#healing his inner child by helping Dot learn what its like to be a human child

[llumimoon]

Congrats on finally bonding with the eldritch god child you named and adopted !!

Dot is the Doodler from my AU! <3

[thea-harman]

❝  I get so caught up in protecting the people I love that I forget to protect myself.  ❞

☽ The Wi☨ch is in The Details ☾

Name:  Thea Sophia Harman Age:  17 ( May ## ) Zodiac:  Taurus ( ♉ ) Gender:  Female ( ♀ ) Species:  Witch ( Daughter of Hellewise ) Clan: Hearth-Woman ( Harman(s) ) Parents: Daniel Avery ( father - deceased ) & Sophia Harman ( mother - deceased ) Relationships:  Blaise Harman (cousin), Edgith Harman (maternal grandmother), Naomi Flores (great great great great aunt), Eric Ross (soulmate) Extended Family: Redfern(s), Iliana Dominick (distant cousin), Gillian Lennox (unknown cousin), FC:  Olivia Holt ( x )

☽ Personality ☾

☑  caring, courageous, free-spirited ☒  emotional, self-destructive, quiet

☽ The Past ☾

Thea and Blaise grew up differently than most kids.  Being an only child born to Daniel Avery ( Witch ) and Sophia Harman ( Witch ).  However, when she was still very young, Thea and her cousin Blaise lost both their parents in a tragic ritual accident.  Inseparable as ever the girls are basically sisters.  Because of this, they grew up surrounded by witches often living with their different relatives, mostly due to the antics of Blaise.  Blaise was never happy in one place for too long.  Because of that, Thea got used to a life of always being on the move. Having been expelled from seven to eight different schools since they were freshmen.   

Her cousin would regularly get into trouble for taunting and playing with the local human boys and Thea would take the fall with her.  At their last school in New Hampshire, Blaise got a boy named Randy Marik to burn down the school gym for her, leading to her and Thea's expulsion.  They were then sent to live with Grandma Harman, their maternal grandmother.

☽ The Present ☾

Running out of relatives to take them in.  Thea is determined not to get expelled or any trouble this time, as she doesn’t want to disappoint Grandma Harman - or be sent to the Convent for misbehaving.  Beginning their new school, Lake Mead High.  Things go awry right from the moment she arrives at school, however.  Before she can even go inside, Thea hears a lot of fuss, after investigating she discovers that students are crowded around a snake.  Thea telepathically connects with the snake and tries to convince it to leave to avoid getting the snake or any students harmed.  However, her concentration is broken by the students throwing stones and a boy named Eric Ross.  The snake bit him but only they knew.  The two then carry the snake out to the wilderness.  Thea heals Eric without him noticing.  Using magic to heal the bite, though she tries to pass it off as the snake having missed its mark. When Blaise notices Thea possibly liking Eric, she intends to use Eric like all of her 'boy toys.'  To stop her, Thea summons an old witch, a forbidden spell. She learns later that because she did not create a ring around the summoning, the spirit got to lose.  Not wanting Blaise to get to Eric, Thea says she will use him. He takes her to the dance, but when one of Blaise's old toys shows up and causes drama the two left.  Eric took her to the animal clinic he volunteers at.  When Blaise's attempts to take Eric from Thea it fails, she eventually deduces that Eric is her soulmate, but this gives her nothing but grief, due to Eric being human and therefore forbidden to her. 

Eric also takes Thea to the gym, where the Halloween dance is set up.  The theme consists of old witch hangings and torture methods.  Disgusted with it Thea had Eric get a camera so that they can write a complaint in the school newspaper.  While he is gone, Thea discovers the body of Kevin Imamura - a boy Blaise was toying with - is found strangled and hung with witch dummies.  Connecting the dots, Thea realizes that the murder was committed by the spirit she set to lose.  A witch victim of torture in the olden days, who was forced to watch her family die before she did.  Thea realizes that the spirit will attack again on Halloween.  Eric also connects the dots that Thea is a witch and demands that she let him help stop the spirit. Thea plans, with Eric’s help, to lure Suzanne’s spirit to a natural stone circle in the desert and send her back to the afterlife.  She intends to carry out the plan on the night of the Samhain celebrations.  Eric waits for her at the circle, whilst she attends the party.  Unfortunately, Thea, Blaise, and Dani are summoned by the Inner Circle and accused of performing forbidden spells.  Thea, realizing Eric and the human students at the high school Halloween dance is in danger, flees the house and drives to the circle, getting there just as Suzanne is about to kill Eric. 

With Eric's help, Thea prepares the ritual and sets it in motion. Suzanne's spirit is strong and tries to attack Thea, but she calls upon her "power as a daughter of Hellewise" - allegedly something no witch has done before - and finally gains the strength to send Suzanne back beyond the veil.  Together they re imprison the spirit, just as all of the witches arrive.  Now knowing that Thea is in love with a human, the witches decide to make them both lose their memories rather than killing them.  Eric and Thea are given a forgetting brew.  However, when drinking it, Thea realizes that it is just tea and that Blaise is letting her keep her memories.  After escorting Thea and her soulmate outside, Blaise - bid them farewell.  Thea had an emotional goodbye with her sister Blaise and Aradia suggests she and Eric seek out Circle Daybreak, where they might be accepted.  Fearing for their life she and Eric fled in his jeep but they never reached their destination to Circle Daybreak headquarters like they planned.  Engulfed in a sudden flash of light there whole worlds changed.

☽ The Current Story ☾

Now?  Thea and Blaise’s story is on a twisted re-peat but Thea has no recollection of of what had happened.  Just that where her story began.  With them running out of relatives to take them in.  Thea herself is determined not to get expelled or in any trouble whatsoever this time, as she doesn’t want to dissapoint Grandma Harman - or be sent to the Convent for misbehaving.  Beginning thier new life in browning harbor, massachusetts in a small town.

Timeline—

2019

( Sept. 24th )  Arrived at Browning Harbor Massachusetts to live with their Grandma Harman.

☽ Abilities ☾

☽ Basic Powers ☾ 》Spell Casting: Thea has the power to cast Spells. 》Potion making: She also can make magical potions. 》Cartomancy:  Tarot reading doesn’t have the power to change future events, but it can help anticipate them.  》Sigil Creation: Thea can inscribe or paint a symbol that’s considered to have magical power.   ☽ Individual Powers ☾ 》Advanced Telekinesis ► Thea can control and manipulate the movement of objects and persons through mental influence. 》Telepathy ► Thea has the power to hear the thoughts and read the minds of another person. 》Electrokinesis ► Thea can create, shape, and manipulate electricity. 》Advanced Geokinesis ► Thea can create, shape and manipulate earth and `earthen` elements. 》Hydrokinesis/Cryokinesis ► Thea can create, shape, and manipulate water, ice, and cold.. 》Pain Infliction ► Thea has the ability to inflict great pain onto a person by causing their blood vessels to burst and thus giving them multiple aneurysms 》Advanced Healing ► Thea can heal minor wounds such as poisons, cuts, bruises, and light burns.  Along with healing external wounds, including fractured bones and deeper burns, disregarding of severity.  Lost limbs can be re-attached.  Minor damaged internal organs may heal, but more severity may be beyond repair and may take more time to heal.

[abrahamwebster]

How Works Reiki All Time Best Cool Ideas

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What Does Reiki Mean In Japanese

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Reiki Pronunciation

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[hales-bellls]

Touch Base

Figured I'd do a check in with my grief work in hopes that someone in a similar set of circumstances can benefit from it.

Back story: I was widowed last July, I turn 30 in a few weeks and I'm on a journey of learning how to do this "self-love" crap.

Immediately post-accident, I was kept busy with all the "final affairs". Phone calls, paperwork, trips to the DMV, bank, city hall; notarize this, copy that, mail this, review that. After a few months, things started to settle. There wasn't much left on the to-do list, work started to level out again; but we all know what happens when the quiet sets in. I tried dating again, what a joke that was. You think I was ready for vulnerability? Ha. So off to therapy I went. Nothing like the death of a spouse and being a nurse in a pandemic to set the tone for a first appointment.

First few sessions were just information sharing. I thought myself an average emotional nutcase but I assumed she'd need the big picture in order to help me dig into my BS. I started to see a theme come out of me as the sessions went on. I'm sure it's something common, but the weight of it kind of slapped me in the face. I just want to be happy but I have no idea what that means.  I thought by the time I turn 30 I'd have a few things under my belt, one of them being knowing what I want and how to go after them. To find out after all this time just how clueless I am at what makes me happy is extremely disappointing. Nonetheless, I've decided on a path for my next phase of life. Lord knows I've got my work cut out for me.

Step 1: Evaluate the situation.

As every research study or quality improvement project starts, one has to assess where they're currently at. In my eyes, I have a cool job, an amazing set of family and friends, a decent house and 3 doggos that keep said house full of love. I'm set. Sure. I've got this.  I'mmmmmm happy. Yup. Happy. Sure, the recent loss of my spouse is painting everything in shades of gray, but I have all the things in my life to be okay. So why am I not okay? Therapy helped connect some dots. Happiness isn't a checklist. Happiness isn't a country you move to and set up shop. Life is a winding road up a mountain side with potholes where you're trying to drive with a muddy windshield and your wipers are old and falling apart. Happiness is what happens when you switch out the wipers and clean the windshield, get heavy duty tires for the potholes and enjoy the view off the mountain side. Happiness is the habits you do on a daily basis and the mindset you nurture through all the difficult times you face.  

So far in my winding road of life, I've been purely reactionary. If I give people everything they could ever want, then they'd love me and I'd be happy.  However, all this did was lead me into unhealthy relationships with broken people who just want someone on their team. I'd give all of myself to the "team" thinking they would appreciate my sacrifice and reciprocate. Hello codependent, thy name is yours truly. I was always left the only person on that team. For my next chapter of life, I can't better myself without acknowledging the truth of my past relationships. I have to heal my wounds, develop healthier views of love and become whole myself before I can be with someone else. I owe it to my future relationships to be the best me I can be. However, in order to do that, I have to switch from being reactive to proactive. And what a habit to break when you've had 30 years of practice.  I thought if I did all the things I'm supposed to do, I'll be happy. I was a good girl in high school. I went to college and got a degree. I bought a big house. I was reactive to society's checklist of "Things to Get to Be Happy".  So why is it not working? Let's flip back to my original statement of "Happiness is a mindset and your daily habits."

My job is a lot. A lot physically, a lot emotionally. It's heavy, it's dark, it's not everyone's cup of tea. I'm a trauma ICU nurse at a major Midwest hospital. If you're obliterated in a car wreck, lit up by a Glock, or elderly on a ladder trying to clean out your gutters; there's a good chance you woke up in my unit to my lovely face.  My job is to take care of people in their worst nightmare.  However, my job is inspirational. I work alongside some the strongest people I'll ever meet. They're people who are always in search of bettering our care, wanting the best for our patients, and always striving for new ways to save lives. I learn new things every day, I'm challenged and I'm tried and I'm certainly never bored. I get daily reminders of how important it is to value the time we have.  There's no place else I'd rather be.  Happiness is a mindset that you have to nurture daily, so I started practicing.  I practiced at my place of employment, but I also found the urge to practice at my place of rest.

My house was one of the first things I tackled post-accident. I'm sure it was my spirit trying to protect me against the tsunami of grief that was heading my way but I had this huge surge of energy in the weeks following his death. Sunrise to sunset I was either scrubbing, sorting, painting, shopping, reorganizing, trashing; the list goes on. I painted walls bright colors, I hung pictures that made me laugh, I threw away stuff that sat in boxes since we moved in a few years ago. I couldn't stop. I noticed something though. I felt…peace.  I felt joy even. Whenever I enter my bedroom to the bright yellow wall behind my bed, I can't help but smile whenever I see it. When I see the renaissance paintings of my three pups, my Star Wars art in my living room, or my quirky plants in my window sills, I feel joy.  I never understood the value of home décor, I thought it was frivolous and a waste of money.  For the first time in a long time however, my house was my haven. It was easier to find the desire to clean because I was motivated to maintain the sanctuary I built. I felt joy putting in the work of the daily house scrub because it was mine. I felt joy knowing my house is where my family can gather on holidays and where people can crash when they need an escape.  It's something I've built for myself, and a first major step in cultivating the happiness I've been seeking my whole life thus far.

Step 2: Nixing the Nay's.

So, you've evaluated your situation. Time to get rid of what's no longer serving you. Seems simple right? Just take out the trash, no biggie. I'm not just talking about stuff though. There's a meme going around that says something like, "If it doesn't bring me joy, money, or orgasms; I want nothing to do with it." It usually gives everyone a superficial chuckle, but think about it. How much stuff do we carry around with us in our day to day life just because it's uncomfortable to change? Jobs, relationships, thoughts, feelings, habits; everyone at some point has held on to these way past their expiration date because its uncomfortable to change them.  For me, it was my thoughts. I've struggled forever with negative self-talk because I thought it was normal. I thought those thoughts were part of being a human being. I didn't know it could be different. Therapy swoops in again, showing me that inner monologues are actually reactionary habits that we learned as a child and that with active attention paid to them, one can change the darkness the thoughts bring.  It still seems unbelievable how I've been given the power to change something that seems so engrained in my DNA. This definitely has become a spiritual mountain to climb. These thoughts have to go, though. They're holding me back from being my most fabulous self, and I deserve better. SO DO YOU. Nix the nays, no matter what form they take.  

Step 3: Nourish the Yay's.

So, this one was confusing for me. It's easy to acknowledge what makes you feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is a very clear feeling, it's very distinguishable from a resting state. Joy, however, can take many forms. Of course, joy is clear when you're on a beach with a margarita. It's clear when you're with people you love, when you're laughing, etc. I'm talking about the daily habit of joy though. Doing the dishes doesn't bring joy. Going to the DMV doesn't bring joy. Having dog drool land on your face as your alarm clock at 0500 does not bring joy. So someone like me, someone currently in a low part of life, finds herself scratching her head at this whole joy concept. I always filed it away under "do the hard stuff now, then you'll get a margarita on the beach in a few years. That'll top me off for another few years of suffering." This can't be it though. Life can't be army-crawling through fields of glass and lemon juice in hopes of making it to an all-inclusive once every few years. I had some work to do.

I had done some of the work already through reorganizing/decorating my house post-accident. The yellow in my master bedroom, the renaissance paintings of my dogs both make me laugh aloud with joy whenever I see them. This spills over into my daily life too, giving me the rule while I'm shopping that if it doesn't make me feel like the yellow wall or the dog paintings, it ain't worth having it (thank you, Marie Kondo). Overall, making one's house a place of peace and spiritual harmony is a good place to start in finding daily joy.

Another thing that brings me joy I've discovered in the recent years has been cultivating a green thumb. At the beginning of lockdown, I got my first plant; a Fiddle-Leaf Fig I named Janet. She was a few inches tall and after some research, I learned she's going to be quite high-maintenance. However, with society closed down for the foreseeable future, what else was I going to do with my time? So here we went, finding the right window, working out the right watering schedule etc. When I woke up one morning and found a little green leaf sprouting off her stalk, it was like Christmas. Something so silly made me feel so proud. I made a living thing feel like they could grow, and I needed more of that. Some people do heroin, I do plants. A high is a high is a high, eh? Janet is now as tall as me in a pot on the floor with leaves as big as my dog. I've got a whole wall of windows in my dining room full of different plants with different routines, all with new growth and new rushes for me to enjoy. I've even started planting things outside.  Sure, plants aren't for everyone. The point is that you have to try new things. If they make you feel like that little leaf made me feel, you have to keep doing it. If that little leaf didn't have me doing cartwheels, I'm sure the motivation would have gone right out the window and Janet would have been laid to rest in my trash can after some time.

Probably one of the most earth-shattering discoveries I've found is one I thought I'd never do.  Fitness was not something cherished in my house growing up. I was a naturally thin lass who wasn't into sports, so I didn't have a need to maintain a frame on the daily anyway. Once I hit 25 and discovered existential dread, the gut started to rear its ugly head. I played it off for a few years, tried the whole "body positivity" thing but it was a ploy. I could blame it on the accident, sure, but my weight gain was from something much deeper than that. I just wasn't "woke" enough to see it yet.  In this same timeline, my best friend gets engaged and starts "sweating for the wedding". Being that I'm a regular at her and her fiancé's dinner table, I often got the "you should totally go to this gym with us!" After several months of eye rolls and lame excuses, I caved. I figured if I just go once, they'll leave me alone about it. Something strange happened though. After the workout I felt…good?  I felt motivated? I went home and did several chores my depression had been putting off? And I did them to…music? What? Who am I? What is this? Why did Britney Spears leave us? I digress. In the name of joy research, I had to try this workout thing again to make sure it wasn't a fluke. It wasn't. I started going twice a week, and I found myself dancing and slaying my to-do list after every session.  I found myself sleeping better. I found myself saying, "I should probably start going more days throughout the week so I can be more productive."  Even in therapy, I found myself struggling to find things to share with my therapist because overall, I felt better. It wasn't until a family member I was sharing this all with dug deep and asked me what I think is different this time. In my 29 years, I had tried several gyms with all different set ups, all of them lastin the one "free-trial" session then I was able to talk myself out of needing to continue so I could get back on my couch.  So, what was different this time?  Therapy once again put on its cape and responded to my bat signal.  I was given the tools to see the problem for what it was: weight gain was a symptom, not the problem.  It was a symptom among many others like it of how I felt about myself.  I got in a habit over the years of putting myself at the bottom of my priority list. There was always a person, place or situation that was more worthy of my attention/energy.  Now that I'm in a place in my life where I can/want to focus on myself, I can see just how poorly I was doing so.  I think the motivation to go to the gym is different this time because I changed the goal the gym was helping me achieve. Before, the gym was always discouraging because everyone else there was in shape, knew what they were doing, had matching fancy workout clothes etc. I always felt out of place or like I was being judged. The gym I'm going to now has people of all shapes and sizes, the staff's goal is to just get you in the door and they are so motivated to make you succeed all while loving you along the way. Most importantly, I was going to the gym because of how it made me FEEL afterwards. I wasn't going to get thin, squat "X" amount of lbs, or find my next beau; I was going so afterwards I could bask in my glory and endorphins. The performance pressure was gone and it completely changed the game. I stumbled upon a "Yay" and I nourished it.

I know I still have a long way to go in my spiritual journey. I hope that what I'm doing can give others in similar circumstances some direction, insight, and/or hope to better and brighter things. It's always better knowing you're not alone. Take care of yourself. Go to therapy if you can. Most importantly, start where you are. Find your right "window" and "watering routine" and watch the new leaf grow on your stalk. You deserve it.