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askthelittletimeplant · 7 years ago
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"Oh surely I can help?" She chortles as the plant life next to her catches flame. "Oh dear did that bush have some fruit on it? What a shame."
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Lonnie: I’ll fix it right up, don’t worry about it. 
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Lonnie: There’s even three nomel berries here.
(Berry Count: 4)
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49scribes-a · 7 years ago
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Never not gonna hate that bitch
Man I would'a punched her
Gottarun gottarun gottarun
[Nate voice] LOLBYE
I GOT STUCK. THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME.
*singing* gotta fucking ruuun
Oh god– I’M LEAVING THIS PLACE.
You guys are a bunch of assholes, I don’t wanna hang out with you.
RUN FOREST RUUUUN.
Sully is A Good. A dirty, but A Good.
Man I wouldn’t have gotten back up after that.
“We’re safe here”. Are we really?
You try to take that from me I’m gonna break this bottle over your head, Sully.
“You must be at least Level 4 to unlock tragic backstory.” And by Level 4 we mean A Thief’s End.
You miss the tit and ass commetary that much?
No I don’t miss it.
Be The Squirrel.
Very big squirrel.
Very destructive like a squirrel.
Chloe asking the real questions.
Wow, that was a big ass rat.
Oh, rest in peace Cutter.
Midair ragdoll. Nice.
I really wish I had the Evil Within 2 cuz then I’d be screaming all the time.
No, no, no, no, I don’t wanna go down the creepy hallway.
Totally want to go down the creepy hallway don’t lie
Oh fuck spiders.
THE SPIDERS. I REMEMbER THE SPIDERS.
KITTY.
*meows at the kitty*
MROW.
I’m the monkey. Of course.
Monkey man.
What is this, Twilight?
Seriously what was with all the monkey comments in twilight?
“I know what you really are.” “Say it–” “*whispers* MONKEY MAN.”
Just chokes him.
Kinky.
I can’t believe King Cross is in this game.
Fuck King Cross.
Lavi sneaking his way into my commentary smh
Damn I took out mine quicker, Cutter. Did you see how I swung the shIT out of him and he ragdolled?
Since when does Nate do anything quietly?
Nope. Denied.
That fucking smug face.
Weeeeee have a nice nap.
They gon’ sleep gud
There it is. SPIDER IN A JAR. Stupid spider. Dear lord.
That godly cat sense.
Squirrel game not strong enough.
ITS MINE NOW.
I took the wrong bus going to class and I wound up in this HELLA fancy street. Imma go back, its hella aesthetic.
“Bnaca”. WOW YOU MISPELLED MY NAME KIT. WHAT HTE HELL. BANNED.
The other Bianca where I work is Blanch, now you bianca are Bnaca.
I’m sexually attracted to a library *finger guns*
Not a phrase I ever thought I’d read with my own two eyes.
(please don’t take me seriously… but it really is a hella nice library.
Too late I already took it seriously. You’ll forever be known to me as That Library Fucker.
Hmmmmm…. title I will gladly wear. It is better than my last one.
Dare I even ask what your last one was?
mY DAD JUST CAME BACK HOME AND I THOUGHT WE WERE BEING ROBBED AND I ALMOST HAD A FUCKING HEART ATTACK. I WAS REACHING FOR MY KNIFE AND EVERYTHING. I WAS GONNA STEALTH ATTACK THEIR ASS IF WE WERE.
He just… spread his ass cheeks wide open for that death.
This assholes gonna get it. Gonna get fucking clipped.
This asshole’s gonna get it – in the asshole.
“That wasn’t necessary” I don’t know what you’re talking about. That was completely necessary.
Tfw ur a paranoid fuck and have a mental map of hiding places on your route home.
I don’t plan hiding places, I plot environmental hazard spots.
I would have just led him into traffic tbh. I’m a dick that way.
Catch me taking random and increasingly dangerous routes.
When I opened my eyes, I was on the road and bleeding.
To be fair, I dented the pole with my face. So it was a tie.
Didn’t go to the hospital though. I was 8. I was tough. We went on vacation the next day.
*/Pyromania intensifies/*
I don’t think Doug is gonna like this place.
JUST AS LONG AS HE’S NOT THE ONE ON FIRE.
[Lavi voice] :3c
Flirting, Lavi style: Light them on fire
Man that’s actually kind of a weird thing to say when you remember how many things and people Lavi has lit on fire.
Technically everything Lavi has lit on fire have been Akuma so does that count?
You forget this is Lavi.
Lavi’s a demon fucker – More news at 10.
Things Lavi has lit on fire: Doug. Krory. Allen. Road. Tyki. Billions of Akuma. What a slut.
HE ALSO LIT THE EARL ON FIRE.
I could say something about him lighting the Earl on fire but… I w on ’t.
I DID NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT, KIT.
He’s fine, its just a busted knee cap.
Nate’s very thicc. Look at that ass.
-squints at all the weed blogs following me now-
IIIIIMMMM GONNA SWIIIING FROM THE CHANDLIEEEER. FROM THE CHANDELIIIEEEEEEER.
I assumed he would come back on wednesday because he’d be out of weed. He’s always out of weed on this day. Weedless wednesdays.
I’m back, and I’m not reading all that. I’m kinda scared to read what you’re all saying anyway.
Haha knight armor.
Light it on fire and see what happens :>
N O. KIT NO. WEEPS.
I may just suck at sucking.
No Escape.
Give me the cat nip.
BE SAFE. Don’t fly away or anything.
Oz doesn’t have internet. Its not worth the trip.
But what if I want to fly away.
Then bring a parachute
Time For Regret.
Fuuuuck no I hate those big ass spiders.
Wow this water is so green. Its Super Green.
Green Lantern water.
Inhale the glow.
Its the mucus from those commercials for mucinex.
Make sure you inhale with your stomach – inhale the maximum amount of glow.
DRAG HIM INTO THE WELL.
WELCOME TO HELL.
Well Hell.
Yolo harder.
Your fucking shit is mine.
You just turned his dick into swiss cheese.
Ah yes. The dick shots. Its been too long.
Peak out, bitch.
Yea, they can. Where do you think that curdled milk cheese comes from.
My life has been a lie.
I can’t even remember what its called. Its nasty af though. Chunky milk in a dish.
Cottage cheese?
YES. THAT. COTTAGE CHEESE COMES FROM SWISS CHEESED DICKS.
eVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE.
(library voice) I’m sexy and I know it
Today on Hige Ruins Everything
Look at that goddamn library. I’d put my cottage cheese all over that thing.
HQ to Bianca. You’re breaking up. Over.
I’m sorry I keep breaking up with you guys, I just feel like our relationship isn’t going to advance any further.
JUST BECAUSE ITS NOT GOING TO LEVEL UP DOESN’T MEAN WE HAVE TO BREAK UP. WE CAN STAY THIS WAY.
I’LL PISS IN THE BENDY PART OF THEIR KNEE.
What. Where did that even–
My hands are cold. Almost as cold as my soul.
Hello darkness my old friend.
That’s friend material right there.
SIREN’S ARE GOING AGAIN. WHY’RE SIRENS GOING AGAIN. THE DOGS ARE BORKING.
Bullet buffet.
Is that… pineapple with pizza slice toppings?
And we’ve lost Bianca.
If it fits I fuckings falls ins.
Did Nate have tits just now? When he… when he died.
If he did, they would have saved his life.
Stop that bullet trajectory into his chest.
#TitsSaveLives
[Lavi voice] Can confirm. Trust me, I’m an expert.
GLIIITCH.
WHOA. WHAT IS GOING ON. GAME? GAME?!
At least it unglitched me.
Still not as great as Vibrating Nate. Also yes hello I am now Dr. Suess.
ITS BECAUSE I SAID TITS SAVE LIVES, ISN’T IT
THAT HURT.
DID HE JUST. PUNCH HIM IN THE NUTS OR.
dick kicking time.
Aaah, to have a smoker handy.
I thought of four different types of smoker in an instant and was very confused bc to what point is a meat smoker going to help Nate…
Tfw you hear the word smoker and think of meat smoker first despite hanging with stoners…
I call hax on Nate.
Man if I had that torch I woulda smacked that guy and burned half his face
Oh fuck off Talibut. Shove a cactus up your ass.
what the fUCK. HELL NO.
NIGHTMARE FUEL.
Screw the spiders.
Spirahnas.
bAD SPIDERS.
Just blew that guy into Kibbles n Bits
This is the party cart.
PAAARTTTYY CAAART.
wh AT HAPPENED TO MI SON. DEAK YOU PUT YOUR HEAD BACK ON RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN.
WUT UP MY DITCH COUSINS
The sky.
WRONG. THE SHRIEKING VOID WE LOVINGLY CALL SPACE.
But what if its down? Or left?
Technically the void is everywhere and nowhere all at once -- its inescapable in its omnipotence.
I aint even high rn.
Your very existence is a high.
This is true. This is probably why I have not been high despite having been hot boxed and smoking three god damn blunts. I just... can't get it.
They kept saying maaan you're gonna be fucked up after this and i'm just. bruh my entire existence is fucked up.
HI I HEARD THERE WAS FIRE.
FFFIIIIIRRRREEEEEEEEEEE.
The pyro in me is v happy with this scene.
Even better than assthetic.
It'd hit my aesthetic if I could smell it through the screen, but alas, I cannot.
NYOOM. LOOK AT HIM FLY.
God I love the smell of burning buildings tho. I mean... it smells terrible... but it fills me with a very warm and fuzzy feeling. Like a feeling one might get on christmas morning.
Hige confirmed for arsonist.
I told you before, my town was just a constant smell of maceration water, decay, cat piss, and various forms of smoke.
He didn't see you. He smelled you.
Reno called: he wants his uniform back.
I still don't get how he does all this shit with them tight ass pants.
RIP his balls. RIP his life too.
Nate is the real one stripping balls.
Did I just hear a Sasuke scream.
NAAAAAARUTTOOOOOOOOOOO.
AGAIN. THANK YOU LORDS.
IT SOUNDS LIKE FUCKING SASUKE.
Sasuke Uchihad his ass to the future.
Sasuke Uchihad his own ass.
He scream at own ass.
I used to be a treasure hunter like u. Then I took a bullet to the knee.
You mean to the dick. Bianca here takes no prisoners.
No that guy took it 2 the knee.
His third knee.
I /guess/ it counts as a bone.
Nate pads his ass cheeks. Is this how he survives them falls?
Those big guys have balls of steel tho he took those kicks like a CHAMP.
What if he's broken his ass before? RIP Nate's ass.
Probably has tbh. Had that crushed pelvis from Snoo Snoo.
Walked crooked for a month. Got roasted with anal jokes.
U know I could make a joke but. I'll be good.
No. Be bad.
Life is better when you don't think through your actions. Just get it out.
Think of all the children u just killed Bianca.
Today I saw a dead possum on the road outside the house.
When life throws grenades, pick them up and throw them back. I DON'T WANT YOUR GOD DAMN GRENADES.
This can't be it. That couldn't possibly be it. Is this to lul me into a false sense of security? Because its not cool. I feel like a deer, walking across the open meadow.
Tripping baaaaaaaallz.
Nate likes playing with big balls, pass it along.
Well you could design a sword without the blood groof but it'd be heavy af. Like good fucking luck swinging it unless you're the incarnation of "I' the Juggernaut, bitch".
I'm judging all of FFVII.
Judge Reno while you're at it.
Too busy judging Lavi. At least Reno doesn't have a knife kink.
..... *coughs* W e ll...
Reno, after being stabbed: Thank u this is mine now.
Her boobs got smaller, I swear. Look. Look at them. They shrunk.
RIP Elena's boobs.
*Sighs* All these people, history buffs.
Naaaah we all just collectively played Assassins Creed.
It tru tho.
Lavi, putting his fists up: You got a problem with history buffs?
Nate your ass looks great in these jeans.
I want all the ass creed. All. Need.
Its the Spooders that we don't like.
SPOODERS.
I hope you're happy fox fox. I just choked on my spongey creme bread reading that goddamn angst.
I'm that jackass that pushes you into the spiders webs just to hear you scream.
He found the mummified corpse of an old man holding his dick in his last fap session in his tomb.
Yes, please, stop me. Tackle me. (laughs)
Lavi and Deak tbh. Except. They'd actually tackle each other lmfao.
Penelo Pinella Pinero bread WHO CARES. Her name is Penera Bread now.
I can't wait to hear you screaming kek.
Those aren't swords those are Mammoth Cleavers.
There we go. Mammoth Cleavers. We'll go with that I guess.
"I hope it'll be helpful to you". Yeah, I mean. It'll be helpful... to me... in stealing stuff. But don't worry about it. You didn't hear nothin'.
I'm still stuck in the fifth ark, spam killing slugs weeps
I was going somewhere and I can't remember where.
The waterway whose name I can't spell.
Fussbudget... his name is Fussbudget. Really?
...I'm not making those noises.
Shut up, Kit. I wasn't going to impersonate that.
But why not? Do it. Do it for the vine.
I'm not doing it for the vine.
There's an esper in this area but you can't get it later. He's the one I can't pronounce his name right, he's the one I can't say it right, but he's the UGLY one. Like the really ugly one.
I'm a rat murderer and taker of treasure.
No, come back. Come baaaaack-- You're dead.
You know if it weren't for game logic I would just jump right up there.
Am I your magic rare game charm now or?
Kit you're my rare game charm now. So... wave your hands, and make the Razorfin pop up.
*waves mi hands in the air* RazorwingRazorwingRazorwing
Its Razorfin not Razorwing.
Give me your bigger mutant brother, so I can kill it.
Razorfin more like Bitchfin.
(Razorfin voice) Not Today
(Razorfin voice) you said you were gonna cook me so i aiN'T COMIN OUT
What if I don't cook you, will you come out? I'll... put you in clean water or something.
(Razorfin voice) n o p e u done goofed
No broom pats this time. I'm impressed.
I probably hurt its feelings when I called it Razorwing. Or Bitchfin.
God damn it Kit you were supposed to be a magic charm to make these rare game come out and instead you hurt its feelings.
(razorfin voice) ALL OF U ARE MEANIES I'M TAKING MY TOYS AND GOING HOME.
You know its been a while since anythings respawned in this area because. It seems to know I'm on a war path.
You know I feel like this is somewhere on par with the Helix fossil.
Let's not bring up our Lord and Savior the Helix fossil.
Wow I'm so desperate for it to pop up I thought I just saw a red dot on my screen, but my eyes are playing tricks on me.
Get your fucking helix out of here.
YOU ASSHOLE. YOU'RE MINE.
BITCHFINS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. WEEPS. POOR BITCHFIN.
Look Isa-- Bitchfin. Deserved it. Making me go back SO MANY TIMES before it respawned.
Vaan don't make those noises. Makes me think of dirty things-- oh my god.
Balthier you little shit, you had to say it all fancy like?
WHO HERE LIKES MIMICS BECAUSE I SURE DON'T.
Wow. That was bad. For a moment I mistook Basch for a corpse and I was gonna attack him.
Calm yourself before you hurt yourself.
So many spooky scary skeletons.
Don't start that Isa NO.
Spoopy scary skeletons. For the skeleton war. En gaurde Fuckboy.
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