#heathclifftragedy

[skzarchivewritings]

All I Ask – ｊｉｓｕｎｇ

Summary: You're a staff in JYP and had fall in love with the rookie Han from Stray Kids, unfortunately you can't keep hiding this relationship forever.

Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader

Genre: angst.

Warnings: breakup and slight mention of smut (not explicit).

A/N: English isn't even my second language, so I apologize since the beginning for any mistake. You can always talk to me in twitter @3RACHAGIRL to warn me about anything. This is loosely based in All I Ask by Adele.

Word count: 1804

You always knew this couldn't last forever. Even though you were selfish enough to keep this going, deep down you always knew. It was risky since the beginning, and now things have crashed down.

It was always a matter of time until people caught both of you with your guards down, but you got used to his presence. He promised you that he would reveal you to the world when his dating ban finally reached the end. Unfortunately, people got you guys before that, and after a meeting with lots of swearing, you've been fired from your job of choreographer and he was punished with less spotlight in Stray Kids next comeback.

What has hurt you most was the decision that he had to face: you or his career. Of course he wouldn't give up from his dream, and do you wouldn't let him do it. The manager spoke harshly about how you two had to breakup what shouldn't even be started, you felt the weight of this mess crash you, and the heartbreak never felt so real.

The urge to go running away and hide to cry was so intense, you were ready to leave, but Jisung hands gripped your arms, holding you close. You heard him sniffling in your hair, probably facing the same difficulty as you to hold back his tears.

"Just three years... Can you wait for me?" his voice was trembling.

You just nodded, hugging him close enough to bury your face in his chest, letting the tears fall down. He asked for a last night, you wondered if this would do good, but you needed to hold him for one last time.

Jisung went to your apartment that night, you were waiting for him patiently. Every and then you were dressing up for him, you thought that was the last time you would do it for him in a while, just to think about it alone would bring tears in your eyes. When he passed the door, you tried to get a hold of yourself, smiling for him.

"You looks so beautiful today, love" you said to him, smiling brightly.

"You look as beautiful as ever, Y/N." he smiled, taking a few steps to get closer, caressing your cheek "I am already missing you" his voice fell.

The atmosphere were tense for the next fifteen minutes, but then Jisung carried you to the couch, to watch a movie together. It was Me Before You, you guys liked the bittersweet of that movie, even if it wasn't exactly the most favorite type of yours.

He leaned his head in your shoulders, hugging you tight, sometimes joking about some scene. You were distracted by him, looking at his face, memorizing every single detail of him, from his eyebrows shape to his chin. Your heart was beating in a way that was hurting you, you were feeling feeling nauseous of how intense just his bare face was hurting you because he was leaving. Jisung noticed that, sitting up straight and leaning to kiss your forehead.

"I'm still here..." he kissed you again, closing his eyes "Don't cry in front of me, I can't handle seeing you cry." he begged, with his point fingertip in your lips, that he switched to his mouth, locking with yours.

He was passionate in his touches, placing his hands firm enough to make you sure he was there. He kissed you gently, slowly, making you feel the desire he was feeling too. Jisung carried you to your bedroom, placing you on your bed.

That night he worshipped your body like he never did, he leaved marks on you, and not the hickeys ones, the mark of feeling loved. He took you slow, with lots of locking eyes together, he made you sure you knew how much he loved you, until you two had the energy drained, and then collapsed into each other arms, falling asleep.

But when you woke up, he wasn't there anymore.

You felt the pain hit you hard. He didn't even said goodbye, you couldn't tell him one last time that you loved him. You sit in bed, putting your face in your hands with frustration. There was a post it glued to your mattress, it took you lot of courage to read that.

I couldn't face you in the morning, I'm sorry. There's coffee waiting for you. See you in three years. J.One

You cried desperately, maybe he could hear you. You heart clenched in pain, it was starting to making everything too real. It was hard to get up that day, but you convinced yourself to go at least eat the breakfast he prepared for you.

The other days were harder. Sometimes you would cry in the middle of nowhere, like cleaning up your bathroom. You tried hard to get yourself together, but you just couldn't do it.

What gives you hope was read that note every night before go to bed. It was a temporary pain, everything will pass, you thought.

The days were getting a little bit easier through the time, you were getting used to the pain. You needed to get a hold of yourself, and then you searched for another company to work for. Luckily JYP haven't blacklisted you, so it made easier to find a new job.

You spent the last three years helping to prepare a new girlgroup to debut, they were really hard working and united, that enough made your heart fall for them. When their debut date was set, you were so full of work you didn't even realized that has passed the dating ban from Stray Kids, you haven't called him, and neither did him.

Your boss told the dance staff to always be with them, so even in music shows recording for their debut stage you were there too. The girls always thanked you for helping them with female stuff, because most of the staff was men, so you understood them better, always getting their back. One day you were in Inkigayo backstage, and you passed by a loud screeching noise you totally got forgotten in the past months about it, you heart almost jumped out of your chest. You speed up your pace, running out from that sound that made you shocked.

“Noona, are you okay?” the maknae from the group asked you, and you just smiled to her. “I'm fine, I just think I saw a ghost in the corridor” you faked a laugh, getting a water bottle and drinking. The girl was so confused, and lowkey scared that you might be telling the truth.

The older one just entered the room, retouching her lipstick in front of the mirror, analyzing her features in the mirror. She looked at you so enthusiastically that you felt taken aback when she spoke with you.

“Noona, I need coverage” she looked at her feet, blushing red “I just found this sunbaenim… He is really cute, tho… Can you watch us to warn if someone suddenly appears?” she was fully red in her face, and you looked hella confused.

“I mean… Taehee… isn't it too risky to do it?” you were concerned, getting closer to her, getting a grip onto her shoulders “You just debuted, don't risk everything because of a fling” you weren't being harsh, you just knew that same path, although you never told anyone about why you have been fired from your previous job, you felt the need to explain to that girl that she has to take some manners in industry.

Suddenly you felt the weight of your own past relationship to add to your shoulder, you had to excuse yourself out of the changing room to have some fresh air, you were ready to burst into tears. For three years you didn't dated anyone, you haven't been in a blind date or something, you just waited for him. You forgot this because of how busy and stressed you were in this whole trainee process, and just by hearing him from a long distance snapped you out of your own trance. How could Han Jisung affect you that much even after all this time? That was unfair.

Walking by the corridors you spotted Stray Kids manager, you bowed to him and got ready to walk away, but he stopped you.

“Y/N! It's been so long…” yeah, like you weren't the one who denounced your secret dates with his member, you thought.

“Hey” you forced yourself to smile “Yeah, now I'm training a girlgroup, amazing, isn't it?”

He congratulated you, and looked sincere, you both small talk for a little bit, when you are ready to turn around and go away, you saw those flashes of pity in his eyes. You wished you could curse him, break him apart.

Walking around you found yourself a nice and quiet place to simply stay there with your thoughts, you found a sit in the ground, closing your eyes and torturing yourself with memories that should be long forgotten. It was so hard to keep standing still, it's almost like you've been woken up from a coma just to hear his voice. It hurted you so bad. Your heart felt terrible in pain because your mind reminded you how brightly Jisung used to smile to you, or his scared faces whenever a loud noise suddenly appeared. You chuckled to that memory of your phone ringing making him surprised when you were so close to him and everything was so silent.

He was the sweetest, but now he's untouchable for you. Stray Kids has gone way too far for you to ask him about his promise, you weren't that selfish. Also he probably has already got over you. Han never called you in these three years, and something in the back of your mind told you it was because he probably didn't wanted you back. It was foolish from you to keep waiting for something that would never happen, you could only cherish the good memories that he left with you.

You recomposed yourself and went back to the corridors searching for your staff crew members, you would probably have to apologize for gone missing for a couple of minutes. Walking fast, you suddenly stopped when the Stray Kids changing room door opened, revealing Jisung itself. He smiled at you, you smiled back, but hurried before he could start a conversation with you, for the sake of your own emotional state. You would always remind of him like a good and smiling guy, it was better for you just end things in a good mood.

It always mattered for you how it would ends, and with a smile face was the better possibility you could take from that. It was time to let him go.

Goodbye, brown eyes. Goodbye, my love.