#he's the perfect jiang tian. no one could ever be him

[athousandbyeol]

happiness and acceptance, old grief, fear, vulnerability and the need to belong; episode 7 recap

oh, wow. this episode is so bittersweet. it's so beautiful and pretty and kind and gentle, but so realistic and painful and jarring and quiet.

i think by far, this is one of my favourite episodes. it's such a surprise to me—i think we're finally seeing and hearing and experiencing jiang tian's inner voice for the first time—upfront. it's no longer hiding away with the shadow under his feet. it's evident. but still so very shy and afraid. but it's there. and it's waiting for the right time to come out.

i have to say, this episode makes me realise that trauma runs deep and long and everlasting. i don't think it could ever go away. and I see that in jiang tian. i see how that trauma has shaped him to be who he is—so closed-off and fragile and fearful—but still so gentle and loving and appreciative and attentive.

there's something in the way benjamin is as an actor—i can't compliment him enough. it's difficult to pull off these intricate yet believable facial expressions without being cringey or over-the-top. but he did everything with poise and grace and so much attention to detail that I'm just in utter shock and awe.

happiness and acceptance

something about this sequence... i can't really put my thoughts into words. but the way jiang tian's face morphs from happiness to awe to acceptance? probably, a thought crosses his mind; I'm happy now. finally, I'm happy with someone who makes me the happiest.

the smile he wears when he's looking at sheng wang is of gratitude. and relief. and it's so bittersweet to me how it took him 16/17 years to finally have a morsel of this happiness. he truly deserves this and more :(

old grief

honestly... would anyone ever believe that these pictures come after those stills mentioned before? i wouldn't. because how on earth did the sparkle in jiang tian's eyes disappear—and how did the old gloom of grief suddenly became too blinding? (benjamin tsang, THE actor you are.)

there's so much grief and unwanted old memories and the bitterness of remembering those recollections that were very haunting and hollowing and suffocating.

i can't even imagine the pain jiang tian went through as a child—to witness the infidelity of his father—to see his mother breaking her bones and wearing fake smiles just to make ends meet—to find refuge in a stray cat because finally, someone could understand him. could understand the loneliness. could feel the sadness coursing in his bloodstream. could feel everything he was feeling. and it's so heartbreaking.

fear

jiang tian's fear is so quiet. it's so distant. it's so elusive. but it's there. and it's growing. it has never stopped growing. even though jiang tian tried to push it away, it would still crawl back to him, like a second skin.

and it's daunting how there's a new fear unlocked in him; losing sheng wang. losing the shine. losing the happiness. losing the tranquillity sheng wang brings upon him. losing his light—his sun.

i think jiang tian was so scared of qi jiahao or di zhaitao hurting sheng wang again. because he didn't want sheng wang to experience that again—to fight alone—to be afraid alone.

but once jiang tian found sheng wang, the fear subsided. it's a relief. and it's the usual anger. but not the destructive kind. this time, it means i care. it means i'm so worried. it means don't ever do that again. it means don't ever leave me.

vulnerability

it's so mental to me how this episode finally brings forward jiang tian's feeling to the spotlight. we could see him slowly becoming more open, especially with sheng wang.

it hurts me so much when jiang tian could only look at sheng wang tying the bracelet around his wrist. he didn't say anything. he was just looking. because jiang tian didn't know what to say. he didn't know if words could ever describe how much this moment meant to him—how sheng wang meant to him.

so he could only watch. he has always been watching sheng wang from a distance. but this time, he could watch sheng wang from a distance close enough to be assured that sheng wang won't stray too far from his orbit. sheng wang would be there—here. and jiang tian would finally meet him halfway.

"suddenly i feel that you're about my age."

sheng wang was coming for my life when he said this. it felt like a sucker punch straight in the face. Lord.

it's so heartbreaking because i do understand the meaning behind sheng wang's comment. i guess, even to sheng wang, jiang tian felt like someone older—a brother, a father, a friend, a protector, a saviour.

it feels nice to hear sheng wang saying this to jiang tian. it's assuring too. somehow, it's a reminder to jiang tian that he's still young. he doesn't have to grow up before the right age. he doesn't have to be an adult between them. he doesn't have to carry the burden alone. jiang tian doesn't have to do all these alone. he has sheng wang now. they can be kids or grown-ups or whatever—together.

(my heart was twisting and turning in my chest when I watched this... and I ended up crying...)

a sense of belonging

these stills are enough to explain the depth of their budding relationship. the reliance. the trust. the love. so much love and respect and desire and need and greed to be each other's protectors.

sheng wang just said everything i hoped he said at one point in this story. and I'm so glad that his words were so true and honest and beautiful.

"for everything you did to me, i'll do the same for you. I'll be here, with and for you."

i adore how both of them are brave to take the next step together. and I like how sheng wang was the one suggesting this move-in. i think it's so important for his character because he has always been beating around the bush—he has always made jiang tian guess what he wanted. but this moment right here, he was being straightforward and resolute and firm.

move in with me. it'll be only us there. it'll be our own little world. it can be your world. and your world is my world.

and the way jiang tian was looking at sheng wang with so much hope and relief and happiness and gratitude............ i'm bawling :(((

final thoughts

i absolutely adore this episode because i feel like it's a reset for the second half of the series. it feels more intimate, in a sense that we're finally getting into jiang tian's backstory (that will definitely kill me in future episodes) and the beautiful transformation of their love story. it's so bittersweet and I can't help but sympathise with jiang tian and sheng wang.

i'm certain the next episodes won't be rainbows and sunshine, but it also won't be only rain clouds and thunderstorms. I'm just so, so glad that episode seven, the second portion of the drama, started off with something very vulnerable but honest and relatable. it reminds me of how we witnessed sheng wang's backstory in the first episode and the first chunk of the series.

i'm most definitely anticipating tomorrow's episode. i hope it won't make cry the way it did in this one.

(also, shout out to my best boy gao tianyang! don't worry, love. li jia will definitely fall for you <3)

[eden-falls]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime, books, movies or tv series)? And why you love them? Thanks....

i've never gotten an ask before this is really exciting omg!!!!!! i'll start at 10 and work up to 1 i think

10. lio fotia (promare)

look at him! squishy! i love him!

9. neiru aonuma (wonder egg priority)

i really cant explain this one. she's my favourite out of the main four and its not about being relatable (ai and rika are more like me) but just. neiru's vibes are immaculate that's all i have to say

8. nie huaisang (mo dao zu shi)

my fav mdzs character!! (the other favs are jiang yanli, jiang cheng, and jin ling. i love pain.) i thought the way he's written was just genius i never saw what would happen coming. he's also just really silly and funny and i luv him <3

7. howl (howl's moving castle)

my first anime crush!! he'll always have a special spot in my heart. i think book howl is a lot more flawed and interesting (and welsh like me) but i love anime howl too. he's so pathetic.

6. count d (petshop of horrors)

his whole character is fascinating. he's pretty too. i've also had a crush on him since i was pretty young (first read the series when i was FAR too young for it lol). i wish he and leon could reunite one day but thats the shipper in me speaking lol

5. kyouka izumi (bungou stray dogs)

it took me a while to decide who my favourite bsd character is but i eventually landed on her. it's not a super deep reason or anything i just think her cold but gentle personality is nice. she's also my favourite to draw!

4. xie lian (tian guan ci fu)

I HAVENT FINISHED TGCF YET but for him to be placed so high up is quite a feat i think. again his gentle and sweet personality is what draws me to him. there's something going on with him that i dont know about yet and that keeps me interested. he's also so goofy :)

3. noe archiviste (vanitas no carte)

this boy. he's perfect. an excellent specimen. words cannot describe my love for him. moving on.

2. sangonomiya kokomi (genshin impact)

she literally defines me. the second i saw her i knew i would love her forever. she's my beloved.

1. suou (children of the whales)

anyone whos been following me for more than a week knows how much i love him! he's my favourite character ever and i cant really explain why he's just perfect in every way.

im not super great at explaining my feelings so i hope this made sense lol

[stiltonbasket]

a small preview...

this is from chapter 32-ish of Twelve Moons so please click away if you do not want spoilers!!

And the true lamentation in his beloved’s heart was this--that he had been parted from Jiang Wanyin, for whom he carved out his own golden core and called the judgment of thousands down on his head! Jiang Wanyin, who confessed that his core was lost in an attempt to lure the Wens away from Wei Ying, Jiang Wanyin whose heart and soul were both so inextricably tangled with the brother he as good as killed that he might as well have buried himself alive after Wei Ying was gone, Jiang Wanyin who fell on his knees at Pan-furen’s feet and begged, crying save my brother, save him, please--on my word, I will do anything!

Lan Wangji remembers, then, as if from out of a dream, the first dim glimpse of his own brother playing Liebing by his bedside after the whipping, stopping every five minutes to cough up blood as he did so--not from the spiritual exertion, as Lan Wangji once believed, but because Lan Xichen fought until he tore his own throat open when the elders silenced him and confined him in the hanshi to keep him from interfering with the sentence--and then tending the wounds on Lan Wangji’s back day and night, leaving him only to care for A-Yuan and vowing on their mother’s grave that the child would be protected, no matter what Lan Xichen had to sacrifice to keep him safe. 

He remembers Wen Qing’s heartbreak upon realizing that Wen Ning was dead, her fear that Wei Ying might hurt her beloved didi when they rushed back to Luanzung from Yiling that day to keep him from tearing his kin apart in his fury, her steadfast refusal to leave his side even when she finally stood before Jin Guangshan at the Jinlintai, face to face with the man who had ordered her clan’s extinction when he knew full well that not one of them had ever taken a life, or even drawn blood for any purpose save to heal. He remembers his brother spending weeks at a time in Qinghe after Nie Mingjue’s death, sending no word back to the Cloud Recesses save to say that Nie Huaisang had become a shell of himself in the wake of Chifeng-zun’s passing, that he would not eat and scarcely slept, so that Lan Xichen had no choice but to feed him spiritual energy from his own body to keep him from wasting away in his bed--and then, all that Nie Huaisang had done once he realized who was at fault, simply because there was nothing he could do for his da-ge then but avenge him. 

And then he remembers Jiang Yanli, taking a sword through her heart on the battlefield at Bu Ye Tian because a world where she had to endure without either one of her brothers was not a world she wished to live in--and then, in the faintest recollection of his uncle’s silent tears after his father was buried, something his Xiongzhang told him when he was a child, while they cried together for the fuqin they never knew.

When one loses a father, or a mother, they bid farewell to their past, Lan Xichen whispered, under the cover of darkness with Lan Wangji’s swollen little face tucked against his shoulder. And the loss of one’s fated lover, as with Lan An, is the loss of one’s present--the loss of a life built with one’s other half, which must now take shape in another form. The loss of a child is more devastating still, because it is the death of one’s future--but to lose a sibling is to lose all you have been, and all that you are, and all you were ever meant to be. It is why Shufu cries so bitterly for our father now, Wangji, and why we must let him mourn in peace and wait for him to return to us upon his own terms.

In the bed in front of him, Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying sleep together in perfect peace, their chests rising and falling in tandem as the healers finally finish tending to Wei Ying and file out of the room, and Lan Wangji weeps. 

[lanzhanss]

tagged by the lovely: @vanizai ,,thanks

Rules: Pick three fandoms, answer the questions and tag 10 people

tagging: I’m not tagging anyone bc I’m a coward who thinks i’ll bother others

my chosen fandoms: i’ll do only mxtx novels

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Tian Guan Ci Fu

Scum Villain’s Self Saving System

under the cut~

The first character you loved: 

Wei Wuxian! he is the first character (from every anime that i have ever watched) that i loved this much. Idk there’s something’s so special about him and i totally understand why lwj loves him so much.

Hua Cheng!!! his first scene,,,its just so beautiful, i just don’t know what to say about him. The way he talks, the way he acts, all that cool act which he keeps up in front of his dianxia, the way he held XL’s hand in his first scene,,,I’ll just stop bc I know a single paragraph wont be enough for me to describe my love for him (and for hualian)

Shen QingQiu, definitely SQQ, i mean that guys is mood 24/7. The way he handles all the shit going around him with straight face and the way, how, at first he could only think ways of hugging lbh’s thighs lol and then how he truly started caring for everyone (despite him saying that it was for his own good),, and I still can’t get over the fact that he died bc he was so angry at the novel and ate expired food lmao and then transmigrated in the very novel he hated sm xD

The character you never expected to love so much:

 Jin Zixuan and Madam Yu, frankly I ‘hated’ both of them at start and was like ‘why are such characters even here’ but then the both of them grew on me ??? Madam Yu’s ending…..her love for Jiang Cheng??!! yeah she might be aggressive and always compared him to wwx but she did love him (god i can’t believe im tearing up while writing this) and then there’s Jin Zixuan, who was an ass at start but his character development,,,,I cried like a bitch on his death….I still can’t believe that I cried more on his death than on Jiang Yanli’s.. i’ll stop, this is already v long

Qi Rong! and its thanks to jy, it was jy’s influence but boi do i love that trash papa

Liu QingGe, at first I didn’t feel anything for him, litreally meh butttt then came his loyalty and his kindness and hit me like a truck. I love how he always comes to save SQQ and and how he fought lbh for sqq’s body for those 5 years despite how clearly his reputation as the strongest peak lord was being tarnished. All the liushen feels are coming to me, I have liushen attack at least once a day ;-;

The character you would date:

Nie MingJue,, I would literally marry that man instead of dating him (I would date Jiang Cheng as well)

Shi QIng Xuan!! he’s the type of person who would make a perfect bf

it took me some time to think who, but Liu Qingge it is.. i love him sm

The character you’d slap:

I’d stab these 3: Xue Yang, Su She(mainly bc of anais) and Wen Chao

tbh no one yet  or maybe qi rong

Huan Hua palace’s master and his daughter

Three favourite characters (in order of preference):

this is v hard ;-; Nie Mingjue, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian (but i love jc as well as almost everyone else)

Hua Cheng, Shi QingXuan and Xie Lian

Shen Qingqiu, Liu Qingge and Lou Binghe

A character you liked at first, but don’t anymore:

no one

Three OTPs:

WangXian, Nie Mingjue x Lan Xichen and XuanLi

HUALIAN, beafleaf and Pei Ming x Ling Wen

BingQiu, LiuShen and MoShang

[royalnovels-blog]

KOG 326

Chapter 326 - Pre-ordered Spots There were eight major factions in the Canopy Great Country and every one of them was stronger than normal Strong Countries. Apart from that, the Great Country also had other forces including the Flooding Lake Liu family, which was almost as powerful as a Strong Country. However, in just a big country, there were only ten spots. The Deputy Patriarch gave him a time limit of a month meaning Zhao Feng still had some time. Zhao Feng didn’t really worry about the spots, so he focused more on the Sacred True Dragon Gathering itself. Those participating were the geniuses of every continent and many of them had bloodlines or incredible skills. Currently, Zhao Feng’s forte was mental energy and speed and he wasn’t scared of close combat. He had the Water Moon God Peach Fan for close and mid range combat and the Three Flowered Treasured Lotus for defense. Now he only needed a powerful long range weapon. Ever since he merged with the God’s Spiritual Eye, Zhao Feng had placed great importance on long range weapons as this could utilise his God’s Spiritual Eye. In life and death battles with a complex environment, a powerful long range weapon was a must. Half a month later, Tiegan Master finally arrived at the Thousand Water area Chapter. He had departed the second he received Zhao Feng’s letter. “Five Elemental Piercing Crystal… Five Elemental Yuan Crystal… Fallen Meteorite… Mystic Ice Essence… ” Tiegan Master’s eyes lit up as he organised Zhao Feng’s materials. According to Zhao Feng’s thoughts, he wanted a new bow or to upgrade the Luohou Bow. Tiegan Master touched the Luohou Bow’s material and the Ice Lotus symbol with some regret: ‘Unfortunately, this Ice lotus symbol’s power of ice isn’t strong enough for you anymore. Furthermore, the Luohou Bow and Arrows were Mortal grade to begin with. Their potential has been almost fully utilised.” Zhao Feng felt slightly regretful as well because he would probably have to give it up. Of course, the Five Elemental Piercing Crystal and Five Elemental Yuan Crystal could even upgrade Spiritual grade items and therefore could upgrade mortal grade items as well, but this would be a waste. Tiegan Master knew that Zhao Feng had used the Luohou Bow for many years and had a high compatibility with it. He turned around and smiled: “I can reforge the Luohou Bow and create a new bow and arrow. I’m confident that this will be better than the original.” Zhao Feng was obviously happy with this. The new reforged Luohou Bow would definitely be different from the original one, but some special traits would be continued and surpass the original. More importantly, Zhao Feng didn’t need to use an entirely new long range weapon. After that, Zhao Feng and Tiegan master started to calculate the resources and cost. Apart from the Five Elemental Piercing Crystal and Five Elemental Yuan Crystal, Zhao Feng also spent millions of Piramal Crystal Stones on other craft resources to craft the best Luohou Bow. “Hehe, you’re rich. The cost of making this surpasses even a normal Mid tier Spiritual grade weapon.” Tiegan Master was very satisfied with the materials. They had reached a level of perfection. Zhao Feng left the job to Tiegan Master as he still needed to go to the Iron Blood Religion headquarters and attend the battles for the spots for the Sacred True Dragon Gathering. “Don’t worry, I’ll give you a perfect long range bow in half a month.” Tiegan Master promised. Zhao Feng relaxed and directed the Three Flowered Treasured Lotus with Die Ye towards the Capital. With Zhao Feng’s current cultivation and dense Qi of True Spirit, the Three Flowered Treasured Lotus’ speed was comparable to True Mystic Rank experts. Within ten days, Zhao Feng arrived at the Iron Blood Religion main headquarters. Zhao Feng was immediately summoned by the Deputy Patriarch. Die Ye was also summoned. The great hall of the Iron Blood Religion. When Zhao Feng and Die Ye walked in, many upper echelon members within the hall including Protectors, Elder and Chapter Leaders looked over. Apart from them, there was also a man and a woman standing in the middle of the hall with respectful expressions. “Chapter Leader Zhao has arrived.” When Zhao Feng entered, a bright voice sounded across the hall. Chapter Leaders were already the upper echelon of the Iron Blood Religion and many were at the True Mystic Rank. Therefore, as Zhao Feng entered, he was soon given a place. The nearby Chapter Leaders and Elders even came to greet Zhao Feng. Being the youngest Chapter Leader in the Iron Blood Religion, much attention was placed onto Zhao Feng. At the same time, the man and woman in the middle of the hall looked towards Zhao Feng with envy as well as some jealousy. Die Ye also came to stand with the man and woman. Zhao Feng could roughly guess what it was about. “Jiang Sanfeng, Dong Xue and Die Ye are all young genius elites of the Iron Blood Religion. Amidst them, Jiang Sanfeng is one of the ten Stars of the younger generation.” Someone quickly introduced them to Zhao Feng. Jiang Sanfeng wore a mystic gold battle robe and at twenty three years of age, he had shining lights in his eyes that gave people a fiery feeling. This person’s cultivation had reached the late stages of the True Human Rank and he was the number one genius of the Iron Blood Religion. Dong Xue was a young girl with skin as white as snow and she was twenty years old but had the cultivation of the early stages of the True Human Rank. If this was put in the Cloud area, it would be unimaginable. As for the last Die Ye, Zhao Feng was familiar with her. “Zhe zhe, Jiang Sanfeng this time seems to have progressed a lot. His Scorching Sun Blazing Fire Manual has probably reached the sixth level. Only one other True Mystic Rank expert in the Religion has trained to such a level.” “Jiang Sanfeng reached the top three hundred in the last Sacred True Dragon Gathering, but he wasn’t able to enter the True Dragon Genius’ Ranking. Now that his cultivation and skill has increased, the chance of him reaching the top one hundred isn’t low.” The upper echelons of the Iron Blood Religion discussed in private. At this moment, the Deputy Patriarch spoke: “This time, Chapter Leader Zhao, Jiang Sanfeng, Die Ye and Dong Xue will represent the Iron Blood Religion to fight for the spots. Does anyone have any thoughts on that?” The upper echelons all nodded their heads when they heard this and didn’t disagree. These four people were the strongest geniuses that the Iron Blood Religion had and the remaining younger generation hadn’t reached the True Spirit Realm yet. Jiang Sanfeng and Zhao Feng were both elites even amongst the same generation. “The people named to fight for the spots are now confirmed, but our Iron Blood Religion always has a pre-ordered spot.” The white haired Regulations Elder smiled faintly. Pre-ordered spot meant that the person was temporarily chosen as the person participating in the Sacred True Dragon Gathering and didn’t need to go through the complex process. One had to know that the entire Great Canopy Country only had ten spots and the eight major forces as well as the countless factions under them had a hundred times the population of the Thirteen Countries. With this many people, there were countless geniuses. How fierce would the competition be for the ten spots? Therefore, the ten spots needed to be competed for over a long period of time. Other Great Countries, Strong Countries and even the Ten Great Clans would need to undergo fierce competition. They might be held at the same time or close to one another. Every continent was fighting for the limited spots. For fairness, most of the forces would undergo rounds of elimination and those with pre-ordered spots didn’t need to participate in the elimination rounds. You would be temporarily granted the spot to participate. Only when enough geniuses were thrown out, would those with pre-ordered spots be challenged. The problem was, who should the Iron Blood Religion give the pre-ordered spot to? Pre-ordered spots were a sign of strength and glory. It was a spot where others believed you had the strength to participate in the Sacred True Dragon Gathering. “Deputy Patriarch, in the past the ten stars usually took the pre-ordered spots.” A Elder reminded. The ten stars of the Great Country were experienced and had probably participated in the Sacred True Dragon Gathering before, like Jiang Sanfeng. Of course, there would also be new people defeating the older generation and replacing them in the title of the ten stars. “The Iron Blood Religion is ranked by status and strength. One can see Zhao Feng’s strength from defeating Tian Yunzhi before. At the same time, he’s the youngest Chapter Leader of the Iron Blood Religion and rules the Thousand Water area. His status is not to be questioned.” The Deputy Patriarch spoke. Hearing this, the upper echelon’s nodded their heads. In terms of strength, status and tricks, Zhao Feng was top tier. The most important thing was that he was young and full of potential. However, there were also some upper echelons that didn’t find it to be accurate. “There was several factors that concluded in Zhao Feng defeating Tian Yunzhi. The reason why he also rules the Thousand Water area is with the help of Yun Sha, Cheng Mengzhen and Die Ye.” “We can’t decide with the help of luck. Jiang Sanfeng has been on the seat of the ten stars for many years and has participated in the last Sacred True Dragon Gathering so he is more experienced.” The upper echelons discussed. Both Zhao Feng and Jiang Sanfeng had their own supporters. This way, the deciding power was in the Deputy Patriarch’s hand but the blood hair coloured Tiemo didn’t immediately speak. Jiang Sanfeng stood in the middle of the hall and felt somewhat unstable for someone as arrogant as him. He took a deep breath and glanced towards Zhao Feng with sharp eyes. Speaking honestly, this youngest Chapter Leader pressured him a lot. His achievements gave him much fame and he was known throughout the Great Country. His position in the Iron Blood Religion was also high. Furthermore, the Deputy Patriarch also placed great importance on him. “Why don’t we let Jiang Sanfeng and Zhao Feng spar to be fair?” The white haired regulations elder smiled faintly. She understood the Deputy Patriarch’s meaning. Tiemo could easily decide in this situation but he didn’t. “Chapter Leader Zhao, what do you think?” The blood hair coloured Tiemo’s mouth curled up. He wanted to use this chance to see Zhao Feng’s growth. “Sure.” Zhao Feng nodded his head and rose from his seat. He obviously wanted to get the preordered spot so that he wouldn’t need to participate in that long trial. The upper echelon were all full of expectation. Boom! A stage that was a hundred yards wide appeared in the centre of the great hall and it was enveloped in a deep blue semi-sphere. Shua Shua! Zhao Feng and Jiang Sanfeng both leaped into the stage. “Hmm?” Zhao Feng felt his body drop and found that this stages’ gravity was ten times more than normal. All his actions became slow and tiring. If it was a weaker cultivator at the Ascended Realm, they would probably instantly vomit blood when placed in this environment. Previous          Main menu          Next Click to Post