#he's the epitome of 'I'm small and angry FIGHT ME'

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

I didn't read as much as usual in 2024. My normal amount of 40 - 50 books shrank to a mere 32 as I navigated a particularly obnoxious year of Real Life.

Also, I listened to an insane amount of podcasts (many of them fandom related), significantly chipping away at my audiobook time.

But 32 books is better than no books, so here's my personal top five. Let me know yours! I always love a good book recommendation.

#5 Voyage of the Damned, Frances White

I love myself an unusual hero. Ganymedes Piscero aka 'Dee' is one of those. Together with twelve other heirs of the twelve provinces of Concordia, Dee embarks on a ship journey where each of the twelve is supposed to present their unique magical gift. Problem: Dee doesn't have one. Deeply insecure inside, he hides his 'deficiency' under a whole lot of swagger and cockiness. When one of the heirs is found dead and more bodies start to drop, Dee begins to investigate.

While the plot isn't entirely airtight and certain aspects of the resolution didn't sit quite right with me, this was a fun, entertaining read with a main character who's as original as he is relatable. Have you ever faked your way through a social event where you felt you didn't belong? Felt like an imposter? This is your book!

Extra points for diversity, queerness and for making a character with a chronic illness a love interest and giving them their chance to shine.

#4 The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet

How could I not fall in love with a ragtag, extremely diverse group of space travellers and outcasts who are the epitome of the 'found family' trope?

Rosemary Harper joins the crew of the 'Wayfarer' - a patchwork spacecraft that tunnels wormholes into space to connect remote spots of the galaxy. A particularly lucrative job puts the ship and its entire crew in grave danger. But that's only one of the manifold problems Rosemary and her shipmates will have to navigate on their long journey.

In fact, it's not the plot what's important. In all honesty, it takes forever until anything actually starts to happen in this book, and the plot isn't what's relevant. It's the characters and the beautifully diverse and - for the most part - accomodating universe Becky Chambers has created for her Wayfarer series. Humanoids and all sorts of other species live together in mutual respect on the spaceship and in large parts of the galaxy, finding common ground in spite of vastly different needs, bodies or languages.

If you need a wholesome, hopeful read that's brimming with imagination - Becky Chamber's very unique and very smart kind of cozy sci-fi has you covered!

#3 The Warm Hands of Ghosts, Katherine Arden

Katherine Arden, best known for her folkloristic Winternight Trilogy, delivers a darkly poetic, viscerally grim story set in Europe during the Great War that combines Historical Fiction with Magical Realism.

Laura, a Canadian combat nurse, retired after a serious injury, volunteers to work in a field hospital in Flanders, Belgium, after her brother goes missing in action. Arden splits the narrative into two alternating parts: Laura's search for her brother, and her brother's ordeal while trapped in a blown pillbox together with a German soldier.

This is not a light read nor for the faint of heart. Arden depicts the horrors of war in chilling, gory detail. This story will haunt you, like a ghost. And I'm still not sure if the sinister magical element that comes into play late in the book was even necessary. But I am sure that Arden has a gift for hauntingly beautiful writing that creeps under your skin and into your heart.

Extra kudos for queer representation in a historical context.

#2 Empire of the Damned, Jay Kristoff

Who hurt you, Jay Kristoff? Who hurt you so much that you need to hurt your characters and, by corollary, your readers so, so much? One has to be a bit of a masochist to read his books. This series in particular.

Gabriel de Leon is the last Silversaint, an order of vampire hunters who fight against the blood-thirsty beasts in a realm living in eternal dusk. His mission: to find the Holy Grail and bring back the sunlight. We learn his full story in hindsight - he tells it in prison, caught by the very vampires he hunts, dictating his life story to an undead historian.

Book two adds a new, female POV to the story and reawakens Gabriel's dad vibes. It also continues the heartbreaking love story of two of my favorite supporting characters, Aaron and Baptiste, taking the definition of torture to a whole new level. (Why, Mister Kristoff, why?!) And we learn a lot more about Dior and her powers. It is one of the surprisings strengths of "Empire of the Damned" that, while featuring a male protagonist, it gives the female characters of the story the strongest voices.

Just like book one, "Empire of the Vampire", this second installment is rife with horror, blood, violence, smut and profanity. It But Kristoff also has a gift for creating unforgettable, defiant, passionate characters that will weave their way into your heart - until Kristoff tears it apart. And stomps on it. And burns the shattered pieces to ashes.

#1 Bury Your Gays

The most unique and surprising book I read this year. The summary sounds simple: Misha is a Hollywood script writer with an Oscar nomination. When the studio he works for forces him to kill off the gay couple in the season finale of a long-running streaming series, Misha refuses. Then, something strange happens: a man begins to stalk Misha, and he looks exactly like a fictional character Misha once created for a horror series. Bodies begin to drop, murdered in devastatingly familiar fashion. In a race against time, Misha tries to save the lives of his friends - and his own.

Sounds like a straight-forward Hollywood horror mystery? Well, it isn't. Chuck Tingle combines horror with a gay coming-of-age story, criticism of the film industry and, while he's at it, issues a warning cry when it comes to the use of modern technology.

Here's a rollercoaster featuring memorable, queer characters, hair-raising body horror and an unexpected plot twist, all of it chock-full of easter eggs and pop culture references from Supernatural and The X-Files to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Lost.

The audio book is emphatically narrated by André Santana, with cameos from horror authors like Stephen Graham Jones, T. Kingfisher and others, including sound effects in the "script" parts of the novel.

If you're interested in the film industry, in the history of the "Bury your gays" trope and/or a fan of horror/fantasy/sci-fi/mystery shows, if you love queer representation and novels with a twist, give this a try! I don't think I've ever read anything like this, and I already have Chuck Tingle's "Camp Damascus" on my TBR for 2025.

Special Award

At the beginning of the year, I read my way through all seventeen of the official Supernatural novels. After finishing the tv series for the first time, I felt at a loss and needed more.

Now, these books are pulp fiction. They're entertaining but shallow, some of them are very poorly written, and the different authors have a varying grasp on the iconic characters featured in the tv show. But for those (like me) who love Sam and Dean Winchester and just can't get enough of them, the book series offers a few more adventures with our two monster-hunting brothers, in true monster-of-the-week fashion, set between seasons one through twelve. (Fair warning, though: Most of the books spend way too much time on original side characters and not enough on Sam and Dean.)

And while a lot of Supernatural fan fiction is much better than these books (I'm serious; the Spn fandom has many amazing writers!), I enjoyed my additional time with the boys - or at least enjoyed correcting the writers loudly and exasperatedly while reading. (Dean's eyes are green, people! Green!)

Best books of the serious, IMHO:

Coyote's Kiss

Fresh Meat

Joyride

Worst books of the series:

Hear of the Dragon (barely any Sam & Dean in it)

One Year Gone (terrible, terrible writing style and OOC characters although written by Eric Kripke's assistant - who should really know her stuff better)

Alright, your turn: Tell me your top 5 reads of the year! I want to know!

[aannonn]

Talking about the ColorGang! because thinking about them makes me happy;3333

aaand because I have no ideas what to do lol (+ I want to do a lil' bit of character study! Even though I'm kind of bad at analyzing things.. xD)

This will also contain some headcanons that I have for them btw! ;3

- ,, // Next Part ! \\ ,, -

1. Forgiving

They are all so forgiving it's insane.

Like- I get it. Both Purple and King had a tough childhood/was still in terrible grief which made them do the things that they do, but that doesn't justify their actions????

They are legit really forgiving towards someone who abandoned two(2) of them to die and betrayed them twice + towards someone who almost destroyed an entire dimension and almost got them all erased from existence...

(I have no hatred towards Purple or King, btw!! I love them;33 /gen i just don't really agree with their past actions ofc)

This whole "forgiving" thing makes me think that they would probably forgive The Dark Lord, too... (After some very well-deserved apologies, of course loll and if he's still alive- uh)

Actually, though; I have some doubts about that, but who knows.

Honestly, I think them being really forgiving kinda makes sense to their characters... In a way.

I mean- RYGB were all created for the sole purpose to fight. They are the 'fighting stickfigures', which means that they probably have no other choice but to forgive and move on.

What's the point of holding a grudge, after all? They are just gonna punch and kick each other repeatedly without pauses nor breaks anyway.

I think it's just.. A habit, or part of their codes, or they just feel like they don't really have a choice. (Old habits are hard to break)

Orange probably just goes along with them… Or, perhaps, his truce with Alan has made him more open to forgiving? Purple betrayed them twice and King almost destroyed an entire dimension, but I don't think any of that compares to the pain of having his friends deleted (literally killed) without any mercy nor remorse shown.

Perhaps it was the influence of his friends' forgiving nature, or it was just the truce he had made with Alan that made him more open to forgive and move on.

They are all so quick to forgive and move on.. It's a nice character trait but also pretty much a flaw.

Being able to forgive and move on it's great, but when you are so easily forgiving...

Good thing King and Purple actually genuinely changed for the better- (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

2. Bond!

Their bond is literally my favorite comfort thing in the whole world... ❤

Like- They are so close. So comfortable with each other. So huggy and clingy and happy and loving and caring and silly and so. sticking. casual-

They are literally the very epitome of Found Family.

And, even if I do ship PolySticks a whole bunch, I prefer much more their Found Family bond, to be honest. ❤ They give me so many siblings vibes aaa They are such a family, honestlyy.

Orange has known them since it's creation. RYGB have known each other since their creation. And, even then, they are all still together and as close as before even after so long. (And, I must say; they keep getting closer and closer as time goes by.)

They are all like a small lil' family; A family that, even after many fights, would never hold a grudge towards each other for too long.

They are like siblings who fight and compete and may be angry at each other at certain times, but who will still do anything to protect the other because they love and care and are a family.

I also like to think that the whole Animation vs Minecraft series is really what really brought them all together to have a really close and loving bond. It's already quite noticeable that, with each passing AvM season, their bond becomes stronger and they become even closer and protective than before.

If we compare their friendship in previous seasons vs now, you can see that their friendship has developed and each of them has grown a lot since then. (so proud of them aaaa)

Their bond is just.. ❤❤❤

3. Each Different Bond!

Can we just talk for a moment about how adorable Yellow and Blue's friendship is?? They are literally so- aAAaaaAA

I fully understand why a big part of the fandom ships them, to be honest... They are so close and affectionate and literally understands each other the most. They are very often always seen together, either just doing their own lil' things, enjoying each other's presence, or going through adventures together. ❤

The thing that makes me happy the most is; Their bond is not meant to be necessarily taken as romantic. It can very well vary of each person's own perspective of their relationship and I absolutely love that.

You view them as siblings? Awesome! Their relationship could very well be from very close siblings; maybe even twins! (Gotta love some healthy sibling relationship rep. too fr fr)

You view them as romantic? Incredible! They are so loving and affectionate, that if they were dating they would be the cutest couple in the world. /vpos

You view them as best friends? Amazing! Having a best friend is like finding a long-lost part of yourself; Kinda like a sibling, maybe even a twin. The relationship of best friends is really something very special. Their relationship genuinely gives me the vibes of 2 best friends, to be honest. (Especially since my friendship with my bffs is pretty similar to those 2's relationship. ;3)

Should I also say that these two are the ones who bring the group the most comfort?? Yellow is always the one who comforts Blue, and Blue is also seen comforting others as well. (Green!!)

They are both like the parents of the group, always being there for their friends and being a shoulder to lean on.

They are so comforting and literally the cutest duo ever... I love them sm❤

Oh! And I cannot forget about Green & Orange's friendship, too!!

They are canonly confirmed to be the closest out of their group of friends, and words literally cannot tell you how happy I was once I heard about this information. xD

They vibe with each other so well; Honestly speaking, Green can vibe with literally anyone so well. lol

They are both pretty chill, and very passionate about their favorite things; (Art! Music!) They are so equally competitive, too.

Their friendship is so cute and casual. <33 They are not as affectionate with each other as much as Yellow and Blue are, but that doesn't make their friendship any less healthy or adorable.

Their friendship is, to be honest… pretty lighthearted to the soul, honestly. I love when they're both on screen doing things together, because their friendship is so…

I don't know. There are no words to properly describe how I feel about their friendship. xD

But their bond probably has to be my second favorite (Yellow&Blue being my first!) They vibe so well together, their personalities mesh so well, and they're just so casual and relaxed and so passionate-

Both are artists, it's worth remembering! Of course, they are not the same types of artists; One is an artist while the other is a musician, but it's still something in common.

And with that in mind… I like to think that when Green isn't disturbing Orange with his loud music at three(3) in the morning and/or Orange working with Alan, I like to think that they both help each other with their passions.

(Orange canonically knows how to play guitar, and Green is quite meticulous, so that's a bonus! Orange helping Green write a song and/or Green helping Orange with the art block by giving him ideas for sets, details, etc.... ❤)

Their friendship is so cute and lighthearted aaa i love them ❤❤❤

Red and Reuben... Just. Adorable. ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

Honestly, Red's friendship with all of his animals is adorable; It's like she's a big sibling to them, in a way.

There's not much to say about these two's friendship, unfortunately… Since Reuben doesn't appear as much as he used to. :'v

But their bond in previous seasons was just so heartwarming. &lt;3

1. Trust Issues

A random thing that I thought of while listening to Bad Feeling (Oompa Loompa) - Jagwar Twin, but..

What if, after that whole AvA4 fiasco, RYGB decided not to trust Orange, Alan, or even the outside of their website because they were afraid of being deleted again.

Like- Think about this; They just met Orange; From the way they acted at first, they had certainly never left their website before (or, at least, had never entered computer territory before).

And right after they left their website - probably the only place they knew and were familiar with…

They were immediately deleted. Ended Process. Dead.

And with that… I think that's reason enough for them to be at least a little skeptical about Orange, right? (About Orange and especially Alan.)

After all.. Orange is the one who introduced them to the outside. Orange is the one who brought them out. Granted, Orange obviously didn't intend to get them deleted, but it's not like they knew that. It's not like the fact that they were killed for some reason could suddenly be forgotten just because they were revived.

And, with that thought in mind… I like to think that Green was the first to forgive and give Orange a second (heheh) chance, since they both hugged before he was deleted, and they both canonically have the closest bond. (Maybe that's why they are the closest? Because Green was the first one to see Orange's side and give them a second chance, which later led for them to have a very close bond.)

And also because Green is definitely the one most inclined to give people(sticks) a second chance, hear their side of the story and be the first to forgive them. (GrapeDuo moment!! xd)

They slowly, but carefully and certainly. started trusting Orange and leaving their website more (Until it got to the point where they literally live on their PC now, instead of their website. Probably because of flash ending in 2020-)

That's such a headcanon I will forever embrace. It's character development right there and I love it.

2. Genders & Pronouns!

Hmm! Not really that important, but I like to headcanon them with some genders & pronouns... It's just- really fun and makes them a lil' more relatable, I think..? xD

So!

! . Orange Agender ; (He/They/It)

! . Blue BiGender (It/They/She/He)

! . Red Juxera (She/Them/He)

! . Green TransMale (He/Him)

! . Yellow ApaGender (He/It)

3. PolySticks

Is it just me or shipping PolySticks just hits different than shipping other ships...?

Like. They are all so canonly affectionate and loving and caring towards each other that it's just so- casual. Inconsequential. The love is there.. It's there and it's not a big deal.

Shipping PolySticks just hits different because there is no things being changed nor removed, they all love each other and shipping them would just make that type of love different, but the love is still there and it's inconsequential and it just. hits so much different.

They are just a small group of friends who is really casually affectionate and loving towards each other, shipping them feels like it didn't change anything, it's just that it's all romantic now. Shipping them hits different, but It didn't make anything different at the same time.

They are just a small group of friends who definitely kiss each other's foreheads and cheeks and proceeds to act casual about it because they've always been like that and there is nothing wrong with it. It's casual, it's inconsequential, it's love.

Other ships hits different because there is development there, slowburn, falling in love; PolySticks hits different because the only thing that actually changes it's the type of love.

They all already have developed, they already have a very close relationship, they already are honest, have mutual respect and care and trust. Communication is slowly being built, but it is there. Their relationship is already pretty developed, shipping PolySticks just means that the type of love they have towards each other it's romantic.

The love they feel for each other canonically neither diminished nor increased when switching to a romantic one. They continue to love each other as they always have, the only difference is that it is a different type of love, but other than that, nothing else has changed.

The love is still there, as inconsequential and casual as it always was. PolySticks' relationship isn't any different from canon, it's just a different type of love now. ❤

I talked way too much about my feelings about this ship and now I felt like most of you probably won't understand my rambling.. My bad- (っ °Д °;)っ My feelings are quite difficult to understand even for me. lol

4. Unusual Bonds

Unusual as in like. We wasn't shown much about certain interactions on-screen, you know..? So we aren't much sure how exactly certain duos are like when only the two of them.

And it's- Kinda frustrating- lol (/opinion)

Orange has so much admiration for Yellow aaa and Yellow seems to respect him a lot and when they are both together- it's like they are just enjoying each other's presence and I find that so satisfying and touching and aaaaAAaaa /vpos (they seems to be very close, too!! Not as close as Green&Orange, or Blue&Yellow, but still close! ;3)

Red and Green give me so many sibling vibes- dwklswakljdswa They are both often seen together and they just get along so well and are so cheery and bubbly and determined and- sssighsssssssss /vpos (Their bond is so lighthearted aaa they are just teens being teens arghds /pos)

The whole arc with Blue and Green was sooo- aaAAAAAAaaA(/vpos) They don't have much in common but they still?? Can get along so well?? They are so different from each other and they just. embrace these differences and are able to have mutual respect and affection for each other and I just- ❤ (Never forgetting when they hugged as they were literally ready to die together aND aAAAAA/vpos)

Yellow has a certain rivalry with Green but still cares deeply for him and Green cares deeply about Yellow too aaaa- Unfortunately, we weren't shown much of their interactions together, which is sad. :'v Their bond remains adorable, though. xdd

When I said that Green could vibe with just about anyone, I wasn't lying. lol (They are so different but they still care deeply about each other aaa/vpos)

Man.. How I wish Orange&Blue's bond was more focused.. The latter's abilities always manage to surprise Orange and I think it's so cute- aaaldawsdlçadsw (Orange dreaming so much about Blue being so helpful and proactive tells us a lot about Orange's perspective on Blue. &lt;;3)

They both may not be the closest of the group, but they still care deeply for each other and still manage to have fun together!1 yayyayy /vpos (I feel like this season will focus a little more on their bond and I love it yayyyay (*^▽^*))

In the very few.. Very few for sure.. Rare even… Interactions between Red&Yellow and Red&Blue… Both interactions are adorable, although we haven't seen much of them. ＞︿＜

Red and Blue are very similar when it comes to their love of nature; Blue has a love for the nature world, while Red has a love for animals. I feel like this could be explored more which could strengthen their friendship. ;o (They both also give me vibes of being the youngest ones in the group, so that's a bonus. xd)

They're both also the most emotional of the group… Man, they have so much in common, now that I think about it. xD

Their personalities are so different, but they still manage to have some things in common, which I find pretty nice. ;3

Red and Yellow are practically opposites; One is reckless, the other is rational. But they still manage to care deeply for each other even though they don't have many interactions… Which makes me really curious as to what their bond really is like. (Texture Pack showed that they can still have equally fun together despite their differences, so I'm quite curious to see more about their bonding! (o゜▽゜)o☆)

Red and Orange… The best for last of course (/lh) ♪(´▽｀)

Their bond… It's a complicated thing. Or, at least, it was a complicated thing; Orange loved all his friends, that's for sure, but if we compare his bond with the others vs his bond with Red… I feel like he had a certain… I don't know. Bitterness? Towards Red.

Red is the one who inspired and motivated him to really want to fight with them, to really break the wall of their website and join their little group.

And yet.. Red is the one Orange gets along with the least compared to the others.

This is why Lush Caves was so needed; That's why the fight between them felt so much deeper and different than the others. They were letting it all out, all the emotions, all the bitterness.. Everything was finally being taken out in this fight.

The development of their friendship is so beautiful and precise. If we were to compare their friendship Pre-Lush Caves vs Post-Lush Caves, you can see how much their friendship has evolved. How much their bond has been strengthened and how much they seem to understand each other a little more. (While their characters have changed considerably since that episode too!)

The lack of communication between Orange and Red was exactly what led them to Lush Caves… And Lush Caves is exactly what led them to have a better communication and an even stronger bond.

I love every single bond of this group.. But SecRed is probably one of my favorite friendship (and character) developments, honestly. ❤

There were originally another (draft) post like this.. One that it's pretty old, indeed (probably made in either pre-2024 or the start of the 2024.. I don't remember. welp) But certain things happened so I just ended up deleting it. lol (I copypasta'd everything, though!)

(And I just recently noticed that tumblr removed the color Yellow... welppp- Time to use this site then!1! xD)

And, yet; My opinion about these dorks stays the same. ;3 (Made some changes during all of these, though! (～￣▽￣)～)

Also!! Sorry for being kinda inactive these past few days. I have been trying to work on other projects, and I didn't really felt like drawing at the moment. lol

Cya!!

lil' edits; made some changes, corrected some things.. lol

[asirensrage]

Oh hey 👋 I'm really interested in your Naruto; MHA and Tokyo revengers ocs. What can you tell me about them?

Hiiii! Oh man, okay...

Let's start with the Naruto OC:

Kei's fic is titled "the weight of all my sins". Kei is in her twenties and her pairing is with Kakashi. The two of them are friends who are clearly more but both refuse to admit it. Kei is (or was ) in ANBU and wears a mask like Kakashi's to hide her scars and help conceal her expressions. When she was a genin, her team was attacked by a rogue nin who basically tricked her sensei's animal partner into attacking her and her teammates. She believes she accidentally gave her sensei's position away allowing the enemy to kill him. Her relationship with Kakashi develops as she comes to terms with the things she's done and allowing him in. It's supposed to be a fic that looks into what it means to be a ninja and looks at grief, loss, sacrifice, murder, protection, acceptance and letting people in. I've posted snippets of it which can be found here, but no full fic. There's also her moodboard which can be found here. Her tag on my blog is "oc: kei".

MHA OC:

This is my girl Sayuri. Her fic is titled Dig My Grave (take my hand). It's a Dabi x oc fic. This is a darker fic that looks at childhood trauma, obsession and what you'll sacrifice of yourself to survive. Sayuri has a strength quirk and has been hiding it in an effort to live her life quietly and ensure no one from her past finds her again. Unfortunately, she uses her strength to save some children from a villain at the daycare she works at...and it was televised not long after Stain's ideology goes viral. Now she's faced with her past coming back to bite her, the League of Villains demanding her compliance to join, and the heroes trying to keep an eye on her. She's definitely angry and believes that the only good enemy is a dead on. There's a better explanation here lol. Her moodboard can be found here and her playlist can be found here. Her tag on my blog is "oc: sayuri".

finally, Tokyo Revengers oc!

This is my latest oc Takara. She's an isekai character, waking up one day to find herself in a new body, with a new family and the memories of a life she's never lived. Needless to say, it's a bit alarming but what's more alarming to her is the fact that she's not as scared as she should be. It becomes worse when her memories of her actual life start to fade. She's a little violent, can be manipulative, has a mouth like a sailor and is the epitome of "call an ambulance, but not for me!" Mainly because she's about 5'2" with an attitude that comes from having older brothers and playing multiple sports including hockey. She prefers to be on rollerblades because it makes her fast, is a bit antisocial and unafraid to fight even if she's not trained lol. She also tends to speak without thinking which is shown multiple times including when her first words to Hanma are: "What the fuck? Did your mother fuck a giant? Why the fuck are you so tall?”

The only person who seems to be aware that she doesn't belong is her "new" brother, Takemichi. When he reveals that he can time travel, she makes the choice to help him. Her attachment to her new brother grows, and while her future (and pairing) changes with every change he makes, she becomes determined to make sure that he survives to see the future. No matter what that costs her.

I'll share her moodboard in a proper intro post and I'll tag it here when I post it lol. Her tag on my blog is "oc: takara" and there are small snippets posted in answers to asks. Her playlist though is here.

Thanks for asking!

[smilepal]

6, 21, 36, 49 for the cp ask game :3

Character asks for @billlybutcher 🖤

6.) Which of the four elements would you associate with them?

Definitely fire--can be feisty, and hot-headed/destructive, but also a warm person (with a good heart--not that they'd ever admit it.)

21.) Do they have any favorite spots around NC?

He has several—one being Viktor’s clinic. Vik was one of the first people who Hiro went to for help after he left the Claws, and he’s without a doubt the reason Hiro is still alive. He’s also one of the first people he trusts—and manages to build a solid friendship with. There’s a lot of admiration there—he’s the one who taught Hiro to box, and provided him with a lot of his cyberware, and the two have spent many quiet evenings enjoying a beer and a boxing match together. (It’s also where he met Jackie, as well.) The clinic feels like a second home, and sometimes he’ll even watch it and give Vik a break.

Hiro also loves the temple in North Oaks. He’s never been particularly religious but it’s really quiet most of the time, and one of the greenest spots in Night City, and sometimes it’s nice to get away for a bit. He also loves the Coyote—good drinks, and very little bullshit. (The cute bartender doesn’t hurt~).

36.) Who is their biggest enemy?

He has more than a few. He's made lots of them, both from his time in the Claws and after, but they remain one of his main sources of conflict. He did not leave on good terms--seemed determined to burn as many bridges with them as possible. It also doesn't help that he stole a particularly loathed bosses bike on the way out, and continues to ride it, rather than sell it. He's aware that he's practically waving a red flag at them, but he's always been rather reckless, and shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. He usually tries to slide under the radar with the gangs, not take sides too drastically, but he makes an exception for the Claws.

49.) Name three of your characters biggest turn-ons.

-Marks/Biting/Control

-Collars/Breathplay/Being tied up/Shibari

-Degradation/Humiliation

Thanks for asking! Had fun with these :3

[starglitterz]

for ; @mooscutely my beloathed 🙄 /j ILYSM ceo of deez nuts and being hword on main,,, not to mention ur one of the og kiyansh simps yasss <3 basically ily i hope u like this hehe >:) <3

cw ; suggestive

"ah, i'm so sorry!" you yell and slam the door shut, the glass clutched in your hands threatening to tip over and spill over you. your hands are quivering, and your heart is racing at a million miles per hour while your brain tries to process what just happened. you had just wanted to pass KAZUHA a drink, the new blend of coffee you had been experimenting with and he had agreed to taste. but then, after knocking on his room door and receiving no answer, you had decided to let yourself in anyway - the two of you had been friends for ages, what was there to hide anyway? that was what you thought two seconds ago, but apparently the answer was himself; you had accidentally walked in on him changing!

archons, this is so embarrassing, he probably thinks you're some kind of creepy pervert. you bury your face in your hands, but your traitorous mind keeps flashing back to the sight of KAZUHA's bare back. his muscles had been rippling slightly as he stretched in front of the mirror, one hand reaching for his shirt, which had been unceremoniously tossed onto his chair. a small constellation of freckles dotted his left shoulder, and you briefly wonder what it would be like to trail kisses across that mark before scolding yourself for having such thoughts. if that wasn't bad enough, your imagination begins wandering to what KAZUHA's back would look like with angry red scratches tracing down it, the aftermath of a night filled with passion. that's even worse! now you can't get all sorts of unholy images to be erased from your mind, and your face is so hot you think you're about to explode.

thankfully, at that exact moment, KAZUHA opens the door, a smile gracing his expression when he notices you still standing there. the tuft of red hair you've daydreamed about running your fingers through falls in front of his eyes, a sharp contrast to the rest of his snow white hair, and you fight the urge not to tuck it away behind his ear. "oh, is that the coffee you told me about?" your roommate asks coolly, as if nothing had happened. not trusting yourself to formulate a coherent reply, you nod. as he takes the glass from you, a playful smirk dances across his lips, "did you like what you saw?" "what?!" heat rushes to your face, and you're sure your jaw is on the floor. "don't think it was free though," KAZUHA pretends to frown, before leaning forward and planting his lips on yours. you're pretty sure you're the epitome of that one emoji with the brain exploding. yup, your system is completely fried from KAZUHA's kiss - how are his lips so soft?!

when he pulls away, he looks at you, chuckling at your surprised expression before winking, "don't worry, i accept payments in kisses." he darts into his room for a second before coming back and pressing a small chocolate into your hand; a hershey's kiss. "and here's yours! we should do this again sometime," KAZUHA grins before slipping back into his room, as if he didn't just steal your breath with the best kiss you've ever had, and then proceed to be audacious enough to give you a chocolate to tease you. you shake your head aggressively, trying to clear your thoughts, an unsurprisingly difficult endeavour, when all your head is filled with are thoughts of KAZUHA's lips against yours - are you really falling for your roommate? as you ponder opening the door again just to ask if KAZUHA can kiss once more, you think that the answer is a resounding yes.

© starglitterz 2021. do not repost or modify in any way – reblog / follow if you enjoyed !

[clairecrive]

“Burn” - Bane x reader [Requested]

A/N: this is for this anon. Thanks again for requesting! I missed writing for Bane.

Warnings: angst

Word count: 2.5K

Taglist: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @sopxhiea, @shadow-of-wonder, @fandom--0verdose, @fuseburner, @kind-wolf, @innerpaperexpertcloud (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

The vastity of the night sky had always helped y/n ease her worries. Surely, whatever was bothering her couldn’t be as big and impossible to solve as she was making it out to be. Because, would you look at that? The universe is so big and we’re so small, so insignificant. and that applied to her problems too. 

At least that was what she always told herself whenever she’d feel lost and hopeless. Thinking this way helped her put things into perspective. And sure, not everything was as easily solved but, even in that case, it helped a bit.

And so here they were, she and Bane were laying down staring up at the starry sky. Sometimes, they would spend it in silence, just enjoying the warmth and comfort the other’s body would bring. Others, like this one, they would easily fall into conversations about everything and nothing.

“Was there someone special in your life? Someone you wish to get back to?”

“You mean, romantically?”

He nodded.

“No. Single for life.” She did a peace sign to lighten up her embarrassment but Bane was curious and did not pay it any mind.

“You mean to tell me that you’ve never given your heart to anyone?”

“Well, if you put it that way I have to change my answer to yes. Being in a relationship with someone and giving someone your heart are two wholly different things.”

“Let me rephrase then. Have you ever been in love?”

She really thought about the answer, her mind going back to any romantic involvement she might have had during her life. Even if she scouted her memories, she found that it wasn’t a yes or no question.

“I guess,” not only was the word she chose explicative of her indecision but the tentative tone of her voice left no doubts as to where she was standing. But Bane was confused, to say the least.

“I’ve always been under the impression that love was one of those things where absolute certainty was involved when it came to its presence or absence.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I have had mostly one-sided crushes, you know?” she started but Bane could see the faraway look in her eyes and knew that she had more to tell but was lacking the right words. So he waited.

“I said ‘I guess’ because I don’t really know what love is. I mean, everyone has a different take on it depending on their experiences but I don’t think I’ve ever felt it,” she paused turning to meet his eyes, “once there was a guy I strongly had feelings for. Even that was one-sided though and it took me a long time to recover from that because he was my best friend at the time. Looking back to it, I guess it was love or the closest thing to it that I’ve ever felt for someone. It hasn’t happened again though so I don’t have anything to compare it to.”

“Maybe it wasn’t love, just deep infatuation. Or maybe I just confused my love for him as a friend for something more. I don’t know. I guess I’ll figure it out when I fall in love with someone else. “ She concluded and refrained from correcting that when with if. she couldn’t see herself being as lucky as to have someone that cared about her and that loved her in the future. But Bane didn’t need to know that.

Turns out that those unspoken words had become a sort of oracle, ‘cause here they were now, years after they had that conversation. Just when she thought that she had found that one person to share her life with, to give her heart to, life quickly come into play letting her know that that wasn’t the case.

Because the man that had saved her from a destiny worse than death, who had given her hope and made her trust him to the point where she had felt safe enough to open up to him and allow him close to her heart, had now shattered whatever remained of it.

"So let me get this straight, first you save my life than you decide to keep me with you so you basically kidnap me, get me to fall in love with you, put me through an insanely difficult training so that I could stay with you but it was all done in vain because now you’re  sending me away?"

"I'm not sending you away but you cannot stay here anymore. I’m doing this for you."

"And why is that? What changed?" and when Bane stayed silent she added, "what happened to 'I want you always' ?"

"I did not lie to you." His words were in striking contrast to the ones he had said before but y/n had learned to read him and could tell that this time he was not lying. But then the question naturally arises, what's really going on?

Nothing out of order had happened in the last few days. Bane and she had been the same as always, even his work had proceeded as usual. So what was it? What was she not thinking about? What was she not seeing?

Letting her mind go back through the last day to fat check that nothing happened, she went through their actions. Light breakfast together followed by a not so light tête à tête then they trained together until he had to deal with something for his work and she had occupied herself otherwise. She had called him to see when she could get dinner started and he said that he had a meeting with Talia first but had come right after. They had dinner and while they consumed their healthy and perfectly balanced meal she shared with him whatever came to her mind while he ate in silence. See, nothing out of order.

Wait a minute...

He went to meet Talia.

"It's her, isn't it?" Suddenly, everything was clear. She knew what had happened, what had changed. And she sneered at the pull Talia had on him. Suddenly, she understood but at the same time, the last year lost its meaning.

"I just wish I realized earlier that you didn't care about me as much as you said you did," turning she went to her cabinet to get her stuff, "I wouldn't have put myself through so much otherwise." 

Nodding, she knew what she had to do. She had to leave. There was no reason to stay. Resolute and defeated she put everything her eyes fell on that was hers in a little bag. Clothes, lingerie, cosmetics, books. But when her eyes landed on the little box where she kept everything connected to him, her heart broke further and her anger was fueled. 

In there, there was every present Bane ever gave her. Every little thing that made her think of him in some way. The letters he wrote her whenever spoken words failed him. She knew that going through its content would equal to a chronology of their relationship. If it was possible her heart broke even more. Everything she did to stay with him, everything he did to keep her now was all vain. She gave up so much for him, for a man. Her former self would be ashamed of her and knew that her heartbreak was contributing to making her feel something akin to that. 

"Here," she said walking where he was standing, "take this. I don't want it anymore," and she threw it at his feet. The only acknowledgement on his part was a tilt of his head but it wasn't needed. He knew what it was and what she kept inside of it. He felt a pang in his heart but kept his face void of any emotion. 

"I'll want you always," she said mocking his voice, still stuffing stuff in her bag and chuckled with mirth, "what a load of bullshit." 

"Actually," stilling for a second, with a shirt cramped in her fist she faced him, "I am the biggest clown between us because I believed you." retrying her stuffing, shaking her head she added in a whisper, "I should have known better," but Bane heard. 

As soon as he decided on this course of action, he had also prepared for her reaction. He knew her well and so far she hadn't done anything that he hadn't expected. And while he had been ready, he couldn't help but feel hurt by her words. He knew how she was looking at this situation, knew that his words had led her to believe it to be so. At the same time, a little part of him wished for her to oppose to his words, to see right through them and see that he was lying. That he had been honest when he had told her those things, he had opened up to her and meant everything. But knew that she was too lost to rage and hurt to think clearly. And it was also the reason why she was acting up and had thrown the box on the floor. He knew that she deeply cared about it and what it meant to her. He almost thought of offering some kind of comfort, to give her some hint about what was really going on. But knew that it would be unfair to her. After all, he was doing for the sake of her safety.

“You know,” her voice brought him back and his eyes were immediately drawn to her, “isn’t it funny how you man always pride yourselves to be strong and all that bullshit when even someone like you, who’s the epitome of masculinity and strength, at the end is totally subjected to a woman?” 

They would always have this kind of conversation. Bane, being a leader of a huge army, had the tendency to be bossy. Even in situations when it wasn’t needed. It was just who he was and he felt the need to remind her of his alfa status an unnecessary lot of times. While she could enjoy this inclination of his when they were in bed, she definitely couldn’t stand it in their everyday life. And now, it made her feel stupid that she had to put with it and learn how to deal with it but when it came to Talia, he just did whatever she told him to. Also, this changed her consideration of him. What a clown. She had tried to warn him about his rather toxic relationship with Talia but he’d always get angry and dismiss the conversation either by leaving or shouting at her. She could remember their last fight about it like it was yesterday. It was also the first time that she had ever doubted her relationship with him. The first time that she had thought that maybe she had made a mistake by staying with him, by falling in love with him. Maybe she should have left as soon as she had rescued her. It wasn’t for the motive of their fight, neither her jealousy and worry about his relationship with Talia, but it had all to do with what he shouted her in rage that made her blood run cold and her heart shatter. For it was said that angry and drunk people were the more honest ones. And since that moment she couldn’t help but wonder if he really thought what he said to her or if it was just an impulse propelled by anger as he had explained.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have saved you.” 

And then, as if that wasn’t enough, he decided to twist the knife further.

“I told you not to fall in love with me.”

As if one could choose who they fell for, she remembers thinking.

Those words still haunted her to this day. It happened a while ago and Bane had made it up to her, mostly. But it was in situations like this that they would come back and mock her for even forgiving him and thinking that he loved her as she loved him. To think that even a small part of him thought that it was best that he had left her to suffer in the hands of a sex abuser until he would have eventually tired of her and killed made her sick. How could anyone say something like that to another human being? One they presumedly loved? She couldn’t wrap her head around it. Bane had then explained that by that he didn’t mean leaving her with her captor but simply bring her with him and keeping her with him. Despite the fact that his explanation made sense, y/n still didn’t think it made things better.

And as for his second statement, it went mostly unmentioned. 

Sure, that had been something he had told her in the beginning. It was after her training required them to spend most of their days together since he wanted to attend to it personally. Y/n knew that being in the military and with his past, it wasn’t easy for Bane to show emotions let alone let someone close enough to him to allow himself to love them. She understood that. She had a few things she was dealing with that made it difficult for her to entertain the idea of something more between them.

But that was almost a year ago. So much had happened in their life and between them that even though the words were not spoken aloud, she felt the shift in both their behaviours when it came to them. Hell, they even started dating. 

Not that any of them labelled it that way. But that was beside the point.

They slept together, they ate together every meal, they lived together. If there was a band on both their left ring fingers and it was a more conventional setting, people would assume they were married. 

While y/n didn’t like thinking about what they had in that way, she surely considered the commitment they had made to each other equivalent to a marriage. 

She hadn’t considered Talia though. 

Or at least, she had hoped that if she ever would try and come between them, Bane would stand up for her. 

Turns out that she really was foolish.

“Whatever, I guess it’s not my problem anymore.” Giving him her back again, she closed the almost full bag and went to put on some shoes and coat. 

“I don’t have any use for it, you should take it with you.”

“Neither have I. Burn it, see if I care.” 

And with that, y/n turned around and walked out of their shared apartment at last.

It hurt to say the words, it hurt that things had ended to abruptly, it hurt that even after all this time he didn’t care about her, it hurt like hell but y/n was resolute in leaving all of this behind her. Yes, it wasn’t going to be easy and maybe it would be like leaving a hot fire trail behind her but at one point the fire would burn out, wouldn’t t? 

It may take a while but she would be okay,

[elizabethrobertajones]

I don't know if you have noticed, but they have some serious clothing issues in season 12. Seasons 1-11 we just had Sam and Dean. But now that there's Mary, they can't all wear plaid. Because there would be too much flannel with three Winchesters. I'm being serious. I've rewatched season 12, and there's no episode where all three Winchesters wear plaid. One of them always has to sacrifice the hunter look.

Yeah, they don’t all wear it all the time anyway - Dean’s always had a bunch of stock shirts which are so boring he can wear them all the times he’s going to get killed or whatever gets him covered in blood to the point that he can’t use it any more :P Sam has slightly more variety, I think, because he doesn’t wear as many block colours in general, wears his shirts buttoned up so Dean can get away with wearing a block colour shirt and t-shirt, and Sam’s on the wrong side of the self-imposed class divide so doesn’t wear henleys either, all adding up to him needing at least subtle stripes on his shirts a lot of the time… Sam wearing boring grey in 11x22 should have been a warning something pretty horrific was going to happen to him because that’s Dean’s choice of colour for “I’m about to have a bad day and I don’t know it yet” which he at least also mixes into his regular wardrobe to add the element of surprise :P

Buuut yeah I bet there was at least 1 time they had a moment where they did all wear plaid and looked at each other and had to work out who had to go change immediately.

Anyway since we have a whole season now, let’s look at Mary because I like looking at Mary :D

12x01:

generic hunter jacket, jeans and boots (workman boots halfway between Sam n Dean’s). Shirt doesn’t look like much of anything she likes wearing, never did find out where Dean got this from for her, because finding perfectly fitted jeans at dawn in the middle of nowhere within apparent walking distance of the bunker?? There’s a weirdo gap where he stole clothes for his mom off a clothes line or something. I think the point was it was white and a little lacy at the top, mimicking the nightgown as a shirt, upgraded for hunter Mary. Easing the transition along :P

12x02:

she’s so SMALL.

At some point Dean also found her fluffy slippers. These are modern fluffy slippers because they don’t match ones we’ve seen him wearing around the bunker which I assume are period authentic ones.

Dean wears grey and black, I guess to match Sam’s nondescript colours, while Mary cracks out her first plaid, AND with a white henley underneath 

she’s still wearing white because mom, and Sam hasn’t seen her yet, but the plaid is the sign of hunting, and she’s officially dressing more like Dean right now. Dean wore red n blue and achieved balance in 11x23 and Mary is immediately the next one to wear it as the next plaid on screen since. I think it’s a sort of family integration theme since Sam n Dean often are red v blue coded.. I like this shirt because it has an XOXOXOXOX pattern embroidered on it. The mumsy version of their plaid :P

Cas is not wearing plaid. 

I noticed a couple of episodes further down the line that she almost always wears her shirt untucked on the right side, and I guess I thought she was just rumpled because of the fight but she already does it in both main outfits this episode.

Sam has swapped into plaid, but Dean and Mary are dressing identically except for the colour schemes and Mary’s untucking habit.

12x03:

Mary’s wearing the ring prominently for I think the first time, and of course is wearing her shirt tucked in like that (I think this is where I first noticed it) and is the outfit she cuts her hair in, so having her in 1 pale layer quietly mimicks her show-long look for a final time before she ditches it for having a much broader and more practical wardrobe. She’s wearing this to mourn John and read the journal, and also her conversation with Cas. Looking like a default Mary, as she “should” in the saint!Mary image influences Cas to feel he has to leave because she belongs or should feel she does and he wants her to bond with her sons, but she begins breaking away immediately after this.

Aaand Sam’s still the only one wearing any sort of pattern, and Mary is dressed like Dean (but belt, no untucked shirt) and Dean is wearing grey so he doesn’t step on anyone’s toes…

Mary also keeps wearing the red maroon of family, in a one off, no one else ever wears anything remotely like it, sleeveless jacket, which she wears exclusively in the car or in the dark so no screen shots

I think this is a lovely sweater, tucked into the left side, a tank top underneath it, which is like in 12x14 where she’ll be wearing a blank tank top similar but without the fashion layer on top, and her ring very obviously displayed. Going from white because mom to black because mourning, both her entire family, and in these conversations, the old way of hunting. She’s moved I guess from shock and non-stop action to the next step of grief.

At the motel Sam wears green and purple plaid, and Dean wears a denim shirt.

Look what you are doing to your sons, Mary.

12x06:

Mary is introduced boots first (the cowboy boots seen in her room in 12x02?)

This outfit is truly unflattering and practical - she’s swimming in the coat, but she’s also wearing a belt again like 12x03, which was the other way to distinguish how she wears her shirts, and on the family unity theme not only wearing red n blue plaid again, but has it half buttoned half unbuttoned, bridging the gap between how Dean and Sam wear theirs. She exists in a lot of spaces between - half-tucked, or half-buttoned.

Dean once again wears plain grey, and Sam wears grey plaid.

12x09:

White because Lawrence, plain blue shirt in closeness to Dean’s outfits, and wearing *dark* grey-green because she’s in mourning still. She’s not wearing plaid or family colours because she’s on her rejecting her living family tour in exchange for moping about the dead.

Swaps to red to yell at Cas for not wearing plaid. She’s angry, and she’ll later still be wearing this for getting Alicia’s call and going off on the path of distracting herself with hunting, a la Mark!Dean with random vampires, when Dean got really into wearing a red shirt of a similar hue. You couldn’t see the ring in Lawrence but it’s on top of her clothes again here. Maybe she just couldn’t bear to expose it while sitting in the same place she had her first date with John? Winchester repression and all.

Cas is not wearing plaid, and this is the epitome of ‘hey we’re gonna wear boring grey shirts to lose in 12x08 and boring grey jumpsuits all of 12x09’ for the Winchesters to keep them out of it, but Mary has the same under layers as at Mulroney’s but instead of dark grey-green she’s wearing her tan jacket, the Cas colour scheme because they’re bonding, and hilariously (or not >.>) the colour Sam is wearing in 12x21 in the letter scene… Dean has a plaid in these colours too which he wore in 12x13 to see Gavin reunited with his lost love, and first wore in 10x14 at the very end, so I’ve got it lodged in my brain as the Colette/pining set of colours on others. 

I guess in Mary’s case here it’s not about dead lovers, but an upgrade to focusing on a now problem instead of a past problem, and also of course is part of the huge Cas n Mary web of parallels, of which this episode visually doubles down on with the Cas missing Dean paralleling Mary in 12x03 missing John sitting at the table in the dark in the Bunker thing. Actually missing Sam n Dean, she sits at the kitchen table, the private family space, to avoid any cross-contamination of visual images, and links to the bacon scene in 12x03 where she and Cas both refused to engage with Dean’s happy family breakfast…

In the first scene Mary’s wearing this we get introduced by ANOTHER pan up from her boots (her… 3rd? maybe? already) this time again showing she’s wearing Dean-like boots, and her more killing-things friendly belt choice, and dark red plaid (so dark you can’t see it well >.>) and dark pink shirt, all of which screams Mark of Cain and Dean parallels.

Cas is still not wearing plaid.

this is the most generic Winchester plaid she has so far rather than one that yells mark of cain or the family balance and integration themes - everything from “what you needed most” to Dean n Sam getting to a better understanding re: all 12x22 did for them as well) but fits in the TFW plaid from earlier, with tan and blue (Dean is wearing his original tan plaid in that scene in 5x13 although not the first time he wears it - it goes back to Nightshifter and for some reason my brain always tells me he didn’t have the plaid until 8x01 at which point I briefly clip out of reality every time he first appears in it in season 2 :P) Anyway 5x13 is aaaall about Mary and their family destiny/curses (I say curses because it’s about the apocalypse but Michael throws in the Cain and Abel thing for free)

Since Sam n Dean didn’t get a chance this episode (and were purposefully wearing non-memorable clothes in 12x08 so nothing important got lost) she’s covered the whole plaid thing for them. She’s making the choice to work with the BMoL here and wearing Sam-like plaid in a Dean-like way - note the sleeves too - but ultimately this arc does fall on Sam.

Anyway she is acting as the representative head of the family here making the decision for them.

12x12:

ANON YOU ARE WRONG. All 4 Winchesters are wearing plaid, because my brain just clipped out of reality while I had it paused like this: 

and my brother who is coincidentally here on the other side of my monitor and I forgot was in the room because he’s listening to podcasts, stretched, and his plaid-covered elbow appeared behind Cas and I thought it was his.

(I’m very tired, it’s been a loooong day)

Anyway Sam’s wearing blue and white, Mary is wearing blue and black, Dean is wearing Burger Date Plaid which is more important for the diner scene than the rest of the episode, and Cas is at least going to have the decency to nearly die on the plaid sofa the same-ish pattern as Dean’s shirt next episode.

I suppose when 3 Winchesters get together all wearing plaid, Bad Shit Happens, so if all FOUR of them wore plaid at once, reality might fracture, and considering season 13 looks like reality is going to be having some serious fracturing issues anyway… Yeah. Bad idea.

Even Wally is wearing plaid…

Much luck it gave him.

Anyway Mary’s generally having some more dark arc stuff, with a blank henley and the evil version of sam’s plaid, and a nondescript pale green jacket over the top. The ONLY reason Mary has this many plain nondescript jackets of varying hues is for symbolism. In this case green is kinda toxic and since she and Sam have negative versions of each other’s plaid and connect over the yellow eyes thing, I think it’s more about her guilt.

This all transforms at the end to the 3rd version on a simple outfit, of the one from 12x09 but this time with pale blue to make her even more Cas-like, but these colours could honestly just be associated with bad decisions, given the context here… I mean, not like Cas isn’t a freakin beacon of them :P

She also blends nicely into the diner, with its blue and beige tones. Compared to Ketch in his fancy suit. She also isn’t wearing plaid for this, going under the table with this as it were.

12x13:

Sam, Dean and Mary aren’t all in the same scene but Dean is wearing dark grey/puple and Sam a dary grey/blue with thin red lines - Mary’s wearing the opposite again, white with thick red outlined in blue.

She’s also untucked on the same side again.

Sam and Dean swap into the generic red plaid for Sam and the TFW/Cas plaid I mentioned for Dean - beige, white and blue, which he wears the rest of the episode while dealing with the MacLeod family drama.

This is their most plaid intensive episode, then as all of them get a costume change and all opt for more plaid. They’re working on family loyalty stuff so it’s quite important.

Mary’s next one is for the very monotone scene with Ketch, where she’s wearing grey and brown, and her shirt isn’t tucked interestingly or anything.

I think that’s about as much as you need to say about this episode :P

12x14:

Ooops I forgot 12x13 fed into this episode. In my defence it’s a bad idea to split a 2 episode cliffhanger by cliffhangering like 3-4 minutes before the end of the episode, even though the next episode is going to start immediately where you left off with what of all of the things happening in your cluttered episode is the main plot thread… Ah well. 

Mary shows up in a cream henley, under a strawberries and cream plaid - although pink is a baaad sign on this show, I guess she may have been aiming for cute and mumsy again, but not wearing the cute XOXOXOX family integration theme plaid from 12x02 when it looked she might have a hope of doing that before draaaama hit.

Sam is wearing all black (keeping out of the way in the fight and thematically) and Dean is wearing a non-pink and much more tightly patterned shirt (he’s drawing those family lines closer together) in the same broad colour category as Mary’s, but does sort of link them - they have a fight that gets thiiis close to dealing with Dean had to be the mom all their lives not Mary, because Berens and all, but they don’t get close enough and it has to wait until 12x22 after this, but it aligns them in a different way to how Sam and Mary have been having night and day versions of each other’s plaids, just as her blue n red plaid is so similar to Dean colours, but not the ways Sam wears it.

We then cut to her wearing her black tactical gear, and in an alarming move for a Winchester, later just a tank top. Incidentally they should all do this more often, Mary right through to Cas. She however is not bearing all, because her texts just aren’t laying out the whole problem and I don’t think she can see it, because she brings sam to meet her, and gives him the pitch as soon as he gets out the car.

The main day of the action, Dean wears a red shirt, Sam wears blue, white and beige plaid (They own a LOT of these colour-combinations) 

Mary is wearing red and black plaid I think the same as 12x09’s main action, which aligns her with Dean (for the Ketch seduction parallel?) and sets her at odds with Sam so they’re not too conspicuously wearing night and day versions of each others’ clothes. They ARE both wearing hunter plaid (as Dean says, to do the job you put on a flannel…) while dealing with the hunter specific arc of the season, while Dean is wearing a plain red shirt, which he uses to face inner demons. Mary’s colour aligns her with Dean, the pattern with Sam, and he wears a red plaid shirt more often than Dean these days. For Sam and Mary it’s an episode where they’re doing their thing together. Especially as it deals with repercussions not root causes - their lives branched, and Mary’s giving Sam the speech about a world without monsters like he can reclaim what life he lost, but he is on the path to lead the hunters and all his MoL stuff, so the TFW/bad decisions colours are appropriate? Mary’s on a dark arc which the actions make clear but the red plaid is always a nice reminder of when it’s channelling Dean… Sam wears his with impunity.

12x17:

Another episode where Mary and Sam n Dean are separated for the most part so can get away with them all having at least worn plaid in the same episode, though 12x12 remains the only one they all wore it TOGETHER (see above: look what happens >.>)

I’m still bothered by the way Buckleming often write Sam and Dean as a total matching unit and I never managed to put my finger on it until this episode when they give Mick the “so yeah Lucifer’s baby is a thing” speech because it combines multiple other scenes they’ve written in the past to finally just make SamandDean a stock exposition unit. I probably have another post to write about this and how they helped contribute to an overall weird feeling with both sides of the fandom stanning for 1 brother and some who love both feeling their fave/s was totally sidelined this season - done right Sam n Dean as passive viewers to the story is a great device (11x14!!) and this season did it a lot as a way to lighten the load on dudes who managed to have 3 babies between the two of them this year in the space of a couple of months, but also to broaden the story to give Cas and Mary development and to follow some other threads beyond what the Winchesters see and know just because the show has grown so far out of its original bounds… But anyway this wardrobe moment the morning after makes Sam and Dean literally dress identically to talk to Mick, and the show knows the theme, it just wasn’t well-done here, and I love the use over all in the season but this episode made me really side-eye the execution.

The wardrobe in the Mary stuff was good though. She wears her XOXOXOXOX plaid with the red n blue blah blah family integration theme - Dean’s wearing his About A Boy plaid up there, incidentally, which is red and BLACK lines - Mary’s one was her uniform for saving Sam at the start of the season and she’s at a cusp of things here. She’s in a comfortable pattern working with Ketch, but I think lets her guard down to sleep with him, and though she puts up emotional walls immediately and there’s all the stuff with her ring and mourning and wanting to have both hunting and family (a GOOD side of the red n blue theme in other places) she’s really putting herself on the path that leads to her mini demon!Dean arc in 12x21/22 as the inevitable result of this Mark of Cain arc stuff since midseason.

12x20:

Grey jumpsuits, for her and Ketch, which now I’m looking at the costumes for season 12, should have been an even more obvious clue after 12x09, although honestly the fake out introduction to Mary in this episode with the shifter in captivity with her face > the end of the episode with Mary captured, was pretty telling without throwing in the obvious prison uniform imagery that this jumpsuit transforms completely depending on context; Mary in the chair or Mary out the chair.

Sam n Dean off on their side of things has Sam in the 12x12 light blue shirt, Dean in his off-brand demon!Dean shirt which isn’t a demon!Dean shirt at all, but one of coping and better decisions and trying a better way. But looks a whole lot like the old ways on the surface :P

Mary, meanwhile, is wearing grey plaid again. The prison jumpsuits thing is making me wonder belatedly if wearing grey this season has been about imprisonment, metaphorically or not - Sam wore it in 12x01 etc, and Kelly had a grey coat she wore a lot.

this one is darker, and with her black coat, her henley buttoned almost all the way up. Mary is defensive and secretive and beginning to be very suspicious about what she got herself into, investigating or interrogating in all her scenes except for the one where she kicks Ketch in the nuts aka the best thing Mary did for like all of 2 more episodes before she was like “I wanna punch the Devil in the face” because after killing Ketch she needed new goals :P

12x21:

Bearing in mind how MANY times she changes her clothes, including swapping out jackets and all, once she’s under the BMoL’s control, she has a freshly laundered set of exactly what she was wearing in 12x20 and no changes. It’s out of her control to decide now.

She starts dressed jacket and all, then is down to the plaid in the next scene and finally stripped down to the henley and a single layer as the BMoL metaphorically strip her inside too.

Then, new DARK jacket, I think a looser shirt, but the SAME grey plaid at the end. Untucked, on the wrong side.

Incidentally if you want bad things happening when all the Winchesters are in one room in plaid, Sam’s in a generic Sam shirt, Dean in his red and black checked plaid which is aaaalmost exactly like both Sam and Mary’s version of it, but not like the About a Boy one or other variations he has on the theme.

12x22

Hey guess who is now wearing grey plaid with RED AND BLUE in it under the black jacket? Aka Mary is imprisoned (we’re going with this, pls ignore how I’ve decided like 50% of the themes AS I analysed it :P) but has family back in her plaid - a sign she can be brought back, and a reason to hope at this point, and by the end of the episode, what she’s wearing for FAMILY REINTEGRATION :D

Hey look they all wear plaid :D

This may or may not open a rift in reality.

12x23:

Mary is back in white but in a wearing comfy plaid way, and it’s got blue and red in it. She’s mom again, but now updated and upgraded to being a hunter in the GOOD way not the way in 12x01 where she wore a white lace shirt just to hastily make her practical for one day of action, but she’s comfortably being Mom Winchester in the new understanding of what their family is.

Sam and Dean are in red and blue-ish colour coding although Dean’s actually in grey and you know what fuck them wearing grey. Take that shirt off right now.

nothing happens to Dean but he does kind of get shattered at the end of the episode and we don’t know what would happen to him next, so like I said maybe just avoid on principle.

Anyway the whole family looks all comfy and soft, at least until Dean and Mary put practical jackets over theirs, and Sam stacks the orange jacket over the brown-red plaid.

Cas continues to not wear plaid and pays the ultimate price. Get with the picture, buddy.

[artificialqueens]

But, I'm a Choir Girl? (Trixya)- thevortex (5/14)

But, I’m a Choir Girl? Part 5 of 14

Once they reached the communal bathroom, Trixie turned on Violet. “Who do you think you are? Telling Katya about what happened. How dare you? You know what happened so why are you lying?” “What happened was you came in and destroyed my relationship!” “How did I? I didn’t even know you existed until after it happened! She never mentioned you.” “Wait…she didn’t?” “No Violet.” Trixie lowered her voice, and her tone became softer, as the truth of the situation was coming to light. “She never said anything. I’m sorry. If I would have known before…yeah, I wouldn’t have gone there.” Violet slid to the floor, staring at nothing, tears slowly beginning to threaten their exit. “Could you tell me what actually happened?” “Are you sure?” Violet nodded, her black hair shaking around her. “She went to my school, she was a senior when i was a freshman. She asked me to model for her art, of course I said yes. She invited me to stay for dinner after school. I learned that she was, well, a lesbian. I didn’t even think it were possible. We spoke over dinner about it and it dawned on me that I also felt a similar way. I guess I didn’t want to accept that I was probably one too. We talked. She invited me to stay, so I called home and made up something. Her parents weren’t in. She didn’t have a spare room. I was stupid enough to ask her what lesbians do. And I guess she showed me.” Violet swallowed hard, the tears falling freely now. She nodded slowly. “Continue, please.” “Well we did that. I won’t go into detail. But I ended up staying the entire weekend. I met her mother, she was lovely. We kissed in secret and spent a lot of time alone in the bedroom, to put it lightly. But when we went back to school, I uh, she ignored me completely. Acted like I never existed. Like we never happened. After she graduated I found out that she had spread a rumour about me being a bit handsy with girls, so I shut myself off. I got a boyfriend, and I stuck to my very heterosexual illusion. She never told me about you, or anything. I swear I wouldn’t have done anything if I had known.” “It’s okay. I believe you. I’m sorry for being so mean to you. Pearl and I had a fight that week, because her back had scratch marks that clearly weren’t mine. She told me that she went out and she had been roofied, and that she couldn’t remember your name properly, something like Tracy Martel, and that she looked like a Barbie. I saw you, and I knew. You were the one. Also doesn’t help that I realised how beautiful you are and I don’t blame her. But now Katya’s moved to you, so I’m super bitter.” Violet smiled sadly up at Trixie.Trixie’s stomach twisted at the mention of Katya’s name. “What was that about Katya?” “Oh me and her were a thing on the sly until a few days ago. But looks like you’re her new hobby.” “It isn’t like that.” Trixie grimaced. “You can have her.” “No it’s okay. I need to get over myself.” Violet stood up and brushed herself off. She walked over to Trixie and reached around her shoulders to pull her into a hug. “Thank you Tracy.”Trixie smiled and hugged her back. Boy was I wrong to assume. She’s quite sweet.

Trixie was flicking through one of the few magazines she had managed to smuggle into Straight Horizons in her suitcase. She was tucked up in bed, the clock on the wall showing her that it was 23:40. She had just reached an interesting article on dermatology when a light knock disturbed her concentration. In a panic to be caught with the vaguely sapphic contraband, she stuffed it underneath a pillow, cursing at herself when she felt one of the pages tear. “Yes?” Her large door opened slowly, the light from the corridor filtering in, and a small shadow formed on her bedroom floor. “Privyet.” It was Katya. “Please may I come in.” “I guess so.” Katya walked in slowly, closing the door behind her, taking extra care to not make much noise. She stood awkwardly by the door, unable to meet Trixie’s eyes. “Are you going to sit?” Katya sat on the edge of Trixie’s bed, and Trixie noticed her composure was different to its usual chipper self. “Are you going to tell me why you’re here?” Trixie asked, still unable to shake the bitter tone from their last encounter. Katya looked up, sad eyes quickly crinkling at the edges, sparkling with delight as her hand flew over her mouth to stifle a laugh. “So your hairs are not naturally curly?” Katya giggled, and pointed at the ridiculous curlers that adorned Trixie’s hair. The other girl couldn’t help but laugh along. “Damn my secret’s out. Promise not to tell anyone?” “I promise, Barbie.” She shifted to face Trixie fully, folding her legs beneath her. “I wanted to ask if you are angry with me for talking with Violet about  you. And if you are to say sorry.” “I’m not angry, don’t worry. I’m annoyed but not angry. Why were you talking about me?” “We, uh.” Katya gulped. “We were arguing. Because I stopped talking with her as much, then I talk with you more, so she mentioned Pearl, and to stay away from you.” “By talk, to you mean sex?” She asked. Trixie suddenly realised all that was between her and her surroundings was a satin nightdress that didn’t leave much to the imagination, especially as it was a cold night. “If that were true kukla, you are only girl here I have not talked to.” “So you want to talk to me?” “Yes.” Trixie felt a jolt of electricity shoot to her crotch. “But we barely know each other.” “Sorry I forgot to ask you to go for coffee date.” Katya deadpanned, and Trixie snorted in response. “No silly. What’s your name? Where are you from?” “You know my name, and where I am from, you are this silly one.” “Okay, do you live with your family?” Katya tensed at the seemingly innocent question. Trixie saw her jaw clench, and Katya stood up and left, without saying a word. Trixie sat there staring at the door and then to the interesting print left on her bed from where Katya had been.

Oh Katya.

The next day, Katya hadn’t said a word, not over breakfast, or lunch. Trixie kept mulling over their last conversation that they had had. She couldn’t quite figure what she had said that had caused Katya to cease her incessant rambling and laughing. Trixie never thought she’d admit it,  she missed the sound of Katya and her “unwanted” company. They were in the communal space, where Trixie met them all for the first time. Katya sat in the chair farthest away from the door, and when Trixie came in, she noticed Katya’s eyes widen, but still fixated on a certain floorboard. Her stomach twisted in guilt and Katya gulped. Trixie was excited to finally see her family after what felt like far too long away from them. She sat down next to two empty chairs, allowing room for her Mother and Father. It wasn’t long before various adults were squashed in between various not-so-adult teenagers. Trixie glanced over to Katya. Jeez. The woman to Katya’s left was a short, pointed woman, with eyes narrow and piercingly blue. Her platinum blonde hair was combed up into a tight french twist, accentuating her harsh cheekbones and jawline. Her father had his brow furrowed, dark eyes skipping from face to face, clearly judging the younger people, a clear look of disgust painted across his harsh features. Trixie could now see how she was so stunning, they were a picture perfect family, if you ignored the cold looks and Katya’s clearly petrified face.

Wait. Shit.

It just clicked.

Mrs Edwards cleared her throat. “Now everyone, the core of Christian values is a strong family. Which is why we are all here today.” Trixie’s mother squeezed her shoulder. “We are here to discover our roots. Why have we morphed, and submitted to the sin of homosexuality? Studies show it is to do with upbringing, or social influences in general. Now-” At this point Trixie had zoned out. Her mind had started to wander. It had been so long since Pearl. Three years in fact. She had forgotten how good she made her feel, and just how wrong it felt, adrenaline coursing through her system in the fear that Pearl’s mother could walk in and find them wrapped up in each other at any moment. Skin like silk, and a mouth like chocolate, she was addicted to how she felt that weekend. Her mind ran over the memory, skipping to that one moment like a broken record. Only every time Pearl whispered in her ear, her voice changed, and every strangled moan escaping Trixie became more and more desperate, her body arching to meet the touch of the Russian above her. Katya.

“Beatrice?” “Oh huh? Sorry, off in my own world.” She wishes. “What do you think is at the root of your homosexuality?” “Uhm, well. I guess when Dad lost his job, he was more of the maternal figure in my life. Cooking and cleaning. Mother was always at work, I didn’t have much of a female presence.” Trixie said, almost mumbling in fear of publicly embarrassing her parents. Mr Mattel blushed and hung his head in shame. “I also had an interaction with a girl a few years ago.” All heads turned to stare at her, including Katya. “But I don’t want to talk about that.” “Good!” Mrs Edwards announced. “It’s good to feel shame about homosexual activities. This will keep them at bay. Now, Katya?” Katya looked up, looking weak and frightened. Trixie was shocked. Katya was always the epitome of happiness, bounding around, making crass jokes and being a bit too sexual. This wasn’t her. “I don’t know.” Katya’s voice shook. “Da, she does.” Her mother piped up. “Back when she lived in Russia, she knew one of these disgusting lesbians, and she took Yekaterina away from us. Taught her the ways of Devil. She comes back from her church camp a lesbian. Marks on her skin, talking back. It was disgraceful.” Katya couldn’t help but smirk. “No, it was fun.” Katya looked over at Trixie and winked, who turned away to face the front. “This is what we mean. What is point in sending Yekaterina to America to get better. It isn’t working.” Her father bellowed and stood up. “Come Svetlana. Our plane leaves soon. Yekaterina, know that when this has finished, if you are not cured, you have no home in Russia.” The bitter couple left without another word, leaving Katya in her seat, looking bewildered and not quite knowing what to do. Mrs Edwards felt that it was best to conclude the session there. Katya bolted for the door, and Trixie’s heart sank. Now she understood. Once she said good bye to her parents, Trixie followed the corridor to outside. The bitter cold hit her like a sack of bricks, her arms automatically shooting up to wrap around her. Her eyes scanned the greenery, looking for the Russian girl. Nothing stood out, just fields and trees as far as the eyes could see, including a few benches. She was about to turn around and go back inside when a puff of smoke emanated from behind a tree. Katya. Trixie walked over to find Katya  hunched over herself, surrounded in cigarette butts. Trixie knelt down beside her. “Hey.” Trixie said softly. Katya nodded and continued to smoke, staring off into the distance. “I’m sorry about last night, I get it now.” “Do you? Do you get it?” Katya looked at Trixie, her eyes puffy and red from crying, clear mascara streaks visible on her high cheekbones. “Trixie, I see you with your loving family. You do not get it. I was forced here. I do not know America. My parents found me and a girl together. They lied in the meeting. They were on a business trip but came home early. They found me on the sofa screaming with my girlfriend’s face in my pussy.” Trixie blinked at Katya. She both wanted to laugh at her vulgarity and swoop her into a hug. But she also couldn’t help but notice a pang of jealousy at the word “girlfriend”. “I was forced to break up with her. My father beat me. My mother watched. I saw all love she had for me fade from her eyes. Russia is worse than America for gay people Trixie.” Katya sighed and looked down at her now burnt-out cigarette that lay delicately between her fingers. Trixie shuffled so that she was sitting next to her, and wrapped an arm around Katya’s waist, resting her head on the other’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for being so insensitive.” “It is okay. You couldn’t have known.” Katya’s hand moved to stroke the fingers that lay on her small waist, making Trixie’s stomach flutter. This wasn’t sexual, it wasn’t vulgar. It was plain, simple, and a little bit intimate. Trixie adjusted her grip to allow Katya’s fingers to slide between hers, holding each other in silence. Trixie kissed the ivory skin of Katya’s shoulder that was showing through her top. Katya pulled away, looking at Trixie with a confused expression. “Why are you doing this?” “Uh I’m sorry.” Trixie shrugged. “I thought it was appropriate. For comfort.” “You think kissing is comforting?” “If it’s from the right person, yes.” “You think you are right person for me?” Trixie shifted awkwardly. “I don’t know.” “Then why did you kiss me?” “I didn’t!” Trixie suddenly got defensive. “I kissed your shoulder. Completely platonic.” “Of course Barbie, I believe you.” Katya huffed sarcastically. “Alright then fine! Kiss me! See what good it does, see how comforting I am the-” Trixie’s irritated rambling was cut off by a soft pair of lips being placed gently on hers. She blinked wildly and stared at Katya, whose eyes were closed. The kiss itself was so gentle, and almost subtle. Trixie couldn’t help but let her eyes fall shut as she deepened the kiss. Her hand raised to cup Katya’s cheek, but before her hand could brush her skin, Katya pulled away. Trixie opened her eyes to see the moon reflecting off Katya’s, the light pooling in the green of her eyes, setting them ablaze with spots of silver. She scanned her face, looking for any hint as to how Katya was feeling. Her eyes flitted down to her mouth to find Katya’s plump bottom lip sitting perfectly between her teeth in a way that made Trixie’s breathing deepen. They sat like that, staring at each other, for what seemed like hours, investigating every detail of the other’s face. Katya smiled as she tried to count the freckles, and for a while she couldn’t take her gaze away from Trixie’s lips; so perfect and doll-like. It was only when Trixie spoke that she moved her eyes to look back up at Trixie’s. “Katya…” Trixie whispered. “Da, malysh?” “Could you do that again?” “Yes.” Katya’s voice was barely above a breath when she moved in for the second time, their lips connecting once more.