#her hypochondria may very well kill me from stressing me out so much my entire life

[scum-belina]

Last week was horrible, and I got through it by the skin of my teeth honestly. I really, really hope somehow this week will be better. We wont get to see my dad again until either this Wednesday or Thursday, bc my granny is claiming she doesn't have the gas money to take us to see him sooner, but we know this isn't true and she just doesn't feel like taking us to see him and is just using my dad’s truck for her own purposes in the meantime. It makes me sick. We’ve STILL not heard a thing about my dad’s court thing to finally get disability either. The last I heard was from two weeks ago and the lawyers just reassured us that they were on it, and that the court would make a decision to approve him or not this October.

Well there’s only 9 more days left in this October, so they better hurry up. Idk it all just makes me very uneasy. Everyone in my family keeps crying about how desperately we need him to get disability bc money and I GET IT but holy shit they make it sound like if they don't approve him again we’re just fucking doomed, and to my severely depressed, anxious, suicidal self that’s really hard not to get terrified about. Like I’m trying so hard to be patient and work on any steps I can make in recovery of my mental health, but my family makes it feel like I’m doomed all the time, yet get angry at me when I tell them I’m struggling and feel hopeless lmao I’m exhausted. 

wish I had a more happy life update but happy just aint happened lately lol. But despite all of this I’m still holding on and trying to do what I think is best for me. Down but not out!!! (ง •̀ゝ•́)ง