#heed the tags this is gonna be a rough one folks

[sojourner-between-worlds]

They had saved the day. That should have been the end of the story. (It wasn't. It never is. After all, when the tale ends, the heroes are still there.)

“Let me know if you guys need anything.”

A moment later, the door swished closed behind Ushio, leaving Crow alone with his rampaging thoughts. He wasn’t sure where to start unraveling them; so much had happened in the last sixteen or so hours. It was a lot to process.

Bruno was gone.

Jack and Rua and Ruka had come a little too close to death themselves for Crow’s comfort.

He and Aki had almost been squashed, too. Literally .

Even that much was a lot, but then everything with Aporia and Z-ONE happened… It was no wonder Yusei had collapsed the way he did. He had managed to walk into the twins’ home mostly on his own (Ushio said he’d dozed off on the drive over so that probably had something to do with it), but he was still a long way from being okay. They all were.

Crow wasn’t sure what to do with himself now. The others were attempting to sleep, but he couldn’t join them yet, the thoughts in his head far too loud and refusing to be silenced. They had been going two hundred kilometers an hour since the Ark had first appeared in the sky, it felt like, but now that it was gone, now that the fight was over, he should be able to rest. So why couldn’t he?

[brimbrimbrimbrim]

The Seed of Human Kindness (The Ghoul/F!OC)

CHAPTER ONE/TWO/THREE/FOUR/FIVE/SIX

Summary: The Ghoul stumbles upon a piece of walkin' talkin' meat out in the Boneyard. Instead of eating her, he takes her on as his personal traveling chef. Only this chef is a smoothskin vaultie looking for the seed of human kindness, which is exactly what it sounds like, though comin' from a Vault of all women, she's gonna take some convincing on where to find it.Tags: Cannibalism, Sadism, Body Horror, Misandry, Dehumanization, Vault Experiments, Vault Dweller, Cunnilingus, Cum Play, Rough Sex, Power Dynamics, Breeding Kink, Explicit Sexual Content, Voyeurism, Non-consensual Exhibitionism, Sexual Awakening, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Male Character

A/N: This is nasty. Please heed all the tags for your fair warning before reading.

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The Los Angeles Census Bureau looks about as inviting as it did in the seventies: a delightful courtyard of bones and failed dreams bordered by brutalist cement beds spilling with dead flowers. As he and his spurs jingle-jangle up the pavilion, a decayed hand staked between two dead bushes catches his eye. A blooming stalk of bleached bone, phalanges bent into a middle finger like some 'fuck you' posey straight out of the afterlife. Call him a presentist, but just the fuckin' sight of it makes his lip curl. 

'Fuck the establishment, indeed.'

The Ghoul's been following this endless trail for a while now; turning over these little slices of American bureaucracy is just another dot on the map, but a barbeque on the wind has urged his heels into a proper trot. Hungry as he is. Savory, smokey… mouthwatering, bringing to mind Saturday cook-outs with Barb and Janey, that ol' good boy Roosevelt at his heels, waiting for burnt hotdog tails and the stray charred burger as the martinis pile up. Those good times were lived by another man playing a good old American boy role. Those bygone memories come like a miasma: toxic. It's delicious in its own right, and he's just lucky the aroma seems to be coming from this building right here. A 'kill two birds with one stone' scenario, it would seem. 

He can hear the muffled commotion of chaos inside and the clatter of something heavy. Judging by the reverb, a bullet snaps concrete. It must've hit wiring too because the sign above those broken doors flickers—time-yellowed plastic covering a photon tubing of loops and flourishes. 

'The American dream…'

A broken, clipped shriek presses out the thin crack of busted glass and splinted wood ahead of him. 

'Oh, if life ain't grand.' 

What once were crying mothers standing in the breadline are mothers on the breadline, he thinks, some of that ol' Cooper Howard making a show again. He pushes that moralistic nuisance down and surveys the exterior once more, and… judging by the crude bullseye bloodstains on a single Brahmin skull, used creatively to keep the doors ajar (not to mention the smell)… they're cookin' folks on a spit inside. Fiends, most like…

Still, two hundred years later, the LACB is where folks get eaten alive every day.

Quiet-like, The Ghoul enters Feind territory, The Gun heavy front and center.

The aroma of fatty meat, both freshly shorn and sour, curls under his nasal ridge, drawing him through the decayed lobby. He steps carefully, spurs quite over toppled queue barriers, avoiding broken glass and crunchy piles of clothes. There's a burnt stroller with tiny bones and floral blankets he chooses to ignore, giving them and its mother's remnants a wide berth, focusing intently on the triangle of flickering firelight cutting from the ajar breakroom door. 

Silent as a corpse, The Ghoul leans into the doorway, The Gun raised, and takes in the gruesome scene he's seen a hundred times, both worse and better but never benign. Eventually, someday, he won't feel sick at the sight of such horrors. Who's to say whether that'll be a good day or not?

There's five of them, counting a naked woman hanging from a crude bleeding rail, 'cept she ain't being bled out, just cut down slow and sweet, as if the fear and pain is the finest marinade. Her body jolts, and another wail rattles his eardrums as a rail-thin Fiend saws off another strip of thigh meat from her bucking body, tits bouncing with delicate pockets of curvy fat jiggling deliciously. 

The Ghoul's stomach growls, and something else further south twitches, but his empty belly is more worried about being without food for much longer. Nothing but vials and rainwater means he's more inclined to find human flesh aromatic. Thankfully, the pretty rotisserie's screams are so fucking loud it makes his unceremonious entrance nigh fuckin' soundless. There's no reason to announce himself anyway—no reason to keep any of 'em alive for questioning since he's sure none of these boneheads have worked a computer system before, let alone know how to read logs.

The first slug blasts a hole into the back-head of the closest one: a suit-wearing twitchy son of a bitch sitting by the fire. Their brains spray across their friend's face, who yips as some chunky bits catch with a hiss in the fire. With the second one blinded by brain matter, The Ghoul turns at the hip and blows off the arm of a ratty-headed man still beating his own meat to dinner being sliced and spitted. A shot from his rotating revolver beneath the jawline into the brain puts that one down, even though chems seemed to have ruined it already. 

That leaves two left. 

The blind bastard's still swiping grey slop, blood, and skull chips from his eyes as his buddy rushes on The Ghoul's left with a sticky knife, leaving the girl to sway on her ropes, panting and cursing the Lord's name. This one's mean, sadistic… having enjoyed eating that smoothie alive. He's got janky teeth bared like an ape, poised and ready to take The Ghoul to his grave… again. 'Course, a quick backhand of The Gun stock puts him to the ground with a yelp, and two .357s to the chest keep him there. 

'Three down. One to go,' he muses, cracking his neck with a grunt as the last one curses and snarls. Still blind but jet-fueled, his eyes open and swimming in red offal, the remnants of his hit still smoking out his mouth. He stands like some western cowboy at a sunset showdown. The man even looks the part with two bandoliers and some sweet cowboy boots. Cooper Howard smiles with his straight white chompers as the Fiend tries to unholster a gun that ain't there, spewing nonsense through his teeth, but Coop's dead and gone. 

"Ugghh—fuggin'ghoul, ruin'dinna!"

The Ghoul's grin turns ugly and strong. He's the gunslinger—the outlaw—death personified by time and decay—somethin' outta Hollywood again, just not the good guy. 

With a snap, aim, and trigger pull, the last little Fiend's no more than maggot-meal slumped over The Ghoul's first empty-headed victim. Their dinner has been officially ruined, well… more like taken over. With the barrel still hot, The Ghoul turns to the naked smoothie with a careful eyeful of flesh, ignoring the way her gaze squints in fear before surveying his efforts with frenzied understanding. She's either gonna die or she ain't, and it's clear which one she thinks is 'bout to happen.

"P-please… please. I-I can… I can-"

"Hush those tears now, sweetheart," The Ghoul cuts her off, wetting his lips for a dry whistle before holstering The Gun, "I ain't here to eat ya." Though he turns to the fire, drawn in by the smell of cooked meat and sustenance—the promise of a full belly and a level head for a time… it'd just take a half-pound of juicy, tender-

'No… not yet.' 

It takes a heaping spoonful of willpower to turn away, to look back at her without seeing a hanging steak, begging him to sink his fangs in, tear apart, and swallow hole. But The Ghoul manages, somehow. With a Cheshire grin, he thumbs his hat up, brim lifted to show off his radiated smile—proof he means no harm. And when her breath slows and her eyes shine over his chops, he's only slightly surprised to find her more curious than afraid.

"Welp, it seems your dinner guest's got a little too careless, leavin' the door open like that an' all. Could be anyone come walking through those doors."

He takes a step closer, daring her to scrunch her nose in disgust, though she just blinks… some old tears falling off her lashes. Minus some missing meat, a bloodied face, one shiner, and… maybe two weeks of constant immune system shock, she's too healthy lookin' to be anything but a Vaultie. A pretty little thing that only good food, shelter, and generational-bred naivety could create. The Ghoul already don't care much for her.

"You from one of those Vaults." He doesn't ask, all ambivalence and peckish know-how. His survival instincts lure him from her to the spit over the fire again, where it looks like some of her thigh meat is slow roasting. She's lookin' real fuckin' tender over the licking flames…

"S-seven," she pants, shock and pain makin' her sound small, "V-v-vault seven…"

The Ghoul makes a sound of understanding, though he couldn't give two shits these days about which of the Big Four's Vaults she came from, even less which fucked up experiment they ran down there. For some reason, her being a Vaultie makes him even hungrier…

He glances back at her over his shoulder and smirks, all crude oil and a lil' starvation there, too, no doubt. It's been weeks since he's eaten, and before that, it was expired cram and a soggy snack cake, and she seems to know it. The smoothie can see it—notes the look in his eyes and deduces quickly what he's thinking. At first, she yanks on the rope, choosing to struggle against her bonds, though that works as well for her as before he showed up… 'cept it gives him another free show of the goods usually hidden from his eyes. Her tits are perfect.

That southbound lurch kicks up his belly, threatening to confuse his ache for food for something else, so The Ghoul snaps his teeth and points a leather-bound finger her way.

READ THE REST OVER on AO3 HERE

[rose-blooms-red]

@universes-mystery you are a menace to society and I am in....so much pain

anyways, long story short, I have been convinced to make an updated fic post thingy after someone went through my blog and made me look at my old fics :’) 

So!! uhh yeah Ro Fic Hype Post take 2 lmao, i have too many fics at this point so im just gonna link some that made me happy or just that i remember having a grand time writing.

Star Wars

“Be the Rarepair content you want to see in the world”: Listing all the ones from this series would take too long. Just know that these were all a joy to write and that there is a Large Variety lol.

not something that you put to bed: my first foray into soft wars! lmao, i was super nervous with this one lol but I do still like it more than i usually like my fics! And i was happy with how this one came out. It’s Edee squad centric, specifically Neyo and Fox interaction and yeah, there’s a reason i joke that my brand is trauma recovery dkjfskjdf.

don’t break the bottle: my second go at soft wars and I do still like this one, it’s Cody and Neyo centric, around Cody getting Neyo’s pledge and dealing with leftover stuff from Priest’s training. There’s things i’d def try and do better but, its nice and not as bad as i feared nkjdfjnd.

sins of the father: this is a second person Boba Fett character study and I do actually still adore it. it kicked off it’s own series actually, that I cowrite with @graaaaceeliz and has expanded far past what i thought would be just a tiny little oneshot to put my boba and jango feelings. It was a fun adventure into writing in a writing perspective i dont use much and helped me get a bit of a grasp on both Boba and Jango

and the whisper in your head goes quiet: another 2nd person Boba fic, made people mad at me jdfnsjkf. Includes the hc that Boba had a chip and it malfunctioned and Jango had the Kaminoans remove it.

the hum in the air (and the gentle love): was really nice to write and i do still love how soft it is,though there are things i’d def change. It’s a soft little codywan oneshot with poetry.

gentling the edges: Neyo and babies, im just...so soft, there is so much soft

little darling: Fox and babies, because i am so soft still over babies and the older clones okay.

you will be alone, always: was a fun one, made some people cry lol. Obi-Wan centric, canon compliant, with hints of QP Codywan.

love or the lack of it: Bly and Neyo centric, lots of fun to write lol. Soft wars, and im still quite pleased with it. a bit heavy, heed the tags.

the art of the mind: Soft wars, Jet and Bacara Centric. i loved exploring them more honestly, i kinda wanna do something else with them.

Messing around in the soft wars sandbox: now that i think about it, just linking this series might be better XD a lot of the next few I was going to put are from here. It’s basically just all fics set within the Soft War’s AU by @thefoundationproject lol

(give me) something soft: one of my first fics in the Star wars fandom, It’s Kix/Agen and I’m still super soft over this pairing and writing this made me v soft.

the burning heat upon my back: another one of my first few fics in the star wars fandom, It’s an Anakin introspection type piece as I was trying to figure out how to write him and getting settled in the fandom.

like a lazy ocean (hugs the shore): Wingfic, Kit Fisto centric, hinted possible kit/monnk. This was just hilarious to write lmao.

calm your mind and quell your fears: Wingfic, Obi-Wan centric, soft, QP Codywan fluff.

name the child innocence: was fun, Wingfic, Jango Fett centric, it’s a lot heavier than the other wingfics tho, so heed the tags.

childhood (strong and full of foreboding): apparently i really like doing explorations on trauma and how the past can shape you and how you can shape yourself in spite of the past and things like that kjdsnkjsdf. It’s told in various Clone’s p.o.v and switches between Anakin and Obi-Wan’s Not Fun Childhoods.

hold your heart (be still): Ahsoka and Rex bonding! set in the same universe as childhood!

DC

the art of siblings is that sometimes you just wanna fight them: A lot of fun lol, batfam centric, the kids being Themselves and Dick is Exasperated lol

we lay here (for years or for hours): which is an introspection and sort of character study on dick that throws out any semblance of timeline or canon. trigger warnings for depressive and suicidal thought and major character injury

setting fire to our insides for fun (to distract our hearts from ever missing them): in which dick is sad, bruce is gone, and dick really just wants his dad, his sleep-deprived mind decides to be kind, because the world is not, this one made me sad

i have tried to hoard your love (and found it slipping through my fingers): a look at Jason and books, and the complex thing that is a childs need to be loved

fault lines: A fic about recovery and the difficulties, or; Dick Grayson and trauma, recovery, and his siblings. Something’s wrong with all of them but they work through it, eventually.

this one is a rough ride, still a WIP and it deals with a lot of heavy topics, flashbacks, trauma and discussions of the trauma, deaths, injuries, rape, broken relationships and dysfunctional ones, borderline abusive behaviour, talks about all of the above, and the healing process. Tread lightly with this one as it deals with heavy topics in it’s quest to say fuck you to certain dc writers.

Bnha

Shock: Kaminari feels, The dangers of electric quirks

Flicker: The Todoroki’s deserve better, Dabi is an angry child who misses his mama

All I’ve Ever Known: Genfic, Dabi is Touya, Fuck gender, Chronic pain, Touya/Dabi needs help

We go down swinging, My lovers and I: Shigadabihawks, Major Character Death, not a happy one folks.

[whumpqin]

Perfect the Way You Are

Next official chapter installment! This one was a little more difficult to write than I thought, but I pushed through and wrote it. This one’s kind of rough, heed the warnings!

Elisha tag! @faewhump @imagination1reality0

CW: Pet whump, creepy/intimate whumper, noncon touching (non sexual), dehumanization, knifes, torture used as punishment, fantasy racism, victim blaming, mentions of abduction, mentions of broken bones, lotta icky language in here by the whumper

Word count: 2,243

The knife slid into his stomach, cool metal biting against his warm, inflamed skin. Elisha keened, swallowing thickly against the scream that threatened the escape from his lungs.

“You’re perfect, you know that?” the devil’s voice whispered above him. A constant reminder of the hell he was in. “Jeremiah was right about one thing, you do take pain well. You take everything so damn well. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that fiery head of yours that makes you so reserved.”

“Pl-please… it, it hurts…” A hand was placed on the side of his face, smearing his own blood against him. 

“Shh, I know, pet.” Aridai pulled the blade out, finally letting him breathe without worry of further injury. That’s what they had told him to do, breathe. “It’s supposed to hurt. Now… recite your rules for me while I work on this next bit.”

This was the worst day of his life.

He hadn’t expected it to get any better, of course. They had abducted him. People who do that generally don’t have good intentions. But, for the most part, they left him alone in the dark to either starve or go crazy from the lack of human interaction and stimulus.

Today, Aridai clearly had other intentions. They had wanted a “de-stress” session, and after Elisha had affirmed his false name and his new rules they had gotten right to work cutting off of his shirt and sinking that knife into wherever they felt necessary. Even with the permission to use his voice, no amount of begging aided him against Aridai’s cruelty. Everything went unheard and there was no mercy granted.

“O-one. My, my Masters should, hnnk! Should always be ah, ad-addressed as Ma-Master..!” Elisha’s voice cut off in a shrill cry, unable to keep quiet any longer as Aridai’s knife dipped into his skin again. Terrified tears slipped from the corners of his eyes freely.

Elisha was humiliated at first when he was exposed. Embarrassed that someone else saw his thin frame besides the plants that sat next to his mirror back home. He had always been a private person, and this was just a violation of the boundaries he had put in place for a reason.

It was clear that Aridai had no boundaries. None besides the rules they set for everyone but themselves; a free spirit that rose above the masses of normal folk. 

“Good boy. You’re being so good for me,” they said, pleasantly smiling as if Elisha couldn’t see the metaphorical horns peeking from underneath their cardboard halo. “Keep going, Caleb.”

Two, hnk!” He squeezed his eyes shut as a long draw of the knife cut across his chest, continuing the pattern that only Aridai could see the product of. Like he was some carving of theirs. “Nev-never, hh, question your, nn, m-my Masters.”

Aridai had been angry with him. Elisha’s fear was so intense that he couldn’t stop himself when he tried to squirm out of their grasp, thrashing his tail around in unspoken anxiety. It was hard not to be afraid of someone approaching you with a knife, especially when your hands were tied behind your back and you were chained to a wall.

They had dragged him to the ground and straddled him, effectively preventing him from being able to pull away anymore. Then, Elisha had to face their ire, and he quickly learned that the only thing worse than Aridai was their vicious temper.

“Th-three. Do wha-what I’m, hnn, told, regard… regardless of the- ah, consequences..!” He gazed up to Aridai, pleading, and they only watched him with satisfaction.

“Good. That’s one you’re still working on, isn’t it?” They asked, a light tilt to their head. “Do you feel bad for being mean to me?”

“Ye-yes..! Yes, I do, please, I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I won’t pull away again, I won’t, I won’t..!” Bloodied hands found their way to his face again, this time with a thumb resting over his lips.

“No, you won’t, will you? You’ll learn to know better than to pull away from your Master. And you can stop that mumbling, now.” The thumb rubbed across his lips, gently, inviting for all the wrong reasons.

There was nothing that would provoke a Cambion’s instincts better than to wave a hand in front of their face. It was like asking them to bite you, an instinct whose origin was long forgotten to the old days. It was a lesson that Elisha remembered learning from his mother when he was young and naive and definitely not prepared for a world like this.

Everyone, who was smart, knew this. But most humans who knew well to avoid such things often spread rumors about the dangers of a Cambion’s bite. Elisha knew all it did was break the skin and draw blood, but everyone feared that their devilish nature would seep into them like a venom, tainting their bloodline and cursing their children. Like they were a wild animal.

What Aridai was doing was dangerous, but it was also a challenge. They were daring Elisha to bite, to go against his Master. They were waiting for another slip up.

Instead, Elisha shivered from the cold, wounds weeping blood as he stared up at them like an injured puppy. He merely swallowed, the only giveaway that he was thinking of anything at all, and made no move besides the occasional flick of his gaze as Aridai’s leg shifted. 

Finally, they smiled. “You’re so strange, Caleb. Though I guess that is the appeal.” Aridai’s hand withdrew and instead braced against his chest, preparing another series of cuts to complete their “carving”.

“Wha-what does..?” Elisha clamped his mouth shut, unsure if that was considered “questioning his Masters” or not. He didn’t want to chance it after he had already made them so angry.

“What? What was that? Did you say something to me?” Their gaze landed on Elisha, and he couldn’t tell if their expression was full of curiosity or fury. He couldn’t tell anything about them anymore. “Go on. I’m listening.”

“I-I’m sorry, I ju-just…” Elisha’s gaze frantically searched for something so that he could give them an excuse, something that would make them less angry. But his mind was already burning from the pain, as he quickly realized that he was out of options when Aridai laid the knife on a portion of his skin. “I-I don’t, don’t know what-what you mean…”

“What I mean? Oh! You mean your appeal? What makes you so interesting?” When Elisha nodded nervously, they laughed. Aridai was always laughing for some reason or another. “Oh Caleb, don’t sell yourself so short. You were like a little diamond in the rough.” A pause, a little light flickering on in their head. “I’m gonna call you that now. But, anyway, just a moment.”

They carefully carved more sections into his skin, finishing their work. This next part was more quick than the others, and Elisha was able to take some strange comfort in that. When Aridai pulled away they took some fabric out of their pocket and pressed on his wounds, and he felt parts of his ribs shift in a way they definitely weren’t supposed to. He keened, but he didn’t move. He wasn’t allowed to.

“Had to finish before I lost the image in my head. Now we can have a chat. So! I guess… you’re asking why you of all the easy pickings of the world, huh?” They tilted their head as Elisha nodded with a whine. “Way to be nice to people, Caleb.” The guilt was immediate, and added a further tightness to his chest that he didn’t think possible. “Poor little diamond… so lost on why it won the lottery when it picked stupid numbers on purpose, huh?”

What does that even mean? Elisha’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Hm… Too ambiguous for you? Alright, lemme dumb it down for you.” Aridai learned close, uncomfortably so, to Elisha face. They used their free hand to brace themselves beside his head. “You were perfect, Caleb. You don’t even realize how long it took for us to find someone as perfect as you. No friends, no family, no one to look for you when you disappeared. When we were watching you, you seemed so much different than other Cambion. They tend to be the talk of the town, y’know? People notice when they leave, because they’re so damned relieved that they’re gone.. But you…” They shifted, removing their hand from the fabric to touch his face again. He resisted the instinct to pull away like he had stupidly done before. 

“Absolutely no one would miss you when you were gone, besides the people who would want money from you.”

Elisha swallowed, trying to not let the immense weight of Aridai’s words crush him.

“Now, I’ve met a fair amount of Cambion. They’re feisty creatures, and way too stubborn for their own good. But you’re different than your kind, Caleb. You’re tamed.” Aridai ruffled his hair, staining it with blood. “You’re so nice and reclusive. Not at all like all the other ones I’ve cut up before.”

A flicker of fear flashed in Elisha’s eyes as he fought to breathe. They had seen Cambion before? Did they kill them?

They tilted their head to the other side. “I guess… in thinking about why you were taken… I guess you were just perfect the way you were. You were practically begging to be taken.” Aridai finally leaned away, pulling the bloodied fabric from his chest. “Jeremiah said it was all an act. Fake, or something. But I can tell. You try too hard to be pretending. You actually think all that nice and kind bullshit makes a difference in the end..”

He felt sick. Elisha didn’t want to believe that what they were saying was right. It all felt wrong.

This wasn’t his fault. There was no way that they were looking for someone like him. He was just in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and they took him. 

Elisha had been trying to change. He had to believe that it was worth it.

“S-someone… they-they have to. Some-someone will look,” he argued quietly, voice wavering from tears unshed. “It’s, it’s the right thing to… to do.”

Aridai laughed again, plenty amused. “Who’s going to look for you, Caleb? Name someone for me.”

He tried to search his mind. His mother? No… he hadn’t talked to her in years. Elisha couldn’t remember the last time he talked to his neighbors… and the only person he carried a conversation with outside of plant life was the grocery clerk at his local store when he craved some sort of interaction from people.

“My, my landlord, sh-she’ll know I’m, I’m missing, she’ll call the, um, the police.” Elisha felt confident in that regard. The police took care of things. They found lost people and brought them home to their families.

“What do you think the police are going to do? Track you down, bring you back home? Let you live comfortably in your house again and lock up the poor, bad people who did this to you?” Aridai’s eyebrows upturned in mock pity. “I’ve been skating underneath their radar for years. They’ll give up after a month or so, and mark you down as another cold case that never gets solved. That is, if they give a Cambion like you the time of day.”

They moved, finally getting off of him and settling into a crouch next to them. Elisha tried to look away, he didn’t want to see their face anymore, but Aridai reached forward and forced their eyes to meet.

“If you had told anyone about yourself, then maybe. Maybe you would have a chance.” They grinned, sinister and cold. “Face it, Caleb. No one is going to look for you, because you’re a nobody. And you only have yourself to blame for that.”

The tears that threatened to fall finally made food on their claim. Elisha gasped, trying to force down the inner hurt that he felt, but he knew that bits floated to the surface. He bit his lower lip hard enough to draw blood, but the taste wasn’t enough to get him to stop.

It felt like Aridai had cut them with broken bits of glass, mentally and physically. He wanted to curl up in a ball of shame but he couldn’t even move to get away, even if he was allowed to. Don’t break down in front of them. Don’t do it. Don’t show weakness.

For once, he agreed with his instincts.

It was a blessing when Aridai finally stood up. “I think I’m done here. This was really fun, Caleb. Maybe we’ll shape you up enough to participate, hm?” They let out another series of lighthearted chuckles, and the sound was like nails on a chalkboard. “I’ll send in Jeremiah to clean you up. Honestly…” Aridai held up both hands, which were covered in Elisha’s own blood. “We’re both a pretty mess.”

They quickly retrieved their implements, looking him over one last time, before ascending the stairs to the rest of the house. The top of the basement shut with a loud slam, and he caught the sound of a lock as it clicked into place.

In the dark, Elisha finally let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and felt the cracks underneath his skin that were beginning to show deepen.

[airoasis]

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

You already know i’ve been doing various pondering lately in well I I just don’t believe i’m cut out for the priesthood I think it is time you and that i faced facts you want us as priests in the nation if now not the first-rate safe haven sub percent what i’m speakme about don’t you yeah yeah I believe I do i’ll be off then come here right here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you capable right here we go one two three howdy Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good once more yeah wait we get this kind of tender again again go on again Duggal simply sit down Oh Ted am i able to open a further window and the arrival calendar first very well then however consider you’re simply allowed to open latest window Oh Shepherd great stuff oh god Ted cannot open the opposite two no Dugan Ted I can not wait to find out what’s behind tomorrow’s one I bet it is a donkey or anything all correct so you’ve gotten transformed out of your initial prediction places of work once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go the place do you get these matters you realize scorching i’d say it can be mainly just a lovely angel what would you say is in the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows yes woman’s neck oh sure Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar unless the following day one other yr long past it’s rough to feel isn’t it I imply what’s it all about Dugan well it would not relatively have a narrative Ted you comprehend it’s practically football and stuff no dougela I mean lifestyles you already know your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-approach ticket to Palookaville you already know I regarded within the replicate this morning and i noticed a middle-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do lady oh yes of direction it is just that I acquired a Christmas card the previous day from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a 12 months and 2000 and guidelines exquisite how does he manipulate that I do not know a lap dancing or whatever and then there is father buzz Dolan in Canada he is his own exhibit on cable and that i hear he’s landed a significant section in the new Bond movie all began for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be quality to be noted are you aware what i would love about being noted people listen to you they hearken to what you have to say and i’ve a lot to say what about when you are doing all of your sermons Ted folks take heed to you then don’t they i do know dude I imply individuals I appreciate you see you simply talked right across me there even you don’t hearken to me that is not reasonable well I do are you looking ahead to Christmas i am indeed mrs.Doyle a great quiet Christmas that’s what I need a high-quality quiet Christmas with no exceptional incidents or unusual individuals turning up that will go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet common everyday Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s condominium no ed that’s it simply down the avenue oh thanks very a lot who used to be that Ted simply any one we’re looking for Riley’s residence she had a child together with her for a moment I thought a person had just left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you assume what would have happened if she’d left it with us sure we’ve been watching after and everything and coming into all types of hilarious jams the entire factor would were very very humorous well it would not have been that humorous Ted simply no and the drinks simply come out right here now you’ve got already punched in your choice from milk and sugar so all of the work is taken out of it even the ultra-modern girl plenty of time for scheming sympathy glitch and can entry espresso scorching chocolate or Horlicks yes tea master particularly takes the distress out of constructing tea good what do you feel possibly I just like the distress for mrs.Doyle good inspiration Ted fragrance is the superb lady reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented perfume so you don’t ought to put any notion into whatsoever I used to stick Jack ultimately oh they’ve bought this exceptional pressed head the place that you would be able to put humans who do not wish to go searching they are able to just stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there different individuals there are quite a lot of individuals lifeless you can be pleasant fragrance you think you would be capable to scent it very exactly how we all know good we’re within the Hindi placing around near ladies secret things it’s justice seem this way oh no more Underpants I mean I did not need so many forms of Underpants huh I mean what did the parade round of them looking in mirrors all the time we obtained slightly lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit misplaced here I think that’s why you are here as good misplaced sure right yeah that’s it that is it examples you understand how over here it is eire’s largest Landry section I realize yeah I read that somewhere the quality suggestions for us to get out of right here as quickly as possible you already know for clergymen striking across the freely part sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this manner we have now been here I do not forget these brows from the first time circular all of them look the equal to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay many times lonely factor to reduce the physical activities and extra-strength straps in the event you move by a bra with a center art support and single pilot and the flight lace outline then I consider we’re on the right monitor any individual’s coming to see you good no longer in view we were watching for the bathroom so we desired in here by mistake it can be big it’s Ryan’s largest lingerie part I realize like that is the quandary we have now 8 priests placing across the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but cost we’re speakme countrywide scandal Oh the heels appear the equal right very first thing do not panic we’re on this factor let’s try to get out of it okay Billy i would like you on point for the clearly father D can you take up the back let’s go and hold it quiet I damage any one possibly i’m simply going crazy laundry part goodbye i don’t feel this sauce you’re taking a leisure photo for the correct you go on factor but anticipate this form of thing of the priest best two weeks ago a good phase is to send me off to some bloody cat oh is not it i am gonna make you a promise sooner or later you and i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it’s a little bit bit only a reminiscence are you able to maintain onto that idea okay can you do that for me as well it can be my stupid fault for messing with the brass go forward slowly sluggish you down listen we’re a crew stick collectively there is the exit thank God God seem at all these people they definitely see us popping out perhaps if you actually buy some Underpants then it wouldn’t seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants attention who’s bought essentially the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s received the most boring voice this set had been you asking for a dramatic entertaining voice no Newton said of boring he desired an boring voice if that’s the case you ought to excuse me for my impetuous interruption hear that is what we will do what is going on on I consider Ted has a plan no I imply most likely anyway after the laundry section ladies and gentlemen might you please deliver your purchases to the checker because the steward selected garments what’s incorrect Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve received to do with Christmas oh honey how there’s nothing in the Catholic scandal supplement about the lingerie episode I feel we acquired away with it hello Craig Holland parochial residence father Ted Crilley speakme k Tom McCaskill right here whats up Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming back when things have died down slightly I would ought to head off to South america for a whilst you recognize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy for that reason I washed it just let me discontinue you proper like correct there tom that money used to be just resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a huge want forgetting the lad Joseph’s difficulty the opposite day we would such as you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you’re not severe i’m lethal serious Oh God i don’t think worthwhile once I consider of all of the different priests who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but a very difficult hindrance and avert yet another rip-off when the church father bully in the rest of the boys will drop the award over to you the next day oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any style of money prize with – i am afraid now not tag however somewhat strapped for cash here at the second anyway see you quickly doodle wonderful information you’re getting married common is that a joke yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical struggle without doubt exceptional it can be not every day you went into Wars who’re no father you can’t have an award why no longer award a massive sure there you’re great balls all image doodles take a image Oh Ted am i able to stay up day after today night time to observe the dreaded movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a scary film you had to sleep in my bed i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a mind of its own long past mad if that is not horrifying I do not know what’s don’t it is a kid’s film when you cannot care for that how on the earth are you gonna be in a position to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills all people is that’s that what this one’s about sure if you wish to make reward your possess age this movie the present day gossip or without difficulty have somewhat of fun oh please chat again and converse to veggies you wish to have to understand right I acquired the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed outstanding I feel i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few pleased to get this award you are aware of it let me no longer be one of the vital top priests within the country after I get my award all correct zero pronouncing there i’m some of the prime intent within the country did you hear that I stated there only a 2d in the past I did yeah well it is now not earlier than time father I continually proposal you have been one of the vital first-class clergymen within the country thank you very a lot mrs.Doyle one of the crucial excellent or perhaps the quality just right one mrs. Doyle actually would you say i am the quality priest within the country on the second you don’t leave out new country simply say so I truthfully won’t intellect i would say you perhaps the 2nd pleasant no it’s all proper i’m no longer the quality priest in the country i am honey the 2d first-rate there may be anyone better than me it seems that father I was just considering of these monks working very bad areas oh yes of path these lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is better than me proceed this i’m not the exceptional i am just 2d best it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize well i’m so sorry surely i am just an fool undoubtedly I cannot even say Mass safely father don’t take it again that’s what you mentioned you stated i am no longer the high-quality peaceable within the nation that is best just want to recognize the place I stand without doubt now i’m gonna must jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan requested me for early retirement and maybe after I go which you could ask the opposite priest father Peter ideal the best priest to come here and you could work for him due to the fact that he is definitely this kind of nice priest welcome to priest chat bank if you are beneath 18 or no longer a priest please cling up now you desire to communicate concerning the Pope’s seek advice from to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad but now not being competent to determine exactly why say yes no wait yes yes hey whats up no is that being vaguely unhappy however no longer being equipped to determine exactly why no this is easy methods to spoil the news of a loss of life we have been just speakme about methods I say it’s first-class to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he’s not coming again get used to it sure but frequently a few little recommendations support like consider how your husband used to love a good snort my predicament is that I should be on top of the world on account that i have been given an award but the fact of the topic is that i know this is a priest best line you recognize why Wow there at the same time you have been out to your walk we had a phone name I suppose you had been presupposed to do a funeral today utterly forgot about it’s all proper father McGuire said he three it is no use i am just so occupied with Christmas I can’t sleep do you on no account get to sleep like that i’m just writing my speech for tomorrow god it is superb thus far what do you place in speeches you told me thank each person wouldn’t you no no longer in this case Dougal you see I received this war to my possess initiative and rough graft so there may be no one else to thank him besides myself that is a good notion i will thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is simply the notes quite see right here for example it is a record of people who’ve relatively fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he relatively wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he’s on the wrong list he must be beneath Liars alternatively than twats last I got a chance to shine to stand out to be recognized I appreciate it no dude I imply cognizance of my my knowledge of my achievements all correct and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my tremendous second I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s significant phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he is on vacations well i’ll disturb them anyway i’m gonna try and get to sleep one more time that is little need Dooley she’s a good way to go to sleep simply exceptional empty your head of all pots i will supply it a go however I quite do not exquisite a lot of humans in the stable Ted it can be the one thing I did not expect do study to and open your presents I fully forgot concerning the presents first the calendar no offers I acquired any better than this you understand I used to be racking my brains seeking to consider what would mrs.Doyle really love for Christmas and then I thought whatever to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we cannot live in the dead of night a long time you’ve got made your final cup of tea in this apartment if i know people the way I suppose I do she fairly loves that reward how do you know i know don’t consider I had observed those little pointers he left lying around the position gift present gift reward present reward rack off who could that be sermon is just not till – I’ve neglected the ceremony hover no no certainly not yeah have not modified a bit yeah rascal and also you seem at you you have not converted both what well what about the hair all right from the hair it is a it is a it can be a different shape colour colour colour of direction it it was once red brown blonde howdy there whats up there are you again I consider you told me all about it no why did you stick the ancient name and deal with within the the booklet you recognize especially the title very important that you simply write the title very very evidently i would love to inform however I are not able to relatively write you see one time final yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the near of the controls handwriting was once utterly severed father are you not going to introduce me to the brand new father all right rate of course absolutely i will inform you what see if which you can bet Godfather certain it could be some thing still dog supply us a are attempting father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i’ll give you a clue ken Sweeney for his or her Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry massive begging them for their Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie estate bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke however they’re Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam extra nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest sure is that particularly did she get ah come on Ted you knew already yes sure of direction I used to be simply amazed that she acquired it in Wow good underneath an hour well done mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they’re now Todd just right old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you fixed for a cup of tea Todd i might you put together a sizzling toddy Todd do you wish to have Todd anything at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted well Todd it is now not rather a ceremony i am certain to be just a very undeniable simple affair sure grandchildren about me i’ll be looking sir also won’t be ok so Oh appear dad what you love he knows salivate for them tell you i’ll alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i don’t have got to get into it nevertheless it just we want you there on the day you already know a 2nd or two and i’m day that is here any one organized around right here do not talk to me you don’t talk that situation over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track displays itself via the counter rhythm which is there be aware of what you able ok i know first tougher tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hello i am Ted and that is doogal there i am doback he’s useless he is over his dead father why does he want you with the aid of the stage he he ought to be me dick man good day i am clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thank you very so much Ted have you ever ever notion about doing any television work had crossed my intellect leave out jeren agent no i’m going to inform you what I give this ad name nonetheless wonders for me well then correct thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks just right afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for exceptional achievement this yr’s winner is anyone who’s overcome controversy prior to now when rumors of economic irregularities no no no however following a thorough investigation no formal fees have been ever made once more so he was simply resting in my account authorities had been stressed via what they saw as weird irregularities in his debts however he’s overcome all these individual setbacks oh come this yr’s golden cleric females and gents I provide you with father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i am on it instead of sticking with scores in public good good good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces right here today some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the final chuckle and quite a lot of persons who relatively failed to consider I had it in me to come to be a great priest well what I say to these men and women is seem at me now however eventually I got out of his headlock and now where are you father a person hunter or offer you some pygmies in the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a top priest he thought it could be a great proposal first-class fun to pour water on this young rookies mattress however of path 30 years later the smile has been very so much swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him good executed first-class speech Ted it went well did not it tell me you as wandering round in there for three hours sure it is ireland’s biggest land resection I understand all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and loosen up sir we’re gonna check out the tea master how does it work Ted what am i able to no longer simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely leave the cup there slide them any such cartridges right here when the teachers comes available in the market snatch so that is splendid sure good understand that I’ve won an award i can hardly ever be seen consuming tea that’s just been made in a pot the notion it just seems too good to be genuine watch the catch i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you might have an tremendously boring voice I was just announcing what is the capture sorry didn’t get it there both I imply enthusiastic about the tea master factor there ought to be some style of a seize oh oh there’s no capture no watch this see superb father there may be any one there there is without a doubt any person like their father what do woman put on that track well on the song that makes father Jack stand up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to stand up and up within the music comes up equal-same it is only a bit fun sure well we we style of idea father Jack was jumping via that window slightly too most of the time that’s why we put in the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you suppose of us all of us have a seem on the Christmas movie yeah and now a special improved Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh satisfactory mass god I just remembered I imagined to be doing anything terribly essential and the item I was once supposed to be doing I just remembered I’ve bought a telephone this fella on loss of life row that I befriended recently since it is been performed tomorrow for mass homicide so you understand i might say he is lovely low on the moment God Almighty did you do it oh sure no yes do you need any support speakme to him because he might get hysterical and crying and i might say pull your self together man all right there may be been a giant accident so I will have to go to I’ve got a cellphone call there where you have been all somewhere else correct so we’re now not off saw father anxious you’re coming too I would get you carry ah no residence there was once a nice mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a large fan of his he gives good mass but he rather he particularly knows the best way to work the altar seem at that chalice work easy oh good we’d be off so see you quickly bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I obtained my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with further dinosaurs good that was once a fantastic day God was once lifeless it used to be a great day amazing fun i would say it was one of the vital excellent Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all right hey so was i who’s that fellow huh dogs I failed to invite him did you yeah no that’s right I barred you from inviting persons to the condo after that tramp stayed for per week wasn’t a tramp Ted that was the high Minister of France no dooble he just lied to you Todd sincere i don’t keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he might be he had a nickname like you know Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway do not worry about it h ere you be long past in the morning look at you lying in there like a giant agent well here all of us should not all the plenty just like within the old days they take into account the entire fun we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the giant oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories consider the time you old Mitch go to the diner live performance i couldn’t go considering I used to be recuperating from a enormous vehicle accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that reward ship there got Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inner thigh the run the entire approach up to me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half earlier 1:00 in the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering round generally I can not sleep and i desire a excellent stroll to calm myself down you do not mind do you no no you do that every one right so excellent night time and blissful Christmas Ted God Almighty – i am not going out of this room unless the next day to come i don’t danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them flip off the light earlier than you come up need you and please don’t watch why Mackenzie panic it can be a hazardous however my god the fact I suppose it can be secure to assert the burglar is undoubtedly in the avenue of nightmares Duggal I absolutely told you to not watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t watching a Ted I simply got here down to hold the milk round hey your holiness president Robinson well performed on everything mr.De Niro good well I adored you in Godfather too he is not going to be doing any further burglaries the place he is going Oh the place’s that good let prison sure of course sorry but sergeant tell me how did you know a lot about me i’m desirous about that myself anxious if that’s your actual name I already advised you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is this off the report of path good I wasn’t selridge just a few days in the past received talking to this ancient priest in a bar he was once a bit cagey in the beginning however just a few pictures of JD and he was singing like a chook the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient buddy of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank lengthy into the night time me pay in a direction him spilling his guts on a subjective asserting a further tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns significant furry yes the longer he talked the better at intestine and ancient-timer named Jack Hackett and a negative unusual fool boy after that all I wanted used to be the correct costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s a long story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom commonplace run-of-the-mill cleric then I received first prize within the country west meet priest to the ear competition the bet it went to my head after that I started hitting the altar wine too hard going easy on men and women in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker masses all I wanted was trophies and prizes however the person who particularly acquired me rough used to be the golden cleric no no no today what I used to be going to ask you as you are a priest I mean why did you take the other priests clothes i don’t know it used to be simply going our way good I’ve got dangerous information for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the file i am utilising that as evidence in opposition to you ah that is fully unfair take them away thanks sergeant they may be profitable this father you both should be very proud of yourselves no longer one of these dangerous day in any case i might say it can be a useful one thing you have pricey mrs.Doyle huh state-of-the-art technology it’s exquisite is not it it is indeed and thanks once more father it’s the first-rate Christmas gift ever what concerning the tea laptop oh yes i’ll go on crank it up right now no i do not just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna ought to get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i like the whole tea making thing you understand the playful splash of the tea is it hits the bottom of the copper trail of including the milk and watching it settle for a moment before it filters slowly down through the cup altering the color from darkish brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a huge cup of tea oh simply believe father don’t forget the entire great times we had once I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs.Doyle T out of laptop is like milk out of a youngster’s bottle the youngster does not need one other bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a fine common cup of tea correct your father and don’t you worry it’ll be tremendous superb bloody hell do you know Dougal priesthood it’s now not about awards and glamour it can be about tough graft and attending to the non secular needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that would were me rather that explains so much Google i don’t think he picked up on what I supposed there I would were a bad priest you realize i am gonna be lazy smug now not giving a damn about the wants of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she wants you to do one of those remembrance masses i am nothing you understand doodle i am sorry about my recent silliness you recognize you deserve this award as so much as me particularly thanks Ted that’s fine thanks very much just leave it oh you wager higher I think yeah and my name on the plaque we won’t bother changing that all correct I i do know the awards mine and that’s good enough for me yeah there’s no gonna have a bat you already know help me relax after the day ok what are you doing simply having a bit of of a laugh .

[batterymonster2021]

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/a-christmassy-ted-christmas-special-father-ted-dead-parrot-2/

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

You already know i’ve been doing various pondering lately in well I I just don’t believe i’m cut out for the priesthood I think it is time you and that i faced facts you want us as priests in the nation if now not the first-rate safe haven sub percent what i’m speakme about don’t you yeah yeah I believe I do i’ll be off then come here right here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you capable right here we go one two three howdy Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good once more yeah wait we get this kind of tender again again go on again Duggal simply sit down Oh Ted am i able to open a further window and the arrival calendar first very well then however consider you’re simply allowed to open latest window Oh Shepherd great stuff oh god Ted cannot open the opposite two no Dugan Ted I can not wait to find out what’s behind tomorrow’s one I bet it is a donkey or anything all correct so you’ve gotten transformed out of your initial prediction places of work once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go the place do you get these matters you realize scorching i’d say it can be mainly just a lovely angel what would you say is in the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows yes woman’s neck oh sure Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar unless the following day one other yr long past it’s rough to feel isn’t it I imply what’s it all about Dugan well it would not relatively have a narrative Ted you comprehend it’s practically football and stuff no dougela I mean lifestyles you already know your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-approach ticket to Palookaville you already know I regarded within the replicate this morning and i noticed a middle-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do lady oh yes of direction it is just that I acquired a Christmas card the previous day from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a 12 months and 2000 and guidelines exquisite how does he manipulate that I do not know a lap dancing or whatever and then there is father buzz Dolan in Canada he is his own exhibit on cable and that i hear he’s landed a significant section in the new Bond movie all began for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be quality to be noted are you aware what i would love about being noted people listen to you they hearken to what you have to say and i’ve a lot to say what about when you are doing all of your sermons Ted folks take heed to you then don’t they i do know dude I imply individuals I appreciate you see you simply talked right across me there even you don’t hearken to me that is not reasonable well I do are you looking ahead to Christmas i am indeed mrs.Doyle a great quiet Christmas that’s what I need a high-quality quiet Christmas with no exceptional incidents or unusual individuals turning up that will go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet common everyday Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s condominium no ed that’s it simply down the avenue oh thanks very a lot who used to be that Ted simply any one we’re looking for Riley’s residence she had a child together with her for a moment I thought a person had just left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you assume what would have happened if she’d left it with us sure we’ve been watching after and everything and coming into all types of hilarious jams the entire factor would were very very humorous well it would not have been that humorous Ted simply no and the drinks simply come out right here now you’ve got already punched in your choice from milk and sugar so all of the work is taken out of it even the ultra-modern girl plenty of time for scheming sympathy glitch and can entry espresso scorching chocolate or Horlicks yes tea master particularly takes the distress out of constructing tea good what do you feel possibly I just like the distress for mrs.Doyle good inspiration Ted fragrance is the superb lady reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented perfume so you don’t ought to put any notion into whatsoever I used to stick Jack ultimately oh they’ve bought this exceptional pressed head the place that you would be able to put humans who do not wish to go searching they are able to just stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there different individuals there are quite a lot of individuals lifeless you can be pleasant fragrance you think you would be capable to scent it very exactly how we all know good we’re within the Hindi placing around near ladies secret things it’s justice seem this way oh no more Underpants I mean I did not need so many forms of Underpants huh I mean what did the parade round of them looking in mirrors all the time we obtained slightly lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit misplaced here I think that’s why you are here as good misplaced sure right yeah that’s it that is it examples you understand how over here it is eire’s largest Landry section I realize yeah I read that somewhere the quality suggestions for us to get out of right here as quickly as possible you already know for clergymen striking across the freely part sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this manner we have now been here I do not forget these brows from the first time circular all of them look the equal to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay many times lonely factor to reduce the physical activities and extra-strength straps in the event you move by a bra with a center art support and single pilot and the flight lace outline then I consider we’re on the right monitor any individual’s coming to see you good no longer in view we were watching for the bathroom so we desired in here by mistake it can be big it’s Ryan’s largest lingerie part I realize like that is the quandary we have now 8 priests placing across the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but cost we’re speakme countrywide scandal Oh the heels appear the equal right very first thing do not panic we’re on this factor let’s try to get out of it okay Billy i would like you on point for the clearly father D can you take up the back let’s go and hold it quiet I damage any one possibly i’m simply going crazy laundry part goodbye i don’t feel this sauce you’re taking a leisure photo for the correct you go on factor but anticipate this form of thing of the priest best two weeks ago a good phase is to send me off to some bloody cat oh is not it i am gonna make you a promise sooner or later you and i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it’s a little bit bit only a reminiscence are you able to maintain onto that idea okay can you do that for me as well it can be my stupid fault for messing with the brass go forward slowly sluggish you down listen we’re a crew stick collectively there is the exit thank God God seem at all these people they definitely see us popping out perhaps if you actually buy some Underpants then it wouldn’t seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants attention who’s bought essentially the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s received the most boring voice this set had been you asking for a dramatic entertaining voice no Newton said of boring he desired an boring voice if that’s the case you ought to excuse me for my impetuous interruption hear that is what we will do what is going on on I consider Ted has a plan no I imply most likely anyway after the laundry section ladies and gentlemen might you please deliver your purchases to the checker because the steward selected garments what’s incorrect Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve received to do with Christmas oh honey how there’s nothing in the Catholic scandal supplement about the lingerie episode I feel we acquired away with it hello Craig Holland parochial residence father Ted Crilley speakme k Tom McCaskill right here whats up Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming back when things have died down slightly I would ought to head off to South america for a whilst you recognize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy for that reason I washed it just let me discontinue you proper like correct there tom that money used to be just resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a huge want forgetting the lad Joseph’s difficulty the opposite day we would such as you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you’re not severe i’m lethal serious Oh God i don’t think worthwhile once I consider of all of the different priests who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but a very difficult hindrance and avert yet another rip-off when the church father bully in the rest of the boys will drop the award over to you the next day oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any style of money prize with – i am afraid now not tag however somewhat strapped for cash here at the second anyway see you quickly doodle wonderful information you’re getting married common is that a joke yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical struggle without doubt exceptional it can be not every day you went into Wars who’re no father you can’t have an award why no longer award a massive sure there you’re great balls all image doodles take a image Oh Ted am i able to stay up day after today night time to observe the dreaded movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a scary film you had to sleep in my bed i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a mind of its own long past mad if that is not horrifying I do not know what’s don’t it is a kid’s film when you cannot care for that how on the earth are you gonna be in a position to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills all people is that’s that what this one’s about sure if you wish to make reward your possess age this movie the present day gossip or without difficulty have somewhat of fun oh please chat again and converse to veggies you wish to have to understand right I acquired the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed outstanding I feel i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few pleased to get this award you are aware of it let me no longer be one of the vital top priests within the country after I get my award all correct zero pronouncing there i’m some of the prime intent within the country did you hear that I stated there only a 2d in the past I did yeah well it is now not earlier than time father I continually proposal you have been one of the vital first-class clergymen within the country thank you very a lot mrs.Doyle one of the crucial excellent or perhaps the quality just right one mrs. Doyle actually would you say i am the quality priest within the country on the second you don’t leave out new country simply say so I truthfully won’t intellect i would say you perhaps the 2nd pleasant no it’s all proper i’m no longer the quality priest in the country i am honey the 2d first-rate there may be anyone better than me it seems that father I was just considering of these monks working very bad areas oh yes of path these lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is better than me proceed this i’m not the exceptional i am just 2d best it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize well i’m so sorry surely i am just an fool undoubtedly I cannot even say Mass safely father don’t take it again that’s what you mentioned you stated i am no longer the high-quality peaceable within the nation that is best just want to recognize the place I stand without doubt now i’m gonna must jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan requested me for early retirement and maybe after I go which you could ask the opposite priest father Peter ideal the best priest to come here and you could work for him due to the fact that he is definitely this kind of nice priest welcome to priest chat bank if you are beneath 18 or no longer a priest please cling up now you desire to communicate concerning the Pope’s seek advice from to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad but now not being competent to determine exactly why say yes no wait yes yes hey whats up no is that being vaguely unhappy however no longer being equipped to determine exactly why no this is easy methods to spoil the news of a loss of life we have been just speakme about methods I say it’s first-class to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he’s not coming again get used to it sure but frequently a few little recommendations support like consider how your husband used to love a good snort my predicament is that I should be on top of the world on account that i have been given an award but the fact of the topic is that i know this is a priest best line you recognize why Wow there at the same time you have been out to your walk we had a phone name I suppose you had been presupposed to do a funeral today utterly forgot about it’s all proper father McGuire said he three it is no use i am just so occupied with Christmas I can’t sleep do you on no account get to sleep like that i’m just writing my speech for tomorrow god it is superb thus far what do you place in speeches you told me thank each person wouldn’t you no no longer in this case Dougal you see I received this war to my possess initiative and rough graft so there may be no one else to thank him besides myself that is a good notion i will thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is simply the notes quite see right here for example it is a record of people who’ve relatively fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he relatively wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he’s on the wrong list he must be beneath Liars alternatively than twats last I got a chance to shine to stand out to be recognized I appreciate it no dude I imply cognizance of my my knowledge of my achievements all correct and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my tremendous second I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s significant phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he is on vacations well i’ll disturb them anyway i’m gonna try and get to sleep one more time that is little need Dooley she’s a good way to go to sleep simply exceptional empty your head of all pots i will supply it a go however I quite do not exquisite a lot of humans in the stable Ted it can be the one thing I did not expect do study to and open your presents I fully forgot concerning the presents first the calendar no offers I acquired any better than this you understand I used to be racking my brains seeking to consider what would mrs.Doyle really love for Christmas and then I thought whatever to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we cannot live in the dead of night a long time you’ve got made your final cup of tea in this apartment if i know people the way I suppose I do she fairly loves that reward how do you know i know don’t consider I had observed those little pointers he left lying around the position gift present gift reward present reward rack off who could that be sermon is just not till – I’ve neglected the ceremony hover no no certainly not yeah have not modified a bit yeah rascal and also you seem at you you have not converted both what well what about the hair all right from the hair it is a it is a it can be a different shape colour colour colour of direction it it was once red brown blonde howdy there whats up there are you again I consider you told me all about it no why did you stick the ancient name and deal with within the the booklet you recognize especially the title very important that you simply write the title very very evidently i would love to inform however I are not able to relatively write you see one time final yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the near of the controls handwriting was once utterly severed father are you not going to introduce me to the brand new father all right rate of course absolutely i will inform you what see if which you can bet Godfather certain it could be some thing still dog supply us a are attempting father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i’ll give you a clue ken Sweeney for his or her Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry massive begging them for their Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie estate bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke however they’re Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam extra nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest sure is that particularly did she get ah come on Ted you knew already yes sure of direction I used to be simply amazed that she acquired it in Wow good underneath an hour well done mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they’re now Todd just right old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you fixed for a cup of tea Todd i might you put together a sizzling toddy Todd do you wish to have Todd anything at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted well Todd it is now not rather a ceremony i am certain to be just a very undeniable simple affair sure grandchildren about me i’ll be looking sir also won’t be ok so Oh appear dad what you love he knows salivate for them tell you i’ll alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i don’t have got to get into it nevertheless it just we want you there on the day you already know a 2nd or two and i’m day that is here any one organized around right here do not talk to me you don’t talk that situation over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track displays itself via the counter rhythm which is there be aware of what you able ok i know first tougher tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hello i am Ted and that is doogal there i am doback he’s useless he is over his dead father why does he want you with the aid of the stage he he ought to be me dick man good day i am clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thank you very so much Ted have you ever ever notion about doing any television work had crossed my intellect leave out jeren agent no i’m going to inform you what I give this ad name nonetheless wonders for me well then correct thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks just right afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for exceptional achievement this yr’s winner is anyone who’s overcome controversy prior to now when rumors of economic irregularities no no no however following a thorough investigation no formal fees have been ever made once more so he was simply resting in my account authorities had been stressed via what they saw as weird irregularities in his debts however he’s overcome all these individual setbacks oh come this yr’s golden cleric females and gents I provide you with father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i am on it instead of sticking with scores in public good good good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces right here today some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the final chuckle and quite a lot of persons who relatively failed to consider I had it in me to come to be a great priest well what I say to these men and women is seem at me now however eventually I got out of his headlock and now where are you father a person hunter or offer you some pygmies in the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a top priest he thought it could be a great proposal first-class fun to pour water on this young rookies mattress however of path 30 years later the smile has been very so much swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him good executed first-class speech Ted it went well did not it tell me you as wandering round in there for three hours sure it is ireland’s biggest land resection I understand all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and loosen up sir we’re gonna check out the tea master how does it work Ted what am i able to no longer simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely leave the cup there slide them any such cartridges right here when the teachers comes available in the market snatch so that is splendid sure good understand that I’ve won an award i can hardly ever be seen consuming tea that’s just been made in a pot the notion it just seems too good to be genuine watch the catch i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you might have an tremendously boring voice I was just announcing what is the capture sorry didn’t get it there both I imply enthusiastic about the tea master factor there ought to be some style of a seize oh oh there’s no capture no watch this see superb father there may be any one there there is without a doubt any person like their father what do woman put on that track well on the song that makes father Jack stand up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to stand up and up within the music comes up equal-same it is only a bit fun sure well we we style of idea father Jack was jumping via that window slightly too most of the time that’s why we put in the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you suppose of us all of us have a seem on the Christmas movie yeah and now a special improved Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh satisfactory mass god I just remembered I imagined to be doing anything terribly essential and the item I was once supposed to be doing I just remembered I’ve bought a telephone this fella on loss of life row that I befriended recently since it is been performed tomorrow for mass homicide so you understand i might say he is lovely low on the moment God Almighty did you do it oh sure no yes do you need any support speakme to him because he might get hysterical and crying and i might say pull your self together man all right there may be been a giant accident so I will have to go to I’ve got a cellphone call there where you have been all somewhere else correct so we’re now not off saw father anxious you’re coming too I would get you carry ah no residence there was once a nice mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a large fan of his he gives good mass but he rather he particularly knows the best way to work the altar seem at that chalice work easy oh good we’d be off so see you quickly bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I obtained my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with further dinosaurs good that was once a fantastic day God was once lifeless it used to be a great day amazing fun i would say it was one of the vital excellent Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all right hey so was i who’s that fellow huh dogs I failed to invite him did you yeah no that’s right I barred you from inviting persons to the condo after that tramp stayed for per week wasn’t a tramp Ted that was the high Minister of France no dooble he just lied to you Todd sincere i don’t keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he might be he had a nickname like you know Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway do not worry about it h ere you be long past in the morning look at you lying in there like a giant agent well here all of us should not all the plenty just like within the old days they take into account the entire fun we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the giant oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories consider the time you old Mitch go to the diner live performance i couldn’t go considering I used to be recuperating from a enormous vehicle accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that reward ship there got Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inner thigh the run the entire approach up to me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half earlier 1:00 in the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering round generally I can not sleep and i desire a excellent stroll to calm myself down you do not mind do you no no you do that every one right so excellent night time and blissful Christmas Ted God Almighty – i am not going out of this room unless the next day to come i don’t danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them flip off the light earlier than you come up need you and please don’t watch why Mackenzie panic it can be a hazardous however my god the fact I suppose it can be secure to assert the burglar is undoubtedly in the avenue of nightmares Duggal I absolutely told you to not watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t watching a Ted I simply got here down to hold the milk round hey your holiness president Robinson well performed on everything mr.De Niro good well I adored you in Godfather too he is not going to be doing any further burglaries the place he is going Oh the place’s that good let prison sure of course sorry but sergeant tell me how did you know a lot about me i’m desirous about that myself anxious if that’s your actual name I already advised you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is this off the report of path good I wasn’t selridge just a few days in the past received talking to this ancient priest in a bar he was once a bit cagey in the beginning however just a few pictures of JD and he was singing like a chook the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient buddy of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank lengthy into the night time me pay in a direction him spilling his guts on a subjective asserting a further tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns significant furry yes the longer he talked the better at intestine and ancient-timer named Jack Hackett and a negative unusual fool boy after that all I wanted used to be the correct costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s a long story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom commonplace run-of-the-mill cleric then I received first prize within the country west meet priest to the ear competition the bet it went to my head after that I started hitting the altar wine too hard going easy on men and women in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker masses all I wanted was trophies and prizes however the person who particularly acquired me rough used to be the golden cleric no no no today what I used to be going to ask you as you are a priest I mean why did you take the other priests clothes i don’t know it used to be simply going our way good I’ve got dangerous information for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the file i am utilising that as evidence in opposition to you ah that is fully unfair take them away thanks sergeant they may be profitable this father you both should be very proud of yourselves no longer one of these dangerous day in any case i might say it can be a useful one thing you have pricey mrs.Doyle huh state-of-the-art technology it’s exquisite is not it it is indeed and thanks once more father it’s the first-rate Christmas gift ever what concerning the tea laptop oh yes i’ll go on crank it up right now no i do not just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna ought to get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i like the whole tea making thing you understand the playful splash of the tea is it hits the bottom of the copper trail of including the milk and watching it settle for a moment before it filters slowly down through the cup altering the color from darkish brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a huge cup of tea oh simply believe father don’t forget the entire great times we had once I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs.Doyle T out of laptop is like milk out of a youngster’s bottle the youngster does not need one other bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a fine common cup of tea correct your father and don’t you worry it’ll be tremendous superb bloody hell do you know Dougal priesthood it’s now not about awards and glamour it can be about tough graft and attending to the non secular needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that would were me rather that explains so much Google i don’t think he picked up on what I supposed there I would were a bad priest you realize i am gonna be lazy smug now not giving a damn about the wants of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she wants you to do one of those remembrance masses i am nothing you understand doodle i am sorry about my recent silliness you recognize you deserve this award as so much as me particularly thanks Ted that’s fine thanks very much just leave it oh you wager higher I think yeah and my name on the plaque we won’t bother changing that all correct I i do know the awards mine and that’s good enough for me yeah there’s no gonna have a bat you already know help me relax after the day ok what are you doing simply having a bit of of a laugh .

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

i have been doing various thinking just lately in well I I just don’t consider i’m reduce out for the priesthood I feel it’s time you and that i faced data you need us as priests within the country if now not the best safe haven sub percentage what i’m talking about don’t you yeah yeah I feel I do i’ll be off then come here here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you competent right here we go one two three whats up Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good again yeah wait we get this sort of soft again again go on back Duggal just take a seat down Oh Ted can i open an extra window and the advent calendar first all right then however don’t forget you’re simply allowed to open state-of-the-art window Oh Shepherd first rate stuff oh god Ted are not able to open the other two no Dugan Ted I cannot wait to find out what’s behind the next day to come’s one I guess it can be a donkey or whatever all right so you might have transformed out of your preliminary prediction workplaces once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go where do you get these things scorching i might say it is most commonly only a lovely angel what would you say is at the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows sure lady’s neck oh yes Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar except the next day to come one other 12 months long gone it is rough to consider isn’t it I imply what’s all of it about Dugan good it doesn’t fairly have a story Ted you realize it’s just about football and stuff no dougela I imply existence you understand your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-method ticket to Palookaville you realize I regarded in the reflect this morning and i noticed a center-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do woman oh yes of path it can be simply that I bought a Christmas card the day prior to this from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a yr and 2000 and pointers awesome how does he control that I do not know a lap dancing or some thing after which there’s father buzz Dolan in Canada he’s his own exhibit on cable and i hear he is landed a big phase in the new Bond movie all started for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be nice to be famous have you learnt what i would love about being noted humans hearken to you they take heed to what you ought to say and i’ve quite a bit to assert what about when you’re doing all of your sermons Ted people take heed to you then do not they i know dude I mean folks I recognize you see you simply talked correct across me there even you do not take heed to me that’s no longer reasonable well I do are you watching forward to Christmas i’m indeed mrs.Doyle a quality quiet Christmas that is what I want a first-rate quiet Christmas without a distinguished incidents or unusual humans turning up that would go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet ordinary day-to-day Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s residence no ed that is it simply down the road oh thanks very so much who used to be that Ted simply anybody we’re looking for Riley’s apartment she had a baby together with her for a moment I idea somebody had simply left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you imagine what would have happened if she’d left it with us yes we’ve been watching after and the whole thing and coming into all kinds of hilarious jams the entire thing would have been very very funny good it wouldn’t have been that humorous Ted definitely no and the drinks just come out here now you might have already punched on your resolution from milk and sugar so all the work is taken out of it even the state-of-the-art woman a lot of time for scheming sympathy glitch and might access coffee hot chocolate or Horlicks sure tea grasp rather takes the misery out of making tea well what do you believe probably I just like the misery for mrs.Doyle good suggestion Ted perfume is the ideal woman reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented fragrance so you do not must put any notion into whatsoever I used to stay Jack in the end oh they’ve obtained this exceptional pressed head where that you may put persons who do not wish to go looking they are able to simply stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there other men and women there are lots of individuals dead you can be quality perfume you suppose you’d be capable to scent it very precisely how we all know good we’re within the Hindi striking around close females secret matters it can be justice appear this manner oh no extra Underpants I imply I failed to want so many forms of Underpants huh I imply what did the parade around of them watching in mirrors always we received a little lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit lost right here I feel that’s why you are here as good misplaced yes correct yeah that is it that is it examples you understand how over here it is ireland’s greatest Landry section I realize yeah I read that someplace the excellent strategies for us to get out of right here as rapidly as viable you understand for clergymen hanging around the freely section sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this approach we’ve been here I recall these brows from the primary time round they all look the same to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay sometimes lonely factor to reduce the physical games and additional-force straps for those who cross by way of a bra with a center artwork support and single pilot and the flight lace define then I think we’re on the correct track any individual’s coming to see you good not in view we have been watching for the toilet so we desired in right here with the aid of mistake it can be large it can be Ryan’s largest lingerie section I comprehend like this is the drawback we have eight clergymen striking around the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but rate we’re speaking countrywide scandal Oh the heels seem the equal proper very first thing don’t panic we’re in this factor let’s try to get out of it ok Billy i need you on factor for the clearly father D can you are taking up the again let’s go and hold it quiet I harm any individual maybe i’m just going loopy laundry section so long i do not think this sauce you are taking a rest image for the correct you go on factor however assume this kind of factor of the priest handiest two weeks in the past a good phase is to send me off to a couple bloody cat oh isn’t it i am gonna make you a promise at some point you and that i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it can be somewhat bit only a memory can you hold onto that idea okay can you do that for me as good it is my silly fault for messing with the brass go ahead slowly sluggish you down pay attention we’re a team stick together there’s the exit thank God God appear in any respect those persons they most likely see us coming out perhaps for those who honestly purchase some Underpants then it would not seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants awareness who’s received the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s bought probably the most boring voice this set were you inquiring for a dramatic pleasing voice no Newton said of boring he wanted an boring voice if so you have to excuse me for my impetuous interruption listen this is what we’re going to do what is going on on I think Ted has a plan no I mean customarily anyway after the laundry section females and gentlemen would you please convey your purchases to the checker because the steward selected clothes what’s mistaken Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve bought to do with Christmas oh honey how there is nothing within the Catholic scandal supplement in regards to the lingerie episode I suppose we bought away with it hi there Craig Holland parochial condo father Ted Crilley talking k Tom McCaskill right here hi there Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming again when matters have died down a bit of I might have to head off to South the us for a while you realize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy thus I washed it simply let me stop you right like proper there tom that money was once simply resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a large favor forgetting the lad Joseph’s trouble the other day we’d like you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you are no longer critical i am lethal serious Oh God i don’t think helpful when I consider of all of the other monks who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but an extraordinarily intricate main issue and restrict one other rip-off when the church father bully in the relaxation of the lads will drop the award over to you the next day to come oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any sort of cash prize with – i’m afraid no longer tag but somewhat strapped for money here on the second anyway see you quickly doodle high-quality information you’re getting married natural is that a shaggy dog story yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical battle definitely excellent it is not everyday you went into Wars who’re no father you cannot have an award why not award a colossal yes there you’re exceptional balls all snapshot doodles take a photo Oh Ted can i keep up the next day night time to watch the scary movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a horrifying movie you needed to sleep in my mattress i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a intellect of its possess long past mad if that’s now not frightening I do not know what’s don’t it’s a children’s film if you can’t handle that how on this planet are you gonna be equipped to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills every body is that is that what this one’s about sure if you want to make reward your possess age this movie the modern gossip or comfortably have a little bit of fun oh please chat back and speak to veggies you want to know right I got the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed notable I think i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few cheerful to get this award you realize it let me not be probably the most high monks in the nation once I get my award all proper zero saying there i’m probably the most high purpose within the country did you hear that I stated there only a second in the past I did yeah well it’s now not earlier than time father I constantly thought you have been one of the vital fine clergymen within the nation thanks very so much mrs.Doyle one of the pleasant or might be the first-rate just right one mrs. Doyle truthfully would you say i am the great priest in the nation at the second you don’t pass over new nation just say so I actually is not going to intellect i would say you perhaps the 2d first-class no it can be all right i’m now not the best priest in the country i’m honey the second quality there may be a person higher than me it seems that father I was once simply pondering of those clergymen working very poor areas oh yes of course those lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is healthier than me proceed this i’m now not the satisfactory i am simply 2d fine it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize good i’m so sorry definitely i’m simply an idiot without doubt I can’t even say Mass safely father don’t take it back that is what you said you said i’m no longer the quality peaceable in the nation that is high-quality just want to be aware of where I stand obviously now i am gonna have to jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan asked me for early retirement and perhaps after I go you can ask the other priest father Peter perfect the ultimate priest to return right here and you can work for him in view that he is definitely this type of satisfactory priest welcome to priest chat bank if you’re underneath 18 or now not a priest please hang up now you desire to communicate in regards to the Pope’s visit to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad however not being in a position to determine precisely why say yes no wait yes yes whats up hi there no is that being vaguely sad but not being competent to determine precisely why no that is learn how to damage the information of a dying we were simply speakme about techniques I say it’s nice to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he is now not coming back get used to it yes but mostly a number of little hints support like keep in mind how your husband used to like a excellent snort my drawback is that I should be on top of the world due to the fact i’ve been given an award however the truth of the subject is that i know this can be a priest only line you know why Wow there while you were out on your stroll we had a cell call I consider you had been imagined to do a funeral today fully forgot about it can be all correct father McGuire mentioned he three it can be little need i am just so thinking about Christmas I can’t sleep do you under no circumstances get to sleep like that i am simply writing my speech for the following day god it’s extremely good up to now what do you set in speeches you told me thank every person would not you no now not on this case Dougal you see I bought this battle to my own initiative and rough graft so there may be nobody else to thank him except myself that is a excellent concept i’ll thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is just the notes fairly see right here for instance this can be a list of individuals who’ve really fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he particularly wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he is on the incorrect list he will have to be beneath Liars as a substitute than twats final I obtained a risk to shine to face out to be well-known I respect it no dude I imply awareness of my my advantage of my achievements all right and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my massive moment I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s tremendous phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he’s on holidays well i’ll disturb them anyway i am gonna try and get to sleep an extra time that’s little need Dooley she’s an effective way to fall asleep simply excellent empty your head of all pots i’ll provide it a go but I quite don’t amazing quite a lot of persons within the steady Ted it’s the one factor I did not count on do be taught to and open your grants I fully forgot about the grants first the calendar no offers I obtained any better than this you know I was racking my brains looking to feel what would mrs.Doyle particularly love for Christmas and then I idea you understand something to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we can not reside in the dark ages you might have made your last cup of tea in this residence if i know individuals the way in which I consider I do she quite loves that present how were you aware i do know do not think I had observed these little recommendations he left mendacity around the place reward present reward gift reward gift rack off who would that be sermon is just not till – I’ve overlooked the ceremony hover no no in no way yeah have not transformed slightly yeah rascal and also you look at you you haven’t transformed either what well what about the hair all right from the hair it’s a it can be a it’s one other form color colour colour of course it it was purple brown blonde hey there hi there there are you back I suppose you instructed me all about it no why did you stick the ancient title and deal with in the the e-book you understand specifically the name very fundamental that you simply write the identify very very naturally i might love to inform however I can not fairly write you see one time last yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the close of the controls handwriting used to be totally severed father are you now not going to introduce me to the brand new father all correct fee of path really i’ll inform you what see if that you can bet Godfather certain it might be some thing nonetheless dog provide us a try father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i will provide you with a clue ken Sweeney for their Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry huge begging them for his or her Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie property bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke but they are Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam additional nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest yes is that quite did she get ah come on Ted you knew already sure sure of path I used to be just amazed that she received it in Wow well underneath an hour good carried out mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they are now Todd good old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you constant for a cup of tea Todd i would you prepare a hot toddy Todd do you want Todd whatever at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted good Todd it’s now not quite a ceremony i am sure to be just a very simple simple affair yes grandchildren about me i will be looking sir also is not going to be ok so Oh look dad what you love he knows salivate for them inform you i’m going to alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i do not ought to get into it but it just we want you there on the day you recognize a 2d or two and i’m day that is here any individual geared up round right here don’t talk to me you do not speak that place over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track reveals itself through the counter rhythm which is there know what you equipped ok i do know first harder tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hi there i’m Ted and that’s doogal there i’m doback he’s lifeless he’s over his dead father why does he want you via the stage he he need to be me dick man howdy i’m clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thanks very so much Ted have you ever idea about doing any tv work had crossed my intellect miss jeren agent no i’ll inform you what I supply this ad call still wonders for me well then right thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks good afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for superb fulfillment this year’s winner is any one who’s overcome controversy in the past when rumors of monetary irregularities no no no however following a radical investigation no formal expenses had been ever made again so he was once simply resting in my account authorities have been burdened by what they saw as weird irregularities in his bills however he’s overcome all these personal setbacks oh come this year’s golden cleric ladies and gentlemen I give you father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i’m on it rather of sticking with scores in public well well good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces here in these days some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the last chortle and quite a lot of men and women who particularly did not believe I had it in me to grow to be a tremendous priest good what I say to these persons is seem at me now but finally I obtained out of his headlock and now the place are you father a person hunter or give you some pygmies within the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a prime priest he suggestion it will be a high-quality idea fine enjoyable to pour water on this young beginners mattress but of direction 30 years later the smile has been very a lot swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him well performed first-rate speech Ted it went good failed to it inform me you as wandering around in there for three hours sure it is eire’s largest land resection I realise all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and calm down sir we’re gonna check out the tea grasp how does it work Ted what am i able to not simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely depart the cup there slide them this kind of cartridges here when the teachers comes in the market clutch so that’s superb yes well be aware of that I’ve gained an award i will be able to infrequently be seen consuming tea that is just been made in a pot the inspiration it just appears too good to be true watch the trap i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you have an incredibly boring voice I was just saying what’s the seize sorry failed to get it there both I imply excited about the tea master factor there need to be some kind of a catch oh oh there is no seize no watch this see perfect father there is any person there there may be virtually any individual like their father what do woman placed on that song good on the song that makes father Jack rise up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to face up and up in the track comes up identical-identical it is only a bit fun yes good we we style of concept father Jack was once jumping by means of that window a little bit too traditionally that is why we put within the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you believe of us we all have a seem on the Christmas film yeah and now a distinctive elevated Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh quality mass god I just remembered I supposed to be doing some thing terribly fundamental and the object I used to be imagined to be doing I simply remembered I’ve bought a mobilephone this fella on dying row that I befriended recently considering the fact that it is been finished the following day for mass homicide so i’d say he is pretty low on the second God Almighty did you do it oh you already know yes no sure do you want any support talking to him in view that he would get hysterical and crying and that i would say pull yourself together man all proper there may be been a colossal accident so I must go to I’ve received a cellphone name there the place you have been all someplace else proper so we’re not off saw father anxious you are coming too I might get you lift ah no house there was once a high-quality mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a giant fan of his he gives good mass but he really he really is aware of methods to work the altar appear at that chalice work effortless oh well we would be off so see you soon bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I acquired my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with additional dinosaurs well that was a super day God was once dead it was a remarkable day incredible enjoyable i’d say it used to be one of the nice Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all proper hi there so used to be i who’s that fellow huh puppies I did not invite him did you yeah no that’s proper I barred you from inviting persons to the house after that tramp stayed for a week wasn’t a tramp Ted that used to be the high Minister of France no dooble he simply lied to you Todd honest i do not keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he maybe he had a nickname like you recognize Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway don’t fear about it h ere you be gone in the morning seem at you mendacity in there like a enormous agent good right here all of us should not the entire plenty just like within the historical days they consider the entire enjoyable we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the big oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories remember the time you ancient Mitch go to the diner concert i could not go since I was recovering from a colossal automobile accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that gift ship there acquired Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inside thigh the run the whole approach as much as me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half prior 1:00 within the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering around typically I are not able to sleep and i need a excellent walk to calm myself down you don’t mind do you no no you do that each one right so excellent night time and happy Christmas Ted God Almighty – i’m no longer going out of this room except the following day i do not danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them turn off the light before you come up need you and please do not watch why Mackenzie panic it’s a damaging however my god the very fact I think it is dependable to say the burglar is without doubt within the street of nightmares Duggal I thoroughly instructed you not to watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t gazing a Ted I simply got here down to carry the milk round hello your holiness president Robinson well accomplished on the whole thing mr.De Niro good good I loved you in Godfather too he won’t be doing any more burglaries the place he is going Oh where’s that well let jail sure of course sorry however sergeant tell me how do you know a lot about me i’m enthusiastic about that myself anxious if that’s your actual title I already informed you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is that this off the record of path good I wasn’t selridge a few days ago bought speaking to this historical priest in a bar he used to be a bit cagey at first but a number of pictures of JD and he was singing like a chicken the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient friend of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank long into the night time me pay in a path him spilling his guts on a subjective maintaining an additional tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns enormous bushy sure the longer he talked the better at gut and historic-timer named Jack Hackett and a poor strange idiot boy after that every one I needed was the proper costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s an extended story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom average run-of-the-mill cleric then I gained first prize in the country west meet priest to the ear competition the guess it went to my head after that I began hitting the altar wine too hard going convenient on persons in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker plenty all I wanted was once trophies and prizes however the person who rather bought me rough was once the golden cleric no no no today what I was once going to ask you as you’re a priest I imply why did you are taking the opposite monks garments i do not understand it used to be just going our method good I’ve got dangerous news for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the record i’m making use of that as evidence in opposition to you ah that’s completely unfair take them away thanks sergeant they’ll be lucrative this father you both will have to be very pleased with yourselves now not one of these bad day in any case i’d say it is a useful one thing you will have pricey mrs.Doyle huh modern science it’s wonderful isn’t it it’s certainly and thanks once more father it’s the fine Christmas reward ever what about the tea laptop oh sure i’m going to go on crank it up correct now no i don’t just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna must get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i really like the whole tea making thing you know the playful splash of the tea is it hits the backside of the copper path of including the milk and gazing it accept a second before it filters slowly down via the cup altering the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a big cup of tea oh just think father take into account the entire best instances we had when I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs. Doyle you already know T out of computing device is like milk out of a baby’s bottle the baby does not need yet another bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a nice natural cup of tea proper your father and do not you fear it’s going to be extremely good exquisite bloody hell have you learnt Dougal priesthood it’s no longer about awards and glamour it can be about difficult graft and attending to the religious needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that might had been me really that explains lots Google i don’t consider he picked up on what I intended there I would were a nasty priest you recognize i am gonna be lazy conceited now not giving a damn about the desires of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she needs you to do a kind of remembrance plenty i’m nothing you already know doodle i’m sorry about my contemporary silliness you recognize you deserve this award as a lot as me rather thanks Ted that’s quality thanks very so much simply go away it oh you bet higher I consider yeah and my name on the plaque we will not trouble changing that each one right I i do know the awards mine and that’s good sufficient for me yeah there isn’t a gonna have a bat you understand help me calm down after the day k what are you doing simply having somewhat of fun .