#he's using that voice for a second in this scene right here and.
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I LOVEDDDDDDD your Thanos âbang bang bangâ post and it made me very curious abt how they know eo and stuff and like Iâd love to read more about it in general if you donât mind. Itâs so great and I love your writing <333 have a fun day / night đ«¶đ»
BANG BANG BANG ll
summary - thanos was always just such an easy person to argue with. you really hated the guy and that was something that was never going to change, even if your life was on the line and it fucking was.
pairing: (thanos) choi su-bong x fem. reader
word count: 1.8k
contains: violence, angst, death, drug use and addiction, dark content - just usual squid game stuff really
a/n: ty so much! this turned out kinda freaky but that is because thanos is a freak so, i didn't really have a choice.
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There was an eerie silence among all the participants for the first few seconds after the first death happened. The realization of what this meant for everyone present slowly sank in, and you thought that maybe the crazy man with all his screaming, wasn't quite as crazy as you originally thought. The real madman was probably the person somewhere upstairs or - you didn't know exactly where, but you knew that they were watching you.
âDon't move!â His voice shouted again, but this time with a completely different force. It may be that this was the most logical conclusion one could draw from what had just happened, but some seemed to throw all logic out of the window as soon as the fear of death hit. It only took one person to panic to set off a domino effect and from one second to the next loud gunshots could be heard, following the fearful screams of one person after another. The participants were being slaughtered like frightened animals in a cage, what kind of sick game was really going on here?
You too began to tremble as you looked down at the floor, dissociating and trying to ignore your surroundings as best you could. You had to stop yourself from flinching when the person right next to you was killed, even as you felt his still warm blood covering your cheek, even as a small river of it started pooling around your foot. You were most likely going to leave a trace of him all over the ground as soon as you started walking again - whoever he was. It didn't take very long for everyone who had moved to be shot, maybe half a minute - and yet it must have been the worst half minute of your life so far.
âDon't you dare move,â Thanos said in a voice you weren't used to hearing from him. âI'm serious, don't make me mad.â
You just looked at his back from behind, with a tense posture while you tried to regain control of your breathing again. Finally, there was complete silence on the pitch again. Even if it wasn't an entirely welcome silence.
The voice from the loudspeakers began to speak again and you already knew that this would be a voice that would haunt you in your nightmares. âLet me repeat: You can move forward while the tagger shouts, Green light, red light. If your movement is detected afterward, you will be eliminated.â
Ah, so that's what you meant with eliminated. A bit literal but no biggie! The game continued, but no one really dared to move a muscle even when the puppet looked away. You then saw Thanos shift slightly out of the corner of your eye and noticed that he was pulling his cross necklace out of his t-shirt. Safe to say, that you could barely believe what you were seeing right before your very eyes. You've got to be kidding me, they took everything we had from us, but he was allowed to keep that old thing? âAre you seriously going to take that stuff now?â you whispered in disbelief but didn't really judge him for it. You were this close to just laughing out loud at the absurdity of the scene, but you didn't.
âYou don't have to be jealous, sweetheart,â he replied with slightly shaky hands as he stopped his movement abruptly when the doll finished talking. He just stared longingly at the colorful pills in front of him. âI don't mind sharing with you, you know that.â
You sighed inwardly at the thing you were about to do. You had been clean for maybe about six years by now and quitting drugs of any kind overnight was really fucking hard - definitely one of the hardest things you had to do in your life. On the other hand, your life was still as shitty as before, the only difference being that you were now consciously depressed and unhappy, so who cares? You could die every second anyway. âThanks.â you just said after taking the pill out of his hand and threw the thing as quickly as possible in your mouth as soon as the doll looked away. Yeah, you were the biggest hypocrite on earth, old news.
It only took maybe a few seconds after that for you to feel the effects of the pill and then finally, all the stress started to dissipate. Your muscles relaxed, all the shouting about whatever felt like a soft pillow hugging you and the weird laying positions of the dead around you suddenly seemed incredibly funny. These were really strong pills, you could practically feel your whole body tingling. âWhy are they all suddenly forming a line?â you asked with a grin and Thanos just hummed, not knowing the answer himself. âNo idea, but watch this,â he said and waited until the puppet had turned towards you to push the person next to him, causing everyone in front of them to fall over too. âDing! You lost,â he told them while wiggling his eyebrows and smirking after he watched them get shot.
You didn't even try to stifle your laughter at the scene. âYou really are such an asshole.â you replied, shoving him aside this time after the doll averted its gaze. You then ran away as fast and as far away as you could so that he couldn't take revenge on you for what you had just done. However, you quickly stopped moving with both hands in the air as soon as the girlish voice emitted red light as if you were surrendering to her. You stifled your grin and pretty much failed when you noticed a slightly older woman standing relatively close to you. âHey, are you trying to hide behind me to use me as a shield?â you spoke out without moving your mouth much and watched as she began to sweat more after you realized what she was doing. Still, she didn't pay you any further attention. âAnd now you're ignoring me too?â you spat out annoyed and grabbed her by the arm when you were free to move and pulled her in front of you against her will.
She tried to fight you off but you forced her further forward while she tried to defend herself. âYou're older than me, aren't you ashamed of yourself?â You asked her and stopped walking before the robot's face turned towards you.
Number 57, who was still resisting your grip, stumbled a little to the side when you suddenly let go of her. She was about to howl in delight when she noticed how everyone else stood still. âNoâŠâ she mumbled out fearfully. âIt's because of that bitch! I didn't -â she tried to defend herself to someone as she looked around the room, but her head caught the bullet before she could even finish her sentence.
âI may be a bitch, but at least I'm still alive.â you sang to her dead body on the floor before running past her. You didn't know how much time was left, but you had almost made it to the finish line anyway. You stopped with your back to the robot girl this time and it didn't take you long to spot the purple hair in the crowd. âSu-bong!â you shouted his name, since you had somehow gotten separated while running. You waited until he yelled back with a what?! âLast one there, gets fucked in the ass!â you yelled out without any shame or filter and saw his facial expression turn serious at the challenge. âLet's Go!â
The whole game went by relatively quickly once you took the pill from Thanos. It was actually quite fun, you thought to yourself as you both jumped around like two crazy people with grinning faces, waving your arms around wildly. I know it's not socially acceptable to say this, but I fucking love doing drugs! It was like everything around you was happening in slow motion and all the decisions you made felt foggy, like you didn't even realize what you were doing.
You loved being this person, it felt great to forget everything and just - not think. âI have won! No, really! You crossed the line two steps after me, I saw it!â you exclaimed before Thanos could object to a single thing. âDidn't anyone else see that?â you exclaimed in disbelief as if the others weren't busy staying alive while watching several others die right before their faces. You didn't care about the looks they gave you as you waved your hand. âNo, they definitely saw it. I won.â
Thanos just gave in with a heavy sigh and a roll of his eyes. âYeah yeah, I'm getting fucked in the ass which is gay, very funny.â he just mumbled to himself annoyed, and continued to avoid your gaze, but couldn't help grin again when you slapped him on the shoulder laughing. âHey, why did we stop doing all this again?â he asked you when he couldn't remember the reason. All he knew was that he hadn't had this much fun in a long time, even though he knew that he always had a great time with you - no matter what.
You laughed. âOh, that's because you promised me that we'd both get clean together, and then you spent the money I gave you for rehab on more drugs behind my back. â you laughed along with him, even if Thanos frowned a little at the memory and you started to smile forcedly after remembering again how he had betrayed you. âOr what was it again? Was it something about that Youtuber you told me aboutâŠâ you mumbled to yourself obliviously, feeling any sense of happiness begin to fade. You finally gave up, the details weren't that important anyway. âIt doesn't really matter though, right? In any case, you used the money for something else, whatever it was. Even though you knew how hard I worked for it - hell, I didn't even eat most days to scrape it together, man.â you stated while you looked him in the face, even though he averted his gaze from you. âThat's just fucked up dude.â
Exactly. You actually hated being this person. You might not remember it right now, but you would as soon as the effects of the pill wore off, which hopefully wasn't soon. You really hoped it wasn't soon, because you didn't want to be aware of anything that had happened today.
#x reader#x female y/n#x female reader#fanfiction#x fem!reader#squid game#choi seunghyun#t.o.p#squid game x reader#thanos squid game#squid game thanos#squid game season 2#squid game 2#player 230#squid game fanfic#fanfic#thanos x reader#thanos#choi su bong x reader#choi su bong#choi su-bong
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fluff with boyfriend satoru. thats it.
boyfriendsatoru who's weary and exhausted from the weight of the world on his shoulders, fighting curses day in and day out.
boyfriendsatoru who's favorite part of the day is coming home to you, to the soft hum of your cozy apartment. Your warm smile and open arms a perfect remedy to melt away the exhaustion in his bones, along with the smell of a freshly made meal or takeout depending on how tired you were from your own missions.
"Welcome home, Toru!" The tender tone in your voice made his heart warm. Despite your tired eyes, you still stood up to greet him by the door. You wear wearing his shirt and nothing else with your hair up in a messy bun. And to him you looked so beautiful it almost hurt. How did he ever deserve you?
He closes the distance between you two, wrapping his arms around your smaller frame, hugging you tightly like someone was gonna take you away.
Tucking his head in the crook of your neck, he breathes you in and melts into your embrace. "Im home."
boyfriendsatoru who's house is now so full of life ever since you came in the picture, apartment now filled with cute trinkets, scented candles, plants and cozy throw pillows. A stark difference from his once cold and empty house that he only uses to sleep for a few hours before carrying the mantle as the storngest once more.
boyfriendsatoru who makes up for his absence due to long missions every chance he gets. He now demands for days off like other sorcerers and spends those days trailing behind you like a little puppy.
boyfriendsatoru who doesn't know what personal space is when it comes to you. Wanna shower? he's right there with you. Reading a book in bed? his using your chest as a pillow, purring like a cat every time your laugh reverberates from your body, might even offer to reenact your favorite scenes. Need to pee in the middle of the night? You get startled when he opens the door, sleepy face yawning as he scratches his toned tummy while he waits for you to be finished. Claiming that he can't sleep without you. Doing skincare? He's right beside you, waiting for you to pat in your toner and moisturiser on his face. Honestly, he's just a baby who loves you and wants to be included in everything.
"Toru, not that I mind..."
He looks up from his place on your chest, looking so sleepy and satisfied that you almost didn't wanna disturb him.
He yawns before answering you, voice laced with sleep. "What is it, sweets?"
You thread your fingers through his fluffy hair, giving him head scratches here and there and he basically purrs like a kitty on catnip. "You know you don't t have to spend every waking moment with me. I know you feel like you have to make up for the time we're apart, but its okay to make time for yourself you know."
In typical Gojo fashion, Satoru juts his lips out as his eyes water comically. "Does that mean you don't want to spend time me?"
"What? No!" You were somehow panicked and amused at the same time.
"You should've just shot me instead, that would have hurt less!" He cries, tightening his arms around your waist.
You shake your head at his theatrics, laughing fondly, "I didn't mean that you big baby."
Sparkly blue eyes stare back at you, "But Im your baby."
You snort in response. If only the world could see him now, the stongest so soft like this. But truly you felt lucky that monly you could see this side to Satoru. A side to him that you could keep all to yourself. The world can have the strongest, you only ever wanted Satoru. "Toru, I only meant that you might get tired of me if you don't have your personal space."
He scoffs, looking so offended. "First of all, there's absolutely no chance of me getting sick of you and second Ive had enough alone time to last me a life time."
The way he said the last part made it sound like it was no big deal but the thought of him coming home to an empy house with no one to turn to made your heart ache. "Toru.."
Seeing the look on your face, he quickly gives you a smile, "Don't look at me like that, sweets. Im fine, really. Its all in the past."
You were unconvinced but you didn't want to breach deeper into such a sad subject so instead you made a promise to yourself to make sure he never feels alone ever again.
You pull him up and wrap your arms around his neck, he snuggles into you but makes sure not to crush you under his weight. His warmth seeps into your skin as you caress his back. You murmur softly into his neck, "You have me, Toru. Always."
Gojo had to blink back the tears and stop his voice from shaking when he spoke, "And you have me."
--
"Just to be clear, you don't like personal space?" You ask, teasing lightly as you looked down at Gojo on you lap.
He gazes up at you, arms circling your waist, smirking cheekily as he answers, "I like your personal space."
#love#fanfiction#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jujutsu kaisen#fluff#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo saturo x reader#gojo satoru fluff#satoru gojo x reader#gojo saturo#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo#jujutsu gojo#gojo fluff#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#jjk satoru#jujutsu satoru#jujutsu kaisen satoru
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SYMBIOSIS.á
absorbing curses was simple enough, right? until your boyfriend absorbs something that isnât quite a curse.
FEATURING: venom! geto suguru x journalist! female reader
CONTENTS: 18+ content, mdni. has SOME canon qualities/otherwise just an au, mentions of blood, monsterfucking, tentacles as bondage, mentions of dead chickens (ref to the first venom movie lol), unprotected p in v (monster or not, wrap it đ«”đŒ), (consensual) recording during sex, male masturbation, cunnilingus, oral (m receiving), riding, missionary, pet names, some aftercare
WORD COUNT: 6.2k
AUTHORâS NOTE: 19inchesofvenom 19inchesofvenom 19inchesofven- (iâm gonna go sit in a corner n think about what i wrote sorry chat)
You were going to strangle your boss.
Or, you would've entertained the idea had it not been for the hefty stack of ALMOST DUE bills cluttered around your kitchen table in bright red ink (and the very real possibility of ending up in jail, whoops).
Maybe you'd just stick with your original idea of writing a heavily worded word document. One that you'd never send, of course. But one that would explain the absurdity of this situation, nonetheless. Using your journalistic degreeâand the many years of debt that it'd set you back, to come to an abandoned barn house in the middle of nowhere.
Unsolved mysteries and speculation led you to explore some complaints farmers had about missing chickens. On some hunch that Venom as the city dubbed him had been responsible.
Brown, dried out leaves crunched underneath your feet with each step as you slowly began to approach the abandoned barn. A coyote howled in the distance, the sound of cicadas buzzing around only adding to the animal symphony. You wouldn't be surprised if a chainsaw popped out from the back of the barn and began chasing you down.
"Can't be that bad, right?" You muttered to yourself, standing in front of the tightly shut doors. Trying (and failing) to convince yourself to go through with this investigation instead of tailgating it straight out of this horror scene. You managed to get the heavy door open, its hinges creaking obnoxiously. No chainsaw in sightâokay.
Holding the small candle in front of you, the area around you began to illuminate while you made your way further inside. Nothing out of the ordinary. A couple horses sleeping in their stables, buckets and rakes in almost every corner. Until you approached the chicken coops. Flies buzzed around a couple of the spaces, bunching up in the masses.
Shooing them away, you peered your head inside. And you almost immediately wished that you hadn't. Instead of getting an angry chicken looking back at you, you only got to see a chicken's body laying there. With no sight of the head anywhere. And while you were just a journalist for a mid tier newspaper.. even you could tell that it wasn't normal behavior.
SWISH.
A sudden burst of air hit your face, the hinges of the barn door creaking even further. The culprit had been just a couple meters away and you'd missed it. You jogged outside to try to see if you could catch a glimpse, looking up and down. Only to receive nothing but the buzzing cicadas from earlier.
In the short amount of time it'd taken you to come out, whateverâor whoever was out there, disappeared in the blink of an eye. You were left standing there with your mouth agape, camera weighing heavily in your hand. And now, a missed call from your boss.
"Hello?" You decided to answer the second call, pacing around the barn. Trying to think of just how you were supposed to begin to explain this. How every fiber in your being felt Venom's presence.. without actually facing him. Without actually having any proof that he was even here in the first place.
"I'd appreciate it if you answered my calls the first time around," her voice snapped out from the other line, an agitated groan leaving her lips. "I called to ask how the investigation was going. I'm assuming you have what you need to have the paper by tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?" All the blood in your body ran cold, even more than the near death experience. The woman's working you into an early grave.
And all you received in response to your question was another groan. You could practically picture her pinching the bridge of her nose by now. "Yes, tomorrow. I plan on having it released a couple days from now, you know how the process is."
"Right, right, yeah. I'll get the paper to you by tomorrow," You assured her, your steps starting to get faster. It wouldn't be that hard, right? You just had to do what a couple journalists hadn't achieved in months by tomorrow morning. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm screwed," you muttered to yourself, pushing your phone into the depths of your pocket.
The animals woke up from their nap, looking over at you with an unamused expression. "Don't look at me like that," you hissed out, catching a glimpse of them before letting out a groan, "And now I'm arguing with a bunch of animals." A slow breath left your lungs, forcing yourself to calm down. You'd just work with what you had in front of you.
Only drops of blood staining the tan floor in front of you served to prove that you weren't seeing things. You set the candle aside and pulled your camera out of your bag, starting to take pictures from whatever angle you could muster up. Whatever angle would look the most inconspicuous and mysterious to the newspaper editors.
You couldn't help but feel like something was staring at youâgauging every single one of your movements when you stepped out of the barn. The creature wouldn't have been stupid enough to stick around, would it? You looked up at the barn roof, almost expecting to see something ready to attack. But once again, a whole load bucket of absolutely nothing.
You truly didn't get paid enough to deal with this.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
An unquenchable thirst consumed Suguru's being inside and out, the urge completely taking over any last sense of rationale that he had remaining. Taking over every single last one of his thoughts. Even with the warm, iron taste of blood coating every single one of his tastebudsâthe need wasn't satisfied. It wasn't nearly enough.
It almost felt like it would never be enough.
Dried crimson smudges smeared across elongated canines, pieces of raw flesh sticking to the ends. A mix of his own drool and blood dripped from the corners of his mouth, dripping down his chin and bare body. A body that wasn't really quite his own. Or more accurately, a body that wasn't just his anymore.
Suguru wasn't completely sure what the thing was, originally thinking of it as curse when he'd been sent out by Yaga to 'handle' the issue. Ironically enough, for the same thing that you were investigating just now. Except that he went to absorb it, the black glob in the ground didn't behave anything like a cursed spirit.
The taste of vomit and shit was one that Suguru was used to by now. The taste of every single one of humanity's evil doingsâfrom lust to greedâsticking to the back of his throat while his body absorbed that very same evil. It was a taste that he couldn't get rid of no matter how hard
The little glob didn't taste like anything going down, which probably should've served as the first red flag. One of the other things was that the little thing didn't exactly appear on his commandâmuch like the others in his repertoire, but rather when the thing wanted to make itself known. Like it had rational thinking.
It'd somehow bonded with Suguru's DNA, latching onto him for survival. Even with every method that he'd tried to take it offâprying it off with a metal bar, burning it off, freezing, it was all pointless. The little thing would just stick its gooey tongue out at him before retreating back to the safety of his own body. Going so far as to claim that they were the 'perfect match.'
Dead chicken heads cluttered around his feet, the sound of bones crunching against each other and the last desperate clucks in vain still echoed throughout his skull. Even a couple pieces of flesh remained on the tips of his teeth, the creature inside of him savoring each last bit of the pieces. Better than it being a human, at the very least.
He'd become too sloppy. That much was clear after you'd almost caught him in the barn earlier. If you'd been even just a second faster, you would've noticed him sticking to the side of the roof with no problem. Despite every sense in his body being enhanced, he'd almost gotten caught. All for his blood thirsty to have chickens before going back home for dinner.
How'd this even become a problem? Suguru had made it a point to take just a few chickensâjust enough to satiate the thirst that seemed to run deep within his veins. Taking a few from a different farms scattered across the countryside shouldn't have been suspicious.. and yet here he was. Being investigated.
The smart thing to do would just to leave the chickens alone for now, right?
Just leave the whole thing alone. That would be easy...
Until he had the stupid idea to swing by your apartment. Just to make sure that you'd gotten home safe after driving in the snow. And maybe think of some lie of how he got stuck out with Gojo on a mission again, anything that would ease the suspicions you had.
After spending what seemed to be an eternity waiting for some kind of sign to show up, for the culprit to make themselves knownâyou decided to call it a night. With just a couple photographs and a new conversation topic for your therapist in the following days. And now you were stuck writing a multi page article with nothing but good vibes and a couple dead chickens.
Can after can of unfinished energy drinks cluttered the expanse of your desk, serving as a paperweight for the several papers that laid in front of you. The laptop screen in front of you illuminated your face, nearly blinding as every tab you could find in regard to Venom was opened up. Which was a complete grand total of three articles.
All built up on pure speculation. Exactly what the farmers had told you during their interviewârambling about it being a two headed monster, a soul snatcher, a demon. The eerie presence that hung around the farm was too strong to be ignored.. and yet, no one had actually found the source behind it. No source, no reliable clues, nothing. Just a whole load of absolutely nothing.
The simple fact remained that no one had managed to catch a glimpse of it. Or probably, no one had managed to catch a glimpse of it and live to tell the story. The photos didn't offer much eitherâthey were all either blurred, heavily edited, or just outright AI generated. Each failed result just made the pounding headache thumping against your head all the much worse.
Just what were you supposed to tell your boss and the multitudes of readers?
A loud thump against your window distracted you from looking at your computer screen for different job offers. A thump too heavy to just be a result of the snowfall outside. To open it or not to open it? You stayed still in your spot, gulping down more of the battery acid to keep yourself for a couple more hours. Until another thump. And the third thump came.
You reluctantly got off the chair, padding over towards the window. Nothing. The night sky was completely empty, albeit for a couple snow flakes that were starting to coat the streets in a thin white sheet. Your gaze went down to the three pebbles lying on the floor, matching the number of thuds you'd heard earlier.
"What the fuck?" You muttered to yourself, looking up from the pebbles. The words died in your throat when you looked up to see big, white eyes boring into your own. Not exactly what you were expecting to see living in the second floor. You scrambled away from the window, your heart beating against your chest as you heard the creature scratching against the glass.
The same creature that you were trying to write an article about was scratching against your window, each one grating against your eardrums. Had it been tracking your movements down since you'd left the barn..? Before you had the chance to begin questioning it further, it slid through the crack in the window like slime. Reaching up and up until it reached the lock.
Slipping inside of your apartment in a span of seconds, Venom stood in front of you. Its head pressed against the ceiling, taking over the space it had available with ease. Chills ran down your back when the creature met your gazeâhis stare unsettling. The way a predator would look at its prey. It didn't help that you could practically see it salivating as it took you in.
The chickens were the appetizer and you were about to be the full course meal.
"You're the one writing those articles," not a question, just a simple statement. Its voice came out like something out of an alien movie. You rubbed the back of your neck, awkwardly looking up at the goo-like creature. Trying to figure out what lie you could pull out of your ass.
"I mean, not exactly. There's a lot of people writing those articles, mine don't really get as much traction," you were babbling the first thing that came to mind, trying to buy yourself enough time. Enough time to figure out if jumping out of the second window in just your pajamas was too stupid of an idea. Except... that Venom wasn't even paying attention to you anymore.
It busied itself with picking up one of the various news articles, an indignant scoff leaving its mouth. Holding up the offensive piece of paper up to his face, its eyes narrowing down at you. "If you answer this wrong, I'll be eating your brains. If you answer it right, I'll be eating your arm. Do you think this is the most flattering picture of me?"
You looked over at the picture, trying to discern what was so wrong with it. Seeing Venom face to face, this was the closest thing that resembled it. "It's red but it still looks like you somewhat," you shrugged. Though your eyes quickly widened seeing Venom lick their lips, almost hungrily. Like it'd been waiting for you to say the wrong answer.
"But no, I don't think it's the most flattering. Doesn't look like you at all," you quickly backtracked with a nervous laugh, stepping back just the slightest bit. Just to where the creature wouldn't notice you were slowly slipping away. The creature seemed satisfied with that answer, slamming the photo down onto the wooden desk.
"So unfair that I'm still getting compared to that thing."
"That thing?"
"Carnage."
Venom picked up the camera that laid next to the disorganized stack of papersâholding it up to his face. "Not bad, could've done with some better lighting," he tsked, looking through the pictures you'd taken earlier at the farm. "There wasn't any better lighting," you grumbled, folding your arms across your chest. The subtle click of the camera filled up the room as the creature continued to look through the photographs.
Until even it got tired of multiple copies of the same photos. Venom held up the camera lens to face its slimy face, having the nerve to smile just as the flash came on. "There. A much better picture for your references," the creature spoke almost proudly.. holding up your camera to take another photo of itself. Taking on a more serious expression. "Replace those ugly ones on Google."
Venom moved across your room curiously, exploring it like something out a museum. Picking up the articles you had scattered throughout your desk, holding it up underneath his scrutinizing gaze. And then.. the first change started to happen. Its mask began to disintegrate, human flesh starting to show underneath its cover.
You were delirious. That was the only possible explanation. The fumes from the filthy manure finally infiltrated your brain. The sight of the dead chickens was starting to mess up your cognitive function. "Suguru?"
"Surprise," now he sounded nervous, looking everywhere in the room except at your face.
All the little signs that Suguru had been displaying throughout the past couple weeks slowly started to make sense. From being insistent to be the one to wash his uniform (not that you'd minded at the time) to coming back home at the ass crack of dawn. Claiming that a mission held him up. And still, you found yourself wanting to believe that maybe you were just hallucinating.
"I didn't scare you too badly, right?" he approached you slowly, like he was the one that had to be cautious. You stayed frozen in spot, your mouth agape even as he came to hold your hips.
"Wait, so you're the murderer? How long has it been going on for? A-And why'd you show up here as Venom?" The questions spilled out of you, struggling to even begin to wrap your head around this.
Choosing to ignore your other questions, he simply answered, "You wanted to write your article, didn't you? What better way to do that than to keep track of our exclusive interview." Your phone looked ridiculously tiny held in between two digits, one of his fingertips tapping at the screen. To get the camera app set up?
Suguru placed the camera against one of the perfume bottles on the desk, capturing your bed in the frame. "What's that for?" you questioned, looking over at him as he moved around your room. No longer with that curious gaze, but the usual comfortability instead. "It'll be easier for you to remember if you have it digitized."
Your bed squeaked underneath his weight as Suguru went to lie down, resting his hands behind his head. "Come on, princess. The interview's more comfortable this way," he patted down on the spot next to him, a couple of your stuffed animals flying to the floor from the sheer force of his hand.
"So, what do you want to know?" Suguru questioned, running one of his fingers down the sheer material of your sleep shirt. Bunching up the thin material underneath his hands before slowly raising it up to your stomach. Abnormally cold hands slid up your torso, goosebumps forming instinctively at the touch.
"Why'd you murder the chickens? Not like we're missing any food at home," You looked over at the camera, making sure it was recording. And trying to avoid looking at Suguru. Was he still the person that you fell in love with? Well, clearly not.. but maybe, just maybe, the symbiote hadn't changed him?
You weren't sure how to deal with the possibility that the thing inside him had changed him completely. But Suguru was still gentle, his fingertips lightly caressing your body while he let out a small hum. Considering his answer.
"The thing inside me craves blood. Morning, day, and night. It's like an urge. An itch that I can't really control," Suguru moved his hand up your shirt, letting out a small hum. "I know that doesn't answer your question. Give me a bit."
Suguru grasped one of your breasts in his hand, rubbing his thumb against your areola. Feeling your nipples getting harder and harder underneath his fingertip, both from the cold seeping in through the slightly ajar window and his actions. He did the same to your right breast, slowly taking his time to move down your body. Eliciting all the goosebumps he could muster within you.
Suguru's fingers rubbed slightly against your clothed cunt, tracing the outline of your folds through the flimsy material. "Or better yet. Why do you think I murdered the chickens?" the deflection was smooth, even you had to admit that much. His fingers were just as smooth, sliding your panties to the side to reveal your already glistening cunt.
The two digits began moving in a scissoring motion, slowly starting to spread you open. It was hard to focus on the damn chickens when all you wanted was for him to keep going. Your hips bucked up to meet his hand, getting the slightest bit of friction against his palm. Just as soon as that sense of relief came over you, it was quickly ripped away.
Suguru pulled his fingers out of your pussy, bringing them up to his lips. Wrapping his lips around them and sucking on them like a decadent dish, rolling his eyes back. "I'll be nice, even though you didn't answer. Want a little taste?" You simply nodded at his question, leaning up to meet his lips. Suguru closed the gap in between you two, pressing his lips against your own.
The first thing you could taste was yourself, the taste clinging onto his lips for dear life. Your tongue ran over his bottom lip, picking up the remnants.
âIf I knew why'd you murdered the chickens, I wouldn't be asking," you pointed out, a small gasp leaving your lips. His thumb teased your clit yet again, teasing you to that crescendo before letting it drop again.
"But you're so smart, baby. I wanted to hear your thoughts on why chickens. Why not dogs? Why not cats?" Suguru spoke in puzzles, only serving to confuse you even further. "Come on, put that big brain to use and let me hear your thoughts."
"Because.. it's easier to overlook?" You blurted out the first thing that came to mind, trying to put your 'big brain' to use without blanking out completely.
Suguru clicked his tongue, nodding his head from his spot in between your legs. "Something like that, yeah. I thought no one would really notice if a couple chickens went missing," he looked up at you, amethyst eyes almost seeming to sparkle underneath the moon.
The only time where Suguru didn't feel like the hunger was all consuming was when he was in between your legs, eating you out to his heart's content (or until you had to pull him off you after the nth orgasm, either or). "Could smell you all the way outside the window. Such a good scent," he all but purred into your skin, completely removing your panties off.
Just how enhanced were his senses now? Maybe that should be your next question. If you remembered, that is.
Sharp canines grazed upon your inner thighs, the movement surprisingly gentle. For someone who'd just bit off a chicken's head with those same teeth, anyways. His long tongue licked a stripe up your inner thigh, sucking on the supple skin and savoring the taste all the while. Your hips bucked up in need of something more, only to quickly being pinned down by his hands.
"Let me take my time, princess. Savor this," He looked over at you, a firm grip on your thighs. "I'll give you what you want, I promise," Suguru hadn't even done anythingâand he was already starting to get delirious. He could practically taste you from here, could feel the scent of you completely invading his senses. All he could think about was you, you, and you.
The stretch of the symbiote's long, pink tongue as he pushed it in deeper into your cunt had you gripping the sheets beneath you all that much tighter. The silken sheets bunching up underneath your vice grip. Just the tongue was enough to reach up where your boyfriend's cock normally did.
You writhed against the silk bedsheets, your eyes struggling to stay open as the tongue pushed further inside of you. Filling you up with so much ease. It slowly retracted, pushing back inside of you with one swift motion. "D-Don't stop," you let out a gasp, your back arched while the tongue reached deep within you.
"So tasty," a low gravelly voice that didn't quite belong to Suguru sounded from the back of his throat. The different entity living within his body. "Don't get used to it," Suguru's voice came out muffled, tongue-deep inside of your cunt. His tongue eagerly lapped up and every drop of your slick, coating his mouth and chin.
He pulled away for the slightest bit, letting his spit dribble down on to your pussy. Watching intently at the way your walls clenched at just that, the way you twitched with just the lightest of movements. "F-Fuck, Sugu!" A whine left your lips, feeling his fingers push into you again. Curling them just right, hitting that sweet spot inside of you with each thrust.
"So good," he babbled against your cunt, the tip of his tongue swirling against your clit. "T-Taste so fucking good, I love you," Suguru rutted his hips pathetically onto the edge of the bed, leaving his precum onto the sheets. The hand that wasn't essentially knuckle-deep inside you wrapped around his cock, thrusting himself in time with your own.
The symbiote's tongue was quick, precise in the way that it flicked around your clit. Suguru swirled it around the nub, letting out mindless groans and babbles as he leaked further into his hand. Your cunt gushed around his fingersâsquelching with every thrust of his fingers he gave. You tightened up around them, your fingers digging in further into the bedsheets.
"G-Gonna cum, gonna cum," you babbled out, your toes curling. It was just so deep, so good, so much of everything. "Cum all over my fingers, pretty. Wanna taste you so bad," Suguru managed to get out through his own whines and babbles. You felt that pressure inside of you build up before finally releasingâcovering his fingers in your release when you came.
Suguru took his fingers out, replacing them with his tongue to lap up every last drop that started to leak down your thighs. With one final kiss against your folds, he pulled away to clean away his fingers. You sat up, coming face to face with his cock now that he was standing up.
And to call it a beast was short of an understatement.
Your swollen lips wrapped around the tip of his cock, struggling to completely get him inside of your mouth. It was just so.. thick. You looked up at him, your eyes starting to water up from the way your jaw was starting to slack. "You don't have to, princess," Suguru cooed down at you, wiping away your tears with his thumb. Though, even he would be a fool to deny this sight was anything short of perfect.
You looked absolutely sinful on your knees, your cheeks hollowing out in some attempt to ease the way down. You ignored the warning, slowly starting to bob your head down his shaft. Becoming complacent with the fact you wouldn't dare to try to take all of him inânot unless you wanted a quick trip to the hospital and an awkward explanation to the ER doctors.
With the spit pooled up in your mouth, you blew bubbles on the tip of Suguru's cock before letting it dribble down his shaft. One of your hands wrapped around the base, slowly starting to twist your wrist and start to jerk off what you couldn't reach. "F-Fuck, that's it, princess. So good," Suguru moaned out, one of his own hands resting on the back of your head.
"If you want me to keep goingâanswer me this. Have you hurt any civilians?" You pulled your mouth away, a string of saliva connecting you to the tip of his leaking cock. Suguru let out an exasperated groan, "No. I haven't. I don't want to hurt any people."
Even from this awkward angle on the floor, you could tell that he was telling the truth. Finally. You continued to drool on his cock, the filthy sounds of you gagging on it when the tip hit the back of your throat echoing through the thin walls. Your tongue traced through the thick veins on the sides, feeling Suguru's thighs twitch beside you.
"O-Oh f-fuck," Suguru bit on his fist, his head lolling back the more you tried to push his cock inside your mouth. Your tongue licked down the underside of his cock, going all the way to his heavy balls. You looked up to see Suguru struggling to meet your gaze, his chest heaving and strangled breaths leaving his lips.
Your tongue drew small circles on the sac before you took it in your mouth, sucking on them. "Wait, wait," Suguru started off, gently pulling you off, "Need to come inside you." He grabbed your hand, helping you off the floor.
Though the camera was still running on the nightstand, you decided to make mental notes of everything he was saying. Just in case. You weren't even completely sure if you'd remember by the end of the night. Suguru made himself comfortable just like at the start of the nightâand the pieces started to click together. No way the man wanted you to ride him now.
"S-Suguru, I can't," the words escaped your lips in a hiss, slowly impaling yourself onto the first two inches of the large cock underneath you. Not even enough to completely get the tip in. Each inch felt like it was splitting you apart all over again.
"Yes you can, you're taking it so well baby," Suguru cooed, watching as you slowly sunk yourself down on his cock. Squeezing the life out of him while you tried to find your momentum.
You could already imagine the words on your tombstoneâ death by monster dick.
Suguru placed his hands on your hips, gently squeezing the flesh to ease your movements. "There you go, that's it. That's it, take it for me," he encouraged your movements with each bounce you were giving on hisâthe symbiote's(?)âcock.
Suguru looked over to see his cock nudging a bulge in your tummy when he thrusted up into you, the sight nearly having him close to an orgasm again. He thrusted in deeper, watching how the tip protruded with each one. "S-Sugu, you're in too deep," you moaned out, practically feeling the man in your guts. And he wasn't even fully in. You wouldn't be surprised if he could reach your guts.
Your hips gyrated, trying to keep up some sense of rhythm. You pressed your hands firmly against their chest for some semblance of balance, feeling the goon underneath your fingertips sticking to your fingers. "Take it, take it," Suguru let out a moan of his own, his fingers digging into the soft skin of your hips. His feet pressed against the mattress, using you like a toy as he thrust himself in and out of your cunt.
"S-Sugu, too much, too much," you babbled out, struggling to keep up with the pace you'd set for yourself. That, and the absurdly big dick jackhammering you.
"You tired, baby?" His tone was sickly sweet as he spoke, pulling you off his cock and setting you down on the bed. "It's okay, I'll take care of you now. Just lay there and look pretty."
Suguru's body began to change back into its original form, the symbiote retreating back into his body. Thick, extensive tentacles protruded out of Suguru's back, each one wrapping around one of your limbs. Suguru slowly rubbed his cock across your folds, covering his length with your slick until it glistened against the moonlight peeking in through the windows.
Suguru slowly pushed the tip inside, feeling your walls tighten up against his shaft. "Is that better?" He looked down to watch for any signs of discomfort, and upon not finding any, he placed your legs up on his shoulders. Using the angle as leverage, hips snapping deeper inside of you.
"Taking everything I give you so well," his finger lightly caressed your cheek, the sharp thrust of his hips completely contradicting the gentleness he was trying to give. Your cunt covered his shaft with your slick, squelching as he slid it in and out of you. "Rub my clit, please, please," you let out a mewl, keeping your gaze directly on his own.
"Can't say no when you beg so pretty," His thumb slowly began to rub your clit, building up your orgasm for the second time tonight. Your walls clenched around him tightly, milking his cock in the process. Everything started to get too much, too little, you weren't really sure what you wanted. The only thing that you did know was, well, you wanted to cum.
âSo. Fucking. Tight," each of his words was pronounced with a thrust, sweat dripping down from his forehead and covering his skin. Your orgasm hit you like a wave, a moan leaving your lips as you came. It was both a sight and a sound that Suguru couldn't find himself getting tired of even if he tried. His own hips began to grow sloppy, his thrusts losing all sense of rhythm while his balls continued to grow heavier.
A groan erupted from the back of Suguru's throat, his head thrown back while his eyes barely managed to stay open. "Take it baby, it's all yours," Suguru let out a groan, his hips growing more erratic. Your messy pussy was pushing him closer and closer to his own orgasm. You simply nodded your head against the pillow, your nails digging into his forearm.
"Y-Yeah, all mine," your moan came out so sweetly, being the last thing to push Suguru over the edge. Ropes of cum spurted deep inside of your cunt, filling you up almost immediately. He didn't bother to move just yet, remaining buried deep inside of your cunt. The only thing that he did do was start to press slow, sloppy kisses on your calves before setting your legs down on the bed.
A soft whine left your lips when Suguru pulled out his twitching cock, the tentacles retreating back inside of him. Globs of cum dripped down out of you, streaming down your thighs and ass. "I never harmed anyone in what I've been doing, by the way. I don't want to harm anyone, I promise. I'm still your Suguru," he whispered, low enough to where your phone wouldn't pick it up.
"Still your Suguru. Your Suguru," Entrusting those words to you and you only. His thick fingers pushed inside of your dripping cunt, pushing his cum back inside of you. Filling you completely yet again. Suguru pulled out of you once again, wiping his hand off with a rag on the bed stand.
"You okay?" Suguru whispered, using the rag to gently wipe away the sweat that dribbled down your forehead. One of his hands reached down, fingertips gently rubbing against your thighs in a bleak attempt to soothe the ache.
"No, think you and that cock earlier might've broken me," you mumbled, your voice coming out hoarse. At this rate, you'd have a noise complaint taped to your front door first thing in the morning. Suguru reached over for the nightstand next to you, opening up a water bottle. "Sit up for me just a little."
Your body ached even further, pushing yourself so at least your head would be straight. "I know, I know it hurts," Did he really? Suguru took a hold of your chin, lightly tipping it up before giving you slow gulps of water. Your throat cleared up with each sip, but you could practically feel your body crying out underneath you with each second you stayed up.
"You're okay, pretty girl. I'll take care of you, did so good for me," Suguru murmured praises against your back, wrapping his arms around your stomach and keeping you close. Keeping you far warmer than any blanket you've bought as of yet.
Silence clung onto the room, but it was a comfortable silence this time around. All of the previous tension had disappeared, leaving the two of you spent. "I know you're still my Suguru, but thank you for answering the questions. You scared the shit out of me when you popped up in the suit."
"I know. Wouldn't hurt you or another person, though. Please trust me," Suguru peppered a kiss onto your upper back, continuing with his gentle motions. After nearly splitting your body in half, he was being delicate. Keeping you safe and assured.
Suguru looked over at the drawer where your phone rested, remembering all about the 'interview' he'd signed up for. "I'm gonna go see how photogenic we were, I'll be right back," He spoke quietly, pressing a small kiss onto your forehead before getting up from the squeaky mattress. It'd been a miracle that the old thing hadn't given out just from tonight.
"Yeah, okay," you spoke through ragged breaths, watching him stand up and move through the shadows of your room. Suguru took his time in picking your phone up and looking through it, watching every second of the 'film.'
"Think we're gonna have to do re-do the interview," Suguru noted, watching through the footage recorded. The phone had toppled over around 1/3 into the video, completely coming to a stop shortly after with a 'storage full' pop-up. Your chest heaved, barely registering any of the words he was saying. Interview..?
Oh, right. The Venom article you still had to finish writing. By tomorrow. Very important.
"You don't mind that right, baby?"
(a/n: this is like the first time iâve tried writing monsterfucking so if itâs buns, donât let me know â€ïž)
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Hihi can we please have a sneak peek of the exfwb to lovers fix you mentioned you were working on I'm so excited to read itđ„čđ„č
you can have a whole 1.6k sneak peek bc i love u all and the canucks continue to make us feel miserable and also bc this is my fave scene thus far in the fic. enjoy jealous quinny <3
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The party hums around him, all laughter and low conversations mingling with the soft thrum of music echoing off the lake. The sunset paints the horizon in burnt orange and purple, but Quinn canât focus on anything except you. And not in the way he normally does, with the familiar warmth of having you close â no, this was different. This is sharp and biting, twisting low in his stomach like a knot he canât untangle.
Because youâre smiling at someone else.
âMan, youâre not even listening,â Trevor says, nudging Quinnâs shoulder with a beer bottle.
 Quinn blinks, dragging his eyes away from you for a second too long, his lips pressing into a tight line. Trevor follows his gaze, his brow quirking when he sees where Quinnâs attention has been stuck.
âWait,â Trevor starts, leaning in slightly with a grin. âIs that â holy shit, is she flirting with that guy?â His voice is half amused, half incredulous, but all it does is tighten the knot in Quinnâs chest.
âI donât know,â Quinn mutters, turning the bottle in his hand.
âOh, come on. Thatâs definitely flirting,â Trevor continues, the grin widening. âThatâs Jackâs buddy, isnât it? Guyâs got no shot, though, right? Sheâsââ
âCan you not?â Quinn interrupts, his voice sharper than he means it to be. Trevorâs grin falters, and he raises his hands in mock surrender.
âAlright, alright. Iâll leave you to⊠whatever this is,â Trevor says, backing off with a shrug, though his gaze lingers on Quinn for a moment, a flicker of curiosity in his expression before he wanders off.
Quinn leans back against the deck railing, his beer growing warm in his hand as he watches you from across the yard. The guy is leaning in just a little too close, his laugh too loud, his hand brushing yours in a way that makes Quinnâs jaw tighten. You donât pull away. Worse, you laugh back, tilting your head like whatever heâs saying is the funniest thing youâve heard all night.
It isnât the first time Quinn has seen you flirt with someone â it comes with the territory of being friends, or whatever the hell you are. But this time, it feels different. He hates how easily the guy makes you laugh, how he is saying all the right things, drawing you in with that stupid, effortless charm. This isnât supposed to bother him. You arenât his. Not anymore â not that you ever really were.Â
And God, it does. It burns.
He tells himself he doesnât have the right to feel this way. Youâd made it clear â things are over, the line between friendship and something more firmly redrawn. Youâd both agreed, hadnât you? Yet here he is, standing in the shadow of his own deck, practically vibrating with the urge to march over there and put an end to it.
âYo, Quinn!â Jackâs voice cuts through his haze, light with curiosity. Quinn forces himself to glance away, focusing on his brother as he approaches. âWhatâre you staring at?â
âNothing,â he says too quickly, his voice tight. Jack follows his line of sight, and when he spots you, his brows lift in surprise.
âOh,â Jack says, drawing the word out. âSheâs been talking to him all night. Heâs a good guy, you know. Smart, funnyââ
âYeah, great,â Quinn cuts him off, his tone clipped and final.
Jack frowns, his curiosity clearly piqued but deciding not to push. Instead, he launches into a long-winded tangent about the game they played the last time they were at the lake house, his hands gesturing animatedly as he recounts some ridiculous move Luke pulled off on the dock that ended with everyone soaked.
Quinn takes a long sip of his beer, the bitterness doing little to distract him from the pang in his chest. He glances away, forcing himself to look anywhere but at you, to shove the jealousy down somewhere deep and immovable, like he always does when it comes to you. The laughter of his brothers, the flicker of the string lights overhead, even the waves lapping gently at the dock. But his gaze finds its way back to you, time and time again, like gravity has shifted to centre solely on you.
And then it happens.
Your hand drifts to the guyâs arm, light as a whisper, a touch so casual it might seem accidental to anyone else. But not to Quinn. He knows you â knows the quiet intention behind every gesture you make. He sees the way your fingers linger, your thumb brushing just barely over the fabric of his sleeve, like youâre testing the waters, letting this guy know he has your attention.Â
And the guy? He notices immediately. His grin stretches wider, his posture straightens like heâs just hit the jackpot, and suddenly, heâs leaning in closer, his laugh dropping an octave, smooth and practiced. Quinn doesnât need to hear the words to know exactly whatâs being said, the way the guyâs body language shifts â open, inviting, cocky. Itâs infuriating.
Quinn feels his stomach twist, a sharp, ugly pang of jealousy curling low and hot in his chest. His grip tightens around the neck of his beer, the glass growing slippery in his hand as his jaw sets hard. He can feel it â the heat rising under his skin, the bitter taste of resentment burning the back of his throat. This is ridiculous, he tells himself. But knowing that doesnât stop the burning, twisting ache that flares every time the guyâs hand comes dangerously close to yours.
But itâs useless. His attention snaps back, drawn as if youâre tethered together by some inviolable string, to the way youâre standing just a little too close, the way you laugh too easily at whatever idiotic joke the guy has just told.
Quinnâs chest tightens, his fingers tapping an uneven rhythm against the neck of his beer, each beat an outlet for the frustration coiling tighter in his chest. He tells himself to let it go, to shove the jealousy down deep where heâs buried everything else about you â the feelings heâs not supposed to have anymore. But then your hand lingers again, this time softer, your fingertips grazing over the guyâs skin, and something inside him snaps. His pulse spikes, his jaw clenches, and the bitter taste of jealousy rises, unrelenting.
He feels unmoored, a storm building just beneath his ribcage, and no amount of deep breathing is enough to calm it. His instincts scream at him to move, to intervene, to shatter the moment unfolding in front of him. But he doesnât. He canât. Instead, he stays rooted to the spot, his beer warm in his hand, his eyes betraying him as they keep flicking back to you.
When the guy leans in closer, his laugh low and confident, itâs too much. Quinnâs shoulders go rigid, and he turns sharply, retreating into the house under the pretence of grabbing another beer.Â
âBe right back,â he mutters, back already turned before anyone can question him.
He strides into the kitchen, the cool air brushing against his face as he yanks the fridge door open. His hand rests on the edge of the door, fingers tapping absently as he stares into the shelves without really seeing anything. The chill against his skin does little to temper the heat crawling up his neck or the way his pulse still pounds in his ears.
The sound of the back door creaking open is followed by familiar footsteps, and moments later, Jack appears in the doorway, arms crossed, his expression caught somewhere between curiosity and concern.
âYou good?â Jack asks, his tone light but pointed, a faint thread of amusement weaving through it.
Quinn doesnât look up, his jaw tightening as he keeps his focus on the rows of condiments.
Jackâs watching him, brows raised, waiting for a response. But Quinn doesnât have one â not one he can say out loud, anyway. He canât tell his brother whatâs gnawing at him because no one ever knew. No one knew about the late nights, the secret glances, the way you and Quinn blurred every line until you were both too tangled to see where friendship ended and something else began, until the only thing clear was how much it hurt when you walked away.
Not even Jack.
So instead of spilling whatâs really on his mind, he shrugs, feigning nonchalance that feels like it might crack under the weight of his frustration.Â
âJust tired,â he mutters, tipping the warm beer to his lips like itâs a shield. He doesnât meet Jackâs eyes, hoping the excuse is enough to deflect.
Jack leans back, the edge of the counter catching his hip, and his brows lift slightly, skeptical but willing to let it go.Â
âAlright,â he says after a moment, his tone light but not entirely without weight. Thereâs something knowing in it, a brotherly intuition that Quinn wishes wasnât so sharp.Â
âBut, you know,â Jack adds, his voice easy but edged with meaning, âyou donât have to be so tough all the time. If somethingâs up, you can just say it.â
Quinn exhales, a quiet, frustrated sound that doesnât quite pass for a laugh. But he doesnât answer, his eyes flicking toward the back door. He doesnât need to talk â what good would it do? Explaining any of it would mean peeling back layers heâs spent months trying to bury. Layers of wanting you, missing you, resenting the way you could move on so easily when he couldnât.
The knot in his chest twists tighter as he catches another faint ripple of laughter from the yard, your laughter, and he canât help but wonder if youâre as carefree as you seem, or if itâs just another thing youâre better at pretending. Because if anyone knew how to pretend, it was Quinn. And right now, heâs pretending it doesnât tear him apart to see you looking at someone else the way he wishes youâd still look at him.
#i kind of lost steam for the fic and haven't added to it in like a week but its ok! good things take time or whatever <3#capquinnchats#capquinn's writing#quinn hughes
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Lullaby
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where the reader's connection with Lennon gives Liam no choice but to make a move.
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As you pulled up to Liamâs house, you glanced at the little bag sitting on the passenger seat, the handles carefully tied in a neat bow. Inside was a small present for Lennon, a scarf you knew heâd been dreaming about since the last time you saw him.
People always joked that you didnât come around for Liam anymore, but for his son, and you couldnât deny itâyou and Lennon just clicked. Whether it was kicking a football around the back garden or spending hours colouring together, you adored the little lad.
You grabbed the bag and headed to the door, knocking twice before stepping back. It didnât take long for the door to swing open, revealing Liam in his usual slightly disheveled state. He leaned against the doorframe, a smirk tugging at his lips. âWell, well, whatâs this then? A gift for me?â
You rolled your eyes, holding the bag up with a grin. âNot for you mate, this is for Lennon. Last time I was here, he mentioned he wanted a Man City scarf, like the ones we saw all the fans have on the telly during the derby. Couldnât resist.â
Liamâs smirk deepened, his eyes flicking from the bag to your face. âRight soft spot youâve got for that lad, eh? Whatâs next? Knittinâ him a jumper?â
Before you could fire back, you heard the sound of small footsteps padding toward the door. âIs that Y/N?â Lennonâs voice carried through the hallway, and seconds later, he appeared, his wide eyes lighting up when he saw you.
You stepped inside, crouching down to meet him with a warm hug. âHi, sweetheart!â you said, ruffling his hair. âGot summat for you.â
When you handed him the bag his little hands fumbled with the bow before pulling out the scarf, his face lighting up with happiness. Without hesitation, he wrapped it around his neck, though it was much too long, trailing on the floor as he began running in circles around the living room. âThank you, Y/N!â he called out, his voice full of excitement.
You laughed, watching him dart around the room. âYouâre welcome, Lennon. But maybe donât trip over it, yeah?â
Liam leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching the scene unfold. His smirk had softened into something more thoughtful as his gaze flickered between you and his son. âBloody hell love, youâre makinâ the rest of us look bad. Canât compete with that.â
âMaybe you should tryâ you shot back with a wink, and Liam barked out a laugh, shaking his head.
Both of you sat on the couch, brews in hand, talking over the plans for the evening. The group had planned a casual get-together at one of your favourite pubs, and you were both set to leave in a couple of hours.
âAre you ready to go or still need to powder your nose a bit love?â Liam teased, eyeing you over the rim of his cup.
âOh, donât worry, mate. If anyone here is getting their nose powdered it's you.â you shot back with a grin, and he laughed, shaking his head.
Before he could come up with another quip, Lennon popped into the room, clutching a box of crayons and a fresh stack of paper. âY/N, will you draw with me?â
Liam opened his mouth to protest, âOi, we're talkiââ
âCourse I will, Lennon,â you interrupted, setting your brew aside and standing up. âWeâve got plenty of time, donât we, Liam?â
Liam rolled his eyes but waved you off with a smile. âGo on then, Picasso. Donât say I didnât warn ya when he runs you ragged.â
Settling at the coffee table Lennon pulled you into his little world. The two of you got to work, the crayons were thrown around as you sketched and coloured alongside him. Every so often, heâd glance at your paper and nod approvingly, though he was careful to keep his own drawing hidden.
âWhatâre you making, then?â you asked, craning your neck to sneak a peek.
Lennon quickly shielded the page with his arms, his brow furrowed in mock seriousness. âYouâll see when itâs done. No peeking!â
You and Liam exchanged a look, both of you laughing at his theatrics.
After another twenty minutes, Lennon sat back, beaming with pride. âFinished!â he announced, holding up his masterpiece for both of you to see.
Your breath hitched. On the page were three figures drawn in a rather messy manner but it was possible to make out that it was Lennon in the middle with Liam on one side and you on the other. The three of you were holding hands, standing in front of what was unmistakably Liamâs house.
Liamâs teasing smirk vanished in an instant, replaced by a stunned silence. Your face flushed red as you stared at the drawing, your heart thudding in your chest.
âOh, Lennon,â you managed, forcing a smile so he wouldnât think heâd done anything wrong. âItâs beautiful. Look at that detailâyouâve really outdone yourself.â
âYou like it?â Lennon asked, his eyes shining.
âOf course I do!â you assured him, pulling him into a hug. âItâs amazing, sweetheart.â
He hugged you back tightly, his small arms wrapped around your neck. âCan we put it on the fridge? With the others?â
You nodded, still feeling the warmth in your cheeks. âAbsolutely. Letâs go find a magnet for it.â
Lennon grabbed your hand and tugged you toward the kitchen, the drawing clutched in his other hand. Liam remained on the couch, watching you both disappear down the hallway.
As he stared after you, something twisted in his chest. Watching you with Lennonâhow natural it seemed, how much joy you brought himâwas almost too much to process. And now, seeing you in Lennonâs drawing, as if you were already part of the family...
Liam leaned back, running a hand through his hair. He felt that familiar warm ache in his chest, the same one that had been creeping in every time he saw the two of you together.
He was still lost in thought when the nanny arrived, just as you were putting on your coat and getting ready to leave. Lennon, of course, wasnât too thrilled about it, standing at the door with his little arms crossed.
âCâmon, mate,â Liam said, ruffling his hair. âSheâs sound, yeah? Just be good to her. We wonât be gone long.â
You crouched down, your voice softening as you spoke. âIâll bring you back some chips, okay? But only if you behave.â
That did the trick. Lennonâs pout disappeared, replaced by a grin as he clapped his hands together. âPromise?â
âPromise,â you said, holding out your pinky for him to link his with.
On the drive to the pub, you and Liam fell into the usual rhythmâteasing, laughing, winding each other up over the silliest things. By the time you got there, the warm glow of the place made it easy to settle in.
The two of you had joined a table with a few of Liamâs mates, sharing a plate of chips while Liam nursed his pint.
âYâgonna share those, or am I supposed to starve?â he asked, nudging the plate toward himself.
You rolled your eyes, sliding it closer to him. âDidnât realize I was babysitting two kids tonight.â
He snorted, smirking. âCheeky.â
The night carried on like that for a while, the noise and laughter of the pub filling the space around you until Liamâs phone buzzed on the table.
He glanced at the screen, his expression softening when he saw Lennonâs name. âOne sec,â he said, swiping to answer. âAlright, lad, whatâs up? Everything okay?â
Whatever Lennon said made him laugh quietly, his tone going all warm and soft in that way it only did for his son. âYeah, sheâs here. Hang on.â He held the phone out to you with a smirk. âHe wants you.â
You blinked in surprise but took the phone. âHi sweetheart! Whatâs going on?â
Liam leaned back, watching as your face lit up while you listened. Whatever Lennon was saying had you grinning and nodding along, your voice dipping into that gentle tone you always seemed to have for him.
Then you covered the mic with your hand and turned to Liam. âHe wants me to sing him a lullaby so he can fall asleep. Iâll just step outsideâitâs too loud in here.â
Liam chuckled, shaking his head. âOf course he does. Go on then.â
You flashed him a quick smile before weaving through the crowd toward the front door. Even as you left Liamâs eyes stayed fixed on the spot where youâd been standing, his mind suddenly too loud for the noise of the pub to drown out.
He tipped his head back, letting out a quiet breath.
It wasnât just that Lennon adored you. It was the way you lit up every time you saw him, the way you gave him your full attention, like he was the most important kid in the world. And it wasnât just with Lennon, it was with Liam too.
Youâd slipped into his life so naturally, like you were always meant to be there. From the banter to the laughs to the quiet moments that didnât need wordsâit all felt just right.
And now his son was calling you for lullabies instead of him. If that didnât spell it out, he didnât know what would.
With a muttered excuse to the table, Liam pushed his chair back and stood. He didnât have a plan, didnât know what he was going to say, but he knew he couldnât sit there any longer.
You lowered the phone from your ear, a soft smile lingering on your face as you finished the call. âAlright, love, get some sleep, yeah? Sweet dreams.â With that, you hung up and turned, startled to find Liam standing there in the cool night air.
âOh, hi, Liam,â you said, tucking his phone into your pocket. âDidnât realize you came out.â
He stood a few steps away, hands shoved into his coat pockets, his usual smirk replaced by something more uncertain. His eyes searched yours, and for a moment, he just stood there, as though working up the nerve to speak.
âIâuh, I know this might be a bit sudden,â he began, his voice quieter than usual. He cleared his throat, glancing away before meeting your gaze again. âBut I need to say it. I canât keep just thinkinâ it and not doinâ owt about it.â
You tilted your head, your heart already picking up pace. âLiam?â
âIâve been a bit daft, havenât I?â he said with a nervous laugh. âYouâre always âround, yeah? Always there for Lennon, for me, and itâs not just that youâre good with him, Itâs the way you make everything⊠brighter. Easier. And Iâve been sat there, thinkinâ I canât bottle this by sayinâ summat stupid, but I canât keep quiet no more. Iâm quite mad about you, love. Have been for ages.â
Your breath caught in your throat, the warmth of his words washing over you. For a moment, you couldnât quite believe what you were hearing.
When you didnât speak right away, Liam shifted on his feet, suddenly looking nervous. âIf thatâs too much, I get it. Justââ
âYes,â you interrupted, your voice soft but firm.
He blinked, his brows lifting. âWhat?â
âYes,â you repeated, stepping closer. âI feel the same, Liam. Iâve just been too scared to ruin what we already have.â
A grin broke across his face and before you could say another word, his hands were on your face, pulling you into a kiss. It was slow at first, but quickly deepened, all the unspoken feelings and tension from the past months spilling over.
Your arms found their way around his neck, pulling him closer as his lips moved against yours, soft yet insistent.
When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, foreheads resting together as Liam chuckled, his voice warm and full of affection. âWell, that was long overdue, eh?â
You laughed, still feeling the heat of his lips on yours. âJust a bit.â
He leaned back slightly, his hands still on your waist as his grin turned cheeky. âYâknow, Lennonâs gonna lose it when he finds out. The kidâll be over the moon.â
You couldnât help but smile at the thought, your heart swelling. âThink so?â
âThink so?â he echoed with a laugh. âAre you mad? Heâll probably start planninâ the weddinâ.â
You swatted his arm, but the happiness in his voice was infectious, and you couldnât stop yourself from pulling him into another kiss.
_________________________________________
awwwww I love this kind of trope !! kinda want to write summat similar but for Noel, it's just so dead cute xx
per usual big up to the one and only @shes-thunderstormssss her story requesting mind knows no boundaries, love ya so much xx
#oasis x reader#oasis one shots#oasis band#britpop x f!reader#britpop x reader#britpop fanfiction#liam gallagher x reader#liam gallagher x you#liam gallagher one shots#liam gallagher fanfiction#liam gallagher#oasis
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A second chapter to this fanfic.
Trigger Warning: This fic depicts a semi visceral scene of r4p3 and suicide.
Anya's fingers fumbled with the caps of the painkillers, one after the other, their plastic clicks sweeping through the sterile, suffocating quiet of the room. Once all were opened, she dumped a handful of capsules into her palm; a kaleidoscope of colours bright against her pale complexion. Ironic, she thought, that death came in such cheerful packages. As she braced herself for the bland taste she knew they'd leave on her tongue, her stomach churned, a sharp ache gnawing at her from within.
"Enough," she said, rubbing the spot absently. "You won't change my mind."
Exhausted, she collapsed into her chair, her back turned to the rusted frame of the gurney behind her. As her knee bumped the desk, the bottles clattered softly, a sound too lyrical for the weight they carried. For a while, she simply stared at the pills in her hand, taking note of her calm demeanour. She wasn't scared or shaking. She'd never been more sure, more confident of anything in her life.
It was gratifying. Peaceful.
Slowly, she brought the pills to her lips, until a thin, mewling cry pierced the silence. Her hand froze mid-air, and she turned to see Curly, his lone eye shimmering under the red fluorescent light. It stared at her, unblinking, like an anchor pulling her back from the edge.
"Captain..." she murmured.
For a long moment, neither moved. Then, forcing a smile, Anya stood, her legs trembling but determined. Gathering the bottles, she carried them to the gurney and placed them carefully beside Curly's bandaged head.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, brushing her matted hair behind her ear. "I was so caught up in myself for once... I forgot you were here." A soft, bitter chuckle escaped her throat. "Jimmy was right. I'm not a very good doctor after all."
Curly moaned weakly, his voice a rasping medley of pain and longing. His eye followed her hands as she arranged the bottles in a neat row, the ingredients blurred, though he knew them by heart.
"Do you want to come with me?" she asked, her voice cracking.
He moaned again, the sound low and mournful. Gently, Anya cupped his head and tilted it upwards, her fingers cool against his fragile, burning skin.
"It would've been kinder to do this before..." Her gaze wandered to the stumps where his feet and hands used to be. "Before all of this. Keeping you alive... maybe it was cruel."
As she touched the handful of pills to his teeth, Curly let out a louder, more desperate groan, his body twitching. He tried to turn his head, his intent clear despite his limited movement.
"You..." Anya paused, staring down at him. "You want to live?"
Curly whimpered, his chest heaving. His eye twinkled with something she hadn't yet seenâdefiance, hope, or perhaps nothing more than a naĂŻve refusal to let go.
"Why?" she asked, her voice breaking. "You're in constant pain. I see it. I hear it."
Her hand hovered under his chin, his eye darting back and forth from the pills to her face. He tried so hard, aiming to knock them loose. And then she understood. Tears welled in her eyes as she watched his pitiful flails, frustration surging through an expression she could no longer see.
"Stop!"
Curly, tall and imposing, pinned her against the wall, his fingers wrapping around her slender wrist until her grip waned and the capsules spilled to the floor, their gelatin casings scratching against the scuffed linoleum. The regret, the sorrow in his sky blue eyes as he pulled her into a tender hug made her heart skip a beat.
"Stop..." he begged, his blond locks tickling her cheek. "I promise, Jimmy won't get away with it. I'll lock him in the cryo-pods until we reach the colony. Then he'll be court-martialled and incarcerated for the rest of his life." His arms were a comfort, warm and inviting. "I'll keep you safe."
Anya laughed, gently laying his head back against the gurney, his dressings reeking of blood and pus.
"You can't save me," she choked. "Maybe... maybe you could have, once, but not now."
Curly sobbed at her words, his chest rising and falling in shallow gasps. His eye glistened, flicking about, as if trying to form an apology, but Anya shook her head.
"I hear you crying when... when he's with you," she admitted, her voice hollow. "I cried the same way when he came to my room."
Curly's dry eye dampened, his gaze snapping, pleading.
"I can't leave you with him," she muttered. "Despite everything, you don't deserve it. So pleaseâ"
Open your mouth and swallow!
Anya retched, lurching forward, bile rising in her throat. Her mind spun as Jimmy's shadow loomed over her, his demands vile, his pungent stench stinging her nostrils. Cigarettes and sweatâso common, always close. Hands that never should have touched her, a phantom pressure she never should have felt, forced its way inside.
I hope this hurts.
Agony.
When Anya woke, it was to the sounds of someone else's suffering. Time felt unreal, stretched and distorted. She wasn't sure how long the memory had consumed her, but as her vision cleared, reality struck her like a whip. Her free hand, much to her horror, was pushing against Curly's arm, holding her upright. His pain was unbearable as he squirmed beneath her.
"Oh my gosh!" she yelled, immediately jerking back. "Sorry! I'm so sorry!"
Curly snivelled, his forgiveness apparent, though the anguish lingered, laced through every nerve and disfigured muscle.
"I... I can't... can't make you," she wheezed. "Even if it's a mercy... I can't." She caught her breath, her hand drifting to her stomach. "But I can't have this baby either. I don't want to. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I... I can't stand having any part of him inside me a second longer." She chuckled, the sound devoid of happiness. "And what if it's a girl? Can you imagine anything worse? In a world like this... who would protect her?"
Curly gagged, an impossible tear squeezing through his scorched, dehydrated puncta.
"And I'm sure you know no one is coming to save us," she continued. "It's just us here, stranded on some moon, with no supplies, doomed to disappear."
Suddenly, the distant echo of the utility wing's doors sliding open reverberated through the vents, but Anya didn't flinch.
"I'm going," she said. "What do you want to do?"
Again she offered Curly the pills, but he somehow managed to turn his head, his decision as final as hers. For a moment, she stared at him, bewildered, before a faint, broken smile crept across her face.
"Right," she mumbled, her voice barely audible. "A responsible captain always goes down with his ship. That's what you used to say."
With no hesitation, she threw her head back and shoved the pills into her mouth. The vulgar taste flooded her senses, but she welcomed it, her throat straining to force them down while Curly wailed in protest. His feeble limbs thrashed against the mattress, another tear seeping from his ravaged glands before soaking into the fabric of his bandages. By the time she reached the second bottle, his body was spent, panting and sore, the fight in him fading with the consequences of his failures.
"Farewell..." Anya whispered, her vision already staring to blur.
Her hand found Curly's shoulder, giving him a soothing touch of comfortâthe last he ever felt. Then, she sank to the floor, her head slumping against the gurney. The room soon filled with the harrowing sounds of ragged coughs and violent spasms, while Curly lay helpless, his eye fixed on the cork board across from him.
All he could do was listen.
#mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#anya#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#curly#wrong organ#jimmy mouthwashing#jimmy#tw r4p3
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Under Pressure | Part 3
Modern!Bucky x reader AU
Word Count:3.8k
Warnings: Mentions of su!cide attempt, depression, angst
A/N: TB to when this was suppose to only be one long ass cliff hanger fic lol
Masterpost
----
The flashing red and blue lights from the emergency vehicles cast harsh, flickering shadows through the window. The apartment felt heavy, suffocatingly silent except for the muffled voices of police officers speaking quietly near the door.
Sam took the stairs two at a time, his heart pounding in his chest. He could feel the weight of dread pressing down on him, cold and unforgiving, all the what ifs racing through his mind. When he reached your door, he froze for half a second, taking in the sceneâthe paramedics gone, the cops now lingering, and Bucky.
Bucky was sitting on your couch, his head bowed, his elbows braced on his knees. His hands were clasped together so tightly they were shaking, his knuckles white. He didnât look up when Sam stepped inside.
âBuck,â Sam said, his voice hesitant, already cracking.
Slowly, Bucky turned his head, his red-rimmed eyes meeting Samâs. They were hollow, haunted, like he wasnât entirely there, looking at him like you were no longer here.
âNo, no, no,â Sam muttered under his breath, panic creeping into his voice as he moved toward him.
Buckyâs face crumpled, and he buried it in his hands, a sound breaking out of him that Sam had never heard before. It wasnât a sob; it was deeper, more guttural, like the sound of someone being torn apart.
Samâs stomach dropped, his legs shaky as he turned to one of the officers. âWhere is she?â he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
The cop opened his mouth to respond, but Sam couldnât hear him. His own heartbeat was too loud, a deafening thrum in his ears. He stumbled closer, his voice louder this time, more desperate. âWhere is she? Is she alive?â
One of the officers, a woman with a calm but tired demeanor, stepped forward. âYes,â she said firmly. âSheâs alive. The paramedics got her heart beating again before they transported her to the hospital.â
Samâs knees nearly buckled as the tension in his body released slightly. He turned back to Bucky, whose head was still in his hands. âSheâs alive, man,â Sam said, his voice shaking. âYou hear that? Sheâs alive.â
Bucky nodded faintly, but it was like he couldnât fully absorb the words. He just stared at the floor, tears streaking down his face.
Sam sank onto the couch beside him, leaning forward to catch his breath. âCan we have a minute?â he asked the officers, his voice raw.
The female officer nodded. âWe have everything we need. Weâll be outside to make sure the apartment gets locked up before you leave.â She paused, her voice softening. âFifteen minutes.â
Sam nodded, pulling out his phone with trembling hands and sending a quick text to Steve:
Sam: Code red. Something happened to y/n. Meet us at the ER..
He turned to Bucky, who still hadnât moved. Sam hesitated for a moment, then pulled him into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend. Bucky didnât react at first, but then he let out a broken sob, clinging to Sam like he was the only thing keeping him grounded.
âWhat happened, Buck?â Sam asked gently, his voice low but steady.
Bucky pulled back slightly, his hands shaking as he gestured toward the floor. âShe was there,â he said, his voice trembling. âRight there.â His finger pointed to the spot where the paramedics had worked on you. âShe was gone. She⊠she was dead, Sam. I saw her, she was deadâŠshe died.â
Samâs throat tightened, his eyes darting to the empty pill bottle sitting on the coffee table. He felt like the air had been sucked out of the room.
âWas itâŠ?â Sam started, his voice faltering. âWas it an attempt?â
Bucky shook his head violently, his jaw clenching as he tried to force the words out. âIt wasnât an attempt,â he said bitterly, his voice cracking. âShe was successful.â His shoulders shook as another sob broke free. âShe was gone, Sam. Theyâthey were gonna call it.â
Samâs chest tightened painfully, tears burning in his eyes as he stared at his friend. âOh, my God.â
âI made them try again,â Bucky said, his voice barely above a whisper. His hands trembled as he gripped his knees. âI begged them. Told them to go one more time. Just one more. And they⊠they brought her back. But, Sam, IâŠâ He choked on his words, shaking his head. âI lost her. She was gone.â
Sam reached out, gripping Buckyâs shoulder tightly. âSheâs not gone, Buck. Sheâs alive.â
Buckyâs breath hitched, his tears falling harder. âBut she doesnât want to be! What if sheâŠâ He trailed off, his voice breaking completely.
Samâs own tears slipped down his cheeks as he shook his head. âWeâre not gonna let that happen,â he said firmly. âWeâre gonna be there for her. Every step of the way.â
Bucky nodded weakly, his shoulders slumping as he leaned into Samâs side, utterly spent.
The two of them sat in silence for a moment, the weight of everything pressing down on them. The apartment was quiet now, the flashing lights from outside casting eerie patterns across the walls.
----
The fluorescent lights of the hospital waiting room buzzed faintly, casting a cold, sterile glow over the space. The chairs were stiff and uncomfortable, arranged in neat rows that felt far too orderly for the chaos swirling in Buckyâs mind.
He sat slumped forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his head bowed as his hands fidgeted with a fraying thread on his jeans. His breathing was shallow, fast, his shoulders tight with tension. Every now and then, he glanced at the doors leading to the emergency ward, willing someone to walk through them and tell him you were okay. He hoped that maybe this would just be some sick nightmare because that's what it felt like.
Sam sat beside him, quiet but not calm, his knee bouncing restlessly as he stared at the floor. He kept glancing at Bucky, unsure if he should say something, do something, but the sheer anguish radiating from his friend made him hesitate. Sam was crushed, you were one of his best friends, he knew he should have tried more but at the same time he felt like he had. He kept replaying all the most recent moments he had spent with you, analyzing everything, how could he have not noticed any of the signs, he was trained to look for the signs.
The sound of hurried footsteps pulled Samâs attention, and he looked up to see Steve and Natasha rushing into the waiting room. Natashaâs red hair was slightly disheveled, her face pale and pinched with worry, while Steveâs brows were furrowed in confusion and concern.
âBucky!â Steve called, his voice sharp as his eyes scanned his friend. âSam! What the hell is going on? What happened? Was she in an accident?â
Bucky didnât look up. He didnât even flinch at Steveâs voice. He stayed hunched over, his jaw clenched tightly.
Sam cleared his throat, his voice shaky as he tried to find the right words. âNo,â he said quietly, his gaze dropping to the floor.
âThen what?â Steve demanded, his frustration and fear mounting. âWhat happened? Why are we here?â
Sam hesitated, glancing at Bucky before looking back at Steve. His throat tightened as the words clawed their way out. âYou remember high school? When Bucky told us Y/N⊠got sad? Like, really sad? And sometimesâŠâ His voice cracked, and he swallowed hard, forcing himself to continue. âShe didnât wanna be alive anymore?â
Steveâs expression shifted instantly, his eyes widening as the memory slammed into him. âYeah, I remember,â he said, his voice low, almost a whisper. âBut she was getting better, right? She wasâŠâ He trailed off, his gaze darting between Sam and Bucky, desperate for reassurance. âShe was getting better. Right?â
Samâs lips quivered, and he shook his head slightly, the weight of his next words crushing him. âShe tried to, Steve,â he said, his voice breaking. âShe tried to.â
Steve froze, his face contorting with a mix of shock and disbelief. âWhat?â he breathed, his voice barely audible. âI⊠I need to hear it, Sam. Tell me what happened.â
Sam looked over at Bucky, who still hadnât moved. His face was blank, but his knuckles were white as he gripped the edge of his jeans.
âShe tried to take her life,â Sam said finally, his voice trembling with the effort it took to say the words.
âNo,â Natasha whispered, her voice breaking as she shook her head violently. âNo, no, no. She wouldnâtâŠâ
âShe did,â Bucky said suddenly, his voice sharp and bitter as he lifted his head. His eyes were bloodshot, his expression filled with anger and pain. âAnd youâre shocked? Really? After what you said to her? After the way you dismissed her?â
Natasha flinched as if sheâd been slapped. âBuckyââ
âNo!â he snapped, standing abruptly. His voice was louder now, filled with years of pent-up frustration and guilt. âYou told her you didnât want to be her friend anymore because she couldnât show up for you. You told her she wasnât there for your brightest moments, and then you walked away. You fucking walked away. We all walked away!â â
âBucky, stop, it's no one's fault, we couldnât have seen it coming.â Steve said, his voice calm but firm, stepping forward, but Bucky turned on him too, his chest heaving.
âAre you kidding me? We're all at fault! Were shitty fucking friends!â Bucky shouted, his voice breaking as he pointed toward the emergency doors. âNone of us saw it coming because we were all too busy pretending she was fine!â
Sam stood, placing a hand on Buckyâs shoulder. âBucky, stop,â he said softly, his own voice thick with emotion. âShe wouldnât want us turning on each other.â
Bucky let out a bitter, hollow laugh, his shoulders shaking. âShe didnât want any of this, Sam! She didnât want life, and she didnât want us. She wanted to leave, and she almostââ His voice cracked, and he turned away, running a hand down his face as tears spilled over.
Natasha stepped forward, tears streaming down her cheeks as she looked at Bucky. âWhere is she?â she asked, her voice trembling. âWhat exactly happened?â
Bucky didnât turn around. His hands gripped the back of one of the waiting room chairs so tightly it creaked under the pressure.
âThey worked on her,â he said, his voice hollow. âShe was gone. Right there on her living room floor.â He gestured toward the floor as if he were still standing in your apartment. âShe was dead, Nat. I begged them to try one more time, and they did, and⊠and she came back.â
Natashaâs hand flew to her mouth, a muffled sob escaping as she stumbled back into Steveâs arms.
Steve held her tightly, his own tears pooling in his eyes as he looked at Bucky. âSo sheâs alive?â he asked, his voice unsteady.
Bucky nodded, his back still to them. âSheâs alive. Barely.â
The room fell silent, the weight of his words settling over them like a storm cloud. No one spoke for a long moment, the only sound the faint hum of hospital machinery in the distance.
Finally, Sam cleared his throat, his voice steady but quiet. âWeâre here now. For her. For each other. Weâll figure this out. Together.â
Bucky didnât respond. He just nodded, his shoulders slumping as he sank back into the chair. His hands shook as he rubbed his face, the weight of everything pressing down on him like a vice.
The waiting room was thick with tension, Bucky sat slumped in his chair, his head in his hands, tears streaking down his face as he tried to hold himself together. Sam sat beside him, occasionally glancing toward the emergency doors, his leg bouncing nervously. Steve and Natasha were across from them, Natashaâs hands clasped tightly in her lap, her knuckles white as her nails dug into her palms.
When the door finally opened, all four of them looked up simultaneously, their breath hitching as a doctor stepped inside. The doctor was a middle-aged man with a kind but exhausted expression, his white coat slightly wrinkled, a clipboard tucked under one arm.
âBucky Barnes?â he asked, glancing around the room.
Buckyâs heart stopped for a moment before he slowly raised his hand. âThatâs me,â he said, his voice hoarse from crying.
The doctor nodded, stepping closer. âYouâre listed as Y/Nâs emergency contact.â
Buckyâs stomach twisted at those words, his mind racing. He managed a faint nod. âHow⊠how is she?â he asked, his voice shaking.
The doctor let out a slow breath, his expression calm but serious. âSheâs stable,â he said carefully. âBut it was touch and go for a while. We lost her a few times⊠one of those times was for over two minutes. But she has a stable heartbeat now, and sheâs breathing on her own.â
Relief crashed over the group like a wave, but it was short-lived as the doctorâs somber tone lingered.
âIs she going to be okay?â Sam asked, his voice tentative.
The doctor sighed, his gaze heavy. âItâs difficult to say. Every situation like this is unique, and every individual responds differently. Weâre not sure what the long-term effects will be, if any. Losing oxygen for even a couple of minutes can cause brain damage. Right now, itâs impossible to know.â
Natasha let out a shaky breath, her hand flying to her mouth as tears spilled from her eyes.
âAnd from a psychological standpointâŠâ The doctor hesitated, his gaze softening. âWhen patients wake up after an attempt, their reactions can vary greatly. Some experience extreme distress or hysterics and require heavy monitoring. Others find a renewed meaning in life. And⊠some donât wake up at all.â
Bucky leaned back in his chair, his chest heaving as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. He rubbed his hands over his face, trying and failing to steady his breathing.
âWe have to stay optimistic,â the doctor added gently. âSheâs alive, and sheâs fighting. Thatâs what matters right now.â
Sam nodded, swallowing hard. âCan we see her?â
The doctor gave a small smile. âOf course. Iâll take you to her room.â
They stood as one, following the doctor down the long, sterile hallway. The beeping of monitors and the faint hum of machinery grew louder as they approached the ICU. When they reached your room, the doctor pushed the door open and stepped aside to let them in.
The sight of you stole the breath from their lungs.
You were lying in the hospital bed, pale and still, your lips tinged with a faint bluish hue. Wires and tubes were connected to your body, machines beeping steadily to monitor your vitals. You looked lifeless, and for a moment, it was hard to believe the doctorâs wordsâSheâs stable. Sheâs alive.
The doctor cleared his throat softly. âIâll give you some time,â he said, his voice kind, before stepping out and closing the door behind him.
For a moment, no one moved. The weight of the moment pressed down on them, suffocating and unrelenting.
Bucky broke first.
He crumpled into the chair beside your bed, his face burying in his hands as sobs wracked his body. His shoulders shook violently, and the sound of his crying filled the small room. âThis is all my fault..â
Sam crouched beside him, his hand resting on Buckyâs back. âBuck,â he said softly, his own voice thick with emotion. âItâs not your fault, man.â
Bucky shook his head, his hands gripping his hair. âI shouldâve been there,â he choked out. âWhy wasnât I there? Why did I leave her alone?â
âBucky, stop,â Steve said gently, stepping forward. âYou canât blame yourself for thisâ
Buckyâs head snapped up, his tear-streaked face twisted in anguish. âShe told me to go, and I did, I left her! I knew she was getting bad again, I knew! I knewâŠâ
âBuckââ Sam started, but Bucky cut him off, his voice rising in desperation.
âI love her,â he said, the words spilling out like a confession, raw and unfiltered. âI love her, and I never told her. And now she might leave without knowing. She might leave without ever knowing how much I love her.â
Natasha stepped forward, tears streaming down her face. âWe all love her, Bucky,â she said softly, her voice shaking. âWeâre all here for her.â
âNo, you donât get it!â Bucky snapped, standing abruptly and pacing the small space. His hands were shaking, his chest heaving as he struggled to get the words out. âI donât just love her. Iâm in love with her. Iâve always been in love with her. And now I might never get the chance to tell her. I love her so much.."
The room fell silent, his confession hanging heavy in the air.
Bucky turned back to the bed, his knees buckling as he sank into the chair again. He reached out, his trembling hand brushing against yours where it rested limply on the bed.
âIâm sorry,â he whispered, his voice breaking. âIâm so sorry, sweetheart. Please donât leave. Please wake up. I need you to wake up.â
His tears fell onto your hand as he gripped it tightly, his head bowed as he cried. The others stood quietly, their own tears falling as they watched the man who had always been their rock crumble under the weight of his grief.
And in the suffocating silence of the room, they waited.
---
The bass from the clubâs speakers vibrated through the floor, the air thick with the smell of sweat, spilled drinks, and perfume. The neon lights pulsed in time with the music, casting flashes of pink and blue across the packed dance floor. You were pressed against the bar with Steve, Natasha, and Sam, all of you laughing and slightly tipsy, the heat of the club buzzing in your veins.
Natasha leaned in close, her red hair glowing under the club lights. âI canât believe you didnât want to celebrate your birthday!â she yelled over the music, grinning as she waved at the bartender. âThis is the best idea weâve had in forever!â
You rolled your eyes, but you couldnât stop the smile spreading across your face. âYou dragged me here!â you shouted back, laughing as Steve handed you a drink.
âAnd youâre welcome!â Natasha quipped, smirking as she threw her arm around you.
The DJâs voice suddenly boomed over the music, catching your attention. âAlright, alright, alright! Weâve got a special shoutout tonight!â
Your stomach dropped, and you immediately turned to Natasha, your eyes narrowing. âWhat did you do?â
âNot me but..â Natasha grinned wickedly, handing you a shot. âYouâre gonna need this,â she said, her tone gleeful.
âWait, waitââ you started, but the DJâs voice interrupted.
âWeâve got a birthday girl in the house! Y/N, this oneâs for you baby!â
The crowd erupted into cheers and whistles, strangers clapping and screaming like they all knew you personally.
âOh my God,â you groaned, throwing back the shot Natasha had handed you. The burn hit your throat just as the opening notes of Under Pressure blared through the speakers.
âNo. No, no, no,â you said, shaking your head and laughing in disbelief. âWhere is Bucky?â
As if on cue, you spotted him weaving through the crowd, a huge grin plastered across his face, his eyes shining with excitement. His hair was a little messy, his shirt slightly damp from the heat of the club, but he looked like he didnât have a care in the world.
âBucky, you didnât!â you yelled as he reached you, your laughter bubbling over.
âOf course I did! It's our song!â he shouted back, grabbing your hand. âCâmon, birthday girl!â
Before you could protest, he was pulling you toward the middle of the dance floor. The crowd seemed to part for him, the sweaty bodies making just enough room for the two of you.
As the iconic beat dropped, the two of you threw your heads back and screamed out the lyrics, your voices barely audible over the music but full of pure joy.
âPressure, pushing down on meâŠâ
Buckyâs hand never left yours, spinning you around as you both jumped and danced wildly, laughing so hard you could barely catch your breath. Every so often, heâd lean in close to shout a particularly dramatic lyric, his smile so big it made your chest ache with happiness.
By the time the song ended, both of you were panting, your faces flushed from the exertion and the heat of the club. The crowd around you roared with approval, and for a moment, it was just the two of you standing there, grinning at each other like idiots.
Buckyâs expression shifted slightly, his smile softening as his eyes searched yours. The noise of the club seemed to fade into the background, and for a split second, the world felt still.
âHey, umâ he said, his voice quieter now, barely audible over the next song. âIââ
âWhat?â you asked, leaning closer to hear him.
He opened his mouth to speak again, but before he could, Sam appeared out of nowhere, throwing his arm around your shoulders.
âBirthday shots, letâs go!â Sam shouted, steering you back toward the bar with a wide grin.
You giggled, letting Sam guide you through the crowd, but you glanced back at Bucky over your shoulder. He was still standing there, watching you leave, his hand hanging in the air like heâd been about to reach for you.
For a moment, he just stood there, his lips parting slightly before he whispered to himself, âI love you.â
You stopped, turning to look at him with a laugh. âAre you coming?â
Buckyâs face broke into a soft smile, the kind that made your heart flutter in a way you didnât want to analyze.
âWith you? Anywhere,â he said, weaving through the crowd to catch up with you.
As he reached your side, his hand brushed against yours, lingering for just a moment longer than necessary. As the night went on, filled with shots, laughter, and dancing, that moment stayed with him, etched into his memory like a perfect snapshot of a life he didnât want to imagine without you.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#sebastian stan x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes angst#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes au#bucky fanfic#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x reader angst
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hi losing my mind at this part where lucifer starts laughing at something marin says and then sam? smiles at him?? like he also wants to laugh???
#tiny moment but i am holding it in my hands#babygirl how sleep deprived ARE you#the pictures are really not doing it justice. u know how sam has like. A Voice#that he uses whenever dean says something he doesn't want to admit he finds funny because it was so dumb#like one of dean's really bad jokes and u can tell that sam is like. this idiot :)#he's using that voice for a second in this scene right here and.#im sorry im losing it over this i have rewound it like six times (not just to get the pics)#tfw the devil is going to torture u to death. but also he is funny and v cute when he laughs and u don't want to admit it#filing this with the face sam makes in lucifer rising under 'times sam has made weirdly positive expressions at the devil'#samifer#sam winchester#hallucifer#spn#caterposter
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đđ SYNOPSIS. sukuna is shamelessânot caring if anyone were to ever catch him righteously claiming ownership over his favorite concubine in the garden.
wc. 1.5k-ish
tags. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. smut, pwp. exhibitionism. size difference. dumbification \\ objectification. has two c.ocks. hair pulling. use of spit (yeah ik i wouldnt write for it but its sukuna). breeding themes. overstimulation. reader gets called âlittle girl, slutâ. sukunaâs a menace and loves to create drama between his concubines
âshut up. i donât care if theyâre here or not,â sukuna grunts, tightening his grip on your fleshy thighs as his lower cock slams in and out your sloppy cunt without much thought. the sound of pruning shears cutting off branches is easily overwhelmed by the lewd noises of skin slapping against skin.
you feel sorry for those servants whoâre just doing their job tending to the garden. none of them dare to look your way. theyâre sweating, eyes solely focused on the branches theyâre cutting, acting like they are not hearing the sinful moans and grunts in the distance. if they look, theyâre dead. that much is known.
everything is blurry to you. all you can manage to do is let out a string of pleasure filled whines. your body is easily overpowered and held up against the harsh wood of the nearby wall. your thighs are spread in an awfully painful way, your knees up to your chest. quite literally folded in half.
âi said eyes on me, yâ fuckinâ slut,â sukuna barks. he does not have the patience today. you breaking the intense eye contact with him only worsens his mood. one of his veiny hands tug at your hair. the others hold you upânot allowing you to even think of getting back on your feet until your tight cunt is done milking him for what heâs worth.
you gasp and sukuna takes the chance to grab your jaw with yet another free hand. âopen yâr mouth,â his hips do not still for even a second. they roll and ground against yours, the surrounding skin near his pelvis stained with your wet juices. he could smell it. just as nasty and dirty as he wants it to be.
you part your lips and keep them like that, not wanting to piss sukuna off even more. he grins at the sight of your red tongue instinctively rolling out like the obedient little girl you are. he spits right into your mouth, âswallow.â
you do so without second thought. the warm liquid trickles down your throat. sukuna watches in satisfaction, drilling into you until your insides are complete mush. youâre drooling over yourself alreadyâclearly having lost control over your rationality.
you sniffle and try to hold onto sukunaâs biceps. your small fingers curl around the shape of them, nails digging into his flesh. every time you think sukunaâs finally letting up, he only increases his inhuman pace. âmy l-lord, âs too much,â you cry out. your body could only handle so much pleasure before itâd break down. your pussy is convulsing around his girthy cock, feeling his other sliding back and forth over your sensitive clit.
the king of curses shuts you up with a hiss. his bottom set of eyes is focused on the impressive scene of your tiny pussy swallowing his cock so easily. heâs feeling proud of the fact that heâs molded you into the perfect concubine for him and his carnal pleasure.
sukuna has fucked you silly enough times to know how to get you under his spell. his fingers brush over your hard nipples, grabbing the squishy flesh of your tits as they bounce with each of his thrusts. he leans his head down towards yours. his rough, raspy voice makes your body heat up, âno, no. itâs never too much for my little girl, right? she can easily take ânother load fâme.â
your breath hitches and sukuna realises it worked. he knows just what to say to manipulate you into giving in. so he can fuck you senseless for how long he wants. youâre a sucker for the fact that he calls you his. thatâs what you areâyouâre his woman. only his and no one elseâs. the claim of ownership makes your pussy clench.
ây-yes, my lord. i can take another, i can,â you breathe out, head swaying from side to side, not mentally able anymore to keep up with sukunaâs intense libido. yet, your body is still active, squeezing around sukunaâs dick as he promised you more of his precious cum.
the king of curses snickers, amused by just how fast you gave in. âthatâs what i thought, hah,â heâs realised that his hold on you knows no bounds. youâre his little toy. the only one he wants to ravish these days. and the only one worth of carrying his seed.
youâre still thinking about the way heâs called you âhis little girlâ. itâs driving you closer to the edge. you start to get louder, completely ignoring your inner thoughts that begged you to have some decorum; to try and hide the fact that youâre getting slutted out in the courtyard.
thereâs not much hiding it anyway since the servants have a clear understanding of whatâs going on behind them. âmghh, pleaseâplease need more!â you mewl and sukuna listens. his red eyes darken with desire as you get into it. he loves to experience that lust driven side of yours. a complete opposite to your usual formal and shy self.
âlouder, câmon. let them know iâm fucking you good,â sukuna sneers, enjoying the mind games he is playing with you. youâre too cockdrunk to even notice. the them in his sentence refers to his other concubines. he knows that youâre secretly craving to get revenge on them and show them just how well you get dicked down by him every single day.
unlike them, who rarely get graced by his touch. that is, when youâre unavailable.
you do as told and increase the volume of your erotic moans, letting everyone around the estate know what youâre getting up to. not like anyone could interfere. sukuna wouldnât dare let them live a second after.
âthatâs it, yeah,â the sorcerer grunts and rams his length repeatedly into you, cursing at the way youâre gripping him so tightly. youâre so dripping wet that he slips out of you for a second. he moves his hips, angling them better to slam back inside of you.
however, youâre one step ahead. your shaky hand reaches down between your legs and you quickly guide his tip to your entrance, urging him to push between your moist folds again. ânasty fuckinâ girl,â sukuna scoffs at your desperation, though secretly thrives off it. he switches cocks and shoves the upper one into your cunt.
you gasp. youâre so used to him to the point that you could sense the difference between his dicks. the upper one has more veins and is a tad bit girthier. you hiccup and nearly choke on your own moans and spit from the change of pace and dicks. ângh, âtis so deep, my lordââ you whine loudly and your hands move to hold your breasts, stopping them from painfully jiggling around in every direction.
sukuna hums in content as he continues his rough thrusts. he can feel his balls twitch and clench, ready to shoot his sperm all up in your womb like you deserve. though, he doesnât want to end this moment too quickly. he wants to extend it.
âcâmere,â sukuna grumbles and stops pounding your poor, aching cunt. he stills his dick inside you and allows you to cling onto his tall stature, lifting you away from the wall. he silently urges you to wrap your legs around his waist so he could carry you.
the robes of your kimono get left behind on the patch of grass near the wall of the main house. thereâs a few droplets of white liquid thatâs stained the grass, right where sukuna and you were standing at seconds ago.
you donât think about anything anymore as you babble about how full you felt with his cock all the way in you. the fat tip brushes against your cervix with each step sukuna takes towards his next destination.
âkeep talkinâ to me, doll. tell me how good it feels to take my cock,â he grins smugly as he carries your little body like a trophy into the main buildingânot paying mind to any maids who he passes by. theyâre shocked by the sight of their lady in such a state, though are only able to bow at the two of you.
sukuna finally stops in front of the dinner table. the same table you always have dinner at with him and his other women. he places your back against the surface, big hands holding you down by your hips. âthere we go,â he coos mockingly, seeing how youâre completely fucked out, yet still needing more of him.
the king of curses has his own twisted reasons of bringing you here. looking outside of the window, you notice how the sun is starting to set. thatâs also the moment you realise his hidden motive.
the other concubines will sooner or later gather at the dining hall to eat supper. theyâd expect a peaceful meal, though instead, theyâll be greeted by the sight of their dear lord screwing his favorite. itâll be a painful blow to them.
which is exactly what the ruthless man wants to achieve.
sukuna licks his lips and all of his eyes focus on you solely, âgonna enjoy my dinner a bit earlier tâday, yeah?â
CR. STTORU 2024
#sttoru writes.#jjk smut#jjk x reader#sukuna smut#sukuna x reader#jjk x you#sukuna x you#jjk x y/n#sukuna x y/n
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YOU'RE A PERVERT!!!
/ËpÉrËvÉrt/
a person whose sexual behavior is regarded as abnormal and lewd
Synopsis: How perverted are JJK men? What are their perverted tendencies?
Characters: Gojo, Geto, Sukuna, Choso Warnings: Voyeurism, Gojo uses a vibrator on you in public, cockwarming, fantasizing, public sex, dub-con, male masturbation, mating press, begging, blindfolding and restraining, breeding
Gojo Satoru
7/10 on the pervert scale
This man is full of kinks and thinks about sex quite often.
His kinks aren't necessarily abnormal but he can be obsessive
Has sniffed your panties and used them to jack off
A shameless pervert
Would be into blindfolding
The rich man he would invest in some toys and is a fiend with them
"Shit." You mumble under your breath, biting your lip to prevent any more sounds from bubbling up.
As you sit in the glossy, high-ceilinged conference room surrounded by the austere faces of the Jujutsu Society high-ups, you keep your head down, staring desperately at the floor as the toy inside you buzzes against your clit and your gspot. It's fucking unbearable. Across the table, Gojo sits, the picture of nonchalance with his trademark blindfold, his lips curving into a barely-there smirk that only you can decipher.
The vibrations of the toy are slow, most certainly on the lowest setting which you are almost thankful for. The sensation is like warm sunlight filtering through a window, gentle yet insistent. The dual stimulation of your clit and gspot has you practically gasping for air, it is delicious, slow, and not enough, not what your body is starting to crave. You can feel the thrum of pleasure at the tips of your fingers and toes, then spirals inward, igniting every nerve ending with a whisper of pleasure. The warmth expands, filling you to the brim, making your breath hitch unexpectedly.
Around the table, the meeting drones on, a background hum to the electric thrill dancing under your skin. You shift in your seat, trying to contain the heat that Gojoâs toy stirs within you. Under the table, he is most certainly playing with the remote, circling the buttons that could at any moment lead you to your doom. How did he even get you to do this in the first place? Each brush of your clothes against your skin turns into a caress, intensifying the sensations that you desperately try to mask.
The more you squirm, the wider Gojo's smile grows, though it never reaches his eyes, which are focused intently on you, enjoying the scene he orchestrates from across the room.
Your face flushes a deeper shade of red with each passing second, a silent plea for respite mingling with the fear of being discovered. The heat pools at the pit of your stomach, waves of pleasure cascading through you in relentless pulses. You clench your hands under the table, nails digging into your palm to anchor yourself to reality, to the droning voices discussing projections and quarterly returns.
But Gojo is relentless, you can practically hear the click of the remote that speeds up the toy inside you. You immediately jolt as if you have been electrocuted and you cross your legs to try and tame the ticklish pleasure coursing through you like a tidal wave.
"Everything ok Y/n?" Someone from across the room asks, and you feel everyone's gaze turn to you.
Before you can muster up the strength to say anything, Gojo cuts in.
"Oh she's fine. Just excited to be here isn't that right?"
Geto Suguru
6/10 on the pervert scale
Geto prides himself on keeping his composure intact.
But the man has so sick fantasies roaming around in his head
Behind a kind smile and hazle eyes he is mentally tearing away your clothes and fucking you on the desk you are sitting behind
Totally acts on these thoughts. Eventually he will find a way
Doesn't really care about what others think of him, which makes him very bold
He is less of a pervert and more of a "sex lover" if that makes sense
"Stay still baby, dont want anyone getting ideas do you?" Geto coos into your ear and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop your self from moaning. Thank god you wore a long skirt today because if it was any shorter you were sure everyone would know you weren't just sitting on your boyfriend's lap. No, you where impaled on his dick.
You glance around, your cheeks heating up as you catch a few curious stares from nearby moviegoers. Geto seems unfazed, his focus calmly fixed on the screen ahead. You can feel your body instinctively squeeze around his length, desperately yearning for friction, but two big hands keep you secured on his lap preventing you from moving.
Geto's presence is both arousing and disconcerting as you try to focus on the movie, hyper-aware of every shift and breath. As the room darkens with the film's start, you attempt to blend into the dim anonymity, hoping the engulfing shadows hide your flushed face and the flutter in your chest.
Suddenly, Geto slightly bucks into you, so his fat tip presses against the part of you that you only dream about reaching with your fingers. As the waves of pleasure gently cascade through you, you press your lips tightly together, restraining any sound that threatens to escape. You force yourself to remain utterly still, despite the overwhelming sensations of his large member that tempt you to move. The restraint heightens every tingling sensation, each pulse becoming more pronounced, more insistent. Your fingers curl into the fabric of your skirt beneath you, gripping tightly as you focus on the subtlest of movementsâa breath, a slight shiftâthat could betray the intensity of your experience. The stillness becomes a challenge, a game of control where every fiber of your being is acutely aware, and every small victory in maintaining composure amplifies the pleasure silently swirling within.
"Doing so well baby, you sure you can keep this up?" Geto mummurs into your ear, nibbling on the skin of your lobe.
Choso
7/10 and for very good reason
Listen, the man has never experienced intimacy before.
So when he experiences sex for the first time, oh boy, choso is down for the count
he wants to try it all, do it all with you, to you
He's the type to think about stealing your panties or is tempted to look up your skirt but reprimands himself for it
"Come on baby just keep your legs on my shoulders. Can you do that for me?" Choso's breath is hot against your ear. "F-fuck please" he says through a groan. If you weren't so fucked out of your mind you would think that he was actually begging. And you were right. Choso swears his isn't a whimpering man but here he is, voice cracking from the vice grip your cunt Â
You are too dumb to reply, only spurting outcries and whines about how good he was fucking you. Choso snapped his hips so fast that everything seemed like a dream, the bed was shaking immensely with the headboard banging on the wall and you were losing your mind from the friction of his dick against your walls. How long have you been in this mating press? How many times have you cummed? How many times has he cummed in you?
"Wanna fuck you every day,"Â he grunts out, pumping into you, the length and level of his arousal brutal. "fuck fuck fuck," Choso swears, as he brings a hand to the back of your head and presses your lips onto his. Your so dazed you practically drool into the kiss, letting him entangle his tongue with yours until spit smeared on either side of your lips. He doesnât slow the movement for a second as he kisses you, giving you full, hard thrusts, your breasts bouncing from the brutality.
Suddenly, it hits you. Like an ignition of fire your brain goes white and you feel yourself ascend to euphoria.
âYou gonna cum baby?" he coos into your hear, pressing light kisses on the hollow of your neck. "fuck, cum for me baby, please, cum on me."Â Choso's hand flew between your bodies to rapidly rub your clit back and forth, hurtling you towards your orgasm. Your pussy tightens so hard around his cock that he nearly has to stop his thrusts. Your mouth grows lax as you feel yourself splitting in two, coming with his cock buried deep inside you.Â
âThatâs it,â He fucks you through your orgasm, pouring every ounce of his strength into chasing his own high. His thrusts became sloppy, hips stuttering before he stilled his hips flushed against yours, burying himself in your creamy cunny.
âFuck fuck fuck FUCK!â
Sukuna Ryomen
This is difficult, sukuna is not much of a pervert as he is a sadist.
So on the sadist scale, he is a 10/10 and the correlation with pervertedness would also be a 10/10 because of the wild things he does to you
He just loves to see you embarrassed and degraded. If that means fucking you in public so be it. If that means cumming on your panties and making you wear them so bit it
There isnt much he isnt open to (unfortunately)
You feel dizzy.
The soft fabric presses gently against your eyelids, urging them to remain closed. With your sight stolen away, your world narrows, funneling your awareness to the heightened sensations that begin to bloom from your core.
You whine at the feeling, squirming at the sensation of sukuna's fingers massaging your gspot. His pace his maddening, every curl of his fingers is so slow and exact, so much so your muscles tremble from the pleasure.
"Faster, faster please" you mewl, and you don't even need sight to know that there is a devilish grin on Sukuna's tattooed face.
"You feel good dont you? Poor thing." Sukuna chuckles.
The material encircling your wrists is smooth, almost silky, tying your hands behind you leaving them free to roam but only so far. As the pleasure builds, coiling tightly within you, the lack of sight only deepens the mystery and intensity of each contact, each sensation. You're adrift in a sea of touch and sound, each wave crashing over you with more pleasure than the last.
"So pretty, I love it when you're desperate, god," Sukuna groans and he leans in close so you can feel his breath against your ear. "You're making me so hard baby."
Your hips buck up when you feel the pace of his fingers quicken. The fiction is delicious and his digits fill you so much better than your small ones ever could.
"Want me to fuck you?" Sukuna purrs and you desperately nod in response making him chuckle. "Look at you, of course you do."
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo x reader#gojo smut#geto x reader#geto smut#sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#jujutsu kaisen#choso smut#choso x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanons
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Why Can't I Keep My Fingers Off You? - G.S.
Synopsis. There were two things missing in the scene in front of you: 1. The aphrodisiac chocolate your friends had given as a gag gift last Christmas that had been hidden away in the back of your refrigerator. 2. Your dear fiancé.
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, unprotected sex, Satoruâs blindfold gets used, overstimulation (male + female), lots of cum, aphrodisiac sex, multiple rounds, making Gojo Satoru cum in his pants, breaking the bed, mating press, pet names (my girl), swearing.
Word count. 3.0k
A/N. Can you tell itâs ovulation week. PART 2 HERE. Art by @_3aem on x.
Ah~ Itâs the 21st century, they should really make these curses self-exorcizing.Â
Itâs been a long day of dealing with countless curses and five droning clan meetings (all of which he missed, oops). Now, Satoru loiters around your shared penthouse apartment - waiting for you to come back home from work.
Hmm, maybe heâll quickly drop by and see what the first years are up to? He probably didnât have a class right now.Â
But first, Satoru grins, opening the refrigerator to grab at the secret stash of sweets all the way in the back - something sweet.
---
It was odd to step into a tense silence suffocating your home - usually used to being met with whines of âhow dare you take so long!â and âyou wonât believe what that emo kid did today.â as soon as you walked in through the door.
Was Satoru running late on a mission today? Â
It wasnât surprising, the man had to be everywhere - itâs not like he always has the time to teleport and welcome you home. Yet, you still couldnât shake off the feeling that something was off as you made your way into the kitchen.
Cursing whoever invented the work week, the cold air of the refrigerator hits you as you open it to grab a drink, wondering when your fiancé will be home.
Wait.
Tired brain distinctly noting the lack of that familiar flash of hot pink, you double-take as you glare at the back of the refrigerator - as if willing it to materialize in front of you. Where was that?
âThatâ being the gag gift your friends had given you last Christmas to playful wolf whistles. Some large slab of âaphrodisiac chocolateâ - probably normal chocolate - that youâd skeptically thrown in with your secret candy stash for a rainy day.Â
Satoru had ransacked your goods again, you sigh. But if he was homeâŠthen where was he?
âToru? Are you home?â you call out in confusion, only to be met with a deafening silence.Â
Concern etched on your face, you set the drink down to look for Satoru, footsteps thumping against the hardwood floors at each tense step.Â
Approaching the bedroom, a low, unmistakable moan filters through the heavy door. Satoru.
Heartbeat racing and worry coursing through you, you cautiously push the door open - only to be met with a sight that makes your heart stop.
There, sprawled across your bed in just his boxers, a delicate flush spread enticingly along his sculpted body, was your Satoru.Â
Something about this scene felt more than a simple evening nap. The air was heady and thick with something. Maybe it was that familiar hot pink wrapper lying empty at the foot of the bed. Maybe it was the way Satoruâs usually vibrant eyes were half-lidded, curtained by his tousled hair.Â
Or maybe it was his hand squeezing the large outline of his achingly hard cock through his boxers. Circling the dark spot around his leaking tip. Massaging his heavy balls. Teasing.Â
âYouâre homeâ he rasps out, voice strangled and snapping you out of your trance.Â
âWha- yes. Toru, what happened?â you sputter out, eyes locked on the way his cock twitched animalistically at the sound of your voice.
In the blink of an eye, Satoruâs gotten up from the bed, muscled arms caging you against the wall. His rock-hard erection presses into your front, precum smearing through his boxers against your work clothes.
âYouâre home.â he repeats, sounding as strained as if he were about to snap any second. Losing his sanity with each breath that fans your hair.
You could feel the pulsing of your cunt as your eyes flit from the sheen of sweat decorating his body to the blindfold haphazardly hanging off his neck. Satoru finally raises his eyes to look at you.
Oh, heâs already lost his sanity.
Pupils blown, those blue eyes you love now a lustful black - a predatory glint in them that made a carnal part of your cunt twitch. His mouth spreads into a wolfish grin, teeth bared as if ready to eat you up.Â
A shiver runs down your spine.
âToruâŠyou okay?â
âYouâre home.â he breathes out, as if a prayer.Â
âSatoru.â
The simple call of his name sealed your fate.
The buttons hit the ground before you realize what heâs doing. Ripping your shirt off, pulling off your bra, fisting your clothes in his hands as if it killed him to see you clothed.Â
Too impatient - too starved - to remove your skirt, he pulls it to shreds off your hips.
âWoah- slow down there.â you squeal as he drops to Satoru knees, biting down on the thin fabric of your soaked panties, tugging with his teeth. You know heâll buy you ten more to replace what heâs torn, but jeez where was the decorum?
âCanâtâ he slurs, peeking up at you with dazed eyes. Was your Satoru even here with you?
âWhat?âÂ
âCanât stop.â he murmurs lowly, voice sending vibrations to your twitching cunt.Â
And before you know it, sharp teeth bite around your panties, ripping them to shreds. Looking up at you with hooded eyes, miles away, grinning devilishly around the soaked fabric in his mouth.Â
Shit, what have you gotten yourself into.
Despite your thobbing pussy, you soothe âNow, Toru. Why donât we just-â
âShut up.â he mutters. And he does - words catching in your throat as Satoru dives nose-deep into your dripping cunt. Hot tongue urgently lapping at your juices, as if a man dying of thirst..
Nose rubbing your pulsing clit in rough circles, he breathes you in so sinfully, letting out a throaty groan as he does. He bullies his tongue past your dripping folds, stretching you, dipping in and out of your quivering entrance. Over and over. In and out.
You were losing your mind with each rough push of Satoruâs warm tongue. Dizzying pace forcing lewd whimpers out of your mouth that mix with the squelches of his mouth on your pussy.Â
You buck your hips desperately into his face, and amidst his merciless abuse on your cunt, you barely notice the way he presses his body against yours.Â
Shit, so this is why heâs so fucking feral - Satoruâs cock was painfully hard, swollen and throbbing against your leg. Fuck- you werenât gonna be able to walk for a while.
He grind his hips into you, precum soaking your bare legs. With a low whimper at the back of his throat, Satoruâs tongue fucks you in a way you knew he wanted to with his cock right now. Rough and unrelenting.
Maybe itâs the harsh abuse of his mouth on your swollen lips, nose catching on your clit just right. Or maybe itâs the feeling of your slick dripping down the corners of his mouth, onto your thighs and mixing with the precum of his aching erection.Â
Before you can even register it, youâre cumming all over Satoruâs mouth, grip tight on his white locks and hips riding his pretty face.
Greedily lapping at your quivering cunt, he moans as his eyes roll to the back of his head at the sweet juices pooling around his tongue.Â
In the back of your mind, you recognize the feeling of Satoruâs warm cum smearing against your leg. Did- Did Gojo Satoru just come in his underwear while eating you out?
Sinfully, he licks at the mixture of your juices dripping down your legs, eyes closed as if tasting a delicacy. He was going to be the death of you.
As soon as your high bates, Satoru stands to his full height. Towering above you with eyes that looked like he wanted to positively eat you alive.
âT-ToruâŠare you okay?âÂ
But your fiancé stays silent, throbbing erection still straining painfully against his wet boxers as he shoves you against the cold wall. Rough hands on your hips, presenting your dripping cunt to him and arching you to his will.
A large hand smacks the wall beside your head, plaster crumbling under his strength. Shit, if he keeps going at this pace then nothing in the house will survive Satoru - including you.Â
You feel the cum-soaked fabric of his boxers grinding against your ass, his hands pulling and groping every bit of skin he can reach.
âToru, take it off.â you whine out, words dripping in lust.
You donât need to tell Satoru twice. With grace that he wouldnât give your clothes, his boxers are on the ground, painfully hard cock hitting his abs.Â
You can feel the slick dripping down your legs as you look behind your shoulder to see one hand wrapped tightly around his large cock. Pulling in slow, languid motions up to the furiously flushed tip. His heavy balls twitch as he thumbs the prominent vein along the side.
âI want-â
You canât even finish your sentence before Satoruâs bullying his massive cock into your snug cunt. Plush walls desperately trying to adjust to his size as he sheaths himself in your hot core.Â
You moan at the delicious stretch of your pussy. Itâs not like you havenât done this before - yet, where Satoru was usually suave in sex, right now it was replaced by pure, feral need. With his tip kissing your cervix as he pushed animalistically into your cunt - you didnât know if youâd make it out alive.Â
âHah- Toru itâs too big. Ah! I canât-.â
âYou will.â he grits out, teeth clenched and brows furrowed.Â
Satoru presses into you inch by fucking inch, groaning at the tight ring of muscles trying to both push him out and suck him in desperately. It was so animalistic.
It seems Satoruâs body moves before his mind, hips fucking into your dripping pussy recklessly. Harsh thrusts, not even pulling all the way out to ram into you as he usually does - as if he canât bear to part with your wet core. His balls sting your cunt as they smack against you at his unforgiving pace, strings of slick and cum connecting him to you.
âAh- So good fâme, my girl. Always- so good.â he gasps out at the heavenly feeling of your dripping cunt sucking him back in at each thrust. âHngh! Mmm more. I need more. Need it so bad.â
Hands arching your back into him now grope the expanse of your skin, before wrapping around your body to lift you off the floor.Â
âAh! Toru, what- hngh-â you choke on your words at the new angle.Â
Satoruâs body bows into you, cock still slamming inside you at a feral pace midair. Not even a hairâs breadth between your bodies.Â
With one hand he forces you to look up at him, capturing your lips with his in a searing kiss. Pretty mouth sucking your tongue as he did with your cunt.
If you were in a better state of mind, youâd notice the slight glow tinging his lustful eyes. The electricity thrumming through his fingers. Yet you already knew - Satoru was absolutely losing it.
Your feet dangle off the ground as he holds you securely, length reaching impossibly deeper inside you. Prominent vein grazing that one spot over and over.
âHngh- Oh my god, Toru. Sâtoo much!â you pull away to whine.Â
âOpen your mouth.â he murmurs raspily. As if body on auto-pilot, your mouth opens, tongue lolling out for what he was about to give.
Satoruâs stream of spit is warm on your tongue, making you clench around his merciless cock. He lets out a drawn-out groan, eyes boring down at you, holding a glint of the same insanity he has when he exorcizes curses, âMy nasty girl. Canât get enough of you.â
You moan at his words, hands reaching behind you to grab on the blindfold dangling on his neck. âToru more-â you gasp out, your tight grip causing him to bow his head with a groan, cock twitching ferally.Â
âFuck! More? You fucking want more?â he groans out, voice wrecked with pleasure.Â
You let out a yelp as his teeth dig into your neck - hard enough that you were sure youâd have a lot of explaining to do tomorrow. Like a lamb to slaughter, he was going to eat you up. Yet, your grip on his blindfold never waves, pulling him closer as he fucks roughly into your snug cunt.Â
Ass burning at the friction of his pelvis. Pussy dripping onto your bedroom floor. Unforgiving. Gojo Satoru was unforgiving. âAh! Toru sâgood.âÂ
You both cum with strangled gasps. A low keen at the back of Satoruâs throat, and heâs pumping hot ropes of cum into your awaiting pussy. Tears stinging your eyes at your sensitivity, all you know is a wave of pleasure as you ride out your climax on the ramming of his hips and the how full you are of his seed.
His hand still draws hurried, desperate circles on your clit. You squeal at the overstimulation, tears clinging to yours lashes. âToru- hngh!â you can barely get out the words, his hips slamming into yours mercilessly as Satoru milks his cock desperately on your quivering pussy.Â
âShut up. You said you wanted more. Youâre gonna get more, my little slut.â he mutters carnally.
Ah, you canât do this. You were going to fucking pass out.
âOne- more.â he moans.
Your thighs clench around him, pushing your plush walls deeper as he lets out raspy whimpers with each thrust. âHah- hngh.âÂ
âShit- Toru Iâm-â Your climax hits you with a jolt, body twitching in pain and pleasure from the oversensitivity as your cunt flutters around his cock - not even being able to tell when Satoruâs orgasm ends and when yours starts.Â
You feel a tear hit your shoulder, overstimulation too much for his poor cock as his seed coats your walls once more. It drips out of you, forming a pool on the floor as he pulls out - for only a second before youâre thrown on the bed.Â
Orgasm-hazed brain barely having time to register what is happening before Satoru stalks towards you from the foot of the bed. Unhurriedly approaching you as you scoot towards the headboard.
Your pussy jumps exhaustedly at the sight of him - eyes darkened and narrowed at you like a predator that has spotted his prey. A devilish smirk stretches across his swollen lips, glossed prettily with spit and slick.Â
Toru, I-I donâ-â you words slur out.Â
âOne- one more, my girl. Please.â Satoru whimpers, throat shot from what transpired just before. His cock twitches, glistening with cum and slick, dripping onto the fresh bedsheets.Â
As he looms closer, you wonder how the fuck Satoru was still holding up - was this all because of the chocolate? You have half the mind to wonder whether he was using reversed cursed technique to keep you both alive.
You mewl deliriously at the feeling of your legs being thrown on his shoulders. Eyes blown and face flushed your favorite shade of pink, he licks a long stripe up your ankles, voice cracking as he moans sinfully.Â
Satoruâs flushed tip teases your entrance, dragging along your swollen folds. Fuck. Shit. Maybe you wouldnât even mind dying if it was with his cock rammed in your snug cunt.
Barely even lucid, he thrusts harshly into you - your tight entrance readily sucking up his flushed tip. You both hiss at the sensitivity. Surely, one of you was going to pass out.Â
Hand moving to grasp the blindfold around his neck, you pull him to you. Your hamstrings burn in protest as Satoru bends down to attach his lips with yours, moving down until you were folded in half.Â
Tongue tangling with yours, half-lidded eyes bore into yours, fiery with an intensity that made you unsure if either of you would make it out of this alive.Â
Heartbeat roaring in your ears, you donât notice the crack! of the bed and neither does Satoru. Too caught up in desperately reaching whatever number orgasm it was this night.Â
Moans incoherent, your body convulses, nails dragging down the expanse of his sculpted back as the bed creaks in protest. A strangled groan leaves his mouth, cock throbbing inside you - or maybe that was your quivering cunt. At this point you really didnât know anymore.Â
âShit- ah! Fuck. Iâm- Mâcumming. Mâcumming. Hngh- cumming!â he whines out, voice ragged and breathing unstable. Delicate tears streak down his face, dripping onto your quivering body below him. Salty.
You can only let out exhausted whines, too fucked out to form any proper sentences.
Hot seed gushing inside you again, it overflows out of you, cunt dripping and too full to take anymore. Yet, Satoru still fucks into you until he sees stars and his poor cock is cumming dry. You can barely even feel your climax, distant tingles and the only thing on your mind being Satoru Satoru Satoru.Â
The air leaves your lungs as he collapses on top of you. Skin flushed and sticking to yours. Body twitching as his poor cock neverendingly shoots blanks inside of you. Which number was this even?
Thatâs when you black out.
Floating in and out of dreams of blue, blue skies and mini Satorus running around, you wake up with a start. Well, as much of a start as you could with your entire body aching as if you got run over by a truck - and then an entire zoo after.
Bleary eyes taking in your surroundings, you distinctly realize that youâre spread out on the living room couch.Â
What happened.
âHey, you okay?â a hoarse voice sounds from beside you. You could barely recognize it as your fiancĂ©âs, words jagged fromâŠwhatever it was before.
âYouâŠare you okay?â you rasp out, raising a brow exhaustedly. Satoru chuckles sheepishly, tenderly smoothing over the blanket placed on top of you. What a change from before - are you sure this is the same guy?
âWellâŠthe wall is crumbling, we broke the bed, and Iâm pretty sure my dick wonât work again for the next couple years.â he gets out in one breath. At your silence, he continues âAnd I think my favorite blindfold is out of commission.â
â...wow.â
âWow.âÂ
âYou lecher, you ate from my secret stash, didnât you?â
â...â
A few days later, opening the refrigerator, youâre met with a wall of hot pink. A sticky note on top reading in Satoruâs hasty scrawl, âThis time you take one too :Dâ
A/N. Wrote this while watching The Garfield Show.
Plagiarism not authorized.
#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fic#jjk#gojo satoru#tonywrites
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right here, yet so far away | oneshot
Pairing:Â Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags:Â exes to lovers, ceo! jungkook x kindergarten teacher! reader, angst, smut, fluff
Word Count: 19.4k (my hands slipped girl)
Chapter Warnings: mature language, unprotected sex (pls be safe), oral (f. receiving), mentions of an accident, coma, violence (lmk if i missed anything)
A/N: hello cuties. this is a special post in honor of me hitting 300 followers. i cant believe the immense support i have received when it's only been a week. thank you so much for consuming my work and supporting me. also please note, the text in italics are for dream sequences or flashbacks. P.S i know people don't just instantly recover after a long coma, but in this story it's just heavy plot armor, so kindly understand.
//
âBut baby⊠please justâŠâ Jungkookâs voice cracks as he jogs to catch up, his hand reaching out for yours. You swat it away without hesitation, the sting of rejection hitting him harder than any words ever could.
âJungkook, stop it.â you say firmly, your tone sharp enough to cut through his soul. He freezes, his wide eyes searching yours for answers.
âBut baby, just tell me why? We were doing so good⊠just yesterday, you... you said you loved me. Please, you canât just... leave like this.â
He tries to observe your expression, hoping to convince himself that this is just some cruel joke. But thereâs no softness in your eyes, no flicker of doubt. Only a cold, unyielding resolve.
âDonât you understand?â you scoff, folding your arms tightly across your chest. âIâm tired of you, Jungkook. Iâm tired of us.â His breath hitches, disbelief flashing across his face. âStop. Donât say that. You donât⊠you donât mean that.â
âI do.â you insist, each word a dagger to his heart. âI mean every word of it. Iâm done with you. This whole relationship⊠itâs not going anywhere. Itâs a waste of time, and I just⊠I canât, Jungkook. We have to break up.â
His shoulders slump, and his chest rises and falls as though the air has been knocked out of him. He stands frozen, staring at you, desperate to find some hint of hesitation in your expression. But all he sees is resolve⊠or at least, what youâre determined to show him.
âWhy?â he whispers, his voice barely audible.
You stare at him blankly. "Because I donât love you anymore.â you reply, your voice unwavering. Jungkook flinches as if struck. His lips part, but no words come out. And when you turn around and walk away, the sound of your retreating footsteps echoes in his ears, louder than any goodbye, as your body disappears into the darkness.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
The shrill wail of the alarm slices through the silence, and Jungkook's eyes harshly open. He gasps for air, his chest heaving as the nightmare clings to him like a second skin.
Itâs always the same nightmare. The same scene. The same words. The same look on your face. The same crushing weight in his chest.
He drags a hand down his face, the coolness of his palm doing little to soothe him. His dark hair sticks to his forehead, damp with sweat, and he blinks up at the ceiling fan spinning lazily above him.
For a moment, he just sits there, the silence of his apartment wrapping around him like a cold blanket. A single tear trickles down his temple as images of you flash in his mind, one after the other. His phone buzzes on the nightstand... a reminder of the meetings and deadlines awaiting him, but he doesnât move.
Four months. Itâs been four months since you walked away, and he still doesnât understand why.
He remembers the day of the break up like it was yesterday. The scene is so vividly planted in his mind that he even sees it in his sleep. He canât get rid of the way you looked at him⊠like you despised the sight of him, like you truly didnât love him anymore.
He still doesnât have his answers. Why did you leave so suddenly? Why did your heart just decide it didnât want him anymore? The questions linger in his mind, unanswered, gnawing at him like a constant ache he canât escape.
Jungkook remains rooted on his mattress, the weight of memories pressing down on him as he recalls the first time he saw you. It was over two years ago, but when he recollects it, it feels so vivid, like it's happening in the present.
He had been reluctant to attend an event that was scheduled at a local kindergarten nearby. Exhausted from a long flight back from the States, heâd tried to get out of it. But his assistant, understanding the importance of his role as the CEO, insisted that he'd attend it regardless.
His company wasnât just about selling food products, it was dedicated to promoting healthy living, especially for children. They organized events to educate kids on the importance of good nutrition, partnered with schools to provide nutritious meals, and created fun, interactive programs to get children excited about eating right.
Though Jungkook wasnât keen on spending his afternoon with a room full of energetic kids, he went anyway. The workshop had already started and the moment he stepped into the classroom, ready to grab the attention of the kids, he suddenly spotted you.
You were standing at the front of the room, a soft smile on your face as you engaged with the children, laughing with them and cracking jokes. Your energy was infectious, and the way you moved with such ease around the kids made his heart skip a beat. There was something so warm and genuine about you, something that immediately drew him in.
It wasnât just the way you looked... though you were undeniably beautiful, but how you carried yourself, the kindness that radiated from you, and how at home you seemed in this world of tiny hands and laughter. Jungkook had never been the type to believe in love at first sight, but the moment his eyes landed on you, something inside him shifted.
He had been smitten, captivated in a way he couldnât explain. His thoughts had scattered as he watched you, his mind far from the speech he was supposed to be giving. It was almost embarrassing how quickly you had captured his attention, and yet he couldnât look away.
It wasnât until later, when he was preparing to leave, that he finally found the courage to approach you. He had been nervous, unsure of what to say. But the moment you looked at him, a simple greeting from you was all it took.
Your smile was enough to melt any lingering doubt he had. He introduced himself, his voice slightly shaky but confident enough to make a lasting impression. And you, with that same gentle smile, responded in kind words, immediately making him feel at ease.
He had no idea at that moment that this chance encounter would change his life in the best way possible.
Now, laying in his bed, Jungkook smiles bitterly, remembering how it all started. How he had the most beautiful relationship with you for around a year and three months. How one decision, one visit to that kindergarten, led to everything he lost.
He still can't understand why you left him the way you did, without explanation, without any chance for him to fix whatever went wrong. The image of your face that day... the coldness, the finality, haunts him still.
Despite the whirlwind of thoughts clouding his mind, Jungkook forces himself to push them aside. He stares at the ceiling for a moment longer, allowing the weight of the memories to settle, before finally making the decision to get up.
He knows he canât linger in this state forever. The day is waiting for him, and he canât afford to let his emotions hold him back. With a sigh, he swings his legs off the bed and plants his feet firmly on the floor. The familiar coldness of the hardwood beneath his feet is grounding, and for a brief moment, he feels a sense of control over the chaos in his mind.
The early morning light filters through the blinds, casting a soft glow on his room. He moves to the bathroom, running cold water over his face, hoping it will somehow shake the fog from his thoughts. Itâs a futile attempt, but itâs enough to snap him into the present, if only for a few minutes.
Jungkook stares at his reflection in the mirror, taking a deep breath. His mind is still heavy, but heâs learned over the years to compartmentalize, especially when it comes to work. Heâs the CEO and his company canât afford to be distracted by his personal life. No matter how much his heart aches, thereâs a bigger picture to focus on.
//
You glance at the kids, focused on their coloring books, and a soft smile tugs at your lips. Theyâre adorable, each one lost in their own little world, their tiny hands gripping crayons as they carefully add color to their drawings. You walk around the room, quietly observing their work, admiring the little bursts of creativity.
As you pass by the window, your gaze drifts outside, where a few children are running and playing on the soccer field. You let out a sigh, your fingers subconsciously tracing the pendant of your necklace.
Itâs the only thing that connects you to him, to the one that got away, to the one you let slip right through your fingers, even when it hurt to do so. You close your eyes for a brief moment, and his image floods your mind. The way his eyes sparkled when he smiled, the warmth of his touch, the comfort of his presence.
You miss him so badly, your chest tightening with the weight of it. But you push the feeling down, swallowing the ache in your heart. You remind yourself why it had to end, why you had to walk away. But that doesnât make it hurt any less.
As you stare at the bleachers stand by the green field, a vivid and unpleasant memory creeps up your mind.
"Break up with him."
Junghyun's voice was calm, his eyes fixed on the empty soccer field ahead. The chilly evening breeze brushed past your hair, but it did little to cool the heat rising in your chest. You turned to look at him, disbelief written all over your face.
"What?" you asked, your voice carrying a mix of confusion and irritation. Junghyun was Jungkook's older brother, and his unexpected visit had left you completely on edge.
You had only met this man once before, a fleeting encounter when you accidentally bumped into him outside Jungkookâs apartment one morning. Seeing him now, unannounced at your workplace, caught you completely off guard.
"Break up with him, Y/N." he repeated, turning to face you this time. His gaze was piercing, his tone unyielding. "You know you two belong to completely separate worlds. Jungkook isnât in love... heâs just infatuated. And frankly..." he continued, his voice dropping with disdain. "Youâre nothing but a distraction."
You stared at him, your mind reeling from the audacity of his words. The traffic noise in the far distance felt like static compared to the ringing in your ears. "Are you serious right now?" you managed to say, your tone sharper than you intended.
Junghyun didnât flinch. "Iâm completely serious. Do you think this little fling of yours will lead to anything? Jungkook has responsibilities... he has a company to run, a legacy to uphold. Youâre a kindergarten teacher, Y/n. A sweet girl, sure, but not someone who can keep up with him."
His words stung, but you refused to show it. "Jungkook loves me." you stated firmly, your voice unwavering. "I know how he feels about me. So whatever youâre trying to pull, it wonât work."
Junghyun scoffed, shaking his head. "Love? You call this love? Heâs smitten, sure, but that doesnât mean itâll last. Youâll only hold him back."
You clenched your fists, your chest tightening with frustration. Every instinct in you wanted to yell at him, to tell him how wrong he was, how little he knew about what you and Jungkook shared.
You breathed heavily, your eyes narrowing as they locked onto him. "I'm going to pretend we never had this conversation." you said, your voice steady despite the turmoil bubbling inside. Without waiting for a response, you turned on your heel, stepping off the bleacher stands and ready to head back inside.
âHanyung Hospital.â Junghyunâs voice suddenly rang out, stopping you dead in your tracks. Your breath hitched, and your eyebrows furrowed as your back remained turned to him. A wave of unease settled over you, his words striking a chord you wished he hadnât found.
âIsnât that where your brother is admitted?â His tone was sharp, laced with a smirk you didnât need to see to recognize.
Slowly, you turned to face him, your heart racing as panic flashed across your features. Had this man done a background check on you? Your mind reeled at the thought, fear and anger coursing through you in equal measure.
Junghyunâs smirk deepened as he saw the panic etched on your face. âGuess I know a little too much about you, sweetheart.â he said smoothly, his words dripping with a smug satisfaction.
Your fists clenched at your sides, but your voice caught in your throat. The realization that he had gone to such lengths made your skin crawl, and a sense of dread settled in your stomach.
"See, this is the problem with you lowlifes..." Junghyun sneered, his voice dripping with disrespect. "You have so many weaknesses, yet you never stop dreaming big." He let out a cruel laugh, his eyes glinting with amusement at your stunned silence.
You stared at him, your throat tightening as if the words you wanted to say were caught in a vice. "I heard heâs been in a coma for four years." he continued, his tone casual, almost mocking.
Your eyes stung with unshed tears, the weight of his words pressing down on your chest. The mention of your brother... the very core of your vulnerability, felt like a dagger twisting in your heart.
âMaybe I should make sure this coma lasts foreverââ
"What?" The word burst out of you before he could finish. Panic surged through you, visible in the way your breathing quickened. Junghyunâs smirk widened, his eyes lighting up with satisfaction at your reaction. He relished the fear and desperation etched across your face, feeding off the control he had over the situation.
"Leave my brother out of this." you managed to say, your voice low but firm, fists clenched tightly at your sides. "This has nothing to do with him."
You forced yourself to regulate your breathing, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions that were threatening to spill over. But deep down, you knew exactly what this man was doing. And it felt like a threat too enormous to escape.
Junghyunâs smirk only deepened, his silence more unsettling than words. It was as though he reveled in watching you squirm under the weight of his insinuations.
Your mind raced, every possible scenario flashing before you. The influence Jungkookâs family wielded wasnât just intimidating, it was terrifying. They were rich, powerful, and connected in ways you could only imagine.
For all you knew, they could probably make someone disappear without a trace. And standing face-to-face with Junghyun, you started to think that was your chilling reality.
You swallowed hard, meeting his gaze with as much resolve as you could muster, but the unease in your chest lingered. You felt trapped, cornered by an enemy who knew just where to strike to hurt you the most.
"Well, sweetheart, I want to leave him out of this too..." Junghyun sighed, his tone mockingly sympathetic. "And you know exactly what you need to do for that to happen."
His words struck like a hammer, each syllable weighing heavier than the last. You felt your whole world collapsing around you, the walls closing in with no way out. You felt suffocated. Cornered. Powerless.
Your gaze dropped to your feet, tears pooling in your eyes despite your desperate attempts to hold them back. The fight within you slowly crumbled, leaving only the unbearable weight of his ultimatum.
You clenched your fists, your nails digging into your palms as you fought to keep yourself composed.
"I'll break up with him." you whispered finally, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. A tear slipped down your cheek, the first crack in the dam as the reality of your surrender settled in.
Junghyun stepped down from the bleacher stands, his slow footsteps growing louder in your ears. You didnât move, your feet rooted to the ground as if the weight of your decision had physically anchored you.
He stopped in front of you, and you felt his presence, his amusement radiating like poison. A soft laugh escaped him, sending shivers down your spine.
"Now that was easy, wasnât it?" he mocked, patting your head like you were a child who had just followed orders. Your jaw tightened, teeth gritting at the humiliating gesture, but you remained silent.
"And this goes without saying, but... Jungkook should never hear about this encounter." Junghyun said, his voice low and taunting as he stepped closer.
You didnât respond, your throat too tight and your mind too fogged with fear and anger to formulate a reply.
He smirked at your silence before brushing past you, deliberately bumping into your shoulder as if to remind you just how insignificant he believed you to be. The force was slight, but it felt heavier, laden with the weight of everything heâd taken away from you in the matter of mere minutes.
The chilly breeze cut through the quiet, and you felt it settle deep into your bones, a reminder of just how cold the world could be.
"Miss Choi!" a little voice pierces through the haze of your flashback, pulling you back to reality. Your eyes shift from the bleacher stands outside to the source of the voice. A little girl waves her broken color pencil in the air, her tiny face scrunched in distress.
You force a smile, the corners of your lips lifting as you walk towards her. "Give me that, let me sharpen it for you, Sera." you say softly, patting her head. She nods cutely, her eyes wide with trust and gratitude.
You exhale deeply, the weight in your chest still pressing down as you make your way to the trash can. As the sharpener scrapes against the pencil, you think to yourself. Stop dwelling on the past.
You knew how deeply you felt for Jungkook. He was more than just a fleeting love... he was a part of you, your safe place. But the weight of Junghyun's threat had been too much to bear. It wasnât a fight you could win, not against soemone as powerful as him.
The memory of that day gnaws at you, the helplessness, the bitterness of making a decision you despised with every fiber of your being. But what choice did you have?
Handing the pencil back to Sera, you muster another soft smile. Her joyful expression tugs at your heart, a stark contrast to the storm inside you.
All you can do now is hope that Jungkook is living a happy life, far from the shadows of the truth that forced you apart.
//
Jungkook adjusts his position in the sleek leather chair, trying to focus on the ongoing meeting. The conference room hums with the low murmur of voices as his team discusses the logistics of their next community outreach initiative.
The large screen at the front displays a vibrant presentation, but his mind drifts, struggling to stay anchored in the moment.
âMr. Jeon.â Eunwoo, the Chief Operating Officer, speaks up, pulling him back to reality. âWeâre finalizing the details for the event at the Sunflower Orphanage this weekend.â he says, his tone calm but purposeful.
âItâs part of our âHealthy Futuresâ program.â Eunwoo continues, âWhere we teach the kids about nutrition and provide them with tools to build healthier habits.â
Jungkook nods, his jaw tightening slightly. He taps his pen against the notepad in front of him, the blank page mirroring his lack of focus. âGood. Ensure we send enough materials for the interactive sessions. Iâll review the activity plans later today.â
Eunwoo presses on. âWeâre also organizing a cooking demonstration for the older kids and distributing care packages with nutritious snacks and recipe guides. It might be a good idea for you to attend. I think the kids would really enjoy meeting you.â
Jungkook exhales softly, running a hand through his hair. Public appearances at these events are part of his responsibility, something he takes seriously. Yet, the thought of being surrounded by bright-eyed children feels heavier than usual, a strange weight pressing against his chest.
âIâll check my schedule.â he replies, his tone measured, masking the unease he canât quite shake.
As the meeting concludes, Jungkook steps out of the conference room, loosening his tie as he makes his way towards his office. The familiar click of shoes on the polished floor follows close behind, signaling his secretary, Jimin, is trailing him.
âYour schedule is free, Mr. Jeon.â Jimin remarks, a teasing edge in his voice. âItâs literally the weekend.â Jungkook rolls his eyes, letting out a long sigh. âI know, but I just donât feel like going.â he mutters, his stride purposeful as he heads towards his cabin.
Jimin quickens his pace to match Jungkookâs, his tone light but persistent. âThe kids would love it, Mr. Jeon. Plus, itâs your responsibility.â
Jungkook groans inwardly, knowing thereâs no winning an argument when Jimin uses that reasoning. âFine.â he relents, glancing over his shoulder with a pointed glare. âBut... youâre coming with me.â
âOf course.â Jimin quips with a smirk, unfazed. âI go wherever my boss goes.â
Jungkook shakes his head, a faint smile tugging at his lips despite himself, before pushing open the door to his cabin. âYouâre insufferable.â he mutters, disappearing inside. Jimin grins to himself, adjusting his tie. âItâs part of the job.â he mutters quietly before heading back to his desk.
//
The familiar scent of antiseptic and faint floral air freshener envelops you as you step into the hospital. You glance around, taking in the sight of doctors briskly walking in their white coats, nurses tending to charts, and patients navigating the lobby with family members by their sides. The soft hum of conversations and the occasional beep of monitors create a somber yet steady rhythm.
You make your way to the reception desk, offering a small smile to the woman behind the counter. Her face lights up with recognition.
âYouâre early today.â she notes gently. You nod, your expression soft. âI just missed Beomgyu.â you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. She smiles warmly, her eyes filled with understanding. âGo ahead.â she says, motioning towards the elevator.
You thank her with a brief smile before turning and stepping into the elevator, pressing the button to take you to the floor where your brotherâs room is.
The soft chime of the elevator brings you back to reality as the doors slide open. You walk down the familiar corridor, each step feeling heavier as you approach his room. Pushing the door open, your breath catches in your throat as your eyes land on Beomgyu. His motionless body lies on the bed, the faint hum of medical equipment the only sign of life. Four years. Itâs been four long years, and he hasnât moved an inch.
You sit down in the chair next to his bed, your hands trembling as you reach for his. His hand is cold in yours, and the weight of it brings tears to your eyes. But you blink them away, determined to stay strong.
âHey, Gyu.â you whisper, brushing your thumb gently over his knuckles. Your voice is soft, filled with a bittersweet mix of hope and sorrow. âIâm here.â
No matter how many times you see him like this, it never gets easier. Each visit feels like a fresh wound, a new wave of pain crashing over you. He was your only family and the sight of his still body, the steady beep of the monitor, and the faint rise and fall of his chest... it all feels both familiar and unbearable. Every time, itâs as if a tiny piece of your heart breaks all over again.
As you stare at his face, a sigh escapes your lips, heavy with the weight of countless unshed tears. "Gyu..." you whisper, your voice barely audible in the stillness of the room. "Itâs getting so hard." Your words falter, carried by the quiet hum of the machines that have become the soundtrack of his existence.
"No matter what I do... I just... I just canât stop thinking about him." you confess, closing your eyes as the first tear escapes, tracing a slow, burning path down your cheek. Your grip on Beomgyuâs hand tightens, your thumb brushing over his knuckles in slow, rhythmic motions. Though his hand remains lifeless, you hold on as if itâs your last tether to sanity, as if somehow he can feel your anguish.
Maybe he hears me, you think, clinging to the hope that keeps you returning to this room day after day. "I miss him so much." you murmur, your voice cracking under the weight of those words. The sob that escapes your lips feels like a betrayal, exposing just how deeply the pain has taken root.
Beomgyu never met Jungkook... yet, in your heart, you know that if he ever did... he would have absolutely loved him.
You remember that one day you brought Jungkook here, to visit Beomgyu, his hand firmly holding yours as you led him down these sterile hallways.
He had sat beside you, his arm wrapped protectively around your trembling frame, as you told him about the accident that had stolen Beomgyuâs vibrant spirit and left him in this suspended state. Jungkookâs presence had been an anchor that day, steady and reassuring, his soft murmurs giving you the courage to speak through your tears.
And then, there was that promise. You can still hear your own voice, shaky but determined, as you looked into Jungkookâs eyes. "When Beomgyu wakes up, youâll be the first to know." The memory feels like a lifetime ago, a fragment of a world where hope felt tangible and love wasnât wrapped in layers of regret.
Now, that promise lingers like a ghost, haunting you with its impossibility. The weight of it presses against your chest, suffocating in its quiet accusation.
You lower your head, your tears falling silently onto the sterile sheets, wishing for a reality where things could have been different... where Beomgyu would wake up, and Jungkook would still be yours to call.
//
After spending about forty minutes sitting by your brotherâs side, you feel the weight of time press down on you. With a reluctant sigh, you lean forward, pressing a gentle kiss on his cool forehead. The stillness of the room wraps around you like an unwanted embrace, amplifying the ache in your chest.
You stand, taking a moment to drink in the sight of him, his face so serene yet painfully distant. Finally, you force yourself to turn away, the sharp pull of grief hurting you even as your feet carry you towards the door.
The hospital hallways stretch before you, illuminated by fluorescent lights that feel too bright for the heaviness clouding your heart. The muted chatter of families and nurses echoes faintly around you, but you tune it out, your focus on the floor ahead.
Every step feels heavy, yet familiar... grief walking alongside you like an old companion. Youâre lost in thought, your mind lingering on memories you can't quite hold onto, when the sharp ring of your phone jolts you back to the present.
You pause, fishing the device out of your bag. The name on the screen makes a faint smile touch your lips. "Hey, Joonie." you greet, your tone soft but warm.
âOh my god Y/N...Hi... where have you been?â Namjoonâs voice filters through, steady yet tinged with his usual concern. âI was just visiting Beomgyu.â you reply, stepping into the elevator as the doors slide open.
âAh...â he murmurs, his voice dropping to a gentler note. âSorry if I disturbed you.â
âNo, not at all.â you assure him, leaning against the elevator wall. âI was just about to leave anyway. Whatâs up?â Thereâs a slight pause on the other end before he continues talking. âI wanted to check if youâre coming to the orphanage this weekend. You know... for the volunteering session.â
The mention of the orphanage brings a warmth to your chest. Your lips curve into a genuine smile as you think of the place thatâs come to feel like a second home. âOf course Iâll be there.â you reply without hesitation.
âThat's great!!â Namjoon says, a hint of relief in his tone. âMrs. Lee mentioned thereâs going to be some kind of workshop for the kids, though Iâm not really sure what itâs about.â
You hum thoughtfully, stepping out of the elevator as it dings open on the ground floor. âA workshop? That sounds interesting. I guess weâll just have to wait and see what it's about.â you muse, the faint hum of curiosity threading through your voice.
Namjoon chuckles lightly. âYeah, seems like it. Anyways, you get home safe, Y/N-ah. I'll see you on the weekend.â he says. âSee you Joonie... Bye.â you reply, your smile lingering as the call ends.
As you slip your phone back into your bag and step into the cool evening air, a quiet sense of purpose washes over you. The orphanage, specifically, the Sunflower Orphanage, holds a deeply rooted place in your heart.
Itâs not just a building, itâs a chapter of your life, a part of your story written alongside your brother, Beomgyu as the two of you grew up there and navigated a world that often felt too vast and too indifferent.
Volunteering there every weekend for the past month with Namjoon hasnât just been about giving back to the place that shaped you, itâs become a way to honor the struggles you and Beomgyu once faced.
Itâs a way of making peace with the past while helping to build a brighter future for the children still living it. The act of helping others has started to feel like a balm for your soul, a small piece of healing in a journey that has felt insurmountable at times.
More than that, itâs helped you stay busy, distracted, keeping your mind from wandering too often to the void that has been lingering in your life for the past four months, an emptiness youâre not ready to confront fully yet.
Every smile from the kids, every hug, every story they share with you reminds you why youâve always wanted to be a kindergarten teacher.
Now, being able to follow your dream and also volunteer at the very orphanage you grew up in, doing your best to give these children the care and love you once longed for, feels profoundly rewarding.
Thereâs a bittersweet comfort in walking the same halls you once did, now as a volunteer instead of a resident. You find joy in helping the kids paint their dreams on blank canvases, in reading stories that spark their imaginations, and in simply being a presence they can rely on.
The Orphanage, with its chipped walls and resilient spirit, has become more than a part of your history... itâs a part of your healing, too.
//
Saturday
"Shit, shit." you mutter under your breath, hastily paying the cab driver before dashing towards the entrance of the orphanage. You were supposed to be here early today, especially since you knew there was a workshop planned for the kids.
Mrs. Lee had mentioned needing help with the setup and cleanup, and youâd eagerly offered. But luck hadnât been on your side. First, your original cab broke down, forcing you to find another. Then, traffic decided to conspire against you, dragging out what shouldâve been a quick journey into an agonizing wait.
As you ran up the steps at the entrance, slightly out of breath, your eyes catch on something that brings you to an abrupt halt. A large banner hangs above the double doors, bold letters printed across it. The sight of it makes your stomach churn.
âNo way...â you whisper, realization dawning like a bucket of ice water poured over your head as you read the banner. âThis is⊠Jungkookâs workshop?â
You stand frozen, trying to process what youâre seeing. The placards stationed around the entrance leave no room for doubt. Each one bears the unmistakable logo of his company. The presentation materials stacked neatly by the door, the branded posters, and even the staff moving equipment inside all scream his involvement.
You inhale sharply, the air catching in your throat. Of course, it had to be here. Of all the orphanages in the city, the one youâve been volunteering at for the past month had to be the very place where Jungkook... your ex boyfriend, Jungkook... is hosting a workshop. The universe really has a twisted sense of humor sometimes.
âFuck.â you mutter, closing your eyes and trying to calm the storm brewing in your chest. You press a hand against the doorframe to steady yourself, taking deep breaths to fight off the anxiety creeping up your spine.
Your mind races with questions youâre not sure you want answers to. Is he here? Or is this one of those events where his employees take the lead while he stays behind the scenes? Should you turn around and leave before anyone notices, or would that make things worse?
You glance back at the cab, still idling by the curb. For a fleeting second, the idea of jumping back in and leaving tempts you. But then you hear the sound of childrenâs laughter filtering through the open doors, mingling with the excited chatter of the staff, and you know you canât just leave.
Bracing yourself, you take another deep breath and step inside, your heart pounding harder with each step. The familiar warmth of the orphanage wraps around you, but today it feels heavier, tinged with the tension youâre carrying. You repeat a silent mantra, trying to ground yourself. Stay professional. This is about the kids. Nothing else matters.
âIâll just⊠Iâll just pretend I donât know him.â you mutter under your breath, nodding to yourself as your footsteps echo in the hallway.
//
As you step into the bustling main hall, your eyes land on Namjoon almost immediately. The minute he spots you too, it doesnât take long for him to weave his way through the crowd towards you, his expression a mix of shock and concern. âY/NâŠâ he begins, his voice low but urgent as he reaches you. âI had no idea this was going to be his workshop.â The disbelief in his tone mirrors your own feelings.
You throw your head back, a groan escaping your lips. âI know. What the hell am I supposed to do? Is he really here, though? Or is it just his team running the workshop?â you ask, a flicker of hope creeping into your voice as you glance at him.
Namjoon hesitates, his lips pressing into a thin line as if heâs trying to cushion the blow. âUnfortunatelyâŠâ he starts, his tone apologetic. âHeâs here. I just saw him talking to Mrs. Lee a few minutes ago.â You close your eyes, rubbing your temples. âThis is so, so, so not fair.â you mutter, your frustration bubbling over.
âHeyâŠâ Namjoonâs voice softens as he places his hands on your shoulders, steadying you. His calm presence is like an anchor in the midst of your swirling emotions. âYouâre going to be fine. I know breaking up with him was hard for you, but right now... the best you can do is just stay professional. Pretend like you donât know him and Iâm sure he wonât approach you⊠I hope.â he adds with a small, uncertain smile.
You let out a shaky sigh, your shoulders slumping under the weight of the situation. Namjoonâs logic makes sense, but it does little to calm the storm brewing inside you. âI havenât seen him in four months, Joon.â you admit, your voice shaky. âAnd now, of all times, I have to see him? Here?â
Namjoon offers you a sympathetic look, his hand squeezing your shoulder reassuringly. âI know itâs hard, but I know youâve got this. Just try your best to avoid him.â
You nod slowly, though youâre far from convinced. This isnât a situation you can simply walk away from. Jungkookâs presence is inevitable now, and the thought of seeing him again, after everything, sends a whirlwind of emotions crashing through you.
You're aware Jungkook won't be expecting to see you here today and you can't help but wonder what his reaction will be when he actually ends up seeing you. Would his expression shift the moment he spots you? Would it be one of cold indifference, barely a flicker of acknowledgment? Or something sharper like anger, disappointment, perhaps even sadness? The possibilities swirl in your mind, each one more unsettling than the last.
Shaking your head, you force yourself to brush the questions aside. Thereâs no time to dwell on this right now. You take a steadying breath and look around the busy hall. Itâs high time you start helping out. After all, youâre already late, and the least you can do is make up for lost time by pitching in wherever youâre needed.
//
Once all the kids are settled in their seats, their excitement bubbling over in the form of giggles and whispers, you step back, making your way to the back of the room. Namjoon is already there, his arms crossed loosely as he leans against the wall. You take your place beside him, exhaling deeply, trying to calm your heart and mind.
As the workshop begins, your eyes inevitably drift to the front of the room. Jungkook stands there, effortlessly commanding attention. Heâs dressed sharply but casually, the rolled-up sleeves of his button-down shirt exposing his tattooed forearm. His presence is magnetic, and itâs no surprise that even the youngest kids are riveted as he begins to speak.
âThis program is called 'Healthy Futures'.â he starts, his tone warm and inviting. âItâs about giving you the knowledge and tools to take care of your health. Eating the right food, staying active, and understanding how to take care of your bodies... itâs not just important now, but itâll help you for years to come.â
He gestures to a large poster board displaying colorful illustrations of fruits, vegetables, and simple meal plans. âToday, weâll talk about nutrition, and weâll even have some fun activities to show you how to make smart food choices. Youâll see how easy it can be to make meals that are both delicious and good for you.â
The kids are wide-eyed, soaking up every word. Jungkookâs ability to connect with them is undeniable. As he dives into the presentation, explaining concepts in simple, engaging terms and peppering his talk with questions to keep the kids involved, a small smile tugs at your lips.
You watch as he crouches down to a childâs level, handing them a flashcard and encouraging them to name the food group it belongs to. The way his eyes light up with genuine enthusiasm when the child gets it right is a sight that momentarily softens the ache in your chest.
You canât help but smile, even if itâs bittersweet. Seeing him like this... passionate, caring, and entirely in his element... reminds you of the man you fell in love with. His natural charm, the way he effortlessly makes others feel seen and valued, is just as captivating now as it was then.
Namjoon nudges you gently. âYou okay?â he asks, his voice low. You nod again, your gaze fixed on Jungkook. âYeah.â you whisper, though the lump forming in your throat makes it a struggle to get the word out. âIâm fine.â you say.
//
As Jungkook wraps up his talk, his voice is steady and warm, a reflection of the effort heâs poured into making this workshop meaningful. âAlright, kids, now itâs time for the fun part...â he announces with a grin.
âMy team is going to help you make a simple, healthy snack, something delicious and easy that you can make yourselves... so follow them and they'll guide you through the process." he says.
The children erupt in cheers and applause, their excitement echoing through the hall. Jungkookâs smile widens at their enthusiasm, the earlier reluctance he felt about being here melting away. Itâs moments like these that make everything worth it. Seeing their faces light up is a reward far greater than any professional accolade.
As the kids begin to disperse, following the other employees out of the hall, Jungkook takes a moment to glance around, his eyes scanning the room to take in the atmosphere. And then he suddenly sees you.
Jungkook lips part a watches you intently, his eyes trailing as you exchange words with Namjoon before following him out of the room. His throat feels dry, his mind reeling. She's⊠here? The words echo in his head as his heart pounds erratically against his ribcage.
He gulps, trying to steady himself, but the unexpected sight of you has thrown him completely off balance. Before he can fully process his spiraling thoughts, Jiminâs voice cuts through the haze.
âMr. Jeon, shall we?â he prompts, his tone professional but gentle, unknowingly grounding Jungkook back to the present. He blinks, nodding faintly as he forces his legs to move, trailing behind his secretary towards the activity room.
But just when he enters the activity room, what he doesn't expect is for you to be the first person he sees. Youâre standing just a few feet away, holding a precarious stack of trays to distribute it among the kids. Your focus is elsewhere, until your eyes suddenly meet his. The world tilts for a moment as your face registers a mix of shock and disbelief.
The impact of seeing him here, so close, sends a jolt through you. Your grip falters, and before you can stop it, the trays slip from your hands, the clattering sound echoing through the room as everything scatters across the floor.
The kids go silent, their chatter replaced by a stunned hush as all eyes turn towards you. The embarrassment and panic that flood your system make your skin prickle, but before you can even begin to move, Jungkook is already in front of you.
âAre you... are you okay?â His voice is low, concerned, his hands gently closing over yours as if to steady you. His touch is firm yet hesitant, and the warmth of his palms against your skin sends a shiver through you.
You can barely process his words, your heart pounding too loudly in your ears. Your lips part, but no sound comes out as you struggle to respond. The way heâs looking at you... those familiar dark eyes filled with a mixture of worry and something deeper, makes it impossible to think straight.
âI uhhh... Iâm fine.â you finally stammer, your voice barely above a whisper. Your cheeks burn as you quickly try to pull your hands back, but he doesnât let go immediately. His fingers linger for a second longer than necessary, as if heâs reluctant to lose the contact.
Namjoon, having watched the entire scene unfold, clears his throat as he approaches. âY/N, are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?â he asks, his tone gentle yet purposeful, as if trying to diffuse the tension.
âIâm fine.â you repeat, louder this time, forcing yourself to look away from Jungkook as you pull your hand away from his and focus on the mess on the floor. You crouch down, starting to pick up the scattered trays, desperate to avoid his eyes. Namjoon joins you without a word, but you can feel Jungkookâs gaze still fixed on you.
Jimin steps forward, clearly confused by the sudden commotion. âMr. Jeon, should we...â he starts, glancing between Jungkook and the scene before him, but Jungkook barely acknowledges him. His focus is solely on you, his mind racing as he tries to process everything.
For Jungkook, this moment feels surreal. He hadnât prepared himself for seeing you... not here, not like this. And now, with you so close yet seemingly so far, the weight of everything unsaid between you presses down on him like a tidal wave.
He wants nothing more than to just hold you, to pull you close and take in every detail of your face. These four months have been nothing short of hell, filled with an unrelenting ache for your presence.
But as he watches you so obviously avoiding him, he feels rooted to the spot, his mind scrambling to find the right words... words that refuse to come out.
//
Once the kids are fully immersed in their activity, you quietly slip out of the room, desperate for a moment to catch your breath. The weight of Jungkookâs presence had pressed on you relentlessly for the past twenty minutes, his gaze a constant reminder of the unresolved emotions between you two. Each stolen glance felt like it peeled back layers of the wall youâd carefully built around yourself.
The hallway is quiet as you walk towards the large window at the far end, your footsteps muffled against the polished floor. You pause there, gazing out at the orphanageâs small garden, the scene outside blurring as your mind spins.
Your fingers find the pendant hidden beneath your sweater, and you begin to fidget with it, the familiar texture grounding you. This pendant, this tiny piece of jewelry, holds a weight of its own, a connection to a past that feels both distant and ever-present.
Seeing Jungkook up close had hit you harder than you expected. He hadnât changed. He was still just as beautiful, still radiated that quiet warmth that had always drawn people to him. The same warmth youâd once found comfort in.
And you missed him... God, you missed him in a way that made your chest ache. But that only made it worse. Because you couldnât let yourself fall apart, not now, not when you had to face him. Youâre so lost in thought that the sound of a familiar voice startles you.
âY/n.â
Your body tenses instantly. You donât turn, your fingers reflexively tucking the pendant back beneath your sweater as if itâs some fragile secret you need to protect. You stay facing the window, your breaths shallow as you try to steady your heartbeat.
âYou⊠wonât even look at me?â Jungkook's voice is soft, hesitant, but the pain in it cuts through you like a blade. You bite your lip, your eyes still fixed on the view outside, but all you can feel is him. The rawness of his words sinks into you, heavy and unshakable.
âY/nâŠâ His voice comes again, quieter this time, almost breaking. Itâs not just a name... itâs a plea, one you wish you could ignore but know you canât.
You hate this. You hate that Jungkook, of all people... the kindest, most selfless soul youâve ever known... is standing here now, burdened by the pain you caused him. You hate that youâre the one who turned his world upside down. And yet, even now, you canât bring yourself to face him.
You take a deep breath, steeling yourself as you turn to face him. Your expression is blank, a carefully constructed mask. âWhat?â The word comes out cold, clipped, and you instantly regret the sharpness of your tone.
Jungkookâs gaze softens as he studies you, his dark eyes tracing the contours of your face. You still look the same... still breathtaking, still the person he fell hopelessly in love with. But thereâs something different too, a guardedness that wasnât there before, a distance he doesnât know how to bridge.
âHow⊠how have you been? Itâs been a while.â he says softly, his voice laced with hesitation as he takes a tentative step closer.
âIâm fine.â The words come quickly, too quickly, as if youâre desperate to end this conversation before it can even begin. You donât meet his gaze for long, your eyes flicking away like youâre afraid of what he might see.
Every second in his presence feels like an eternity, the weight of the emotions swirling between you both, suffocating. You canât do this. Not now, not like this. The effort of keeping your face neutral, of pretending you donât feel the same pull towards him that you always have... itâs too much.
Without another word, you move to step past him, your focus solely on the hallway ahead. But before you can escape, his hand reaches out, catching your wrist. The warmth of his touch sends a jolt through you, halting you in your tracks.
âWait.â he says, his voice quiet but firm. Thereâs a vulnerability in his tone that makes your chest tighten, and for a moment, you canât bring yourself to look at him.
You take a deep breath, feeling the warmth of his hand wrapped gently around your wrist. Itâs almost unbearable... how much harder this is than youâd expected. Having him so close, right there behind you, stirs emotions youâve fought tirelessly to suppress.
Slowly, you turn over your shoulder, finally meeting his eyes. The intensity in them is overwhelming, a deep sea of emotions you canât bring yourself to name. They hold so much... questions, pain, longing and you feel a lump rise in your throat as you let out a shaky breath.
âLet me go, Jungkook.â you say quietly, your voice steadier than you feel. You try to tug your wrist free, but his grip tightens ever so slightly, not enough to hurt but enough to keep you rooted in place.
âI didnât expect to see you hereâŠâ he says softly, his voice low and filled with something you canât quite place. Heâs ignoring your plea, but thereâs no malice in it, only hesitation, like he doesnât want to let go just yet. âIâm volunteering.â you reply flatly, forcing the words out without a hint of emotion. âAnd I need to go.â you add, your tone clipped as you yank your wrist out of his hold.
This time, he lets you go, his hand falling to his side as he watches you stride away from him as fast as you can manage. You donât dare look back, even as you feel his gaze linger on you, burning into your retreating figure. Your heart pounds with each step, your emotions bubbling dangerously close to the surface, but you donât stop. You canât.
You barge into the restroom, letting the door shut heavily behind you. The cool air does nothing to soothe the storm raging inside you. Instantly, your hands fly up to cover your face, a desperate attempt to stifle the sobs threatening to escape.
Your chest heaves as you fight against the tears that burn at the edges of your eyes, your palms pressing against your cheeks as if holding yourself together. But itâs futile. The weight of seeing him again... his voice, his touch, the unspoken pain in his eyes, comes crashing down on you all at once.
A strangled breath escapes your lips, and you lean against the sink for support. Your fingers grip the edge of the cold porcelain as if itâs the only thing keeping you grounded. You stare at your reflection in the mirror, your blurred vision making it hard to focus.
âThis isnât how it was supposed to be.â you whisper to yourself, your voice breaking. Your tears fall freely now, streaking down your cheeks as the emotions youâve bottled up for months finally spill over. The ache of his presence, the agony of your unresolved feelings... itâs all too much.
You press a trembling hand against your chest, trying to steady the harsh pounding of your heart. For a moment, you close your eyes, taking deep breaths as you attempt to compose yourself. But the pain lingers, sharp and unrelenting.
//
The workshop winds down, the chatter of children and clinking of utensils slowly fading into the background. Youâve spent the entire afternoon and evening carefully maneuvering to avoid Jungkookâs gaze, your heart in a constant state of unease.
Every glance he threw your way, every fleeting moment you felt his presence nearby, only made the weight in your chest heavier.
By the time the clock strikes 8, exhaustion has seeped into your bones, not just from the work but also from the emotional toll of the day. Mrs. Lee thanks you warmly as you help her finish setting up dinner. Namjoon remains by your side, quiet but supportive, his presence a comforting anchor in the chaos of your thoughts.
âYou did great today.â he murmurs softly as you both step out of the main hall, his tone gentle. You offer him a faint smile, appreciating his effort to lighten your mood, but the turmoil inside you is too heavy to shake off completely.
Finally, you decide itâs time to leave. Walking down the stairs by the entrance, you feel the cool evening breeze brush against your cheeks. You glance up at the darkening sky, the stars peeking through faintly, their distant glow a stark contrast to the storm swirling within you.
Pulling your coat tighter around you, you fix your bag on your shoulder and bury your hands in your pockets. The thought of going home to the solace of your quiet living room, sappy rom-coms, and a tub of ice cream feels like the only reprieve youâll get tonight.
As you reach the bus stop, you take a seat on the cold bench, staring at the empty road ahead. The world around you feels quiet and still, yet your mind is an undying chaos. Your thoughts drift back to Jungkook... his voice, his touch, the way his eyes silently pleaded with you earlier and just how much you miss him.
You sigh heavily, resting your elbows on your knees and burying your face in your hands. The ache of seeing him again lingers like a ghost, refusing to leave you be.
As you attempt to gather your thoughts, the soft hum of an approaching engine disrupts your reverie. Your head lifts instinctively, and before you can process it, a sleek car pulls to a stop right in front of you. The headlights cast a gentle glow on the empty road, but itâs the sight of the driver that makes your breath hitch.
Your lips part in surprise, your brows furrowing as the window rolls down. There he is, his dark eyes fixed on you.
âY/n.â Jungkook calls softly, his voice carrying over the quiet evening. You sigh, a mix of frustration and weariness bubbling within you. Without a word, you stand, shifting your gaze to the left, hoping to catch sight of the bus that feels agonizingly far from arriving.
âY/n, itâs late. Let me drop you home.â Jungkook says, his tone gentle but insistent. Your heart stumbles at the offer, the thought of being alone with him sending your nerves into overdrive. You donât trust yourself... not with how raw and exposed you feel after today. So, you do what youâve been doing all afternoon. You ignore him.
Fixing your gaze on the road ahead, you refuse to acknowledge him. âY/n, pleaseâŠâ His voice softens, almost breaking. You clench your jaw, the plea digging into you, forcing you to glance at him. âJust go, Jungkook.â you snap flatly, your tone colder than you intended.
Jungkookâs grip on the steering wheel tightens as your words hit him like a blow. He swallows hard, his gaze never leaving you. âIâll just drop you home. Please, itâs not safe this late.â he persists, his determination unwavering.
You shake your head, muttering under your breath as you start walking down the pavement, each step heavier than the last. But Jungkook, true to his nature, doesnât back down so easily.
The car begins to crawl forward, matching your pace as you walk. His persistence is both frustrating and heartbreaking. You can feel his gaze through the window, silently urging you to stop, to listen, to look at him.
âY/n.â he calls out again, his voice tinged with desperation. Your chest tightens as you quicken your steps, hoping to outrun the storm of emotions brewing within you. But no matter how far you walk, Jungkook is right there, his car trailing you like a shadow, refusing to let you go.
The sound of the car suddenly stopping and the door opening breaks through the rhythm of your footsteps, and you stiffen. You donât turn around, determined to maintain your resolve, but then you feel it... a firm yet gentle hand gripping your arm, spinning you around effortlessly.
Your eyes widen as you find yourself face-to-face with Jungkook, the intensity in his gaze pinning you in place. His breath is uneven, as if heâs been chasing you, though he hasnât. âPlease.â he says, his voice raw and pleading. âJust let me drop you home. Thatâs literally all Iâm asking.â
His words hang heavy between you, and for a moment, you close your eyes, exhaling sharply. His persistence is unrelenting, and deep down, you know your bus isnât arriving anytime soon to save you from this situation.
You pull your arm free from his grasp, the warmth of his touch lingering even as you step back. Without meeting his gaze, you walk towards his car, your resolve cracking under the weight of exhaustion and inevitability.
Sliding into the passenger seat, you settle into the cold leather with a resigned sigh, the door closing behind you with a soft thud. He'll just drop me home, you convince yourself as you donât look at him, keeping your gaze fixed ahead.
Jungkook quietly gets back into the driverâs seat, his movements careful as if afraid to shatter the fragile silence that now envelops the two of you. The hum of the engine rises again, but neither of you say anything, the tension stretching thin as the car begins to move.
As Jungkook drives, the rhythmic sound of the tires on the road fills the car, but the silence between you feels louder, heavier. Your gaze remains fixed outside the window, the passing streetlights casting fleeting glows across your face. Your hands clutch your purse tightly on your lap, a silent anchor to steady your racing emotions.
The stillness is suddenly broken by his voice, soft but heavy with restraint. âSo⊠how have you been?â he asks, his eyes focused on the road ahead.
You don't answer. You donât move. You donât flinch. Your determination to stay silent grows stronger as you think about the consequences of letting him back into your life. The jagged edges of your reality press against you like shards of glass.
âY/nâŠâ he calls out again, his voice gentler this time, but still, you keep your gaze fixed outside, ignoring the crackling tension in the air.
He exhales audibly, the pain in his voice more evident now. âY/n, I havenât seen you in four months... and now youâre here, but youâre acting like I donât even exist.â His words tremble, and you feel the sharp sting of guilt twisting in your chest.
âYouâre right here.â he murmurs, almost to himself. âBut why do you feel so far away?â
Your lips tighten into a thin line, and your grip on your purse grows tighter. You can feel his eyes on you, searching, pleading, but you refuse to meet his gaze. âAre you really not going to talk to me⊠at all?â he asks, his voice breaking slightly at the end.
Jungkook glances at your side profile, his knuckles white against the steering wheel as he fights to hold himself together. The hurt in his chest feels unbearable, a weight pressing harder with every second of your silence.
Heâs done his best to come to terms with your absence, with the breakup, even when the harsh reasons you gave felt like flimsy walls hiding something bigger. But now, sitting this close to you and being treated like a stranger, it cuts deeper than he expected.
âYou know whatâŠâ Jungkook suddenly mutters under his breath, and though you hear the shift in his tone, you donât move, donât react. But then the car swerves abruptly, jerking to the left. Your head snaps towards him, eyes wide with shock as you clutch the handlebar above your seat.
âJungkook!â you exclaim, your heart hammering as you notice the road signs signaling that heâs no longer heading towards your neighborhood.
âI canât do this anymore.â he says, his voice firm but tinged with exhaustion. His grip on the steering wheel tightens and his foot presses harder on the gas pedal, the car speeding up.
âJungkook, what are you doing?? Slow down !!â you demand, trying to mask the panic creeping into your voice. âWe need to talk.â he states simply, his eyes focused on the road ahead as if thereâs nothing else in the world but his determination.
Your breath catches in your throat, and your mind races. âJungkook, turn the car around.â you say firmly, though your voice wavers slightly.
But he doesnât listen. Instead, his jaw tightens, and the speed of the car increases further, the scenery outside blurring. Then it hits you... heâs heading in the direction towards his place.
âJungkookâŠâ you begin, your voice softer now, a mixture of anger and disbelief.
He doesnât answer this time, his silence carrying more weight than words ever could. His gaze remains locked forward, the muscles in his jaw ticking as if heâs trying to rein in the storm brewing within him.
You glance outside, feeling both trapped and helpless. Every instinct in you screams to argue, to demand that he stops, but a part of you... a small, stubborn part wonders what heâs so desperate to say.
After 10 tense minutes of silence, the car finally comes to a halt in front of Jungkook's building. He doesnât waste a second, stepping out of the car and slamming the door behind him. You watch him from the corner of your eye, your hands still gripping the purse on your lap, as he strides purposefully to your side of the car.
Before you can even process whatâs happening, he pulls the door open, and the chill of the night air sweeps over you, making you shiver. He leans down slightly, his dark eyes locking with yours, filled with an unrelenting determination that sends your heart racing.
âCome with me.â he says, his voice steady but soft as he extends a hand towards you. You stare at his hand, conflicted, the weight of the moment pressing down on your chest. You feel cornered, unable to escape this situation heâs forced you into.
âJungkookâŠâ you begin, but the words catch in your throat. He sighs, his shoulders sagging slightly, as if the plea in your voice strikes a chord in him. But before you can say anything else, he gently grabs your wrist. The touch is soft, hesitant, but thereâs an urgency to his movements as he guides you out of the car.
You stumble slightly, your body still resistant, but he steadies you with a firm yet careful grip. Heâs desperate, you can see it in the way his brows furrow, the way his lips press into a thin line as if heâs barely holding himself together. âJungkook, I...â you breathe out, the words getting stuck in your throat.
âJust⊠please.â he interrupts, his voice raw with emotion. âI just wanna talk.... Please.â
His eyes search yours, and you can feel the ache in them, the unspoken pain heâs been carrying. Your chest tightens, and for a moment, youâre frozen, unable to say no, unable to pull away. He doesnât give you a chance to argue further, his hand slipping from your wrist to your hand, his fingers curling around yours as he gently but firmly leads you towards his house.
You let out a shaky breath, the weight of the moment heavy in the air as you reluctantly follow him.
As Jungkook shuts the door to his apartment, the click echoes in the silence. He turns to face you, his eyes soft but piercing, like heâs searching for something heâs desperate to find.
âY/n.â he says, your name rolling off his tongue like a plea.
You try to avoid his gaze, looking anywhere but at him, but then his hands come up to cup your face, his warmth grounding you in a way that sends a pang through your chest. His touch is gentle, yet insistent, as if heâs afraid youâll disappear if he lets go.
âY/n, please.â he murmurs, his voice trembling. âJust talk to me.â
Your breath hitches, and you instinctively step back, only to feel the cool, unyielding wall against your back. Youâre cornered... literally and emotionally... and the weight of the moment bears down on you.
Your emotions, so carefully locked away, begin to bubble to the surface. Anger, regret, frustration, they all swirl together, threatening to consume you. Gritting your teeth, you grab his wrists and pull his hands away from your face.
âJust leave me alone.â you choke out, your voice breaking. The tears that have been fighting to escape finally spill over, cascading down your cheeks. Before you know it, youâre sobbing uncontrollably, your body trembling as the dam holding back your emotions shatters.
Jungkookâs eyes widen in shock as he watches you unravel before him. His heart clenches painfully at the sight of your tears, the sound of your sobs cutting through him like a knife. He steps closer instinctively, his hands hovering uncertainly as if unsure whether to comfort you or give you space.
âY/nâŠâ he begins, his voice soft and hesitant, but you shake your head violently, interrupting him.
âYou canât do this, Jungkook.â you cry out, your voice trembling with frustration. âAfter everything I did to cut you off⊠you canât just... just pull me back like this.â
Your words hit him like a blow, and he takes a shaky step back, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.
âDo you think this is easy for me?â he finally says, his voice breaking. âI didnât want to pull you back, Y/n. But how am I supposed to let you go when I donât even understand why you left?â
His words hang in the air, and you stare at him through your blurry vision, your heart pounding as his pain intertwines with yours. Youâre both standing on the edge of a precipice, the weight of your shared history threatening to pull you under.
The air between you feels heavy, thick with emotions neither of you can control anymore. Jungkookâs gaze locks onto your tear-streaked face, his breathing shallow as he watches the pain and turmoil in your eyes. Something inside him snaps, and before he can stop himself, he takes a step forward, closing the distance between you.
His hands cradle your face, trembling slightly, as he leans in and harshly presses his lips against yours. Itâs desperate, unrestrained, and raw. The suddenness of it makes you gasp, your breath hitching as his lips move against yours, pouring every unspoken word, every unanswered question into the kiss.
Your eyes flutter shut, and for a moment, your mind is overwhelmed by the flood of memories... his laugh, his touch, the way he used to make you feel like you were the only person that mattered. But as much as the kiss ignites a fire inside you, your tears donât stop.
Jungkook feels the wetness of your tears against his palms, and it pulls him back abruptly. He steps away, his face etched with regret and panic, as if realizing he may have crossed a line he shouldnât have.
âI... Iâm sorry.â he stammers, his voice shaking as he searches your face. âI shouldnât haveââ
Before he can finish, you grab the front of his shirt and pull him back towards you, your lips colliding with his in a kiss thatâs equally urgent and desperate. Your hands clutch onto him like heâs the only thing anchoring you to reality, and this time, the weight of all the emotions youâve been holding back crashes into him.
Your kiss is messy, tinged with anger, longing, and sorrow, but itâs real. Itâs the connection youâve been denying for so long. Jungkook responds immediately, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you closer as if afraid youâll slip away again.
The world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you in this moment, grappling with the emotions youâve tried so hard to suppress.
Your lips never part, not even for a second, as you start pulling each otherâs clothes off, letting them fall to the ground one after the other. Every single article of clothing gets discarded in a trail leading from his door step to his living room.
The heat between you intensifies, growing hotter and wilder with every second. Itâs like youâve been starving for each other, for this moment, this connection for so long that now you canât help but devour each other.
You know you shouldn't be doing this. You know you can't face the consequences of your impulsive actions, but your heart refuses to let go. You're completely consumed by the passion and intensity of the kiss, unable to pull yourself away even when you have so much on the line.
Even as you walk into his apartment, your lips remain connected, your hands gripping his arms, holding onto him as if youâre afraid heâll disappear if you let go. The world spins around you as he picks up the pace, guiding you to the couch. Your feet brush against the soft carpet, sending shivers up your leg, and before you know it, you feel the cushion behind you.
The feeling of Jungkook on top of you is nothing less than heaven. You run your hands up and down his tattooed arm, feeling the way his muscles tense with each touch. His kisses trail down your neck, making you squirm under him.
âFuck...â he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin as he takes off your bra in a swift motion.
He groans softly, his eyes wide as they drink in the sight of you beneath him. Then his gaze falls to your collarbone, lingering on the familiar pendant resting against your skin.
"The... necklace." he notices, his fingers reaching out to brush it gently. His touch is reverent, almost hesitant, as if the small piece of jewelry holds all the words he canât say. He looks up into your eyes, a subtle smile curving his lips.
"You... you never took it off?" he asks, his voice laced with slight disbelief.
"Never." you affirm softly, your voice steady yet tender. His eyes soften, glimmering with emotions too deep for words, and for a moment, it feels as if the necklace is the silent thread that has always held your hearts together.
âIâŠâ his voice trails, and you can tell heâs struggling to find the right words. âI fucking missed you.â he breathes out and without giving you a chance to respond, he leans down and presses his lips to your chest.
You let out a moan as he starts sucking on the skin between your breasts, and your hips squirm beneath him. âKookâŠâ you gasp as his mouth closes around one of your nipples, making you arch your back. He bites down gently, and you can't help but cry out in pleasure.
You can feel his body shaking on top of you, the desperation to get closer to you is so so evident. His hand slides up your leg and rests at your waist before slipping under your back, lifting your hips to meet his. The kiss that follows is sweet and gentle, like heâs trying to apologize for everything thatâs happened between you, even when it's not his fault.
Your hands move to his hair, twisting into the dark strands as you pull him even closer. You canât stop yourself, you canât resist him anymore. The feeling, the warmth, the electricity, itâs too hard to fight. Your body is craving his, and heâs giving you all the affection youâve been craving for these past four dreadful months.
His lips trail down your body, stopping at the spot between your legs as he slides your underwear down your legs. You gasp as you watch him dip his head, the warmth of his tongue circling your clit. Your hands grip the couch, and your body arches in reaction to the pleasure heâs sending through your body.
âFuck.â you gasp, barely able to string the words together as he presses his face between your legs. Jungkook moans, his tongue licking around your clit in firm, steady strokes. Your hands move from the couch to his shoulders, pushing him further between your legs.
He looks up at you, his eyes filled with hunger and desire, his chin wet from your arousal, as he grips your hips and pulls you closer. He buries his tongue as deep as it can go, causing your body to jerk in reaction.
You cry out his name, your voice hoarse as your hands grip his hair. Jungkook feels himself get harder as he flattens his tongue, applying pressure to your clit. âFuck⊠please... please Kook... donât stop.â you beg as he licks you faster, your hips rocking against his face.
Your moans echo through the empty apartment as Jungkook works you closer and closer to release. When he stops sucking your clit and presses his tongue deep inside of you instead, you lose it, your orgasm washing over you in waves.
You canât do anything but lay there and take it, your legs shaking and twitching around his face as your body convulses with pleasure.
He kisses his way up your body, licking the sweat from your skin before he finally reaches your lips. The taste of your arousal on his lips sends heat through you, and you moan as his tongue enters your mouth.
Your tears are back, running down your cheeks as you try to process the moment. Jungkook pulls away from your lips and places his forehead against yours. His thumb softly wipes your tears away, as he tries to process this surreal moment himself.
âFuck...â he whispers as he slowly rubs his length against your core, sending sparks through your body. You feel the warmth of his skin against yours... your bodies pressed together in a way you can't comprehend.
âI... I need you baby....â Jungkook murmurs against your lips, his length rubbing against you. You breathe heavily as you nod, wanting him to just take you right here, right now.
With one swift motion, he pushes himself inside you, filling you completely. Your lips part as you take in the feeling of being stretched out by him.
Jungkook stills for a moment, taking in the feeling of finally being back inside of you. He thought heâd never have you like this again, that heâd lost you forever, but here he is, buried deep inside your warmth. His eyes stare into yours, watching your chest heave up and down as you try to adjust to the feeling you had so deeply missed.
You stare into him, sniffling as your tears refuse to stop flowing. âI love you...â you hear him say as he leans forward again, capturing your wet lips in an urgent kiss.
As the kiss grows intense, he starts moving his hips, thrusting in and out of you in a slow and steady pace. Your hands grip his arms, digging your nails into his skin as you arch your back. Jungkook kisses you harder, his moans filling the air around you.
His movements are filled with need and longing, like heâs afraid this is the last time heâll get to make love to you. He wants to take in every moan, every thrust, every gasp he gets from you.
Youâre lost in the sensation, consumed by the pleasure Jungkook is giving you as his body moves over and into you. He holds you down, his weight pinning you to the couch as he makes love to you in his living room. You feel his hands gripping your hips, holding you in place as he thrusts deeper inside you.
Your legs wrap around his hips, pulling him closer as you gasp for air but his hands grip your legs, moving them up his body as he lifts your ankles to rest on his shoulders. The change of position causes him to slide deeper inside you, and you gasp as he hits a familiar spot inside and all you can see is stars.
âOh god....â you moan as he starts increasing his pace. Your lips part as the sensation washes over you. Jungkook leans down, pressing his lips to yours as he fucks you with reckless abandon. Heâs chasing his own release, but he wants you to come with him.
He thrusts into you over and over again, his hands gripping your waist as he holds himself up. Your hands are on his ass, pushing him closer, begging for more as he groans into your mouth.
Your moans fill the air as you feel your body build towards a second release. Jungkook feels it too, his pace picking up as he drives you over the edge once more. âIâm...I'm coming...â you cry, your nails digging into his skin.
Jungkook groans in response, his thrusts becoming wild and desperate. He fucks you like he canât get enough, like heâll never get to have you again.
You moan into his mouth as your orgasm washes over you once more. Your body convulses under him, and you canât do anything but let it take you over. Jungkook grunts, his body shaking above you as he chases his own release.
âFuck baby...â he groans as he fills you up and collapses on top of you his body shuddering and his hips thrusting into you a few more times, stretching out his orgasm as much as he can. Your arms wrap around him, holding him close as you take in the warmth of his body against yours.
Jungkook presses a tender kiss to your shoulder, the gesture carrying a weight of emotions he canât put into words. The moment feels surreal, almost fragile, as if one wrong move could shatter it.
He never imagined heâd hold you like this again, the warmth of your presence grounding him in a reality he once thought heâd lost forever. To him, this feels like a stolen dream... achingly beautiful, yet tinged with the fear that it might slip away.
He slowly rolls off you, settling beside you against the soft cushions of the couch. His arms wrap around you instinctively, holding you close as his eyes trace the lines of your face.
The exhaustion etched into your features tugs at his heart. His gaze drifts downward, gazing at the necklace around your neck. You didn't take it off and... that must mean something right? As he continues taking in the sight of you, he feels an overwhelming ache rise within him... he had missed you more than words could ever convey.
A thousand questions crowd his mind. He wants to speak, to ask, to understand, to unravel everything that had been left unsaid and find a way back to what you guys once were. But then he notices the way your eyelids flutter, heavy with weariness, and the soft, unsteady rhythm of your breaths as you try to calm yourself.
He swallows the urge to press for answers, deciding that for now, the questions can wait. Morning will come soon enough. Instead, he tightens his hold on you, his heart pounding in his chest as he silently wills himself to remain still. The warmth of your presence soothes him, and he closes his eyes, hoping that sleep will find him in the solace of this stolen moment.
//
Jungkook's eyebrows knit together in his sleep, a slight twitch running through his body as he shifts uncomfortably on the couch. His eyes flutter open, and he instinctively clutches the blanket against his chest. Blinking groggily, he glances around, the familiar sight of his apartment slowly coming into focus.
The realization that heâs on the couch sinks in, and like a tidal wave, the memory of last night crashes into him. His breath hitches, and he jolts upright, his heart pounding in his chest. Panic bubbles beneath the surface as he glances at the empty space behind him.
He looks down at the blanket draped over his body, a puzzled frown forming as he struggles to recall when or how it got there. His eyes dart around the room, searching for any sign of you, but the stillness of his apartment feels unnervingly hollow. The silence presses down on him, heavy and suffocating.
Rising to his feet, Jungkook starts moving through the apartment, his voice shaky as he calls out your name. "Y/N??" he tries again, his tone more urgent this time. But thereâs no answer.
Each step he takes only amplifies the sinking feeling in his chest. He checks the kitchen, the bathroom, his bedroom, even the balcony, but youâre nowhere to be found. His mind spirals, questioning if last night had been a cruel dream... a mirage conjured by his yearning.
Or had you truly been here, only to slip away quietly in the morning? The thought twists his stomach, leaving him nauseous as he leans against the wall, his hands trembling. Did he really lose you all over again?
Jungkook doesnât waste a second. His movements are frantic, hands fumbling as he pulls on his clothes in haste, not even bothering to smooth out the wrinkles. His mind is racing, each thought more urgent than the last. He grabs his keys and bolts out the door, the sound of it slamming shut echoing through the empty hallway.
His heart pounds as he throws himself into the driverâs seat, the familiar hum of the engine roaring to life beneath him. His knuckles whiten as he grips the steering wheel, the tension radiating through his body. His eyes burn with exhaustion, but the ache in his chest far outweighs it.
The city is still waking up, the roads bathed in the soft glow of the morning sun. Jungkook doesnât care. He presses harder on the accelerator, weaving through the sparse traffic with reckless determination. Every red light feels like a lifetime, every delay an unbearable agony.
He can't stop thinking about you. The way your touch felt like home, the way your lips trembled against his last night, and the way your tears spoke of everything you were too afraid to say. He canât let that go. He wonât.
The thought of losing you again, of waking up every morning knowing youâre out there but not by his side, terrifies him. Itâs a kind of pain he doesnât think he can survive twice.
As he nears your neighborhood, his pulse quickens. He doesnât know what heâll say, or how youâll react, but none of it matters. All he knows is that he needs you... more than air, more than anything.
Parking haphazardly in front of your house, he bolts towards your door, his heart hammering as he begins knocking. Thereâs no answer, and his anxiety only grows. He steps off your porch, wondering where you could be.
He rushes outside, reaching the pavement, desperately scanning the neighborhood, hoping to catch a glimpse of you somewhere.
He runs through the neighborhood, his heart pounding, the anxiety gnawing at him as he checks every corner, every familiar path, but you're nowhere to be seen. Yet, something inside him refuses to give up.
As he nears the park at the edge of the neighborhood, he slows down, taking a breath to steady himself. His eyes sweep over the quiet space, and in that moment, itâs as if time slows... until he sees you, sitting alone on a distant bench, your figure outlined against the soft glow of the morning light, looking smaller and more vulnerable than heâs ever seen you.
He wastes no time as he runs towards you, his footsteps growing louder as he approaches you, his figure growing more defined with every step. His heart is racing, not just from the frantic search, but from the sheer desperation to be close to you again, to make sure youâre okay.
You sit still, your eyes widening in disbelief as you realize heâs found you. A rush of emotions flood through you... surprise, guilt, and a wave of regret. You can't help but wonder how he managed to find you here.
You glance down, unable to meet his gaze as the memories of last night resurface. The vulnerability of the moment hits you hard. You had fled his apartment at dawn, unable to face him after everything. The way he had held you, the way everything felt so perfect in the heat of the moment... it scared you.
You knew you had no answers to his questions, no way to explain the reasons behind your past actions. And the truth? That was something you couldnât give him, not now, not when you have so much to lose. The only thing left for you to do was leave him behind and slip away like a coward, hoping he wouldnât follow.
But here he is, standing before you, his presence too much to ignore. You don't know whether to run again or finally face him.
Jungkookâs eyes are full of pain as he steps closer to you, his voice shaking with a mix of frustration and hurt. âYou left.â he breathes out, as if the weight of his words is too much to bear.
âWhy... why did you leave?â His voice cracks at the end, vulnerability spilling through in a way he canât control.
You try to look away, but his gaze pulls you in. The truth, too raw and too close to the surface, is something you canât escape. You can feel the crack in your heart widen with every passing second. "Jungkook... we're broken up." you whisper, barely meeting his eyes.
"No." he denies, the sharpness in his breath betraying the desperation in his chest. "Don't say that, especially after last night." His voice is pleading now, fragile, cracking in a way that shakes him to the core. His fists clench at his sides with the effort to keep himself together.
"How can you say that after everything? After what happened between us? How... can you just walk away like that? How can you pretend like... none of it mattered?"
He takes a step closer, his eyes burning with a need to understand, to hold on to the fragments of what he thought was still there. "The past four months... itâs been hell, Y/n. Iâve been drowning in this silence, wondering every day what went wrong. I never got an answer. You just... left. Without a word, without a valid reason. And I hate it. I hate that I donât know why. I hate that you just cut me off like I meant nothing. Like everything we had... it was all just a lie."
You look at him, the tears unknowingly streaming down your face. "Kook..." you start, but he cuts you off. "I tried to let go... I tried to make peace with it... but... but it hurts, Y/n. It hurts more than I can put into words, and I donât even know what I did wrong." he pauses, trying to calm himself down.
"I donât know what happened between us. Why did... why did you leave me? Why did you make me feel like I was nothing to you?" His voice cracks, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill over. You stare at him, the lump in your throat intensifying. "You... you were everything to me. I thought we had a future together, Y/n. But now, Iâm just... I'm just so lost.... I'm so lost without you."
Jungkook steps back for a moment, his hands running through his hair in frustration as he tries to make sense of it all. His breath is shallow, a quiet sob escaping him as he collects himself. "I need to know..." he mutters, barely audible. "Why? What... what happened? Please, just tell me."
He takes another shaky breath, the weight of his emotions almost unbearable. "Donât tell me... you stopped loving me." he pleads, his voice raw and desperate. "I know thatâs not true. I know you would never be so harsh to me." His words are laced with disbelief, as if heâs clinging to any shred of hope that thereâs something heâs missing, something he can grasp, something that makes sense.
âI can feel it, Y/n.â he continues softly, eyes never leaving yours, searching your face as if it holds the answers. âI know you love me. You canât just... stop. Not after everything we went through. Not after what we had.â He steps closer again, his heart aching at the thought of losing you. âSo donât tell me thatâs it. Donât tell me you just decided it was over.â
"I never stopped loving you." you whisper, your voice barely audible as hot tears continue to roll down your cheeks. The weight of your words feels like an anchor in your chest, heavy and suffocating. You feel weak, defeated... like thereâs no hope left.
The sight of him standing there, shivering in pain, breaks you in ways you didnât think were possible. His pain, the hurt youâve caused, fills you with an overwhelming sense of guilt.
Your heart aches as you watch the way his eyes fill with confusion and desperation, his hands trembling as he reaches out to you, as if just a touch could make everything okay. But you know, deep down, that nothing can probably fix this.
"I'm sorry." you whisper, barely able to get the words out. "I'm so sorry, Jungkook. I never wanted to hurt you." The tears flow freely now, staining your cheeks as you try to find the strength to speak, to explain, but the words feel stuck, trapped inside you.
As you break down, Jungkook takes a seat beside you as he hesitantly wraps his arms around you, pulling you close. You bury your face in his chest, the tears coming in waves, uncontrollable, as the weight of everything you've been holding in comes rushing to the surface.
His hands gently stroke your back, soothing you in a way that makes everything feel just a little more bearable. Every sob that wracks your body seems to break his heart a little more, but he doesnât pull away. Instead, he tightens his grip on you, as if reminding both of you that, for now, youâre not alone.
Jungkook feels his own tears begin to spill as he pulls you even closer, his heart breaking at the sight of your pain. His fingers tremble as they weave through your hair, trying to hold you as tightly as possible, as if he could absorb some of your sorrow.
The weight of the silence between you both is suffocating, but his mind races, desperately trying to understand why youâre in so much pain, why you had to leave him, why you feel so broken.
"Y/n..." His voice cracks, raw with emotion as he speaks your name. His chest tightens with the fear that maybe heâs never truly known the full story, that maybe everything he thought he understood was just an illusion.
His tears fall freely now, as he presses his forehead against yours, his breath shaky. "Please, just tell me. What happened?" His words are barely above a whisper, but they hold a desperate plea. "Why are you like this? What... what am I missing?"
His hands move to gently cup your face, his thumb brushing away the tears that continue to fall. Heâs not sure if heâs crying for the both of you or if heâs just so lost in your pain that it feels like itâs his own. "I canât lose you again, Y/n. I need to know... why we are the way we are right now. Please, just tell me. I canât fix it if I donât understand."
His grip on you tightens, the urgency in his voice rising as he gazes into your eyes, searching for some kind of answer, anything that will explain the devastation heâs feeling. His love for you is still so strong, so unyielding, but the fear of losing you completely is almost too much to bear.
Just as you're about to speak, your phone starts ringing, its shrill tone cutting through the heavy silence. You hesitate for a moment, unsure whether to pick it up, especially given the fragile state you're in right now. But the phone keeps ringing, insistent, and you feel a knot tighten in your stomach.
With a sniffle, you pull away from Jungkook, trying to compose yourself as you reach for your phone. "Just a minute..." you whisper, wiping away the last of your tears as you glance at the caller ID.
It's the hospital. Your heart skips a beat at the sight, and before you can think twice, you answer, trying to steady your voice. "Hello?"
"Am I speaking to Ms. Choi?" the voice on the other end asks. Your breath catches in your throat, and without a second thought, you stand up, your heart rate increasing with every passing second. "Yes, this is she." you reply, trying to keep your composure, but the panic is starting to rise in your chest.
Jungkook watches you intently, noticing the change in your expression as you stand up. His concern deepens as he observes the tension in your body. Who could be calling you at this hour? You grip the phone tighter as the voice on the other end continues speaking, but then you gasp, your breath coming in quick, shallow bursts.
He watches in horror as you suddenly collapse, your knees buckling beneath you. It's like all the strength has left your body. His instincts kick in immediately, and he's by your side in an instant, crouching down and reaching out for you.
His hands land gently on your shoulders as he pulls you towards him, trying to steady you. The phone slips from your grasp, clattering to the ground, but you donât seem to notice. Your eyes are wide, unblinking, and you stare ahead, lost in whatever news you've just received.
"Y/n... what happened? Are you okay?" Jungkook's voice is laced with worry, his hand moving to your cheek to check for any sign of awareness. You blink a few times, as if snapping back into reality, but itâs still hard to focus. Your lips tremble as you finally meet his eyes, and you whisper his name. "Jungkook..."
His heart races as he holds you tighter, desperate for you to continue. He nods, prompting you to keep talking. "Jungkook... Beomgyu... he... he woke up." you say.
"What...?" Jungkook asks, his voice laced with disbelief. His wide eyes search your face for confirmation, and when he sees the glimmer of truth in your tear-streaked expression, his features soften into a smile. "Y/n... that's... that's great news. That's... amazing news, baby." His voice wavers, a mix of relief and joy, and his smile grows wider.
You nod quickly, the reality of it hitting you all over again as fresh tears stream down your cheeks. "He's awake, Jungkook... he's really awake." you whisper, your voice trembling with a mixture of happiness and overwhelming emotion.
You pause, glancing around as you try to calm yourself down. "I need to go see him. I... I need to get to the... the hospital." you say hurriedly, the urgency in your tone impossible to miss.
Jungkook catches your arm gently but firmly, grounding you for a moment. "Hey, hey." he says softly, looking into your eyes with a steady calmness. "I'll take you there, yeah? My carâs parked right outside your house, so letâs go. Come on." he softly says as he helps you up.
//
You barge through the hospital doors, your steps quick and frantic, your heart racing as you navigate through the lobby. Jungkook follows close behind, his presence a comforting weight amidst the chaos swirling in your mind.
You reach the elevator and jab the button repeatedly, as though it might make the lift arrive faster. The ride up feels like an eternity, and yet, when the doors slide open, you're already bolting down the hallway towards Beomgyu's room.
Finally, you stand outside the door, your hand frozen on the handle. You take a shaky breath, trying to collect yourself, your chest rising and falling with the weight of four long years of waiting. Four years of imagining this moment, of rehearsing what youâd say, how youâd feel... but now, standing here, all those thoughts dissolve into a haze of indescribable emotion.
Jungkook steps beside you, his voice soft and steady as he whispers. "He's waiting for you, baby." His words calm you, giving you the courage you need to face whatâs on the other side of the door. You glance at him, his warm eyes filled with reassurance, and you nod, summoning the strength to push forward. With trembling hands, you carefully push the door open and step inside.
There he is. Beomgyu. Sitting up in bed, his back resting against the headboard, alive and awake. The sight is almost surreal, a moment that feels too precious to be real.
He looks at you with a lopsided grin, his expression as cheeky and familiar as ever. "Long time no see, Your Highness." he quips, his tone lighthearted and playful, as if the last four years hadn't just been wiped away by a miracle.
Your breath catches, a soft laugh escaping you as tears well up in your eyes again. "Beomgyu..." you whisper, your voice breaking. The weight of the years, the pain, the hope... all of it rushes to the surface as you step closer, overwhelmed by the reality of seeing him awake.
You rush to his side, tears streaming freely down your cheeks as you throw your arms around him in a tight embrace. The warmth of his body against yours is enough to break down every last wall you'd built over the years.
You remember all the times you'd playfully swatted him away, rolled your eyes, or made a face every time he tried to hug you because back then, you liked to act like showing affection to your sibling was embarrassing.
But right now, thereâs no hesitation, no second thought. Right now, youâve never felt more alive.
âI missed you.â you sob, your voice muffled against his shoulder as you clutch him like youâre afraid he might slip away again. The tears come harder as the realization sinks in that this moment is real. Heâs real. The long, agonizing wait is finally over.
Beomgyu chuckles softly, his voice steady yet laced with emotion. "Wow, I must really be a sight for sore eyes if youâre this clingy." he teases, though his arms wrap tightly around you, holding you just as fiercely. His familiar, playful tone only makes you cry harder.
"You idiot." you choke out, your voice trembling as you pull back just enough to look at him. Your hands cup his face, your thumbs brushing away the tears that now spill from his eyes too. "Donât you dare scare me like that ever again. Do you hear me? Never again."
His grin softens, and he nods, his own tears mirroring yours. "I promise." he whispers, his voice quieter, more solemn now. "Never again."
Jungkook lingers near the doorway, a soft smile playing on his lips as he watches the reunion unfold. The raw emotion in your embrace, the way you cling to Beomgyu like he might vanish if you let go... it stirs something deep within him.
He knows how long you've waited for this moment, how often you spoke of it with a mixture of hope and pain. Seeing you finally experience it makes his heart swell with happiness for you.
But then, Jungkook freezes as Beomgyu's gaze shifts towards him. His eyes widen slightly, realizing that this is the first time Beomgyu is seeing him.
âWhoâs... that?â Beomgyu asks, his voice curious but steady. His brows furrow slightly as he nods towards Jungkook. You turn to follow Beomgyuâs gaze, and when your eyes meet Jungkookâs, you canât help but smile.
âThatâs Jungkook.â you say softly, glancing back at your brother before looking at Jungkook again. Thereâs something tender in the way you say his name, something that makes Jungkookâs smile widen as he nods politely at Beomgyu.
Before anything else can be said, the doctor appears and Jungkook steps aside letting him in. âMs. Choi.â the doctor greets with a warm smile. âCongratulations. Itâs wonderful to see Beomgyu awake and responsive. However, weâll need to run a few tests now, just to check his overall condition.â
You nod understandingly, brushing a stray tear from your cheek as you stand. âOf course... thank you, doctor.â you say, turning back to Beomgyu. You lean down to place a soft kiss on his forehead, your smile filled with a quiet reassurance. âIâll be right outside, okay?â
Beomgyu nods, his grin still cheeky. âDonât disappear. I need you to explain who that guy is and why he was looking at you with literal heart eyes.â he teases, his playful tone making you chuckle as you shake your head.
You glance at Jungkook, whoâs scratching the back of his neck, looking a little flustered. âBehave.â you tell Beomgyu with a laugh before stepping outside with Jungkook, leaving your brother in the capable hands of the doctor.
As you settle into the metal chair right outside Beomgyu's room, beside Jungkook, the cold steel pressing against your back is a stark contrast to the warmth of his hand as it gently rests on your knee. His fingers squeeze lightly, offering some silent comfort.
You glance down at the way his hand fits so naturally on you and let out a small, tired smile. Placing your hand over his, your thumb begins to trace slow circles over his knuckles, grounding yourself in the quiet rhythm of the motion.
Your voice breaks the silence, soft but weighted. "Junghyun... he came to see me."
Jungkookâs brows knit together in confusion. âJunghyun? My brother?â he repeats, his tone disbelieving as he tries to process your words. You nod, your gaze shifting to the sterile white tiles of the hospital floor.
âFour months ago... he came to the kindergarten.â you admit, your voice faltering slightly. You exhale deeply, trying to steady yourself before diving into the painful memory.
The words spill out in fragments, raw and hesitant, as you recount the confrontation with Junghyun. You describe the way he appeared out of nowhere, his presence overbearing, his threats sharp and deliberate. You tell Jungkook how he used your brother's condition against you, twisting it into a weapon, leaving you cornered and helpless.
By the time you finish, the tension in Jungkookâs body is palpable. His jaw is clenched tight, and his fists curl against his knees. His breath is sharp as he mutters through gritted teeth, âThat motherfuckerâŠâ
His reaction makes your chest tighten, a mixture of relief and guilt washing over you. Heâs angry... angrier than youâve ever seen him but you know itâs not directed at you. Itâs the thought of his brotherâs cruel manipulation, the pain you endured in silence, that has his blood boiling.
"I'll be right back." Jungkook says firmly, already standing up and walking away with purpose. Panic rises in your chest as you quickly catch up to him, already guessing where heâs headed. "Jungkook, no... wait, stop." you plead, reaching out to grab his arm.
He stops abruptly, turning to face you and holding your shoulders gently but firmly. His dark eyes lock onto yours, filled with resolve. "Y/n, just trust me." he says, his voice steady yet reassuring. "He wonât be able to do anything. Iâll make sure... Iâll make sure you and Beomgyu are safe. I promise."
You open your mouth to protest, but he shakes his head, cutting you off before the words can escape. "I need to put him in his place." he breathes out, his jaw tightening. "He needs to know he canât talk to you like that. He needs to understand what you mean to me." His voice softens slightly, the tenderness in his gaze making your heart ache.
"Just stay here with Beomgyu." he continues, his tone resolute. "Iâll be back soon. I promise."
Before you can stop him, he steps closer, pressing a tender kiss on your forehead, his touch lingering like a silent vow. Then, without another word, he turns on his heels and strides down the hallway, his determination unwavering. You stand frozen, watching him disappear, the sound of his footsteps echoing in the quiet of the hospital.
//
Jungkook barges into his brother's home office, the door slamming against the wall with a loud bang. Junghyun glances up from his computer, a bemused expression on his face. "Oh, Jungkook? Didnât expect you to visit on a Sunday. What brings youâ"
His sentence is cut off abruptly as Jungkook strides over, grabbing his collar and yanking him to his feet. Before Junghyun can even process whatâs happening, a powerful punch lands squarely on his cheek. He stumbles back, clutching his face in shock, but Jungkook doesnât let him regain his footing.
With a growl of anger, Jungkook throws another punch, the impact snapping Junghyunâs head to the side. The metallic tang of blood fills the air as a crimson streak trickles from Junghyun's split lip.
"Jungkook!" Junghyun finally manages to shout, his voice laced with both pain and disbelief. "What the fuck are you doing?"
Jungkook doesnât respond immediately, his chest heaving as he towers over his brother. His fists clench and unclench, the anger rolling off him in waves. "Thatâs for threatening Y/n." he snarls, his voice dangerously low. "You think you can mess with her? Intimidate her like that? Not while Iâm here."
Junghyun glares at him, wiping the blood from his lip, his shock slowly giving way to a cold smirk. "So, this is about her?" he mutters, his tone mocking despite his obvious discomfort. "Youâre letting your emotions cloud your judgment, Jungkook. How pathetic."
But Jungkook doesnât flinch. Instead, he grabs Junghyun by the collar again, pulling him close. "Listen to me." he says through gritted teeth. "Stay away from her. If you ever even think about going near her or Beomgyu again, I swear, youâll regret it."
Jungkook lets go of Junghyun with a forceful shove, sending him sprawling back into his chair. "All this for a girl like her? Really Jungkook?" Junghyun scoffs, his tongue poking the inside of cheek. "You have no idea what she means to me." Jungkook says lowly, glaring at his brother.
Jungkookâs jaw tightens, his fists still clenched at his sides. His voice drops to a low, dangerous tone. "You have no idea what she means to me." he says, his glare unwavering. "And you never will."
Junghyun chuckles bitterly, his face twisted in disdain, but before he can retort, Jungkook steps closer, his presence commanding. "Do you think Dadâs going to be proud when he hears what youâve been up to?" Jungkook asks, his words sharp and deliberate.
Junghyunâs smirk falters ever so slightly. "You think heâll be okay with you going around threatening people? Manipulating them? Using fear to get your way?" Jungkook continues, his voice rising slightly. "Youâre the pathetic one, hyung."
He pauses, letting his words sink in, then laughs... a dry, humorless sound. "And you know whatâs really pathetic? That you thought I wouldnât find out. That you thought Iâd just let it slide."
Junghyunâs jaw tightens, his eyes narrowing, but he stays silent, his confidence clearly shaken. Jungkook steps back, his glare never leaving his brother. "This is your last warning. Stay away from her. Stay away from Beomgyu. Because if you donât..." He leans in slightly, his voice dropping to a menacing whisper. "You wonât just have Dad to deal with. Youâll have me."
Without waiting for a response, Jungkook straightens up and strides out of the office, slamming the door behind him, leaving Junghyun to stew in his own discomfort and rising dread.
//
As you help Beomgyu inside your house, he pauses for a moment, letting his eyes wander around the familiar space. His gaze lands on the corner of the room, behind the couch, and a smirk tugs at his lips. "You still haven't gotten rid of that weird vase?" he teases, pointing at the decorative piece.
You roll your eyes, shutting the door behind you. "That's never gonna happen." you reply with a shrug, playfully glaring at him.
He shakes his head in mock disapproval before taking a seat on the couch. The cold fabric causes him to shiver slightly, but he leans back, closing his eyes. "Well... it's good to be back." he murmurs, exhaling deeply.
You stand there for a moment, watching him. Your heart feels so full it could burst. It almost seems unreal... having him here, in your home, after all this time. "Let me cook you some jjajangmyeon." you suggest, breaking the silence.
His eyes snap open, a grin spreading across his face. "Oh my god, how did you know I was craving exactly that?" he asks, his tone amused. "It's a sibling thing." you reply with a wink, heading into the kitchen.
As you start preparing the ingredients, your thoughts inevitably drift to Jungkook, especially since you haven't heard from him ever since he left you at the hospital. You canât help but wonder how heâs handling the situation with Junghyun. The thought of it makes your stomach churn slightly, but you push the anxiety aside.
"So, whereâs your little boyfriend?" Beomgyu's voice interrupts your thoughts, his teasing tone carrying from the living room. A shy smile tugs at your lips, but you donât respond immediately. "Come on..." he continues, his footsteps drawing closer until heâs leaning casually against the kitchen counter.
"I was in a damn coma for four years, and my bitchless sister finally manages to pull someone, and I donât even get a proper introduction?"
You snort at his choice of words. "Oh, come on, Gyu." you reply, turning to face him with a mock exasperated look. "Iâll introduce you when the timeâs... right." He sighs, clearly unimpressed with your answer. "The timeâs right when I say it is." he quips, but his grin betrays the affection behind the teasing.
Beomgyu arches a brow at the sudden sound of the doorbell, his smirk widening with curiosity. "Is that who I think it is?" he quips, leaning back against the counter with an air of playful arrogance.
You glance at him, wide-eyed and suddenly flustered. You smile at him briefly before you quickly make your way to the door, your heart thudding in anticipation. The moment you open it, time seems to still. There stands Jungkook, bathed in the soft glow of the porch light, his presence radiating comfort and confidence. His smile is subtle yet powerful, a silent reassurance that everything is under control.
You step outside, quietly closing the door behind you, shielding the moment from your brother's prying gaze. You fidget with your fingers as words evade you. "So...?" you finally manage, your voice trailing off.
Jungkook doesnât answer immediately. Instead, he steps forward, closing the space between you. His arms encircle you in a gentle, protective embrace, his warmth instantly melting away your apprehensions. "I punched him." he says at last, his voice tinged with triumph.
Your eyes widen in surprise, and you pull back just enough to search his face. "What?" you ask, your voice rising an octave in disbelief.
"I punched him." he repeats, a satisfied grin tugging at his lips. "Right in the face. You shouldâve seen him... completely caught off guard. Like...there's no way he actually had the nerve to mess with my girl."
A mix of shock and amusement washes over you as you lightly smack his chest. "Jungkook! Thatâs not something to be proud of." you admonish, though the corners of your mouth twitch with an unwilling smile. "Violence isnât the answer."
His smirk deepens as he tilts his head, his dark eyes twinkling with mischief. "Oh, but in his case, it is."
You shake your head, exhaling a laugh despite yourself. "What am I gonna do with you?" you murmur, your tone caught between exasperation and fondness.
Jungkookâs expression softens, the teasing glimmer in his eyes replaced by an intensity that makes your breath hitch. "Y/N..." he begins, his voice low and steady. "You donât have to worry anymore. Iâll take care of everything... you, Beomgyu. Youâll both be safe. I promise."
His words hit you hard, the depth of his sincerity leaving you momentarily speechless. He steps even closer, his hands gently cupping your face as his thumbs brush against your cheeks. "I promise you, no one will ever hurt you again. Not while Iâm here." he vows, his tone resolute, his gaze locking onto yours.
You nod, your chest swelling with a sense of safety you hadnât realized you were yearning for. "Just promise me..." he continues, his voice softening. "if anything ever happens again, youâll tell me. Right away. No hiding, no secrets."
A lump forms in your throat as you nod again, unable to find the words to express the gratitude and trust coursing through you. Jungkook smiles faintly, the tension easing from his features, and he pulls you into another embrace. His arms wrap around you like a fortress, his chin resting lightly atop your head.
"I missed you." you whisper, your voice muffled against his chest.
"I missed you too." he murmurs, his voice filled with emotion as he tightens his hold on you. "More than you know."
After a few long moments, you pull back, your eyes meeting his as the world seems to shrink down to just the two of you. His gaze flickers to your lips, and before you can even register it, he leans in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your lips.
The kiss is tender yet fervent, each movement brimming with unspoken emotions. You feel his love, his promise, and his unwavering devotion in the way his lips meld with yours, leaving no room for doubt that this is where you belong. The porch, the cool evening air, the distant sounds of the world... all of it fades into oblivion as you lose yourself in him.
It's as if a colossal weight has finally been lifted from your shoulders, allowing you to breathe freely for the first time in what feels like forever. In this fleeting, surreal moment, the world fades away, leaving only the steady rhythm of your heart and the warmth surrounding you.
Everything about this feels inexplicably right , the way he kisses you, the way his arms embrace you, the way his presence steadies your storm. You feel complete, as though the jagged pieces of your soul have found their perfect fit. You feel whole again.
"Umm, sooo sorry to interrupt the lovebirds." Beomgyuâs voice drawls out, cutting through the tender moment. You and Jungkook both pull apart and turn your heads sharply, only to see him mischievously peeking out of the window right beside the front door. âBut, Y/n, your brother, who just got out of a coma, is really, really hungry and would love for you to finish cooking the jjajangmyeon you promised him.â
You roll your eyes, a flush creeping up your cheeks as Jungkook stifles a laugh. "And, of course..." Beomgyu continues, his grin widening. âHeâd absolutely love to finally meet your boyfriend.â He emphasizes the last word, wagging his eyebrows dramatically at Jungkook, who chuckles deeply at your brother's antics.
You groan, covering your face in Jungkookâs chest as he wraps an arm protectively around you, his shoulders shaking with laughter. âGyu, youâre unbelievable.â you mumble, your voice muffled.
Beomgyu shrugs nonchalantly. âHey, priorities, okay? Food first, making out later.â he teases, shooting a mock salute before disappearing back into the house after shutting the window down.
Jungkook looks down at you, his smile soft and amused. âI like him.â he says with a chuckle. You pull back slightly, playfully glaring at him. âDonât encourage him.â you warn, though the smile tugging at your lips betrays your amusement.
âCome on.â Jungkook says, planting a quick kiss on your forehead. âLetâs go⊠we can't have your brother starving.â he says.
You laugh, grabbing his hand as the two of you step back inside. The warmth of your house envelops you, and for the first time in forever, you feel okay.
Beomgyuâs playful voice fills the air as he grins from the couch, the sibling bond you thought youâd lost now brighter than ever. Jungkook squeezes your hand, his steady presence a reminder that the hardest days are now way behind you.
In the kitchen, surrounded by laughter and the aroma of cooking, you glance at Jungkook. His soft smile says everything words canât, filling your heart with a quiet peace.
For the first time in months, youâre not just surviving... youâre actually living. With Beomgyu back where he belongs and Jungkook by your side, your heart feels complete, wrapped in the comforting truth that this... this is what home is meant to feel like.
âfin. ⥠â§âË â
ౚৠâ§â .á
my masterlist <3
#jungkook fic#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook#bts#bts jungkook#bts fic#enemies to lovers#jungkook fanfiction#exes to lovers
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Commission for @lavender-constellation
A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for commissioning, means a whole lot <3 This is a part 2 of this post, and we have this other post as a continuation. This piece is a longer version of the second one with two sex-scenes. Hope yâall like it!
Request: Iâd love a part two to the monster kissing booth story, upgrading to a sex booth (but like not officially if that makes sense? Like itâs still a kissing booth but in the middle of the market, fem!reader just canât take it anymore and it becomes a sex booth) with maybe a little bit of emphasis on a tentacle monster and orc coming to the booth đ Just no vampires pls!
Naughty booth
Orc x fem!reader + Tentacle monster x fem!reader || tentacle sex, size difference, oral sex, cum play (lowkey), free use, double penetration, squirting
You are coming down from an orgasm when someone screams: âDude, come on! Thereâs more of us waiting!â You giggle, the werewolf (who woks two booths down, at the art booth) between your legs sighs as he grabs some tissues to help clean you the best he can so the next monster can have his turn with your soft human flesh.
âDonât be impatient, youâll want your sweet time when you get there,â someone else retorts. The line is so long you canât really see how many monsters are still waiting.
You are way too fucked out already. Your pussy feels stretched even though thereâs only been like three monsters so far. You are in heaven, everything feels great. A succubus gave you some of her special magic, and made sure you were extra sensitive and you could fit every size of monster. You will have to find her later and thank her. Maybe even ask her on a date⊠But thatâs something for later.
âLeave it, come on! I donât care about your jizz, Iâll use it as lube,â a rough voice says behind you.
The werewolf leans down and pecks your lips, promising to come later with some food. You smile softly at him, and see him go as you wait on the table he set you onto. He fucked you so good you still canât feel your legs. But the next patron doesnât care about it.
A big orc with a grumpy face appears over you, his erection already out and making your mouth water. âCan you take an orc, little human?â Heâs so big⊠You pray to the goddess that heâd fit inside of you, but the succubus said every size of monster would fit, and you believe her. You really should thank her later.
âYe- yes. I can,â you tell him. You canât move much, too tired to participate much, but eager to get fucked all over again.
You can still feel some of the werewolf cum dripping out of your pussy, but when the orcâs fingers tease your entrance, you groan all over again. He pushes some of the cum back inside, scissoring his fingers to make sure you are prepped enough for him. He sits down on a chair and grabs your body, manhandling you until you are on his lap, your body little in comparison to his big physique.
âProve it,â he tells you holding your body with one hand and his dick with the other. You try to fit him inside, but you canât get the correct angle. âCome here,â he says. He moves you until your pussy is right over his dick, and you start to descend. He doesnât wait, though. He puts his big hands against your hips and lowers you completely, making you arch your back and cry out as you hear cheering behind you.
The fact that everyone is looking and enjoying themselves with the spectacle only adds a new layer of heat to your growing arousal. You canât believe you are still horny after all the orgasms you had, but the movement of the orc inside of you is driving you to the sky once again. He fucks you like a fleshlight, moving your body up and down like a toy and making you groan and moan in a symphony of depravity.
âCome on, little human, your pussy is perfection, let me feel you flutter around my big dick.â His words should be cringy, but at that moment, you can just groan as he keeps using your body and you get closer and closer to the edge. With precision that shouldnât be legal, he moves your hips until his dick is rubbing against your perfect spot, making you come apart instantly. âThatâs it, good goddess, I love your pussy.â
He keeps going, fucking you restlessly as your body gives up and your skin gets tingly. He pinches your nipple as he comes, the combination of the amount of cum heâs shooting inside of you and the pain-pleasure sending you into another orgasm that has your eyesight blacking out for a few seconds.
You come back to a tongue between your legs and your thighs pressing the sides of the orcâs head. Heâs kneeling between your legs, at some point he manhandled you into a sitting position in the chair. He hums happily against your clit. You think you canât take anymore, but the thing the succubus gave you is potent, so a new wave of heat fills your insides as you sigh happily as the orc cleans you out with his tongue. He makes you come around his fingers and tongue one more time before the next in line starts complaining.
âDude you made her come three times already, let some other people enjoy!â You chuckle, but itâs lost in a loud groan as the orc sucks on your clit, his tusks framing your pussy in the most amazing way.
âThey canât stop complaining, little human, I guess is time for me to go. I hope this is not a one time thing⊠I had fun with your pretty pussy.â He kisses said pussy one more time before saluting you with his hand and walking away, fastening his pants as he goes.
Anticipation fills your insides when the next patron appears. You see his tentacles before you see him. Fuck, you never had tentacle sex.
âLook at that, the sex-princess is all fucked outâŠâ The tentacles around him are moving like crazy and you have to hold your breath as one slowly approaches your body. The first contact is cold and a bit slimy, but in a good way. It feels like cooling-lube over your body, and itâs so good you groan. âYes, like that⊠You love a good tentacle, donât you, sex-princess?â You want to answer him, but he waits no longer to latch two suckers to your nipples, making you scream as the next in line laughs.
âDonât tease her too much, I want her to still be there when my turn comes around,â she says. You canât see which kind of monster she is, but you silently agree with her. Thereâs still a lot of monsters that want to try your soft human flesh.
âOkay⊠Okay.â The tentacle monsterâs voice is reluctant, but he moves his tentacles around your body, positioning you spread over the table again.
You lay there, looking at the ceiling as you feel more tentacles join the fun. The two on your nipples start sucking harder, enticing more groans out of your mouth. Another tentacle finds your pussy and goes in without preamble. You cry out again and the crowd cheers. You think heâs going to fuck you like everyone else did, but instead, he latches another sucker inside of you, right over your G-spot. You scream at the feeling. Too good, too much.
You feel tears rolling down your cheeks as he adds another sucker to your clit, making you see stars. The combination of sensations is so good you feel something inside of you building. Something unknown, like you are going to break if he keeps going like that. When you think you canât take anymore, he adds another tentacle to your pussy, stretching you impossibly wide as he starts fucking you with the second one.
The combination of suckers and fucking is too much and you feel something explode inside of you, a gush of liquid leaving your body and making him gasp in surprise.
âDid she just squirt?â Some monster asks, amazement filling their voice.
âYes, she did.â The tentacle monster looks so smug you feel a bit embarrassed, but too fucked to complain. He keeps going, making you come two more times around his tentacles. âGood job, sex-princess, you did great.â He tells you before disappearing.
The next monster is already waiting, strap on and a big smile on her face.
Itâs going to be a long day⊠and you are going to enjoy every single second of it.
#tentacles#tentacle-monster#tentacle monster x human#tentacle monster x reader#orc#orc x reader#orc x human#monster#monster fucker#monster imagine#monster x human#teratophillia#monster x reader#terato#monster boyfriend#monster x you#monster love#monster fuqqer#monster kink#monster lover#monster romance#monster smut#monsterfucker#monsterfucking nsft#commission
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not according to plan | hjs
summary: your ex-fiance is getting married and everyone you know is going to be there. when he calls to ask if you're coming, you accidentally mention a boyfriend. which would be fine, if you weren't very single. thankfully your best friend comes through with the perfect solution when he sets you up with a friend of his. what could possibly go wrong?
pairing: joshua x f.reader genre: fake dating, strangers to friends to ?? | fluff, slight angst, smut rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: ~22.1k notes/warnings: johnny suh as the ex-fiancee (sorry, he's not great in this), other idols born in '95 used as background characters, mentions of past cheating, food & alcohol, lots of "dates", reader is referenced as coming from a rich family, mention of being an escort (minus the sex?) smut warnings: making out, multiple smut scenes (kind of, it could be a continuation), multiple orgasms, teasing, they're both v obsessed with each other's bodies, protected sex, fingering, nipple play, oral sex (f. receiving), scratching/marking, squirting, overstimulation, use of lube, i think that's it (but let me know if it's not)
author's note: this fic is dedicated to the lovely @shuadotcom, i'm so sorry it took me literal months to finish fake dating!joshua but here we are anyway. i'm not sure how this one got so away from me either lmao. banner credit to the beautiful @wongyuseokie who (again) did this very last minute. thank you to @wonwussy & @kwanisms for the mid-fic beta. thank you to @wooahaeproductions, @horanghater, @cheolism, & @hannieween for listening to me talk about this and helping with things like petnames & dates.
taglist at the end (& join my permanent taglist here)
âItâs fine, itâs been years and Iâm over it. Plus, Iâve been seeing someone anyway and heâs great. So I wasnât ignoring your invite,â you say without a second thought.Â
Itâs just a stream of consciousness. The lie comes flying out of your mouth faster than your brain can process it. Thatâs exactly what it is, too. A lie. Youâre not seeing anyone and havenât been in a serious relationship since the person on the other end of the call broke your heart.Â
âOh, wow, sorry, I didnât mean toâŠwell, I didnât know. My mom didnât say anything when she said she had spoken to your mom about whether or not you were coming to the wedding,â Johnny says with a little bit of ramble.Â
âYou know how my mom can be, I havenât had the chance to tell her yet,â you deflect.Â
âIâm happy for you, then,â Johnny says.Â
âThanks, Iâm happy for you, too,â you force out. Somehow, it doesnât sound like the lie you know that it is.
âSo, itâs not weird, then? I mean our moms are best friends, so the rest of your family is all going to be there. A lot of your friends will be there. I know you havenât RSVPâd yet, butâŠâ Johnny starts.
âNope! Not weird at all,â you utter, hoping that your voice sounds even. âItâd be weirder if I wasnât there, right?âÂ
âProbably, yeah,â Johnny says. âThatâs great, though. Do you want me to mark you down as a yes? I can even add a plus-one, if you want to bring your partner.âÂ
âThatâs so thoughtful, but I wouldnât want to put you out. I know how expensive weddings can be,â you say and try to sound sincere.
âNo, itâs no issue, actually. We have a few extra seats that we left just in case we forgot someone or didnât know about someoneâs partner,â Johnny presses. âSo weâll see you both there?â
âYeah, you will,â you hurry out. This conversation needs to be over.Â
Itâs only an hour after hanging up with your ex-fiancee that your mom calls to tell you she canât believe she had to hear it from Mrs. Suh that youâre dating someone. Which includes a whole lot of deflecting and promises about when she can meet this mystery man. Another twenty minutes after you hang up with your mom, you get a pointed text from your younger sister. The two of you havenât ever been all that close, so she shouldnât be surprised that you havenât mentioned him. She made her side pretty clear when she maintained her friendship with Johnnyâs new fiancĂ©e. That new fiancee, a close friend of your sisters, also just so happened to be the girl he cheated on you with. So, she can hardly expect to have a close sister bond. Yet, she seems oddly suspicious that she didnât know you were seeing someone seriously.Â
Your quiet Saturday afternoon turns into a full blown headache all thanks to one call from the asshole that you really thought you left in the past. Of course, now is the perfect time for him to pop back up. Now, when youâre even between any sort of casual sex. Now, when you donât even have someone that you can call up to pretend to date you. This is going to be one of the worst calls that you have to make when you have to admit you made it all up, that you will absolutely not be showing your face at the wedding, and you will also be changing your name before moving away.
For now, you do the only thing that you can think of doing. You call the only person that can give you any perspective on this whole fucking disaster.Â
âWell hello,â your best friend answers.Â
âJeonghan, I fucked up,â you say without preamble.Â
âThis is gonna be good,â he responds.Â
âI just got off the phone with my mom,â you begin.
âWhat did she want?â he asks, knowing that it wonât be anything good.
âWell, you know, to talk about this new boyfriend of mine,â you continue.
âYou havenât dated anyone in forever,â Jeonghan chuckles.Â
âThank you for that,â you snark. âAnd then, of course, I get a text from my perfect sister wondering why sheâs also just hearing about this boyfriend of mine.âÂ
âWhy do your sister and your mom think youâre dating someone?â Jeonghan asks.
âOh, well, you know. Johnny called today,â you offer.
âFuck that guy,â Jeonghan interjects.
âHe wanted to know why I hadnât responded to his wedding invite and assumed it was awkward because I was single, so I told him I was seeing someone,â you finally finish.
âFor fuckâs sake,â Jeonghan says into the silence and you can imagine his face.
âRight? My life is a fucking mess and now Johnny thinks that Iâm bringing my boyfriend,â you groan.
âIâll start planning the story for why you suddenly left town,â Jeonghan says.Â
âFor real, my life is over,â you whine.
âWhat are you gonna do?â Jeonghan asks softly.Â
This is really why you called him. Jeonghan is a shithead, sometimes, and he can be a bit of a chaos demon. He also can be a bit of a schemer, especially when it comes to winning a game. But, heâs unfailingly kind and caring to the people he holds dear. He absolutely hates getting into any kind of real conflict with his friends. Thereâs that whole side to him that honestly wouldnât hurt a fly and always has a way to comfort. Thatâs the side that you get now.Â
âI donât know,â you answer, voice just as quiet. âIâm justâŠI donât want to let him win, you know?â
And Jeonghan does know. Youâve been friends since before you started dating Johnny. Even though he never liked him, Jeonghan supported you in your relationship. When Johnny proposed, he called your other friends and set up the best engagement party anyone could ask for. From the outside, nobody would ever know that he hated your partner. Honestly, heâs the best friend anyone in the world could ask for.Â
Before he got around to setting up the bridal shower, which heâd been quietly planning for months, your whole world turned upside down. Johnny cheated, had been cheating awhile, actually, and Jeonghan was there to pick up the pieces. Somehow, he was the only one that seemed to make it better, probably because he didnât want to act like things were okay when they werenât. It was easy to cry in front of him, easy to be vulnerable, easy to just let the process play out so you could heal. Even though he never liked Johnny, he also didnât say he told you so. This had never been something that crossed his mind.Â
âOkay, youâre gonna hate it, but I have an idea,â Jeonghan says.
âThose are never comforting words coming from you,â slips out of your mouth.
âUsually Iâd yell at you, butâŠâ he trails off.Â
âI swear, if youâre about to say that we pretend to be dating like some romcom, I will hang up the phone,â you warn.
âFirst of all, thatâs rude, Iâm a great boyfriend,â Jeonghan says.Â
âI never said you werenât, Hannie, you know I think youâre gorgeous,â you sigh.Â
âThatâs true, I am,â Jeonghan says through a laugh.
âBut, I also know you remember what an unmitigated disaster it was when we fucked,â you point out, earning an even louder laugh.Â
âWow, and here I thought that it was actually great sex,â he says.Â
âIâm not gonna keep stroking your ego, I already admitted you were gorgeous. I donât need to praise the sex, too,â you declare.
âStroking myâŠcome on, youâre making it too easy,â Jeonghan points out.
âFunny, because I remember you being the easy one that night,â you say, finally managing to get a shot in.
âI hate you,â Jeonghan snorts.Â
âI know,â you answer. âDidnât you say that you had an idea?âÂ
Jeonghan clears his throat. âRight, yeah. Well, I know this guy and maybe he can help you out.âÂ
âWhat is he, an escort?â you snort out.
âDo you want my help or not?â Jeonghan asks.
âYoon Jeonghan, are you about to set me up with an escort?â you challenge.
âNo, of course not, just trust me,â he says.
Just trust me might be the three most terrifying words that could come out of Jeonghanâs mouth, especially when youâre not usually on the receiving end of his schemes. Itâs not like you have much choice, though. The wedding is in six weeks and you have to find a solution, fast. So, what choice do you have other than trusting your best friend? How could this go wrong?Â
You still think this is a terrible idea, yet agree to meet Jeonghanâs friend, Joshua, anyway. Apparently, heâs somewhat new to the area, doesnât know many people, and is incredibly easy to be around. Thereâs no mention of why Jeonghan thinks he might be willing to pretend to be your boyfriend. A part of you wonders if your friend even told him, but heâs not that cruel. So, whatever the case, Joshua must at least have some idea of what heâs walking into.Â
Several days pass between the nightmare of a call from Johnny and you actually meeting Joshua, which only adds to your anxiety about whether or not this is going to work. Johnny is asking for a name for the seating chart and for dinner selections. Your mom wants to know when theyâll be able to meet this new boyfriend before the wedding (because âmeeting him for the first time at a wedding is gaucheâ and we wouldnât want that). Your sister is convinced that he doesnât actually exist since you havenât posted him on social media. That you can at least answer to say that not everyone posts their entire life online like she does. It doesnât seem to allay her suspicions, though.Â
Then, thereâs the fact that youâre actually meeting Joshua for the first time at dinner. All you wanted was to go for coffee, yet he insisted. You couldnât exactly press the point. Not when youâre planning to ask this stranger to pretend to date you just so that you can avoid the embarrassment at your exâs wedding. On top of that, because Jeonghan really is a demon at his core, you donât know what Joshua looks like. Donât know who to look for. Which leads to you doing the only sensible thing and showing up 5 minutes late for dinner, hoping that heâll already be at the table when you get there.
It works.
When you give the reservation name at the host stand, youâre immediately led back to a table. Without even thinking about it, you smooth your hands down the front of your dress, looking for a small amount of comfort in this situation. Itâs not even that you struggle around new people, this is justâŠwell, itâs a lot. Itâs out of anyoneâs comfort zone. Whatever youâre expecting, itâs not the man sitting at the table the host leads you to. He nearly stops you in your tracks.Â
His black hair is perfectly styled down to the pieces on one side that come down over his forehead. The black dress shirt he wears is open at least one button too many, but he makes the exposed chest look work in a way models would envy. Even though his pants are black as well, he makes it look classic and effortless, rather than too dark. Thatâs all without even acknowledging the soft smile on his face. This man would break a thousand hearts without even saying a damn word. While youâre appreciating him, you miss the way his eyes rake over you appreciatively. Miss the way his eyes trace your curves and the way the dress clings to you.Â
In one fluid motion, heâs standing up to greet you, a gentle kiss placed on your cheek. Is it weird if your knees are a little weak? Well, even if it is, thereâs nothing you can do. Youâre completely captivated.Â
âYou must be Joshua,â you say. Brilliant, you think. Thatâs obvious.
âItâs nice to meet you. Jeonghan had nothing but good things to say,â he answers with another smile as he pulls your seat out for you.Â
âI feel like he hardly told me about you,â you respond. Joshua raises a perfect eyebrow at that.
âThen why did you agree to go out with me?â Joshua asks.Â
âGo out withâŠis this a date?â The question comes tumbling out.Â
Joshuaâs eyes widen in genuine confusion. âIs it not?âÂ
âWhat, exactly, did Jeonghan say to you?âÂ
A lot and nothing at all, it turns out. Joshua tells you about how heâs somewhat new to the area, which you knew. About how he met Jeonghan through work, kind of. They work in the same building doing very different things and happened to run into each other getting coffee a handful of times before Jeonghan introduced himself. The two had hung out several times, something Jeonghan had not really mentioned, and gotten to know each other over drinks more than once. The very first time, Jeonghan had mentioned you and Joshua admits immediately being intrigued without pressing for more information.Â
In any case, Jeonghan talked about you pretty freely, a fact thatâs hardly surprising. Before Joshua texted you, Jeonghan had mentioned, in what Joshua calls an offhand way, that you were sick of dating the same people. According to Joshua, through Jeonghan, you were looking to possibly be set up. (Read: Jeonghan thinks heâs crafty and isnât going to come out and tell this man what youâre really looking for. Typical Jeonghan, honestly. You know that âoffhand commentâ was anything but. And you had the audacity to think Jeonghan would have to tell Joshua what heâs getting into. Rookie move.)
Now youâre in a bit of an awkward situation because this man is honestly gorgeous, one of the prettiest humans youâve ever met. And, already, he seems like he might be sweet with a pretty good sense of humor. Itâs justâŠwell, youâre absolutely not looking for a relationship and this is the last person you want to get involved in your mess. Thankfully, you get a moment to catch your breath when someone comes by to take a drink order and suggest an appetizer. Itâs just enough time for you to talk yourself into telling Joshua the real story.
To his credit, he only looks mildly surprised as you outline your whole situation, inform him that yes, Jeonghan does know all of this, and clarify why you didnât actually realize it was a date. Itâs hard to miss the way his eyes seem to sparkle a bit when you also admit that heâs absolutely stunning in a way that hurts your feelings. Easier to miss is the way his face barely falls when you say that youâre not actually looking for something right now. Interesting.Â
âSo thatâs the whole thing and now that Iâve embarrassed myself in front of you, Iâm sure youâll understand if we never see each other after tonight,â you finish.
âHow am I supposed to go to a wedding as your boyfriend in a matter of weeks if we donât see each other after tonight?â Joshua wonders.
âIâŠwhat?â you sputter out.Â
âWell, sure, we need to work out a few details, but Iâm game,â Joshua says with a shrug.
âIâm sorry, I think Iâm just really confused?â You donât even have food yet and this is already the most interesting date youâve been on, possibly ever.Â
âI, uh, may have left a part of my past out when I was sharing what Jeonghan knew about me,â Joshua says. âAnd honestly, I canât believe I didnât catch it or that he did this. Iâd be mad if I wasnât so impressed by how crafty it was.âÂ
âIâm going to need you to connect some dots for me,â you admit. âOh and also never tell Jeonghan you appreciate him being crafty. His ego is too big as it is.â
âThe first time Jeonghan and I hung out, we went out for drinks, got a little wasted, and I told him about how I got through my university studies without any debts,â Joshua says, pausing long enough for someone to set the appetizer down. âHeâs observant, Jeonghan, Iâll give him that. He noticed I had designer clothes, shoes, that kind of thing. And he noticed I didnât pay attention to the prices of the drinks. So I made a vague comment about being lucky to have found a way through my studies without taking out loans.â
âIâm sure he asked you about that, he loves it when he thinks thereâs a scheme,â you note with a smile.
âYouâre right about that,â Joshua agrees. âSo I, well I told him. When I was in school, I met this woman out one night and she paid me to go to events with her. She wanted, and these were her words, âsomeone young and hotâ with her. And the next four years, thatâs what I did. I let people pay for me to go to events with them. Never more than that. I was clear that I wasnât selling sex or anything, just company.âÂ
You lean back in your seat with an appraising look. âAn entrepreneur from the beginning.âÂ
âHey, no judgment,â Joshua says. All you can do is smile.
âIâm not judging, that was really smart and youâre obviously attractive enough for it,â you acknowledge.
âThank you,â Joshua says. It doesnât have the air of cockiness Jeonghanâs answer would. He actually seems sincere in accepting the compliment.Â
âBut, Iâm still not going to pay you to pretend to be my boyfriend,â you say, even if itâs a bit reluctant.Â
âI wasnât asking you to,â Joshua shrugs. âYou donât have to pay me.â
âWhy would you offer to pretend to do something like this? You donât even know me,â you point out.
âNo, I donât. But, you seem like a good person. And I like Jeonghan, heâs niceâŠâ Joshua says, stopping when you try to cover a scoff.Â
âNice?â you question when youâre caught.
âWrong word choice,â Joshua dismisses. âHe seems like the kind of person thatâs a loyal friend, like he would go into battle to protect you. Like someone you can actually trust.â
âHe is all of those things, yeah,â you admit.
âAnd if those things are true, then him holding you out as his best friend means youâre probably all of those things too,â Joshua reasons.Â
âI try to be,â you agree.Â
âPlus, Jeonghan did mention you had seriously dated someone that was pretty rich, so I figure itâs probably the guy getting married and itâll be a nice wedding,â Joshua says with a smile. The joke is obvious by the look in his eyes.
âItâs interesting that he mentioned Johnny, thatâs my ex, being rich,â you idly comment.
âIs he not?â Joshua wonders.
âJeonghan is a lot of things, but heâd never lie to his friends,â you answer first. âSo, yeah, he is. Well, his family is at least. His mom and mine run a lot of events together, like galas and shit. Thatâs how we all know each other.â
âAre you rich, too?â Joshua wonders. Thereâs that little twinkle of something in his eyes again, but thereâs also sincerity.
âIâm still not paying you,â you retort.
âFine,â Joshua agrees.Â
You roll your eyes. âOkay, so whatâs the plan?âÂ
Thereâs a weird worldâs colliding feeling to having both Jeonghan and Joshua in your apartment. But, Jeonghan doesnât like to be left out of things. Once you told him that you and Joshua both knew about his scheming, he offered to help in any way he could. Which is likely just so heâs included. Youâll take what you can get. Now, it means that he and Joshua are sitting on your couch, scrolling through pictures on Joshuaâs phone to decide what to include in an instagram post. Thatâs the first step you and Joshua agreed on. If youâre going to sell this whole fake relationship, then your sister actually is right. There has to be some sort of proof of it online. Which also means that your post has to talk about how youâve been keeping it quiet and just enjoying getting to know each other without any pressure. Jeonghan takes credit for that, even if you got there on your own.Â
âI think I like this one,â Jeonghan says and turns the phone around to show you.Â
âWhy that one?â you ask.Â
âWhy not? Donât you like it?â Joshua worries.
âI donât know, I feel like my hand is doing something weird,â you point out.
âYou look great,â Joshua assures you.
âOh, ew, youâre not really dating,â Jeonghan complains.Â
âYou do know youâre going to have to stop saying that, right?â you ask.
âMaybe I didnât know either,â Jeonghan shrugs.
âNo, Iâm with her, youâre her best friend and you definitely wouldâve known,â Joshua agrees.Â
âWhy are you on her side already?â Jeonghan whines.
âBecause sheâs cool and sheâs not the one who knew what I did in college and set me up,â Joshua says with a laugh.Â
This is how itâs been going for the last hour. Youâre not really much for putting a lot of effort into your posts, so this all feels like too much. But, you know that itâs important for it to feel real and itâs important to get it right. Youâre honestly pretty happy to just let the guys take the lead and go with the flow of it all. There are going to be plenty of opportunities for you to take the lead. Youâre going to take your breaks where you can.Â
(That had also meant not putting up too much of a fight when Jeonghan told you to bring multiple outfits with you. Or when you had to change your hairstyle and makeup between the photos so it looked like they hadnât all been taken the same day. Honestly, this was so much easier for Joshua. Then again, heâs the one doing you a favor. So maybe you can let him have it.)
After you finally get your couple pictures posted, and get a flurry of messages ranging from surprise to congratulations, you move onto preparing Joshua to meet your parents, your sister, and her husband. Jeonghan is actually a lot of help with that because heâs been around them a lot. Well, heâs helpful after he tries to scare Joshua about how intimidating itâs going to be only to give up when Joshua is unbothered. Heâs so calm about everything that itâs actually kind of nice to be around. And he has no problem firing back at Jeonghan, which is really fun to watch.Â
You go through what your parents are like, what they do both for work and as hobbies. Joshua perks up at the mention of your dad loving music and sometimes spending his weekends just exploring new venues. It seems like there might be more to that, though you donât press when he waves it off. Itâs different when you talk about your sister, two years younger and already married. Not that youâre dying to be married or even care that she got married before you. Thatâs always seemed like a weird societal expectation, anyway. What does it matter when anyone gets married? If itâs their right person, then it makes sense. You being upset over your failed engagement really doesnât have anything to do with your sisterâs marriage, despite her instance it does.Â
It becomes obvious that youâre losing Jeonghanâs attention when you turn down his request to start playing games or watch a movie. Itâs not that you donât want to do those things, itâs just that you have a lot to cover in far less time than you realized. Sure, the wedding is still weeks away. Whatâs not weeks away is your first dinner with your family. Thatâs going to be around the corner. The least you could do, you figured, was plan a time before posting pictures on instagram. So, Jeonghan asks if itâs okay to leave and you almost sigh in relief. This will be easier without an extra person.
âNot to pry, but whatâs the deal with you and Jeonghan?â Joshua asks when you settle back on the couch with a glass of wine.Â
âWhat do you mean?â you ask.
âI donât know, I feel like I was picking up on something,â Joshua shrugs.
âWeâre really just friends,â you assure him.
âSometimes those are the bestâŠâ Joshua starts.
âDonât,â you cut off. He worries for a second before he realizes youâre smiling. âWe did try. Not so much a try, I guess, but we slept together maybe 6 months after Johnny and I broke it off and it just wasnât it.âÂ
âYou and him slept together?â Joshua questions.
âIs that weird for you?â you ask.
âNo, itâs just interesting that youâre still so close,â Joshua observes.
âI guess,â you say with a shrug. âHeâs great, obviously attractive, but we just, I donât know. I didnât feel anything. Neither did he. So, staying friends seemed like the right choice.â
âInteresting,â is all Joshua says. âHave you dated anyone seriously since Johnny?âÂ
âNot that seriously, no,â you admit. âIâve gone on dates with different people and some of them stuck around for a bit, but nothing serious.âÂ
âNot finding the right people?â Joshua presses.
âI just havenât found anyone that made me feel like Johnny did at the beginning or even like I did when he proposed,â you say.Â
âI can understand that, even if I donât really get it. Youâre gorgeous, anyone would be lucky,â he says smoothly. You cover a blush with a slight eye roll.Â
âI guess thatâs why most of my close friends will also believe that I kept a new relationship on the low. They saw me post-Johnny and have seen me try to date,â you share.
âYeah thatâs good for us, at least,â Joshua agrees.
âWhat about you, though? When was your last relationship?â you ask.
âAh, well itâs been a little over a year,â Joshua says.Â
âBad ending?â you wonder. Youâre not sure why you press him on it.
âIt wasnât great,â Joshua says with a chuckle. âShe, uh, well she decided that she just really would rather be with one of my friends than with me.â
âIâm so sorry you went through that,â you say, suddenly sorry.
âNo, no, itâs fine,â he says. âShe didnât actually cheat on me, but she had started getting close to him and sharing everything with him.â
âArguably worse, in my opinion. Emotional cheating is still a thing,â you say, trying to offer comfort.Â
âThank you,â Joshua says. His eyes are soft and full of care. âAnd, like you, I have dated since then, just nothing worth talking about.âÂ
Itâs an easy transition from that into talking about your backgrounds. Like speed dating, except somehow more intense. You learn Joshuaâs birthday, his parents names, that heâs an only child, and where he grew up. Nothing is too small and you joke about taking notes before you actually go to get a notebook. Joshua tells you his favorite color and his favorite food, tells you about his favorite memories, favorite places where he grew up, and favorite places heâs found since moving here. Thereâs a way that his face lights up when he talks about his friends thatâs drawing you in. You tell him the same. That all feels a little surface level, which you point out. If this is going to work, it has to be deeper, more serious.Â
Thatâs when something seems to almost break down. Joshua suggests that you tell each other the deep stuff, the things that you donât always admit to someone youâre dating. Or, maybe you admit it and donât get into the reasons why. When Joshua goes first and admits that heâs happiest when heâs playing his guitar, even if nobody else is listening, his whole face changes. Itâs like a completely different version of him. Heâs got an open face as it is, that hasnât changed, but you realize maybe heâs a little guarded behind the smile as well. Maybe there really is more depth than he wants anyone to realize. Maybe this is going to be more interesting than you thought.
âCan I hear you play?â you ask. His face is adorable with his eyes full of surprise.
âYou want to hear me play?â Thereâs an emotion you canât place when he looks at you.
âI love music, too, Joshua,â you say softly. âIâd love to see what youâre passionate about.â
âOh, well, I usually play at this acoustic night on Thursdays at a coffee shop downtown,â Joshua tells you.
âYou do? Thatâs so cute!â you say before second guessing it. He looks away like heâs a little embarrassed and you worry for a split second.
âIâd love it if you came by,â he says.
âItâs a shame that we canât say thatâs where we met,â you admit.
âWait, that would be a good idea, actually,â Joshua says and you smile.Â
âIt would be, but I also know events like that. Itâs always a similar crowd so Iâm sure someone will know that Iâve never been,â you reason.Â
âFair point,â Joshua concedes.Â
âWhy donât we just say we met on a dating app?â you suggest and Joshua pulls up his face. âOkay, I know apps are lame and honestly, I donât use them much. But, think about it. Thatâs the perfect reason why we didnât bring it up until now, we didnât want to answer the âwhere did you meetâ question by saying an app.âÂ
âOkay, yeah, I do actually like that because itâs easy and it doesnât feel like a wild story,â Joshua says.Â
âWhat about your parents?â you ask. âDo we need to make plans to meet them if youâre also posting about me?âÂ
âWe can figure that out, but they live pretty far away so it would probably just be over FaceTime or something,â he says.
âI also understand if you donât want to do that because weâre just pretending,â you suggest.Â
âNo, itâd be cool to have you meet them. Even if the relationship isnât real, Iâd like to be friends for real, so thatâs not a total lie,â Joshua reasons.Â
âIâd like to be friends too,â you agree. âHow long have you been living here, now?âÂ
âOh, um, like 8 months?â Joshua says like a question.
âI was figuring like a month or two with the way Jeonghan talks about you,â you laugh.Â
âYouâve been friends with him for years, youâre not actually surprised,â Joshua points out.Â
âOkay so now I guess we have to figure out when we started dating,â you comment.
âAnd everything else, but we can do it,â Joshua says.Â
Youâre a little nervous sitting on your couch waiting for Joshua to show up. Even though you offered to pick him up for dinner with your family tonight, he insisted on being the one to drive. Of course heâs right on time, which youâre already realizing is a trait of his. Heâs even a gentleman when he opens the door for you, just like he pulled the chair out the first time you met for the date-not-date. As you put your seatbelt on, you notice that there are a few things in the backseat.Â
âWhatâs all that?â you ask as he slides into the driverâs seat.Â
âFlowers for your mom, a bottle of scotch for your dad, and a cheese board for your sister because you said they just moved and she likes to host,â Joshua lists off as if itâs nothing.
âYou did not have to get things for all of them,â you point out.Â
âOf course I did, but I also wanted to. Iâm trying to make a good impression,â he says, making your heart a little light.
âThatâs so kind,â you whisper out.
âOh, I thought of something else,â Joshua shifts. Youâre worried you made him uncomfortable until he speaks again. âAre you a pet name person in relationships?â
That makes you snort, something that would embarrass you in any other situation. Itâs not the first time heâs heard it, though. âThat depends on what you want to call me.â
âThatâs a dangerous way to say that,â Joshua answers. His eyes are still on the road, yet you donât miss the way he reacts.
âI donât like overly cutesy names,â you say to diffuse a little bit of the moment. âLike, I donât know, if you want to call me sugarplum or honeybunch or something like that, please donât.â
âYouâre just giving me ideas to take away my fun,â he pouts.
âWell, what were you thinking of calling me? Or are you even a pet name person?â you ask.
âI do like them,â Joshua says. âIâm not sure that I have a go-to or anything. For you, I might say angel or possibly darling.â
âI think I prefer angel, if Iâm allowed to pick,â you say after a moment.
âOf course,â Joshua replies. Studying his face, youâre looking for a hint of mocking or insincerity, but thereâs nothing to find. This is just him.
âDo you want me to use a pet name for you?â you wonder.
âIâd happily take one, no pressure, though,â he says.Â
âIâll have to think about it,â you tell him. âSomething generic like babe doesnât feel right.â
âAre you saying Iâm special?â Now you can hear the light teasing in his voice.Â
âI take it back, any more compliments are going to go to your head,â you huff out.Â
As you get closer to your parentsâ house, you start to bounce your knee with an excess of nervous energy. Itâs not until Joshua reaches a hand out to take one of yours that youâre even sure youâre doing it. Thereâs something calming about it, though. Nothing about him reaching out feels like heâs trying to stop you, just show that youâre not alone in this. Which is more than welcome. The last person you brought to meet your parents was Johnny. Given how that ended and why Joshua is around in the first place, itâs not exactly the most comforting thought.
Once you pull up to their house, you take a deep breath. Itâs only to settle your rising nerves, but it also serves to give Joshua enough time to come and open your door. Even though youâve told him that he doesnât need to be this sweet, he insists. Without saying a word, he holds out a hand to help you out of the car. Instead of dropping your hand once youâre out, he uses it to pull you into him and wraps his arms around you. Thereâs this immediate sense of comfort, like you have actually been dating for months. You inhale his cologne without meaning to, something warm and woodsy.Â
âItâs going to be fine, parents love me,â he assures you when you pull away.
âI donât doubt that,â you say, releasing the breath you were holding and your tension with it.Â
âSo come on, my little granola wrapper, letâs go,â Joshua says as he lets you go to get the gifts out of his backseat.Â
It takes you a full few seconds to register what came out of his mouth. âIâm sorry, what did you just call me?âÂ
âIs that not the one?â he asks, eyes alight with some kind of mischief.Â
âIâm not going to encourage this,â you huff.
âWhatever you say, jellybean,â he throws out casually.Â
The second you step into the house, you see exactly what Joshua means. Your mother is fawning over him in a matter of seconds, your father is making plans to show him his records, your sisterâs husband is asking when they can go out for drinks, and your sister even holds back the snark. All during the course of the pre-dinner drinks and largely, you think, due to the gifts that Joshua brought. He had a reason for the meaning behind the type of flowers for your mother, a favorite musician who swore by the scotch for your dad, and even bought the cheese board from a small business that customized things.Â
Dinner comes along and you still feel like youâve barely said anything with Joshua masterfully steering the conversation. He even makes it sound good that you met on an app, with his improvised story of wanting to meet people in a new city. According to him, he wasnât expecting to meet someone like you and was done for the second he saw you sitting at dinner. Itâs something real, that you met him for dinner the first time at a fancy downtown restaurant. And you realize you never actually asked what his impression was that first night. More than once, you catch yourself watching his profile as he talks to one of your family members. Everything about him is at ease and you wonder if it really is all fake. Not that you think anything about him is disingenuous, heâs just really good at making people like him.Â
The only hiccup doesnât come until your mother is pulling out dessert. According to your sister, sheâs got an excellent pie in the refrigerator that you simply have to try. Youâre about to say something when Joshua beats you to it.Â
âI donât think my little sugarplum likes fruit pies, but it sounds amazing and Iâd love a piece,â Joshua interjects smoothly.Â
Your sister nearly spits out her drink, whether itâs at the nickname or him speaking up for you, youâre not sure. In any other situation, you would scold him for the name, but youâre a little stunned he remembers you donât like pie. It came up once in a rapid fire of likes and dislikes.Â
âYouâre right, she doesnât,â your sister agrees. âIâd almost forgotten.âÂ
(Thatâs when youâre sure it was another of your sisterâs tests. Trying to catch you in some kind of lie about your relationship. But, it doesnât work and you feel a little victorious for that.)
The doorbell rings through the house and you look to your mother, silently asking if sheâs expecting someone. Itâs unusual for them to have company calling this late on a Friday night. Itâs usually reserved for dinners with friends or family or galas. Unsurprisingly, your mother doesnât seem to know who it could be, but disappears to answer the door all the same. When a voice drifts through from the hallway, you freeze on the spot.
âI really just came by to drop that off for my mom, I didnât realize it was so late. Iâd hate to intrude on dessert,â the guest says.Â
âNonsense, youâre not interrupting,â your mother insists.Â
âI saw an unfamiliar car, so I figured you might have guests,â he says as they come through the doorway into the living area.Â
Your heart stutters a little in your chest, feels heavier for seeing him. Somehow he looks taller and broader than the last time you saw him. Heâs wearing his hair shorter and he looks more mature, somehow, like heâs seen so much more of the world than when you were together. Which is probably true, if you think about it. Itâs been a couple years and that means heâs had more time working with his father.Â
âThat would be my car,â Joshua says, getting to his feet immediately and extending his hand. âIâm Joshua.âÂ
âJohnny,â he answers and shakes Joshuaâs hand. Yet, his face looks a little tense and his eyes mostly stay on you.Â
âItâs just family,â your mother shares, though Johnny can obviously see that himself, âsince our darling daughter finally brought Joshua around to meet us.âÂ
âIâm glad she did, dinner was wonderful and the company was even better,â Joshua says with a smile at your mother. She nearly blushes at his compliment.Â
âOh, hush,â your mother says with a wave of her hand. âI was just getting some pie if youâd like to stay for a piece, Johnny. Although, Iâd hate to keep you from home.â
Joshua sits back down next to you, a little closer than is strictly necessary, and puts his arm along the back of the couch behind you. You feel safe pressed up against his side like that. Johnny clears his throat when he looks away from the pair of you. âGabby has been out of town all week, actually, so Iâm going back to an empty home anyway. Iâd love to stay for a piece of your famous cherry pie.âÂ
âGreat!â your mother says and disappears off into the kitchen.Â
âWhatâs got Gabby away?â your sister asks.Â
âJust a conference,â Johnny answers. âThere was a final banquet tonight and sheâll be home tomorrow.âÂ
âSheâs busy, away this week, bachelorette next weekend,â she says offhand.Â
âKeeping tabs on when everything is?â you ask of your sister. She looks at you like youâre crazy and Johnny looks awkward.
âNo, I was invited to it,â your sister answers evenly.Â
Before you can even answer, Joshua is speaking up. Probably sensing your discomfort. After all, you hadnât gotten to tell him that Johnnyâs fiance is friends with your younger sister. They had gone to school together and been close. Stealing her sisterâs fiancĂ©e doesnât seem to have impacted the friendship.Â
âYou must be excited with the big day getting so close,â Joshua says. He moves his arm from behind you so that he can take your hand on your thigh. It makes you look down at your hands before glancing at him, only to find his gaze on you already. It also means you miss the way Johnny follows the movement.Â
âUh, yeah, I mean, Iâm definitely excited. Itâs just been a lot of planning,â Johnny says.Â
âI bet,â Joshua says. âThank you so much for inviting me, I know how stressful changes can be.âÂ
âItâs no problem, Iâm happy youâll both be there,â Johnny says.Â
With almost a practiced subtlety, Joshua squeezes your hand. Thereâs so much in that one movement. A reassurance, a reminder to breathe, a reminder that heâs there, a promise that everything is going to be okay. Your heart hurts seeing Johnny sitting in the living room so casually as if nothing happened, but it doesnât hurt as much as you expected. Maybe that has something to do with this impossibly kind, completely idiotic person next to you. You also canât help the way your gaze lands on him. Just in profile, at first, before he senses your look and turns to you with a dazzling smile. Itâs like thereâs nobody else in the world but the two of you.
The conversation shifts slightly when your mother comes back in with a tray full of pie slices and your father comes back with whatever record he was looking for to show Joshua. Just like that, you survive your first in-person interaction with Johnny. Actually come out of it feeling like you might be able to handle this. The smile you send Joshua while heâs eating his pie is so fond that youâre not even sure who you are.Â
âI canât believe you didnât call me last night,â Jeonghan says in lieu of a hello.
âHello to you too, Iâm good, thanks for asking,â you retort.
âGreetings are for people who remember their best friends, not for people who send a single sentence recap after bringing their fake boyfriend home to meet the family,â Jeonghan states immediately.
âThatâs a very long rule,â you note.
âDeserved, though,â Jeonghan says.
âI was tired, Han, it was a long night,â you explain.
âA long night where your ex showed up,â he reminds you.
âThat actually wasnât so bad,â you admit. âJoshua made it feel pretty easy.â
âOh did he now?âÂ
You donât have to be in the same room as Jeonghan to hear the expression on his face when he says that. âIt was just easy, Jeonghan, nothing more than that.â
âWhat did your parents think?â he asks, switching gears.
âThey loved him, like actually loved him. My mom was enamored and kept calling him handsome. My dad was talking about music with him and making plans to go check out some acoustic music venue. Even the ice queen couldnât find anything to fault him for,â you share.
âSheâs less of an ice queen and more of a mean girl and a bitch,â Jeonghan adds.
âYou said it,â you mumble.
âI mean, come on, who thinks itâs okay for their friend to sleep with their sisterâs fiancĂ©? And then stays friends with the girl?â Jeonghan gets really defensive with this. He would ride for you to the ends of the world, which you do love. Just not today.Â
âI donât wanna relive that whole thing, itâs done and over. Nothing to do now,â you say, weariness seeping into your voice.
âWould you want to do anything about it?â Jeonghan asks.
âWhat do you mean?â You answer the question with a question.
âLike would you want to go back to when you were with Johnny?â Jeonghan asks.
You think about it for half a second. âNo.âÂ
âThat was fast,â Jeonghan comments.
âWhatâs there to go back to? He made his choice and Iâm fine, honestly. It was weird seeing him and hearing him talk about his wedding, but it wasnât as bad as I thought,â you say.
âIs that because of your Prince Charming?â Your best friend, always doing the most, puts this question into a sing-song voice.Â
âHeâs not a Prince Charming. Youâre so annoying,â you scoff.Â
âI donât know, he sure seems to be saving you,â Jeonghan presses.Â
âI canât withâŠâ you start, trailing off at the knock on your door.
âWhoâs there?â Jeonghan asks.Â
âNo clue,â you answer, getting off your couch to go see.Â
âI bet itâs Prince Charming,â Jeonghan laughs out.
âWould you fuckâŠâ you begin as you open the door to find the very subject of your conversation on the other side, âoff.â
âIâm right arenât I?â Jeonghan is nearly shrieking with glee.
âSorry, gotta go,â you say.
âOh no, no, no,â Jeonghan tries.
Youâre stepping aside to let Joshua into your apartment. âIâll see you tomorrow for brunch.â
âLet me know if I need to add one more to the reservation,â Jeonghan says.Â
âGoodbye,â you say with an eye roll Jeonghan canât see, but will surely hear. You hang up as soon as he also says goodbye.
âJeonghan?â Joshua guesses.
âUnfortunately,â you confirm.Â
âI hope I wasnât interrupting,â Joshua says. Itâs nothing like when someone says it out of forced courtesy. He actually seems like heâs making sure heâs not intruding.Â
âNo, not at all, I just wasnât expecting you,â you admit.Â
âSometimes thatâs the best time to come over,â Joshua says with a shrug.
âDoes that mean you have a plan?â you wonder.
âYup,â Joshua says.
âGonna tell me what it is?â you ask.
âNope,â he says with a concerning smile, popping the end of nope. âGo put on something comfortable but with layers. And weâre not going hiking or anything like that.âÂ
An hour later, youâre pulling off the road in an area youâve never been to, even with as long as youâve lived here. The views are instantly enough to take your breath away. You can see the whole city below you, all the bustle of traffic and skyscrapers. Somewhere, you know there are people rushing to and fro, too busy to stop and appreciate whatâs around them. Straight ahead, you can see the way the low clouds glide around, splitting around the very tops of the buildings. Itâs beautiful and it also makes you realize just how small you are.Â
While youâve been appreciating the views in front of you, Joshua has been gathering his supplies from the trunk. By the time you turn around, heâs laying a blanket and basket down on the ground in front of the car.Â
âIs thisâŠdid you set up a picnic?â you ask.
âI wanted to show you this place and figured some food might be nice,â he says with an easy smile.Â
âThatâs so sweet,â you say earnestly.
You settle on the blanket next to him and look through the food heâs pulling out. There are some of your favorite things and some things youâre not even sure youâve seen before. Somehow, though, you feel like they might become some of your new favorites. He even brought plates and he sets about putting one together for you to pick at.
Joshua tells you about how this is his favorite place and he found it completely by accident. He loves being down in the city and around all the people, but thereâs something nice about seeing things from this perspective too. Itâs like he can just disconnect for a while. Turn off his phone. Read or listen to music. Just be totally alone. Itâs how he works through a problem or gets the perspective he needs.
âI canât believe youâre sharing it with me,â you admit and his eyes light up with his smile.
âI just thought, after last night, you might appreciate having a place to get away from it all,â Joshua says.
You want to say something, anything, really, to acknowledge what Joshua just said. Try to say something. Your throat doesnât want to cooperate, it seems. Your brain, either. In fact, all you can manage to do is turn away to hide the tears. Joshua is observant, though. He doesnât say anything, just pulls you into his chest and runs his hand along your back. He quietly soothes you as you cry out a lot of emotions you didnât even realize you were experiencing.Â
And something about him comforting you, this near stranger who doesnât actually owe you anything, sets you off more. In the early days of your relationship with Johnny, you know it was good. It must have been. Surely, it was more than a relationship between two people who had known each other for years with families that were intertwined. You donât remember it anymore. Donât remember him ever holding you like this without even knowing what was wrong. Donât remember him taking you on a date like this just because he thought you would enjoy it. Since you havenât seriously dated anyone since the break-up, he also feels like your only frame of reference. That makes you sad for an entirely different reason. Who loses it over someone just being a little kind?
âIâm so sorry,â you finally say when you manage to pull yourself together.Â
âFor what?â he asks.Â
âFor just crying like that and being such a mess,â you say.Â
Joshua shakes his head. Moves his hand up to your face and waits for confirmation that itâs okay. When you nod, he gently wipes the tears from under your eyes. âYou have nothing to apologize for. What youâre going through with your ex, most of us could never even imagine that kind of pain.â
âBut still, you barely know me and here you are trying to be kind and all I can do is cry,â you say.Â
âFirst of all, I think last night and the food I put together show Iâve actually learned a lot about you in a short time,â he says and you have to laugh at that. Heâs right. âSecond, Iâm just happy you feel safe enough with me to cry. Itâs not healthy to hold all that in. Youâre not in this alone.â
That brings you up short more than anything. Heâs right, again (an annoying habit, if youâre being honest). You donât feel any hesitation around him. Nothing to stop you from crying if you feel like crying. Thatâs unusual, to say the least. Normally, youâll do anything to avoid anyone seeing you emotional. But, this man you just met is different. Heâs safe. Youâre not sure how or why, but you know you can trust him.Â
âAre you free tomorrow for brunch?â you ask. Joshua gives you a quizzical look for a moment at the sudden topic change.Â
âYeah, why?â he asks.Â
âI just need to send one quick text and then I want to do what you said you normally do here. Disconnect from the world and just appreciate the afternoon,â you say and find yourself smiling along with his smile. He really is so beautiful.Â
You: add one to the reservation for brunch tomorrow and iâll call you tonight when iâm home
You switch your phone into Do Not Disturb before the response comes and turn all your attention back to Joshua.Â
Over the next couple weeks, Joshua slips seamlessly into your life and your existing friendships. Some of them, like those closest to you that come along to the Sunday brunches, know the whole story. Itâs not like they would believe you had kept a relationship secret for that long, anyway. And itâs good to have a few extra sets of eyes and ears helping to sell the story. Other friends get the same story that your family and Johnny got. Itâs not that you donât trust them, you do. Itâs more important to keep the circle of people who know the real story as small as possible, though, so that it actually succeeds. All your friends adore him from the second they meet him. The only surprise is how well Jeonghan seems to be adjusting to sharing your time. He wants to give you a hard time, yet he doesnât.Â
You meet all Joshuaâs friends and coworkers, too. It feels way easier than it should the first time you join him and his coworkers after work for drinks. They spend most of the time giving Joshua a hard time that heâs kept you to himself for so long. Itâs easy to fall into step and you find that you do know him a lot better than you think. So, itâs just as easy for you to jump in when theyâre giving him a hard time. He pretends to be annoyed, but you can tell by the way he smiles that he likes it. Itâs one of those genuine smiles that makes his eyes bigger and brighter. Everything just feelsâŠeasy. Like this whole thing wasnât actually a bad idea after all.Â
Your favorite part might be the first time you got with him to an Open Mic Night and get to see him play. Heâs got that easy kind of confidence on the guitar. Like he knows heâs talented, but not in a cocky way. Itâs his singing that catches you off guard. His voice moves over the notes with an ease that makes you wonder why this isnât something heâs doing for a living. Heâs got this way of pulling you into songs that you donât even know. And heâs so kind with the people that show up just to see him play. They all seem just as happy to meet you and know that heâs happy.Â
Thereâs only been one part thatâs been difficult. Not difficult, exactly, but not as comfortable as some of the other things. While you and Joshua talked through anything and everything to prepare to start a fake relationship, you covered comfort levels with physical affection. You both say youâre comfortable with physical touch, though he seems to seek it out more than you do. That includes at least some level of PDA as a couple. Youâve never really been one to just randomly make out with a partner in public, but youâve never been shy about expressing affection either. It was fine, when it was all theoretical.Â
In actual practice, itâs been a little more difficult. The first time Joshua had pressed a kiss to the side of your head while you were out with people that didnât know it was fake caught you off guard. It shouldnât have, he asked before doing it and you confirmed it was fine. What you hadnât been entirely prepared for was how it would feel when he did it. Or how it would feel that he was so casual about it, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like it wasnât making you rethink everything in your life.Â
Tonight, youâre hanging out with friends at Hyejinâs house. You and her have been friends since before you even started school. So, she knows whatâs really going on with Joshua. Your other friends there, though, are mostly not in on it. Which is fine. Youâre shockingly comfortable with the song and dance.Â
Itâs not actually fine.Â
It starts the same as any other time youâve been out somewhere with him. Youâre sitting close together on the couch, thighs pressed together, with his arm behind you along the back of the couch. Periodically, his fingers play with the sleeve of your shirt. Itâs an absentminded habit and youâre used to it. Heâs usually keeping some sort of contact with you in a very subtle way. You learned right away that he did like physical touch, but it was rarely something obvious. One drink in and his affection got a little more obvious. Arm wrapped firmly around you. More kisses pressed to the side of your head.Â
Two drinks in and it changes again. He removes his arm from around you in favor of holding your hand. Playing with your fingers while heâs having other conversations, like he doesnât even realize. Hand squeezing your thigh. Or tracing patterns into the material of your pants. Head dropping down on your shoulder when heâs not talking to someone else. And itâs definitely not fine. Youâre nursing your drink, but even if you werenât, his constant presence would sober you. Since youâve just finally finished your first, you think maybe a second is a good idea.
Itâs not. Joshua gets another drink, his third, and you decline. Instead, you stick with the water youâve been drinking since you couldnât even finish your second. You want to be able to respond, whatever happens. Respond to whatever new form of affection unlocks with this next drink.Â
âI hope you stick around, youâre my favorite of the partners that weâve met,â Mimi announces to Joshua when he plops back down next to you.Â
Youâre glad that you hadnât taken a sip because it wouldâve come out immediately. Mimi has been a friend for a long time as well, and you love her, but she doesnât know the truth.Â
âDonât I know it,â Joshua agrees, earning a lot of laughter.Â
âHave you met Johnny yet? I know youâre going to the wedding,â Taehyung wonders.Â
âYeah Johnny showed up magically the night I brought him by to meet my parents, sister, and brother-in-law,â you say, regaining some composure.Â
âI think you traded up,â Joshua says, eyes laser focused on you.Â
Youâre not so lucky this time and you just took a sip. You nearly choke. âDo you?â
âDefinitely,â Joshua insists.Â
âI agree,â Jimin says and Mimi elbows him in the side. âWhat?â
âYouâre going to the wedding,â she says.Â
âSo? Heâs a fucking tool,â Jimin shrugs off.Â
âAre you all going, then?â Joshua asks.Â
âA good portion of us, yeah,â Hyejin says. âFamily connections, you know?âÂ
âI wasnât invited,â Mimi pouts.Â
âWant to come?â Taehyung asks and Mimi laughs.Â
âTae, my love, you canât just invite people,â Mimi says and shakes her head.Â
âI have a plus-one,â Taehyung says with a shrug. âI think we all knew I wouldnât make it to the wedding in my relationship. But, Johnny still thinks Iâm bringing someone.â
âDamn, okay. Iâm in,â Mimi says.Â
âIâm not going either, my family ties werenât enough to get an invite,â Jeonghan says without any sorrow in his eyes.Â
âThatâs because of what you said to him after the break up,â Hyejin interrupts with a laugh.Â
âI donât remember saying anything that bad,â Jeonghan shrugs, and examines his finger nails to show how little he cares.Â
âRemind me to show you what he said some time, it was fucking gold,â Hyejin says to Joshua.
âDo you have it saved?â you ask.
âI should have it framed, honestly,â Hyejin says. âGet you a best friend like Jeonghan, for real, for real.âÂ
âHey, thatâs my best friend, get your own,â you joke.Â
âThatâs a shame you wonât be there though, Han, I couldâve used the familiar face,â Joshua says.
âLike youâre going to be paying attention to anyone but your date,â Hyejin teases.Â
âCan you blame me? I still canât believe how lucky I got,â Joshua says without any hint that heâs pretending. It makes your heart skip a couple beats as you try to catch your breath.Â
âUgh, Iâm so single,â Mimi whines.Â
âMaybe not after the wedding,â Hyejin teases.Â
The conversations devolve from there into separate, smaller chats. Joshua is back to tracing patterns into your leg. Without warning, he pops his head up and places a quick peck on your lips before dropping his head onto your shoulder again. Heâs so nonchalant about it that youâre not really sure it even happened. Youâve kissed a couple times like that, quick pecks in public. But, itâs always been when youâve talked about it. It isnât until you look up to meet Jeonghanâs eyes that you know it all really happened.Â
Joshua, unaware that heâs just turned your world a little upside down, moves his head to look at you again. âYouâre beautiful, you know.â
Itâs barely a whisper and you know heâs not drunk. Heâs not sober either, though. And youâve had drinks around each other before. Heâs just never been quite so glued to your side or free with the compliments. Youâre also not usually so singularly focused on him. A fact that doesnât go entirely unnoticed.Â
âThank you,â you whisper back.Â
âIâm kinda hungry,â he continues in a bit of a whine.Â
âWell you were the one who thought skipping dinner was smart,â you tease him.Â
âBut my little honeybunch,â he teases back. You snort and miss the way several of your friends watch the interaction because they know how you are about weird pet names.Â
âTry again, sweetheart,â you answer.Â
âSweetheart, I like the way that sounds,â he says, distracted.Â
âJust a little longer and we can leave and get something to eat,â you say and he sighs.Â
âFine,â he concedes and kisses your cheek, just barely a whisper away from the corner of your mouth.Â
About half an hour later, you say your goodbyes. Despite your suggestions, Joshua continued drinking instead of switching to water. Itâs as fine as it can be, though. Heâs just an affectionate drinker. He wraps an arm around you, slipping a hand into your back pocket so that he can whisper thanks again. You do your best to shrug it off and let him drape his arms around your shoulder instead.Â
The car ride is quiet, initially. You pick a playlist that he made for you after you first met. Something he seems to enjoy. Youâre nearly back at his place when he says that he doesnât have anything to eat. But, luckily, thereâs a place around the corner that he loves thatâs still open. He manages to place an order on the app, gets something for you as well, and pays before getting there. All you have to do is walk in.Â
âI hope youâll come in and eat with me,â he says when you get back into the car.Â
Youâre not really sure how to tell him that you donât want to. Not because you donât want to spend time with him. Or that you donât appreciate him ordering something he knows youâll like. No, itâs so much deeper than that. Itâs that you donât know if your heart can handle it. Youâve got a couple more weeks of this and your heart is taking a beating. All of this is fake. Itâll be over after the wedding. But, the compliments donât feel fake. The kisses donât feel fake. The affection doesnât feel fake. Your heart racing is real, oh so real. You donât need anyone to tell you that youâre in way too deep.Â
None of that comes out, though.Â
âSure, sweetheart,â you say and hold your breath for a second. You hadnât meant to say that when it was just you.Â
Joshua smiles over at you. âReally do like that.âÂ
Does he know what heâs doing to you? Can he hear your heart hammering in your chest? Can he hear your breath catch? Does he know how insanely beautiful he is? Or that heâs all the more beautiful because heâs so unfailingly kind?Â
Probably not, because he gets distracted and starts singing along as the song changes. Itâs welcome, but also a little devastating. His voice cuts through you in a way youâre still very unprepared to handle.
After another few minutes, youâre at Joshuaâs place. He springs back into action and tries to open your door for you, even though youâre the driver. He settles for taking hold of your hand as he walks to his door, only reluctantly dropping it when he gets to the door.Â
His apartment is familiar to you, it has to be for this to be believable. So, he sets the food out and you grab plates. You grab a couple waters from the fridge while he takes the food over to the couch, bypassing the table. You sit next to him, leaving enough space between you that youâre not touching. Hoping he doesnât think anything of it.Â
Itâs useless, apparently, because he slides over to press into your side.
Whatâs worse (not that you thought that was possible) is that he picks things off of your plate and gives you food off his plate. Tries to feed it to you, actually, and pouts when you donât let him. It takes everything in you not to beg him to be gentle on your heart. He doesnât even seem to realize what heâs doing to you as he smiles and jokes. Doesnât seem to think twice about playing with your hands or his hand on your leg or any of the things he usually does when you have an audience. Thereâs nobody here to see and heâs not usually this touchy when youâre alone. Maybe itâs the drinks.
âI like your friends a lot, you know,â he says out of nowhere.
âThey like you, too,â you assure him.
âWhat about you?â he asks.
âIâd assume they like me as well,â you laugh out.
âNo, I meant me. Do you like me?â he asks, eyes big and vulnerable.
Please, Joshua, Iâm begging you. Be gentle with me, you think so loud youâre worried he might hear.
âIâm actually a little sick of you,â you joke.Â
âBut, but,â he begins and dramatically throws himself in your lap.Â
âYouâre the worst,â you say without any bite. Your hands find their way into his hair, softly running through the strands.
âThat feels nice,â he says softly. âCan I just stay like this? Iâm tired.âÂ
âOf course,â you whisper.
âYouâll stay with me?â he asks, sounding like heâs about to drift off.
Youâre sure he wonât remember any of this. Not because heâs drunk, but heâs on the edges of sleep. So, you answer in a whisper. âAlways.âÂ
Maybe heâs not the one that needs to be careful with your heart. Maybe itâs you that needs to be careful. You know that you could walk away. That you could just remind him that this is all fake and thereâs nobody around to see now. Thatâs not what you do. So, maybe youâre just as much to blame.Â
Sunday Joshua: thanks for taking care of me last night Joshua: idk why the drinks hit me so hard Joshua: when did you leave? Monday Joshua: is everything okay? Did i say something stupid? Tuesday Joshua: i donât wanna sound clingy but are we still getting together at your place after work?
Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you know that you need to respond. You know that what youâre doing isnât fair to anyone. Itâs not like Joshua can somehow read your mind to realize youâre spiraling. It just feels a little paralyzing. This is a weird limbo of knowing you might be in over your head, but still believing this is all fake.Â
Jeonghan: hey dummy i know youâre ignoring joshua so iâm coming over tonight Jeonghan: i told him youâve been busy at work and i havenât heard from you either but we have some talking to do
Leave it to Jeonghan. You had almost forgotten, with how well youâve gotten to know Joshua, that it was Jeonghan who introduced you in the first place. Of course he would text your best friend when he couldnât get a hold of you. Does that make you feel better? Not really, you think, because it feels like a real relationship in a way. Oh well, you can talk about it with Jeonghan. If he shows up, that is.
And he does, less than an hour later.
âIâm here,â he announces when he comes in the door.
âThanks for knocking and giving me the chance to pretend Iâm not here,â you call back.
âYour car is outside and you have your location turned on,â Jeonghan says.Â
âRight,â you answer as he comes through the hall holding a bag from your favorite take out place.
âAt least I come bearing gifts,â he says.
âYouâre an angel, do you know that?â you ask and reach for the bag.
Jeonghan snorts. âIâm gonna remind you of that the next time you call me a demon.âÂ
âWell, Lucifer was a fallen angel,â you reason with a shrug.Â
âI hate you,â he says.
âI know,â you answer.Â
Jeonghan busies himself with taking out the food and making sure you have napkins. Tells you what he wants to drink when you get up to go into the kitchen. Calls for you to grab some utensils as well. By the time you sit back down with him, heâs flipping through a streaming service trying to find something to watch. Itâs not at all what youâre expecting and you just let it happen. The two of you have been friends long enough to know you should just let things play out.
With some mindless show on in the background, Jeonghan talks about work and your friends and everything else thatâs been going on the past few days. Like itâs been weeks since you last saw him. Mostly, he talks about how Taehyung has been blowing up his phone asking for advice about Mimi, which is actually news to you. Sure, you saw him ask her if she wanted to go with him to the wedding. What you had not expected was for him to actually be interested. Which he is, if his messages to Jeonghan are anything to go by. Itâs been everything from advice about talking to her to what kinds of things she might like as a surprise. They would probably be cute, you think.Â
âYeah, well, sometimes feelings catch us off guard,â Jeonghan says when you admit your surprise.
Damn. Did you really walk right into that?
âTrue,â you admit, knowing thatâs the best answer you can give.
âTalk to me,â Jeonghan urges.Â
âAbout what?â you ask to buy more time.
âJoshua,â he says.
âThereâs nothing to talk about,â you state. That makes him fix you with a look.
âClearly there is or you wouldnât be ignoring him,â he says.Â
âWeâre not really dating so I donât owe him constant updates. Iâm not ignoring him. I just have other shit to do,â you say without looking at him.
âWould you like to be?â he asks. That does make you turn to him.
âLike to be what?â you ask, though you think you know.
âReally dating him,â Jeonghan says.
Itâs a crossroads kind of moment. You could say that you donât want that. That would be a lie, though, and Jeonghan doesnât like it when you lie. Can always tell the second you say something thatâs not true. The truth is that youâve spent nearly every moment since that stupid night at Hyejinâs place thinking about what you actually feel for your fake boyfriend.Â
âI donâtâŠknow,â you say slowly and earn a smile because itâs not a lie.
âI was there the other night too, I saw the way it all played out,â he says.
âI mean, does it matter? This is all fake and soon, itâll be over,â you say.
âOf course it matters and itâll be over soon? Please,â Jeonghan scoffs. âI know heâs told you that he wants to keep you in his life after Johnnyâs wedding. So, what? Youâre just gonna be like okay, that was fun, letâs never talk again?â
âI donât know, maybe,â you say quietly.
He rolls his eyes. âTry again, buttercup.âÂ
âIt doesnât matter. He doesnât like me like that, heâs just nice,â you say, avoidant as ever.Â
âHe looks at you like heâd give you the moon if you asked for it,â Jeonghan snorts out.
âHeâs just nice, Han,â you disagree.
âMaybe,â your closest friend concedes, a rare move for him. It feels weird all the same. âWhatever it is, text him back. He misses you and I donât want to hear anymore about how heâs worrying he upset you.â
âHeâs been worrying that he upset me?â you ask. Your heart constricts at that.
âYeah, for some reason he actually likes your company,â he says. âCanât relate.â
You smack Jeonghan on the arm. âSays the man who shows up at my place unannounced when I ignore him for a day.â
âNo, I was just bored,â he argued. âAnd youâre way too stubborn to sort out your shit on your own.â
 âIâm not stubborn, but fine, Iâll text him,â you relent.
âNow,â he says.
âWhat?â
âText him now so that I know you actually did it.â
You roll your eyes at him, but pull your phone out anyway. Angling it away from Jeonghan so that he canât see your screen. Heâs such a nosy brat sometimes.
You: hey, iâm sorry. Itâs been really busy and i had a lot on my mind You: wanna do something tomorrow?
The response comes right away and you ignore the smug look on Jeonghanâs face as you quickly make plans. If Jeonghan was anyone else, he would probably just let you be since he ultimately got what he wanted. But, heâs not anyone else. And heâs as caring to his friends as he is calculating when he wants something. So, heâs not doing it to be cruel, not at all. He just wants you to consider what youâre actually feeling.Â
Youâll never tell Jeonghan how much you appreciate him talking everything through with you. Never tell him how good it feels to get all the thoughts out of your head. To his credit, heâs not smug and he doesnât tell you that heâs been right about your feelings all along. He just listens, supports you when you need it, and encourages you to keep thinking through everything thatâs going on.
As a make-up for slightly ignoring Joshua (over your own internal freak out), you take him to dinner at your favorite restaurant. Itâs this tiny little hole-in-the-wall that people seem to walk past. The kind of place where you couldnât overspend even if you tried because the couple that owned it just wanted to share good food. The kind of place where they know everyone by name. It makes you feel instantly at ease.Â
Joshua doesnât say it, but he also kind of canât believe you wanted to show him some place that meant so much to you. All he could do was watch, with so much fondness, as you spoke to the couple about everything under the sun. Watch as you turned slightly red when they scolded you for taking so long to bring Joshua by. Smile as you promised the both of you would be back. Despite trying to pay, you beat him to it. Even leaving a massive tip because you insisted the couple had undercharged you. They made a big show of not wanting to take the tip and you only reminded them the cash would stay sitting on the counter. You werenât taking it back either.Â
You donât really think about it when you take a picture of you and Joshua to upload on Instagram. At least, you try not to. Later, when youâre home and winding down for the night, you pull the picture back up. Itâs amazing just how happy both of you look. You donât need to read the comments to know that youâve never looked so happy in your life. Every part of you wants to pull back again. Itâs overwhelming. But, Jeonghanâs voice plays in your head and instead you push past. Make more plans that could break your heart. You have to just trust that he wonât.Â
It isnât until the weekend that youâre able to see him again because your schedules didnât quite match up. That doesnât stop him from calling you at night, though. Insisting that he wants to know how your day was, even if you can only spare a few minutes for a call. (Which never ends up being the case. You fall asleep on the phone with him twice. His voice is just so soothing when itâs all deep and soft.)Â
Again, Joshua tells you the date is a surprise. He can be a little bit of a demon, when it suits him. Sure, he likes to pretend heâs not. That heâs above the chaos. Then, he does something like this and he canât really escape it. But, heâs so sure he knows what you like that heâs positive youâll enjoy the date. You remember how that chat had gone, too. You were ready to go to sleep, but unable to say goodnight.Â
(âI have our next date planned,â Joshua says, voice soft to match the calm of the night.
âWhat is it?â you wonder.
âA surprise,â he answers.
âWhat if I donât like it?â you ask back.
âYou will,â he assures you.
âYou sure seem to think you know me,â you joke.Â
âYeah, I do. Donât worry, youâll like this too,â he says.
There was no point in denying it. That confidence sent a bit of a shiver through you.)Â
It turns out that the date is at a winery where youâre painting with wine. You have to ask him to say it again because youâve only ever heard of wine and paint classes. Painting with wine is entirely new to you. It sounds fun, though, and you know how crafty Joshua can be, have seen all the projects around his apartment. So, even though youâre definitely not that artistic, youâre excited to see this as well.Â
Admittedly, by the end of the session, your painting isnât bad. It was a bit weird to use wine in that way, but they let you drink as well. Which makes it a lot easier to just go along with the idea of painting. Joshuaâs painting, on the other hand, is beautiful. Not for the first time, you think his talents might be wasted at an office job. Youâve seen the bracelets he makes and now youâve seen him paint. Youâve heard him sing and play the guitar. Heâs impossibly artistic in a way that should make you jealous. Instead, it just makes you more endeared to him.Â
You snap a picture of him and his art when heâs not looking and upload it before he can even realize it. Itâs only when a notification goes off on his phone that he realizes. He doesnât even say anything, just gets a sparkle in his eyes that makes you weary immediately. Heâs busy tapping away on his own phone before a notification sounds on yours. Maybe you werenât the only one to steal a candid shot if the picture of you laughing with a glass of wine in one hand and a paintbrush in the other is anything to go by. Itâs the caption that really ruins you, though. Just a simple âthink Iâm addicted to her lightâ. Itâs so simple and also so much sweeter than yours. You fight through the urge to run away.Â
Which lasts until you get home from dinner. It was the perfect date, truly. Joshua always seems to know exactly how to plan out a day so everything works. After sipping wine and painting, he took you to one of his favorite restaurants. Nothing too pretentious, just kind of unassuming. The kind of place where you get good food and even better conversation. Itâs (mostly) easy to keep your mind off the way your heart keeps racing.
When youâre back home, youâre not so lucky.
Back home, alone in your apartment, there arenât any distractions. Nothing to stop your mind from all the ways that it can sabotage your own happiness. Nothing to stop you from thinking about how nobody, not even Johnny, has ever planned out such thoughtful dates for you. Nobody has ever taken the time to really know you like Joshua. Even if you wonât admit it, he knows you better than anyone youâve ever dated. Which is terrifying, since this is all fake. And he hasnât even known you that long.Â
So, you do the rational thing and you pull back again. Answer his texts so that he doesnât send Jeonghan over to figure out whatâs wrong, but donât make solid plans. Talk a lot about a work project that you really need to get done ahead of schedule so that youâre not stressing leading up to the wedding. And you throw in some easy suggestions in the meantime so that it still seems like youâre making an effort.Â
Lunch on a work day so that it has a set ending time. Which still tugs at your heartstrings a bit because he takes a longer lunch just to meet you closer to where you work.Â
An event where your parents purchased a table for charity because heâs in high demand with your family around. And he canât be as affectionate.Â
His Open Mic Nights, but with the excuse that you canât stay too late because of your project and he should stick around with his friends. Youâll get home safely.
Small little things that keep you around him and keep up your conversations while still giving you time to breathe. Youâre sure that youâre pulling it all off. And then, the wedding is around the corner. The finish line is in sight.Â
You: Iâm not going to the wedding You: you donât have to come pick me up Joshua: what are you talking about? You: iâm not going Joshua: but itâs literally in a few hours? You: yeah and i donât wanna go, so youâre off the hook You: thanks for everything, but you donât have to pretend anymore
Even if you know youâre being a little petulant, you donât really care. This whole thing was supposed to be about protecting your heart. Protecting your pride. Not showing up to your cheating ex-fiance's wedding alone and looking like some kind of loser. It was not supposed to be about your heart getting clobbered anyway. So, youâre doing the only logical thing you can think of. Ignoring your problems. Avoiding both the wedding and Joshua. What youâre not prepared for, though you should be, is the knock that comes at your door half an hour later.Â
Joshua is on the other side of the door and your heart actually stops. Heâs got his tux on and his hair styled back off his face. His eyes are soft as they take you in, noting that you have your hair and make up done. Though, youâre still in your sweats. You got at least that far before you decided this was a stupid fucking decision.Â
âCan I come in?â he asks when you donât say anything.
âSure,â you say and step aside.Â
âYou look like youâre getting ready,â he comments once heâs inside.
âI was, until I texted you,â you answer. âSpeaking of, why are you here?â
âBecause we had plans,â he says.Â
âYeah to go see my ex-fiance marry the girl he cheated on me with. Oh, and for you to pretend to be my boyfriend so I didnât look pathetic,â you say with a huff.Â
âYouâre not pathetic. Heâs an asshole,â Joshua says. He doesnât swear often, so it catches you a little off guard.Â
âWell, whatever, you donât have to go. So, Iâm not really sure why youâre here,â you say.Â
âYouâre being so cold. Whatâs going on?â Joshua asks and reaches out to you. Instead, you duck away from his touch.Â
âNothing is going on. It was stupid to care what Johnny thought or to try and save face somehow,â you say.Â
âItâs not stupid. He hurt you and you didnât deserve that,â Joshua urges.
âYou really donât know me that well. Maybe I did deserve it. Maybe I was awful to him and he had no choice,â you say.
âWe both know thatâs not true,â he says.
âDo we?â you challenge.Â
âYes, we do,â he presses. âThere is nothing you could do that justifies cheating instead of just breaking it off. But, I also know you didnât do anything wrong. Jeonghan and I talked about it.â
âYou spoke to Jeonghan about my relationship behind my back?â you question.Â
âWhat is going on? Weâve been hanging out for weeks and getting to know each other. I just wanted to know more about someone I was going to be helping. And I like knowing you,â Joshua says and you have to look away. You donât need the reminder of how much time youâve spent with him.
âYeah, sorry about all that time we wasted. Iâll pay you back for the tux or anything else you had to buy to pretend to date me,â you say and he looks genuinely confused.
âI donâtâŠwant you to pay me back for anything. It wasnât a waste of time. I did this because I wanted to,â he says.
âYeah, well, you donât have to pretend anymore because Iâm not going to the stupid fucking wedding. It was a really bad idea in the first place,â you say.
Joshua clenches his jaw and looks away. Like maybe heâs frustrated. âWhat is going on? Do you still have feelings for him?âÂ
âFor who? Johnny?â you ask, so insanely caught off guard that you forget youâre mad.
âYes,â Joshua says tightly.
âYouâve got to be fucking kidding me,â you bark out.
âWell? Youâre being really weird and now you donât want to go to a wedding that weâve been planning on,â he starts.
âYeah, which should make you happy, since you donât have to pretend to be my boyfriend anymore,â you say.
âBecause youâre still in love with Johnny,â Joshua finishes like he hadnât even heard you.
âOh my god,â you nearly scream. âIâm not fucking in love with Johnny. This isnât about him.â
âSo, you donât want to go to the wedding and it has nothing to do with him? That doesnât make any sense,â he says.Â
âNo, I donât want to keep doing this,â you say, gesturing between the two of you. âI donât want to keep pretending to date you when I -â
You clamp your mouth shut. Unable to believe that you almost blurted out how you feel.
âWhen you what?â he challenges. âWhat? Is it that bad being around me? Is that it? Are you just sick of me? Ready to toss me aside?â
You laugh bitterly, not even able to appreciate the irony in the situation. âNo, Joshua, I donât want to toss you aside.âÂ
âThen, what? What am I supposed to think when youâve been pushing me away for the last couple weeks? And I have to act like I havenât noticed all the ways youâve kept me at armâs length since we went to the winery. Why did you just decide, literally today, that you donât want to go to the wedding after all?â he asks, rambling. Heâs pacing in front of you. âWhy are you trying so hard to get rid of me?â
âBecause I donât want to get hurt!â you blurt out. âBecause I donât want to go to my fucking scumbag of an exâs wedding where everyone is going to be giving me these looks of pity or focusing on my relationship with him when all I want is this.â
âThis? What?â he asks, coming to a stop.
âThis, Joshua, you and me. Having this just all be pretend is breaking my heart. I canât keep doing it. It was supposed to keep me from getting my heart broken. It sucks and I hate it and I just wish it wasnât pretend. I donât want to go to the wedding and have you be so sweet and kind and caring when Iâm going to know it has an expiration date. That itâs all just been for show,â you admit. You turn away, clutching your arms around your center because youâre so tired. And so exposed. So vulnerable. Itâs awful.
The tears wonât stop, so you donât notice how Joshua has closed the space between you until he wraps his arms around you from behind. Pulls you back against his chest and presses a kiss into your hair.
âSo, letâs stop saying itâs pretend,â he whispers.Â
âWhat?â you whisper back.
He turns you in his arms so that youâre facing him and gently brushes away the tears. âLetâs stop saying itâs fake. It doesnât feel fake, does it?â
âNo,â is all you can manage.
âSo, itâs not fake and weâre not pretending,â he says.
âBut,â you start to protest.Â
âI knew I was in trouble, really deep trouble, as soon as we left your parentsâ house. I was just waiting for you to catch up,â he says as he gently runs a thumb across your cheek to wipe away a tear . Your eyes go wide.
âThat was barely a week in,â you say and he just shrugs. âAnd Iâd dumped all my bullshit on you.â
âI think thatâs actually what made me like you so much,â he says. âIt was supposed to be fake and we were trying to get to know each other well enough to pull it off. But, instead, I just realized you were actually perfect.â
âPerfect? I was broken,â you joke and he shakes his head.
âNo, youâve been hurt. Who hasnât? Youâre also strong, kind, funny, a fiercely loyal friend, and one of the most beautiful people Iâve ever met, inside and out,â he says.Â
âThatâs so, youâre so sweet,â you say and try to hide your face. He doesnât let you. âYou like me?â
âIâve liked you the whole time. I did think it was a date, after all,â he says. âAnd do you think Iâm that affectionate with everyone?â
âWe were pretending,â you argue.
âI wasnât,â he argues back.
âOur closest friends thought you were,â you disagree.
âAnd was anyone else there in my apartment when I was still being affectionate?â he asks.
âWell, no, butâŠâ you start.
âI heard you say always,â he tells you.
âYou did?â you ask, sure that itâs been your secret this whole time.
âWe donât have to go to the wedding. But, if itâs just because you donât want this to be over with me, then itâs not going to be over. Iâm yours for as long as you want me,â he says so earnestly it nearly makes you blush.
âCareful, you might get sick of me,â you joke.
He puts a finger under your chin so he can look you in the eyes. âIâll say it again. Iâm yours as long as you want me. I wonât get sick of you.âÂ
âIâŠâ you start and donât know where to go. So you do the only thing you can think of and kiss him. Itâs clear heâs a little caught off guard, but he recovers quickly. His arms wrap around you to hold you tight against him. Itâs the first time youâve really kissed him and youâre so screwed because he really is perfect at this too.Â
âSo, do I get you for the rest of today?â he asks.
You take in his tuxedo again, for real this time. Appreciating how well itâs tailored and how amazing he looks. With a sigh, you say, âyou know, itâs a shame to waste such a nice tux.â
âAre youâŠI thought we werenât going,â he stutters.
âIâm probably gonna have to fix my makeup in the car, but why not? I want to show off my super hot and very real boyfriend,â you say and watch him choke on air.Â
âYou canât just sayâŠâ he starts.
âDamn, sick of me already?â you tease.
âYou know Iâm not,â he answers and moves to follow you.
âNo, no. You donât get to see me changing. Iâll be back out in a second,â you say.Â
Youâre in the middle of shimmying into your dress when you realize that you do still have a lot to talk about. A lot to figure out. This whole situation has been unusual, though, so it probably makes sense that there isnât a template. Once you have your shoes on, you walk back into the living room, prepared to say something, only to find Joshua speechless.
âYou lookâŠâ he starts.
âYouâve seen the dress already,â you say and smile.
âNot on you. Not in person. You look amazing,â he says and crosses to pull you into his arms. âAre you sure we have to go?â
âYes,â you say and swat him. âBut, I do know we have a lot to talk about.â
âIâm not in a rush,â he says and allows you to step away.
âWe might need to be in a bit of a rush,â you say, checking the time and gathering all your things.Â
âLetâs go, then,â Joshua says and offers his arm.Â
The wedding passes in kind of a blur. In truth, you barely even register Johnny or what heâs doing beyond the actual ceremony. The reception is so massive that itâs easiest just to focus on the people around you. Especially when youâre at a table with your friends. Thankfully, youâre not at a table with your parents or your sister. It does mean, though, that youâre sitting next to Hyejin, who has definitely realized that something shifted between you and Joshua. So, sheâs trying to sneak in a question any time she can. Which is hard, given that Joshua is more attached to you than ever. And Hyejin doesnât want to draw unnecessary attention to you. All you manage to let her know is that itâs real now and that youâll fill her in after the wedding. (Youâre also thankful that people seem to be cooing over Taehyung and Mimi since theyâre the shiny new topic.)
Itâs also nice to have Joshua there because heâs a built in way to excuse yourself from any conversation that you donât want to be part of. Itâs easy to just say youâre going to go back to the table. Or, in the case of a good song coming on, heâll be quick to drag you to the dance floor and away from whatever conversation youâre stuck in. Heâs a good dancer, too. You donât miss the way Hyejin catches your eye when the first slow song comes on and he pulls you close to him. But, thatâs a conversation for another day. All you wanted was to appreciate the way his hand felt on your lower back or your hand felt in his.Â
When it was finally time to leave, Joshua led you out of the event, arm around you to guide you. Neither of you were drunk, but you had still hired someone to take you to and from the wedding anyway. A gift from your parents to appreciate you âdoing the right thingâ and coming to the wedding. For the sake of the families. It made you roll your eyes at the time, yet youâre thankful now. It would be far better than having to take an Uber or trying to get a room at the hotel (and risking seeing everyone else staying there the next morning). The ride home also gave you the chance to talk. Really talk. Neither of you cared much that someone else was driving (and he had the partition up, anyway), as you talked about your feelings honestly for the first time.Â
As it turned out, you had a lot to say. Both of you. You hadnât been nearly as good at hiding your feelings from Joshua as you had been at hiding them from yourself. He had hoped you were going to admit them to him after that night at his apartment. Instead, you avoided him. Yes, he knew that you had been avoiding him. You also werenât very good at picking up on the signs he dropped about his feelings for you. He admitted that he could have just said something, but he was trying to be subtle so he didnât scare you off. Trying to let his actions speak through more affection. You admit you were scared to think it was anything more than it actually was. Scared of your feelings. Scared of getting hurt again. Joshua completely understands that and admits that heâs a little scared, too, because youâre definitely more important to him than he was anticipating. Heâs also confident that you can work through it together. It gives you a feeling of hope. Makes everything about you feel lighter. You see that relief reflected in Joshuaâs eyes when they scan yours.Â
The car pulls to a stop and he gets out first. He holds his hand out to help you out of the car. Youâre not really sure what comes over you.
âCome up with me,â you ask, but itâs more of a statement.Â
He hesitates, conflicted. âI donât know if I should.â
âWhy?â you ask, clearly confused.
âI donât know if Iâll be able to leave,â he answers and you smile.
âThen stay,â you shrug, âat least for breakfast.âÂ
Without waiting for him to respond, you turn and head for the front door of the building. It means you miss the way he freezes in place, but you can guess at that by how long it takes before he catches up to you. Heâs unusually quiet and still beside you as you go up the elevator and then behind you as you unlock the door.Â
âIâm gonna go change,â you announce after you drop your keys by the door. You look back at Joshua, appreciating him in the tuxedo one last time. âIâve got some clothes in the spare room that should fit. Theyâre Jeonghanâs âÂ
You take the opportunity to breathe for a second, to let it settle in that you asked Joshua to come in with you and stay the night. Then, you set about changing out of your dress. Carefully clean your face free of the make-up. Brush through your hair and twist it back off of your face. Once youâre in comfy clothes and bare faced, you head back out into the living room. Itâs odd that you donât even feel self-conscious about Joshua seeing you like this, youâre instantly comfortable.Â
Joshuaâs back is to you in the kitchen. When he turns around, you see that heâs put together a little platter of snacks. You also were right, the t-shirt and shorts he picked out seem to fit him well. Jeonghan is a little slighter than Joshua, but he wears most of his clothes on the baggier side.Â
âThanks for the clothes,â he says when you both meet on the couch. âI was worried when you said you had spare clothes they were gonna be from an ex or Johnny or something.âÂ
Your laugh is sudden and clearly catches Joshua off guard. âI wouldnât have kept any of Johnnyâs clothes. I gave them all to charity.âÂ
âIâm sure he was thrilled with that,â Joshua laughs.
âThey made a killing reselling them,â you laugh in response. âWanna watch something?â
âSure, you pick,â he says.
You start clicking through your saved list to find something that the two of you can watch. Once you settle on something, Joshua motions you over. Even if you want to pretend youâre considering it, you canât. Every part of you wants to be close to him. When you slide over, he pulls you in tighter to his body and you fit like you always belonged there with him.Â
If you thought he was physically affectionate when he was pretending, itâs nothing compared to now that he knows youâre both in this. He has one hand running along your arm or the other along your thigh. Sometimes he reaches out to take one of your hands. Other times he presses kisses into your hair. Itâs pretty clear right away that heâs not paying much attention to the show.Â
If youâre being honest, youâre not really either.
Everything is distracting. The way his fingers on the bare skin of your arm raises goosebumps. The way his kiss in your hair makes your eyes close in appreciation. The way he squeezes your thigh and short circuits your brain.Â
You canât help it. You turn your head so that you can look at him. He caresses your cheek, so gentle. Runs his thumb across your lip. Youâre holding your breath, just waiting to see what heâs going to do. When you feel like youâre going to go a little bit insane, his hand moves to the back of your neck and pulls you in. Itâs exactly like the first kiss before the wedding. At least, at first. Itâs gentle, but full of so much desire. Itâs also slow, like thereâs no rush to any of it.
The position is really uncomfortable, though. You shift your legs so theyâre draped over one of Joshuaâs. He doesnât miss a beat. It just allows him to pull you closer. Thereâs something incredibly intimate in kissing him like this. Thereâs this weird contrast of desire and comfort. Itâs heated, but also a little lazy. Like you have all the time in the world. Which you do, you think, now that youâre being honest about your feelings. When Joshua pulls back from the kiss, you chase his lips for a second before realizing that heâs pulled away. The way he looks at you nearly melts you into the couch.
âI donât want to assume where this is headed, but maybe we should take it to the bedroom?â he asks. Itâs cute, the way heâs a little shy. Like you didnât invite him in to spend the night. Yeah, youâre in way over your head. At least it seems like he might be too.Â
You pull your legs back so that you can stand up. His eyes track your movements as you reach your hand back to him. He accepts it without a word and lets you lead him to the bedroom. Even if heâs seen your bedroom before, this feels different. Youâre waiting for him to look around, but his eyes are glued on you. Joshua even waits for you to lead him all the way to the bed, so you direct him to sit on the edge.Â
Once Joshua is seated, you step between his legs and tilt your head down to kiss him. He wraps his arms around you so that he can pull you against him. Thereâs barely any space between you. It sends a little bit of a shiver as his hands run up your back and back down. The touch is gentle and caring. Like heâs trying to put everything he feels into it. Something about it just makes you feel so insanely safe.Â
Heâs the one to break the kiss again, but this time itâs to move back onto the bed and grab your hand to pull you along with him. Itâs easy to just follow suit and get comfortable laying next to him, bodies facing each other. The kissing picks up when your lips meet again. Joshua kisses you breathless with a passion youâre eager to explore. One of his hands rests on your hip, casually sliding beneath your shirt and caressing up your side. You press your body further into his and capture his moan with a kiss. It feels like youâre a bit drunk off each other.
When Joshuaâs hand moves back down, you take the chance to throw your leg over his hip, allowing you to press further into him and feel how this is turning him on. Part of you knows that heâs still waiting for you to set the pace. Or that he wants things to be a little slower. So, you help him out and roll the two of you over so that youâre straddled on top of him. Putting his hands on your hips, you lean over to kiss him again. In this position, you can also grind into his lap. You delight in how heâs already getting hard beneath you, enjoy the way his hands grip the soft flesh of your hips.
He pulls back and looks at you with blown pupils. âBaby, please donât tease me.âÂ
âNo silly pet name?â you tease him.Â
âNot when youâre getting me this turned on like a horny teenager,â he whines.Â
âYou mean like this?â you ask, injecting as much innocence as you can when you slowly drag your clothed pussy across his dick again.Â
Joshua throws his head back, eyes squeezed shut, and grips you tighter. âYes.âÂ
âSo you donât like it?â you ask, grinding a little more.Â
âFuck,â he hisses out. And somehow thatâs the thing that almost breaks you. Why is that one swear so hot on his lips?Â
Without saying anything, you sit up a little bit, still making sure youâre straddling Joshua, so that you can pull his shirt off him. Your eyes go wide because youâve never seen him shirtless. Youâve seen him in well fitted suits or shirts, but this is entirely different. His chest looks like it was sculpted by an artist. All your attention is on your fingers running along his chest and you donât see the way it makes him a little shy.Â
His hands reach for your own shirt, playing with the hem like heâs asking permission. So, you move his hands aside and pull it over your head, leaving your skin bare as well. You watch him drink you in, feeling almost empowered by the desire you see in his eyes. He pulls you back towards him so that he can get one of your breasts into his mouth. The way he teases your nipple with his tongue has you clenching around nothing. You can feel how wet itâs making you and try your best not to squirm when he moves from one breast to the other.Â
âI need you,â you utter.Â
âI need you, too,â he says against your skin. His hips buck up into you almost involuntarily.Â
You slide off of him and pull your shorts down and he gasps that you donât have any underwear on. It isnât like you were expecting anything, you just wanted to be prepared. While heâs still a little drunk on the sight of you fully naked, you help him discard the rest of his clothing. The sight of his cock springing free, precum leaking out, has you wanting to get your mouth on him.Â
But, youâre realizing, what you really want is to feel him inside you. After so much tension and wondering, you just want to have this moment together. You want to be as close as two people can possibly get. You want all the intimacy and to be able to see his face. Itâs this thought that pushes you back to the bed to lay with him.Â
Joshua repositions and runs a hand down your body. Lets his fingers run along your thighs and tease their way up to gather some of your wetness. Your eyes close as he runs a finger up your slit. Itâs such a little amount of contact and it makes you moan anyway.Â
âDamn, are you this wet just for me?â he asks and presses a kiss into the first bit of your skin he can reach.
âI want to feel you,â you admit. Joshua makes you press a finger into your pussy, but you stop him. Confusion takes over his features.
âI thoughtâŠdo you not want this?â he asks.Â
âI do, but I wantâŠI want all of you,â you admit. âI want to feel you deep inside of me. I want to be completely ruined by you. I want to come together.âÂ
âShit,â he hisses, hand stilling against your body. âOn one condition.â
âWhatâs that?â you ask.
âI want to taste you soon,â he says, pressing a kiss into your shoulder.
The thought of him between your legs makes you shiver. Itâs almost enough to forget that you want this first time to be together. âDeal.âÂ
âDo you have condoms? I wasnât exactly expectingâŠâ he says, trailing off.
âThat drawer,â you say and point.Â
He rolls himself off of the bed to open the drawer. Youâre not sure why you expect his hands to be a little unsteady when he rips open the wrapper and rolls it onto himself, but heâs so calm. Maybe itâs just you thatâs a little nervous. At least, thatâs what you think until you catch the look on his face. It has to be the same as yours, naked want mixed with a little bit of uncertainty. Everything else has been so easy with you, what if this is where it goes wrong?Â
âJust lay back,â he urges you, voice calming any lingering nerves. His voice drops to a whisper, like the next statement is just for him. âYouâre so beautiful, every single inch of you.âÂ
It makes your heart constrict in a way that youâre not really prepared for. It would be nice if your feelings could stop flooding in all at once like a dam breaking. Itâs overwhelming. You do as he says, though, and lean back against the pillow. Joshua gently spreads your legs apart and takes another moment to appreciate you. He canât seem to help himself from running a finger along your entrance.Â
Even though he would fully be within his rights to tease you, he doesnât. He lines himself up at your entrance and looks to you for final confirmation. All you can manage is a nod. You know he wants to hear you, but you canât bring yourself to form the words. So, he accepts the nods and slowly presses into you.
âFuck,â you hiss as you adjust to him.Â
âAre you okay?â he worries.
âFeels good,â you say with a slight whine. âItâs just been a bit.âÂ
He presses the rest of the way into you and then stills so you can get used to him. Itâs really overwhelming. Not just because youâre finally feeling him inside of you. More so because heâs looking at you with more adoration than youâve ever felt in your life. Like this is it for him. Like youâre it for him. Itâs too early to be thinking of love, but you really donât know if anyone has ever loved you so completely. You think heâs probably it for you too.Â
Once he finally starts to move, you know itâs going to be over entirely too fast. He starts with slow thrusts, testing what you want. You dig your fingers into his arms as a way to ground yourself. To anchor yourself to him and in the moment. When he picks up the pace, your mind goes entirely blank. Itâs just the right speed. While you love the hard and fast fucking, thereâs something so much more intimate about this kind of in between speed.Â
âGod you feel so good,â he whines as he snaps into you again. âSo tight and perfect.âÂ
âYouâre so - oh my god,â you moan out, unable to finish the sentence as he hits you just right.Â
Joshua moves one of your legs so that itâs over his shoulder and presses further into you, hitting deeper than you were prepared for.
âFuck, Joshua, holy shit,â you scream out.Â
âLove the sound of my name on your lips,â he manages as his thrusts pick up pace.Â
You want to respond that you love saying it, want to say anything, but the thrusts are entirely too much. As if it wasnât already too much, Joshua adjusts again so that he can press his thumb against your clit. He rubs circles in time with his thrusts and you think that you might see stars. You throw your head back, eyes pressed shut.
âLook at me, baby. I wanna see you when you come,â he urges, his own voice sounding ragged.Â
Despite wanting to focus on the pressure building between you, you do as he asks. Your eyes meet his and itâs that look that makes that coil snap. Youâre coming hard and digging your fingers into whatever you can find to release some of the tension in your body. This might be the best orgasm youâve had.Â
When you come back to this plane, Joshua has stilled inside of you. One of his hands gently caresses your face as he mumbles quiet praises. Itâs so impossibly tender.
âItâs okay, sweetheart, you can move,â you assure him.
âThank fuck,â he mumbles.Â
His pace now picks up to something fast and hard with one of his large hands anchoring your thigh to his body. Your hands grip any part of his body that they can reach and you relish the way he hisses when your nails drag patterns down his skin. Marking him so that he belongs to you. Just as you belong so completely to him.Â
It seems impossible but you can feel the tension building low in your stomach again. His thrusts are so hard that you feel like his cock might split you open and something about it just works for you. You hadnât thought anything about him would translate to this kind of hard and fast sex, but itâs somehow better than you could have imagined. With him so focused on chasing his own high, you rub circles on your clit to bring yourself over the edge again. You tumble over the edge for a second time just as Joshuaâs thrusts get erratic. You do your best to take over the rhythm before slowing down.Â
Joshua collapses on top of you, cock still buried in your pussy, and sighs. His weight on top of you feels like the best security youâve ever had. Your hands find their way into his hair, gently stroking and scratching his scalp. As he comes back around, he presses his head further into your hand.Â
âHey,â you say when he looks up at you.
âYouâre perfect,â he responds and you canât keep the smile off your face.Â
âYou were pretty perfect yourself,â you say.Â
âAm I too heavy, I couldâŠâ he starts and you pull him tighter against you.
âDonât you dare,â you warn.Â
He doesnât say anything, just nuzzles his face into your neck. But, you know that you canât stay like this forever. So you donât protest when he gently pulls himself up and gets out of the bed. Youâre right behind him, leading him into the bathroom so that you can get both of you cleaned up.Â
After getting cleaned up, dressed, and doing your respective night time routines, you and Joshua are settled back into your bed (on top of a fresh set of sheets). Although youâve never been much for falling asleep cuddling, you canât imagine leaving any space between you and him. When he wraps himself around you, all you can do is smile and settle deeper into his perfect chest. Honestly, every inch of this man is perfect and youâd be annoyed if you werenât so helplessly attached to him.Â
And itâs the best sleep youâve gotten in a long time. You wake up with his chest pressed into your back and his arm still wrapped around you. It sounds like heâs still asleep based on his breathing and so youâre just considering slipping out of the bed. He moves in his sleep and pulls you tighter against him, making you feel that heâs semi-hard again. You press back against him, almost testing if heâs really asleep.Â
Heâs not.Â
Joshuaâs hand, already against the skin of your stomach and underneath your shirt, moves further up to your breast. His hand squeezes your breast and then he brushes his thumb over your nipple. Your body responds to his touch embarrassingly fast, which only seems to spur him on. Heâs got your nipple between his fingers before you press back into him again, wiggling your ass against his dick without pretending youâre doing otherwise.
âGood morning beautiful,â Joshua says in a raspy voice into your ear.Â
The warmth of his breath along with the pressure of him rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger has you suppressing a moan. In the quiet of the morning, he hears it anyway. He removes his hand from your breast and you want to pout at the loss of contact. That is, until his hand works down between your legs, roughly grabbing hold of your pussy through your shorts. He runs his middle finger through your folds, likely feeling the way your shorts are getting soaked through already.Â
âFeels like someone might have woken up ready,â he says into your ear, voice sinfully low. His finger is still slowly teasing you through the damn material of your shorts. Somehow that makes it feel hotter.Â
âI wonder why,â you retort, undermined by the way you squirm under his touch.Â
âDo you want me to stop?â he asks and stops his movements.Â
Your hand immediately moves to his. To guide him back to your cunt. âPlease donât. Want to see what those hands can do.âÂ
His mouth is still by your ear, so you hear the dark chuckle and feel the air tickle you. He moves your hand aside along with your shorts as he slips his hand inside the fabric. His middle finger resumes the previous pattern almost lazily. Youâre about to ask him to stop teasing you when he presses a finger inside you suddenly.
âFuck,â you nearly scream.Â
âIs someone a little sensitive?â he teases. Heâs a fucking demon and you would gladly sell your soul so he didnât stop.Â
The way he pumps his finger inside of you is entirely too slow. But, when you try to meet his rhythm, he stops. Just when you think you might actually die, he inserts a second finger. It makes your back arch, pressing your ass further against his now very hard cock. He hisses and pulls his fingers out from you. As youâre turning over to adjust your position, you see him insert his fingers into his mouth. Holy shit. He really is the hottest man youâve ever met.Â
Instead of letting you carry on in any way, he pushes himself up and repositions. Youâre not really sure what heâs doing until he reaches for your shorts to pull them off. His focus is on you, silently asking for permission again. All you can do is nod.Â
âTold you that I wanted to taste you,â he reminds you once your shorts are off.Â
âAre you sureâŠâ you start to ask before he cuts you off.
His head snaps up so he can meet your eyes. âIâve been waiting to taste you for weeks.â
That shuts you up pretty effectively. What can you really say in response to that? Anything you might have said dies in your throat as he licks a messy stripe up your folds. He quickly settles, using one hand to keep you spread open for him, and licks into you. Itâs all you can do to keep your eyes on him as his head bobs between your legs. You thread your fingers through his hair to keep him in place even though you know heâs not going anywhere. (And okay, maybe itâs more to ground yourself to him than anything else.)Â
It shouldnât be surprising that his attentiveness translates this well, but it is a little surprising how well he seems to know your body. The way he knows just when to switch from licking into your cunt to flicking his tongue over your clit. The way he knows when he needs to add a finger and then a second. The way he can tell everything your body needs before you even realize it.Â
By the time he pulls himself up your body, heâs got you nearly panting from the build up. The kiss he presses to your lips is sloppy and a little desperate. Like youâre both totally fucked out. His fingers inside you keep a relentless pace as he hooks them, hitting that perfect spot.Â
âFuck, fuck, fuck,â you yell out, breaking the kiss. Your whole body feels like itâs on fire in an entirely different way from the night before.Â
Thereâs nothing in the world but Joshua and the way he coaxes everything out of you. The way he has you squirting on his fingers. Youâre not even sure if the praise coming out of your mouth makes any sense and youâre definitely not sure what he says in return. Itâs all you can do just to appreciate the moment.Â
You think that youâre going to get the chance to get your mouth around his cock now that heâs given you another mind blowing orgasm. But, by the time you get your breathing under control, you see that heâs rolling a condom from your drawer onto himself. He pulls you to the edge of the bed so that your legs are hanging off. Itâs instantly stronger than youâre expecting from him and pulls a gasp from you.Â
Without even thinking, your legs fall open. Joshua seems to have found a bottle of lube, too, and spreads it over his cock. When he lines himself up at your entrance, you expect him to ease in like the night before. He doesnât. He snaps his full length inside of you in one motion and youâre so overstimulated, but it feels so good.
âFuck me, Joshua, oh my fucking god,â you say and clench down around his dick.Â
âShit, that feels so good,â he hisses.Â
âYou feel so good,â you moan.Â
âYou have no idea,â he answers and starts thrusting.Â
Itâs a complete haze from the moment you hear his skin slap against your own. Every coherent thought leaves your head. There is nothing in the world but you and him and the way you make each other feel. He leans over your body, crowds your space. Steals sloppy, desperate kisses. Praises you constantly and in broken sentences. Itâs all you can do just to hold on, so sore and so unable to stop.
Your hands grip into the sheets around you that are completely rumpled. You try everything to keep your eyes on Joshuaâs face. Memorize the way he looks when heâs concentrating. Appreciate how totally gone he is because youâre sure itâs the same look you have. Delight in the way his eyes get even wider when you clench your pussy around him.Â
It feels a little like heâs using your body to chase his own high, except thereâs total comfort in that. All you want is for him to feel as good as you do. All you want is for him to get that release, especially since you havenât been able to get your mouth on his cock yet.Â
âHarder Joshua, please. I know youâre close,â you beg and he obliges immediately.Â
Even though youâre trying to meet the rhythm, you canât. Itâs too erratic and too unpredictable. So you pull him down to you again and kiss him. Slip your tongue inside his mouth and let the kisses get as sloppy as they need to. You feel how close he is and only kiss him harder. He breaks the kiss for the last few thrusts, groaning as he comes. Youâre right there with him.Â
(Later, he tells you that heâs never seen anyone hotter than you when you come. It would make you embarrassed in any other situation. But, you realize that youâve never been with anyone thatâs come close to him, so maybe itâs okay to accept his praise. Maybe you deserve it. Maybe this is the person that youâve been waiting for.)
Now, you really do have to get up and clean up. As tempting as Joshuaâs offer to shower together is, you donât want it to turn into shower sex because thatâs just not sexy (or practical). Neither one of you can seem to guarantee keeping their hands off the other. Instead, you tell him that he can use the shower in your guest room. Itâs fully stocked and there are still more spare clothes in there. He insists that he should get some laundry going because you must be running out of clean sheets and you definitely made a mess.Â
With Joshua cleaning up some around the house, youâre the first out of the shower and dressed. Pleasantly sore in the kind of way you really enjoy. Youâre sitting on the couch and scrolling through your phone, trying to decide if you want to order food or just cook what you already have. Before you can make a decision, thereâs a knock at the door. Itâs impossible to guess who it could be. Even Jeonghan wouldnât bother you like this. Although heâs been texting asking for an update after you told him you finally got your shit together, he wouldnât show up like this.Â
When you open the door, youâd give anything for it to just be Jeonghan. Instead, you see a face that youâve been seeing entirely too much lately.
âWhat are you doing here, Johnny?â you ask with a heavy sigh.Â
âI need to talk to you,â he says.
âWhy?â you ask.
âCome on, donât be like that,â he pleads.
âJohnny, itâs the day after your wedding. What the fuck are you doing on my doorstep?â you ask, arms crossed.Â
âAre you really going to make me do this in the hallway?â he asks.Â
âI donât see any reason to invite you inside,â you retort.Â
âItâs about your, uh, boyfriend,â Johnny says a little awkwardly.
âJoshua?â you ask because that actually piques your interest a bit.
âCan I come in?â he asks.
âNo. What about Joshua?â you ask.
âThis is really awkward. It would be better if we were sitting downâŠâ Johnny starts.
âMy little honeybun, is everything okay?â Joshua asks from inside the apartment. He must be out of the shower.Â
âBabe, we talked about the pet names,â you remind him as he joins you at the door.
âOh, uh, I wasnât expecting him to be here,â Johnny says.
âIâm her boyfriend, so I know why Iâm here. What are you doing here?â Joshua says without hiding any disdain. "Are you really her boyfriend, though?" Johnny challenges. You stiffen almost imperceptibly, but Joshua must notice it because he wraps an arm around you protectively. "Of course I am. Why are you here?"
âI needed to talk to her,â Johnny says stiffly.
âAbout you, apparently,â you say with your eyes on Joshua.Â
âRight, so can you give us a minute?â Johnny asks with his eyes on Joshua.
âNo, he canât. If you have something to say, just say it. Then you can leave us alone,â you say.
âFine, if you really want it to be like this, fine,â Johnny says. âI knew he looked familiar when I saw him at your parentsâ house with you. It just took me a while. I ran into him at a couple of functions back when I was in college and traveling all around for my dad.âÂ
âOkay? And? Iâm sorry, but Iâm not sure why I care,â you say even though you know where heâs going.
âHe was always with older women,â Johnny presses.Â
âCan you just make your point so we can get back to our day?â Joshua asks.
âFine,â Johnny says, irritated. âThe whispers were that women paid him to come to the events with them. That he was selling himself to them.âÂ
You actually snort at the phrasing. It takes you several seconds to compose yourself. You wonder what the point of Johnny doing this and if itâs his way of trying to keep you on the hook. Then you realize that you donât really care what he does. For the first time in forever, youâre genuinely happy.Â
âIâm glad you think this is funny,â Johnny says.Â
âNot that itâs any of your business, but I know how Joshua helped pay for his education. And like why am I going to give him a hard time over seizing an opportunity? Thereâs nothing wrong with profiting off of someone wanting his company platonically,â you say.Â
âYouâre assuming he wasnât also sleeping with them,â Johnny says, a little stubborn.
âNo, Iâm not assuming. I know he wasnât because weâve talked about this. He told me all about it without even being prompted. And unlike certain people in my life, I have absolutely no reason to doubt him. I know I can actually trust him,â you say. âIt was also years before we met. Weâve all got history.â
âNice dig,â he says.Â
âItâs not a dig, Johnny. Not everything is a slight,â you say with a sigh. âWhere does Gabby think you are?â
âWhat?â Johnny asks.Â
âYour wife,â you clarify. âWhere does she think you are?â
âOh, well, thatâs not important. I just said I had some errands to take care of,â Johnny says and you roll your eyes.
âWeâre done, Johnny,â you say.
âWait,â he says as youâre moving to shut the door. âI know I fucked up, butâŠâ
âThereâs no buts. Not anymore,â you say. âMaybe there was a point where Iâd want to hear the buts and the apologies and all that. Iâm happy now, though, and you canât even tell your wife that you came to see your ex-fiancee the day after your wedding.âÂ
âItâs not likeâŠâ he starts and you start to close the door at the same time.
âItâs exactly like that. Goodbye, Johnny,â you say.Â
The second you close the door, you feel a giant weight lifted off you. You just feel tired. Itâs obvious that there arenât any feelings there anymore, so him pretending he cares as a pretense to see you just feels irritating.
âAre you okay?â Joshua asks, eyes raking over you.
âYeah, Iâm good,â you say.
âYou sure?â he asks.
âYeah, really. I think I knew when I saw him at my parentsâ house that time you came over for dinner that I was completely over it,â you say. âIâm sorry he tried to bring something like that up or make it a big deal.âÂ
âI donât care. Itâs like you said, I did it and Iâm not ashamed of that,â he says. âBut, uh, I really wanted to thank you.â
âFor what?â you ask.
âFor defending me and for saying you trust me,â he says. It makes you a little shy for a second, so you look down.
âOh, well, itâs not a big deal,â you say.Â
Joshua closes the space and tilts your chin up to look at him. âItâs a huge deal to me. I know we started pretending, but trusting me means the absolute world.âÂ
âYou make it easy,â you admit.Â
That seems to render him a little speechless as well because all he does is pull you into him in the tightest hug heâs ever given you. Your body fits into his like a puzzle piece. Which sounds sappy, even if in your head, and you donât actually care. Itâs the safest and the happiest youâve ever felt.
âWhat?â he asks when you pull away.
âNothing, I just think this is going to work,â you say.Â
Joshua smiles at you, that genuine smile he saves for when heâs at his happiest. âYeah, I think so too.âÂ
i hope you enjoyed this fic! let me know your thoughts đ
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#joshua smut#joshua fluff#joshua angst#joshua x reader#joshua x you#joshua x y/n#joshua fic#joshua fanfic#seventeen smut#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#svt x reader#svt x you#svt smut#svt fluff#svt angst#svthub#kvanity#joshua imagines#joshua scenarios#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#svt imagines#svt scenarios#ksmutsociety
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PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4
Behind Closed Doors
Your admiration of his vest leads you to an empty office with his face buried between your thighsâand an urgent Emily demanding your whereabouts.
Warnings: (18+ MDNI) soft!dom spence (are we even surprised), fingering, oral sex (f), semi-public, slight overstimulation, and Emily kind of overhears because she calls Reader in the middle of the deed (oops). 5k words
A/n: I donât have any excuse for this one, I just wanted to rewrite this scene of him because looking at it is not enough
You heard him before you saw him. It wasn't his voice per se, but the distinct sound of rapid shots cutting through the air. The noise seemed to intensify as you stepped into the control room, almost overbearing, but you'd long since grown used to its piercing sound.
"Is that Reid?" You asked, your polished boots echoing into the confined space. The officer monitoring him through the surveillance camera glanced over at you, and even though her expression didn't betray outright displeasure, you could hear a subtle edge in her voice.
"Agent Y/L/N," she greeted, her eyes darting between the rows of monitors, then to you, and finally settling on the clipboard in her hand. "You're not supposed to be here."
"Actually, I am. Itâs Tuesday, my usual training day.â
"Not for another hour."
"I know," you countered, holding up your wrist to check your watch. "But I have some spare time, thought Iâd come by early."
âIâm afraid itâs occupied right now. Agent Reid is still in the middle of his test."
This caught your attention. "What test?"
She glanced at you, her expression conflicted. "It's just a routine evaluation."
"He's currently not an active agent," you pointed out. It hadnât been too long since his release from prison. It didnât make any sense for him to go through an evaluation, not when he was behind bars for the past few weeks. Then recognition dawned on your face. "He's being evaluated to rejoin the team, isn't he?"
"I... I'm not at liberty to discuss that," she replied. Her gaze faltered momentarily before she nodded slowly, confirming your suspicions. "But yes, it's standard procedure for agents returning from extended leave."
"Oh wowâokay," you responded, absorbing the information. Your eyes flickered towards the monitor. "How's he doing?"
Her lips formed a thoughtful line before she answered, "Like the second coming of Wyatt Earp."
You let out a laugh, finding the comparison amusing. You'd known Spencer for what, three, four years? While he wasn't bad with firearms, comparing him to a historical figure like Wyatt Earp seemed a bit exaggerated. However, as you watched him through the monitors, despite your initial skepticism, you couldn't deny the truth in her words.
You had witnessed him handle a gun countless times, but always in situations where there was a real threat, where you both had to be on high alert. Yet as you observed him now from a different perspective, it was hard to tear your eyes away. It was as if he was in his element, and Spencer Reid in his element never looked so... attractive?
Now that wasn't an exaggeration. Although you had never admitted this to anyoneâgod forbid what your teammates would sayâthere was an undeniable charm to the confidence he exuded. While Spencer had always been attractive, there was something different about the way he handled the gun.
You were sure it had something to do with his time in prison. After all, who wouldn't be affected by such a daunting place, especially when you werenât supposed to be there in the first place? Yet, surprisingly, Spencer seemed to be coping better than you expected. Despite the toll it must have taken on him, it was evident that his experiences had shaped him, perhaps more than he let on.
Although he was still the same sweet, adorable guy you considered one of your closest friends. But you weren't sure your current observation of him fitted the typical definition of friendship⊠because there was nothing remotely friendly about the thoughts running in your head right now.
Not only was it not friendly, but it wasn't exactly innocent. Because look at him. Look at the way he was gripping the gun, his arms defined beneath his rolled-up sleeves. Look at the way his protective glasses covered his face, the black-rimmed frames accentuating his handsome features. And even though you had seen him wear the uniform vest countless times, somehow it was undeniably distracting the way it hugged his chest.Â
Yepâthere was nothing remotely friendly about how you wanted to climb up the man.
A sudden buzz echoed in the room, snapping you to reality. You glanced up and noticed the officer you were talking to entering the monitor screen and it dawned on you that you had been so distracted by your thoughts that you hadn't realized she had left the control room.
"I'll send the results to the review board this evening," the officer's voice resonated from the screen.
"Did I do okay?" His voice came through.
"Like the second coming of Wyatt Earp," she replied, echoing her earlier assessment. Her gaze shifted to the printed cardboard image of a man, supposedly representing the Unsub, which was shredded right around the face. "Or... Al Capone, maybe."
You observed Spencer's slight nod as she turned and walked out of the screen. Quickly, you exited the control room and met her in the hallway.
"Agent Y/L/N," she called out as she spotted you. "You can have the room in five minutesâ"
"I need to reschedule."
Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Reschedule?"
"Uh... yes, something urgent came up," you replied, trying to keep your tone casual.
She regarded you for a moment before nodding. "Alright, just let me know when you want to reschedule."
"I will, thank you," you said quickly. Sensing her lingering gaze, you added, "Oh, I'm just waiting for Reid. I need his help on... something."
A faint smile played on her lips, though she didn't press further. "Of course, I'll leave you to it then."Â
With a nod, she turned and walked away just as the door at the end of the hallway opened, revealing Spencer emerging from the room. His eyes met yours in confusion, and you could sense his curiosity as he approached you.
"Hey," he greeted. "What are you doing here?"
You cocked your head to the side.
What were you doing here?Â
You took a moment to gather your thoughts before offering a shrug. "Just passing by, I guess."
His brow furrowed slightly as if he sensed there was more to your answer than you were letting on. "Alright," he said, though his curiosity lingered in his gaze.
You shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny, suddenly feeling the need to change the subject. "So, how did the evaluation go?"
"So you've heard.â
"Yeah," you confirmed, starting to walk down the hallway as he stepped in pace beside you. "I can't wait for you to be back on the team. Officially, that is."
"If they let me back on the team."
"Of course they will," you reassured him, your hand finding its place on his shoulder, offering support. "You're more than qualified."
He sighed, and you tried not to notice the subtle movement of his vest across his chest, or how it shifted under your touch. "You think so?"
"I know so," you affirmed, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Trust me, they'll definitely bring you back."
He stopped his pace, and so did you, before his eyes flickered towards your hand on his shoulder. He must've sensed something different, considering you weren't exactly the type of person who liked physical contact. Neither of you were, actually. While Spencer was known for his aversion to germs, you simply preferred maintaining a certain level of personal space.
"Seriously," he wondered, his tone laced with curiosity. "What are you doing down here?"
You cleared your throat. "I told you, I was just passing by."
"Really? Is that why you're talking to me instead of going through your usual training?" he pressed on. "It's Tuesday. I'm well aware of your schedule."
Damn him and his eidetic memory. You shifted away from his gaze. "Can't a girl just choose to have a chat with a friend?"
"You chose me over your scheduled routine?â his lips curved into a subtle smile. âAm I that much of a distraction?â
Yes, that damn vest is distracting me.
"Distraction might be a bit strong,â you replied, the lie sounding feeble even to your own ears.
"So youâre admitting Iâm slightly distracting?"
"I never said that.â
Spencer leaned in and you felt the heat of his proximity radiating from his body. "But you didn't deny it either.â
You felt a faint blush creep onto your cheeks as you realized the shift in his tone. Dare you say he was... flirting with you? Or was it just your imagination running wild? From the corner of your eye, you caught the subtle way he licked his lips, and without meaning to, your own gaze was drawn to the movement.
It was a habit of his, one you'd observed countless times before whether it was out of concentration or a mere reflex. But seeing it up close now, the way his tongue traced the curve of his bottom lip, was driving you insane.
You swallowed hard. This was not friendly behavior. A friend wouldn't be imagining what it would feel like to have his tongue on your lips instead.
"Y/N?"
Your face felt hot as you met his gaze. "I..."
Before you could respond, the sound of laughter and chatter from down the hallway reached your ears. You heard Penelope's unmistakable giggle with JJ's animated voice, and suddenly your instinct took over. Without a second thought, you reached out and grabbed Spencerâs arm, pulling him into an empty office nearby.Â
The door shut with a soft thud, and you frowned, suddenly feeling embarrassed. You didn't want to be caught in a state of flustered panic like some nervous school girl talking to her crush, but as Spencer stood behind you, you realized you were overreacting. The more you dwelled on it, the more absurd it seemed to hide away when there was no reason to.
With a sigh, you turned to face him. "Sorry about that, I didn't mean to..."
But as your gaze met him, your words faltered because he was standing closer than you expected. Close enough that the color of his eyes seemed to intensify under the soft light filtering through the windowâa rich brown, like warm chocolate, with specks of gold that danced in the sunlight.
Your eyes involuntarily traced downwards, from the sharp lines of his nose to the curve of his lips, lingering on the stubble lining his jawline. Your mind wandered, and now you couldn't help but wonder how it would feel having it against your skin. Or how it would feel pressed against your thigh.
Your face grew hotter at the thought.
"Y/N? Are you alright?" he asked, taking a step forward. You squeaked in surprise, an actual high-pitched sound leaving your lips, as you felt the hard surface of his vest pressing against your chest.
"It's just..." You hesitated, feeling the heat rising to your cheeks. "You're standing really close..."
He glanced down at you, his eyes resting on your lips. "Do you want me to move?"
"I... uh..."
His eyes flickered back up to meet yours. "I'll take that as a no."
Before you could process his words, his hand reached up, fingers gently gripping your waist. You felt a rush of heat spread through you at his touch, the sensation seeping through your shirt and you found yourself leaning into him, your breath catching in your throat as his face hovered closely above yours.
It was happening. Your heart pounded in your chest as his lips drew closer. You couldnât believe it, he was going to kiss youâSpencer-fucking-Reid was going to kiss you.
But just as his lips hovered dangerously close against yours, he suddenly stopped.
"Just to make this clear," he began, running a thumb along your side. "I respect you, both as a friend and a colleague. I don't want to force you into anything you're not comfortable with, so if you think this is pushing any boundaries thenâ"
"Spencer," you cut in. "Just kiss me already."
With a hint of relief and a small smile playing on his lips, he finally closed the gap between you.
You never imagined his lips could be so soft. He had the softest lips that moved against your own with a hint of coffee and something undeniably sweet. Those soft, soft lips parted away from yours for a moment before he leaned back in, more desperate, more needy. And when he swiped your bottom lip with his tongue, seeking entrance, you couldn't help but welcome him with a soft moan of pleasure.
He devoured you then, his tongue pushing eagerly into your mouth, his lips enveloping you with a hunger that left you breathless as he pressed himself against you. Before you could fully grasp what was happening, you were walking backward until your back collided with the solid surface of the desk.Â
With strength you didnât know he possessed, he effortlessly lifted you and perched you on top of it, prompting a surprised squeal to escape your lips. He laughed in response but you were too caught up in the moment to worry about whether he found you amusing.Â
Your hands eagerly roamed over his chest, fingers curling around the strap of his vest as you pulled him closer. He slipped between your parted legs with ease and when he pressed his evident bulge against your core, you both gasped in pleasure.
"We should... we should probably stop, right?" he murmured, his voice muffled against your lips. Despite his words, his actions betrayed his self-control as he began to roll his hips against you.
âWe're at work, someone mightââ He groaned. âSomeone might⊠hear us..."
He was right, but you found yourself unable to care about anything else but the sensation of his hard cock pressing against your heat.
"We could stop, or..." you found yourself saying without thinking. Your hands moved with a mind of their own, finding their way between you as you started to unbutton your shirt, the fabric slipping away to reveal more of your skin.Â
"Or..." He prompted, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip yet again, his breath coming out in shallow, ragged bursts.
"Or..." you repeated, pushing the front of your shirt open. "We could be quiet."
"We could be quiet," he agreed all too quickly. "We could definitely be quiet."
You let out an amused laugh. "Weâre going to get in trouble if anyone finds us."
âThen you shouldnât make a sound.â
âMe? What aboutâoh.â
His lips were already trailing down your body, leaving soft kisses as they lingered on your neck, across your collarbone, and then he moved lower, sucking lightly on the swell of your breasts. A whimper of his name escaped your lips, your fingers entwining in his hair.
He pulled back slightly, his eyes drinking at the sight of your breast pushed up against your bra, a glistening sheen of his saliva coating your skin.
âYou are stunning,â he murmured, before leaning back in to place a tender kiss on the spot where your collarbone met your shoulder. âHow far do you want to take this?â
You blinked, trying to ground yourself into the moment between the lust fogging your brain. âWhat do you mean?â
âThis,â he muttered as he rutted his hips against yours, drawing a needy moan from you. âHow far are you willing to go?â
âIf youâre asking whether I want to have sex with you, the answer is a hundred percent yes.â
You could practically feel his smile on your skin as he buried himself in the crook of your neck.
âThatâs good to know,â he whispered, causing you to arch your back as your chest pressed against the hard material of his vest. âBut I donât think we can do much considering weâre supposed to be working. Well, you at least.â
You grasped his shoulders, pushing him away to meet his gaze. âI thought we agreed to keep quiet.â
âWe can keep quiet,â he assured you, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. âBut I canât rush my time with you. Besides, you deserve a much better setting than an unoccupied office full of dust.â
âSounds like a you problem.â
He chuckled softly, his fingers trailing lightly along your jawline. âMaybe, but itâs more about time, really. I just want to takeââ His lips brushed against your cheek. âMy timeââ A peck on your lips. âWith you.â
You melted right there and then. You couldâve sworn you were nothing but a puddle mess. If he wasnât holding you for support you were sure you could fall right back to the floor.
âAlright then,â you finally said, reaching for the buttons of your shirt with trembling hands only to be stopped as his fingers curled around your wrist.
âWhat are you doing?â
You shot him a puzzled look. âI thought you didnât want to have sex right now.â
âI didnât say anything about stopping,â he replied, releasing your hand before his palms slid up your thighs. âThere are plenty of other things we can do.â
You felt the heat rising in your cheeks. âLike what?â
âWell, I guess we'll just have to get creative.â
Your breath hitched when his fingers hovered over the button on your pants. You watched with a mix of excitement and disbelief as he started to undo them, your mind turning into a mushy mess. It was as if every neuron in your brain had decided to stop working.
âLift your hips for me.â
You met his gaze, trying to summon up your composure but you couldnât help the nervous twitch of your lips. He smiled at you.
âCome on, pretty girl, we donât have all day.â
Not only were you melting, but you were practically liquid by now. Your body moved on its own accordâyour hands gripping his shoulders as you lifted your hips, synchronizing perfectly with his gentle movements to slide the material over your hips and down your legs.
He placed your pants on the empty space beside you while his eyes never left your body. His gaze lingered on the rise and fall of your chest, and he leaned in, his fingers trailing over your skin before settling on the hem of your panties. His thumb slid to the front, brushing along the delicate material. Your hips bucked as he continued to run his thumb up and down as if he were trying to map out your slick folds over the fabric.
âLook at you dripping,â he mused, his eyes fixated on the way his thumb slid over to your clit. âAre you always this wet?â
Your cheeks heated at the question. He wasnât even trying to make it come off as dirty talk; he asked it like a normal question, as if he were simply wondering about what you ate for breakfast. But the question alone had your face burning because you did not expect it to come from him.
âI⊠I guess so.â
âYou guess so?â he asked, his tone amused. He hooked his fingers into the material of your panties before pushing it to the side.
âI-I donât know.â You let out a breathless moan when his fingers grazed your slit. âWhenever Iâm turned on, I donât... I donât exactly touch myself just to check how wet I am.â
Spencer chuckled softly, angling his hand between your thighs before gently pushing his middle finger into your entrance. You gasped at the sudden stretch, brows furrowing as he pressed further, and your hand instinctively gripped onto his arm.
âDo you often touch yourself?â
Your head fell back as he started to move.
âM-Maybe,â you managed to stutter out.
"What do you think of when you do?" he asked slowly, his own breath starting to grow shallow as he watched your face contort in pleasure. He observed the way your mouth fell open, your tongue slightly slipping out in the corner, and the way your eyes shut closed. He was fascinated by the effect he had on you, on how just a simple touch had you squirming.
âA⊠a lot of things,â you managed to reply.
âHave you ever thought of me?â
Whoa.
The question caught you off guard, and you blinked, momentarily stunned.
This was dangerous territory, but then again, nothing seemed quite as risky as being fingered by your coworker on a Tuesday afternoon. So what harm could it be if you admitted that yes, in fact, he had crossed your mind when you touched yourself wishing it was his fingers instead?
A lot of harm, actually. One, it seemed like an inappropriate confession given your friendship. Friends don't usually imagine each other in sexual scenarios. And two, you could die of embarrassment.
"No," you replied, hoping your voice sounded more confident than you felt.
He hummed skeptically. âI thought we were past the point of lying between profilers.â With a pause, he added another finger inside you, causing you to bite down on your lip to stifle a moan. âIs this how you imagined it in your fantasies?â
What was the point of lying now? You swallowed hard, trying to think of a witty response to distract from the intense pleasure coursing through your body.
âUh⊠This is slightly better.â
âSlightly? Iâm hurt.â He pressed his thumb onto your clit. âWhat else did you think of then?â
Your cheeks flushed even more. âYou⊠well, um, you also used your tongue.â
The airy laugh he let out sent a shiver down your spine. âReally? And how did that fantasy play out?"
Your heart raced as you tried to find the right words. "Let's just say it involved a lot more tongue action and a lot less talking."
His smile widened, and he leaned in closer, his warm breath brushing against your ear. âThen letâs reenact it.â He gently pulled his fingers out of you. âLay on your back.â
With a shaky breath, you complied, sprawling out on the desk, a mix of nerves and excitement coursing through you. When he reached for the waistband of your panties, you couldn't help but crack a joke. "If I knew this was the direction this day was heading, I would've worn my fanciest underwear."
Spencer shook his head. âTrust me, you don't need fancy underwear to drive me crazy."
He then deftly removed your panties, his movements confident yet tender, like he was unwrapping a precious gift. When the fabric pooled at your ankle, he got down on his knees and parted your legs wider, positioning himself between them.
You watched, anticipation building, as he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your inner thigh. Then, with a teasing glance, he pressed his lips to your skin, planting soft kisses along the trail of your inner thigh, inching closer to your core.
You shivered at the sensation and your heart raced with every kiss. His hands roamed over your thighs, tracing delicate patterns while his mouth brushed closer to where you craved him the most. You bit down your bottom lip, unable to contain the moan that escaped as his tongue flicked out, grazing your sensitive flesh.
This was definitely better than your fantasies, the ones you'd harbored in secret, too taboo to admit even to yourself. But here you were, living out those desires in the most deliciously real way possible.
You gasped as his tongue lavished your slit, tasting every inch, mixing your arousal that was beginning to drip from your core with his saliva. Your back arched off the desk, thighs trembling and when they threatened to close, he made sure two heavy palms kept them open long enough for his tongue to drag over your clit.
You couldnât believe this was happening. Somehow it felt like a dream, but everything was real. His face was right between your thighs; his mouth pressed against your cunt, his tongue lapping through your wet folds. And it wasnât as simple as tasting you, he was eating you, devouring you, swallowing every drop of your arousal as if he couldnât get enough of your taste.
You started to lose control of your mind, your body, your actions. Your hips bucked to meet his tongue, your jaw slackening as stifled moans spilled from your lips. And that was when you felt itâa faint vibration against your thigh. At first, you thought it was just the sensation of his touch, but then the loud, unmistakable loud ringtone of your phone shattered the moment.
"Shit!" You squealed, scrambling to grab your phone from your discarded pants. The last thing you needed was for someone to discover you in this compromising position.
"It's Emilyââ You pushed his head away, trying to hide your flushed face as he looked at you with surprise. His lips were glistened with your arousal and his hair seemed messier. God, he looked so pretty.
"Don't answer it."
"It might be important." With a pointed look, you silently urged him to keep quiet as you brought the phone to your ear with trembling fingers. âH-Hey... what's up?"
Emily's voice came through the line, slightly muffled by the sounds of commotion in the background. âHey, I need you to review the report you submitted yesterday, you left a few details about the Unsub.â
Spencer's lips brushed against your inner thigh, sending a shiver down your spine, and you had to bite back a moan. You shot him a warning glare, mouthing âstopâ before turning your attention back to the call.
âY/N? Are you listening?â
âYeah,â you breathed out. âSo⊠um, which report?â
"The case in Florida," your boss explained. "You mentioned that the Unsub was targeting women between the ages of 25 and 35âŠâ
You were trying to listen, you really were, but it was hard when you felt his fingers ease into your cunt, your juices dripping out, coating his flesh as he curled them inside. You almost let out a whine as his thumb pressed to your clit, caressing in circular motions.Â
ââŠhe's also been stalking younger women."
Your eyes screwed shut as he sped up his pace. His touch was driving you crazy, and you could barely register the conversation over the sounds of your own arousal echoing in the room.
âY/N.â
You snapped your eyes open, feeling a flush creep up your cheeks as you tried to concentrate on the call. "Uh, yeah, go on," you managed to stammer, hoping she didn't notice your wavering tone.
âAre you okay? You sound... off," Emily's voice cut through the haze of pleasure. You shot Spencer another pleading look, but he simply smiled at you with a hand still between your thighs and the other slipping underneath your bra.
You forced yourself to take a deep breath, fighting against the overwhelming sensations coursing through your body. "Uh, yeah, I⊠I-Iâm doing my training.â
You mentally cursed yourself for the terrible excuse. Emily didn't seem entirely convinced. "Training?"
"Yeah, you know, the uh... firearm training? I-Itâs Tuesday.â
There was a pause on the other end before she spoke again. âAre you sure youâre okay? You sound like you're in pain."
You bit your lip, trying to stifle a moan as his fingers curled inside of you. "No, no, I'm fine. Just... a little out of breath from all the⊠shooting."
Spencer let out an incredulous scoff, and you shot him a pointed glare.
âAre you with someone?â
You hesitated, racking your brain for a believable excuse, but all you could muster was a feeble, "Uh, nope.â
There was a pause on the other end, and the tension in the air seemed to thicken as your body flushed with heat. Meanwhile, Spencer seemed intent on torturing you, never stopping his pace. If anything, it seemed like his movements were increasing. Just when you thought you couldn't feel more exposed, another scoff echoed through your ear, this time from Emily.
âAlright, where are you really?â she pressed, her tone indicating she wasn't buying your flimsy excuse.
âI told you I-Iâm doing my training.â
She laughed. âY/N, we profile people as a job. I can sense your lie even through the phone.â
You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes. What was up with these profilers and their knack for sniffing out lies? You were one yourself, but apparently, you were no match for their scrutiny.
âIâm notââ your words were cut short when he stood up, hovering above you. You looked up at him, smiling at you innocently as his fingers continued to curl deep inside you. You clutched his forearm with your free hand, attempting to steady yourself.
"I'm not lying," you managed to squeak out.
"Mhm," came Emily's voice from the other end. âJust come by my office and grab the report, okay?â
Your breath hitched as his fingertips delved deeper, sending waves of pleasure rippling through your body. You couldn't tear your eyes away from the sight of his hand moving between your legs, coated in your arousal with each thrust. You could feel your orgasm edging closer. Your hips moved in sync with his motions as the pressure built, the tension coiling tighter in your stomach andâ
âY/N!â
âY-Yes, Iâm⊠Iâm coming.â Spencer's low chuckle filled your ears, and you realized what you'd unintentionally implied. Your eyes widened in embarrassment. âI mean, I-Iâll be there soon, okay, bye!â
You quickly slammed your phone down on the desk, ending the call with a thud. But before you could even take a breath, Spencer's fingers were back to their rapid pace, driving you to the edge of sanity. Your body staggered under his touch, your hips moving in sync with his relentless rhythm, the world outside the room fading away into a blur of pleasure.
"A-Ahâw-wait, fuckâ"
You barely managed to utter a protest before his hand covered your mouth, muffling your cries of pleasure. Your back arched, your head thrown back as you tightened your grip on his wrist, your body writhing beneath him as your orgasm consumed you.
It lasted longer than you expected and Spencer seemed determined to push you over the edge as he shifted his attention from your cunt to your sensitive clit. His fingers withdrew momentarily, only to return with a renewed intensity, applying just the right amount of pressure.
Your senses were on overload as you moaned into his hand, the sound muffled but still audible. He worked you, over and over, and you didn't even know your body could take so much. Every stroke, every caress sent sparks of pleasure coursing through you, building up to an intensity that bordered on overwhelming.
Your legs shook uncontrollably as the sensations reached a fever pitch. It was all too much, too intense, and in a moment of desperation, you pushed his hand away. When the last tremors of your orgasm finally faded away, you collapsed back onto the desk, panting heavily, your limbs feeling like jelly.Â
Spencer removed his hand from your mouth, a satisfied smile playing on his lips as he watched you catch your breath. âAre you okay?"Â
You nodded weakly. âYeah, just⊠that was intense.â
âGood intense?â
âReally good intense,â you replied with a sheepish grin, which only made him smile. With shaky hands, you pushed yourself up from the desk, feeling a wave of satisfaction wash over you. As you began to dress yourself, you couldn't help but steal a glance at himâor rather, the evident bulge underneath his pants.
âThat⊠that doesnât look comfortable,â you remarked.
Spencer waved off your worry with a dismissive chuckle. âDonât worry about me, I can take care of it myself.â
âHere? At work?â Your eyes widened at the implication. âI didn't know you had it in you.â
He cocked his head to the side. âThatâs not what I meant. Itâll eventually go away if I ignoreâstop staring at it,â he added with a laugh. âYouâre not helping.â
Your gaze lingered a moment too long on his bulge. "I can think of another way to help.â
Spencer's breath caught in his throat, his imagination running wild with possibilities, but he quickly regained his composure. "Go," he said, gently nudging you towards the door once you were properly dressed. "Emily's waiting for you."
Your eyes swept over him and a wave of awkwardness suddenly washed over you. What was the protocol after experiencing the most intense orgasm of your life? Shake his hand? Give him a high-five? You couldn't help but stifle a nervous laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
After a brief moment of contemplation, you decided to trust your instincts. With a hint of hesitation, you stepped closer and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. He blinked in surprise, but before he could respond, you were already rushing to the door.
He couldn't help but smile as he watched you leave, a tingling sensation lingering on his cheek where your lips had briefly touched. But as he licked his lips absentmindedly, he couldn't shake the taste of your arousal that lingered there.
Groaning softly, he shifted uncomfortably as his mind filled with vivid images of you squirming under him; your mouth agape, eyes half-closed, your pretty legs spread apart. The memory of your moans echoed in his ears and his cock stirred in his pants.Â
He sighed, realizing he was in for a long day if he didn't do something about it. With a slight grimaceâand the embarrassment gnawing at him for what he was about to doâhe let his feet carry him to the nearest bathroom.
#behind closed doors#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencerreid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fluff#Fanfiction#gifwriting
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Steve goes to a gay club for the first time alone. He and Robin, they'd talked about it since moving to Chicago, but every time they made plans he got cold feet.
But on a random, rainy Saturday with Robin back home in Hawkins, he decides fuck it, puts on his sluttiest jeans and polo, and goes to the damn club. He's sick of being nervous--he's going to make out with a guy for the first time tonight.
The club is crowded, loud, sweaty, the energy a pulsing wave. He's overwhelmed immediately, but it's invigorating. He pushes towards the bar, orders a beer, then cozies himself against the nearest wall.
He sips his drink and watches beautiful men dance and kiss and play, and he wants to be part of it, get out there, find his own person to get close to but--
What if none of this is for him? He feels out of place in his clothes, with his hairstyle, an old version of himself that doesn't belong in this world.
There's a swell of sound at the bar, and he glances over, expecting drunks or fighting. Instead, he sees a guy who makes his plans to leave slip straight from his mind.
He's unlike any other person there, even within his group. Long, curly hair, visible tattoos, ripped black jeans, a faded black t-shirt under a big leather jacket. He moves with purpose and grace, obviously uncaring about fitting in.
Steve can't stop watching him, transfixed. He buys another beer, settles back against his wall. He knows it's weird, but can't bring himself to care. Not when it's helping him feel more comfortable in his own skin.
The guy, he's vibrant, the brightest spot, his laughter reaching Steve even over the pounding music.
He's beautiful.
The lights flash, illuminating his face and recognition hits Steve like a fist. It's Eddie Munson, former freak of Hawkins High.
Steve's spine straightens, chest tightening. He can't believe--I mean there were rumors about Eddie in school, but he's here, right now, in Chicago, and Steve--Steve--
He abandons the remains of his beer, rushing out the door.
---
Steve goes back the next night.
He doesn't mean to; didn't have any plans to do it, but the clock turns to 9 and he pulls on the same slutty jeans, this time with an old blue t-shirt a size too small.
It's not because Eddie could be there again, he reassures himself as he shows the bouncer his ID. It's not like he wants to see him or has been thinking about him nonstop. No, it's because tonight's the night he finally makes a move. He needed a test run to find his footing, but now--
Eddie's at the bar. His hair is pulled up, loose tendrils around his face. No jacket this time; the rolled up sleeves of his black t-shirt showing off his wiry muscles, the swirling ink of his tattoos. Something low and hot clenches in Steve's stomach.
There's no way he's going to be preoccupied with Munson tonight. He came here to flirt and dance and maybe get lucky, and he'll ignore Eddie. He will.
Steve orders a beer, sits at the bar this time, his eyes lingering on black ink and pale skin. No matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to tear his eyes away from the ease and assurance Eddie moves with. He's so unafraid to take up space, it's intoxicating.
He loses track of Munson when he orders a second drink, his face no longer immediately visible in the crowd. Disappointment sinks his stomach until a voice to his left says, "You better be planning to buy me a drink, pretty boy."
The voice is low, oddly melodic, and he turns to find Eddie Munson's sparkling brown eyes gazing down at him. He's surprised, hides it, says, "Sure. What are you having?"
Eddie's mouth opens, but his eyes narrow. "Wait--Steve Harrington??"
"Um." His mouth goes dry. "Munson. Hi?"
"I--uh--wouldn't think this was your scene." Eddie shifts back, puts distance between them, and Steve hates it. Hates that Munson thinks the space is necessary, hates that he used to a person that made people feel that way.
"Yeah, well. A lot has changed since high school."
"Is that right? Surely not this much."
"Wouldn't you like to know."
Eddie's eyebrow lifts, but his mouth is a tight line. "Have a cigarette with me."
Steve nods and follows him out a side door into a narrow alley. Eddie pulls out two cigarettes, hands one to Steve. There's something about the cold politeness that sends a fizzle of disappointment down his spine.
"What brings you here?" Eddie asks.
"To Chicago or to this club?"
"Don't be cute."
"Can't help it." He smirks and Eddie rolls his eyes. "I moved to Chicago three months ago with my best friend, Robin. I'm at this club trying to explore my bisexuality."
Eddie's in the middle of taking a drag, splutters on the smoke. "Holy Shit."
He shrugs, knows he's blushing. "What can I say? I've spent the last few years learning about myself."
"And one of the things was that you like dick?"
"Looks like it."
'Well, goddamn, Steve Harrington."
"Impressed?"
Eddie licks his lips, steps closer. "Maybe I am."
"I aim to please." Steve lets himself grin.
"I bet you do," Eddie's voice goes even lower, and heat dances deep in Steve's stomach. "Wanna dance?"
"Thought you'd never ask." Steve blinks up at Eddie from under his eyelashes.
They go inside and join the bodies packed on the dance floor. At first, they keep their distance, dancing and laughing with an arm's length between them, but it's not long before they're drawn together, arms twining, legs pressed together. Their eyes lock, Steve can't look away, wouldn't even if he wanted to. Eddie's hands go to his waist, pull him closer.
"You're gorgeous, Harrington," he says it with his lips pressed to Steve's ear, goosebumps spreading across his skin.
"Yeah?"
"Can I tell you a secret?"
"Of course."
Eddie's mouth presses closer. "I used to have the biggest crush on you in high school."
"Fuck, Eddie," he says. "That's so--"
"Weird?"
"Fucking hot, dude."
"Can I tell you another secret?" Eddie's voice is all rumble.
"Course,"
"I can't stop thinking about kissing you."
"You could do something about it."
Eddie smiles, eyes going darker, almost predatory. He leans in, their breath mingling, Steve's hitching.
"You sure you want me to?" Eddie asks, mouth barely brushing Steve's.
"Please," and it comes out like he's been punched.
He thinks the kiss will be hard, hot, but Eddie's hand is gentle as it cups the back of his head, slowly pulls him in. It's a soft meeting of mouths, almost tender. His head is swimming, blood thrumming low and hot and sweet. He parts his lips and then all he can feel, taste, sense is Eddie.
It cracks something inside him, and his fingers dig into the fabric of Eddie's shirt, eagerly licking into his mouth. It must crack something in Eddie too, because he's hauling Steve impossibly closer until his legs have to wrap around Eddie's waist, or they're falling.
They break apart with a breathless laugh, both red cheeked and bright eyed. They don't move apart, instead they dance and make out until the music stops and the lights come up.
Eddie twines their fingers together as they walk to the exit, Steve sweaty and elated and a little head over heels.
Out on the sidewalk, basking in the cool air, Eddie stops him. "Can I--uh, take you for a drink? Or back to my place? I don't--not to assume, but I--"
"Both. Anywhere," Steve laughs. "I don't want this night to end."
Eddie's smile is brilliant, heart stopping. "Your wish is my command."
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#ficlet#fluff#smidge of angst#gay club#flirting#former high school classmates#reconnection#love at first sight#second sight?#bisexual steve harrington#sexuality exploration#self exploration#dom/sub undertones#inexperienced steve harrington#experienced eddie munson#they move in together after like a month#they're obsessed
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