#hello yes it’s me again talking about rimmer who is surprised?

[zarophod]

high and dry by radiohead is so arnold rimmer coded it makes me sick

[oc-character-development]

Rimmer x OC- Lily’s worst week

Hey! here’s the explanation as to how my OC got three million years into the future and stuck with the boys! Also I know I said I wasn’t going to write in third person very much but it just seemed easier to explain from an narrator’s point of view. Just for some context- this is set after Lister is sent to status (in my head in the TV Show universe the leak didn’t happen the day Lister was sent into status as I’m fairly sure Lister would have found out about the Gazpacho soup incident from Petersen or something if he was out of status at the time of gazpacho soup which happened six weeks before the leak in November and Lister doesn’t know about it so it happened after he was put into status) and so the leak happened in December so let’s say it’s early December around the time of this fic. Anyway enough of me being a as Rimmer would say ‘babbling imbecile’ here’s the fic:

Two weeks before the cadmium II leak:

Rimmer sat in the canteen of the Mining Ship Red Dwarf three years to the day that he met Lily. Since that one day where he had by chance walked Lily McGruder to the canteen the two of them had become friends. Close friends. In fact Lily had become one of the only friends he had on the ship. But eight months ago on the 16th of March he ruined that friendship. He was certain of it. Arnold Judas Rimmer had done something awful. Well not awful in the sense that he hadn’t done something bad. But awful in the sense of who he had done what he did with. He‘d had a one night stand with Yvonne McGruder. Lily’s sister. And he did not feel bad about it. He had thought long and hard about his options (eight months to be precise) and he had finally come to a conclusion. Initially, he had thought about lying to her about it and she would not to find out about it however, she could tell when he was lying and would soon figure it out so he had actually come to the decision that he was actually going to tell Lily and she was going to be upset with him. She was going to be livid. She was going to end their friendship right there and then and never speak to him again. She was going to view him as a prat like all the others. And Rimmer was certain he didn’t want that. He wanted to remain friends with her but it was probably better if they didn’t because he felt he wasn’t a good friend.

“Hello Arnold” Lily’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Lily didn’t call him Rimmer. She always called him Arnold or Arn and occasionally, Arnie when she felt like it. “Hello Lily” he replied “can I sit down?” She asked “yes you can” he said she sat down opposite him and put her tray down there was something different about Lily today and Rimmer couldn’t put his finger on it. Was it her hair? Was she wearing make up for once? No he didn’t think so for either of those. He cleared his throat “I actually need to talk to you about something- what’s wrong?” he asked noticing that Lily was not eating her food “my sister’s leaving the ship” she said “what?” Rimmer said “Yvonne’s left the ship and she won’t tell me why” “well she probably has a good reason” he said “she tells me everything though! But for the past eight months she’s been avoiding me and then she stops boxing then a few months after that leaves without a word of explanation wearing really baggy clothing that she’s never worn before and I’m just smegging confused” Lily explained “anyway I get you’re feeling uncomfortable, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” Lily asked Rimmer who didn’t move an inch “I know why your sister might have left” he said “why?” Lily looked at him “b-because siblings can be horrible and selfish sometimes- I remember one time Howard flushed my teddy down the toilet at Io House. I was six. Said I was too old for a teddy but I wasn’t- however it was all good fun in the end and sometimes siblings just do things to have fun with their siblings” he said Rimmer then surprisingly felt a pang of guilt in his stomach he lied to his only friend on the ship and now he actually felt guilty about it “oh” Lily replied however- Rimmer then realised what was different with Lily. She wasn’t eating her food and she looked a bit peaky (but he wasn’t going to mention that). “You still haven’t touched your food” he said “I’ve got a bit of a cold- it’s causing me not to have an appetite” she replied looking at her watch “smeg- I have to go and start my shift of flight co-ordination” she smiled at him “I’ll see you later Arn” she upped and left to go and start her shift. The day went as normal and as mundane as every day on the Red Dwarf.

The first thing Lily noticed was the pain in her stomach as she got up the next morning. First the world’s most smegging annoying cold and now this? She thought. She was running late for her daily meet up at breakfast with Rimmer. She had avoided the whole elephant in the room yesterday and she was going to just ignore it today too. She liked Rimmer overall but she was a little annoyed with him. He’d lied to her and she knew it. Lily knew that Rimmer had slept with her sister, and she didn’t care- she was more cross with her sister- she broke a promise they’d made years ago whilst back on earth- neither her or Yvonne would sleep with a friend of either sister without asking them out first and checking with each other first (the last part was stupid but she was fifteen when they made that pact- thinking she’d sleep with loads of guys since then- but evidently she’d had none of that since well, ever. Rimmer was not at fault in her eyes. She knew Rimmer had a massive crush on Yvonne and she didn’t care about that half the crew had a crush on Yvonne and she didn’t care that Rimmer was one of them- or so she told herself- part of her did actually care but she didn’t know it- that was buried deep in her subconscious where no one- not even better than life could access it.

Lily jumped down from her bunk, had a wash in the sink (she’d showered the night before) and grabbed her clothing from her chair, the bland grey uniform with the sown on badges to indicate her rank was mundane. And today she was finding it especially mundane and very boring . However as she got dressed and ready to go for the day she realised felt sick. She felt sick and frail. Lily decided to make a quick stop at the medical bay before breakfast but as she stepped out into that corridor she felt a wave of dizzy and promptly fainted onto the floor.

“She has a very serious virus that we don’t have the equipment for” “but she’s going to die if you don’t do something!” Rimmer was currently fighting with the ship’s doctor about Lily’s condition. He had found Lily laying crumpled on her side on the way to fix a chicken soup despenser (again), he had immediately dropped everything and brought her to the medical centre on the ship where she had been attended to by a nurse and a doctor immediately, Rimmer went back, did the job and now had just hurried back to check up on his friend. Lily had just woken up but was struggling to keep her eyes open with weakness and Rimmer was not happy with the doctor’s explanation. It turned out Lily had caught a virus. Not very surprising to Lily as she was always sick as a child and could easily catch stuff. But this time she had caught a virus on Titan and it was bad. Within ten months of contracting the virus she would be dead if a cure was not administered and six of those had already passed. Red Dwarf didn’t have a cure. “We could find the things needed when we reach our next mining destination as there is those on there” the doctor said calmly “that’s still over a year away! She’ll be dead by then you gimboid!” Rimmer yelled he couldn’t understand why he was so angry- he hadn’t been this angry even with Lister. Rimmer came to the conclusion that it was because he couldn’t accept that the only person he could actually call a friend was going to die and he couldn’t do anything about it. He’d be alone. “you could put me in status until you get a cure” Lily spoke up weakly “what?” Both the doctor and Rimmer looked confused at her “the status booths are only used for punishment and are rarely used anyway and if time doesn’t exist in the booths then my illness shouldn’t get worse you could just wake me up when a cure is available” Lily explained great! Now I’m losing her to a status booth thought Rimmer he did not like this idea but both the doctor and him knew it was the only way. The doctor agreed this was a valid way and they wheeled her to status without another word.

When they arrived they stood by the booth next to the booth Lister was in. He was in mid wave and it annoyed Rimmer that he was going to be eighteen months older than he was when Lister entered and Lister wouldn’t have aged a day. In fact he’d have saved eighteen months of his life. It was annoying. But now wasn’t the time for that- Lily was about to go into status as well and would come out in- well they didn’t actually know when. “You’ll still be there when I get out Arn” she said just managing to look up at him from the wheelchair she was sat in she was too weak to walk or stand. Rimmer didn’t say anything. He didn’t even look at her. In fact he was miserable. “Arnold look- nothing will have changed by the time I get out- we’ll still be friends even if you are like eighty years old- I mean it’s not as if something will kill you whilst I’m in there the chances of that happening are small and very unlikely” she said she was getting weaker by the second but still persisted for a reply, again, she got no response from Rimmer. “Say something- please Arnold- don’t be mad at me” she said Rimmer looked at her finally at she swore she saw hurt in his eyes “I’m not mad at you- I’m just- I’m going to be here when you get out I’ll make sure of it” “who knows you might be an officer by the time I get out” she smiled “I smegging hope so” he said however, it was at this moment that Rimmer realised how pretty Lily was. No she wasn’t a model. She wasn’t like his sister in law who was actually one of the most beautiful girls in the world in his opinion. Lily was- average. Her long brown hair loosely tied in a messy ponytail a few strands of hair had come away from where they were tied, then he realised what colour her eyes were- bright blue eyes that any man could look into all day- any man of course who was not Rimmer- no, Rimmer was not in love with the girl he bumped into on the way to the canteen for breakfast a few years back, no he was just friends with her, just friends. “Ready?” the doctor said “see you Arnie” she said Rimmer was speechless from his previous realisation but then managed to stumble out the words “I’ll see you when you get out Lily” and with that- Lily was wheeled into status and the booth door was shut and locked. The doctors and Rimmer and everyone else assumed a cure would be ready within a few years and they assumed the door would open in four or five years at the latest. These assumptions were far from right. It would be Holly who’d create the cure and the door to the status booth wouldn’t open for another three million years.

Note: Also just a note because I will be writing stuff from the book series universe as well in the future I’m just pointing out that this is what happened in that universe as well but with a few minor changes (eg: instead of Titan where she caught the virus in the TV universe it was on Miranda in the book) also the reason why Lily and Rimmer don’t get the clues to Yvonnne being pregnant is well Rimmer is well Rimmer and Lily just doesn’t clock it in her brain at the time. It sets in when they meet Michael McGruder years later plus Lily has trouble focusing which also explains why she tends to go with the boys plans later on instead of thinking up of a better one herself despite being the sensible one of the posse. (Also I know that Rimmer and McGruder technically doesn’t have Michael in the TV show but I like to think he was around in TV but Rimmer just hasn’t met or didn’t meet him in that universe). Let me know if there’s anything else that might not make sense. Any feedback would be welcome if you want to as to how to make my writing better. Thanks for reading!