#helpy being cute

[springurz]

I think they'd be a good duo :3

Reference pose by mellon_soup

[animatronicabundance-archived]

@lastafton​ asked:  —   Picks   up   Helpy   like   he   Simba      &&      I'm   showing   him   to   the   Pridelands.

There’s a brief moment of confusion on Helpy’s face, but that is quickly replaced by his ears and tail moving with speed. He is so tall now, he could reach all the things like this!  

If only he could be this tall forever as that would mean not having to worry about being stepped on.

[quarterlifekitty]

Something, something, König picking up gaming in his free time, not uncommon for an older guy especially with a cute little thing who has a nice set up for gaming and he absolutely takes to it with flying colours. Kinda pissing you off how he’s gotten leagues better than you at one of your favourites in such a short amount of time. So when that skin you absolutely NEED drops you’re going insane grinding for it. It’s frustrating too because all the sweats have come out of the woodwork to grind for it too, leading to a lot of swearing and groaning on your end, coincidentally, König’s free time aligns and he’s more than happy to help you grind the tougher parts if you sit pretty on his lap and drain his pent cock.

What’s better than two stress relievers when he comes home from a high tension workplace environment?

(Bonus points if he’s your weird online long distance boyfriend who definitely told you an age younger than what’s on his ID and the place he comes home to is just your apartment that he decided was his too.)

Brother. The way this ask is in my mind. I would like to preface this by saying if you or a loved one is playing a video game with microtransactions and limited edition skin drops it’s not too late to get help. We can beat this together.

cw: he’s kind of a creep in this. Red flags abound. Somno/dubcon type stuff

Gonna make a couple of amendments to this one if that’s ok. 1) König is never going to be a god gamer because his hands are too fucking big and also I WANNA BE THE DOMINANT GAMER IN THE RELATIONSHIP. My ass is carrying HIM in apex. I don’t care that he knows how to shoot real guns. Don’t take this away from me

2) while he didn’t outright lie about his age, he did not say shit that would lead you to believe this man was over 40. He shared very few details about his personal life. Just that he was in the military, Austrian, and now? A gamer. Those are all the hallmarks of being a man in his 20s! Except the Austrian thing— that can happen to anyone.

I like to imagine he treats you like his discord kitten tho. You ask how old he is and he’s like “I’m an adult, if that’s what you’re worried about” or “old enough” or “don’t worry about it” and you say “okay 💖 yay 💖”

And he’s 100% your sugar daddy. Constantly buying you games just so you can co-op with him, gifting you in-game currency to spend on battle passes, absolutely ravaging your wishlist— steam, amazon, or otherwise.

He finds himself in your area for work and you tell him your address so he can meet up with you.

And you’re kind of a stupid femcel so when this dude shows up at your door, almost seven feet tall and wearing a surgical mask, scarred face with a healthy grey streak in his hair, it’s not setting off any alarm bells. There’s like at least 5 red flags here but you’re colorblind and inviting him in.

You didn’t realize that he was planning on staying with you while he was in the area. You also didn’t realize that the moment he found out he’d be stationed near you, he decided it was time to take your relationship to the next level.

Which is how you end up stretched out on his cock on the same day that you met in person for the first time, with him grunting in your ear about how he dreamed of this— thought of it every time he jerked off when you fell asleep during a discord call. He could tell just from your voice that you’d be pretty and soft and tight and perfect for him— and he was ready to settle down.

Good thing you didn’t really have any plans for the rest of your life, or you might find how fast he moves a little scary.

So it makes sense that you’re still a little shy. Too nervous to initiate things usually. So he just has to motivate you a little.

This skin’s an exclusive, can’t be earned with currency, and available as a drop for just 7 days. You can’t put in the hours to get it on your own, not to mention how tedious it is, and it can’t be bought. But it’s so cute.

So he makes the offer. He’ll spend his precious leave time helping you earn it if you keep his cock warm while he does it. He’d initially planned on using that time to rearrange your guts, so you’re gonna have to make it worth his while.

And maybe you exaggerate a little. You’re used to saying these things over calls— where nothing has any repercussions in the real world. Where you can promise anything from the safety of being on a screen a world away.

You tell him you’ll let him do whatever he wants to you if he can get that skin for you. After a moment you realize the implications of saying that to someone who can and will hold you down and make out with your cervix using the tip of his cock.

He borrows one of your elastics to tie back his hair.

He’s gonna get you that skin. And then he’s gonna get you pregnant.

You did say anything.

[bi-ss]

~ Ties that bind ~

Bucky x reader- arranged marriage.

Summary: You agreed to arrange marriage when you were little, after seeing who you are to marry. You wish you could go back.

Warning- drinking? None i can't think of.

(Spelling may be bad as I'm very dyslexic sorry in advance)

You've been staying in your bestfriends apartment for 2 days now, you've just had more time to think about what will become of your life, you didn't get as many texts from James as you thought when you went to bed around 11PM but oh lord when you woke up it wouldn't stop going off, in all truth your phone died and you fell asleep with it on charge.

"Omg, would you turn that off.. It's 6:30, i love you, but not that much.." your friend groaned as she walked over to your phone to turn it off seeing you still in your make shift bed, you were about to get up and go get coffee but a 'huh' your friend made caught your attention.

"What? If it's something stupid, imma smack you so hard.." You look at your now bright screen to see unread texts coming through from an unknown caller, you picked it up and started reading some, with her reading over your shoulder, your were confused at first because you didn't know who it was but when finding out who thought it would be an amazing idea to text you at an ungodly time, but you soon figured it out, it was james.

You were annoyed at not only did he get home at 1am close to 2 so you would have been there for hours on your own but because he was the last person you wanted to talk to.

Rolling your eyes you went on with your life, making and drink a cup of coffee then getting ready to attend a fashion show, you weren't walking but you were invited with front row seats and couldn't pass it up, and there was have after party which you managed to get your friend into aswell somehow, so a minimum of 6 hours away from James and all the stress in the world.

"I wonder if theres cute guys there? I hope so. Ugh, after me and Josh broke up, I've been so lonely.. in bed, of course, i dont want commitment!" You watch as your best friend since college, Chloe, yapped about boys while realising for the 4th time today what's going to change when you marry James, "have you seen Joshs new girlfriend, I think we went to high school with her.. shes nice..." As she continues to gossip while doing makeup, you zone out and think about your life until she claps, getting your attention once again, "you know what?! I'm happy for Josh. I'm happy being single. He's happy being non single." She smiled at you."You should be happy you're marrying one of the most richest and most powerful men in America, probably the world, maybe.." You just nod and smile at her. You don't know if you are smiling because she's smiling or if what she said was correct, you're sure you'll find out.

While driving to the fashion show, the topic of James was brought up, "if I were marrying him, I'd be in his bed so fast," Chloe stated for the 38th time. "Is it true? The rumours about his arm, that's is.. no doubt the rumours about his dick aren't false -" You zone out from your friends rant about James when your phone screen lit up from a text... his text.. one after the other..

You zoned back in to hear chloe talking about Zeon. In all fairness, you didn't know who he was, but also, she hadn't spoken about him til now, or you think so? You were about to ask who he was until you see a modern building with lots of windows and a weird looking woman statue but with no curves and all straight lines and spikes, it did make you uncomfortable in an unspeakable way but you got out of the car and walked past it while looking down, you walked up to the bouncer you, showing your Ids and was let in, after the man blocking the door with a clipboard questioned chloe about if she was in the right place or not.

You were seated towards the end of the runway, which you didn't mind, but what you did mind was the constant camera flash some for the models but mostly for you.. that isn't helping you stay away from James, but you do like attention. The event was over later than you expected as some older women went on a rant about how fashion changed and how it was disturbing now or whatever.

You parked in a 24/7 parking zone and walked a little over 10 minutes for the after party that was already in full swing when you got there, heading straight towards the bar with chloe walking close behind to order a mocktail since you dont drink often but over to your left chloe was downing tequila shots like water, that wasn't surprising but what was surprising was when she ordered a cocktail and sent it your way, she knows you don't drink but looking around and seeing all the lady's glancing at you knowingly you thought this was one of the rare occasions where you will drink, and drink you did.

You knew from the start that marrying James Barnes wouldn't be easy from all his "fans" who are just girls throwing themselves on him but finding out he has a girlfriend? A whole other can of worms you didn't realise opened but the girls at this club were a new level of bitchy, like one tried spilling her red wine on you but ended up missing and it went over the lad next to you who weren't amused at all or when you were dancing with chloe and some other chick tried tripping you but you stepped over her foot unknowingly but 30 seconds later you did almost trip yourself up, but that's about the last thing you remember apart from getting more drink and getting hit on some else happening then dancing on someone or dancing on your companion.

But you do know 1 thing for certain is that you've woken up with a massive banging head ache in a warm bed, half dressed and with what you assumed someone sleeping next to you as they haven't moved, unless they're watching you sleep?

(Lol sorry i hadn't been posting i just moved, lmao, so that's taken most of my time)

TAGS: @learis @unaxv @cjand10 @pattiemac1 @coffee-winter-and-silence @scott-loki-barnes @blackhawkfanatic

[daydream-believin]

Like a Boiled Frog (you don't even scream) [Ch. 5]

[Start Here] + [Next Chapter]

Chapter Summary: Test out fun things like ball pits and claw machines. Meet your fellow members of the Fazbear Family. Realize you've made yourself like, the platonic ideal of a potential cold case homicide. Oops.

Warnings: swearing. animal death? neither of the animals that die are animals. and neither of them actually die...

Word count: 4602

A/n: sorry it took me a little longer but, it's longer now. happy thanksgiving break!

Taglist: @spirit-of-the-hollow

You rest your head against the newly painted wall. The other employees flitted around, but you didn’t care. It’s your break and you’re gonna rest, goddamnit.

“Bloody hell. This holiday rush might shut us down before we even get a proper go at it,”

You had no idea when Michael sidled up next to you, but you didn’t even startle at the sound of his voice. You were too damn tired to care.

“Not gonna lie, kinda worried about when those two go home in half an hour and it’s just going to be me, you, and the trash gang,” you gestured to the dining room in front of you, “Because this clearly isn’t calming down anytime soon,”

“Yeah, I really underestimated just how many people would want pizza at 10 o’clock at night. Lucky for us, we just ran out of dough,”

“Oh goody. So we get to go home?”

Relief wasn’t even the word to describe it.

“Well,” Michael rubbed the back of his neck,

 “Not exactly…”

__

Last night had been so fun! Now that Helpy was up, y’all got to finishing testing out all the games in the arcade. Which wasn’t much, since most of the cabinets were still out of working order, but beside the air hockey table there were a few claw machines. And a ‘ball pit’…

That goddamn cardboard box of balls. You hated ball pits normally. Ball pits, foam pits, pillow pits, any type of pit children hurl themselves into like lemmings, really. But this thing put Dashcon to shame. You wouldn’t be surprised if someone had somehow pissed in it even though it was brand new and hadn’t been exposed to the public yet. This thing’s aura just felt that horrible.

So of course Michael thought it a grand idea to throw Helpy into it.

In his defense, the robot had practically begged him. Even though the little guy couldn’t speak as much as just make noises, he was very persuasive. To be honest, it was pretty cute watching Helpy get so excited at the prospect of doing exactly what he was made to do, help. And he was the only person in the room who feasibly could test the ball pit. So after watching him wade around in there for a bit, you thought nothing of the bear climbing back into Michael’s arms and miming to ask to be tossed back in.

“You wanna jump? Okay, one, two—“ the little bear looked determined as Michael wound up to throw him, “THREE!”

Helpy flew through the air, eyes wide and squeaking in glee.

And then,

CRACK.

You just stood there with your mouth open, staring in disbelief at the sight before you. Beside you Michael whispered a small, “Oh shit…”

Neither of you said a word as you stared at Helpy’s now limp and lifeless body. You could hear your heartbeat.

RIP Helpy, alive for an hour before he broke his little neck. He died doing what he loved: being hurled into ball pits.

Initial shock over with, this was actually pretty funny, and you were trying so very hard not to bust out into laughter. You know, considering this meant another headache for Mike as he would have to fix the robot now. He might not appreciate your entertainment in this situation.

Michael deeply sighed. A bloody shame. And more work.

“NOOooo, little guy!” You approached the little robot, shaking your head as you stared down at him.

You reached a hand down to start picking him up off the floor when Helpy jolted back to life, a loud cartoon ding! playing, promptly giving you a heart attack.

As you clutched at your chest, Helpy got back to his feet and dusted himself off.  He looked up to chirp at you and Mike, giving a thumbs-up with another silly little sound effect to assure you he was all good.

Well, at least you can breathe again at this point. Some Looney Tunes ass shit that Mike’s programmed here. Geez.

Michael gave Helpy a quick check-up to see what he broke but the little robot had only sustained a few scratches and a loose wire here and there, nothing major thanks to Mike’s excellent craftsmanship. Helpy was just as chipper as ever. No harm no foul.

The claw machine tests were a lot less eventful.

Well, no, that’s a lie. After the initial tests proved all four of the machines worked, it quickly became a competition to see which of you could actually win without maintenance-mode turned on.

Spoiler alert. It was Michael. The lucky bastard.

He not only won, either, he got multiple wins as you continued to try, determined to show him you could at least get one. If you were using actual money and not just Fazcoins that Mikey had a bucket of, you’d have already spent a highschool kid’s hard-earned part-timer paycheck. Good thing this is fake and the stakes are so low. But this was about honor at this point.

He leaned against the glass of the machine, smugly watching as you struggled. He had his arms crossed with that cocky smirk you noticed he had whenever you played the arcade games together. You know, in the all-of-two instances that’s happened. The colorful lights of the machine bounced off his features, giving him a bit of a glow as he snickered when you failed once again. Kinda distracting, in combination with the annoying ass carnival music the machine played. It’s kinda cheating. Yeah.

As the loud “you lose” tone played once again, Mikey laughed full-bellied, shoulders shaking, “C’mon, mate. Give up. I don’t think you’re going to do it tonight,”

“No. You shut up,” you childishly stuck your tongue out at him, “I’m going to get it this time, new strategy,”

Michael rolled his eyes, “Sure,”

He’d already won three times, so getting this one wasn’t going to win you the little war you two had. There was technically no point. But you still really really wanted to win at least once. Some kind of driving factor here. Maybe you wanted to wipe that smug grin off his face. Maybe you were trying to impress him. Who knows.

What you did know, however, was that by some miracle, the claw was actually working for you. You stared in disbelief as it dragged the stuffed animal across the air and didn’t drop it this time. You didn’t even realize you had been holding your breath until the “you win!” jingle was loudly blaring from the machine.

“…I did it?” you turned to Michael, “I did it!”

You held up your hand for a high five. He laughed and shook his head in disbelief as he met your hand with his.

“Well I’ll be,” that sounded strange coming from his accent. Mike came around to pat you on the shoulder, “you actually won,”

“You better watch out, I’ll start practicing and give you a run for your money soon,”

“Oh sure,” He bent to pick up the stuffed animal from the prize cubby to put in back in the machine, “I’m SO scare—“

In his hands lied good ol’ psychic friend Fredbear.

Oh. You kinda forgot all about him, busy with Michael. Whoops.

“…I think we should call it a night,” Michael’s voice was now devoid of all playfulness as he turned the plushy around in his hands.

“… Yeah.” you answered dumbly.

Michael started walking off, expecting you to follow. Which you did, of course. Damn. Already in some sort of routine here.

You two made your way to the restaurant’s office, of which you remembered from earlier today when Mike told you it was off-limits and you should never go in there without him. Ominous.

When he opened the door, it just got stranger. It looked like any ordinary run-of-the-mill office. As long as you looked straight forward. If you looked to either side of the room, however, there were GIGANTIC FUCKING VENTILATION OPENINGS?? Like a fully grown adult person could get in there easily without having to crawl on their belly like a snake. An elementary schooler could get in there and run around.

“What in hell—“

“Don’t ask. Explaining it would take way too much time and energy,”

“That’s cryptid as fuck but okay,” you’d pick a different battle than this.

Michael gently placed the Fredbear plushy down on top of the printer, “You comfy Fredbear?”

The stuffed bear did not answer.

“That’s great! Goodnight buddy,”

Michael pushed past you to leave but you stayed there in the doorway, transfixed on the doll. Its eyes bore into you, just like they always did. You really should bring Fredbear home with y—

“Come on!” Michael called to you from the front door.

You shook your head, trance broken, “Yeah!”

You shut the door tightly behind you, even though you knew it wouldn’t make a difference if the haunted plush wanted to be somewhere else. It was more for you than anything.

You almost ran through the door Michael was holding open for you.

Ah, but once in the car, you couldn’t help but be curious and get on Mike’s nerves. As you do.

You turned down the radio to talk, “So. You don’t want your dead baby brother’s bear in the house?”

“Absolutely not. Once you invite them in, they won’t leave you alone,”

Well, that was in fact the deal with ghosts, so you could see it, but,

“You don’t want to be haunted by your own dead brother?”

He sighed, “Look, I’ve already been there, okay? He doesn’t even— and that other little freak’s probably with him too so— I don’t—  It’s not like a fun family bonding experience, Y/n,”

You could give him that. And truth be told, you were tired of living in haunted houses. At least Michael’s place seemed to only be haunted by one singular ghoul, himself. You could handle that. You weren’t sure you could handle more though, so maybe he’s right.

Maybe he’s really right. Why were you even arguing against this? Hoo boy. This godforsaken town is making you crazier already.

Speaking of more ghosts, did he say ‘that other little freak’? There’s two? Did Evan’s ghost have a friend? Strange, you had gotten the impression that the spirit was lonely, like you. And like, that’s why he’s haunting you, right? It was all just more to the mystery. And you didn’t want to be dealing with that mystery 24/7. You and Michael aren’t the Scooby-Doo gang.

“…You’re right.”

Michael sighed and adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. Reaching over, he turned the radio back up.

You wanted to ask him more about the supposed second ghost, but he looked so tense, his knuckles gripping the steering wheel so tightly. Eyes locked forward. It’s probably a conversation that can be had later. It’s not like you’ll be able to forget about it.

 The rest of the ride home was silent.

—

You padded out of the bathroom, now in your official “Fazbear uniform” (Just a red button up with the black jeans you had already been wearing when you rolled into town. You technically didn’t work there so it’s not like you had a uniform shirt or a nametag or any of that) and ready to start your first day at the pizzeria. The pizzeria’s first day at the pizzeria too. Excited wasn’t really the word, but you sure were feeling ready for the onslaught of opening day.

As you made your way into the kitchen, you were met with the sight of one zombie man reading the news on his laptop at the table. Dressed very nicely for the occasion, Michael had on a muted cyan button down with the addition of a gold vest and a navy tie. Dark grey slacks. You know the outfit. Hoo boy. Men in vests. Damn you wish you could wolf whistle.

“Whew-ee, someone’s looking spiffy,” you smirked as you made your way to the table, “we need to take a picture to commemorate the moment, chh-ch,” you mimed taking a snapshot.

“Stop. I look fine,” he grumbled, continuing to read the article about the zoo’s latest baby otter so he didn’t have to look at you.

You noticed that along with his name tag, which said “Manager Mike”, he also had a few vintage looking buttons displaying the faces of the characters pinned to his lapel. Cute.

You hefted yourself onto the tabletop to sit, now looking down at him, “I know. That’s what I said. You look fine,”

Mike finally pulled his attention away from the news to look up at you. He just stared, so after a while you raised your eyebrows in question. He broke away, shaking his head a bit.

“I’m sorry. I—“, he suddenly got very interested in the floor tiles, “I guess I’m just not used to compliments, genuine ones, at least,”

Dammit. You really wish Michael had a working circulatory system. What you wouldn’t give to see this man blush.

But. That’s also really sad. What’s been going on in this poor zombie man’s personal life all these years. You had a sneaking suspicion you knew, with a reaction like that. It was all too familiar.

“That’s okay.. Uh, me—me neither,” you checked your watch to avoid having to look at him this time, “Oh, we need to go. Like right now. We’ll be late,”

Michael stood up at your words, clearly eager to leave this awkward conversation, and offered you a hand to help you get down. Which you didn’t need, because like, you just had to slide off the table and onto your feet. Easy.

But that’s an excuse to hold your hand, isn’t it?

Eh. You might just be making mountains out of molehills here…

——

On the short drive to the pizzeria, Michael almost hit a dog.

Or at least. You hope it was a dog. It had to be a dog… The way it dragged its limp body away into a bush.. So unnaturally… You shivered at the thought…

Well, nevermind all that!

Things were pretty normal before the employees arrived. Just you and Mike doing some last-minute cleaning, such as vacuuming up all the gypsum flecks that had made its way to the dining room floor during reno. Once the kids did get there, though, then things got a little funny. Henry had made up a mask to help Michael blend in more with the aforementioned not-dead people. Although, you personally thought a silly white bear mask made him stick out more. But whatever works.

Oh you needed to see him interact with Helpy when he had the mask on, actually. It would be adorable.

So, about those not-dead people.

You finally got to meet Vanessa and Travis. Turns out they were real after all. Silly you for doubting.

Vanessa was a sweet girl, and very excited to start her first job because it made her feel “all grown up” as she told you while you helped her put all the chairs down in the dining room.

Apart from the regular Fazbear uniform, she had a gajillion kandi bracelets on her wrists over a pair of long fingerless gloves. Like Mike, she also had a bunch of Fazbear character buttons, but these looked much newer. Maybe she got them from her older siblings or just a goodwill in the area. Who knows. To top off the look, her fluffy blond hair had some raccoon rainbow highlights, just so her friends will think she’s dynamite~. Or something.

Travis was. Definitely a guy. Look up “white guy stock image” and then put a red Fazbear uniform shirt onto him. There you go. That’s Travis. Mike had him prepping in the kitchen, so you didn’t see much of him. And he’s probably not important, so let’s skip over him.

One person you had been waiting to meet, however, was not there. The ever-mysterious Uncle Henry. Elusive too, it seemed. You don’t know what you were picturing. Not an older Michael, since you knew Henry was the stepdad. The dad who stepped up. Maybe a humanized Freddy? Guess it’ll remain a mystery.

Right after the clock struck 10:00am, just an hour before opening, Michael came out of his office, keys in hand, muttering to himself. You watched him turn about the room to get his bearings, secretly entertained at how silly he looked in that bear mask. Once he spotted you and Vanessa, he made his way for the dining room to talk to y’all, hanging in the doorway,

“Vanessa, you’re in charge while I’m out,”

Vanessa quickly put up her hand in salute, promising that she wouldn’t let him down.

Well. Okay then. That kinda stung. He trusted this teenager more than you? Fine then y—

“Y/n, c’mon let’s go,” he waved his hand towards the door, expecting you to leave with him.

Oh. Okay… Alright. You could vibe with that. Cool mystery errand time. Hopefully it’s not something insane like hiding a body, but hey, if it was, then that means Mike extra trusts you.

Thankfully he took off that stupid bear mask while in the car. Probably way too hot to keep it on, but you liked to think that he just felt comfortable as himself around you. That being said, you get the feeling that if you had met him a little later than you did, when he was wearing the mask, he probably wouldn’t be as confident. Maybe even terrified of letting you see him like this…

Thankfully, none of that mattered.

It wasn’t too long, just about fifteen minutes, before you were pulling into the driveway of some random house in a more rural part of town. The house was pretty big and looked like it was probably fancy too once upon a time. But time had taken its toll on the place by now. A flipper would have a field day turning this thing into a soulless modern home.

Michael visibly tensed up as he pulled into the driveway. You put a hand on his shoulder, attached to the arm still strangling the steering wheel. His eyes darted to yours as you made contact, and he looked about ready to go into fight or flight, so you didn’t break it.

“Hey,” you moved your thumb slowly along his bicep, trying to calm him down, “I don’t know what’s in there, but at least you’ve got backup.”

He continued to stare you down.

You pointed to your chest, “Me. I’m the backup,”

He broke away from eye contact, shaking his head in exasperation, “Yes, I know... This— This is just a lot… I try to stay away from here as much as humanly possible,”

You rubbed his shoulder gently, as you didn’t quite know what would hurt him at this point, or at least accidentally break his skin. He had to be pretty fragile. Pretty easy to rip apart. In fact you weren’t entirely sure how he was even being held together in the first place. Magic, you guessed… or dismissed, more like it.

“I can go, uh, do whatever you need to do, so you don’t have to—,” you began.

“No,” he cut you off, “He won’t open the door for you, might try to shoot you, even. He doesn’t know you,”

“Ah, yeah, you’re right I…” you rubbed the back of your neck, “I keep forgetting none of this is any of my business… Wait, I’m sorry he might what?”

Mike let out a pained chuckle, “It’s fine,” he rubbed the bridge of his nose, “it’s not like he’s going to open the door for me either,”

Well, apparently Michael isn’t too worried about the “the person inside has a gun” part. So it’s probably fine, like he said. Probably…

Man, you’ve been putting a lot of trust in a zombie you met like three days ago.

Hmmm. Well. It’s not like you have anything to lose here. At least when you die it can be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Michael knocked very loudly and deliberately on the door, and then rang the doorbell in what could be presumed was a pattern, but maybe it was just random bell spam because he was angry. No one came to open the door, but you heard a lot of scuffling about from behind it.

Mike pulled out his cell phone and started calling. It apparently took too long for the other person to pick up, as he rolled his eyes in impatience.

“Yes, it’s really me. Open the bloody door.”

He aggressively pressed [End Call]. You could tell this man missed having a physical receiver to slam the phone into.

“Did you just have to Two-Factor Authentication this motherfucking door?”

Michael’s deep sigh gave you all the information you needed. Okay, so maybe you are doing an Insane Errand.

The door swung open swiftly, revealing a dark room beyond it. Kinda reminded you of the spring-loaded quickness of the entrance to a possum trap. You actually didn’t want to go in there, you know because of the threatening aura, but Michael boldly walked right in, unbothered. You followed, disciple that you are at this point.

The first thing you noticed was the smell. It was reminiscent of Mike’s place, dust and motor oil and smoke and stale beer. And thus, like Mike’s place, there was a sense of nostalgia to it.

Second, it was pretty dark, but what you did see of the furniture was dated. It was like this place was a time capsule. The living room looked as if it were imported straight from the 70’s. And just like Mike’s place it was covered in various mechanical parts and half-assed machines. Prototypes, as they were called in proper English.

And then you noticed the feral old man holding a whole ass crossbow. At least it wasn’t pointed at you but. Damn. Perhaps Mr. Henry Emily? Considering Mike told you he doesn’t have that large of a social circle. Still. This could be a dealer. You never know.

This heavily armed senior citizen was disheveled, with oil stains on his clothes. The way he stood, ready to flee or pounce at any sudden movement, reminded you of a cat. One of those big fluffy cats that could use a good brushing.

Michael sighed, “I suppose it’s stupid to ask but do you think you could work the restaurant for the weekend? We’re short-staffed and I need all the help I can get.”

Mr. crossbow left a pregnant pause with an icy glare, “… I think we both know why that’s a bad idea, Michael,” he gestured towards you, “Besides, you’ve got an extra hand with Mx. L/n here,”

Okay. So context clues here are really pointing towards Henry. At least you hoped. Although, this wasn’t exactly the cordial man you had been picturing. The kinda man who walks around in a yellow bear suit and talks to kids in a goofy voice. That man was not present at the moment. Even as you stood in his dark and dusty bear cave. It's like that with bears, you guess. You linger too long, or hurt their cubs, or just for the hell of it and suddenly, you were dead. But-- no. Even now, Henry Emily didn't look like the kind of man to kill for the hell of it. Not a polar bear, then.

“A person with a single day of training will be nowhere near as useful as you would,” Michael shot you an apologetic look in an afterthought, “No offense Y/n,”

“None taken!” you weren’t gonna pretend like you were a hot new player in the pizzeria game.

Michael ran an exhausted hand through his hair, “It would just be a lot less stressful if you were there, just briefly. Just through the rushes.”

“Those are the worst times. Think of the foot traffic.” Mr. Crossbow crossed his arms. He looked pretty cross. (ouchie stop throwing stuff at me I’ll stop okay)

Mike took a calming breath with his hands clasped tight in front of him, and yeah, you couldn’t blame him. That was quite literally a ‘yes that’s the whole point’ statement.

“Look, you can work the kitchen the entire time, that way you only have to interact with a few people,” he pleaded.

Henry grumbled, “You know Jeremy never complained when he was short-staffed.”

“Jeremy’s MISSING HIS FRONTAL LOBE,”

Uh. Hopefully that’s unrelated to his position as a Fazbear employee. But you know it’s not. Not even a ‘deep down you knew’ nah the shallowest part of you knows.

You glanced over at Michael again, all undead and stuff. Shit…

“You know what? FINE.” Mike announced as he stalked off towards the kitchen, “where are the damn tapes?” which was perhaps a rhetorical question as he clearly knew they were in the kitchen.

And this left you alone with Henry. Or at least, you thought it was Henry. Probably should ask. You know, like a real person does.

“Henry Emily, I presume?” you held out your hand.

He eyed you suspiciously. Shit. If this ain’t him that’s awkward. At least he shook your hand.

“You would be correct, Y/n L/n,” oh thank God.

“I’m crashing at Mike’s place for a bit,”

“So I’ve heard,” he looked you up and down, like he was taking measurements for your coffin, “… Y/n M/n L/n. twenty-[X]-year-old runaway, far from home. 15-year-old car, not running a tab at any motel. You don’t have a cell phone on you, do you?”

“Um, no?”

“No one knows where you are.” A statement, not a question.

“Uhh—” this was starting to get creepier.

“There was only five, right?” Oh blessed Michael the angel here to rescue you.

“That’s all of them.” Henry replied shortly like he wasn’t just listing out all the reasons they could bury you in the backyard tomorrow without drawing any suspicion whatsoever.

You held out your hands to take some of the tapes Mike was carrying. They didn’t look heavy or anything, but you really needed something to do with your hands. And you needed to feel useful right now. For some unknown reason. He passed a couple to you, sensing this.

“Alright, c’mon Y/n, let’s go,”

You freed up a hand to wave to Henry, “It was nice meeting you, sir,” you lied.

“Likewise,”

“Yeah, bye Henry,” Michael didn’t look back as he shepherded you towards the door.

How much of that did he hear, you wonder. Probably all of it. It wasn’t that big of a house.

“I’m sorry about that,”

Yeah, Mikey heard.

“Um,” you didn’t know how to phrase this politely, “He wasn’t like, threatening me, right?”

Michael made a noncommittal gesture, “Honestly? He could totally have been. But he also just talks like that normally. So who knows,”

“I would like to know,”

He playfully shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. It’s probably fine.”

“Probably isn’t—sigh. Okay,” again, at least you’ll wind up on Buzzfeed Unsolved, “Well, do you think he liked me at all?”

“That I also have no clue about,”

“Then I choose to believe that he thought I was the coolest person in his dark cave of a living room,”

Michael chuckled and rolled his eyes, “Oh, I’m sure that’s true. In those exact words too,”

The pizzeria came in view. Still in one piece and not on fire. So far so good. No immediate disaster. Vanessa did a good job as acting manager. In the all-of-forty-five minutes she was in charge—

Uh. Perhaps you jinxed her, because as soon as you two walked through the door, Vanessa came running into the room like the world’s most nervous cheetah. And that’s saying something, cheetahs are naturally nervous. Her blonde hair was in disarray, little rainbow sprigs sticking out here and there.

“Oh good! You guys are back!”

Her cheerful tone died, “Please help us.”

[roboticspacecase]

Billdip kiss 44

44. Kiss...of Lust

"What do you think of this one?" Dipper did a small spin in front of his bed where his boyfriend sat. The blond looked up from his phone, told to keep his eyes off of the other until he was done changing.

"I think you look like a big ass nerd," Bill snorted.

"You've said that every time, it's getting old." Dipper pouted, his arms falling to his side with a loud huff. "I just want to get my Frodo costume right, and you're being no help. You've seen the movies a couple of times with me, you should know which cape and pants look the best. But if you really don't want to help me, then you can just go downstairs and wait for me to be done."

Bill chuckled and stood up from the bed. "You want to know what I really think of your costumes?"

Dipper threw his hands up in frustration, rolling his eyes. "That's the whole reason I asked you to come up-" His sentence came to an abrupt end when Bill mashed their lips together, the other's arms wrapping around him and trapping Dipper against him. "That's not helpi-!" another kiss stopped him, and all Dipper could do was huff and lean into his hold.

"I think your nerd shit is so fucking hot, Dipper," Bill growled out. "You're so cute, it's not fair. All I can think about is how cute you are, and how cute you'll be when you take those clothes off and get fucked into the mattress because I won't be able to stop myself."

Dipper's boiling blood filled his cheeks, painting his face red. "O-oh?" he forced out. "I didn't- I mean, you're... Wait, are you into the dress-up part of this? Do you want to fuck Frodo?"

"What?" Bill laughed, unable to keep a straight face. "I just told you how much I think you being a nerd is cute, and you think I want to fuck Frodo Bag- Baggage? Bagger?"

"It's Baggins! We just went over this, you've seen the movies like ten times!"

Bill shook his head. "Right, whatever. That's my exact point, though, Pine Tree. What do you think I'm looking at when we watch those? The cool elves and fights? Sometimes. But most of my attention is on you. When you're so fixated by it that all that those big, beautiful doe eyes of yours do is gloss over. The way you mumble the movie trivia like it's a muscle reflex that you can't stop. Or how you idly reach out to grab my hand when the characters are in peril, even though you already know they'll be okay." He pressed their lips together again, rougher than the first two times. "You're so passionate, it just makes me want to throw you on the bed and give that passion right back."

Words failed to find Dipper's lips, the lump in his throat and dry tongue refusing to form a single one. All he could muster was a nod before he pushed himself forward, mashing their lips together again.

Their make out session left Dipper with tangled hair and strained lungs. His cosplay had wrinkled, but it stayed on as the blond retreated back to the bed.

"Anyway, I guess you could say no matter what you put on, I'm going to like it. And we know now that I have no idea which cape looks better." Bill settled back into the spot he had been before, pulling out his phone once more.

Dipper huffed, taking his cape off and tossing it at the other. "You're going to give me that big speech, feel me up, then just leave me high and dry? What the hell!"

Bill shrugged. "I know you want to figure this out first. So, find the right outfit, then I can truly appreciate your nerdiness and fuck you until you forget which outfit was the one you picked. Then we can do this all over again, and we'll both be left happy in the end. Like the movies. I think. Those end happy, right?"

"I mean, yeah, pretty happy, but you...!" With no real argument to give, Dipper sighed and went back into his closet, sifting through his many different cosplay options. "Fine. Costume first. Then you'd better not be lying about the rest of what you said."

"Trust me," Bill laughed, tilting his phone in a way that made Dipper realize he had been snapping pictures the entire time, "your cute nerdiness will be rewarded plenty later."

[the-girl-with-the-glass-heart]

Alright since the barbie movie and fnaf movie are coming out this year, imagine a barbie version of the fnaf movie like how there was a barbie version of rapunzel, the three musketeers, and princess and the pauper. It would be called "Barbie in Five night's at Freddy's", and it's exactly like those classic barbie movies we all grew up with. There's musical numbers in the pizzeria, barbie dances alot, William acts basically like preminger from the princess and the pauper the whole time.

Barbie plays the role of Micheal in the story (now genderswapped to micheala) and all the animatronics look like the scary ass barbie animals with hyper realistic creepy eyes and contoured faces. I'm imagining freddy and golden freddy lookin like the dogs from barbie and the diamond castle. Her love interest is jeremy Fritzgerald (played by ken, obviously). It opens with her telling the story to her little sister who's sad nobody came to her birthday party and ends with a generic happy ending and "You're not alone" message after the pizzeria burns down. Despite the fact it makes no sense for the time line Helpy is there at the beggining as her cute animal side kick.

Instead of Willaim being horribly abusive he's just mean and very controlling towards Micheala. She doesn't even die when the pizza place burns down, she just has a wedding with Jeremy at the end, and all the ghost children appear to say goodbye.

Oh and you bet your ass springtrap gets a barbie villain song like "How can i refuse" or "Love is for peasants".

[the-faketiccit0by]

Okay, so... What if Helpy sees Lunar first?! Like Lunar's just chillin' running around the Pizzaplex like he always does... Not paying that much attention to anyone... Little does he know... A very techy and kinda smartass pink and white Bear with cute lil glasses is watching Lunar with a clipboard from afar... Not being able to get his work done because he keeps following Lunar around being distracted by his adorableness and (in Helpy's opinion) basking in Lunar's beautifulness

[tzitzimitl-eztli]

is Helpy Funtime Freddy's cub? If he is it's super cute that he's copying Bon Bon by hitching a ride

He is the youngest of all the little ones, being a bear cub he tries to imitate everyone, he is very smart to be the youngest

He is the youngest of all the little ones, being a bear cub he tries to imitate everyone, he is very smart to be the younger ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

[civilgroupie-gvf]

The Boy in The Band

Chapter 9: Your song 

Josh Kiszka X Reader 

Summary: Josh’s mom throws you a baby shower, Sam wears a diaper, and the boys give you really thoughtful gifts. 

*Fluff the house down boots mama*

Being eight months pregnant is not for the faint of heart. You tried to get a glimpse of your swollen, throbbing feet but only saw the horizontal curvature of your enormous stomach. A large yellow button shimmered near your left shoulder that said “MOM”. Josh had disappeared a suspiciously long time into the house while you waited in the center of Karen and Kelly’s back yard. It was full of spectators, all wearing buttons that either said XX or XY in reference to what they hoped the sex of the baby would be. Sam, however, refused to partake in the gender binary and placed a sticky note with the word “baby” where the button was supposed to go. Karen had chosen yellow as the main color with decorations loosely based on Winnie the Pooh. Karen shared with everyone she chose yellow, not only because it’s the traditional gender-neutral color but because Elton John had told her it was his favorite color at the party the boys had recently performed at. “Who knows! Maybe there’s yet another rock star in the family.” Karen said followed by a soft chuckle. Tiny jars of honey sat at the table near the sliding door with labels that said, “Y/N and Josh’s Baby shower” with the date. A fancy (and frankly oversized) chocolate fountain sat at the center of the pastry table surrounded by fresh fruit and pretzels for dipping. The rest of the table was patterned with cupcakes, made graciously by Jita and Ronnie who were finishing up frosting the last batch in the kitchen. Finally, you heard a familiar rhythm of steps.

“I brought you a snack!” Josh said catching his breath. “And your vitamins.”

“Did you run all the way home for them?” You joked.

“Basically.” Josh admitted in a bashful tone. “You forgot them on the bedside table.”

“So you drove all the way home for them?” You asked in shock. 

“That’s so cute.” Danny said with his usual sincere and warm smile.

“What? What did he do?” Sam looked up from his phone demanding to be filled in.

“Maybe you should stop texting all your girlfriends and pay attention.” Danny told Sam. 

“Ever since my OBGYN told us I need to increase my prenatal vitamins, Josh has been on me. I’m so grateful too because baby brain is no joke. I have the memory of a goldfish lately.” You explained.

“She also said if you eat raw almonds as a snack right before, your body will absorb more of the vitamins.” Josh repeated the doctor’s orders verbatim.  

“I think Josh is practicing his daddy skills with Y/N!” Kelly shouted and all the guests began to laugh.

Everyone was present from the twins’ and Danny’s family to Charlotte, Beverly, and some other people from the GVF team. Your mom had made the drive for the shower and was seemingly hitting it off with everyone quite nicely.

“Oh leave him alone.” Karen waved her hand at Kelly in a gentle attempt to get the festivities started once and for all. After you ate your almonds and took your vitamins, you were asked to judge a variety of games. One of the games required partners of two to race in dressing one of the partners in a baby costume. The costume being comically large diapers Karen found at Party City, a baby bonnet, a bib and a pacifier. The only catch being they had to run across the yard and grab one item at a time and put it on before running back for the next one. 

The teams were naturally split into existing couples such as Jake and Jita, Danny and Beverly, Karen and Kelly. However Ronnie and Sam wanted to play and decided to pair up. The race began. Kelly and Karen took turns running back and forth, adding an item of baby clothes onto Kelly as they went. Jake and Jita went with a similar approach except Jita was the one wearing the costume. Danny had decided to run back and forth citing his incredible endurance, bringing Beverly each item of clothing, and helping her into them. You knew very well Danny was just being a gentleman so Beverly wouldn’t have to get all sweaty. For Sam and Ronnie’s team, Ronnie declared seniority and told Sam he had to bite the bullet and wear a diaper. While every team started with the diaper, Sam and Ronnie started with the easiest item, being the pacifier, and worked their way up. The diaper had proved to be difficult to get into, for the other teams, but having it out of the way allowed them to zoom through the remainder of the race. Sam and Ronnie were dead last. At the final countdown, Ronnie and Sam scrambled to get him into the diaper except Sam’s scrawny legs couldn’t hold it up. In a hilarious attempt to get the diaper adjusted to his waist, Sam laid on the ground while Ronnie pulled at the Velcro of each side bringing the diaper in before securing it again. Jake and Jita exclaimed in excitement when they had managed to beat everyone. Sam groaned, still laying on the ground like a giant toddler.

“What did we win?” Jake asked in a hurry.

“Isn’t bragging rights enough?” Jita playfully elbowed Jake.

“No.” Jake answered laughing.

Karen pulled out a box of roman candles and handed them to the winning couple with as much ceremony as if it was a golden Oscar.

“Aw man! That’s such a cool prize!” Sam whined after pulling the pacifier out of his mouth and getting up from the ground.

“You are so baby.” Josh teased.

“And for wahhh…” Jake added. The image of Sam in a diaper tickled Kelly especially, evidenced by his inability to stop cackling, arms crossed over his belly in joyful pain.

As the baby shower came to an end, people began to go home. Karen began to bring over all the presents for you to open.

Sam’s gift was a gigantic box of newborn diapers, and a tiny newborn size T shirt that said, “Future bassist.” Jake scoffed audibly.

“Don’t start.” Karen said through a smile and gritted teeth.

Jake and Jita’s gift came in a huge box full of packing peanuts that confettied onto the floor as Josh helped you pull out a child-sized electric guitar and a small amp.

“This is precious.” You said admiring the cherry red varnish as it glistened in the golden patio light.

It wasn’t long before Sam and Danny took turns playing on the amusingly small guitar.

“I know it’ll be a while before they’re old enough to play but Jake wanted to be the first to buy them an instrument.” Jita whispered to you. Finally, it was time to open Danny’s gift. He had ordered a handmade, custom crib-mobile with all the GVF instruments in plushie form hanging from it. There was a seafoam bass, Jake’s red guitar, Danny’s drum set, and even Josh’s tambourine that rattled when it moved. You couldn’t help but squeal from the cuteness. 

You thought you had finished with the gifts when Jake suddenly asked everyone to go inside for a surprise. Everyone sat in the living room where the baby grand piano, that Sam learned to play on, lived.

“Sam and I wanted to do something special for our first niece or nephew.” Jake announced. Sam strolled over to the worn-down wooden bench and got into playing position.

You were confused about the lack of guitar in Jake’s arms until you realized he planned to sing. You weren’t sure if it was the hormones, but you instantly felt your eyes tear up as Sam carefully played the first notes of “Your Song”, by Elton John.

You couldn’t hold your tears back as Jake started singing in his raspy voice. When the chorus came Jake got closer and sang directly to the dome of a belly in front of you.

“I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do My gift is my song and this one's for you And you can tell everybody This is your song It may be quite simple, but now that it's done I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind That I put down in the words How wonderful life is while you're in the world.”

You looked over at Josh who was wiping streams of hot tears off his red cheeks. Your chest swelled up with so much emotion at how much you loved this man. This sensitive, beautiful, kind man who was the father of your first child and his family that you so gratefully inherited.

The night ended in the driveway with laughter and smiles that flickered in the light of roman candles as they shot sparkly fire into the sky.

[lover-of-skellies]

Rank scariest fnaf animatronics or weirdest fanfic you've read

Hmmmmm. I've had fnaf brain worms for a while now, so I'm gonna do that, and I'll try to cover as many of the animatronics as possible, minus the different skin versions that pop up for different events/DLCs/whatever

1 = fuck THAT, nuh uh, that's the stuff of nightmares

2 = mildly creepy, unsettling, don't leave me alone with it I'll be super uncomfortable

3 = I would happily dropkick it into the ocean

4 = y u so ugly bruh

5 = keep it behind a heavy duty glass wall and chained down first and THEN I can tolerate being around it

6 = aight it can roam around in the same room as me as long as it stays over on the other side from me

7 = friend shaped, looks cute or is a goober, I trust this one to not hurt me

8 = just a guy, they are simply there, I'm indifferent to them

9 = not at all scary, I may even smooch them

**There's so many names here and it's a bit of an eyesore. Read at your own discretion**

Nightmare Freddy, Nightmare Bonnie, Nightmare Chica, Nightmare Foxy, Nightmare Fredbear, Nightmare, Nightmare Mangle, Jack-O-Bonnie, Jack-O-Chica, Grimm Foxy, Nightmarionne, Nightmare Endo, Nightmare Cupcake, Nightmare Balloon Boy, Nightmarionne Bots, Twisted Freddy, Twisted Bonnie, Twisted Chica, Twisted Foxy, Twisted Wolf, Stanley, Ella, Plushtrap Chaser, Phantom Freddy, Phantom Chica, Phantom Foxy, Phantom Mangle, Phantom Balloon Boy, Phantom Puppet, Fetch, Scrap Baby, Burntrap, Stitchwraith, Eleanor, Julius' Exoskeleton

Withered Freddy, Withered Bonnie, Withered Chica, Withered Foxy, Toy Freddy, Toy Bonnie, Toy Chica, Mangle, Balloon Boy, JJ, Shadow Freddy, Shadow Bonnie, Shadow Puppet, Shadow Balloon Boy, Circus Baby, Ballora, Funtime Freddy, Funtime Foxy, Minireena, Music Man, Funtime Chica, Rockstar Chica, Rockstar Foxy, Lefty, Carnie, Dark Freddy, Neon Bonnie, Neon Chica, Burnt Foxy, Dark Foxy, Shadow Mangle, Party Freddy, Prototype Glamrock Freddy, Yenndo, The Mimic, Ennard, Molten Freddy, The Blob, Dreadbear, Lucky Boy, Springtrap, Dark Springtrap, Golden Freddy, DJMM

Cupcake, Funtime Cupcake, Golden Cupcake, Shadow Cupcake, Neon Cupcake, Freddles, Bidybabs, Bon-Bon, Electrobab, Bonnet, Little Joe, Magician, Human Heads, Fortune Teller, Lemonade Clown, Fruit Punch Clown, Mini Music Men, Dee Dee, Helpi, Tag Along Freddy, Lonely Freddy, Plushtrap, Theodore, Baby Crawlers

Scraptrap

OG Freddy, OG Bonnie, OG Chica, OG Foxy, OG Puppet, Fredbear, Spring Bonnie, Rockstar Freddy, Rockstar Bonnie, Happy Frog, Mr. Hippo, Pigpatch, Nedd Bear, Orville Elephant, Endo - 01, Endo - 02, Glamrock Endo

Glamrock Chica, Montgomery Gator, Roxanne Wolf, Glamrock Mr. Hippo, Jack-O-Moon, Moon*, Security Bots, Map Bots, Mop Bots, Party Bots, Worker Bots, Mask Bot, Head Chef Bot, Server Bot, Attendant Bots, Nanny Bots, El Chip, Captain Foxy, The Entity, Security Puppet

Alien Bots, Comedy Bot, Magician Bot, Driver Assist Bots, Instructor Bot, Pizza Bot, Wet Floor Bots, Helpy, Glamrock Freddy, Rockstar Foxy's Parrot, Yarg Foxy

Candy Cadet, Giant Cupcake, Mystic Hippo

Glamrock Bonnie*, Sun, Eclipse

Moon* - I'd smooch him, but I know he'd probably strangle me for not sleeping as much as I should, hence why he needs to stay on his half of the room

Glamrock Bonnie* - He gets pity smooches because LOOK at him. The poor guy is in literal shambles. He needs so much maintenance, therapy, warm blankets, and hugs

[bonnielunkas]

me on episode two of dawko's hw2 playthrough ; wow this game looks soooooo cool and there's so many neat animations!! helpy looks so cute, ballora being back is AWESOME, man this game is cool!!!

me on episode nine ;

[phoenixkaptain]

FNAF is so intriguing because it has the duality I crave in all media I consume…

It has murder. Horror. Large beasts with rows and rows of sharp teeth and claws. A fundamentally tragic story underlining everything, a story about loss and vengeance and trying and failing. There are legitimately horrifying ideas and scenes. There are scenes that send shivers down your spine and there are images that are brutal and the entire experience is set up to unnerve you, to make you uneasy. It does this so well. From the ambient noises to the music, the whole thing is primed to maks you uncomfortable, even if you never get jumpscared once. It’s fear of the unknown, fear of what you can imagine, fear of what your mind chooses to fill in the gaps with…

But also! Freddy has a cute lil tophat! Foxy as he’s trying to sneak out of Pirate’s Cove is so funny! Shadow Bonnie appears in Ultimate Custom Night just to turn off the lights and smile at you for ten seconds! Over half the known characters (who are not animatronics) are British people living in Utah (of all the places)! Helpy exists! Mr. Hippo rambles! Happy Frog!!! The literal trash! The jar of pickles!! Old man consequences, just a weird-lookin guy (is he an alligator? What’s up with he face?) fishin in the depths.

And that’s just stuff that happened before even the VR game came out! This game series is insane, man, it’s nuts, it’s absolutely wild, it always has been, the murderer is literally a yellow bunny, like, come on, that’s objectively hilarious, he’s killed by his own hubris and stuck in a rabbit costume for the rest of his life and his afterlife. He has to deal with DeeDee singing “How un-for-tu-nate~!” for the rest of eternity, that’s so fucking funny, dude.

It also has the added benefit of making people so upset because people decide to spend time debating the gender of robots. Like??? It’s so funny. “Bonnie’s a girl! Mangle’s a boy! Mangle’s a girl! Funtime Foxy is a girl!” My darling, none of them have genders, they are robots. We only perceive them as gendered because of a long history of contributing certain physical traits to an outdated binary system of gender. Why must the robots have gender? They don’t have to. They are robots. But by God, the discourse is funny.

The series is funny. The Nightmare Animatronics are comically terrifying. Bonnie doesn’t abide by the laws of physics. The Puppet’s walk-cycle in VR is a thing that really exists. FNAF World is adorable and I want to give all of the cutesy animatronics a hug. Mangle is absurdly huggable for a mess of wires. Michael literally became a flesh suit, regurgitated the endo-skeleton living inside of his body (one of the ghosts within being his own fucking sister), then just gets back up. “Father, I should be dead. Pretty sure that should have killed me. Convinced that most people would have died from this experience. Really, it’s a feat of scientific marvel that I’m still alive, if you think about it.”

William Afton, stuck in a bunny suit behind a wall, listening as the perfect test subject for research on remnant is just standing there, talking about how weird it is that he’s alive (“and purple, Father, I didn’t know- I kind of look like a blueberry”): “This is why I kill children.”

FNAF is so fucking funny and terrifying and tragic and funny, again, all at once, and the time-traveling ballpit is only a small part of that hilarity.

[inkabelledesigns]

Today Kat is talking about FNAF's storytelling. Warning, spoilers for the Ruin DLC under the cut.

So I have a small bone to pick with the FNAF Ruin DLC. And this may surprise you, since I don't interact with the Fnaf fandom in the slightest. You wouldn't think I'd even looked at this thing, but surprise, I did! I have friends who are into it, so I loosely keep up so I can understand what they're talking about. But also there is a small part of me that's started to enjoy it, as much as I don't like admitting to it. Fnaf FREAKED me out when the series originally started, I hated it with a passion, and the stuff that I like from it is mostly more recent games. Like my favorite characters are Ballora, Mr. Hippo, the Daycare Attendants, and most of the Glamrocks, I think that tells you most of what you need to know. Ironically, I have an interest in audio animatronics now, thanks to a lot of the TPM videos of Disney animatronics and how they work. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Fnaf has never been known for having award winning writing, and I know that nobody expects the writing to be great at this point, but I just, I can't deal with this glaring issue in Ruin. And let me say that I LOVED a lot of what Ruin brought to the table, the AR world was such an interesting concept and mechanic, and it gives us so much to think about in the way of Vanny. I loved Helpi, I loved how suspicious he and the Gregory mimic were, I loved Roxy, I LOVED LOVED LOVED Eclipse, oh my gosh yes. Heck, the telling of Monty's band backstory was SO CUTE too, really loved everything they did with the cardboard cutouts in this one, that was some effective storytelling. And I loved Cassie, she was such a fun character to follow, and her voice acting was top notch. There were a few areas where it was a little off, but that's not on the actor, that's on the voice direction. I'm delighted that she was so emotive and sassy! I too would be so done if I were trying to rescue my friend but kept getting hunted by broken animatronics.

But by the time we get to the end of the game, even though I loved everything else, the enemy we faced really left me baffled (and no it's not because of the book stuff, I have no issue with that today). Which led to this gem of a quote to one of my friends.

"The weakness of one of the most powerful enemies in all of Fnaf: concrete."

You're telling me this mimic robot can mess with Helpi and the world of AR, a mechanic that actively LETS YOU WALK THROUGH WALLS, but it can't clear a singular wall of concrete??? No, I don't buy it. I don't expect great stories from Fnaf, but this is a new level of not thought through. There is no reason this thing couldn't break out of its prison without us. Especially if it does comply with the book canon of being able to contort and fit into costumes with a variety of shapes, how can it not get out? Additionally, I really don't love the design of its mascot costumes. They don't look like they fit in this world at all. And maybe it's to try and push some new designs for a new game or DLC, but it just, isn't working for me. I mean the way the eyes on the lion one match the stylization of Glitchtrap's head, which was good, but that's my only good note. And that's not even getting into the millions of questions about HOW this robot has a bunch of FABRIC costumes that are mostly in tact in an establishment that was burned down FROM THE BASEMENT AREA. If it's been locked down there for so long, how does it have these in as good of condition as they're in? What were they used for before this? Could we have gotten any set dressing like posters of old characters down in this area to maybe foreshadow/explain this? Maybe a desk with prototype mascot designs? Just, SOMETHING so it's not out of left field. Some things are good when they come out of nowhere, but this did not do it for me.

I'll probably let this go over time and go back to my regularly scheduled enjoyment of mutuals posting and reblogging the daycare attendants. This has just been bugging me all week, and I wanted to talk about it. I acknowledge that I like a lot of things where the writing isn't exactly great, and it doesn't have to be the best in the world to be effective or enjoyable. But this actively killed the experience for me by the end. And I'm annoyed I feel that way, because the rest of this WAS really fun. I'd say this is one of the times I enjoyed FNAF the most, it just didn't stick the landing. Couldn't keep my suspension of disbelief.

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

Thinking about how Sun’s stance on Lunar’s puppy crush is disapproval about it being Helpy, specifically. He doesn’t even know any Helpys, but he just dislikes Lunar’s first crush being Helpy on principle.

fjdjdkfd I thought it was because it was based on something so superficial as the logo character looks cute, but the idea of it just being a bias of his is funny too

[virdemption]

i was really eepy last night so i didn't have theenergy to properly detail this lawl. headcanons below :P

She/Her swag she traded pronouns with Hatsune Miku actually.

Very poor motor skills, can't properly hold objects or move very fast and probably comes close to falling over often. Her microphone has special implants inside that make it easier to grasp.

Because help it's so fucking cramped in here. Puppet is left wondering if it's easier to move around in Freddy. Coz like he's got the same build as her but a lot less constricting.

I mostly just did the pretty outfit to be extra but then I realized it would be cute to have a more idol-y animatronic amidst rockstars lawl. Chica loves the outfit.

Hates being in the pizzeria so much due to lack of self control and always feels so horrible whenever a child gets hurt because of her.

Can't bring herself to hate a lot of other animatronics, most of the time they're just annoying at most for being loud but there are also some people who are just ugh get outtttt

Out of everyone, she has the most positive relationships with Helpy, Foxy, and Baby. She refuses to interact with Molten Freddy unless Ballora is currently the one in control at time.

will probably add more some other time lawl