#hehahugheueh i love my dickroy headcanons

[yaraaflor]

how i think a dickroy wedding would go:

for a long time after they settle down together they’re not married. roy doesnt believe in the institution of marriage and refuses to participate. dick is secretly disappointed but he would never want to push roy into something roy doesnt want, and he knows they dont need a piece of paper to prove their commitment to one another. 

but fast forward a couple years, one of their kids, lian or mar’i (probably lian bc she spent most of her life wanting her daddy to find a life partner and be happy) is like “so when are you gonna get married? i wanna be a flower girl!!” (even though lian’s been a flower girl in like, 4 weddings already). and roy is like shit. should we get married? and dick cant hide his pure joy at being asked that question and roy is like double shit. have you been wanting to get married this whole time and im holding you back from your dreams?? alright guess were getting married!

at first they agree that its gonna be a small wedding, just family and close friends, no fuss. but their families are huge. and then they sit down to start writing the guest list and its like wait we cant leave so-and-so out and dont forget about so-and-so until the list is like three hundred people and theyre like. shit. were both too popular for our own good so we have to invite the entire superhero community.

huge wedding means mucho cash so bruce swoops in and is like we can host the wedding at the manor?? i can hire planners etc? and dick is like. fine with it bc he knows its bruces way of showing he loves them and that he accepts roy is part of the family now. but bruce is definitely gonna be a mother-of-the-bride-zilla lmao. originally roy wanted nothing to do with wedding planning except for picking the cake, but when he finds out that bruce wayne, control freak extraordinaire, is taking over the plans hes like oh HELL no. and promptly enlists dinah and ollie to also help plan the wedding. 90% of the wedding “planning” turns into roy and bruce arguing about every minute detail while the poor wedding planner tries to play referee and dick is off with lian like “lets go pick out your dress sweetie!” while also solving cases and generally burning the stick at both ends up until 2 days before the wedding.

they try to have separate “bachelor” parties on the same night and roy goes to a strip club but hes actually bored by it and the separate parties all end up together at donna and kory’s apartment at the end of the night and dick gets too drunk so he and roy sleep on their couch, piled on top of each other. they consider a honeymoon but roy doesnt want to leave the kids that long and theyre playing with fate anyway by hope an alien invasion doesnt happen on the day of the wedding, so they figure the honeymoon can come a few years from now.

the day of the wedding arrives and roy is surprisingly chilled out, just like oh, well, guess whatever happens will happen! we planned as best we could! while dick, predictably, has a panic attack about whether hes trapping roy and ruining his life and blah blah blah. eventually he calms down and the actual ceremony goes pretty well. connor is roy’s best man and donna is dick’s. lian (and maybe mar’i) is INDEED the flower girl and she enjoys it immensely. cerdian is the ring bearer. they have a justice of the peace preside so its actually super quick. ollie cries. clark cries. half of the room is crying actually. bruce doesnt cry but jason swears he saw a tear or two in his eye.

the reception is the best part. diana brings themysciran wine so most of the metas can actually get drunk. people give speeches and there is more crying, even during damian’s. donna is taking pictures nonstop despite the fact that bruce hired a photographer (hers are better anyway). they party from the afternoon into late in the night bc everyone is having such a good time. clark leaves to save a sinking boat at one point but no ones upset. bruce sneaks out to patrol gotham for an hour and everyones upset. alfred yells at him. the titans coordinate a group sort of performance telling the story of dick and roy’s love. its mostly wally speeding back and forth pretending to be them having a conversation about how much they love each other. as everyone gets progressively drunker, they start telling more stories that they shouldnt be bc roy and dick invited their like 2 non-super friends too lmao. 

it starts raining at like midnight so everyone leaves (its a miracle the rain waited so long bc its gotham). dick and roy say their goodbyes and head off to their hotel suite in the city (roy refused to spend one more minute near bruce). as soon as they get there they collapse from exhaustion and spend most of the next day nursing hangovers. then they end up patrolling that night bc dick is obsessive and roy loves him despite that lmao. its a wonderful time and roy never once regrets giving in to the institution of marriage.