#heh... whats lookin good cookin

[rds-passerine]

Hi hiiii!

-✨

Well hello there you sparkly lil thang

[nathandrakeisabottom]

⋆ Nathan Drake: Domestic Headcanons ⋆

The long-awaited, completely unasked for companion piece to @durrtydawg's Sam domestic headcanons piece. Revel in my self-indulgent, self-absorbed, and grotesquely specific fantasies of getting to call Nathan Drake my house husband. A house husband who jumps off speeding trains with a handgun on the occasional Thursday.

Not only does our pretty boy Nathan Morgan need someone who grounds him— (though that can mean many things; Nate is anything but a one type man)

But for someone who he genuinely believes won’t judge him for who he is

With them, every morning is peaceful and slow 

Will come up from behind before breakfast with a slow grasp at their waist, a delicate kiss he doesn’t break for a good few seconds against his partner's cheek or neck (will literally sigh into it)

And he fucking loves if they do the same for him

Everything is slow and silence and sighs

(He’s rarely so fucking quiet, and he appreciates someone who he feels comfortable finally letting everything go for. His voice gets hoarse with how much he’s always screaming and snarking)

Will shudder more from morning intimacy than straight up sex; if he’s surprised by kisses up his back as he makes some (admittedly, pretty runny) eggs, he'll accidentally drop and shatter dishes like nobody’s business

Speaking of which, only ever gets the cheapest plates/cups because he’s always fucking breaking them (thrift store, preferably)

James Taylor, Norah Jones, Michael Buble, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and (oddly enough) Barbra Streisand for relaxing morning music 

And will white man boogie with a comically bit lip if they quietly, affectionately look at him for long enough 

Speaking of: despite his best efforts, as he starts to wake up, he’ll grow increasingly jokey and self-aware (but soft lil’ earnest boy always comes back eventually)

Will take all the trash and recycling out in one clean go, tucking shit between his bent elbows and under his chin; He’s not afraid of a challenge yes he can fucking do it by himself NO SHUT UP HE’S GOT IT

His partner hears the clang of soda cans falling on the pavement twelve seconds later

A Trader Joe’s BITCH

As much as he loves some sensory overload and a bajillion snack options, big supermarkets kinda overwhelm him

Also they’re always more expensive and this boy is a complainer (and if he can make his partner laugh while he’s dramatically whining, even better)

Literally the man who ACTIVELY LAUGHS at the names of products 

“A Blueberry WALKS Into A Bar? Do you get that? BAR? Oh, that’s goddamn hilarious.”

And then will laugh for a good minute in the aisle; fuck the old people side-eyeing him from the dairy section 

Overbuys groceries rather than underbuys; there’s a lot of food he doesn’t realize has gone bad until it’s actively going into his mouth

Expect to be investing in a good broom, because he constantly needs one

Will open a bag of frozen peas from the wrong side and all of a sudden he’s spilling the entire thing onto the hardwood floor

He just hangs his head with a long, forlorn sigh

God fucking dammit

And huffs before power-walking to the closet

But at least he’s used to it; he’s got a broom in every place he can hide one now 

LOVES to cook, but that doesn’t mean he’s good at it

Probably just likes the theatrics: catch him in double oven mitts and a dozen hand towels at the ready and a novelty apron that says “spooned with love”, “rubs his own meat”, “mister good-lookin’ is cookin’”, or “license to grill”

King of wearing an apron and nothing else without telling; loves surprises and loves giving them almost as much; and will absolutely play coy about it (“I’m just baking out here!! What are you screaming about?”) 

Relatedly, loves stealing his partner’s shirts without telling, especially if they’re too small

“Baby tees are for big, strong babies like me.” “But you’re gonna stretch mine out!” “Heh-heh. Nice.”

Is a fucking sucker for any sort of gender role switch, but also can’t help the flutter in his heart when he sees his partner doing his laundry 

It’s the intimacy of another person touching his clothes and wanting them to be soft for him; loves if they have to reach kinda high to hang them up in his closet, too

Fucking loves to make love to his partner— and yes he loves the phrase “make love”, leave him alone— or hell, do anything to them while the washer is going on heavy duty wash cycle 

Somehow related, but is a hippie at the best of times. Women got off using washing machines before there was anything else and it’s a part of history and now they are too and isn’t it beautiful we’re not all so different isn’t life and history beautiful

Loves smoking weed once there’s a lengthy enough break with his partner, coughs and needs water every time (“nah, I don’t need it” — starts hacking to fucking death)

Loves a local mall trip: J Crew, Abercrombie & Fitch, and REI are his go-tos; he always needs an excuse to go out

“Jeez, is this what the kids are wearing these days?” in any store that isn’t those three

Every time there’s a big ad of a hot guy in a canoe or a girl smiling so hard it looks like her teeth are gonna pop out, he loves to outlandishly mimic their expression to make his partner laugh

Touchy, clingy, whiney 🥺; uses a body pillow and weighted blankets when he has to spend the night by himself

Needs to be the small spoon (at minimum) once a week, otherwise he gets sad and grumpy but isn't quite sure why

“Let’s get some new furniture.” “What? We have Ikea right next door! I can just make it!”

Drills a hole too big or loses the most important screw and has to go buy new furniture anyway 

Adores above all else impromptu massages: whether it’s on the couch or in the bedroom when he’s on his belly watching TV; moans more shamelessly during those than he even does during sex

Those massages often turn into him begging his partner to ride him… or he just fucking falls asleep

By the way, will fall asleep in any position or location you could possibly think of; a habit from his childhood when he didn't have a bed to sleep in

Snores and drools, but not loud or wet enough to be too annoying

2 in 1 shampoo. One bar of soap.

Unless of course he’s all out or… curious about what delicious-smelling shit his partner has; maybe it’s like the reverse of when a dog pees on something to claim it. Something like that.  

Get. him. flowers. His favorites are daffodils.

Really into helping out in his community: soup kitchen, pet shelters, planting trees or veggie seeds for community gardens— and then will abruptly stop because he’s tired and doesn’t feel like doing it anymore 

Until the next summer when he sporadically goes — “You know what we should do?!”

King of late-night karaoke bars (especially if he gets wasted and busts into a weepy song that totally kills the mood)

On the same note, a big musical theatre lover. Wine and dine him!

Loves a dog, wants a dog, needs a dog

Never fucking trains or reprimands the dog but whatcha gonna do

Gets both super shy and vulnerable and horny when he's actively referred to as a “husband” ; loves a good big business partner/house husband roleplay (whether horny or just a joke)

Please, oh god please, do shortform improv with him every time he starts doing a bit

Living with Nathan isn’t always easy, or frankly cheap, but is so fucking gentle and so fucking happy, that you can no longer imagine a world where your life was anything but 🌼💙🗺️

If you hurt him, OP (and Sully) are out for BLOOD.

[swampstew]

1-800-GRANDLINEBLING ♥ Call Me On My Shell Phone

To celebrate 1K+ followers, I opened up phone lines to the crews! Part 3 of 3 ~ X reader with Franky, Brook, Zoro, and X2 Law for @lil-skelly-bones @starblazer124 @sunshinegat0r @strawheart-pirate @writing-yarn-goblin Part 1 | Part 2

You are now being connected to...

Purururu purururu puru—

Franky: What's cookin' good lookin'? My crew is going to be making port in a few days and I wanted to know if you want to hang out. I mean, only if you enjoy going to shows and concerts and stuff. You know me, I always bring the party. Stop playing, you know you love hanging out with me. Heh is that so? Alright, I can do that. I look forward to seeing you. We're gonna have a SUPER Great Time!

Maybe the best thing I've ever done was wait. I made an art form out of endurance. You were worth every single moment - Tyler Knott Gregson

Brook: Yo-ho-ho! Hello my dear, I deeply apologize for the lag in communications recently. The lines were dead, just like me! :D Thankfully, we'll be reaching land in a days time and I was hoping you'd have some freedom in your schedule to pencil me in! You do? Wonderful! I'll be there posthaste. I've brought you some more trinkets and oddities I think you'll enjoy, and as always, I'm the oddest! YOHOHOHO

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you ― Elbert Hubbard

Zoro: Hey, how have you been? Good, listen um I'll be in your area and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out. I know you like going to the botanical gardens and I know there are some you've been wanting to go to, I can take you if--oh? Yeah no sure, that sounds good. Alright, I'll see you in two days. Yeah yeah I missed you too...

You weren't surprised when you got a follow up call to pick Zoro up. Allegedly, there had been an issue with his transportation and when you pulled up to the scene, you were very confused about the minivan full of yarn and wool that Zoro was resting on.

"Hey! This was my ride until it broke down. I replaced the tires but I don't know shit about engines so we called roadside assistance. As thanks for the tire replacement, these ladies will give you as many spools of fiber you want. Go nuts."

With an excited squeal, you picked a conservative number of spools before throwing your arms around the Marimo who blushed profusely. He helped carry them to your car and the two of you began your trek to the botanical gardens.

The first stop - and to Zoro's horror - an outdoor garden with a hedge maze.

After getting lost and hitting your sixth dead end, he let out a frustrated sigh, " You're supposed to be the one with directional skills."

"I wanted to see how bad with directions you really are," you teased him back.

"Heh, well now you know I'm unreliable," he gave you a sheepish smile. "Speaking of, I know you said you had some accrued vacation time. I was wondering if you'd like to come with us on our next voyage. We ship out next week. I could use really use the help to not get lost...if that's something you're into..."

You didn't waste a second, "Yes! I mean, if you really want me to come with."

Zoro gave you a surprised look, "TCH of course I want that, why do you think I asked? It sucks being away from my---," he looked at you with wide eyes, "My...my..." he trailed off.

"Your what?" you asked with big does eyes.

"From...us...you..." he finally drawled out. The seconds dragged before Zoro put on a brave face and tentatively kissed you for the first time. "So if you want to like...be with me or whatever...you should travel with me."

Law: Hey honey, I hope you've been well. Listen, I'll be coming ashore sooner than expected so don't make any plans alright? I want to take you out and spend all my shore time with you before the next trip. I'm looking forward to cuddling in bed and trying out those new restaurants you told me about. I also picked up an indie game from the last island I visited, I know you're going to love it. I'll see you soon!

There is something about falling in love with a beautiful mind that makes me crave their skin. As if gripping onto the back of his shoulders whilst my body is pressed beneath his is all I've left to save me from drowning - Cindy Cherie

Law: Buenas tardes, amorsita. Did you eat lunch already? Good, good. No, I'm not doctoring you - I'm just making sure my girl is doing well. Can't help it. Heh - you're always spicy, mami. I'll be visiting in a few days, can I take you out? Really, I can stay with you? You're so sweet. Ok, can't wait to spoil you when I see you. Vegan donuts? Say less, I'm there! See you soon.

"Here, I know it's not that cold out, but you'll need it for later," Law smirked at you as he handed you an oversized bag. Opening it, you found a magenta colored fur coat - not all the different from his own blue coat.

"Oh? What's going on later?"

"Nope, you're not allowed to ask questions. Go pack a bag and I'll set up lunch. I also got you this cute headset for when we game together," he said with a shy smirk.

You knew Law was a romantic, deep down, and it was so cute seeing himself open up like that to you, so early in your new relationship too.

"Let's just say, I'm going to sweep you off your feet tonight, and every night we spend together."

[ask-swansea]

Heh…………*leans on expensive car* what’s cookin’ good lookin’?😼😼😼

Paella, in my dreams..

.....how did you get a car in here?

[dukealicious]

Well hello

What's lookin good cookin

-heh.... mod mj....

I'll be honestly i had to read that through like 3 times

Hi, mod mj

[normalest-employeer]

whats lookin good cookin nookin... heh🌹 [proud]

>" Oh god not again."

[ssakurakissxoxo]

hey handsome....

whats cookin good lookin... heh..... puts rose in mouth and tries to slide into the room but falls flat on my face

Oh, how romantic.. Blushes (〃ω〃)

[curly-capt]

Heh what cookin good lookin

I'm not allowed to cook on the Tulpar, I'm only allowed to make the cake because I'm the only one permitted to do it.

..

I almost set the kitchen on fire last time.

... Thanks for the compliment, though!

[roachpuppie]

heh what's cookin good lookin... u taken yet🤤🤤

yeah by the prettiest smartest most wonderful girl in the world.

[oakshade]

what's cookin good lookin *leans on nothing and winks* what next will you draw?? i'm sure it's my favourite ship, heh..

Unsure! I just got a new laptop and I'm catching up on all the PC games I previously couldn't play AHHDDHG I have NOT drawn anything, nothing is cooking, the stove top is Cold

[distinguishablesong]

wwwwiwi..... heh,.. what's cookin' good lookin'....,.,.,.,,..,

Doodle

[kankri-irl]

heh… what’s cookin good lookin! [proud tiktok emoji]

this pr96a6ly isnt what y9ur asking in any way shape 9r f9rm 6ut ive 6een drawing ig

[swampstew]

Hi Raven! I really love all your Eustass Kid content so thank you for blessing us❤️‍🔥 I wanted to request a direct line to Franky for the Call Me on My Shell Phone event, pretty please😌 My pronouns are she/they, he’s my situationship and we have a bit of a love/hate thing going🫣 5 favorite activities/hobbies are traveling, going to concerts, general hijinks/rapscallion behavior, eating, and watching movies🎬 My top two aesthetics are scene/emo and psychadelic🌀Thank you and congrats on 1K!!!🎉

Hey, aww thank you so much, that means so much to me! I hope to continue bringing my thottiest behavior this year for my mans :D I hope you like your moodboard!!!!

You are now being connected to your boo-thang…

Purururu purururu puru—

Franky: What's cookin' good lookin'? My crew is going to be making port in a few days and I wanted to know if you want to hang out. I mean, only if you enjoy going to shows and concerts and stuff. You know me, I always bring the party. Stop playing, you know you love hanging out with me. Heh is that so? Alright, I can do that. I look forward to seeing you. We're gonna have a SUPER Great Time!

Maybe the best thing I've ever done was wait. I made an art form out of endurance. You were worth every single moment - Tyler Knott Gregson

[literallyjustmabill]

Mabill- And What Happened at Her Senior Prom

This was a one-shot I wrote awhile back that will (hopefully..) be in a fanfic I'm working on!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Yeesh.” Mabel complained as she splashed her glittery face with ice cold sink water. She was not expecting to spend her senior prom in a public bathroom. Her previous wonderful date confessed to her his sexual identity after she confessed to forgetting to put on deodorant outside of the sad place their high school had reserved for prom. Mabel was startled- to say the least by his sudden confession- but supported him nonetheless. “Godspeed, Mark. Godspeed.” The brunette murmured to the cracked mirror framed with various stickers that lazily hung in front of her.

She smoothed out her silky purple dress for what felt like the millionth time before sighing again. “Geez Dipper, if only you could see me now,” Mabel murmured before pulling out a deeper masculine voice to hide her feminine pitch. “and the woman I’ve become.” She managed through giggles before bursting out into bubbly laughter. They had been separated for a year now- which had been hard on both twins. Morning routines filled with karaoke and fast food breakfasts were swapped with their parents separately driving them to their respective schools. Dipper with their mother, (who worked at a law firm so she had to get up much earlier) drove an hour away before the sun showed, while Mabel and their father drove at a (usually) late 7:50. They hadn’t been able to spend much time together since.

Dipper’s new magnet school offered exciting clubs and a vigorously competitive grading system, which he happily snatched up. This, along with his new car and driver’s license, offered him endless independent opportunities before he would return to Gravity Falls with an internship with their Grunkle Ford. With all of Ford’s degrees that leveled from Phd to Doctorate in extensive fields of the sciences and research, the college board was happy to provide Dipper with an unusual learning opportunity. The excitement was contagious, leaving Mabel with boundless amounts of joy for her brother, even if she barely saw him on weekends and occasionally sneaking back into the house at late hours. And her parents thought she was going to be the stereotypical mischievous teen sneakin’ in at midnight! Ha.

She wanted to be happy for him- desperate even. Well, of course she was happy for him, it’s just… his path was always so crystal clear while hers was as dirty as the mirror she was currently staring into. The brunette scrunched up her face at the sight of it. Bah. Pathetic.

“WHAT’S COOKIN’ GOOD LOOKIN’?” A familiar voice sang as two hands stretched out the mirror’s surface from the other side… or seemingly the other side anyways. The dreamscape would be a better word for it, but also a worse word to excuse to unknowing others.

Mabel’s face immediately stretched into a smile with her freckles aligning her dimples. “Ayyy there’s my best demon friend! Wassup stranger?” Mabel beamed with awkward hand guns waving before booping his bow tie.

“I”M YOUR ONLY DEMON FRIEND, KID. AND DON’T TOUCH THAT. IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.” Bill spoke with an arm at his side and the other moving in a circular motion like he was going to conjure up another cursed entity. Mabel had seen her fair share of those. The dog-cow was surprisingly cute, but the cow-dog on the other hand…

She grimaced at the memory while Bill took notice of the shiny decorations adorning the sides of the mirror. “HEH, NICE DECORATIN’ STAR. I WOULD’VE ADDED MORE SCRATCH N’ SNIFF THOUGH. WONKA WAS AHEAD OF HIS SHORT MISERABLE LIFE WITH THOSE FLAVORS.” The demon reminisced before cackling.

“Yeah…” Mabel trailed. Normally she would have gone off on another tangent concerning Bill’s latest acquaintance, but her mood was turning increasingly sour like a lemon head. The demon took notice of it as well.

Bill wasn’t exactly accustomed to displaying sympathy of any sort. Hell, he destroyed his home planet at the snap of his “fingers” without batting an eye. (Besides blinking it several times due to the heat generated from the aftermath.) But damn… with Shooting Star around he began to feel more gross human emotions. Or maybe it was Ford’s doing. Eh Sixer isn’t the point, the point is seeing her in that sorry state made his eye twitch. And boy was eye twitching ANNOYING!

“SAY��� WHERE’D THAT HOT DATE OF YOURS GO ANYWAYS?” Bill, of course, knew the answer because he had seen the EXACT FUCKING CONVERSATION THROUGH A PUDDLE, but hey what else is a powerful dream demon supposed to do? Sit around and ask Shooting Star to spill her emotions out like last Tuesday's lunch? These flesh bags sure were complicated.

“Oh, Mark decided to muster up his courage and ask out Sam.” Mabel shortened while picking at a sticker on the mirror. They may hang out a lot, but she wasn’t exactly comfortable sharing what she felt other than on whatever concoction (putting it lightly) Bill had strung together. “Looks like this dress and my good attitude will go to waste.” She said with a sad chuckle. In fact, the twin was already planning routes of escape and what activities to do at home. Sure, Mabel had friends at prom too, (though most were boycotting after what their homophobic music teacher said) but she couldn’t seem to bring out her joy through thick clouds of rain. Mark abandoning her brought up her hidden strong emotions towards her brother and their future apart.

“YESH KID, YOU LOOK DOWNER THAN LEWIS WHEN I GAV- WHEN VANCOUVER, GRESHAM AND BEAVERTON STOLE THE FRUITS OF HIS LABOR!” Bill spoke with comedical sarcasm as both arms drooped down to his sharp sides. Mabel continued her sorry state and didn’t take the bait for a tangent. That was surprising. Images flashed in his eye as ideas rolled by.

“SAY I’LL TELL YOU WHAT: I’LL HELP YOU GET THROUGH THOSE OTHER HORMONAL FLESH BAGS IF I CAN TAKE A PEEK INTO THAT JOURNAL PINE TREE HAS. DEAL?” He offered as his hand sprung up in front of the girl’s unmoving face. She scrunched her nose up in distaste and punched his side causing laughter to erupt from the demon. Maybe telling Bill what his self from her timeline caused was a mistake after all.

“I’M ONLY KIDDING STAR- YEESH!” He sniggered and casually sprung out of the portal and into his meaty form. Boy, was that transition painful, but at least he could conjure up a presentable one of his own. “Yes, this one did quite nicely.” Bill thought as he nonchalantly stratigned his bowtie out.

“C’MON.” The now human Cypher said with a hooked arm offered to the sad brunette. Mabel only giggled and swiftly took it.

The room was vastly crowded once they entered it from the drastically different toned hallway. High School kids danced like there was no tomorrow in the middle of the dance-floor-like-mosh-pit, while at the right groups huddled to chat, snack, and DEFINITELY not drink sneaked alcohol. There was also a hacky-sack station left unencumbered that was set up by the staff. Teachers not-so-tightly “supervised” students from afar while DEFINITELY not drinking from personal flasks.

Bill's eyes lit up in marvel. Alcohol drinking, alcohol spiking, alcohol- most of his ideas concerned alcohol. Maybe this night wouldn’t be so bad after all. Hell, every night with Shooting Star was an adventure- this was no exception. And he would make it the best f*cking night of her life.

“FOR YOU, DOLL.” Bill snapped his fingers and a lovely white corsage appeared on Mabel’s left wrist.

“Oooo!!” Mabel squealed. “Hell yeah! Now THIS is a real prom now! Mark took the one he bought for me to Sam so this is perfect!” She lifted up his arm to lightly kiss atop his gloved hand. “Why thank you my kind sir!” Mabel brightly smiled and bounced off to check out the snack selection. Bill’s face burned hotter than three hells. He, of course, knew the feeling because he had been to the three hells dimension- which was nothing like the inferno’s nine levels.

“WHEW.” He spat and adjusted his marvelous bowtie again.

By the time he strolled his way over to the arrangement of nutrients-filled delectables, Mabel had already stuffed her face with hand-made cheese crackers and was chatting it up with some stranger. Some not-well-dressed-stranger. Bill adjusted his bowtie.

“Oh Bill, there you are! Here, open your mouth and close your eyes.” She giggled while completely abandoning her previous conversation partner. The boy looked pissed, but shrugged his shoulders and walked off. Bill subconsciously widely smirked at the flesh-bound mortal’s actions before returning to what he should have been focused on: NOT some strange feeling caused by the child.

“THIS BETTER NOT BE RAT POISONING AGAIN.” He spoke and compiled.

“Oh my god Bill. That was one time. I SWEAR that box looked exactly like coffee sweetener!” Mabel exasperated at the recollection.

“YEAH YEAH PLAY TRICKS ON THE IMMORTAL ONE, WHY DON’T WE?” Bill crossed his arms before suddenly yanking them from their position in surprise of what the brunette sprayed in his mouth. It had a nasty taste and an awful consistency, plus not to mention its unlikable after-taste… he completely loved it!  “WHAT IS THIS DELECTABLE GIFT TO EARTH?” He remarked in awe at the girl.

Mabel laughed. “It’s easy cheese and it’s great on crackers… but really on anything else too!” He only stared at her for a few moments. “...I MUST SPRAY IT IN THE BOWL FILLED WITH STRANGELY COLORED LIQUID!” The demon plotted and reached across the table at her to grab the almost-empty bottle, tipping over a bowl of mix in the process.

She only laughed at his antics and tried to keep it out of reach. He was failing miserably at it too, until she suddenly snapped to attention on something else. “Ooo Bill! My song’s on! Let’s go!” The brunette squealed distractedly while the demon in question snapped his fingers to make the cheesy bottle appear in a hand. Bill had only just begun the process of “cheesy punch” (trademark pending) when he was dragged off to the middle of the floor by the overly-excited girl.

Ends up “prom dancing” was nothing like the formal dancing he had been taught. Their hands were interlocked as Mabel swung them both about the dance floor in several directions and occasionally into different couples. They’d both laugh and sometimes Mabel would apologize before they got back on track. Occasionally her demon partner would take the lead and spin her, but not long enough until she began to steer them differently. Songs came and went as hours flew by as quickly as Mabel’s short dark curly locks flew in the wind turbine of Bill’s spins. Before they knew it, there were only thirty minutes left.

“YOU’RE A PRETTY FINE DANCER, KID.” Bill pleasantly remarked as they stood to the side for a brief moment to catch their breaths. She beamed back at him. “Not so bad yourself, triangle.”

The raging lights slowed down in the room and the kid vomiting their insides out to the side didn’t seem half-bad anymore. Time seemed to literally stop- which Bill didn’t believe was entirely possible, but not unlikely. When the Time Police showed up, time definitely did stop for them. Out of paranoia and maybe… maybe a dash of fear he glanced at their surroundings, only to land on a teacher and that boy from before heading in their direction. Bill’s smirk fell into a familiar frown.

“That’s them, Mrs. Smithfield! There’s that man who’s not a student from here!” He yelled which stupidly gave them time to escape.

“Wait a second- wasn’t he the one putting something in the punch bowl?” The teacher recounted, only for the boy to shrug. “Probably.”

“WELL, SHIT. TAKE THE CHEESE AND RUN STAR!” Bill screeched and grabbed a surprised Mabel’s hand to drag her out of the auditorium’s doors- but not before grabbing the easy cheese bottle.

The duo laughed as they ran a few blocks away from the scene before stopping to catch their breaths. Boy, was a human body tiring to uphold. As if on cue, his stomach shook and burned unpleasantly. Pain may be hilarious, but hunger was far from a joking matter. “SAY SHOOTING STAR, KNOW A PLACE WHERE A GUY CAN GET SOME DECENT GRUB TO EAT?” Bill asked as he bumped her side with his elbow. (Which may have been a rhetorical question since he was an all knowing being of the universe.)

Mabel was delighted at the question. She was having the best time she’s had in months and didn’t want it to only end with a possible suspension. Or leave her in an unexhausted state of mind that would allow her to continue thinking about her future before she fell asleep that night. “Well… I do know a great diner not too far down the road! It should still be open. It’s always open at weird hours.” Mabel chipped which sprung her back into a spiral that concerned great memories she’d made with her brother there. Amongst the female twin’s dread, Bill only grimaced at the reminder of a certain diner back in Gravity Falls with not so fond memories with the twins.

“SPLENDID.” Bill spat as he transformed back to his regular demonic form to properly teleport them to the location that spilled unentionionly from Mabel’s mind… along with a river of anxiety. Looks like his plan was failing after all. He coughed and adjusted his bowtie before placing an arm on Mabel’s fabric clad shoulder.

In an instant, they appeared in front of the 50’s themed restaurant with Mabel’s stomach filled with nausea. “Oh boy, I’ll never get used to that.” She choked and crumpled into a ball as she hugged her knees. The sick feeling may have been caused by Bill’s teleportation, but the thoughts of her brother adding to the toll didn’t help either. They used to be so close. She even considered Dipper her best friend, and even with Bill now filling the role, Mabel still couldn’t seem to brush her brother aside like he did her.

When their senior year first began, they exchanged phone calls during lunch and facetimes while waiting for their respected parents to pick them up, but in the blink of an eye that all melted away like the harsh Californian sun. Phone calls were ignored and replaced with apology texts: “Sorry, I’m kinda busy right now. Call me back later Mabel.” The younger twin began to feel spiky dread arise in her stomach whenever she thought of reaching out to her brother. While he did respond to her, he never initiated a conversation. Mabel even tried to reach out to her parents with their predicament due to them always claiming that she could whenever she needed to do so. However, concern was met with silence and excuses. “Your brother’s going through a tough time too Mabel.” and “This isn’t his fault.” which caused her to sweep her emotions under the family rug to make room for her brother’s.

It was just her fault, wasn’t it?

Now back into the fleshy-uncomfortable human form, hunger seemed to evade him as his only concern was for Mable’s state. Even as their food was placed in front of them at their sticky table, Mabel hadn’t returned to her usual bubbly self that had shone brightly on the dance floor. Dunking a fist full of fries into her chocolate shake, the first of many tears strode down her beautiful face. Bill began to panic.

“WHADDYA THINK OF MY LATEST AND GREATEST CONCOCTION, SHOOTING STAR?” Bill managed through a concerned smile and wiggling eyebrows as he squirted the cheese onto his milkshake fries. The girl managed a small smile before returning back to her fries. Bill’s foot tapped anxiously against the black and white tiled floor. This was not going well. “..HEH BET I CAN DRAW A SMILEY-FACE ON THAT OLD GEEZER’S BALD HEAD WITHOUT HIM KNOWING.”

“..Hm... that’s nice.”

Emotions seemed to hit him like a truck all at once. Bill’s weird stupid human-consumed head couldn’t handle this situation that his usual calm demon demenor could. The confused demon slammed the tin bottle onto the table and left for the bathroom in one fluid motion, leaving a startled Mabel behind to be consumed in her own thoughts.

And just as quickly, or maybe with more rapid speed, Bill's thoughts swirled through his human form and spilled haphazardly onto the floor as he paced the gross state of a public bathroom. Yeesh, good thing the Time Police weren’t around or they would sense his disastrous mess a mile away. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. Through a few seconds of utter agnogy (that was surprisingly unwelcomed and not hilarious) the demon was back to his natural form to help him think better. Thoughts shifted through his eye as he processed why his situation was bothering him so effectively. Sure, he had watched Mabel experience hardships in the past well and good SO WHY THE HELL NOW?

“OH.” Bill voiced his realization as he furrowed his eye. Hm, well that explanation didn’t suit him either.

Bill strode out of a path in the back and slammed some amount of (probably) American currency onto the table next to the cheese. “C’MON.” He spat and without waiting to get a response, dragged Mabel out of the diner.

Confused and blindfolded, a wonderful mix of a drink, Mabel appeared in a new location where the wind was strong but the smell of gasoline was stronger. Wind whipped through her shortly cropped chestnut hair as she struggled to release the garment that impaired her vision. “What the… Bill, what the hell are you doing?” Mabel exasperated as she struggled to remain her cool. She was in no mood to experience another one of Bill’s ‘fun surprises’. “Please, just take me home.”

A snap was heard next to where ever she was standing (that felt as rough as gravel but had the pleasant consistency of sand) and she was suddenly met with far away twinkling lights on the horizon. It was so beautiful outside in the clear open air. Well, mostly clear. It’s still California… as far as she was aware. Mabel’s worries melted into a puddle at her feet as she took in the breeze, mellow weather, …and fireworks wrapped in hazardous boxes surrounding the Hollywood sign’s feet with Bill stretched into a provocative pose on top?!? ...What in all things holy?

Bill struck loose jazz hands and a toothy grin once he realized she was staring at him with a “what the fuck are you doing” face. “TA DA! THE TIME HAS COME TO BLOW THINGS UP! THIS IS A VITAL POINT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.” He cheered while jumping back to her ledge. Her face hadn’t changed for the duration of his speech.

“Bill, I- this is so nice of you, thank you, but I really don’t think I can do this right now.” Mabel murmured as she took a few steps back and fiddled with the sides of her dress. There was no hesitation as Bill put his hands on her shoulders.

“LOOK…MABEL. I’M NOT THE BEST DEMON TO TALK TO ABOUT YOUR HUMAN TROUBLES, HELL I HAVEN’T EVEN MADE THE LIST.” He paused and Mabel felt the hold he had on her shoulders tighten. “BUT KIDDO, I’VE GOT SEVERAL EARS AND A FEW JARS OF PATIENCE TO LISTEN IF YOU EVER NEED IT.” To further emphasize his point, the dream demon conjured up a giant ear that had tiny ears sewn into it, along with several jars filled with strange liquids labeled “patience” that received a small laugh from Mabel. Bill’s human eyes lit up at that along with provoking a stupid grin.

The brunette finally lifted her eyes up from her very interesting shoes to meet his. “Thanks Bill… I really appreciate that, more than words can express.” She smiled and plopped down onto the gravel mixed dirt, which received a grimace from Bill. Ah, what the hell. He joined her as well after making the cursed objects disappear.

“I… I’m so scared, Bill.” Mabel started and hugged her knees. The demon suddenly realized it took everything in him to not put an arm around her shoulder. Well that was a disturbing realization. “Dipper’s found his path so easily… and he’s left me behind on my own. I don’t know what I want to do with my future. Hell Bill, I’m a senior about to graduate and I haven’t applied to any colleges!” She choked out as more tears of frustration began to spill. “My parents are more concerned about the joy of Dipper’s future than my own! It sucks. It really sucks to hear all the time.”

Oh boy this was going to be hard. What’s a demon supposed to do in a situation like this? Obviously basic 101 trick tourture, but that probably wasn’t a good idea. Apart from all better judgment, Bill put an awkward arm around Mabel’s shaking shoulders. She paused for a moment, before moving to force him into an embrace and cry into his already ruined suit’s chest. They stayed like that for what felt like hours to the uncomfortable demon before he decided to change into something a bit more comfortable.

With the snap of a pair of human fingers, Mabel felt the fabric she was currently sobbing into change. It was a bit rough, but overall fluffy and pleasant to lean into. In fact, the scent and color were strangely familiar. VERY familiar. She paused her melt down to inspect the fabric from a farther view.

“Woah hold up- I thought you threw that out the car window?!” Mabel gasped in realization that he was wearing the sweater she had carefully crafted for him one sunny day. She was a self-claimed speed knitter.

“HUH? OH YEAH, YOU’VE GOT SOME SERIOUS TALENT KID. IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME CAPITALIST STRATEGY TO EARN CURRENCY OVER SOMETHING YOU LOVE.” Bill remarked as he rubbed the fluffy fabric of the sweater’s sleeve between his fingers. As a demon, Bill had never experienced what flesh bags of old age titled a “heart attack” but he thought his stupid human heart had given out when he heard one of the loudest gasps ever. And the demon had heard some LOUD inhuman noises.

“Oh my gosh Bill- that’s it! Wow... it was right in front of me this whole time and I didn’t see it!” Mabel cheered as she visibly lit up before his eyes and began her turn to shake his shoulders.

“AM I MISSING SOMETHING?” Bill puzzled amongst the impossibility of sitting still. Clearly she wasn’t angry at him… but this was an unexpected reaction for a change of clothes.

“Fashion design, Bill! That’s my future! Oh wow... thank you so much!” The brunette beamed as she held her blushed cheeks as if it would contain her excitement. In a swift moment that could have been missed in a blink of an eye, Mabel smashed her mouth onto the dream demon’s, and swiftly left to run down to where he had thrown the fireworks. In fact, Bill didn’t think Mabel even registered the action. Like it was something she stored deep inside of her for so long that it just felt natural. Well this definitely wasn’t good now.

Mabel had unknowingly reciprocated his weirdly unnatural human-like emotions. It stunned him… and nothing had startled him this badly in a while. How in the nine HELLS did she expect him to react after that?!

“Bill! Let’s blow some shit up!” She cackled and began to rip open the boxes.

“HELL-O.” He murmured while gripping the sweater probably where his heart was supposed to be, only for his hand to slowly fade through existence. Bill knew he had to tell Mabel soon, but the program was just getting good.

---------   (4007 word count)

[johannstutt413]

(requested by okami-flamed)

“Hey, dude, what’s cookin’?” The line that set the Doctor’s heart on fire every time he heard it announced itself from the threshold of his door.

“Not much, good lookin’.” He looked up at Aak from his desk. “Need something?”

The healer who refused to be a doctor shrugged. “Got a minute to chat?”

“Just a chat? Hmm, I dunno.”

“Sheesh, ya really gonna do this?” He walked around the side of the desk with a sigh. “You just saw me half an hour ago.”

The Doctor bolted out of his chair to ambush the Feline with a kiss. “And I already miss you~. You don’t have any chemicals on you, do you?”

“Nothing dangerous, nah.” They walked over to the couch and sat down - or rather, Aak sat down, and the Doctor flopped next to him, draping one leg over his boyfriend’s and snuggling close. “Just got done showing Dr. Blood who puts the ‘sir’ in ‘sirgeon,’ thought I’d come celebrate.”

“Aak, that’s not how you spell surgeon.” He giggled. “I swear, I wonder if you’re dating me just so someone will proofread your work for free.”

Aak grumbled. “You know better than that.”

“I do, I do~ It’s because I’m cute, right?”

“Closer.” He scratched behind the Doctor’s own pair of cat ears. “How’s work today?”

He sighed. “It’s boooring. Everyone’s happy, no one’s doing pranks, there’s no combat missions for me to direct. I’m just here at my desk as a formality, really. Can I come watch you do something cool?”

“You know, I’ve got something you can help me with, actually. New formula I’m working on, needs someone to try it so I can work out the kinks.”

“Are you sure you want me trying it, then?” The Doctor tapped his nose. “I might just make it kinkier.”

Aak chuckled. “Alright, then I guess you can’t come.”

“I’ll be good!” He tightened his hold around the Feline’s neck.

“Heh. Nah, it’ll be fine either way.” He patted the Doctor’s thigh. “Let’s go.”

He jumped to his feet and, once Aak stood up, locked arms with him. “Alright! Let’s go science something!”

“You tease me for my spelling and then say things like that?”

“Hey, I know I’m doing it!” The Doctor laughed. “So, you wanna tell me what today’s formula is?”

The Feline shook his head. “I wanna keep it a secret, in case Blood’s eavesdroppin’. You know how she gets when you come to my office to test something.”

“I keep saying she can have some, but she never takes me up on it. What’s she waiting for, you think?”

“My guess?” He smirked. “She wants more than your blood.”

The Doctor went back to laughing freely. “Oh, oh, that poor woman! Yeah, like I’d cheat on you with her, of all people.”

“Wait, who would you cheat on me with?”

“No one I’ve met yet,” he shrugged, still chuckling. “‘Salright, Aak. You know you’re the only guy for me.”

The Feline scratched behind his neck. “Heh, yeah...Alright, sit in the chair and strap your right arm in; I’ll do your left once I’ve got the syringe.”

“‘Kay!” The Doctor did as asked of him and waited - somewhat impatiently - for the mad cat to return.

“Alright, here. We. Go!” Aak spun a capped syringe between his fingers like a pencil as he walked over. After making sure the subject- his boyfriend was safely strapped to the chair by his wrists, he uncapped the syringe and stuck it in the usual spot. “There we go...A little wipe, something to stop the bleeding, and we’re good. How do you feel, my guy?”

He felt fine. “Pretty good, my man...Heheheh. My maaaaaan.”

“Stage one: euphoria. How many fingers am I holding up?”

“All of them.”

He rolled his eyes. “A number, please.”

“Five.”

“Good.” He made a note. “Feel anything from the waist down?”

The Doctor shook his head. “I can’t feel my toe- oh.”

“And there’s the second stage.” Aak grinned like the Cheshire Cat as the drug did its work.

“Did you make this for me?” His eyes were wide and sparkling. “Wait, did you-”

The Feline undid the wrist straps. “Happy birthday, babe.”

“Oh, you!” He pounced, covering him with kisses once he hit the ground.

“Love you, too, sheesh!” Despite the protest, he was laughing as well. “Glad you’re enjoyin’ yourself.”

At those words, the Doctor’s eyes lit up. “I want you to enjoy it, too.”

“I am already. Seriously, it’s like I gave you catnip or something-”

“No, I mean, I want you to enjoooy it.” He reached under Aak’s coat and started tugging at the bandage wrap around his waist. “Come oooon~”

The Feline chuckled as he loosened it just enough for the Doctor to finish the job. “This is what I get for making you a custom aphro, I guess. This is the only dose you’re getting today, by the way; still need to work out the side effects.”

“Okay, okay, now help me with your stupid pants, would you?”

“‘Course.” As he did, Aak was reminded of why he loved the Doctor as much as he did - because, he had to face it, that’s exactly what it was, no matter what he tried telling himself at the start. When it came down to it, the Doctor was the only patient he had that made him happy to know medicine.

That, and watching him trip on ‘nip was fucking hilarious.

[siglai]

Heh.. Hey there handsome...

Whats cookin good lookin...

callout post nazu is.. nazu... He's... he's G-G-G-GAY!!!!