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wildernessuntothemselves · 6 years ago

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Oppa Knows Best | Part 5

Word Count: 8k Genre: Smut, Angst Summary: If there is anything a lot of people can agree on when it comes to college, it’s that college is about much more than just education; it’s a whole transformative experience. The person you were before college is not the same person you will be after college, and no one knows the truth of that statement quite like you do. You just didn’t expect to change so much so fast. Chapter Plot: Still she tries to hold onto the comfort of denial, her eyes tearing up as she shakes her head, “But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would I do that?” “You were scared. You always were. A/N: this chapter would’ve probably came out soooo much later if it wasn’t for the help of @nctforuandme who proofread and reviewed this for me. She’s an angel. She my oxygen *wink wink* Warnings: This story contains a very unbalanced power dynamic between the two main characters that is unhealthy and shouldn’t be tolerated irl. If someone treats you this way irl please run. This is a fictional story and the plot is basically just a vehicle for the smut. Contains slutshaming and controlling behavior. Also the dirty talk is painfully corny and pornolike so be warned lol. Oppa kink if it wasn’t obvious. The previous parts and the rest of my masterlist are in my bio suck my dick tumblr

N.B. memories are written in italics so pay attention bec things jump from present to past a lot

The words shimmer and bend in front of my eyes. Every time I feel like I’m closing in on them, they just evaporate and I go back to square one.

I sigh, closing the textbook and resigning myself to the fact that I wasn’t going to be able to get any studying done right now, not when I was so utterly cut off from my lifeline. You can’t expect a human to perform any kind of higher cognition when their most basic of needs is unmet. For me, being so severed from ___ is like being dumped on a foreign planet with low oxygen and being expected to survive somehow.

I need her to breathe, but she’s not here. She wants space. She wants control. I get that, I really do. But it went against everything I am to grant her that wish. Not because I like controlling her like she says, but because I just worry so much. I need to be beside her all the time to make sure she’s all right. Yes, we were separated for a year before she joined me here, but that was the extreme extent of my capacity, and even then we would talk all the time, sharing every little aspect of our lives to each other so that the distance wouldn’t become too painful and that I could always be sure that she’s alright every second of every day. How can she expect me to live like this—to have her right under my nose but be forbidden to be with her?

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. This isn’t how I imagined our college years would be like. We were supposed to be in this together, exploring this new world together. But now she’s left me here to die a slow death as my body slowly starves for oxygen.

You want to know the worst part? None of this is even on her mind. She’s off to the stars to explore other planets while I lie here hoping, praying, for my angel to come back and breathe life into me before it’s too late. I call out to her but she doesn’t hear me, my voice getting lost in the vacuum of mistrust and misunderstandings that separate us. Anything that reaches her is far too distorted to bear any resemblance to what it originally was, and she—dazzled by her newfound freedom that she hasn’t tempered yet—will not stay and allow me to explain myself. She’d just hop off to another galaxy and leave me behind in the cosmic dust.

But if that were to happen, would the universe not just cease to exist? Can it fathom the destruction of one of its fundamental facts? ___ belongs with me and I belong with her. If we got severed from each other wouldn’t that rip the very fabric of the universe apart? Does she not feel the chasm forming between us already? It’s getting bigger and bigger every day, stretched out more the farther she gets away from me. I fear that one day it would be big enough to swallow me whole; I would cease to exist. My entire existence erased from the universe and my angel would soon forget about me and love another as if I never was.

How did I manage to fuck up so bad?

I knew better than to push her too much. I knew what she is like. I knew that if I push, she’s going to pull away. I’ve seen the chasm before and I’ve been so careful to keep it contained. But I got lenient and I got greedy. I thought that, for once, when I pushed she wouldn’t pull away, that I could finally close the chasm between us once and for all. Instead, I blew it wide open.

It ate away at me, that after all this time I could lose her like that. It also made me hate her a little bit. God, it feels blasphemous to say it but I really hate her sometimes. I hate that she made me love no one but her. I hate that she loves another. But most of all, I hate her for forgetting her promise.

“It’s not true, oppa!” Exclaims the little girl, the younger of the two children that were huddled together, but the boy only cries harder in response, burying his face in her chest as his tears and snot soak up the fabric. He feels embarrassed for crying in front of her. He’s supposed to be the one taking care of her, but here he is showing her how weak he really is. She’ll know he can’t protect her and then she’ll leave him too. He’s so useless.

“Stop it, Jaehyun. Stop it!” She scolds him firmly, cupping his face in her hands and holding his gaze determinedly, willing him to listen to her. She looks displeased, a little crease formed between her eyebrows and a pout prominent on her lips. He would’ve normally found that so adorable but now it scared the life out of him. He tries to get it together for her but he’s ashamed by how long that takes.

She waits until little hiccups and dry beds that were once rivers of tears are the only remnants of his breakdown. Finally, her gaze softens, but the determination stays the same. “It’s not true. That mean man doesn’t know anything.” She refuses to acknowledge the man’s blood tie to Jaehyun, for he is not worthy of being called his father.

“You’re not a waste of space. You’re so important. Everyone loves you. Grandma loves you. Mum loves you. Your friends love you. Everyone loves you, oppa. ”

“Do you love me?” He asks, the tears in his eyes walled up behind a dam of hopefulness, threatening to break loose and drown him at her command.

“Of course!” Just like that, they evaporate, dried off by the heat and radiance that is her love and acceptance, leaving only the seeds of belief in a gentler fate behind.

“Promise that you’ll never leave me.” He holds onto her, his sun, the reason he endures the long night just for a chance to see her shine all the brighter.

“I promise.”

My throat closes up with the ghosts of long dead memories. No, my angel hasn’t forgotten. She can’t. Right?

Tears I wasn’t even aware were there get dislodged out of my eyes when I jump at the startling sound of the front door slamming shut. Furiously, I wipe away at them in the hopes of hiding them from her sight.

She marches into the room, a menacing cloud hanging over her head. Chucking her bag carelessly to the floor, she turns to face me, arms crossed over her chest, and announces, “So I met Mark today.”

“Mark…who?” I croak, the lump in my throat obstructing the sound but she doesn’t notice.

“Mark fucking Lee, Jae.” She retorts, exasperated.

“Ok, and…?”

My continued cluelessness seems to rile her up more, but I genuinely didn’t understand why meeting our old schoolmate would make her so mad. “Did he tell you something that upset you?”

She chuckles at that, “Oh, he did alright. He told me some really interesting stuff about you back in high school.”

I immediately pale. I have no idea what Mark could’ve possibly told her that made her so upset. We weren’t that close back in high school so he couldn’t have known that much about me, but her glaring anger makes me doubt myself. Did he somehow know something he shouldn’t have? If so, I should probably stay quiet just in case. It wouldn’t do to implicate myself in something she might not even know.

“He told me all about what happened with Sicheng.” She sneers, unhappy about my silence, but when my face crumbles at the revelation, she continues more confidently, taunting almost, “He told me that you cut Sicheng off because he had a crush on me and that you warned him never to try to get close to me or you’ll hurt him.”

Wait, what?

“What are you talking about?” I ask slowly, feeling like I’d suffered a stroke. That would be the only logical explanation for the nonsense I was hearing. “Sicheng never had a crush on you. What the hell is Mark trying to start?”

“Of course you’d say that. It’s not like I expect you to admit that you’ve always been so possessive of me that you never let anyone come near me.”

I can’t help but laugh at that, which only leaves her even more flustered, her face getting as red as a tomato from the combined effect of anger and indignation. It’s just so fucking ironic that she’s the one who’s calling me out for acting possessively. Does she even possess any hint of self-awareness? Probably not. If she did, she wouldn’t be acting so self-righteous right now.

“What’s so funny?” She sniffs, offended.

Knowing that she wouldn’t believe anything from me right now, I decide to deflect instead, reprimanding her, “And you believe the words of someone who is at best an acquaintance over your own oppa?”

Abashed, she sputters, “What would Mark gain from lying?”

“Nothing! He’s just running his mouth. People love to gossip about shit they know nothing about.”

“Well, you know everything, oppa. Why don’t you tell me what really happened with Sicheng?” She tries really hard to seem challenging, to goad me into answering, but I see the anxious expectancy cowering in her eyes behind all the defensiveness and accusations. Deep down, she wants to be wrong about this—and that, more than anything, makes me want to confess to it all, to come clean with all the feelings and thoughts I’ve been holding onto all these years, to lay them all and myself at her feet in the hopes that she’d take me by the hand and raise me back up again.

It’s an admirable thought, but I know that, more likely than not, she’d just freak out like last time and leave me crumpled on the floor.

The weight on my shoulders suddenly feels all the heavier as the cynicism presses down on my weary body. “Nothing happened. Friends drift apart from each other all the time.”

“But you didn’t drift off, it was a big fight, and Mark says it was about me.”

“Screw Mark! He wasn’t there with us that night.”

“What night? The school dance? Mark said that’s when you found out Sicheng likes me.”

I laugh bitterly. So not only does she not remember anything about that night but she thinks it’s about Sicheng liking her? This is all his fucking fault. He almost lost me my angel that night and now, years later, that same threat is still hanging over my head.

“That’s the night I found out Sicheng doesn’t give a fuck about friendship.”

“Because he wanted to have what’s yours?” She accuses haughtily, likely thinking she’s exposed my grand plan; it makes me see red. “No, it’s not fucking about that. Sicheng was never interested in you. You could’ve passed out and died in front of him that night for all he cared. You were nothing to him.”

Not expecting the bluntness of my answer, she recoils like a frightened baby. All at once, her shoulders hunch, her face scrunches, and her eyes tear up. An intense protective instinct gets triggered inside me, and I ache to rush over and scoop her up in my arms, cover her in kisses and apologize for making her feel small, praise every little thing about her until she’s convinced she’s the most beautiful woman in the universe. But I can’t, I know she won’t accept me.

I sigh, rubbing my hand over my face. “Look, Sicheng wasn’t a good friend. He did whatever he wanted without care for how it would affect his supposed friends. That’s why I had a falling out with him. He took it too far that night.”

“What did he do?” She asks in a small voice, looking away and fiddling with her fingers, the nervousness rolling off of her in waves. She needed any sign of safety to latch onto, and I needed to give her that.

I weigh my options. If I tell her why I had a falling out with Sicheng, I risk her remembering the rest of that night and making things even worse, but if I don’t tell her then that would be proof of my guilt in her eyes and she probably won’t trust me again after that.

The choice was obvious.

“He got you drunk.”

She whips her head towards me, eyes wide open in shock, clearly not expecting that answer. “We got separated for a bit that night, and you went and got alcohol from him. You got so piss-drunk, I had to carry you home. The next morning, you were throwing up so much you were crying.”

I watch as her pupils flit back and forth inside her eyes like a caged animal as she tries to make sense of what I was saying and contrasting it with what little she remembers from that night.

“That’s why you don’t remember that night, and why I hate having you out of my sight.”

Her flitting gaze comes to an abrupt stop as realization washes over her face at a sudden recollection. “Oh, I remember now. I nagged him for drinks because…” She trails off, eyes snapping to mine, wide and guilty. “Yeah, I remember.”

Everything slows down for a moment, like we were submerged under liquid metal, and I ask her carefully, petrified at the possible answer. “What exactly do you remember?”

“Not much,” She runs a hand through her hair nervously and avoids eye contact. “Just that I wanted to try it and he gave me some and it kinda got out of my control.”

I knew she was lying. She obviously remembered more than she let on, but judging by her sheepish expression, I can assume that it’s not much. She probably only remembers the part about catching me with Miyeon and getting so upset about it that she decided to get the drinks from Sicheng, but not what happened after.

Deciding not to pry any further to avoid triggering any more recollection of the night from her, I put an end to this conversation. “See? I told you it wasn’t about a silly crush. Do you really think I’m that unreasonable?”

She shakes her head but it’s clear that’s exactly what she thought. Sighing in disappointment, I feel my body deflate as the fight leaves my body. “You don’t believe in me anymore, do you?”

“I-It’s just… things are different now.” I see a lot of emotions brimming behind her pupils, but one in particular jolts me; pity. It’s as if she’s given up on me already, watching me from behind a glass partition as I struggle through my very last moments. She has a life outside of me now. She’ll move on. But to me, she’s my life, and I don’t want to move on from her. I don’t want to live without her. What would be the point in that when she’s the reason I’m even here right now?

I nod stiffly, and turn away from her, walking towards my room. She doesn’t try to stop me.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

The pain that surges through my veins like molten lava has burned off all the nerve endings in its path so that I’m left feeling nothing but numb and empty. It’s like I’m experiencing sleep paralysis, only I can’t wake up and escape the horror, for it lives in my very own world.

I hear her tinkering around in her room, no doubt prettying herself up for him, for their date—putting a little bit of lipstick here, spraying a little perfume there. I’m sure she looks as bewitching as a siren, a vision to behold. I wish that was true; that the danger lied within her so I can meet my end in her arms. Instead, it’s being severed from her that is to be my death.

I hear the door to her bedroom opening, and—like an enchanting song—her heels click rhythmically on the floor as she walks over to me, my breath already getting stolen from me before I even gazed up at her.

As if in a trance, I barely register standing up and taking her in my arms. She wasn’t dressed particularly luxurious; all she had on was a simple floral dress with a dainty pearl headband crowning her sheared hair, but, to me, she looked enchanting. This… this is exactly how she always looked in my fantasies; pink lips mirroring the light blush on her cheeks and shy eyes stealing glances at mine as I hold her so close in my arms we could be considered one and give her a last kiss before we head on our first date, the first step to a lifelong romance.

“You look…”

Her expectant look, again so reminiscent of my fantasies, suddenly turns to disappointment as soon as I speak, and I find myself reeling from the whiplash of realization that this wasn’t a fantasy. It’s real life and it’s worse than my worst nightmares.

“I know you don’t like it, oppa.” She sighs, trying to pull away.

“No, I do!” I quickly interject, holding onto her. She gives me an unbelieving look so I explain, “It grew on me.” “Besides, you’d be beautiful even if you were bald.” I attempt to joke, but she just frowns at me, not even allowing a little chuckle to humor me. She can’t control everything though; I can clearly see the pretty blush on her face deepening and I can’t help myself from wanting to pretend just a little longer. So I cup her cheek tenderly and lean in, whispering, “So beautiful, my angel.”

And kiss her.

She places her hands on my chest, and for an agonizing second I don’t know if she’ll pull me closer or push me away. I’m so afraid. My heart is jumping around in my chest, bouncing against my rib cage as if it’s trying to fight its way to its rightful place between her hands.

But then she lets out the softest moan and opens her mouth, urging me to deepen the kiss as her hands clutch at my shirt. At her silent command, I push my tongue into her mouth and she welcomes me gladly. Our tongues meet in gentle touches, as if afraid to disturb the moment.

When I pull back, she follows, kissing me urgently, her wet lips smothering mine. My hands roam all over her body, feeling every curve underneath the delicate, woven fabric. Trailing down, I grip her ass tightly and pull her flush against my body, startling a whimper out of her as my hard dick presses against her stomach. My mouth leaves hers and travels along her jaw, giving her the softest of kisses so they wouldn’t leave marks on her flawless skin, but that just makes her needier, as if I was intentionally teasing her by the barely-there touches.

Her fingers curl in the hair at the nape of my neck and tug as she whines, “Oppa…”

One of my hands climbs up her body towards her chest as I pull back and look down at her with a heavy-lidded look that matches the need in her eyes. “One last time, angel?”

She gasps as I knead her breast, and nods hastily. “Yes, please.”

She shivers when I pull away from her, depriving her of my body heat. A pout was already forming on her face, but it stops halfway as she sees me fall down to my knees. Taking a hold of the hem of her dress, I trail it up her legs to her waist, and ask sweetly, “Will you hold this for me, angel?”

“Ok.” She whispers meekly, and clutches onto the dress as she bites her lip and looks down at me in anticipation.

I pull her panties down and out of the way before grabbing the back of her thigh and tugging it forward and up so it can rest on my shoulder, making her pretty pussy all the more accessible to my eager mouth. I don’t waste time, burying my face between her legs at once.

When my tongue touches her slit, her body spasms in a shock of pleasure and she almost loses her footing, but I hold her tight, one hand on her ass and the other around her waist as I start eating her out. My tongue laps around her clit, every once in a while pressing directly against it and eliciting a shiver from her.

Her fingers were buried in my hair, pulling at the roots with every moan that escaped her mouth. I look up to find her watching me, but as soon as our eyes meet, hers roll to the back of her head as she cries out.

Even from my very restricted vantage point, she looked stunning. I wanted to have her like this forever—struggling to hold herself up as she moans so sweetly for me.

“Oppa… feels so good.”

I move my tongue up and down her slit, teasing her entrance with every swipe until she’s begging for more. “More, please, more!”

So I push my tongue inside, fucking her with it. She keens at the added pleasure, her fingernails scratching my scalp as she tugs harder on my hair. I can tell it feels good for her, but it’s still not enough.

“Do you want my fingers, angel?”

“Yes!” She cries, getting desperate.

Who am I to not give my angel what she wants?

As soon as I push my fingers inside her, she loses any little bit of control left. I pull back to soak up the sight of her writhing on my finger, trying to reach her release.

Suddenly, she looks down at me, her gaze needy but resolute. I don’t have to think about the reason for it too much as she soon pushes me between her legs again, exerting pressure on the back of my head to keep me there. I don’t even try to fight her; we both wanted the same thing, her pleasure. It only takes a couple of flicks of my tongue against her clit as I continue pumping my fingers rapidly into her to have her coming.

As she’s going down from her high, I pull my fingers out, but keep licking her gently, both to carry her to her baseline gently and also to clean her up. When she’s completely settled, I put her panties back in place and stand up, taking in her look and straightening out anything that’s out of place.

She looks even more beautiful now, disheveled and flustered but so blissful and so, so lovely, and all for me. It makes my hurt swell up almost to the bursting point.

When I feel her hands on me, coyly inching their way to hardness between my legs, I quickly grab a hold of them, stopping her. “No, it’s ok.”

Flinching back, she regards me with betrayal, no doubt thinking back on the time I used to reject her advances. She must be feeling embarrassed and undesirable, which isn’t my intention at all so I try to explain, “It’s not that I don’t want you. I just don’t want you to be late to your date.”

This catches her off-guard; she definitely wasn’t thinking that I would care about her getting to her date on time. If anything, she must think that I want her to cancel it altogether. Which wouldn’t be too far off from the truth... but I know that if I interfere and ruin her date, it would only make her want to distance herself from me even more.

With hardening features, she jeers, “Whatever, you just wasted your last time with me. Only Jaemin will get to fuck me from now on.”

It’s exactly those words, the ones she intended to hurt me with, that prove my suspicions to me; she’s hurt because she wants me, and she’s trying to goad me because she knows I want her too. She just doesn’t want to take any responsibility for it, ever the scared little girl she always was, trying to shift the blame onto someone else so she wouldn’t have to face her own emotions.

That will change though. I will make sure of it, but not right now. Now, I let her go.

For the last time, I let her go.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

I needed a way to force ___ to face her feelings for me. I needed something that would expose her in her own eyes and make sure she can’t go back to living in denial.

I go over our history together, thinking back to when ___ came the closest to revealing her true feelings for me, and that’s when I remember Miyeon. ___ was the most out of control, the most genuine, when I was dating Miyeon because she felt threatened by her.

I’ve always taken care to prevent that from happening again; always steered clear of getting close to another woman because I didn’t want to hurt my angel. I thought that if I just remained patient, she would come to me eventually.

Fucking delusional. The reality is that if ___ never feels like another woman can replace her, she will never make a move. Why would she when I’m always so available for her? Always giving her every bit of love and attention she demands and always putting her first?

A drastic change was in order, and I believe I knew just the way to bring it about.

Soojin, that’s her name. She fit the role perfectly. For one, she is ___’s friend, meaning that the news of me asking her out would reach ___ right away. Second, she’s—shall I say—promiscuous which would give ___ the incentive to oppose our relationship. And finally, she’s extremely forward, always going after what she wants and not quitting until she gets it; it would drive my angel insane and get her thinking that she might lose me if she doesn’t act quick.

Once I let Soojin know I was interested, the whole plan sprinted in motion. She was already interested in me, a fact I knew for some time but ignored because I didn’t want to hurt my angel. How dumb of me.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

Before Soojin and I even had the chance to go on our first date, ___ knew about it.

“Soojin? Really, oppa?” She asks derisively, just as haughty as I remembered her being about Miyeon before.

“What’s wrong with Soojin?” I pretend to be oblivious. She was too ticked off to know better anyway.

“She’s not your type at all!” She stomps childishly. It was funny seeing her like this when she’s been trying so hard lately to act mature and rational—trying to distance herself from who she was and all the negative things she associates with me, and yet, just the simple idea of me dating someone else got her to revert back to the dependent, possessive little girl she’s been trying so hard to forget about.

“What do you know about my type? I have never dated before.” Because of you, is what I leave unsaid.

Getting put on the spot, she turns red and sputters, “I don’t know but it’s not her!”

“Hmm,” I cock my head to the side and stare her down, making her fidget under my piercing gaze. “Why are you so upset by this?”

“I’m not!” She immediately gets defensive, “You know what? Do what you want. I don’t care.”

She spins on her heel and walks away, mumbling to herself angrily, and I smile, knowing that my plan was bound to be a success.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

On the second date, she asks, “Are you doing this to punish me for dating Jaemin?”

“No.” I reply, perhaps a bit too bitterly for she flinches back a little. “Is me dating someone this upsetting for you that you think I’m doing it as revenge?”

“It’s not upsetting! I just--” She struggles with her words then promptly gives up. “Ugh, whatever.”

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

On the third date, she asks, “You know she’s just trying to get in your pants, right?”

I roll my eyes, trying to look like I find her claim ridiculous. “How do you know?”

“Because she tells me everything!”

I already knew that, of course. That’s precisely why I picked her.

“She tells me every disgusting detail that goes through her perverted mind about what she wants to do to you and what she wants you to do to her. It’s sickening.”

“It’s natural. She finds me sexually attractive, that normal thing to feel towards your boyfriend.” She recoils in disgust at the word boyfriend, and I struggle to hold back my chuckle at how obvious she’s being.

“I won’t have sex with her though, not any time soon. That was our agreement, wasn’t it angel? Date someone long-term before having sex with them?” I act patient, just how an oppa explaining the ways of the world to his little angel is supposed to act.

“Bullshit! She probably sucked your dick under the table on the first date already.”

“She didn’t.” I reply curtly. I don’t even need to say much, she was working herself up enough on her own. I just give her a slight push. “Don’t you think you’re getting too upset over nothing?”

“Stop saying that I’m upset. I’m not upset! You just can’t convince me that Soojin is the girl you want to settle down with. It’s unbelievable!”

I shrug, completely disregarding her ongoing breakdown. “It doesn’t matter if you believe it or not, angel.” But I know you do.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

On the fourth date, she declares, “She’s just going to use you and then dump you the minute she gets bored of you. I hope you know that.”

I sigh in exasperation, “I’m not a child, angel. I can handle myself.”

“You clearly can’t if you’re falling for her act!”

“I realize you’re having a hard time getting used to another girl being in my life, and I understand that it can be upsetting but this is no way to deal with it.”

“I’m not upset!” She cries out in frustration. It is cute how heated she was getting over this, and it feels so goddamn nice to finally feel wanted by her.

She looks around helplessly, and I know that whatever she’s about to say isn’t easy for her.

“Just why her?” She asks in a small voice, vulnerable and silently pleading for me not to take advantage of it.

But I must. I must hurt her. She left me no other choice.

“I like her.”

When she doesn’t say anything back, I know I finally broke her. •❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

Before the fifth date, she makes her move.

Foregoing where she was standing—leaning on the door frame and watching me get ready—she saunters over and wraps her arms around my neck, pressing her body to mine and leaning her face just an inch away from mine.

“What are you doing, angel?” I warn as her hands slowly travel down my chest to toy with the waistband of my pants.

“Are you feeling needy? Is that it?” She stares at me demurely, but her hand is anything but. It slips down to palm me through my pants, and I struggle to remain in control. “I can take care of you. Would you like that, oppa?”

It’s what I was expecting—what I was waiting for, really—but it still shocks me just like it did last time. Her offering herself up to me so I wouldn’t go to another woman is still so jarring, if not aggravating. Why does it have to go that far for her to come to me?

“Am I not enough for you?” She snivels, rubbing at her feet angrily, trying to ease the pain her the high heels had caused but only ending up making it hurt more.

I sit down on the chair opposite her bed and pull her legs over my lap, gently massaging the balls of her feet as I try to find the right words to explain myself, ashamed at having let my angel witness me being so subservient to my physical needs, so human. “Of course, you’re enough, angel. It’s just… oppa has needs that you can’t satisfy…”

I don’t think much of it when her feet start moving in my lap, but when I feel one of them press against my crotch, I jump in surprise, unintentionally bucking against it and sending a jolt of pleasure through my body. She sneers as she watches the effect she has on me. “Oh, I know exactly what needs those are.”

Using the heel of her foot, she rubs against my clothed cock. “Who says I can’t satisfy them? Would you like me to do that, oppa?”

“Yes, please” I breathe out, leaning my head on hers. She slips her hand into my pants and grabs the base of my cock but stops there. “Say it. Say you’re dating her just to get your dick wet.”

“I’m not.” My forehead nuzzles against hers as I shake my head.

“Don’t lie to me.” She squeezes my dick a little too hard, making me almost double over, and I choke out, “I’m not! I haven’t fucked anyone else since I’ve had you.”

Pleased by my answer, she loosens her grip on my dick and starts stroking me slowly. “But do you want to? Do you want to fuck her?”

I purposefully stay silent, knowing it would rile her up even more. Just like I thought, she scowls and strokes me faster while her other hand goes up to pull on my hair sharply. “Tell me, oppa. Did you want to fuck my friend? You’re lusting after your little angel’s friends? That’s so sleazy. Aren’t I enough for you that you just have to fuck through my friends too?”

“Look at you, rubbing against my foot like that. Pathetic.” She slurs out in disgust.

“I know. I��m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I shrivel up with guilt. Still, I can’t help the needy moans that escape me, nor can I help the hand that shoots out to wrap around her ankle to steady it so I can grind easier against her foot.

“What am I going to do with you?” She muses.

“Help me.” I plead, leaning into her touch, “I need you.”

She pulls her hand out of my pants and steps away, ordering me to undress. When I’m done, she pushes me onto the couch and forces me to watch as she too strips off. She does it so teasingly, so slowly that it drives me mad with desire, making me salivate over every inch of her skin that gets exposed so that when she was finally fully bare, I was good and worked up.

Straddling me, she hovers just over my aching cock, taunting me further. Her fingers tangle in my hair and tug my head backwards, exposing my neck to her lips that attack it immediately, seeking to mark it all over. I gasp out, bucking up towards her every time she grazes her teeth over the fresh bruises she creates, trying to reach her bare pussy but only managing to brush against it lightly. Every time my dick grazes her pussy, she would pull on my hair harder.

“Baby, baby, please,” I squirm under her, breathy moans and grunts leaving me.

“Pathetic.” She growls in my ear, and drags her nails down my sides, digging stark red trails on my pale skin. The stinging from her nails on my skin and her teeth on my neck just make me all the more needy for her. I arch into her touch, moaning out when my hard nipples brush against her breasts.

Pulling away from my neck, she eyes me intently as she grabs my cock and slowly sinks down on it. Instinctively, my hands shoot out to grab her so I can fuck up into her and finally quench the fire raging through my body, but she takes a hold of them and pins them against the couch, continuing to ride me at her own mercilessly slow pace. Writhing beneath her in both ecstasy and torment, I curse, “Fuck, you’re gonna be the end of me.”

She soaks up my appearance, her eyes memorizing the urgency on my face standing out against the backdrop of cherry red hickies splattered all over my neck. “Look at you, you look so fucked out. I bet Soojin would love to have you like this.”

I try to say something but her pussy clenches around me, making me choke on my words.

“They all want you, know? Not just her, all my girlfriends want you, and they make sure to tell me all about it.” She jeers, riding me faster now. “But you don’t want them, you want me, don’t you oppa? You love fucking your little angel. You love ruining me. It gets you off.”

She starts bouncing on me wildly, her words coming out in little huffs and gasps along with her breath. “She used to ask me for advice on how to get you in bed, you know? Saying how I must know because I’m so close to you. If only she knew how right she was. If only she could see how good I’m fucking her boyfriend right now.”

She looks so smug above me like she had any right to be. Wasn’t she the one who said women can be as sexual as they wanted? Didn’t she tell me to back off? What about that cute boy she was so adamant on dating? She’s a fucking hypocrite and it’s time she knows it.

“And what about your boyfriend, huh?” I snap back, “He’d love to know that his little girlfriend is fucking me behind his back, right?”

Her mouth drops open in unwarranted shock, and she stops riding me but I grab a hold of her, taking over and fucking her. “Come on baby, didn’t you say you wanted to help me? Bounce on oppa’s cock like the good little slut you are.”

“Fuck you, Jaehyun.” She struggles to speak as I fuck her fast, torn between the pleasure she’s feeling and maintaining her pride. “Don’t lie, angel. You’re not doing this to help me. You wanted to get fucked.”

She shakes her head and beats her fists against my chest, “No!”

I stop thrusting up and she whines, trying to ride me again but I keep her hips still. She needs o face herself. I won’t back down this time. “Say it. Say you missed oppa’s cock.”

She flushes red and hits me again. As I let go of her hips to grab her hands and stop her, she starts moving on my dick. Getting angry, I lash out and slap her, and she instantly freezes. My gut instinct tells me to apologize at one, confident that I’d screwed up royally this time, but my conscious mind notices a curious little thing that stops me in my tracks; when I slapped her, I felt her pussy clench around me. Can it be?

As my mind goes into overdrive, she starts riding me again, looking at me pointedly. She was goading me and I knew it. Automatically, I slap her again and again she clenches around me and moans. “God, you’re dirty. You’re my dirty little slut, aren’t you baby?”

When she doesn’t say anything, I slap her again. “Aren’t you?”

“Yes, I’m oppa’s little slut.”

For a minute, I can’t help but stop, throwing my head back and squeezing my eyes shut in fear that I’d cum right on the spot just from hearing her say that. But she whimpers and whines, and takes all my self control and throws it in the trash. “Please fuck me oppa. Please, make me cum.”

I choke on my breath, rushing to give her what she wants—or trying to anyway. I only manage to fuck her for a couple of minutes before I was crying out her name and spilling into her.

“Oppa!” She whines. As my hips stutter and slow down, hers pick up the pace. Overwhelming my tender cock, she soothes my pained cries as she reaches her peak too. “I’m cumming. I’m cumming.”

We were both more than spent. We just sit there for a few minutes catching our breath and calming down. When I feel like I could move my limbs again, I pull her head from my chest and inspect her face, making sure I didn’t hurt her. “Are you ok, angel?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” She mumbles, ducking her head into my chest again and trying to hide her face which was still a little red. Whether from the slaps or the sex or the embarrassment, I didn’t know but it makes me laugh how flustered she looks right now when she was acting so shamelessly just moments ago. When she looks up to see why I’m laughing, I cup her jaw in my hand and tell her what I’ve been dying to say for years now, “I’m never going to let you go again.”

When she reels back in shock, I laugh even more. “Really, ___? You still want to act surprised? Fine, do what suits you, but you’re going to break up with Jaemin. You’re mine and I’m yours. I’ll break up with Soojin too.”

“W-what? Why?”

“Because you want me to stop seeing her. You’re in love with me and you want me all to yourself.”

“I’m— how did you--“

“I’ve known about it for years. Soojin wasn’t the first woman you got in the way of my relationship with. Remember that night Sicheng got you drunk? Remember why?”

She bites her lips and looks down, nodding. I spell it out for her, needing to make sure that she understood, “You caught me hooking up with Miyeon and couldn’t handle it so you nagged Sicheng for the drinks and he gave them to you.”

“I had been dating Miyeon for a while by then and you didn’t like it, but I didn’t realize just how upset it made you until that night. You were livid, inconsolable. You kept yelling at me and tearing me down. You made me feel like shit for daring to be with another girl. I was yours after all, right?”

“You know I want it. You know I want you.” I wrap my hands around her shoulders and try to kiss her but she shakes me off.

“What are you doing?” She asks, that familiar fear in her eyes making me even angrier.

“You know damn well what I’m doing.” I stand so close to her, my body practically flush with hers. She attempts to back away but the bed was right behind her so she falls down on her back on the mattress. Before she can get up, I climb over her body, trapping her. “Until when are you going to run from me? I’m tired of always chasing after you.”

“So like a fool, I thought that confessing my love to you would make you forgive me for my unspeakable crime, but you freaked out. You didn’t want to give yourself to me but you didn’t want another girl to have me either. You wanted me to stay forever by your side, living off the slim hope that you would allow me to have you one day. That was your leverage. That’s the tactic that you used to make sure I never left you. When I confessed to you, I took that power away from you and forced you to make a choice so you threw a tantrum to get me to back down.”

“I-I don’t remember…” She stumbles, weakly trying to fight back against the accusations.

“Because you were fucking drunk.”

Realization falls on her face as she finally connects the dots, remembering everything that happened that night for the first time. Still she tries to hold onto the comfort of denial, her eyes tearing up as she shakes her head, “But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would I do that? I love you. Why would I intentionally push you away?”

“You were scared. You always were. So you pulled back every time I tried to get close to you. Ever since we were little kids, you always pulled away from me.”

“But why?” She sobs, looking desolate.

“It’s your father. He messed you up.”

Her face instantly hardens and she grits out, “Don’t you dare bring him into this. Don’t you dare use him against me!”

“I’m not using shit against you. It’s the truth. You’re so fucking terrified I’d leave you like he left you if you show me that you love me too. You use love as a bargaining chip, always keeping the prospect of a relationship with you just out of my reach to keep me running after it because you’re convinced I’d leave you once I have it.”

“Or maybe you’re lying to trick me into leaving my boyfriend and staying with you because you’re scared shitless of losing the only person who still hasn’t left you. Because If I leave then your father was right about you all along.”

She gasps as soon as she finishes, horrified as if someone else took over her body and spoke the words for her. “Jaehyun, I’m so sorry.”

“Shut the fuck up.” I growl, my own defensiveness and hurt getting triggered. “You’re not sorry. You always lash out like this when you’re cornered to try and bring me down so you could control me. You’re so fucking manipulative and you don’t even know it.”

“Oppa, stop it…”

“No! I’m tired of you always playing the victim. Little sad ___ always oppressed by her mean oppa. Wake the fuck up, ___. You hurt me too. You’re always punishing me for what your father did. You can’t get back at him so you punish me instead. You know I love you and you use it against me because you think loving is weakness and you can’t allow yourself to be weak with anyone, even me.”

“What about you, huh?” She retaliates, voice getting hoarse as she shouts. “You’re supposed to be protecting me, yet you’ve always put your life in my hands. You always told me that I’m the reason you exist as if that’s not a fucked up thing to put on someone else’s conscience. You never said it outright but you put the responsibility on me to keep you alive. Do you know how fucking terrifying that is? To realize from a young age that someone’s life is in your hands?”

“It couldn’t have been that terrifying if you chased away every woman that tried to get close to me so I wouldn’t have anyone but you. Moving on from you was never an option when you’d manipulate and guilt me into being blindly loyal to you.”

“Because you raised me to need you!” She shrills, her wild hair and frustrated tears making her look unhinged.

I take deep breaths to calm myself down. “We can argue the details all night long but the fact remains the same; you’re mine and I’m yours. That’s how it has always been. We have all the time in the world to sort out our issues, but first we need to stop these games. I’ll break up with Soojin, not that we were ever really together to start with. You need to break up with Jaemin too. He can go find another girl.”

“I’m not dating Jaemin.” She says quietly. Seeing my stunned disbelief, she explains dumbly, “I cancelled the date after… after what happened that day. It wouldn’t have been fair to him for to go on a date with a girl who just got head from her oppa. I can’t hurt him like that.”

“But you can hurt me?” I ask bitterly. It was a question that needed no reply, and she didn’t give one anyway. •❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅• A/N: The next chapter is the end of this story and it’s up to you guys to decide who you want the OC to end up with: 1) Jaehyun, 2) Jaemin, 3) No one / neither. Your votes will decide so choose the ending you want. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated, and if you do vote I’d love to hear your reasoning :)

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