#hella jeffa

[screane5]

sbahj trans au

sbahj trans au

[stuckonscenarios]

Jake, Dirk, and Dave trying to impress/show effection to their crush who is 100% oblivious to all od it? (Love ur blog btw

this blog loves you anon!

💚 there is a sort of irony in jake crushing on somebody totally oblivious, given how totally oblivious he is when it comes to romance. (while this irony is completely lost on him, it is not on the rest of the alphas, who tease him mercilessly.)

💀 jake has a very idealized concept of what romance and courtship should be like due to his only exposure to such things being movies. he probably studies all of his favorite protagonists and analyzes how they get their love interests to fall in love with them, and tries to copy that. expect lots of slick lines and heroism on jake’s part. 

💚 only problem with this is that jake is a total doofus deep down, so these attempts as playing the macho cool guy pretty much fall through regardless of your obliviousness. but jake is not willing to give up on you!

💀 in a fit of near desperation, jake begs karkat to let him have access to his extensive collection of romcoms. this quickly proves to be a mistake, as they’re all based on troll romance. but jake does manage to pick out a few tips on red romance, and quickly employs them on you; flowers, chocolates, all the traditional cliches. 

💚 also i forgot to mention this earlier—jake is the epitome of a chivalrous gentleman around you. opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc etc. you make him really nervous though, so he gets flustered easily and fumbles a lot. 

🧡 for a long time, dirk kind of just. doesn’t acknowledge his crush on you. there’s not a whole lot for you to be oblivious about because dirk gives no indication that he’s into you. after that initial period of repression, however, comes the plotting. 

⚔️ dirk plans every interaction between the two of you to a t. when you message him, his replies always come late because he spends so long crafting the perfect reply. he’s careful to be just aloof enough so as to keep his cool guy exterior, but not so aloof as to completely hide his intentions. dirk’s ultimate goal is to keep you guessing; he wants to draw you to him, for you to make the first move.

🧡 unfortunately for him, this does not happen. you chalk all of his subtle lines and advances up to irony and completely disregard the notion that dirk might like you. while dirk does not necessarily change his methods, he does steadily increase the intensity of them. he does avoid any outright romantic gestures, but still manages to do everything except outright tell you he likes you.

⚔️ similarly to when dirk was trying to get with jake, hal will probably get involved. hal has a much more direct approach when it comes to communication and flirting, so this may help speed the process along (much to dirk’s chagrin). 

❤️ dave is, in a weird way, a sort of combination of jake and dirk when it comes to getting your attention. he tries to play up this loner hero stereotype even harder than usual when you’re around, but his natural dorkiness always shines through.

💿 he’s always swooping in to try and play the hero and save you, whenever he has the chance. however, you don’t put two and two together that dave’s doing this because he has a crush on you, and not just because that’s how he is. you think dave just likes playing the hero because of a combination of loving his friends and how bro raised him. 

❤️ any suggestion you have about sweet bro & hella jeffa will immediately be published. dave values your opinion above all else, and will sometimes make comics based off conversations the two of you have or things that you two do just for you. he’s even made a few of you interacting with the characters, just because he knows it makes you happy. 

💿 you know how some people write poetry about the people they love? dave writes rap verses. whenever you two get into a rap battle, dave will make sure to include a few verses that are about you. he hopes that you’ll realize what he means by this, but you always seem to chalk it up to him just exercising his artistic liberties. 

❤️ after he realizes that his COOL K1D act isn’t getting him anywhere, dave decides to drop the irony with you and be more genuine. he figures that make then you’ll realize that he’s showing you a side of him that he wouldn’t show just anybody, that you’re special to him.