#hekateposting

[once-a-singlet-nevemore]

I never understood grinding and thigh riding and then I met my butch and now literally all I wanna do I grind down on his thigh while we cuddle

[lost-in-fumes]

I have a fever and chills today and all I can think of is that I want to feel like this. Fetishize my weakness. I don't want to be strong. I want to be kept small and broken in unsafe hands.

In bed, thinking about resting my weary cheek into a clawed hand, the lines under my eyes, the bruises on my face and neck. sometimes the talons reach into my mouth or my ear and pull out a pinprick of light, a flickering part of something trying to heal itself-

-and popping it like bubble wrap. I reward you with a little line of drool at the corner of my mouth.

I want to be weak. I need to hear promises through sharp teeth. I think about hearing the tap of a fuming cigarette on glass ashtray by my head, a careless exhale down into my face.

Sit me next to a window you won't open. I can look at the overcast sky and the bright world outside while I choke.

Speak for me. Tell me my throat is too sore, I'm too tired. Make decisions for me. Cut me off from escape. Make me weak in your unsafe hands.

[once-a-singlet-nevemore]

Transhumanism is a trap.

Wishing you lived in a better, brighter future is all well and good unless you put off making positive change in your life for the sake of what might be.

We are living the lives we have, and they are not perfect, but they can be good. They can be full of love.

All of this is to say, love your found families, love your people, and transition. It's never too late.

[lost-in-fumes]

Girls Who Ride Horses

I collapse almost immediately.

My arms and back give out before my legs. This time I’m smart enough to turn my head as I crash to the floor. Last time I bit through my lip. The cut is still raw.

I was never strong, but I am not cut out to be ridden.

More than anything I wish I could see your expression. Are you disappointed? Do you smile when I buckle only a few moments after you straddle me and sink the full force of you into my soft little body?

I can’t ask you anything because you’re still riding me, bearing me down into the floor. I’m caught between two forces that will not yield. The breath wheezes out of me and it will not return.

You shift forward, just a little, just enough to squeeze a little more air from my frame. I can barely make a sound. I can’t call for help.

I can’t say, “This is enough, please, stop.”

My heartbeat hammers in my ears. I imagine vessels bursting in my eyes. How long before my skin turns blue? What if you never got up?

What if you sat and pressed and luxuriated and squeezed so cruelly that my soul couldn’t slip free?

I love you so much. I love you so much!

Eventually, you relent enough for me to choke and gag for breath. You won’t ride me to death. But this is life now, isn’t it. There won’t be a day when I won’t collapse underneath you.

I want to be strong. Not enough to escape, but to prolong this a little more, give you another second or two to draw this out of me. I’ve never been strong. But I want to make more room in myself to hold more pain for you. I want to be like a dessert that crunches first and then yields helpless softness.

Naturally, this is hilarious for you. When I’m pinned on the floor, limbs shaking with lactic acid, you rub sticky hormone gel into my thighs. It softens me and steals the strength I try to build up to amuse you.

I’ll never be fit for dressage. This body of mine isn’t graceful. The point was never to take you anywhere or be shown off to gloating, pretty monsters. But all the same, you mount me and wait for me to fail. I promise I will fail as often as you want.

Please, let’s try again? Please slip your warm legs around my body and your hands into my hair and throat. Please ride me and hurt me and bear down on me until the press of your thighs are the limit of my world. Make me small and ruined, smother me, ride me, won’t you please?

(via Sapphic September on Cohost)

[once-a-singlet-nevemore]

He looked me in the eye right before sex and said 'do you want me with or without balls' and it might be the most I've ever laughed

[once-a-singlet-nevemore]

Did you know you can size train neo pussy?

I didn't until I started trying