#hell add 2022-2023 like this is the best days of my life

[planether]

beyoncé and doja releasing new music in the same year and a week apart was god saying i was seen in 2020-2021

[thefirstfewdays]

Here’s to You | May 26, 2023 - 5am

Reading these posts trigged flashbacks I hope to forget completely one day.

Although I feel I processed the end of that relationship in nearly its entirety, I had the need to add another entry to this journal.

A message to my past self and for record for my future self:

Younger Christina, good job for hanging in there. Reading your posts broke my heart. You were so young to endure that much damage to your self-esteem. I’m sorry you went through it all. We’re still suffering the effects of that damage today, but we’ve been getting better.

You are, and always have been so beautiful. Intelligent. Amazing. Likeable! And lovable!!!! Please believe it one day. You dated someone for years who made you believe you were otherwise. It’ll take some time to completely change our self-narrative, but I believe it’ll change one day. Hopefully, future Christina will document our successes.

We’re 24 years old now, and we have undergone so much personal growth. The greatest thing being we finally had enough self respect to end things for good with him when we were still 23. Good riddance. (Thank your 4th year placement & M.R. for making you realize you don’t respect yourself!).

You met up with him 5 months after the breakup to exchange your things, and he’s doing well. No need for guilt - he’s on track in his life. Don’t feel like an asshole for doing what suits you best. Period.

We’ve been through one hell of a ride, haven’t we? I know it’ll take some time to recover from the trauma of that relationship. It’s doable though. I still get nightmares of how things were sometimes. I hope one day I can look back at this post and these nightmares will be a thing of the distant past.

I have great news by the way. We have a new partner who loves you so much. I mean, us so much. You love him very much too. He thinks you’re beautiful, smart, and embraces your silliness. You don’t ever need to hide who you are around him. He feels like home. Simultaneously a beautiful cinnamon-roll too good for this world, too pure and a badass. You’re lucky!

Also, remember the date: December 11, 2022!

That’s all for now. Take care of yourself.