#healingchonicillness

[nightsongalchemy]

Nothing could have prepared me for this… Nothing could’ve prepared for me for the amount of trauma and fighting I would have had to endure over the past three years of my life fighting chronic illness and conditions. Although there have been so many happy memories since my health crisis in June of 2017, the amount of tears I’ve cried could easily fill an ocean.

I’ve seen between thirty and forty doctors over the past three years. One doctor diagnosed Lyme, another diagnosed Fibromyalgia, another said Intestinal Permeability Syndrome, yet another said Gittleman’s Syndrome, a few had different diagnoses, but most either had absolutely no idea what was going on. One said it was genetics so I would be stuck this way for the rest of my life. Another conventional doctor even told me it was all idiopathic! I was shamed by three different doctors when I wanted to get the #MirenaIUD removed which was directly related to all of the problems I was having. It took my own perseverance, research, and self diagnosing with the help of Anthony William’s, the Medical Medium, information to take on the chaos that was my health.

Summer of 2017 my body went into a health crisis. Since then, my days have been spent surviving the fallout of an extremely aggressive late-stage Epstein-Barr Virus, heavy metal toxicity, low-grade streptococcus, and a severe reaction to the Mirena IUD. My immune system was broken, hormones imbalanced, and my body was starved of glucose due to a doctor prescribed ketogenic diet.

My symptoms included seizures, dementia, memory loss, chronic brain fog, compromised immune system, muscle weakness and numbness, chronic fatigue, nerve spasms/twitching, cramps through hands and feet, confusion, hallucinations, disorientation, mood swings, diminished cognitive function, inability to think or accomplish simple tasks, irrational thoughts and personality changes, crying spells, severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks, dizziness, vertigo, slurred speech and stuttering, migraines, inner ear pain, tinnitus, heart palpitations, TMJ, nausea, chronic pain all over, un-healing arm/hand tendon injuries, un-healing knee injuries, un-healing pinched/injured nerves, hair loss, acne, rosacea, sensitivity to light, disordered eating, loss of perception of passing time, extremely painful periods (endometriosis), PMS, constantly getting the cold/flu/sinus infections, systemic allergy attacks, digestive disorders, constant bloating, constant belching, intestinal cramps/spasms, low hydrophilic acid, eye floaters, light and sound sensitivity, weight gain, insatiable hunger, sluggish liver, food and chemical sensitivities, night terrors, and edema. Then, after a couple years being beaten down and fighting - PTSD.

Good news is that a lot of these symptoms have disappeared, bad news is I still fight most of these symptoms every day just to a much lesser degree. It’s been a long road and a roller coaster since I started the Medical Medium protocols August of 2017 wherein the symptoms would constantly take three steps forward and two steps back. Enduring the symptoms, detoxing, and the viral flare-ups have been beyond a traumatizing nightmare. Traveling long distances as a passenger in a car is a ride of vertigo and vestibular seizures. Pain in general, pain from old endometriosis surgeries gone wrong that never healed properly, repetitive injury pain, and too much stress often trigger seizures as well. I have good days and I have bad days. Some days I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. If you see me and I look fine, I’m most likely doing everything in my power to hide the pain, suffering, and trauma.

However, the most disheartening trauma that has come of all of this - after almost three years of fighting and working through the pain from the tendinosis in both arms, pinched nerve in the left elbow, and the injured thumb tendon/joint on my right hand - I have been forced to stop tattooing, drawing, painting, playing the harp, and most computer work entirely until I heal the injuries. Most of my correspondences, including this one, are talk to text. I can’t spend a lot of time in front of a keyboard and I can barely hold a pencil. This has been devastating. This whole update has taken weeks to fully write out with my limited abilities.

Working consistently with an occupational/physical therapist for the past four months, I’m refusing to give up. Even as I write this, I feel fire and positivity running through my veins. With a smile on my face I will rise from the ashes, and I will continue to work as hard as I can through diet, supplements, gentle exercise, heat/ice, stretches, acupuncture, chiropractic, and massage until my injuries are fully healed and my health is fully restored. I will continue to be the artist and musician I was always meant to be. It all comes down to a matter… of time.

Until then, my tattoo and illustration books need to remain closed until the tendon injuries heal. I’m so very sorry to all of you beautiful clients waiting to get your tattoos started or finished. It breaks my heart everyday. I’m sorry to all of you who are waiting patiently for your illustration commissions as well. I’m so very sorry for all of this. For those of you who still have appointments scheduled, I’m still playing it day by day until I’m cleared by my physical therapist, so I’ll continue to be in touch about rescheduling. Martin Velez Human, the tattoo artist I’ve been working with at Gypsy Moon Custom Tattoo, has been a God sent while my injuries have been healing! If you’re looking to get a tattoo in the near future, please send me a message and I’ll set you up with a consultation with him.

By the grace of God, I’m still continuing to make music with my band, Sweet Maple Singers. Although for the time being I cannot play the harp, I will keep singing my heart out. I’ve taken this time to receive vocal training and work hard with my beautiful fiancé and bandmate, Robbie Mann, to strengthen our vocal performance, harmonies, and arrangements to give all of you the best show we can. Being able to sing and make music with him and Ryan Cramer the past few weeks has given me new hope and the drive to keep on fighting for my life. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you two.

Thank you to all my incredible friends, family, clientele and future clients for all of your unwavering patience, understanding, support, and love. I don’t know what I did to be so blessed. If you can spare a little prayer for speedy healing and recovery it would mean the world to me. For those of you suffering with chronic symptoms or conditions - please don’t give up and know you’re not alone. Take it one day at a time, have compassion for yourselves, and know you will heal. I love all of you so much, and may your day be blessed with enchantment and magick!

Love your elven bard,
Jasper✨🧝🏻‍♀️🌙✨

#keepsmiling #nevergiveup #risingfromtheashes #medicalmedium #medicalmediumprotocols #healingchronicillness #healthwarrior
(at Gypsy Moon Custom Tattoo) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8rXcZOHPY1/?igshid=14v8krjy6zhxi

[nightsongalchemy]

Wow! It’s been a long time since I’ve done any sort of health update. I actually started to write this post *months* ago, but honestly between all the ups and downs of life, I was either too busy, depressed, or chronically ill to be up for sharing. Roller coaster! Whoo!🎢

Catching Covid last year for three and half months really set me back health wise, as it has for a lot of our chronically ill friends. With severe allergies and a sinus/ear/throat infection immediately following; I developed damage in my throat. Talking and singing became VERY painful. After playing a couple of gigs last summer that ended in tears from the amount of pain I was enduring, I was forced to stop singing for awhile. 😔

After ANOTHER sinus/ear/throat infection that followed yet another bad allergy attack then in September - I broke. I couldn’t speak at all for about three weeks. Unfortunately, this second infection made the issues in my throat SO MUCH WORSE. Talking on a regular basis became unbearably painful without even bringing singing into the mix. The damage was now set up to be long term… 😞

After all of this, I sank into yet another dark depression. Singing was the only creative passion I had left after my disabilities wouldn’t allow me to do all the other things I love; playing the harp, tattooing, drawing, or painting on any kind of consistent bases. Many evenings and nights I wished I had a friend who could hold and cuddle me tenderly saying things like, “This is so fucked up, and this isn’t fair. You don’t deserve any of this you poor, sweet girl.” 😞

Shortly after, one of the many hands surgeons I’ve seen over the years ordered an MRI for my thumb after telling me surgery wasn’t going to be an option for my tendinitis. “I’m afraid it's going to make it worse.” He couldn’t offer any sort of answer or hope for the situation. “At least we can see if we’re missing anything with your thumb.” 🙁

The MRI was a nightmare... I came out of it with my arm practically twisted and ripped out of its socket while enduring multiple seizures due to the excruciating pain. (Pain that had nothing to do with my hand!?) It’s been eight months since that MRI, and I’m still suffering with pain under my right shoulder blade and socket. When its flared up I’ll get nerve pain that runs down my arm into my fingers. About a week ago I was diagnosed with bursitis due to the MRI injury. Sweet baby Jesus… 😩

Honestly, after that, there was only a dim flicker of a light left where the fire in my heart and soul used to be. Between the Mirena IUD causing a Pseudo Tumor Cerebri, Stage-4 Epstein Barr Virus (Fibromyalgia,) and a plethora of other un-healing injuries, traumas, symptoms, and conditions I finally broke. Not being completely consumed by the numbness and dark was nearly impossible, and I could only faintly remember a time when I was always positive, smiling, and filled with cheer and love. Beaten, chewed up, and spit out, I was traumatized over and over again. I felt like just as I would start to get better, something else would beat me down. I wanted to die. 😢

Now, I’m not going to lie, things are still hard. I still suffer daily with chronic pain, etc., but after a long plateau, there have finally been some good forward movements with my health.

I’ve been slowly regaining the ability to digitally draw and paint! :’) This was how I was able to create that beautiful little winter solstice night elf illustration back in December and the poster for the Faerie Garden Party. Now, after months of slowly working on it bit by bit, I’m happy to share this symbolic painting, “Loosing Hope.” I started this while I was in one of the deepest parts of my depression last year. Each break symbolic of the physical pain and various injuries, my inner light escapes through all the cracks.

Sadly, it takes me INCREDIBLY longer to create and finish a piece with the limitations of the chronic joint pain, tendinitis, and fibro, some days I can’t even draw at all since things get flared up so easily… but even though my abilities are very much more limited then they were before, my heart still cries for me to be an artist, so I will continue to fight to do what I love. I’ll keep following my dreams, and I’m incredibly grateful for what I can do… I sincerely just wish the pain would fully heal.

On another good health note, my seizures are slowly becoming even less frequent still and all my digestive issues have been getting better too!!! I saw the most improvement when I finally was able to go completely radical fat free on my #medicalmediumprotocols

Although my throat and voice are still on the mend, I was very grateful that it was just well enough that I could sing at the Faerie Garden Party in Berkeley Springs, WV this past weekend. I hope it continues to heal so I can sing all the time again on day. :’)

I feel so blessed that there have been laughs and good times along the way, such as when Robbie and I had our engagement photo shoot last October (I’m so excited to share the photos!) or when we traveled to #Moresca in New York together to pick out some garb for our future wedding reception. The “Bringing in the May” art show and the Faerie Garden Party in Berkeley Springs, WV were absolutely amazing memories as well! 🥰

I work as hard as I can every day to continue to run my business, follow all my Medical Medium protocols perfectly, keep my band moving forward, and take care of my home and family. I sing and work as much as I can before the pain makes me stop. Every day I’m doing the very best I can to keep my hope for healing and restoration alive. I still get depressed, but I’m still healing. I’m not at the finish line yet, so I still get really sad, but I’ll continue to fight. I still haven’t given up, even though I’ve been enduring for years. Thank you to all the precious friends who have supported me through all of this. I don’t know if I would still be here without you. Thank you for taking the time to check in and read my stories. I love all of you and miss you so much. Thank you.❤️

#whowantstocuddle #imissallofyou #learningcompassionthehardway #healthwarrior #healingchonicillness #fibromyalgia #medicalmedium

#drawnwithlove #paintedwithlove #art #pennsylvaniaillustrator #pennsylvaniaartist #fantasyillustration #fantasyart #nightelf #elf #mangaillustration #digitalpainting #animeelf #manga #mangasketch #mangaart #digitalart #artistofinstagram #anime #animeart #healingwithart #healthwarrior #waccom #clipstudiopaint #elvenspirit #fantaastart

[nightsongalchemy]

It took a few weeks only being able to paint for small increments at a time while enduring the pain, but back in March, I was able to complete this passionate watercolor painting.

It’s the feeling of being chronically ill while enduring long term tendon and joint injuries in my arms hand. It’s the feeling of being kept from living my life to the fullest as a musician, artist, and as a human being. It’s the isolation and depression the comes from being an angel with broken wings waiting patiently in a waterfall of hope and healing.

There is a very good reason I haven’t been able to show you this piece until now. The past three months have been, well... quite rough.

After contracting Covid-19 back in March, I fought it most of the way through April. Already being on the immune-compromised spectrum, it really knocked me down. With chronic fatigue and pain all over my body, it made the pain I was already fighting within my knees, arms, and hand so much worse. I ran a fever for months, which made my seizures a bit more frequent for awhile. The brain fog and depression were de-habilitating.

Overlapping with the virus, my chronic allergies began to flare up which, in turn, triggered a chronic ear infection. I’m still struggling with the pain from that, all while enduring my dear sweet endometriosis cycles.

Luckily, I’ve been treating myself aggressively with #medicalmedium information; herbs, supplements, and healing foods along with his healing broth recipe. By the mercy of the Divine, angels, and prayers from dear friends and loved ones, it never went into the pneumonia stage for me.

Devastatingly, while I was so sick that I could barely take care of myself, one of my dearest feline babies, Jacque, the sweetest, most human cats you could ever meet, started developing rapid symptoms. With my fiancé, Robbie, at the wheel, I dragged myself to animal hospital after animal hospital to be there for her. We were not allowed to visit or stay with her in the hospital due to Covid-19; this was gut-wrenching. In the end, it was an inoperable brain tumor by her pituitary gland. The ecologist had never seen anything like it, and it was equally as wounding to hear she was much too weak to endure any radiation therapy, let alone if it would even work.

On May 19th, three days after my birthday, we had to let her go. After two days and one sleepless night of making her as comfortable and happy as we possibly could, Peaceful Pet Passage came to our home (God bless them.) As Robbie and I held each other and softly sang, she drifted off in my arms... It was a beautiful, for she was no longer suffering, yet a very much traumatizing event to the both of us.

It has taken me a few days to get through writing this post, for I find myself frequently breaking down into tears. Jacque was apart of our family. She enjoyed carrying on conversations and was always there to greet us at the door... Even on her last day, she was still the most elegant cat I had ever met. I love you, Jacque, and I miss you with everything I have.

Needless to say, the stress and trauma knocked my healing process back a good bit. However, its not all doom and gloom. With the recent addition of a filter to help remove the chlorine and fluoride from our water (thank you Mum and Dad), I’ve seen a bit of an improvement in my energy levels and mental clarity. We also recently found that our radon levels are a bit high in our home (thanks again, Dad!) I’m hoping once Robbie is able to find and repair the fan, the removal of these environmental toxins may help boost my body’s healing capabilities even more.

I have seen little bits of improvements with the chronic injuries in my arms and hand, but it hasn’t been anything substantial yet. Since I suffer with Stage-4 Epstein Barr Virus, it could take awhile to see any results. Chronic tendinitis can take up to a year to heal in general let alone without the addition of EBV.

“If an injury that seems like it should have gotten better a long time ago is still causing you pain and suffering, it may feel very disheartening if doctors can’t determine why you’re not feeling better and loved ones can’t understand why you’re not back to your old self. [...]  When you’re injured, the myelin sheaths covering the nerves in the area of the injury fray like strands of yarn, causing small nerve root hairs to come loose and hang or pop off the nerves. Injured nerves like these trigger an alarm hormone meant to bring your body’s healing mechanisms to the rescue. When EBV is present in your system, though, it detects this hormone, too, and rushes over to take advantage and target the nerves. The disrupted root hairs give EBV the openings it needs to latch onto the nerves and keep them inflamed for a long period—sometimes years, if not addressed properly by taking care of your EBV. [...] If you’re well into Stage Four of EBV, viral neurotoxins will also be released at record levels and cause nerve problems like never before— even without an accident or injury. As you’ve read about in previous symptoms, such as anxiety, tingles and numbness, and dizziness, high levels of these neurotoxins in the bloodstream create sensitized, allergic, inflamed nerves simply from proximity. The result is an extra difficult time healing when EBV is active in your system. Once you get rid of the virus, you can move forward.” Excerpt from Thyroid Healing by Anthony William, p60-61.

I’ve started, stopped, started, stopped, started with ice packs, and then stopped again, but I’m getting through this update and I’m so proud. I’m patient and hopeful because I know the day that I can live my life to the fullest again is coming. After increasing my celery juice intake to twice a day, I’ve even been seeing a little more energy here and there and an overall boost in my mood.

Thank you to everyone who wished me a “Happy Birthday!” and thank you to all my friends and family who keep hanging in there and fighting the good fight with me. Thank you for your compassion, love, prayers, patience, and support. I love all of you so much. If you could, please keep me in your prayers, and to those of you suffering with chronic symptoms and conditions - Take it one day at a time, have compassion for yourself, your body isn’t attacking itself, and you will heal. Love and light everyone. Take care.

Love your elven bard,

Jasper✨🧝🏻‍♀️🌟🌙✨

#keepsmiling #nevergiveup #risingfromtheashes #medicalmedium #medicalmediumprotocols #healingchonicillness 

#healthwarrior #Illustration #Painting #watercolor #DrawnWithLove #PaintedWithLove #ElvenSpirit #AddictedToElves #HealingWithArt #Healing #NightSongAlchemy