#hehehe i luv jealousy

[nepotizm]

'   no   ,   you   don't   get   to   be   all   possessive   right   now   ––––    you   literally   came   here   with   her   .   '

[persephonyed]

the warmth that brushed over irina's ear as she was pulled from yet another candorless conversation was more welcome than imagined, excusing herself politely before escaping on the other's arm. "you know that i do enjoy the praise," her smirk sparkled, "but the moment they open their mouths, i tend to forget how appealing the previous compliments truly were. at least i always have you to play hero when i most need it," irina squeezed the other's arm affecionately.

CLOSED STARTER FOR : @persephonyed !

" YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO HEAR THAT I'M HERE TO RESCUE YOU ." zenith leans in to whisper as she moves subtly tug the other away with unabashed confidence that perhaps only royalty can bring . her brow twitches just once before she forces herself to ask, " unless i'm to believe you are actually enjoying the attention of that flock of vultures ?"

[andromerot]

hehehe ok i am going to list a bunch of the stuff in my various playlists of 70s favs aside from the two queen albums ive already subjected u to!!

jealousy - queen

dreamer's ball - queen

i need you to turn to - elton john

madman across the water - elton john

harmony - elton john

the bewlay brothers - david bowie

needles in the camel's eye - brian eno

coz i luv you - slade (i truly cannot explain why i like this one so much)

gudbuy t'jane - slade (same goes for this one)

bitter sweet - roxy music

(fair warning this was almost entirely supplied by the playlist i use to fall asleep and the velvet goldmine soundtrack. also if u would be good with black sabbath i do have some good songs of theirs) (sorry)

THANK YOU CASS! ill listen to these tomorrow probably :) and sure send them my way!

[urboymutual]

unfollowed you again because i wanted to ask about your favorite buddie headcanons please good sir i'm starving

hiiiiii seeing u refollow me like 🔎 ahh goat has come to ask me a question heheh

but ok literally ive been marinating on this ask for the whole day bc like my buddie thoughts r soooo messy and im def gonna forget a few hcs but

im sorry to give into heteronormativity bullshit or whatever but i WOULD LOVE for buck to take eddies last name i know most ppl like to hyphenate bc gay rights and stuff but mr. and mr. diaz PLEASE

also speaking of that, more of an eddie hc but i like the idea they go to LA pride every year and like eddie gives out "free dad hugs" bc i saw this one latina mother giving out free mom hugs and it brokeee me like sobbing on my hands and knees 😭 but also id love for them to be affectionate (they'd def be more lowkey about it bc eddie's more of a . "silent keep it in" type) and just like queer latine kid at pride being like "wow so love does exist for people like us?" and eddie just looks at buck with a soft smile like "yeah."

expanding a little bit on the diaz last name thing tho like i read this one fic where buck wore a jersey (cant remember what sport) with eddie's last name on it and it was sooooo 😳😵‍💫 idk just sharing clothes is so cute and i think they would basically have like One singular wardrobe bc they just mix their clothes so much

ALSO WHEN THEY MOVE IN TOGETHER THEY BUY A LIKE BROKEN DOWN HOUSE AND REBUILD IT TOGETHER BC POWER OF GAY LOVE AND THEY JUST 😭😭🫶🫶 also idk if this is a popular opinion or not but i think they would have more kids not necessarily like adopting or even surrogacy but maybe like how hen and karen foster kids bc like they work so WELL together as fathers and it be so nice for chris to have a little sibling 😭 (also latino urge to have a big family)

i really really like the hc that like they are literally in love with each other and everyones aware but THEY DONT KNOW IT. like obviousness to the max like buck discovers that he's been hiding in the closet for too long or smthin true happiness stuff and hes like "Let me date men now" and they all throw him a coming out party and like him and eddie have plans r something and hes like "oh sorry eddie :( i have a date with. Glen (idk) rain check?" and eddies like "yeah thats chill..." but later "hmm my tummy hurts when i think about buck going on dates with men oh my god am i homophobic?!?!?" (that one reddit post straight guy thinks hes being homophobic to his gay roommate... turns out hes in love with him) but like eddie mistaking his jealousy for homophobia basically . and idk i want them to be two oblivious motherfuckers until someone knocks some sense into them. (idk whether im pro one of them gets in danger and the other confesses their love or it's literally Mundane thing like buck teaching chris a task and eddies watching them and gets an "oh shit"  ephinany )

also for their wedding im stuck between maddie being buck's best man or walking him down the aisle but also bobby walking him down the aisle 😭😭 chris would be THEE ring bearer (probably a little grumpy abt it as a preteen) and jee would be such a cute flower girl 😭😭 idk but i do know eddie's tia and abuela are stealing the wedding table center pieces! (flashbacks to hispanic weddings and parties ive been to where my moms made me steal the table centerpieces 😭 that shit was so embarrassing) also carla is DEF invited to the wedding luv her <33 also they'd probably do padrinos and madrinas stuff (basically someone is the madrinas of the cake and is in charge of the cake and stuff its a mexican wedding/party (?) thing bc they do it for quinceañeras too)

HC. They r gay

[astertataricvs]

Sanemi Shinazugawa || Penitence Part 3

THE LAST PART OF PENITENCE!! THANK YOU FOR READING!

And thank you to my Lil sis @kimetsu-no-yaiba-headcanons for the letters! Luv u sissy! 💞💞

Word count: 2.6k+

"I'm sorry, Shinazugawa-san, your fiancé didn't make it. I'm sorry for your loss."

Those words... those words that were enough to make him fell down on his knees and tears streamed over his cheeks. He cried in anguish and scream at the top of his lungs upon discerning that you won't ever come home with him again and cuddle with you on the comfortable plain white bed in your shared apartment. Specifically, he won't feel the warmth of yours that you're always transmitting him.

He felt so cold, hollow, empty, lifeless and dead...

Sanemi cried nonstop at his loss and now that you're lastingly gone in his life. He still couldn't affirm that you're already gone, perfectly vanished in this world and your body was placed inside the coffin, underneath your tombstone.

His friends tried to console him but it was useless even his own brother, he let himself get drunk every single day and would often come home; thinking about your days together with him. He would found himself opening your closet and smell your clothes that give him the nostalgic scent that he surely yearned. He would only let himself cry until he fell asleep.

He blames himself for neglecting you, he blames himself every day that he's the reason why you passed away. His days were becoming miserable and he couldn't find himself smiling since you're the source of his own happiness. Now that you're gone, he doesn't know what to do anymore with his life. His supposed to be wife was now dead, you left him alone in this cruel world.

How dare he say that when he's the first one who left you and neglected you. He won't ever forgive himself.

His loved ones were slowly slipping away from his grasp. First, his family; his mom and siblings that he treasured and now... you whose the one who changed his life and gave him hope... all the source of why he's still fighting and keeping him alive... it already disappeared, it's now utterly gone, completely gone. So why is he still alive? You didn't deserve to die, he was supposed to be the one dead! Why it has to be you?!

"(Name)... I fucking missed you... I missed you so much..." he muttered between his breath while gripping his hair.

He won't see the warm smile of yours anymore.

Three months later...

Sanemi returned to his empty apartment and turned the lights on. He went to his room and decided to change his working clothes to something comfortable. After changing his attire, he took a seat on the bed and let his mind go somewhere else.

It's been three months since you passed away, and Sanemi was still mourning about his loss. Every night, he would always think about you and the what if's if you're still alive. It really made him depress for the whole two months considering he would steadily reminisce the memories you both have in this apartment.

Sanemi let out a bitter chuckle and buried his face on his palm.

He really misses your presence.

Sanemi's towel fell onto the carpeted floor. He bends his body to get the towel but, his eyes suddenly caught a box under the bed. Curiosity washed over him and instantly pick the mysterious box that was at the corner of the bed.

It was plain white and he doesn't know what's the content inside since it wasn't that heavy. Sanemi decided to open the box and his eyes detected neat tiny envelopes inside. His eyes suddenly went wide upon seeing your neat handwriting at the back of the envelope and it said: To Shinazugawa Sanemi.

Sanemi's heart leapt apprehending that it's a letter of yours to him. Taking the first letter, he unfolded the white paper and read the writings.

20th June XXXX

Dear Sanemi,

It's been about two months since you've started ignoring me, what's wrong? Are you stressed at work? Are the students giving you problems? Did Giyuu lecture you again?

Hehe~ I tried asking you in real life but you always either ignore me or tell me to shut up, I'm just really concerned about your well being okay? I am your fiancé after all, and I'm proud.

His heart throbbed inside his ribcage once he read the last paragraph. He remembers that day, the day when you're worried about him but he's just shrugging you off. He felt his heart clenched every time he remembers how he ignored you.

He takes the second letter and read it.

20th July XXXX

Dear Sanemi,

How are you? I hope work isn't stressing you out too much. And I've decided that I should write monthly letters to you! You just seem extremely stressed out/irritated by something lately so I thought this would be the best way to indirectly tell you my thoughts (if you even manage to find this box, that is.) Hehehe~

How's work? I'll slap Giyuu's ass for you if he's lecturing you again, don't hold me back like last time because of your jealousy again please~

Anyway, I know I might be overthinking everything.

But why is there always a faint scent of woman perfume on you whenever you come back home?

Don't worry, I'm not doubting you, just wondering. But hope you get well soon~

His lips tug upwards knowing that you surely trust him a lot despite that he doesn't deserve your trust at all. You never doubt him ever since. You're such an angel that was sent from above and wouldn't get mad at him.

Reading the second paragraph; a sincere chuckle escaped from his lips. You're already kind and adding to the list that you're entertaining too, how lucky he was to have someone like you? You really never fail to make him laugh.

20th August XXXX

Dear Sanemi,

These are going to turn into daily letters now because unfortunately for me, I don't have much time left and I really do hope you find these letters. Oh, wait, scratch that, you'd be too busy with your other woman to even give a shit about these meaningless letters.

Hey, tell me, why are you still staying with me?

Is it out of pity?

His eyes sagged and feel his heart stabbed because he revived again the time when you asked him why is he still staying with you although he's already seeing someone else.

The reason why he's still staying because he doesn't have the guts to leave you. He had the feeling of not wanting to leave you alone and your presence was making him feel reassured.

But now... it won't happen anymore.

21st August XXXX

Dear Sanemi,

Sorry, I was just in a bad mood yesterday, I honestly didn't mean to start cursing.

So, who is she and how did you guys become a thing? Just general curiousity~ Is she good at cooking? Does she make you your favourite dishes? She's prettier than me though, that's for sure. Does she make you happier? It seems like she does.

Y'know, you could've just told me you wanted someone else.

His heart shattered, he can feel the pain in the letter transferring to him. Why is he such a fucking asshole?

22nd August XXXX

Dear Sanemi,

Hey, do you remember that time? Both of us were laying on our bed, you were laying your head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat. Remember when you said you wanted us to create our own heartbeat? And that you would love and cherish the little heartbeat that we made together?

You have no idea how happy I felt.

He remembers it, he won't ever fucking forget that. If you're happy, then he feels the euphoria that time, you don't know how happy you make him feel every time you praise him and give him butterfly kisses. You don't know how he feels tingly inside whenever you cuddled with him and say sweet nothings to him.

He's so blessed to have such an angel like you in his life.

30th August XXXX

Dear Sanemi,

I most probably won't be able to write daily letters anymore because of my current condition, I did a blood test a few days ago and the doctor said that there was no way of saving me unless some miracle happens.

My muscle aches are getting worse and I've been coughing out more blood than I usually do.

A flow of lightning had flowed inside his brain; he reminisces the day when he just got home and saw you sitting on the ground while coughing. He didn't know that your fighting your illness with yourself and he didn't even do anything about it. He also didn't know that your coughing blood that day.

He's such a scumbag.

10th September XXXX

Dear Sanemi,

10th September, today was the day you had asked me to marry you. I wonder if you even bothered to remember though. I was planning on preparing you dinner and buying you a gift but what's the point? We aren't and most probably never will get married.

Please don't remind him anymore... he'll only cry again once he remembers that day. He blames himself for all the horrible things he had done to you, he couldn't forgive himself.

23rd September XXXX

Dear Sanemi,

Why do you refuse to tell me the reason as to why you're still staying with me? Why didn't you go out today? You usually go out when it's a Sunday.

Say, weren't you always the one to wipe my tears away? Why didn't you do that today? Was I really that much of a bother? You could've just said so.

Either way, none of that'll matter because the doctor said I'll most probably die soon, if I'm lucky, I get a week if I'm not I'll most probably just past this week.

Tears started to brim in his eyes as he read the letter.

He doesn't have any fucking idea that you're enduring this pain. He doesn't have any fucking idea that you're throbbing already and he's only adding it more!

24th September XXXX

Dear Sanemi,

Thank you for hugging me today, it's been a while since I've last felt your warmth. Since I probably won't be able to last until your birthday, I'll just give you an early birthday present ♡

You'll find a wrapped up present in one of my closet's drawers, you can throw it away if you want, I just thought I'd get you something before I pass.

Happy Early Birthday！

Droplets of tears started to pour onto the paper with your writings on it. The paper crumpled because of how tight he was gripping the letter. His eyes were shut as tears were slipping out from his eyes. He let the tears fall and feel the agony once again.

If he only knows that it will be the last day where he will able to see you, the last day of hearing you say I love you to him, the last day where he can feel your warmth, the last day where he can hug you, and the last day... where he can see your last warm smile again.

If only he knew, if only he knew... he wouldn't let you go and hug you as if it's the last day of Earth, he won't let you go in his arms and just stay with him. If he only knew...

Sanemi stood up and trudges to the drawers where your present to him was. Once he finds the wrapped present, he immediately ripped the wrapper and detected that it was a wristwatch that he was staring at in the mall when you two were shopping.

He pursed his lips into a thin line and bit his lower lip. He holds the present ever so tightly and cried in guilt.

"I love you so much, (Name)... you're already enough gift to me... you're already enough..."

Sanemi rummaged to your drawers and saw a pink box in the corner of your closet. He immediately took it and open the lid of the box.

Various pictures you both have were inside the box, it was full of your pictures together whenever you're on your date. All the pictures when you're still in high school and up to this year. The box also has the red and gold ribbon flower kanzashi that he brought for your birthday. He took the kanzashi in his hands and stared at it; retrieving the time how you would always use it on your hair and how beautiful you look while wearing it.

He really misses you a lot.

While he was looking at the pictures, he instantly noticed a silver peeking from the various pictures. Sanemi swiftly brushed the photos only to find the engagement ring he brought for you and the day when he asked your hand for marriage.

Taking it, he clutched it in his hand and closed his eyes. He feels so much distress that he couldn't handle it even if he wants to. All the memories that you both have been flashing back into his mind and the tears were pouring out unobstructedly once again.

He mourned about you, he feels so derelict to what he had done to you, he feels empty and broken inside. No one can ever heal the severe wound in his heart and you're the only one who can restore it again. But you're not alive anymore, you're already gone, you no longer exist in this world anymore.

He only clutched the ring in his hand and place it onto his chest where his heart was as if he was hugging it-- as if you're the one he's hugging this instant.

"I'm so sorry, (Name)... I fucking miss you so much..."

Sanemi was at the place where you and he first met and the place where you also confessed your love to him at that time. Reminiscing how you're being bashful of confessing your love and how your cheeks dusted in red hues, he can't help but chuckle at the nostalgic memories.

It was spring, a new season where the snow had finally thawed and cherry blossoms began to flower while its petals were dancing through the wind.

Under the cherry blossom tree of the school where you two have studied and where he was teaching right now... he stared at the beautiful cherry blossom tree swaying with the spring's young wind. A small smile formed on his lips while the engagement ring of yours was in his hand.

Sanemi kneeled and dig a hole where he can bury the ring you had left with him.

When he's done burying your ring, he stared at the ocean-like exquisite sky of the bright spring chill with a contented smile.

This is the place where it all began; the first meeting with you, the friendship, the confession, the romantic relationship, the acceptance... he wouldn't forget those treasured memories with you and he will forever engrave it into his mind.

He remembered what you have written on the photo where you accepted his proposal.

"You're my first and last love, Shinazugawa Sanemi."

Sanemi chuckled, "You're my first and last love too, (Name). You're the only one..."

"Shinazugawa-sensei! We need your help for this lesson!" Sanemi heard Tanjiro's call to which he snapped out from his deep trance.

"Yeah, I'm coming, brat!"

Sanemi takes a glimpse at the cherry blossom for a moment and slowly grinned. Once he's pleased with staring, he started to turn around and leave while hands were inside his pockets.

Sanemi concluded; a feeling of penitence will forever remain in his heart.