#he's the worst & driest texter /

[bbagelbitch]

Assorted Nekoma headcanons: (just for funzies)

(they've been sitting in my archives for YEARS)

First years:

Lev actually managed to get a girlfriend at one point about halfway through first year, she asked him out because she thought he was cute, broke up with him a week and a half later after realizing he’s a dumbass and a bit of a weirdo

Shibuyama is one of those people who you’d think he’s just listening to Taylor swift or something but he unplugs his earbuds and its like- little darkie or some screamo heavy metal LMAO

Shibuyama has a helicopter mom which feeds his anxiety to the point that he carries pepper spray with him sometimes

Tamahiko has a pet tarantula

Inuoka is the kind of person who’d wear shorts when its snowing out

Inuoka and lev will both unironically do Fortnite dances during practice

Shibayama totally has a bunch of allergies and is a picky eater

Inuoka and lev are basically just human garbage disposals (will eat ANYTHING)

Lev can’t swim

Biblically accurate lev Haiba (gets the worlds WORST sunburns every time he goes outside)

Lev has low blood pressure and will randomly faint when standing up too fast (Kenma has the same problem but refuses to admit it)

Inuoka is one of those people who types in all caps the majority of the time. Every literature and language teacher he’s ever had has told him off for using way too many exclamation points. (He can’t help it he’s just a happy little dude)

Lev texts constant updates about what he’s doing t the team group chat to the point where he’s been kicked off of it more times than he can count. (Usually for talking about taking a shit) (see Charles Boyle from B-99 for reference)

Second years:

Fukunaga and Kenma rarely have actual text conversations but they’re constantly sending memes back and forth to each other

Tora actually has fairly curly hair and it was a borderline afro when he was in elementary school (he’s part latino in my mind argue with the wall)

Kenma listens to almost exclusively video game soundtracks (skyward sword is his favourite)

Tora totally listens to girypop rap (he is 100% a Flo milli Stan sorry)

Tora has asked kai for advice on how to talk to girls SEVERAL times and the information that you should just talk to them like they’re normal people blows his mind every time (how does kai do it? Is he a witch? A demon?

Fukunaga owns at least 3 cats and they all have weird names (inspired by my friend who’s cat’s name is Fax Machine)

Kenma is the world’s driest texter (canon actually)

Also fukunaga uses :3 constantly

Fukunaga and kenma constantly bully Tora about his obsession with looksmaxing and say shit like “he can’t talk he’s too busy mewing” LMFAO (you either drip or you drown taketora)

Tora knows how to braid hair cause he’d help akane with her hair when they were younger

All of the second years used to bite people when they were kids

Third years:

The third years have done group costumes for halloween since their first year

Kai is basically the team’s dedicated tutor (Kuroo is too snarky and yaku is too impatient)

Kuroo listens to western (English) music cause he thinks it makes him seem cool and he developed a superiority complex about it. “Oh you haven’t heard of Radiohead?”

Also kuroo and yaks have pretty similar music taste (a lot of modern rock) but the key difference is Kuroo likes arctic monkeys and yaku likes the strokes (they argue about which band is better constantly (yaku is right, its the strokes))(cause they always have to be arguing about something smh)

Kai also totally has a longtime girlfriend in high school bro is possibly the only person on the team who’s done ANYTHING with a girl (probably one of the only people on the whole damn SHOW)

Kai defo knows martial arts I would not want to face him in a fight

Kuroo still uses emoticons instead of emojis :3 ;D and whenever he does, yaku makes fun of him and tells him to “get with the times”

Yaku 100% repeats what Kuroo says in a mocking tone whenever the opportunity arises

Kai is the type of person to say “personality” when asked if he prefers tits or ass

Miscellaneous:

Nekoma is the most neurodivergent team in the whole show bruh like come on 

(autistic: Lev, Kenma, fukunaga.)(kenma totally also has ARFID)

(ADHD: Inuoka, Yamamoto, (both textbook cases of ADHD in guys) Kuroo, fukunaga) (Fukunaga my AuDHD king)

(OCD: Tamahiko, shibuyama (I just get vibes ok leave me alone) 

(Yaku isn’t neurodivergent he just has anger issues lmao) 

Kai is the only sane one on the entire team

Kuroo is also 100% one of those kids who got diagnosed with adhd really young so he appears mostly normal thanks to being medicated from the age of like- 6

Every single person on the team is oblivious as to when someone is flirting with them (kai is the exception)(girls pull out the wow your hands are so big and you’re so tall all the time and NOBODY reads into it)

Kai exclusively smells like a mix of vanilla and sandalwood and on the other side of that spectrum, Yamamoto reeks of axe body spray and b.o. No matter how many times Kenma tells him that axe actually drives girls away, Tora never listens.

Akane becomes manager of the boys volleyball team once she reaches high school (the first years will be third years by then)

The team all protective as HELL over akane (canon tbh)

[yuzuwakano]

im almost done with the kurona x kiyora one im currently working on (though it wont be out til valentines day) but i wanted a headstart on what i should work on next cause im indecisive hahah here are the blurbs for them ->

niko x rin

I (m15) have a crush on a boy in my class (m16) but i get too nervous to talk to him in person and hes probably the driest texter i've ever seen, how do i get to know him?

kiyora x rin

Kiyora Jins kink is karma and thankfully for Rin it seems karma has finally set her sights on their teams top player.

OR... Isagi Yoichi has the worst week of his life while Itoshi Rin has the best.

[steeltempered]

>  i saw my reflection in the window and thought there was someone outside and screamed

/ to midnight from meredy !

🗡 @sensoriella

Meredy

[ 7:14 PM ]: I dunno what to tell you other than don’t feel too embarrassed, and... Should I be concerned that you didn’t recognize your own face? What was it, did you have a face-mask on?

[ 7:15 PM ]: Happens a lot around here, though. For some reason, I thought that the stories about the campus were exaggerated.

[ 7:17 PM ]: It’s weird, I’ve seen ghosts all my life. These ones still get to me sometimes. Thought I was mostly indifferent to them.

[mrskurono]

desperate needy akutagawa clinging to his s/o immediately when they come home after a long time being away, immediately on them when they open the door to the apartment and drowning them in kisses and whimpering because he NEEDS them. his s/o likes to tease him and let him humiliate himself a little (who wouldnt want to see him all worked up and begging) and lets him get off by grinding on their thigh and letting out little moans and cries until he cums all over and makes a mess of himself :(

depending on how hes feeling afterwards his s/o will either shower him in kisses and cuddles in the bath or they’ll fuck him so hard he cries and sees stars <3 such a good boy

a/n: we all need a lil Akutagawa that's desperate for attention ♡ tags: fem!Reader, mentions of: sexting, dry humping, tearful!Akutagawa ♡ and vaginal sex, mommy kink

Business should never take you out of the city. That is if Akutagawa had it exactly the way he wants it. But that's not how life works.

You're away and he's the driest texter on earth. It isn't until you get him worked up does something come of it. And that something is the worst excuse of a nude you've ever seen. But it's ok bc seconds after getting a picture of his bulge in his slacks. Akutagawa's name always lights up on your phone. Desperate to hear you, he can't even let you respond before needing to hear mommy.

Business trips that take you out of the city mean your poor baby is sniffling on the other end, quiet as you tell him how to play with himself. How to palm himself through his pants. Jerk himself off and those desperate whimpers on the other end. Coming through breathless moans as Akutagawa sobs that this just isn't the same.

You're through the doorway in no time and all of Akutagawa is on you. Pawing for your attention. Red in the cheeks, worked up and such a pissy baby. But he's missed you so much that he can't muster being a brat when mommy feels so good.

So good that it's without a doubt he'll end up cumming in his pants. Poor thing. Hugging mommy from behind while you unpack and he can't keep his bulge away from rubbing against your. Just quietly humming to yourself as you put your things away and Akutagawa is behind you moaning and whimpering. He's a mutt but he's your mutt. And you can't leave him dirty like this.

Leading to the post business trip bath you both share every time you leave town. He's a little fifthly and needs help cleaning all that cum off him. Always leading to you cockwarming your poor thing in the hot bath water. Bc letting Akutagawa stuff his cock in you after all this time is the only way you'll get this man to sit in a bath with you ♡

[vrvzi]

★ PROFILES O2 : jake and friends !

JAKEYBOY ( jake sim ) first year at belift university, it boy tbh, perfect grades and good at sports. y/n’s ex boyfriend :/is the worst at keeping secrets, he’s a bad liar so you immediately know when he’s not being honest. layla’s dad :D

LHEESEUNG ( lee heeseung ) second year at belift university, almost completely failed his first year so now he’s working his ass off to redeem himself. used to be #besties with ryujin, would gossip about girls tgt :( he never pays for his own lunch

JONGSEONGIE ( park jongseong ) first year at belift university, pretty much a rich frat boy. the driest texter ever i think, has his moments though so it’s okay. fashion icon of the school, ppl genuinely ask him for fashion advice

ICEPRINCEHOONIE ( park sunghoon ) first year at belift university, a part-time professional figure skater <3 is always busy at practice so he never gets to join in on group hangouts with the other boys :( it’s very rare he gets to chill out #justiceforhoon <//3

DDEONU_ ( kim sunoo ) first year at belift university, mint choco defender and/or its number one fan. a massive fan of gossip, if something goes down he’ll probably know about it within in an hour or so. teases his friends endlessly but it’s all out of love

JUNG1IE ( yang jungwon ) high school senior at hybe high, the perfect student !! exceptional grades and an extreme steak of straight a’s. good friends with wonyoung, though they do hate each other sometimes. normally keeps to himself and stays out of drama

6FEETALL ( nishimura riki ) high school junior at hybe high, one of the most popular kids there LMAO everyone knows who he is. wreaks havoc within this friend group, i’m telling you - they constantly need to keep him in check. he’s six feet tall !! :D

PREVIOUS ; NAVIGATION ; NEXT

female reader + jake sim !

featuring : enhypen members, aespa’s ningning, itzy’s ryujin, ive’s wonyoung

your breakup with jake sim prior to the end of your senior year in high school was mutual ��� the deleting of each other’s numbers, the loss of contact, everything. you both knew you wouldn’t do good as friends, and with the transition into university being near, things were — luckily — going smoothly, just as you’d both hoped. but when you run into him on campus after so many months of not talking to each other, will things stay the same?

— vrvzi, all rights reserved, do not translate / copy.

TAGLIST (OPEN)

@enhacolor @d1orjay @bakkumi @milkdoie @msxflower @angelcritterz @babygay-stay @woniecore @renjunvrse @yeonfarie @moonchildaera [ @peppermintjake @cloudyjaeyun ]