestly barely remembered anything aside from a few funny quotes and the fact that you knew you had enjoyed it. The last thing you expected was for the movie to make you feel things.

You were doing pretty good until the man in black and Princess Buttercup began to talk about her lost love, and you kept it together until the line, "Death cannot stop true love, it can only delay it awhile."

Then you got up to leave the room.

"Want us to pause it for you?" asked Peter.

"Nope," came your answer.

No one thought anything of it, until they heard you go upstairs and you didn't return.

After about 15 minutes Yondu got the sense you weren't coming back, and he briefly wondered why before his sleepy eyes closed, falling asleep during this movie as well.

He had been waiting up the past few nights to try and catch you sneaking out at night, but each night he never heard or saw you leave, because you didn't. Needless to say this made him a little sleepy, but at least with no crew to manage or ship to run he was free to take naps, even if Peter did tease him that he was getting old for falling asleep through the movie.

Rocket, however, was cursing himself. And you. He had just been about to slip out when you beat him to it. He wasn't enjoying the movie that much, and he had realized that this might be the first chance in three days to sneak up to the attic when everyone was occupied, and you just had to go and ruin it by flaking out on the movie partway through. Rude.

They finished the movie without you and you mostly stayed in your room the rest of the night aside for a bit when you came down to grab something quick for a late supper.

You were in the kitchen having just finished the sandwich you had made when Peter came in for a snack.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hey," you say back, pulling down a small glass for some juice.

"Saw you didn't come back to the movie earlier."

"Yeah?" You didn't meet his gaze as he opened a packet of that space food and sat down. "Seen it."

Peter nearly chuckled, "Well, yeah. I'd think so, it was yours."

You shrug. "Just didn't feel like finishing it."

"Hmmm..." came Peter's response. His tone annoyed you, like he was about to suggest there was an ulterior reason for you skipping out on the movie without a word. Just because he would have been right didn't mean you liked it.

You walk to the fridge to pour some juice and have the thought that you might spruce it up with a splash of vodka, which you kept in the freezer. You pull the bottle and gesture it to Peter, asking if he'd like some. He shook his head and you just poured some into your own glass and went to return the bottle to the freezer. When you did you spotted a small forgotten bag of ice you must have purchased awhile back. It was open, and you got an idea. Sneaking one of the chunks you hid it in your hand and closed the freezer.

You leaned against the counter and sipped your, now alcoholic, juice.

"Nice one with the whoopee cushion today. Good to see you have a sense of humor." Peter smiled.

You shrug. You kept the hand with the ice folded across your body and tucked under the elbow of the arm holding your juice, trying to keep it natural looking.

"If you want, maybe you and I could call a truce, and combine our efforts against Kraglin."

You smirk behind your glass. Either this was a trap, or he wasn't very loyal to his friend. You placed your bets on the former. "I think you're just afraid I might accidentally punch you in the face again if you keep it up."

Peter rubbed the back of his head and laughed, "Well, there may be that... but I do think if we combined our efforts..."

He didn't get to finish that sentence. You had downed the last bit of your juice and started to walk his way while he talked. As you passed behind him you quickly dropped the chunk of ice down the back of his shirt and then even more quickly scurried away as he seized up and gasped from the cold.

You snickered as you heard him squeak, "Ah! Cold! Cold!" on your way out and only spared a glance back at the door to see him abandon contorting his arms behind him to try and grab the offending ice in favor of resorting to hopping out of the chair and doing a funny little dance to shake the ice out.

Once he was free of the ice he caught your gaze and an evil grin passed over his lips as he bend down to grab the ice from the floor.

Your eyes widened and you fled up the stairs, hearing him call out, "Get back here!"

You made it to your room just in time to shut the door and flick the lock before he could have his revenge. You could hear laughter in his voice as he said, "And to think I offered a truce!"

"You didn't mean it!" you called back through the door.

Peter laughed and said, "Well I definitely don't mean it now!" You were right. He hadn't meant it. He was going to try and convince you to pull a prank on Kraglin that they would then turn back on you, but clearly you weren't going to fall for that. He heard you laugh at his statement and shook his head before walking back down the stairs.

At least he had made you laugh.

***

After an hour you decided it was probably safe to leave your room to shower for bed. Also, Mantis was knocking at the door and you had to let her in anyway.

You had just finished your shower and were heading back to your room when a high shriek could be heard from Peter and Gamora's room. The others peeked out from their respective bedrooms to see what the commotion was. Rocket came up the stairs saying, "Thought I heard Quill screaming like a girl, what happened?"

On cue the door to Peter and Gamora's room opened and out came Peter holding the rubber spider by one leg.

The two of you lock eyes across the landing. Your eyes widen slightly and you flatten your lips.

"Any idea how this ended up in my bed?" he asked, looking pointedly at you and waving the toy back and forth.

Shaking your head, you say, "Nope. No idea."

Peter narrowed his eyes but smirked. "Oh really?"

You began walking toward the safety of your room. "Not a clue. Total mystery. Night."

You could hear snickers behind you as open the door, and hear Peter shout after you, "I'm keeping this!" as you shut your bedroom door behind you.

***

Rocket had a surprise waiting for him when he decided to go to bed that night, having walked into the bedroom with little Groot asleep on his shoulder.

He looked at the new bed in confusion. He wanted to ask Drax where it came from, but the big guy was already asleep, and he knew better than to wake him if he didn't want accidentally punched in Drax's startled waking.

He hopped up to the crib and laid Groot down to sleep before inspecting the new bed, sniffing it and checking under the sheets. He didn't really know what he was looking for, but looking couldn't hurt.

Eventually, when he could find nothing wrong with it, he decided to settle in. Better than sleeping in a crib. He could ask where it came from in the morning.

***

The house was dark and quiet, and Yondu was considering giving up on trying to catch you sneaking out again, at least for tonight. After all, you hadn't in several days, what's the chance you would tonight? Might as well sleep.

Then he heard it. The tiniest creak of a door. Then barely audible steps down the stairs.

He stood from his bed as quietly as he could, and made his way over to the door he had left cracked in hopes of being better able to hear when you'd leave.

He peered out, but only just saw the top of your head dip below the floor as you descended.

He waited a moment, wanting to give a little space so as to not risk you hearing him follow. Opening the bedroom door slowly, he made his way out into the hall and to the stairs. He could see in the dark better than a Terran, but still moved carefully as he quietly made his way down the steps.

He stopped less than halfway down, having barely caught sight of you sitting on the hall bench to pull your boots on, and there he waited, out of sight in the dark, until you stood and grabbed a jacket.

He made his way quickly and quietly down the rest of the stairs and just caught you as you were opening the back door.

He stood in the kitchen doorway, arms crossed over his chest with a triumphant grin at having finally caught you before you could leave. He tilted his chin up and asked;

"So where ya sneaking off to?"

[bruiscdlikeviolets]

ex’s best friend. | Wally West x F!Reader

loosely based on “my ex’s best friend” by machine gun kelly. xo 

this is my first Tumblr imagine, please be kind <3, I hope you enjoy, feedback much appreciated, also let me know if you’re interested in a part two? 

Masterlist | part two 

w.c: 1.3k

It’s been months since Artemis and Wally came to an amicable end to their relationship. Both agreed that it was time for something new and that the spark died. Wally accepted it, and moved out from their shared apartment into Dick’s new, lavish apartment with him and Barbara. Though Wally often felt like a third wheel, especially now that almost everyone had found their better halves and he was single. Sure, he went on dates, and had those random hook ups that all kids in college had; but he never found himself someone else. Artemis had moved on, with Will — which to Wally was wild, but he never questioned it. As long as she was happy, that’s all he could ask for. Him and Artemis were still partnering in the field, best friends in and out. Their relationship seemed stronger without the mix ups of actually being in a relationship and feeling like they had to be careful about criticism. Which is why he was now getting ready for Artemis’s birthday party; she decided it was going to have a night out, Wally wasn’t against the idea. Maybe he’ll find someone.

At half past 10, Wally was at the club Artemis was hosting at. It wasn’t a rented-out kind of thing, it wasn’t anything beyond a couple of her friends, the team—the ones that were legal to drink and be there, Will and himself. He walked in, the sound of the music reverberating through his ears, his eyes glided across the club and made his way to where his party was seated; stopping to get a drink and continuing his way. “Wally!” Artemis yelled over the music, getting up and pulling him into a hug and giving him a kiss on the cheek, “I was starting to think you weren’t going to show!” She grinned and he returned it.

“You know me, fashionably late.” He gloated, a teasing smile on his lips and took a seat next to Dick, who he was actually shocked to see. As he sat, his eyes landed on Artemis’s best friend seated to her left. Wally and her were acquainted, but tonight she looked especially good tonight. (Y/C/H) fell lazily across her shoulder, and the black dress adorn her body accented all of her best assets. Wally blushed at the thought as her eyes met his from across the table; her face tinted slight red as she turned her attention to her drink and took a sip. “Dude,” Dick interjected, “you’re drooling.”

“I am not … okay maybe I am but I can’t help it.” Wally conceded, taking a sip of his own drink.

“Isn’t she Artemis’s best friend?” He asked, and Wally nodded.

“That’s what makes it complicated.” But complicated never stopped Wally, it always excited him.

It was well into the night, and though Wally couldn’t get drunk; he was able to concoct a mixture that he would drop into his drink to get mildly buzzed. He decided it was time to stop, and enjoy the night. It was about 2AM when Artemis decided it was cake time, everyone fell back into the booth. Wally took his chance to sit next to (Y/N). “Hey Wally!” She greeted, a dopey smile splayed across her face and he couldn’t help but return. “Hey (Y/N)!” He grinned, lazily resting his arm on the back of the seat behind the girl.

As the party continued, Wally and (Y/N) found themselves sitting and talking and catching up. Wally found himself growing tired of being out and was growing hungry. He glanced over at (Y/N), she seemed uncomfortable. “Hey, you wanna go get some pizza?” Wally yelled over the music; the girl’s body instantly relaxed and she nodded her head, already grabbing her things.

“God yes! I’m so tired of being here, I’m not much of a party person.” Wally grinned, and grabbed the girl’s hand and began to lead them out of the club.

(Y/N) had known Wally for a while, she had only known Wally as Artemis’s boyfriend and then her ex. She never really knew him, but she couldn’t deny that maybe she had a minor crush on the red head. He was sweet to Artemis, and he was always so kind to her when they would interact. He had a great sense of humor, plus he was easy on the eyes no doubt. Plus, he was Kid Flash but that was just icing on the cake. Sure, all of those thoughts’ broke girl code, but (Y/N) couldn’t really help it and here she was, sitting in an all-night pizza joint, watching Wally wolf down three large pizzas with various toppings and laughing at his lame — but adorable, jokes.

“So, you just left Dick there?” (Y/N) asked, laughing at the story of when Wally publicly humiliated Dick in front of his now girlfriend Barbara. “You are a terrible best friend, Wally West.” (Y/N) declared, taking a bite of her own pizza slice. “Maybe so, but he hasn’t touched my cheese whizzies since.” Wally laughed, nodding his head. “This also led to an all-out prank war between all of us; and it’s still on going.” “I helped Artemis plan some of hers, trust me; I know all about it. You are quite the little prankster Wally, I envy you.” (Y/N) had a knack for being reckless, and a knack for pranking. It was only natural for Artemis, and sometimes even Dick, to come to her. (Y/N) wasn’t a stranger to the double lives of every person she was with tonight, mostly finding all of them out on her own. Secrets weren’t unfamiliar to her, neither was lying and keeping those secrets.

“I could tell, some of those pranks were far too advanced for her to pull off on her own.” He laughed, thinking about how she lined his suit with paintballs that would obviously burst due to the small amount of friction from the suit when he was running, he was washing paint off of his skin for weeks.

“Game notice game,” Wally complimented, gesturing between him and her; (Y/N) blushed faintly, a smile playing on her lips. Wally stared at the girl for a little bit, taking in the way her dress contrasted her skin, and how her (Y/E/C) shined with mischief as she recounted the many pranks she assisted with. In the dull light of the pizza place, she looked absolutely breath taking. Realizing he had been staring for a bit too long, Wally diverted his eyes; a small blush creeping across his face. (Y/N) let out a soft yawn, trying to stifle it; she wasn’t really ready for the night to end, unsure if she and Wally would have a moment like this again, and god she didn’t want to let it end because she was tired. He’s your best friends ex, this is complicated.

“Are you tired?” Wally asked, attention back on her. (Y/N) shook her head.

“No. Well yes, but I’m really not ready for the night to end.” She conceded, biting her lip softly. “Do you, uh …” Wally rubbed the back on his neck, unsure of how to ask. “Do you maybe want to come back to my place for the night?” He asked, “that way we can hang out for a little bit, and then tomorrow morning, I can cook you some of my world-famous Wally Pancakes.” (Y/N) snorted a little bit, her smile evident.

“World famous? That’s a little self absorbed, don’t you think West?” She teased. “Well babe, be the judge of that?” He asked, hopefully. “Rock my world, West.” She agreed.

With a smile, Wally left some money on the table and led (Y/N) out of the pizza shop to his apartment. He wasn’t sure what he just got himself into, but that was a problem for future Wally.

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

Correspondence, Chapter 02

Pairing: HotchReid

Summary:  An AU where Reid never joined the FBI, but got roped into consulting for the LA field office while working and teaching at Caltech. Hotch gets his email referred from a fellow agent, and they start to work on cases together -- until they start talking on a regular basis. Regular becomes frequent, frequent becomes constant. They know nothing about each other, but they don't really mind.

Rating: Mature/Explicit (eventually)

Chapter CW/notes: Vague mentions of PTSD, spoilers for the Foyet storyline/mentioned character death. Little angsty, maybe a little OOC since Reid and Hotch don’t actually have a boss/subordinate work relationship in this story and I’m adapting that whole-heartedly. But other than that, it’s just grown men acting like dorks and Reid attempting to give parenting advice. Set in season 6, self beta’d.

Word Count: 4535

Masterpost Link

Ao3 Link 

--

Chapter 02

--

May 2010

-

Hotch does, indeed, take Dr. Reid up on his offer.

They work on a few more cases together, over the course of six to eight weeks, and each time Dr. Reid proves to be an invaluable asset. His knowledge is unsurpassed, extensive, and astounds Hotch every time he opens a correspondence email from the esteemed professor. 

Have you ever thought about being an FBI agent? He teases one night, when they’d been sending theories back and forth in emails that had become less and less formal. Dr. Reid still sent dissertation-length assessments of the cases when they landed in his niche (which was often), but their replies had turned to a messaging template instead of the business-like format Hotch is used to writing all day every day. Quick, rapid-fire messages replacing the professional grade layout that felt so impersonal, with titles and headers and enough filler to give him chronic headaches.

This was much better. Informal as it was.

I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t pass the physical exams, but thanks for the compliment. Another life, maybe. Dr. Reid answers, and Hotch finds himself smiling and huffing a laugh behind closed lips, the kind that stays caught up in his chest. He’s not sure how much older the professor is, for all he knew he could be bordering on retirement, but it was an amusing thought nonetheless.

 I would get them waved, or curve the scores. I have that kind of pull around here. Never would he speak with his agents or anyone at the Quantico office like this, and it had taken weeks and dozens of emails to get to this point. But the freedom of it was nice, enchanting, like a little taste of his life outside of the office. Just confined to the response box of his email. Despite what everyone (ie: Morgan, Prentiss, Garcia) said about him, he did have a sense of humor. He just also had a sense of propriety, and he was their boss. He wasn’t going to make light with them in the place where they catch murderers.

Don’t tempt me. I have tenure. But Virginia gets so cold, I’d freeze to death half the year. 

Didn’t you attend MIT? What did you do during winter?

Froze to death. Pay attention.

Hotch outright laughs, and then snaps his mouth shut and looks out the open blinds of his office. Everyone has gone home, for the most part, but he doesn’t need JJ or someone else hearing him and coming to check on him. He hasn’t been getting much work done since Dr. Reid started replying to his emails that evening, and the little half smirk on his face is something he doesn’t think he can school as he rereads their conversation over and over. 

Apologies. Next I’m sure you’ll tell me how you had to walk to class uphill both ways in the snow.

No, I took the bus. And Froze. To. Death. I live in sweaters, and I’m from Las Vegas, I’m not meant for the cold. 

Las Vegas? Really?

Born and raised. My mother still lives there. 

Hotch’s eyebrows raise at that, apparently he’s not so old that his mother is still around. His own parents are gone, have been for years, but that’s under different circumstances and really not a situation he likes to reflect on.

Must be nice, only being a few hours from home. Do you go back often?

As little as possible. I should really visit my mother more, but that’s hard for reasons I won’t get into. I do write her, though. A letter every day, although not much happens around here for her to get invested in.

As in a real letter? Not an email, or a phone call?

She doesn’t do well with phone calls, or computers. Letters are more personal, anyway, and she likes being able to have the paper in her hands in my own handwriting. It’s the least I can do, not going home unless I absolutely have to. 

This is the most the man has ever spoken about himself, in a personal manner instead of an academic one, and Hotch isn’t quite sure how to take the evolution. It feels like a shift in their dynamic, an opening that could lead to a deeper level of friendship and -- it’s been a while since he’s had that. Allowed himself to have that. After Foyet, and even before when Haley started pushing for divorce and Hotch responded by isolating himself as much as he could to keep his work unaffected, he’d had trust issues. Hotch is man enough to admit that. 

But speaking with an old professor on the other side of the country might just be the stepping stone he needs. Who knows, maybe they’d even get the chance to meet one day.

I just grimaced at my own triteness. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to give you such a maudlin review of my life story.

No, that’s okay. I don’t talk much about myself, so I wasn’t sure how to respond. Work and home are kept very separate for me. It’s an unhealthy coping mechanism, I know, but it works as best as it can.

In your line of work, I can only imagine. You do what you have to. 

Hotch pauses in their conversation, looks at the clock and the stack of paperwork he still hasn’t finished -- too busy lost in his talk with Dr. Reid -- and feels an itching in the back of his mind he wants so desperately to scratch at. To give into. Lists of things he knows he should talk about, but doesn’t trust anyone enough to do so. Hotch really isn’t sure he can even trust Dr. Reid with them.

At least, not yet.

Thank you. And thank you for entertaining me, as well. 

Anytime.

--

It’s not a month later that Hotch is sitting at his desk, after hours, once again. Head in his hands and his phone still warm, overworked from the hour-long phone call he’d just endured with his ex-sister-in-law, Jessica. 

Jack was being bullied in school. She’d had to attend the parent-teacher conference about it instead of him, because he’d been on a case in Florida for over two weeks. Which really just highlighted to Jack’s teacher what his home life is like and she expressed her worry. Adamantly. Jessica was in agreement, and she once again wanted to have the conversation on if Hotch returning to work at the BAU had been the right choice after Haley was killed. He’d taken his sabbatical for 30 days, passed his psych evals -- which didn’t mean much, he helped write the qualification questions -- and Jack was doing well with his therapist and in school.

Or so he’d thought. Until today. 

That ‘conversation’ turned into an argument, because Hotch gets defensive when someone questions his choices in regards to his family, and as much as he knows that she is right -- he feels awful about how it devolved. Jessica has gone above and beyond in taking care of Jack, to allow Hotch to return to work, and she is the last person that deserves the brunt of his frustration. He only has himself to blame, and he doesn’t know what to do. Who to turn to. Who might have answers for him, if there even was a correct answer for his situation. 

The Foyet case is classified. His assigned therapist is so easily played he hasn’t returned to her in months. 

Hotch just wants someone who won’t see through him, even when he pushes back.

He wants to talk to someone who he doesn’t want to push back against.

Who he trusts.

Dr. Reid, I need help with something no one seems to have an answer for, but it’s of a personal matter and not a professional one. Would you mind lending me your services?

Hotch sends the email before he can take it back. It’s late in Virginia, but Dr. Reid is four hours behind him in California and there’s a high chance he might still be in his office. He seems to keep longer hours, for an old professor. 

He won’t admit it to himself, but he feels a tightness in his chest as he awaits an answer. All the paperwork from the Florida case is completed, there’s nothing keeping him there at the office any longer. But it’s too late to go pick up Jack from Jessica’s, and he doesn’t think he would be welcome to come sleep on her couch like he often does on nights like this. When he wants to be there when Jack wakes up, and tonight he longs to do just that. But he isn’t sure he can even look Jessica in the eye right now.

So he sits there, and watches his computer screen, and feels himself distance from the ache in his bones. Knowing if Dr. Reid doesn’t answer him, he would have to spend however long it would take to compartmentalize his apprehension, once again, and go home to his empty house and not think about how he is failing in raising his son. In being a good father. 

The soft ping of his inbox is his single solace in the storm of his thoughts.

Agent Hotchner, You know I’m always happy to help, in any way -- personal or professional -- if I can. What is it you need an answer to?

That tightness releases, but it also gives way to the worry building up in his chest. An overwhelming, crushing amount of it that he didn’t realize was climbing higher and higher the longer he’d been left alone with his thoughts. Drowning in trepidation. Everything he doesn’t want to have pressing on his mind when they are hunting down serial killers, working with criminals that would see it as a weakness and exploit it without batting an eye. 

But this time, Hotch knows this is becoming something he shouldn’t try to hide away. 

Child psychology. Trauma, in particular, and the effects on children after the fact. 

It’s enough to describe what he needs answered, without telling too much of what happened. It’s still hard for Hotch to think about what happened, to fully realize what they had gone through. What had happened to Haley, what had happened to him. What Jack will have to grow up knowing nearly happened to him. What he almost witnessed.

(626)-595-0387 I have unlimited texting, and tend to stay up very late at night. Also, I have a feeling that you might want to keep this off government regulated emails. I’m not a practicing psychiatrist, mind you, but anything I can do to help you I will be more than happy to offer. 

Hotch is stunned. Whatever he expected, that wasn’t it. He’s near speechless, staring at the phone number with a Pasadena area code, and hesitates in moving their correspondence off of the email platform. A drastic change in dynamic and expectations, but… it would be nice, to be able to message the professor whenever he wanted. The ease of access an alluring thought. 

Another soft ping in his inbox has him looking up from where he’d been glancing at his cell phone in contemplation.

Also, it goes without saying, but everything we talk about in our conversations would still be confidential. I have no one to tell them to, anyway. 

Hotch huffs out a sound that could have been a laugh, and he’s surprised he even can manage that. But he’s barely thinking about it before he’s picking up his cell phone and typing in the number Dr. Reid had given him. []6/3, 22:46[] This is Agent Hotchner.

He sends it, pauses in thought, then keeps typing.

[]6/3, 22:47[] You can call me Hotch, since this is outside work. Agent Hotchner just reminds me I’m abusing bureau resources for personal gain.

The whole interaction is causing this clawing, hot feeling in his chest that might be nervousness in risking the change in their work relationship, or residual guilt from the fight with Jessica about Jack, or just… the fear that Dr. Reid will tell him he is fucking this up and he should never have returned to the FBI at all. Because there are days, like today, where Hotch really starts to think that might be the case.

[]6/3, 22:49[] I figured as much. No one else actually messages me after 6pm except you and some of my more zealous students. 

[]6/3, 22:51[] And although I don’t think you’re abusing anything; in that same vein, you can call me Spencer. This is just two friends having a chat, nothing more. 

Hotch appreciates the gesture, finds himself almost smiling about it -- but then he remembers what he has to relay to ask what he wants to ask the other man. And he isn’t sure where to begin. 

So he just -- begins at the start. The case where Foyet fooled his whole team, posing as a victim, and managing to get away. Slipped through their fingers. Gotten away with murder and insider FBI information and more than he should have ever been able to access. Dr. Reid -- Spencer, please -- doesn’t say anything as he relates all of this, and Hotch commends his patience. Because from the start, this isn’t about child psychology at all. But it is certainly about trauma, and that becomes apparent when Hotch throws caution to the wind and describes what happened to him in his own apartment. Paraphrasing and dropping out intimate details, but explaining what happened is still brutal even stripped to its bare minimum. When Foyet had broken in, and blitzed him, and tortured him as he stabbed him nine times in the chest. Precise, practiced, indicative of letting him live with the knowledge of what that monster masquerading as a man could do. 

The details begin to bleed through the more he types. The more he remembers.

How he’d had to put his ex-wife and son into protective custody. How it hadn’t been enough. His late night obsessions all for naught. And finally, a brief -- or as brief as it can possibly be, for as brutal an event as it was -- summary of what happened when Foyet had found his family. How he had killed Haley, how they had stopped Foyet and Jack had been spared witnessing anything. Even the fight inside Hotch’s own house. He doesn’t… well, Hotch doesn’t plan on describing that and keeps it at bay. He barely remembers it. Blurs of fists and broken furniture and rooms he has memorized from years of memories flying by as they tore through his home like a hurricane. 

But he gives enough of a picture. Enough that, though he doesn’t say as much, Spencer probably knows Foyet didn’t make it out alive. Can guess it was by Hotch’s own hands. 

Which leads them to now -- to the part Hotch needed help with more than anything. His past and his trauma Hotch has a lot of practice dealing with, knows how to handle it alone. As he always has. But the part he doesn’t know how to handle?

He is raising his son on his own. His ex-sister-in-law, Jessica, has been a godsend and is helping with Jack so Hotch can be at work. His lifeblood. His identity. Everything he’s ever worked for. He almost left; Strauss had offered him an early retirement package that was too good to pass up, but he had in the end. Because being an FBI agent, catching the monsters that plague their world, that is what he does. And that’s what Jack knows him to do. 

It helps Jack, Hotch found, to know that his dad is out there catching men like the one that took away his mom. He probably would have taken the loss a lot worse, if Aaron had left the bureau. 

But he’s messing up. Hotch feels that in his bones. He’s gone so much, Jessica is taking on the role of parent instead of Aunt more and more, and Hotch does not want to turn into that father that shows up once in a blue moon and pretends he never left. He’s worried that what Jack’s teacher, and Jessica, had said is true and Jack’s home life isn’t going to be healthy for him. It’s going to make him suffer.

That what Jack has gone through, Hotch doesn’t know how to address correctly. 

It’s near a half hour later that he’s gotten the entire story out, and Hotch realizes that even though text is probably going to be easier to have a conversation like this… he probably could have written it in an email and saved them both some time. He apologizes at the error, because it’s late and his head isn’t quite screwed on straight whenever it comes to matters with his son, and he just… he’s at a loss. Doesn’t know what the right course of action is, or if there even is one outside of a professional’s opinion. 

Then Hotch waits for a reply.

It feels like hours, but in reality is only a couple of minutes. 

[]6/3, 23:22[] Hotch, the fact you are so worried about your son and how your actions have affected him through all of this, is all I really need to know about you being a good father. The consideration you are showing him is not something every parent can do, in the face of what happened to you and your family. You do not need to worry about that. You love your son, and that is the most important factor right now.

[]6/3, 23:25[] Secondly, I’m so sorry that this happened to you at all. You and your son sound like you have such a strong bond, and I know that’s what must have helped you through such a difficult time. It’s apparent that you love him very, very much. 

[]6/3, 23:29[] I don’t have a lot of friends that ask me the hard questions like this. Not that I don’t want them to, I just understand why, because I can recite statistics all day and give you textbook answers easily. Which I know you were hoping would give you a black and white response to your question. But in this there isn’t one, sadly. I know you are worried and I feel like you don’t need to be. And I don’t know how to express that in a way that won’t make you detest me. 

[]6/3, 23:32[] Your son just lost his mom, and you just lost your ex-wife, and there’s not going to be a straightforward path to healing. Everything you say you have done for him? It’s perfect, it’s exactly what you should be doing, and don’t stop. That’s all you can do and all you should focus on, in truth. Listen to what he tells you and watch for what he doesn’t, and hug him, because you are a great dad -- and this is coming from someone who did not have such an example. 

[]6/3, 23:33[] And I am very sorry about Haley, Hotch. I truly am. 

Hotch doesn’t even answer him for a good few minutes. It is a lot to process, to read through, and he does read through it more than once. But every single time he reads that final text, his eyes sting hotly and he has to blink back emotions he thought he had waded through plenty on his 30 days of leave. Apparently, not enough.

It’s so much, and yet he wants more. It’s not enough in the sense that he wishes Dr. Reid -- Spencer -- would keep talking to him. Keep telling him he’s doing a good job. That he hasn’t failed his son. 

That for once, he’s handling something right.

With a breath that feels like it shudders through his chest a little more roughly than it should, Hotch slowly types out a response that doesn’t even begin to feel anything close to adequate.

[]6/3, 23:41[] Thank you, Spencer. I could never detest you, in the slightest. Everyone keeps telling me I’m not screwing this up, but 

He pauses, not sure if he even believes what he’s about to type. 

At the last second, he switches tactics entirely. Feels a flood gate open. Just one, solitary floodgate in the vast Hoover Dam size wall he keeps up from the moment he shrugs into his suit jacket at home until he sheds it all away at the end of the night. In the confines of his home, with six physical locks on the door and two different digital security systems. With a weapon carefully concealed and childproofed in every room. With steel reinforced windows and no exit save for the front and back doors. A fire hazard, but a good precaution against anyone who would try to break in -- like Foyet had. 

[]6/3, 23:41[] ...I find it so hard to believe them. In some ways it’s hard to believe you, too, but that’s not personal. Your words have resonated more than anyone else’s, if that’s any consolation. Even more than the therapist they assigned after everything. 

[]6/3, 23:45[] My sister-in-law flat out told me I was failing my son, being away like I am, and his teacher believes his home environment isn’t healthy. He’s being bullied in school. I don’t know what to do.

Hotch types it all out and sends it. 

The reply is instantaneous.

[]6/3, 23:46[] Yes, you do. You know exactly what to do. 

And then there isn’t any further elaboration.

At first, Hotch is confused. He feels himself being pulled from that precipice of self-loathing and despair. Tugged by a string. The confusion forces him to look at Spencer’s response, nine words long, and decipher what they mean. 

Trusting his first instinct, once more.

[]6/3, 23:49[] I have to talk to Jack. 

[]6/3, 23:54[] You have heard all of this from everyone other than your son. He may be young, but he is going to know the answer better than his teacher or his aunt. Talk to him, before you start nailing yourself to a cross. You may find the answer to the situation a much easier fix than you are anticipating.

Hotch considers this, thinking about his son. Six-years-old now, first grade, smart as a tack, curious and kind. But so strong, a foundation that even he found himself clinging to sometimes, in the face of the storm of everything that had happened to them. Which is not healthy, and Hotch learned to not do that to him. To instead find solidarity in their relationship, withstanding the storm together. As they always have. 

[]6/3, 23:57[] He’s not one to let a bully have his way. He knows that’s not right. Maybe he has another strategy.

[]6/4, 00:01[] He’s young enough that trying to befriend his abuser would be a good tactic to counter the situation, does that seem like something he would do?

[]6/4, 00:02[] That sounds exactly like Jack. Hotch replies, with a smile finally easing on to his face -- and it feels lighter now. Easier to hold.

[]6/4, 00:04[] He sounds like a sweet kid.

[]6/4, 00:05[] He is. I’m very proud of him.

[]6/4, 00:07[] You really are a great dad, Hotch. I’m not just saying it to say it. 

That crushing, overwhelming feeling has ebbed to nearly nothing -- and with a sudden rush of vertigo it is replaced with gratitude for the old professor lending him his evening hours. It flashes warm and sudden and Hotch isn’t used to that, either. 

[]6/4, 00:08[] I would never expect you to, but thank you.

Even he feels lame for thanking the man for saying such a thing.

[]6/4, 00:10[] You don’t need to thank me, I barely did anything.

[]6/4, 00:11[] But if you ever need to talk, about anything really, I’d be more than happy to do so. 

[]6/4, 00:13[] I promise I can be good at that. The listening part. Day or night, it really doesn’t matter. I’ll always be around.

Hotch pauses at the offer, and then types slow and hesitant.

[]6/4, 00:16[] What if I just want to check in on a friend?

[]6/4, 00:16[] I am also around for that. 

The answer is sudden, without hesitation, and Hotch feels a smile start to ease the muscles in his face. Soften the edges once more.

[]6/4, 00:18[] I wouldn’t mind someone to talk to after a long day. It’s been a while since I’ve had a…

He pauses again, not quite sure if he remembers how to do this without pressing in too fast. Committing to too much, not sure what he is able to give of himself. But he’s already shared more with Dr. Reid in two months than he has with David in the past two years. 

Hotch makes a decision, for himself, for the first time in a long time.

[]6/4, 00:18[] ...It’s been a while since I’ve had a friend outside of the bureau. 

[]6/4, 00:19[] Do I still count if I’m a consultant?

[]6/4, 00:19[] You absolutely count. 

His own message makes him smile, and there’s a beat between messages where he hopes he made the older man smile as well. 

[]6/4, 00:22[] I’m never short on topics of conversation, I warn you. So unless you want a lecture on quantum physics -- how do you feel about chess?

[]6/4, 00:24[] I’m getting the feeling you’ll wipe the floor with me.

[]6/4, 00:25[] Oh, without a doubt. But the desktop app also has a chat feature.

[]6/4, 00:26[] Look at you, all modern and with the times.

[]6/4, 00:28[] My home phone may be a rotary, but even I can’t scoff at the vast reach of online chess. 

[]6/4, 00:28[] So what say you?

Hotch pauses, one final time, and considers the night; the conversation, Spencer’s advice, the way talking about what had happened helped ease the weight of it more than he’d ever anticipated. Then he thinks of the source, of what started it all, and how -- once again -- Dr. Reid was right about a number of things. But one thing in particular. 

[]6/4, 00:32[] I’m going to take your advice and go to my son. But tomorrow night, after he’s in bed, I have many hours to myself.

[]6/4, 00:35[] By no coincidence whatsoever, my evenings are always free. Care to show off those FBI honed deduction skills? My best chess opponents have ironically been FBI agents.

[]6/4, 00:36[] Oh, I’m terrible. Trust me.

[]6/4, 00:37[] I promise I don’t care. Your company is worth however many short games we can endure. 

Hotch smiles, despite himself, and this time doesn’t try to hold it back.

[]6/4, 00:39[] Then, it’s a date.

-

(tbc...)

-

Tagged list: @spencehotchner @ssa-sarahsunshine @gothamapologist @reidology @marsjareau @dragon-snaps-fandom​ @emmyraebird @just-an-emo-rat​​​ @aaron-hotchner187 @dk18077 @more-heid-pls @fakin-it-til-i-make-it @merpancake

[luvinseokjinnie]

Jeon Jungkook Fic Recs

☾ -ANGST || ❅- SMUT || ✼ -CRACK/HUMOR || ❀ -FLUFF || ♛ - ACTION/SUSPENSE || ♪ - SUPERNATURAL/SCI-FI

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One shots

If I told you ☾❀|| jjk x reader || college au || @gukyi || [personal fav]

Sypnosis: in order to pay for university, jeon jungkook decides to market his most valuable asset to the wealthy socialites of campus: himself. donning a suit and tie, tousled hair, and glasses (to look smarter), he becomes every rich daughter’s dream: the perfect boyfriend to bring to balls, dinners, and business gatherings. all while you watch from the sidelines, only able to dream of having that much money to buy yourself what you really want: him.

Melomaniac ☾❀|| jjk x reader || punk/rockstar au || @jeonscript  ||

Sypnosis: you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because he’s supposed to be your best friend and nothing more. worst part of it all is that you know he’s in love with you too.

What are best friends for? ❀☾|| Jjk x reader|| college au|| @lovelyyyoongi || [personal fav]

Sypnosis: What begins as harmless matchmaking, ends up in a jumbled mess of emotions for both you and your best friend, Jungkook.

Chocolate milk ❀☾|| jjk x reader ||childhood friend au ||  @vantaenims  ||

Sypnosis: You never planned to catch some feelings for Jungkook but you didn’t know that he’s the mastermind of all these fickle thoughts. It’s all thanks to Psychology and Human Behavior.

Unaware ☾ || jjk x reader ||  @kookscrescent  ||

Sypnosis: “He knows the day will never come. She has already got her heart set on somebody else. But deep in his heart, despite all the broken pieces, he knows that she will never find someone that will love her more than he does.”

Crosshairs ☾♛❅|| jjk x reader ||secret agent au|| @junghelioseok ||

Sypnosis: he’s never letting you out of his line of sight again.

Inkling ☾❅|| tatoo artist!jjk x reader || @gguksgalaxy || (vv smutty sgvd im sorry)

Sypnosis: Jungkook is your brother’s boyfriend’s co-worker, they own a tattoo and piercing parlour. In other words, he’s tall, gorgeous, has his passion literally etched into his skin, looks incredibly good in a man-bun, and is semi-unattainable for you. Why? Well…you’re not entirely sure but him ditching right after a very heated make-out session sure isn’t a good sign. His extremely poor mood the next week sure isn’t either, but the only way to fix it is to face the beast head-on. Right?

Icing ❀❅ || jjk x reader || @yolokoo ||

Sypnosis:  Baking with your boyfriend sounds like a good idea until he makes a mess and then gets a boner. You know where it goes from there.  

Year after year (after tear after tear) ☾ || jjk x reader || college au || @ubemango ||

Sypnosis: Taehyung just wants you to have a good birthday.

Something new ❀❅ || jjk x reader || college au || @minlucent ||

sypnosis: jungkook has a thing for virgins. you just happen to be the one he has his eye on.

of memes and mood swings ❀☾✼ || jjk x reader || parents au || @koosgrl  ||

sypnosis: ❝ babies are born weighing 30kg, right? ❞ + turns out that 2017 wasn’t just a meme on twitter, especially a particular number of months made the year more eventful than you’d thought it’d be after your boyfriend promises you that he would pull out. or to make a long fucking story short: the wild ride that is your pregnancy.

chewie & choco boy  ❀☾ || jjk x reader || best friends au || @rookiegukie​ ||

sypnosis: all your life, jeongguk has always been and only been your best friend. no matter the countless misunderstandings and the never ending teasing when it came to the true nature of your relationship, you two remained firm about it—saying that you were really just really good friends and nothing more. though lately, that doesn’t seem to be right anymore, especially as the both of you begin getting confused yourselves.

Loveship  ❀☾ || jjk x reader || sequel to chewie & choco boy || @rookiegukie​ ||

sypnosis: all your life, jeongguk has always been and only been your best friend. though that is until you started dating him and things just can’t be better than it is. but shifting from being just friends and being a couple isn’t as easy as it seems, especially when a certain ex just keeps on reminding you your insecurities about finally being jeongguk’s girlfriend.

Tiger Flower  ☾ || jjk x reader || hanahaki au || @euphoria-vmin7​ ||

sypnosis: tiger flower. it’s his birth flower. it’s the flower that you can’t have.

Lost Stars  ❀☾✼|| jjk x reader || Heavy angst || @staerrylights​ ||

Sypnosis: Your life was made up of failed relationships, an unhappy marriage, and a terrible job but things weren’t always that way. When a meteor shower occurs on the night of your twenty fifth birthday, you get a chance to relive the past ten years of agony and love you thought would last forever, would you hold onto those memories or let them fade into the distance?

Series

Learn to love ☾❀|| jjk!teacher x reader!singleparent || @knjoodles ||

Sypnosis: raising your daughter alone while simultaneously watching your ex-husband live the life of his dreams away from the two of you hurts. badly. it hurts a little less, though, when you find an unlikely friend while looking for help.

You belong with me ☾❀|| jjk x reader || high school au || @joonscroll ||

Sypnosis: you’ve loved jungkook since you could count. he's always seen you as a friend. watching him date other girls and having to pretend you’re not in love with him is killing you.

Bullseye ♛☾❅|| jjk x reader || Bottoms up Series by @gguksgalaxy ||

Sypnosis: A summer weekend isn’t complete without Jungkook coming to seek you out at your job at the beach club to bless you wish his smile. A smile that quickly fades to anger one night, when he catches your ex trying to get your attention.

Louder than Bombs ❅|| vampire!jjk x reader || Map of the soul 7 project by @chimkookie ||  

Sypnosis:  Where humans and mythical beings try to live together in harmony, but different worldly disasters and rivalries cause a stir within both of the races as they fight for dominance, power and money. With Peru being the victim of the war between humans and mythics - specifically vampires - many have gone into hiding. You are one of those people. When your home is invaded by the enemy, they imprison you and force you to serve them. However, one of them seems to take pity on you, or so you thought.

Social media

Fate’s Games ✼❀ || jjkxreader || youtuber/gamer au ||  @jjk-biased || !MUST READ! [personal fav]

Sypnosis: Faith might’ve had a lot more in store when broke college kid Y/N unknowingly roasts famous youtuber Jeon Jungkook’s Overwatch skills in front of a live audience.

Let’s get it ❀✼ || jjk x reader || youtuber au || @diorjeons ||

Sypnosis: You and Jungkook are vloggers on Youtube, being rivals since you both gained a following. Everyone thinks you hate each other because of the constant shade. The funny thing is, is that you both run a fan account for the other and no one knows.

Only for love ☾❀✼|| single dad!jjk x reader || @lysjeon ||

Sypnosis: for almost four years it had been just him and sarang, and he had no plans on changing the life they had become accustomed to any time soon, but of course y/n has to come and shake his world.

[buuckybuuchananbarnes]

Trapped (Part One)

Summary: The reader has nightmares that she can’t explain. Can her new teammates help her make sense of them? Pairing: Steve x Reader Words: 1752 Warnings: Smut

A sense of claustrophobia washed over you as you looked at your surroundings. You stood amid 50s’ era furniture and as hard as you tried to move, you couldn’t. From behind you, you heard an evil laugh. “Feeling okay?” The voice behind you continued to cackle and you knew you couldn’t escape. The more you struggled, the more you felt your body become rigid.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” the voice spoke again. As she came into view you were shocked at how normal she looked. Most of the villains you were used to looked, well, like a villain. This woman did not. She had on plain clothes and had long, curly brown hair that fell at her shoulders. Honestly, had you seen her around, you wouldn’t have thought twice about her.

Before anything else could happen, your eyes popped open. You looked around at your surroundings and were surprised that you were at home in your bed. That dream had felt so… real, so lifelike. You grabbed your phone that was lying on the pillow beside you and checked the time. Shit, you thought, I’m late for my interview!

You took a moment to take in the building in front of you. The Avengers Tower seemed to reach past the clouds, and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of yourself helping others and working alongside such an incredible team. As you walked in, you were greeted by a receptionist, who told you where you would be meeting with Tony Stark. You couldn’t help but feel a tingle of nervousness as you walked in and saw the man who had built the Avengers from scratch.

“Look, I’m not here to waste your time, and if I’m honest I’ve got about a million things to do. I’ve seen what your capable of Y/N, and I want you on our team. Your assets would be incredible to us and could honestly help us out a lot. What do you say?” You had walked in just mere minutes ago, and after introducing yourself to Tony, Natasha, and Steve, Tony had very bluntly offered you the job. “I… yes?” You said, still reeling from the fact that Tony had wanted to meet not to give you an interview, but to offer you the position without a second’s thought.

But what had thrown you off more was Steve. You knew he was a big dude. For one he had super serum running through his blood, but secondly, you knew he spent a lot of time training. However, what was throwing you off more, was the way he was looking at you. When he walked in, he sat down, and his eyes ran you up and down. Not in a sizing-you-up way, as the other two were, but in a lustful way. When he caught you staring at his biceps, he couldn’t help but smirk, and you could swear his eyes kept themselves on your mouth.

“Y/N?” You heard Tony’s voice but it sounded far away. You realized you had been lost in thought, thinking about Steve and not about the job opportunity you were just given. “Sorry?” You said and watched Steve’s lips curl into a smile. “Would you like to see where you’ll be staying?” Tony asked again. “Oh, umm, yeah that would be great” you said, trying not to blush at the attention that was on you now. Focus, Y/N, you said to yourself. This was important, and Steve… he would have to wait.

“Great, so because I have to go, I’ll leave the tour to Steve. You got that don’t you?” Tony looked at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Sure thing Tony, let me know if there’s anything else you need from me today; Y/N you can follow me.”

You’d felt it when you got onto the elevator: sexual tension you could cut with a knife. Steve focused his attention on the elevator door but when he cleared his throat for the third time in a minute, you knew he could feel it too. As the elevator dinged, you let out a sigh of relief. You followed Steve through the hallway where he showed you where everyone lived, and throughout the tour, you started to feel incredibly sexually frustrated. When Steve showed you the gym, you felt your mouth moving before your brain even registered what you were saying, “will you spar with me?” Steve seemed visibly confused by the question but humored you regardless. Your fists against the padding of Steve’s sparring gloves helped your body to relax a little, and you started to feel much better. That was, until you looked into Steve’s eyes and saw that they had turned hazy from lust at the sight of the sweat forming around your neck. This in turn, caused you to miss Steve’s glove and the sheer momentum of your punch had you on the ground.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, and you couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed. You turned so that your back was on the mat. “Ouch” you said, before giggling. Steve gave you a hand, and as you reached to touch it, you felt a spark of electricity. Feeling Steve’s hand clasped around your own, you knew you were done for. “You want to get out of here?” you asked, knowing that the sexual tension had somehow returned even stronger.

“You have no idea,” Steve responded, leading you out of the gym.

You didn’t know where you were going, Steve was leading you down hallway after hallway. Past the movie room, past the kitchen, past the other doors… he was going somewhere, and he was going there quickly. He stopped at a door, and opened it quickly, before saying “and this… is my room.” He led you in there, his hand in yours. He closed the door and locked it with one hand, while picking you up with the other. You were surprised at how easily he had done so, but instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist. You couldn’t help but kiss him, your movements sloppy and rushed. You wanted him – Steve – the man in front of you. And from the rushed and eager kisses of his own, he wanted you too. Your hands instinctively tugged and pulled at his short hair, wrapping your fingers around any strands that you could, your lips moved their way to his neck, kissing and biting him. Steve laughed darkly, before throwing you onto the bed. You pulled his tight shirt and quickly helped him with his pants. In one swift motion, you put your leg around his waist, and moved so that you were now on top. You continued to kiss and pull his hair and pulled away – ushering a sigh from Steve. Your lips trailed their way down his chest, past his eight pack abs, and finally stopped at his hips. You kissed one hip, while massaging the other, and then made your way down to his hard and long dick. Your lips sucked on his dick, starting at his shaft and making your way up to his tip. His hips bucked, but this only caused you to create this sensation more. Your lips teased him as they encased only his tip, and your tongue swiveled over him again and again. You removed your mouth, so that you could move your tongue down to his vein and massaged it, creating him to softly whisper “fuck”. Your mouth sucked softly on his skin before your mouth was fully covering him. You moved your way down to the floor, your knees now on the ground, and motioned for Steve to stand up. You felt his dick fill every inch of your mouth, and make its way down into your throat, causing you to slightly gag. Fighting the feeling, you let your tongue run its way over his shaft as his hips bucked once, twice, three times. You put your hand on his dick, and massaged his vein. As he continued to thrust his hips, you felt his movements become jerkier and less in sync with you as your thumb and forefinger massaged his vein over and over. Soon, you could feel his vein pulsing as your mouth was filled with his delicious cum.

As soon as you swallowed, Steve wrapped his arm around the small of your back and threw you onto the bed. You yelped with surprise as your body hit the bed and saw Steve’s pupils were completely blown. “My turn” he said, as he made his way down to your pussy. You had never felt anything quite like this. Steve wasn’t rushing through this, he was taking his time, slowly savoring every inch of you. You could feel his tongue, as he licked up to your clit. His movements were slow, so slow that you whined for him to move faster. His lips sucked on your clit and you instinctively grabbed the sheets, as you got closer to climax, his lips moved themselves off of you. You groaned with agony, and as soon as you did, you felt Steve’s fingers move inside you. His lips made their way onto yours and you moaned into his mouth because of how good he made you feel. His lips traveled their way down, stopping at your breasts. His mouth sucked and bit on your nipple and the sensation, combined with his fingers inside you, made your back arch. As soon as you did, Steve replaced his fingers with his tongue, and his thumb made small circles on your clit. Your hands instinctively pulled on his hair as his tongue went deeper, and deeper inside of you. The intense euphoria caused you to cry out and you could yourself climax as Steve lapped up your sticky sweet substance. You were absolutely spent, and it was because of the god-like man who savored every inch of you.

Before Steve could do anything else, there was a knock on the door. He instinctively changed into his tight t-shirt and jeans and reached for the door, opening it just enough that his head poked through. You could hear indistinct talking but not much more. Steve closed the door before looking at you, “duty calls unfortunately, is there anything I can get you?” He asked. You shook your head no, and he gave you a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room. You lay on his bed a while longer, your only thought, I can’t believe that just happened.

[roswellnmsource]

Jeanine Mason and Roswell, New Mexico showrunner preview season 3 of the extraterrestrial drama

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Was the year time jump because of the pandemic? To sidestep making that too central to the plot, or was that always the plan?

JEANINE MASON: That was always our intention and it was just sort of a saving grace in that way. We also don't acknowledge the pandemic in real-time on our show. There are no masks and that was just so wonderful just to get work in that way and have that time where it was a little more normal. Also, that's just our show — we want you to come to us the way you always do, which is for nineties nostalgia, sexy Cowboys, brilliant scientists, you know?

CHRIS HOLLIER: So we wanted to drop our characters in a year later, let them stew in their individual decisions that were made last season. We want everyone to root for our poster couple but we want to honor what happens in real life, which is sometimes you step away from that person, even if you are entwined with them in a very particular way. So we wanted it to be a real enough time and distance so that they could live a little life on their own.

With showrunner Carina Adly MacKenzie departing at the end of season 2, has much changed? Or are you still working with ideas she had in place?'

HOLLIER: It's a little bit of both. There are things that Carina and I built that live all the way through and then once the story got up on its feet, discoveries were made with our new crop of people that we were like, "Oh, we're going to bend it this other way."

Jeanine, how is Liz doing in her new life in L.A. when we pick up this season?

MASON: Well, it's been a year and at this point, her life is actually pretty great. She just hasn't taken a second to acknowledge that. She's doing what she does best, which is just full head in her work and trying to figure out what she could use of her discoveries and her brilliance to save Maria. She has a great job, a really nice place, and an awesome partner at work who is a good time and a real match for her in terms of intellect and ambition. He begins to ask her to recognize that and to maybe give something a chance that she's been reluctant to because of how drawn she is to Roswell and to Max. It's a fun first episode. It's sexy. It's fun to find opportunities for her. She's our hero so she's got a lot on her shoulders and anytime where we can find levity for her is always a real treat for the writers and for me.

And no Crashdown waitress uniform must be nice?

MASON: Honestly, I miss it quite a lot right now. I have a note in my notes with Chris, I'm like, "I gotta tell him we gotta find him more opportunities for it."

Should Liz and Max shippers be worried about them finding their way back to one another after he destroyed her work and didn't follow her to L.A.? Should we resign ourselves to a season apart?

MASON: This season really is about these characters having themselves mirrored to each other. Max and Liz need some growing and ultimately they can't do anything but be orbiting each other. We found so many opportunities to have such a beautiful language around the cosmic element of their connection. They're asking, "Is this our decision, or are we just acting off of a decision that the cosmos made for us?" It was so fun to navigate that. I always have such a good time with Chris Hollier and with Nathan Dean, just finding the little tiny notches, a tiny bit of movement towards where they're going next. I really loved following them. It's my favorite Max and Liz season to date.

HOLLIER: It's not a season apart. I'll tease that they, in an unexpected way, end up in front of each other relatively soon. But it's really about when am I ready? And what does it mean to talk to my ex? When someone makes such a big influence in your life, when do you know it's over and when do you know you should fight again? We tried to give them real grown-up lives.

Steven Krueger (The Originals) also joined the cast as Heath this season. What can you tease about his character?

HOLLIER: He's just an awesome human being. I know him from The Originals and we were like, "If we're going to have to be stuck with people in the desert, who do we want?" You want to be stuck with a handsome and lovely and charming Steven Krueger. So really this was looking at, "Well, what did Liz want and what does it look like when you start to give Liz versions of what she wants?" Heath is somebody that is beyond being just a lovely person, he is smart and wants to advance science and that's appealing to Liz. It becomes, "What does it look like when the man that I hang around with all day is also into the same things that I am?"

MASON: I love him. Heath is just such a fun, whip-smart, fantastic character. His humor was so fun. We've been having a good time with kicking the humor up really through season two and in season three, we just took it up another notch. There are some moments that are like, "Is this a drama or is it a sitcom?" Looking back on it, he was such a fun partner to spar with. They're both such intellectual characters and I love that there's a real meeting of the minds. It makes it competitive and sexy. I know a lot of fans are so excited because they know him from The Originals and he's going to be a great addition.

Technically, Mr. Jones is a new character too. Can you tell us anything at all about him?

HOLLIER: I'd say he's a new character — and a fully-fleshed interesting new character. Mr. Jones has an awesome beard. At some point, he might lose that beard. A lot of people are asking me, "Is Jones good or bad?" And what I would argue is that's a perspective based upon who you are in the conversation that you're having with him. He knows a lot about our heroes' story and he knows a lot about home. He'll be able to answer questions for them. This season our heroes will get to learn why they ended up here on earth. One of the things I think that people will love is that they're going to get to see that home planet this year. We asked ourselves a lot about this whole season, "What have we set up for the past two?" We look at these first three seasons almost like a trilogy so a lot of things are going to be paid off.

Has Nathan enjoyed pulling double duty this season? Or is he just exhausted?

MASON: He's exhausted, but he's such a champ. That really is the beginning of this mirroring thing that starts with Max and Jones with him actually getting to look at himself to a degree and those questions that come up. The self-analysis that it provokes in him is really the beginning of what is happening to all of our characters this year; everybody's being confronted with themselves. I loved that the Max/Jones of it was also a real sci-fi element.

Did he really grow that beard or was that not possible if he had to go between the two characters?

MASON: That was a prosthetic beard and our makeup team killed it. He was not accustomed to early mornings, which, of course, all of us babes are. It was a lot of extra time in the chair for him.

Can Jones dupe Liz into thinking he's actually Max since she doesn't know he exists?

MASON: You're totally on to something. It's a real and pressing threat. I mean, she's totally in the dark and he looks like her cosmic lover!

HOLLIER: What I will say is that, Liz — beyond her being number one on the call sheet — is integral to this story in a way that she and none of our characters are going to perceive when they start episode one. We're bringing [the characters] to a new crossroads moment in their lives and they're getting, through Jones, a mirror into their own lives to decide what they're going to become next.

How's Rosa (Amber Midthunder) doing this season?

MASON: By the end of season two, Rosa really makes the decision to start taking care of herself. She really becomes an incredible asset to the Scooby-Doo gang. It's something that Liz is in constant adjustment to. As much as she's the younger sister, she feels very protective of her sister and Liz has had to make adjustments in her trust and faith in Rosa. I loved it because it just felt like a real personal, authentic thing that sisters would go through, but also that Hispanic sisters would go through. I think we sometimes, culturally, have a tendency to baby our women — maybe that's the wrong word — but just to underestimate their physical ability and what they might take on, and sort of 'queen' our women in a way where we treat them tenderly. I hate that. I'm a tough bitch and so is Rosa. So Liz has to confront that and go, "I'm an idiot to underestimate you. You've done nothing but prove me wrong."

What about Maria and her visions?

HOLLIER: This year I think Maria has the most complete arc of any season, as she recognizes things about herself that cause more questions about who she is, who her family is, how she's linked to this story. We dive into it in the present-day and we dive deliciously back in time too.

In the exclusive clip above we see her have a vision of a funeral, can you tease anything about who potentially might be about to die?

HOLLIER: Maria is front and center in driving the first half of the mystery for us. She's burdened with trying to figure out whose death she is seeing. It takes a few episodes to unravel and we use it to ask, is this linked to our supernatural stories or real-world stories that are going on politically? Is it bad luck? Is it herself? There's a whole gambit at play. We joke that we solved a past murder, now we're going to try to stop one.

Can Malex (Michael and Alex) shippers have hope that this might finally be their time?

HOLLIER: What I would say is that I think that Malex fans are really going to dig this journey. We, as writers, put them at the same level of importance as Max and Liz. So we wanted to really honor the next step in what they may or may not be. How did they grow up and how did they have those hard conversations just like Liz and Max are going to have?

Is Isobel going to continue to date women this season?

HOLLIER: Isobel is going to go on a more personal journey. You got to love yourself before you can love someone else. We lean into those possibilities by the end of who she might love. It's not something that is dropped all season — it is something that you'll see. We play some romantic comedy stuff with her character this year and with Maria that I think fans are gonna dig. There's a lot going on in the world and wanted to pump some humor and hope into it.

Will see more of Liz fighting to challenge the perception of the Latinx community?

MASON: I think that just by nature of it being one of such few shows that are led by a Latin woman, it's always going to be, to an extent, a protest or an assertion of the space that I get to fill and that Liz Ortecho gets to fill on network TV. I was really excited to just have Chris as a collaborator. Over our hiatus, before the season started, I was doing a lot of reading. I chronicled the books that play into Liz every season on my Instagram. I was reading some Sonia Sotomayor. Her book is just incredible. I was texting him screenshots of pages of the book with things underlined. Ten episodes deep into season 3, he's like, "Remember that page you sent me?" He's a real dream collaborator. I loved him for that. A pressing struggle for people of color is going through the ranks in these big corporations and then sometimes coming to find out that those corporations are purporting to support marginalized groups but actually aren't following through. So how do you, as someone who's having your success, your dreams become reality, navigate supporting the company and giving so much of your intelligence and your work — that they often legally own, especially with science — to a company that isn't going to be for your people?

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - You're Kidding Me

So we’ve finally come to the last of season two’s filler episodes. Let’s see if we can knock this one out real quick. 

Summary: The front door of the mysterious seashell estate vanishes, trapping the group. They try to find another way out but find a spinning top whose magic regresses Cassandra and Lance into toddlers and Shorty into a baby.  They’ve only have an hour to find the top and reverse the effects or the changes become permanent. Unfortunately neither of Rapunzel’s or Eugene’s parenting methods keep their now childish friends on task. 

So Why Did No One Stand Watch Last Night?

They were all sleeping right next to the entrance, and after the run in with the mirror monsters, you would think that they would have taken turns standing watch. 

But nope, the front door vanishes when no one was looking cause they don't have any foresight. 

A Low Budget Doesn’t Excuse Filler

Like most of season two, this is yet another episode that adds very little to the overall story. It’s slightly better than the Return of Quaid or Curses, but not by much. I put it on the same level as The Forest of No Return, as I do like the mains’ development, but there’s really no reason why such episodes exist to begin with. 

The meta reason for staying in certain places for three episodes, instead of only one or two, is because of budgetary reasons. The crew have to build new sets and models for every new location or person the cast comes across. This costs money to make, so the higher ups wanted to reuse assets. Which is understandable, but not an excuse for utilizing them poorly.  

If you need to stay in one area or have characters reappear, then you need to give story reasons for that. Ones that tie back to the overall narrative and/or the mains’ character arcs. 

The shell house and Matthews should be more important than what they are as they both have connections to the ultimate big bad of the series.Adria shouldn’t be wasted for a whole episode when she’s the only one driving the plot in season two and has limited appearances. Vardaros and its people shouldn’t be a one and done thing if you’re going to spend so much time setting them up. And there’s still one off episodes, locations, and characters who aren’t brought back and add nothing 

Not only does this make for a weaker story, it also undermines the cost saving measures that you tried to implement to begin with.  

This Isn’t Representation! 

Get it?! 

She’s a top! 

She’s totally gay, but like not really, cause this can also be interpreted as a dominatrix joke, and there’s no other real indication of her orientation outside her like smiling at her best friend/crush/sister sometimes and keeping that rose her creepy ex-boyfriend gave her. 

And don't give me any bullshit excuses about Disney not letting the crew make Cassandra canonly gay/bi. 

The Owl House aired just this year, the same year as Tangled’s final season. Also Globby and Carl from Big Hero Six were both confirmed to be a couple on screen a month after this episode came out. Both shows would have been in development at the same time as Tangled was. Both would have been subject to the same regulations and restrictions while writing their stories. 

It isn’t “Disney” that stopped the storyboard artists from having Cass be a confirmed lesbian, it’s Chris and Ben, the head writers themselves, who failed to write it into the story properly, if at all. 

Chris is the one who made Raps and Cass “sisters”. Chris is the one who wouldn’t tell the crew about his ‘twists’. Chris is the one who had Cass crush on Andrew, even after he tried to kill her. Chris is the one who made Cassandra ‘straight’ and has since used gay baiting to keep her fanbase in his pocket. 

Like I am really damn sick and tired of Casspunzel stans defending Chris on twitter, when he’s the very one who sunk thier ship to begin with. I’m also really fed up with certain fans trying to bully others for not accepting their “Cass is a lesbian” headcanons as fact because what the storyboarders say on twitter after the show is over with isn’t gospel and isn’t real rep. 

I don’t care if you ship Cass with Raps or headcanon her as being gay. Ships and headcanons are great and can be a lot of fun. But fuck you if you ever try to shame people for not sharing your ships/headcanons. Not only is it biophobic and acephobic to insist that there’s only ever a binary option when it comes to orientation and shipping, but it also reinforces harmful stereotypes and tropes about people in the queer community. 

Like, yes, I personally may be an introverted angry bitch who’s an LBGTQA member and activist, but that doesn’t mean that every introverted bitchy woman in media is a lesbian. What kind of message does that send people when that’s the only character archetype that’s given representation or is loudly proclaimed as ‘gay’ by the wider audience? Fuck that noise! 

I Know Humor is Subjective but...WHY?

Why did we give the baby a beard? How does that logically work? Did anyone outside of the crew actually find this funny? 

TTS has like this one out of touch dude throwing out jokes that don’t really land with the target audience. Fans have called it ‘boomer humor’ but it’s actually ‘Gen-X’ humor. Not only because Chris and Ben are Gen Xers but because this is the type of crap my older brother would find hilarious. 

Gen Xers are between Boomers and Millennials and so their humor is this weird blend of gross out shock humor, ironic nihilism, and out of date stereotypes that are only mildly better than those of the previous generation before them. They’re the generation who gave us Beavis and Butthead, South Park, and Clerks. 

That’s not a criticism of Gen X as a generation, but rather just an acknowledgment that they’re worlds away from the neo-dada absurdism, more socially conscious, and globalized humor of Gen Z.    

So Why Is the Bad Guy Telling the Heroes How to Foil His Plans? 

Like he not only tells them how to fix their problem and how long they got in order to do so, but he also informs them how it happened in the first place. This goes directly against his plans. Had he simply said nothing and stayed out sight, then Raps and Eugene would have been lost for the full hour and most likely not have saved everyone on time. 

I like to headcanon that Mathews is just “that asshole” that loves to taunt and tease but in a that manner that gives him plausible deniability. He also may just be bored, since he’s a ghost trapped in one place all the time. Yet that still doesn’t change the fact that he shot himself in the foot here. 

Raps and Young Cass’s Relationship Is the Same as Raps and Adult Cass’s, and That Is a Problem. 

Condescending, manipulative, hypocritical, and bossy is the way Rapunzel treats everyone. She doesn’t understand the actual difference between a child and an adult. She only understands who she who she can and can’t boss  around. And those people that she can’t place under her thumb are labeled antagonists by the show. 

Nor does she actually care about what either kid Lance or kid Cass has to say. She’s just being proformative, and young Cass can see through that BS, which why her methods do not work. It’s not because she’s not ‘strict’ enough; it’s because she’s not being honest. 

Meanwhile Child Cassandra is just as combative, rude, bullying, and entitled as Adult Cassandra. In season three she regresses even further and becomes more violent than before.

Unlike Rapunzel, Cassandra wasn’t trapped in a tower for 18 years with zero human contact outside of her abuser. She escaped that fate and was raised in a loving home. That doesn’t mean that there won't be scars, but I still expect her to be more mature than her seven year old self. Just because she’s whining about not being special enough at 24 instead of screaming about the floor being lava doesn’t mean that she’s still not throwing a temper tantrum.  

Like I should not be seeing a replay/foreshadowing of their main conflict here. They aren’t children. They’re dynamic isn’t that of a mother and child. It’s not even a big sister looking out for a little sister type relationship. Its two immature women dragging innocent victims into their bitchy cat fight for dominance over the other.  

If you want me to take their issues seriously then give them real stakes to disagree over, mature behavior that I can root for, and a resolvement that doesn’t reverse any potential development that they could have had.    

Matthews Plan Makes Zero Sense

For starters, half the group being kids isn’t enough of a reason for Rapunzel to stay at the shell house. Even if the effects of the time top became permanent, then Raps and Eugene could just leave and take the kids with them. Either to finish the road trip, or go straight back to Corona. Not that there’s any real reason to get the Dark Kingdom anyways, nor is there a ticking clock stopping Raps from trying again later if she chose to. 

Rapunzel also is not obligated to become anyone’s mother. If she took them back to Corona than Cap would undoubtedly raise Cassandra all over again, and Lance and Shorty could be adopted by someone else. Any of the pub thugs might take them or even perhaps the King and Queen since they missed out on raising their actual daughter. Though for my money I’d get Monty or Xavier to take them in. They seem the most mature and both are shown to be good with kids. 

Then again Rapunzel has been shown twice now to not give a damn about abandoning orphans, so even the ‘dump them at an orphanage’ or ‘leave them alone in the woods to fend for themselves’ isn’t entirely off the table either. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. Sadly, only Eugene’s love for Lance might be the one thing to stop her from doing just so, and even that’s iffy. 

As for the missing door from earlier, if that was all that was stopping them from leaving then the time top shenanigans were fully unnecessary altogether. 

I Actually Like Eugene and Rapunzel’s Conflict Here; I Just Wish It Was In a Better Episode. 

Each of their viewpoints stem from their upbringing. 

Rapunzel is unique in that she was simultaneously emotionally abused and neglected while being physically spoiled. Especially once she found out that she was princess, where she was then handed nearly anything and everything she wanted. She doesn’t recognize that getting your every possible whim come true can be damaging. Nor does she have any comprehension of what living in poverty is like and how this many toys is wasteful to someone like Eugene who had so very little and stole to survive. 

She does however associate limits, boundaries, and orders with abusive behavior because she’s been denied autonomy and respect her whole life. She’s never seen what healthy parenting looks like and how rules can be applied correctly.     

To Rapunzel no orders is ‘freeing’ and ‘validation’ is all that is needed to get a child to listen to you. Which doesn’t work for her because she doesn’t understand that real communication is more than just giving a compliment now and then. 

Meanwhile Eugene lacked any sort of anchor at all. He was left to his own devices at a young age and had no one to rely on for emotional needs and, after leaving the orphanage, no one to provide physical needs either. 

It’s telling that he and Lance latched onto Quaid as the only authority figure in their life, despite Quaid never out right adopting them. He was the only sense of stability that they had who they could trust wouldn’t hurt them, despite being strict with them. 

And now that Eugene has gotten older and is reformed, he can probably understand why Quaid was so harsh on him and Lance. Quaid probably did more to try and help them turn from a life crime than even Rapunzel did. Like meeting Rapunzel was the inciting incident that inspired Eugene to make that leap, but the groundwork was already laid out for him to do so elsewhere. Things like his good communication skills, respect and empathy of others, and understanding of boundaries had to be learned from somewhere, and if not from the Sheriff of Vardaros than who? 

What I’m getting at is that, while Rapunzel rejects her parents methods but then fails to break her learned habits from them anyways, Eugene is the reverse. He’s come to embrace his mentor’s teachings, but he fails to implement them correctly because he’s not Quaid. Being authoritative isn’t his strong suit. It goes against his usual nature as the easy going person that he is and so any attempts to come across as forceful fail as they’re hollow. 

Kids know authenticity and genuineness when they see it. The children reject Rapunzel because she’s not being real with them, yet they also reject Eugene cause he’s not being honest with himself. 

It’s a complex and mature conflict. Neither person is fully right nor wrong, and only by learning from each other and adopting both methods can they achieve their goal. 

TTS can be deep when it wants to be. There’s a good foundation here for mature themes and complex characterization. It’s just the series doesn’t ever commit to it. 

Whatever personal drama going on here about two young adults trying to cope with their past traumas and how that affects their current life and future goals is completely lost in the magical goofy antics and low stakes situation. Even the stuff about Eugene and his relationship with Quaid is reduced to nothing but a one off joke rather than being genuinely explored as a point of development.  

Imagine how much more powerful things would have been if Angry and Red were brought along on the trip. If this argument was over them and whether or not they should adopt the two girls themselves or consider other options. That would be something with real weight. Something with a choice that had actual consequences attached to it. Something that would permanently affect all involved parties. Something that wouldn’t make the two leads look like outright dicks for abandoning two children for a second damn time in a row.    

You Have 70 Feet of Magical, Indestructible Hair! Why Are You Afraid of a Bunch of Dogs!?

You’ve fought off giant monsters, killer robots, and supernatural beings with magical powers. What do you mean you can’t hold off a pack of guard dogs while busting down a stuck door? Why is Eugene the shield for everyone and not the actual unbreakable hair that you use as a shield all the damn time? And Why did we have to rely on Shorty again to be the deus ex machina of the episode? 

At this point the writers should have just made him Demantius instead of the monkey.   

What Happened To This New Dream? Where Did It Go In Season Three?

Most fans who do enjoy season two happen to be big New Dream fans as this is by far and away the best season for them. I’ll admit that the series, up to this point, had me actively liking them together, despite being originally lukewarm to the pairing in the movie. 

Their conflicts were for the the most part mature and real. They learned from one another equally and had open communication when it didn't involve ‘marriage is a trap’ BS. Things, like compromising on differentiating future goals, honesty and communication, and making time for one another and extending effort into a relationship while being true to yourself are all relatable issues. 

Even today's episode featured the topic of having kids and parenting. Which is a discussion you absolutely need to have with your prospective spouse before entering into any long term commitments and signing any legal contracts. For real, I’ve seen marriages fall apart because they didn’t agree on whether or not they wanted children. 

I don’t know what went down between writing season two and season three, but things quickly took a sharp turn away from this dynamic and nosedived into a pit of uncomfortable bullying and gross sexist implications here after. 

Matthews Plan Goes Against Zhan Tiri’s Plan 

Yeah so Matthews is one of Zhan Tiri’s disciples, but he apparently doesn’t know of her goals/plans, cause she needs Rapunzel and company to reach the moonstone, not stay stuck here. 

The meta reason for this that the Zhan Tiri’s story was altered at the last minute and the writers failed to make sure there was any sort of consistency between what they already set up and where they actually wound to actually taking the plot.  

The in universe reason is that Zhan Tiri is an impotent moron, but that’s not what the writers were going for so it’s a fail. 

Conclusion  

I like the New Dream stuff, and Matthews is at least entertaining despite being incompetent. Everything else about the episode is ‘meh’ tho. 

[glimmerglanger]

SO ABOUT THAT SUGAR DADDY AU (Oh, Worm?)

Oh, anon, you know how I said I thought it wasn’t my thing? TURNS OUT I WAS WRONG. It is my thing, if it’s involves silly shenanigans and worm research. Many thanks to @lackingfaculties for convincing me of my wrongness. I am recording out conversation re: that sugar daddy au right here, under a read-more for my own future reference and because it makes me so happy.

lackingfaculties: My mind jumps to Anakin as the sugar daddy, and Obi-Wan as a down-on-his luck nematologist or something. Mainly I just laugh at the crazy shit rich!Anakin would get away with.

glimmerglanger i started grinning at nematologist and HAVE NOT STOPPED he needs the money, his work is important! (anakin keeps trying to eat the things he's studying) it's ani getting the money from palps, where is it coming from???

Some sort of extreme sports star? Or in a modern au, a cryptocurrency guy or a youtube titan who builds battle robots or something? What's the most ridiculous way a 22 year old could become fabulously wealthy?

"youtube titan who builds battle robots" is the best thing I've ever heard. Or, oh, those people who build and fly the really fast little planes for redbull? But idk if they make any real money....

Maybe he incorporates some revolutionary computer software in the plane that he patents and licenses? But he makes his $ in a way that Obi-Wan finds inexplicable, and enough $ to substitute for his psychic powers and laser sword

ahaha, obes googles him after they meet and is like.... sounds fake, but ok. He can't really argue, anakin definitely HAS money and is easy with spending it, after all

Would Anakin proposition him the first time they met, like that bad movie with Demi Moore and Robert Redford, and have to convince Obes? Or would Obi-Wan come into this already open to being a sugar baby?

 i feel like maybe obi-wan knew what was up (maybe an app was involved) but anakin attempts the proposition anyway and is so bad at it the whole thing almost falls through? But obes really needs that worm research money, so....

also, i am imagining ani's friends his age teasing him about getting a sugar baby that's so much older and calling him sugar grandpa and then they see him and they're like oh shit oh fuck nvm we get it

Huh... Obes and Bant the ichthyologist get drunk, and after chugging a few bottles of rose make some dubious decisions?

And Obi-Wan has been making people lose their minds over his hotness for the past 21 years IRL, so I completely agree.

I feel one if his friends must actually say the term GILF

 *crying amused tears* they're like what are we going to do, our funding is in the shitter, we desperately need some outside revenue. More drinks are had. No one remembers who actually suggested obi-wan uh.... using his money maker, but there they are

OMG PLEASE THEY MUST

How would Obi-Wan's friends react to this? Would this even be the most ridiculous thing he's ever done? Probably not. Would Quinlan the parapsychologist ask him for sugar babying tips?

 i am laughing about bant having a moment of drunken revelation and suggesting the sugar baby thing and obi-wan going oh no i could never ask you to-- and her being like, no, obes, I'm talking about YOU doing it, for the good of the department

 this is def not most ridiculous thing he's done, some of them knew him when he was a grad student. OMG QUINLAN LIKE LISTEN DOES HE HAVE ANY FRIENDS YOU COULD INTRODUCE ME TO AHAHA

Obviously quinlan meets Aayla through Anakin! She's his lawyer or his agent? Or Anakin introduces Quinlan to Padme, who's a former debutante/current... uh. Radical fashion environmentalist?

Bant masterminds the whole thing! She whips out her phone and takes some tasteful, softcore photos that she uploads to the app

 obi-wan barely remembers the photos and is like aha surely they weren't that revealing and then he checks the app and is like OH FUCK but before he can delete them in embarrassment he realizes that he's got like.... multiple replies... and the department really needs the funds.... and what could it hurt really, to meet this guy who does... something with airplanes....ahaha

 i now need actual fic about professor quinlan and radical fashion activist padme, or, oh what would ventress do, hm...

Padme goes somewhere to organize a protest at not!Zara HQ, with her inner circle who all wear kabuki makeup to elude facial recognition tech. Coincidentally Quinlan is there investigating a potential... uh. Jesus on toast sighting? Something Fox Mulder-y. Asajj is Zara's efficiency consultant? So she chops heads off figuratively in this AU

I mean, Bant is a tasteful woman. No dickpics, but Obes didn't realize just how much butt cleavage was showing? But enough to attract Anakin's attention. Just how did he start browsing this app though?

 i feel like maybe he just has no idea how to start a relationship, he's got that prodigy awkwardness, but he's also lonely or needs a date for something fancy or just is horny and he looks thru pretty sure it'll be a dead end BUT OH THERE ARE OBI-WAN'S ASSETS and he.... cannot select fast enough

That's Anakin all right! And Obi-Wan can tell himself it's just escorting

 obi-wan: I'm def just going with him to this party, that's all. Anakin: plotting how to get him in bed and naked, maybe offering more money would work?

 also, obes hiding in anakin's bathroom, msging bant desperately like: he just bought a microscope i mentioned once and touched my back, bant, what do i do am i a hooker tell the truth

She tells him, think of the worms. Think of their joint research project into worms and fish. Future generations of scientists need their research. You're their only ho[pe], Obi-Wan Kenobi.

ahahhaah, and so he does, at least until the first time they kiss, and then he isn't thinking about worms

Exactly, Anakin is hot and very sweet underneath the ridiculousness. And Obi-Wan's lonely too, his worms can't keep him warm at night

If you end up writing this, please include the word "worm" as often as possible

if i thought i could write good humor i would write this and title it "Oh, Worm?"

[austennerdita2533]

A/N: Just a Literati trifle in celebration of GG’s 20th Anniversary Week. I still have another chapter or two to write but I wanted to get this out before the event officially ended. (Canon compliant + OS + divergences)

Also here: (AO3)

Enjoy! 

xx Ashlee Bree

An Archive of Words Between Us

One day, many weeks into it but still no closer to clarity about what it is between them, Rory does what she does best: she makes a list.

Marked at the beginning, from when she and Jess first met, she soon starts to add to it with frightening regularity. A new entry comes any time there’s news, insight, questions, or growing confusion to report. She writes it all down. Out. She compiles everything in a beat-up old notebook she’s taken to carrying around.

Over the years that follow it becomes a confessional of sorts for her, a still developing story. She reaches for a pen whenever the mood strikes, and writes…then writes some more…

Committing to paper all the things they’ve said to each other over the course of their history, as well as many of the things they didn’t.

- i. things we said when we were strangers -

“Hey, Dodger, wait a minute,” she calls out before he disappears behind the gazebo. “Is this a gimmick of yours? Do you always write margin notes in the books you steal from strangers?”

Jess stops. Casts a cursory glance over his shoulder before turning back around with hands in his hoodie pocket.

“Depends, I guess.”

“On?”

“Does it matter?”

Rory shrugs.“You could be a literature-defacing miscreant on the lam for all I know. Your face might be tacked to Wanted posters all over New York City. I’ve got to edge my bets, protect my assets.”

“What,” he says, “you aiming to sentence me without a trial or something?”

“Thinking about it.”

“Wow. I can’t believe you’re going to bust out the cuffs already, Judge Judy,” he chuckles, raising his hands in supplication before rocking backwards on his heels like he’s been shot. “That’s not very neighborly.”

“Sounds like there’s evidence to be had if I dig a bit.” A pause. A teasing quirk of an eyebrow. “Is there?” she asks.

Though he stays silent at this, a spark of something catches deep in his dark eyes as their gazes meet, and Rory's stomach flips.

“Well?”

“You tell me,” he says, all smooth and inscrutable and James Dean cool as hell.

“I’m no Agent Scully at the FBI, but the truth is out there. Don’t think I won’t uncover it,” Rory replies, her wit flowing strong and sure. “If I think it’s warranted I could hire Kirk to lay chase for a while…he likes detecting. Takes payment in Skittles, too. Boxes of which I will have no trouble acquiring, I assure you.”

“Who the hell’s Kirk?”

“Let me worry about that,” she beams back at him coyly, bouncing the book he’d pilfered earlier against her hip.

“Save your Skittles, concerned citizen. I’m clean.”

“Oh, yeah? And why should I believe you when I hold proof to the contrary?”

“Because—” Ambling backwards in the middle of the street, a crooked smirk forms along the corner of Jess’s mouth as he gives her one last idle loll of his shoulder. “I only leave notes for people who might appreciate them. Start with the one on page three, by the way,” he adds with a farewell salute. “It’s a doozy.”

Curiosity piqued, Rory ignores the warmth in her chest as she watches him turn to leave a second time. Instead, she buries her nose in the margins of Howl and peruses. Losing herself in his tiny blocked script the whole walk home.

- ii. things we said because we were lying to ourselves -

Pacifying the town's fears about their friendship isn’t easy.

Especially not after Jess outbids her boyfriend at the basket-bidding festival to win an afternoon of her company. Or the night he shows up on her doorstep unannounced, bearing food and intellectual discussion after she swears to everybody else she wanted to spend the evening alone. Or when he wrecks her car on their way back from a spontaneous hunt for ice cream cones.

Then there’s the time she misses Lorelai’s graduation because she’s stuck on a bus next to some scruffy-looking creep who spits chew into a soda can while he mumbles the names of state capitals under his breath in an Appalachian-sounding litany, Rory having skipped town impulsively to visit Jess in the Big Apple after Luke had sent him packing because of an accident that had no real bearing or blame. At least not unless it was half hers to share in, too, in any case.

She expends a lot of energy defending what they are to people. Clarifying what they’re not.

Pretty soon a truncated version of the truth skips from her mouth like a message she’s spent months concocting, memorizing, and then recording, with her smart enough not to speak it aloud until it sounds convincing. And it does. She makes sure of it.

Tensions abate after that, for a time. Mostly because of the distance.

Mom and Dean, in particular, seem to breathe easier with so much of it stretched between them. They’re much happier once Jess is no longer there to lurk around Luke’s, or clog the aisles of Doose’s, or stake out chalkperson outlines on the sidewalks of town where he can draw her closer to him. Too close for comfort, as far as anyone else is concerned. Even if his only aim in doing so had been to imbibe her in intellectual conversation.

Rory finds it funny how his absence from Stars Hollow makes it both easier and harder for her to placate everyone’s misgivings. The words may be simple to say, but the meaning behind them feels deflated. Half-bodied at best.

Like calculus, it causes her headaches. Forces her to work twice as hard to make everyone believe she doesn’t care that he’s gone and likely never coming back again. That the vacant space he’s left behind doesn’t sting whenever her gaze passes over it, remembering.

Exhausting though it is, however, she does her best. She makes the effort.

She starts by dolling out extra attention and assurances to Dean about her commitment to him. To their relationship. Then she pivots around mention of Jess’s existence to her mom because she knows she doesn’t approve of him let alone agree about any of his good qualities. With Lane, she focuses on school and Mrs. Kim and music they can add to her floorboard collection. And in front of Luke, so as not to burden him with more disappointment, she acts as if nothing is different. Pretends that nothing much has changed.

Omission quickly becomes a habit for Rory. A way of life.

Only once does exposure threaten to spoil everything when her mom confronts her openly one afternoon about a placeholder that’s slipped out of her copy of For Whom The Bell Tolls.

“It’s nothing,” Rory says as she makes a quick grab for it in the kitchen and blushes.

“Really? Because nothing to me looks a hell of lot like a paper plate fragment. One that’s smudged in pizza grease and blue scribbles.” Laughing, completely unaware of her daughter’s wide-eyed discomfort and humiliation, Lorelai hands it back to her without inspecting it closely. “I’m surprised by your choice is all. Messy and makeshift isn’t your typical bookmark M.O., hun.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what happens when Paris accosts you at the break bell. You drop things. People jump, drinks spill. Beloved bookmarks go soaring…”

“Ah. I take it she was yelling in dog decibels again?”

“More like she put out an APB on all aliens living a few hundred million lightyears away and then gave them exact shouting coordinates for where to find her. So same difference, really.”

Her mom snorts. Passes over the ranch dressing.

“She’s a pill, that one. I’m telling you Pink wrote that song with her in mind.” Shaking her head, Lorelai closes the fridge behind her as she bites into another French fry. “So how’d you come by the plate?” she asks, her mouth full.

“It was spontaneous. I was running late so I nicked it from the cafeteria on my way out,” Rory lies, knowing full well Chilton never dispenses paper or plastic dishes for dining.

“Oh.” Her mom considers this. “Well, I suppose there were times even Madeleine Albright couldn’t find anything better to use in a pinch. That was very…replateful of you.”

“What can I say,” she exhales with relief, feigning amusement as her fib is accepted with alacrity, “the Forks was with me.”

“Only the Forks? Don’t tell me you’re leaving out the spoons and the knives. How could you?” says Lorelai, aghast, as she scoops stray kitchen utensils to press them against her chest in a bodily cuddle. “It’s cutlery discrimination!”

“No, it’s punning.”

“Says who?”

“Me.” A pause. A nibble of pizza. “Also, Shakespeare would agree.”

“Psssh, Shakespeare! That old killjoy,” her mom says dismissively, rolling her eyes in good humor as she tucks a box of strawberry Pop Tarts under her armpit and motions toward the living room. “What’s that you have written on the inside there, anyway? French? Calculus? Rolling Stone lyrics? A blueprint for the evil plan you’ve hatched to shoot Grandma to the moon? I’m dying to know.”

Waving her off, Rory tucks the shard back into the spine of her book where it belongs. Hiding it from view. “It’s for school,” she assures her as they settle onto the sofa.

“So tell me about it. I don’t care if it’s boring.”

“Pass.”

“Come on! I could use a good Chilton-instigated snooze.”

“Too bad. No beauty naps for you.”

Lorelai pouts, fake affronted. “Rude!”

(Turns out that ‘shard,’ that ‘thing for school’ which is stuck between the pages of Rory’s Hemingway, isn’t boring at all. In fact, it has a history. A story. The truth is it’s a souvenir she’s saved ever since she and Jess talked books over pizza at Antonioli’s on basket-bidding day.

Toward the end of the meal he’d ripped off a piece of plate so he could jot down his phone number and a quote. Only sliding it into her hand, folded in half, crinkled up like a note passed between desks at school, in the moments before they parted ways and headed home.

It’s stupid she’s kept it. She realizes that now. Stupider still to slip it between the pages of each new book she reads or unfurl it in the privacy of her bedroom to puzzle out if the line he’d included from A Moveable Feast is meant to have double meaning:

“We ate well and cheaply and drank well and cheaply and slept well and warm together and [liked] each other,” it reads.

Stupidest of all, she can’t seem to bring herself to stop looking at it. To throw the darn thing away. A note…a number…a greasy sliver of paper plate!)

“Like I said, Mom,” Rory swallows before smiling over at her convincingly, “it’s nothing. Really.”

- iii. things we said on the verge (of something) -

In early June, Sookie’s wedding day arrives.

Things are static again. Serene. Normal.

Granted, slight changes do sprinkle into the mix here and there because of her dad’s presence, because Dean holds her a little tighter around the waist now than he once did, but mostly it’s the same here as it’s always been. Pleasant people fade into gossip and nonsense while fun blurs into peculiarity.

Life feels simple once more. A tad plain and colorless, maybe, but simple.

Then Jess returns to town on a whim or a fluke or a who the devil knows what he’s thinking and everything goes sideways, pear-shaped, belly-up-and-down in seconds because this is the last thing she’d been been expecting and suddenly the only thing that registers is the length of the grass plus the number of steps it will take to close the distance between them. All that matters is he’s here, he’s back, he’s near enough to touch, and she’s smiling so hard she can hardly breathe as she drinks him in from head to foot like a glutton: her pulse leaping, her heart lurching free from the cage of her chest.

The whole world tilts. Collapses. The pale yellow of the sun shines down like a spotlight so it’s only a rippling alcove she sees. Just him, just her. Just them canopied beneath these flittering fronds of green.

Any rational thought Rory possesses scatters across the wind with the pollen. And then before she knows it, the ground tilts out like a ramp underfoot.

It pushes her forward. Outward. Sliding her toward him until she’s thrust and tangled in his arms with no memory at all of how she got there, or why their mouths feel so hot and wanton like this, so damn unsatisfied. It all seems impossible considering they’re still pressed together in a kiss that can only be described in one way: illicit.

“Not a word,” Rory pants when they stop and Jess pulls back, his jaw taut, his expression shuttered, to nod once understanding.

“Okay,” he says.

“Promise me.” The huskiness of her voice feels at odds with this demand, with the trembling fist she still has curled in the lapel of his jacket, but she cannot think about her stinging mouth or his tongue right now so she clings to desperation instead. “Can you do that?”

“Okay,” he repeats, all eyes, eyes, eyes. And with that single look, she forgets to breathe let alone digest anything he’s promised.

In the end, it’s an impulse that overtakes them not a decision. It’s a moment of clandestine passion they share, not a confession that will alter the circumstances any.

And yet it’s guilt, not regret, that begins to pull like an anchor in her belly until she’s running in shoes that chafe the back of her heels. It’s terror and confusion, not apology, that ripples along her nerve endings until she’s dashing through the trees like a coward or a swindler because she needs to believe behind her there’s still a haven of black and white she can cross with both feet.

Only when Rory stops does she feel the change. Does she discern the difference. It takes one sting, one breathless stitch in her side, for her to know she’s tumbled forward into color without noticing.

Looking down, and there it is. His name already singed across her chest in scarlet letters.

- iv. things we whispered on the hood of your car -

“Tell me something no else knows.”

“About what?” he asks around midnight the following April, the two of them sprawled on the hood of his car at a deserted rest stop off the I-95 on their way back from a concert in the city.

“You, silly.”

“Funny you’re thinking about penning my biography already, Churchill. I’m honored, truly, but aren’t I too young for that sort of enumeration?”

With a roll of her eyes plus a protracted har-har, Rory lifts their intertwined hands, watching, mesmerized, as their fingers thread then unthread as they lay side-by-side parked beneath the Big Dipper in this forsaken parking lot. Though they’ve been together about six months now, prying Jess open has been slow work. It’s like taking a crowbar to cement: one chip, one crack, one crumble at a time.

“Stop deflecting, Mariano,” she warns. “Evasion’s for chumps.”

“Fine,” he sighs. She presses a kiss of reward against his knuckles before curling tighter into his side. “How about this: every year roughly sixteen hundred people in New York City are bitten by other humans.”

“Bitten?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“That’s just it,” he says in his best horror story voice, “could be vampires, could be cranky commuters, could be urban mania or road rage…nobody knows.”

“Oh, please. As if I’d let you off the hook with that obvious dodge. You’re killin’ me here, Smalls!” Rory says with an elbow rib and tsk. “Second of all, you so made that biting thing up.”

When she edges her head back onto his shoulder to look at him, Jess drags his pointer finger down her forehead before bopping her affectionately on the nose, his expression neutral.

“Didn’t you?” He shrugs in that cute off-the-cuff way of his then smirks into her hairline. “That’s unbelievable!”

“It is what it is.”

“So, what,” she says as she throws her leg over his hip to lug him closer, her arm already stretched out across his middle, “is there a case of zombiepox going around that the CDC has neglected to inform us about? Because I’ve got to tell you if that’s so then I’ll need an inoculation ASAP, mister! Frazzled, bloodshot, and half-rotted is not a good look for me. It just isn’t.”

“Oh, I know.”

“Hey!” she exclaims.

“No offense, critter of Frankenstein,” he chuckles, absorbing her retaliatory swat with a grunt and rolling her further on top of him, “but I’ve seen you pre-coffee. It isn’t pretty. We’re talkin’ bolts out your neck, monster glares, frothing purple mouth and everything.”

“Yeah, yeah. Keep up your running tally and you might find I bite you next. Rory the Ripper does have a nice alliterative ring to it—you best remember that,” she warns all narrowed eyes and silky breath and arms folded under her chin.

Jess cocks his left eyebrow, brushes his thumb over her bottom lip. “Idle threats don’t scare me, Gilmore.”

“They should.”

“Maybe.” A lazy grin forms at the edges of his mouth. “But yours don’t.”

“Fine,” she blows out a breath. With her head resting in the center of his chest, Rory fixes him with one long steady look, her voice dropping an octave lower as it drains free of sarcasm to assume a more serious edge. “Name one thing that does then. That scares you, I mean,” she says.

He doesn’t answer right away. In fact, he fidgets so long beneath her that by the time he settles with his hands clasped behind his head, lost in thought and translation, peering up at the sky, she’s half convinced that silence or deflection is the best she can hope to expect from him in reply.

Reticence is a quality she’s come to recognize in Jess. It’s one she can reflect back at him in part because they’re both cut from the same quiet, introspective cloth. However, it’s also one that restricts her access to his thoughts and feelings when she most wants it, and that can take a toll. Makes her wonder if they’re parked at different weigh stations in this relationship or not.

It’s bizarre to reconcile how she can understand him so well in some contexts, to the point where she can predict his next reaction or sense a good joke hanging in the periphery that's about to descend; while in others, he’s a total head-scratcher. Like a Sudoku puzzle with numbers that don’t add up to anything.

The silence between them continues to stretch. It becomes an awkward, formless wall.

The stillness, too, which is illuminated only by the light of the moon and the faint din of the car radio, hangs between them until he draws her up his body and folds her over him with a green plaid blanket. His fingers tracing languid strokes up and down her spine.

“Swans,” he says at last, his tone subdued. Scratchy. “Swans scare me.”

“What else?”

“Tennis balls. They’re too small and fast as they zip past. I hate how they can leave imprints on your face like ugly yellow snitches.”

“Okay then. Weird but fair. What else?” Rory asks all warmth and eagerness, her eyes searching his for something he wouldn’t want to slip free.

“Pennywise.” Though she snickers at that, it’s a valid fear. Clowns unsettle her, too. Evil ones especially. She’d had nightmares for eight months after she’d read Stephen King’s It for the first time, and had taken to sleeping with the bedside lamp on for years.

“Anything more?” she asks.

“Cricket bats.”

“Ooh-ho!” Poking him, “So Mrs. Kim got to you, did she?”

“Listen, I tried to be cool and unaffected but who knows what would’ve become of my head if she’d taken a swing with that thing?” Jess shudders at the same time she imagines Humpty Dumpty and laughs. “Jeez.”

“Things would’ve gotten messy,” she adds honestly.

He stalls a moment, then blinks back at her all wariness to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “How messy are we talking here?”

Rory cocks her head and bites the corner of her mouth, musing. “Think pumpkins.”

“Smashed ones?”

“Yep.”

“Figures,” he mutters miserably.

With an encouraging pat, “Don’t worry, I would’ve stepped in before Mrs. Kim buried your handsome yet indignant face beneath the floorboards or behind a brick wall in the catacombs with Fortunato. It’s the least I could do since I sort of like you and all.”

“Sort of?” Jess asks.

“Yeah. I’m no unreliable narrator girlfriend who'd escort you to your doom, you see. I’d much prefer to keep you,” she says with an adoring grasp and swivel of his chin, which he deflects by tickling her breathless as she bends down over him.

“Gee thanks, Casper. Nice to know you care about me.”

“Not about you exactly,” she teases, her flip-floppy giggles still piercing the air. “Just your head.”

That stops him. “My head, huh?”

“Sure.” Still a little breathless, she reaches toward him to fist her fingers through thick black tendrils along his nape. “It’s pretty.” She gives the strands a little tug. “Full of thoughts I’m hoping to pilfer for further study.”

“You know, I always thought there was some hoodlum in your DNA. Now I’m convinced,” he says as he leans over to commence the tickling again. “And you will pay."

The two of them continue to roll then thump against his windshield all elbows and knees until the levity starts to leaden and transform. As Jess reaches over to cup her cheek, their gazes meet in the silvery darkness and hold, kindling like flint.

Quiet washes over them again for a moment. Only this time, it’s bloated; it’s heavy. It’s a mess of a hundred thousand decipherable something’s teetering on the precipice of expression.

A flicker of alarm passes over his features as he frames her face with his hands, palms flat against the car. He hovers aloft, unsure. Indecision mixes with fear to tangle with retreat even as gravity beckons him nearer, his head dropping low enough for their foreheads to touch.

“I sort of like you, too, you know,” Jess breathes softly, his lips lowering to press against her mouth in a quick but lingering kiss. “A lot.” His jaw clenches. “Maybe too much.”

Suddenly there’s a tightrope pulled taut and vibrating in every direction because there’s no shrinking back from the dense electricity pulsating between them. There’s no more room to dance around unnamed emotion whenever it identifies itself in blown pupils, in a bobbing Adam’s apple, in hands that slip and slide until they fit together like aligning planets.

In that instant Rory knows. She knows right then and there she’s falling in love with him, that she’s half fallen already. And it’s both a revelation and a fact so natural she can feel the truth of it whistling from deep in her bones.

Looking nervous, vulnerable, more fragile than she’s ever seen him, he swallows hard then shifts to squint out at the shadowy tree line while scratching at his nape. “It’s just…so many people have treated me like garbage that all I know how to do is spoil things. I destroy, Rory—ruin what’s good. It’s what I do best. It’s all I know. I’m trying here and all, but I…don’t know how to do this,” he says, gesturing lamely between them. “How to do us right.”

“Hey now,” she thumbs his cheek, tries to turn his head back toward her but it won’t budge, and neither will he. “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about. Go easy on him, will you?” He nods into her palm, softening a little. The tension leaves his body as he gathers her in his arms again, her head conforming to the crook of his neck, but she’s not convinced all is well yet.

“There’s no rulebook or anything,” Rory says placatingly. “We’ll figure it out together, okay? You and me.”

“Yeah.”

“We will,” she says with an emphatic, assuring squeeze. “I know we will.”

With a caustic laugh, a heavy sigh, he runs his teeth over his lip, “I’m a screw up, Rory.”

“Hey. Not true.”

“I am.” Jess sounds so resigned, so convinced, it ties her into knots thinking he sees himself that way.

“Not to me, you’re not.”

“No,” he says with a deadened inflection, with a sad downturn of his mouth. “Not to you.”

Frowning, she feels his cynicism, his self-deprecation, descend like a slash across the gut. Helpless to do anything but try to be a soft place for him and his insecurities to land, she pulls him toward her, embracing him, quieting him, caring for him more with each passing second even though a warning gong goes off in her heart when she leans in to steal another kiss.

“Maybe I’m not a screw up to you yet,” he whispers, “but I could be at another time. On another day.”

“Stop,” Rory declares forcefully, holding her finger against his lips so he knows she means it.

Jess relents. “Okay,” he sighs. “Just know I’ll get it if you change your mind.”

- v. things we cried out at a crossroads -

Strained.

Silent.

Distant.

Those are the best adjectives to describe the status of her and Jess’s relationship as the bus pulls away from the curb a couple weeks later. After the party from hell. From her place on the sidewalk, her chest full of a heaviness she can’t name, Rory stares after it - after him - with little to no regard for the hour’s lateness or for the morning bell which signals the start of homeroom.

It’s the middle of May. That means finals, graduation, and summer loom on the periphery but she doesn’t care. None of it resonates. In the background she can hear Paris barking orders at a few trembling freshman and minted sophomores, but she does nothing to intervene. She makes no move to prevent her frenemy’s yellow journalistic splatter from crushing the innocents to smithereens.

Instead, she watches the hum and bump of the vehicle’s dusty rubber wheels as they roll down the street. She tracks the plume of smoke swirling from the exhaust pipe into the sky, which clouds over with blacks and grays instead of with clearing blues and radiant yellows. She waits until the bus turns left, its engine loud, roaring, to putt around the corner. Disappearing from view.

I hope he calls later, she thinks with a pang, with an iota of hope. We need to talk soon.

Rory’s eyes want to keep traveling with him long after he’s gone. So do her feet. They seek to follow along wherever Jess has gone, to ride beside him until they’re able to make sense of this mess between them and fix it. Fix them again.

Unfortunately for them both, they don’t. And it’ll be some time before they can, let alone before they do.

[shidoukanae]

YGO! Questionnaire

Tagged by @cipher-wise​

Favorite series:

My favorite series based on what I watched and enjoyed would have to be Arc-V!!! It's honestly the series that got me to adore YGO when previously I'd seen YGO as, and I chilidishly quote, "uncool". Everything about Arc-V is pretty much wonderful: Yuya's presence as a "everyone MUST be happy" kind of character in a plot that discusses themes of war, revenge, and despair is absolutely refreshing (especially when Yuya's ideals of happiness are stripped from him and made a mockery of by, *coughs* one of my favorite characters in the franchise *coughs*). 

I love how the four Yuu boys are a wonderful combination of "protagonists" (/anatagonists) and how they each play off of each other's weaknesses and strengths, often acting as mirrors to each other in their individual dimensions while having amazing interactions (Yugo and Yuri, anyone? Yuri and Yuya?).

I admire how the endgame plot is a perversion of Yuya's ideals: he gets what he wants, showering happiness upon all, but that "happiness" is corrupted into the notion of entertainment. While Yuya seeks to provide people with smiles and laughter, to give them hope to work together through tough times and to stay strong in the face of adversity, his "counterparts" in the endgame are really good at acting as Yuya's mirror: showing that his style of performing can also be used to appease the bloodthirst of one's own self and that happiness can be corrupted into self-deserving power.

...Hard to put that into exact words without spoiling a lot of things but, gosh, let's just say that Yuri and ____ are the perfect mirrors to Yuya in terms of what his entertainment dueling style is meant to be.

The plot over all is pretty good! I won't lie and say it stands strong all the way throughout the story but the first half is amazing and there are some pretty strong episodes in the second half (Yugo and Rin, the parasite episodes in general, Yuri Yuri YURI). I can definitely say that the humor is there, the characters are amazing (if nothing else, watch for the Yuu Boys, the Bracelet Gals, and Shun versus Sora!!) and having come into the show around episode 104, I was pleasantly surprised by the trip Arc-V brought me and how it played with its protagonist, giving him hope, kicking him down, and toying with his mind - just like the way a warzone might to any idealistic individual.

In terms of other series, I like VRAINS but only up to like episode 19 (or the end of the Data Bank arc). It had potential and I kept hoping it would get better but the plot was constantly floundering, there are plot holes abundant (sewer monsters, ugh), character development is inconsistent not to mention very shallow, VRAINS has some of the best side characters but they're kicked to the curb by a bland protagonist and a villain that could've been so much cooler but they made him a sympathetic mess.

...I have a lot of gripes with VRAINS but, if it were to ever be rewritten with clear goalposts and plot twists in mind (not to mention development on ideas like Charisma Duelists because at the end of the show I still have not a fucking clue what a Charisma Duelists is or was) I would say it has potential to become my favorite series but Arc-V clearly beats it for me in every category lmao.

Zexal’s also really good too!!! I don’t get all the hate behind it because it’s actually really interesting and engaging (also IV’s definition of fanservice is literally the only type of fanservice I will ever accept) and I think I’ve even cried a couple of times during the course of the plot which is like,,, shocking considering it’s not a show I thought I’d cry over (I cried in Arc-V too but goddamn does tiny Yuya just want to make you tear up lmao). This show is really good emotionally and it’s literally so stupid how Kaito carries a lot of the early and middle game of the show yet most of the meat of the plot doesn’t begin to unravel until the second season.

Also, if you ever want to watch a show of 100+ episodes that is so masterfully written that there is foreshadowing for stuff in like episode 130+ on EPISODE ONE, please watch this. Literally there are so many hints of what is going to happen in the future in the early episodes and you won’t really be able to tell what those hints are until you’ve finished the show but goddamn when you go back and rewatch things it does indeed feel amazing how much foreshadowing they threaded into the show without you ever knowing...(please don’t search for spoilers if you intend to watch this. I went into the show knowing some spoilers tho not all and, while I was still pleased by what I watched, I honestly can agree the show is A Lot Better without knowing ANYTHING)

Favorite Protagonist: Yuya. For sure, out of all the series, Yuya. 

He’s a refreshing protagonist, especially considering he shines in a world of war and despair. He’s also someone who you empathize with right at the start and want to hope in, especially since he is the “happiness” in a word of “madness” and “sorrow”. He’s not someone out to save the world (not really, anyways), but his actions touch on the lives of others anyways, giving people in a hope in a world that is otherwise cruel and heartless. Also, it really helps that he’s able to pull you into his world of “egaos”, making you believe in him and root for him despite how cheesy his ideals may or may not sound.

Also love how, despite being the centerpiece of “happiness”, Yuya isn’t allowed to always be happy :> Not spoiling plot related things but if you like protagonists going off the rails insane at times, Yuya’s definitely a fun protagonist for that!!!

Favorite Rival:

Kaito Tenjou!!! Literally the best rival in the series that I’ve seen. Everything about him is literally perfect ngl. From the way he’s chillingly introduced, with the spine-tingling whistles and cruel, almost merciless nature, to the way he slowly becomes sympathetic while also remaining a terrifying presence whenever he appears...I love him????

Favorite BFF:

Does Shoichi count? Because like...he’s Yusaku’s closest friend and ally in the series and I generally don’t pay attention to the other BFF’s in the other series (or at least, the ones I can recall bc I know in Zexal that Yuma has a whole group of friends lmao).

But I like Shoichi!! He cares about Yusaku a lot, is pretty damn cool as a sidekick hacker, his sideplot with his brother was actually honestly endearing and I loved the mystery about him. His early-game jokes w/ Ai to tease Yusaku were also a good laugh.

Favorite GFF: 

Not a girl friend forever for the main protagonist (although she like...lowkey confessed to him...though that plot really never went anywhere so I still don’t know what the fuck THAT was about) but,,, Ema Bessho,,

If y’all knew me back in my peak YGO days when VRAINS was airing,,, this gal was and STILL is my favorite girl of the YGO series. Even though she was pretty much done dirty imo I still love her (even despite considering she’s been made a damsel-in-distress at least three times, she’s only ever won one duel on-screen despite being supposedly good at dueling, ngl they could’ve done so much more with her but tbh she’s mostly just an asset to solve problems at whim and barely gets character development/does nothing but watch and spectate stuff late-game).

Even though she’s like...the unfortunate side character who’s probably meant to be more fanservice than interesting, in the first 19 episodes (and even the Revolver vs. her fight as well as the one time she meets Aoi IRL early-game) made her out to be a lot cooler and complex than she ended up being. I mean,,, a hacker gal who’s self-serving, cynical, and cold-hearted taking on the tasks of her (potentially ex) boyfriend while being really nice to his sister to the point she baffles even herself,,, we could’ve had a really unique and cool character to play around with here but instead we got...cool-ass character with potential to be something more reduced to a spectator with nothing better to do than idolize the main protagonist and have a plot with her brother that honestly detracted from her character more than it added to it imo.

Also Ema could’ve been a female Yuri but,,, nope,,, they decided she was better as a background piece instead TwT

Favorite Villain: Yuri.

Literally Yuri.

I could choose the leather jacket w/ fluff boi in a certain series because hot damn was that guy convincing AF that he wasn’t an evil psychopath (and even while knowing that he was, I still got fooled into thinking he was a good guy somehow omg) however,,, I’ve always held a love for Yuri and the way he’s been portrayed.

Despite ALWAYS being the bad guy, the show has always made this purple fucker into the most entertaining character on-screen. He even beats Yuya sometimes in terms of how entertaining he is - that’s literally how good he is,,

Also his facial expressions are amazing, he’s a VERY VALID threat to the main cast (and his creeper levels are not only off the charts but literally called out by the main female protagonist herself lmao), and he acts as the perfect foil to Yuya, battling not to entertain others but to entertain himself.

Also, he likes killing people.

No this is not a joke.

He literally likes killing people. And is pretty sadistic about it, too.

(^^^^ for those who don’t get the joke, “Fusion” is pronounced “Yuugo” which sounds similar to “Yugo” which is what,,, Yuri is making fun of,,, more context is needed of course but this is a Great Running Gag)

Favorite card:

I don’t know if it actually exists as an actual card but...that crystal dragon from the YGO movie with the glass pyramid. Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon...it’s really pretty...I love it...

Favorite Episode:

I’m...too lazy to search for names of these episodes but I can give brief summaries of them,,, because I can’t choose,,,

Arc-V: Shun vs. Sora (ALL episodes). Hot damn if you have never watched YGO but want to try and see for yourself why people like it: WATCH THESE EPISODES. I can’t explain how amazing these episodes are and, while I admit jumping straight into them might have you missing out on some important context (such as who Shun is or why Sora’s battle tactics lead to revelation) it’s honestly an amazing fight regardless. The battle starts off plain enough - there’s obvious tension, it seems like a typical fight of a battle royale, etc. - my god does the battle ramp up in emotional tension and promptly kick you in the gut with not only how blindsided you’ve been, but it also showcases just how cruel these “entertainment duels” can really get.

Any episode with Yuri. Literally any episode he’s in. 

I think this is like...episode 8 of VRAINS...but whenever it is that Akira hires Ema to find the reason why Aoi just...straight up got knocked into a coma. Literally this is my favorite episode when it comes to Ema. The way she makes fun of Akira even while aware of his situation,,, her cruel selfishness and desire for money bubbling to the surface, the way she confesses how she can’t be trusted willingly and still asks Akira why he’s hiring her,,, god I love this episode in terms of what Ema could’ve always been.

Episode 13 (/14?) of Zexal!!! This is the episode Kaito appears and when the show REALLY picks up. Kaito is a fun bastard of a rival and tbh I don’t think I’ll ever stop getting chills of him walking in, debris frozen in time all around him, as he approaches his victim, whistling an eerie children’s tune as he gets ready to close in for the kill,,,,

Favorite Deck to Use:

I don’t...really play the game itself but...I have used a couple of decks and I guess you can say I really love Raid Raptors??? First of all, those warbirds make really fun sounds I love ‘em in the anime but they’re also just fun to use in general (even tho I used a,,, very basic deck for them,,, I love them still).

Fusion, Ritual, Synchro, XYZ, Pendulum or Link:

XYZ bc it’s really the only summoning method I’m used to lol :P. Also XYZ loyalist I guess???? 

Years in fandom: roughly five to six years iirc? I mean, I was a fan of the early day YGO and watched it as a kid but not active enough to be in the fandom for it lmao. Also not in the fandom atm because Sevens lost my attention (it’s a good show!!! I’m just unfortunately more a fan of things with serious plots and darker themes and it’s hard for me to stomach slice-of-life shows that don’t focus on a mature and engaging plot). However, Arc-V and Zexal holds a special place in my heart (as does VRAINS, begrudgingly) and so I occasionally find myself wandering back to these shows like right now,,, 

[nelllraiser]

drunken sailors | connor & nell

TIMING: before nell’s drowning via constance. PARTIES: @nelllraiser and @connorspiracy. SUMMARY: a pair of drinks for a pair of friends leads to an evening of fun. CONTENT: nsfw talk and implications.

Connor wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. Surely Nell had just been messing with him about the sex toys. It wasn’t that he was opposed. He’d been propositioned in worse ways before, but he did his best to play it cool. As if he hadn’t showered and manscaped and worn one of his nicer-than-usual outfits. Not fancy or anything, just something that wasn’t an old hoodie. He used a subtle amount of cologne that would soon be covered by the strawberry scent of his vape as he waited outside for Nell to arrive. When he saw her approach, he flashed her a little smile. “So, were you going to mention the fact it looks like a dry cleaners outside or just come here expecting to laugh at me for standing around looking lost?” 

Nell wasn’t the sort of girl who needed to be taken out or anything before having a good time between the sheets. In fact, she was generally quite the opposite. Why not just skip to the good part? Well— she supposed it wasn’t always good. But still- might as well know sooner rather than later, right? And Connor seemed nice enough. Nell was always up for fun when it came to bedroom activities, having little discretion concerning what other party was involved. Approaching the man in question, she gave him a curious once over, a prickle of uncertainty finding her as she realized he’d at least gone through some effort for the evening. It wasn’t that she hadn’t. After all, she’d donned an outfit that showed off the better parts of her assets, figuring that it would be as good an incentive for Connor as any. Something seemed...different between them. Almost as if they’d prepared for two different types of evening, though she wasn’t sure if she was entirely correct. Either way, she returned Connor’s grin, looking up at the dry cleaners in question. “What? No, I just thought we’d stop here first, right? Get our errands done and all that. Honestly, I can’t believe you’d think such a thing of me.” Even if it did sound exactly like something she would do. Nevertheless, she didn’t hesitate as the door opened, entering the bar as a heady rush of air whooshed out.

Connor shook his head with a playful little grin. Honestly, when he’d met Nell, he just wanted to see some demons, but he was starting to genuinely enjoy her company and humor. His life was so often filled with serious things; loss and tragedy and darkness, longing and despair. Nell was a little bit of levity in the sea of what-the-fuck. “Right, yeah, thought you’d make sure we’ve got clean clothes for tomorrow morning and all that,” he teased. “Give it a rest. I am a supernatural investigator you know. I asked around about the place.” He reached for the door, opening it for her. “After you.” Upon opening the door they were greeted with the sound of the jukebox playing, the soft knocking of pool balls against each other, and the casual chattering of the patrons. “Do they serve supernatural drinks here? You’ve been before, yeah? I’m excited for your recommendations.” 

A half-smirk was quick to form on Nell’s lips as Connor mentioned a morning after. Okay, maybe they were still on similar pages. That was good. “So that means you’re still on for trying out those sex toys?” she teased, not yet saying outright that she’d be taking part as well as a means of dangling the bait a bit. A playful eyeroll was quick to follow his statement about his job, though she knew he did it well based on his YouTube channel. “Sorry, should I have brought you a deerstalker hat? Are you going to demand I call you Sherlock or something now? I think Nancy Drew might fit better.” Looking around at the patrons, she felt comfortable knowing that they all were a part of a similar world. The supernatural one. Even if she was still human, she’d always felt that supernaturals were more welcoming of witches than non-powered humans were, and such a thing had been proven in her life thus far. “Of course they serve supernatural drinks. What do you usually like?” she asked with a grin. “Then I can go from there.”

“To be honest,” Connor answered, an almost embarrassed chuckle, “I wasn’t sure if you were serious or just winding me up, so I didn’t want to assume.” He gave her a small smile. “But yeah, I’m game if you are.” He shook his head with an ‘oh, fuck off’ kind of grin at her Sherlock-Nancy Drew comment. “I prefer Ryan Bergara.” If she got that reference, he might just have to snog her there and then. “Well, nothing with blood in it. Nothing that’s going to make me too pissed to stand up straight, sexy as it would be for you to carry me home,” he teased. “Most places I go are so in denial about the supernatural, they don’t even have places like this, so the choice is yours, darling.”

Nell’s amusement only grew as she watched the young man do his best to reply, eyebrow raised as she waited. “Oh, so you’re wanting me to try them out as well?” she teased, unable to pass up the opportunity to do so. Obviously she’d been propositioning him, but it was a little too fun to joke around. “Is that a solo sort of situation or were you hoping for something else?” A small laugh fell from her before she answered, “You wanna be the one that’s basically notorious for being scared half the time?” She hadn’t watched the Buzzfeed Unsolved videos religiously, but every now and then they were amusing enough. A playful tsk of her tongue, and then she was leaning forwards over the bar, trying to catch the attention of the bartender. “Alright, fine...no blood,” she affirmed before placing their order. “So where all have you been?”

“To be honest, I figured you already had.” Connor grinned at her. “An experienced and adventurous young woman like yourself.” There was something very attractive about how forward she could be without being cringy. Most people couldn’t pull that off, but she had a natural confidence and charm that he found appealing. “Not the scared part. I meant more the curiosity and ability to think outside the box. Not that much scares me, love.” It was true he had a higher threshold for getting the spooks than most people, but Nell had seen first hand that scaring him wasn’t impossible. Just throw some hellhounds at him. 

“Where have I been?” he repeated. Once they had called the bartender and Nell ordered their drinks, Connor also ordered some pretzels from the bar so he had something to munch on while they chatted. "Loads of the most haunted places in the UK. Pluckley Village, Blickling Hall, the Ancient Ram Inn, Chillingham Castle." He opened his pretzels, offering one to Nell. "Then I did Europe. Zvíkov Castle, Château de Brissac, Wolfsegg Castle. Obviously when I came to America I had to do The Stanley Hotel and the Winchester House, The Queen Mary. Loads of places. But not all haunted places are famous, too. Sometimes it's just some desperate person trying to get someone to believe them."  

A small snort found its way through Nell, and she didn’t bother to hide the amusement on her face. “You caught me. But that’s probably the nicest way someone’s ever said it,” she chuckled. The witch knew she had a healthy sex life, and she’d never thought that a bad thing. Of course, her fellow high schoolers back in the day often had different ideas- especially when you were already essentially a social pariah. “Are you sure about that?” she instantly teased, most likely taking his bait. “I seem to remember you getting a little...concerned about some very cute hellhounds.” Soon enough their drinks had arrived, and Nell was raising her’s to Connor’s in a miniature toast before taking a sip. “Did you have a favorite?” she asked, interested to hear they’d been to some of the same countries. But she knew all too well what it was like to have someone hanging onto you as if you were their last hope, and nodded along with his words. She’d found enough of those in her travels, as well. “I ended up going to some really remote places because of people like that. Some of those places were my favorites, though.”

"Alright, that's different. You sprung 'em on me, literally," Connor teased, laughing. He took another pretzel as she asked about his favourite place he'd visited. "There's this place called 'The Cage'," he snickered at the tasteless name. "Lovely, eh? It's a house in Essex that used to be a medieval jail for people accused of witchcraft. Bloody ugly as well. Painted bright yellow on the outside, looks like it's never been redecorated, chains hanging off some of the walls. But a hotspot. Really interesting activity." He leaned a bit closer to her with a smile. "You're obviously not afraid to get stuck in with the supernatural. What got you into it? You don’t just spring from the womb summoning hellhounds and corpse-uncles." 

“I warned you,” Nell insisted with a half-smirk and chuckle, having a bit too much fun prodding at Connor. This time she grabbed one of the pretzels as well, glad to be snacking on something while she listened. At the mention of taking witches prisoner, Nell hummed in discontent, her lips pressing together. “Half the time- I feel like they weren’t even real witches. Otherwise they probably would have escaped or something. Either way- what a bunch of dickwads.” Witches weren’t as prosecuted as supernaturals like shifters and fae, but they’d also been some of the most famously hunted. “I’m sure there’s a bunch of pissed off spirits there, though.” It would only make sense. His question about the supernatural caught her slightly off-guard, and she wasn’t entirely sure of an answer until it was coming out of her. “Well- I mean I was obviously raised as a witch by my family in my coven and everything. We’re all witches. I’ve known about the supernatural for as long as I can remember. Or did you mean past that?”

“Well, yeah, people accused of being witches, I should say.” Had Nell ever technically mentioned she was a witch? Connor tried to remember. He didn’t think so, but he’d sort of sussed it out from the summonings and the way she was acting now that he talked about them being locked up. “Half the time it was just people being bloody paranoid about herbal medicine or accusing someone for the sake of it.” And now she confirmed his suspicions about her being a witch. He nodded, understanding. “Whatever you fancy telling me, love,” he said casually, sipping his pint. “You seemed more interested in doing something else than talking, which I’m fine with,” he gave her a small smile. “Just thought I’d try and be something of a gentleman and have a drink with you before asking you to peg me.” 

Now that Nell thought about it, she supposed she hadn’t outrightly said she was a witch. But hopefully her nodding along to Connor’s words of witches and warlocks in her greenhouse had been enough of a confirmation for him. “Literally- just paranoid normie humans being all worried about someone who has a little more power than them.” Well- a lot more power if she was being fair. Still- the stigma around witches was alive and well in the non-supernatural community. Growing up as something of a loner and outcast because of the strange happenings around her had been proof enough of that. Soon enough, the levity of the evening had returned, and Nell was freely laughing at Connor’s phrasing. “I already told you- I’m not a girl that needs to be wined and dined,” she replied with a grin. “As for the pegging- we’ll see what sort of mood I’m in when we get out of here. Which leads me to the next question of ‘do you wanna get out of here’?”

“Wined and dined?” Connor repeated, snickering. He pulled out a packet of cigarettes from his jacket pocket along with a lighter. “What about beer, pretzels and a ciggie?” He took another sip of his drink. Whatever Nell had got him was strong. He felt a pleasant tingling sensation in his fingertips, and a little more confident than a few minutes earlier. “Well, love, since smoking in bars and pubs is prohibited in Maine, reckon we should head back to yours. But I did enjoy the drink.” He hoped he wasn’t being too presumptuous, but given the direction their conversation had already taken, he wasn’t too worried. “We’ll see where the night - and whatever toys you’ve got - takes us, yeah?” 

A light and playful eyeroll was Nell’s reaction to Connor’s words, though they’d also gotten another laugh from her. “No- a takis and cake kinda girl.” But his confirmation was all Nell needed to finish the last dregs of her drink before standing from the bar, and shooting him a knowing look. After all, she hadn’t been anything close to subtle. That was generally how she preferred it, though. No dancing around the subject or anything half as tedious. If she knew what she wanted, and they knew what they wanted- what was the point? “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Now she was headed for the door, and looking over her shoulder at Connor as she went. “I think I could handle that. I just hope you can,” she said as her last tease, ready to see where the night would lead.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: “Pomp and Circumstance”

Welcome back, welcome back. I managed to miss last week’s title/summary leak, which for any other show would have been a blessing. With RWBY though I find myself not minding---even hoping for---spoilers, just so I won’t be quite so blindsided by things when I actually watch them. It’s a topsy-turvy world.

We’ll get to that in a bit though. For now, we open on the new Amity Arena immediately flying over the Schnee dust mine. I’m talking the group has barely made it back out into the sun before Ironwood’s men are arriving and setting up base. That’s some real eagerness to get the ball rolling. Funny how Ironwood’s entire plan is doomed to failure and eight of the people helping him to complete it haven’t mentioned that yet...

We get a shot of the Ace Ops triumphantly emerging with Qrow and RWBYJNR positively geeking out over how fantastic their take-down of the geist was. It was admittedly a great battle. The best scene I think we’ve had in a while. Sadly, that charm didn’t carry over into this episode. 

As the gang gushes over how fantastic they were Clover explains that it all comes down to the makeup of their team. They were specifically chosen to compliment one another and make up for any liabilities they might bring. Forethought like this brings back the age-old question of whether Ozpin’s own teams are as random as they appear. Does he really leave it to chance, who you first run into and what relic you happen to pick? Or was he subtly pulling the strings in order to ensure that complimentary teammates ended up together? Even if they don’t realize they’re complimentary at first. Ruby and Weiss are a perfect example of that. 

It’s a question we may never have answered. Especially as the Ozpin hate just keeps piling on and on. Before that though we’re given a ton of humor. Nora, continuing her role as comic relief, slides up to Elm and asks if she needs a new best friend. Their team name could be

I’d watch it.

More pressingly though, talk of team compositions and pairing up leads to a comment from Harriet that we need to unpack. Bear with me for a moment though because there’s something else I want to tackle first. It’ll connect back in a moment. Basically, I want to address my frustration last recap that Oscar was left behind with no explanation and the assertion by others that this was a ‘show don’t tell’ moment. It wasn’t. Providing your audience with no reasoning behind a decision is not the same thing as providing a visual explanation as opposed to a verbal one. On some level the choice to leave Oscar behind functions like an argument and I see this a lot in paper writing:

Student: This ad is really sexist

Me: And...? Why?

Student: I mean it’s obvious? All the women are wearing skimpy clothes and that one guy calls her a ‘bitch.’

Me: Perhaps obvious to you, but we can’t rely on the reader picking up on the same details and interpreting them in the same way. So you need to include that as evidence. In addition, you need to consider potential counter claims. What if I said some women choose to wear skimpy clothing because they feel empowered by it and that my friends often call me a ‘bitch’ as a silly endearment? How do we undermine those arguments in the context of your ad so you can more solidly prove that it’s still sexist? 

Student: Hmm

vs. 

Yang: We didn’t bring Oscar with us

Me: And...? Why?

Yang: I mean it’s obvious? He’s not ready for this fight yet.

Me: Perhaps obvious to you, but you can’t just bank on the viewer coming to that same conclusion. You also need to consider potential counter arguments. What if I pointed out that Oscar fought just as well as you during the premiere battle and that there’s now a history of you excluding him from every event you possibly can? How do you then undermine those points to prove that a) he really isn’t ready yet and b) that you actually left him behind because of his skill and not because you’re all still pissed at Ozpin?

Yang: Hmm

That was not a ‘show don’t tell’ moment. That was no tell combined with no show. A ‘show don’t tell’ would have been Yang going, “I don’t feel so bad now that we left Oscar behind” and then cutting to Oscar training with Ironwood, showing us that he needs to improve his skills as opposed to Yang just telling us, ‘He’s not ready yet.’ But we got neither. 

I bring this up a full episode later because here, in “Pomp and Circumstance” we’re given another shining example of precisely how bad RT’s ‘show don’t tell’ skills are. The Ace Ops. What are we shown? A group that is incredibly close with one another. They’re capable of anticipating each other’s moves and are able to follow directions with little to no prompting. They’re constantly joking, teasing, goofing off in a way that implies real intimacy. Clover proclaims, “What would you do without me?” demonstrating a familiarity that allows him to exude both confidence and playfulness. They’re close enough that he needn’t maintain the persona of their boss; close enough that he can play the part of their hero without anyone taking offense. In short, they act precisely like Team RWBYJNR.

Now, what are we told by Harriet?

“We’re not friends... that’s the job. We don’t confuse the two.”

Excuse me?

There has been nothing---NOTHING---in the last two episodes to imply that this team functions solely as a work group. Based on what we’ve been shown the idea that they’re not friends is laughable. What the audience sees and what the audience is told by a character do not match up. Kind of like how we’re told throughout the entirety of Volume Six that the group is heroic when we’re shown them repeating the actions of the villains. Kind of like how Qrow tells us that Ruby is different from Ozpin even as we’re shown her making the exact same choices. Here, we’re told that the Ace Ops aren’t friends yet shown that they clearly are and this disconnect functions solely as a means of---again---highlighting how special RWBYJNR supposedly is. Because we get a long shot of how devastated that mindset makes them

and then Ruby immediately rejecting the idea that you need to maintain a purely professional relationship in order to be a good team, begging the girls to go out sightseeing with her. Later Weiss proclaims to her father that they’re not merely friends, they’re family. As nice as the sentiment is, this is just another example of how RT is trying to paint RWBYJNR, RWBY in particular, as intrinsically better than all the other fighters around them. The takeaway is that the Ace Ops might be powerful, but without friendship they’ll never be as strong as our heroes... except the Ace Ops are clearly friends. Harriet’s cold and judgmental tone---You consider yourself friends with them?---makes no sense here. This would be an entirely different situation if we were actually shown an Ace Ops team that acted indifferent towards one another and if, later on, that professionalism and lack of knowledge about each other’s temperament, skills, etc. led to a problem. Ruby comes in with a, “See? I never would have made that mistake with my team because I’ve gotten to know them both on and off the battlefield. Being friends is an asset.” But we don’t get that, so all we’re left with is a message of, ‘RWBYJNR is super special even though they’re doing nothing different from the Atlas specialists. But trust us, they’re intrinsically better.’

That message got old, oh, two volumes ago.

In addition, can we please talk about the messy pacing? The group doesn’t want to go sightseeing with Ruby because they’re exhausted. Weiss and Yang act like their traveling and near death experiences happened last night, and later Qrow’s “the finally getting to Atlas part” comment reads as recent too, but as I mentioned in the previous recap, Pietro’s comment tells us that at least a few days have passed. Realistically a few weeks. So which is it? Has enough time passed to justify Pietro creating seven distinct upgrades and apologizing for having their weapons “so long”? Or has so little time passed to justify the group talking about their trip like they still haven’t had the chance to sleep after Penny’s tour? Yes, this stuff actually matters when you’ve got a laundry list of internal conflicts and the audience wants to know how much time the group has had to grapple with them. Has it only been a few days since the Ozpin drama, or a few weeks? Did Yang and Blake murder a guy the other day or last month? We’re simply not told. 

While consistency unravels Ironwood tells Clover that he needs the Ace Ops “on the ground” being “subtle” in their investigations... so maybe don’t bring Marrow. This moment, right down to the humor, is pretty identical to Blake deciding to leave Yang behind when she went to dismantle the CTV tower. Because “Stealth’s not really your... um...” Thing. If only the writing acknowledged these failings in a non-comedy context and encouraged the characters to learn from their mistakes. Marrow might have to listen to his boss and Yang will do anything Blake asks of her, but the rest of the time? ‘You’re really bad at missions that require subtly’ is just going to piss the group off. Even though it’s true.

As the Ace Ops take off Ironwood calls over the team leaders. Which is a bit of a weird choice considering he’s not asking Jaune and Ruby to keep secrets from their teams or anything. They’re literally just going to turn around and relay that info immediately  to YWBNR. So why not just tell them all at once? Chalk it up to not wanting to animate nine characters. Basically though we learn at least part of Tyrian’s motivations here. He’s been killing off prominent figures who oppose Ironwood, including Forest, trying to make it look like Ironwood himself is killing to keep them quiet. And it’s working. More points to Ironwood for throwing out, “I’m not really concerned about my public image” when Qrow accuses him of only caring about publicity. If Ironwood is secretly a horrible dictator who really doesn’t care about his people... he’s doing a very good job of hiding it. 

He’s also super chill about Jaune talking back to him about the embargo, a sharp contrast to Jacques’ “How dare you speak to me that way!” when Weiss takes a similar tone. Like the party way back in Volume Four, Ironwood is presented as the clear hero to Jacques’ villain. He lets subordinates point out difficulties and potential mistakes he’s makings. Instead of just, you know, abusing them. 

So yeah, Jacques is a thing. He shows up pissed that Ironwood commandeered his abandoned mine, but also he’s happy because he thinks Ironwood has screwed himself now. Jacques is gunning for a seat on the council and he hopes the military taking possession of private property, not matter how grimm-infested, will help. He accuses Ironwood of roping Weiss into all this, Weiss reasserts that it was her own decision to help, and we get a lovely moment of the team supporting her. 

I’d just like to point out though, this is all proof that Weiss would have been just fine if they’d sent her to Atlas. The fandom was up in arms over that suggestion, making wild claims about how Jacques would kidnap her or something, but this scene canonically undermines all of that. Turns out Jacques didn’t have spies everywhere, waiting to scoop Weiss up the moment she landed. However long the group has been hanging out in Atlas, he had no idea she was here until she was standing right in front of him (and even then it took him a long minute to realize...) Turns out Jacques can’t just do whatever he pleases with another human being just because he’s her father. In Ironwood’s presence, which Weiss would have ended up in if she’d flown with Cordovin’s blessing, Jacques can’t touch her. Hell, he can’t do anything even if Weiss was alone.  If Weiss is willing to dump racists in the trash with her semblance I think she’s gained enough confidence to do the same to Jacques if he dares try to hit her again. The moment the fandom went, ‘They clearly HAVE to steal military property/disable a CTV tower and risk this tenuous peace because poor Weiss would be done for if they just sent her to Atlas with an armed guard and a transformed Qrow and possibly Maria in a suitcase’ I was just, ‘... What?’ That was never a good justification and this scene just reinforces that.

The one (metaphorical) blow that Jacques manages to land is by telling Weiss how distraught her mother was when she left. I wonder if there’s any truth in that or if it’s pure manipulation. 

As he leaves Winter flies in, clearly avoiding her father. Weiss gets partway through calling her out on that before Penny lands in their midst. 

From here the episode really unravels. With the surprise half ruined, Ironwood takes the group up into the arena and presents them with their huntsmen licenses. Now, full disclosure. I said I wanted this back in the premiere. In fact, my exact words were,

“I don’t think the show would ever go for my suggestion of another school arc so they could finish their training, but at the very least we should provide some sort of loop-hole for these characters. Have Ironwood provide special licenses based on their heroics at the Fall of Beacon and their work since. Because right now we have a world that’s continually emphasizing being a huntsmen as a job, something you earn the right to call yourself, yet 95% of our group doesn’t have that right in the eyes of their society.”

And I still stand by that. In as much as I’m acknowledging that so long as the writing refuses to treat the group like the students they are, taking away that status is the next best thing. However, that was written before the story decided to re-emphasize precisely how not huntsmen-like the group is. Everyone remember that? It was a week ago, wherein the group was characterized like kids playing dress up, following the adults around, acknowledging that it feels like they’re real huntresses even though they’re not, and then they witnessed a fight that put their skills and maturity to shame. A part of me honestly is glad we’re not dealing with this as a moral issue anymore. The other part of me is going, “Really? You set up how the group is still a bunch of students and then turn around and give them licenses an episode later? Can we at least be consistent?”

It’s fine though. It’s done. Yay. They all have licenses. Even though they technically didn’t do the work required to obtain them. And they’re also still at least a year, probably two years, too young to have them. Considering that schools are a four year program. It’s fine. 

The group doesn’t even seem happy to have them though. In fact, they trivialize the moment. That word exactly: “It almost feels trivial now.” I don’t think RT intends for the characterization to come across this way but man does the group sound arrogant. Wow. We’ve been given a huge amount of power and privilege when we technically haven’t earned it, have actually done quite a lot lately that should have resulted in punishments over rewards, this is entirely out of the blue, something we’ve all wanted for most of our lives... so thanks, I guess? We’re feeling kind of iffy. Ruby at least makes some sort of comment about how Ironwood doesn’t need to do this, which just lets him re-assert that they all totally deserve it. Besides, he needs all the help he can get. Remember, we’re about to tell everyone about Salem!

Obviously no one pipes up during this speech. There aren’t even shared guilty looks. They’re just... letting their lie become a part of their ascent into full-fledged huntsmen. Oh boy.

Overall this party just feels depressing as hell to me. Yes, let’s celebrate in an empty, creepy arena that’s a traumatic space for literally everyone here. Made worse by the fact that no one acknowledges this. Once again Penny functions purely as comic relief. I thought that finally, finally we would get a conversation between her and Ruby. Hey, Penny! We’re taking selfies and eating cake in the very place where you were horrifically murdered! Maybe we should talk about that? 

Nope.

Instead we get a train wreck of a conversation between Qrow and Ruby. She brings up the fact that they’re all keeping secrets... and Qrow laughs.

The hypocrisy is really astounding here. Ozpin keeps a secret and gets punched into a tree, along with Oscar. Ruby keeps a secret and Qrow looks like he wants to ruffle her hair. She asks him if she’s just like Ozpin and he responds with, “Oz only trusted himself with the whole truth. You’re trusting others, just making sure they prove themselves first. I think that’s a pretty big difference.”

Okay. That’s one hell of a messy statement, but let’s take it at face value for a moment. So tell me, Ruby. Precisely what does Ironwood have to do to “prove himself” to you? How long do you feel you need to wait? One more mission? A dozen? A few weeks? Months? ...Years? There’s no surefire way for someone to prove that they’re trustworthy and if, after that person has already shared their own secret plan with you and continually treats you as an equal---please help me in this fight, feel free to talk back to me, here’s licenses so you’re legally a part of this team---you’re still iffy about their motivations... what more can they do? You might just keep waiting and waiting for some sort of sign, putting things off because telling them is so risky and you just want to be sure. You might even reach a point where you’ve known Ironwood for ages and you still haven’t told him because, well, you haven’t gotten that proof you were looking for yet. Especially if you were, say, in a time of peace where telling him only feels like a cruelty. Especially when you’ve been betrayed so many times before and are always fighting against those memories. Your little, ‘I’m just waiting until I know I can trust him’ could theoretically go on for decades because we can never absolutely know a person. Lionheart is proof of that. Ironwood might one day look to you and say, “How can you not trust me yet?” and you might respond with, “What have you done to prove to me, without a doubt, that I should?”

I’m reusing this: 

Ruby is in precisely the same position Ozpin was with his inner circle. Including Qrow. If Ruby is unsure that a military-minded, incredibly stressed man should have this information now, despite how trustworthy he might seem, why would Ozpin have been sure of that a year earlier? Ironwood was the same military-minded, stressed, seemingly trustful guy. If Ruby felt like she couldn’t rely on Qrow mere weeks (or even days) ago because he kept refusing to stay in contact (something that was established way back at Beacon. That’s not new) and falling into drunk, pessimistic stupors, why would Ozpin feel like he could rely on him in other ways? Especially when those “other ways,” telling them about Salem’s immortality, would lead to absolutely nothing good. Seriously. Has the group suddenly come up with a plan to defeat her, proving that Ozpin was wrong not to bring more creative minds into the fray? No. Has the group fallen apart for a long stretch and has only now made noises about moving forward for the sake of moving forward, something they’d already agreed to do as huntsmen fighting immortal grimm? Yes. All telling them about Salem did was make them more depressed and stressed, the two things that draw literal monsters to their door. That’s it. Their goals and motivations are precisely the same as when they started: keep fighting. Ironwood, on the other hand, has to know about Salem because his plan hinges on her mortality. Ozpin risked nothing by keeping this secret from the group. He arguably saved them a lot of grief. Ruby, on the other hand, risks countless lives and chaos across Remnant because she’s letting Ironwood inch closer and closer to telling the whole world, all in an effort to muster up an army that will accomplish nothing. 

Ruby is Ozpin in this scenario, but her secrets carry more weight than his ever did. This isn’t a group of teens feeling morally outraged that their leader told a lie; how dare you not tell us everything when we’re risking our lives... even though we’re always risking our lives and would continue to risk our lives whether you told us or not!  This is an incredibly powerful general about to change the shape of the entire world if he doesn’t learn the truth. The stakes are nowhere near comparable. Combine that with the fact that Ruby and her friends just finished taking the high road. That’s the kicker here. That Ruby doesn’t just admit, ‘Yeah... I’m like Oz. Because he was right. You do sometimes need to keep secrets and it is hard to trust people.’ No, no, no, they have to keep demonizing him. Ruby needs reassurance that she’s nothing like that evil secret keeper... even though we can all see she 100% is. She’s arguably worse now that she wants to play the victim to Ozpin’s secret keeping while simultaneously doing the exact same thing to Ironwood. She’s arguably worse since her secrets risks far more lives than Ozpin’s ever did. Where’s the fandom’s outrage over Ruby’s manipulation? Who’s punching her? When they bring up Summer, Ruby needs to characterize her death as “another Oz secret” wherein, like the fandom, she assumes he holds responsibility before there’s any proof of that. Even when Qrow admits that Ozpin has no more idea how Summer died than he and Tai do, he rescinds it! “But who knows what he may have hidden from us over the years.” Excuse me, but you all need to stop gearing up to assign blame without evidence, especially when you all are currently committing the exact same sins Ozpin did. We’ve been doing this since Volume 5:

Yang: I just learned that my uncle is the one who kept his semblance and bird transformations secret from me, but I’m going to blame Ozpin for it and demand “no more” lies. Even though up until now he’s never lied to us.

Qrow: I just admitted that your mother’s death is her own secret, but I’m going to subtly blame Ozpin for it anyway and remind you, as well as the audience, that he could be keeping an untold number of secrets from us. Truly a horrific thing when we, too, are keeping a bunch of secrets.

It’s also just a complete OOC moment that Qrow would be laughing about Ruby keeping secrets and hugging her as he tells her to press on while likewise maintaining his suspicion of Ozpin. Because Qrow’s whole beef with Ozpin is that he’s supposedly “wasted” his life while serving him. Everything he does is worthless because of Salem’s immortality. So if he’s now (randomly?) on team, ‘Do things because they’re right even if we can’t win in the end’... why is he still upset? If he can admit now that all this work---building new CTV towers and taking up everyday missions---is still super important, then why isn’t he thanking Ozpin? ‘Oh wow. I realize now how worthwhile this work is, regardless of whether Salem can be defeated. I guess I do owe you that gratitude for allowing me to do it all in the first place.’ Is no one ever going to acknowledge that Ozpin was right? About their work and about the need to keep secrets? You all are literally adopting his views, his mindset, and his choices. But nope. Nothing. It’s just an illogical mix of ‘Everything we believe is what Ozpin taught us’ with ‘But oh yeah screw that guy.’

The only reason Qrow is all buddy-buddy with Ruby’s secret keeping is because he’s in on the secret. Objectively speaking, if Qrow had a right to know about Salem’s immortality than so does Ironwood. They were both inner circle members. They both served Ozpin for (presumably) the same amount of time. With the exception of maybe hearing about the brother gods---and even then Qrow didn’t take that story literally---they seemed to have the same level of clearance. Ironwood has done just as much to “prove” his loyalty as Qrow ever did, but he doesn’t want to admit that telling someone this kind of horrific info is just plain hard. So Qrow, like the entirety of RWBYJNR, makes it about their own status as heroes, adopting a ‘we’re totally different’ mindset. I get to know about Salem’s immortality. Ironwood though? No, no, we’re justified in keeping it from him. People just aren’t allowed to keep things from us.

It started off with Yang’s ‘How dare you keep secrets only I’m allowed to do that’ nonsense and has now spread to the entire group. We had an entire volume of people verbally and physically assaulting Ozpin in the name of his lies. Now Ruby does the exact same thing and gets hugs and praise for it. I spoke too soon last episode. The hypocrisy is unreal.

I honestly didn’t think RWBY was still capable of frustrating me to this extent, but here we are.

Oh, and so long as we’re riding this frustration train... where is Oscar? 

He was not acknowledged once in this episode, let alone invited to the party. You know, the one that he could have really easily been flown in for now that the danger is gone. The one that Winter, Penny, Marrow, Elm and Vine all make an appearance at, but not the guy they’ve been traveling with and who is way more invested in his ‘friends’ getting their licenses than some random Ace Ops members. From here on out I’m officially calling BS on anyone who tries to justify the group/the writing excluding Oscar. There was no reason not to invite him to a planned celebration specifically designed to give this team, a team he’s a part of, a bit of downtime. Sorry you didn’t get an armor upgrade, or get to go on the mission, or get to attend the after party. Everyone just kind of forgot you exist or couldn’t be bothered to explain why you’re missing. RWBY really just doesn’t like him or Ozpin and boy, does it show. 

The remaining plot is minimal. The group pulls up a mission board and Jaune gets roped into escorting school children, a mission with absolutely “no danger” in it. So if we actually get to see him completing this, you know they’ll be danger. As they continue choosing their first jobs as huntsmen we return to Jacques, brooding in his office. Whitley makes a brief appearance to announce that Watts has barged his way into the manor. We learn that everyone apparently thinks Watts is dead---that helps explain why they’re still using his code. A dead guy  isn’t much of a threat---and Watts tells Jacques that he can help him regain his lost wealth, get a seat on the council, and screw over Ironwood. Through the pretty silly line of “Have your cake and eat it too.” I like that expression, but it’s hard to make it sound sufficiently threatening...

And that’s where we end! A rough ride this week, folks. Can’t complain about the break...

Until next time. 

Minor Things of Note

Watts’ comment about how Whitley is the spitting image of Jacques makes me think of cloning. Like, I don’t think the writing would actually go there, but it’s a potentially cool option. Evil billionaire with access to fantasy technology has two rebellious daughters before finally just cloning himself a ‘son’...

Where is Maria? What is she doing? Can we please stop abandoning important characters and then having the cast acting like they ceased to exist?

[plusultratm]

NSFW Headcanons [ Drink you Sober playing in the distance ]

Waiting for promps? Not in this neighborhood, we got no chill. Rosario’s got no chill, and The Pink Lady wanting some featuring time in y’all’s dashboard, so here they are... Never mind that they’re late, they’re here. Things might be elaborated on later on, cheers.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Rosario enjoys being affectionate whenever possible; aka when she’s slept with someone she cares about, or that she feels would like it. She can usually tell through the time spent in the act, and she’ll deliver without them having to ask. If her partner falls asleep, she might feel inclined to rest by their side, help along with their slumber by running her fingers through their hair or along their sides, humming softly, and of course allow them to cuddle up to her and hold her.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

She loves her chest. She wasn’t as big of a fan when she was younger but she has come to like it a lot. Her clothes aren’t too revealing but it’s clear she knows it’s one of her best assets and she’s not embarrassed by it. In her partners she enjoys hands a lot. Had her husband, Yuudai, not had nice hands to her standards, perhaps they wouldn’t have dated, and that might seem arbitrary to some but hands tell Rosario all she needs to know about anyone who potentially hopes to enter her life.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

When I say she’ll take it, I mean she’ll take it :). Safe sex takes a priority in her life, however, so she’ll only do that within committed relationships; which... hasn’t really happened since Yuudai’s passing.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Not sure how big of a dirty secret this could be but in her relationship with her husband she was always, exclusively, the submissive half of their dynamic. Not to say she didn’t enjoy it, she did, she likes it and will more often than not choose that for herself, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to do differently... at some point.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Rosario definitely knows what she’s doing, having spent a few years married to a pro hero and having seen some more people down the line, she’s had her fair share of experience. Her marriage was certainly not a boring one, and despite the amount of work each of them had, they hardly ever spent much time apart. Yuudai and her lived to have each other on edge and she’s tried to keep that in consideration for new partners. All sex is a give and take situation, even if sometimes she people she is with don’t seem to know that themselves. She normally goes for people who are older than her.   

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary. Good ole’ missionary. For no other reason than being able to see and be seen, not to mention everything is within reach, and she very well likes feeling her partner’s weight and shape pressing her down against whatever surface they’re currently in. Similarly, she’s into the cowgirl position as well. Basically anything that makes her feel like things are deeper than they actually could be. She cheats herself most every time she sleeps with someone, unless she expresses otherwise; more than anything with friends.

Nothing like sex to strengthen the bond, eh?

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

She used to be a lot more humorous and open to goofiness when she was married. Now, however, she sees sex as a pretty serious affair. After all, the way she sees it there should be no space for anything to go wrong; this isn’t someone she’s seeing frequently, after all.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

The carpet very much matches the drapes (even the rest of her body hair has a peach tint to it ). For her own comfort she keeps the area trimmed short. She’s shaped it in the past but doesn’t feel particularly strongly about it.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

No matter whether she’s taking the dominant or the submissive role, Rosario is affectionate throughout. She enjoys feeling the other person’s closeness, so whatever is happening, she tries to make sure they don’t pull away too far from her. Rosario is either always wrapping her legs or her arms around them, making sure not to break eye or physical contact. She’s found it doesn’t feel as pleasurable if not everything from the other person is invested. Sure! It doesn’t have to carry a romantic intent, but she wants to feel wanted, since, as far as she knows, it’s what she does for whoever she’s with at the moment.

It’s a matter of her being all over them and wanting them to be all over her in return.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

She’s more likely to do it if her partner or significant other are in near proximity. She’s a huge tease, so this plays part of that as well. Big fan of the “You can watch, but you can’t touch” approach.

It’s not to say she won’t do it just for the sake of it; she will if she needs to let out some steam (which will happen, inevitably; her job isn’t the easiest), but she prefers having company over if the need arises.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Clothed sex. Dirty talking. Roughness. Possessiveness. Daddy kink. Mommy kink.

* clearing throat *

This woman is a switch, or rather she’s experimenting with it and liking it so far, in case that wasn’t clear enough already.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Number one and general answer. would be the comfort of her own home or her partner’s place. Most of the time she’s big on privacy and is only interested in sharing the moment with her current person without fearing. That being established, Rosario doesn’t really mind: Beds, walls, floors, carpets, counters, chairs, couches, sofas, she’s game for wherever she lands on.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Stress, basically. A rough hand if you will. There’s another side to it, when the itch is not as itchy, with whispering, small touches, barely caresses, being spoken to really softly, close proximity; as in when she’s somewhere talking to someone and without even noticing the space between them has closed off by how attracted they are to one another. She’s always too happy to entertain the chemistry when it feels right.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Weird positions that the other person clearly pulled out of a porno are a no. Anything she’s previously said no to being tried again are a no. Backdoor *ehem* sex is a no. Certain bodily fluids are also a no.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Both, she enjoys doing both. She’ll gladly do it for a little while, because she likes it and she wants to make sure her partner’s having a good time, not just getting herself off. She highly dislikes having someone trying to push her head down as if trying to coax he into it; she’ll do it if she feels like it, but that’s one way to ensure she won’t want to do it. Congrats, you played yourself.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Who is she with and where is she?, Can she take her time with what she’s doing until they’ve been edging themselves for God knows how long?, Has she been mad at this person, have they done something good, something bad?

What exactly went down before the do came to be to influence her decision? Hell, sometimes it might not be a conscious decision, but let’s just say she has no blatant preference. Circumstances will tell.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Heat of the moment is her preference. In any other moment, even if tension is palpable, but nothing has happened as a potential trigger, she prefers to save it for a more proper setting, if that makes sense. She’s only ever had quickies with people she couldn’t stand at first.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Her entire job and career path involves her thinking outside of the box and taking risks. Of course she’s happy to experiment in her intimate life, as well. Most of the time she’s doing stuff she’s feeling curious about, but if someone asks, and she’s in a proper enough mood, more often times than not, she’ll be game to try things out. And... if only because it feels fair and she always wants to make sure before she agrees or fully rejects something, she’ll try everything twice.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Rosario enjoys going for a few rounds, more than two, whenever possible. She won’t hold it against the person she’s with if they’re not capable.

Meeting other people taught her just how different everyone can be, so she’s not about to judge someone over something as fundamentally intimate such a sexual habits, prowess, or openness. Physical intimacy is offering oneself in the most vulnerable of ways possible, why make it unpleasant?

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Rosario has been a widow who lives all on her own for quite some time now. On top of that, she sometimes doesn’t feel like calling one of her friends or going out for that matter.

Of course this woman owns toys. Not all of them were obtained due to being a widow, however.

Back when she worked at home in her own workshop she had plenty of time to call her husband while he was on breaks... it made for an interesting part of her teasing rituals, which were extensive sometimes.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Huge tease. When her husband was still around the teasing wasn’t for an immediate thing, no, it usually lasted for days, and it usually went unnoticed by others. WHY YES, Rosario loved teasing Yuudai until the inevitable happened; which usually involved her being a brat and feigning not wanting him for a good minute before they ended... wherever they landed at the time.

As a single woman she still enjoys being a tease but the game will obviously not take as long if she’s looking for a one night stand. She has a few somewhat steady partners with whom she can play into what she enjoys the most, but she doesn’t see them often.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Rosario is usually not a loud lover; whimpers, small and contained moans, panting, little squeals of encouragement or her partner’s name will come through but no screaming or crying put from her.

Notice how I said usually.

With more out there partners that are demanding she will comply to whatever they ask of her; mainly because if she’s lucky she won’t have any other choice but to obey. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Underwear. Obvious answer, but I could’ve said she went commando 👀 .

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Rather high. Depends on several things, but it usually peaks during stressful times. She’ll deal with complaints or having to work extra hours on something she can’t figure out right away and she’ll suddenly get the pang that she needs it. As a single woman she’s had no problems getting partners to try and scratch that itch, but it’s needless to say it’s not as easy to find someone who will properly satisfy said need.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

She doesn’t immediately fall asleep, it takes a little while, about ten to fifteen minutes before she finally does. Depending on the person she might just get up, clean up and leave.

This also depends on how long they spent in the lovey dovey, but in general she’s not a fast sleeper.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Hey, could you do the whole Miscellaneous category for Juliet and Gabriel, pretty please? 💙💙

Oh sweet baby Jesus, okay.  Well this is one way to put off the void.

Is money a problem?

Not really.  They both make a decent living working for the NYPD and let’s be honest, Tony isn’t about to let his friend lose her apartment because she’s doing Avengers work.

How many cars do they own?

None.  They’re New Yorkers.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

What are they? Millionaires? They’re renting.

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?

East Coast

Do they live in the city or in the country? 

New York City and will do so until the day they die.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

It’s their home.  They can’t imagine living anywhere else.

What’s their song?

I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

If they’re away from each other it’s most likely because one of them is working.  Either Jules is on a mission with the Avengers or Gabriel is on a case.  Both try to check in with each other whenever they can, but it can be hard sometimes.

Where did they first meet?

In a hospital room. 

How did they first meet?

Jules was recovering from the energy blast when Gabriel came in to question her.  It wasn’t exactly the most romantic setting, but it all worked out in the end.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Neither honestly.  They’re both good with money.  Gabriel knows all the best street food and small markets in the city while Jules in the undisputed queen of thrift shops. That being said, Jules is more likely to spend money on something new than Gabriel if the occasion really calls for it.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

Gabriel.  He knows what he’s selling.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Jules.  She’s not proud of it.

Any mental issues?

Besides PTSD for everyone post snap? Not really.

Who’s terrified of bugs?

Jules.  She can shoot fireballs out of her hands, but she still needs Gabriel to kill the cockroach.

Who kills the spiders around the house?

Gabriel.  He’s actually quite proud of this.

Their favourite place?

The roof top of their apartment building.  It gives a great view on a clear night and a quiet place where they can just be together.

Who pays the bills?

Jules.  But, Gabriel won’t be lost if he has to do it for a few months.

Do they have any fears for their future?

For Jules she’s constantly worried about the next threat to come to Earth ever since she got her powers.  She’s worried that all she’ll be doing for the rest of her life is fight and if it’s fair to even be with Gabriel because of it.

For Gabriel it’s more a fear that he’ll lose Jules either to the next alien attack or because it will some day become too much and she’ll leave. He wants to support her and thinks what she’s doing is important, but the fear remains none the less.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Gabriel.  If Jules tried to cook they’d end up with slightly better spiced top ramen.

Who uses up all of the hot water? 

Gabriel.  The man likes his showers.

Who’s the tallest?

Gabriel by two inches.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Jules, but not in a sexy way.  More in a “you asshole I need to get to work move over so I can actually get some hot water”.

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Gabriel.  Jules goes straight for the sweat pants.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

They both do.  It becomes a competition.  The neighbors have complained multiple times.

What do they tease each other about?

Gabriel teases her constantly about how high strung she can get and how she might be a great detective, but she can also be completely clueless about personal stuff.

Jules meanwhile gets some good digs in about his almost child like sense of humor and his absolute horror of anything made with mayonnaise.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Gabriel.  Jules can find anything at a thrift shop, it doesn’t mean she should wear it.

Do they have mutual friends?

Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Beth Sharp, and Grant Holden

Who crushed first? 

Gabriel.  The guy was ready to propose within a week.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

Nope.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

Gabriel.  Jules had to quit drinking all together when she got her powers.  She already broke things when she was drunk as a regular person.  A drunk super powered Jules could take out a city block.

Who swears the most?

Neither of them swear.  Gabriel’s mom would give him a good smack on the head every time he swore and Jules just never really felt the need for it.  That being said, Jules is more likely to yell out a clear and concise “Fuck”.

Ultimate Relationship Tag

[brownskinsugarplum76]

NSFW A-Z: Robert Plant

I saw this done first by @xx-kurt-cocaine--xx . I loved your responses! It looked like a lot of fun, and I absolutely knew I had to offer my 2 cents on my lion bae. ☺️ I figured it would also be a good exercise to get me thinking about different conversations/scenarios I could write for my Robert fics. I enjoyed doing this a lot. Great idea you had! 👌🏽❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aftercare(what they’re like after sex)

*I think it's going to depend on the kind of sex. I think he'd be tender and doting after a romantic romp, or something rough: snuggling, flirting, soft voice conversation. But I could see him being energized and dragging a partner off on some sort of fun adventure after a quickie, a big ball of energy, all laughs, totally invigorated and totally capable of getting his partner to go along with whatever's on his mind.

Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partners)

*Robert is clearly very proud of little Robert Anthony and his two lemony friends. And his chest. And his hair. And his legs, with those little red shorts. Everything that he likes to show off is what he likes best.

*On a partner, I think he's going to like whatever her best asset is. I don't think he's exclusively a leg man, breast man, etc. I think women are like beautiful snowflakes to him, and he judges each one on her own merits.

Cum (anything to do with cum…basically I’m a disgusting person)

*I think he's down if the woman's down. Wherever she's comfortable with him releasing on her.

*As far as a woman squirting, our boy loves him some custard pie, in all of its stages of consumption. 😈

Dirty secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

*I think Robert would enjoy being dominated by a woman. I don't think he'd be ashamed of it, but I think it would be something he'd keep between himself and the woman.

*I think younger Robert, say, before the 90s, would not say no to a romp with an older woman.

Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

*Robert was The Sex™ in the 70s. He has a PhD in sexology without ever cracking open a book. There's a reason why there's a lyric in one of his 90s songs says "your body's talking, I swear I've heard it all before."

Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

*I think he likes all the positions. I think he'd enjoy any positon that enables him to assert dominence, show strength, or sex someone deeply. But I think he also enjoys woman on top positions--I think he relishes being under the spell of a strong woman from time to time. I think it's going to depend on his mood which position(s) he chooses for play.

Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

*Goofy during sex? I think it's possible, if he was with someone that he cared about and was in a silly mood, but I think under normal circumstances he'd be intense or passionate or tender, or some combination of those things.

Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc)

*The older Robert gets, the better his hair on his head is maintained, and certainly his facial hair nowadays. He is not one for manscaping below the neck. We know that Robert's hair is some sort of reddish medium-brown, and the hair on his head has traveled to a lot of places on the color spectrum. The carpet and drapes are frequently out of sync color-wise.

Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

*I think Robert craves Intimacy, closeness, touch, PDAs, etc. I think he can get deeply intimate anytime, anywhere. He is generally not afraid to be vulnerable, and he is capable of achieving intimacy in many ways. I once called him an hourly serial monogamist, because I feel like he's able to make deep connections quickly, with anyone, and I think he can bring that level of passion and intensity to any physical dalliance if he wants to. I'm sure he's had anonymous, impersonal sex, but I think forging a connection--no matter how short-lived--is something he enjoys as much as the physical activity.

Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

*Robert has a virtually unlimited supply of partners, but I think there were times when he pleasured himself. Like, I could see a morning orgasm being like a cup of coffee for him if he happened to be by himself. And we know poor Bonzo was subjected to a pre-Zeppelin incident. 😬

Kink (One or more of their kinks)

*I think exhibitionism and voyeurism would be normal. I also think light dom/sub stuff--Robert giving or receiving.

Location (Favourite places to do the do)

*Uh, wherever the mood strikes. Really. 😈 But I do think he would enjoy being outdoors. I fantasize about him being nude on his property. 🥰🥰🥰 I also love the idea of pool sex or shower sex.

Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

*An emotionally/intellectually willing partner who strikes his fancy. I think he would enjoy someone with whom he can have some flirtatious mental sparring. I think he enjoys being physically seductive, but I think he would highly value someone who builds attraction and tension with words. From a physical standpoint, I think he's more attracted to women who don't try too hard, natural beauties, women with quiet confidence. We know he has a type, but I think he could be captivated by just about any woman, if the vibes are right.

NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

*Animals or anything that is excessively harmful. He's a lover, not a punisher. I think narrow-minded women would also be a turn-off. Definitely narrow-minded or prudish sexually, but also narrow-minded in non-sexual ways. I feel like he'd be less likely to engage someone whose worldview is limited/exclusive/negative.

Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

*Loves giving and receiving. A lot.

*Very good at giving; he adjusts his approach to whatever is turning on an individual woman. He's not going to stop until she's a complete, trembling, wet mess of nerves. And he might just keep going after that, to take her to new heights of pleasure, as much as to turn himself on by turning her on.

*When it comes to receiving, I think he would really enjoy losing himself in the woman's actions. I think he would immensely enjoy being deep throated, but I don't think he's going to expect every woman to be able to do it. I think he'd be most likely to let the woman lead the action, until he closes in on his climax. Then, he might be more likely to more forcefully hold her head in place or try to control her action.

Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

*I like to think he's slow and sensual and then builds up to fast and rough, although I think that would change with mood/context. I'm sure he'd go for just the fast and rough immediately after a concert. And just slow and sensual would be appealing when he returns home after a tour.

Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

*I think they'd be fairly common during a tour and less common at home. I think he'd place value on quickies for concert logistics and/or to "let off steam" immediately after a concert, or when curiosity about a new partner gets the best of him.

Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

*Certainly up to the risks of public sex. Up to the risk of physically changing positions. Up to sleeping with the partner of someone he knows? I don't think we can rule that out. 👀😒🤫 I don't think seducing a woman in the first place, putting himself out there, is any kind of risk that would stress him out. I do think he would be less likely to engage a risky person--a criminal or someone else who functions outside of positive society norms--he's not one for drama or bad vibes.

Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

*How many do you want? How many do you need? He's your man, unless he's super extra intoxicated or in an emotional funk.

Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

*I'm sure he's used toys, but I don't think it's a regular occurrence. I think he'd be most likely to use toys from time to time with someone with whom he has a serious relationship, to spice things up here and there.

Unfair (How much they like to tease)

*Robert is an evil, teasing bastard when he wants to be. Teasing with words, teasing with touch and kisses, with dat Plantaconda… Again, I think it strokes his ego but also stokes the enjoyment of his partner. It's not for the sake of asserting control or anything just what he thinks is best for everyone's pleasure.

Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

*LOUD unless he has laryngitis or something. 😂😂😂 Although I think older Robert wouldn't feel the need to be a loud to express his enjoyment. I think he would LOVE for his partner to be loud.

*As far as sounds, choose from the menu of the LZ discography. 😉😈😁

Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

*I like to think Robert at least made out with a guy at least once in the 70s. We know he kissed Peter Grant, Michael Des Barres, Phil Collins… Why not? A lot of men experimented then, and I think it's plausible that Robert did, too.

X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

*Don't need an X-Ray for that. You can see it from aerial shot photos. You can damn near see it from outer space. I can't see the big E on the eye chart well without glasses, but I know I could make out that Legendary Ample Manhood™ without difficulty if someone snatched my glasses. 🤷🏽‍♀️😉

Yearning (How high is their sex drive?

*Very high. Well above average. He's gonna want it. He's gonna get it. And he won't have to beg.

ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

*I think he'd trail off pretty quickly. I think he'd put a lot of energy into it and it would eventually wear him out after a few times. I think he probably was also just generally tired in the 70s, after the drugs and adrenaline of performing wore off.

What do you all think?