#help I made another gilmore girls au

[natailiatulls07]

Oblivious Love

Max Verstappen x Female!reader

Summary - Y/n, Max and their oblivious love for eachother

Warning - Breakup, crying

A/n - Not doing a part 2 sorry xx

Some notes for context -

Small town au

Max owns a diner

Y/n owns a small inn

Inspired by Lorelai Gilmore and Luke Danes, the best couple ever in my opinion

-

Y/n was sat at the counter of the diner, talking no rambling. She did this often esperically around her bestfriend, Max Verstappen, who owned said diner. He was stood on the other side of the counter, fixing up coffees for a couple to the side of Y/n.

Of course he was listening in on her rambling, she was talking about some customers who had stayed at her inn. You see Max and Y/n were drastic opposites but thats what made them work well together.

She was high energy, coffee loving and approachable whilst he was blunt, private and grounded. Many wondered how he opened a diner in the first place. "So yeah and when they checked out, they gave me a basket of chocolates for the team and you know I though that was really sweet because like no one does that ever. It's a nice change. Oh and it had my fav-"

The rambling was cut short but a deep and direct voice. "Will you marry me?" Y/n's eyes snapped up from her coffee, they were widened and confused.

"What?" She secretly hoped this was real and he was being serious. Max Verstappen never made jokes so why start now?

The man shrugged his shoulders, giving his bestfriend a plain look. "Just looking for something to shut you up" Max didn't notice how her shoulders deflated, as if she was waiting for something excited. He also hoped that what he said was real but why would a cheerful women girl like Y/n be interested in him?

-

It was a Saturday morning, alike every other Saturday Y/n and her close friend, Nora were sat at their usual spots at the diners counter. They were eating Maxs new breakfast dish. "Mmm I need some sauce..." Nora remarked before setting down her knife and fork, and moving round the counter to where the sauce were stored.

"What have I said about the counter Nora?" Maxs loud and annoyed voice spun the women around, frantic to hold up her hands. Max doesn't like any going behind the counter for anything, unless you work at the diner.

"I know but-" He didn't give her a chance to explain before ushering her out.

"The counter is a sacred space, my sacred space. You don't do yoga on a dalai lama's mat and you don't come behind my counter. Period." He declared, Nora didn't fight him now. Just rushing back around the counter to her seat beside Y/n.

~

Y/n and Nora were about to leave the diner, they had a girl day planned out. But before they left, Y/n made her way round to Maxs side of the counter to collect a extra donut for herself.

She was about to pick up the sugary treat but Max handed her a pair of tongs. "Here, don't use your hand" And with a polite smile, Y/n took the tongs and got herself a donut.

Nora watched on from the door of the diner, everyone knew that behind was a sacred space for Max but he allowed Y/n back there. All because he loves her, and she could murder before he'd lose that soft spot for her.

-

It was a small town, everyone knew everyones gossip and what was going on. So naturally everyone knew about Y/n's date, and they all sympathize Max. The two bestfriend were so oblivious in love with eachother but neither could seem to see it.

After closing the diner that evening, Max started to walk to his apartment when across the road he heard a familiar laugh. Y/n's laugh. The common frown on his face grew to a warm loving smile. Only to fade when he saw her laughing and kissing another guy, louis Smith. The owner of the towns car garage.

Max knew he shouldn't feel possessive or jealous, Y/n wasn't his to claim, but he couldn't help it.

-

"Fuck louis is working, c-can somebody tell me the damn number of the cab guy? p-please" Y/n's mother was in hospital, and it scared her. She had lost her father at a very young age, she couldn't lost her mother as well.

The inn owner was at the diner when she got the call and now she was panicking. Her prize winning smile no longer on her face, now replaced with a frown and frantic breaths.

"I'll drive you." Max spoke up over her panic but was met with Y/n shaking her head.

Gesturing to the other customers and the food in the diner. "But there's food and there's people, Max I can't-" He stopped her before guiding the customers in the diner to move out there quickly as possible. All customers complying straight away cause they knew if anyone delayed this for Y/n, Max would not be happy.

"Okay everyone out, we're closed. Let's go, foods on me" And with the all customers were out and Max was leading Y/n, with an arm around her waist, to the back of the diner to his car.

-

Every so often, Victoria Verstappen would come to visit the small town her older brother. She was fond of the small cosy town, they allowed Max to get away from their demanding father and live his own life. Every single time, she'd visit she would bring up the dreading topic of love with her brother.

You see Victoria was married and was already a mother, she wanted the same for her brother and she knew all about Y/n. "There's no deal with Y/n, we're friends" Max would always try and defend himself.

"For now" His younger sister would snap back, she knew something was going on.

Max just shook his head, he knew about her relationship with Louis and wanted to be respectful for her sake. "Yes...anyways she has a boyfriend" He didn't pick up on the disappointment in his voice but Victoria did.

"And in the future?"

This caught out her brother, part of him was hoping Y/n would break up with Louis and get with him but the other part of him was unsure. "Well Y/n, she's just um I mean it seems like...I don't know" She completely stumped him.

-

It was a quite day in the diner, it was a Monday morning it was expected by Max. But what was unusual was Y/n's absence, it was 8am. She'd be onto her second coffee already but she was here.

Max was pulled out of his daydream when Nora called his name. She had just got off the phone. "Hey Max?" She had a worried face but there was a hint of a small smile hiding underneath the frown.

"Yeah?" The man answered, concerned. What happened? Did something happen to Y/n? Is that why she wasn't here?

Nora took a deep breath before continuing. "You heard the latest news right? Kind of sad for Y/n and Louis" So it was about Y/n, what happened? And Louis? I mean he could care less about the car garage owner but Y/n, he needed to know now.

Shaking his head, he allowed Nora to continue. "They broke up" That small smile was a little bit more seen on Noras face. Max just nodded, an uncontrollable grin took place of his scowl concerned.

Max just picked up the now filled coffee pot and start to walk to each and every customer offering free coffee. "Everyone's coffee is on the house today! I like you hat" Nora sat back in her seat shaking her head and smiling knowingly.

-

It had been a few weeks since the breakup and everything had gone back to normal. Y/n and Nora were sat at one of the table at Maxs diner, gossip as usual. They were both watching Max work around the diner.

"He never flirts with any one, did you notice that?" Y/n tilted her head to the side, confused at his lack of flirting. In her mind, there were plenty of people in town that would happily date her bestfriend.

Nora turned to her friend as if she the most stupid thing in existance. "That's because he flirts with you numerous times a day" To which Y/n just waved her off, muttering about how she was seeing things.

-

Y/n was going through a hard part of her life at the moment. Lot's of her staff at the inn were handing the notices and moving out of town, wanting to see the world and wanting the big and the best. So this meant that operating the inn was hard and alot of work for Y/n.

She didn't mean to break down in front of Max whilst he was closing the diner, it just happened. He saw the tears welling and falling from her eyes, he sat the two of them down on the floor. Hugging her close to his chest so that she could hear his heartbeat.

"I'm failing...I'm failing..." Her broken and uneven voice admitted to him. Y/n felt his body shake as he shook his head.

Oh how he disagreed with her. "You are not failing" Her inn was the best place to stay in town and the town was visited often by tourist, Max was sure she'd be perfectly fine.

"I don't know what to do..." Max just rubbed her back and smooth down her hair where it was slightly messing from when she was stressing and playing with it.

"It's okay..." He whispered. They'd both be lying if they said that they din't love this close proximity with eachother. Y/n could smell his cologne and it comforted her so much.

-

5am

Every morning at 5am, like clock work, Max would arrive at the diner to set and open up ready for official opening at 6am. Usually this meant that the entire would still be asleep and Max would be alone, just how he liked it. So when he went to the front entrance of the dinner this morning he was unexpectedly met with an excited and hyper Y/n. "What are you doing?" He asked his bestfriend.

Y/n just smiled up at him. "I need coffee" She annouced like he should've known that.

He just frowned his eyebrows at the coffee loving women. "It's five in the morning, make coffee at your own house?" Max suggested confused, he only got more confused when she shook her head, giggling cheekily.

"I did, I drank it all!" The way she annouced indicated to Max that she was sort of proud of herself for drinking all the coffee in her house.

Times like this made Max realise why he was in love with her. She was so unpredicable and excitable. "You drank all the coffee in your house before five in the morning?" His mouth hung open, not only was he confused about the amount of coffee she had but by the fact that Y/n L/n was not a morning person.

Nodding proudly, Y/n continued. "Big gulps, lots of sugar!" Then she felt herself being picked up by the armpits to stand by Max before he directed her into the diner giggling and rambling more to him. "And just a little bit of cream cause it makes it cold"

-

Town meetings. Every single monday night at 7pm. Something Max despised. Why? Because in his opinion it was boring and a waste of his time. But this evening, Kevin the annoying 'town president' had asked Max to attend so he did. Straight away Max spotted Y/n sat at the back of the room picking at a small bag of m&ms happily and that's where he was going to sit.

Turns out his presence at the meeting was because the town wanted to talk about his and Y/n friendship and how everyone wanted them to get together already. Kevin had barely got through the first page of his stupid powerpoint when Max got up and stomped angerily to the front of the room.

"This is my friendship. Mine. Not yours" He pointed at Cath, the dance teacher. "Not yours!" He pointed to Kevin, who was red in th face. "Yours" A soft smile broke out onto Maxs face as he points to Y/n in the back who was nodding proudly still eating her m&ms. "Not yours" Maxs smile was gone again. Pointing to Linda, the towns florist.

He stopped pointing but didn't finish his small speech. "Mine and hers but not any of yours" His eyes then looked to Y/ns and locked together. And they both had the same thought.

'Maybe she does like me like that...'

'Maybe he does like me like that...'

-

[olsenmyolsen]

Vampire Things

master list

dark master list

MCU AU (Vampire Reader X Wanda Maximoff)

Sudo-sequel to Feeling Used

Summary: You feel at peace with the Avengers thanks to Wanda Maximoff. But what happens when your feelings run deep for her?

Word Count: 3.1K

Content Warnings: Blood, Mentions of Hydra if you squint

Special thanks to everyone who voted on the poll ❤️

It's been about eight months since Wanda Maximoff, and you became best friends.

What started out as her saving you from a nightmare to watch TV and play twenty questions about your abilities has blossomed into so much more. She's been there for everything. Your training, bad days, and acclimating you to living in the U.S. with help from the others as well.

Natasha rolls her eyes as you and Wanda come running into the kitchen, smiling from ear to ear. "Jesus, you'd think we have children around here." She mumbles to Peter, who looks up from his textbook, a little afraid. "But I- I am a child..." The Seventeen-year-old states, making Natasha lift her head from her phone and look over Peter.

"Hmm, oh yeah."

Without saying another word, The Black Widow gets up and puts her dishes in the sink, walking past the two of you while leaving Peter confused.

You look over to Peter as Wanda focuses on gathering snacks for your movie marathon of Lord of the Rings. Wanda, having never finished them and you having never seen them only made sense. Plus, whatever to get Bucky to shut the hell up about the books. "Don't mind Natasha Peter. She just misses Maria."

Peter looks to you.

"How do you know?" You smile and walk towards the boy. You point to your ears. "Hearing her heartbeat gives it away. She was texting Maria." Peter makes an oh face. "That's kinda cool." Peter decides and gives you a smile.

You smile back and almost laugh when you remember that there was a point when Peter was afraid of you. Being a Vampire isn't exactly the easiest thing to be.

"Be careful, Peter, don't keep filling her ego!"

You playfully roll your eyes when Wanda decides to speak up. "Don't pressure the kid Maximoff!" You yell back to Peter's amusement. The youngling loves being around you and Wanda. He often times feels like a younger brother to the two of you, especially when Pietro gets involved.

You turn around and head back to Wanda, who eyes you and then looks to Peter. "So whatcha doing, Peter?"

"Wanda." You interject, knowing what she's doing. But she ignores you as you round the kitchen island to stand next to her. Peter looks from you to Wanda and swallows his nerves. "Just some homework. Ya- know it's important and all!" The kid begins moving his leg a thousand miles an hour, much to Wanda's delight.

"Oh my god! Quit torturing him."

You send your thoughts to Wanda, who turns to you with an arms full of junk food and candy. Most of which you had never had until Wanda introduced you to them. You decided sour candy was your favorite. Chocolate was Wandas.

"It's just a little funny."

You shake your head at Wanda's actions.

You see, since you and the witch have gotten closer and closer, it's been noticed amongst the other crime fighters you live with. However, no one stupidly had the nerve to say anything except for a teenager dressed in red and blue.

It was innocent, honestly. Peter was joining the Avengers for a Friday night dinner—Gilmore Girls style. When you and Wanda showed up late with messy hair and comfy clothes, no one batted an eye, mainly because they knew you and Wanda had a knack for taking afternoon naps after a mission.

But Peter didn't know that.

So when you and Wanda sat down and apologized for being late, he made a comment along the lines of "at least you two make a cute couple."

Everyone froze, not knowing how to approach the situation until Wanda broke the tension with a giggle—making everyone laugh. Like I said. Everyone laughed except you.

What Peter said only made the feelings you had as of late grow and shrink in a matter of seconds. Your constant battle for whether it was right or wrong to fall for your best friend was now seemingly squashed when Wanda laughed at the idea.

She liked the joke so much she had now used it as a means of playful torture towards the boy.

But your feelings remained.

Since being saved, one person has been by your side.

Most days, you wake up by their side and smile at the thought of them being around forever with you. You look at her as if she was a goddess. You get lost in her eyes and smile when you see her smile. Everything she does, you watch her do with a soft heart-shaped gaze.

You were in love with Wanda Maximoff.

"Detka?"

You hummed and looked over to your best friend. "Yeah?" Wanda looked you over and tilted her head a little worried. "You okay? I called your name multiple times." Wanda's face was filled with worry. "Sorry. Got lost in my head." You made a believable smile and laughed. "Vampire things." You joked at the excuse Pitero uses all the time when he doesn't understand why you do or do not do something a certain way.

Wanda nodded along and smiled as if she believed you. "Alright. Here." She handed you a bag of chips. "Help me." You picked up a few more things and started following Wanda out. The two of you saying bye to a very thankful Peter Parker.

When you got to the elevator, you laughed at the sound of Peters's heartbeat finally slowing down.

Once in Wanda's room, the Sokovian didn't have to pry into your mind to know that something was bothering you.

Maybe bothering wasn't the right word.

But whatever it was, Wanda could tell it was loud in your head.

That's the way things have been for a couple of months now. Wanda would notice how you often you'd fall in and out of your own head. Getting trapped by the loud thoughts, Wanda wouldn't dare to invade. She only went into your head to help you with your nightmares. She even did it more times than you knew of.

So Wanda would wait for you to come to her. But you didn't. And things would go back to normal between the two of you.

But as the two of you sat on the bed, ready to watch Lord of the Rings, Wanda decided to say something.

"Y/N.."

You looked over to your right as Wanda anxiously bit her lip. "What's up?" You cautiously held her left hand. "Is something wrong?" You asked, running your tongue over your pointed fangs. A nervous habit you had yet to break.

When your eyes locked onto hers, not only could you feel your heartbeat rapidly increase. But you could feel the beats of Wanda's as she nervously decided to ask: "Is everything okay?"

Wanda tightly wrapped her fingers around your own. "Yeah... I believe so." You answered without much conviction.

Wanda frowned. "I can tell somethings bothering you." You sighed. "It's fine." You smiled and squeezed Wanda's hand before moving your attention to the black screen of the paused movie.

Wanda knew you were lying.

"Y/N. You can tell me. I promise to listen. You can trust me." She says with a hint of sadness. Almost like she's afraid that you couldn't trust her. "Wanda..." You swallow and look to your left, away from her.

Do you tell her the truth?

You bit your bottom lip, allowing your fangs to stick out and glide along your skin.

If you weren't so in your head, you would've noticed the increase in Wanda's heartbeat and how her skin seemed to heat up under your touch.

"I- I know I can trust you, Wands..." You look back to your best friend with the green eyes of the girl you've fallen for. "It's just... complicated."

"Okay.." Wanda nods. "It's okay. You can tell me."

Wanda doesn't want to give up. Neither of you do when you need each other.

"I know I can tell you. I trust you more than anyone, but-"

"But what?" Wanda interrupts, gripping her hand around yours harder, moving so she's more in front of you. Blocking the movie that will never be played. Her eyes searching yours.

You look back at her and worry if it'll be for the last time.

Wanda's head fills with thoughts of you, and she worries if she's done something wrong.

"Tell me..." Wanda pleads with a whisper.

"Wanda-"

"Tell me!"

"I'm in love with you!"

The second those words fall from your lips, the AI system alerts Wanda's room in the compound that a sudden mission is about to take place—wheels up in 10 minutes.

You stare at the Sokovain's eyes, and they don't give you any indication of what Wanda is feeling. All you know is that it hurts when you feel Wanda loosen her grip on your hand. You swallow and slowly pull away.

You decide not to listen to Wanda's heartbeat and instead distract yourself by preparing for the mission.

You delicately get up from Wanda's bed and make your way to the door, feeling unsure of where the two of you stand. You don't want to look back, but you must when a red mist stops you from leaving.

"Wanda..." Her name comes out in a calm, defeated tone.

Her body sits still, but her face contorts into one of confusion. Her eyes pool with tears above the red glow of her iris. And then... they fade, and the mist dissipates as she looks up at you. "Y/N..."

"Wanda, we don't have to-"

"You love me?" Those three words come out of her cracking throat. You watch a tear fall down her cheek before reacting and moving to sit in front of her.

Wanda watches you approach and take her hands in yours.

"I do. I do love you, Wanda." You want to say more. But you don't know what. Would you say you're sorry for falling for your best friend? Would you tell her that she's the reason you're even still an Avenger?

You don't know. So you leave it at that as Wanda looks at you.

This time, Wanda removes her hand from your hold before slightly raising it. "Ma- May I?" Wanda asks permission to enter your mind. Wanda wants to the extent of your love. She wants to know why or how you fell for her. Because truth be told, Wanda can't believe it. She's never had someone confess to her before.

You trust Wanda with all your heart. So you take her hand and place it above your head. "Go ahead."

Wanda thanks you and closes her eyes as thin red lines of Wanda's magic extend themselves from her as they enter your mind. You're always too sleepy or focused on your panic attack from a nightmare that you've never really felt what it's like for Wanda to enter your mind, but it makes the ends of your lips curl up. It's ticklish.

You watch Wanda smile and laugh at what you assume to be memories between the two of you. You wish you could see exactly what she's looking at in this moment, but you're just happy to be sharing how you see the witch with Wanda herself.

You feel the magic begin to decrease in your mind, and you watch as Wanda's smile grows before she opens her green eyes back to you. Her hand returning to her lap. Wanda opens her mouth but closes it immediately.

"Is... is that really how you see me, detka?" Wanda asks shyly with a tilt of her head. "Every day." You answer. Wanda smiles and gives you her hand to hold. Her thumb rubbing over yours.

"I remember... I remember the first night you came into my room." Wanda smiles, and you look at her confused before thinking she probably saw that memory. "You were nervous and shy." She states the obvious before pausing. "...I love you too, Y/N. I didn't need to look into your mind to know how I feel about you. I just wanted to see how you feel that way about me.."

The last sentence catches you off guard.

"Wanda..." You see another tear fall, and within a second, you are holding Wanda in your arms. Her head is in the crook of your neck. You let her silently cry for a few moments.

When Wanda finally sniffles and pulls away, you move your hands up to her face and hold her. You wipe away the tear tracks and find yourself nervous to be this close to Wanda. You hear a spike in Wanda's heartbeat as your soft hands brush her skin, making you look up from her lips to her eyes.

"Can I?"

"Please," Wanda telepathically replies. You brush over her cheeks one more time before you move into her. Gently and carefully, your lips touch. Wanda feels and tastes better than you ever imagined. Her soft lips push against yours until you both separate.

No additional words are said or unsaid when you and Wanda collide with each other again. This time, the kiss is rougher and more urgent. Wanda loves how you feel and marvels at the way your breath feels on her mouth. She wants more of you, and you want more of her so much so that- "Ow!"

In the blink of an eye, you backed away from Wanda and felt your beating heart break at the sight of Wanda's bleeding lip.

Her hand flew up to her mouth before she looked at you. You who was wearing a horrified look. "Oh my God, Wanda! I'm so sorry!!" Wanda, with wide eyes, looked at the blood on her finger. "Is this from-" Wanda looked up, and you knew what had caused this. You lifted your lip for her to get a look at your right fang.

No longer red.

"I didn't mean to Wands!" You had a sad look as you begged for Wanda to listen to you. But she knew. "It's okay." She licked her lip and felt okay when she didn't wince. "Y/N, I'm fine." You didn't want to hear it, though. "No, Wanda, I hurt you.." Your voice cracked.

This one was one of the many reasons why telling Wanda the truth about your feelings wouldn't be good. You could always hurt her.

Wanda saw you spiraling and getting trapped in your head again. She went to reach out to you but stopped. A light bulb went off above her head. Regardless of what territory you and Wanda were in right now, she could now do what she had wanted to do before.

Wanda leaned over and removed your hands from your face before she pushed you down onto the bed as her lips smashed into yours once again. You tried to stop Wanda, but she knew you would. So, as she laid kiss after kiss on your lips, you found your hands were stopped by a red mist of magic before they could even touch Wanda.

Suddenly you felt very hot.

"Wanda..." You bit back a moan as Wanda lifted herself off of you. "Y/N." She replied with a smile. "You don't hurt me." She said when you didn't answer. You sighed as you looked over Wanda's lip. "But-"

"Y/N, stop," Wanda warned. "Look at me. I'm fine. If we're going to start dating, then this is going to happen."

Wanda was right. Accidents with your pointed teeth were going to happen. Mostly because you were never close enough to anyone like Wanda before. You never had to be friendly or gentle to people if your fangs were going to be involved.

You were made to be a monster, but Wanda never saw you as that.

"And... I kinda liked it." Wanda blushed when you looked into her eyes. "It felt good being... feeling your teeth. Being marked by you."

Your brain crashed.

"Did you like it... the taste of me?" Wanda asked that, on the surface, would appear as an innocent question. But it was burning her on the inside. Wanda needed to know if you felt what she did.

You nodded. "You tasted better than I ever could have imagined.." Your hands found Wanda's face again. Wanda started to lean in. "I only need and want you." Your mouth opened as Wanda closed her eyes, her lips finding your neck-

"Hey guys- Oh my God!"

You pulled back while Wanda pushed the top half of her body off of you as you both turned to see Peter in his Spider-Man suit staring at the two of you. Jaw dropped. "I- I'm sorr- Wait, how long- No! I- Cap said to get you."

Peter continued to stumble and flail over his words until he managed to say: "Quinjet. Downstairs. Now!"

You and Wanda watched Peter leave red in the face. "Well, cats outta the bag," Wanda said, making you laugh. "I never understood that phrase. What cat? Why was it in the bag? It doesn't make sense." Wanda tilted her head before smiling. "The Vampire just said that." Wanda giggled as you rolled your eyes, and even though you were needed for a mission, you and the witch didn't move.

"Wanda, what happens between us now." You rubbed your hands up and down her arms. "Now..." She leaned down to be on top of you again. "Detka, I'd like to be your girlfriend."

"Really?" Wanda laughed at your surprised look. "If you saw how I see you, Y/N, you wouldn't be surprised."

"Maybe later." Wanda nodded and added. "After the mission. But for now." Wanda leaned into you and put her lips next to your ear. "I want you to kiss me." You turned your head to her and placed your lips on Wanda's and her small cut. The pain that came with it morphed into pleasure.

"I want to feel you," Wanda spoke in a whisper when your lips separated. "But-"

"You could never hurt me. I trust you and all your Vampire Things." Wanda's lips curled upward as yours did the same. "Let's save it till after the mission. I can hear Cap making his way here." Wanda groaned, having to get up.

"Fine. But after I have a talk with Spider-Boy, I want to sit down and kiss my girlfriend and watch Lord of the Rings."

"Girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend."

A/N: Enjoy this instead of getting your hearts broken

dividers by @/benkeibear

[youraveragebtsstan]

Is that a bird? Is that a plane? No, it's . . . A GilmoreGirls X SPN ✨WINCEST✨ AU! 😮

That's right! Have no fear mere mortals for it is I, Your Favorite Wincest Obsessor, and I'm back with yet ANOTHER ✨Wincest✨ Headcanon! 🎊🎉💥👏🏾

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so that's enough theatrics for now. And yes, you read the title correctly- I've had this idea about a Gilmore Girls/Supernatural Crossover brewing for quite some time now, but I recently decided I need the opinions of other like minded girlies (specifically the Gilmore Girlies) for their input. So picture this:

Sam (16) and Dean (20) have been caught being 'not so brotherly' by their father, John, after he returns to their motel room earlier than expected 😱. Furious- and quite frankly, tired of Sam's recent adolescent attitude, he decides to send Sam off to live with a couple of hunters he's come to know pretty well. Originally, it's only meant to be for the summer, but after the heat dies down and the leaves have long since fallen off their branches, it's clear Sam's not coming back anytime soon.

2 years go by before Sam sees Dean again. And despite being the first time they've spoken in months, Sam instantly feels like a little kid- doe eyed and delirious when next to his big brother. But soon the whimsy fades. Sam knows Dean is in Stars Hollow for a reason- knows it was John's callused fist that sent him.

Perhaps this is the preamble to their great falling out? Perhaps this was the catalyst that lead Sam to Stanford? None of that really matters, not here not now. The only thing that matters is what happens between Sam and Dean when they're alone... Alone for the first time in years, in a town the two can finally be themselves.

~~~~~~~

So that's it, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Here's my question for the Gilmore Girlies though:

Do I need to watch Gilmore Girls to get a sense of who Dean Forester really is or can I just vibe my way through it? If I go on vibes alone, will miss out on any really important character developing moments for Dean F or nah?

The only reason I ask is because I tried to watch Gilmore Girls and can't even make it through the 1st episode without picturing Dean Forester as Sam pretending to be a version of his older brother Dean. Twisted, I know, but ughhhh. The heart wants what the heart wants I guess. Btw the story's called: "Call Me By Your Name" (Fitting I know.)

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks in advance. 🙏🏾😁

P.S: This won't be one of those 'IHateJohnWinchester' Fics, so if that's what gets you off, you can just keep stepping. I don't believe John was a shit father, especially for the situation he was thrown into when raising Sam and Dean. I DO, however, believe he made some shit choices, so why not make this one of them?

[yellowocaballero]

He’s Just Not That Into You: Web!Jon and Martin ficlet

Another ficlet written in the same universe as The Convention on Chronographer Lane/The Monster at the End of This Book. As before, you don’t need to have read that to read this. These ficlets are being written as character studies so I get a good handle on the uniqueness of the characters in this AU before I actually write something longer. Which is why they’re...like this. 

Very slight content warning for internalized fatphobia and Jon being interpreted as being a creep again. Reverse content warning for Martin’s tasty pasta. 

EDIT 2/4/2021: With the release of Sucker’s Bet, which this story was a kind of pilot study for, this story is no longer canon. However, you can still consider it a 15 page summary of that entire story. I’m sad I couldn’t keep the ‘join my spider cult’ thing but we all make sacrifices. 

Martin was in the middle of making a delicious pot of pasta when Jonathan Sims crawled in through his kitchen window.

Martin stared at Jonathan Sims, too out of it to even be surprised. Jon halted halfway through his entrance, sitting on the windowsill with one leg swung over it to rest on his floor, one leg on the fire escape above. Martin was on the sixth floor of his flat complex.

“Hullo,” Jon said, as if he was not in his window, “have you reconsidered my offer of -”

Martin threw his spoon at Jon, hitting him squarely on the forehead. Jon cursed, shocked into leaning backwards, and he accidentally topped off the window and onto the fire escape. He landed on the metal grid with a loud crash and a rattle, and the muffled sounds of his cursing echoed through the flat.

After a second to grab a new spoon and turn down the heat on the pot, Martin walked over to the window and wiggled it down again. He looked Jon dead in the eyes as he locked it, before going back to his pasta.

It was good. He should add some pesto and herbs next time.

Martin was in the middle of making a delicious pot of pasta when Jonathan Sims crawled in through his kitchen window. 

Martin stared at Jonathan Sims, too out of it to even be surprised. Jon halted halfway through his entrance, sitting on the windowsill with one leg swung over it to rest on his floor, one leg on the fire escape above. Martin was on the sixth floor of his flat complex. 

“Hullo,” Jon said, as if he was not in his window, “have you reconsidered my offer of -”

Martin threw his spoon at Jon, hitting him squarely on the forehead. Jon cursed, shocked into leaning backwards, and he accidentally topped off the window and onto the fire escape. He landed on the metal grid with a loud crash and a rattle, and the muffled sounds of his cursing echoed through the flat. 

After a second to grab a new spoon and turn down the heat on the pot, Martin walked over to the window and wiggled it down again. He looked Jon dead in the eyes as he locked it, before going back to his pasta. 

It was good. He should add some pesto and herbs next time. 

***

Martin had never really bothered to learn how to cook, but now that he was unemployed he had plenty of time. 

Now that he was unemployed, he had plenty of time for lots of things. He was finally taking up knitting again. Lots of seasons of Jane the Virgin to catch up on. His severance package from the Institute had been pretty good, not to mention the check Rosie had slipped him with a wink that she had worryingly called ‘Hazard Pay’, but this was London and even Martin could only make the money stretch so far. He spent eight hours of his day looking for jobs, touting his five year experience as a librarian and six month experience as an Archival assistant. But there was only so far you could go without a degree, and the market was shit, and really wouldn’t it just be so much easier to list a master’s in library science from some huge, anonymous university…

But Martin had the feeling that line of thought was what had put him on Jon’s radar in the first place. 

***

A week later Martin was halfway through a comforting Gilmore Girls rewatch when he heard a knock on his door. He had been fastidiously avoiding answering knocks on the door ever since Jon had pulled his first Jehovah’s Witness impression, but he had ordered a replacement washing machine part and it was arriving that day. He put his knitting down and got up, peering through the eyehole - hair not nearly long enough to be Jon, great - and opened the door. 

“Hullo,” the man said in a thick Cockney accent, not looking up from his clipboard, “I got a package here for Mr. Blackwood?”

“Yes, that’s me.” Martin held out his hands to take the little screen and sign for the package. After a second of clumsy fumbling, the man passed the package and the screen over, and Martin boredly scribbled his name. “Thanks, mate -”

But the man was gone, and Martin had realized belatedly that the man had slipped past Martin to enter his flat. He easily slid the cap off, letting his tightly curled hair cascade down to his shoulders, and propped his hands on his hips as he spun in a circle, admiring Martin’s extraordinarily boring and cramped flat. 

“Really love what you’ve done with the place!” Jonathan Sims said loudly. “Your sense of interior design is really impeccable, Martin, truly. A man’s home is his castle! Oh, is that vintage chintz? So cute.”

“Get out of my house.”

“Look at this ceramic kitten!” Jon was already in front of his mantle, carefully scrutinizing his little row of ceramic figures. They were fifty pence at the charity shops and Martin found them precious and charming, okay? “Your place has so much personality. My flat has personality too, but I’m afraid that personality just screams a propensity towards arson, so it’s much less impressive. How old is that couch, from the 70s? Very grandmother. Is it inherited?”

Yes. “No,” Martin said, resisting the urge to throttle the man as he dumped his washing machine part on the end table, “and please get out of my flat. I’ve said explicitly I don’t want you where I live -”

“Really, Martin, I’m hardly a vampire,” Jon said, having the gall to look offended as he cradled a little meowing ceramic kitten in his hand. “If I needed permission to enter dwellings I’d never go anywhere.” He paused a beat, something seeming to occur to him. “But I get a lot of permission from many different people of a variety of genders to enter their homes for sex, which I am very good at.” He paused again. “I really am very thirsty. I don’t suppose I could trouble you for a spot of tea…?”

Because Martin was British, he made the tea. But he resented every second of it. 

Jon hadn’t started stalking him immediately after he and his weirdo friends had murdered Martin’s boss, but it was pretty close. He had probably thought a week was enough time to emotionally recover from the ordeal of finding out that your boss’ boss was an immortal apocalypse cultist or whatever and that your boss was actually just a plant from a different and somehow creepier apocalypse cult inserted into your workplace to assassinate his boss. He had probably thought that a week was enough time to emotionally recover from the fact that Jonathan Sims - prickly, rude, pretentious Head Archivist with a heart of gold - was an elaborate fabrication, and that the man whom Martin had been falling for had never truly existed at all. 

A week had not been enough time. 

He didn’t even know Jon’s real name. 

“So what is your real name, anyway?” They were, unfortunately, sitting at Martin’s rinky-dink kitchen table, complete with little pock-marked burn scars in the wood and a wobbly leg. Martin had a magazine rolled up and jammed under the leg, which he was uncomfortably aware of as Jon lounged in his hard little wooden chair as if it was a thousand dollar gaming chair. The fake UPS uniform helped make him look like something other than a movie star, but it was hard to disguise the sharp and haughty features and the cold grey eyes. He had kept the ceramic cat, placing it in front of him with its little plainative face turned towards Martin. 

“What makes you think it’s not Jonathan Sims?” Jon asked archly, sipping at his PG Tips out of a chipped black mug. He made a faint face. “Sorry, is there cream for this? I hate black tea.”

“You always take your tea black,” Martin said automatically. Jon stared at him until he got it. “Of course. Right.” 

By the time he got back to the table with the sugar and cream Jon was going through his mail, with absolutely no shame whatsoever. “Bill, bill, overdue bill. You’re hurting for money, aren’t you? You know, I might know someone who’s hiring -”

“If you’re about to say a giant spider that’s going to lay eggs in my stomach and then burst out of my skin and transform me into a spider person, I have to pass.”

“I wasn’t going to say that,” Jon blatantly lied. “I just don’t think you’re hearing me out. Has anybody ever told you that you’re very unwilling to listen to new ideas?”

“When the new idea is joining a spider cult, then yes. Actually, no, because nobody’s ever asked me that before I met you.”

Jon didn’t seem to pick up on Martin’s extraordinarily pained expression, or maybe he just didn’t care. He leaned in instead, easily dropping a grotesque amount of sugar cubes into his tea. “Just consider it. Let the idea percolate in your mind. There’s a lot of benefits. No more worrying about money. No more putting in all that work to manipulate people. It’d be as easy as breathing for you. Anybody you want to like you likes you, and anybody you hate has their life ruined in days.” Something glinted with light in Jon’s grey eyes, like a spotlight shining off a raincloud. “Anybody you want to fall in love with you does so instantly. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

“All for the low, low price of selling my soul to a giant spider god,” Martin said sarcastically. Jon nodded fastidiously, as if it really was a low price. “Seriously, Jon? I have no interest in any of this. I don’t even know why you’ve singled me out to stalk. I don’t - I don’t like manipulating people, it’s not some kind of hobby -”

“Liar. You love manipulating people.” Jon sipped his tea, as if bored. “Honestly, Martin, we’re all friends here. I won’t judge. You don’t need to virtue signal. We both love manipulating people, getting what we want, putting on personas. We like to control how people see us, no matter what that perception is. You believe that ends justify the means, I believe that good means result in good ends. We’ve very similar.” Something strange entered Jon’s expression, almost entirely hidden by the tea, and for the first time Martin wondered if this was an expression Jon hadn’t meant for him to see. “You’re the only person I’ve ever met who is exactly like me. We should work together. You’re so well suited for the Mother. You’d be a treasured son. Valued, celebrated, loved. Everything you always wanted, you can have.”

Silence stretched between them. Martin let Jon think that he was thinking it over, staring into his own cup of Earl Grey and letting the slowly wafting steam fog up his glasses. Jon sipped his tea again, still posed casually yet attractively. In a brief yet stupid spurt of nostalgia Martin found himself missing the man he thought Jonathan Sims had been. 

Stupid. Loving Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist, had been as real as crushing on a love interest in a dating sim. Instead, Martin leaned in, and Jon leaned in to match him. Martin locked eyes with him, as sincerely as he possibly could. No lies, no artifice. “Stop projecting your insecurity about your own bad decisions on me,” Martin enunciated clearly, and Jon’s eyes widened in shock. “and get out of my house.”

He did, eventually. Maybe that was one of a million surprising things about Jonathan Sims, or whatever his real name was: Martin could always get him to do what he wanted eventually. 

***

Martin did not spend time thinking about Jonathan Sims, mostly because he had the feeling that this was what Jonathan Sims wanted. 

Instead, he frantically piled more and more projects and work into his free time. Ever since he was seventeen, Martin had always held down at least three jobs. His life was a never-ending rotation of a six am to three pm shift at Papa John’s, then a three pm to ten pm shift at Panera, and then stumbling home to stuff a ready meal in the microwave before doing it all over again only to work his third weekend job on the weekends. It had gotten to the point where he had paid the unemployed downstairs neighbor living on disability cheques to feed and occasionally take care of Mum because he hadn’t had time to do it himself. Martin could have have just dropped a job and scraped by on two so he could take care of Mum himself, but - well, it wasn’t hurting anybody. His neighbor had needed the cheques, right?

In comparison, the Institute had been an absolute dream. Work from nine to five, every day, then come home and crash. There had been benefits, insurance. It probably said something that even after discovering that both of his bosses had been cultists to Lovecraftian horrors who wanted to end the world or whatever, it was still the best job he ever had. He even missed it, sometimes - missed listening to Sasha and Tim joke around, missed the repetitive work, missed harmlessly and shallowly crushing on his persnickety boss who sometimes flashed a smile at him that made his heart melt. 

Fucker had known exactly what he was doing. 

That was what got Martin, even now. What had been the point? Jon had been there to infiltrate Elias’ plans for a Head Archivist, or so Sasha had confusingly explained after the fact. The skeptic, pissy act was to show himself off as an ideal candidate: willfully ignorant, psychologically vulnerable, and utterly isolated from everyone. What was the point of...of...seducing Martin?

The thought made Martin want to die. Imagine living a life where you woke up in the morning and thought to yourself, ‘Today I’m going to seduce the ugly, fat, high school dropout in my extensive long con to save/destroy the world’. It was like he was a movie star in a heist film or something, only cruel and pointless. 

Was it just to make fun of him? Martin had thought it was. But as he...interacted with Jon more and more, he got the sense that his fascination with Martin was genuine. He genuinely saw something of himself in Martin. 

Unless that was a lie too, and he just needed something from Martin. Unless Jon knew that Martin knew that he was conning him, and that there was another reason -

Martin had the terrible sense that Jon lived his life like this, always guessing and second guessing and triple guessing. It sounded...very tiring. 

He didn’t know how to explain any of this to Tim. They got together every so often for drinks - actually, Tim texted him asking to hang out, playing it all cool as if he went out and got drinks with tons of buddies all the time but was doing Martin a favor. Martin had the sense that he was hiding a deep and pervasive loneliness, but these days whenever Martin went down too deep a spiral of teasing out motivations he felt like Jon, so he quickly cut it out. 

“What’s there to get?” Tim said, throwing back his pint. “He’s an asshole who pretended to be our friend for months, and he turned out to be a total creep who leads a spider cult. You know, as happens sometimes!”

Sometimes Martin got the sense that Tim was a little bitter about what happened at the Archives. He didn’t really have a good thread on why yet, but he had the sense it was because Tim had ‘adopted’ Jon as his friend very intensely and that made him react badly to the perceived betrayal - no! No psychoanalyzing! Not today! 

“It do be like that sometimes,” Martin said wisely, peeling away the label at his shitty beer. The bar was crowded, noisy, and dim, and it was hard to hear Tim over the noise. “I don’t know, though. If that was all there was to it, he wouldn’t be showing up at my house all the time…”

“Wait, what?”

Martin explained in short order, trying not to feel embarrassed about it. Tim seemed to grow increasingly furious, and Martin found himself trailing off uncertainly near the end. 

“He’s doing the same thing to Sasha,” Tim said lowly. “Fucking freak.”

“Wait, what? He’s been bothering Sasha?” Jesus, that really was creepy. Come to think of it, Martin hadn’t seen Sasha around lately - she used to come get drinks with them right after they all got fired, but the last three invites she had begged off and said that she was ‘dealing with a lot right now’ and that she was ‘really swamped’. Martin was pretty sure that she was also unemployed, so he didn’t really know what she was swamped with, but it wasn’t any of his business. Maybe she was depressed. “Like, is he also trying to recruit her into the spider cult, or…?”

Weirdly, Martin felt a weird pang of disappointment at that. He had thought that what he and Jon had was special. 

Ha ha. As if. 

“I don’t know!” Tim cried, frustrated. He was gripping his pint glass tightly, as if he wished he was wrapping his fingers around Jon’s very slim and attractive neck instead. “First he keeps bothering Sasha, and now he keeps breaking into your house and flirting with you -”

“What!” Martin squeaked. “He’s not -”

“He’s a predator,” Tim said finally, as if he was a judge delivering a verdict. “Fucking freak. Martin, next time he drops by, I want you to call me immediately. I’ll kick his ass for you.”

“I’m a grown man, I can kick his ass by myself,” Martin said lamely, fully aware that he had never kicked an ass in his life and never would. 

“Don’t let that bully intimidate you,” Tim lectured, like the overbearing big brother Martin had always kind of secretly wanted. “He’s just a grifter, spider cult or not. Seriously, Martin, next time he bothers you call me. I have more than a few things I want to say to the bastard.”

It was heartwarming, almost. “You haven’t seen him since he killed Elias, right?”

Tim looked away, scowling. “Nope. Dunno why, if he’s hassling you two. I’m the only one with some serious questions I need to ask him, and he hasn’t even - whatever.” He looked back at Martin, forcing a great big smile. “Really, if he wants a hottie, why isn’t he knocking on my door, right? Like, come on, I’m single and ready to -”

“How’s the job hunt going, Tim!”

“I’m trying to get back into publishing, what do you think! Kill me!”

Martin liked Tim. If you had asked him four months ago if they were really friends, he would have smiled and deflected, because he was pretty sure that Tim was just that friendly to everybody. Martin always felt insecure with friendly and nice people, because he never knew if they were being friendly to him because they liked him and considered him a friend, or if they were just like that with everyone. 

But they still got drinks when they didn’t have to, and the expression of tight and barely controlled rage that flashed through his face when he thought that Sasha and Martin were in danger from Jon was real. Maybe they really were friends. 

Maybe there was something deeply buried and long since repressed in Tim that was destroying him slowly from the inside. Maybe Martin and Sasha had that too, that rot: the way Sasha would carelessly invade privacy to hack inside people’s private files without even thinking about it, the way that Martin would almost instinctively balance impression management with playing down to expectations with always dissecting people in a ruthless search for a weak point without even thinking about it. 

Maybe they were all bad people, every one of them. It felt sometimes as if Martin had a corrupt and diseased heart, that infected parts of his body with a sick necrosis. He hurt people when he didn’t want to; he said things he didn’t mean. There was something rotten and evil in Martin, and sometimes it felt as if he couldn’t help but pass it along from person to person.

Man hands on misery to man, Phillip Larkin said, it deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, and don’t have any kids yourself. 

Well, Martin had the second part down. He was still working on the first. 

***

But Martin was right to worry, because when he woke up at seven the next morning to shamble into his living room, he flipped the light switch to see Jonathan Sims sitting on his grandma couch flipping through his meager collection of books. 

“You don’t read very much, do you?” Jon said.

“How did you get into my house.”

“Told the landlord I was the exterminator and needed to get in to spray for bugs.” Jon tossed the book on the battered coffee table - 1984 - and reclined on the sofa. “You really do have quite a bit of spiders, though. Want me to take care of that? Do you want more spiders? I can get you as many spiders as you like.”

The way he sat was purposeful, the way one of his black boots with a low heel was propped on the coffee table, the way his dark and closely cut trousers were slightly splayed, his tight black turtleneck highlighting his figure was slightly hidden by a fine white silk jacket. The small part of Martin’s mind that used to work at a dry-cleaners inanely wondered how difficult that jacket was to keep clean. Most of Martin’s mind was occupied realizing that Tim was right, and that Jon was flirting with him. 

“What do I have to say to get you to leave my house,” Martin said, instead of asking why, why, why, why. He knew why - spider cult purposes - but why -

“Lots of poetry collections, though,” Jon said, and Martin knew that he had caught him looking. He had a little half-smile: half encouraging, half shy. “You have great taste. I’m a Yeats fan too.”

Sure. “Name one Yeats poem.”

“The Stolen Child,” Jon said instantly.

Martin narrowed his eyes. “What do you like about it?”

Jon was silent. 

“Thought so.” Martin pointed at his door. “Out.”

There it was, a brief explosion, so quick that Martin might have thought he imagined it: grinding teeth, sloping eyebrows, a scowl. A flash of irritation: here one second, gone the next. “I like your poetry, though,” Jon attacked, a different angle. “Your imagery is very vivid.”

What the fuck. “You went through my diary?” Martin screeched. 

“Yes?” Jon looked slightly flummoxed. “I was doing research. People like it when you display interest in their hobbies.”

“I am making coffee,” Martin said, voice strangled, “and I am making breakfast. And if you refuse to leave, you are not saying a single word until I’ve had caffeine.”

And then Martin refused to acknowledge Jon any more. Martin quickly realized that Jon hated this very much, used to being the center of attention wherever he was, and it was an extremely effective method of making him throw himself into a kitchen chair and sulk as the coffee pot sputtered out a cup. Martin focused himself on heating up the pan and cracking a few eggs into a bowl, whisking it absentmindedly as he clenched his mobile. 

He should call Tim. He had never known Jon to get violent, but that didn’t mean anything. The guy was...he was…

He glanced back at Jon, who had his arms crossed and was frowning down at the stained wood of the kitchen table. He didn’t seem to know Martin was looking, and it occurred to Martin for the first time that this might be the authentic Jon: tired and frustrated and uncertain what he was doing wrong. 

The eggs sizzled on the frying pan, and Martin pushed them around with a spatula. “What do you like on your eggs?”

Jon looked up, surprised, before rearranging his expression into something cool and distant. “Surprise me.”

Martin served them cheesy with herbs, just for that. When Jon took a bite he looked surprised, as if he had been expecting something spiteful and received only something good in exchange. 

When he put a cup of Early Grey in front of him, with sugar congealing on the bottom and rosy brown from the cream, he looked surprised again too.

“You’re excellent at reading people,” Jon said, carefully directly after Martin had a sip of his coffee. “Mother would -”

“Do you want to make a bargain?” Martin asked. 

That caught Jon’s attention. He smiled winningly, leaning in, hair carefully arranged to fall over one shoulder in a painfully attractive way. “I could be convinced.”

“If you knock on my door at a reasonable hour, then I will let you in and we can talk or whatever. I’ll make us tea. I don’t care.”

Jon’s grin only widened, and when Martin felt a foot brush his leg he had to fight the urge to jump a foot in the air. “What’ll I do in exchange?”

“You let up on the sales pitch,” Martin said severely, and physically moved his chair further away from Jon. “And you stop lying to me. And for christ’s sake, stop pretending you’re into me.”

 Jon blinked, expression falling in shock. 

He scrambled to paste something back on, but it was as if he couldn’t decide. Martin saw him half-cycle through different expressions, different appearances: abashed, eager, flirtatious. It was as if he was frantically guessing which Jon would work best to convince Martin to do what he wanted, but he just couldn’t decide. 

Finally, he weakly asked, “What makes you think I’m not into you?”

Martin couldn’t help it: he scoffed bitterly. “Guess someone like you was never asked out as a joke in secondary. Nobody would honestly find me attractive. Everything you do is calculated, Jon, and I’m not vain enough to think the flirting is an exception. It’s obvious.”

“I’m not obvious,” Jon said, physically fighting to keep his expression from twisting into anger. It was...obvious. He eventually forced his expression into something wide-eyed and sincere, reaching out a hand to place on Martin’s arm. It was warm, but it settled oddly on Martin’s skin. Something about it didn’t feel like a human arm. “That’s just your low-self esteem talking, love. When I look at you, I see -”

“A sucker?”

Jon opened his mouth, then closed his. His hand was still on Martin’s arm. Martin didn’t know why he hadn’t shaken it off. “I see someone very kind,” Jon said, almost lamely. “I like that in a man.”

“Yeah, sure.” Martin shook his hand off - disgusted with Jon, disgusted with himself. Someone like Jon - attractive, confident, smooth - could never understand how it felt. He didn’t know why he expected him to. “I don’t know why you aren’t leaving me or Sasha alone, or why you’re trying to recruit us both into your spider cult -”

“I’m trying to recruit Sasha into my vigilante superhero team, actually.”

“Whatever. Point is, if I can’t get rid of you, I don’t want our conversations to be exhausting. These...games you’re always playing,” Martin waved his hand demonstratively as he chugged coffee with the other, “are tiring. Maybe - maybe you and I are similar, Jon. But the difference between us is that I find these games tiring. I don’t like doing it. I - what I want is a relationship where there’s no games. Where I can just be me and the other person can just be them. Don’t you want that too?”

Jon stared at him, eyes wide, almost shocked, almost hesitant, almost hopeful. 

Finally, he said, “I only trust three people.”

“I’m not asking you to trust me,” Martin, who trusted nobody, said exasperatedly. What did it say, that the leader of the spider cult trusted more people than Martin did? “I’m just asking you not to lie to me.”

“I don’t know how to do that,” Jon said, before pausing a beat. “I’d trust you if you joined my spider cult.”

“You’re shit out of luck, then. And you’re not going to convince me.” Martin took another sip of his coffee, hiding his trembling hands. “Because you can’t lie to me, Jon. Face it: I’m almost as good as you are.” He smiled wryly. “As good as someone can get without supernatural powers, anyway.”

Jon stared at him, just stared, and Martin let the moment linger in silence as he cut into his eggs. Finally, he said, “You’ll tolerate my presence if I agree to drop the act.”

“Yep.”

“I’m not sure how to drop the act,” Jon admitted, somewhat embarrassed, as if he was admitting to not knowing how to tie his shoes.

Martin rolled his eyes. “Do your best. You must have been normal at one point.”

“When I was normal,” Jon said, “nobody tolerated me at all.”

The shocking honesty made Martin almost gag on his coffee. Jon’s eyes widened again, as if he couldn’t believe what he had just said, as if he had never meant to say it. As if nobody had ever heard it at all. 

“Now that we’re actually getting somewhere,” Martin said, tactfully not touching that barrel of worms - er, spiders - with a two meter pole. “Can you please tell me your real name? Unless it was, like, wiped from your mind by your spider mom? Is this like one of those cult things were they rename you for indoctrination purposes?” Something terrible occurred to him. “Is every guy in your cult named John and every woman named Annabelle? It was just a fake name you gave to Elias, right? Right?”

Jon - whoever he was - stared at Martin, completely and utterly dumbfounded. 

Then he laughed, long and hard, hoarse and wheezing and breathy, and Martin knew that this, at least, was real. 

***

Martin: I think I’ve taken care of the Jon thing

Martin: Probably

Martin: The guy’s kinda hopeless

Tim: ya sash said that hes cool

Tim: apparently shes a vigilante now? or smth? Idk

Martin: Yeah that seems about right

Martin: At least she’s living her best life?

Tim: ya good for her honestly

Tim: ….so does Spider-Man KNOW how to use all eight of those arms ifyaknowwhatimean

Martin: WE! ARE! JUST! FRIENDS!

***

“ - so then after my father passed tragically of brain cancer, I was raised by my emotionally distant and disaffected Gran. I think she’s the one who taught me that if I ever want anything in life, I have to secure it for myself. I’ve been very independent ever since I was a child, and although my social skills have always been naturally lacking I’ve worked to compensate for that by studying the art of social interaction. I guess you could call it somewhat of a special interest of mine, I like to sit in coffeeshops with my sister Annabelle and study passerby -”

“Uh huh.”

“Did you know forty percent of Britons own pets? I think it reveals interesting things about the human psychology. The domestication of dogs has always been fascinating, of course. Did you know that all dogs are descended directly from the grey wolf? There were other wolf species at the time, but they’ve long since gone extinct.”

“Wow.”

“I know! The evolution of what we today determine as dog breeds were only created in the Victorian era. I’m sure Jonah would have had some thoughts on that, if I hadn’t fed him to my mother. Actually, few people know this, but our modern conceptualization of the wolf pack hierarchy has been thoroughly debunked. Alphas and omegas only exist in captive populations. Tell that to the werewolves, huh! Actually, I organize the weekly Avatar poker games - you can come if you’re interested, great way to make some money - and I actually did tell that to the werewolves, and they were not very happy with me -”

“Jon? I can’t hear the movie.”

“Right, right.” Jon passed Martin the popcorn. “So what’s this one about?”

Martin scooped up a handful of the popcorn without shame, feeding it in a steady stream into his mouth. “About a guy who gets turned into a fly.”

“That’s fun,” Jon said warmly. “I turned a guy into a fly once. He got stuck in a spider-web immediately and everything, it was quite entertaining.” At Martin’s horrified look, he quickly followed it up with, “Gerry had found out that he was illegally evicting tenants who were undergoing cancer treatment, asking for rent before it was due and physically intimidating the tenants and everything. He also stole one thousand dollars worth of goods from Whole Foods and everything, which is quite funny if you think about it -”

“How does someone steal a thousand dollars with of stuff from Whole Foods? It’s a grocery store.”

“I know, right!” Jon threw up his hands, accidentally sending some pieces of popcorn flying. “The rich are the true parasites, Martin! I’m speaking as an insect person!”

“Word.” 

Martin ate more popcorn, and noticed Jon carefully brush his crossed legs against Martin’s knee. 

Well, he was trying. He’d stop pretending to like Martin eventually. 

They’d get there. ;

[skinnyziamlove]

i've always wanted to make a fic rec but i never got the chance, but yesterday some friends (@introvertedbitch2302 and @liamislife​) asked if i could recommend them some of my favorite fics and i got all excited and here i'm !!!!

these fics are my precious babies and i love them all so they are not in a specific order (and please be aware of the trigger warnings in the tags before you read them):

Just the two of us and a cute little cup of cyanide

Or an I-accidentally-married-my-best-mate-in-Vegas fic, where Liam's completely oblivious, Zayn's completely in love, Harry's had enough, Louis plays mediator and Niall just wants his best friends to be with each other.

The Underdogs

Zayn Malik hates everything about winter. He hates the snow, he hates scraping the ice from his car, he hates freezing every time he steps outside, he hates wearing hats and heavy jackets. In fact, the only thing he doesn't hate about it are his hockey player buddies and his childhood best friend, Liam Payne, the teenage star hockey player and captain of their small town team.

Good Thing At a Bad Time

Zayn prefers to be on his own. It's easier to survive when you don't have to worry about anyone else. Liam leads a large group of people that have taken residence in an abandoned prison. When Zayn wakes up in a prison cell, all he can think about is finding a way out. Liam makes him want to stay.

I See You Babe, But We Are Both Blind

Zayn's fairly certain the world actually hates him. He's got the shittiest luck, and fate seems to want to fuck with him. But maybe that's exactly what he needs.

One Direction returns to London for a break from their Take Me Home Tour in August 2013, and after an unfortunate run-in at a coffee shop, Liam and Zayn find themselves in a fake relationship. Except, it ends up not feeling fake at all.

through the summertime, winter, spring, and fall

They change with the seasons, burning bright during the summer and biting cold during the winter, but that feeling of being in love Zayn found in the summer clings to him through it all.

Angel of Mine

"I'm Zayn, a third year english student, it's my first time here and," he swallows, throat thick with nervousness, "I guess I'm here ‘cause I'm an alcoholic."

Zayn is a recovering alcoholic and Liam is his sponsor.

Die Young, Stay Pretty

Zayn is happy being a hairdresser who minds his own business; that is, until someone called "Liam" has to come in, dragging his friend on the back of a bet. And, really, Zayn didn't stand a chance.

It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn

At a time in his life when Zayn thinks he has forgotten what genuine happiness feels like, Liam comes into the picture and changes everything.

Mad About the Boys

Or: Five times Zayn and Liam cheat Death and then one more time for good measure.

But You Held the Ice

Every time Zayn gets hurt, Liam is there.

Everything On You Intoxicates

Where Zayn maybe stalks that fit guy from his Intro to Lit class on Instagram.

Tangled Up in You

It turns out Zayn’s flatmate is essentially a disney prince. Zayn wonders how this became his life.

kill monsters in the rain

A story where Liam can't get over how great Zayn is at singing and drawing and pretty much everything, how just being near Zayn is enough to make Liam's life a hundred times better, how lucky Liam is to have a best friend just as dedicated to pretending to be a superhero as he is.

it keeps my veins hot (the fire's found a home in me)

or the one where zayn survives a fire and falls in love with the firefighter that saved him.

This Swirling Storm Inside

Or Frozen AU in which Zayn is the heir to the kingdom of Arendelle. He's also trans, and his lifelong dysphoria is finally reaching a breaking point.

I'll Be Strong For You

When Zayn breaks his leg attempting to skateboard over Harry's car, he ends up stuck in the hospital for two weeks. The only thing he doesn't hate about the hospital is the gorgeous volunteer, Liam, who is almost annoyingly sunny and happy. But Liam's got a secret a secret hidden behind his impossibly bright smile.

And You Know For Me, It's Always You

The Gilmore Girls AU I thought would be a good idea and it turns out, it was.

Beautiful Monster

Or, Zayn is a homeless vampire who, unbeknownst to Liam, has been routinely breaking into Liam's van for a warm place to sleep. When Liam catches him in the act things end up going in a direction no one expected. And then shit gets weirder. Because Liam might also be hiding some secrets of his own...

Z.A.Y.N

For six years, international R&B star Liam Payne has topped the charts with his unique, upbeat songs. Even though he’s proud of where he’s gotten himself, he knows he can’t take all the credit; there’s one particular songwriter that goes by the name ‘Icarus Kalim’ that’s played a huge part in his success. Because of the writer’s ability to craft thought provoking tracks that touch Liam in a way he didn’t even know was possible from afar, the celebrity makes a musical exception for ‘Icarus’, buying the man’s songs for himself, even though he swore he would never put his name on something he had no help in creating. But what happens when Liam finally tricks the soulful poet into meeting him after years of not even knowing what the man looks like? Is ‘Icarus’ really all Liam’s made him out to be in his head or will he be unlike anything the singer could’ve ever dreamt up…

I'm Almost Me Again, He's Almost You

(Or, where Liam searches across time and space for the answer to the question: Who the fuck is Zayn?)

A Full Course Meal

Liam had been dreaming about having his own restaurant for a few years. Money was always an issue, though, so when he heard the Food Network was recording a few episodes of Chopped in his city, he let his best friend talk him into participating.

Many things could go wrong along the way; from ruthless rivals to impossible ingredients, from unforgiving judges to his own mind getting in the way.

He spent long nights fretting about the possibilities and still, he never could have guessed what Chopped really had in store for him.

My Lungs and Your Lilac Eyes

This is a love story. It’s an accident, mostly. Nearly all of them are.

You're My Favorite Story

A zombie outbreak leaves Liam teamed up with Zayn, a stranger with a motorcycle who saves Liam's life. Their world has been turned upside down, and all they really have is each other.

Let's Be Alone Together

After getting his heart broken, Liam escapes his life in London by boarding a plane to Amsterdam. Along the way, he finds someone just as lost as him. Together they might just be able to find themselves.

Money Moves

~Fake Engagement AU with Boss!Liam and Secretary!Zayn ~

in the sun

"This man might wander into my dreams, too, some night. Wouldn’t it be nice, if I could pretend we’d met before? I’ve waited a long time, for such a lord.”

Be cruel to me ('cause I'm a fool for you)

Or the one where Zayn is a stressed out single dad, Liam might just be what he needs, Louis and Niall are always happy to babysit and Harry's a loud snorer.

powerless (and i don't care it's obvious)

"Or the one where Zayn and Liam are in love, Liam has another bro female pal that might have been his beard in high school, Zayn has heartbroken sorta past, Liam is a superhero, Louis and Harry are disgustingly in love as Liam and Zayn are and Liam's friends just want him to not-be-a-virgin anymore.)

[lunaslashsea]

Crossover Fanfic Recs

The Addams Family/Harry Potter

'Family Values' by Ishtar Petunia Dursley discovers that taking care of two small boys is too much for her, so she passes the guardianship of Harry Potter over to a distant relative — Morticia Addams. With Harry growing up in a very different type of Family, Dumbledore desperately tries to get him back. But the Harry Potter who finally arrives at Hogwarts, along with his "cousins" Pugsley and Wednesday, will be nothing like what Dumbledore expects.

The Addams Family/Rise of the Guardians

'Nightmares for Christmas' by Neyiea Not all children are happy that their nightmares have disappeared, and as such North finds himself receiving a very unexpected letter several days before Christmas.

Big Hero 6/The Martian

'Big Hero Martian' by althor42 There would have been no rescue for Mark, if NASA had not noticed he was still alive. Unless of course, a certain Big Hero noticed instead.

Big Hero 6/Marvel

'Magnets for Trouble' by PitViperOfDoom Months after Callaghan's downfall, Hiro receives a surprise in the mail: a special invitation to this year's Stark Expo. With Fred for company, he leaves the protection of the city temporarily in the hands of the rest of the team and flies across the country to meet the man with twice the brains and bank account of Alistair Krei and several times the infamy.

But of course, it can't be that simple, can it? Really, after how his last expo went, he should have seen this coming.

Bleach/Free! Iwatobi Swim Club

'Teamwork for Hire' by junko After the defeat of Aizen, Ichigo has lost his superpowers but not his skills so he's been hiring himself out to any sports team looking for a strong player. When Nagisa Hazuki approaches Ichigo to join the Iwatobi High School Swimming Club, something piques Ichigo's interest…

Bleach/Harry Potter

'Crazy=Genius' series by blackkat Minerva McGonagall isn't about to let Harry go back to the Dursleys after his first year. She finds an alternative, and along the way, Bazzard Black finds that he might have more family left than he'd ever thought.

'Lost Boys' by glacis After the Triwizard fiasco, Harry leaves Britain behind for a new life. Uryuu befriends Ichigo at a much younger age. Sirius escapes. Points converge and lost boys find a family. Isshin fails. So does Ryuuken. Kisuke finds a friend. Ukitake covers and cleans up. Fate changes.

'There May Be Some Collateral Damage' by metisket Ichigo's been ordered to go undercover at a magic school to bodyguard a kid named Harry Potter, and this would be fine, except that he's about as good at bodyguarding as he is at magic. And he considers it a good day, magic‐wise, if he hasn't set anything on fire.

Bleach/Hunger Games

'Storm the World with Reckless Abandon' by SSAerial So due to one of Urahara's failed experiments that Ichigo unluckily got a full blast of (because life hates him and trouble is attracted to him like a clingy fangirl he could do without), Ichigo ends up in a dystopian universe where people take perverse pleasure in watching kids fight to the death. Which just, no. So Panem now has to deal with a pissed of Ichigo who's determined to stop the Hunger Games and pummel Snow to the ground. And Panem doesn't have a snowball chance in hell in stopping him.

Bleach/Lord of the Rings

'Behold the Flowing Years' by Straight‐Outta‐Hobbiton Ichigo escapes his dimension to start anew, away from the memories of death and friendships past that he can't seem to put to rest. Rohan is a beautiful country, and Théoden is a good king, but evil only grows stronger within the borders of Mordor, and Ichigo finds himself once more forced to protect those whom he has grown to love.

Bleach/Marvel

'Foreign Recruit' by SSAerial Ichigo doesn't know where to start. He has no friends, no family, no personal attachments to the world he got dumped into. The Soul King never specified what he was supposed to do in a world where technology is ahead of its time and aliens and secret governments exist. As for the people he has to deal with… Well, it isn't like he hasn't dealt with colorful personalities before.

Bleach/Naruto

'All My Ghosts are at Rest' series by Zakad An older Ichigo and Uryu leave Soul Society and all its problems behind to search for the near-mythical homeland of a particular Shiba ancestor. They find the Elemental Countries and one little boy who is desperate need of a family.

'Bite' by blackkat Orochimaru and his sons crash‐land in Karakura. Soul Society is most definitely not prepared for what's coming.

'A New Home' by Rain1701 In an effort to save her life and freedom, Hitsugaya Toshiro winds up landing head‐first in the Naruto universe two months before the start of canon. Not much stays the same after that.

'Soul of Fire' by Zeionia aka Disturbed After being betrayed by Soul Society, Ichigo and his sisters leave Karakura behind to find shelter with the remains of their grandfather's clan in the Land of Fire. Instead of the peaceful life they were hoping for, they reach Konoha just as a new danger appears to threaten the Uzumaki. Heart‐broken and tired of fighting, will Ichigo be able to protect his sisters and his new home?

Bleach/Stargate

'Stardust' by Vathara What if some Alterans found another way to survive the Wraith? Five thousand years before the Stargate opens, contact with creatures of energy changes the way of life for an Alteran colony…

Card Captor Sakura/Harry Potter

'Cardcaptor Harry' by LunaStorm In which both Albus Dumbledore and Clow Reed would have done well to remember that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in any philosophy… or predicted by the most imprecise branch of magic…

Doctor Who/Marvel

'Alien Taskforce' by TheSovereigntyofReality Just because S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers didn't listen to Tony after the Battle of New York, it doesn't mean no one did.

Downton Abbey/Marvel

'Tony Stark Meets an Extremely Unimpressed Time Traveler, or, Thomas Barrow Makes a Surprisingly Good 21st Century Butler' by Alex51324 In which Tony Stark ditches a boring party, makes an addition to the household staff, throws a much better party, and tries not to sexually harass his new butler.

Or, In which Thomas Barrow has a little trouble getting home from the pub, is generally unimpressed with many aspects of the 21st century, never thought of himself as a conservative dresser before, and may or may not be falling in lust with his new employer.

Gilmore Girls/Stargate

'Physics of the Spin' by Mhalachai Rory Gilmore always thought she was Christopher Hayden's daughter, but things are a little more complicated than that…

Good Omens/Supernatural

'Misfire' by VivatRex Crowley finds himself in another universe; Aziraphale goes to fetch him. In the meantime, Team Free Will has to figure out what to do with the 6,000 year old demon that won't stay in a devil's trap and keeps rooting through Dean's vinyl collection. Shenanigans ensue.

Gundam Wing/Naruto

'Worlds Apart' by Mieren Something went horribly wrong and Duo and Naruto are in the wrong worlds. Ninja vs technology. How could this possibly go wrong?

Harry Potter/Marvel

'Behind the Shield' by GeeEs It was a good thing the new scientist, Dr. Harry Evans, was working out so well. Because nothing else was going Fury's way. And that was before Loki made off with the Tesseract and some of his people. Maybe AU to Mortem Cantor by Kyandua.

'How Harry Failed to Conquer New York' by Impossible_Insanity

'I See The Moon' by hctiB‐notsoB While on the run, Bruce meets a young man who speaks to the moon. He's probably not quite the sanest friend Bruce could have made, but, well… beggars can't be choosers.

'Mischief's Heir' series by mad_fairy Mostly Harry Potter with the addition of Loki in the first parts

'Mortem Cantor' by Kyandua After losing everything he holds dear, Harry Potter is thrust into a new world; one with Superheroes and evil Villains that make Voldemort look like a kitten. Struggling to survive in this new world - and, meanwhile, gaining the attention of S.H.I.E.L.D. - he attempts to live a NORMAL life. But, he is Harry Potter after all... what could possibly go wrong?

'On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads' by Enigmaris Harry finds out that his dad is alive, has been the whole time. Instead of being overjoyed, Harry's disgusted. His dad left earth and abandoned his friends. Every painful thing he's ever gone through can be traced back to one man. Now Harry's got super strength he can't control and an almost unnecessary amount of magical power. His dad might be living it up with the Avengers now but not for long. With the help of his friends, Harry comes up with a plan for revenge. Get ready Avengers, Harry's out to punch a god.

'Safeguard' by esama The Chitauri invasion launches a whole new age – for everyone.

Inuyasha/Yu Yu Hakusho

'Devoted' by Ookami‐chan Loving someone means seeing to it that they receive nothing but the very best of care. In all things.

'Healing Soul' by Trelweny Rosephoenixwolf Canon, IY slightly alternate ending, BG blend but more manga than anime; YYH boys' last year of school but otherwise through series, anime only.

'By Any Other Name' by Deviant Nature Kagome's return after an unexplained, prolonged absence leaves her family with questions she refuses to answer except to assure that it's over. While she attempts to readapt to the present, Kurama is feeling the pressures of human society's expectations. But the solutions to his troubles aren't as straight‐forward as he had hoped. Note: Unrated version is on MediaMiner.net as 'Par Tout Autre Nom'

Harry Potter/Ranma 1/2

'Harry Hibiki and the Philosopher's Stone' by USA_Tiger On the night Voldemort attacks the Potter's home, a completely different person finds Harry before Sirius Black or Hagrid. Harry is found and adopted by Nerima's very own eternal lost boy Ryoga Hibiki! Soon Harry will be joining his classmates at Hogwarts but how will Hogwarts handle this kind of Harry? And how does it affect the prophecy, what is the 'power he knows not?

Harry Potter/Sherlock

'The Avalon Seven' by sifshadowheart Major Non‐Canon A/U, Harry is treated for abuse and massive injuries by John Watson as a John Doe. To help solve the mystery of the battered boy John calls in his partner Sherlock — whose father has much more information about his patient than John ever thought possible. Turning to an old acquaintance, Siger Holmes contacts the Lord of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Wallace…Harry's rightful guardian.

First several chapters will be covering Pre‐Hogwarts years, story starts with Harry at age four so it'll be a while before any sort of slash or real conflict happens. Very political fic with lots of twists and turns. Because the plot‐bunnies won't leave me alone!

'Magnificent' by esama The birth of the Ministry of Magic and his relationship with the British Government.

'Whispers in Corners' by esama Everything started with a stumble — his new life in a new world as well as his surprisingly successful career as a medium.

Harry Potter/Sherlock/Star Trek

'Harder Choices' by sifshadowheart Post‐Avalon Seven A/U…a.k.a. This is what happens when plot‐bunnies start mating and multiplying.

Hadrian saves Earth…at a cost

Hetalia/Naruto

'An Englishman in Konoha' by pupeez4eva Itachi Uchiha is a strange child, who regularly converses with things no one else can see, drinks far too much tea, and has a strong and unyielding obsession with being the best big brother ever (or, in a world where England is reborn into the Naruto universe, Itachi ends up a little��different).

The Hobbit/Sherlock

'All Things Old and New' by teacup_of_doom All around the world, people are remembering past lives. Bilbo Baggins discovers that Tookish streaks can span lifetimes — and can have unintended, hilarious, consequences.

Katekyou Hitman Reborn!/Naruto

'Force of Nature' by Ramabear (RyMagnatar) He had died— honorably, he'd like to think, despite living as a villain and an assassin for over half a century— and that, as far as Xanxus had ever figured, would be the end of that. No heaven. No hell. Just life when you were breathing and nothingness when you stopped.

Except that it didn't, quite, turn out that way. Except he came back as the son of the kindest, sometimes saddest father in the world. In both worlds. A father that he knew, without a doubt, to be his flesh and blood. All at once, Xanxus had everything he'd wanted as a child. A home. A family. Stability. And he was going to fight like hell and beat down anyone who tried to take it from him, no matter what his age.

(In which Sakumo raises a son who speaks multiple languages from birth, all of them gibberish to the poor single father jounin, spits vulgarity with the same ease as he does his praise and burns with an unshakable determination to build himself a family that will not fall, no matter who or what is thrown against it.)

'Uchiha Kyōya' by Tsume_Yuki In a world where Fugaku has three sons, he wishes he'd stopped at the one. There's nothing wrong with the youngest, it's just…

The middle child.

Marvel/Sherlock

'In Which Neither Coulson nor Sherlock are Dead' by TheDullYellowEye … and John sort of joins the Avengers. While Coulson's recovering from being stabbed in the chest by a magical spear, Fury is rapidly running out of Agents willing to play babysitter for the newly founded Avengers. So he calls in Captain John Watson, late of the British Royal Army, and blogger and best friend to the infamously antisocial presumably deceased Sherlock Holmes.

Naruto/One Piece

'Lost Uzumaki' by Silver Dragonfly (lillikira) Shanks was used to strange meetings on the various islands of the Grand Line. However, this one was unusual even for the Grand Line. A Lost Uzumaki is found and Naruto has no plans of not becoming part of his family. (A Series of Snapshots about the finding of lost family.)

Naruto/Pern

'One World's Tragedy is Another World's ...Gain?' by Foodmoon Pern goes to hell in a handbasket. Ir'ca tries to rescue the future of dragonkind by being a thief and somehow ends up in the Land of Fire. It's probably a good thing Kakashi handed over the Hat a while back...

Naruto/Sherlock

'Deduction in Shadows' by GremlinSR Shikaku just wanted to finish his paperwork before lunch so he could squeeze in an afternoon nap. His plans are derailed by a six year old orphan when she sneaks into his office with proof that somebody has been kidnapping the children of Konoha and covering it up.

He never does end up getting that nap.

Or: A Holmes is reborn into the ninja village Konoha. Chaos ensues

Rise of the Guardians/Marvel

'Constellations of Old' by kuroi_atropos When the Man in the Moon recognizes Thor as a representative of Asgard, he decides to send the Guardians of Childhood to ask for help vanquishing the last of shadows, as well as a few other things he could use some help with.

'Winter Gods' by avearia The Guardians discover that, outside of Earth, many races actually worship Jack as a God. Meanwhile, the Avengers deal with the implications that come with an almighty spirit, otherworldly religions, and the revelation that Santa is real.

[flokive]

weather boy - cth

description: fratboy!cal au with a LOT of vine references // part two of a 4 part series: a year in the life of calum and his roommate. part one is right here writers note: don’t really have a lot to say actually, i just really really really hope you all like it!! xx wordcount: 1965

warnings: none really, just a lot of pining over each other and some drinking?

//

winter

++

It's nearly 12 am when Calum finally walked into the living room, wearing only his pajama trousers, with a big grin on his face. You took a quick glance at his torso as he stretched with a soft yawn and plumped next to you on the couch. Your cheeks turning a soft pink when you feel the warmth radiating off of his body. His familiar scent greeting your nostrils, making you want to nuzzle your face in his neck and never leave. It took you some willpower to not go right ahead and press your lips on his, letting your fingers run through his hair. Your thoughts get interrupted by Calum’s sleepy voice.

"God, Gilmore. Is there ANYthing better than pussy?” You let out a big sigh, put down your book, and looked your brown-haired friend in his eyes. "A really good book." You tried to keep a stern and serious face but the moment Calum recognized the words, his face lit up and he started to laugh, causing you to fail in keeping your stern look. “God, woman. Do you ever, not, speak in vine references?” You shook your head and laughed, quickly patted Calum’s leg, and continued reading your book as Calum turned on the tv. Both of you enjoying each others company and your Saturday morning.

++

When you walked in your living room after a long day of studying and hoping for some peace and quiet, you stumbled upon your roommate and some random girl making out on your couch. The very couch you wanted to claim for the rest of the night to watch Gilmore Girls and eat pizza. You growled and dropped your heavy book bag, startling the two lovebirds. 

“Fuck.. this shit. I’m out.” You huffed angrily and stormed out of the apartment, tears started to form in your eyes.

“Hey! Babe, wait up!” Calum yelled as he ran after you, getting a hold of your wrist, making you stop in your tracks. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, “I didn’t know you would be home so soon.” He apologized softly, tugging your arm to try and get you to turn around. You blinked furiously, trying to get your eyes back to normal before facing your roommate. Apparently, you didn’t quite succeed because when Calum got a good look at your face, his eyebrows knotted and a sad expression showed in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” He whispered softly, cupping your face, his eyes tried to meet yours. “Nothing.” You said flatly, trying to avoid looking into his eyes. “Look at me,” Calum demanded, holding your face a little bit tighter, and you had no choice but to finally meet his gaze. Tears formed in your eyes when you thought back at the moment you saw him sitting there, with another strange girl. 

“Hey…” his voice was soft in your eyes, making you tear up even more. “Talk to me, petal.” You shook your head, clearly not wanting to talk about what made you tear up. “Just,” you spoke softly, barely audible. “Just leave me alone, Calum.” You tried to pry loose from his grab, he let you. “Just, you have a guest to entertain. I’ll be fine.” Calum opened his mouth to say something in return but you just shook your head, turned on the back of your heels, and walked away from your roommate. Leaving him speechless and confused. He couldn’t really figure out what he had done to make you feel sad. 

As badly as he wanted to follow you, pull you close and comfort you, he knew you didn’t. So he left, walked back to the apartment, only to find the blonde girl he didn’t know the name of waiting for him, wearing a very short dress, leaving nothing to the imagination. Trying to get the image of you crying out of his head, the took off his shirt and guided the blonde to his bedroom. When the girl finally left the apartment, he was regretting the decision to take the girl back to your apartment in the first place. She had only been a distraction, to get his feelings out of the way, knowing they’d probably stay unrequited. Something that had obviously failed when he saw your face again the morning after.

As a few days go by, the two of you haven’t really spoken a word about what happened. You kinda went back to how things were, just having fun as friends and nothing more, really. All though, you noticed, there clearly were less girls staying over in the apartment than before.

++

*Please, help, this girl just won’t LEAVE!* 

Calum texted you, your grunt muffled by your cushion. You have been lying awake all night, partly because of the noise Calum made when he came home drunk, again, with some random girl, again. Partly because you’ve been crying in your bed all night, thinking about Calum. About the other girl now laying in his bed, probably nuzzled against his broad chest, sulking up his fragrance, feeling his soft touch all over her body. Obviously, the feelings you had for your roommate never really faded away since the last time you saw Calum together with a girl.

Your phone buzzed again, an awkward, pouty faced selfie lit up your screen, a text reading ‘pretty please’ arriving soon after. You huffed in annoyance as you stand up, bitter thoughts that he only needed you when you needed to scare away some chick, swirled around in your brain. With your sweatpants in your hands, you looked in the mirror, hanging on your bedroom door. Looking at your reflection, you saw yourself standing there, your legs bare and your ass barely covered up by one of Calums t-shirts you snatched out of the fresh laundry a few weeks ago. 

A devilish smile appeared on your face, thinking about how Calum’s face would change if you were to walk into his room, barely covered, wearing his favorite shirt. You threw your sweats back on your bed and decided to change your casual underwear to some lacey panties. “Go big or go home, Gilmore.” you whispered to your self as you took one last glance in the mirror.

"I didn’t get no sleep ‘cause of y’all! You’re never getting sleep ‘cause of me!” You yelled, barging into the Calum room, beating on some pans, startling your roommate, and the girl laying next to him. “The fuck…” Calum starts but quickly trailed off when he sees you wearing his old Led Zeppelin tee. His eyes traveled up and down your body, lingering, maybe too long, on your exposed ass when you raised your arms to bang on the pans. He never really noticed your bare legs, the way your body looked, hidden away under his t-shirt. His… t-shirt. He slowly licked his lips at the thought of you wearing more, and less, of what’s actually his.

“What the fuck?!” A shriek next to him made Calum peel his eyes away from your ass, looking at the girl next to him. “Aren’t you going to do something about this?!” The blonde girl screamed, frantically pointing at your crazy roommate. He shrugged, the girl exclaimed some profanity’s and quickly got up, gathered her stuff and ran out of the apartment. 

“Good one..” Calum breathed shakily, still checking you out. You gave him a weak smile, dropped the pans on his bed, and walked out of his room, giving a little bit more sway in the way you walked than you did before. 

“Damn Gilmore,” Calum whispered as you closed the door to your own bedroom, “damn, you look good in my shirt.”

++

It’s the first time you came along to a frat party together with Calum. When you entered the big, white fraternity house, you immediately spotted the heads of Calums friends and eventually also Calum’s brown curls. You greeted them with a shy smile, gave Calum a tight hug, and looked around you, watching the boys and girls dancing on tables and playing games like beer pong. 

“Just, grow a fucking pair dude and talk to her.” You heard Calum tell someone. You shifted your attention back to your roommate’s friends and saw that he was talking to Kyle. “What the fuck is up Kyle..” Calum stated jokingly, making you smile. Kyle said something you couldn’t quite understand, but joined Calum anyway. 

“No what did you say, what the fuck dude.” Calum started laughing and joined you in yelling the last line. “Step the fuck up KYLE!!” The boy shook his head at the sight of the two on you and mumbled something like, “you really are perfect for each other,” as he stumbled away, getting another drink before stepping up to the girl they were talking about.

“Well,” you laughed and took a sip of the drink Calum just made you, “the pep talk worked. Look!” You pointed at the couple, now kissing against the stairwell. “Of course it worked, doll.” Calum slurred, he took another gulp of his beer as he casually slung his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close. The heath crept up your neck and cheeks as Calum casually brushed his lips against your ears, slowly swaying his hips against yours on the rhythm of the music. 

Roses pumped out of the many speakers surrounding the two of you, empty bottles of beers were scattered around the room, people danced on tabletops and you never wanted to leave the arms of your roommate. A new red cup got pushed in your hands by Calum, him still holding you close as the song transitioned to Filthy by Justin Timberlake. Calums laugh ringed in your ears as he recognized the tune and quickly turned you around so the two of you were dancing face to face. 

He quickly downed his beer, you’ve lost count how many had been drinking. He began dancing in robot-like movements, quickly changing to sexier dance moves as the song progressed. “All my haters gon' say it's fake. I guess I got my swagger back.” A devilish grin appeared on his face. “I said, put your filthy hands all over me.” His index finger beckoned you to come closer. “Baby, don't you mind if I do. Exactly what you like times two. Got me singin', ooh, ooh’.” His lips found your earlobes again, the words he sang gave you goosebumps everywhere on your body.

As the music swelled, the alcohol took more control of your body and you found yourself grinding with Calum. His hands lay on your exposed hips and his face was buried in your hair, your mind wandered to the things that could happen if the two of you were to continue dancing like this. Your left hand met his neck, your fingers intertwined with his hair, your right hand swayed with you to the music. The two of you danced like you didn’t have a care in the world, the two of you completely living in the moment.

The filthy song changed into Kill The Lights and the moment the two of you had, stopped as quickly as it started. A lot of whoo’s echoed in the packed living room as Calum’s friends joined you again, holding new, freshly made drinks. You quickly stepped back, letting go of the man’s neck and accepted the drink. The vodka slightly burned your throat as you gulped it down, trying to drown out what just happened. The alcohol made you looser, made you lose your carefully built wall to protect you against everything and everyone. The wall you build to keep the feelings you’ve been building up all these weeks, in a dark corner of your mind, trying to not give in and finally accepting that you really were falling in love with your roommate.

 //

taglist: @ashtonsos - @another-lonely-heart​ - @calmlftv - @cthofficial​ - @easierlftv​ - @kingcals​ - @lonely-hearts​ -  @spicycal​ 

want to be added to my taglist? let me know

[siren1song]

In Which Jo Loves Content Creators

I’m in a mushy mood. This means it’s time to snipe people with my love for their work and affection for them as people. (People I don’t know that well/talk to regularly won’t be as personal as people as I’ve made good friends with! All to avoid making anyone uncomfortable <3)

I’m going to start with @sleepless-in-starbucks, because of course I’m starting with Lia. I know I’ve made a literal collaboration post with Max about how much I love them and their work, but Also how can I not mention once again how sweet and funny they are? I vowed that one day, I would rick roll them, they don’t believe I can, but I will, one day. Also they’re really good at comforting people??? And let me scream about some of my favorite fics/tropes to them. I also really enjoy talking to them about stuff I’m working. Listen. Lia is great, okay?

Speaking of @max-is-tired did you know they’re an incredibly sweet datemate who’s super considerate and easy to talk to and gosh I love them a whole lot? Not to mention their writing and ideas are phenomenal!!!! Max is so big brained!!!!! I will never stop expressing my love for them ever.

Oh, oh, oh!!!! @thechildoflightning is also really super sweet!! I became a huge fan of their writing through their daemon prinxiety au!! And my love of their work just kept expanding as I read the jksf verse they’ve worked so hard on! Their research is expansive!! And did you know they’re really cute when they info dump? I asked them to tell me about the bird facts the other day because I wanted to hear their info dumping and it was really cool information!!! I learned a lot about a really cool bird!!

(This is going to get long... time for a cut!)

Another segue! You know who else I’ve learned a lot from? @lilfellasblog who is so cool? And kind???? And smart? Sometimes, I’ll ask them questions in a joking way and then I’ll end up learning something and wow! That’s so cool! And they don’t mind simplifying things for me when I ask! And their fic, Healing Broken Wings? An actual masterpiece, though if you check it out I recommend reading tags thoroughly. And if you have questions about a tag, ask them! They’re so willing to elaborate to make sure you’re able to stay safe!!! They care more about your safety than your readership!!!!! And that’s so awesome! I love Lil so much! A great friend and an amazing writer!

A friend I don’t really talk to nearly as much as the others but who I still care about a whole lot is @illogicallyinclined. They say they can’t write, but bullet fics are a Valid Form of Writing, and also their art? Stunning? They’re the reason I started appreciating Logan a whole lot more than I used to, and their hockey au  is really good (and Jam Packed with Logan Angst if you’re into that.) They’re also hilarious to talk to. I have chatted about Virgil and Logan being huge ass meme’s with them on multiple occasions.

Someone I’ve only recently started talking to is @sign-from-god-complex who’s actually really cool? I was talking to him about my love for fandom content creators before I decided to make this post and of course I had to include him? I’m literally going to be bingeing his writing as soon as I finish this Love and Appreciation post because it’s amazing! I can’t believe I haven’t read more of his work before! A travesty, honestly!!! And oh my God his music is good? Literally the whole reason I joined his server and started talking to Lo in the first place was because he was really nice when I asked him how downloading music worked because I’ve only ever done that onto an MP3 (I know, I’m old) and even then I had to have help because I’m not adept with technology. A great singer and writer!

Now for people I’ve never talked to personally but really want to show my appreciation for... Goodness, there’s so many?

I’m gonna start this section with @princeanxious who’s writing, art, and ideas in general are amazing? Have you seen his coma au? Heart wrenching. His Lost Guardian au? Beautiful world building! His punk lo/pastel dee au? Adorable oh my goodness I can’t get enough!! I tried to talk to him once, but I kind of got scared I was bothering him, but he seems really nice!!!!

Did I mention soulmate au’s earlier? I did. You know who writes really cool and great soulmate aus? @not-so-innocent-bi-sander and MAN is their writing great! Have you read their vampire soulmate au? That was so cute??? I loved Logan’s internal conflict with changing Patton and Roman, gosh? And they have such interesting au ideas too? Like I have actually never heard the concept of Lockets before, and it was such a fascinating idea for a soulmate au? I mean, obviously they have other fics that aren’t soulmate aus, like their prinxiety fic Overcoming a Legacy? Stunning, I am pretty sure I stayed up really late reading that one.

Speaking of fics that made me stay up late (so many segue’s) @impatentpending ‘s fic Powerless had me up from 5:30 pm when I started reading it to 2:30 am when Max finally woke up and distracted me long enough to make me shower and go to bed cause I had work in the morning. Do I regret it? No. Powerless is a stunning fic with an amazing concept. I can’t tell you how excited I was to read a fic where Virgil willingly took on a villain role to protect his loved ones. And also I’m going to physically fight Missy, she can catch these hands. I can’t really give much else on the rest of her fics, because I tend to avoid anything that might not end happy (I’m five chapters away from finishing Powerless, and I’m only just now getting skeptical they might not get their happy ending so count me scared) but I have no doubt everything she’s written is just as good, if not better since this fic was finished in 2018? Wow.

Another fic that had me up super late was @lovelylogans gilmore girls au where you lead, i will follow. Don’t be fooled by the eleven chapters, that fic is over 100k words but God is it so worth it to read every single one. You don’t even need to be familiar with the show the au is based on, it’s amazing either way. The characters, the plot, the romance, all absolutely stunning. I will personally fight Patton’s mom. And the rest of her fics! Wow!!! Stunning, amazing, wonderful, beautiful, I’m running out of adjectives. I loved their princess bride bullet fic a whole lot, that was fun.

If you ever see me gushing about mermaid aus, please know that @voidsides au is Probably my favorite take on it. The prinxiety! The sassy virgil!!! The Logan being so done with Roman’s shit. Literally the one comic with Logan interaction I could practically see “Roman I swear to god if you don’t stop flirting with the fish I’m going to push you into the water” in his words. He didn’t say it, but man he was definitely thinking it.

Oh man, I can’t forget to mention the person who got me into g/t-slash-borrower sides @infinimay cause his content? Amazing, really. I found him when someone I follow reblogged one of his halloween fics and I fell in love and proceeded to binge the rest of their writing. Amazing, really. I really love the giant hermit virgil and hiker logan ones a lot. There’s more that I definitely love a whole lot as well, but I can’t currently match content with titles right now and if I go through I’ll get caught up and forget to come back to this post, but just know I love

Another giant/tiny writer I really love who I fell in love because of his amazingly written alien au- @delimeful WIBAR is currently one of my fic obsessions and I might reread it soon because it’s so good? I love the world building and how he’s written the characters so much. The rest of his work is Also Great? The fic where Virgil turns into a dragon when stressed? Amazing I can’t wait for it to continue.

@tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors You got me so in love with laoft I think about it often. Scary Virgil?? Changeling Logan???? Witch Roman???? Gifted Patton????? I want to cry I love them so much. And God, May! May Gage is a disaster of a woman but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love her. I just. I love this au so much and it’s gotten me to love fae lore so much like I used to. I want to reread this au now, crap. Wait I need to read Lo’s stuff first. Double crap.

Oh man. speaking of writer’s who keep bringing up fae and reminding me how much I love them, @lefaystrent I hope you know your parental shenanigans on my dash bring me life. I didn’t know carbonated milk existed until last night. Kind of wish I was still ignorant on that particular topic. Either way, your fae virgil fic? Amazing. I got so super excited every time I saw an update, and that epilogue? A beautiful ending, if you ask me.

@stillebesat I start screaming in excitement, reading your Interview fic. When I found it, I became so in love with the fic I had a really hard time reading anything else and I frequently checked your blog looking for an update. I am so in love with it, and honestly there’s lots of questions I have about it but if I ask all of them this post will be even LONGER and it’s so massive already.

@today-only-happens-once You’re writing is amazing. So many of your fics are so stunning?? I fell in love reading The Only Exception. Still need to go through your masterlist thoroughly, but man everything I’ve read from you so far is so well written and takes my entire heart.

This post wouldn’t be complete without @notalwaysthevillian who actually got me to start shipping Logince with her fic Shattering Stereotypes. And then there’s of course her tangled prinxiety au??? Which I actually really gotta finish but what I’ve read of it? Amazing. 

Oh crap. If void has my favorite artistic mermaid au, @teacupfulofstarshine has my favorite written au. LDAD is a stunning fic and I would die for it. And also her recent atla au fic? I was screaming over it. Also also her moxiety dad au series she did for halloween had my entire heart. Every installment of that series had me so incredibly soft I probably could have cried.

And finally, @randomslasher I really love your writing. Your fic, Starved was one of the first I read in the fandom and I adored every single word. I haven’t actually had the chance to really sit down and binge any of your work that I could find, but I plan on fixing that soon. It’s also?? Really nice to see an older fander! As someone in their twenties and constantly seeing how young everyone is, it’s comforting knowing I’m not the only one!

That’s everyone I wasn’t scared of bothering! Everyone who I wanted to shower in my love for their work (and affection for the people I talk to!) This isn’t really in any particular order, beyond me separating the people I talk to from the people I don’t. This post is massive, but I hope everyone enjoys my appreciation for their content!

[pseudowoodo]

M, T, and U for the fic asks?

thanks! this got really long so i put the second two under the read more. questions are from here

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

lol so many. here’s my list of wips

dair

a prequel/dan pov to my ues dan/brooklyn blair fic

libeled lady au

gentlemen prefer blondes au

sabrina au

the 100 au (s1 only lol)

seblaine

got a few chapters left of my s3 mckinley au and then i’ll probably do more little s4 one shots. i’ve got part of a glease one written

i have like 8000 words of a roman holiday au?? i think it was for one of the seblaine week promps last year but i didn’t finish in time. it needs a lot of work and i haven’t decided whether to stay true to the movie ending or not

a fuller version of post-series seblaine at nyu together

other

i know i’ve already written a room with a view au for dair but i also have one for jess/rory lol. it’s a modern au though, set between s4 and 5 when rory goes to europe with emily. the big difference from canon is that luke moved to nyc to help take care of jess when his dad skipped out so neither of them know the gilmores when they run into rory in italy

a zutara fic where aang doesn’t reappear to defeat the firelord so zuko and katara, who beat azula as planned, are now stuck in the middle of the fire nation cut off from the rest of the resistance. high stress fake dating ensues.

i’d forgotten about half of these so let me know which sound interesting! i can do the wip meme thing of posting an excerpt

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

not really? the only thing that’s an automatic no for me is first person fic. i’m also generally not a fan of arranged marriage/imprinting/soulmate au stuff, all those tropes that skip over the getting together part and make it mandatory. that said, i have liked fics with each of those so it’s not a dealbreaker.

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

i mean, margottenenbaum’s gossip girl fics are like half the reason i still devote any thought to gossip girl. they’re so incisive and perfectly capture who these characters are, or who they could have been, and there’s always at least one line that just knocks you out. shout out to according to keats and fitzgerald, the fic that made me love serena, and without a key, the fic that made me love nate and was one of the things that inspired my own s1 role swap au.

similarly, i think xsaturated’s glee fics are most of the reason i’m into seblaine at all. i originally quit glee after s2 and wasn’t part of the fandom so these fics were what made me fall in love with blaine and sebastian, both the characters and the ship. shout out to a caution to the birds, the first glee fic i ever read and still my favorite, and this blaine/jesse friendship fic, which is a delight.

another favorite is chash, who is so unbelievably prolific i still can’t wrap my mind around it. there was a several year period where there would be at least one new chash bellarke fic a week and they would always brighten my day. they’ve got a hallmark movie like comfort to them and honestly, the further divorced they are from the show the better.

[windsroad]

for part 2 of “fics I may never finish” have chapter 1 of my critical role regency au! there’s another chapter and a half after this.

Chapter 1

The country surrounding Emon did not know what hit it when Vax’ildan and Vex’ahlia Vessar arrived.

Sir Percival de Rolo, fairly new to the country himself, did not know what to do with them, either. He had recently rented Greyskull Manor after making his fortune through the navy. He had made back all he had lost, at least monetarily—no one was quite willing to ask after what he had lost otherwise. However he had, to the best of his abilities, not rocked the boat.

But Mr. Vax’ildan Vessar and Miss Vex’ahlia Vessar… they were entirely willing to do so. Gleefully so, it seemed, as though they did not recognize the rules they were breaking. Which was not surprising, Sir Percival conceded. The Vessar twins were the natural children of one Mr. Vessar of Syngorn. They had been raised by their mother, outside of good society, with little knowledge or care of their parentage. Mr. Vessar, an ambassador to Emon, had recently called for them to join him. He claimed them publically and wished them to enter society.

Or so they say.

Sir Percival, as much as he liked to stay removed from anything one could remotely call troubling, found the stories of them interesting. And he had a duty to fill as the most prominent member in the country to greet any newcomers. So Sir Percival found himself writing invitations.

Vex and Vax sat together in their father’s drawing room and stared in dismay at the invitation they had just received.

“We’ve been invited to a ball,” said Vex, surprise hiding the bit of worry in her voice. “I mean, invited, on purpose, to a private ball.”

Vax waved it aside, tossing an embroidered cushion as he did so. “He’s just doing it because he has too. We don’t have to go.”

Vex rounded on him. “Brother, you don’t mean to say you’re not going? We must go!”

Vax leaned forward in a conspiratorial gesture. His dark hair hung loose around his shoulders, shadowing his face and aiding the dark look. “Vex’ahlia, you needn’t impress them! They’re not worth it.”

Vex shook her head. “No, I… I want to go. Please, let’s go. I can’t without you. Think of the fun we could have!”

Vax sighed and leaned his head back in defeat. “Fine. But only for you, Stubby!”

Vex smiled and settled back into her seat, satisfied that she’d successfully convinced her brother of her way. She picked up the task she had been pursuing before the footman had been delivered the invitation—cleaning and restringing a hunting bow. A decidedly unfeminine task that their father disapproved of greatly. 

“But you must be careful of these titled men,” continued Vax. “All stuffed shirts, the lot of them. I know you can handle yourself whatever may happen, but that’s no reason for you to go out and get your heart broken by conniving—conniving—”

“Me!” said Vex, looking up from her bow once again. “If those with high standing trouble you, surely you don’t think I haven’t noticed you noticing that charming girl with the red—” 

“You’ve defeated me,” said Vax. “No need to continue.”

They both paused a moment. Vex attended to her bow. Vax fiddled with some trinket he had picked up god-knows-where.

“Do you think she’ll be there?” he asked.

“One can only hope.”

Vex insisted that she and Vax must prepare for the ball. They must appear wealthy when they wreaked havoc upon the upper echelons, she said. Vax slipped into a small shop selling trinkets and baubles while his sister sifted through ribbons, hair decorations, anxieties. He’d always had a bad reputation—and the bad habit to go with it—of a filcher. Sometimes he saw pretty things he felt no one would miss and his family’s money purse would certainly appreciate.

He didn’t need the money now. It was merely out of habit that he looked at wares in the window. But walking inside, something of his was stolen instead.

The man at the shop counter—the owner, Vax thought—was a well-dressed man of dark complexion and charming visage. As Vax walked in, the man smiled brightly, aimed like a sunbeam. Vax found himself forgetting the baubles he’d admired.

“Good- good day, sir,” said Vax, stumbling over his words. He cast about in his memory for the name he’d seen on the sign outside. “Mr. Gilmore, you are?”

The man laughed a charming, rich laugh, and stuck his hand across the counter. “And you are Mr. Vax’ildan Vessar. The whole town is talking about you,” he said. “You must call me Gilmore. I foresee us becoming great friends.”

Vax grabbed Gilmore’s hand in greeting. “I usually prefer to stay out of people’s attention,” said Vax’ildan, shaking Gilmore’s hand and smiling like an idiot. “Gilmore it is. But then you must call me Vax’ildan.”

“Vax’ildan!” said Gilmore. “You move so fast!”

Vax laughed and realized he was still pumping the other man’s hand. “Vessar is my father,” he said, letting go and casting his hand out to some object, any object, to put on the counter between them. “It is not the name I was raised under, and I feel no ownership towards it.” 

They paused. Vax took a breath and looked down to see what he had grabbed. “I would like to purchase this, ah, thing.” It was a small figurine, not three inches tall, of a white horse rearing up on its hind legs.

Gilmore packaged the figure prettily, and they exchanged the money and item. “I hope to see you around,” said Gilmore.

“Of course,” said Vax helplessly, taking one last glance.

Vax finally let the breath he had been holding go as he stepped outside. He was in trouble.

Vex rifled through ribbons and fabrics, trying to find just the right item she needed. Her brother had taken off, which was normal for him. She did not mind—she could handle herself just fine, thank you.

The bell above the shop store tinkled as two voices came in behind her.

“So you think I should get her a ribbon? That will do it?” said a smooth man’s voice.

“Sure! She’s always using those. For dresses and hair and things.” The second voice was gruff, deep.

“I trust you, you do know her best…”

Vex stopped what she was doing and turned to see who had come in. This was a situation she simply had to involve herself in.

They were an odd pair. One was short, very short, of a slight build, dressed extravagantly well. His dark hair was pulled from his face neatly, and his chin was shaved smooth.

The other was much his opposite. Tall, well-built, with a thick beard and bald head. His clothes appeared like those of a farmhand.

“Hello!” said Vex, putting on her most charming smile. “May I ask, who is this gift for? I think I could be a great help.”

The shorter man flashed back an even more dashing smile. “A young woman out by herself!” he said, bowing. “People will talk. I am Scanlan Shorthalt. A pleasure.”

“Grog,” said the giant man. “Strongjaw.”

Vex’ahlia curtseyed in turn. “Vex’ahlia Vessar,” she said. “People are already talking.”

“I have heard some tales of the Vessar twins,” said Mr. Shorthalt. “The girl you ask about is Miss Pike Trickfoot. We were discussing what I might bring her as a gift.”

“I thought some ribbons,” said Mr. Strongjaw.

“You know what would be grand!” said Vex, her mind turning. She was aware of certain rules of etiquette, and she took great pleasure in ignoring them. One does not invite others to other people’s balls. “I know that there will be a ball at Greyskull Manor. Buy her something she can wear—not ribbons, maybe a comb—and ask her to wear it there.”

Mr. Shorthalt leaned back on his heels. “Miss Vessar, that is quite good,” he said. “I will have you know that I and my students are providing the entertainment at this ball. I should be quite glad to see her there.”

“So I will see you there! That is wonderful! Will I also see you there, Mr. Strongjaw?”

He pointed at himself in shock. “Me? I’m just Grog. I’m not usually. People don’t invite me to balls.”

“Oh, you must go!” said Vex’ahlia. “It will be great fun. I shall be upset if you do not.”

Grog looked down at Mr. Shorthalt. Scanlan shrugged. “Well, thank you for your help, Miss Vessar.”

Vex watched them leave, chatting about parting ways so Mr. Shorthalt could purchase flowers, before she finally picked out her ribbons, paid for them, and left to meet her brother.

[froggy-beans]

Masterlist (For Irondad, Stucky, and Clintasha)

Fics are posted under the cut :)

Irondad

everyone feels like a liar these days (don’t know how not to feel that way)

Written for the 2019 Irondad Fic Exchange for CinnamonrollStark. Prompt: Tony comes back to life after the Snap and this is their reunion.

----

Then, as Peter dodged bullets and destroyed drones, a flash of red and gold caught his eye. Attention elsewhere, he slammed into a drone and was sent sprawling to the ground. His mind raced a mile a minute.

It’s not real, Peter. It’s not real. It’s not real. You know what Beck is capable of, he’s only trying to distract you.

He could only watch, stunned, as he saw his childhood hero blasting drones out of the sky. Beneath his mask tears began to fall as he told himself it wasn’t real. How could it be?

| 1/1 Chapters | 7,121 Words | No Archive Warnings | Teen and Up Audiences |

link to story

I Remember You 

There was no reason the experiment should have gone wrong. FRIDAY ran countless simulations, each one giving good results. And yet, it does, leaving the Stark family to suffer the consequences.

Prompts: Peter Parker is Tony Stark's biological son and Amnesia

| 1/1 Chapters | 4,755 Words | No Archive Warnings Apply | General Audiences | 

link to story

There Will Come Soft Rains 

Just a little thing I made when I was supposed to be doing something else.

OR:

Tony Stark's funeral as There Will Come Soft Rains by Sara Teasdale (also well known from Ray Bradbury's short story of the same name).

| 1/1 Chapters | 389 Words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | No Archive Warnings Apply |

link to story

Pilot 

Due to popular demand the Gilmore Girls Au has become a tangible thing!

OR

After running away from home with a kid at sixteen, the last thing he wants to do is ask his parents for help. But with his kid's future on the line, he doesn't have much of an option.

| 1/1 Chapters | 3,580 Words |  No Archive Warnings Apply | General Audiences |

link to story

Not One Single Thing 

There isn't anything in the world that Tony Stark wouldn't do to save his kid.

OR:

I was feeling angsty and decided to write this little drabble.

| 1/1 Chapters | 522 Words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | General Audiences |

link to story

I’ll Be Better For You

Tony Stark had no idea what to do when Mary Parker showed up on his doorstep with a baby and a question. He just hopes he'll make the right decision.

Series: Part 1 of Star-verse

| 1/1 Chapters | 2,210 Words | No Archive Warnings Apply | General Audiences | 

link to story

“Can we build a rocket?” 

Winter Break!! Christmas Eve Traditions!! Fluff!!

OR:

The fourth installment of the Stardust series brings to you Christmas fluff (yes I know it's September, no I don't care) and the gift to the world that is Peter Stark.

Series: Part 4 of Stardust | Part 5 of Star-verse

| 1/1 Chapters | 1,234 Words | No Archive Warnings | General Audiences |

link to story

Oh My Darling, Don’t Be Sad (For You Are Made Of Stardust) 

Everyone knows kids are assholes, but at least Peter has his dad to pick up the pieces for him at the end of the day.

OR

This is a continuation of the Stardust series, which is basically my excuse to write cute science inspired fluff scenes between my favourite father-son duo.

Series: Part 3 of Stardust | Part 4 of Star-verse

| 1/1 Chapters | 1,167 Words | No Archive Warnings Apply | General Audiences |

link to story

Star Pictures 

Nightmares plagued Peter Stark even before his dad went missing, but they were a hell of a lot easier to deal with when he was there.

OR

Some late night stargazing because I can't let go of the headcanon that little Peter would love space and Tony would love teaching him about it. Fight me (or please don't, actually, I don't want to go to the emergency room)

Series: Part 1 of Stardust | Part 2 of Star-verse

| 1/1 Chapters | 808 Words | No Archive Warnings | General Audiences |

link to story

The Universe Is Infinite 

Peter Parker's dad has been missing in Afghanistan for three weeks. It's hard to fall asleep when the comfort you need is thousands of miles away, luckily though, Peter manages.

------------------

Or: Peter steals his dad's sweatshirt and I'm a slut for it.

Series: Part 2 of Stardust | Part 3 of Star-verse

| 1/1 Chapters | 753 Words | No Archive Warnings Apply | General Audiences |

link to story

The Shield Literary Society 

This is an Irondad AU based on one of my favourite movies, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. If you havent seen it, you should totally watch it.

----

Tony's life is a mess after the war. No home, no family. No life. Outside of his writing, that is. But when he gets the chance to write a column for the New York Times, his life changes in a way he didn't think was possible anymore.

| 8/8 Chapters | 22,861 Words | No Archive Warnings Apply | Teen and Up Audiences |

link to story

I’m Scared, Mr. Stark

Peter Parker gets caught at school during an active shooter situation . . . He may have an astounding hero complex, but beneath all that, he's a teenager. A scared teenager.

| 1/1 Chapters | 1,384 | No Archive Warnings Apply | Teen and Up Audiences |

link to story

I’m Not A Liar 

This is the fourth installment of the fix it series "You Don't Have To Worry Anymore" and takes place between We Owe It To Ourselves and Maybe It Will Make You Feel Better, Too. I suggest reading the others first before reading this otherwise things won't make sense.

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Peter feels insecure about staying with the Starks. After all, they built a whole new life while he was gone.

Series: Part 3 of You Don't Have to Worry Anymore (on hiatus)

| 1/1 Chapters | 1,339 Words | No Archive Warnings Apply | General Audiences |

link to story

Nightly Visitors 

Just my collection of nightmare fics, so that I have a place to stick them all. Tags will be added as more are posted. Always shows as complete because I don't have a set update schedule on this story and each chapter works as a standalone.

---

Chapter One; Nightlight

Chapter Two: Spanish Class

| 2/2 Chapters | 1,450 Words | No Archive Warnings Apply | General Audiences |

link to story 

You Kept This? 

Peter discovers that Tony keeps the pictures kids send in to him. He's even more surprised when he finds out Tony kept his.

| 1/1 Chapters | 968 Words | No Archive Warnings Apply | General Audiences |

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Maybe It Will Make You Feel Better, Too 

This is the third part of my series "You Don't Have to Worry Anymore", and I definitely suggest reading those pieces first or some of this may not make sense.

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Peter Parker has a nightmare and Morgan Stark shares her secret to feeling better after getting one.

| 1/1 Chapters | 781 Words | No Archive Warnings Apply | General Audiences |

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We Owe It To Ourselves

This is a follow up to the fic "Before? maybe. But now? not so much." so I suggest reading that one first because that is the basis for this fix-it series!

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Tony Stark has a nightmare, but its okay because Peter is there when he needs him.

Series: Part 2 of You Don't Have to Worry Anymore (on hiatus)

| 1/1 Chapters | 1,875 Words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | General Audiences |

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Before? Maybe. No? Not So Much.

Avengers: Endgame made me sad, so I wrote some fix-it. I firmly believe Carol Danvers can wield the infinity gauntlet because she has the power of the tesseract literally in her body and also, she is just amazing.

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Tony Stark doesn't die. That't it. That's what happens. Oh, also, Peter Parker gets a hug from his mentor-- cough-dad-cough.

Series: Part 1 of You Don't Have to Worry Anymore (on hiatus)

| 1/1 Chapters | 1,030 Words | No Archive Warnings Apply | General Audiences |

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Stucky

Days Off 

During the war, the commandos have a break in between HYDRA raids. Bucky forces Steve to take a rest, because everyone knows that Steve Rogers does not know how to take care of himself.

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“Let’s take the day off.” Bucky said. Steve looked up at him with a wistful expression.

“I wish we could, but-“Steve started, but Bucky cut him off.

“No buts. The closest base is another two hundred miles from here and we couldn’t fly out until tomorrow afternoon anyways. So, let’s take a break and relax for once.” Bucky used his best puppy dog eyes, the ones he knew Steve couldn’t resist.

| 1/1 Chapters | 1,262 Words | No Archive Warnings | General Audiences |

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Fight Me? 

Based on the tumblr post; when I was in the hospital I kept telling the nurse (a cute guy) to fight me when he came to check my vitals. I must have seduced him with my terrible lungs, because on my last day he gave me a coffee cup with his number that said "fight me?"

OR: Steve is stuck in the hospital for the seemingly millionth time, but this time he has a cute-- no scratch that, Hot-- nurse.

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I saw this post a really long time ago and wrote this piece, but I'm just now posting it because I found it while cleaning out my computer files! I saw this post and immediately thought, "Oh my gosh, Stucky!!"

| 1/1 Chapters | 1,618 Words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Teen and Up Audiences |

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Clintasha

Pistols and Pirouettes

Natasha Romanov is a student at the Red Room Ballet Academy. One night her and her roommates discover some loose floorboards in the back of their room that leads to a secret tunnel. For three nights Natasha sneaks out of the school through the tunnel, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends.

OR

A Twelve Dancing Princesses AU featuring Natasha Romanov and the Red Room Ballet Academy.

| 1/1 Chapters | 8,751 Words | Rape/Non-Con | Teen and Up Audiences |

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Silent Vows 

Just some happy Clintasha fluff after that farce that was Avengers: Endgame. Or more accurately known as Avengers: EndME

| 1/1 Chapters | 1,285 Words | No Archive Warnings Apply | General Audiences |

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[theherothechampiontheinquisitor]

Unto the Breach

Pairing: Eventual Pepperony, past Tony/May

Rated G

Iron Dad galore

Summary: At the age of 16 Tony Stark became a father. He also gave up his claim as the Stark heir and cut off all ties to that life to raise his son on his own. 15 years later his past finally begins to catch up to him and he has to set aside his pride and open his life back up to his parents in order for his son to have the life he deserves.

OR

A Gilmore Girls AU 

Notes: I know someone recently did something similar but this has been languishing in my drafts and I really loved it and wanted to post it so here it is. Not everything will be accurate to the show and I kinda made May Peter’s mom because I was watching Only You when I wrote this and yeah, they made a cute couple. lol Don’t judge.

Read it on AO3

------------------- The front door of “Pepper’s” burst open, nearly taking the bell off as it rattled and jingled the arrival of the only customer who could make an entrance like that. A cool breeze blew in behind Tony Stark, signaling what would soon be the start of crisp fall mornings, as he stumbled like a zombie towards the front counter, desperately clutching a well worn travel mug in his hands.

“Pepper, light of my life. Pepper, please you have to help me. I need you.”

He could feel Pepper roll her eyes as she moved around behind the counter, sizing him up as he collapsed onto the first empty stool.

“How much have you had today, Tony?” She raised her eyebrow at him and dared him to lie to her.

“Erm, this will be my first of the day…” It was mostly true. Her stare pierced down to his very soul and he squirmed awkwardly, the squeaks of the stool echoing beneath him. “Okay, the first of a normal person’s morning.”

“And how many before that?”

“Three but who’s counting? You know yours is the best anyways.” 

Pepper’s coffee couldn’t be beat. It made every other brew taste like dirty dish water in comparison to the rich, smooth blend that was sitting in a pot just barely out of his reach. It was tatamount to torture to be this close and his cup still so empty.

Pepper’s stern face came back to his vision as she leaned down towards him, hands gripping the counter. “You have a problem Tony.”

He smiled what he hoped was a charming smile. “My problem is this empty mug, Pep.”

She just shook her head in despair and sighed. “Say it with me Tony…”

“I am addicted to coffee,” they both spoke at the same time, Tony’s voice slightly manic over Pepper’s monotone. She did this to him on purpose, always on the days that he needed his fix the worst. Tantamount to torture, damn it. 

“There! I've admitted it. My shame is out there for all to know.”

She gazed into his eyes for a long time, before cracking a real smile, finally satisfied that she had made him suffer enough. Pepper swiftly turned back around and grabbed the coffee pot returning to slowly fill up his cup. 

“And I am sadly your enabler.”

Tony inhaled the steaming brew as his cup filled and immediately took a large gulp, not caring how hot it was. He had developed an immunity to hot coffee by now. The groan it elicited could have put Meg Ryan to shame.

 “You’re a godsend Pep and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Pepper just shook her head and went back to what she was doing before he burst through the door. Over her shoulder she asked, “Where’s Pete?”

“Oh, you know,” he began, sneaking a blueberry muffin from the display in front of him. “He fell behind on my quest for coffee. Decisions had to be made, casualties were endured.”

It was that precise moment the door blew open again and the younger Stark entered looking frazzled. He wiped a bead of sweat from his brow, coming up to the counter and collapsing his books next to Tony. Tony jumped reflexively and nearly spilled the precious brown liquid all over his shirt.

“Man, for someone with short legs I’ll never get over how fast you can travel when properly motivated!” he exclaimed and Tony just shrugged, picking a couple of pieces from the muffin and sliding the rest down to Peter.

“Hey, we have the same genes so I would watch it if I were you.”

“Yeah, but I at least have the benefit of a few more years of growing to do.”

Tony frowned and nudged Peter’s shoulder. He took another sip of coffee as he evaluated the boy. “You’re being a terror this morning, let me help you out. Coffee?”

Peter nodded desperately. “Coffee.” 

Tony waved Pepper over, taking Peter’s Spiderman mug, a gag gift from last christmas, and holding it out beggingly before him. He jutted his bottom lip out and giving the red head what he hoped was his most pitiful look.

“Please ma’am, may I have some more?”

“Don't go on tour anytime soon, your Oliver Twist is terrible,” she deadpanned.

“So, I’ve heard. Please, it’s for Pete. He’s a growing boy.”

"You know coffee actually stunts your growth right?"

"Lies and slander, probably made up by tea drinkers." Tony shuddered in his seat for dramatic effect.

Pepper eyed him up and down. "Sure about that one? You seem to be missing a few inches."

Tony scoffed. "C'mon Pep, stop browbeating me and do it for the boy."

Pepper looked between the pair and Peter had joined Tony in giving his best wounded puppy look. The pair made a striking picture, their features mirroring the other so perfectly, one would be hard pressed to deny their relation. Looking at Peter especially though, Pepper felt that same protective urge stir inside her that she had when he was still just a child, those big doe eyes pleading for another sweet. She relented, as she always did, filling his mug to the top. 

Tony motioned to his now empty mug with a grin but she just gave him a pointed stare and put the pot back.

“Sorry, no refills to coffee moochers.”

“Aw, Pep don’t be like that. Just put it on my tab.”

“You don’t have a tab, Tony.”

“Well, I should.”

“Forget about it, you’re lucky you got what you did. I can’t enable you any further this morning.”

“This is oppression!”

Peter watched the exchange with a smile. It was old hat by now, the start of a thousand mornings for the Stark men. 

“Thank you, Ms. Potts!” he called out to her and took a large drink from his own mug, Tony looking on enviously.  Peter just ignored him and whipped out his cell phone, tapping a few buttons and bringing up a text thread.  

“So, check it out, I was texting Ned this morning and he said that the acceptance packets for Midtown were supposed to be sent out this week. We could be getting them as soon as friday! And I was looking at the uniforms online again and they’re really not that bad. I mean I can deal with the coats and ties for a bit if it means getting to take robotics…”

He eagerly shoved the phone into Tony’s face, scrolling through the stock photos of the school uniforms that they had already perused through a million times at home. His excitement was contagious and Tony smiled along with him and listened as he described the different classes that he was hoping to take. 

They had applied for the late fall term having completely missed the early fall registration deadline because Tony had stayed up all night on an inventing bender and passed out around six am, totally blowing through the morning alarm. Peter was a notorious heavy sleeper too, so neither stirred until well after the window for registration had closed. Tony felt awful but Peter had taken it all in stride.

The phone suddenly started buzzing in Peter’s hand, the Imperial March from Star Wars blaring across the small cafe making customers heads pop up and search out the cause of the disruption. Peter panicked and immediately declined the call from Ned, shooting him a quick text that he’d call him later, but it was too late and Pepper had already marched her way over to where he sat and eyed the phone he hastily tried to pocket.

“Peter, c’mon. Do you see the sign?” she asked turning around and pointing to the sign that boldly stated the cell phone free zone. 

“Oh, I know, sorry Ms. Potts! I was showing him the uniforms for Midtown and then Ned called, but I told him I’d call him back after I leave,” he started rambling nervously but Pepper cut him off with a wave as Tony snickered in the background.

“Don’t worry about it, just remember for next time.”

“Oh, of course,” he smiled so earnestly it was hard to even feign annoyance.

“So, Midtown,” Pepper began, settling back between the pair, pretending to wipe down the already clean countertops. “Did you get in finally?”

“We don’t know yet. Should be finding out this week. If it’s a small envelope we’re doomed, but a big envelope and you’ll be looking at Midtown class of 2020.”

“Well, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you,” she smiled and squeezed his hand affectionately. “You make it and I’ll make you that pie you always harass me to make out of season.”

Tony blanched. Pepper didn’t make concessions to anyone, even as doe eyed and innocent as Pete. “Um, okay, how come he gets the special treatment?”

“He’s more polite than you.”

“I resent that remark.”

“I can’t help the truth,” she shrugged and and headed to the other end of the bar to wait on a pair of blondes that walked in, looking very lost and out of place. Passerbys Tony, would wager.

“She’s in love with me,” he said with a matter of fact nod. Peter rolled his eyes so hard Tony worried they’d get stuck that way.

“I can tell by the way you both verbally assault each other every morning.” 

“It’s just a matter of time, I’m telling you. She can’t resist the Stark charm forever.”

“Is that what that was?”

“Hey, don’t you have a bus to catch?”

“Nah, I have a few minutes. I like to watch Ms. Potts dance circles around you.”

“And just for that one you have lost coffee privileges,” he said and reached over to snatch up Peter’s mug before he could even protest. Tony threw it back in one drink as Peter unsuccessfully tried to get it back.

“You’re getting me more, that’s not right stealing a man’s coffee like that.” Peter folded his arms across his chest and glared.

“Please, you’re still a boy, and no refills remember?”

“That’s only for you.”

Tony slid the mug over to bump against Peter’s school books. “Then I guess you should start working Pepper now for that next fix.”

Peter groaned and playfully shoved Tony as he stood up and made his way to beg for more lifeblood. 

Tony watched the boy go and felt the same immense pride and happiness swell in his chest that he always did when looking at Peter for too long. The kid was brilliant, maybe even more so than he was, only he was going to make something more of himself than a failed inventor moonlighting as an inn manager. He couldn’t dwell too hard on his own failings though. For the most part he was exactly where he wanted to be and it was sure as hell a much better enviornment for Peter to grow up in than that empty and foreboding Stark mansion. 

Though the money of that life would definitely have been a huge help. By Tony’s estimation it would take around $75,000 altogether to put Peter through Midtown and he had no idea where he was going to come up with that kind of dough. They had enough money put back to be comfortable where they were but it wouldn’t take long for it to be bled dry. He wouldn’t let Peter worry about that though. Tony would stand out on a corner selling himself if it meant the kid got the education that he wanted. Okay, so maybe it wouldn’t come to that particular extreme, but there was nothing that he wouldn’t do to ensure Peter’s continued happiness. 

A shrill laugh filled the air and brought Tony out of his daze. Peter still hadn’t returned and he looked around the small room searching for his curly bedhead. He spotted him at the end of the bar leaning back awkwardly, one of the leggy blondes from earlier practically sandwiching him against the counter. She had been the source of the laugh. Tony evaluated the scene and could tell that Peter was clearly uncomfortable as the woman looked at him like he was prey. 

Pepper shot concerned glances every couple of seconds but she was busy helping another customer, unable to come to his rescue. 

Tony hopped down from the stool and shoved his hands into his jean pockets as he approached.

“...cabin in the woods for the weekend. I’d really love it if you could join us too,” Tony caught the blonde saying in a suggestive tone as he approached.

Peter laughed nervously and rubbed his neck with the hand that wasn’t holding the newly refilled coffee.

“Is everything okay over here, Pete?” 

Peter’s eyes shot to Tony’s in relief and he scooted towards him subconsciously. The blonde turned towards Tony too at first with a look of disgust and annoyance at having her conversation interrupted but then she raked her eyes across Tony’s form appreciatively and her grin from before grew more predatory if it were possible.

“Yeah, I was just getting coffee from Ms. Potts when I was…”

“Accosted?” Tony supplied helpfully.

The blonde tsked. “Hi, I’m Christine.”

“Tony,” he said with a nod.

“Tony. I was just discussing with your little brother here, that I was just passing through on my way to a weekend retreat with a friend. I think it’d be really nice if you guys could join us. We’ll go hiking, make a campfire, maybe some skinny dipping at the lake,” she raised her brow suggestively and Peter’s face turned an impressive shade of beet red.

Tony’s mind hadn’t even got to processing that part of the conversation yet.

“Brother?” he asked and looked over to Peter, holding the laughter at bay. The thought seemingly finally permeated his understanding as well because then Peter was laughing and Tony was right there with him.

Christine stared at the duo blankly as they tried to get the laughter under control.

“She thinks…” Tony began.

“That me and you…” Peter continued.

“This always happens.”

The laughter finally stopped and they both straightened up, Tony turning to Christine and schooling his features back to what Peter called his serious face.

“Peter is not my brother.”

“He’s not?” Christine asked in confusion. She looked the duo over once more noting the similarities in eyes and facial structure. 

“Peter is my son.”

“Your son?” she gaped.

“According to the birth certificate,” Peter added, his confidence and joking manner returning at the shift in power of the situation.

Christine tried to recover from her error and squared her shoulders. “Well, the offer is still open. Father and son changes things a little but I do have a friend,” she motioned to a brunette that was sitting at a table glued to her cell phone an inch away from her face.

“Slow down, cougar town don’t let his height deceive you. Peter is 15 years old. You’ve been sexually harassing a minor for the last ten minutes.”

Christine’s eyes practically bulged from her skull and she backed away slowly, bumping into the table behind her. “I am so sorry, you look...and he looked…” she stuttered and snapped in front of her friends face a few times. “Jillian we need to leave.”

Tony had never seen such a hasty retreat in his thirty one years of life. He and Pete started laughing again and headed back to their original seats, Peter hastily grabbing his books from the counter and shoving them into his backpack.

“Well, that was fun,” he remarked and then threw an arm around Tony’s neck and giving him a quick squeeze. “Love ya, Dad. Star Wars marathon tonight?” Peter asked backing up towards the door with finger pointed at him. “You promised.”

“Original trilogy only,” Tony replied firmly.

“You’re such a snob.” Another eyeroll. Tony didn’t know how he didn’t get dizzy. “Take out from Joe’s and that new chinese restaurant?”

“Done.”

Peter smiled again and finally satisfied darted out the door and to the bus stop. Tony watched him run down the street until he couldn’t see him anymore, a grin still plastered to his face.The sound of coffee filling his empty mug caused Tony to whip around in wonder.

“I thought there were no refills?”

He folded his arms across his chest as Pepper just shrugged in response.

“Consider it a thank you.”

“For what?”

Pepper smiled sweetly and Tony got that fluttery feeling in his chest that always occurred when Pepper Potts smiled at him. He wanted to take a picture and frame it forever. She glanced to the table that Christine and her friend had vacated and then back to Tony and winked.

“For taking out the trash.”

He smiled back and took a long drink of the perfectly blended coffee. He didn’t care what jokes Peter made. That Stark charm was definitely wearing her down. Now if only they were close enough to ask her for a boatload of money to put his son through the school of his choice.

Tony did have other options.

He could call...them.

He would almost rather die though. Almost. They could definitely afford it and would almost certainly be thrilled to help their only grandson, but he didn't want to let them get their hooks in Peter and by extension himself. He spent so many years distancing himself from that life and proving that he didn't need them and their money. To come crawling back even for such a noble cause was painful. And who knows. Maybe Peter wouldn't even get in.

Shit. Who was he kidding? Peter was almost guaranteed to be admitted. He was his father's son after all.

Still. He could put off Howard and Maria a little longer.

Pulling out his phone he scrolled through his contacts. He had friends but none that he could impose upon like that.

There was one more person though. He scrolled down to the M's and his finger hovered over May's number. He and May had always retained a great friendship. They chatted often enough and she always made time to ask about and talk to Peter. If anyone would help him and not make him feel completely humiliated in the process it was May Parker. This was technically 50% of her responsibility after all.

She was Peter's mother.

[kastleaesthetic]

Kastle AU (and Amy)- One Big and Happy Family.

Frank was great with Amy though, she would often find the two of them goofing off. Sometimes it’d be at the kitchen table, Amy was supposed to be doing her homework, but Frank would come along with a deck of cards and a grin on his face. “Let’s go, time for a break.” He would say. “I’ve mastered it, I can beat you at your own game. Lets go, three card monte.” It would usually end with Frank being a sore loser and Amy with a smug look on her face. Other times it’d be in the garage where Frank had set up a punching bag, that would rarely get used. Instead they insisted on practicing fighting with each other. Karen would often hear them and then open up the door with an eyebrow raised and give them a sigh. “Amy, just- don’t aim for his nose, alright? I don’t think it can handle another break.” The teenager and the grown man would give her thumbs up and a wave respectively and continue on.

Karen really had no idea what she was doing, she thought she was way over her head but then a window opens one saturday morning as she is doing her makeup. Amy knocks on the door frame of the bathroom. “Hey Karen.” Karen turns to look at her, capping her mascara as the teen takes a deep breath. “Are you busy today? Cause if you are, I mean, it’s fine- but I was wondering if you’d take me dress shopping? There is this dance and believe or not, some guy asked me and I wanna go, and I know it’s cheesy and corny, but-”

She smiles at Amy and nods her head. “Alright, let’s go get you a dress. I mean, gives us a solid excuse to check out that store in the mall, right?”

Amy smiles brightly. “Cool, then maybe we could hit up the food court?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

The stores in mall are nothing like the stores in the city. There was your typical department stores, like JcPenny and Macys, and of course there was the stores that the teenagers flocked to, like Hollister and Abercrombie. “So, what’s this guy like? The one that asked you to the dance?” Karen asks as they walk towards the small boutique.

“He’s nice.” Amy answers with a shrug. “JROTC, baseball player, honor society.” She laughs. “I have no idea what he sees in me.” she looks down at her hands. “His ex is one of those super popular girls, I am pretty sure she wants to claw my eyes out.”

Karen laughs as they enter the store. “Well he sounds like a catch and who knows, maybe Frank will even like him. I know he’s been nervous about this whole dance thing, he’s never had to deal with a teenage girl and her first date.” As soon as they walk through the entrance they are met head on by a sales lady.

“So, how can I help you two ladies? School dance I suppose?” She asks and Karen and Amy nod. “Well, so nice of your big sister to take you out shopping for a dress.”

“Actually, she’s my daughter.” Karen cuts in, running a soothing hand down Amy’s braid. “I know, I don’t look old enough.” She says, looking at the woman’s shocked face. “But we were just kids ourselves so-”

“Oh!” The woman cuts in. “You’re the folks that moved into the Pearson’s old place. You’re boyfriend, he’s helping build the new church. My brother’s working the job too! Small world this is, well should I say small town.”

“Actually husband,” Amy suddenly says, sticking the the story they were using. “He didn’t know about me, was serving overseas. My mom and I were the real life Gilmore Girls, until my dad came back. He got on one knee, it was pretty romantic.”

“It was life changing, that is for sure” Karen smiles softly. “But we are really here for her, so, we were thinking something flashy, but not too flashy.”

“And nothing to puffy, we don’t want puffy.” Amy explains, Karen nodding along.

They end up with a nice selection of dresses, the pink options get nixed almost too quickly, as well as the yellow ones. The red ones flush her out and there was no way in hell she was going near a white dress. Though finally, Amy finds navy blue dress with a gold bodice and she looks stunning in it. Karen and Amy both agree on the dress. They walk out of the shop, the dress bag slung over Amy’s shoulder and Karen speaks. “You know, Frank’s going to want to meet this guy.” She tells Amy, who in return gives her a horrified look. “I mean, he can’t honk and expect you to rush out to his car. We’re going to need for him to come in so we can get pictures-” Karen fakes an exasperated sigh and smirks. “Oh I am going to love embarrassing you.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Oh I will.”

Amy realizes later that there is a lot she doesn’t know about Karen Page.

Like the fact the the woman is a total hellraiser, she knows that you have to be to deal with Frank Castle. Her second week at school, Amy manages to get into a fight at school. Some of the girls really didn’t like her and they made a point of tormenting her, they took to locking her in a utility closet, stealing her clothes during gym class and the straw that broke the camel's back was when they poured rotten milk on her. Amy had lost it, stood up and launched herself at the ringleader, she slammed the girl through the cafeteria doors and into the snowy courtyard. Frank’s self defense classes helped as she put the girl into a tight hold and pressed her already bleeding face into the cold snow. The gym teachers pulled them apart, the ring leader calling Amy a psycho and Amy spat choice words at the girl.

Of course the school tried to pin it on Amy. She sat outside the principal's office as Frank tried to speak for her. It was Karen though that came to save the day, Amy heard the clack of her heels against the laminate floor. Karen stopped in front of Amy, gave her a smirk as she caught sight of the other girl and gave her a wink before walking right into the principal's office. Amy had never heard Karen raise her voice as fiercely as she did in that office.

After the fact, Frank had a smirk as he walked out of the office first, followed by Karen. He chuckled, rubbed her back. “Alright, Mama Bear.” He laughed as the ringleader’s parents shuffled out of the office and towards their daughter. “Their gonna give you a detention, but that princess over there, she has a saturday detention and she has to write you an apology letter.”

Amy thanks Karen, the older woman wrapping an arm around her. “Just cool it with the right hook, alright?”

But she finds out more about Karen, about her life before Frank. The death of her mother and then Karen’s history after high school, the terrible boyfriend, the death of her brother and then the disownment by her dad. Amy learns about Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson, and about mess Karen got into in New York. She understands why Frank has a thing for her.

Karen is the mom that Amy had craved for as a child and the day of the dance, when Karen is concentrating on her hair, Amy sort of blurts it out. “Damn, if I had you and Frank from the start, I wouldn’t be such a fuck up.” Karen’s look from the mirror makes her head drop, but the comforting hand on her shoulder makes her look back up. Karen puts down the curling iron and smiles.

“Hey, don’t you dare talk about yourself like that.” Karen tells her in a soothing voice. “The three of us? We fit together because of what we’ve been through and what we’ve overcame.” She pauses. “We are a family now and honestly, this is the happiest I’ve been in such a long time.” Karen smiles warmly before adding a few more bobby pins and the sighs happily. “All finished. You look stunning.”

This boy, Alex picks Amy up. Frank isn’t that keen about the whole date idea and grills the kid to the nine. The threat of: ‘You hurt her? and I hurt you, real bad. You got me? And if you are stupid enough to try anything that she doesn’t want? Well, you won’t like the outcome.” He point to Amy, “11:00 at the latest.”

“C’mon, dad,” Amy comes back. “1:00.”

“11:05.”

“Mom!”

Karen folds her arms. “How’s 12:30 work for everyone, I think we can agree to that?” Frank folds and Amy beams. “Just have fun, be safe and if anything happens, just call us.”

Frank wraps an arm around Karen’s waist as they watch her get into this boy’s car and drive off. “You know, you’re amazing with her.” Frank tells her and Karen laughs. “No seriously, the kid respects you and trust me, takes a lot for her to respect someone.”

Karen looks up at him, beams and kisses his cheek. “Well, I’m glad that I came along with you guys. This is honestly the best life I could ask for.”

[gluupor]

I Always Wanted a Real Home

This takes place in the universe I created in Where You Lead, my Gilmore Girls AU, featuring kid!Kevin.

Andrew shifted the bags he was carrying to one hand so he could knock. There was an immediate reaction: thumping feet running in his direction, Kevin’s childish voice yelling, “I’ll get it!”, and Neil’s response from farther in the apartment, his words undecipherable. The footsteps came to a halt on the other side of the door and the deadbolt clicked open.

“Kevin,” said Andrew loudly enough to be heard through the door. “Are you about to open the door without asking who’s knocking?”

There was a long, silent pause. “Who’s there?” Kevin finally asked.

“It’s Andrew.”

The door swung open, revealing a pout on Kevin’s five-year-old face. “I knew it was you; Dad told me you were coming.” His eyes caught on the bags in Andrew’s hands. “Did you bring me a present?”

Andrew handed over one of the bags. “Go put these under the tree,” he instructed as he stepped inside the tiny apartment. He removed his boots and coat and headed to the kitchen with his other bags.

Neil was standing in front of the stove, frowning at a piece of fairly mangled packaging.

“Are you cooking?” asked Andrew, letting his extreme skepticism bleed into his tone.

“Cookies,” said Neil, brandishing the packaging. “From a tube. I think I can manage.”

“Can you?”

“I may have ripped the bit that told me what temperature the oven’s supposed to be but 450 should be fine, right?”

“If you want charcoal briquettes,” Andrew sighed and reached over, adjusting the oven temperature to something much more reasonable. Neil leaned against him and smiled, causing a slight ache in Andrew’s chest.

“Merry Christmas,” Neil said. “Thank you for coming.”

Andrew had received his usual invitations to spend the day with Bee or with Aaron but he’d declined in favour of spending it with the Jostens. He’d come to realize that there was nowhere he’d rather be, something which worried him. He hadn’t quite decided what to do about his attraction and attachment to Neil.

“DAD! PRESENTS!” shouted Kevin.

“He's excited,” commented Andrew, unpacking his groceries into the almost-barren fridge.

“He was awake at 2,” said Neil, pouring out two mugs of coffee from his coffee maker (the only high quality appliance in the kitchen).

“Was he worried you’d disappeared again?” asked Andrew in a low voice. Kevin didn’t have any concrete memories of his mother anymore but he did carry the lasting impression that she’d left in the middle of the night and never returned. He had the habit of getting up to check that Neil hadn’t abandoned him.

“No, he just couldn’t sleep from excitement. I eventually had to threaten to take away his presents to get him to stay in bed until a reasonable hour.”

Kevin ran into the kitchen. “You said we could open presents when Andrew got here,” he said impatiently. He grabbed Andrew’s hand and started ineffectually pulling him. “Come see the tree! I decorated it myself.”

“I see that,” replied Andrew. The tree was small, but real, probably brought over by Boyd or Reynolds. All the ornaments were clustered at the front and were about three and half feet off the ground - directly level with Kevin’s eye-line.

“Look at my presents!” said Kevin, as Andrew settled on the couch. Neil perched beside him and handed over one of the mugs of coffee. “I’ve got one from you and one from Matt and one from Dan and one from Allison and one from Wymack and one from Miss Renee and one from Laila and one from Abby-”

“Breathe, bud,” said Neil.

“-and THREE from Santa and zero from Dad.”

“Oops,” said Neil. “That’s supposed to be two from Santa and one from me.”

“Santa’s wrapping ability seems to be on par with yours,” said Andrew, indicated the three messily wrapped parcels that stood out from all the neat folds and tight corners of the other presents.

“We collaborated,” said Neil.

“Can I open them now? Please, dad? Pllllllease?” whined Kevin.

Andrew flinched minutely. The word ‘please’ still held terrible connotations for him - especially when spoken in a child’s voice - but Kevin whined enough that he was becoming desensitized to hearing it.

“Open the one from Allison,” said Neil. “I don’t trust the smile she gave me when she brought it over.” He turned to Andrew. “The last time she smiled at me like that she gave Kevin cymbals.”

Allison’s gift turned out to be a collection of children’s DVDs full of colourful characters and songs that were probably specifically written to appeal to kids and to torture their parents.

“I don’t know what I did to make her hate me,” said Neil despondently.

“She doesn’t hate you,” said Kevin, looking concerned. “She likes you. She gives you hugs and pats your head and calls you kitten.”

“I’m aware,” said Neil dryly.

Kevin still looked troubled. “Once, she told Miss Renee that she’d do you if you weren’t so obivious. What’s that mean?”

Neil groaned.

“Dad? What’s obivious?”

“It means your dad doesn’t always see what’s right in front of him,” provided Andrew.

Kevin’s face cleared. “Like when he can’t find his shoes?”

“Exactly like that,” said Andrew. “Open another present.”

Kevin was sufficiently diverted by opening the rest of his presents.

“He’s so spoiled,” said Neil fondly, picking up the discarded wrapping paper once Kevin had disappeared into his room to organize his new toys. Not play with. Organize. Andrew was convinced that this was abnormal child behaviour but he appreciated it since it decreased the likelihood of him stepping on a Lego brick.

“You’re the one who decided to settle in a town full of busybodies,” said Andrew.

“Can you believe it’s been three years?”

Andrew couldn’t. His life had changed so much since Neil, looking like a zombie, had carried a screaming toddler into his diner on a late November evening. At first he’d told himself that he was helping out and keeping a close eye on him for Kevin’s sake - he was never going to allow a child to be harmed like he’d been if he could prevent it. He hadn’t needed Bee, his therapist, to point out that a lot of his initial interest was due to his own unresolved childhood issues: how many times had he wished that someone would steal him away and keep him safe?

It had taken him some time before he’d realized the danger he was in. One morning he’d handed Neil his morning coffee and Neil had given him a genuine smile and looked at him as if he were the only person on the planet that had any worth. Then Neil had taken a sip of the coffee and emitted a groan that was practically pornographic, sending a bolt of desire through Andrew’s lower belly.

Unfortunately it hadn’t taken him long to ascertain that Neil didn’t return his interest. Neil didn’t return anyone’s interest, actually, which was lucky as Andrew didn’t have to watch him date someone else. Neil was busy with his job and overwhelmed caring for Kevin and Andrew didn’t think that dating was currently in the cards for him, even if he had showed any inclination of wanting to.

Bee had told him that he had three choices.

One, he could ask Neil if he were interested in starting a romantic relationship. Andrew vetoed that; he had no desire to pressure Neil into something he may feel obligated to do because of how much he relied on Andrew.

Two, he could distance himself from Neil (and, by necessity, Kevin) and try to move on with someone else. That option made Andrew’s stomach hurt, especially since he wouldn’t be able to explain to Neil why his behaviour had suddenly changed.

Or three, he could accept that his relationship with Neil may never be exactly what he wanted but it was important and fulfilling all the same.

Andrew started on dinner fairly early. He was roasting a chicken as he wasn’t about to make an entire turkey for the three of them. For the last two years Neil had attended the dinner that Wymack provided at the Foxhole Inn for staff and guests and townspeople who had nowhere else to go, but Andrew had offered to cook this year and Neil had gladly accepted.

Kevin shuffled into the kitchen, blinking sleepily. His adrenaline had clearly worn off and his lack of sleep was catching up with him. Still, he clutched one of the DVDs from Allison and held it wordlessly out to Neil, who was keeping Andrew company and occasionally helping as Andrew prepared their meal.

“Are you sure you don’t want a nap?” asked Neil.

“Naps are for babies,” said Kevin disdainfully.

“I nap all the time,” said Neil. “I love naps.”

“For babies and disasters,” corrected Kevin.

Andrew felt his lips twitch as he put the chicken in the oven. Neil was glaring at him when he straightened.

“That is completely your fault,” he accused.

“I only speak the truth,” said Andrew.

Neil rolled his eyes and turned back to Kevin. “You go put that in the DVD player and we’ll meet you there.”

Andrew brewed another pot of coffee while Neil gathered blankets and they settled into a warm nest on the couch. Kevin climbed up beside Andrew and cuddled against him, already losing his fight with sleep. His blinks became longer and slower as the movie started.

Neil was leaning heavily on Andrew’s other side, having fallen asleep almost as soon as he’d sat down. He had the enviable ability to instantly drop off to sleep almost anywhere. Andrew knew that he must be exhausted as he’d been picking up extra shifts at the inn so he could afford to take the next week off to spend time with Kevin. He snuffled and started drooling on Andrew’s shirt.

Andrew watched the inane movie alone as Neil and Kevin slept, already knowing that at least one of the songs was going to be stuck in his head forever. He’d be humming it for weeks.

This is enough, he realized with sudden clarity. He ran a hand through Neil’s hair and wrapped his other arm around Kevin, holding him more securely as the boy snuggled into his side. This is more than enough.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

hey my gorgeous peeps! I’ve gone through pretty much all of your page and have found some amazing fics! I’m just looking for some really good, slow build/pining sterek fics that are under 80k. I’m really into standinginanicedress’ fics just to give you an idea of what I like if that’ll help to narrow it down. only mature and explicit ratings please thank you so much!!

I found a few for you, @fvckyourfandoms . -Letta

Inevitable You by Red_City

(1/1 | 22,261 | Mature)

“I’m Derek’s mate,” Stiles gets out, breathing hard. There is silence in the room.

As he looks around, he realizes that everyone else knew.

Living With Lycanthropy by WhoNatural

(1/1 | 44,095 | Explicit)

AKA: The Sterek Rival Bakeries AU

Wherein they both own bakeries, Stiles tries not to run his grandmother’s legacy into the ground, Laura wants to be a better alpha, and Derek can’t seem to get Stiles’ attention the regular way - so naturally, he accidentally initiates a prank war.

(Or, if Teen Wolf was more like Gilmore Girls, with everyone far too invested in whether the Hale boy and the Sheriff’s kid will work it out, and Laura Hale wrote a handbook for alpha werewolves.)

The Spark Within by Halevetica

(35/35 | 44,147 | Mature)

Deaton had always suspected a spark was buried deep within Stiles. When he proves it right he tells the alpha, Derek. Derek is in need of an emissary and Stiles would be perfect. But Stiles fights the spark within. He doesn’t want to be tied to Derek forever, he hates the guy. Derek fights for Stiles but will Stiles fight for Derek?

You’re the Riddle of the Century by stayingputwouldbeablunder

(2/2 | 45,700 | Mature)

“Okay,” Stiles says, drawing out the y. “Well, I’ve gotta go, Derek. Plenty more clueless individuals like yourself waiting to learn how to operate the majestic electronic device you hold in your hands.”

“I’m not holding it.” Derek doesn’t know why he does it but he waggles his fingers in front of the camera; the tablet is propped up against his legs. “See?”

Stiles rolls his eyes, smiling. “Goodbye, Derek. And thanks for calling Amazon today. Catch you on the flip side.”

“Bye, Stiles.”

Oh shit.

In which Stiles is a tech advisor for Amazon and Derek really loveshates his Kindle.

The Quickest Way to a Man’s Heart (is Through His Bottomless Pit) by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

(1/1 | 54,167 | Explicit)

Pulling open his apartment door, he let out an involuntary shout when something was quite literally thrust into his chest hard enough to have him almost tip backwards. He managed to right himself while keeping hold of what had been shoved at him and looked up in time to see his neighbour striding back towards his apartment.

“You’re going to fucking kill yourself.”

His door slammed.

Stiles blinked at the other man’s door, utterly confused, and looked down at what he was holding.

It was a plastic bag, full of what felt like tupperware, which made no sense to Stiles because when had his neighbour broken into his house to steal his tupperware?

Make Me Skin & Bones (Where The Hell Have You Been) by Kandakicksass

(44/44 | 54,865 | Mature)

Stiles takes the darkness from the Nemeton a lot harder than Scott and Allison do. Derek comes back after he goes catatonic.

Thank You For This Dance by matildajones for Emela

(26/26 | 62,463 | Mature)

Derek picks up another glass of champagne, and that’s when he sees him. A man stands at the edge of the room, chewing his lip and staring at the dance floor longingly. Every person walks past him. Derek must have done it a hundred times this evening. –Derek is not one for dancing, but at a ball he meets Stiles, an orphan, and he becomes quickly attached. He does not care what other people think about Stiles’ wealth and status, but it’s a lot harder for Stiles to ignore the comments that have haunted him his whole life.

It’s even harder to convince Stiles that Derek’s feelings are genuine.

Seeing Wolves (Where There Are No Wolves) by MellytheHun

(16/16 | 71,305 | Explicit)

Or otherwise known as “Derek Goes to the Doctor,” wherein Derek gets the therapy he so desperately needs and gets healthy. The clearer his head gets, the more room it seems to have for Stiles.

All Hale the King by Halevetica

(53/53 | 71,541 | Mature)

It’s been three months since Derek left Beacon Hills. He didn’t say bye to anyone. He left his pack without an alpha. Then all of a sudden he’s back, but he seems out of character. Stiles automatically assumes he’s been cursed, that is until he finds out that he isn’t Derek at all, but his twin brother, Gage. Gage is nothing like his brother and he falls in with the pack perfectly and he’s an alpha. Stiles and Gage become good friends. Then one day, Derek does come back and Gage steps down as alpha. Stiles is pissed. He and Derek never got along. Derek was rude, harsh, snappy, bossy, forceful, all the things you could hate in a guy. Now he’s forced to answer to Derek, who thinks he’s king. Stiles is sick of it and decides it’s time Derek was put in check.

First Rule: Do No Harm by LandingStrutts

(23/23 | 79,654 | Mature)

While they are both eye fucking each other, Dereks view of focus is replaced by someone else rushing toward him. It is Tom and he has a shitty evil grin on his face. “Derek. Where the hell you been man? You’re twenty minutes late. It’s freezing out here and we are waiting for someone to open up the building.” You would never have believed this is who sent a text with an exploding kitten. 

[missgoalie75]

gilmore girls | chilton au | jess + luke

prompt: anon prompted: missing scene between jess and luke after jess is kicked out of hartford. word count: ~1,900 note: chilton au is this fic, reblog link here, so please read that first before you read this. also sorry anon this took a while to happen - i hope it’s worth the wait!

Jess winces when he walks to Luke's Diner as he brings a thumb to his jawline, muttering a fuck under his breath before reaching up above the doorway to grab the key to let himself inside Luke's Diner.

Once he grabs it, he pauses. He doesn't do this. He usually leaves, wanders, keeps away until enough time has passed and then he comes back.

Except that fucking panic he felt when he walked down black streets, utterly silent save for the cicadas, made it obvious that he can't do that – not in suburbia. He was able to slip under the radar and not be noticed by ACS, but here in Connecticut, at a school where demerits are handed for creased pants, he can't risk testing mandated reporters.

He finally lets himself in, cringing when the bells ring overhead. He finally hears Rory driving away and he smiles a little; of course she wanted to wait until he was safely inside.

He quietly locks the door again and his stomach grumbles when he first smells remnants of fries. Maybe he can make himself a sandwich or something before he goes upstairs and –

A light turns on behind the curtain. "Hello?" Luke demands, his steps loud and uncoordinated as he goes down the stairs.

Jess clenches his jaw. "It's me," he says.

Luke stumbles into the diner and squints. He has a bat in his hand.

"Really?" Jess questions, staring at the bat.

"What are you doing here? Is something wrong?" Luke asks, turning on the light.

They both wince at the sudden brightness.

He wants to say nothing, but once Luke's eyes properly work, they're bulging out of their sockets when he notices the mark on Jess' face.

"Where'd you get that?" Luke demands, striding over. His hand is rough but gentle when he tilts Jess' head to get a better look at it. "If it's that guy, I swear to God –"

Jess removes himself from Luke's hold. "Can we go upstairs and talk about this?" he asks, stopping him short.

Even though the blinds are down, he still feels too exposed. He stuffs his hands into his pockets.

Luke inhales sharply. "Yeah, okay, come on."

Luke leads him up the stairs and Jess takes care to shut the lights behind him. Once they're inside the apartment and Jess drops his duffel, Luke turns around and asks again: "Did he do this?"

"No."

Luke exhales in relief.

Jess doesn't know why – maybe it's the heat or exhaustion or shock – but he has to swallow over a lump in his throat before he can speak. "It was Liz."

There's always been a lingering bitterness when it came to Luke – sending money, enabling his crazy sister and her fucking bad habits. But seeing him go through the five stages of grief in the span of a second made him realize that Luke really fucking thought his sister was better than she is.

Poor, naïve bastard.

"It was her ring," he explains emotionlessly.

He looks off to the side when he sees tears in Luke's eyes, giving him a moment.

"I have Arnica, but I don't want to irritate the cut," Luke says in a rough voice. He clears his throat.

"It's fine. I've had worse."

Luke holds up a hand. "I don't need to hear that."

Jess breathes. "You didn't hear a lot of things, Luke," he says, not unkindly.

"I'm sorry," Luke says and Jesus Christ, his voice broke.

Jess exhales. "Can I crash here? At least for tonight –"

"You're staying here indefinitely, end of discussion," Luke takes over him, looking around the apartment in thought. "Sheets…I may have them…" he mutters.

"I don't need indefinitely."

"If you think you're living with your mom after tonight you're delusional. Go use the bathroom – shower – I'll get you set up with a bed."

"I can sleep on the couch."

"No, you'll sleep on some sort of mattress. Go shower."

Jess furrows his brow. "Are you telling me I stink or something?"

"Showering will help make you feel better."

Jess tries not to laugh. "Aw."

"Shut up." Pause. "Did you eat? I can make you something."

"I'm fine."

"I'll make you something."

Jess rolls his eyes, but picks up his duffel and heads toward the bathroom. He didn't bring much with him – a handful of shirts, two pairs of pants, some boxers, his favorite books and CDs, some hair gel, and a pack of cigarettes. He does have a bottle of shampoo in the bathroom here because of an incident over the summer involving misplaced flour; no good deed goes unpunished, indeed.

He turns on the shower and avoids looking in the mirror as he undresses. He has a feeling that Luke is probably doing other things besides preparing the apartment for him, like calling Liz, so he takes his time. He tries to avoid thinking about what's going to happen next, like Luke says he'll house him, but will he actually? And if not, can he really do the next two years in that fucking mansion? And what if he does live in Stars Hollow – what about Chilton? Will his dick of a step-father really shell out the money for Chilton after tonight? And if that's the case, then so what? Why does Jess give a shit about Chilton when he hates the fucking uniforms and the school work is absolutely insane? He could go to Stars Hollow High and wear his regular clothes and be bored out of his fucking mind (and not be entertained by Rory taking notes and biting her lip) –

(Okay, he's going over his options.)

He shuts his eyes tightly as he rinses out his hair, forcing himself to recite "Howl" until his mind clears.

He turns off the water and dries himself, wrapping his towel around his waist when he hears a sharp knock on the door.

"I have clothes," Luke says, his voice muffled.

Jess considers arguing, but he's tired now and it seems easier to open the door and take the offered clothes: a pair of sweatpants and a Mets shirt. Jess had figured Luke would be a Red Sox fan given the 860 territory of Connecticut, but he doesn't plan on questioning it.

When Jess leaves the bathroom, he finds Luke in the kitchen, flipping what seems to be a grilled cheese.

"I used provolone and cheddar. Did you want a tomato in this?"

"I'm good, thanks."

Luke flips it one more time to check the bread and reaches for a plate to put the sandwich on. He hands it to Jess.

"Thanks." Jess checks the fridge and there are a few cans of Coke left. Figuring soda isn't the best thing given that he has residual nicotine buzz in his system, he grabs a water bottle and sits down at the table.

The grilled cheese is pretty damn good. Once Luke is satisfied that Jess will be eating the entire sandwich, he goes to the stove and breaks out a fucking tea kettle. Jess grimaces, figuring correctly that Luke would be making two cups of herbal tea.

Luke finally stays still and Jess notices Luke's red rimmed eyes.

"I spoke with your step-dad. Your mom wasn't available," Luke says in the stilted way that Jess had picked up on weeks ago to be Luke's 'lying out of his ass' tone.

"She was passed out," Jess corrects him flatly. "What did he say."

"I told him you were staying with me and he was more than okay with that."

"Okay. And Chilton?"

"He said he'll continue paying for it as long as you continue to keep up your grades," Luke snorts. Then pauses. "What are you getting?"

Jess smiles.

Luke grumbles and shakes his head. "Well, if it's good enough for this jerk, it's good enough for me."

He's obviously still paying as a status thing, or a way to avoid scandal, which, whatever. At least he'll get to enjoy Rory in knee-high socks in the fall.

"I gotta ask – how did you dent your car?"

Jess snorts and takes a sip of his tea. Nope, not good. "It was months ago and I backed into a pile of snow."

"And you didn't tell anyone?"

"I wanted to see how long it would take for anyone to notice."

"Well, it got noticed alright." Luke sighs. "We'll figure out the rest tomorrow. Are you still hungry?"

"Nope."

"Okay. So…not a fan of tea?"

"Not really," Jess admits, but he picks up his mug again and takes another sip. It's somewhat getting better, but he'd never make it himself.

"Let me see if I can find you a spare toothbrush."

Luke gets up from the table and halfway to the bathroom, Jess says, "Thank you."

Luke stops walking. "You're welcome." Then continues to the bathroom.

(Jess tries not to laugh when he years shit falls out of the medicine cabinet and Luke cursing.)

**

Luke seems to pass out immediately, but Jess, despite his exhaustion, is awake on his blow-up mattress or raft or whatever the hell he's on.

Over the year he's gotten used to the utter lack of noise at night, mostly with the help of music. It's still weird and it's downright eerie at times, but it's not as bad as it was in the beginning.

Although this – Stars Hollow – is probably even worse than where he was living before.

He only has six CDs with him and as much as he loathes to admit it, he probably needs to listen to something that's more akin to Parachutes and not Never Mind the Bollocks.

So, he's left with the silence. And Luke's intermittent snoring. Eventually, he's lulled to sleep, mostly because the adrenaline and nicotine are long gone and the hot shower did help a little, even though he won't admit it.

**

When Jess wakes up, he's alone. He checks his watch and it's a little past six. He groans and considers falling back asleep, but the raft has deflated a little and he heard Luke drop something in the back, so he sits up with a wince, rubbing the back of his neck.

He tries to get his hair back in order, but gives up after a few minutes. The cut looks worse in the daylight, but he ignores it. He rubs his cheek against his growing stubble and figures he needs to really make these living arrangements official and buy bathroom supplies later.

He heads downstairs and seeing Rory first thing in the morning is admittedly one of his favorite things. He can get used to having breakfast at Luke's every day and maybe he's a little relieved to have Luke with him when they go back to Hartford since he always believed in the power of the getaway driver. He just hopes that Luke can have a lead foot when it's important.

(Which, it turns out he does while they're speeding up I-84 on the way there and speeding down on the way back; they should get along just fine.)