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#hence the reblog spree last night
majorproblems77 · 5 months
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Hugs and cookies and checking in. How are you doing? ♥️
Oh bless you, thanks Aj. I'll happily take cookies as i retreat into the blanket fort tonight.
If im honest? Not great.
TLDR - I feel like hell, and am just about finding joy in blorbo and not much else rn.
I'm drained, and the stress of it all has made me really sick. I'm still pretty upset generally, and I've had to start clearing away stuff which has been difficult. But I think my other cat's reaction is what made it hard (My other cat was besties with her they did everything together) he's spent the last few days just yelling around the house looking for her which is, difficult to say the least.
Probably not the update you were hoping for, but I appreciate you checking in on me thank you so much.
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givemaycoffee · 1 year
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I swear it was just last weekend when I thought "I haven't seen any Vox Machina on my dash in ages! Could it be that my fave mutual has moved on from Percy de Rolo?"
The answer today, fortunately, is a definite NO. All is well in the world.
Because I can't tag-comment it: those were a delicious range of sweet to mildly spicy you posted last night. *Chef's kiss*
Hahahaha - I love you, dear 😂
The honest answer is that it’s impossible to find content 🥲 tumblr doesn’t bring it up when you search on the tag and I’ve already reblogged most of the newer stuff that does show, and many of the old artists deleted their blogs or the posts themselves.
I happened across both an old artist and a tag searching method that worked really well yesterday, hence the wild amount of content. And I always reblog this stuff immediately because I am always deeply afraid they’ll see me reblogging, remember those posts exist, and then decide to delete them or something. Or I just won’t be able to find them again. So I go on a spree, because as long as I reblog it, I’ll always have it.
So…. Yeah. No. Still 100% obsessed with my boy Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III 😂 Fave singular character ever. Delicious in every ship.
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jq37 · 2 years
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Did you start listening to naddpod campaign 3 recently queen or are you just appreciating Callie tonight 💙💙☔
I've actually been listening to NADDPOD C3 since last year! I'm just getting caught up right now. I'm halfway through episode 30 and I wanted to see if anyone had done art of Callie's design change (being a little vague in case anyone following me listens and hasn't caught up). I didn't see any BUT I did see a bunch of other cool art, hence last night's reblog spree of Duck Team's favorite Rainy Day Eladrin (and Foster!).
It's always Callie appreciating hours on this blog though. She's my favorite--which I'm sure is no surprise to anyone who saw me during my peak Abernant Sisters Obsession. Can't wait for her Bitch of a Sister (TM Adaine Abernant) to show up. And I love where here arc with Glenn has led her so far. Just another banger Emily character--but not big surprise there.
Anyway, yeah almost caught up and totally down to talk about it. I'm really enjoying the season and very curious to see where the story is going (especially considering...recent events).
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Uh oh- I wrote another fanfic. This time it’s a Crygi fic <3 So please enjoy!!! The fanfic can be accessed through the AO3 link but also you can just read under the cut here! Please leave a comment or reblog if you feel so inclined!
If you’re ever feeling bored… I just moved in… I’m the girl next door.
Crystal had never considered herself someone who was easily flustered. Honestly, she was rather outgoing. She had never been prone to shy away or back down from anything- much less romantic interactions and she took pride in the fact she was everything but the stereotypical “useless lesbian”. But apparently, there was always a first time for everything. And for once in her life, Crystal found herself a jumbled mess at the hands of a pretty girl.
She had been in the middle of her once a month, high intensity cleaning spree- a bottle of disinfectant in one hand and a trash bag full of empty take out containers in the other- when she finally met her match. 
A girl named Gigi Goode.
Now, Crystal loved music. She loved it with all her heart. If music was a pretty girl, she’d be married to it by now. She’d have musical babies with it if she could. She just really liked music. And she especially liked to blast her music as loud as she possibly could, whenever she possibly could. Which meant she was usually entertaining the entire neighborhood with her kickass music tastes from the second she woke up to the second she hit her mattress again at night. And maybe this had earned her dozens of noise complaints in the past, but well, you only live once. Noise complaints are temporary, the beauty that is the song C’est La Vie by B*Witched is forever. Her neighbors tended to disagree on this fact, but well, her immediate next door neighbor (an older woman by the name of Bianca) had finally moved...
So really, nothing was stopping Crystal from playing her music as loudly or as frequently as she pleased anymore. Hence, the Trixie Mattel albums she had playing on loop as she swept and dusted her apartment at 9:30 in the morning.
Crystal’s love for Trixie Mattel’s music was one that had changed her life, an all consuming love like one has for a mother, or a beloved family pet. Except neither Crystal’s mom or beloved cat Tic Tac had really played a part in Crystal’s gay awakening- which was probably for the best. Yep, Crystal had been obsessed with Trixie Mattel and her music since the moment she had seen the blonde perform at a local bar years in the past. She still had the homemade CD she had bought at the bar, stashed away in one of her drawers, which had found a home amongst the high quality vinyls that she would buy from Trixie’s online shop once the woman had gained her big break. 
And again, for clarity, Trixie Mattel had been Crystal’s lesbian awakening. Which honestly surprised nearly no one, as everyone around her had known Crystal was a lesbian before the notion of lesbianism had ever crossed her own mind. But while Crystal had been so deep in the closet she had nearly found Narnia, Trixie Mattel served as the guiding light out of the dark, musty, moth infested closet and into the light of wow women are really pretty. In honor of this fact, her CD had been the first one Crystal ever purchased with money she had earned herself. With all this in mind, it was only natural Crystal blare her music at any chance she could. 
The last song faded out, before the playlist looped again, Trixie Mattel’s saccharine sweet voice making Crystal break out into a dopey grin, before she was singing along as best as she could (where she was surprisingly on key for once in her life). She had just begun to really groove along to the chorus of Girl Next Door before a demanding knock startled her from her reverie.
Had she invited someone over?
Crystal wracked her brain, last she checked she didn’t have any plans for the day. Maybe Nicky was stopping by to talk about her girlfriend Jaida. Or Jan was stopping by to talk about her girlfriend Jackie. Or Rock was coming by to discuss the latest girl she’d met that she’d decided she was definitely in love with- this time for total realsies. God, Crystal’s friend group was full of useless lesbians. Thank god she wasn’t as useless and easily smitten as the rest of them. Nope. Crystal gave herself a mental pat on the back for this fact, swinging open the door with far too much force- a scathing zinger on the tip of her tongue to mock one of her lovesick friends.
But it wasn’t Jan or Nicky or Rock.
It was someone Crystal had never seen in her life.
A woman with piercing eyes, violently scarlet hair, and an outfit that seemed to be ripped straight from a high end fashion magazine stood in the doorway- staring Crystal down as if they were lifelong enemies. And oops- this woman was terrifyingly hot.
“Uh… hello?” Crystal offered out, feeling her mind go blank, all thoughts of who the woman was or why she was there replaced with a looping mantra of pretty girl pretty girl pretty girl. 
“Hello.” The woman parroted with a disapproving hum, “I’m Gigi Goode. I just moved in next door.”
“Oh. Well hi! I’m Crystal. Lovely to meet you.” She flashed a bright smile, hoping the redhead would return the gesture… or at least give Crystal something other than a death glare.
Gigi didn’t seem to care about Crystal’s introduction, speaking in a way that reminded Crystal of the customer service voice she’d use back at her old job at Chuck E. Cheese when dealing with entitled parents, “Yes… lovely to meet you. Ms. Del Rio warned me about you- but I didn’t realize she was so serious about how often you listen to your music. You are aware it’s barely ten in the morning right?”
“Right.”
“And you are aware that most people like to spend their Sunday mornings in bed right?”
Crystal nodded, “Right.”
“Have you ever considered wearing headphones? Or turning down your music? Or literally anything other than blasting your music at the same decibel count as a private jet?”
“Uhhh…”
Gigi rolled her eyes, an overdramatic gesture that despite its angry intention, simply made a hoard of lovesick butterflies erupt in Crystal’s stomach, “Thought not. Maybe try headphones next time, I didn’t need you blasting your shitty country music as a wake up call.”
Oh. OH? SHITTY? SHITTY COUNTRY MUSIC? Alright, maybe this woman wasn’t as perfect and cute as Crystal thought if she was calling Trixie Mattel’s music shitty.
“It’s not fucking shitty country music actually, it’s Trixie Mattel.” Crystal said as politely as she could, resisting the urge to flip off her new neighbor, disgustingly ethereally pretty or not- no one called Trixie Mattel’s music shitty in front of Crystal and got away with it.
“Whatever.” The woman said with a groan, rubbing at her temples with a yawn, “Just keep it down next time or I’m gonna be forced to file a noise complaint.”
Crystal opened her mouth to respond, wanting to snark back, but Gigi was already turning around and walking back the way she came. 
She seemed to be actually pretty tired, stumbling a bit as she turned the corner, which made Crystal feel a bit bad. She probably had woken the poor woman up.
Hmmm… maybe Gigi had a point. 
Crystal might as well invest in some earbuds.
+ +
The next week flew by without a peep from the redheaded neighbor, even as Crystal played her music like usual.
She had placed in an order for some brand new headphones, but for some reason her package got lost in transit, so she was stuck with her speaker for the time being.
But the beautiful woman never came back to bother Crystal about it.
Maybe Crystal played her music a bit louder that week hoping she would though.
And maybe she played some girl in red to give her a hint that she too was a friend of Ellen. As in she was a lesbian. Not an actual Ellen fan. God no.
Sunday rolled around again though without a peep from Gigi, with Crystal keeping her music at a surprisingly not eardrum shattering level when she heard a loud, persistent knocking on her door.
“Yo,” She said as she swung open the door, “What’s up?”
It was Gigi again, looking just as radiant as she had the first time they met, though this time she had on a shy smile instead of a sleep-deprived pout. And just like the first time they had met, all of Crystal’s conversational skills seemed to vanish in thin air, out on a sabbatical or something, leaving Crystal empty headed as she stared at the other women. 
“Uh… howdy!” She finally managed to squeak out once her brain booted up again, wincing at the way her voice jumped an octave within a two syllable word, “Gigi right?”
Gigi nodded, looking Crystal up and down, as if trying to memorize her and her outfit before she spoke again, “And you’re Crystal.” After a millisecond pause she continued, “I really like your outfit today. Pinks a nice color on you.”
Crystal felt her face heat up, “Uh thanks! I- I like yours too! And your makeup! You are just- wow- your outfit- everything about you is uh, very pretty.”
Wow. Crystal was so bad at this. She was usually so outgoing, so good at flirting, or at least not so miserably clumsy at it… what kind of witchcraft was this girl using to make Crystal so choked up?
“Thanks,” Gigi replied, seemingly oblivious to Crystal’s aggressive gay panicking, “I just wanted to stop by and apologize for how I acted last week. I was really, really stressed out with moving and all and running on very little sleep so I was a bit…” she paused, making an awkward clicking sound with her tongue, a hint of pink crawling up her neck before she admitted, “I was honestly a bit of a bitch. Like- a mega cunt. I’m really sorry, can we start over again perhaps?”
Crystal wanted to assure Gigi that she understood. They all had their bad days, and to be fair, Crystal had been listening to her music far too loudly. But instead she simply extended a hand, flashing an overenthusiastic Crystal brand smile to her neighbor before chirping out, “Nice to meet you, I’m Crystal- from what I gather you’re new to the neighborhood right?”
Gigi’s eyes went wide, confused for a split second before she understood what Crystal was doing, giving a soft snort of laughter which totally wasn’t the cutest thing Crystal had ever heard, no siree, before she took Crystal’s hand in hers to shake, “Yes, I just moved in last week actually. I’m Gigi Goode, lovely to meet you. I adore your hair.”
The fact this was already the second genuine compliment she had been given by Gigi in the past two minutes of them talking made Crystal’s heart backflip in her ribcage, and she once more found herself struggling to move the conversation along.
What was she supposed to say? 
Oh wow- if you like my hair then go look in the mirror because your hair is perfect? You’re perfect? Please go on a date with me? Yeah no- Crystal’s brain needed to be quiet. She needed to be chill. Gigi was probably just being polite, and she probably already had a boyfriend or something. Should Crystal ask about that? Would it be weird if Crystal asked Gigi if she was single so soon? Oh god- Crystal still hadn’t responded to Gigi. What the fuck was she gonna say?
Thankfully Gigi seemed to pick up on Crystal’s inability to form a coherent sentence, removing her hand before she pulled out her phone- unlocking it quickly to show a Spotify playlist full of Trixie Mattel’s music, “After we spoke the first time I decided to actually give this Trixie Mattel chick a listen, she’s really good, really… sapphic.” Her eyes twinkled, mischief in her voice as she said, “I mean, at least from my perspective it seemed that way. But maybe I’m misinterpreting her music. I figured since you seem to love her stuff you could verify my interpretations for me.” Gigi seemed closer to Crystal than she had been before, no longer a solid yard away, now close enough that Crystal could see the small patch of freckles on the other girl’s nose. How could one woman be so effortlessly beautiful?
Boy oh boy, Crystal once more was becoming aware of just how much she loved women. 
“I- I’d say her music is pretty sapphic.” Crystal finally said, trying to seem blase about it, “I mean, I wouldn’t say it’s particularly straight. It’s kind of a joke within her fanbase that it’s like 90% anxious lesbians and like 10% everyone else.”
Gigi raised an eyebrow, “Ah really? Well I guess I fit right in then.”
‘Oh that’s cool.’ Crystal almost said before it finally clicked. Oh? OH? Women? Women lover? 
That meant Crystal actually had a chance after all! Dammit she was back in the game! She just needed to be smooth- be the flirtatious Crystal everyone knew and loved- instead of the bumbling, awkward fool who couldn’t even get through a sentence without going scarlet.
“Oh, same! I’m like- always anxious and very woman- I mean- I love women. Lesbian. That’s me. I’m… I’m very big Trixie fan.” Okay… forget being smooth, Crystal just had to get through the rest of the conversation without embarrassing herself any further, surely she could manage that? Right?
Gigi bounced on the balls of her feet idly, a smile that verged on a wolfish smirk on her face as she watched Crystal make an absolute fool of herself, “Wow, we have a lot in common then. Two sapphics with good music taste. Actually…” Gigi placed a hand on her chin as if in thought, “I just so happened to have secured two tickets to Trixie’s latest concert… you know… the one she’s been advertising on her Instagram- with Katya?”
Oh. Oh dear lord. Somebody pinch Crystal because she must have been dreaming. This was all far too good to be true.
“Oh shit really!” Crystal nearly screeched, beginning to shake with excitement, “How? Those things sold out so fast!”
Gigi gave a nonchalant shrug, “I have friends in high places I guess you could say. And I figured I ought to apologize for being a bitch last time we talked, so I thought maybe I could take you to the concert as like, a sign of good will. We could be super cool lesbians together… in the front row…”
If the enticement of hanging out with such a pretty woman weren’t enough, the promise of front row tickets would have pulled Crystal in no problem, “Front row! Oh my god! Yes! Yes yes yes! Thank you so much! Oh god yeah! Dude that’s fucking awesome!”
Crystal was tempted to pinch herself because honestly- this couldn’t be real- but the way Gigi grinned at her, earnest and sweet, brought her back to reality.
Finally realizing that Gigi was still just standing in her doorway, Crystal beckoned for Gigi to come inside as she began pacing around her living room in feverish excitement, talking a mile a minute in her glee, “Thank you again- I- I’m actually gonna cry! Wow! A Trixie Mattel and Katya concert! With a pretty girl at my side! I’m actually gonna cry! Oh my god! This is the dream! My friends are gonna be so jealous! Thank you so so so much!”
Gigi didn’t say anything, though her cheeks went a bit pink at the mention of a pretty girl.
“Jesus Christ, sorry, I’m just so hype right now. Sit down! Sit down! You’re like- the coolest- and also a guest- ignore the mess, I need to clean the house again soon. But wow. I owe you one! Or maybe a thousand! You like coffee? I can take you out for coffee sometime as a thank you! Or like- take you on a shopping spree? Whatever you want really!”
Gigi let Crystal get all her rambling out of her system before she waved her hand, as if dismissing the idea, “You don’t need to take me out for coffee or anything. I’m just happy to know you’re happy, and that we can get along after all. Though…” She tapped her chin as if thinking again, “If you wanna repay me, we can just ya know, consider this concert trip as like… a date… if you’re comfortable with that of course. Wait- are you single?” Her eyes suddenly widened, “I don’t wanna like- hit on you if you’re dating someone!”
Crystal shook her head, surprisingly quick in her response of, “No- don’t worry- I’m single. And uh,” She flashed a smile herself, “I’d love to make it a date.”
“Oh good.” Gigi gave a sigh of relief, her entire face tinted a soft pink, “Then it’s a date?”
“It’s a date.”
Gigi nodded to herself, a silence filling the room before she quickly stammered, “I uh, I was so nervous you were gonna turn me down actually. I mean, I really didn’t show my best side last week so I would’ve understood if you said no.”
The change in Gigi’s demeanor was adorable to see, her more put together persona crumbling to reveal another lesbian who was just as useless as Crystal was. Thank god she wasn’t alone on that boat, “It’s fine, last week was just a fluke. No harm, no foul. And now I can get to know your best side properly- here and on our date at a super cool Trixie concert.” Wow. It felt nice to say all that. Specifically the ‘date at a super cool Trixie concert’ part. 
The relief on Gigi’s face was visible, though it was replaced in a flash by a more nonchalant grin, “I honestly can’t wait. I’ve been listening to her album Barbara on a loop all week, her music really is something else. Sorry I said it was shitty earlier, I assumed you were listening to some stadium country Life is a Highway shit.”
“Life Is a Highway?” Crystal put a hand to her forehead, leaning back overdramatically, “Did you really assume I was the type of person to listen to Life Is a Highway?” She absolutely was, in fact she had a whole playlist dedicated to shitty country songs, but she didn’t need to tell Gigi that, “I thought my gayness was more potent than that.”
“I was a bit too tired and out of it to actually process what you were listening to, to be fair. I just heard the basic thrum of it through my walls and assumed you were some asshole who listens to nothing but country all day everyday. I didn’t even consider you were gay.”
Didn’t consider it? Crystal felt shocked, appalled, and frankly- a bit offended. Was her gay energy lacking? Did she need to start wearing her pride flag earrings 24/7 again like she did in high school?
“Well at least you figured it out now. Though geez, I am a bit offended you assumed I was straight.”
Gigi gave a small laugh, moving to pat Crystal’s shoulder softly in apology, her hand lingering on Crystal’s arm far too long to be anything less than clear flirting, “I stopped assuming when I listened to Trixie’s music thankfully, and then fully knew you were gay when you answered the door today. Your sweater couldn’t be gayer unless it was actually the colors of the goddamn rainbow. It looks ridiculously cute on you actually.”
Alright, fuck Gigi and her ability to fluster Crystal so easily. She couldn’t deal with her and her sweet compliments.
“Thanks Geeg, you look really cute today too.” She paused, stopping to look at Gigi’s outfit before it hit her, “Wait, is your eye makeup the lesbian flag colors? Like in order?”
“Yeah,” Gigi said as if it was obvious, which Crystal supposed it was, “Did you only just notice?”
“I- Maybe- ya know what? Shush. Shut up. Don’t- don’t say anything-”
Gigi made a zipping motion over her mouth, though her amusement was clear as Crystal tried to change the subject hastily.
“Anyway, if you’ve been listening to Trixie Mattel, I gotta ask... What’s your favourite song?
“Girl Next Door.” Gigi said without hesitation, “Duh.”
“Oh good choice, good choice. I mean… If you’re ever feeling bored…”
Gigi rolled her eyes playfully, finishing the lyrics, “I just moved in, I’m the girl next door.”
Crystal winked, “And I’d love to have you on my hardwood floor.”
Gigi cackled, face going scarlet, “You can call me up with love, the girl next door.”
Crystal laughed as well before suddenly dashing to grab her phone, nearly shoving it into Gigi’s hands, “That reminds me though, if we’re gonna have a date and all, can I have your number?”
“Oh of course!” Gigi quickly put in her number, adding a heart next to her contact name before passing the phone back to Crystal, again allowing her touch to linger far too long to be casual, “So now you can hit me up whenever. Though I literally live next door so you can just knock if you want.”
Crystal nodded, “Same here, just knock if my music is too loud or something. I’ve been trying to keep it down prior to noon, so that way I don’t deserve your sleep schedule, fair maiden Gigi.”
Gigi laughed, “I don’t mind if your music is loud- I’m actually really starting to like your taste- and it gives me more reason to stop by and talk to you. Maybe next time we can have lunch together, or a movie night, if that’s alright with you.”
Crystal gave a small laugh, “Of course, I’d never turn down a chance to hang out with such a pretty girl, with such clearly perfect music taste as liking Trixie Mattel. Just stop by whenever.”
Gigi gave a nod in response, suddenly rushing to check her phone before she was rising from her seat, “Oh shit- I have to head out now, I have a call coming in from a friend in a few minutes, but we can chat more later. Maybe turn down your music for the next like hour or so for me if you can, then go back to destroying your ear drums all you want.”
Crystal nodded, throwing up finger guns along with a wink, “Can do. I’ll see you around Gigi.”
Gigi made her way to the door, blowing a kiss to Crystal before moving to leave, “Talk to you soon Crystal, we can discuss the plans for our date later! And remember- if you’re ever feeling bored, I just moved in- I’m the girl next door!”
Crystal felt light on her feet, responding with a cheery, “Couldn’t forget if I tried!” Then just like that, Gigi was gone, and Crystal was dashing to call up her friends to give them the 411 on the cute new girl and her upcoming date to see the Trixie Mattel live. 
And just like Gigi asked, she turned down her music- though after an hour she received a text from the redheaded girl reading:
Gigi <3: You can turn up your music again ;) 
And just like that… Crystal was blasting Trixie Mattel at full volume.
.
Girl Next Door
By: macon_ferret
If you’re ever feeling bored… I just moved in… I’m the girl next door.
Crystal had never considered herself someone who was easily flustered. Honestly, she was rather outgoing. She had never been prone to shy away or back down from anything- much less romantic interactions and she took pride in the fact she was everything but the stereotypical “useless lesbian”. But apparently, there was always a first time for everything. And for once in her life, Crystal found herself a jumbled mess at the hands of a pretty girl.
She had been in the middle of her once a month, high intensity cleaning spree- a bottle of disinfectant in one hand and a trash bag full of empty take out containers in the other- when she finally met her match. 
A girl named Gigi Goode.
Now, Crystal loved music. She loved it with all her heart. If music was a pretty girl, she’d be married to it by now. She’d have musical babies with it if she could. She just really liked music. And she especially liked to blast her music as loud as she possibly could, whenever she possibly could. Which meant she was usually entertaining the entire neighborhood with her kickass music tastes from the second she woke up to the second she hit her mattress again at night. And maybe this had earned her dozens of noise complaints in the past, but well, you only live once. Noise complaints are temporary, the beauty that is the song C’est La Vie by B*Witched is forever. Her neighbors tended to disagree on this fact, but well, her immediate next door neighbor (an older woman by the name of Bianca) had finally moved...
So really, nothing was stopping Crystal from playing her music as loudly or as frequently as she pleased anymore. Hence, the Trixie Mattel albums she had playing on loop as she swept and dusted her apartment at 9:30 in the morning.
Crystal’s love for Trixie Mattel’s music was one that had changed her life, an all consuming love like one has for a mother, or a beloved family pet. Except neither Crystal’s mom or beloved cat Tic Tac had really played a part in Crystal’s gay awakening- which was probably for the best. Yep, Crystal had been obsessed with Trixie Mattel and her music since the moment she had seen the blonde perform at a local bar years in the past. She still had the homemade CD she had bought at the bar, stashed away in one of her drawers, which had found a home amongst the high quality vinyls that she would buy from Trixie’s online shop once the woman had gained her big break. 
And again, for clarity, Trixie Mattel had been Crystal’s lesbian awakening. Which honestly surprised nearly no one, as everyone around her had known Crystal was a lesbian before the notion of lesbianism had ever crossed her own mind. But while Crystal had been so deep in the closet she had nearly found Narnia, Trixie Mattel served as the guiding light out of the dark, musty, moth infested closet and into the light of wow women are really pretty. In honor of this fact, her CD had been the first one Crystal ever purchased with money she had earned herself. With all this in mind, it was only natural Crystal blare her music at any chance she could. 
The last song faded out, before the playlist looped again, Trixie Mattel’s saccharine sweet voice making Crystal break out into a dopey grin, before she was singing along as best as she could (where she was surprisingly on key for once in her life). She had just begun to really groove along to the chorus of Girl Next Door before a demanding knock startled her from her reverie.
Had she invited someone over?
Crystal wracked her brain, last she checked she didn’t have any plans for the day. Maybe Nicky was stopping by to talk about her girlfriend Jaida. Or Jan was stopping by to talk about her girlfriend Jackie. Or Rock was coming by to discuss the latest girl she’d met that she’d decided she was definitely in love with- this time for total realsies. God, Crystal’s friend group was full of useless lesbians. Thank god she wasn’t as useless and easily smitten as the rest of them. Nope. Crystal gave herself a mental pat on the back for this fact, swinging open the door with far too much force- a scathing zinger on the tip of her tongue to mock one of her lovesick friends.
But it wasn’t Jan or Nicky or Rock.
It was someone Crystal had never seen in her life.
A woman with piercing eyes, violently scarlet hair, and an outfit that seemed to be ripped straight from a high end fashion magazine stood in the doorway- staring Crystal down as if they were lifelong enemies. And oops- this woman was terrifyingly hot.
“Uh… hello?” Crystal offered out, feeling her mind go blank, all thoughts of who the woman was or why she was there replaced with a looping mantra of pretty girl pretty girl pretty girl. 
“Hello.” The woman parroted with a disapproving hum, “I’m Gigi Goode. I just moved in next door.”
“Oh. Well hi! I’m Crystal. Lovely to meet you.” She flashed a bright smile, hoping the redhead would return the gesture… or at least give Crystal something other than a death glare.
Gigi didn’t seem to care about Crystal’s introduction, speaking in a way that reminded Crystal of the customer service voice she’d use back at her old job at Chuck E. Cheese when dealing with entitled parents, “Yes… lovely to meet you. Ms. Del Rio warned me about you- but I didn’t realize she was so serious about how often you listen to your music. You are aware it’s barely ten in the morning right?”
“Right.”
“And you are aware that most people like to spend their Sunday mornings in bed right?”
Crystal nodded, “Right.”
“Have you ever considered wearing headphones? Or turning down your music? Or literally anything other than blasting your music at the same decibel count as a private jet?”
“Uhhh…”
Gigi rolled her eyes, an overdramatic gesture that despite its angry intention, simply made a hoard of lovesick butterflies erupt in Crystal’s stomach, “Thought not. Maybe try headphones next time, I didn’t need you blasting your shitty country music as a wake up call.”
Oh. OH? SHITTY? SHITTY COUNTRY MUSIC? Alright, maybe this woman wasn’t as perfect and cute as Crystal thought if she was calling Trixie Mattel’s music shitty.
“It’s not fucking shitty country music actually, it’s Trixie Mattel.” Crystal said as politely as she could, resisting the urge to flip off her new neighbor, disgustingly ethereally pretty or not- no one called Trixie Mattel’s music shitty in front of Crystal and got away with it.
“Whatever.” The woman said with a groan, rubbing at her temples with a yawn, “Just keep it down next time or I’m gonna be forced to file a noise complaint.”
Crystal opened her mouth to respond, wanting to snark back, but Gigi was already turning around and walking back the way she came. 
She seemed to be actually pretty tired, stumbling a bit as she turned the corner, which made Crystal feel a bit bad. She probably had woken the poor woman up.
Hmmm… maybe Gigi had a point. 
Crystal might as well invest in some earbuds.
+ +
The next week flew by without a peep from the redheaded neighbor, even as Crystal played her music like usual.
She had placed in an order for some brand new headphones, but for some reason her package got lost in transit, so she was stuck with her speaker for the time being.
But the beautiful woman never came back to bother Crystal about it.
Maybe Crystal played her music a bit louder that week hoping she would though.
And maybe she played some girl in red to give her a hint that she too was a friend of Ellen. As in she was a lesbian. Not an actual Ellen fan. God no.
Sunday rolled around again though without a peep from Gigi, with Crystal keeping her music at a surprisingly not eardrum shattering level when she heard a loud, persistent knocking on her door.
“Yo,” She said as she swung open the door, “What’s up?”
It was Gigi again, looking just as radiant as she had the first time they met, though this time she had on a shy smile instead of a sleep-deprived pout. And just like the first time they had met, all of Crystal’s conversational skills seemed to vanish in thin air, out on a sabbatical or something, leaving Crystal empty headed as she stared at the other women. 
“Uh… howdy!” She finally managed to squeak out once her brain booted up again, wincing at the way her voice jumped an octave within a two syllable word, “Gigi right?”
Gigi nodded, looking Crystal up and down, as if trying to memorize her and her outfit before she spoke again, “And you’re Crystal.” After a millisecond pause she continued, “I really like your outfit today. Pinks a nice color on you.”
Crystal felt her face heat up, “Uh thanks! I- I like yours too! And your makeup! You are just- wow- your outfit- everything about you is uh, very pretty.”
Wow. Crystal was so bad at this. She was usually so outgoing, so good at flirting, or at least not so miserably clumsy at it… what kind of witchcraft was this girl using to make Crystal so choked up?
“Thanks,” Gigi replied, seemingly oblivious to Crystal’s aggressive gay panicking, “I just wanted to stop by and apologize for how I acted last week. I was really, really stressed out with moving and all and running on very little sleep so I was a bit…” she paused, making an awkward clicking sound with her tongue, a hint of pink crawling up her neck before she admitted, “I was honestly a bit of a bitch. Like- a mega cunt. I’m really sorry, can we start over again perhaps?”
Crystal wanted to assure Gigi that she understood. They all had their bad days, and to be fair, Crystal had been listening to her music far too loudly. But instead she simply extended a hand, flashing an overenthusiastic Crystal brand smile to her neighbor before chirping out, “Nice to meet you, I’m Crystal- from what I gather you’re new to the neighborhood right?”
Gigi’s eyes went wide, confused for a split second before she understood what Crystal was doing, giving a soft snort of laughter which totally wasn’t the cutest thing Crystal had ever heard, no siree, before she took Crystal’s hand in hers to shake, “Yes, I just moved in last week actually. I’m Gigi Goode, lovely to meet you. I adore your hair.”
The fact this was already the second genuine compliment she had been given by Gigi in the past two minutes of them talking made Crystal’s heart backflip in her ribcage, and she once more found herself struggling to move the conversation along.
What was she supposed to say? 
Oh wow- if you like my hair then go look in the mirror because your hair is perfect? You’re perfect? Please go on a date with me? Yeah no- Crystal’s brain needed to be quiet. She needed to be chill. Gigi was probably just being polite, and she probably already had a boyfriend or something. Should Crystal ask about that? Would it be weird if Crystal asked Gigi if she was single so soon? Oh god- Crystal still hadn’t responded to Gigi. What the fuck was she gonna say?
Thankfully Gigi seemed to pick up on Crystal’s inability to form a coherent sentence, removing her hand before she pulled out her phone- unlocking it quickly to show a Spotify playlist full of Trixie Mattel’s music, “After we spoke the first time I decided to actually give this Trixie Mattel chick a listen, she’s really good, really… sapphic.” Her eyes twinkled, mischief in her voice as she said, “I mean, at least from my perspective it seemed that way. But maybe I’m misinterpreting her music. I figured since you seem to love her stuff you could verify my interpretations for me.” Gigi seemed closer to Crystal than she had been before, no longer a solid yard away, now close enough that Crystal could see the small patch of freckles on the other girl’s nose. How could one woman be so effortlessly beautiful?
Boy oh boy, Crystal once more was becoming aware of just how much she loved women. 
“I- I’d say her music is pretty sapphic.” Crystal finally said, trying to seem blase about it, “I mean, I wouldn’t say it’s particularly straight. It’s kind of a joke within her fanbase that it’s like 90% anxious lesbians and like 10% everyone else.”
Gigi raised an eyebrow, “Ah really? Well I guess I fit right in then.”
‘Oh that’s cool.’ Crystal almost said before it finally clicked. Oh? OH? Women? Women lover? 
That meant Crystal actually had a chance after all! Dammit she was back in the game! She just needed to be smooth- be the flirtatious Crystal everyone knew and loved- instead of the bumbling, awkward fool who couldn’t even get through a sentence without going scarlet.
“Oh, same! I’m like- always anxious and very woman- I mean- I love women. Lesbian. That’s me. I’m… I’m very big Trixie fan.” Okay… forget being smooth, Crystal just had to get through the rest of the conversation without embarrassing herself any further, surely she could manage that? Right?
Gigi bounced on the balls of her feet idly, a smile that verged on a wolfish smirk on her face as she watched Crystal make an absolute fool of herself, “Wow, we have a lot in common then. Two sapphics with good music taste. Actually…” Gigi placed a hand on her chin as if in thought, “I just so happened to have secured two tickets to Trixie’s latest concert… you know… the one she’s been advertising on her Instagram- with Katya?”
Oh. Oh dear lord. Somebody pinch Crystal because she must have been dreaming. This was all far too good to be true.
“Oh shit really!” Crystal nearly screeched, beginning to shake with excitement, “How? Those things sold out so fast!”
Gigi gave a nonchalant shrug, “I have friends in high places I guess you could say. And I figured I ought to apologize for being a bitch last time we talked, so I thought maybe I could take you to the concert as like, a sign of good will. We could be super cool lesbians together… in the front row…”
If the enticement of hanging out with such a pretty woman weren’t enough, the promise of front row tickets would have pulled Crystal in no problem, “Front row! Oh my god! Yes! Yes yes yes! Thank you so much! Oh god yeah! Dude that’s fucking awesome!”
Crystal was tempted to pinch herself because honestly- this couldn’t be real- but the way Gigi grinned at her, earnest and sweet, brought her back to reality.
Finally realizing that Gigi was still just standing in her doorway, Crystal beckoned for Gigi to come inside as she began pacing around her living room in feverish excitement, talking a mile a minute in her glee, “Thank you again- I- I’m actually gonna cry! Wow! A Trixie Mattel and Katya concert! With a pretty girl at my side! I’m actually gonna cry! Oh my god! This is the dream! My friends are gonna be so jealous! Thank you so so so much!”
Gigi didn’t say anything, though her cheeks went a bit pink at the mention of a pretty girl.
“Jesus Christ, sorry, I’m just so hype right now. Sit down! Sit down! You’re like- the coolest- and also a guest- ignore the mess, I need to clean the house again soon. But wow. I owe you one! Or maybe a thousand! You like coffee? I can take you out for coffee sometime as a thank you! Or like- take you on a shopping spree? Whatever you want really!”
Gigi let Crystal get all her rambling out of her system before she waved her hand, as if dismissing the idea, “You don’t need to take me out for coffee or anything. I’m just happy to know you’re happy, and that we can get along after all. Though…” She tapped her chin as if thinking again, “If you wanna repay me, we can just ya know, consider this concert trip as like… a date… if you’re comfortable with that of course. Wait- are you single?” Her eyes suddenly widened, “I don’t wanna like- hit on you if you’re dating someone!”
Crystal shook her head, surprisingly quick in her response of, “No- don’t worry- I’m single. And uh,” She flashed a smile herself, “I’d love to make it a date.”
“Oh good.” Gigi gave a sigh of relief, her entire face tinted a soft pink, “Then it’s a date?”
“It’s a date.”
Gigi nodded to herself, a silence filling the room before she quickly stammered, “I uh, I was so nervous you were gonna turn me down actually. I mean, I really didn’t show my best side last week so I would’ve understood if you said no.”
The change in Gigi’s demeanor was adorable to see, her more put together persona crumbling to reveal another lesbian who was just as useless as Crystal was. Thank god she wasn’t alone on that boat, “It’s fine, last week was just a fluke. No harm, no foul. And now I can get to know your best side properly- here and on our date at a super cool Trixie concert.” Wow. It felt nice to say all that. Specifically the ‘date at a super cool Trixie concert’ part. 
The relief on Gigi’s face was visible, though it was replaced in a flash by a more nonchalant grin, “I honestly can’t wait. I’ve been listening to her album Barbara on a loop all week, her music really is something else. Sorry I said it was shitty earlier, I assumed you were listening to some stadium country Life is a Highway shit.”
“Life Is a Highway?” Crystal put a hand to her forehead, leaning back overdramatically, “Did you really assume I was the type of person to listen to Life Is a Highway?” She absolutely was, in fact she had a whole playlist dedicated to shitty country songs, but she didn’t need to tell Gigi that, “I thought my gayness was more potent than that.”
“I was a bit too tired and out of it to actually process what you were listening to, to be fair. I just heard the basic thrum of it through my walls and assumed you were some asshole who listens to nothing but country all day everyday. I didn’t even consider you were gay.”
Didn’t consider it? Crystal felt shocked, appalled, and frankly- a bit offended. Was her gay energy lacking? Did she need to start wearing her pride flag earrings 24/7 again like she did in high school?
“Well at least you figured it out now. Though geez, I am a bit offended you assumed I was straight.”
Gigi gave a small laugh, moving to pat Crystal’s shoulder softly in apology, her hand lingering on Crystal’s arm far too long to be anything less than clear flirting, “I stopped assuming when I listened to Trixie’s music thankfully, and then fully knew you were gay when you answered the door today. Your sweater couldn’t be gayer unless it was actually the colors of the goddamn rainbow. It looks ridiculously cute on you actually.”
Alright, fuck Gigi and her ability to fluster Crystal so easily. She couldn’t deal with her and her sweet compliments.
“Thanks Geeg, you look really cute today too.” She paused, stopping to look at Gigi’s outfit before it hit her, “Wait, is your eye makeup the lesbian flag colors? Like in order?”
“Yeah,” Gigi said as if it was obvious, which Crystal supposed it was, “Did you only just notice?”
“I- Maybe- ya know what? Shush. Shut up. Don’t- don’t say anything-”
Gigi made a zipping motion over her mouth, though her amusement was clear as Crystal tried to change the subject hastily.
“Anyway, if you’ve been listening to Trixie Mattel, I gotta ask... What’s your favourite song?
“Girl Next Door.” Gigi said without hesitation, “Duh.”
“Oh good choice, good choice. I mean… If you’re ever feeling bored…”
Gigi rolled her eyes playfully, finishing the lyrics, “I just moved in, I’m the girl next door.”
Crystal winked, “And I’d love to have you on my hardwood floor.”
Gigi cackled, face going scarlet, “You can call me up with love, the girl next door.”
Crystal laughed as well before suddenly dashing to grab her phone, nearly shoving it into Gigi’s hands, “That reminds me though, if we’re gonna have a date and all, can I have your number?”
“Oh of course!” Gigi quickly put in her number, adding a heart next to her contact name before passing the phone back to Crystal, again allowing her touch to linger far too long to be casual, “So now you can hit me up whenever. Though I literally live next door so you can just knock if you want.”
Crystal nodded, “Same here, just knock if my music is too loud or something. I’ve been trying to keep it down prior to noon, so that way I don’t deserve your sleep schedule, fair maiden Gigi.”
Gigi laughed, “I don’t mind if your music is loud- I’m actually really starting to like your taste- and it gives me more reason to stop by and talk to you. Maybe next time we can have lunch together, or a movie night, if that’s alright with you.”
Crystal gave a small laugh, “Of course, I’d never turn down a chance to hang out with such a pretty girl, with such clearly perfect music taste as liking Trixie Mattel. Just stop by whenever.”
Gigi gave a nod in response, suddenly rushing to check her phone before she was rising from her seat, “Oh shit- I have to head out now, I have a call coming in from a friend in a few minutes, but we can chat more later. Maybe turn down your music for the next like hour or so for me if you can, then go back to destroying your ear drums all you want.”
Crystal nodded, throwing up finger guns along with a wink, “Can do. I’ll see you around Gigi.”
Gigi made her way to the door, blowing a kiss to Crystal before moving to leave, “Talk to you soon Crystal, we can discuss the plans for our date later! And remember- if you’re ever feeling bored, I just moved in- I’m the girl next door!”
Crystal felt light on her feet, responding with a cheery, “Couldn’t forget if I tried!” Then just like that, Gigi was gone, and Crystal was dashing to call up her friends to give them the 411 on the cute new girl and her upcoming date to see the Trixie Mattel live. 
And just like Gigi asked, she turned down her music- though after an hour she received a text from the redheaded girl reading:
Gigi <3: You can turn up your music again ;) 
And just like that… Crystal was blasting Trixie Mattel at full volume.
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