#heals the soul I swear (I can vouch)

[starneko123]

Ensnaring Sorceress

Something for @ninibear3000 OC's Asma and her amazing simp Sanayah!

Oh

Put your loving hand out, baby

I'm beggin'

"Korë? I swear I have heard that name somewhere." Asma announced as she leaned on her bo staff and Sanayah took her place beside Asma crossing her arms and looking at their preceptors. "Nova Korë Nagako is popular in Outworld because of her status amongst other things. Along with the rest of her family." Fujin informed looking at Asma and Raiden making eye contact with Sanayah. "She is to arrive in Earthrealm today near a village and she has been doing so for the past few days but only staying for perhaps a few minutes then leaving." Raiden explained, "You will find her and try to get information as to why she has been making frequent visits and have not given reason to those visits." Fujin finished and the two elemental students were on their way.

"Do you think she's a demon?" Asma asked her friend as she twirled her bo in elaborate ways to keep her distracted "Lord Raiden said she was Edenian like Kitana and Jade. But maybe she's half of something either way why would someone of Outworld come to Earthrealm and to a random village no less." Sanayah questioned freely in the air even though she was talking to Asma. The said airbender shrugged and let out a dreamy sigh at the mention of the green bo staff wielder "I don't know. People of Outworld come to Earthrealm for many things just like we go to Outworld for things...you know?" Asma mentioned and she was going to continue until they reached the village or well the village's forest. They were on the village grounds.

Now they were keeping their eyes out. She could be anywhere."You know what's messed up? We don't even know what she looks like all we know is her name." Sanayah mumbled as she let out a groan and summoned her sword which caused the sound of thunder to sound about the village and far off.

Beggin', beggin' you

Put your loving hand out, baby

Beggin', beggin' you

Put your loving hand out, darling

Korë was humming to herself while gently picking the flowers and pulling the stems out. She was taking her sweet time and she didn't even intend to rush or be rushed. She was on her last batch of flowers and herbs till she heard the sound of thunder. She inwardly groaned as the name popped in her head of who it could be and it would only be a matter of time before she felt a strong breeze shake her body and send her and her alone in the air. She kept the same pace as she continued to pluck the flowers and herbs.

"Is that her?" Asma asked herself and Sanayah knelt and saw her...picking flowers? "She doesn't look like a threat," Sanayah said even though Korë had her back turned and they couldn't see her face her posture and aura did not seem threatening whatsoever. "Just because it doesn't look threatening doesn't mean it is threatening Nayah." Asma told her as she reached for her bo staff and she heard Sanayah hum as a response and it was in agreement. The both of them sucked in a breath as Korë stood up and stretched. The two students seemed to be holding their breath until she turned around.

Korë let out a small sigh as she stood and brought her hands to her back. She kept her lower body still and she moved her upper body back and she kept leaning back until her back made a popping sound and she let out an irritated moan. She turned away from the bushes and looked down at her basket. It was full and she was getting tired. She dragged out the ribbon that was holding her hair in a bun. She went to a standstill when she heard shuffling nearby and as many times she has been here she never saw animals.

Riding high, when I was king

Played it hard and fast, 'cause I had everything

Walked away, wonderin' then

But easy come and easy go

And it would end

Sanayah let out an audible gasp as Korë turned around "She is so...pretty." A basic answer but there were a lot of words for her. "Now is not the time not the place Sanay-" Asma was cut off mid-sentence by an energy blast. It blasted her back a few feet but there was no damage to her person as she got back up quicker than Korë expected. "Such a beautiful for stalkers. What brings you here?" Korë said as she adjusted her clothing and her claws. "That's the question we should be asking you, Princess," Asma said as she appeared next to Sanayah "You didn't go unnoticed." She finished as they both readied their weapons without saying anything else. Korë did the same but instead of using her whip, she thought today would be good to use her black beauty spear.

Korë ran forward and struck her spear into the ground and used it to pivot her body upwards into the air. She curled herself into a ball to turn her body and put her leg out aiming at Asma hitting her with a dropkick and sending both of them to the ground. Korë rolled away and got back on her feet but so did Asma as she kicked herself up and turned to face Korë. Asma made her way to the spear wielder to thrust her bo three times near Korë's face but all three missed. Asma did a spinning move and did another thrust to Korë's exposed stomach and it landed. As Korë made a guttural noise Asma didn't hesitate to send another blow with her bo staff to Korë's back sending her down on one knee. Korë grunted as she saw Asma get ready to strike her down with the bo but Korë caught the end of it and twisted to where Asma wouldn't loose grip but Korë now had her own grip on it on the opposite end and jabbed Asma in the chest.

Korë was able to whirl the staff around and bring Asma closer to Korë. Now Asma's back was pressed against Korë's chest as she brought the staff to Asma's neck and pressed her head into it. Korë had no intention of killing bringing unconsciousness was the key. Korë was about to put the last blow to the already worn-out Airbender until she was shocked with thunder. She let out a bone-crushing shriek that echoed throughout the forest. The 'thunder' was coming from Sanayah and Asma was able to detach herself from the sorceress before she was shocked as well. When Sanayah saw that she stopped and Korë turned to look at both of them she dropped to her knees and mist started to emit from her body then everything went black.

So why every time I lead you let me go?

Every time I reach, you get me low

Every time I seek, you let me know

But I planted that seed, just let me grow

I'm on my knees while I'm (beggin')

'Cause I don't want to lose (you)

I got my arms all spread

I hope that my heart gets fed

Matter of fact, girl, I'm beggin' (beggin', beggin')

"Did I kill her?!" Sanayah asked in a panic and rushed over to the Outworld Princess and Asma made a face mixed with annoyance and fatigue as she watched her do so. She let out a small whine "Grab her and I'll grab the basket." Asma said as she rolled her eyes and made her way to the said item.

They made their way back to the White Lotus and Korë was awake and walking not protesting whatsoever. All she asked for was her basket and Asma gave it back with no complaints. "Your visitation to Earthrealm was not forewarned. Why?" Raiden inquired and Korë had a very flat look on her face. Trust me, she would be showing respect and kindness if her insides weren't reduced to slush and her back wasn't aching. "Why would I forewarn about plants Lord Raiden?" Korë asked and the conversation continued "I only came to Earthrealm for the soil. Silas has been making progress with renewing Outworld's soil but it's slow work. I momentarily needed Earth's soil for my plants. My mother's and Outworld can vouch for me Thunder God." Korë said as she made her way into his Sky Temple to heal herself.

She created an energy ball and let it levitate around her body, healing different parts and sections. She then heard a knock...two knocks...and then three. "Yes?" Korë as sweetly as she could muster and the door creaked open to a 30-degree angle and out popped two heads. Asma and Sanayah. Korë was able to have a good look at them, Asma had beautiful dark skin that complimented her glowing eyes and pearl white hair that was braided and put in a bun. She was wearing all white but with orange and yellow cloud-like patterns which Korë silently complimented. Sanayah had brown skin and was noticeably taller with or without her hat, she had long black hair and brown eyes she believes. Either way, they were both beautiful in Korë's eyes.

Beggin', beggin' you

Put your loving hand out, baby

Beggin', beggin' you

Put your loving hand out, darling

I need you (yeah) to understand (yeah, oh)

Tried so hard to be your man (hey)

The kind of man you want in the end (oh, oh)

Only then can I begin to live again

An empty shell, I used to be

Shadow of my life was hangin' over me

A broken man that I don't know

Won't even stand the devil's chance to win my soul

"Yes?" Korë asked again looking at the two next-gen elementals crossing her legs in the process but also keeping up with levitating energy ball. Asma was the one to speak up "We- I have your spear." Asma said as she walked into the room and Korë lazily held her hand out. "So I'm Asma." She introduced herself as she sat next to Korë "I'm Sanayah!" Sanayah followed Asma's lead and sat on the other side of Korë. Korë made no sign to move she just made herself comfortable "I'm...Korë." She paused then giggled as if they didn't already know her name. She looked over to Sanayah "I haven't been in the Sky Temple for awhile...mind showing me around?" She asked as her fuschia eyes bore into Sanayah's dark brown and those painted black lips spread into a grin.

And that's how it went. You think someone who was electrocuted by their opposer would be livid. But no...she asked for a tour. "So you're a part of an elemental group and your specific element is thunder and lightning?" Korë had never heard anything like this before and she was interested. "Yes. The person you saw earlier she controls the wind like Lord Fujin." Sanayah clarified and she looked back at Korë "So what about you?" Korë raised a brow "What about me?" Sanayah gestured to Korë's...lovely person "You! Everything about you." She couldn't ask the question. She knew what she wanted to ask but couldn't do it. What's wrong with her now? "Everything about me?" Korë put her clawed finger to her chin in thought.

"I am divine." Korë answered and Sanayah looked intrigued "Divine? I thought you were royalty." Korë nodded "I'm a lot of things. I'm a butterfly." Sanayah laughed but that loving look never left "A butterfly?" Korë hummed in agreement "Stars." It was Sanayah's turn to raise a brow "You're a star?" Korë shook her head "Stars in your eyes." Korë answered as she pointed a clawed finger at Sanayah's face. "I would personally like to call them hearts. But to each their own." Sanayah's said and then it was silent. The comfortable kind.

What we doing? What we chasing?

Why the bottom? Why the basement?

Why we got good shit, don't embrace it?

Why the feel for the need to replace me?

You're on a runway track from the good

I want to paint in a picture telling where we could be at

Like the heart ain't attached where it should

You done give it away, I had it 'til you took it back

But I keep walking on, keep opening doors

Keep hoping for that the call is yours

Keep hoes on hold

'Cause I don't want to live in a broken home

Girl I'm beggin' (beggin', beggin')

Beggin', beggin' you

Put your loving hand out, baby

Beggin', beggin' you

Put your loving hand out, darling

I'm fighting hard (yeah)

To hold my own (to hold my own)

Just can't make it

All alone (all alone)

"It was very nice meeting the both of you," Korë said as she grabbed her basket. It was nice. Truly nice. It could have a home better but still nice. "I just wish that our first encounter could have gone differently," Sanayah said with a somber look on her face "I'll be coming back soon, I can never truly leave Earthrealm." Korë said sending a wink and smile towards Sanayah and waving at Asma. That seemed to brighten Sanayah up.

"You're in love, huh?"

"Shut up."

[dokuhebi]

Word prompts, [secrets] or [run]? ~~ for Dan @shatteredxlookingxglass

word prompts compilation [ run ] for your muse to run their fingers through mine’s hair [ secrets ]   my  muse  sharing/confiding  a secret // @shatteredxlookingxglass

Cold were the streets of the Hidden Leaf, when civilians hid themselves in their homes and the sun hid itself beneath the horizon. Dull was the moon that hung in the sky and meekly tried to banish the darkness, as stars all but disappear behind clouds. Orange were the assisting lights of buildings and houses, keeping the town from the shadows in the form of lamps, streetlights and still bustling households. Quiet was the home the serpent climbs short stairs toward, and hesitant was the pale hand curled in to a ball awaiting the nerve to knock at the impolite hour of night. They break down every detail, they analyze every aspect from paint colours and textures of walls, to sounds and sights of the village around them. For it was what their mother had once taught them to do when their emotions got the better of them. How to perfect the age old shinobi trick of overriding basic feelings to instead focus on something more beneficial. Being extra perceptive, detailing the cold roads, dull moon, vanishing stars and orange lights, all served to take their mind off what may otherwise haunt them. And so the serpent persists with this ingrained and taught habit, counting those steps all the way up to Dan’s door, chatoyant eyes bounding off every surface available to seek out the next analysis that may drive away incoming thoughts of less desirable and clinical emotions. What they don’t stop to think about, despite how deep the thought may run if they allow it, was why they had chosen to come to his house in the first place. Why in the moment of stifling grief they had fled their hidden den and found themself outside his door. Wondering if they dare knock, wondering if they should back out now before they have to explain being here to him before they have even explained it to themself. The door clicks open, jolting them from their thoughts. Jarring was the noise of the hinges creaking when the door opens its mouth to offer entrance. Blue were the eyes to greet them, a second spent counting those shades of mingling blue and green. Cheerful was the sound of the songbird they only now notice, sitting on a nearby tree, coated in the darkness from overhanging branches, tattling on their arrival to its summoner. So much for being more perceptive, they realize, far more distracted by this trick their mother so vouched for. They take a step back, no longer requiring such close proximity to the door when he had rid them of any need to knock. Only for his figure to step aside to grant them entry, as their slender hand falls back to their side. Still wearing their Jounin attire, still speckled in what looks like poorly brushed off mud, debris, ink and the potential faded splintering of blood. They hadn’t done much else than haphazardly draw a cloak over their figure, and that in itself gets swept by the wind, drawing open the front of the fabric to reveal the stains. They find their way inside, a quiet apology for disturbing him so late, taking the seat he offered to them, declining the offer to remove their cloak. Ghostly is the way they make themself a part of the furniture, half there, half somewhere else, trapped between worlds. Warm was the porcelain cup offered containing herbs and leaves mingled in hot water. Patient is the gaze that watches them, as his form takes residence on his own couch, as his hands eventually take up the task of drawing the residue of dried blood from their silken hair. Counting the patterns in the room, in his eyes, it no longer serves to distract them at all, as they take a sip from the tea he had just told them was still too hot to drink. Allowing the burn to bite at their tongue without so much as wincing, irritable when the pain only serves to shake them from their thoughts a mere moment. “What do you believe happens to the dead?” the question falls from their lips almost scathingly, as if the topic itself had angered them for years, and the quiet lull of displeasure would forever scar their throat, “I’ve never heard a man sound sane when speaking about what happens after this life,” they say, and such a short and fleeting life the human body was offered, “I have heard shinobi say that the dead eventually come back in new vessels, reincarnation. As if it may be even slightly believable that in all the centuries, not one shred of evidence exists of returned loved ones. I have heard shinobi speak of the pure lands, as if they feel they are owed some sense of peace, as if being disillusioned in this life might somehow equate to them being saved in some next one. I have heard of shinobi speak of gods, gods who they swear to be all powerful, yet for all the suffering our people are wrought by, must either be cruel, or incompetent.” They haven’t noticed his hands running gentle strokes through their hair, combing out the mess that had tangled itself in silken locks. At least, their mind has not noticed. Too accepting of his presence beside their own, too unquestioning. Their body however, starved of touch and the conditioned to cope only with the isolated habits they bring upon themself, notices instantly. Takes advantage perhaps, as their svelte form leans against him. Their smaller frame tucked neatly in to the curve of his body, fitting there rather perfectly, as they unconsciously seek the contact of reassurance he offers. As he rids them of not only the messy little leaves and speckled blood, but of the tension that had gripped their shoulders when such soothing combing proves a rare show of trust in their presence. “If reincarnation is real, it means we live one pointless life after the other. Never remembering the lessons we learnt to begin with, never remembering the people who supposedly return to us. If the gods are real, we ought to want nothing to do with the creatures that can do so much, but do so very little, that we might question their existence,” they say, before golden eyes move across to finally spot and acknowledge the hands running through their hair, where their own slender fingers move to coil around his one wrist, drawing his hand toward themself and turning it over, so they can expose the vein running along his wrist and up his arm. Hidden beneath pale skin, skin that had suffered countless lacerations, yet persistently heals, “why should we bother think about what being dead might be like anyhow? Why are we so accepting of the idea that dying is the only option?” He must think them mad now, for all their ramblings without context. For showing up looking as if they had returned from some assignment when he had indeed seen them in the village that very morning. Looking elegantly refined and neat, reserved and evidently lost in their own thoughts. If only they had the excuse of alcohol being in their system, when their next idea surfaces without a moment of consideration. If only they could blame carelessness on some overindulged and mind altering poison controlling their inhibitions. It is only the disturbed state they are in after staggering and startling failure that had propelled this idea however. As they run their finger over the vein they know needed the smallest cut to cause him to lose too much blood to recover from. Fragile was the body gifted to the ones they loved. They allow their light grip around his wrist to instead tug him to his feet when they stand. Where they bring the man to his own dining table, before releasing his wrist so their hand can dip in to their cloaks hidden pocket, and retrieve a single scroll. Grey had been the engraved stones of countless memorials and tombs, housing lines of bodies in Konoha’s cemetery. Deep had been the holes dug to retrieve the remains bundled in cloth at the heart of their parents graves, barely distinguishable as human with how little was gathered from the blown up war grounds years ago. Quick had been their departure from robbing those graves, after sampling dna and covering their tracks by putting back the earth they had disturbed. Erratic had been the behaviour of two captured criminals, men who were meant to be escorted to prison by the serpent during their last assignment, but who had been abducted instead and caged away, only for the viper to lie and feign having killed them during the mission due to dangerously uncooperative behaviour. Terrified were the sacrifices fighting back, two men unable to escape the smaller serpentine shinobi, who’s skill in the art of killing and destroying exceeded their entire generation. Pained had been the screams when both men became a part of a greater experiment, when their bodies began to give way to the new souls the serpent decided to replace them with. Empty had been the agonized eyes of the men as they helplessly waited for the serpent to complete Edo Tensei, as the serpent desperately waited to see their parents faces start to overtake the sacrifices. A life for a life. Unfamiliar had been the faces to finally greet the necromancer, when they realize in a jarring moment that buried within their parents graves were two strangers. Agonized had been those strangers faces when they were torn back to the living world unsuccessfully. Unable to die, but far from alive. Tormented had been the resurrected shinobi, crying for their ends as they crumbled in to paper in ruination, only to remain alive despite the cracking, decaying and crippling forms. Fumbled had been the serpents attempt to dispel the ritual and dismiss the souls back to the unknown. Ten minutes had been the time needed to finally empty the room of the living dead, that felt more like hours in their overwhelmed shock. Layers of failure had made that experiment a shaking experience. Failing to find their parents remains, realizing they now had no dna to even attempt this ritual in future. That they had been visiting the graves of strangers for years when error was made on the battlefield, and the wrong blown up and mutilated bodies had been placed in the holes dug for their mother and father. Failing to even complete Tobirama’s abandoned project, when the sacrifices suffered a gruesome fate and the resurrected suffered just the same agony, only to be banished after finally collapsing lifelessly. It might have put them off Edo Tensei, if the devilishly ambitious streak in them did not hiss it had not given them the right to give up. Now, the scroll of Tobirama’s work, revised by the serpent in Dan’s home, is presented. Placed in the middle of the dining table, as golden eyes look to the pale haired shinobi beside them. Forbidden techniques were something they knew Dan found fascinating, but whether he would be on the same page as them regarding one so cruel, one so actively defying all that was thought moral, natural and doable... well, they are yet to see. But they trust him enough to know that either way, their secret, their obsession with the dead coming back to them, would be kept safe. And so it is rolled open, for his eyes to see the detailed ritual, the inked sigils and the hand written demands. “Why seek out pure lands, when we can make this our home eternally... and why pray to gods, when we can become them.”

[strwbrryeos]

The Magic Shop (M)

SUMMARY; Your mother always told you magic came at a price. You should’ve listened. Well, at least you got revenge on that stupid shapeshifter Yoongi.

Genre : smut, angst, magic!au

Pairing : witch!Reader x shapeshifter!Yoongi

Contains : rough sex, grinding, nipple play, unprotected sex, you’re soulmates Jungkook said so, oral, hand job, creampie, enemies to lovers, major character death, lotta angst, sorry not sorry, dirty talk, praise kink, minor dom!Yoongi, finger sucking

Links removed! Please visit my blog for the master list!

Yoongi can feel the wind rushing under him; it’s almost as amazing as how free he feels. He loves this. Loves as the air bends around him, doing his bidding and keeping him afloat.

His favorite thing, however, has to be the fact that for a time, he can forget about you.

Well, that is until he lands to find you scowling at him with a very grumpy face. Terrible.

“Min Yoongi!” you screech, causing passersby to nearly jump out of their skin.

Yoongi huffs, shedding his owl form for that of a handsome, young man. So much for the freedom. “What?” he groans. “I’m here, aren’t I?” He shoves his way past you and into the store, ignoring the way your eyes burn holes into his back. Or at least, he tries to ignore it. But then he’s acutely aware of how his back hurts and oh my god is that smoke?

“Y/N!” he screams in panic, “stop it! Stop it!”  

“What? You seem―”

“Y/N!” shouts a new voice, distant and annoyed. “Stop setting your coworker on fire!”

With a dissatisfied sigh and a snap of your fingers, the flame on Yoongi’s back disappears, though the new scorch marks on his shirt aren’t much better. “Really?” he asks, and he has half a mind to turn into a wolf right now and snap your neck. Maybe next time.

“Next time don’t be late,” you say with a simple shrug.

“Are you just mad because I bit you last time?”

“You could’ve given me rabies!”

“For the last time, Y/N, I don’t have rabies!”

“That’s exactly what a person with rabies would say.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“And I hate you.”

“Ditto.”

You and Yoongi work as you always do: in perfect tandem but complete silence. Part of the reason that the wizard you work for hasn’t fired either of you yet is because, despite how absolutely morbidly you get along, you work fine as long as you don’t talk. The wizard likes it that way anyway.

He hired the both of you about two years ago; you, for your wonderful knack for magic and Yoongi for his healing abilities as a shapeshifter. The perfect duo to run an all-needs magic shop.

It’s too bad you hate each other, though.

The wizard, Seokjin, comes down from his lot, shaking his head at the two of you as he watches you work. “Still nothing, huh?” he asks with a laugh. “You’d think you’d get along better after so much time together.”

“Maybe we would if she weren’t such a―”

“I will literally give you fleas,” you cut him off, causing Seokjin to roll his eyes in exasperation.

“You know, part of what makes a good magician is being able to work with other people,” he says as he begins shuffling through the day’s schedule. “It’s important, especially if you’re gonna be a healer.”

“I have good people skills,” Yoongi huffs. “It’s this one who doesn’t.”

“It’s only when I’m around you,” you reply without so much as looking up from your pot. You turn to Seokjin, changing the subject. “I brewed the first potion of the day already,” you say, gesturing to your work. “The customer will be here to pick it up in about twenty minutes. I can get working on the next one if you want.”

Seokjin nods in approval. “Good work. Looks perfect. But I think I’ll do the next. You get started on the three o’clock appointment.”

“Sure thing.”

“And Yoongi,” he says, turning his attention to the man as he fiddles with his burnt shirt, “I’m pretty sure there’s a unicorn coming in later. Take care of that, would you?”

“You got it, Boss.”

Seokjin throws him a thumbs up, fixing his shirt in the process, before giving a few final instructions and vanishing into the air. You return to your work in silence, humming what is, to Yoongi’s ears, incoherent gibberish. It makes his ears ring, though magic spells always seem to have that kind of effect on his much-too-sensitive senses. Your hands wave in a defined yet random way over the cauldron until it turns the perfect shade of glass blue. Despite the annoyed rumbling deep in his chest that comes from being near you, Yoongi can’t help deny that you always look your best when you’re working. Maybe it’s because you’re not talking either.

Where you deal with the potions and the spells and magic items (seriously, why do talking cloaks even exist?), Yoongi specializes in magical nature, whether it be plants or animals or that really weird growth on a person’s skin that they swear is whispering stupid pick-up lines to them when they’re trying to fall asleep. He pokes around the greenhouse, checking in on his new batch of nightshade and making sure to give the silver orchids extra water. He whistles while he works, and a few of the live-in fairies come to pay him a visit from their gardens.

“How are you, Yoongi?” asks one delicately, fluttering in front of his face.

He smiles at the creature, her wings sparkling in the sunlight but so paper-thin that they’re nearly invisible, and says, “Better now that you’re here,” and the little fairy zips away in shyness. Another fairy appears, opting to sit on Yoongi’s shoulder as the shapeshifter makes his way towards the back of the greenhouse.

“How’s your coworker?” he asks.

Yoongi grunts in response, the thing in his chest growling in annoyance. “Always the worst.”

“Eh, I like her.”

“Still don’t understand why.”

“She’s cool! You should get to know her. I think you guys would make good friends.”

The other fair reappears, taking her place on Yoongi’s opposite shoulder. “Doubt it! Yoongi is nice! Y/N is not!”

“Oh, you’re just biased ‘cause he paid you a nice compliment!”

“I can pay you a compliment too, if you’d like, Novus,” Yoongi says with a soft laugh, and the small creature is blushing, angry at having been so easily charmed.

“Whatever,” the fairy scoffs. “Y/N is a good witch. You’re just angry.”

“And you’re not?” cries his female counterpart. “I don’t understand why you defend her. She doesn’t even come in here.”

“That’s cause this big ol’ shifter here won’t let her. How do you think she gets her spell ingredients?”

Yoongi jumps a little in realization. “So you’re the one that’s been taking from my supplies!”

“It’s not taking if it’s from my own home!”

“I guess,” chuckles Yoongi, really not caring but glad to have solved that mystery. “We’re not gonna be friends, though, Novus.”

“I think you two have more in common than you think?”

“Like what?”

“Well―”

“They don’t have anything!”

“Stay out of this, West!” The grouchy fairy continues. “You’re both here to help people, for starters.”

“So we have one career interest. Doesn’t make her more appealing.”

“I know you both like music.”

“Everybody likes music!”

“And you’re magical.”

“Everybody is magical, Novus!” laughs an exasperated Yoongi. “Look, let me just go water the shrooms and then I’ll leave you two alone, okay?”

“No, no, please take West with you. She never shuts up about you.”

“Novus!” West exclaimes, embarrassed and scandalized. “Be quiet.”

Yoongi only shakes his head, ignoring the bickering fairies that stay perched on his shoulders. A few gnomes come to greet him, but they’re quick to leave, annoyed by the chattering of the winged creatures. After Yoongi attends to the shrooms (during which the damned things wouldn’t shut up about how he and you were destined for life, claiming they could see into his soul), he retreats from the greenhouse and back into the real world.

He finds you in the shop, busily attending five different customers, and he already knows he’s going to get hell for this as soon as they’re done. “Hello, how can I help you?” he asks, rushing down the wooden steps. The customer glares at you before returning a friendly grin to Yoongi.

“Finally some service around here! I need to pick up an order. Heat suppressants for a young hybrid.”

“Sure thing,” Yoongi says, moving to the counter. “Name?”

“Lee Daesong.”

“Got it.”

Yoongi turns around, shuffling through the wooden cabinets behind him. He pulls out a small sack where the name “Lee Daesong” is printed in fine, gold ink. Yoongi hands it the man and he returns a smile and a handful of gold pieces.

“Thanks. Have a good day.”

“You too. Come back soon.”

Yoongi watches as you help an old witch with a spell before escorting her out of the shop, and you close the door with an exasperated sigh, whipping around to face your co-worker. He’s expecting you to yell, but instead he’s greeted with cold silence. You seethe instead, sitting down at your workstation and ignoring him entirely.

He rolls his eyes in annoyance. “Not even gonna talk to me now?”

“I have nothing to say.”

“Y/N,” the shifter whines, standing in front of your desk. “For fucks sake, we work together!”

“Unfortunately.”

“C’mon, really?”

You look up, staring him in the eye as your finger flicks the air, turning the pages of the book for you. “You left me to deal with five angry customers all on my own, and Seokjin is probably gonna hear about it and have my head!”

“Look, I’ll vouch, okay? My fault.”

“Yeah,” you scoff, “as if. We all know he loves you.”

“Loves me? You’re his prodigy student!” Yoongi exclaims, and he can feel his blood beginning to heat up.

You stand up, glaring at him. “Whatever. Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Yeah. Whatever,” Yoongi retorts before stomping off. You hear the distinct slam of the greenhouse door, and you sit back down in a huff.

It’s not like Yoongi is a bad person. He’s a great person. Hell, he’s perfect. And maybe that’s what pissed you off so much about him.

You liked him when you first met him. You might’ve even harbored a small crush on him. But after years of being groomed as the “prodigy student,” the girl destined for greatness, it irked you to find someone so good at magic―and so easily praised by your idol. Working for the Wizard Seokjin is a dream come true, but he never seems to have time for you. He might give you a passive nod after a potion well-done, but all Yoongi needs to do is smile at him and all of a sudden he’s getting cakes and cookies and a new plant to take care of.

Quite simply, you hated that. So you hated him.

The only good thing that came out of meeting Yoongi was the fact that you push yourself to be the best you can be every single day. You practice your magic into long, dark hours, ignoring the pulse of your head after so many spells. Magic flows from your fingers with incredible ease, and everywhere but the shop, at least, you are praised for it. At least something was worth it.

As the sun finally set to reveal a shimmering night sky, Yoongi flips the shop’s sign to “closed,” and you both begin packing up for the evening. Seokjin returns, his arms stuffed to the brim of all kinds of wacky looking plants and contraptions. Yoongi rushes to help him, ending up with a hoard of stuff that piled high and obscured his vision.

You crack a smile until Yoongi says, “I can feel your happiness. Stop it.”

Seokjin sets down his bags before taking the load off, one by one, and ratting off each thing’s use. “This one,” he says, holding up a clear jar with red fluid sloshing around in it, “is siren’s blood. Straight from the Seventh Sea. Pretty isn’t it? See the way it glitters?”

“Gross,” Yoongi says, his nose scrunching in distaste. “I can smell it through the jar.”

“What’s it for?” you ask.

“Really good for curses,” Seokjin replies as he stashes it away. “It’s pretty potent stuff. Good for enemies.”

“Thanks for the tip.”

“It’s not to be used on innocent shapeshifters!” Yoongi pipes up, not liking the idea of you having access to such a thing.

“You act as if I would hurt you―”

Both Seokjin and Yoongi interrupt you with a sharp look.

“―on purpose! You didn’t let me finish!”

“The ‘innocent shapeshifter’ is right, Y/N. No curses.” Yoongi smiles triumphantly until the wizard says, “And you’re not allowed to use it to make yourself into some terrifying, super animal, okay?”

“Wait, I can do that?”

“Don’t give him ideas!” you shout.

“Enough, enough,” Seokjin says with a dismissive wave of his hands. “Gods, you two really don’t know when to cut it out, do you? No matter. I’ll see you both bright and early in the morning! Now get out. I can’t stand the sound of you two arguing.”

You and Yoongi give him a sheepish grin and utter your goodbyes before exiting the shop. The streets have a wispy, yellow glow to them, courtesy of the streetlights. You see a few pixies flying near the rooftops, dancing to a tune that you can’t hear.

“Gonna stand there the entire night?” asks Yoongi from behind you, ruining the serenity of the moment.

“Not as long as you’re here,” you reply cooly. You step away from him, turning to head home. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Don’t be afraid to call in sick.”

“And make your day? Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Yoongi watches you go, shaking his head in irritation. You hear the sound of him morphing, but when you turn around, his figure is long gone. You shrug, continuing down the quiet street on your own. You pass stores and boutiques, markets and taverns before arriving at a cozy cafe on the street’s corner.

The bell on the door jingles as you push your way in, and a fluffy, two-headed puppy bounds its way up to you. You squat down in excitement, cooing and petting the dog until a shadow appear over you.

“I swear he likes you more than me. One day he’s just gonna leave with you.”

“If that’s the case I can consider my life a successful one. Hi, Taehyung.”

“Dork,” he says with a cheesy grin, pulling you into a hug. “How was work?”

“Terrible.”

“Yoongi?”

“Hate that guy.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and laughs, walking back towards the counter, his cloak flowing behind him. “He’s a good guy,” he says as he turns on the latte machine. “I don’t know what you have against him.”

You groan. “Can everyone stop telling me he’s such a great guy? I’m over it!”

“Well, he is. Sorry.”

“Taehyungie,” you whine. “You’re supposed to be my best friend. Take my side for once!”

“As your best friend it is my legal obligation to tell you when you should shut the fuck up and make friends with the guy.”

You huff, sitting in a chair with Cosmo comfortably seated in your lap. “That’s it. Cosmo is my new best friend.”

“Fine. Yoongi is mine.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

Taehyung shrugs, bringing back a latte for you and a juice for himself. “I’ve known him forever. He’s a good friend.”

“Better than me?”

“No,” Taehyung snorts, “you both are terrible. Always complaining about each other and never doing anything about it.”

Cosmo hops off of your lap to snuggle up next to his owner. Taehyung alternates between heads, scratching them both behind the ears.

“Oh, he talks about me?”

“Don’t let it inflate your ego. He’s just telling me about what a bad person you are. You two seriously need to think about couple’s therapy. It’s been two years.”

“Taehyung―”

“Look, Y/N, in all seriousness, I love you both. Sure, I’ve known you longer, but I’d be lying if I said Yoongi wasn’t a good friend.” He pauses to sip his drink. “But if you both are going into the same career, which is, keep in mind, healing, then you need to learn to work with people you don’t like.”

“Yeah, but Yoongi is―”

“Is a person that you’re spending a lot of time with, like it or not. Might as well make the most of the situation.”

You slump in your chair, suddenly feeling very childish. You love Taehyung, but you hate how he’s always right. He’s too damn smart. “I knew I should’ve talked to Hoseok today.”

“Really?” Taehyung laughs. “The man’s a sadist! He’d be giving you the worst advice possible.”

“Well, maybe that’s what I need.”

“Oh, fuck off, Y/N. C’mon. Try it my way first. Then, if it really, really sucks, you can go talk to the witchdoctor and see what he has to say.”

“Fine, fine. But only because I love you.”

“Mmhmm, I love you, too. Now go. Namjoon’s coming to pick me up.”

“Oh?” you say as you stand. “How’s that going?”

“Would probably go better if you weren’t here when he showed up!” he exclaims as he about shoves you out the door.

“Okay, okay, okay! Bye, Taehyung.”

“Bye, Y/N. Let me know how it goes tomorrow, okay?”

“Will do. Can I take Cosmo with me?”

“Not a chance.”

“Fucker.”

Against Taehyung’s wishes, you show up at Hoseok’s door anyway, and he greets you with a mischievous smile. “Can I do something for you, Y/N?”

“Yeah,” you laugh. “I need a curse.”

―

You take a deep breath before entering the shop, trying to swallow the last of your pride. Taehyung is right, you know it. You just need to be the bigger person.

You climb the steps, and the door opens with a soft creak. Yoongi is already there, humming quietly as he organizes his plants. There’s a fairy napping on his shoulder, but she flies out of sight as soon as she hears you.

Yoongi looks up, expecting a snide remark, but he’s pleasantly surprised when all you say is, “Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

“Do anything fun last night?” you ask as you rifle through the papers that Seokjin has left at your desk.

“I―uh, yeah. Visited some friends.”

“Cool, me too.” You sit down, your eyebrows scrunched in concentration as you take in the information before you. Most of the papers are written in Ancient Draconian, and you can’t for the life of you remember what the squiggly symbol means.

“Hey, uh,” Yoongi interrupts you, waving a hand in front of your face.

You look up in confusion, not expecting to see him standing so close. “Yeah? What?”

“Are you okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re just… acting really nice, is all.”

Your cheeks flush and you look back down, averting his gaze. “I just figure that we should be nicer to each other is all.”

Yoongi chuckles and shakes his head. Taehyung. He points to the squiggly symbol on the paper. “Mix thoroughly.”

You pause, not quite registering that Min Yoongi just willingly helped you. “Oh. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

He turns around, going back to work. The fairy from before is now hiding in his hair, eyeing you suspiciously. “She’s up to something,” West whispers just loud enough for Yoongi to hear.

“Don’t be so cynical.”

The two of you are doing your own thing in silence until Seokjin pops into the shop with a loud whap. He stops immediately, watching as the two of you work peacefully. “Did someone die?”

“Nope. Just trying something new.”

Seokjin narrows his eyes, glancing feverishly between the two of you. “It’s weird. I don’t like it.”

“You don’t like us getting along?” you ask.

“What can I say? I must’ve gotten used to two years worth of unnecessary yelling.” The two of you say nothing as he begins his ascent up the stairs. Halfway up, he halts before saying, “You’re not fucking, are you?”

“W-What!”

“No!”

Seokjin puts his hands up in defense. “Sorry, sorry. Felt like I had to ask.” And with that, he disappears.

The air is thick with uncomfortable tension until someone walks in, and you both breathe in relief. It’s an attractive young man, dressed in a suit of fine, red silk and a black robe. He fiddles with his watch before turning his attention towards you.

“I’m here to pick up a potion.”

“O-Oh, yes. Sorry. Uh, name?”

“Jeon Jungkook. Can I also pick up a few ingredients while I’m here?”

“Sure. Yoongi can help you with that.”

Yoongi hops beside you, giving the visitor a gracious smile. “What are you looking for today, Sir?”

“Mm, a few things. Fairy wings, golden nightshade, black shrooms, and a couple of unicorn tears.”

“Sure,” Yoongi says with a nod. “The fairy wings and unicorn tears are here, and if you prefer, you can pick out the nightshade and shrooms yourself.”

“I would like that very much, yes.”

“Follow me then.”

Yoongi leads Jungkook to the greenhouse, and the two of them walk in silence until Jungkook says, “So how long have you and Y/N been together?”

Yoongi stops, eyes wide. “I―uh. What? We’re not… How do you know her name?”

“Oh, my bad,” Jungkook says with a small laugh. “Sometimes it’s hard to tell the future from the present.”

“What?”

“I’m a seer. Sorry if that wasn’t clear. I can see people as they are now and who they’re going to become. Trying to work on seeing people in the past, but that’s a bit tricky. Everybody’s hidden themselves away.”

“So,” Yoongi says as he leads them towards the field of nightshade, “you’re telling me that we… me and Y/N… we become a couple?”

“Should I not have said anything?”

“No I just… We hate each other.”

“Hate? Doesn’t seem like it.”

“What are you talking about? There’s not a single day that she and I have ever gotten along.”

Jungkook smiles and sticks his hands in his pockets. Yoongi thinks he looks infuriatingly calm. “She envies you. You admire her. Your ‘hate’ is just a miscommunication. Plus your souls are practically yearning to be together. I thought it was obvious.”

They stop at the nightshade garden, and Jungkook begins picking his way through them, leaving a dumbfounded Yoongi to process this information alone. “So we’re… soulmates?” Yoongi asks quietly as Jungkook picks his plant.

“Yep,” the seer says quite nonchalantly. “But beyond that it’s kind of blurry. Not sure why.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know. It’s blurry. What more do you want me to say?”

“I’m not a mage. I don’t know what ‘blurry’ means.”

“It means I can’t see. I can see images. I see you two together. But beyond that it’s all very hazy. It’s blurry.”

“Sounds like a lot of projection to me,” Yoongi replies as he leads the young seer to the shroom patch. “Did Taehyung put you up to this?”

“Oh, you know Taehyung? I love that guy! His dog is super cute too.”

“He did, didn’t he?”

Jungkook laughs again. “Certainly not. Taehyung takes orders. Doesn’t give ‘em,” he says with a smirk.

Yoongi cringes. He did not need to know that. “Here are the shrooms. The black ones are back there.”

Jungkook nods, careful not to tread on any. “Shrooms can see into your soul too, can’t they? What do they say?”

Yoongi knows the answer, but he doesn’t want to give this guy the smug satisfaction of being right. “I don’t know.”

“Hm, maybe I’m wrong then.” He steps back onto the main path and Yoongi begins to lead them back into the shop. “But I’m probably not. Thanks for the stuff. How much will that be?”

“That’s forty-six gold,” you interject from your place at the counter.

“Perfect. I’ll see you two love-birds around, yeah? Have a good day.”

You watch him exit with wide eyes before turning to Yoongi. “Uh…”

“Don’t ask. Guy’s crazy.”

―

At some point, you’re not really sure when, you realize that you don’t actually have to try to be nice to Yoongi. You can just do it. Maybe he’s not all bad.

He still irritates you, though.

“So I hear you two are getting along now, huh?” Taehyung says from across the table.

Hoseok, who had been slurping at his food noisily, stops and looks up. “Yoongi?”

“Yeah. We are. Doesn’t make him less annoying though.”

“How’s that curse going?”

“No need for your curses, Hoseok,” Taehyung replies with a shake of his head.

Hoseok shrugs. “Too late. Already done.”

Taehyung looks at the both of you in shock. “You did what?” he screams.

“Relax,” he says around a mouthful of food. “It’s nothing bad. Just take away something he loves.”

“Hoseok!”

“It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt anyone. The thing he loves most right now is an old record player.”

“Or,” Taehyung interjects, “you could, I don’t know, not.”

“Ah, you’re no fun.” He turns his attention back to you. “So tell me more about this Yoongi character. Y’all gonna fuck?”

Taehyung’s face turns at his crass statement, and you slap his arm. “We will not! He’s a friend.” The words were out of your mouth before you could think about it, and Taehyung’s face is absolutely glowing.

“He’s a friend! Oh my gods I have to go tell the whole world.”

“Please, don’t. I hate you.”

“It’s okay. You love Yoongi.”

“Wow, can’t believe she’s all grown-up. Boyfriend and everything,” Hoseok laughs.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” you shout defensively.

“Yeah, yeah. So I hear he’s a pretty powerful shapeshifter, right? Super young too.”

“Yeah,” says Taehyung. “He’s got a pretty impressive streak. And you hear the rumors about his family? They say that Min shapeshifters can become magical entities.”

“Aren’t they already magical entities themselves?”

“No, no, like demons. Angels. Unicorns. Mermaids. Dragons.”  

“What? No way. And a healer too, huh? Sounds like you two are perfect together, Y/N.”

“We’re not―”

“Oh no,” Taehyung says, “they’re soulmates.”

“Can you both please―”

“I knew it.”

“Stop it!” you bark, causing them both to stop and look at you. “Nothing is happening! He’s a friend, okay? Yes. That’s it. Now, my break is over, so I need to get back to work. I’ll talk to you guys later, okay?”

“Yeah, alright. See you.”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself as you make your way back to the shop. When the door opens, you’re afraid to find yourself suddenly pinned to the floor and face-to-face with a very mean looking wolf. Your body is frozen in panic, and for a second you forget any magic you had ever learned.

But then the wolf turns into a man, and you’re faced with one happy looking Min Yoongi. “That’s for being late,” he says as he climbs off you before extending you a hand.

You take it, and apparently Yoongi is stronger than you think because he pulls you right up, and now you’re face-to-face with his chest instead. Wow.

“Jerk,” you murmur before pulling away, the slightest tint to your cheeks.

“Aw, don’t be mad. You set my shirt on fire when I was late, remember?”

“Oh, right―”

“And then you said I had rabies.”

You cringe, preferring not to remember the more unsavory aspects of your behavior towards him. “Right. I know. I deserved that. I’m sorry.”

Yoongi laughs, his cheeks crinkling to accommodate his big smile. “Wow, I can’t believe I got an apology out of you.”

“That’s the only one you’ll ever get,” you say with a smile.

The day goes by easily; you spent most of it poured over your books. Seokjin left plenty of things for you to decrypt, most of them being lost spells. Where he acquired them you were afraid to ask.

“It’s closing time,” Yoongi says, appearing beside you. You look up, surprised to see that the world is dark beyond the shop’s windows.

“Oh. I didn’t even notice.”

“You’re too wrapped up in… what is this? Elvish?”

You giggle. “Nope. Mermaidian. Can you believe it?”

“I thought their spells were lost in the sinking of Atlantis.”

You thought so too, but apparently not. “Don’t know,” you say with a shrug. “And I’m not about to ask Seokjin. He does enough sketchy activity on his own.”

“You might have a point. C’mon. I’ll clean if you file.”

“Aw, what a gentleman.”

The cabinet complains loudly as you nudge it open, filing away the day’s receipts. Yoongi swipes up any stray dirt and waters his plants one last time. Your mind is preoccupied with the spells, though, and you’re running through the motions in your head. As soon as you’re finished, you’re back at your desk, trying to comprehend its instructions. You don’t notice Yoongi leaning on the broom, watching you intensely. The way you run your fingers through your hair, or the way your hair keeps falling out from behind your ears. The way you get a slight flush to your cheeks when you’ve made a breakthrough, or the adorable way you whisper as you talk yourself through it.

It’s when you smile to yourself and the thing in Yoongi’s chest damn near purrs that he drops the broom he’s leaning on and almost falls because, well, when did he catch feelings for you?

You perk up, alerted by the noise. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he says, his voice shaking slightly. “Scared myself is all. I think I’m tired.”

You nod. “Go home.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I will. What about you?” he asks as he grabs his bag.

“I’ll close up. Goodnight, Yoongi.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

Yoongi departs and you throw yourself back into your work, the solitary atmosphere something of second nature to you. You read the words of the script outloud, the hand motions coming to you naturally, and glittery, golden water fills up your hands. The fairy Novus, who likes to come and watch you sometimes, gives you a cheer, and you file the spell away, moving on to the next.

This one is a bit harder, and you laugh a bit to yourself because, hey, this one is in Elvish. It takes a couple tries (and a lot of frustrated murmuring) before you’re able to get it; thorny vines erupt from shimmering green sigils on the ground, whipping around dangerously like they’re looking for an enemy to strike. You quickly reverse your actions, the sigils vanishing into thin air and taking the vines along with it.

“Old Elvish battle spell,” you say to Novus as you file it away. “Good for enemies.”

“What about this one?” He flies down to your desk, picking a spell written on burn parchment. The writing shimmers, but there’s something deeply unsettling about it. You shrug and pick it up.

“Not sure. Looks Draconian, but it’s not.”

Novus hovers over it for a second before looking up at you in realization. “Oh! It’s an old spell from the Blood Age! It’s like a combination of Draconian and Vampiric.”

“Hmm, sounds utterly terrifying.” You smile. “I’m gonna try it.”

“Do you need help reading it?”

“Yeah, do you mind?”

Novus shakes his head, sitting atop your shoulder as he helps you recite the words. When you’ve learned it fully, Novus steps back and watches the magic happen.

―

Yoongi is halfway through his flight home when he feels it. The thing in his chest growls, twists and turns and he abruptly drops in altitude, suddenly feeling very wrong. It doesn’t take him long to realize that something’s happened to you, and he’s darting back towards the shop within seconds.

There’s an eerie red light emanating from the shop when he gets there, and when he knocks on the door, he gets no answer. “Y/N?” he shouts. “It’s me. Are you okay?”

No answer. The Thing urges him forward, begging him to just kick down the damn door.

So he does.

The door opens to reveal you, eyes closed as you cry out, your feet chained down by restraints that wind up from a terrifying, red portal. Yoongi takes a step towards you before he’s pushed roughly back by a small, purple light.

“Don’t touch it!” Novus shouts. “It’s bad magic! Bad magic!”

“What? What happened? We need to get her out of there!”

“No, no, no,” the fairy cries, zipping around the shop in a panic. “Bad magic, it’s bad magic…”

Yoongi turns to you, and the Thing shouts as he watches you scream in pain, your eyes opening for a split second to land on him before closing again. He doesn’t know what to do. All he knows is that you’re hurting and something is trying to take you from him and oh, gods, why does his chest hurt so bad?

He doubles over in pain, and his head starts to feel fuzzy, like he’s falling asleep. The Thing roars, and he blacks out.

When he wakes up, he’s in his apartment. He does not remember getting there. He also does not know why you’re cradled in his arms, nor does he know why he physically can’t bring himself to let you go. But most importantly, why are the two of you on the hard-fucking-floor?

Yoongi lifts you gently and brings you into his room. He tucks you underneath the covers before tucking you under him, his arms wrapped protectively around you as he pulls you tightly to his chest. He breathes in your scent before drifting off again, his mind hazy.

―

You wake with a start, the previous night’s events rushing back to you at once. You remember Novus. You remember the language. You remember the words. You remember watching as your hands conjured a portal straight from Hell, and you watched as the Devil’s Ropes ensnared your feet, then your legs and hands. You remember a voice, a deep, ugly voice whispering your darkest fears in your ears. You remember blinding pain, coursing through your body as if in your very blood. But most important you remember Yoongi. He was there. He transformed into something terrible, something you never though capable, and he closed the portal himself.

And as everything came back to you, your body shook, and tears fell from your face. You bury your head in the pillow, afraid that when you open your eyes you would see it all again.

But when you do open your eyes again it’s to a soft-smiling Yoongi, gently rubbing the tears off your cheeks. “Don’t worry,” he says, “You’re safe with me.”

You hesitate, all of a sudden unsure of how to act, before rolling into him, body pressed right against his as you cry. He holds you close, stroking you lightly and whispering reassurances until your body stops trembling.

“Thank you,” you mumble into his chest. “Thank you for saving me.”

He leans down and kisses your head, an act that doesn’t go unnoticed by either of you. “What would I do without my favorite coworker?”

You sit up abruptly. “Work! Seokjin’s gonna kill me! I’m―”

“Come here,” he says, grabbing you by the hand and putting you back on the bed. “You’re taking a day off. I’ll tell him what happened.”

“But Yoongi―”

“Good luck trying to argue with me,” he laughs. “I’ll send Taehyung over to check on you, okay?”

You nod, sinking back down into the bed. “Okay.”

―

“I can’t believe it! He’s your prince charming!”

“Shut up, Tae. So he saved me from a demonic portal. Big deal.”

“Gods, you’re dense.”

“What are you talking about?” you groan.

“Okay, tell me, how did Yoongi know to come back for you?”

“Uh, I don’t know, lucky guess?”

“You know, as smart as you are, you can be pretty stupid.”

“Hey!”

“Shapeshifters have what can only be described as a thing in their chest, right? The source of all their powers?”

“Yeah, yeah. This is common knowledge, Tae.”

“Well the Thing is alert to danger when something they care strongly for is in trouble.”

“Okay…?”

“Holy fuck, you’re slow! He cares about you! And a hell of a lot too if his Thing thinks you’re that important.”

“What, so, it thinks I’m like his mate?”

“I mean, weird way to put it, but yeah. Pretty much.”

You lean back, your soup long forgotten. “Woah.”

“Now the question is, how do you feel about him?”

“I actually… I don’t know. I guess I’ve never thought about it.”

“Well, get thinking about it. ‘Cause the truth is out there for him at least. I know you like to hide yourself from people, Y/N,” Taehyung says, standing to clean up. “But do yourself a favor, okay? Don’t hide from him.”

Taehyung leaves you confused and irritated in Yoongi’s apartment, and there’s not much for you to do except pace back and forth impatiently.

“How do I feel about Yoongi?” you said aloud. “Hell if I know!” You flick your fingers in agitation, sparks flying from them every so often. Okay, yes, he’s good looking. Really good looking, but who’s paying attention? He’s got a heart of gold; you’ve seen it firsthand.

But that doesn’t mean you like him, right?

Sure, he can be equal parts infuriating and equal parts endearing. And, sure, the way that little kids and magical creatures alike flock to him is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, and yes, he has the cutest smile, and wow you wish you weren’t so stupid because you’ve obviously liked him for a while now. Maybe you even loved him. At this point, who knew? Certainly not you.

You flop down on his couch in defeat. You really should’ve seen that coming from a mile away. At least Taehyung did.

The door rattles and keys jingle from the other side of it, and you realize that the sun had set long ago. You sit up, looking a bit frazzled as Yoongi walks in, and he looks just as startled, not really expecting you to pop up like that.

“What’s up?” he asks with a laugh, placing his keys on the counter.

“Not much. Thanks for sending Taehyung over by the way. How was work? Was Seokjin mad? Is he going to fire me?”

“Relax,” he says as he comes to sit next to you. “He felt really bad, actually. He never meant to put that spell in your stack.”

“Oh.”

Yoongi looks at you with a sweet, sincere smile, and suddenly it’s like you’re seeing him for the first time. His pretty, pale skin. The way his hair falls over his head. His deep, thoughtful eyes.

“Something wrong?” he asks, pulling you out of your trance.

“Um. No. Actually. Okay, wow, I just…”

Don’t hide from him.

“I wanna tell you something.”

“Why doesn’t that sound good?”

“No, no, it’s good!” You pause. “I hope.”

“You’re making me nervous.”

“Okay, okay.” You take a deep breath. Taehyung’s words replaying in your mind.

Don’t hide from him.

“I… think I like you.”

Yoongi stares at you for a moment, and you think he’s about to reject you, and you swear you’re going to murder Kim Taehyung until he says, “That’s a relief.” He inches closer to you, and suddenly you’re very aware of your proximity. “Because I think I like you, too.”

Overwhelmed with the incredible urge to kiss the man in front of you, you only hesitate for a second before your lips are on his, and suddenly everything feels right in the world.

You can’t explain it; maybe it’s magic. Something is dancing through you, lifting you up and making your heart race. It’s something to do with Yoongi, you know, but beyond that you can’t tell. All you really care about is the fact that his lips are so soft and you wish you had done this sooner.

Yoongi’s hand slides to your waist and pulls you onto his lap, desperate to have you as close as possible. The thing in his chest is fucking ecstatic, having waited too long. Yoongi bites down gently on your bottom lip, and your mouth opens to let out a small gasp, a sound he quickly swallows back down. His hands are digging roughly into your sides, itching to go farther but afraid to make the first move. You’re wrapped around his neck, stroking the sensitive skin there.

You depart from his lips, evoking a quiet, needy sound from him as you move across his cheek and down his jaw before reaching his neck. You nip the skin, and Yoongi can’t help but grind up into you. It occurs to you that Min Yoongi is hard underneath you, and you’re doing no better, and you grind down into him, eliciting the sweetest of sounds from him.

“Y/N… we can… we can stop.”

“I don’t want to.”

“A-Are you sure.”

You pause to look up at him and nod eagerly. “I’m sure.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back,” he says, and the look in your eyes tells you that he’s telling the truth.

You lean in close and whisper, “I don’t want you to.”

He growls, wrapping you around his waist as he stands and carries you into the bedroom. He hardly hesitates, stripping his clothes off before ripping off your own. His eyes drink you in, loving the sight of you flushed and spread out before him, and he’s barely begun. He takes your mouth back in his before leaving kisses across your body, making sure to take pleasured time at your nipples.

He pinches one, rolling it between his fingers as he licks and laps at the other, not ever really wanting to stop because the sounds you make are oh, so pretty. But if it’s sounds he wants then it’s sounds he gets as a stray finger finds its place at your folds, flicking at your clit.

You arch your back, yelling out Yoongi’s name, and he hums in satisfaction. “That’s it, pretty girl. Say my name.”

“Y-Yoongi,” you moan as he descends, wanting to taste you for himself.

“You’re so wet for me already. I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

“Please, Yoongi,” you whimper, already so pathetically fucked out for him.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take care of you.”

Yoongi sticks his tongue out quickly, just to see your reaction, but it’s hard to tease you when you’re pushing so hard on his head. You yank on his hair, and he gives you a slap on the leg that says, “Behave.”

You squirm under him as he finally puts his mouth on you, tongue working wonders. He easily slips two fingers inside you and you cry out, the sensation nothing but bliss. He licks at you roughly and fucks you on his fingers, loving the way you twist and turn beneath him.

“You taste so good, baby,” he says before returning back to your dripping center.

“Fuck, fuck, Yoongi,” you murmur as he nibbles at your clit. “Don’t stop.”

“You’re not in charge here, baby,” he says before standing up and giving your pussy a slap. You yelp, gripping tightly to the bedsheets. Yoongi’s face is coated in your juices, and he’s never looked happier. “Come here,” he commands.

You obey, though at first you have trouble, your legs shaking from denied pleasure. “Why don’t you get me ready for you?” You take a hold of his cock, already leaking precum and just begging to be sucked, but as you lean in towards him, he grabs a hold of your hair and says, “Nah, uh, baby. I’m gonna give everything I have to that sweet pussy of yours.”

You nod, not able to find a voice for yourself. You pump him gently, and he closes his eyes and relishes the feeling. You pick up your pace and his mouth drops open, face scrunched in concentration as he tries not to cum in your hand right then and there.

Eventually he’s had enough, and he says, “Lay back, babe.”

Your back hits the mattress without a second though, eager to finally have him inside of you. Yoongi laughs, stopping to kiss you gently. He massages your thighs a couple of times before looking deep into your eyes. He doesn’t have to say anything to ask, “Is this okay?”

You give him a small nod, telling him to go ahead. He chases your lips one last time before lining himself up at your entrance.

“Please, Yoongi,” you plead.

He doesn’t respond, but looks at you through lidded eyes, his body awash with lust. “I’ll try to hold back.” He pushes his way in, and the both of you have your heads thrown back in groans of pleasure.

“D-Don’t,” you pant, struggling to find your voice. “Don’t hold back.”

“Baby…”

You grab his arm in urgency, the only thing on your mind the desperate urge to be fucked. “Please!”

Yoongi nods, withdrawing from you carefully before slamming back into you. The force has him slipping out of you, so he respositions himself and holds you close before entering you again. His grip is tight, and you can do nothing but sit there and take it.

Yoongi fucks into you with abandon, pouring everything from the last two years into his thrusts. Hate. Anger. Jealousy. Friendship. Happiness. Adoration.

He’s losing his goddamn mind inside you, and you’re no better.

Something’s alight inside of you, a fine sheen of sweat coating your body, but it’s nothing compared to the feelings raging inside you. You want this to last forever. “Yoongi,” you say, your mind dizzy with lust, “look at me.”

Yoongi does, a hand on your waist coming to trap your wrists above your head, and he stares right into your soul as he fucks the life out of you. You lean up to kiss him, though it’s more or less just tongue on tongue. The room is nothing but the sound of sex, and you can feel your orgasm approaching.

It starts in your toes, climbing its way up your body until you’re shivering. It starts to coil, centering in your stomach.”Y-Yoongi… Fuck… I’m gonna―fuck―I’m gonna cum.”

“I know, babe. Me too. Just wait. Just wait.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Touch me, please.”

Yoongi’s hand darts to your clit, feverishly working the sensitive bud. Your nails dig into his back, the sensation becoming too much.

“Cum with me, babe,” he says, and that’s all it takes for the two of you to come undone together.

You open your mouth in a scream, and Yoongi sticks two fingers in. You bob your head on them as if you were sucking his cock, muffling the sounds of your orgasm.

Finally the two of you come down, heaving as you collapse back onto the bed. You can feel the cum dripping out of you, but you really don’t give a damn. Everything just feels too good.

“Y/N?” Yoongi says through heavy breathing.

“Hm?” you answer sleepily.

“I think I lied earlier. When I said I liked you.”

“What?”

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

―

And you fall in love right back, and Seokjin is so sick of seeing the two of you cuddle at work that he is actually contemplating firing you both.

“I think I liked it better when you guys always argued,” Seokjin grumbles as he rifles through paperwork. Yoongi only grins, stealing a kiss from you on his way to the greenhouse. “Yuck. Definitely liked it better when you guys always argued.”

“Bite me,” you laugh, sticking your tongue out in defiance.

“That’s my job!” Yoongi calls from the other side of the shop, and Seokjin groans in disgust. You scratch at your hand as you continue to work; the annoying itch set in about two weeks ago and still hasn’t gone away. Seokjin takes notice, and grabs it to inspect.

“Still there, huh?”

“Yeah. Not sure what it is.”

“Get bit?”

“I don’t see a bite mark.”

“I can put a salve on it.”

“Yeah, please.”

Yoongi’s traipsing through the water lily garden when he hears Seokjin shout, “Yah! Get some blue shrooms for your girlfriend! I’m doing a thing!”

“Sounds sketch!” he shouts back but does as he’s told. The shroom patch is extra chatty today, much to his chagrin, and they’re all eager to get a word in. He does a pretty good job at ignoring them until a cursed shroom speaks up. They only have one; it’s good for enemies, as Seokjin says, and it’s an ugly, little thing. It’s green and brown and speaks with venom in its voice.

Yoongi is expecting some vicious jibe or harsh remark, but instead the shroom just says, simply, “What do you love most?”

Yoongi hesitates. “What?”

“You heard me.” The shroom repeats itself. “What, in your life, do you love most?”

It sounds like a harmless question, so Yoongi answers, “Y/N, of course.”

“Of course,” the shroom says, and its mouth morphs into a horrible grin as a shrill scream pierces the air. Yoongi looks up in a panic, knowing full well that that’s you.

“What did you do?” Yoongi shrieks, the thing in his chest bubbling in fear and anger.

“Nothing that wasn’t already done.”

Yoongi rips the shroom out of the ground and throws it onto the floor before running as fast as he can. His human legs, he decides, aren’t fast enough and he’s at your side in the form of a big, black wolf. He morphs back into a human and holds you in his arms, searching to Seokjin for answers.

“What the fuck happened?” he asks, panic rising in his chest.

Seokjin looks just as alarmed. “I don’t know! She was just standing here! And then something happened, I don’t know, and now there’s a mark on her hand!”

“A mark? What mark?” He turns to look down at you and finds you sobbing, clutching desperately at your left hand. His heart aches to see you that way, and the Thing isn’t too happy about it either. “Baby,” he says, “let me see your hand.”

“I c-can’t,” you sob. “H-Hurts, Yoongi, it hurts!”

“Let me see. We can make it go away.”

With coaxing from both Yoongi and Seokjin, you’re able to release your hand long enough to show them the source of your pain. A large ‘X’ is embedded in your skin, written in an odd mix of gold glitter and your own blood.

Seokjin frowns, a look that does not put Yoongi at ease, and says, “Let’s put her to sleep for a bit. Then we can try and discern what’s wrong.”

Yoongi doesn’t have nearly half a second to protest when Seokjin is already casting the spell, and you fall limp in Yoongi’s arms. At least you’re not crying anymore. Yoongi carries you upstairs at Seokjin’s behest and lays you on his bed.

“What the hell is that?” he asks the wizard who’s pacing nervously around the room. He doesn’t get an answer when two figures zap into the room.

“Got your message,” Taehyung says, rushing to your side. “What happened?”

“Maybe you can tell me,” Seokjin replies, anger lacing his voice.

“What? Are you trying to imply I had something to do with it?”

“No. But your friend here might.”

Hoseok looks up in shock. “Okay, I am a lot of things but never, never would I hurt Y/N.”

“Look at her hand,” Seokjin says simply, and the color drains from Hoseok’s face.

“What? But I…”

Then he notices Yoongi standing there, and everything clicks into place. He storms at him, grabbing the shapeshifter and thrusting him against the wall.

“What the fuck?” Yoongi growls, ready to tear him limb from limb.

“What did you do?” Hoseok hisses, and Yoongi can only stare at him dumbfounded.

“What did I do? What did you do?”

“What did you do right before this happened? Right before the mark appeared?” Hoseok pressed.

“I… I don’t know! I was having a conversation with a dumb shroom, is all!”

“You idiot! Shrooms can see into the future!”

“So?”

“Gods, you activated the curse!”

“What curse?”

“Ah, the curse, the curse…” Hoseok mumbles, letting Yoongi down.

Taehyung approaches his friend, and he looks quite calm, so Yoongi isn’t expecting him to slap him so hard across the face.

“Motherfucker,” he fumes. “I told you. I told you. Look what you’ve done!”

“She came to me!”

“And all you had to do was say no! It’s easy! One word! N-O!”

“Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on here?” Yoongi bellows over the chaos, his voice reverberating enough to shake the room. Yoongi notices that Seokjin is crying, Taehyung’s eyes are glassy, and Hoseok looks like he’s about to collapse; he’s not so sure he wants to know anymore.

“You tell him,” Taehyung whispers. “You tell him.”

“I… I’m sorry… The curse… You can’t go back…”

“W-What?”

“It’s the Devil’s Trade,” Seokjin says, his voice rough. Yoongi has never heard him sound so wrecked. “Take away the thing your enemy loves most.” Yoongi sucks in a breath. “And you shall have the ultimate revenge.”

“At the time of the curse, you loved a record player the most. She was supposed to ask you about. She was supposed to ask you the question. But then she wanted to be nice to you and started being friends, and I guess she forgot.”

“So you’re…” Yoongi stumbles backwards. He can’t breathe. “She’s gonna… I’m…”

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok mumbles again. “She’s gonna die.”

Yoongi doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he can’t see anymore. All he can see is your broken figure, barely heaving a breathe in Seokjin’s bed. Yoongi does what he does best: he runs. He runs right out of the shop and right into the sky.

Yoongi can feel the wind rushing under him; it tugs on his wings like the hand that tugs at his heart. He hates this. Hates that all of a sudden he has no control, his life seemingly flailing like a flag in the wind.

The worst thing, however, has to be the fact that all he can remember is you.

The thing in his chest tells him to go be with you, to be by your side, but he can’t bear to see you like that. He wants to see you laugh and smile and dance with him. He wants to see you waking up next to him. He wants to see you when he comes home.

But he knows it’s not an option. He needs to be strong for you. 

He lands again, and stares at the building where he knows you’re sleeping. He takes a deep breath and steps inside the magic shop, exchanging his fears for a positive attitude.

[buckykingofmemes]

Slay Bells Ring!

As in previous years, I’m pleased to invite all of you to join me in making the silliest holiday music possible! I’ve written Bucky-versions of several well-known seasonal songs, and it’s up to you guys to perform them! Master-level skill is not at all required--we’re just having fun, so no excuses about not being “that good a singer” because you all sound lovely. 

Please post your renditions (as video or audio posts) to the blue hellsite, tag it with #Deck the Halls (and Villains) and #buckykingofmemes. The #Deck is my catchall holiday tag, so if you’re not feeling the spirit of the season, you’re welcome to block it. You may also want to send me an ask letting me know that you’ve posted, since tunglr is a little unreliable when it comes to searching tags. 

On Christmas Eve, I’ll put together a post with a list of links to everyone’s beautiful songs, so we can all enjoy some lovely holiday tunes. 

The full lyrics are under the readmore below, and also in Chapter 39: Slay Bells Ring! of Uphill Both Ways on Ao3. 

The songs are:

Winter Soldier’s Gunnin’ You Down (To the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

I Just Want To Buy Plums (To the tune of Jingle Bells)

Old Stevie (To the tune of White Christmas)

Buchanan Barnes (To the tune of O Tannenbaum)

Bucky the Asset (To the tune of Frosty the Snowman)

Roger, Captain Rogers! (To the tune of the Dreidel Song)

Winter Soldier’s Gunnin’ You Down

(To the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

You better watch out, you better not cry

You’ll probably bleed out, I’m tellin’ you why

Winter Soldier’s gunnin’ you down

He’s got a hit list, he’s starting a fight

He’s clenching his fist, it’s shiny and bright

Winter Soldier’s gunnin’ you down!

He sees you when you’re sleeping

He knows when you’re awake

His aim is really fucking good and he’s gonna assassinate

You better watch out, you better not cry

You’ll probably bleed out, I’m tellin’ you why

Winter Soldier’s gunnin’ you down

He’s yanking out wheels and firing guns

If you were smart you’d probably run

Winter Soldier’s gunning you down!

Winter Soldier’s gunning you down!

I Just Want To Buy Plums

(To the tune of Jingle Bells)

Dashing through the streets

On a stolen motorbike

Jumping over cars

Fleeing for my life!

War Machine’s up high

There’s some angry cat guy

I’m adding to my list of crimes by

Running traffic lights!

Oh! A-P-B out on me! Please leave me alone!

Superheroes after me but i want to go home!

Oh! A-P-B out on me! Please leave me alone!

Please call Steve, he’ll vouch for me

I just wanted some plums!

Old Stevie

(To the tune of White Christmas)

I’m dreaming of the old Stevie

That little punk I used to know

He was much smaller–still a brawler

In Brooklyn oh so long ago.

I’m dreaming of the old Stevie

With every Nazi that I fight

Before we got frozen…before the explosions

The trenchfoot, marching and frostbite…

I’m dreaming of the old Stevie

I’m dreaming of the old Stevie

Who had less muscles but more brains

Sure, he’s less sickly and he heals quickly

But he keeps on jumping out of planes

Buchanan Barnes

(To the tune of O Tannenbaum)

Buchanan Barnes, Buchanan Barnes,

How metal are your phalanges!

Your fist so shiny and so bright

(Not great for sneaking in the night)

Buchanan Barnes, Buchanan Barnes,

How metal are your phalanges!

Bucky the Asset

(To the tune of Frosty the Snowman)

Bucky the Asset

Was a sad and tortured soul

With a big trench knife

And a heart that froze and

A homicidal goal

Bucky the Asset

Is a ghost story they say

He was lost in snow

But the nazis know

He can thaw and be re-froze

There must’ve been some science

To that evil brainwipe chair

For when they placed it on his head

He went all “vacant stare”

Bucky the Asset

Was as dead as dead could be

Except on days

When he went to slay

Certain wealthy families!

Bucky the Asset

Knew he’d shaped the century

So when Steve said “Run!”

He just shot his gun

And said “Bucky? That’s not me.“

Over the city

With a big gun in his hand

Strutting here and there

All around midair

Where they made a final stand

He fought with Steve who yelled out “Please–

You’re Bucky–please just stop!”

And he paused for a long moment when

Steve let his shield drop!

Bucky the Asset

Had to hurry and escape

But he waved goodbye saying,

“Don’t you die

I’ll be back again some day”

Punchity, Punch, Punch

Punchity, Punch, Punch

Look at Bucky go

Punchity, Punch, Punch

Punchity, Punch, Punch

Who’s Bucky–he don’t know!

Roger, Captain Rogers!

(To the tune of the Dreidel Song)

I have a little radio

For talking in the field

And when I use it badly

Cap says “Keep ‘em sealed!”

Roger, Captain Rogers!

No puns about the bomb

Roger, Captain Rogers!

No chatter on the comms.

I have a little walkie

For secret late-night ops

But if say a swear word,

Stevie says to stop

Language, Language, Language!

No swearing on the line!

Language, Language, Language!

I guess that’s fuckin fine!

I have a little earpiece

For undercover work

But Stevie overhears me

Call some assclown a “jerk”

Roger, Captain Rogers!**

No jokes about his mom

Roger, Captain Rogers!

No chatter on the comms.

I have a little wire

I wear under my shirt

But then when I get injured

Steve hears the things I blurt

Language, Language, Language!

No swearing on the line!

Language, Language, Language!

I guess that’s fuckin fine!

I have a special playlist

For flights in the Quinjet

Stevie says to mute it ,

But whoopsie, I forget!

Roger, Captain Rogers!

No awesome winter songs!

Roger, Captain Rogers!

No chatter on the comms.

[larahonnor]

My 4 year Cancerversary... where am I now?

Tuesday 9th October 2018

Writing this doesn’t feel real. When I started this blog I didn’t know where it would lead me or if it would end prematurely. But this blog, sharing my story has opened so many doors. IT FOUND ME LOVE! I’m married to the most wonderful man because of this blog. I always felt, even if my writing only helps one person who reads this then I have achieved what I set out to do. It’s so important to help others who are going through the same experience. It’s a survivors duty I think.

I haven’t properly written for almost 2 years. Life moves on and you forget you even had the C bomb.

BUT I’M VERY MUCH ALIVE! Still in remission and hanging on to get past that 5 year cancer free milestone.

After I finished all my treatment back in June 2015, being Triple Negative, I didn’t have to have any continuous hormone treatment so that was it. Goodbye Cancer. Hello new life. Just a mammogram once a year and that’s the only thing left I have to do with Cancer.

And what has happened since then?

From London I moved to be with my love Mikey in Brighton, we got married and then moved to Somerset to be near his family, the best place to be whilst he waited for a double lung transplant due to his Cystic Fibrosis.

In August this year after waiting over 2 years and 3 false alarms our prayers were finally answered and Mikey had a double lung transplant.

Cancer taught me that miracles do happen and this next chapter in our lives has shown us again. The operation was a huge success and Mikey’s new life, our new healthy life together, is just getting started. To follow Mikey’s transplant journey have a peek below:

So what has cancer taught me?

Everything.

And.

Nothing.

At first the small trivial things just don’t matter. They get brushed aside without any hesitation. But as time goes by that wears off. I find myself getting het up over the smallest of things. Like laundry and cleaning and cooking and if my train gets cancelled, I have a full blown balling my eyes out melt down. The train conductor in Yeovil knows me quite well now.

And just because I’ve had cancer certainly doesn’t mean I’ve turned into a Saint. I get grumpy and I swear a lot when really I should be putting things into perspective and reminding myself everyday how lucky I am to be alive. Which I do try to do. After saying a few f**k offs for good measure.

Basically I’ve gone back to being the same old me. Except I have a gorgeous husband and 2 scrummy dogs.

Actually ‘normal’ life is truly wonderful. In fact I bloody love it. Hanging out with my hubbership and the dogs is pure bliss. So maybe I should view getting stressed over the little things as a gift. It means I’m alive and not ill!

Cancer you have also taught me everything.

Nature was my saviour throughout my treatment. A 20 minute walk a day with Edward round the pretty little park nearby was my happy medicine. Fresh air, trees, plants, green grass, squirrels and the birds were my daily boost. Or on sunny days I’d jump in the car and drive to the sea to recharge and energise. This feeling has stayed with me ever since and I’m having a bit of a career change in the direction of Therapeutic Horticulture. Since moving to Somerset I’ve been working in a Nursery which specialises in plants for shade.

This sounds a bit cheesy but one day at work I had what can only be described as an epiphany.

I noticed a Hosta... with drops of water on it sparkling in the sun. It was quite simply the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. More beautiful than any diamond. And it suddenly hit me.

Nature is the answer to everything.

Plants have always been my thing in the background whilst growing up. I have my parents love of gardening to thank for that. My old housemates will vouch for me, there was always something growing on our balcony and roof terrace. In fact I even scrambled across the roof to plant more flowers for the insects and Bees!

Cancer didn’t find me nature. It brought it back to me. Reconnecting with nature and surrounding myself with flowers and growing my own veg is so incredibly healing.

It’s even proven that the bacterium in soil stimulates seretonin levels. So next time you get your hands dirty remember it’s actually helping you get happy.

This September I started a Diploma in Social and Therapeutic Horticulture at Coventry University in the hope that I will get a job in this field, helping people suffering from mental and physical illness through the healing powers of plants and nature, one day maybe even starting my own project.

Life is good. I’m so very blessed to have found my darling Mikey - thank you cancer for that - and I’m so very blessed for all the amazing souls in my life who I love with all my heart. Thank you thank you thank you. You all know who you are.

I will dip in and out of this blog from time to time. It has been my friend and my lifeline reaching out to all you wonderful people. The internet and Social media can be a dark place but it can also be the most wonderful means of communication and expression.

Always know wherever you are you’re not alone. Go outside and look at the trees. Breath in the fresh air. Nature is always always there for you just like she’s always been there for me.

💛

My boys.

Our little home in Somerset.

Cheeky Edward.

My very own veg patch.

[a-jaggedpulse]

Sato Ryuji [RECEPTION] Tokyo Memorial Event report (.....sort of)

man where do I begin It’s my first time attending these type of solo events so bear with me :’D Please also take all this with a pinch of salt because a) it’s been almost a month and as much as I will never forget this day, my memory is still a little fuzzy, and b) major fangirling happenage. If anyone has any other questions besides what was discussed here, feel free to drop an ask and I’ll try my best to answer them :)

The slot I got was at 9:30am on the 12th February in Tokyo. The event for this day was held at the Zendentsu Hall, which holds about 400-500 people. It is also located somewhere near Ochanomizu (heh heh that location...)

So once we were there, we were supposed to get in line to enter the lobby area, where ticket checking will commence. The event this time uses an e-ticket so we’d have to have our mobiles ready with the ticket page for them to check. Once we were done with our tickets, there was another table where random lots were spread out, face down, for us to pick one and that determined our seat.

I got the A row, 3rd seat which was like 2nd row from the stage (the first row was named XA). I WAS ALREADY PANICKING BECAUSE A) I DIDN’T HAVE ANYTHING PLANNED TO SAY AND B) OBVIOUSLY BEING IN FRONT MEANT YOU WERE CLOSER TO THEM AND YOU WOULD BE THE FIRST FEW FOR THE HAND-OVER/HANDSHAKE EVENT SJKSJKDJFK

MC: Ishikawa Kento

So I’m gonna go in order of the events that happened:

Talk event

Secret event (although this part, I’m just guessing lol)

Handshake/ hand-over event

Talk Event We start off with Ishikawa-san introducing himself as the emcee, opening the event and welcoming everyone present that day. He then introduces Ryuji and he walks out from the side of the stage (mind you, looking all sleepy and blinking his eyes blearily wwwww). So .....if you’re a Ryuji fan, you know how so very well the boy loves to mumble. So, yes, he mumbles his introduction as he characteristically comments how early it was (xDD) and thanks us for being there with him. So this is the part where we go through the book together and Ryuji (attempts to) share his thoughts on each individual picture or shoot. This was all done via presentation slides, as seen from the above picture. Of course, it being butts early in the morning and Ryuji, being Ryuji, mostly failed to get through this part with ease xD He mostly stated the obvious things at first (like with the library shoot, he was all “ah, books. books.... more books... I already have a book in my hand, yet I seem to be searching for something”) until Ishikawa-san was all like “please further describe the picture ^ ^;;” and while he did in fact get serious for a bit, he eventually admitted he had not much clue of what to say (lmao smh I swear).

When it came to the Goth loli pictures he straight out skipped most every one of them (”tsugi... tsugi... tsugi...” LMAO). Okay well, he did talk about the first photo at least. But the pointer person, basically the person who was controlling the slides (let’s call him “pointer-san” for now), pauses on one of the pictures, reluctant to let Ryuji skip without talking about any one of them and straight up ZOOMS INTO his face, forcing him to talk about the shoot (xD). Yes, Pointer-san was the highlight of this segment, bless Pointer-san They basically zoomed into a couple of pictures so there was no escape for Ryuji not to speak about it. There were times however where after zooming into the pictures, Pointer-san had troubles zooming out so they took some time, to which Ryuji thought they were doing it on purpose and was all “next... next.... yes, nEEXXXTT” (hahahaha!!)

After the talk session, we moved on to the Q&A corner which I’m not going to delve into unfortunately because of my limited japanese :’D Trust me I would very much butcher it instead. I would say, however, that they were all very interesting questions I never would have thought of myself! If anyone has any links of translations from tweets or whatsoever, feel free to let me know and I’ll insert them here :D

Secret Event (???) After the talk, Ishikawa-san then led us to the next part where apparently there was a special present one of us from the audience would be receiving. The present would be something of Ryuji’s possession and he would randomly choose the lucky winner via our seating arrangement.

The special present for our slot was a necklace HAKUEI-san gave Ryuji (which he was wearing that day). Ryuji chose someone (albeit after taking so SO long to decide whilst sitting in yankee position) from the H row, 3rd Seat, and the reason being was he’d went out to eat with HAKUEI-san some days earlier. The lucky girl was ushered up on stage and Ryuji removed his necklace to put it onto her wrist.

Handshake/Hand-over event So once everything was done, it was finally time for the handshake and hand-over event. (Okay so this is where my limited japanese fails me because one of the crew people was talking waaaay too fast ^ ^; but I think) They first asked if anyone was in a rush, and that they would like to go first, to which most of the girls who responded were actually from the further back row. So they were allowed first before the first row of guests had their turn. Basically, there were 2 tables: One of which to place our belongings, and the other one where the actual handshaking and handing over will occur.

So basically, with the event, you get three books with special covers only the people who went for the event would get, plus a special bromide. I think there were basically 6 different special covers? 1. The school boy look 2. the one with the traditional paper umbrella 3. the one in the library 4. the one with the sofa 5. the white prince and then 6. the white-sweater nekomimi one (correct me if I’m wrong).

So basically you go up to him once it’s your turn, shake his hand, say what you need to say and he hands you the books. He basically shakes you with both his hands (*instant death*) in a gentle, almost feather-like touch (not gonna lie, I even froze a little). 

Ryuji’s appearance

He was wearing a white shirt (or possibly a tank top) underneath, with a khaki coloured coat over it. And some reeeaaallly really long pants that seemed to sweep the floor (smh this kid wyd). His typical signature look imo (basically as seen on the first picture above). It was pretty casual compared to the first 2 Tokyo events + Osaka’s. I’m pretty sure he had brown contacts on too. It was the nice sort of brown that wasn’t too light or too dark but it was obvious enough that they were contacts ww I couldn’t see his shoes but for one split second while he was adjusting his pants, I saw heels???? Kind of like these ones from that one show he was in??

Although I’m not entirely sure about this! They were definitely heels of some sort though because they were making so much noise while he was walking around ww His hair was styled similarly to most of his event days, slightly permed. However, for this day, he had his bangs pinned up (kill me, kill me now). So it sort of looked like Shion’s character in Fourze, except instead of a headband, his front hair was pinned up.

So prior to the day I went, I’ve been reading reports for the first 2 events in Tokyo and apparently Ryuji was down with the cold? To which was pretty visible even for this day because he was still coughing quite a bit and even had to pause for a few sips of water at times ):

Some FAQs I’ve gotten from some friends (LOL)

Yes, his hands were indeed soft (people mentioned how warm they were but I think that might just be because he wasn’t feeling well? LOL I DON’T KNOW)

Yes, he was as beautiful up close as he is in pictures

Um... no unfortunately I wasn’t close enough to smell him (but other people apparently said he smelled nice? lol)

Yes, his skin was pika-pika but I wouldn’t say it was flawless :X

Yes, it was a blessing to witness that glorious, wide forehead in person

Yes, it was just like staring straight into the sun

Unfortunately I was too distracted and blinded by the person himself to notice whether he was wearing any earrings orzzz

Yes, he has my soul and he can gladly keep it I don’t know how I am still alive

And finally, no, I do not think he is as tall as people made him out to be sorry wwww (although, yes I am pretty short but I came up to his eyes/nose at least so xD)

(Some more personal notes lol otherwise you can stop reading here) You can really see/tell how patient he is with everyone during the handshake. I’ve seen reports of how he really looks at you and pays attention to what you have to say, and I can 100% vouch this is 100% true ww He was really gentle with the way he holds your hands too. And if you could, I really recommend reading users’ reports of their handshake segment because most of them were cute wwwww (in terms of Ryuji and the audience). It wasn’t anything special for my turn but it definitely was something I would remember and take to my grave xD Funny side story: 2 days before my trip (also the first day of Reception’s Tokyo event), I too had caught a cold and was worried as hell I’d somehow pass on my cold to him if I hadn’t healed on time. Once I read the reports that day I was all “WELP... NEVERMIND” LOL I ended up healing faster than he did though :’D

If you’re ever planning on going for one of these, really, my #1 advice is: know what you want to say and talk fast. I’m not even kidding, they’ll legit usher you away if you’re taking way too long :’DDD (also, it saves you the embarrassment of stuttering like an idiot so)

Below are the book covers I got :3

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to the underworld where he’s sent me _(:3

[azrielsiphons]

Shadows and Darkness: One and the Same (ch. 7)

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This fic is meant to be read in connection with my Azriel-centric prequel stories. I would highly suggest reading those first to get the full reading experience of this fic. 

Reblog! Like! Comment! Enjoy! 

“And so there you have it,” Lena said, slamming the now empty bottle of wine back on the table. She took in a deep breath, smiling at them all. “Questions?”

“You went to the queens’ palace?”

Lena blinked as everyone at the table whirled their gaze to Nesta, who was clearly waiting on an answer.

“Um — yes. Yes, I went to the queens’ palace,” Lena spluttered. “The King sent me there to placate them and—”

“So you could go back,” Nesta interrupted. “You could go to their palace, they would let you back in and we could kill all of them. Or you could go back to that King of yours, pretend to be loyal to him.”

In an even, low voice, Azriel said firmly, “She’s not going back there.”

Silence descended over the table.

“Nesta,” Feyre said finally, clearing her throat, “The mortal queens will die. As will the King. But we aren’t going to use Lena to do it.”

“On the contrary,” Lena jumped in, crossing her legs brazenly, “I will certainly be of use killing all of those bastards. I have plenty of useful information about Hybern and the queens. I can meet with Cassian tonight and—”

“Tomorrow,” Cassian said. “We’ll go over it tomorrow. You need to rest.”

Lena looked poised to object, but at the expression of pure concern on Cassian’s face she simply nodded and gave him a small, grateful smile.

“We’re calling a meeting between all of the High Lords,” Feyre said. Her eyes shot to Rhys at her side, whose eyes were glassy as he watched his little sister after hearing her harrowing story “We may need you and Nesta to provide testimony to our allies of what Hybern has done. What they’re capable of.”

At the exact same time, both Lena and Nesta said, “No.”

The two females looked at each other from across the table in surprise.

“You said earlier you were fine going to the Court of Nightmares with Amren to prepare for patching up the wall, but you won’t speak to people about—”

“We’re not whores selling out our stories, Feyre,” Lena snapped. Rhys seemed to finally snap out of whatever daze he was in at her tone. “I only told all of you everything I have been through because you are family and deserved to know. Well, three of you I only met today, but you’re family by association I suppose.” She gave a semi-apologetic glance to Lucien and Nesta while Amren only laughed darkly. “I’m not going to relive my trauma in front of the other High Lords to convince them to stop the King when they should do that out of common decency regardless.”

“And I’m not going to grovel to those High Lords who would have gladly killed me as a mortal to try and garner their sympathy,” Nesta added, her voice coated with much more venom than Lena’s.

“The High Lords may not believe our account—” Feyre tried to say.

“Then it is not my fault you are unreliable,” Nesta spat, standing to her feet. “I’ll help with the wall, but she is right,” she looked over to Lena who was silent, observing, “I am not going to whore out my story to everyone for you. And if you even dare suggest that to Elain, I will rip out your throat.”

Silence descended over the table, as Nesta met everyone’s eyes, extending the threat. When she met Lena’s though, she found curiosity and amusement written there. That only seemed to enrage Nesta further and she threw down her napkin and stormed out of the dining room.

Feyre sighed, leaning her head back against the chair.

“You know I think that went well,” Lena said after a few more moments of quiet. Everyone turned to look at her and she chuckled. “Although I am upset that I bore my soul to you all only to have the attention diverted from me so quickly.”

“Lena, you don’t have to tell the High Lords everything you just told us,” Feyre said quickly. “You can tell them the parts you’re comfortable sharing. Your story is more than enough to—”

“No,” Lena interrupted firmly. “It’s not. Feyre, the spell that the King convinced me to stay with wasn’t even real. Technically, I stayed of my own free will.”

“Helion will attest to your belief in it,” Mor jumped in. “You went to see him, he’ll vouch for you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Lena said, sighing heavily. “As soon as I start telling them all who I was and what the King made me do, they’ll want to kill me on sight. Everyone has heard stories about Hybern’s nameless, faceless weapon. I’ve killed innocents from every one of their Courts. Even if I told them everything, I would likely harm your cause more than help it. I’m sorry.” She looked over to Rhys. “I’m sorry, Rhys. If there’s another way, I’ll do it, just say the word. But if it’s any consolation, I sincerely doubt Nesta is actually opposed to telling them her story. When the time comes, she’ll do it.”

“Why do you say that?” Cassian asked.

“Because she’s decent. I mean, she’s certainly a bitch, that much is for sure.” Feyre growled, but Lena held up her hands. “I mean no disrespect. Everyone is entitled to being a bitch every now and then. People act the way they do for a reason and she has plenty I suppose. But beneath all of that bitchiness is someone that’s hurt. And hurt people are typically the ones who work the hardest to prevent others from being hurt. And she’s young — by both human and fae standards. She hasn’t learned how to manage her emotions, she doesn’t even know who she is at this point really. But she will do what she needs to do when the time comes.”

The ensuing silence was only broken as Lucien’s chair scrubbed against the floor when he stood up suddenly.

“I believe that you all likely have family business to discuss,” he said formally, albeit a bit awkwardly. Lena’s eyes widened as he said directly to her, “I am incredibly sorry for what you have been through.” He opened his mouth to say more, but then changed his mind and gave a weak smile before turning and leaving the room.

“He’s nice,” Lena said casually, sliding Cassian’s plate in front of her and picking through his leftovers.

“Lena.” Rhys’s voice was hoarse and thick with emotion. “I’m… I’m so sorry. You must know that if for a second I believed that you were—”

Lena grabbed Cassian’s fork and pointed it at her brother threateningly. “Rhysand I swear if you ever apologize to me for things beyond your control again I will shove this fork so far up your ass you will taste it. Nothing that happened to me was your fault. It was nobody’s fault but the King’s.”

“You know I actually do have a question,” Cassian said suddenly, folding his hands on the table and looking between Azriel and Lena. “How did you two manage to keep your relationship hidden from the rest of us for an entire month? Were you two hiding in broom closets or…?”

“Cassian,” Rhys groaned.

Lena only laughed and smirked over at Azriel, whose high cheekbones were flushed with pink. “I think I recall a broom closet or two,” she said with a wink.

“Why didn’t you tell us what she was to you, Az?” Mor asked, and the amusement around the table dropped instantly. “It’s been centuries and you were suffering alone.”

“It was my burden to bear,” he said simply. Lena looked away, the food in front of her suddenly much more interesting.

Rhys stood up suddenly, making half the table jump. “You,” he said, pointing to Azriel, “I need to speak with you in private.”

“Rhys—”

“No, Lena, it’s fine,” Azriel said gently, standing to his feet. Rhys leaned down and whispered something in Feyre’s ear as Azriel came around the table. He paused next to Lena’s seat and took a deep breath, thinking through his next words carefully. “If you’ll allow me, I will do whatever is in my power to help you heal. However you want me, I’m yours.”

Lena held her breath, nodding as she blinked quickly and forced herself to look away.

“Az,” Rhys snapped, drawing his brother’s attention. Azriel glanced down at Lena once more and resisted the urge to press his lips to her forehead before following Rhys out of the dining room.

~~~~~

“Rhys, I—”

“No,” Rhys snapped, whirling on Azriel as they stepped out onto the balcony on the opposite side of the House, as far from the dining room as they could get. “I am going to talk and you are going to listen. Do you understand?”

That’s all I’ve been doing this entire evening, Azriel thought to himself.

He nodded, mentally preparing himself for the worst.

Azriel and Rhys never fought. Rhys and Cassian, yes. Azriel and Cassian, certainly yes. But the Shadowsinger had had conflicting opinions and emotions with Rhys perhaps five or six times since they had known one another. They agreed on most things, and Azriel’s loyalty persevered to a fault sometimes.

But Azriel knew that this was different. This wasn’t just about he and Rhys — it was about Lena. Rhys’s sister, the little girl they had all taken care of as young males. Rhys had been a father to her in ways that Aeron never had been. She was his world and he had thought her dead for centuries. Only to have her return and find out her heart had been given to his best friend — his brother in every way but blood.

Azriel couldn’t imagine what Rhys was feeling. And he felt that ever present guilt and shame within him growing more and more as Rhys ran a trembling hand through his hair and stared at him with a rare expression of vulnerability.

“You’re my brother,” Rhys said simply. “You became my brother the day my mother brought you into our home. You know that Cassian and I claimed you that very day, don’t you?”

Azriel nodded, trying to control his shadows from curling in on him.

“And Lena… she’s my sister. My sister, Azriel. She’s — dammit Az, you know. You know, she’s Lena for Cauldron’s sake.”

Azriel was silent as Rhys began to pace. He hadn’t seen his brother this erratic since he had become High Lord.

Laughing humorlessly, Rhys placed his palms on the balcony ledge, shaking his head as he looked out over the city.

“I used to dream that she was still alive. Of what life here might be like. I would certainly be a better High Lord — if I were High Lord at all.” He looked over his shoulder then and Azriel felt like he had been punched in the gut at the sheer emotion in Rhys’s gaze. “You know two days before she was taken, right before you two ran off to that cabin we never knew about… you told me something. You told me that I needed to start being her brother instead of trying to father her the way that Aeron never had. And you were right, Az. I needed to just be her brother for once, and I wanted to. But I never got the chance because I thought she was dead.”

Azriel flinched. “I’m sorry—”

“My world died, Azriel,” Rhys trudged on, stalking right up to the Shadowsinger. “My world died right alongside my mother and sister, and the only way I kept going was because of all of you. You, Cassian, and Mor. You kept me alive because you knew the grief that I was going through, I let you all see my pain. And because of that you knew how to help me, how to keep me going. So why the hell didn’t you let us do the same for you?”

Azriel blinked. “What?”

Rhys scoffed, reaching forward suddenly and grabbing Azriel by the shoulders and embracing him tightly. Azriel tensed, afraid that perhaps he was going to be misted any second, but when he realized that Rhys was only hugging him, he cautiously returned the gesture.

Rhys pulled away and shook his head in weak amusement. “Az, you’re one of the most intelligent people I know and you are an idiot. You’re my best friend and I trust you with not only my life, but my mate’s life and the well-being of my Court. And there is no one — no one better suited for my sister.”

Azriel’s breath hitched. “But before, you clearly were upset about us.”

“I was hurt, I’m not ashamed to admit it.” Rhys shrugged. “The thought of you with her is… still strange. It will take getting used to. And I suppose that I — I’m selfish enough that I wished I had been the person she was most happy to be coming back to.”

Azriel looked away. “You’re still her brother, Rhys. She would choose you over me in a heartbeat.”

“No, no she wouldn’t,” Rhys said with a weak smile. “It’s different with a mate. If it were between you and me, she would sacrifice herself on the slightest chance of saving both of us. You’ll understand as things... progress.”

Azriel chuckled, running a hand through his messy hair. “I don’t know how you did it, Rhys. With Feyre, when she was in the Spring Court — both times. The moment I saw Lena last night, and felt the bond, it just—”

“Changed your whole world,” Rhys finished. Azriel loosed a breath, nodding. “I know. Which is why I know you’ll never hurt her.”

Azriel shook his head. “Never.”

Rhys smiled, his shoulders relaxing. “You know, when she was younger I always thought that she would end up with Cassian.”

Azriel’s nostrils flared and he cursed as Rhys laughed at him. A heartbeat later Azriel was lunging, grabbing Rhys in a headlock. Rhys only laughed harder, but they both went silent when they heard a slightly amused voice call out —

“It’s been five hundred years and you morons still act like twelve year olds.”

The two males stood up immediately and for a moment they both felt like they had been transported to the Illyrian camps as teenagers once again, being scolded by Wren for wrestling in the house.

But it wasn’t Wren scolding them. It was Lena, standing next to Cassian, the pair of them staring in amusement. Cassian was trying hard not to laugh while Lena had her arms crossed and a neat eyebrow raised.

“Are you two done?” She asked. “Or should I give you guys a moment to make out?”

“Did you hear that, Lena?” Cassian said. “Rhys thought we would have been a couple. We would have been the most attractive pair in all of Prythian.”

“And Hybern,” Lena pointed out. “I can attest that all of those Hybern fae are ugly inside and out.”

“Alas, we would have been too beautiful together,” Cassian continued. “The Cauldron knew that you, being a 10, needed an 8 to keep the balance and not overwhelm all the poor 7 and unders of the world.”

“I think it’s safe to say I’m a 9,” Azriel said drily, eyes narrowing at Cassian, who only laughed.

“9.8,” Lena said quickly. Azriel snapped his gaze to her and she grinned wickedly.

“Well this 10 is going to give you two some privacy,” Rhys said suddenly, turning to Lena. “The 6 and I will meet with you tomorrow morning to discuss what you know about Hybern’s armies.”

“6?” Cassian cried indignantly.

“Actually,” Lena said, hesitating just slightly, “I was wondering if I could talk to you tonight, Rhys. About some other things. Meet me on the roof in half an hour?” Rhys’s eyes widened. “I mean, it’s okay if you can’t. I’m sure with Feyre back you two probably want to just be alone together, but—”

“No, no,” Rhys said quickly. “I can be on the roof. Half an hour.”

Lena smiled. “Okay. I’ll see you then.”

Cassian grumbled something under his breath about not being a 6 as he gave Lena a quick hug before snapping his wings wide and taking off into the sky. Rhys rolled his eyes and embraced her tightly and clapped Azriel on the shoulder before following after Cassian into the night.

Lena chuckled as she watched the pair began to race down to the city. As they left her line of sight though, she became acutely aware of Azriel’s presence behind her. With a deep breath, she willed herself to turn and face him.

And it struck her all over again. Her Azriel — her mate. Finally together again. She swallowed back her fear that she felt ashamed of even feeling.

“I really don’t want to cry,” she said suddenly. “I’ve cried enough and it is really annoying me at this point so we can just agree to no tears?”

Azriel chuckled, looking down at his feet as he put his hands in his pockets. He hoped she couldn’t tell that it was to keep from reaching out and touching her.

“I think I can do that,” he said with a small smile that cut straight to Lena’s heart. How she had missed that smile.

Lena cleared her throat, hopping up on the balcony ledge and swinging her legs. Azriel couldn’t help but grin at the familiar sight.

“So,” she said, biting her lip and looking up at him. “Rhys is alright with… everything?”

Azriel nodded. “He seemed to be.”

“Good, good. That’s good,” Lena stammered.

Azriel watched in awe as the moonlight reflected off the dark tones of her hair making it look almost blue. The sheer fabric of her dress swished around her legs as she continued to swing her feet. She had taken off her heels at some point and he wanted to laugh — she had always hated heels, but loved the intimidation factor of walking into a room and having everyone be quiet as the shoes clacked on the floor.

“So that was… a lot,” she spoke again, snapping Azriel out of his reverie. “In there. The whole story, I mean.”

Azriel froze. His shadows stilled as he took in the female in front of him — the powerful, strong female that he would die for in a heartbeat but much preferred to live for.

“Lena, you are… incredible,” he said, the words coming out of him as if of their own volition, as if his heart couldn’t fathom not saying them. She cocked her head to the side. “You’re incredible.”

“I’m… Azriel, how can you even say that?” She asked incredulously. “You just found out that I’ve been working for the King of Hybern for the last 500 years and didn’t so much as try to write a note and let you know that I was alive. I never told you we were mates even though I’ve known since my twentieth birthday — that was two years before I was taken.”

“You worked for the King because you thought you were protecting me,” Azriel said quickly. He took a step closer to her. “You did all of those things for me, for all of us. Do I wish you had told me we were mates? Of course. But it doesn’t matter. Because I fell in love with you all the same.” He took yet another step closer, pausing when he heard her breath hitch. “You saved my life, Lena. You risked everything to save me when I was in the Middle and I didn’t even know it was you.”

“I killed your friend,” Lena cried out. “Breen, that was his name, wasn’t it? That’s whose name you said when you tried to kill me out on the ice.” Azriel flinched. “I killed the very creature I asked to save you, and I let them throw that faebane in your face to begin with!”

“You,” Azriel said, surging forward and capturing Lena’s face gently between his hands, “have been to hell and back thousands of times over and you did it all for us. You are absolutely and utterly incredible, Lena. You’re remarkable. And so unbelievably strong. And I know you don’t believe it yet but I do. And that will just have to be enough for now until I can show you how wonderful you are.”

Lena inhaled sharply, her eyes firmly trained on Azriel’s. A single tear slipped from her eye and she cursed.

Azriel chuckled, swiping his thumb over the tear with the utmost gentleness. “Sorry. I know you didn’t want to cry.”

“I wish I could say I was surprised,” she muttered, rolling her eyes.

Azriel smiled down at her and then paused, taking note of the way he stood between her legs, their chests barely inches apart. Lena must have realized it at the same time he did and the air shifted as the tension rose between them. With a small clear of his throat, Azriel dropped his hands and took a single step backwards.

Lena took a deep breath, straightening out the bottom of her dress as she pressed her legs together.

Azriel put one hand in his pocket and lifted the other to scratch the back of his head, looking down at his feet. He snapped his gaze back up when he heard Lena chuckling.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” she said with a shake of her head. “It’s just… the way that the dreams worked, they played off my actual memories. And Rydan, he used to do that all the time. That same stance of yours, one hand in his pocket and the other scratching his head. I must have always noticed the way you did that.”

Azriel went very still, lowering his hand slowly.

“I know it sounds so ridiculous,” Lena murmured, unable to meet his gaze. “That I could miss someone that wasn’t even real. It’s just that… I remember it so clearly. The way he moved around in my womb. Giving birth to him — Cauldron, it hurt so bad I broke three bones in your poor hand and two in Rhys’s. I remember nursing him and holding him. His first words were ‘Uncle Cass,’ which we never lived down and Rhys was very jealous of. I just…” She looked up then and saw the devastated expression on Azriel’s face. “I’m sorry, you probably think that I’m delusional, I—”

“No,” Azriel said firmly. Lena’s eyebrows shot up at the intensity in his voice. “I don’t think that, not for one second. It doesn’t matter if he was real by everyone else’s standards. If he’s real in your heart, then he’s real.”

Lena swallowed thickly, blinking away more tears. “Thank you. And I know that this is sick and kind of twisted, but… I wish you could know him. Real you, not — not dream you.”

Azriel smiled sadly, trying his best to keep his utter grief from showing on his face. The knowledge that Lena had experienced the life he had always wanted for them — and it had been a form of torture — wrecked him. The knowledge that she had a son with him, she had his child, and he would never know them… it felt like he needed to mourn alongside her.

“Maybe one day I can,” he said softly. Lena looked at him incredulously. “I mean whenever you’re ready, perhaps… perhaps you can show me. In here.” He tapped the side of his temple. “Only when you’re ready though.”

Lena’s eyes lit up and slowly, ever so slowly, her lips turned up in the brightest smile Azriel had seen in centuries.

“Really?” She asked softly. “Maybe — maybe after all of this is over? After we kill the King and fix the wall and things are hopefully back to normal?”

Azriel swore to himself right then and there that he would fight harder against Hybern than he had fought in anything before if only to give Lena that sense of safety and normalcy she clearly longed for.

“Of course,” he choked out. “Of course.” Lena smiled even wider, looking away when his gaze became too intense. “And Lena, I… I want you to know that I meant what I said before. However you want me, I’m yours. As a mate, a lover, a friend… I’m yours. I know that the bond is there for both of us now and I will always love you with my entire soul—” Lena inhaled sharply— “but I will be yours in whatever way is best for you to heal. There are no expectations. You tell me what you need, and I will give it to you.”

Lena bit her lip as it trembled and Azriel could practically hear the way she was undoubtedly cursing herself for almost crying again.

“How about,” she began, forcing her voice to be even, “we take it slow. One day at a time. We still have a war to fight and I know it’s going to take some getting used to for everyone that I’m back, so… why don’t we just figure it out as we go? No expectations.”

Azriel loosed a breath. That wasn’t a rejection. Even if it had been, he would have stepped away, but the pain would have been… unfathomable.

“No expectations,” he agreed. “So are we friends?”

Lena laughed suddenly and the sound had Azriel grinning. “Az I think we both know that ‘friends’ has always been too small a word for you and I. We’re still… us.” A thoughtful expression came over her then and she smiled softly. “Remember the bridge?”

“Of course,” Azriel said instantly.

“Well I still see you,” she said. Azriel’s heart stuttered in his chest as she repeated those words from so long ago to him. “Do you still see me?”

“Always,” he said hoarsely. “Always.”

~~~~~

“You’re late.”

Lena rolled her eyes as she flipped herself over the edge of the rooftop and landed in an easy crouch, glaring at her brother as he only smirked. She still couldn’t quite get over how much older he looked and yet… he was still the exact same. It was strange. She couldn’t imagine how he felt seeing her — the age in her eyes and the scar on her face.

“I had to change,” she said simply, walking over and plopping down next to him so that their feet dangled off the edge. Indeed, she had changed out of her dress into pants and a loose sweater that Rhys was fairly certain she had stolen from their mother’s old room.

“You didn’t fly up here,” Rhys observed, his voice too even to be casual. Lena kept her eyes forward. “And you pitched a fit when Cassian offered to fly you up here this morning.”

“I did not pitch a fit.”

“Oh it was a fit.”

“Well I was a bit on edge after having my mind assaulted by the King and almost destroying my own city,” Lena snapped. Rhys had nothing to say to that. “Sorry, that was… unnecessary. It’s been a long day.”

“It’s been a long life,” Rhys said softly. Lena turned her head to look at him. His shoulders sagged and she could almost see the burden weighing upon them. The burden she was supposed to have been there to help him with all these centuries.

Not knowing what she could say to possibly convey her emotions, Lena scooted next to Rhys until they were knee-to-knee. He looked down at her curiously, but she only drew her legs up in a criss-cross and stated matter-of-factly, “You are a damn good High Lord, Rhys.”

Rhys started, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “What?”

“You heard me,” she said. “Look at this.” She gestured to the city below them. “This city is radiating more life and joy than it ever did when our father was High Lord. I walked around the city today before the dinner, staying hidden so people didn’t think they were seeing a ghost. The people though, the way they talk about you… they love you. You are an amazing leader, Rhys.”

“You would have been better,” he said softly. “You were the one that was made for this. If you had been there when Father died, the power would have transferred to you and maybe—”

“But it didn’t,” Lena said firmly. “Rhys it went to you for a reason.”

“It went to me because you were kidnapped.”

“No it went to you because this city needed you. This Court needed you. It needed a dreamer who still chose to dream in spite of their grief. It needed someone willing to sacrifice everything for years to protect their people.”

“You did that, too.”

“No, I didn’t,” Lena said. “I sacrificed everything because of only a few people. Make no mistake Rhys, I don’t know how to consider the greater good when my family is on the line. You do.”

Rhys had nothing to say to that.

“And that’s why you’re High Lord,” Lena continued. “And why I have utter faith in Feyre as High Lady now.”

“I wish that—” Rhys hesitated, but Lena gave him a look to go on. “I love Feyre, and I don’t regret making her High Lady for one second. But if I had known you were still alive, that you would be coming back to us, maybe… maybe I would have waited. For you to come back and take the title.”

Lena chuckled, shaking her head as she looked over the city. “No, you made the right choice with Feyre. Perhaps who I was before was suited to be a leader, but not who I am now.” She looked back at Rhys. “You and Feyre are exactly what this city and Court need. And what Prythian needs, too. It’s not about sheer power. It’s about leadership and heart, something the two of you have in a way I could never match.”

Rhys smiled thoughtfully. “Thank you,” he said. “Though if it were about sheer power, you would definitely have us beat, as much as I hate to say that.”

Lena threw her head back as she laughed. “Well believe me, if I could give all my power to you I would. It’s not nearly as fun as it sounds.”

“Did you really turn invisible back there?” Rhys asked in wonder. “When you showed up to the dinner?”

Lena chuckled. “Yeah, I learned that about 200 years ago on accident. If you work with the darkness in reverse, you can actually manipulate the light waves around you and within you. It’s difficult, but it makes for a hell of a dramatic entrance.”

“I do love a dramatic entrance,” Rhys said wistfully.

“It must run in the family.”

The two laughed together, a comfortable silence enveloping them shortly thereafter.

“You know when I first saw you,” Rhys finally said, “when I came into that healing room and saw you there on that bed… And I realized it was actually you, I felt like everything was just right again. Despite the war, despite the King, despite all of it, it was right. I had my mate, I had my Circle, my city was safe again, and you were back. You were alive. It was all right again.” He turned and met Lena’s eyes. “And then you had to go and be my best friend’s mate.”

Lena scoffed. “What does that change about anything?”

“It means you’re not just my sister anymore,” Rhys said. “You’re my sister, but you’re also Azriel’s mate. You’re still you, your identity isn’t defined by him, but… it means I have to share you.”

“Well I have to share you with Feyre now,” Lena pointed out.

Rhys tilted his head. “True.”

“Who’d have though we would ever end up here? You’re High Lord, we’re fighting a war together, we’re both mated. Well, you’re mated. I technically just have a mate.”

“What’re you planning on doing about that by the way?” Rhys asked.

“What?”

“Do you plan on being with him? You love him, he loves you, the bond is there… So what are you going to do about it?”

“You mean am I going to wear a pretty dress and have a party where I hand Azriel a piece of bread like a servant girl and let him haul me off like a brute with a new prize cattle?”

Rhys rolled his eyes. “You know it’s not like that.”

“Might as well be,” Lena muttered.

“Seriously.” Rhys nudged her shoulder with his own until she looked at him. “What are you going to do?”

Lena sighed heavily. “I don’t know,” she finally said. “I really don’t. I know that I love him — I always have and I always will, but I’m — I'm not the person he fell in love with anymore. The female he loved died 500 years ago and now I don't really know who I am anymore. And I think I need to figure that out before asking him to make such a commitment to me.”

Rhys was quiet for a moment. “You know that we might not have all that much time,” he said softly.

Lena gave him a weak smile. “I know.”

Rhys only nodded, trusting her decision. “Well as long as you two aren’t hiding in any more broom closets, I’m alright with whatever you decide to do.”

Lena cackled. “You know we hid in your room one time. He had me pressed against your dresser when he did this thing with his tongue on my neck and—”

Lena squealed as Rhys grabbed her by the shoulders and mussed up her hair, trying to cover her mouth with his hand.

Real life and hard choices awaited them tomorrow. But that night, the two heirs of the Night Court were able to simply be brother and sister the way they had always wanted.

Beyond the Cauldron, somewhere in another world perhaps, they both hoped that Wren was smiling down upon them.

[zenonaa]

Umm for that affection meme if your doing it SonSouDam andd Number 26? I also think your great

Sonia flung open the infirmary door and rushed in. Just like Mikan claimed back in the storage room, Gundam was sitting on a stretcher and sporting a black eye. From the side, someone could have mistaken it for a tinge cast by a lack of sleep. Indeed, Kazuichi once simultaneously complained and bragged about oiling Gundam’s hamsters’ wheels in the dorm room that the two guys shared so they wouldn’t screech anymore. Kazuichi could also vouch for the nights that Gundam spent somewhere else doing ‘something sad, probably’ that Sonia knew first-hand to be checking to make sure that the hedgehogs living on the grounds of Hope’s Peak were eating enough, or whether any other animals showed up to the bowls that he had left around the school so he could accommodate them too.

However, when Gundam turned to the door instinctively upon hearing it open, the asymmetricity on his pasty face around the eye area, not caused by the scar that Hiyoko insisted was just a tattoo, dispelled the chance that he might have just not been sleeping recently. It was clearly a black eye.

“Tanaka-san!” Sonia cried out, standing in front of him. Her eyes flickered as she took in his hunched form. His clothes were creased and dirty in places, but otherwise he didn’t seem too injured.

He winced. “Have you swapped bodies with the songful one? Did her demonic chants cast a curse on you both?”

“Pardon?” Sonia asked, wide-eyed.

“Calm yourself, or do you seek to damage my ears?” he explained with a grimace.

She lightly covered her mouth with one hand. “I apologise for my volume. Please, tell me what happened. Your eye…”

Gundam’s forehead wrinkled.

“It is but a mortal wound, she-cat. Superficial damage that I will heal easily from.”

“But what happened?” she asked, waving her fists around in front of her. “I asked Tsumiki-san if she had seen you, and she informed me that you were here so I came as fast as I could.”

“You needn’t have troubled yourself,” he replied. He hesitated and then added, “There was a textbook that I wished to borrow from the library, but the library in this part of the school did not currently house it. However, there was a copy available in another area of the school…”

Sonia tensed. “The one for the Reserve Course students…?”

Gundam nodded once. “It was on my way back that I had the fateful encounter… The divas tried to come to my aid, but how can one fend off those with no souls? They cannot be defeated unless their heads are sliced off. Nay, if the emotional one hadn’t come to my aid…”

He trailed off, eyes averted.

She slipped a hand to her cheek. “You mean Tsumiki-san saved you…?”

The image of Mikan swinging a sword around came to mind.

“Incorrect.” Gundam turned his head to one side. “The one I am referring to is the one who shares my abode.”

“Souda-san?” she said, eyebrows shooting up.

“Yes. Though he claimed to only be there because he suspected me of unspeakable,” lewd, “acts, he nevertheless jumped out and tried to fend them off while I was on the ground, recharging my aura.”

Sonia tilted her head to one side. For the first time ever, she asked, “Where is Souda-san?”

“After the foes tired of him, he fled in the direction of his room.”

“You mean he was injured too?”

“Worse than me.”

She hesitated. “Perhaps… we should thank him.”

Another first time.

Gundam nodded and stood up, and the pair set off for the guys’ dormitories in a thankfully peaceful trip. Once there, Sonia rapped her knuckles on their door. Doing so was unnecessary, as Gundam had a key to his room, but Sonia didn’t want to barge in on Kazuichi in case he was doing something private like practicing swears.

“I’m not in!” came Kazuichi’s voice, cracking somewhere beyond the other side of the door.

“Please allow us entrance,” she said.

Footsteps thumped and the door opened soon after. For a moment, they were greeted by Kazuichi’s bright face, bright enough that for a few seconds, neither noticed his cut lip, scratched cheek and the pink blotches littering his features, but then he noticed that Sonia wasn’t alone and he let his face fall into a scowl.

“What is it?” he asked, showing off a bloody gumline.

“Have you been to see Tsumiki-san?” said Sonia. “You are in a worse state than Tanaka-san.”

“Nah.” He dusted his chest with his knuckles. “This is nothin’. I’ve been in fistfights before…”

Kazuichi perked up.

“Why? Are you concerned, Sonia-san?”

“I insist that you get medical treatment, Souda-san,” she said. “What you did was very brave but also reckless… I was under the impression that you couldn’t stand Tanaka-san, yet you threw yourself in harm’s way for his sake.”

“That’s just the kind of guy that I am,” said Kazuichi, slapping on a smirk. “I can’t stand seeing those weaker than me get picked on… It wasn’t even a fair fight, y’know? Tanaka did jack shit to defend himself.”

Judging by Kazuichi’s current state, the fight hadn’t been fair with him involved either. Sonia wondered if Kazuichi’s rare act of selflessness was just an attempt to impress her somehow, or if it came from the fact that Kazuichi had once been one of those weaker people, if he wasn’t one right now.

“I will take you both to the infirmary,” she announced, and she didn’t just hold Gundam’s bandaged hand but took hold of Kazuichi’s sweaty one too.

[firstinhealth]

Secrets of Natural Health by Smita Naram! #naturalhealth #ayurveda #secretsofnaturalhealth #smitanaram #kathleentopliss #ayushakti #mumbai #worldrenowned #karinmcmahon #damonbaragwanath #firstinhealthpersonaltrainingandintegrativehealthconsultancy #WaihekeIsland #Auckland #NewZealand Would you like the opportunity to learn, understand and master Natural Health? Specifically, a system that is thousands of years old. And one that modern medicine is now beginning to acknowledge its extraordinary benefits...then, welcome to Ayurveda (The Science of Life)! Personally I can vouch, in fact swear by the remarkable benefits of Ayurveda. And this inspiration is thanks to my friends, Smita and Pankaj Naram (also my friend kathleen topliss based in Queenstown NZ) from Mumbai at the Ayushakti Clinic. Both of whom are not only highly qualified Vaidia (Ayurvedic doctors), but also remarkable humanitarians traveling the world to educate and heal thousands of people every year. Further, it was my experience with the Narams inaugural visit to Queenstown approx 13-years ago that I found a philosophy of health that truly worked in complete harmony and rhythm with my body, mind and spirit. The key is to first establish your Dosha type (the 3 primary Doshas = Vata, Pitta and Kapha) Only then can you begin to establish some equilibrium in your Microcosm (mind, body, spirit and soul) which is influenced by the Macrocosm (the world around us) and the Cosmos. Personally my health has leaped forward at a quantum level. Literally, having more energy now than what I know to do with. ★Attention - News Flash! The Ayushakti Doctors are coming to New Zealand later in the year and will conduct clinics including pulse reading throughout the main centers. And I'll update you on the details when they come to hand. Take care now and I wish you abundant good health, peace, love and joy! Namaste - Damon

[dumpsterfireposts]

So I did a thing, I did my best.

I have never really been into the cosplay scene to be honest. I'm too fat, too busy, roo poor, too ugly. I don't really bother with it for all these reasons. It has been a dream on mine, one day, but I have such high standards that I doubt it will ever happen.

What I AM really into is the contact lenses and circle lenses scene. As someone who has a serious mental disconnect from how I look to how I see myself, I have taken up some pretty peculiar hobbies. I bleach, cut and dye my own hair very often and I never leave the house with a set of coloured circle and/or contact lenses in my eyes.

My personal go-to for lenses for the last 3 years has been Pinkyparadise. Situated in Malaysia, their lenses are amazing at covering dark eyes like mine. I have been able to wear bright grey, blue and green lenses and people have thought they were real. They cover over my natural irises beautifully. Some more than others of course.

Rules of thumb when finding coloured lenses to drastically change your own is look for colour breaks. Like how a tattoo with skin breaks will not only look better once healed and last longer, but contact lenses with colour breaks will blend with your natural colour well enough to give your eyes a natural effect. The shade of the colour as well as the style of breaks will greatly determine if the lenses will look natural at any distance, but if someone is literally breathing in your face, you won't be able to hide them.

Another nice thing about pinky paradise is so many of their lenses are prescription. I have very, VERY bad eyes. I can only see about 7" in front of my face and my contact prescription sits around -6. I am able to not only wear whatever colour I want and look how I wish, but I can also see! For people who need glasses (especially really heavy duty thick ones), these are a godsend.

When ordering lenses, highly recommend NOT going by the model photos. Definitely look at them, of course, but also know these images are touched up. I will tell you that if you want a realistic idea of how these lenses will look on your eyes, look at the customer photos. Lots of people tag and post their own images of what the lenses look like on their eyes. After that it is just a matter of finding someone else with an eye colour comparable to yours.

Now that I have basically laid out my credentials and knowledge that I actually do possess, let me get to the base of the post.

My friend and I recently thought about what if we or someone were to cosplay as Markus from Detroit. His eyes are very unique and I wanted to take on the challenge of finding lenses that could be passable in replicating his shade of eyes.

And friends, I did the work for you.

For people looking for pre-shot-in-the-face Markus, Princess Pinky's GEMINI NIGHT BLUE will actually get that pale greenish hue.

It really will depend on the eye colour you naturally possess, but Brown eyes tend to turn this blue lense a bit greenish. It is actually very difficult to get a lense like this since green lenses will tend to "yellow out" over Brown.

Granted it may not be the PERFECT match. But it does work very well. If you are still hesitant over the differing colour however, the GEMINI NIGHT GREEN is also great, but it does also have a much more saturated green look in certain lighting. Both work well enough, however.

If you want that sweet sweet heterochromia, you're still going to need this lense. Like I said, it really is the best match I have found.

For the blue eye Markus salvaged, it is MUCH harder to match. Blue lenses tend to darken over Brown, and if you do find one that remains blue it is not the best shade.

Personally, these are the ones I would recommend, but they definitely look best at a distance and on DARK eyes.

This lense still looks blue over very dark brown, however if in direct and bright light, it is not a very natural look. The inner circle is very distinct and will stand out starkly in btilliant light. It will pass for photo shoots and if you are just really struggling for a blue eye, but I'm not the most satisfied with it. Honestly, however, this is the one I would recommend. It looks blue, it covers dark eyes well.

If you just want a blue eye that is distinctly blue, here you go. I personally do not recommend this lense at all for Markus. The lenses looks a bit more turquoise than blue with the yellow blending colour at the pupil. It will definitely make your eyes look blue though.

If you're really desperate and just looking for a blue contact lense, I swear my soul on the Super Blue. It is a true circle lense, being 15mm in diameter and it will be difficult to match with other lenses because of this. It is saturated, comfortable with natural colour breaks and they last a very long time. I had my pair for over a year because I would sooner have my eyes fall out than actually spend money, but that is just me.

So some easy links to lenses from a company I can personally vouch for. They are FDA approved but if you need prescriptions, you will need a copy of said prescription as proof. Why? FDA. When I first started buying lenses they were just put in your prescription and check out, then they were banned for several months by the FDA and now require proof of prescription. It is a pain in the ass but these lenses are really nice.