#hehehoohoo maybe if i embrace something like zombie imagery i will hate myself less! >remembers everyone thinks theyre goofy
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should i try and play along with/incorporate zombie motifs given all my scars and the way i limp sideways bc of scoliosis and the literal muscle rot or should i just go ahead and kill myself
#im as good as dead anyways. surely this wont lead to further dehumanization. yknow the kind that comes with being disabled. by default#cant walk normal cant have a straight spine cant be taken seriously cant be indepedent brother what semblance of a chance do i have#i genuinely feel soulless. whats the point of trying to be yourself when youll be forever at the mercy of someone else#people told me they can identify me by the fucking sound of my footsteps. bc of the way i walk. i literally cant even pretend to be normal#hehehoohoo maybe if i embrace something like zombie imagery i will hate myself less! >remembers everyone thinks theyre goofy#im just another dead weight to have its head blown off by someone whos abled. in this way i truly identify with zombies! how fitting#im so miserable. sometimes i wish i was delusional or i could zone out and pretend like this isnt gonna be my life forever#and that it is guaranteed to only get worse from here no matter what. i need to be shot i need to be shot i need to be shot
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