#heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

HAPPY ONE MONTH OF SEASON 2 OF HEARTSTOPPER!!! *CONFETTI*

So I’m gonna go into this, just like I did for Young Royals season 2, a scene-by-scene, episode-by-episode breakdown of Heartstopper season 2, because I needed to immediately rewatch it. I’m only on my fourth rewatch, but that’s only because I’ve been writing a lot, also because my third rewatch involved rewatching season 1 also (for, I’m pretty sure that I’m not exaggerating, the twenty-eight time).

It was such a delight. I said it was perfect, but obviously it’s not perfect, nothing is, and I’ll go into it bit by bit, buuuuuut… it was incredible. It hit the right spot. Whilst season 1 was pure serotonin, and it makes me smile even after the gajillionth wazillionth batrillionth rewatch, season 2 did the same but also delved into some heavier, more mature stuff, and handled it very beautifully. Despite the obvious chemistry between all the actors, you can tell that they all know each other better, they all feel more comfortable with each other, they have grown into their characters and now fully embody them flawlessly. The new characters, or characters that were more in the background before and that now get a bit or a lot more screen time, were also excellent, the scenes that are a frame-by-frame recreation of the comic are delightful and heart-wrenching and perfect, but so are most of the new scenes that we didn’t get from the comic, that give us a beautiful insight into the stories that Alice Oseman does not get a chance to share in the comic, but that are very much a part of the Osemanverse.

All I can say is that, the last scene made me scream “I NEED SEASON 3 NOWWWWW!”

Any way, now that’s all out of my system, let’s get on with the second viewing of season 2, and my thoughts on it. Warning, this might just turn out to be me gushing and squealing with delight and not much else.

EPISODE 1 - OUT

- Let’s just pause here and look at Charlie. Just… how fucking beautiful is Joe Locke when he sleeps?? How dare he? (He also looks so cuddly, like Nick says.)

- What is 7:14??? Who sets their alarm at anything other than a :00, or a :05, or a :15, etc etc???

- HE HAS A FUCKING ORANGE LEAF ON HIS BEDSIDE TABLE!

- Them being disgustingly cute over text. Also it wasn’t until Nick said a bit later that he came out to his mum ‘yesterday’ that I realized ‘oh… they were at the beach yesterday…’ But before that, it felt like more time would have gone by, but they’re still settling into their couple life…

- Untouched bowl of cereal…

- “Job”? That just reminded me of Evak…

- I love that we got more Tori this season, more Tori interacting with other people, and that scene…

- We get a very similar montage of Charlie walking excitedly into school, checking his texts, but last season started with him excitedly heading to meet Ben, and now…

- The shift between the boy that used to meet him in secret rooms and wipe his mouth after kissing him and tell him “don’t tell anyone”, to a boy that is just looking for privacy to tell him that he came out to his mum and then kissed him enthusiastically, letting him mess up his hair and all… we love to see it.

- Listen, props to the intimacy coordinator Daniel Thackeray… the chemistry has always been off the charts, buuuut this season was so beautiful, the way that they are clearly more comfortable with each other and they just look so in tune with each other. Ever since I’ve known that such a thing as an intimacy coordinator exists, I feel like I can really tell when there’s one involved in the production and when there isn’t… or maybe you can tell when actors are really comfortable with each other and have done the intimacy coordinating between them themselves or not, but there is a difference. And one of the biggest differences, at least for me, is that I don’t feel uncomfortable watching two people kiss or simulate sex, because I keep thinking “these are actors making out or simulating sex with each other,” but at times that thought is cringey and other times it really isn’t. Sometimes I need to look away, and other times, like now, it’s just perfect.

- I need Charlie to mess up Nick’s hair like that more often. Seriously, that whole making out montage… they’re so adorable.

- I know that not that much time has passed, but when the comic is over and Alice shows us future Charlie and Nick on their fortieth wedding anniversary, I bet there will still be fireworks between them.

- A bit sad that Charlie hears voices in the distance and it snaps him back to reality, that someone might see them. This obviously changes next episode.

- I love Isaac smacking Tao when he’s beginning to imply that Nick is not amazing. And Tao being protective, we love it.

- Tao running away from Elle scared after almost screwing up the chance to be a gentleman.

- Ben saying “here comes Captain Dipstick”… he’s so fucking jealous… and Imogen being all confused before she turned and saw Nick and had no idea that’s who Ben meant, and instead she got all excited.

- I love how the character of Imogen gets expanded. Her being worried that she can’t be friends with Nick if he thinks she still has a crush on him… aw baby… It seems like the thing that he said earlier, about him not being sure that he’s his authentic self with their group of friends, she’s internalizing that. She sees Nick as a person who is worthwhile to keep as a friend, because he was honest with her, and because he was careful with her feelings. She’s a delightful little pumpkin, and I loooove her new look. I think the lighter streaks in her hair suited her, but she looks much better like this.

- “And if you have any romantic developments, I want to hear all about it”, she so hopes that if she’s right about Nick and Charlie, that he’ll trust her enough to tell her, because then they’re really friends.

- Aaaaah the lovely baritone of Stephen Fry…

- I don’t know who’s more upset about being paired with the other, Nick or Ben. Probably Nick, who could smash Ben’s face in with a single punch, but cannot…

- New favorite character unlocked: Mr. Farouk. The actor exceeded my expectations.

- Mr Farouk says no chatting, but Ben is so desperate for attention, that he just talks to Nick in a normal voice. “I didn’t even do anything to you.” You assaulted Charlie, which is basically an assault on everything that is good and right in Nick’s world, and basically an assault on Nick’s very soul. So yeah, actually, you did something to him.

- Seriously, Sebastian Croft does such a good job at playing an arrogant asshole that you almost forget how adorable he is in real life.

- Harry being like “you’re still in a mood with us”, once again reminding us that it’s only been a few days since they fought and he got suspended.

- If Charlie hadn’t rejoined the rugby team, he wouldn’t have seen how much Nick is still so apprehensive with his friends.

- It’s only been a few days and Tao is still processing the butterflies he felt with Elle… the funniest thing is that he’s the last person to realize that he’s got feeling for Elle.

- Nick getting all excited and blushy about a chocolate bar…

- “That’s why kissing at school is not a good idea”. Yes, and maybe check if the locker room is actually empty before saying that sentence so loudly…

- “If we’re out by the time we’re on the Paris trip…” ugh, he so wants to come out, but he just doesn’t know how hard it can be… he thinks once you’re out it’s fine, but Charlie knows… that it’s just a part of it, and more stuff might come later… that when you come out, you’re coming out over and over again constantly… especially for someone like Nick, whom people have always assumed to be straight and claim that he “doesn’t look gay”…

- “No more kissing at school, it’s too risky”. I swear to god I thought we’d get a jump scare from someone who overheard…

- “I treasure my alone time”. Same, Tori, same. Put this on a t-shirt for me, please.

- Tori is so happy that Charlie is happy, she's so happy that Nick makes him happy, that Nick is the way he is, and she's probably very smug about how right she was.

- I love that we get baker Nick. Now I need a full scene of him baking, and watching GBBO, and especially having a flour fight with Charlie like we do in the comic...

- Darcy and Tara are doing the “would you still love me if I were a worm” meme, which canonically was a Nick and Charlie thing, but it’s definitely such a Tara and Darcy thing too.

- I want every single Charlie jumper…

- Isaac looking at all the coupley couples, and the not-yet-coupley couples, and feeling left out… Same, Isaac, same.

- Precious Imogen, being all excited about the sleepover. I bet none of her “friends” have sleepovers, I bet they all think it’s lame.

- “I’m gonna tell her today”. The girls probably know that Imogen will be cool, but Tao and Isaac exchanging worried looks really got me… are they worried about Nick, or are they worried about the implications for both Nick and Chalie?

- Charlie’s face as Nick kind of stumbles over his words, he’s so patient. He knows how difficult™ it is...

- Every single Elle outfit this season was off the charts… Her earrings in this scene, I need them…

- Speaking of outfits, and in general of color schemes, everything is so yellow in the whole sleepover sequence. Generally a lot of things in Charlie's house are yellow and green (and a bit of orange too). And even most outfits in these scenes are yellow and green. Charlie is wearing green, Elle is wearing yellow, Tara's flowery dress is mostly yellow (IMO), Darcy's in red but it has hints of orange and yellow, and Tao is in this pinkish striped shirt and tan pants, so very in the color scheme... everyone is wearing yellow and green in some way... except Nick, Imogen and Isaac. Blue as a symbol has been very representative throughout the show of heterosexuality, (toxic) masculinity, heteronormativity in a way (it seems to me, at least), and although the shade of blue is very light, here Imogen is in full light blue, whilst Nick is wearing a blue shirt, interestingly over a green t-shirt. There's a lot of green in this season (green is the color of hope and optimism, which I think comes into play a lot, whilst also being the resulting combination of blue and yellow). The other character not in the yellow green scheme is Isaac, who wears grey (because SPOILER ALERT, grey is an important color in the ace flag, and we later get confirmation that Isaac is in the ace spectrum) ...

- “You need to tell her”. The girls are trying to tell you that it’s going to be fine, Nick. Imogen will not be weird about it.

- Poor Nick trying to bond with Tao… and Tao being Tao…

- Imogen really is an ally… an imperfect one at that… “Omg, I should have let you say it”.

- Also her face. I love her. And her hugging him. “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to react.” She’s so happy that he wanted to tell her, that he was honest with her again. She’s adorable.

- Imogen and Isaac sharing the couch, love them…

- Elle is so certain that her flirting didn’t work, and not the fact that she’s so overwhelmingly lovely that Tao doesn’t know what to do with himself…

- “Every time.” “Every time.” Every time that they have a sleep over, Isaac begins and finishes a book just as they leave? Isaac, do you sleep?

- Nick feeling more confident now that all their friends, including Imogen, know and are cool, and going back to kiss Charlie. And Charlie not being worried about it either.

- “I can’t believe people think you’re straight”, meanwhile Imogen looks a bit uncomfortable because until sports-day she also thought that Nick was straight.

- Julio Spring saying hanky-panky repeatedly exceeded my expectations.

- Tori’s eyes filling with tears as she asks Charlie if he’s not worried about being bullied again.

- Does Nick know how fucking protective and precious Charlie is about him???? Aarrrrghhhh‼‼

THIS EPISODE OF HEARTSTOPPER IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY SEROTONIN™.

On to the next!!!

[rel312]

God that scene in the last episode was just…

The way Charlie physically closes himself off and Nick sits at his level and gently pulls him back open again

The way Nick literally holds Charlie’s hand through the conversation

The way Charlie allows himself to trust Nick

The way Nick looks so heartbroken that anybody made Charlie feel bad about himself

The way Charlie makes the decision to tell Nick about his SH

The way Nick realizes there’s even more going on than just Charlie’s ED and braces himself to hear it

The way Charlie allows himself to admit his feelings and acknowledge that he doesn’t deserve to feel like that anymore

The way Nick can’t help but hug him

The way Charlie grabs him back and buries his face in Nick’s neck

The way Nick is trying not to cry/be strong for Charlie

The way Nick’s head falls in relief when Charlie said he doesn’t hurt himself anymore

The way Nick won’t allow Charlie to be sorry for this

The way Nick doesn’t put him down or tell him not to do it again, but instead makes Charlie promise to tell him if it gets that bad again

The way Charlie still thinks he’s a burden

The way Nick looks so sad that Charlie would think that of himself

The way Nick gently reassures him that he could never see Charlie as broken or a burden

The way Nick is showing how strong he thinks Charlie is

The way Nick wants to be Charlie’s rock because that’s what Charlie is to him

The way Nick is struggling not to cry

The way Charlie finally accepts that Nick really just wants to help him

The way Nick cradles Charlie’s face

The way it looks like he’s going in for a kiss but is actually going to the forehead for the most tender kiss

The way he immediately goes to rest their foreheads together, just exuding ultimate comfort

The way he goes in for a sweet kiss

The way he’s almost ready to say “I love you” but is interrupted

The way he knows it’s not the right moment

The way Charlie knows anyway

The way Charlie looks like he can’t believe any of this is happening to him, that it’s real, that someone loves him

The long, slow, sweet kiss goodbye

The way neither of them want to leave each other

The way Charlie lingers in the driveway

The way Nick takes a deep breath and lets himself really feel everything once Charlie’s gone

The way Charlie is ready to say “I love you” back

Joe and Kit acted their asses off for this and I’m so so proud of them

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

It can’t be over! It can’t be! How long will it be before my next dose of serotonin? Although rewatching helps, absolutely, but my god, that cliffhanger! Those last moments of the episode just leave you yearning for more. More Paris Squad, more in-depth looks into their individual stories, more Nick & Charlie, more more MORE!

I’m glad that Alice Oseman is already hard at work on the season 3 script. I hope they’re as inspired as ever.

EPISODE 8 - PERFECT

- Baby Queen’s “Colours of you” makes an appearance/comeback. I don’t know, but I feel like a lot of people said that it was about how Nick makes Charlie feel, how his world is black and white until Nick comes into his life (I don’t know if maybe Baby Queen said that), but to me it was always more the other way around: that Nick’s life was very black and white until he met Charlie, because not only did he realize he liked Charlie, but he also realized this whole other part of himself, in the form of the colors of the rainbow (queer pride).

- Comments to Nick’s post coming out as bi are a a mix of joyful and shocked but a few awful people just taking up space too.

- Charlie saying that his life is perfect right now and that everything’s perfect, whilst Nick knows it’s not, because Charlie still has an eating disorder, and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

- “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” “Is that a serious question?” Love them.

- Tara and Sahar, I hope you’ve learned your lesson: never ever take part in an organization committee.

- I was weirded out by the fact that they included prom in the show, since I thought there was no high school prom in the UK. It just seems like such an American/gringo thing (we have prom in my country, but it’s nothing like the gringo prom… mine was so weird and lame). But it turns out that they do have it in the UK now, likely made popular by all the classic teen dramas and rom coms that take place in high schools from the United States. But since it wasn’t in the comic either, I still thought it was a strange addition at first. However, the whole group dynamic made it work.

- Coach Singh coaxing Mr Ajayi to text Mr Farouk… that whole interaction was so precious…

- People just openly coming up to Nick and Charlie to ask if it’s true that they’re dating. Children, it’s none of your business, you don’t even know them…

- The conversation between Tao and Nick, Tao’s face as Nick mentions that Charlie is still affected by the bullying… poor Tao, he really didn’t mean for that to happen, that’s why he’s so protective of Charlie. And Nick’s face when Tao mentions his dad dying, like he’s really surprised that Tao is opening up to him. “Didn’t know about your dad…” “Don’t be weird about it.” “I’ll try.” “Good.”

- And their faces when they both realize that neither knows how bad the bullying was, because Charlie hasn’t opened up to either of them completely about it.

- And Nick and Charlie both looking so handsome in their suits, and being so gaga for each other. “I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend…” “You look… sooo… goooood! YOU LOOK SOOOO GOOD!” My favorite thing about this new season is that I’ve lost count of how many times Nick can’t resist the urge to pick up Charlie. I’m making a montage.

- “And a big public appearance as a couple… that’s definitely what we want?” Nick knows how much the attention might overwhelm Charlie. But Charlie’s not thinking about that, he’s trying to focus on the good part, the fact that he has an amazing boyfriend, that they can be together without hiding now.

- Darcy watching sourly as a mother picks up and comforts her small child, indicating that her bad relationship with her mother is not a new thing, her mother has never been nurturing or comforting or loving. And of course, how is Darcy supposed to know how to love someone if she has never been shown love in her entire life?

- Best scene ever: Elle’s dad being a ten feet tall burly man, pretending to be intimidating but then laughing it off. Will Gao’s awkward nervous laugh sends me.

- His reaction to Elle’s whole look. “You look… you… you’re so… Hello…” He’s so smitten.

- Seriously, Tao and Elle being the hottest, most stylish couple at the prom. Tara’s dress, though, is my absolute favorite.

- Tao and Elle being silly and cute for photos, and the four original friends taking a cheesy studio photo together. Love them.

- “I can’t believe Nick’s showing off his boyfriend, but none of you managed to bring a girl!” How does Harry manage to say something ‘nice’ and still make it sound like bullying? AAAND you didn’t bring a girl either, Harry, so what’s your deal??? He’s just loudly seeking attention. Where’s Tao when you need him to shut Harry down with a snarky comeback??

- The boys teasing Nick about being the first one in a relationship, like it’s no big deal. But my favorite was Christian going “I could get a girlfriend, how about Tara Jones?” Awww, has he genuinely liked Tara this whole time, or was she the first one that came to his mind? (I think he genuinely didn’t remember she’s a lesbian).

- Tara’s “How do you talk to someone about something they don’t want to talk about?” And Nick realizing that that’s what’s happening with Charlie. “Maybe you just have to try, even if it doesn’t work”. They both have to go for it. I love their friendship.

- Baby Queen‼!

- The dance routine, Elle and Tao living their best movie sequence.

- The little neon butterflies as Elle tells Tao she wants to go to Lambert, and he tells her that he knows. Yes he knows, and he knows that it will make him happy to see Elle happy, even if that means letting her go. He has to overcome his fear of abandonment. He’s not being abandoned, they’re just growing up.

- THE ACE BOOK. Give it to mee‼! Isaac is looking for an identity. And I love that it cuts to James enjoying himself too, and Tori being content by herself at a table. I hope we get more of Tori’s story in future Heartstopper seasons (and the comic too).

- And the teachers are going on an actual date!

- I don’t know what that meant, Imogen getting sort of misty-eyed looking up at Sahar playing. Maybe she’s realizing that she might have feelings for her, but my interpretation is that, since Imogen claimed that she needed to focus on herself, and since the whole season she has seemed pretty lonely, and we find out that she and Sahar used to be friends until Imogen got a boyfriend and they stopped talking to each other (regardless of who stopped first), and because Sahar revealed that she was bi and Imogen got caught unawares and thought maybe she should have known that, that Imogen’s reaction was more of a wanting to rekindle that friendship. As we saw with Tao and Charlie, and maybe now even Nick and Tao, friendships and platonic relationships are given the same importance in Heartstopper as romantic ones. Not all stares mean romance. And Imogen is looking for friends right now. (Although if it does lead to romance, I wouldn’t be mad about it… and who can deny the Lesbian Lighting??? Maybe Imogen IS into girls after all…) “Youuu, soft and lonely…”

- Isaac getting his heartstopper moment when he holds the book to his chest. YES ISAAC!

- Charlie asserting himself and asking Nick if they can leave, because he’s tired and uncomfortable of people staring and pointing. Everyone’s been so nice to their face about them coming out as a couple, but that doesn’t mean that Charlie’s not going to be worried about someone saying something nasty to either him or Nick, and it doesn’t mean that he’s not possibly going to have horrible flashbacks to being bullied. And Nick once again realizing that he doesn’t care about parties, he just wants to be with Charlie.

- Seriously, Sarah needs to adopt Darcy, replace David.

- Why would Darcy’s mum see Tara in her dress and think “oh no, a door-to-door salesperson?” She clearly doesn’t want to deal with anyone, but maybe even worse, she just wants to quickly get rid of a black girl standing at her doorstep.

- “She had another one of her tantrums last night.” Like this is typical and so it’s not a big deal that she has no idea where her daughter is…

- Group hug to heal my soul.

- “I wanted to be that person for you…” My heart. Tara and Darcy finally talking. “You’ve only seen half of my life.” “And now i’ve seen the other half, and I still love you.” “Are you sure? Because I’m a literal disaster.” “Oh I know.” That is so sweet. And Darcy practicing saying I love you until it feels normal and natural. So joyful.

- By the way, only Heartstopper can get me to listen to Taylor Swift. No offense to all the Swifties (including Patrick Watson), I love your love for Taylor, but I really don’t get it, her music just doesn’t get to me. Admittedly that song was nice for this moment. But that’s about it. But anyway… don’t come at me. I just prefer Baby Queen and Orla Gartland and beabadobee and Carly Rae Jepsen and Gabrielle Aplin and Wolf Alice and Carmody and girl in red much more in this soundtrack. AND THAT WASIA PROJECT SONG‼ Weeping‼

- I love how warm and sweet everyone in the group is to each other. Look at Tao and Nick hugging! Look at how Nick and Tara and Darcy are as much a part of the group as if they had been there for as long as the other four have been tight. Everyone deserves a friend group like that.

- I love that they included that bit from the little comic answering fan questions, where Nick realizes that maybe he’s had a crush on a boy before.

- “Now your turn”. Nick really wants Charlie to be able to open up to him, about anything. Charlie deflects, as always, and says that they don’t need to talk about it because everything’s fine, but the truth is he doesn’t want to talk about it, he doesn’t want to deal with those feelings. But if he never does, he’s just never going to move past that. And Nick wants to help him, even if it’s hard, even if it’s painful, he wants to understand. “You don’t have to be perfect with me.” Charlie just shrinking into himself…

- That whole conversation, it was an impeccable performance from Joe and Kit, and I’m crying again… Nick can’t even fathom that anyone would call this beautiful boy disgusting, and he can’t even fathom the pain that would cause Charlie to hurt himself, he doesn’t even know what to do… but he’s there, he’ll be there, and he wants Charlie to know how much he cares about him. It’s so soft, the hugs, the soft voices, the kiss on the forehead, the tearful kiss, and telling him how much he loves everything about him…

- Serial hoodie thief.

- That deep sigh… that terrified look…

- Spoiler alert: Charlie doesn’t send the text… of course not… he quickly realizes that he wouldn’t just say that for the first time over text… he wants to really mean it.

This episode is brought to you by TIPTOE KISSES™.

Looking forward to next season:

- Sara and Nick’s talk at the beach in Menorca. It will destroy me, but it will be worth it.

- The ‘I love you’ shower scene, and subsequent street chase.

- The beach, and Nick and Charlie both blushing when Charlie’s putting sunscreen on Nick’s back.

- More from The Teachers™ ‼

- I’m not ready for Charlie writing the note to read to his parents… I’ll never be ready… I’ll weep until I’m out of tears…

- Charlie possibly speaking Spanish… listen Joe, Kit had to learn French, Spanish is NOTHING compared to that, you’ll be fine.

- In the comic, after Charlie faints, there’s that funny moment when Nick says “Charlie, I’m not gonna start acting like I’m your doctor and you’re my patient… *seductive smirk* *eyebrow wiggle* unless you’re into that…” “SHUT UP!” I need this moment, I need it so bad…

- More about Elle’s family, please. I already love her parents. More about all the families, really.

- More Tori, hopefully.

MORE HEARTSTOPPER, PLEASE!

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

Still in Paris, and things get haute in different ways. Between Nick and Charlie, between Nick and Ben, between Tara and Darcy, and between Tao and Elle (ooh la la). A lot of healthy communication, a lot of bold attempts at communication, and a few plot twists.

On with l'episode!

EPISODE 5 - HEAT

- Poor Nick double-texted his dad, and no reply. Do better, Stephane.

- “Did I do that?” “I didn’t even know how to do that.” Well, you know now, Nick.

- Tao freaking out at Nick for giving Charlie a hickey. “We will be having words”. Will Gao’s facial expressions are peak comedy.

- “I blame Nick entirely.” “That’s fair.” I love how casual Nick is, like “yeah, my mouth did that, no doubt about it, guilty over here”.

- Elle, you can't just go around being lovely and flawless and stylish like that... ugh, you need to staaahp...

- “It wasn’t just his fault, I was also involved.” “Uuuuuurgh, no need for gory details”. He’s such a dad! Tao, this is your fault for leaving the room, you shouldn’t have trusted your children to keep their hands off each other.

- I’m amused by the performative teasing from the straight boys, who are all probably a bit jealous because they are nowhere near getting or giving hickeys, so…

- You know who is more than a bit jealous? Ben in the back there, staring longingly. Like he really doesn’t care that he got called out last night for his starkly obvious obsession with Charlie, or getting dumped for it, because he’s still not entirely discreet about it.

- Nick is definitely the boyfriend that carries all the things. “I’ll pack you a croissant.” That’s an ‘I love you’ right there. Nick is the acts of service boyfriend.

- A lot of green today too, on Charlie’s sweater, and Nick’s t-shirt, and Tao’s butterfly print (of course he’s wearing butterflies), and Jame’s jacket.

- Poor James being dragged into it. Which is worse when you find out that he used to have a crush on Charlie. I love how he tells all the boys “it wasn’t me”, and they just stare at him as neutral as possible, because they all obviously know who it was.

- Benny Ben, what was that look? Are you reaching your breaking point? Meanwhile, Imogen looking fresh and cute, we love to see it. Also Charlie looks extra cute today too, green suits him very much, but also his curls are like perfect (yeah, we’re all obsessed with Charlie, Ben. You’re nothing special, Ben.)

- What the hell is this system that the teachers used to assign the couples? Very random but also very convenient. It was probably Mr Farouk wanting to watch some drama unfold. He knows Ben and Nick don’t like each other, and he’s just stirring the pot.

- “Sir, I don’t wanna go with Nick Nelson.” “I don’t give a rat’s arse, rude boy.” Mr Farouk is a legend. And Imogen watching, very satisfied that Ben doesn’t get his way.

- Love Isaac calling out Harry, and love that he actually got through to him, and we’re all here for it. “Where’s your basic human empathy?” “Leave it out, book boy.” I love that the only thing he could come up about Isaac at that moment is his love of books, like it’s an insult…? Didn’t expect to get called out, and by book boy of all people, did you, Harry?

- James interrogating Charlie about Isaac. Heart.

- And Tara attempting again to talk to Darcy about feelings, and Darcy deflecting left and right. Poor Darcy, she’s so stressed about it.

- Here’s one of the very few things that didn’t quite click with me in the expansion of the Ben storyline, but it actually might fit perfectly with him and the way that we have seen him before. He’s so preoccupied with Charlie or Nick outing him, and he wants to appear so tough, that he doesn’t realize that he might be the one blowing his own cover. In his conversations with Nick, he’s so loud when he says that Nick is just jealous because Charlie liked him first, or that he might want Charlie back, that I kept thinking “either something’s going to happen with this, or they expect me to believe that he’s being discreet”, but maybe it was the latter. Or maybe it’s, as I mentioned before, that Ben has been so preoccupied with the idea that people might be paying attention to him all the time, which resulted in him being an asshole to Charlie, only for all of that to crumble now.

- “What if I said that I want Charlie back?” The way that Nick closes his eyes, like he’s so tired, he’s so done with Ben. He keeps blaming Nick for what happened with Charlie, and he keeps making excuses, and keeps comparing himself to Nick, and it must be so stressful for Nick, to have to deal with that on top of everything else, on top of the hickey, on top of everyone talking about Charlie, and on top of his own stress about coming out.

- “At least I was nice enough not to give him a hickey where everyone could see.” The thing about this comment from Ben is that, not only is he comparing his relationship to Charlie with Nick’s relationship to Charlie, but he still thinks that, like him, Nick won’t come out and his goal is to continue the relationship in secret. So Ben somehow rationalizes that he was a better choice of partner for Charlie because he “managed to keep the secret” (which he didn’t, really, because Nick caught them, and in the worst scenario). Meanwhile he’s still choosing to ignore all the other reasons why he was absolutely not a good partner for Charlie. Or Imogen. Or anyone.

- Did Heartstopper also manage to shut down the Eiffel Tower??? Well done, production team.

- Tara being a doll and holding Imogen’s hand because Imogen is scared of heights (or something like that). That whole Eiffel Tower scene was flawless.

- “Let’s get a selfie for my mum.” “She’s gonna love that.” He’s such a mamma’s boy, love him for that.

- The “Hey Nick, is that hickey from you then?” “What if it was? You jealous?” scene going directly from page to screen flawlessly.

- “Did Harry just stick up for us?” “I think he did.” Yes, he did, and you have life coach Isaac Henderson to thank for that.

- “You, um, you do know… it was me, right?” Then glances down at Charlie’s lips… Good job, Nicholas, top rate flirting on the Eiffel tower, Nicholas.

- I do like that they changed from Aled (or in this case Isaac) telling Charlie that Tao outed him, and instead having Tao own up to it himself. It’s probably been sitting with him for so long, and the reason why he’s so protective, and why he lost his shit that morning about the hickey, because much like Tori, he worries about Charlie being bullied again, but he’s also feeling so guilty about it. But that whole conversation about their friendship, and the little flashback to them being kids, ugh, so adorable.

- “Even if you make mistakes sometimes, you’re a good person who deserves love”. Ugh Charlie, my precious.

- Also, how cute that we’ve gotten Nick and Tara and Charlie and Tao childhood flashbacks so far, and I wonder if we’ll get more (I don’t know how these things are handled, if any one can share, because I’m assuming that, if we got a flashback to Elle as a younger child, she would be presenting as a boy… how would that be handled? What about the name? But I’d love to see a Darcy flashback, an Isaac flashback, a Tori flashback, an Imogen flashback, a Sahar flashback… the possibilities are endless now…)

- Love them, love their friendship, love how friendships are given the same importance as romantic relationships. And I love how secure in his sexuality Tao is, that he will hug and kiss Charlie and not worry about what people might say.

- Give me more Darcy being confused about her expectations vs reality. “Are we really underwater? Then why can’t we see any fish?” “That’s the Mona Lisa??? That’s it? It’s rubbish!!! It’s this big…” “I’d be so mugged off if I posed for a painting and they just painted the back of my head…”

- I love how Elle internalizes what Nick said, and what Imogen said the day before, and just realized that her and Tao don’t need to be perfect or long term, but if she doesn’t take the chance she will never find out. So she just goes for it.

- “He genuinely thinks he still has a chance of getting back with you.” “He doesn’t.” I’m sad that Charlie sounded so reassuring and relaxed, but he was already trying to hide that he was starting to feel weak and ill.

- Either Charlie called Nick much louder, or that’s just how in tune with him Nick is all the time. And anyone who’s ever fainted knows what it feels and sounds like, and it’s exactly like this. Also the feeling of regaining consciousness and feeling absolutely disoriented, and like you can’t hear well… horrible.

- I love the little homage to The Princess Diaries, with Elle’s foot popping up. And they really are the most stylish couple.

- The teachers, oh my god‼! Mr Farouk humoring Mr Ajayi by doing the pose perfectly. And then Mr Farouk holding out for a fist bump and him actually smiling.

- "I want to understand." Nick fucking Nelson really set the bar way too fucking high for all teenage boyfriends.

- "You are not rejecting the croissant that I lovingly carried for you all day." Heart.

- Also Nick teasing Charlie for blushing about Nick speaking French.

- I loved the live-action playing out of Nick teasing Charlie and pushing him to the floor. With the grumpy French guard (who apparently is played by director Euros Lyn) being like “no hanky-panky in the museum!”

- Actually they’re both setting the bar way too high for teenage relationships, with their healthy communication and their caring so much about each other. Aspirational.

This episode is brought to you by Mr Farouk's sass. (Not a registered trademark... yet).

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

This one is going to be looooong, because I delve deep into THAT scene (you know which one). The Paris Squad is back to reality, and for some it’s harsher than others, it’s facing some harsh truths and some changes and some situations that they’re not ready for… There are some very cathartic moments, and some not

Off we go!

EPISODE 7 - SORRY

- Love Tara’s super colorful, kind of 70s vibe bedroom decor, especially that bedspread.

- Tara’s mum’s exasperated face clearly saying “you really expect me to believe that you’ve been asleep in separate beds this entire time?”

- Nick’s smile fading as soon as he notices Charlie’s plate in the photo. And Charlie’s smile fading when Ben’s message comes through. Excuse me, Charlie, why haven’t you blocked him? Unless you did, and now he’s created a new account…? (Didn’t it use to say Ben Hope, and now it says ben_h_999?)

- Even better than Tara’s colorful room is Elle’s super artsy maximalist bedroom. Need to analyze every single element in it. I particularly love her bed, the wall color, that line of hanging leaves, and the flat metal solar system.

A little sad that we didn’t get to see the moment which inspired Elle to finish her art piece. Did she get over her artistic block before the terrible date with Tao? It would have been interesting to understand that, despite her new friendship with Naomi and Felix, she still found inspiration in her old friends.

- I love that Tao’s mum is not so traditional that she would object to her son dating a non-Asian, Black trans girl, but traditional enough that she’s spreading the news to all the aunties, like they’ve all been waiting for this, like they got together all the time and talked about when is Tao going to get his head in the game and get together with Elle??? “We’ve all been waiting for this day! The perfect girl for my perfect boy!” Also love that Tao’s dance moves are still as histrionic as ever.

- Sometimes I’m Tori, but when it comes to traveling, I’m definitely Charlie. But I’m definitely Tori when it comes to worrying about who’s that texting my little brother so insistently, making Charlie look sour.

- Both Tao and Elle changing their minds about what they were going to text, but in Tao’s case it’s because he didn’t want to be a downer, and in Elle’s case it’s because she hasn’t made up her mind because of Tao.

- I wonder why the stink smoke/aura cartoon around Darcy’s house is purple, when purple is supposed to be the color of queer pride… and there’s none of that in Darcy’s house.

- Isaac not even laughing off the funny comments of “ooh, they’re gonna kiss”. I think it’s interesting that the whole show is about not assuming people’s sexuality or gender identity just based on speculation or how they look or act or whatever, but it also shows that even queer people make that mistake. James assumed that Isaac was gay, and all of Isaac’s friends seem to be under the same impression, or at least think that he’s something… but nobody assumes he might be asexual. I know I talk enough about thinking that this person or that person is good-looking or beautiful or hot, that people assume that I’m talking about attraction. And maybe if your friend group is composed of couples, and mostly same-sex couples, people will assume “this one hasn’t found a mate yet, but they will”, because you’re likely to, just like the rest of them…?

- Ben’s intensity and guilt-tripping is just more proof that it’s about him, about what he wants, and not about what Charlie might want.

- Nick asking Charlie hesitantly if he wants to be his prom date, and Charlie being shocked, AS IF THEY WEREN’T ALREADY BOYFRIENDS AND CRAZY ABOUT EACH OTHER. Children, get a grip.

- Everyone pooling their money so that Darcy can buy the suit… my heart…

- Isaac talking to James really filled all the little holes and crevices in my heart, until James says “there’s nothing wrong with you… you probably just haven’t found the right person yet,” because of course he doesn’t get it either. Most people probably don’t. So that’s what we’re told our entire lives. It’s like we think we will, but it just doesn’t work that way…but nobody tells us that, so we keep looking and waiting and feeling disappointed and wondering if we’re broken.

- But Isaac shouting and ranting at his friends was sooooo cathartic‼ Sorry guys, but mind your own business!

- Elle’s exhibition outfit is so lovely‼ But… the light turning to a sickly green on Tao as he realizes that Elle has been accepted and she’s moving away and her life is changing and she has new friends and…

- Love that the light changes to red when Isaac is listening to the artist talk about being aroace… because being asexual is just as valid as any other sexuality about love. And the comic leaves beginning to flutter around him, because he’s beginning to understand, that maybe that’s him… “Crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out…”

- Elle’s style is very nice, you can definitely see that she’s a fan of Renoir, of these still scenes that captures action and movement, albeit a subdued action, like a candid photo. I love that we get to see the art classroom tree again, even if only in painting, we only got a glimpse of that room this season, it is sadly missed…

- “Please don’t base your decisions on how I feel.” That is inevitable, but it’s good that you’re saying it. A lot of growth from Tao during the course of the season, well done.

- Ben looks like he hasn’t slept in days, and he literally traveled all the way to Lambert School (which, as Tao repeatedly has stated, is sooo far away), because he saw Elle’s post and he knew that Charlie would be there, and he’s still… hopeful? (Pun not intended). Charlie, what is this magic that you cast on boys that even the shittiest person in the world is torn up about you???

- By the way, yet more green in Ben’s jacket, because green is the color of hope. He’s wearing his heart on his sleeve for once. He looks tired and a bit disheveled, with dark circles under his eyes, like he hasn’t slept properly, and he looks desperate.

- THIS WHOLE SCENE. Man… this whole scene. Joe Locke and Sebastian Bash fucking hit it out of the ballpark. Let me just…

- “If you really hate me after this, you’ll never see me again”. Here’s the thing: Ben’s whole rant is still not an apology, he’s still not acknowledging the things he did to Charlie, especially not the awful assault, and excusing himself behind being messed up and the fear of not being accepted by his parents (it’s a valid fear, but it doesn’t validate his actions). The fact that he at least acknowledges that he was a shit person and that he admits that he really liked Charlie whilst genuinely smiling makes me think that he’s not completely beyond hope (again, pun not intended), BUUUUUUUT (and this is something the girlies out there need to understand, I’ve been seeing a lot of unfortunate comments complaining that Ben is being overly demonized, and whether that means that he should suffer forever and not have any chance at redemption…) if he really wants to redeem himself, if he really wants to be a better person and make up for the pain and trauma, then he’ll actually do the work, he’ll actually get help, and he’ll work from the ground up, and he’ll apologize to Imogen too, and he’ll stop discharging all his self-hatred onto other more vulnerable people, and downplaying their feelings and hurt. He really hasn’t grasped the magnitude of the hurt that he caused Charlie, and he’s not going to get anywhere until he does. So I’m glad that Charlie tells him, and maybe this time the information was actually absorbed. (I know in the comic this speech was actually Charlie’s response to Harry apologizing for being a homophobic bully, and as much as that was satisfying, the dry “NO” before shutting the door in his face was even more satisfying. Harry’s behavior did kind of deserve that whole speech, but Ben’s absolutely deserved it more, plus everything else that Alice added, because Charlie didn’t need that closure in the comic, and maybe comic Ben didn’t need it or want it either, or maybe he did, but TV show Ben ABSOLUTELY needed to hear everything that Charlie told him, so that he could finally get it in his head). “You don’t get to ambush me into forgiving you…”

- For a moment, as Ben is explaining that his parents would never accept him, Charlie looks a bit… sad… almost sympathetic. Yes, it’s terrible to know that Ben is not that lucky in that aspect as he is, or as Nick is, etc. But then you have someone like Darcy, who much like Ben, knows that her parents would never accept her. But Darcy would never have done to Tara what Ben did to Charlie…

- And it made me realize, back in season 1 episodes 1 and 2, when Charlie recounts how he met Ben, how they started out, there is no electricity, no heartstopper moment, even before Charlie first met Nick... at no point (that we can see, at least) Charlie ever felt the flutter and excitement that he experienced when he first saw Nick, when he was near him, when their hands touched for the first time, when they were about to kiss for the first time. It was like, deep down, he knew it meant nothing, because of the secrecy, because of how Ben treated him the rest of the time, how the "magic" was zapped as soon as Ben said something like "don't tell anyone about this" and wiped his mouth and just walked out without another word...

- Heartstopper does an excellent job of showing and talking about the importance of consent and agency and communication in healthy relationships, and every instance of how bad it was between Charlie and Ben is comparable to how great it is between Charlie and Nick. Whilst Ben didn’t ask before kissing Charlie the first time, Charlie actually asked Nick before they kissed, because he would never do to Nick what Ben did to him (and they do this in multiple occasions, vocally asking each other, like at the arcade, and at the park, and in that empty classroom), and Charlie even apologized because he still worried that he might have manipulated Nick into kissing him, possibly have taken away his agency; Nick didn’t ignore Charlie at school even when he was still closeted, whilst Ben acted like Charlie even randomly saying hi to him was a huge offense; Nick constantly talked with Charlie about figuring out his sexuality and possibly coming out once he did, whilst Ben just cuttingly said that he was “figuring stuff out” but not wanting to talk about it with Charlie, the only person he knew who might have understood; and whilst Ben was suddenly kissing a girl outside the school gate without telling Charlie anything about it, Nick immediately told Charlie that he panicked and accepted a date with Imogen, even when he had no plan of going, and how bad he felt about it and that he was going to fix it. Even Nick’s behavior toward Imogen is comparable to Ben’s, that he knew that Imogen liked him but tried to find the nicest, most gentle way of turning her down and then making sure they could stay friends afterwards, whilst Ben used her for popularity and just to keep up appearances whilst still pining over Charlie, and thus treating her horribly and ignoring her, and not even being discreet at all and openly ogling Charlie in front of her… The point is, even if Ben can’t come out to his parents because he’s afraid of being rejected, and even if he’s afraid of being out at school as well, being a shit person was still a choice he made. He took advantage of Charlie’s crush on him to treat him however he pleased, kissing him in dark classrooms, to fulfill his own wants, but being mean and disdainful in public, and knowing that Charlie would put up with it because Charlie had been bullied horribly and this was the first sliver of “affection” he received after being outed, and he couldn’t believe that this cute popular boy wanted to kiss him and he simply didn’t know he could have better (thankfully he knows that now). And now that the damage is done Ben realizes that he actually really, genuinely liked Charlie this whole time and wants to be forgiven just because he’s come to his senses?

- This is why Charlie’s response is the most fucking satisfying thing ever. He tells Ben very plainly the damage that he caused, but that he’s not allowing it anymore. There’s a difference between apologizing and asking for forgiveness: when you apologize, you’re acknowledging that you did something wrong and that you’re sorry and that you’ll do your best to learn from your mistakes, but also acknowledge that the other person doesn’t have to forgive you, whilst to ask for forgiveness does not necessarily mean that the person has realized the wrongdoing or that the wrongdoing won’t happen again, but instead just places the burden of basically putting the wrongdoing behind on the other person. Ben didn’t properly apologized as he said he would, instead placing the blame on the fact that outside factors have made him a messed up person (his parents, pressumably), and basically tacitly asked Charlie to see the good in him, to give him another chance. But Charlie doesn’t have to give it to him, he doesn’t deserve it. No Ben, if you really want to redeem yourself, if you really want “something good”, you’re going to have to work on yourself, work for it, and earn it. And leave Charlie alone, he doesn’t have to put up with you anymore. At least Charlie won’t have to see him anymore. Assault and abuse victims shouldn’t have to see their assaulters/abusers all the time, like a constant fucking reminder of a horrible event in their lives that they’re trying to put behind them.

- And you can see it in Ben’s face, the little flash of anger as his eye sort of twitches, and his nostrils flare a little, and his jaw clenches, because as much as he claims to like Charlie, he still probably likes or needs to be in control of him, and he’s realizing he really has no control over Charlie anymore, Charlie is not saying what he expected him to say or doing what he hoped he would do, but is instead telling him some very harsh truths, and he’s just going to have to deal with it.

- And now that he’s heard Charlie’s piece, now that he really knows what he’s done, Ben has a chance to start working on himself, starting by finding community, the beautiful rainbow wave inviting him in, to come and see for himself that he doesn’t have to be alone, that he doesn’t have to hate himself or be afraid or hurt anyone else anymore, that he can possibly have a fresh start… and he backs off and walks away… which is hard to see… as much as we hate Ben Hope, you wish he’d stop being a shit person, we don’t need more shit people in this world, but… things can’t be perfect, even on a show like Heartstopper… so Ben hasn’t started his journey toward redemption… yet. But hopefully he will eventually (again, pun not intended). We just won’t see it.

- (I wonder if this means that we’re definitely not getting that part of the story that converges between Solitaire, Alice Oseman’s first novel, and the comic if/when the storylines meet. As in, if the comic gets that far, are we still not getting that part of the story in the show? No more Ben ever, no Ben dating Tori’s friend Becky, no nasty encounter in the lockers?)

- I just realized that Nick and Charlie get back from Lambert and directly go to Nick’s house for the Nelson-Spring dinner. Charlie’s so chill, even after confronting Ben earlier, bantering and jokingly saying “mate”.

- Seriously, David is such a bully, and yet obviously still yearning for his father’s attention and affection… Meanwhile, you can tell that Sarah doesn’t really want to hang out with her ex, but she puts up with it because it’s important to her boys. And she’s wearing green too. Hope for this evening to go well…

- Again, Sarah reaffirms to Nick that he doesn’t owe it to his dad to come out to him, and I love that. Nick knows that but he doesn’t want to do it for his dad, he wants to do it for himself. It’s one less person to tell, but also being able to tell them in his own terms. Which his asshole brother nearly ruined completely.

- Tori monitoring the whole situation. Love you, Tori. And Sarah really struggling not to roll her eyes when Stephane says that rugby is a very attractive sport to women. Guessing that it didn’t work on her, or maybe it did and now she regrets it…?

- Stephane really being so oblivious as to why, during one of his very sporadic visits, Nick's "friend" and his whole family are invited to dinner...

- Jenny Walser really nailed Tori’s death grip on David. Love you, Tori. And David looking a bit intimidated...? Bet he wasn't expecting that...

- This scene is so well done, the build up to it, Nick’s spiel, Stephane looking around and realizing “oh I really was the only one who didn’t know”, and Sarah smiling when Nick says he likes who he is and his life, and her arguing with David and Stephane, and everyone looking tense. Everyone’s so good at every instant, even in the most subtle reactions.

- Sarah basically saying “yeah, I don’t understand why your father doesn’t care about you, he has no idea what he’s missing”, and then hugs him as if to reassure him that she does care about him and loves him. Olivia Colman really is the perfect Sarah.

- Nick owning his dad with that goodbye. And Stephane not remembering where David goes to uni… David also needed to hear that maybe his dad is not as great as he hoped, and realizing that he really needs to do better.

- Again, Jenny Walser is the perfect Tori. She’s equal parts uninterested and protective. Do not mess with her or anyone she cares about, David, you pathetic little man.

- Sarah making a point of assuring Jane that Nick really cares for Charlie, because she probably can tell that Jane is not entirely fond of Nick. (I’m thinking Nick probably told her about Charlie being grounded for spending too much time with him, and the way that Charlie’s mum is with him, probably). And I love Tori telling Nick in the background “your brother’s a prick” and I need to know what she said or what he responded because they both smiled at each other conspiratorially. Probably something along the lines of “I kicked his phone for good measure”, “well done, he deserved that”).

- Nick has been mostly focused on his predicament about whether coming out to his dad or not, and suddenly realizes that Charlie’s eating disorder is still manifesting…

- Darcy’s home situation is very similar to Aled and Carys Last's in Radio Silence. Even though Isaac is the replacement of Aled in the series, so far we only see the ace spec aspect of Aled reflected on Isaac (I mean, his mum seemed nice in that school scene, but what do we know), whilst we know from the comic that Darcy’s home life is difficult, but we don’t get much detail, and I think Alice used the show as an opportunity to give Darcy the Aled’s mother storyline from Radio Silence, to show us an awful reality of many queer teens, those that aren’t lucky like Nick or Charlie or Tara or Elle or even Tao… a lot of teens don’t have the support they wish they did at home, the unconditional love that a parent is supposed to have for their children, queer or not. And it’s not easy to escape that. Either you find safe haven in parts of that “home”, or you put up with it, or you get the hell away from them, but as a minor, how do you get away and make it in the world? (I sincerely wish there was a way to prevent people from becoming parents unless they were actually willing to accept their children no matter what. You can’t choose what your children will be, and you can’t force them to become what you want them to be, so just… don’t fucking have children if all you’re going to do is make their lives miserable.)

- So Darcy chooses to get away from that situation, at least temporarily, but… once she’s out of the house, she realizes that she doesn’t know what to do now. Where is she supposed to go? She puts up this front of a girl who’s very confident in her sexuality, whilst she’s not even out to her mother who clearly would not take it well… so she’s full of shame, and she doesn’t call anyone or tell anyone where she’s going, because that would mean having to explain. And now I'm devastated...

This episode is brought to you by the ACEUPHORIA™.

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

We’re in Paris! I can’t believe the Paris trip takes up so much of the time of the season. I do love the pacing of the season, and how they distributed events and moments throughout it, making the most of the locations and situations. I know that most interior scenes were filmed back in the UK, but they really squeezed as much as they could from their stay in Paris (and I need all the bts content from that, what we’ve gotten so far is not enough!). Like Trixie Mattel and Katyana said, only two things can shut down the Louvre: Beyonce and Hearstopper, apparently, who would have thought? It felt like such a nice change of scenery, and really gave the show and the characters a whole new dimension.

On with the episode!

EPISODE 4 - CHALLENGE

- The coach is Blue and Yellow™. And of course a lot of green, especially in the form of Charlie’s iconic green Fjällräven backpack and Nick’s hoodie.

- Nick being super sad about not sitting with Charlie, and Charlie trying to be all upbeat about it, and challenging him to not kiss him for two days. I love their banter.

- Tao’s miserable face as he realizes that, not only is Nick sitting with him for the trip, but Elle doesn’t want to sit with him either. And Nick is oblivious to the fact that the date didn’t go well…

- Ben clearly doesn’t realize how indiscreet he is about his fixation with Charlie. Even Isaac notices something strange is up.

- Ugh, I loooove how much we’re slowly inching our way to finding out more about Isaac. I love that he asks Charlie how he knew he liked Nick, and how he’s trying to figure out how this compares to how he feels about James. God, if that hasn’t been my entire life before I realized too…

- If nobody had told me that Kit Connor didn’t speak French before, I would have simply thought “wow, how lucky that they found the perfect Nick Nelson AND he happens to speak French already.” (I really don’t know if it sounds good or not, but it convinced me…) Also Nick’s little excited face when he’s talking to his dad, because he’s still excited about the possibility of seeing his dad, he hasn’t come to the realization that the effort should come from both parts.

- Also Tao’s face when he realizes that Nick is speaking fluent French and he’s not hearing things. And their cute little bonding moment talking about it. Even when Elle looks over at them, they seem to be looking at something (on a phone?) and talking and laughing. Bonding!

- Mr Farouk actually having a little smile on his face when they’re finally in Paris.

- Ugh, seriously, what is up with Ben??? He doesn’t care about even playing it off for Imogen, and she very quickly catches on.

- “I thought you’d find it awkward sharing with Nick. Just standing next to Elle makes me feel like I’m being electrocuted.” I don’t think I’m quite on board with this completely, seeing as in the show Tao already knows about Nick and Charlie… I thought it would have made more sense if he’d been more like “I just want to make sure that there’s no hanky-panky whilst we’re all in the same room,” and then Charlie could get all flustered and go “ugh you sound like my dad, and no, we’re not doing any of that, not yet…”

- But I love that we got the handholding scene across the space between the beds.

- The teachers being so awkward and adorable. Now kyth!

- Tao should have apologized to Elle for what he said, but at least he extended an olive branch in the form of a bottle of apple juice. And she accepted.

- The dynamic between Nick and Charlie has seriously become so perfect and in tune, the way that Joe and Kit riff off each other whilst being perfectly in character is just chef’s kiss.

- Darcy interrupting the kiss made me think of an ideal world in which Darcy gets adopted by Sara, and the Golden Retriever siblings fight about stupid things all the time, like who’s more in love with their respective partner, and who do they think Nellie loves more, and she continuously barges into Nick’s room when Nick and Charlie are making out and goes “sorry for interrupting the gayness, but I can’t find my phone charger, can I borrow yours? Thank you, my twin. You may proceed with the gayness.”

- “I need a drink. An alcoholic drink.” “We probably shouldn’t drink.” “I need a croissant then”. Number one on the quotes that I’m glad made it right off the comic page.

- “Mischief maker. I’ve influenced you.”

- The I heart Paris hoodie, and Darcy touching the bust’s boobs. Peak Darcy.

- James saying that it’s nice to be with other gay people, and Isaac looking a bit uncomfortable… honey, just because doesn’t seem to respond to people of the opposite sex doesn’t automatically make them gay. Unless he’s using gay as an umbrella term…? Instead of queer…? James knows about Darcy and Tara, and about Charlie, but he doesn’t know about Nick, or presumably Sahar. He’s making assumptions about Isaac.

- Nick not getting why people continue to be fascinated by the fact that he speaks French, or the fact that his dad is French. He’s such an oblivious little pumpkin.

- And that heart to heart between Charlie and Tara. “Me and her were all that mattered.” And Tara being jealous about how Charlie and Nick talk about their feelings.

- The Tao and Elle conversation and whole cutesy montage. And Tao making the French tourists crouch for the photo and everything, figuring out how to talk to them without actually speaking French.

- Peak Ben Hope, seeing Nick waving at Imogen and immediately pulling her toward him, in this horribly possessive manner. Glad that Imogen got fed up with him and bolted. Poor thing has been miserable since arriving at Paris because of Ben, and she at least approaches Nick’s group to ask if she can hang out, which could not have been easy (especially to Nick, with whom she had a disagreement).

- By the way, Imogen in her Paris outfit is giving off major Margot Robbie in Barbie vibes.

- Elle asking Imogen if she even likes Ben, which you can tell that Nick so badly wanted to ask (Elle and Nick even exchange knowing glances), but he didn’t because he knew that he had already tried to warn Imogen about Ben, and maybe she won’t listen to him, but she’ll probably listen to another girl.

- Imogen jumping on the TaoElle ship. “Maybe I don’t have the best track record in relationships (looks knowingly at Nick and he laughs), but I think being honest is better than living with regret”. Yes, Imogen. Like when she took a chance and told Nick that she liked him and then asked him out, and even though he didn’t reciprocate, they still ended up as friends, and he’s so protective of her, and he’s probably the best friend she didn’t know she needed.

- Nick internalizing what Imogen just said too.

- Will Gao is so histrionic, I adore him.

- The whole montage of Mr Farouk arguing (is he arguing? Sorry, but to me French men always sound like their arguing) with the waiter without any subtitles, and then going something about no onions and something else and “I’m serious, big man, I get bloated, it’s not funny, cheers”, made me think for a moment that I want to learn French just so that I can know what he was saying. (The moment has passed).

- The whole Nick and Charlie trying not to sit together all the time majorly backfiring when Ben ends up next to Charlie. The horror. Charlie turns his body toward Tao as much as he can without actually sitting sideways, and Nick is about to throw his whole body across the table.

- Detective Imogen is fully on it now, she’s about to blow this whole case wide open.

- I’ve had escargot and I’m never doing that again. It was fun to try, but yeah, I also felt bad for my terrible decision.

- I may never completely understand the magnitude of Charlie’s eating disorders, because I can’t imagine what that’s like (I used to think that I might have an ED because I’m often so particular about food, because of my anxiety, and at times textures and strong flavors can be overwhelming, but I’ve learned to deal with it, the way I managed to overcome it on my own was kind of similar to the way that Noora from SKAM did, but it was never of the magnitude of Charlie or Noora), but I understand the pressure of “oh shit I ordered this and now I have to eat it because people are watching but I really don’t want to” and fearing making myself sick because of the pressure and the shame and the anxiety of feeling trapped in that situation. Made worse, in Charlie’s case, by Ben sitting next to him and actively looking at him.

- “I haven’t spoken to you in ages”. Sir, that is not a coincidence, there’s a reason for it. Don’t pretend like you don’t know it, SIR.

- I love the panicked look on Nick’s face as Ben starts talking to Charlie. He had seen the seating arrangement and panicked, but then he relaxed for a bit, probably thinking “nah, this asshole wouldn’t dare try to say anything to Charlie in front of everyone, he wouldn’t be so bold”, but then Ben is inexplicable… So Nick nearly rushes off his seat to Charlie’s side to do what? Ask Ben to switch seats with him? Just wedge himself in there until the meal is over? He probably has not a clue what he’ll do but by GOD he will stop this interaction before his boyfriend has to endure it any longer.

- Imagine being Ben (just for a painful second), being so self-centered, being so preoccupied with the paranoia of people watching you all the time and watching your every move and trying to figure you out, that you’d go around being an asshole, especially to the boy that you “like”, to the point where those actions and shitty attitude lose you said boy, only for you to lose all self-awareness when in proximity to said boy, and you’re suddenly staring at him openly, trying to strike up a conversation, and not getting the fucking hint that said boy doesn’t want to talk to you, doesn’t even want to look at you. Imagine those walls crumbling down but you’re absolutely convinced they are still up. Imagine that now people can see right through you and call you out, and you get defensive and start calling them names… Imagine being down so bad for someone (or whatever feelings that you might think you have for said boy) that you’re not even making sense anymore, even later boldly telling said boy’s boyfriend that you want said boy back (even though said boy’s boyfriend is basically twice your size and hates your guts and could probably knock you out with a single punch). Imagine…

- But then imagine being Charlie, a curly-haired human embodiment of sunshine and rainbows, and having to sit next to your ex/assaulter. Period.

- Imogen going off on Ben like we all love to see it, but let’s face it, she was kinder than I expected her to be, by telling him he has issues that he needs to resolve. Go to therapy, Ben! Your energy’s off, Ben! She’s basically telling him what Charlie will repeat in other words later, about him working on himself to be better before he hurts somebody else.

- She calls out Ben for being obsessed with Charlie twice very loudly. Ben would rather chew off his own hand before admitting it, but Imogen hit the nail right in the head. ( kinda want to be given a reason why not one of Charlie's friends jumped up at that, like "wait, what is this about Ben Hope being obsessed with you?" unless they're waiting for Charlie to bring it up himself it at all. But seeing Charlie's reaction, and Nick's horrified face, you'd think they'd be a little curious as to what that is about...)

- And Elle smiling when Imogen says that it’s time she focuses on herself. Yes, Imogen, stop thinking about boys for a while, and focus on what you want.

- I have rewatched everyone’s faces so many times: from the guy over Imogen’s shoulder laughing and trying to look over, to James catching all the tea, to all of Ben’s mates sniggering, but my favorite is that boy between Ben and Harry with the super-expressive eyebrows very dramatically questioning Ben’s whole attitude.

- As everyone’s been saying, when even Harry Greene calls you out, you know you’ve hit a low point.

- Nick and Charlie coming to comfort Imogen, and her questioning if she should have done that so publicly (the answer is Yes, because he very publicly treated you very badly too, so… tit for tat). And her wanted to make sure if maybe something happened between Ben and Charlie, but then saying it doesn’t matter as soon as she sees how uncomfortable it makes him.

- And her saying that it would be easier if she liked girls, which… how many times do women in general say that? Relationships aren’t easy, no matter who you love, but there’s a preoccupying trend if the consensus is that ‘if sexuality was really a choice, the number of women who would choose to be lesbians is very very high’. What does that say about straight cis men, in general?

- Tao finally getting his head out of his own ass long enough to realize that Nick is really trying to bond with him.

- Tao about Elle “she’s everything, I’m just Ken”.

- Nick being adorable telling him that he thinks Tao is also all those things, and telling him that he does like him.

- I thought that Tao’s whole plan was giving Nick and Charlie privacy by dragging Isaac to the vending machin (And Charlie and Nick making the most of that little privacy). But it’s so sad when you realize that it was because Nick said the word “loudly” to describe him, and it made him remember that it was his loudness that outed Charlie last year. Poor baby.

- Seriously, the chemistry this season is off the charts, the intimacy between Nick and Charlie is so beautiful and warm and Kit and Joe are magical. And the way that they’re always checking with each other. “Is this okay?” A very enthusiastic "YEAH”, “we should stop”, “okay.” Love them.

- Isaac falling asleep with the book on his face is so relatable. How many times have I woken up because I fell asleep reading and the book just smacked me in the face? Too many to count.

- Charlie’s little “oh f—” cut to music.

Ceci episode é brought pour vous by CROISSANTS™. (Je n'e parlez pas français).

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

Question: what is the absolute worst? Is it:

a) dating,

b) coming out,

c) parties, or

d) all of the above…

The answer (for me) is d. And this episode has all of the above, and it was like watching a nightmare… (I went on a few dates, all of them painful, but I don’t know if that’s just the nature of dating or if it’s because I’m acespec; also parties to me make absolutely no sense; also I tried coming out multiple times and it’s been the worst anxiety I’ve experienced, each time).

But let’s see how these things go for our lovely group.

EPISODE 3 - PROMISE

- I love that they did the “I know you and Charlie are really good mates” and Otis and Sai giving him the looks, and a kissing montage playing in Nick’s head with the huge letters GOOD MATES across it. Perfection.

- Coach Singh’s whole body language after walking in on Nick and Charlie kissing. And her being protective of Nick after realizing that he’s queer. “You don’t owe them that information”. It’s so reassuring for Nick to have another queer person, a queer adult, know, and for her to tell her that he doesn’t have to live with that pressure, that it’s difficult and it won’t always go well, but it’s not an obligation.

- Nick and Charlie being cozy in the library. Two of my favorite things. More of that please.

- I can’t tell you the giddiness I felt when I saw the Pride display and saw that there was an ACE book top and center. Also I’m so happy that we got so much James, and how fucking giddy he is about hanging out with Isaac. Two little bookworms matching each other’s energies.

- I love how Tao became the worst date by trying to be the best date, following the worst online advice, changing his appearance, and being so tense about everything being perfect, that he forgot about just being himself, which is precisely what Elle likes about him.

- All Charlie and Nick needed to get through their exams and coursework was to think about Paris, and being together in Paris.

- Every time Harry appears, he usually puts an arm around someone, like grabbing them, which, as Tao rightfully pointed out last season, is a hyper-masculine way of saying “I didn’t get hugged much as a child”. So imposing and annoying. Go to therapy, Harry. Stop invading people’s spaces, Harry. (I know the other boys do it too, like Otis did to Charlie in the first episode, and to Nick in this one, but the attitude behind it is completely different. But still, boys, stop just grabbing people like that, it’s so annoying.)

- “But I love you because of how annoying you are” is one of the sweetest things you will ever hear, and I felt so bad for Tara because of how Darcy reacted, literally running away from her feelings. Poor Darcy too. I think I can relate to the automatic reaction of running away from my feelings, running away from anything that was me having to be vulnerable. It gets better, and I love that in the end it’s just practice. The more you talk about your feelings, the better you become at it.

- New favorite ship unlocked: the teachers! “Are you also regretting signing up for this?” Don’t worry, you won’t regret it at all by the end of it…

- James being all giddy asking Isaac to the party, I’m sorry but he’s adorable, and therefore I’m kinda sad about how things turn out, but I hope we get more James in the future.

- The comedic performance of Mr. Ajayi failing to get everyone’s attention in a gentle manner and Mr. Farouk having to go “QUIET!” Which in itself is so funny. (Fun fact: a teacher in Northern Ireland actually won the Guinness Book of World Records for the loudest shout, and it was her shouting “quiet” at 121 decibels, about the same as a jet engine. Mr Farouk might not be as loud, but the way he does it definitely works.)

- Darcy’s “oh dear, oh nooo” and Charlie and Nick exchanging excited looks when they’re told that boys and girls can’t share rooms is so cute. “I know, heartbreaking, isn’t it?” Mr Farouk says with a raised eyebrow.

- Poor Imogen… she needs more girlfriends.

- Tao’s new aesthetic, as much as they made him try to look out of character, just… works… love the whole outfit, the whole vibe. He looks like he’d be in a Wes Anderson film, so it’s very appropriate that they’re going to one.

- And Darcy going “oh duuuuh”, just the worst‼ And Charlie shouting “your hair’s amazing!”

- I love the stark contrast between Tara’s outfit and Tori’s outfit, and I love them both.

- “Look after him or you die”. Aw Tori, being a good older sister. I want more Nick and Tori interactions.

- The comically large popcorns. “I hope you didn’t cut it for me”. Tao’s little laugh but then his look of terrible realization. Then his terrible attempts at being flirty. And then his whole rant about “they’re kids, so it’s obviously not going to last long term”, big foreshadowing.

- Sahar’s makeup and jacket, so cute. Metallic blue eyeshadow. The makeup game in this season is top notch.

- What is up with those boys pulling Charlie away? Seriously, what is this masculine impulse of throwing your arm around someone's shoulder, even when you don't know them???

- And what is up with Sai’s reaction to Nick saying “I need to talk to you guys”? This is a lot like the party in the first season, when Nick realizes that he’s not really the partying type, and he just wants to hang out with Charlie and talk. Here he just wants to talk to his friends and tell them something, but it is like the worst moment to do it, and he’s already feeling ill about the idea of doing it, and he’s really not the big loud party type of guy.

- Tao being so pent up about this one date going wrong. They’re both kids, like the protagonists in Moonrise Kingdom, and they really thought that it would work out from the beginning, and they’re upset that it didn’t, and that it must mean that it will never work.

- “I’m fundamentally unlikeable”. “I liked the old Tao”.

- Tori is so mean in that instant, but we get that it hinges on her fear of Charlie being hurt again, being bullied again.

- After a second viewing, the only overblown comment going around Nick’s head is Tori going “you’re bisexual, so you’re going to cheat on my brother?” (I know that the media tends to have a terrible habit of portraying bisexual characters as promiscuous, which is why Nick is such a lovely change, so I would get why this is insinuated here. But… not from Tori, and so far in the show, at least from my perspective, there hasn’t been anyone insinuating that Nick’s bisexuality makes him unreliable or promiscuous, but especially not Tori. Unless this has to do with a deleted scene... In any case, I expected him to think of her as accusing him of letting Charlie get hurt or something). But all the other things he hears in his head are spot on.

- Charlie coming in hot and shoving Harry away, because he probably still feels bad about not helping Nick when he was confronted with his brother.

- That one-on-one scene between Joe and Olivia is peak perfect Charlie-Sara interaction. More please.

- Also, is it me, or does Sara wear a lot of yellow? She's sunshine personified. (it's curious that, one of the few times we don't see Sara in yellow, is in season 1 when she's wearing blue when Nick is telling her about the date with Imogen, and she says "don't worry, the right girl will come along", and it might just confirm my theory that light blue represents heteronormativity, but coming from a person who turns out to be supportive).

- Nick and Charlie being all cozy, and Nick tiredly saying that he enjoyed Charlie telling Harry to piss off. And Charlie’s whole talk about that weird obligation we feel to come out to friends and family the moment you realize you’re not straight. I think it’s so lovely that the comic and the show emphasize this so much, because so often in media it’s become a whole thing about how you’re supposed to come out, and for it to be this big announcement, as if otherwise you're lying to everyone if you don't, and as if everything is going to be alright from now on as soon as you come out, and as if not coming out means that you’re afraid and a coward. And I love how much this season works through that, with Coach Singh and Charlie and Sara telling Nick that he doesn’t owe it to anyone. This whole season was perfect because of that.

This episode is brought to you by Date Dread™, Coming Out Anxiety™ and Party Fear™ (not just a Raleigh Ritchie song with which I identify way too much...)

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper Season 2 play-by-play analysis

I’ve already written all these thoughts during the last rewatch, but since I’m rewatching again to figure out which gifs I want to look for, I always end up rereading or rewriting something, adding more thoughts, etc. There’s always something to add, something new that I noticed. The next few rewatches will be all about the music, probably.

EPISODE 2 - FAMILY

- “LION FISH VERY TOXIC THEY HAVE STINGERS THAT ARE DEADLY TO THE TOUCH” “THERE ARE MANY TYPES OF FISH. HERE ARE A VARIETY OF FISH” “THAT LIVE IN THE SEA. I LOOKED UP PICTURES OF FISH ONLINE FOR THIS PAGE” “UNICORN FISH TYPES OF DEEPSEA FISH” I died reading Tao’s drawing notes.

- Why does Mr Farouk always look like he’s about to either give the scolding of a lifetime or give terrible news???? Even when he’s saying nice things. I love him, though.

- Isaac looking down at his book as he gets told to participate more.

- IS THAT DAVID THACKERAY telling Ben’s parents that Ben is wonderful? Poor thing.

- If we get Spanish-speaking Charlie at some point, I will cry.

- “I know getting your first boyfriend is very exciting, but…” Charlie’s parents will never know about Ben. The only ones who know are Nick and (somewhat) Tori, and that’s how it will stay. Was it Charlie’s first boyfriend? Technically, maybe, but in all the ways that matter, Nick is the true first, Nick has changed the game for Charlie forever. He shouted it at the sea and everything.

- Here we have the first time that Jane takes a very extreme approach, but of course she doesn’t know that Charlie has bigger problems than being distracted by his new boyfriend. Jane’s approach is complete ban, complete cut off, no in between.

- Olivia Colman, in yellow, like the ray of sunshine she is. But how Sara managed to raise someone as shit as David, when she’s so wonderful and Nick turned out so wonderful, is beyond me.

- The actor who plays David is so good, you just want to punch him.

- “the universe is pulling us apart” “we are tragic starcrossed lovers” “we should run away to paris together” “bring nellie though” “of course”… two dumbasses in love.

- Ugh, Ben seeing Nick approaching so he pulls Imogen closer and kisses her because he knows it’ll piss Nick off… And Imogen being so oblivious that she thinks nothing of Nick’s frown and not waving back. She does look a bit sad that he doesn’t. And Ben looking so smug.

- New favorite character unlocked: Sahar. We love her. I didn’t really get much personality from her in the comics, but here it’s much more fleshed out.

- “Still as desperate as ever”, excuse me? Who’s the true desperate one here? Ben gets this wistful, googly-eyed look every time Charlie appears and looks equally as murderous at Nick every time he sees them together. None ya business, Ben.

- Nick seriously telling Ben not to talk about Charlie, because that’s as much as he can do, or ignore him, but Ben won’t let it go, like he’s not even a little bit afraid of the boy that could snap him like a twig.

- “It’s not my fault he liked me before you”. EXCUSE ME, for one thing, what does that have to do with anything??? And for another thing, you really think that Charlie liked you? I don’t think Ben realizes how much Charlie’s crush on Ben was just that, a crush, but actually liking him would have probably made it harder for Charlie to break things off, and it wasn’t… I think Charlie authentically had a crush on Ben, because he’s handsome and because he took an interest in him, and because there was no one else. But liking him? Nah, that was just wishful thinking.

- “I hate you because you literally assaulted him”. YES NICK, TELL HIM.

- “I was going through personal stuff”. Everyone is always going through personal stuff, you dick. But you chose to “take it out” on Charlie.

- “You hurt him and who knows if you’ll do the same with Imogen.” Sweet Nick. “Do you even like her?”

- “Sorry, am I not allowed to like girls as well as boys?” This might be the first time that he’s been this honest with someone over whom he doesn’t have any control whatsoever. Also Nick’s face when he realizes that him and Ben are both bi, or at least that’s what Ben is telling him. And it reinforces the fear that Nick’s had since last season, that he’s just like Ben.

- “I’ll believe that when I see it.” Ben also thinks that being queer means having to tell the world, otherwise it’s not real.

- Ben saying that Charlie thinks that Nick is perfect, like… sir, you do not speak for Charlie, and you do not know Nick, and you are just trying to make yourself not look as bad, and convince yourself that you could just be as good a boyfriend to Charlie as Nick is, and why don’t you just go to therapy, SIR??? But Nick for a moment looks like he believes him, because it’s been hard for him to come out, he’s only managed to come out himself to two people, his mum and Imogen, and he knows it’s hard, and maybe Ben is right, maybe he’s just like him, maybe he’ll hurt Charlie too by keeping their relationship a secret… Him stroking the pen that Charlie gave him.

- “I’ve had the worst day haha” aw baby, the haha just makes it worse.

- I just realized how much I relate to Nick’s relationship with his brother. Not that my sister was ever as bad as a David, but I wish she had been more of a Tori… Being the youngest and having to deal with an invasive older sibling who just waltzes into your room and looks at your stuff and thinks they know you better than you know yourself… yeah… In retrospect it’s funny how siblings can be so unbearable to each other, and often it gets better when you don’t have to live together anymore, but it’s amazing how we can tick each other off, like no one else can… they did such a good job at capturing that dynamic…

-“If you do have a girlfriend, I want to know about it, she needs my approval”, sir fuck all the way off back to uni, please.

- “We could meet at the park”, and then they meet there and it’s so obvious that their homes used to be their safe places, but now, now they know that it’s each other, they’re each other’s safe place. Recharging!

- Listen, that hug, that spin hug, with the music playing, the joy on their faces as they realize that home is wherever the other one is, it’s just soooooo… it rewired my brain, it was like a deep breath, it’s the epitome of all NickxCharlie hugs. It’s one of my favorite scenes, if not the most favorite.

- I love how we got to see the beginning of Charlie’s serial hoodie thievery. This whole scene is so soft. And Nellie just makes everything ten times better.

- Nick leaning in for a kiss in an open space, and Charlie looking around nervously, because last season Nick was flinching with nerves at the idea of anyone, even strangers, seeing them kiss, and Nick knows this and he has moved past that and he pulls Charlie on top of him and just kisses him like crazy… seriously the amount of kissing this season is magical… And Charlie feeling euphoric as he walks home and sees Nick’s instagram post about him…

- Elle’s new friends are as stylish as her… Naomi’s eyeliner is perfect…

- I love that we get a little more insight into Elle’s experience, and why she wants to pursue art, and why Lambert would be a safe haven for her…

- Tao’s mum being the biggest fan of Elle and being the biggest TaoElle shipper… I’m glad we got a bit more of her, and other parents. Elle’s parents were excellent too (more on them later).

- Nick gathering up the courage to confront Imogen about Ben, because he wants to protect her, but not being able to tell her why, and Imogen getting defensive because she’s just afraid of being alone. And the whole thing affecting Nick and causing him such anxiety that he can’t really focus.

- The big hug and lift, priceless move. (I've lost count of all the times that Nick gives into his urge of picking Charlie up in any way he can).

- “That boy of yours is here”. Elle’s mum being a bit of a TaoElle shipper too. Elle trying to put distance between them.

- Charlie not being a fan of Marvel movies, whilst Joe Locke is starring soon in a Marvel streaming show… poetic. Methinks that, when the time comes for Nick to watch Agatha Coven of Darkness, he’ll have a massive crush on that actor who plays (presumably) Billy.

- “I’ll have something when I get home”, and then when he gets home “I ate at Nick’s.”

- Fucking David, snooping around, disrespecting Nick’s privacy. And Nick’s little “you okay?” at Charlie. David is such a perfect asshole, and I love Nick calling him a homophobic prick, but not being intimidated or anything. “You left a picture of you two kissing on your bedroom wall” “WHY DO YOU KEEP GOING IN MY ROOM?” Yes, David, why?

-Some people pointed out that Nick seems to unfairly take it out on his mum, when it was David, a grown man, sneaking in as he pleases, but I didn't see it that way. Nick's yelling at David, but looking at him mum, or looking to her for support, like going "do you see what he's done??? do you see what a dick your other son is???? please tell him to stop!!"

- Nick telling Charlie that it’s not his fault, and telling him that he’s fine and he doesn’t care, but Charlie had really thought he’d be able to protect Nick from the things that happened to him when he came out.

- Tao’s talk with his mum, it was so sweet.

- Charlie and Isaac being so serious, but also not arguing when Tao said “I know you’ve been laughing behind my back because I’m so oblivious”. And him asking for their help.

This episode was brought to you by HOODIES™.

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

This would be the moment in the typical movie where the character comes out and gets the happy ending and love ever after, and everything is alright, right?

But coming out is a choice for some people, and not so much for others, and it's not always perfect, and love does not always conquer all, and sometimes love is not even part of your story...

And sometimes there are many more issues, and not so simple solutions, and things aren't always black and white...

I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?

EPISODE 6 - TRUTH/DARE

- Nick knew how to get to the café without consulting Google maps or anything, which means this is a place he’s been to before.

- Nick and Charlie letting go of each other’s hands as they walk into the cafe. And “would you feel better if I waited here?” Nick’s rotund and absolute “NO,” then, a little as if to make sure that Charlie knows it’s about himself being nervous and not about Charlie being imposing, he adds “No, please come with me.”

- “He used to visit every summer”, and it makes you wonder why he stopped. Then Stephane really has no idea how old his son is and how much time he still has before he graduates, because he’s not involved in Nick’s life. Any child of divorced parents knows that nod either means Martine is not interested in meeting Nick (and probably David), or Stephane is unsure of how to bring it up. Or both. “Perhaps someday soon,” means “I will put it off forever because I don’t want to deal with that.” Martine definitely had to do something with Nick not visiting anymore, and even David probably hasn’t stayed with him either. Yet David brings it up when we first see him. “Next time I’ll stay with dad”. Sure. (Even the fact that he mentions how their dad will react when he finds out Nick is bi, indicates that he still very much cares about his father’s opinions and thoughts, even when Stephane doesn’t seem to care much about his sons’ lives.)

- “I’m sorry, something came up and I can’t get out of it.” Did you even try, sir? Dad bails out, this was probably always inteded to happen, to have a very short meeting, just enough to not leave Nick hanging completely. But because he leaves money behind to pay the bill, he thinks everything’s okay.

- Nick’s face when he realizes that coming out to his dad won’t happen, at least for now. Not only did he not stay long enough to even bring it up, but he assumes he’s straight and talks a lot about him having lots of girlfriends, and Nick is probably thinking that it’s just going to be like David, or worse. (Considering that even Sara said some things, assuming that Nick was into girls exclusively, it’s not like he was sure that she would react so great about him coming out, but it’s clearly very different with his dad, who is never there but for whom he still had a lot of admiration and excitement about being able to meet up. He wants his dad to know him, to know about him, to be proud of him. Maybe there’s even a little of “look, dad, you’re not in my life, but look how well I’m doing anyway”. I don’t know, I’m not a boy, and my parents didn’t divorce when I was still a teenager.)

- New favorite friendship dynamic unlocked: Charlie, Isaac and Nick squished up in one bad trying to find Wally.

- Other new favorite friendship dynamic: the boys asking Tao for every single detail of his kiss with Elle. “But I kissed her that time.” “OH MY GOD NO YOU DIDN’T” “What does this mean???”

- Meanwhile in the girls’ room, the dynamic is much the same, but I love that we get to see it for both groups.

- Tara is so sweet, always making sure that Isaac doesn’t feel excluded.

- “So are we-?” Elle making Tao short-circuit with a kiss.

- Charlie deflecting Nick’s question by asking him about how he’s feeling. And Nick refusing to let him get away with it. “I know I’ve been stressed about coming out, but I don’t think I realized how stressed out you’ve been about it.” “I get stressed about everything, you’re nothing special.” “Charlie- It matters to me.” Classic Charlie humor deflection technique. Poor Charlie, he’s never in a million years imagined that he’d fall for someone who cared so much about him, and he doesn’t even know what to do with himself.

- Ugh, this whole interaction between the teachers is soooooooo perfectly off of the comic book page. Mr Ajayi fishing for info on Mr Farouk. Awww Mr Farouk… “Don’t think there’s an age limit on those”.

- "You flirting with me?" "Maybe." MISTER AJAYI‼ AAAAAAHHHH‼

- “They are gonna be a handful today.” Power of prophecy.

- “Thanks, I hate it.” “I knew you would.” Tara, if you don’t want it, I can take it off your hands. (Seriously, where can I get that t-shirt?). I think the pressure of giving an amazing gift is so overrated, why not get your significant other the worst gift ever? That’s amazing.

- Darcy taking the first step at talking about her feelings, thank god, because things between them have been horribly tense and all over the place… “I’ve got plans, big plans.” Oh shit…

-SO MUCH GREEN. Darcy and Tara matching tops, Elle’s whole outfit, Sahar’s vest, Isaac’s vest, Imogen’s striped sweater. And Charlie’s sweater is a big blue-greeny, I feel (and then later he wears the green hoodie). But I think it’s interesting that Nick is wearing blue now, both during the day and then at the party, on the episode where he comes out to more people. Everyone perceives him as heterosexual, so he has to fight that heteronormativity applied to him. He wears the color and defies what it represents.

- I am Isaac at the bookshop, wandering around with a huge pile of books, knowing that I won’t be able to buy all of them, but by all the gods I will try…

- By the way, here's Isaac’s reading list from this season.

- Have kids these days stopped saying “take a picture of me” but instead say “take a selfie of me”? As if the word selfie has replaced the word picture?

- It’s sad how Nick and Charlie take a selfie in front of Notre Dame(?), and they seem tempted to kiss, but then walk away, whereas behind them, Tao and Elle don’t have to think about it at all. Until they walk into the area full of pride flags, and Nick and Charlie can feel more comfortable walking with joined hands. But that’s it.

- The pile of books on Isaac’s end of the bed… I want them all.

- The recharging scene is so lovely. They are so soft with each other. Charlie getting all worked up from that kiss and Nick just says “We gotta go”. I hate you too, Nick, how dare you.

- “Everything has to be perfect for Tara, she’s a princess.” Darcy is feeling so guilty, but she’s terrible at making up.

- Tara’s face when Darcy brings out the booze… oh no…

- The fact that Ben just sneaks into the party, unnoticed, and he just meekly goes around, trying to pass under the radar.

- Seriously, is there any queer boy that is not into Charlie (except Isaac of course)? First Ben, then Nick, and now even James. If only Charlie himself knew, the power he has…

- Even though we already know where this is going with Isaac, James’s little face still breaks my heart. He was so smitten with Isaac… and that was his first kiss… and he probably thought they were two booknerds in love… and… *weeps*

- Wait, so if James hadn’t kissed Isaac just before, that means that his literal first kiss could have almost been his former crush during truth or dare in front of everyone???? Nightmare scenario…

- Isaac, baby… I have now cried every single time I’ve watched this scene, I wonder if it will happen every single time. My little ace heart can’t take it.

- Nick really doesn’t like parties, or he hasn’t liked parties since he met Charlie, because he prefers hanging out with Charlie. Why pretend to have fun when you could be happily making googly eyes at your soulmate in a quiet corner? (Again, with Golden Retriever twin Darcy interrupting).

- The contrast between the party room, full of color and shiny decorations, whilst Harry and his mate stand outside in the harsh blue light of the corridor (again, blue representing heteronormativity).

- Harry apologizes to Charlie and Nick but he sounds so insincere, he’s smiling the entire time like he’s not really taking this seriously, and it’s all made worse by his friend behind him smiling smugly. They really thought it would work… Charlie is not intimidated by Harry anymore, not even a little bit, and we love him for that. Slam that door in his face, Charlie, that’s my son.

- At this point, why hasn’t anyone kicked out Ben yet? You’d think everyone would be behind Imogen on this. Unless she really doesn’t care, of course, she’s over him. And he just looks kind of relieved that he has managed to not get kicked out, but also… is that a bit of bitterness that I sense, at the fact that Charlie continues to stand up for himself and ignore him completely.

- As the game of truth-or-dare begins, it feels like maybe Ben wants to fit in, wants to be a part of this group, but he’s not entirely comfortable, but he’s still there, following the dynamic, maybe hoping that he’ll just be… accepted? And not have to put any work into it? (Am I reading too much into this?)

- “Imogen got a boyfriend last year and she stopped texting me.” “Uh, no, you stopped texting me.” The way that Imogen sort of nervously pushes her hair behind her ear… is kind of… flirty…?

- One of my favorite moments that’s not in the comics, the Charlie-Tao kiss had me in stitches. It’s the cheeky way that Tao crawls over, and Charlie’s embarrassed delight and Nick and Elle’s delighted faces. I love them so much. (Can't believe no one had giffed that yet, or at least I couldn't find it, so I had to do it myself! Guys, I'm really bad at this stuff, help!)

- Who is this person stirring the pot??? Poor James, poor Charlie. But I love Charlie going resolutely “No, no way” when he’s dared to kiss Ben. And Ben resorts to his usual tactics of pretending not to know Charlie (Imogen’s face, knowing that something definitely happened between Charlie and Ben… that Ben is hiding something, and that Charlie very vehemently wants nothing to do with him).

- And you know Ben wanted to bump into Nick so bad on his way out. “Always making a scene…”

- “I know who it was.” He takes the leap, and he checks with Charlie and he knows that, whatever happens, it will be okay. Elle’s smiling, Tara is smiling, but Tao still looks a bit tense.

- I loved everyone’s reaction to Nick coming out, very chill and “oooh so you gave him the hickey?” And Nick looks so relieved, they both do. And James, precious James, asking if they want it to be kept secret… And then Darcy, of course…

- That whole hallway scene all the way to the room, it’s so sweet. Notice how they go from blue-ish lighting to yellow lighting, the color of happiness, their color. Nick envelops Charlie in the warmest hug and they just, ugh, so fucking cute… then the whole carrying him over his shoulder, I want to know how many times they had to do that scene, it’s so perfect. (Had to gif this one too, am I searching wrong???)

- The bed fight, the pillow fight, and then the conversation about not being ready to do anything more than kissing yet. Nick was so nervous, the way he wasn’t nervous when he was the one kissing Charlie’s neck. This time it was his boyfriend being sexy, it was his boyfriend taking the lead and getting him all worked up… he had to stop it, because he realized that he was starting to feel things that he wasn’t ready for at the moment.

- “Why are we like this?”… Like what? Like perfect? Like the cutiest patootiest of all?

- Tao wearing Elle’s glasses and teasing her, whilst Imogen and Sahar are cuddled up in the next bed… And Isaac… baby…

- “I have to be perfect for you.” “Darcy, nobody’s perfect.” Darcy saying I love you with vomit in her mouth and smeared makeup and a crumpled party hat on her head, whilst Tara looks immaculate in her tiara and gold weaved into her braids and her white sweater…

- Mr Farouk giving Darcy a break, like he’s maybe not so strict anymore (because of someone’s influence)…

- I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES NOW I’VE WATCHED THE TEACHERS GOING FOR IT BUT I’M SQUEALING AGAIN. AAAAAAAHHHH‼ CAN’T WAIT FOR MORE TEACHERS NEXT SEASON‼

- That whole Charlie and Nick talking and sleeping montage fixed my mental health, cleared my skin, watered my crops and fed my cows. I have watched it in an loop. It’s beautiful.

- They are finally sitting together in the coach! And so are Elle and Tao. Meanwhile Tara and Darcy...

- The post about Mr Farouk. Merciless.

- Meanwhile both Mr Farouk and Mr Ajayi looking a bit tense and unsure after...

- “Is it true you guys are dating???” They haven't even gotten back from Paris... News spread fast...

This episode is brought to you by Whatever the Hell Darcy was Drinking™.