#hell had nothing to do with Alucard's state of being

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

*Sometime after 1475 in hell*

Satan: Yo, Luci, has Vlad Tepes showed up yet? He died like three months ago, and he's not heaven

Lucifer: What? No. He hasn't showed up at all, the fuck do you mean he isn't in heaven?

Satan: Yea, some angel was asking if we had him, because we didn't. There's also like an ungodly amount of souls missing aside from that one. I think there's like over four thousand souls that are also missing as well...

Lucifer: ....There's four thousand souls missing?

Satan: Yes.

Lucifer: Well, I guess we should see what's going down on the Mortal planes than....

_____

*Dracula doing as Dracula does and devouring his own people*

Lucifer: Ok, who the fuck allowed that to happen? Who the fuck green lit that? Who let Vlad Tepes turn into a goddamn Eldritch abomination??

Satan: I think the humans are calling it a vampire

Lucifer: A vampire? That's what that is? I'm sorry, that still doesn't answer my question of who in the seven layers of hell green lit that thing!!

Satan: We didn't. The blood choose for it happen.

Lucifer: The fuck do you mean the blood chose for it

Satan: Too many people died in one place, and Vlad was too angry to die.

Lucifer: .....God allowed this to happen didn't he? He fucking let this happen, didn't He, the fucking bastard

[nkn0va]

Another OC Post

My previous post that debuted Six got very glowing reviews from @your-phantomfield. After some conversation I ended up getting another idea for a oneshot, this time also featuring one of their OCs as well with their blessing and some help. Writing motivation has unfortunately been butchered due to multiple factors but they've managed to make me really wanna do this. Hopefully this goes just as well as the last one.

Yet another long post under the cut. (Like, noticeably longer than the last one.)

Six...for lack of a better term, froze when he found out. Yet his heart was going a million miles a minute with a myriad of emotions all at once, feeling like it was about to burst out of his chest.

Hakumen...Trinity...

...Nine...

His magic reacted to his emotions, becoming unstable and chaotic just like they were right now. Almost to a dangerous degree. His arms glowed with the near overflow of power, any lesser Sage would've lost control and lead to disaster. He'd been told of the news from Valkenhayn who'd learned about it from Jubei, and with only a word of thanks for the news he teleported away, ending up somewhere in the forest outside of the Alucard Manor. The tree unfortunate enough to be next to him was the victim of his rage in the moment, receiving a punch and combined with his power, immediately froze over, the bark becoming rock solid and the leaves turning brittle like ice cubes.

It didn't take a genius to figure out who was responsible for it. He already knew even without being told. The only question was how. How the hell did he break free from the Mind Eater? Even if this was Terumi, he couldn't think of a single way he was able to break Nine of all people's spell. That didn't matter though, what was done was done. More importantly, he had some questions that needed answers, and only one person could give them to him.

With a teleport, Six was at the doorstep of a small house in the outskirts of Ishana. He didn't bother to knock, it was rather likely he was already being expected. He opened the door and the person he was looking for was expectedly there, sitting cross-legged on the floor in the center of the living room.

There sat a woman, a tad bit older than Six. Her face was largely covered in a midnight black veil that ran down the length of her body and flowed onto the floor behind her. Her aura was that of emptiness. Apathy, even. Yet beneath the facade, she was rather intrigued about how this interaction might turn out.

"You've come", she stated plainly. She'd known that he was going to, and she had a pretty good idea why. She needed no power to figure it out.

Six crossed his arms, his patience already being considerably worn. Four was no longer deserving of any formalities, as far as he was concerned. He cut straight to the chase.

"So you kept silent again. And once more other people are paying for that."

"Whatever do you speak of?"

"Don't you even think of trying to play oblivious, it's not going to save you this time." Six pointed an accusatory finger at his colleague.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re falling like flies out here as of late. One got eaten up by the Black Beast like a corn chip, Eight was killed by the weapons that were supposed to protect us, Seven’s gone AWOL, Clavis of all people dropped dead, and now…”

Six had to stop for a bit, taking a deep breath in an attempt to keep his composure. Six was only getting more exasperated the more he spoke, it was clear in his body language. He gestured around with his hands one by one as whilst listing the situation Ishana and the world at large found itself in, each movement unconsciously letting out a small gust of chilly air. His magic was starting to grow just as agitated as he was. “...Now four of the Six Heroes, two of which were among our own, are now wandering about in the Boundary who knows where… and yet again here you are, doing nothing about it.”

Under all the veils, she's smiling during the first half of Six's confrontation. He's snappy, he's interesting... until he directs the blame for all of this onto her. How childish.

"I'm a noncombatant." A simple, to the point answer, as if it absolves her of all culpability. As if somehow Six had simply forgotten that, and everything will be all right now that she's pointed out the obvious. He wasn't buying that though, if the look on his face was anything to go by.

“And that’s your excuse? Your excuse to watch and let people die? Your lack of frontline capabilities and the limitations on your powers to do nothing? You couldn’t have spoken up? You simply let things start falling apart because it’s inconvenient to your abilities?” 

Before a response could be formulated, he turned his head away for a moment, scoffing. Now that the words had actually escaped his mouth he realized how redundant it sounded. “Who am I kidding, of course it is. You already let millions die with that excuse when you said nothing about the Black Beast. We let you off because your intel was useful, but now you seem to think your work is done. Now that the Beast isn't at risk of knocking on your doorstep anymore apparently you're of the idea that nothing matters."

“Was that not the state of the world at large for years, Six,” Four inquired calmly and matter-of-factly. “All that death you're so concerned about, that has simply become a way of life now. That's what happens in war. We lost Nine, but she saved countless. She's a hero. She served her role... you're just taking it personally because you wanted to fuck her."

Oh hell no.

His head dipped down, the shadow of his hat covering his face. The only thing peering from under the cloak of darkness was a single pale blue light. The fury in its brightness was clear as a winter afternoon sky, the cold aura that emanated from it contrasted with the unusual raging hot fury that gripped Six’s psyche and refused to let go. Six wasn’t like Nine, he was above raising his voice. He didn’t need to, the tone he spoke with more than conveyed his emotions. Calm, yet venomous, bitingly cold. He had more than one way of making others freeze in their tracks.

"You want to run that by me again, by chance?"

His cloak and hat fluttered in the wind. The icy, cloudy air that now permeated the room and formed crystals of ice at his feet, sending chills down Four's spine. If she couldn’t find a way out of this, her only choice left against the enraged ice-clad angel, or demon, depending on who was asked, would be to pick a god and pray. Even then, they might not be able to save her now.

The heaviness of the situation began to creep in on her, both figuratively and literally. Normally it would excite her, the entertainment a tempting prospect to play with. Though now she realized perhaps she'd extinguished that possibility now. There was no way even she could escape the fury of the Frost Angel, as some had taken to calling him. The fact she'd even gotten this far now meant she now needed a way out, lest she be extinguished as well.

Thankfully, she just happened to have the perfect ace in her sleeve.

"You think I wouldn't have seen your feelings for her by now? It's why you're acting up like this. It's quite unusual for you. You think she's dead."

The light dimmed, a good sign. "What...? What are you trying to say?"

"Did you honestly believe someone like Nine would fall victim to the Boundary? She's perfectly alive and well, just not right now."

The bright blue light narrowed, Six evidently squinting his eyes in suspicion as if she'd gone crazy. "You're telling me that someone is capable of surviving the Boundary? The place of infinite Seithr, where the Black Beast came from? That Boundary? Are you going to tell me that Terumi will come back and start a non-profit charity next?"

The clairvoyant's body racked slightly with a silent laughter, the most emotion she'd shown in a while. She couldn't lie and say that his snappiness wasn't amusing when he wasn't apparently holding back the urge to freeze her solid. "Come now, Six. Let's not be unrealistic here."

Despite the sheer amount of palpable irony, the words died in Six's throat, in contrast to the indifference Four had shown to...well, just about everything. Surviving the Boundary...was that truly possible? He did suppose if anyone was capable of it, it was Nine. And as much as he preferred not to admit, Four had yet to lead astray with her visions.

The light didn't go away completely, but it was clear her strategy was working. "...Where?"

Now this was getting interesting. Four hummed to herself in focus, peering into the future where she saw Nine again. The veils she wore hid her visions from his sight. "...About 85 years into the future, give or take. You could potentially make it there if you took your own chance in the Boundary."

Six could only fall silent. So Nine really was out there? But so far into the future. Attempting to go through the Boundary did seem like his only real chance, but that chance was so miniscule, even for him. Even if he did make it out in one piece, there was no guarantee he'd even make it to where he needs to go.

Four sensed his hesitation, capitalizing on it to shake his resolve as much as possible. "Surely you can pull this off, can't you? You're a Great Sage yourself, one of the youngest to ever do it. Such a painful loss you had to go through...Jubei came and swooped her up before you could get the chance to tell her how you feel, they get married, have a child, only for her to be taken away. Do you not see that as an injustice?"

"I-..." Six turned his head away, the feelings he'd tried to hide deep down for years at this point rising to the surface. His mind played back the promise he'd made to himself all that time ago now, when he'd become Nine's equal, when he'd finally proven himself to her and the rest of Ishana. When the hat was put on his head for the first time.

'Whatever happens, no matter what I need to do, I'll do it. I'd freeze the sun over if it meant keeping her dream alive.'

Four knew she was inside his head now. She was almost out of the woods. "If she's sent so far in time, now's your perfect chance. You can finally make up for such tragedy. You truly deserved better, Six, and you can get it. All you have to do is take that leap of faith forward. That is what people do for love, is it not?"

It didn't take long after that to figure out what she was trying to do. She'd gone into self-preservation mode. Both of them were acutely aware of their power dynamic. If Six was more of the brutish type he could easily dispatch the other Sage. Instead, he simply turned on his heel, his back facing Four now.

“You don’t know me as well as you think you do, Four. You're in no position to lecture me on loss. You’ve never experienced it for yourself. That feeling truly only comes when what you’ve lost is something you love more than yourself. I’m rather doubtful that someone like that comes to mind for you.”

The frost and crystals that had begun to permeate the room disappeared in a flash of blue light. There was nothing more for him to say, but plenty to think about. "Next time we see each other again, you're going to pay for all the blood that rests on your hands. There's a price for every sin, sloth included."

With that final warning, he warped away. Now alone, Four allowed herself a small, yet excited smile. She could see it; he was about to do something. Jump into the cauldron? Set off to simply survive the march of time? She couldn't see it, nor what he intended to do when they met. There was only one thing she was truly sure of.

"I look forward to it...Nivalis."

~~~

The sixth of the Great Sages found himself at the Cauldron hidden deep beneath Ishana. His face had gone back to normal staring into the gateway as he pondered Four's words...and the possibility that Nine was waiting on the other side.

Could he really pull something like that off? Swim through an endless abyss full of nothing but Seithr? It sounded absolutely ludicrous, but Four had confirmed it was possible. He didn't have a reason to doubt it. She was many things, but dishonest had never been one of them for as long as he'd known her.

"I do hope you aren't thinking of actually jumping. It'd be a terrible waste to die attempting such a fool's errand."

Six's head perked up suddenly, having been shaken out of his thoughts. He'd been caught red-handed. And by a very familiar voice, no less. The girlish, posh voice was one that someone didn't simply forget.

"Surely you have much more valuable uses of your time than to stare into that old thing. Such thoughts of attempting Boundary travel in the first place should be beneath someone of your stature."

Six sighed forlornly, the whirlwind in his mind was clear as day for anyone to see. "It's Four...she told me-"

"She told you that Nine is still out there, isn't she?"

He properly turned around now to face Rachel, his eyes widened. "How did you...?"

The vampire allowed herself a small, smug giggle. "I do happen to have a few tricks of my own."

Vague as ever, he noticed. He knew it'd be a waste of time to try and get her to elaborate. He looked back between her and the Cauldron a few times before his gaze landed on her once more.

"If it's really true...then what do you think I should do?"

Rachel closed her eyes at the thought, seeming to think, or at least pretending to as her smile disappeared.

"Must you need me to tell you everything? Why you're one of the Great Sages, for crying out loud. The greatest cryomancer this world has ever seen. Surely you can figure out the answer on your own."

She stopped though for a moment, humming in thought. "...Although I suppose an emotion such as love can indeed cloud the mind. What do you currently believe to be the correct course of action?"

That stuck out to him. The feelings he had for Nine were indeed impairing his better judgment. He had Four to thank for that. He needed to take a step back and truly think about what he should do.

Terumi...the one responsible for everything. It was his fault that she, Trinity, and Hakumen were unjustly taken from him. It was him that needed to pay, however he didn't know if and when he would ever pop up again.

His mind started racing. Confronting the true culprit should be priority number one, but he didn't know where, or specifically when to start. He needed a reliable way to last long enough, but what? Rachel did have a point, his ice magic was second to none, surely he could-

That's it...

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Rachel's voice once more, apparently he'd been silent for longer than he anticipated. "Six? Earth to Six. Are you even paying attention?"

He shook his head, snapping back to reality and recollecting himself. "O-Oh, yes. Sorry, Miss Rachel."

"Perhaps by chance you were taking my words to heart and came up with the solution?"

For the first time since Nine had been banished to the Boundary, Six allowed himself a smile, though small it may have been. He nodded in confirmation. "Yes, I have."

He vanished in a flash of light as he teleported away, only to come back before Rachel could fully register that he'd left a few seconds later. In his hands was a glass ball that he held out for her to take. The ball looked and felt a bit comically large in her tiny, pale hands.

"I'm going into hiding, use that whenever you need to find me again. I'll be waiting." With that Six began making his way out of the cathedral, leaving Rachel alone with her new artifact. The magic she sensed inside had his fingerprints all over it, he definitely made it himself. For what purpose originally, she couldn't tell, but now it was for her to have.

Her bright crimson eyes peered deep into the ball, trying to look past the fog inside that was preventing the transparency it should have. It cleared up as she looked into it, showing her Six walking outside and into Ishana's town square.

So that's what it was...

~~~

There was one more person to find before he could enact his plan. He left the larger city of Ishana and into the forest surrounding the city. There wasn't much so this wouldn't be hard. After some walking, he came to a stop.

"So, how much longer do you plan on just standing there?"

A familiar figure came out from the shadows, a rather short one, though one that Six damn well knew not to take lightly, at least if it was an enemy.

"You've been gettin' better, kid. Color me impressed."

"Well, I had the privilege of learning from many of the best."

He recognized the look on Jubei's face. Behind the friendly attitude, he was just as devastated over their current circumstances as he was.

"Hey, about Nine, I..."

"Just save it, Six." Jubei's mood immediately dropped at the mention of Nine. At this point he just felt...done. Done with the loss, done with the pity, no matter how genuine it might've been.

"No, I'm not here to offer my condolences. I'm sure you already have enough of those to go around. I need to give you something."

"Give me something? What might that be?"

Six had already given his enchanted tracking ball to Rachel, so the next thing to give was a test tube with a crimson liquid inside.

"Use this when the time's right, just pour it onto the ground and it'll lead you right to me, at least when you're close enough."

"Lead to you?" The beastkin was understandably confused. "Where are you headin' off to now, kid?"

"You'll find out eventually. Rachel will know what to do. Just...promise me something. Take good care of that kid for me, alright? She's all we got left of Nine. I'd do it myself, but...it was you she chose."

He had to hold back his tongue, refraining from saying anything more out of jealousy, or perhaps even animosity. He didn't want any of the latter to be between him and Jubei. He had respect for everything he'd done, both for him and the world at large. Jealous? Well who wouldn't be jealous of the person who'd stolen the only person they'd fallen for away, but he couldn't fault Jubei for his own shortcoming of taking the leap. He turned around and started making his way back to Ishana to make the last of his preparations.

Jubei's eye widened to double its normal size as he put two and two together. He stared blankly at his comrade's back as he returned to the city, emotions inside him conflicting left and right at the revelation. A bit of shock, a lot of intrigue, a bit of concern, a bit of guilt.

"Wait, kid, I-..."

The words seemed to completely leave Jubei as Six stopped looked back at him.

"Don't feel bad about it, you just did what I couldn't do myself. All I want you to do is keep that promise."

There were so many things Jubei wanted to say. He wanted to defend himself, he wanted to console Six, perhaps apologize to him. His throat clenched up, and there was only one thing he could muster up the strength to say.

"...I promise."

"Then we're even." The Sage turned back around toward Ishana before his emotions started running too high. Before his resolve could waver. It couldn't, not now.

"Wake me when you need me."

[apatheticcrossovers]

Awkward Conversations Over Tea

Fandoms: Danganronpa, Pico's School

Ships: Alucard (Pico's School)/Celestia Ludenberg (Danganronpa)

Characters: Alucard (Pico's School), Celestia Ludenberg (Danganronpa)

Tw: None

Summary: Alucard, despite being from America, was accepted as an exchange student into Hope's Peak Academy as the 'Ultimate Telekenetic', which is a pretty easy title to earn, seeing as he's the only high schooler with telekinetics. Celestia Ludenberg sees him as more than just his talent though, or at least, she wants to...

Link to AO3 fic

A killing game. That seemed to line up with Alucard’s luck pretty well.

He had only gone to the school cause it was apparently pretty high state, and invite only. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the reason for being invited, being told he was the “Ultimate Telekinetic”, lining up with how Ultimates are talents you’re the best of the best at, he wouldn’t be surprised if they just invited him to brag about having a telekinetic at that school. If only they knew how he actually got his powers.

But a killing game, that was the last thing he ever wanted. At least his classmates weren’t so bad, they didn’t bother him too much about his telekinesis, or his purplish-blue skin. He wasn’t ready to tell a bunch of strangers why exactly his skin wasn’t a normal color.

Alucard sat in the cafeteria by himself, his face resting in his hand as his elbow rested on the table. There wasn’t exactly much to do around here other than sit and wait, and maybe talk to the other contestants, but he didn’t want to talk to them right now, he still wasn’t sure how trustworthy any of them were, in a situation like this, they probably didn’t trust him either.

“Excuse me, Alucard was it? Do you mind if I sit with you?” Alucard looked up at the gothic girl before him, a cup of tea in her hands as she stared at him. Alucard sat up straight and nodded, letting out a sigh. Celestia Ludenberg, or ‘Celeste’ as she said to call her, the Ultimate Gambler, was a peculiar person, and he thought she’d want nothing to do with him.

“Uh… Yeah, sure, do whatever you want, I don’t care.” Alucard tried to make his voice sound cold and uninterested in her, the usual facade he put up around other people. Celeste sat down across from him, placing her cup of tea in front of herself. She didn’t seem bothered by his cold exterior or facade. “There are kinda, other tables though,” He secretly hoped that wasn’t too rude of him, he did think she was really cool, but he couldn’t just let his facade fall just for some pretty girl.

“Well, yes, there are, but I thought we could have a little chat, you and I, Alucard.” Celeste took a sip of her tea, Closing her eyes for a moment as she smiled at Alucard. Alucard perked up slightly as she spoke, crossing his arms as he faked a scowl.

“This better be good, Celeste.”

“Oh, don’t be so aggressive with me, I promise you, my intentions are nothing but kind.” She said, putting a hand to her chest as if she was offended by his coldness. What was worse was that Alucard couldn’t tell if she was being genuine, or if she was just faking the emotion, it’s hard to tell when someone has basically mastered a poker face, who knows what other faces she’s mastered as well? “... We’re not so different, you and I…” Alucard perked up slightly, a bit of curiosity in his eyes.

“What the hell are you on about, Ludenberg?”

“Again with the hostility? Is how everyone from America acts?” Celeste joked with him, putting a hand to her mouth as she giggled. Alucard could feel his heart flutter at the sound, clearing his throat slightly as he adjusted in his seat, crossing his arms. Shit, he could not let himself fall in love with this chick, she was way out of his league, she was an actual Ultimate, one with an actual talent, he was just accepted out of luck basically. “I kid, I kid, I just wanted to tease you~.”

Alucard could feel his face heating slightly, resting his hand against his cheek as he tried his best to keep a scowl. He hoped his blush wouldn’t be obvious through his purple-tinted skin. “I just meant, well, we’re both gothic, we both have quite cold exteriors-” Celeste said with a smile, causing Alucard to let out a scoff.

“And? That’s like, two things…”

“My, such a charmer~” Celeste let out another chuckle as she teased Alucard again, resting her chin on her hands. Yet somehow, she sounded genuine … she had to be really good at faking emotions, that was the only explanation for her kindness towards Alucard. “Well, I also like your name, It’s got quite the nice ring to it, Alucard~” Alucard could feel his face heating up more, looking away from her. She was just so pretty, and she had such an enchantment, and…

Alucard felt like he was falling right into the palm of her hand. “Um… Th-thank you…” He sounded awkward, he wasn’t used to accepting compliments from people, or having conversations with them without them mentioning his telekinesis within the first minute, it was odd but, it was nice… “Celestia Ludenberg is a pretty name, I guess…” he felt as if the compliment was warranted, sense she complimented him.

“Why thank you Alucard, but, um…” Alucard could see the wheels in Celeste’s head turning, as if she was trying to figure out what she wanted to say, a light blush crossed her face before she shook her head, looking at him with a genuine smile. “Oh never mind…”

“What is it?”

“Oh no, it wasn’t anything important…” Celeste waved her hand dismissively, taking another sip of her tea. Alucard didn’t expect a woman like her to act so, nervous, but hey, it was a killing game after all, maybe she was afraid he’d kill her when she least expected it… Alucard felt horrible now, as if he was making things awkward.

“I… think I’m gonna get going…” Alucard said, standing up slightly as he started to walk away, letting out a sigh. Celeste looked up at him with wide eyes, her smile falling to a monotone stare.

“Oh, um, a-alright… I guess, I’ll see you later then, hopefully…”

“... yeah, see you later.” Alucard quickly left the dining hall, leaving Celeste alone with her thoughts.

Once she was sure he was gone, she slammed her fist down on the table, causing some of her tea to spill out of the cups. “Dammit Taeko, you fucking blew it...” She covered her face in embarrassment as she leaned down on the table, letting out a shaky breath. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous when talking to him, she couldn’t even think about him without her heart fluttering and her words becoming impossible to get out. “Just calm down, Celeste, I’m sure you’ll do better next time.” She let out a nervous sigh as she hugged herself, leaning back in her chair.

She couldn’t get that boy out of her head, he was so odd in every way, and yet, he was so, perfect for her, in every way…

She hoped they could both escape this killing game, together…

[dreamlandsystem]

vent below (sorry!)

so our host told our abuser about us having a dissociative disorder and being a system.

we had issues in the past with our host reconciling and reconnecting with our abuser despite not being aware of the trauma we’ve suffered, and despite other headmates voicing their concerns and stating that they want nothing at all to do with him.

so it just hurts knowing that after all the trust, communication, and connection we’ve built over the past year, our host still doesn’t respect or understand us. alucard is inconsolable. a big part of bats hope was knowing that, even though the host reconciled with our abuser, at least he didn’t know about the existence of the rest of us.

well, now he does.

we’re heartbroken about it, tbh. there’s been this cold lump of dread sitting in our belly ever since the rest of us found out what parker did. i get that it was sort of at gigi’s behest, and we’re upset with both of them!

but gemma and gerard are a persecutor. they often antagonize and make things worse for us. i thought parker would know better than to follow their advice?? but i guess not???

idk it’s just been so hard. and to make matters worse, parker told our abuser that we’re going to florida (where much of our family, including our abuser lives) for christmas and asked if they could meet up or see each other!!! like what the actual fuck? why the hell would they do something like that, especially when our mom has already assured us she wouldn’t tell our abuser we were coming down in order to protect us! it kinda feels like our host is purposely foiling our healing efforts and i don’t like or approve of this at all.

whatever. at the end of the day we might just have to ask kiki to help us keep parker from the front while we’re in florida. there’s NO WAY IN HELL i’m letting my system get close to our abuser. no fucking way.

sorry about this vent. idk what to do. and we know that we have a sideblog specifically for journaling/trauma stuff but parker never checks that blog and idk… i kinda want them to see this. is that mean of me?

well it was mean of them to tell our abuser about our system knowing full well that the rest of us want nothing to do with him. it really sucks being in a system sometimes :(

[alucarddear]

@anotherrunawaytrain hell, yeah. Here are 3 recs I'm really vibing with lately. I have to stop myself from adding more lol.

First time:

Remember once I told you about how, before I heard it from your mouth, my name would always hit my ears as such an awful sound?

The first time that you kissed me, I drank dry the river Lethe. The Liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same.

Some part of me must have died the first time that you called me baby. And some part of me came alive the first time that you called me baby.

Whatever keeps you around, whatever keeps you around.

It may sound sweet, but it's really about being in limbo. Alive yet doomed, over and over.

Let’s interpret it tragically in Alucard x human s/o context:

Drinking from the river Lethe is meant to remove your memories... and it is followed by saying the filthy Liffey water would've been softer.

I choose to interpret it as their first kiss made Alucard forget everything as if he drank water from Lethe. The filthy Liffey water would've been less damaging than the eventual doom of, well, human s/o will die and it isn't good for him at all to fall in love. And yet, here they are, in the cycle, in the throes, that will no doubt end badly. But for now, whatever keeps s/o around...

Francesca:

Do you think I'd give up, that this might've shook the love from me? Or that I was on the brink? How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily?

Now that it's done, there's not one thing that I would change. My life was a storm since I was born; how could I fear any hurricane?

If someone asked me at the end, I'd tell them put me back in it. Darling, I would do it again. If I could hold you for a minute, darling, I'd go through it again.

Imagine Lust, the second circle of hell (Dante's inferno), where souls overcome by lust are punished, swept up in a never-ending hurricane. He states that he would go through it again and again if he could be with his darling for even just a minute.

It's tragic but gives me lonely season Lulu starved for love, all or nothing type of vibe. Especially with how hard life had been for him (my life was a storm since I was born, how could I fear any hurricane?). Once he finds the one, he will go through a hurricane to keep them.

Sunlight:

I had been lost to you, sunlight. I flew like a moth to you, sunlight. Your love is sunlight.

Each day you rise with me, know that I would gladly be the Icarus to your certainty, oh, my sunlight.

Strap the wing to me, death trap clad happily. With wax melted, I'd meet the sea under sunlight.

Icarus flew too close to the sun and fell to his death as the wax holding his wings together melted.

I imagine Lulu would go this far to get closer to his beloved sunlight. Again with the tragedy of an immortal being falling for a human who will soon die.

It’s also quite the image to think about a vampire’s beloved being like the sunlight… bad for him (though we know he doesn’t burn in the sun as he’s a dhampir, but still, the imagery!)

These are quite dramatic, but makes for really good imaginings.

Honourable mentions:

Movement (imagine a dancer s/o being admired this way)

Wasteland baby (end of the world, but they are together so everything is fine)

and so many more, I can't right now.

omg yes the new hozier album has filled me so many adrian thoughts

Right? It's obvious to any Hozier fan, but I take a lot of inspiration from his music because the purity and gentleness of his idea of love is very Alucard vibes imo. But on the flip side, there is also a rawness to it and it can very easily be destructive. Like an all or nothing quality... the violence of it all.

[skvaderarts]

Devil May Cry OC Week Day 1!

Happy first day of @dmc-oc-week! I’m so excited for this!

So I hope this isn’t too annoying, but a lot of the stuff about my OC relates to the 120 Post DMC5 Nero and V as brothers fic that I’ve been writing for the last year (Help I can’t stop), so I have yet to reveal a lot of the stuff about him. I seriously hope that at least one of you likes him, though! The artwork is by the always amazing @gaaebolg​, and I’ll have more sometime in the future, so stay tuned!

Also, I’m sorry for how long this post is. I’ve been creating things for this OC for the better part of two years now, so I’ve just got a lot of pent up excitement to get through. If at least one of you like him, then it’s a success!

Now then... SIRRUS

General Information:

Name: Sirrus (sear-us not Cyrus)

Age: Nope. He’s not saying. How rude of you to ask! Looks 21-25 though.

Eyes: Very light gray

Height: 6″ 5′

Build: Thin. He basically never eats anything. But he likes to cook (mostly for V and Nero) and he drinks sometime. And it’s normally wine. he doesn’t eat his own cooking, though. Everyone is freaked out by this.

Species: That’s tricky. Very tricky. He’s technically three different things at once due to his complicated parental lineage, and it causes him nothing but suffering. I may reveal what he truly is later this week if people actually care that he exists barely concealed intense crying. As a result of this, he had one hell of a power set, although many of his powers clash in a sort of MHA Todoroki sort of way. He’s not very pleased by this. The power is great and all, but it literally gives him a miserable migraine sometimes.

Personality: Sardonic, sarcastic, linguistically unapproachable at times due to his tendency to be very formal in an old fashioned, bitingly straight to the point, occasionally cripplingly brooding, and internally melodramatic. His entire internal monologue is just him chastising himself for every breath that he takes or him thinking he’s a total badass. He has no in-between. If left alone, he won’t make it off the couch due to a healthy dose of self-loathing. Thankfully he can’t become drunk. But he still tries. Think Tom Cruse Lestat meets Dorian Grey meets Alucard from the Castlevania Netflix anime. He likes to make dry, deadpan jokes, but he also knows how to read the room. He’s been around long enough to have developed that skill. But despite his desire to be left alone and work in isolation, he finds himself around the crew more than he might like to understand. He tries to be supportive to those around him, though he’s fully self aware of the fact that he’s not that great with it.

Preferences: Dark rooms, good food, better wine, even better conversations, and fantastically showboat filled fights. And not so subtly spoiling V with unsolicited but much appreciated gifts and luxuries.

Dislikes: Mostly his father and bullshit in general. Which is a large reason he doesn't like his father. Also, people who abuse others or power for self gain. So again, his father. I’m noticing a reoccurring theme here. It’s his mom’s fault, too.

Relationships: He knows the cast due to being sent to investigate the events of the fic I was writing, and from there he hangs around and offers to help in any way that he can. He’s on good terms with basically everyone, but later becomes very friendly with V and they have a frankly adorable relationship that I’m 10000% sure he wishes were more than just a friendship but he’s just too shy and sure he’d be rejected to ask. He and various members of the cast have some fun banter with one another, though, and he’s more or less free to come and go as he wishes. He also may or may have not gotten V slightly drunk off of blood wine once. It’s complicated.

Abilities: Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy. Just kidding. in addition to the standard things like quick movement, increased durability and stamina, and some other things I’ve yet to reveal, Sirrus has a vaguely explained light ability that forces a lot of very powerful demons to recoil at the sight of it. He can also wield fire, but in a localized state, and the more he allows it to spread, the harder it is to control. The more localized and small the fire area is, the hotter he can make it burn, all the way up to white flame is he absolutely needs to. It’s very draining, however, as the usage of such power is in direct conflict with what he is. Far too much light for his tastes. But, at the very same time he, the other portion of what he is makes the light within him stronger. He’s a living contradiction, and yes, he totally hates it.

Weapon: He possesses a swept hilt rapier called “Kilnsbane” forged from a combination of Damascus Steel and meteorite. It earned it’s name for it’s ability to be coated in intense heat as a veiacle for his powers (it’s easier to control that way) and from the shards of dust that speckle the blade. The blade is slightly longer than average, reaching about a meter in length. It’s also sharp on both edges of the blade like a razor. It’s not as sharp as something like Yamato, but it’s exceptionally durable, kinda like the difference between Vibranium and Adamantium. Nico is going to have a field day with that.

Interesting fact: Due to two divorces on the part of his father, he is technically part of two powerful families. One by blood, and the other as a sort of honorary son after he sided with them over an important domestic dispute against his father’s wishes. if you’d like to know more, let me know!

Notes: I’d tell you more, but so many things about him are showed in mystery by nature, so if I tell you (yet) what some of these details are, I’ll spoil the surprises. And also, if your reading my fics, I don’t want to spoil anything about his roll in the story by telling you entirely who and what he is. His last name is actually a spoiler in of it’s self, so you can’t know it just yet!

So... what do you think?! I would so love for someone, ANYONE to give me feedback or just ask me more about him! It would be so exciting to see someone on Tumblr go down that road with me :D thanks for reading this! I look forward to tomorrow!

[ddarker-dreams]

Icy Wind. Yan Alucard x Reader

Warnings: Isolation and typical yandere elements. Word count: 1.3k. Note: this is my secret santa gift for @monstrouslyobsessed​!! i was excited to see that you liked hellsing ultimate... your taste is immaculate... anyways, i really hope that you enjoy your gift! <333333

You long for a fulfilling night of sleep.

To be able and close your eyes when the moon shines above, uninhibited by troubles, no longer plagued by all-consuming anxiety. It is but a simple request, you believe. There were days where for hours on end you’d bargain for more than that. Freedom used to be the primary objective, what you believed to be your only salvation, a possibility never within reach. No longer do you aim for the stars and beyond. You’ve had to settle for what’s in front of you, a realistic goal such as a good night’s rest, and even then you’re denied it. 

Blades of grass brush against your bare feet, a winter chill reducing your body to a shivering mess. Teeth chattering and body bunched over, your arms wrap around your torso in a pitiful attempt to preserve heat. It makes logical sense to return inside the manor. At least then you could sit by the fireplace to ward off the cold. Whether it’s foolishness or out of malice towards him, you’ve elected to stay out here, holding nothing but contempt for the mansion walls that serve as your prison.

Another gust of wind whistles by, biting your flushed cheeks. Barren tree branches, overgrown thickets, and dry leaves rustle underneath the wind’s intensity. Maybe it would be best to go back inside, you consider. Still, the thought of proving Alucard right is too strong a blow to your pride to concede yet. It’s a childish thing you’re doing -- even you can acknowledge that -- but what else do you have, other than to spite your captor? 

He had instigated this. Tempting you by temporarily removing the locks in the rickety mansion that you’ve been forced to occupy. What had started as a late-night walk to fend off your insomnia escalated into you confronting him, belittling his possessive nature, and demanding a real opportunity at freedom. Much to your surprise and his amusement, he had relented. Or at least on a surface level. Alucard himself had swung the doors wide open, presenting you with an opportunity for time outside. 

Which leads to your current predicament. 

Traversing the surrounding woods at night would be a nightmare, so you’ve been passing this time outside by sitting on a moss-covered bench. The initial high from being outdoors has worn off, replaced with frigid temperatures cutting deep into your bones. You wonder if Alucard would allow you to freeze to death. Or would he intervene at the least possible second, the curse of being his lover never coming to an end. Damn him. 

“So you intend to keep up this stubborn act,” a deep voice drawls, the hairs on the back of your neck standing. “Should I be impressed or insulted?” 

When a person out of sight is speaking, it’s a natural response to search for where they stand. You’ve learned that this rarely works with Alucard. His voice reverberates from every conceivable location, engulfing and drowning you, a testament to his inorganic disposition. 

“Do with it what you will.” Your response doesn’t sound as malicious as you wanted, weakened by your deteriorating state. It looks like your earlier guess of Alucard interfering only when your life is in danger turned out to be true. Even now, when facing an icy demise, you refuse to beg for help. He can go to hell for all I care, you think. If even hell would muster the courage to try and chain him down.

Alucard’s voice hums, a deep, guttural sound. “Was it something I said?” 

Clutching your knees to your chest, you huddle together even tighter for warmth. To narrow Alucard’s grievances against you down to a single statement is impossible. He’s always had a penchant for working you up, now is no different. The wintery weather seems to have gotten worse. Every time you manage to exhale, a white cloud appears in front of your face, a further testament to the extreme temperature. 

“Let’s go with that.” You rub your shaking hands together and blow air onto them.

“Strange, I thought I was doing you a favor,” Alucard’s voice swirls around you like the wind. “You did say that you wanted to go out if memory serves.” 

Really? He’s out here to poke fun at you? It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but the audacity he displays is never short of amazing. Even working up an emotional response like frustration is too much at this point. Your entire body is working overtime to hold onto life. Ah, that’s strange, you think. The way your ears are ringing, an eerie, high pitched noise. Black dots appear and disappear, obscuring your vision. It’s light. Everything feels so, terribly light. 

You’re not sure what happens next. 

When you wake, the setting is vastly different from where you had just been. There’s warmth, that’s the first thing you notice, coming from different sources. Blankets on top of your person and a roaring fireplace. So he brought you back to your room. Groaning, you wince at how your head pounds violently, not having the necessary strength to even lift your head.

“Next time, I’d prefer it if you let me die.” 

There’s no tangible evidence that Alucard is nearby, but you still say the words, uncaring if he hears them or not. 

“It’d be a pitiful death,” comes his response. “Why not ask for a more memorable one?” 

You sigh, knowing that answering the question will lead to more provocative remarks, but still do it anyway. “Are you telling me you’d grant it?” 

“I never said that.” 

“Figures.” 

Exhaustion weighs heavy on your weary soul. Maybe now you’ll be granted the mercy of a good night’s rest, though you try not to get your hopes up. You see Alucard beginning to materialize into a physical form, the sight nothing new, yet you’ve never been able to get used to it. Glimmers of midnight black and deep crimson create a shadow reminiscent of a human man. Flesh forms, filling out over bone, pallid in its coloration. His typical attire of blood-colored fabrics flows into creation around his person before he finally towers over you by your bedside. Inhuman eyes pierce through your weakened form, holding no flickers of humanity. 

A monster. 

“And here I thought you might thank your savior for saving you from an early death,” Alucard’s voice is amused, despite the dark context. “Instead, I find you glaring at me.” 

“For good reason.” You bring the blanket over your head, not wanting to see him any longer, irritation growing. Why can’t he just leave you alone? It’s a question that, when asked, serves only to perturb you further. Alucard claims each time that your little interactions are of great importance to him. Whatever that means, you think. 

“You’re the only human I’ve seen fit to have pity on,” he reminds, making you frown. “Thousands have begged for what you so easily dismiss.” 

Indignant, you pull the blanket down, blood boiling at his inflaming comments. “Like any of that is my fault. What did you expect me to do? Praise you to the high heavens for keeping me far away from any other living being?” 

He’s smiling at your outburst as if it were an entertaining show. It’s too late, but you realize this is exactly what he wanted, to see you getting all worked up over his purposefully upsetting words. Sighing in defeat, you lay back down on the mattress and squeeze your eyes shut, fully intending to ignore anything else he sees fit to say. If he wants to play dirty, then so be it. 

Alucard reaches his gloved hand out to your face, brushing his knuckles against your cheek, displaying a gentleness you thought impossible from a demon like him. It’s a featherlight touch that leaves goosebumps in its wake. Almost as if your body was attempting to reject it, aware of the heinous crimes those very hands have committed. 

“Rest well, my sweet little [First].” 

[the-masxuerade]

The duo walked over to the balcony, the lights of Seattle at night making a scenic canvas for a one-on-one conversation. Jack let out a slightly annoyed sigh and, in that moment, Alucard would be able to spot something of note in his mouth. Fangs. Looks like the PI was a vampire as well. That said, judging by his demeanor, he seemed to be a detective first and a vampire second.

"Listen, Al." He said "Mind if I call you Al? There are two reasons we're out here. One, those bodies are going to hit rapid decomposition soon and that tends to stink up the joint. Two, we need to discuss something. Now, I ain't gonna say you shouldn't have given those goons final death. They were Sabbat. Vampire terrorists, essentially. By all accounts, they had to go. The problem is the lack of tact. Luckily, you only perforated them, so it can still be spun as an act of gang violence or something, but you're skirting a line." The detective took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up, taking a drag. It took quite a while for him to re-learn how to do that, being a walking corpse and all. "I don't know how you do things in jolly old England" He continued "But, here in the states, not all bloodsuckers are supremist hoods like the guys you just offed. Some just want to live their unlives the best they can. True, they still need to feed, but that doesn't necessarily mean draining someone dry or to feed exclusively off of humans. Hell, I usually drink from bags. I digress. Point is, we got our own laws and guidelines to make sure a balance is kept and we're not hunted to extinction. Rule one, The Masquerade, says our kind is meant to be a tall tale and nothing more. What I'm asking is to do as the romans while in Rome, if you get my meaning."

@praeteritus-memories continued

"They were dead from the beginning, if you want to get technical." the other snarked, finding a symbol painted onto one of the arms like a tattoo. The Sword of Caine. The Sabbat. Of course it was The Sabbat. Only those boobs would be bold enough to piss off both The Second Inquisition AND Hellsing.

"Jack Bonetti, Private Investigator." He introduced himself as he moved toward the balcony "I think some fresh night air is in order. Let's talk, friend." Though his tone was cordial, the look in his eyes was like that of an upset parent who's kid was caught breaking a window. Less a request and more a demand.

[macgyvertape]

Castlevania kinda had a pacing problem

spoilers for all of Netflix’s Castlevania. I haven’t seen much analysis for the show on tumblr, im honestly curious if discussions I had with irl friends mirror what fandom talks about

tldr: Castlevania seems inconsistently paced from season to season, and within season as well, leads to a lot of characters motivations feeling unclear so characters repeatedly explain why they are doing something while they’re doing it

overview of the seasons:

S1 I know somewhat of a test for Netflix but it has good main trio character establishment and sets the scale of the conflict

s2: pretty complete emotional arc for most characters and resolves the plot of killing Dracula while setting up additional characters to continue the story. Isaac, Hector, Carmilla all established with the audience as characters whose story would continue

honestly I would bet this is the most popular season

S3: s2 did a bit of worldbuilding, but this season really fleshed out the world with both a wide range of locations and exploring the question of “what now, Dracula is dead but vampires and night creatures remain”.

There were basically 4 plot threads: 1) Sypha/Trevor investigating the cult & Saint Germain; 2) Hector & Carmilla (also introducing Lenore, Striga, Morana); 3) Isaac’s journey of revenge & self discovery; 4) Alucard sits around the castle and is betrayed.

overall characters roughly feel like they are in the same place if not worse. A big criticism I saw at the time, which hold up after rewatching this before s4 is nothing felt resolved for the main characters

I would say this season is where the pacing issues start to become apparent, juggling 4 plot threads that lack a central theme or even mutual character connection. If there was a central theme it would be “humans are awful to each other”. The Judge doing Hot Fuzz style murders, The Wizard in the tower, Sumi & Taka

S4: it starts with the same 4 plot threads, though upfront it is made clear that the plot theme is “people are trying to resurrect Dracula”, and the progression of the plot works to resolve unrelated plot threads until the main trio reunites for the boss fights. To me and my friends watching it was obvious that the show would reunite the main trio, the question was how and how far into the run time.

Season 4 is why I’m writing this essay, for the past 2 days I’ve been like, yeah that character sure explained their motives repeatedly maybe with some philosophical discussion, but it’s just such a weird place considering where they were in s3

Alucard’s arc:

Where he was left in season 3, it was after killing people he had trusted in self defense and impaling their corpses. It was clearly meant to parallel Dracula’s dislike of humanity. However overall his character lacked a proactive motivating force.

Honestly the most interesting thing I found in s3 was Alucard clearly misses Sypha and Trevor, however they don’t miss him or refer to him

One reason Sumi & Taka betray Alucard is for the secrets and power of Castlevania. After inviting the village including St Germain who Alucard was warned of into the Castle, Alucard makes 0 effort to secure anything, not even his personal childhood room. Guess he really learned nothing

Discussing St Germain, I think it’s funny that they had a several minute flashback sequence for his lost girlfriend (who doesn’t have a name or a voice actor), to remind the viewer of who he is, and to justify how he’s suddenly back and down for murder.

In s4 there is the call to help the village, and the walk back to the castle is a montage of Alucard opening up to Greta and becoming friendly literally overnight. He laughs off the impaling, and basically all of the darker things he went through in season 3, which has me asking what was the point of his season 3 arc then? 

Honestly writing this I realize the biggest parallel he has with Dracula is the call to action from a bold woman with a dramatic entrance speech which then leads to a romance

Isaac’s arc:

in s3, with all the other themes of “humanity sucks” I was always unsure if the townspeople were meant to appear irrational while attacking a larger force instead of letting him pass through an leave, or him not caring about how he’s provoking them is meant to show his insanity

ive seen the discussion elsewhere, curious about the Discourse here

is s4 Isaac has the whole monologue about how he now has agency but him gaining that agency was his s3 arc. In s4 he’s already at the point of accepting it. By the end of s4 he’s one of those who comes the furthest from his first character appearance to his last.

s4e5 where of Isaac attacking Carmilla in Isaac’s 2nd appearance had him resolving like 4 plot threads at once (Carmilla, Striga& Morana, Hector, and Isaac himself).

but i do wonder if Trevor, Sypha, or Alucard even know any of these people exist. I think not

I was honestly confused if I missed a scene from his dialogue about building something and what is inherent nature, to “My plan has evolved, my plan is now conquest” because he only conquests the one castle and the rest is left unclear

Upon rewatch the connection there is “killing [the wizard] felt just ... I liked that feeling”, so the show says that Isaac in the end attacked Carmilla for the sake of justice and not revenge.

Isaac in his last conversation expresses the theme of s4 “build something new on these old bones, where people can live for the future”

however, his arc honestly feel scenes were cut, and then dialogue was written around it. He’s the only living character who doesn’t show up in the epilogue and the sentient night creature “what if I could empty hell” dialogue was some of the most interesting worldbuilding. Night creatures with sentience and possibility of regaining memories!!!!

The Council of Sisters & Hector’s arc:

oh I’ve already seen s4 discourse about Lenore/Hector while searching for character analysis, a chunk of it seems to be rationalizing the absolute difference between how s3 ended with these characters and s4. It was extremely confusing for me and my friends; wondering if 1) was Hector showing more emotional intelligence than before and putting on a facade to cover up hatred? Nope 2) did more time pass than 6 weeks for there to be some kind stockholm syndrome? No, Hector seems fine to let Lenore kill herself

The slave control ring: played up in the climax of s3 and easily solved s4. s3 Lenore says if he tries to harm them, flee, or take it off it would cause crippling pain, in s4 Hector just easily cuts off his own finger.

for a control ring that they take time to show a version being on the Rebus, it doesn’t do much controlling of Hector

also guess the definition of “do harm” just refers to direct action

Lenore in s4: has no purpose in conquest, has that useless remarked on by multiple characters, is imprisoned, then kills herself after a genre aware philosophical discussion. This essay is long enough, but what the fuck happened to this character who ended s3 clearly physically and sexually abusive? Seriously this was one of the biggest writing changes to the point where she was treating Hector as an equal. Compare her last words in s3 “shh the real people [vampires] are talking”. The change in the relationship is actually something I would have taken being shown, or atleast told of what exactly caused this change other than the vague “you adopted him”

Striga&Morana get the best arc of the Council. 3 scenes: the tent argument, Daybreak armor fight & argument resolution, declaration of feelings and turning away. You could argue Castlevania is plot to be connective tissue between fight scenes, but for all the dialogue about human resistance in different seasons it was nice to see it. Overall the scenes were short but had a lot of showing what their relationship is not just telling,

unlike Carmilla. For as much hyping up as they did with her, and as much power as she had, she only appeared in 2 episodes and no other group except Isaac knew about her military conquest.

the map scene where she states her motive for conquest of wanting to take things from old men is the key example of how characterization became tell not show. How interesting was that monologue compared to the past seasons flashback to her murmuring the old vampire lord, or all her repeated insults of men/man-children that shows how she judges people??

That monologue had to carry the weight of justifying the Sisterhood bonds falling apart as well as why her motivation changed from building a human pen from Styria to Braila to world conquest. I think it did so poorly

Sypha & Trevor

really Sypha & Trevor have the main plot in the show. I checked and post season 1 the only episode they don’t appear in is s4e6, which is entirely devoted to the Isaac, Hector, and Council of Sisterhood arc. Their partnership and adventures are the main plot of the show.

Its easy to see what Trevor’s arc was over the show: coming to peace with the deaths of his family, taking up the mantle of being a Belmont, and starting a new family with Sypha.

With Sypha I actually had to scroll through tv tropes for what is her character arc, and I guess hers is disillusionment from adventure and life outside the speakers? My friends joke that Sypha’s magic is what the plot demands to look cool in a fight, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Tangent: the ending of their arc was easy to guess: as soon as Trevor went to fight the final boss alone I literally said “oh i bet Sypha’s pregnant, Trevor’s doing a heroic sacrifice, theyll use the unexplained magical dagger mcguffin, and 60/40 odds that he goes through an infinite corridor to outright come back vs just the implication he might come back”

I guess my final thought of the show, was overall the SUPER Final Boss got my by surprise. It was a good twist I enjoyed. Not that Death appeared, I had guessed that from the heavy foreshadowing, but I was surprised by who it was, because I had thought I thought the characters involved feeling shoehorned into the plot was just more bad writing. The Alchemist who put St Germain on the path or murder for no discernible motive for helping? Sure gotta move the plot along. New Dracula court member Varney who has a whole introduction with almost every character he meets and banter about his smell? Sure thats basically how all characters talk with a snarky and acerbic voice.

[kkeidawrites]

Gone

For the next several days, Alucard ignored and avoided Esmé like the plague and she didn’t blame him. Who exactly can bounce back to living their lives after killing their father? From what little information that Alucard had given to her and the others, Dracula was once a good and loving, family man but, when the church accused his wife of witchcraft and burnt her at the stake, he snapped.

 Now his only son, walks the empty halls of the castle he grew up in, alone, grief-stricken, and sad. Esmé made the decision to stay with him until she felt she needed to return to her own home in Jova, well what’s left of it, if she’s more specific.

Esmé busied herself in the small kitchen that the castle had and worked on preparing lunch for both her and Alucard. She has been trying to get him to eat something, but, he would either not touch it or tell her not to bother trying to make him something to eat. Esmé felt hopeless.

What could she do to help him? In this case not much, but the effort she has been putting in for the last few days proved that she wasn’t letting him rot away in this castle.

Trevor told him not to make this place his tomb and he’s doing the exact opposite of what he said.

Finding some leftover meat, Esmé put a hefty slab on one piece of bread and a more medium sized one on another slice of bread, the plates she had them on looked like they hadn’t never been used. Gently, putting the other piece of bread on top of both meats, Esmé moved the two plates to set them on the table behind her then went in search to find a drink for the both of them and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Alucard before her.

Was he there this whole time and she didn’t notice? Placing a hand her chest where her heart was pounding erratically.

“Alucard, you startled me!” she cleared her throat and stood a bit straighter to properly greet him. The man before her was silent, as always, just watching her.

“Would you like something to eat? I found some boar meat, and I was just looking for something for the both of us to drink.” Esmé told him as she motioned to the two plates on the table and he turned his head to look at the meals.

Looking back at her, Alucard picked up one of the plates and smelled the meat in the sandwich. He moaned softly at the smell and Esmé had to supress a grin. She knew he was hungry, so maybe the smell of uncooked meat would make him at least try and nibble on something. 

“You didn’t cook it.” he stated in his low monotone voice.

“Well, honestly,” Esmé scratched the back of her head in embarrassment and the dhampir raised an eyebrow at her.

“I thought you would have preferred the meat uncooked because, well, I don’t know, it would taste more...appetizing?” she tried and Alucard’s face broke out in shock before he try to catch the small laugh that left his lips then a full blown chuckle erupted from him.

Esmé’s heart soared in happiness that she was able to get a smile from him, Hell even a hearty laugh!

“Thank you.” he said and Esmé nodded, nervously rubbing her arm.

“I want to be there for you Alucard.” she said taking a step to be standing in front of him.

“Ever since we ended our journey, I feel that you and I have grown closer,” she hesitantly reached out for his hand but, then brought it back down to rest by her side. Perhaps he wasn’t ready for that quite yet. She was getting ahead of herself and her eyes downcast to watch her shifting feet.

“But, I will be here for as long as you’ll let me. Alucard,” her eyes found his again as he was watching her intently.

“I am here for whenever you are ready to talk.” Esmé promises him and Alucard had an unreadable expression on his face. 

The golden haired man didn’t say anything and Esmé took this opportunity to change the subject. She picked up her plate and moved to sit down at the table.

“Why don’t we have some lunch?” you suggested.

Alucard placed his plate down on the table and looked down at it, as if he was contemplating if he really wants to eat right now or not. 

Esmé took a nervous bite from her sandwich, Esmé watched Alucard closely as he still stared at his sandwich. She suddenly had a great idea.

Taking a big bite out of her sandwich, Esmé gave an obnoxious moan, as she chewed happily. The dhampir raised an eyebrow at her.

“Mmm! So good!” she moaned and Alucard shook his head with a sad smile. 

“I know that you are trying Esmé and I do appreciate it,” he made his way over to where she sat, with a mouthful of boar meat, and knelt down by her to look in her eyes.

“But...” he took her left hand in his and kissed her knuckles. Esmé almost choked and felt her cheeks burn. His amber eyes returned to her

“I just need a little more time.” he whispered to her, his voice cracking as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Alucard-” she whispered his name but, the dhampir glowed red and all that was left was his shadows. Esmé sighed sadly, he still wasn’t ready to open up to you yet. A lone tear rolled down her cheek and Esmé wiped it away.

‘Don’t worry Alucard. I won’t leave you alone.” she thought as she took another bite from her sandwich.

Two days passed, and Esmé has made it her mission to try and find ways to cheer up Alucard. At night she would hear him crying, even hear him walking the empty halls for all hours of the night. 

It was raining one day and Esmé decided that she didn’t want to change out of her night gown, it felt like a lazy day and that’s exactly what she was going to do today. She wrapped herself in a plush robe and threw her long hair over her shoulder.

Walking over to the french doors that led to the balcony, Esmé opened them and watched as the rain trickled on the railing. The sound was peaceful and she closed her eyes to take in the soft pattering of the drops.

Her hair was out of its usual long braid and swayed behind her as she moved to sit at the vanity in the room. Taking the brush, she began to run the bristles through her thick mane and started parting it into long braids. Once she finished with her hair, one braid came undone and Esmé sighed in annoyance.

“This is why, I keep you in a single braid so I won’t have to worry about you later.” she fussed to her mane.

Starting the process all over again, Esmé didn’t hear the door to her bedroom open or the looming figure that stood behind her.

As she finished the braid, Esmé gasped when she saw Alucard in the mirror, staring at her. Turning to him, both of her braids unraveled and Esmé watched as he took a step closer to her.

He knelt in front of her so that they were face to face and Esmé gulped in anticipation. He opened his mouth to speak but, then closed it when he didn’t know what to say and then grabbed her left hand.

“I don’t think I will have another opportunity like this in the future.” He took a deep breath and looked deep in her brown eyes.

“From the moment you appeared in my life I had a feeling that things weren’t going to be the same. You’re so precious to me.” he caressed the side of her face and Esmé leaned into his hand. Her eyes twinkled and she gave a smile.

“There is nothing I could convey how much you mean to me, how much your presence keeps me sane.” he continues and got to his feet pulling her to her feet. He laced their hands together and Esmé suddenly felt shy.

“Words fail me sometimes,” he began with a sigh and shook his head.

“I have never felt more alive than I do when you’re with me. There’s no way I could survive without you, if you left me now...I think I would be more broken than I already am.” he put her hands on his chest where his heart was and looked deep in her eyes.

“So, I have to ask,” Esmé gave him her undivided attention, her own heart beating in anticipation.

“Will you be mines?” he asked. Esmé‘s eyes widened at him and she looked down, dejectedly suddenly feeling insecure.

“Alucard...are you sure that you want me? I mean...I’m just a poor farmer girl who was taught speaker magic by her dying father. I’m not a princess or any type of noble, and yet you want me?” she said.

Alucard smiled at her and released one of her hands to gently grasp her chin. Raising her chin to look at him, Alucard brought her lips to his to seal a kiss between them. Esmé relaxed in his embrace and Alucard moved his free hand to cup her cheek as he deepened the kiss.

Once their lips parted, Esmé was panting softly while Alucard used his thumb to caress her cheek.

“Nothing more would make me happier than to have you as mine. Farm girl and all.” he said with a chuckle and Esmé smiled shyly.

“Then if your offer still stands,” Esmé said letting her hand lay on his chest where he took a shuddering breath.

“Yes, Alucard I will be yours.” his eyes widened at her answer and his hands found her shoulders.

“Yes?” he asked. Esmé laughed and nodded.

“You really said yes?”

“Yes Adrian, I will be yours; now and forever.” Esmé confirmed and she was suddenly in the air being spun around by him, laughter leaving his lips. 

Esmé put her hands on his shoulders to keep herself steady in his arms as she too giggled from his antics.

Once she was set back on her feet, the two lovers looked in one another’s eyes and closed the gap between them, to press their lips together in a passionate kiss.

Esmé‘s arms wrapped around his neck and Alucard wrapped one around her waist and the other around her back, pulling her close.

Parting, the look of lust clouded his eyes and Esmé shivered.

“Mine.” he growled to her and Esmé nodded in agreement.

“Yours.” she whispers.

End of part 2!

1 // 2 // 3 //

[therainroguefanfiction]

⁂ Just A Little (Integra Hellsing)

Genre: Comedy, Romance, Suggestive 16+ ☁

Word Count: 1,821 ☁

Pairing: Reader x Integra ☁

World: Hellsing ☁

Prompt: TFR’s Writing Prompts #105

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“Y/N,”

You glanced over your shoulder at Walter.

“Sir Integra wishes to see you,” he stated, his hands folded behind his back.

You set the book down that you were reading and stood, following the older male to Integra’s office. He knocked on the door, waiting for her signal before stepping inside and bowing. She dismissed him, not looking up from the paper she was reading. He left the room, closing the door behind him.

“Walter said you wanted to see me,” you approached her desk, stuffing your hands into your pockets.

Integra glanced up, her blue eyes narrowing at you. “You’re coming with me,”

You held back a smirk as you leaned forward. “I’ll follow you to the ends of Earth and back, Sir Integra.”

She signed her name at the bottom of the paper before standing up. Her shoulder bumped yours as she walked past and you followed her without a word. You weren’t sure what she needed you for, but you didn’t really care, either. As long as you got to fight and protect her, you’d tackle any job.

Most of the time, Alucard was the one who got to do the fighting. He was always there, acting like a knight in blood-red armor. It annoyed you to no end, and you relished the few times you got to prove your loyalty to her.

She led you outside where a car was idling, waiting for you both. You pulled the back door open for her, letting her slide into the car before following in after her.

“When we arrive,” Integra started, pulling a cigar from her pocket and lighting it. “You’re not to attack under any circumstance.”

Your body tensed at the order. “Sir, are you sure that’s a good id – ”

“That’s an order, Y/N.” She narrowed her eyes at you, exhaling smoke as she spoke. “No matter what they say or do, your orders are to absolute.”

You slid down in your seat a bit. “Yes, Sir Integra.”

“Don’t pout,” she chided, but her voice was softer than it had been moments before.

“I’m not pouting,” you mumbled, folding your arms over your chest.

She sighed, wondering if it was a bad idea to bring you along.

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When the car pulled up to the large building on the opposite end of the city, you stepped outside, holding the door open for Integra. She stepped out and headed for the building, you at her heels. The guards at the door hesitated, eyeing her longer than you would have liked before finally letting the two of you through.

The doors opened into a large room with a waiting area in the corner near the door. The reception desk was in the center with doors on either side. The elevator was on the left with a security guard standing nearby.

Integra stepped up to the desk. “I have an appointment with Francois Spencer.”

‘What a stupid name,’ you thought, your lips twitching up as you pictured the person in your mind.

The lady at the desk smiled, turning to the phone and ringing up Francois. She informed him of his guests before thanking him and hanging up the phone. “You can proceed to the twenty-fifth floor. His office is the first door on the left.”

Without thanking her, Integra headed for the elevator. The security guard had already pressed the button, so it arrived just as she stepped in front of the closed doors.

‘Man, why’s it so hot in this building?’ you scowled at your reflection in the closed door, tugging at your tie.

She glanced at you but said nothing as she stepped out of the elevator. The first door on the left was cracked open and you could hear a voice coming from inside.

“Mou, I can’t believe the nerve of some people. To think that someone as ugly as her would turn me down! Don’t you agree, Muneki?”

“Of course, sir. She is a fool.”

“Right? I’m the most gorgeous man that ever existed!”

Your eye twitched, your body slouching forward. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me…’

Integra sent you a glare – a warning to be on your best behavior and you stood up straight, fixing your tie. She knocked on the door. Shuffling could be heard before it swung open, revealing a frail-looking old man that you assumed was Muneki.

He smiled, tiredly, the wrinkles on his skin deepening. “Please, come in.”

Your eye twitched again when you saw Francois. He was a tall and thin man, his body covered in colorful and excentric articles of clothing. The shirt he wore was made of purple silk, the same color as his hair, but the shirt had a yellow duck pattern. His pants were far too tight, clinging to his stick legs. The front of his shirt was tucked in behind a belt buckle emblazoned with a duck, deep gold in color. Multiple rings were on his fingers. His black eyes shined with confidence.

‘What the hell…’

“Integra!” He swayed over, grabbing her hands in his own. Your body tensed at the action, but her orders rung out in your head, rooting you to the spot. She didn’t seem happy about her personal space being invaded, but she said nothing on the topic. “You’re looking as ravishing as ever!”

You rolled your eyes. ‘I bet this guy is a closet perv,’

As if sensing your thoughts, his gaze snapped over to you. He got a smug look as he looked you over. “Who is this?”

“Y/N. I work for Sir Integra as a bodyguard,” you responded through gritted teeth. Your fists were begging you to punch him, but you exorcised what little bit of restraint you had.

“You? A bodyguard?” he laughed, throwing his head back. “What can you protect her from? A mosquito?”

Your fists clenched tightly, nails digging into your skin. ‘I wanna kill him, I wanna kill him, I wanna feckin’ murder him!’

“Integra, you must let me introduce you to some… better-suited people for that role.” He released her hands and sat in the plush armchair, crossing one leg over the other. “Have a seat, we can catch up over tea!”

“I’m not here to catch up,” she responded, coldly. It was obvious he was working her nerves too. Still, she took a seat on the couch in front of him, lighting up a cigar. You moved closer, standing beside the couch. “Do you have the information I asked for or not?”

“Of course I do!” He snapped his fingers before holding his hand out expectantly. Muneki shuffled over to the desk at the back of the room as fast as his body would allow, placing a folder in his master’s hand.

You frowned as the old man wiped the sweat from his brow. ‘Poor guy. This fool is working him to death,’ You moved closer, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Can I punch him now? Just one good one to the face.”

“No,”

Francois smirked as his eyes bounced between the two of you, “The real question is, what are you willing to give me the information?”

Her eyes narrowed at him. “You will be paid handsomely for your contribution,”

“Please, I’m one of the wealthiest men in all of England! No, I want something more… personal.” He leaned forward, resting his hand on her knee.

Your eye twitched, nails digging harder until they broke the skin. “Are you absolutely sure I can’t punch him in the face?”

“Denied,”

“What if I just, you know, break his nose a little?”

His hand crept up farther. “Don’t be a prude, Integra. If you insist, your weak little slave can watch~”

“Y/N,” she called, her voice as cold as ice as she stared daggers into the man.

“Yes, Sir Integra?”

“Permission granted,”

Your face split into a sadistic grin as you lept over the couch, rearing your fist back before slamming it into his face. You felt the cracking of bone before you heard it. He tumbled back out of the chair, hitting the floor with a cry of pain.

“You crazy bitch!” he cried out, tears streaming down his face, mixing with the blood that poured out of his broken nose.

“If you ever put your filthy hands on my Integra again I’ll break every goddamn bone in your body, twice!” You grinned, stomping your boot on the ground.

He jumped at the action. “M-Muneki, get her!”

“Heh?” your gaze snapped over to the man.

He was smiling, but it looked tired and forced. He bowed so low you thought he might fall over. “I apologize for my master’s behavior,”

“Don’t apologize, you old fool!” He cried, clutching his nose. “I-I feel faint! Muneki I’m dying!!”

“Please stop being so dramatic, sir…”

“Dumbass,” you scoffed, picking up the folder he had dropped. You acted like you were gonna hit him again and he squeaked, folding into himself like a scared child. “What a joke!”

Integra sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she stood. You followed her without having to be told, pausing to look back at the old man as he helped Francois to his feet. You felt bad for him, but there was nothing you could do. You stepped onto the elevator, holding the folder beneath your arm.

You cleared your throat, closing your eyes to avoid her gaze. “Well, that was fun.”

You could feel her pointed look. She clicked her tongue. “You have some nerve,”

“Come on, you said I could – ”

“I never gave you permission to profess that I belong to you,”

“Oh, that…” you grinned, leaning closer to her, your fingers gently tugging on the ends of her blonde hair. “But Sir Integra, it’s true, isn’t it?”

She humphed, not answering as she folded her arms over her chest.

Adrenaline still pumping through your veins, you moved to stand in front of her, leaning your head down until your lips hovered over hers. Your eyes searched her blue ones for any warning, but there was none. Her lips were soft, tasting like nicotine and honey. You let one arm slip under her coat, hand resting on her lower back as your free hand slammed down on the emergency stop button. The elevator lurched to a stop between floors.

Your lips trailed kisses to her neck and you tugged at her collar to get more access.

“How imprudent,” she murmured but made no move to stop you.

“What can I say?” you pressed a kiss to the skin beneath her ear, pressing your body against hers. “You drive me crazy~”

She grabbed the back of your neck, locking eyes with you. You could see the shimmer of amusement lingering in those ocean blue eyes. “You better not disappoint, Y/N.”

You smirked, fingers tugging at the waistline of her pants. “Is that an order?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“Your wish is my command, Sir Integra Hellsing.”

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[asotin]

what're your thoughts on castlevania (the netflix show, not the game, ive never played the game) what do you like, what don't you like? make it as long as you want. i don't care if i have to scroll for 5 minutes. go feral (personally trevor is extremely hot and i would like to date sypha. i'm not really into alucard's whole sickly victorian child aesthetic, yknow?)

oh god this is way too long, but you did say to make it as long as i want, and i have a lot of thoughts that i need to inflict on the world

i played two castlevania games, both from the nintendo gameboy era, so please don’t get mad at me, gamers

details below the cut, but since i’ll be talking about season three, i need to preface this with content warnings for mentions of: graphic violence, rape and sexual violence, racism, and the holocaust

before i get into it, i usually don’t go for alucard-type characters either, but knowing that he was redesigned to be bishounen sexy specifically because the boring, middle aged man look he originally had in the games wasn’t appealing makes me enjoy him. and he’s fun with trevor and sypha

do like:

the voice acting

it’s all good. i can’t think of any characters whose voices were awkward or fit poorly. they don't make sypha’s va use the standard flat affect or false high voice women tend to be assigned, trevor sounds suitably worn out but not monotone, and alucard sounds exhausted but in a sexy way

and the spanish dub is killer, arguably superior

the animation & design

it isn’t full-on artsy, but it’s definitely got a distinctive style that’s easy to look at. the color use and effects are gorgeous. it’s a story set in the medieval era, and the mixture of desaturated and oversaturated elements works so well with that

dracula’s castle and the belmont bunker aren't revolutionary in design, but they didn't need to be. they're suitably creepy and empty, and i enjoyed them

the monsters were unique enough to have obvious different types, and the scene where a monster commits blasphemy in a church by accusing a priest of committing blasphemy was good writing

lisa

she shows up to a stranger’s spooky home and scolds him for being rude. she really looked an ancient vampire in the face, told him he had no manners, then had a kid with him. what a phenomenal woman. 11/10, no notes

“start with me, and i’ll start with you.” you know what? i’d fall in love, too

dracula

this ancient, unfriendly vampire let a human woman walk into his home and tell him he’s got no manners. and that made him fall in love with her. just like that. lisa walked in and handed him his ass, and dracula thought “oh i love her”. and when she was killed (more on this in the bad section), he raised literal hell to destroy the world for doing it

speaking of lisa being killed, it fucks me up that it happened because she convinced him to leave the castle and experience the world. he left her alone to see what she loved so much, only to come back and find that the people he’d come to like- the people lisa had loved so much it drove her to help in a way that got her killed- had burned her at the stake. i love a good tragedy, and that’s good tragedy

the way he weeps when he has to fight alucard?? during a showdown in their home?? the “i must already be dead” moment in alucard’s childhood bedroom??? when he speaks to lisa about killing their boy, her greatest gift to him??? poetic cinema.

the trio’s dynamic

three bisexuals with two total brain cells and only alucard bothers using them. incredible

i went so hard for this ot3. it's right there and so good

sypha

she initially seems to be assigned the role of the adult™️ ie she's the only woman and gets stuck being responsible, but surprise! she’s just as annoying and dumb as alucard and trevor. she dropped a castle she didn’t understand on the ground and didn’t think too hard about it. then she argued about breaking it. i love her

if we don’t get an ot3, then she needs to have a dumb gf

alucard

he's got a stupidly low neckline and lower pants. they really leaned into ayami kojima’s redesign, as they should have. his little curl annoys me, though. why the fuck does he have a random section of hair that’s like three inches long when the rest is shoulder length or longer? love that he really looks like lisa

if you say he's canonically bisexual and polyamorous, no he isn't. yes he is. no he isn't :)

trevor

disgusting. a nasty man whose appearance mirrors his state of mind. he's 50 mental illnesses in a dirty jacket and his coping mechanism is… alcohol? maybe? he’s a mess, and i dig it

him trying his trick of kneeing alucard in the balls during their fight? and finding out it doesn't work? (which…… why doesn't it……?) juvenile but suitable

hector

his love of animals makes him my favorite. normally, i won’t touch anything with this much animal death, but i’m willing to set that aside because hector loves them so much. he’s so sweet and kind, and he loves his monster pets

yes he sided with dracula and has some really fucked up ideas about what constitutes humane treatment of people, and yet i love him. 11/10, but i have a lot of notes

isaac

i support him, including his murdering and his decision to support dracula. dracula throwing him out of the castle to save him was so cruel in that it was an attempt at kindness from a man who hated the whole world, but it was against isaac’s wishes

his time with the captain was great

idk enough about islam to know if he's portrayed correctly and haven’t seen any complaints, but given the show’s track record……… i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not great

the forging

very cool. fresh and interesting! hector creating pet friends is cute and heartbreaking. love isaac for his dedication to reducing, reusing, and recycling

season 2’s big battle with all those vampires

the new version of “bloody tears” is phenomenal

this goes back to the animation, but listen……. it's so good. i loved the smoke vampire, and alucard’s fluid wolf transformations. his flying sword looked really good, and incorporating them together? super good to watch. and trevor’s whip?

the type and level of violence are suitable for what it is. it would be weird for a gritty show like this to be bloodless, but i don't think it would work if it were bloody to the extent of a slasher. it's also more clean violence, if that makes sense. you don’t linger just to look at gore; you see it because stabbing someone spills blood. the games weren't about extended, gritty scenes of realistic murder, so the show sticking with quick, slice and dice type fights fit with what i remembered of them

please watch this fight if you don’t remember it or haven’t seen it (part 1, part 2)

trevor’s whips

trevor’s weapons don’t follow the physics of normal whips, and they shouldn't. they’re heavily stylized and clearly a fantasy weapon, but they still have rules that they (mostly) have to obey. his morning star-whip hybrid in particular is so good 

it’s easy to follow, too. a lot of times, speedy weapons disappear, which is an understandable effect but one i find boring because there’s nothing for me to do. i’m just sitting on my ass with nothing to do

trevor’s whips don’t disappear. they’re fast, but you can always see them. and they have weight! you can see them slow down and gain speed. i don’t need physics to be real; i want movement to be pleasing, and that’s exactly what i get with the whips

don’t like:

fridging lisa

she could have been kidnapped (possibly make dracula think she was dead bc people want to lure out her scary demon husband, idk), then s2 could have ended with her and dracula reuniting as he died. she and alucard go on a trip together to attempt to make amends for the pain dracula wrought in lisa’s name. orrrr she dies a tragic death with him and we’re left to hope that they find each other in the afterlife. do vampires get to go to the afterlife? can alucard reintegrate? can he be happy with his new friends? or will he go back to his crypt and sleep again? will he ever be rediscovered? if so, what will he do? deep questions. i would prefer to cogitate on these instead of experiencing the shitshow that is s3

season 3

they should have ended it with dracula’s death. the quality of storytelling goes down immediately. just plummets. i’m sure there were problems in the first two seasons, but this one is so bad, i genuinely can’t remember

but i may as well get specific, so here we go:

abandoning alucard

trevor and sypha leave their friend alone in his childhood home where he just killed his father. where they helped him kill his father who, as i’ve said too many times, raised literal hell to get revenge for people burning alucard’s mother to death

yt they don’t talk about alucard. they don’t make any plans to touch base ever again. trevor’s entire family got killed. sypha’s culture, from which she’s now estranged, is family-centric. if ever two people should give a shit about alucard and know why alucard shouldn’t be left on his own, it's them

so what the hell is going on?

trevor and sypha’s relationship

look. it could be good. it would be better with alucard but they could be together and it could work fine

but this……….

trevor hates what they're doing. he hates traveling around and fighting. he's clearly tired and deeply depressed

sypha not only doesn't care enough to address it (did they forget the first two seasons?? sypha is annoying partly because she doesn't stop poking people) she might not even notice? yes, she's having fun, but trevor is basically dead on his feet in front of her

racism

hector, sumi, and taka all got done dirty 

sumi and taka

i hate the way they died. i hate that i’m certain that the plot won’t bring japan back into the narrative (or if it does, i don’t trust it not to be shitty). i hate the fact that by killing them off, i’m not going to get any more of them. they were interesting!!

speaking of the japanese vampire: the biphobia, arguably, given what happens with alucard

the addition of sexual violence

i don’t need or want lenore. if all she’d done was manipulate hector, i could have lived with that. she’s a villain, so she does bad things. that’s the point. but what she did was a massive escalation. we hadn’t had any sexual violence, and then the last few episodes gave us 

tumblr feminists who love her for how she treated hector need to be quarantined until their brain worms have been cured

everything that happens to hector

what was this shit? why did i open my netflix app and tap castlevania and find them making this man walk around naked in the cold to torture him? and starving him? he got manipulated, degraded, chained up, collared like an animal, and raped. and why? to show us how bad lenore is? that the other vampires are bad because they let her do it? i didn’t sign up for this

the holocaust reference

the imagery at the end of s3 when it’s revealed that the judge has been killing people he’s decided are undeserving to live and collecting their shoes in that barn was chillingly close to images of shoes taken from victims of the holocaust. there's no reason to invoke the holocaust here. it’s unnecessary and in bad taste

[rogue-jester365]

His Tears, Her Demons(Castlevania Fanfiction)

Author: Rogue-Jester365 (on my Wattpad account with the same and on my account on Deviantart called DecemberOwl)

Disclaimer: As all of you know, I do not own Adrien "Alucard" Tepes. He belongs to the creators of the Castlevania games and show.

___________________________

Chapter 9: Restrained Confessions

Narration

It was currently dark outside, but no one was asleep. Cristine became paranoid after what happened; which didn't help with her sickness, Alucard had canceled that day's training for Taka and Sumi after what had happened, and Taka and Sumi were discussing an alternative way to handle the two hosts.

___________________________

Cristine remained in her room, wide awake when she was told to sleep. But how could she after today? She was almost raped by the two people she began to enjoy knowing. Her mind was racing with many thoughts: "Why didn't she trust her instincts when they tried to warn her? Why did she trust Sumi and Taka's words for anything?... Why didn't she tell Alucard what had happened when she had the chance?"

Who knows what would have happened if she did. Would he deny? Would he not? It was no doubt that the two guests would deny it.

She wished that she told him at that moment he held her close, so safe and secure. She felt so powerless the moment Taka and Sumi were above her. Vulnerable. Frightened. Speechless. Every emotion anyone would feel if they were in her position at that moment.

Tears rolled from her eyes as she turned to lay on her side. She whimpered from the memory of what had almost happened to her. She tightly gripped the sheets that were currently over her body and curled into a ball, holding her legs against her chest with her free arm.

Cristine shut her eyes again and shivered when she heard the door open, fearing that it would be Taka or Sumi. Slow but somehow light footsteps approached her, causing her to shiver harder. She stopped when she felt a gentle and familiar hand placed on her shoulder. She slightly opened her eyelids and looked up. She was relieved for it to be only Alucard.

He looked down with a soft expression and held a bowl of what appears to be soup." I brought you dinner.", he told her.

" Did-... Did they take part in making it?", she stuttered to ask, referring to the only other two people in the castle.

" Neither of them did, I made this myself.", he answered her. Although he was curious to ask why she would be concerned if the two apprentices were involved, he didn't push it since she was under a lot of stress and sick.

She nods her head slightly in approval then attempts to sit up, she winced in pain as she did. Alucard set the soup aside and assisted her into a sitting position." Thank you, Adrien.", she told him.

He gives her a nod in response.

After seeing she still lacked the strength to move, Alucard had begun to feed her. He had fed her slowly so she wouldn't choke on her food or made a mess of herself. But after only a few bites, she end throwing it up into the bowl. His eyes widened with surprise from what had just happened. She then began coughing up a bit. Alucard set the now tarnished soup aside to lay her down to be more comfortable.

Cristine looked up at him with tired eyes when she stopped finally coughing." I'm sorry... My stomach is just hasn't been feeling right since I became sick.", she explained to him.

" It's alright, it's not your fault.", he told her with his sweetest smile then gently stroking her cheek. Cristine smiled back up at him while weakly lifting her arm to grip the hand that was placed on her cheek.

He removed his hand and sat beside her. His eyes left her direction for a moment as his smile then disappeared. He was looking at the spot he saw Taka earlier when Cristine had her seizure, thinking of what Sumi had told her. When his eyes returned to Cristine, she looked at that same spot too but was visibly more troubled and conflicted.

" What's wrong?", he asked her.

" I... I can't.", she said in a small tone of voice. She wanted to say it to him, she wanted to admit to what happened. She just didn't know how to say it or how he would respond. She didn't even look at him as she said it.

" Why?", he continued to ask, only wanting to know what was wrong with her.

She shook her head then responded in the same tone of voice as before," I don't want to talk about it... I'm afraid..."

" Afraid of what, Cristine?", he asked further," Tell me, what is wrong?". But she shook her head again.

" I can't...", she refused again.

" Yes, you can. Just tell me, please.", he begged in a voice that gave out his deepest sincerity. She looked up at him and saw it in his eyes. He immediately picked her up and held her close the moment her tears began to show. He had her head against his shoulder to cry on, his arms wrapped around her body to support her from falling to the side with the sickness keeping her maintaining balance. " Shh...shh... Cristine, it's alright. Take the time you need. I'll wait for when you are ready.", he whispered to her. One of his hands was now holding the back of her head and stroking it with his thumb.

After a short while, her cries mellowed down enough for her to speak. " Taka...", she began in a whisper," And Sumi tried to...". She stopped again when her tears start returning.

Alucard pulled away for a moment and held both sides of her face. Only a few tears were currently streaming from her face. Her eyes were looking down from him. He stroked one tear from her left cheek with his thumb." Cristine...", he whispered to get her attention," It's alright, I promise you that whatever happened to you, I will fix or at least make it easier for you. You have nothing to be afraid of, not while I'm around.".

She tilted her head to the side a little, leaning into one of his hands. " Would you like to tell me later?", he asked her. She shut her eyes for a small moment then nodded.

" Alright, I will wait for when you are ready.", he told her softly. He then kissed her head again and they just embraced each other.

___________________________

An hour and a half later...

Alucard was in the library trying to figure out what the white powder from earlier was. He'd ask Taka or Sumi, but a small part of him thought that there was something strange about them and this powder had something to do with it and it wasn't for any good intentions. He searched through the books and so far he didn't find anything.

He was leaning over the table with his hands as support while reading the pages of the books below him. He focused on every word that was written down.

He was so focused on the pages, he didn't even bother noticing the two people walking through the door. Not until he felt one of their hands on his left shoulder. He turns his head towards the person who owns that hand and saw Taka with a calm expression with his eyelids half-closed but not in the sense that meant he was tired. He looked towards his other shoulder to see if Sumi was there, and she was with the same unreadable facial expression.

" What are you two doing up this late?", he asked with his eyebrow slightly raised since it was almost midnight.

" You've been so busy lately.", Taka explained as he pushes the books aside," We thought you could use a break.".

Just when Alucard was about to grab the books, Sumi grabbed his hand by the wrist. When he looked at her, she was smiling up at him." Come now, Alucard you should relax.", Sumi tells him with a honeyed tone of voice as they both push him down the table," You deserve some quality time."

Just when Sumi leaned in to kiss him, Alucard stopped her by having one of his hands in front of his face. He then gently pushed her face away and gave them a serious look as he stood up. He said," I would prefer it if neither of you attempted that."

Taka then held Alucard's chin with his thumb and index finger, turning the dhampir's head in his direction. He contained the same smile as Sumi's was before." Come now, you've done so much for us. You should be rewarded.", he said before Alucard tugged his face away from Taka's hand.

" You can do that without being physical with me.", Alucard sternly stated as he walked to the other side of the table, picking up the books that Taka pushed away with no care.

" Besides, you two have each other. You can be physical all you want. Just leave me out of it.", he then added as he stood up and was about to walk to the door.

The two looked at each other with confusion then back to Alucard." Where are you going?", Taka asked Alucard, who was just about to exit the room.

" To room where I can research in peace.", he responded, not referring to his bedroom. He figured that they would possibly try again there.

" Why? What's your problem?", Sumi added to the questions. Sighing in annoyance, Alucard turned his head towards them with a half angry and half bored look on his face.

" My friend is sick and has become paranoid for almost a week now, for reasons she refused to tell. She hasn't gotten any better. I am trying to figure it out before she likely dies. So what the Hell do think my problem is?!", he ranted at them. His nails became sharper, his golden eyes began to dimly glow, he was getting angry. Which was something he normally wouldn't do. It would have almost been strange for anyone who knew him well.

" Why help her if she refuses to let you?", Sumi questioned. Alucard rolled his eyes and tapped the book with his fingers, visibly showing that he was getting impatient.

" Why waste time for someone like that?", Taka then added; resulting in Alucard becoming more impatient with them," It's not like you love her--"

" Yes, I do!", he thundered, silencing Taka before he could say more. Both Taka and Sumi looked at him with wide eyes and in silence.

" You both heard me: I love her.", he continued his eyes still narrowing at them," More than either of you could ever imagine. More than I ever thought I could dream."

" How-- How can you?", Sumi asked him, confused by this harsher and uncalm side of him then stated," You have only known each other for about a month now."

Alucard looked away, feeling much calmer than before. His angered facial expression changed into a soft one, something he rarely showed to people.

" From what I learned from all this time", he began in a softer tone before turning back to the two with a more stern look on his face," is that days in isolation will feel like years to anybody. That's how Taka.". He then left them both in silence, not even telling them a good night, not like they deserved one after what they tried to do......and what they could have done.

___________________________

Alucard paced to Cristine's bedroom, wanting to be close by her and to research quietly.

Christine wakes up from her deep slumber once she heard the door open. She squinted her eyes from how tired she was and how the moonlight coming from the window was bright enough to light the room. Even though her vision was blurry, she still recognized the person at her door.

" Adrien?", she groaned as she used her arm for support to lift herself," What is wrong?"

" Nothing", he answered as he entered the room and shut the door. He then walked over to the other side of her bed and placed the books on the side table. Cristine's head followed his direction to see what he was doing.

" I just wanted to avoid our two guests.", he then finished as he walked towards the chair and sat down. He looked out the window with the same annoyance he had before, not directed at her. He had his arms crossed as he leaned back on the chair and deeply sighed.

" What happened?", she asked him, tilting her head a little.

He didn't answer her, at least not at that minute. Remained silent for the time being. After shutting his eye along with a much calmer sigh, he turned to her and opened his eyes as he responded with," Best not to worry about it, Cristine. I promise you that it is nothing. Just rest your head, you need your rest."

Although she doubted his response, she still nodded and laid back down to sleep, trusting his words as she often did. She laid her head on her pillow then closed her eyes, falling back to her dreamless sleep almost instantly.

Alucard then turned away from her, staring back out the window. But as he did, couldn't help but think about turning back her direction, to look at her sleeping form at least once. He tried to think of something else since would have been wrong to look at her while she slept.

His eyes then led his direction back to her, feeling that there was no harm doing it once. His usually emotionless facial expression practically vanished and turned into one with awe. He couldn't help but stare at the small yet peacefully sleeping woman in the bed.

The small moonlight shined on her snowy pale skin making it practically glow, her long lashes touched her rosy cheeks, her soft; long dark auburn hair draped over half her body. She looked as innocent as a child while she slept. He couldn't help but think of this," So beautiful, so pure". With the desire to touch her, he carefully got off the chair and quietly walked over towards her. He knelt in front of her. He lifted his right hand while the left one rested on the knee that touched the ground. He then allowed the back of his fingers to gently stroke her cheek while also pressing a strand of hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear.

A small smile formed from the sleeping woman's pink lips and made his heart flutter. He couldn't help but smile at the results. He felt like could see this for hours if not days.

Shaking his head back to reality, his smile then leaves him and he turned from her again. He took one of the books he brought to the room and sat down back on the chair to look for more information on the white powder he found as a distraction.

He kept on looking for a long amount of time and found nothing so far. That was until one page caught his attention.

" Cyanide,", it was written," a very toxic white powder that has a bitter almond-like odor, but not always. It can be exposed by breathing it, drinking it, touching it, or eating it. Can be extremely deadly depending on how much is exposed. Symptoms may include dizziness, fatigue, body sores, headaches, nausea, loss of consciousness...". He stopped before even finishing the list of symptoms.

He looked towards Cristine with worry, noticing that these symptoms match hers. Remembering how strange everyone's behaviors were, he added the pieces together and realized what was going on.

" Taka and Sumi...", he muttered to himself to not wake Cristine," They are behind this... But why?". He closed the book then sets it aside. He got off his chair then walked towards the bed, looking down at Cristine with gentle sorrow. He lifted his hand and gently stroked her cheek with his knuckles, with the feeling of guilt for not seeing this sooner.

[nekolatte]

Chapter 7: Two Back

Preview: Trevor sighed and wished he was drunker for this conversation. “Even if all I manage to do is get the lot of you killed?” “You saved far more of us yesterday than had you not intervened at all.”

“And here I stayed awake all night, stricken with grief.”

The words barely registered through the haze of sleep, understood more as a slurry of sound to Trevor as he attempted to claw his way up into consciousness. Small details of his surroundings began forming, settling into place to paint a picture. He was outside, after running from Dracula's horde. On the floor and in pain, because he fought with Alucard. The man in question still fast asleep, despite being the lighter sleeper of the group, because he had been close to dying and still refused the one thing that might helpー

Trevor started violently, shooting up with eyes wide but glazed over, arms around the limp body resting on himー ignoring the surprised sound at his side to blindly search for a pulse. He found it after jabbing fingers against the vulnerable skin of Alucard's throat, the rhythm sluggish but there and hating that he didn't know if this was normal for a half-breed. Maybe that's why he was always so pale.

Guiding the vampire down onto his lap, easily rearranged into a more comfortable position despite the dead-weight, Trevor scrubbed the last bits of sleep from bruised eyes while his heart got back under control only to skyrocket when he remembered Syphaー

"Thank you for finally remembering about me." Wide eyes turned to find the mage in question watching him with a bland smile. Trevor was no coward, but he may have wilted under her sharp gaze a bit. "My night went by fantastically, though not as well as yours, I imagine."

Sypha pointedly looked at the body in his lap, and before Trevor looked too he noticed the red of her eyes, the smearing of dirt on her cheeks. Her heavy slouch from where she crouched next to them and the tightness of her body language. It eased a bit, when she reached out and brushed Alucard's hair out of his face to feel the slight puff of air from his breathing.

Then Trevor noticed the protective arm he had thrown over the man's chest, the other cradling his head and… just decided to leave them. Sypha already saw, already made her assumptions. Trevor was too exhausted to make sense of it himself right now.

"I'm sorry." His voice sounded rougher than after spending a whole night binge-drinking cheap-shelf spirits, and his mouth tasted the same. Every inch of him hurt, a headache forming that was making it hard to see. He just wanted to drape himself over Alucard and sleep but he owed Sypha a proper apology.

She didn't lift her hand from brushing back Alucard’s hair, but caught Trevor in the corner of an eye. There was still pain there, a vengeful accusation that she wasn't going to bring up just yet, so Trevor continued.

"I should've tried harder to get back to you, I promised you I would. You were injured and I sent you off on your own, with God knows what going through your head. Knowing you needed help, that you'd be waiting. I shouldー there was so much more I could have done. I shouldn't have set those villagers at the front lineー I should've pulled them back, set up a barrier. Or used the silos to guard our back instead ofー"

Sypha threw herself at him and cut off any rambling that might have followed. She hugged Trevor around the shoulders, clung as if he were about to send her off on her own again. A spot of wetness soaked through the collar of his tunic to reach skin. He drew an arm from around Alucard to wrap it around Sypha instead and crushed her to his side with what strength he was regaining.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, with Alucard softly snoring between them, Trevor sinking into the warm comfort of finding each of them safe, relatively speaking. Neither he nor Sypha willing to break the peace, though they couldn’t stay there forever. It was Sypha who pulled away first and put herself together after a huff and a rapid blink of lashes.

"You two are alive, and that is what matters now." She dusted at her ruined robes, torn and bloody, before reaching down to grab Alucard's wrists. "We need to move on."

Trevor could only nod and help her get Alucard’s limp body up, maneuvering awkwardly until the vampire was draped over Trevor's back, Sypha following close behind to keep them both steady. She guided the way through the forest, the horses closer than he remembered them being, and he questioned her with a small frown.

"I had to come looking!" She defended herself with a glare and said nothing else as she unlatched the backdoor of the carriage and two pairs of eyes peeked warily from under the heavy tarp. "Oh, this is Milo and Daria. Ilinca is in the frontー they were, um... We all escaped together."

Out of what was likely a hundred or so villagers, now there were only three. Trevor tried not to let the horror of it show on his face as Sypha shooed the children back so Trevor could set Alucard down. Without prompting, the mage climbed in right behind and tried to get him settled comfortably on the wooden bed, wasting no time to inspect his injuries.

That left Trevor to drive, then.

He walked around and tried to ignore the stare of an ancient woman who was not impressed by what she saw, as if silently blaming Trevor for not being able to save her village. Too exhausted to care, he climbed into the seat and got the horses going with a sharp click of his tongue and a whip of the reins. They trotted obediently, strong creatures that didn’t seem phased in the slightest about the horrors that took place the night before. He waited until they were back on the road that would lead them further into Wallachia, before they took such a disastrous detour, to call Sypha for a heading. She scooted closer, and Trevor risked a glance back to find Alucard under the cover of one of the horse blankets while the children watched him. 

“Ilinca told me a sister of hers lives in a city not too far from here. If they have managed to withstand Dracula's hordes, her and the children will be safe there.”

Trevor caught what was unsaid, that they needed to find a safe place for their charges first and foremost before dealing with their own problems. He didn’t like itー didn’t like the deep-sleep state Alucard was in. Hibernation , like the first time they encountered him in that coffin under Gresit. Except this hadn’t been some demonic vampire lord that felled his only child but some random demon that got lucky. He cursed under his breath and quickly apologized when the old crone gave him a scalding look, muttering darkly to himself about how he anticipated the ride to be long.

Sypha had fallen asleep sometime around noon, the children followed closelyー huddled and clinging to her robes as if she was the last of their innocence they were desperate to keep. And Alucard hadn’t stirred once.

It was just him and the crone, both seemingly content with the silence. Hardly amicable, but it didn’t weighー they were two people, sharing space for as long as it took them to get where they needed to go. He didn’t anticipate making any conversation, but was pleasantly surprised when a drink of something strong was placed right under his nose. He took the gourd, gave the old woman a bewildering look, but as she didn’t deem him worthy of a glance, Trevor shrugged his shoulders and sipped. 

Strong and spiced, earthy. Delicious with the right kick in the sack to banish the lingering exhaustion in his eyes. He stared down at it once again before handing it back.

“What the hell is that?”

“Tonic of my own making.” She didn’t sound like Trevor expected her toー her voice was sweet, gentle. A cool caress across a fevered forehead. “I used to make it for the farmers, during the early grain harvest. This was the last of it, before the monsters showed.”

And of course all topics had to return back to the horde, to how Trevor failed spectacularly.

“I’m sorry.” Trevor already apologized once today; he might as well just keep on going. He was sorry for allowing the village to fall, for not saving as many people as he could. For allowing his companions to come to harm, for letting them down. For not being better, faster, stronger . He was sorry for not being worth the holy blade that took the rest of his family, forced to be the last Belmont. A useless, pathetic drunk, playing at hero when he would rather lose himself in drink and die in a ditch somewhere for the wolves to feed on. “I am truly sorry.”

Trevor expected nothing in return for the emotion he poured into the single word, but what he didn’t anticipate was for a hard smack to the shoulder. He reasoned that the only reason it hurt was because he was still recuperating from last night, and not because the old crone still had strength in her withered limbs. 

“What the hell.” He snarled, ready to pull at the horses so he could drop the woman off on the side of the road and leave her to fend for herself. Or at least fantasize about it for all of a glorious second, knowing he would never be able to bring himself to do it.

“Did I ask for an apology?” Ilinca retorted without even half the venom Trevor had for her, and he felt a trickle of shame slipping down his spine at it.

Trevor shrugged a shoulder and turned back to the road for something to focus on instead of the heavy weight of the old woman’s stare. They settled into silence for only a few moments before she deemed him calm enough to continue.

“I did not say that to remind you of perceived failures but that you may remember the people you fought for. I don’t have much time in this world, and I have my own doubts about how useful I can be to two children who have lost all they’ve known and must struggle in the cruel world to come. They may never remember their old home, may not wish to, but I don’t want their parents, their relatives, friends and neighbors to be forgotten. Another tally of victims that fell to dark creatures that slaughtered for no reason at all.” A bony hand settled on his arm and squeezed around the vambrace.

“Remember my people, young man. Continue fighting for those who cannot.��

Trevor sighed and wished he was drunker for this conversation. “Even if all I manage to do is get the lot of you killed?”

“You saved far more of us yesterday than had you not intervened at all.” 

Said with such certainty that Trevor had to agree. Would it have been better if they kept going, never to have known the names of Ilinca, Daria and Milo? The more dominant part of his mind thought 'of course' , the part that was twisted with grief and distrust, but he knew it to be false. It would’ve hurt more knowing he could’ve saved someonerather than none at all due to inaction.

He was a Belmont, and despite the struggles and sorrow that awaited him, he had to keep fighting. It was his family’s creed, all he had to live up to now.

“Okay,” was all he could manage to say and was offered the gourd once more. Trevor drank from it greedily and somehow managed not to get sloppy drunk by the time the sun started to set.

The traveling group managed to reach the city just as it started to draw up its bridge for the night, Trevor having traded places with Sypha and the children so the guards at post would be more willing to allow them through. The horses were bitter at the long journey they were forced to endure, and refused to be tended to once the group found a stable to settle them in. 

Not wanting to neglect this duty, and a more major part being that Alucard was still in deep sleep within the covered carriage, Trevor volunteered to stay behind to tend to the horses and keep an eye on Alucard while Sypha and Ilinca took the children to find Ilinca’s sister.

From within the corral stationed at the edge of the city walls, Trevor took notice of the flurry of activity despite the dimming hour. There were many soldiers present, more than Trevor thought a city of this size could hold, though a trained eye told him that not all were seasoned in the professionー many young, and even some women disguised among the ranks. They rushed people home, snuffed out any and every flame they came across. By the light of the heavy moon above, they went around and doused buildings with buckets of water pulled from large basins carted by strong, hefty horses.

It took him a few moments to realize it was holy water.

It took him a bit longer to realize one of the cart’s paths led straight to where Alucard currently slept. The tarp was meant to be waterproof, he knew, but his heart clenched painfully, and he leapt into action all the same. At this point of their travels, Trevor really should’ve known if Alucard was in any danger, should know more about his acquaintances than their names, but he didn’t. He didn’t and now he was forced to act irrationally, compulsively, climbing into the back of the cart with his back towards the roadー Alucard shielded with Trevor’s own body as best he could manage.

Those tense, few moments of water crashing against the side, over the top, gliding down in invisible rivulets, lasted far too long. Trevor’s heart hammered with adrenaline, though with no means to shake it loose from his system he started to tremble from the force of it. Made to wait until the soldiers marched on and nothing happened, immediately feeling ridiculous though thankful no one was around to see him overreact.

Trevor was ready to return to the horses when the minuscule sound of a droplet falling caught his trained ear and a sharp hiss of pain followed after. Trevor turned, expecting the worstー like Alucard’s face melting offー though was relieved in a way he didn’t think possible to see groggy eyes staring back at him from the dim. There was a glow to them Trevor never noticed before, didn’t care to notice, and was surprised when he failed to react the way he normally did when coming face-to-face with Alucard’s otherness.

Taking more caution to not appear like a damn fool, Trevor quietly approached at a more sedated pace, and sat at Alucard’s side. Trevor eyed him up and down, noting he hadn’t moved at all.

“Hey, still with us?”

A pause followed by a tense grunt was all the response he got in return. Trevor tried not to sigh but failed, knowing his disappointment was clear to see by the minuscule pinch of Alucard’s brow. 

“Still not going to let me help, are you?”

That pinch deepened just a bit, erased by shock of surprise when a droplet fell from above and sizzled on Alucard’s cheek. It stirred him further, and like a dead man rising from the grave, Alucard took great pains to sit up.

Trevor stayed silent, on his side of the carriage, another shot of adrenalineー to make him move, make him help, make him do somethingー made him shake and he clenched a fist tight to suppress it.

“Do I need to go hunt a couple of rats for you to chew on,” the words came out bitter, stinging his own tongue when unleashed. Though Trevor couldn’t stop himself and didn’t really want to. “Since my blood seems too inadequate for your refined palate?”

A sneer was reward for the question, lip raised to show off the fangs that Trevor hated so much. He was forced to sit there and watch Alucard wheeze in a deep breath for speech. “The smell will draw attention.”

Trevor scoffed, irritated in such a ferocious capacity that he couldn’t begin to understand, and turned away to climb out of the carriage without another word given. That small bit of camaraderie they reached the night before must have been left behind in the forest because there was none of it here. Trevor thought, probably stupidly, that they would put this idiotic game behind them and act like proper adults. But, apparently, he was the only one that thought it.

With a half-hearted wave over his shoulder, Trevor went back to the horses to sleep on a pile of hay and entirely missed the weak hand stretching out for him.

[drkfought]

   ─         the  mirrors  surrounding  you  did  as  they  were  meant  to ,  reflecting  back  a  spitting  image  of  jensen  ackles    -    but  it’s  clear  something  is  wrong  from  the  moment  that  a  vision  of   𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬  𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨  𝘨𝘰𝘥   strikes  you .    perhaps  it  was  a  passing  daydream  in  the  frenzy  of  the  funhouse .    you  reassure  yourself    -    you’re  𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐍  𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 ,   a   𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘺  𝘰𝘯𝘦   year  old   𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗘  𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗘𝗙   whose  virtue  lies  in  your   + loyalty   &   + selflessness ,  although  you’ve  been  told  that  you  tend  to  be  quite   - short  tempered   &  - self  loathing ,  and you’re associated with  𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅  𝒃𝒚  𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒔  𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔  𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏,  𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔  𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉  𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒚  𝒌𝒏𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔,  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒓  𝒕𝒐  𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒆  𝒕𝒐  𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒓  𝒐𝒇  𝒂𝒏  𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆,  𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅  𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆  𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒔  𝒂𝒏𝒅  𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍  𝒕𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅  𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔  𝒂  𝒃𝒆𝒅 ,  by  those  around  you .    suddenly,  however,  you’ve found   𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍'𝐒  𝐉𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋   on  your  person    -    was  that  always  there ?     from  the  moment  you  leave  the  funhouse ,  memories  from  your  life  in   𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙡   have  begun  to  return   -   leaving  whoever  you  had  been  before  in  the  mirror’s  reflection  behind  you .    you  can  almost  hear   𝚁𝙰𝙼𝙱𝙻𝙴  𝙾𝙽   by  𝙻𝙴𝙳  𝚉𝙴𝙿𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙸𝙽  following  in  your  wake .

hi  i  love  dean  winchester  so  stinkin’  much   ...   i  am  ....  so  excited .    he  deserves  a  life  where  he  wasn’t  hunting  monsters  all  the  time !    one  where  he  got  a  job   &   had  kids   &   is  just  living  life !    let  dean  have  a  life !

full name :     dean  henry  winchester . alises :   the  righteous  man .   the  sword  of  michael .   squirrel . age :   forty  one . gender & pronouns :   cis male ,  he / him . sexual & romantic orientation :    bisexual / biromantic . species :   human . identifying  marks :    multiple  scars  across  his  body .   some  looking  like  they  came  from  knives ,  others  from  guns .    his  memory  on  how  he  got  most  of  them  is  fuzzy

    ─        𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍  𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 .

i  will  try  to  make  this  short .    dean  was  born  to  mary   &   john  winchester   &   for  four  years  he  had  the  most  simple  apple  pie  life  a  four  year  old  could  ask  for .    in  1983 ,  a  demon  went  into  the  winchester  house  to  visit  their  newborn  son :  dean’s  younger  brother  sam .    when  mary  interrupted  the  demon’s  visitation ,  he  killed  her .   slashed  open  her  stomach   &   burned  her  on  the  ceiling .    dean’s  father ,  john ,  witnessed  the  terrible  end  of  his  wife’s  life   &   though  he  made  it  out  alive  with  both  sam   &   dean ,  the  event  would  irreversibly  change  him .

john  became  obsessed  with  discovering  what  it  was  that  killed  mary .   he  learned  to  hunt  the  supernatural   &  ruthlessly  trained  his  sons  to  do  the  same .    dean’s  toddler  life  of  toys  turned  into  tinkering  with  guns ,  his  warm  bed  into  dirty  motels ,   &   his  carefree  existence  into  only  worrying  over  his  younger  brother .    he  became  the  perfect  killer  but  it  took  a  toll  on  him .    his  father ,  far  from  perfect  even  before  this ,  became  harsh  on  dean .   molding  him  until  he  was  more  dutiful  soldier  than  he  was  boy .   dean  did  everything  his  father  asked  &  followed  his  every  order  with  blind  faith   &   even  then  he  would  never  be  the  perfect  son  to  john .    sam ,  on  the  other  hand ,  rebelled  against  the  life  john  gave  them .   though  dean  tried  constantly  to  settle  their  explosive  arguments  as  best  he  could  no  matter  his  thoughts  on  the  matter  at  hand ,  desperate  for  peace  between  the  two ,  he  still  couldn’t  stop  sam  from  running  away  in  the  end .    he  wanted  to  hate  sam  for  it  at  first ,  but  he  never  could .

years  later  when  john  went  missing  on  a  hunt ,  dean  reached  out  to  his  estranged  brother  for  help .   the  job  was  supposed  to  be  a  simple  one  but  after  coming  back  unsuccessful  to  the  tragic  death  of  sam’s  girlfriend  ( same  as  their  mothers ,  in  fact )   sam  entered  back  into  his  life  for  good .   

though  the  plots  of  both  heaven   &   hell ,  sam  &  dean  became  pawns  in  the  story  of  the  world’s  end .    the  apocalypse  slowly  set  into  motion  &  started  with  the  winchesters  at  the  center  of  it  all .    even  though  they  managed  stop  the  world’s  end ,  though ,  it  was  hardly  the  last  threat  to  humanity .    as  years  passed ,  the  brothers  found  themselves  thrust  into  apocalypse  after  apocalypse .     an  endless  cycle  that  they ,  eventually ,  discovered  was  god’s  doing  all  along .   they  were  simply  the  main  characters  of  a  never  ending  tragic  story  that  god  was  writing .    furious ,  the  two  brothers ,  with  help  from  their  rebel  angel  best  friend  &  the  half  angel  son  on  lucifer  himself ,  devised  a  way  to  defeat  god  for  good .    in  the  end  they  succeeded .   jack ,  the  mentioned  son  of  lucifer ,  took  god’s  place  after  his  defeat .    the  world  is  their’s  in  the  end .   they ,  for  the  first  time ,  get  to  choose  their  own  paths .

   ─        𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃  𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 .

there  was  still  a  fire  at  the  winchester  house  when  dean  was  four  years  old .    an  accident  this  time .    an  electrical  fire .     a  normal  tragedy .     their  mom  was  still  lost  but  dean ,  holding  onto  the  bundle  that  was  his  little  brother ,  watched  as  the  fire  fighters  pulled  his  dad  from  the  flames .     sitting  with  them ,  brother  in  his  arms ,  while  they  consoled  him   &    let  him  wear  their  helmets  would  always  be  a  far  more  comforting  memory  to  dean  than  the  ones  his  father  gave  him  in  the  years  to  come .    john  winchester  became  distant .   negligent .    borderline  abusive .    dean  did  his  best  to  take  the  bulk  of  what  their  grief  drowned  father  put  on  them ,  trying  to  shield  sam ,   &  gave  a  lot  of  his  life  to  helping  raise  sam  where  john  fell  short .   they  moved  around  a  lot ,  finally  settling  in  alucard  when  dean  was  around  seventeen .

when  he  was  a  late   teen  if  he  wasn’t  at  home  or  sneaking  out  for  a  smoke   &   some  girls ,   dean  worked  at  being  a  volunteer  firefighter .    it  was  something ,  he  thought ,  slightly  productive  to  do  with  his  life  as  it  was  already  obvious  to  him  that  he  wouldn’t  be  able  to  go  to  college  with  sam  still  needing  him  around .   at  age  eighteen ,  with  his  high  school  diploma  stating  he  graduated  with  average  grades ,  dean  officially  joined  the  fire  force  at  an  entry  level   &   began  saving  up  money  for  his  own  place .    a  place  away  from  his  father  but  close  enough  that  sam  could  use  it  to  get  away  at  any  time  as  well .   though ,  as  the  year  went  on ,  he  found  that  john  would  have  been  unlikely  to  allow  dean  to  live  under  his  roof  anyway .    

dean  was  notorious  with  women   &   thought  himself  as  careful  but  clearly  not  as  careful  as  he  thought .    when  he  found  out  he  was  going  to  be  a  dad  at  eighteen  he  initially  rejected  the  idea ,  wanting  nothing  to  do  with  the  child  out  of  fear  of  turning  into  his  father .    sam  was  the  one  who  talked  him  down  from  the  anxiety .   with  his  encouragement ,  dean  slowly  worked  to  learn  how  to  be  a  parent .   preparing  a  room .    reading  parenting  books .   anything .    it  came  as  a  shock  a  month  before  the  due  date  to  when  he  found  out  the  mother  was  backing  out  of  keeping  the  child .    she  had  been  the  one  initially  for  raising  it  at  first  but  suddenly  felt  she  couldn’t  do  it .    though  he’d  be  on  his  own ,  dean  had  steeled  himself  to  becoming  a  father  too  much  to  let  the  girl  to  go  up  for  adoption .    beverly  winchester  was  born  feburary  13th   &   dean  took  full  custody  as  her  sole  guardian .    he  kept  in  touch  with  bevery’s  mother  still ,  who  went  on  to  study  psychology  outside  alucard .

being  a  single  father  was  far  from  easy  but  dean  managed ,  always  taking  help  where  he  could  from  his  brother  or  from  friends .    one  friend  even  got  closer  than  others .    when  beverly  was  nearing  three  years  old ,  dean  started  seeing  a  foreign  exchange  student  from  england  who  was  taking  classes  at  the  local  university   &  the  casual  feeling  of  the  affair  wasn’t  there  for  long .    things  blossomed  into  something  serious   &   when  it  was  discovered  she  was  pregnant ,  this  time  dean  was  far  more  sure  about  things  than  when  he  was  twenty .     the  wedding  was  small    &   around  nine  months  later  dean  became  a  father  of  two  as  simon  joined  the  winchester  family .  

for  a  few  years  this  seemed  the  perfect  arrangement .    dean  worked  up  through  the  ranks  at  the  station ,  setting  himself  up  to  be  the  new  fire  chief  one  day ,   &   raised  his  kids  happily  with  his  wife .    but  perfect  sometimes  doesn’t  last  long .    their  relationship ,  after  all ,  had  been  a  rushed  one .    after  around  six  years ,  things  simply  didn’t  have  the  same  spark  as  they  used  to .     the  divorce  wasn’t  nasty ,  they  knew  it  was  a  mutual  thing ,  but  it  still  stung .     he  left  the  court  as  a  single  father  again ,  now  with  joint  custody  of  his  son .    he  didn’t  seen  simon  much  after  the  divorce .   shortly  after ,  he  &  his  mother  moved  back  to  england  which  dean  was  always  bitter  about .    though  simon  came  to  visit  sometimes   &   dean  called  whenever  he  could ,  he  always  felt  like  he  was  far  from  the  boy .

at  fourty  one ,  years  later ,  he’s  gotten  well  back  on  his  feet .    no  serious  relationships  seem  to  stick  but  at  work  he’s  finally  gotten  fire  chief .    he  misses  being  in  the  middle  of  the  action  sometimes ,  but  he  loves  his  job  nonetheless .     if  not  at  work  he’s  visiting  his  brother ,  the  bar ,  fixing  his  car ,  or  dedicating  time  to  beverly   &   simon  who  has  recently  moved  to  alucard  to  be  around  dean ,  much  to  his  delight .    as  his  life  is  coming  back  to  him ,  though ,  it  is  stressing  him  out .   the  world  was  already  dangerous  without  remembering  monsters .    he  feels  as  though  this  is  just  another  story  he’s  now  lived  out   &   isn’t  even  sure  whats  real .

  ─        𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑  𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 .

father  to  BEVERLY  MARSH  &  SIMON  SNOW  in  alucard .    he  will  absolutely  go  off  on  you  if  you  are  mean  to  his  kids .    yes ,  this  includes  other  kids  who  bully  his  kids .   he  doesn’t  care  he’ll  yell  at  you  for  being  an  asshole  no  matter  your  age .   absolutely  no  one  messes  with  his  kids .

has  had  beverly  around  since  she  was  born  but  has  seen  simon  infrequently  since  he  was  about  six  since  simon’s  mother  took  him  back  to  england  with  her .    he  doesn’t  love  simon  any  less ,  but  he ‘s  struggling  with  fact  they  don’t  know  each  other  as  well  as  dean  would  like .    he  hates  that  his  son  grew  up  so  far  away  from  him  with  visits   &   phone  calls  too  few   &   far  in  between .

is  also  now  having  to  cope  with  the  fact  that ,  in  this  new  life  he  remembers ,  he  doesn’t  even  HAVE  his  kids .    closest  thing  he  has  to  a  child  there  is  jack   &   he  doesn’t  even  know  if  jack  is  okay .

still  has  the  impala  here .    can’t  have  dean  without  his  car .

while  he  is  the  fire  chief ,  fixing  cars  is  a  huge  hobby  of  his .    if  he  didn’t  love  his  job ,  he  would  absolutely  leave  it  to  work  as  a  mechanic  at  the  local  garage .

while  he  mostly  works  on  his  car  himself ,  he  still  brings  his  car  to  the  garage  a  few  times  a  year  for  things  that  his  own  garage  doesn’t  have  the  tools  for .   they  know  him  there  from  his  recognizable  car .

his  father  has  been  alive  for  sometime  but  he’s  recently  found  out  he  died  from  a  stroke  in  his  sleep .   dean  is  stuck  between  the  duty  of  giving  his  father  a  proper  funeral   &  his  own  bitterness  at  the  man  for  how  he  treated  him   &  sam .     this  is  only  worsened  by  the  memories  of  john  that  will  come  back .

he  is  bisexual !   because  i’ve  watched  this  show   &   have  eyes !    i  know !    is  he  repressed   a  lot   &  hasn’t  exactly  had  an  offical  coming  out ?   also  yes !    doesn’t  mean  he  HASN’T made  out   &   gotten  with  a  guy  or  two  in  the  past .   just  means  he  never  felt  like  he  could  say  anything  about  it  all  growing  up   &   now  just  figures  it’s  too  late .

uuuuuuuuuuuuh   anyway .    i’ll  add  to  this  more  if  i  think  of  more .

[b-listbadboy]

Castlevania Season 3 was disappointing

(Spoilers for Castlevania Season 3, if you haven’t seen it yet it’s out now on Netflix. I suggest watching that first before reading this review)

I won’t say it was an awful season by any stretch of the imagination but man was it a drag to get through.

Almost nothing of significance happens for the majority of the season and the things that did happen felt extremely off and weird. 10 episodes, 25 to 30 minutes each, and every single one except for the fucking TWO LAST EPISODES were spent dicking around with a mystery that had little to do with anything from season 2 beyond a really out there twist that I’m sort of iffy on. Top that off with a lackluster arguably stupid ending to leave us off on a needless cliffhanger, and that’s the magic remedy that will leave me feeling pretty damn frustrated.

The best parts, in my opinion, were with Isaac’s massive undead crusade he was waging throughout his journey for revenge, and Trevor and Syph’s interactions with each other as well as with the little villagers. Isaac’s arc going from a servant of Dracula to slowing evolving into the master of the damned felt genuine, intriguing, and badass! I really wish he was the next main villain instead as it makes sense thematically. He carries out Dracula’s nihilistic views of humanity in a similar but now more direct way and that can lead into something really intriguing. However, for some reason, this season left him and his whole journey on a back burner, and virtually everything else that is implemented into main villain role fell flat on its face execution wise.

For example; The new vampires of this season are Camilla’s three other empress sisters, and while they do have a plethora of personality at the very least, that kind of comes at a cost of the main threat being extremely diluted. We go from this hurting sympathetic undead overlord with the power of an anchent GOD, to a couple of wicked sassy sisters who just wanna eat people forever? It’s a bit lame of a progression from what we once had, we know Vampires like to eat people that’s nothing new or exciting. There’s no real twist to it besides it being “led by women in the dark ages” and granted that makes sense here since it IS the dark ages, but come on we literally just had arguably the BEST adaptation of friggin’ Dracula! This shouldn’t be all they got moving forward from that.

Now, I have ZERO issue with the main antagonists being female or even two of the four sisters (not by blood don’t worry) being a lesbian couple. I hate that I have to emphasize this, hell I often defend Cinder Fall in RWBY more than anyone in the fandom at all despite her issues as a complex and sometimes flat out badly written character. However, The four of them in this season have the most basic of plans that it seems arbitrary status quote fluff at best. It felt like just because it’s Castlevania, we HAVE to have the vampires as the villains. Even though in the games the Belmont’s were literally fighting werewolves, dragons, skeletons, and the GRIMM REAPER??

Therefore, the sense of urgency and tense calculating plans of ‘survival vs extinction’ is completely gone. And yknow in a way, I can kinda initially SEE that working in a sort of “Empire Strikes Back” esque plot. Yknow, with Alucard and the gang go around cleaning up Dracula’s leftover horde only for Isaac or even Camilla to have this huge vengeful comeback of dominance? But there’s no one exactly “striking back” or even taking any kind of immediate initiative after Dracula’s death. It’s been MONTHS after the whole event and no one seems like they really care about that world changing event from the last two season’s. Everything is fine and dandy, no one has a single worry in the world! How enthralling...I miss Godbrand 😑

Besides the plan the four empresses have as well as Issac’s revenge, which I hope will both be more explored in season 4, no one really has any goal to warrant THAT kind of length of a season. This is more of a Netflix problem that I have with most of their shows and it’s one of the reasons why I don’t like watching them. Almost every singe show Netflix produces now, feels the need to overstuff itself with needless filler that gets us really nowhere until the very end where it SUDDENLY all comes together. But because of the nature of binge watching and considering how Netflix wants to desperately keep their subscriptions in fear of intimidating competition, they make these shows 12 episodes long with HALF HOUR OR MORE amount of filler content that’s supposed to satisfy us cause it’s “cute”?! No, stop this shit! Granted, Castlevania wasn’t nearly AS bad as the live action shows, but honestly, what exactly was shown to us that couldn’t have been reduced to like 5 solidly paced episodes focused on one or two plot lines ONLY like before? It worked perfectly back then, why change what ain’t broke?

As much as I don’t like the immediate rush of Trevor and Syph’s out of nowhere sexual relationship, I didn’t overall mind it too much since they still somewhat felt consistent. Their characteristics play off very nicely with one another and it’s pretty easy to see the chemistry between the two....HOWEVER I’M STILL GONNA COMPLAIN ABOUT IT SO HERE WE GO!

I get that they were setting them up as an endgame ship of the series, there’s no denying that, but they start fucking for what feels like (to the audience) two days after and I think that’s a bit ridiculous! Even if Alucard states that it’s been at the very least a month worth of time since the events of Season 2, there’s no real physical signs showing that statement to be true. Hell, Trevor’s beard and hair remains the same despite a HUGE passage of time where it would naturally grow out to indicate said time passing by. But both him, Syph, Alucard, and damn near everyone else looks the exact same as last season. So for all I know it could have been like a week since Season 2 and that to me doesn’t feel exactly earned. The Season 2 finale didn’t explicitly leave off Trevor and Syph officially a couple, they felt more like partners in crime more than anything else. Not to say that there wasn’t any chemistry there to develope INTO a relationship GRADUALLY, but going from a little spark of interest to the immediate jump of them sleeping together naked all comfortably as if they’re a goddamn married couple is a STRETCH! Even Trevor himself thinks so too so don’t jump down my throat about not being immediately swooned by the shipping fanservice given to us. I don’t dislike them as a couple at all, in fact I think their dynamic is cute! However, I would have also liked to have this couple feel natural and earned. They most certainly do not feel earned this way, at least to me.

Oh god, then there’s this out of nowhere sexual tension between Alucard and his new two recruits from another region hinted at in the previous season? Mind you, Alucard was doing literally NOTHING throughout the entirety of Season 3. Yep, literally the ONE DUDE WHO BASICALLY KILLED DRACULA gets about fuck all story progression afterwards out of the three. But what they DO give him are these two new vampire hunting student’s who look identical to one another (no racial they just literally look like fraternal twins) so I assumed they were either siblings or a couple, which makes it REALLY WEIRD WHEN THEY BOTH FUCK ALUCARD OUT OF NOWHERE?! I’m NOT making this shit up I promise! What makes even less sense is that it was really just a ploy for them to steal the Belmont knowledge of killing vampires to show to their people who have been enslaved. Which of course ends with them being killed so it really makes this entire conflict in his character damn near pointless besides “sad vibes check”, but here’s the thing...why didn’t they just keep doing training with Alucard?? There were virtually no downsides to having him teach you how to kill Vampires to save your village from being enslaved, he was teaching you both very well and gave you like the eternal knowledge of how to kill literally EVERY MONSTER and even let you live in the castle FOR FREE, food and wine included! What was the turning point for them to want to kill him all of the sudden? Cause he’s a vampire?? THEY FUCKING KNEW THAT ALREADY!!! Why was is suddenly not a problem at first but then coincidentally a problem now? If they wanted to use this to somehow depict this notion of “Oh my dad/Dracula was right humans are the worst” mindset, trust me, it was better conveyed with Isaac. These twins side plot not only made no sense, but also felt unjustified for Alucard to be an emo boi. I get that it’s supposed to be symbolic of him going through the same issues that both of his parents went through, but none of that really showed how bad human’s are. Just that those two twins didn’t think things through apparently. So the point of Alucard having this odd character convenience shift feels by the numbers cliché, and most importantly CHEAP.

It really makes no sense to me why they’re adding so much of this filler for such a long time, especially with some of this filler being oddly sexual. I don’t mind honest depiction of sex between consenting adults of course, but it just felt so misplaced and awkward at parts where it showed itself. I felt like I was reading a mediocre fanfic of Castlevania instead of the actual show itself! Granted, Season 2 had somewhat of a similar dilemma but the lull in between was still showing the character specifically doing things to further the story along. Towards the end, it gave us a way more satisfactory closure of that saga with Dracula that felt natural and well earned. This season however, felt like they were scrambling with different ideas here and there and didn’t know which to go with. Alucard training new recruits in his castle, Trevor and Syph figuring out an estranged (and BORING/GENERIC) cult of Dracula’s plan, Camilla setting up an army with her fellow sisterhood of evil vampires to gain ultimate power, Hector surviving captivity by using his wit and charm, Isaac raising up the dead for revenge on his deceased master, a new character introducing an all new world to the lore of Castlevania as we know it, all of these interesting concepts and ideas that could easily make up for a good season alone! And instead of focusing on one or two ideas to develope into something natural, they ended up saying “FUCK IT! Fucking I dunno what to- WE’RE DOING ALL OF IT I DUNNO!” and mixed the whole thing in a blender of different flavors that don’t necessarily blend together well enough for a tasty satisfactory meal. It just ends up being a mesh of okay at best, and gross at worst.

IN CONCLUSION, Castlevania Season 3 had a rocky start, an okay middle, and a kind of cool end. There was definitely some cool and exciting ideas implemented in here, but not enough to warrant that lengthy amount of time that Netflix seems to love to give to most of their TV shows. Sometimes less is more, and all that shiny cool glitter isn’t necessarily going to turn out to be gold. I’ll give this season a 5/10. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen but it certainly could’ve been a lot better.

P.S. “Who Do Ya Voodoo” from Dead Island is Isaac’s new theme song, you can’t convince me otherwise.