#her so they wont lose all links to her in the hopes theyll reconnect eventually which she is technically open to
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Just gonna vent in the tags don't mind me
#its so fun realising your family dynamic illustrates perfectly why you hate being attached to real ppl#like my sister has gone no contact with my parents and lives far away from me but bc she still wants a relationship with me my parents are#desperate for me to stay in contact wktn#her so they wont lose all links to her in the hopes theyll reconnect eventually which she is technically open to#but its hard watching my parents be so hurt by her actions and knowing we have never been particularly close and thet my mom is the sole#reason we ever spent time together one on one so to feel all this pressure to maintain my relationship with her when im going through#my own shit and feeling so much anger at all the ways she let me down and how she's hurting our parents#its so hard bc its making me realize how much i put everyone else in front of me tl the point that i start resenting other ppl#for asking me to enjoy spending time with them or letting them stay with me bc it feels like im getting nothing in return#and thats why i dont like having family and struggle with friendships bc i start resenting ppl just bc i feel obligated to do all of this#shit for ppl without getting much in return. like i dont FEEL closer or better for having done so and i know it makes me sound selfish#but damnit im done living my life for other ppl. i wanna live it for myself or be gone
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