#he's stupid he's so immensely silly. insane even

[pinkrose05]

I'd like to personally advocate for whoever was behind this shot to get a raise, because holy shit-

[auras-moonstone]

Hey babe! I’m sure you get lots of requests but I’ve been reading all your stuff lately(so good omg and so addicting) but I was wondering if you could do enemies to lovers. With either Jack or ethan. Whatever comes to mind. Love ya!

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

ᡣ𐭩 word count: 1.2k

ᡣ𐭩 pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

ᡣ𐭩 summary: ethan and y/n have a rivalry going on, until one day y/n explodes and ethan decides it’s time to change the core of their relationship.

ᡣ𐭩 contents/warnings: academic rivalry. enemies to lovers(ish). insecurities. fighting. screaming. making up (and out). a little bit of toxicity.

y/n left the classroom practically fuming, with a smug-faced ethan trailing behind her. they had just been given their marks on their econ exam, and while y/n had passed, ethan had beaten her once again. by far.

it was exhausting. the boy was so smart, he didn’t even need to study. paying attention to class sufficed, he memorised everything and understood easily. y/n, on the other hand, wasn’t a natural. she had to stay hours on a chair trying to get the contents in her mind. and while she made an immense amount of effort, ethan always managed to come out in top of her.

she was insanely jealous of ethan. yes, maybe the few times she achieved higher marks than him she’d gloat a little bit (a lot). and yes, maybe the nonsense rivalry between them had started because of her and her bitterness but she couldn’t help but put up a fight.

some days y/n would feel bad about being the detonator of the stupid enmity, but today was definitely not one of those days.

“hey, y/n/n, it’s okay. econ is a very hard subject, not everyone understands it quite like i do.” ethan said, cockiness trying to be disguised with a very poorly-done empathetic tone.

y/n kept stomping, not even the rain could stop her from trying to get away from him.

“i could tutor you, if you’d like.” he continued, ignoring the way the fabric from her polo shirt was starting to get soaked.

“what i’d really like is if you’d leave me alone.”

“nope, this is my favorite part of feedback day. i love rubbing my high marks all over your face.” the tall boy smiled.

it was a crime that the cutest smile she’d ever seen belonged to the most insufferable man on earth. it only made her more furious. “get lost, landry.”

“we live in the same dorm building.” he laughed.

“well, take another route.”

“my god, you’re such a sore loser. i don’t say a thing when you gloat. which doesn’t get to happen very often, but still.” he rolled his eyes.

was he right? of course. was she going to admit he had a great point? no. was she going to keep unleashing her fury and jealousy? hell yes.

“yeah, well, once you get to beat mr. perfect, it’s an inevitable thing to do.”

his jaw tensed. “why are you so frustrating?” he screamed over the rain and thunders.

“why won’t you leave me alone?!” she screamed back, stopping in her tracks. “if i’m so frustrating why don’t you just stay away?” he stayed silent because he didn’t have a reason why. at least, none that he could say aloud without her running away. “huh, ethan? why do you keep sitting next to me even though the classroom is always empty when we arrive?!”

truth was, he was addicted to the rollercoaster of a relationship they both had. y/n always challenged him, made him feel alive. it wasn’t sane, it was completely intoxicating and wild and crazy, but it was his serotonin and he was addicted to it.

but this? up until today, it has been silly bragging and comebacks. this y/n seemed deranged, absolutely insane. he didn’t want her to truly hate him, because there was not a bone in ethan’s body that held any hatred towards her.

ethan admired her. he admired her perseverance, her intelligence, her witty, her humor. and even though it had never been towards him, he witnessed how kind she was to others. he wondered when it’d be his turn to have that part of y/n—the one that smiled genuinely, the one that joked, the one that laughed warmly.

it was clear the end of the stupid rivalry was in his hands because it would be an endless battle if it were for y/n, she was never going to let her armour down. he was ready for their relationship to change.

so with determined steps, ethan made his way towards her until he was so close that her chest almost touched his. “because i’m so fucking attracted to you. never thought i could feel this much about someone that hates my guts, but here i am.”

y/n’s eyes widened and searched in his face for any sign that he was messing with her. but she only found pleading brown eyes and eyebrows furrowed in anguish.

“and i’m going to kiss you right now, in risks of getting kneed in the balls, which is something you’d one hundred percent do.”

y/n might’ve laughed at that, but before she could do anything, ethan’s big hands grabbed her waist and pushed her towards him, closing the distance.

they stayed kissing in the rain for a while, not caring about the clothes sticking to their skins or the amount of water that fell down their faces. maybe their fights had been the perfect foreplay, because the kiss was unlike anything they’d experienced before. the rush that ran through their veins was intense and heart-racing.

“wow.” y/n said when they had to pull away for air. her fingers were still threading through his wet hair.

“yeah.” he agreed, letting out a laugh. “now that my kiss sort of sedated the beast within you—”

“fuck you.” she muttered, but this time there was nothing but playfulness in her tone.

“—let’s talk about what is going on inside your head, because we can’t keep on going like this.”

the walk back to her dorm was silent but the tension that always seemed to surround them was gone. their fingers were intertwined, and y/n leaned on ethan’s arm with his jacket around her shoulders.

“i’m sorry, ethan. i’m the one that started this stupidity.” y/n said as they settled on the couch.

“i never put a stop to it.” he pointed out.

“you were just playing the game i started. you never had bad intentions, but i fought with you because i resented you.”

“resented me? why? why did i do?” he asked, taken aback.

“no. nothing, not really. it’s just… i envied that you were so good at every class. i hated that i spent hours trying to make sense of what was in front of me while you understood everything so effortlessly. and the marks always hit me in the ego and insecurities.”

“and everytime i paraded my mark… i was just fuelling your anger.”

“well, yeah, but it’s not on you. it’s all me, in my head. during high school, everyone practically patted me in the head and congratulated me for my marks… and now, in college, i’m struggling like i’ve never before. it’s so horrible, i feel like a failure.”

ethan pulled her into his arms as she broke down. “you’re not a failure, y/n. college is very different from high school, and everyone struggles in their own way. no, i don’t have any problem when it comes to clases but socialising? trying to make friends? that’s where i struggle. it terrifies me.”

and now she hated herself more because it was at that moment that she realized she had been mean to someone who did not deserve it at all. “i’m so fucking sorry, ethan. you’re amazing and i’m sorry that i ever made you feel bad.”

“i’m sorry, too. i never meant it, but i still hurt you with my mocking. so let just call it even and move on, please.”

“we’re not even close to being even, but i want to move on, too. i want to get to know you. start over.” she said, brushing away the wet strands of hair that sticked to his forehead.

“but can we, maybe, please, not obviate the kiss? cause that was really fucking good and i want more of that.”

y/n laughed and hugged his neck. “that sounds perfect.”

[p1nk-syr1nge]

Chemical Reaction

Sun x Reader

| Reader is cleaning out a storage closet for Sun, and accidentally mixes chemicals oh noo!! CW// Blood, chemicals

this is definitely OOC, but it’s my first time actually writing him,, critique is appreciated heheh. Also if u have more Sun requests lmkkk!!

sorry i’ve been gone for so long! i’ve been immensely busy with no motivation to write, but i’m probably gonna write a bit for DCA <:3

You trudged off into the little storage room, exasperated as you drag the cart of cleaning supplies along with you. The cart was supposed to be helpful and make it easier, however the one janky wheel decided it would give you hell today. That is just what you needed, MORE unhelpful mechanicals.

You were grateful that it was just a cart, non sentient and motionless. So you didn’t giving it a harsh kick to the side in a bout of frustration. It didn’t ease the anger though, making it worse as your foot throbbed with pain, making you spew a string of curses. 

Quickly glancing around to make sure no children heard it, or that freakish jester.

Surely if he heard it, he would somehow manage to find a way to make this more difficult for you. It didn’t matter, the Daycare was going to close soon anyways.

After you finally managed to haul the cart into the supply closet, you swiftly closed it. So that way maybe, just maybe, it’d quiet down that wretched jingle on loop. Maybe that’s why Sun is this way, that song was enough to make ANYONE insane.

It was awful and horribly managed in the closet. Stains, dust, everything out of place. Is that black mold?

No matter, you quickly grabbed the supplies, spraying the harsh cleaning fluids. Switching bottles in hand to what you felt was appropriate to the task. This was easy, and honestly you liked it better than watching kids.

Not like Sun would ever let you anyways. Which was stupid to you. You were the Daycare Assistant. Not the Daycare Sit-There-Until-I-Need-You-To-Clean-Something-That-I-Can’t-Immediately-Get-To. If you wanted to do that, you’d apply as janitor. And you didn’t. 

Something something “incompetent”, something something, “no experience”. As if, you’ve been around kids before. You’re GREAT at… scolding them… and putting them in timeout…

Hm. Perhaps Sun kind of had a point, but you’d also never give him that satisfaction of admitting it. He was rude, and passive aggressive, patronizing even. He hated staff. To an extent you knew why, but you’ve still been trying to be on your best behavior. It felt almost like a lost cause, if he just put his guard down for one second, you could get along. 

You and Sun could be friends! Or at the very least, not enemies. Baby steps.

God, what were you even thinking?

You rubbed at your eyes, they burned and itched. So did your throat. Allergies must’ve been acting up…

You paid no mind to it. Continuing your scrubbing, listening whatever was going on the other side of the closet door. 

You could hear Sun wave off the last few kids as they leave with their parents. You suppressed the building up need to cough, opting for the convenient clearing of throat that scratches the itch just slightly. Though it just wasn’t enough for forever.

The second it becomes almost unbearable to suppress, the closet is opened up wide and suddenly.

The animatronic’s looming shadow is deathly still as he takes in the scene for a moment. You could hear his voice box mustering some kind of shrill shriek, or a gasp, or even a mix of the two? Whatever it was, it was not that of joy. 

Quickly, he snatched you up, hurrying to anywhere else away from the closet. He seems a bit frantic, looking around for a moment and goes to place you in a corner of folded blankets and huge stack of pillows.

“Sun, I’m not done cleaning the—“

“Are you silly in the head? Do you want to get hurt??” his voice was shrilly and panicked. 

“What did I even do?!” You huffed, trying to stand up and slide off the mountain of cushions. Though, your feet hit the floor and you were instantly dizzy, almost nauseous. The itch that lingered in the back of your throat grew and grew. His hands were on you again, picking you up just to put you back on top. 

You swatted at his hands to no avail. 

“Do you even have a sliver of self preservation, friend?” You stared at him for a moment, eyes watering. Not from him yelling at you, but from you trying not to choke and hack in his face. “No ventilation, so, so, SO careless! I can’t leave you alone for one second without some horrible accident!”

Still, you’re confused, you don’t understand what he’s trying to get at, or barely anything at all with how dizzy you are. Though the second he sticks his finger out accusingly and jabs at your chest, the coughing fit you’ve been holding off ensues. Your reaction time is off and before you can bring your hand up to cover your mouth it’s all over sun’s face.

Blood splatters onto his faceplate and he’s deathly still.

“Agh! Sun! Sorry, sorry!!” You scrambled, trying to look for anything to wipe up the crimson mess, the dusty rag you had in your pocket. You stuttered out millions of “sorry”s a second. For a moment he was still standing rigid, though he quickly got himself out of the daze, moving quickly to hold you still once more.

If he didn’t hate you before, spitting up blood in his face would certainly do the trick.

“You need to breathe, Friend,” he shook you a bit.

“It was an accident I promise!”

“Duh! I didn’t think you were smart enough to make chlorine gas on purpose!” He said, his voice a bit too cheery for that, flicking your forehead.

“…chlorine…?” You could only stare. His mechanical equivalent of a sigh came and he took the rag from your hand to finish what you started. When you looked down and it really caught up to you that you coughed up blood, you even really considered what was even happening.

Ohh… in all your mindless cleaning, you must’ve mixed chemicals, stuck in a little closet with no air flow, inhaling that was certainly not good for you. Had you been in there any longer it could’ve been fatal.

“Sorry… again,” a sheepish smile was given, in hopes to compensate for that ordeal. Sun only returned a head tilt full of pity.

“Perhaps you should stay off cleaning duty until I can properly teach you what to use,” he mused. “Unless you don’t mind wiping the playscape top to bottom with baby wipes.”

You gave him a strained smile, not wanting to seem too enthusiastic nor against it. Knowing he absolutely would make you do such a thing if he was having a particularly bad day.

All in all, you just got a scolding, and he wouldn’t let you even think about getting up. Any time you tried was fruitless, led to him just pushing you back down. It was past your shift time, and they weren’t paying you overtime.

He did give you a blanket though, that was nice. Nicer than he’s ever really been. You got the bare minimum. It was embarrassing how giddy you felt inside for some general kindness.

You honestly wanted to pull your teeth out after he asked you how you were feeling. Though with your pathetic “fine,” he clearly wasn’t convinced, but he didn’t seem to care enough to prod. You were fine enough, and anymore attention from him would’ve made you feel ten times worse. 

Fortunately you had managed to get a little nap in. Though it was cut short with Sun practically dragging you out before the lights went out. You were too drowsy and sickly to even consider looking back right now.

However, a part of you wanted to think that maybe he cared even a little about your wellbeing, regardless if it was purely his programming or not. 

[nyaagolor]

Ace Attorney is really funny to me because there are so many dynamics that are like. Relationship ADJACENT? Not shipping in any way but tangentially related to the Concept of romance in some form. Exes. Frenemies. “It’s complicated”. Unrequited love. etc etc. Some of my favorite headcanon dynamics in that category include:

Nahyuta is crushing hard on Ema and is attempting to get to know her via sermons and ceremonies. He craves that intimate alone time with her and is desperately trying to get closer to her as friends or otherwise. Despite this his valiant effort and extensive research he has missed the extremely important fact that she is a lesbian

Diego and Lana frenemies for insanely stupid reasons. Diego was damn near unable to go into the Criminal Affairs department while Lana worked there bc Lana was Mia's girlfriend in college and Diego is cursed with the knowledge that Mia thinks Lana is a better kisser than he will ever be. It haunts him

Iris gets reintroduced to the Feys and actually becomes good friends with Phoenix after being released from prison. Phoenix manages to make a name for himself as the only person to actively invite his ex to holiday parties with genuinely good intentions and everyone is delighted that Iris is there because in all honesty? She’s nicer than any boyfriend he’s ever had

Klavier has spent so long jokingly flirting with Apollo that he can never EVER pivot to actually flirting because Apollo won’t take it seriously. He cried wolf too many times with pickup lines and now even the most forward declarations of romantic intent will be assumed to be ironic or silly. Klavier is dying. Ema finds the entire thing IMMENSELY funny

[laugtherhyena]

Out of curiosity, Are you able to talk about all the characters in Danganronpa Another and what you do and don't like about them?

And out of curiosity, what is your opinion on the creator?

Be ready for a lot of rambling anon because you just opened the floodgates here.

Ok so first and foremost, I don't really feel much towards Linuj himself? That's sorta of a me thing where i tend to not care much about the creators of stuff i like so you'll never see me go like "wow i love this person they're fucking awesome" or "Goddamn that guy sucks" (unless said creator has done something genuinely awful, in that case obviously I'd dislike them) at most you see me go "that's wild" or complain about writing decisions and that's about it, none of that makes me inclined towards liking or disliking Linuj as a person. Tho as much as i rant about his games i gotta give credit where credit is due, the dude manages to make two whole games prey much all by himself and I respect that honestly.

Onto the opinions on the charcters, I'll just be doing the Dra folks because it's been years since i last went through Sdra2 and since I don't like that game nearly as much as a the first one i feel like whatever I've got to say about the characters would be really shallow in comparison to the first game's cast and that's like,, not fair? In my head?So yeah, sorry Sdra2 fans, maybe some other time.

Kiyoka Maki

Kiyoka is a character i genuinely love a lot because she feels like the most perfect execution of a first victim character in a Danganronpa type game, so much so that i am genuinely appalled that Linuj just randomly decided to pick her as the first victim like, what?? She fits that role so perfect that it genuinely feels as if she was created with the idea of being the first victim in mind rather than creating the character and only assigning the role later, from her personality, to character traits and even down to her design, everything works so well together that it's insane for me to think that he created the pinnacle of first victim characters pretty much accidentally.

Regardless, the way she was written and inserted into the story never fails to amaze me but i already went into more details about that here so go check that out cuz now i wanna take this time to talk about her as a standalone character instead of just her role in the story.

Because really, Kiyoka is such a funny character! She's just this silly girl that wants to chill out and hang out with her besties but she could also shoot you square in the face from several feet away. That immense discrepancy between her talent and personality is something i always found absolutely hilarious, tho if there's one thing i dislike about her is that i wish Linuj would have explained how she got into spining in the first place? Since it's such an out there talent that Kiyoka herself doesn't even like that I can't help but wonder how that happened. Not in a "the character NEEDED this" way, I'm just genuinely curious and I'd love to know how she got herself into that pickle.

Her interaction with everyone else in the cast are delight too, i love thinking about her and the sunshine trio going around and getting into stupid shenanigans and i think Linuj did a fantastic job writtring her and Ryutaro's relationship, it's a very realistic portrayal of sibling relationship which makes me really sad whenever i think back to ch6.5 and how Ryutaro will never be able to apologize to his sister. Fun fact! The ending segment of that chapter where we see him at Kiyoka's grave was the first time I've ever cried over anything that happened in these games.

Mitsuhiro Higa

Higa is in this weird spot where I don't dislike him but I don't like like him either, it's this limbo area where I'm way too indifferent to actively dislike him so he just exists there and I don't think about him like ever and that's pretty much it.

Seriously, it's hard for me to even think about way to say in terms of likes and dislikes when it comes to him because i just. Don't think about Higa-

One thing that sorta bothers me about him is how Linuj tried to make him a bit "heroic" in that one flashbacks sequence we see in Ch6 that shows how the class was captured. It's just comes out of nowhere and it's so jarring considering not even his FTEs try to paint Higa in a nicer light. It's also really weird to me how Kizuna, the other awful person in a similar vein as Higa, didn't got any of that treatment which is just,, off.

Kizuna Tomori

And speak of the devil! Kizuna Tomori my beloved, they could never make me hate you❤️

I actually got this question about Kizuna specifically a while ago, so go read that post so that I won have to repeat myself here.

Ayame Hatano

Do you guys know Dungeon meshi? Have you ever seen people talk about how they've improved their eating habits or are generally eating and cooking more often because of how much they like Senshi, whose main character traits revolve around proper nutrition and cooking? That's literally me but exercising frequently out of how much i love Ayame.

Honestly? I feel a little embarrassed getting to talk about my liking for her like this because this is a character that's only around for like 1/3 of the game at most? If you count flashbacks scenes and extra materials like the FTEs and the IF chapter. At the end of the day Ayame is by no means an incredibly complex character so I'm not here to ramble about how she's actually really a deep and intricately constructed character and you guys just don't see it because ultimately, she isn't.

The older i get the more i realize that this is the sort of character i tend to gravitate towards in any media i consume. Very rarely do i ever become this attached to characters who are super intricate and complex, let alone main characters, i feel like even simpler characters like Ayame who has pretty normal life in comparison to others from the cast and not a lot of crazy stuff going on in her backstory have things going for that the casual fan may not notice but are absolutely worth looking into.

And it's crazy because i like quite literally everything about Ayame from her character to her design, in fact, it was her design that initially brought my attention to her because Ayame's hair is one of my favorite hairstyles to see in any character design ever (specifically the little spiky parts on the side that stick up a little) so that immediately made me like this character a bit before i even knew anything about the game other than the death order and that it came before Sdra2. And for real, i think Ayame's design is really good, simple yet solid much like the character herself honestly.

While Ayame was always amongst one of my favorites characters from Dra, I was much more into Sdra2 back when i first got into the series so for a good while my liking for her wasn't as imense as it is nowadays, but it was definitely more than i liked any other character in the first game though i could never quite place my finger on why i liked her so damn much. It was only when i got back into the another series years later that i was hit with a wave of emotions as i remembered how much i adored this character and looking into her again with a better understanding of things made me finally piece together what made me love her so dearly. Spoiler alert, it went much beyond my dumb teenage self pointing at the phone screen and going like “she's just like me fr‼️” to the point that nowadays i really don't relate to Ayame as much as i used to back then, i guess a good term to describe her would be a comfort character of mine but that doesn't feel that right to me either? I think this level of attachment to a fictional character goes beyond that like she has a special place in my heart and I think by now I've rewatched Ch2 more than any other person in this fandom-

I think what i love the most about this character is the inherent contrast within her, one so prominent that it goes as far as blending into her sprites and expressions, she appears as a serious and maybe even a little intimidating person upon first impressions with Yuki and while those are indeed parts of her Ayame is also a caring girl with a huge heart she's just a little awkward.

She struggles quite often when it comes to communicating and socializing with her peers but i cannot stress enough just how much Ayame cares for her classmates even though she's not the best at showing that, and don't mean just Akane (though she's by far the person she was the closest to). In the Ch2 post trial we learn that Ayame had actually been affected pretty heavily by the first motive video the cast was given yet she kept it to herself which when taking into account how she wishes for the rest of the class to get along as she's leaving for her execution reads to me as Ayame genuinely caring for the others as well to the point she wanted them to see her as strong so that they could also remain strong amidst the despair, and if that isn't enough to show her care then just look at the fact that this girl went as far as reopening an old wound on her leg, one that brought her so much pain and despair in the past, as a means of apology to all of them in case she managed to win the class trial (+ i personally believe this was also a self inflicted punishment for killing Kizuna since Ayame is well aware that she could have tried to save her instead of leaving her to bleed out with a knife on her neck, but that's more on the interpretation side than in-game implications.)

And this is where the nuance of this character comes in because while Ayame is a good person at heart, and a courageous and determined one at that, she's not beyond being cruel and getting her hands dirty in order to protect those she loves, but amidst this desire there's also a heap of selfishness in her acts that Ayame herself admits in the post trial as being the reason why she didn't just admit she was the killer from the start. She killed to spare Akane's life from an unavoidable execution but at the same time she wasn't free from the urge to take that as a chance to leave hope's peak academy herself and that's just,, ough man i love when characters can be brutal yet kind, selfless and selfish at the same time and i think this conflicting aspect of hers is what truly makes this character special.

So much so that i feel like if you just look at chapter 2’s case purely from a “clean” perspective where Ayame wanted to save Akane and there's not much more to that then you're missing out on the most interesting aspect of both the trial and her character and if that's as deep as most viewers tend to interpret her actions then it's no wonder why she's commonly deemed not very memorable and tends to be reduced to her relationship with Akane.

Yes, what she did was noble and it truly showed just how much she cared for Akane when she was willing to give up her own life and dreams for the future if it meant sparing her from a terrible fate, but you can't just gloss over the fact that at the same time Ayame had the selfish desire to use that as an opportunity to escape, and most importantly in my opinion we shouldn't ignore the fact that this sacrifice came in the form or brutally murdering someone she had the opportunity to try saving. It's just as cruel as it is noble yet simultaneously intertwined with Ayame's own selfish desires and wow! This character makes me unwell❤️

So yeah, in conclusion i like Ayame a whole lot and i wish more people would acknowledge the fact that she's kinda of a little freak too.

Kakeru Yamaguchi

So Kakeru is a weird one, in concept i like him quite a bit! I love the gentle giant archetype and i think the idea of him switching into a more assertive and loud personality in trials is really cool, but much like Kakeru as a whole, that is pretty underutilized and results in a character that could have been so much better than what we actually got in game.

I get the feeling that Linuj didn't really know what to do with Kakeru, he had a handfuls of ideas but there was no proper execution for them and he so he was sorta just,, there for the ride. I think what bothers me the most is how dumb he is in the trials, sure, DR trials aren't at all similar to the real life ones he would have been used to going to due to his talent, but that doesn't excuse the fact that Kakeru is surprisingly dumb in both the trials he's in when he should at least be able to argue and bring more to the table than just be another one of the characters that goes "i don't get it" or says something blantantly wrong for Maeda to refute. + If he smarter than that then maybe he could have been one of the characters to oppose Tsurugi more directly, since he is a lawyer and Kinjo has his "all criminals are scum" mentality. It would have fit well in with the characters and storyline but because Kakeru is such a nothing burger that role ended up being passed to Kinji since he's one of the few smart characters in Dra.

Still, none of that makes me dislike him it's just a little disappointing and ultimately makes him one of the people I don't think about very often but he's still a pretty sweet dude who i think it's pretty silly and funny in his interaction with the others from the cast so yeah, he's neat :]

Kanata Inori

You know, Kanata wasn't a character i originally thought much about but the more i looked into her the more i started loving this character, simultaneously, i felt disapointed of how underutilized she was in the story, but I'll get into that later.

Kanata is just such a sweetheart and you can really feel how much she cares for everyone during her interactions with the cast during the storyline, she's also quite useful in the trials she was in seeing as she was able to perform autopsies and give Yuki information that he probably wouldn't have known otherwise which more often than not ends up being pretty decisive in figuring out who the culprit is. I also really enjoy her backstory and how Ando's kindness in working to save her life despite the borderline nonexistent chances of her making out alive inspired her in such a way that Kanata decided to pursue a medical career so she could bravely save people just like he saved her! They're one of the sweetest family relationships in this series in my opinion so much so i get so sad whenever i rewatch ch6.5 and get to the part where Ando talks about Kanata and how she's an amazing kid :(

Much like Kakeru, the one thing i dislike about this character is that she was ultimately underutilized in the story, but whereas Kakeru's came from the fact that his character is an unorganized mess of ideas, Kanata had things going for her, they just weren't shown through most of the time she was on screen for whatever reason. Seriously, why was she reduced to the emotional character who cries all the time? I get that she's very nice and cares a lot for her classmates but c'mon, she worked at a hospital she should be able to deal with the situation at least a little better instead of bawling her eyes out whenever something bad happened.

Kanata hit a yakuza member on the head in the middle of a gang fight so that she could treat him properly once, she can be fierce and assertive when the situation calls for it, so why did she never do that in the main story?? This is absolutely baffling to me because it genuinely does such a disservice to the character and can end up driving people away from learning more about, like if i wasn't writing for an AU where she was a major character during the time she was alive I don't think i would have looked deeper into this character and learned how incredible she is because the main story made me think of her as just "the emotional one who cries all the time".

I also feel like it was a missed opportunity to not have her being the one who died trying to save the other ch3 victim. Like c'mon, her backstory shows us how she can often put other's safety before her own, that would have fit so well.

Kinji Uehara

Just like Kakeru, he's also a character I don't think much about but that comes from personal preference rather than feeling as if he was underutilized in story. Kinji just isn't the kind of character i tend to pay much mind to and that's ok! I do think he's a pretty interesting character, with his deal with the orphanage and also being the traitor in the game, i also enjoy how he always made his opinions clear to everyone like when he left the group because he didn't agree with Tsurugi's way of going about things and how he stood up against him and called him out in his hypocrisy in the Ch3 post trial.

If there's one thing I don't like about Kinji's is how linuj structured his murder plan, his method are SO violent for a character who had a noble motive and wasn't just some kind of crazy serial killer. Kakeru's make sense, since he was trying to stop him as fast as he could but i just don't understand why he still went on to kill Kanata when he had already killed someone (which was all he needed to do according to his deal with Monokuma), we're never told that Kanata saw it was him who attacked her, so why did ge insist on killing her anyway? Just because he had the plan set already? A plan that was also uncharacteristically brutal for a guy like Kinji. Seriously, when i first spoiled myself of all deaths in this game i got to Ch3 and thought "oh so he's the token crazy serial killer character" and while i was happy that he wasn't that, it's jarring that he got so violent out of nowhere + his breakdown in trial also feels pretty out of character in my eyes.

Haruhiko Kobashikawa

See, Haru is a cool guy, him Satsuki and Teruya (for a good part of the game) are essentially DRA's comedic relief characters and I've always had a big soft spot for those in DR games, when my faves inevitably die really early it's there character's inclusion that keep me watching the rest of the game!.. And then they die and struggle to get myself to watch the final chapters because most of the remaining characters are people I don't care nearly as much for- (thank god Ch5 has Mikako and Teruya survived the whole game)

But the thing is, when it comes to Haru himself I don't actually have much to say about him? He reminds me a lot of Kiyoka in the sense that he's a pretty normal guy for his age with a really out there talent that he's crazy good at. I think where Haruhiko really shines is not in his actions during Ch4 (tho that was amazing too, i can totally see why this is so many people's favorite chapter/case in Dra), but in his interactions with the other character because pretty much every single one of them are just so endearing to watch, regardless he's just being a dumbass or getting into trouble, in fact! I quite enjoy how he's a little hot headed (not sure if that's the right term)? The dude stands his ground and is not afraid of getting into fights if something's bothering him a lot, tho his own shortcomings and paranoia can often get the best out of him and he'll be sorta of an asshole and makes him feel so real to me, like he's just some dumb teen bound to make mistakes in a dangerous situation like the killing game and i really like that.

If i had to think of one thing i dislike about him I'd say is how he was characterized in the Ch6 flashback segment, like, by that point him and Satsuki are a couple right? So why was he trying to hit on the random Kisaragi fundation worker? That's not necessary out of character for him, but it's really weird that he's doing that despite havinya girlfriend of her own (smh Haru, i expected better from you).

Satsuki Iranami

Satsuki isn't a character i talk about a lot but i like her a lot! Not only is she a genuinly funny character who i love seeing her interactions with pretty much anyone in the cast, but i find her relationship with her family and the way she goes about it really interesting. I think anyone who've seen Satsuki's FTEs can tell that her family is insanely abusive, creating an environment of making their kids compete and compare themselves to one another on who's the best clown and treating Satsuki like absolutely garbage since she's considered the worst of them. Hell, I'm pretty sure they only sent her to hope's peak so they could get rid of her since she was of age to attend which is just,, damn. This is a fucking awful place to grow up in.

Yet Satsuki herself isn't a sad person nor do we ever see her get really depressed and upset when talking about her family, at most she looks a little sad and, unfortunately, agrees with them that she's the worst of the clows while sticking to not crying or sulking about it, instead she goes on to keep being silly and joking around which has always striked me more as a coping mechanism instead of "Satsuki it's too stupid to realize how terrible her family situation is" because as goofy as she is i do get the feeling that she knows her situation is absolutely awful but doesn't know a great way to cope with it other than what she's already doing.

And this seeing this strange coping mechanism explains so much about the way she acts in the killing game, she keeps joking around even during trials or when faces with murder motives because she just wants to remain happy and tries to see if maybe doing so will lift up the spirits of her classmates as well. Not saying that this is by any means a healthy coping mechanism, like, no, Satsuki girl it's okay to cry and be upset over terrible things, be it her family situation or the killing game, but this is nevertheless the most fascinating aspect of this character to me.

And once you take that into accound, it makes perfect sense why she was choosen to be sorta the "hope beacon" of the cast in Ch4 because really, that's just what Satsuki's Been doing the whole game. Tho i do wish this aspect was given more of a spotlight even in Ch4 itself because on first watch (without going through her FTEs) it felt a little jarring to me how Satsuki "randomly" became really important, but i consider that more of a nippick in comparison to other things I've complained about here.

Yamato Kisaragi

Oh right, this guy! He exists in the same indifference limbo as Higa but only because I don't think about him that often (so much so i forget he exists sometimes) because whenever i do think about him he gets violently pushed onto the active dislike section. Which is really funny to me considering Yamato is the perfect and super cool genius guy of the first another game, and that's a big point on my lack of care for him. The game insists in telling us how awesome Yamato is, how all of his classmates like him and how much of a hero he was for try to save them both in the Ch6 flashback and in the IF chapter, and i think that's exactly what made me feel such insane annoyance/repulse towards this character to the point that I'll see him and just groan and roll my eyes.

He's a character the story actively wants us to like but he's just so bland and generic that this push just annoys me and i feel nothing towards him as a person, the fact that we barely see him be himself in the game doesn't help either since he died almost as soon as he's introduced and all we have are flashbacks, the other character's opinions/memories of the guy and his Ai version. And even when we do see Kisaragi be himself in the IF chapter, his role there is like,, textbook generic anime nice guy protag and i just feel?? Insane???

His bland ass is like a piece of wet cardboard to me that i see people point at and act like it's the coolest thing ever and i just look down at it in my hands and think, i don't get it. I don't see it.

And don't even get me started on how Linuj fucking side lined Mikako's role and character in favor of giving this guy the spotlight by having him come in as if he's the goddamn saving grace of the killing game and solve all the mysteries that were set and build up BY ANOTHER CHARACTER, because nooooooooooo we can't have Mikako do that, it has to be Kisaragi because he's THE. GUY. EVER. ISN'T HE JUST SO FUCKING AMAZING EVERYONE????????

This makes me. Genuinely so mad and since I'd rather not pop a vein while raging as i write this go look at this post if you wanted to see me ramble a little more on this part.

Wow, after this it's tricky for me to even think of a positive to say, uhm.. I guess his relationship with Mikako is nice? I do like how it genuinely seems like they care a lot for one another tho sometimes this care can come off the wrong way and lead to arguments between the two, like how Yamato was avoiding and being rude to Mikako during that flashback sequence i keep mentioning over and over even tho she could tell there was something wrong with him and just wanted to help. They're sweet and tragic when thinking about how they met their ends but I can't feel much on that regard seeing how many,, feelings. I have towards Yamato.

Mikako Kurokawa

You know i feel like we as a fandom don't talk enough about the horror that Mikako goes through during the killing game. She never lost her memories, she remembers these people being friends and having strong bonds with other another and she's just forced to sit there and watch as they forget everything and murder each other without knowing of what she knows, and if Mikako does as much as try to say a few words regarding what she knows her head already starts splitting into two and she'll have headaches so bad they'll make her pass out and puke blood. And that's without counting the fact that she's left completely in the dark about her brother's whereabouts through most of the game and when she does reunite with him is in the worst way possible because Yamato’s mental state is even worse than hers and he dies not long after with her being blamed for his murder. She had the worst time ever in that game and i feel like it really isn't an understatement to say she suffered through the whole thing.

And that's where Mikako's spirit really shines because despite all the pain she went through, both physical and mental, she always held onto hope and wanted to help her friends even if her options were incredibly limited. She cared for each and every single one of them to the point she even wanted to try and save Yuki and Akane even though she knew they were the masterminds because she thought that with their memories erased they could embrace hope as well and come out of that as better people, and in her very last moments she still wished to help the remaining characters and kept talking even though she knew it would kill her. That's such an insane level of courage and determination from her part that it never fails to impress me.

She's such an insane character I can't help but feel like we were robbed when she died, especially when it happened before she could unravel all the mysteries Mikako had help build up through the entirety of the game and instead we get her amazing and so cool brother doing that and getting all the spotlight instead of Mikako herself.. How nice.

But i think what bothers me the most about her death is that it was so?? Unnecessary?? Like, what did it do for her character arc? It feels like she died more because Linuj wanted her to die than because it felt fitting for the character’s journey to end where it did, and you can't tell me it wouldn't have been awesome to see her in Sdra2 and how she'd react learning that her shitty mother was one of the reason why that second killing game happened in the first place.

I explained my thoughts on Mikako's death in a nicer manner in this other post so please go check that out because I will never not be upset over her death in this game, especially when her execution ends in a way that she would have survived if she wasn't already dead by the time started.. that just felt like an unnecessary fuck you from Linuj’s part-

Akane Taira

Another character I've rambled about in the past and so don't feel like reiterating it all here (this post is getting REALLY long), so yeah, check it out but tldr, I think Akane is a really cool character and i think writing her so frequently in -2+2 has made me not only get a better understanding of her character but also like her a lot more too!

Yuki Maeda

As y'all know, Dra Yuki>>>>>>>>Sdra2 Yuki always and forever in my heart ❤️

Seriously, for someone who tends to really not give a fuck about the protagonists in DR games it genuinely surprised me how much i grew to enjoy Dra Yuki after i went through the game's full translation and realized “Woah! He isn't the same universal punching back as the Sdra2 one!” Because prior to that i was under the impression that both Yuki acted and were treated the exact same by the game's storyline and as you can probably tell I don't like Sdra2 Yuki all that much.

Dra Yuki differs because not only does the game not try to force the horrors upon him constantly but he feels very human in his actions, he's just some guy not the embodiment of good or a hope hype man so he's bound to get a little sick of this shit sometimes and make mistakes. We see this during Ch4 in his argument with Akane and also in Ch2 where he decides to break the groups trust by reading the secret note anyway which later comes back to bite him when the cast finds out, and this really stood out to me and made him instantly more interesting than other protags in my eyes, although I'm pretty sure this nuance of his character was done as a way to foreshadow his reveal as Utsuro/The mastermind.

Either ways, it ended up creating one of my favorite protags of any DR type game + i do really like the twist of the protagonists being the mastermind at the end of the day, it was something super unique by the time Dra first came out and it's still something i haven't seen be done in any other fangan (tho to be fair I don't look much into those anymore nowadays-)

It's hard for me to pick something i dislike about him since he's overall just a neat guy in my eyes but if i had to pull something I'd say he constantly taking Tsurugi's side feels kinda annoying at times? Sometimes it feels like he just glosses over some of the nasty stuff Kinjo says, like when he questioned why the group for kicking out Kinjo in Ch3 as if he hadn't just told Akane to kill herself right after she saw her best friend be grinded into minced meat. Like okay buddy i get that you see good in Kinjo and you wanna help him, but he really deserves to get a good slap in the face sometimes and the others are rightfully mad at him.

Utsuro

Not much to say here honestly, i feel like i like the idea of Utsuro and what he brings to the table in terms of world building, how his presence and powers affect the others around him and even the story itself. The idea of someone with insane luck powers he can't control that made his life miserable since he could achive literally anything with no effort and everyone he met only wanted to exploit said powers which led to him falling into the despair ideology since by that point it was the one thing that made him feel something it's just so,, wow man, thats some crazy angst and such an unique way to explore the borderline magical luck that exist in the DR franchise.

I love thinking about him in that vein but as a character?.. Erh, i really don't care nor think much about Utsuro at all. Which in a way, i suppose isn't all that different from how the world saw him in universe? How ironic.

Teruya Otori

By far my favorite out of the survious though I'm not sure how to explain why i like Teruya so much? I feel like part of it comes from the soft spot for comedic relief characters i talked about earlier and the rest from the way he was written in the story.

It's crazy because i feel like Teruya's writing in itself really highlights the changes in the way Linuj viewed and went about characters by the time he started working on Sdra2, i feel like if Teruya was a character that originated from that game he would be portrayed as a bad person who you shouldn't sympathize for even though he has his reasonings for acting the way he does sometimes, sorta like how Linuj tends to punish Hibiki even tho she was the bigger victim at the end of the way.

Just like Haruhiko he feels very real to me and his character arc through Dra has gotta be one of my favorites. Teruya is not a bad person, he's a good kid at heart but the severity of the situation they're in and the stuff that gets forced upon him gets to him a lot which leads to Teruya lashing out at his friends and doing some pretty bad things here and there, yet he's never portrayed as an awful person that shouldn't be forgiven or shit and he does change for the better at the end of the day. He went through a lot and came out bigger and stronger on the other side and is a shame this kind of character arc isn't properly used in Sdra2 since Linuj's mentality became so black and white out of nowhere.

I love this little guy, I'm so glad he survived the killing game though unfortunately the same can't be said for the second one but honestly? Teruya's entire role in that story was such a mess, and sometimes even a detriment to his character in my opinion, that nowadays I can't even feel that sad over his death anymore. While there are a handful of things that bother me a lot about it, like the amnesia plot just because Linuj seems to hate actually building up to things in that game and his entire role in ch4 (seriously. What was that. Why.), i think what i dislike the most is the fact that he ended up being permadead while Rei escaped the killing game fine.

I know Linuj actually gave a good explanation to why it happened (unlike Mikako's barely explained sudden brain explosion), but still, it feels like such a mean thing to do to someone who's been through so much and still tried his hardest while being in a dangerous and unpredictable situation. My guy was done dirty in that game.

Rei Mekaru and Tsurugi Kinjo

Grouping these two together because i feel like my opinions on both of them are not only pretty much the same but they also stem from the same place, so yeah-

Don't get me wrong, these two are very interesting characters and I'd argue they're one of the more complex ones in the cast as well, not only because they make it through both games but also because of their own personal backgrounds and how that shaky upbringing affected the kind of person they became as they grew older. With Tsurugi living under his father's black and white ideologies of criminals being deserving of death no matter what and falling deeper and deeper into that the more friends he loses during his life and Rei being abandoned (albeit unintentionally?) by her parents at an young age which led to her working hard to get where she's at now which not only made her quite used to being on her own but also loathe those who "take the easy" way and want all awnsers handed to them on a silver platter, which explains why she's so rude to the rest of the cast since she wants them to figure out stuff on their own too.

There's a lot to look into these characters and it makes sense why so many people like them a lot, I'm however not the biggest fan of this type of character (tho i feel like that lies more in their personality than anything else?) so i never looked much into them before i started writing DRA -2+2 and decided to look into everyone in the cast to get a better grip on their characters. And man, writing these two really did give me a newfound appreciation and love for them! They're such fun characters to write and have interacting with the rest of the cast. Tho i wouldn't by any means say i have a proper understanding of them, i feel like that's a bit out of my league still.

If there's one thing I'm not a big fan if is that i wish we would have seen more of those two in Sdra2 instead of them just having a major role in Ch6, AKA; the messiest chapter in this entire series. Like, would it have hurt that badly to not have the Void theather segments and instead cut to small scenes at the Kisaragi foundation showing what the characters are doing and how they're reacting and planing to go about interfering with Mikado's killing game? I feel like that would have been so much more interesting than watching Emma bother Hajime with bad puns while Nikei and Iroha continue being the same assholes they've always been + it would have made Tsurugi's backwards development less of a shock to see whenever Ch6 actually rolls around.

Anyways, to wrap up this massive post here's what i hope will be the definitive Carol Dra cast tierlist

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

Thanks (m, cold)

Hi guys, thank you again for voting on which scenario you wanted to see for this fic! It's a bit of a slow burn, and idk how I feel about the ending, but Elijah is staunchly miserable by the end so hopefully that makes y'all happy 😅 let me know if you like it 🫶

Ps I've been writing this for literally the past 12 hours so I cannot look at it anymore, I'll read it over and edit errors in the morning but I need to get it out before it drives me insane lmao. 5.5k words under the cut :)

CW: male snz, colds, coughing, fever, contagion

There was nothing quite as depressing, Elijah decided, as the days leading up to Thanksgiving dinner service in a restaurant. Well, unless you were Greyson.

“Goooood morning, boss! Two days til the Big Day; are you pumped?”

Elijah turned his chair slowly towards the door, where the chef stood grinning unironically. He thought, not for the first time, that Greyson was likely some sort of dog in a past life – a golden retriever, or possibly a lab. One of those ‘no thoughts, just vibes’ dogs.

“Am I pumped?” Elijah asked, glaring at Greyson. “For a day that should be spent drinking shitty beer and eating my weight in carbs spent instead putting on a fake smile for people who don’t even think of us as human? For people who go out to eat literally once a year, and make sure they do it on a holiday so they can feel powerful by forcing a restaurant to serve them, then complain about the price and stiff my servers? Am I pumped to barely break even, even though the restaurant will be packed from ten am until close, because those same people staunchly refuse to pay more than eighty bucks a head to stuff themselves silly? Am I pumped to listen to my staff complain all day, despite the fact that when each of them was hired, they were told in no uncertain terms that they would be working holidays?” Elijah clicked his pen closed loudly, stood to let Greyson through, and sat with him in tandem, his face set in anger the whole time. “No, Grey. I am not, in fact, pumped.”

Greyson broke their eye contact to wake his computer, the lecture obviously unexpected. “Clearly I should’ve read the room before opening my mouth,” he said, glancing back over at his boss briefly. “My bad, boss.”

Elijah, embarrassed that he’d let himself sink into such a state about something as stupid as a holiday service, pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Fuck. Sorry, Grey. You just caught me at a bad moment. I had two servers call out for today, I’m fuckin’ sweating because we really need everyone here for Thursday and neither of them are sure they’ll be good to come back in two days.”

“Hmm,” Greyson hummed, his eyebrows threading together. “That’s weird. I had Victor and Elise call out on my way in.”

Elijah felt his heart thump in his temple. “Did they say why?”

“I didn’t ask,” Greyson said, turning his chair to face his boss. “But I guess I should’ve. Did the servers say why they couldn’t come in?”

“Some sort of fever-cold thing, is what Jason said he had. Ashley just said she felt like shit.” Elijah pressed his fingers into his eye and sighed. “I need a cigarette. Care to join?”

Greyson, never one to turn down nicotine in any form, stood from his chair. “Thought you’d never ask,” he said.

The two of them walked through the empty kitchen in silence, Elijah entirely too wrapped in his own thoughts to continue their conversation. There was an ongoing joke, a trope, at this point, about holidays in the restaurant; everyone was always sick for them. Last Easter, the servers all had bronchitis, and a couple of Valentine’s days ago, Greyson had so many cooks call out with the stomach flu that they’d had to hire last-minute temps to fill in on the line. Despite doing nearly 300 covers, they barely made enough to cover the immense labor that seven temps on a holiday cost.

“Lij,” Greyson said as the two of them stepped out the back door and sat on the milk crates littering the loading dock, “it’s not going to be like Valentine’s. I can see your fuckin’ gears turning.” The chef pulled a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket, handed his boss one, and lit them both up. “Relax.”

Silence, once again, fell upon them as they smoked and watched fat snowflakes disintegrate on the asphalt. Elijah hoped that Greyson was right, that everything would be fine and he was overreacting ��� but he knew better than to hope. More likely than not, it was going to be what it always was on holidays: a shit show.

Matt and Mark, hand-in-hand until they spotted their bosses by the door, turned the corner and waved to their counterparts in tandem like well-trained circus animals. Elijah couldn’t help but smile as their fingers unwove from one another.

“Morning,” Elijah called, stubbing out his cigarette. Greyson did the same, and the two of them stood to let the younger men into the building.

“Aren’t you freezing?” Mark asked rubbing his hands together as he pushed the door open. Elijah shrugged as he held the door open for the other two and walked in behind them.

“My rage keeps me warm,” he said, prompting a laugh from Greyson and an eye roll from the younger men. “How’re you guys?”

Mark shot a look at Matt as they all walked towards the office at the front of the kitchen. “I’m well,” he said, pointedly. Elijah nearly stopped in his tracks when he glimpsed Matt glaring at his boyfriend.

“Matt…?” Greyson asked, an attempt at giving his sous chef a get-out-of-jail-free card. There was silence as the three of them turned, expectantly, towards Matt.

“I’mb good,” the sous said, his voice cracking on the second syllable. Elijah audibly groaned, Mark winced, and Greyson bit his cheek to keep from laughing at the absurdity.

“Well, you certainly sound great,” Greyson said, palming Matt’s shoulder aggressively. “Would you like to go home and sleep that off?”

“Yes, he -”

“Ndo,” Matt said, cutting Mark off and shooting him a look. “I wandt to help prep.I’mb – hh! hh’NGTSH-uh!” Matt turned and pulled his coat up over the bottom half of his face to sneeze, then quickly gathered himself and stood up straight. “I’mb fine,” he said, convincing no one.

Elijah closed his eyes briefly and sighed through his nose; fortunately or unfortunately, he knew exactly why Matt hadn’t called off.

The week prior, Elijah and Greyson had dolled out raises and bonuses for the staff; this year was Matt’s fifth as sous chef. Greyson had basically written a dissertation of why his sous chef should be given a new title – Executive Sous – along with a significant raise and bonus. It hadn’t taken much convincing; Elijah knew exactly how hard Matt worked, and staying at the same restaurant as a sous chef for five years was nearly unheard of in this city, especially for someone as young as Matt. He and Greyson had agreed that Matt’s loyalty to the restaurant deserved to be compensated, and had surprised him before his day off with the new title and pay.

Matt had been surprised – shocked was probably a better word for it, honestly – and had confided in Elijah after Greyson had dipped early to meet up with a date that he felt like he didn’t deserve the raise.

“You do,” Elijah had said, laughing lightly. “We wouldn’t have given it to you if you didn’t deserve it.”

The younger man had shaken his head. “I just… I mean, Greyson is here way more than me. I get two days off mostly, and he doesn’t let me work longer than ten hours. And I love it here, you guys don’t need to, like, worry about me leaving if that’s what this is about.”

Elijah had given Matt a confused look. “Greyson should be here more than you, first of all he’s a partner, not just the chef, and secondly, he gets paid very well to be here eighty hours a week. That’s his choosing. You’re his employee – if you were here as much as he was and getting paid significantly less, that wouldn’t be fair. And we’re glad you love it here, but that’s not why we gave you the raise. We gave it to you because you’re a hard worker, and you deserve to be compensated for what you do.” Elijah had smiled at Matt, patted his knee, and finished with, “Don’t sell yourself short.”

Matt had just smiled back and nodded, but Elijah knew he hadn’t changed his mind about ‘being undeserving’. Elijah knew, via background checks that were performed by his off-site HR company, and via Mark being a blabbermouth the second he got a glass of wine in him, that Matt had been a bit of a troubled kid; he’d been bounced from one foster home to another as a kid, and then one juvenile detention hall to another as a teenager. Only when he’d dropped out of high school and gotten a job as a dishwasher at a Denny’s did he finally decide it was time to shape up. He’d worked his way into the diner’s kitchen, then a slightly nicer kitchen, and when he was 20, he’d shown up at the front door of Elliot’s in an ill-fitting suit with a speech about how he was ready to work somewhere that he could hone his passion, even if they couldn’t pay him a dime. Greyson had hired him on the spot, not even consulting Elijah, despite only having been the executive chef for a few months.

Elijah knew Matt felt that he owed Greyson, not the other way around, and this promotion and raise was the nail in that coffin of doubt. He knew there was no way Matt would go home, no matter how shitty he felt.

Greyson just shrugged at his sous chef’s denial of being sick. “If you want to stay, I’m not going to make you leave,” he said, walking into the office and changing from his sweatshirt into his chef’s coat. “Just don’t sneeze on the food.”

Matt rolled his eyes and stripped off his jacket to put his own chef’s coat on. “Yes, Chef,” he said, coughing into his elbow. Mark and Elijah exchanged sidelong looks.

“Are you feeling okay?” Elijah asked his junior manager. Mark smirked, hiked his laptop bag further onto his shoulder, and started towards the dining room – his makeshift office.

“Never better, boss,” he said, pushing through the swinging doors. “Never better.”

***

“So, is he coming in tomorrow?”

Greyson lolled his head to the side, hands still on his keyboard, and deadpanned Elijah. “The fuck do you think?”

Elijah pulled a hand down his face and nodded. “Yeah, okay, just wanted to check.”

While Matt had been relatively fine the first few hours of the shift, by the time the last guests had eaten, the sous had been so staunchly miserable that Greyson had marched his ass into the office, thrown his jacket over his shoulders, and pointed towards the back door. “Go. Home. Now.”

“Chef, I – HTSHH! Hh-! GTSH-uh!” Matt wrenched to the side, collapsing into a post-sneeze coughing fit that made the cooks flinch from five yards away.

“You’re not fine,” Greyson insisted. “You’re sick, and you’re going to get everyone else sick.”

Matt nodded, miserable, and hung his head. “Sorry, Chef,” he muttered, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his jacket.

“Go,” Greyson said. “And come back when you’re well.”

Mark had taken Matt home in an Uber, and the cooks and servers had been able to leave relatively early, which left Elijah, Greyson, and a bottle of whiskey between them on the desk to figure out how they were going to handle the rest of the week.

Greyson sighed and reached for the bottle as he pushed away from his computer screen. He took a long pull and handed the bottle to Elijah, who followed suit. “I just… I don’t understand why he’d come in that sick,” Greyson said, pulling his hair to the top of his head and securing it with a rubber band from their drawer of office supplies. Elijah had to pull the bottle away from his lips to laugh. “What?” Greyson asked.

“You, of all people, can’t understand why he came in sick?” Elijah asked, incredulous. “You?”

“What do you mean me?” Greyson asked, snatching the bottle back. “If anything, he learned it from watching you.”

“Oh, spare me, Greyson,” Elijah rolled his eyes. “For awhile there, you literally came in sick three weeks a month.”

Greyson scoffed. “At least I’ve never passed out on the kitchen floor.”

“Yes, you have.”

“No, I almost passed out. You actually fuckin’ swooned. Collapsed in a puddle. Full damsel in distress.” Greyson took another pull and placed the bottle back on the desk. “So don’t come for me unless I send for you.”

Elijah guffawed at this. “Who taught you that saying?” he asked. Greyson shrugged.

“I heard one of the servers using it. I like it.”

“The servers are twenty years old, you dinosaur. The last thing they want is Grandpa Greyson using their jargon.”

“Fuck off, if anyone here is a grandpa it’s…” Greyson stopped suddenly, held up a finger, let his eyes flutter shut, then let out a shaky breath. “Fuck, that’s annoying.” He rubbed his nose on the back of his hand, then raised an eyebrow at his boss, whose face had drawn into concern. “What?”

“What was that?” Elijah asked, glancing over at the bottle of whiskey they’d spent the past hour sharing.

“I just thought I was going to – oh,” Greyson’s eyes widened. “No, dude, relax, I’m totally fine. I feel great.”

“‘Buzzed’ and ‘great’ are two different things, Grey,” Elijah said. He reached up to feel Greyson’s forehead, prompting the chef to lean back in his chair.

“Great as in healthy,” he insisted, shooing Elijah’s hand away. “Seriously, I’d let you know if I – HRRTSHHH-ue!” He caught the sneeze in his elbow – barely – and choked back an irritated cough. From the crook of his arm, he heard Elijah swear.

“I’m going to end your fuckin’ life, I swear to God,” Elijah muttered, pushing the bottle further onto Greyson’s side of the desk. “You let me drink from the same bottle as you, you dick.”

“I’m fine, Elijah, Christ it was one sneee – hh! - hh…” Greyson tipped his head back in anticipation, then lowered and shook it when the feeling once again dissipated. “See? Totally fine.” He sniffled – convincing, Grey – and immediately changed course. “Plus, it’s alcohol. It’s an antiseptic.”

“It one million percent is not,” Elijah said, rubbing his temples in defeat. “Greyson, you cannot be sick. We cannot be sick. How the hell are we going to be able to run Thanksgiving?”

“Elijah,” Greyson said, “listen. I am fine. Everything is going to be just fi – ITSHH-ue!” Greyson pitched forward into his palm and cringed. Elijah, begrudgingly, slammed the box of tissues they kept on a side table in front of the chef.

“Bless you,” he said while Greyson cleaned himself up. “And, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: fuck. You.”

***

“Hhh-! Huh… hnnn.”

“Bless you.”

“Oh, screw you, Lij,” Greyson muttered for the millionth time that day. He grabbed what felt like his hundredth tissue and blew his nose – only for the feeling to reignite. “Huhhh! Hhh...hh… guhh.” Greyson rubbed his nose again and angrily spiked the tissue into the trash can beneath his prep station.

“Bless you,” Elijah said again, mocking.

“You kndow,” Greyson said, turning towards his boss, who was seated in the office, not looking Greyson’s way. “Karma is going to combe for you for being an asshole to mbe.”

At this, Elijah glanced towards Greyson. “Karma? No, karma is having a cold and not being able to sneeze because you let your friend drink out of the same bottle as you when you knew you were getting sick. That’s karma, and you got what was coming to you.”

“Fuuhhh! Huh! Hh...fuck,” Greyson grumbled, coughing into his shoulder.

“Karma is also giving your sous chef a lecture about being sick at work, only to be get sick and have to come into work because you’re technically the most well of all the sick cooks and chefs.”

“Are you finished?” Greyson asked, throwing his hands in the air. “I get it. And to be fair, I did ndot kndow I was getting sick.” The chef sucked in painfully through his nose and collapsed into coughs once again.

“Mmhmm,” Elijah mumbled. When it seemed like Greyson wasn’t going to be able to stop the coughing, he took pity and got up to make the chef tea.

“Here,” Elijah said, slamming a paper cup in front of Greyson. “Drink it. Sickie.”

Greyson, unable to come up with a proper comeback, just did as he was told. “How mbany on the books tonight?” he croaked. Elijah sighed, pulled up his phone, and slid it towards Greyson. “Fuck,” Greyson said when he saw the number.

“All the people in the city who aren’t coming in tomorrow decided tonight was the night, apparently,” Elijah said, taking his phone back and putting it in his pocket. “Are you going to be okay?” he asked, in earnest.

Greyson nodded. “It’s ndot too bad,” he said, taking another sip of tea. “Just wish I could fuckigg sndeeze.”

Elijah huffed out a laugh. “You’re sure you don’t want to call Matt in?”

“Definitely no – hh! Huh...hhhITSHHHZUE! Oh thank fuckigg God – HUHHESTCH-ue! Hh! Hnn...HuhhhETSCHH-ue! HTSSHH-ue!”

Elijah whistled, long and low, and pushed the box of tissues towards Greyson. “Wow,” he said. “Bless.”

Greyson rolled his eyes as he took a handful of tissues and cleaned himself up. “See?” he said once he’d thrown them away and washed his hands, “Good as new. HTSSHH-ue!”

Elijah chuckled. “Sure, Chef,” he said, moving towards the doors to the dining room. “Whatever you say.”

***

In his thirty-nine years on earth, Elijah had learned a lot about himself. He’d learned that he was a hothead, and he had to really think about the repercussions of what was going to come out of his mouth if he wanted to keep the person he was talking to in his life. He’d learned that he was incapable of whistling, juggling, or any other party trick – but he could pull out a fantastic rendition of Queen’s Somebody to Love during karaoke, and that was enough to make him seem like he was fun at parties. He’d learned that he loved to have his own space, and should he ever find a partner, he knew they’d have to have separate bedrooms. And he had learned exactly what it felt like when he was getting sick.

Like… really sick.

When Greyson said things like, “I didn’t know I was getting sick,” it truly did not register to Elijah. Maybe it was because Greyson’s illnesses always seemed to be some sort of mixed bag – starting differently every time, with symptoms that varied wildly – or maybe it was because he just didn’t tune in to how he was feeling. Greyson always said he basically tried to ignore his body until it forced him to pay attention; maybe that was something that Elijah needed to attempt. Because Elijah… Elijah knew exactly when and how badly he was getting sick every single time.

It had started that afternoon, mere hours after he’d given Greyson shit about exposing him to this illness, the way it always did – with the type of sore throat that made you feel weak in your knees. Elijah had swallowed, then immediately felt dizzy with the pain that surged in his throat. Oh, he thought, touching his neck. Oh, no.

He was, of course, a creature of habit and attempted all his usual ways to quell the pain – cups of tea hidden in paper sleeves, lozenges he hoped Greyson was too stuffed up to smell on his breath, handfuls of ibuprofen – to no avail. By the time dinner service came around he could hear the rasp in his voice and, despite the ibuprofen, could feel the ache in his joints that meant he’d already made it to stage two; fever.

This was how he knew he was going to be down badly. If he could ride the sore throat past the fever and straight into congestion, he might be able to get away with just a normal cold. But if that fever set in before any other symptoms, it was all over.

“Yo,” Greyson said, approaching his boss post pre-shift. “Cand we quickly talk about the semantics of tomborrow’s buffet before people get here?”

Elijah lifted his heavy head from his pre-shift notes and blinked in Greyson’s direction. “Okay,” he said, brilliantly. Greyson’s eyebrows knit together, concerned.

“You good?” he asked, rubbing his nose on the back of his hand. Elijah nodded slowly – surely, if Greyson was able to push through this illness with such ease, he was just being a baby about it. He swallowed through the knives in his throat and nodded.

“Just a headache,” he said. “What do you want to talk through?”

“Just wanted to see how mbany cooks you think I should have on the buffehh....ETSZHCHH-ue!” Greyson directed a massive sneeze into his elbow, and Elijah’s head about exploded with pain.

“Christ,” Elijah muttered, pressing his palm into his eye. Greyson muffled a cough into his sleeve and shook his head to clear it.

“Fuck, ‘scuse mbe,” he said, looking back at his boss. “Umb. Did I get you or something?”

Something like that, Elijah thought as he shook his head. “No,” he said. “You’re just loud, and my head hurts.” He pulled out his phone, looked at the cover spread for the next day, and said, “Three cooks on the buffet. One for omelets, one for prime rib carving, one for dessert bar.” He looked up at Greyson for his confirmation. “What?” he asked.

“You just… look like you’re in pain,” Greyson said, carefully. “Did you take -?”

“Yes, I took ibuprofen,” Elijah cut him off. “Go make sure your guys are ready for tonight. Take a decongestant so they can understand you. I’ll be back there in a minute.”

Greyson pursed his lips, but didn’t argue. “Yes, sir,” he said, and left Elijah to brood.

By some stroke of luck, the third inevitable stage of Elijah’s illness didn’t hit him until after they’d finished service. He was checking the lead server’s station so she could go home, when suddenly it felt like a thousand bees collected in his sinuses.

“Yeah, looks good Riley, thanks, see you in the mo – IGTSHH-uhh! HSTSH-ue! HhhhINTSZH-ue!” Elijah wrenched to the side, the sneezes so sudden he barely had time to cover his mouth.

“Yikes,” Riley said, taking a step away from her boss. “Bless you.”

“Thanks,” Elijah muttered, pinching his nose to quell the itch.

“You pick up whatever has everyone else out this week?” she asked, taking off her apron. Elijah shook his head.

“It’s nothing,” he said. “Have a good night.”

With all the servers gone, Elijah slunk back into the kitchen and sunk into his office chair, his head in his hands. He was not prepared to do a whole holiday service feeling like this. This was nightmarish, and he’d only felt sick for nine hours. Tomorrow? Tomorrow was going to be -

“Hey, bless you,” Elijah sat up and turned around at the accusation to see Greyson standing at the office door with his arms crossed. “Could’ve heard those from fuckin’ space.”

Elijah rolled his eyes, painfully. “Whatever,” he said, powering his computer up to finish the night’s paperwork. “You’re one to talk, I don’t think you’ve gone three seconds without -”

“HRRSHH-oo!” Greyson cut him off with a comically-timed sneeze directed into the collar of his shirt.

“-that,” Elijah finished.

Greyson grabbed a tissue and wiped his nose. “Yeah, but it’s been well-established that I have a cold. I was under the impression that you were still -”

“HTSHH! HRSHH! Huh-! HuhhESTZHH-ue!” Elijah once again collapsed in on himself, head both buzzing and pounding, the explosive sneezes grating the back of his throat.

“- well,” Greyson finished, and moved into the office to sit by his boss. Just as Elijah looked up from his lap, Greyson slapped a hand on his forehead.

“Enough,” Elijah said, pushing Greyson’s palm off. Greyson put both his palms on his knees and gave Elijah a knowing look.

“So, you’ve been sick all day, or…?”

“Greyson,” Elijah said, clearing his throat, “I’m fine.”

“You have a fever, Lij. Like, a pretty significant one.”

He knew, and he had known, but the words made Elijah’s eyes well and his throat close all the same. God, he hated having a fucking fever and all the stupid, ridiculous emotions that went along with it. Elijah took a breath, closed his eyes to collect himself, and addressed the chef.

“I’m not feeling 100%,” he said. “But I will be fine. You are sick – if I’m not 100%, then you must be at like 10% at this point.”

“I don’t have a fever,” Greyson pointed out, taking Elijah’s hand and placing it on his cool head. “See?”

Elijah bit his cheek to keep from snapping. “Alright,” he said. “Whatever. Still, you need to go home; it’s a big day tomorrow.”

“I will when you do,” Greyson said, shrugging. Elijah, completely spent, and done arguing, just turned off his computer – paperwork be damned for the night.

“Fine,” he said, putting his hands up in surrender. “Let’s call it a night.”

Greyson, clearly confused, just raised an eyebrow and nodded. “Alright boss,” he said, grabbing his jacket. “See you tomorrow.”

***

If there was one thing Greyson knew about Elijah, it was this: if you wanted him to admit defeat, you had to corner him.

When he woke up at oh-dark-thirty that morning, Greyson felt lucky that he was no worse for the wear then he was the night before. Was he stuffed-up to the gills? Yes. Did he have an incessant, grating cough? Yeah. But ultimately, it was a cold, and he’d work through far worse many more times.

So, despite the fact that it was still dark out, Greyson donned his hoodie and set out for the restaurant. On the way to the early-morning subway, he called Matt.

“...Hello?” Matt answered on the third ring. “Chef?”

“Mbornin’ sunshine,” Greyson said, coughing into the receiver. “How’re you feeling?”

“Uh…” Matt said, attempting to gather his bearings. “Better. Am I supposed to be at the restaurant now? I thought I was scheduled at eight.” Greyson heard him push back a blanket and plant his feet on the floor. “You sound like shit, by the way. Sorry about that.”

“Inevitable,” Greyson said, a brush-off. “And you aren’t scheduled til eight, but I have sombe very important, pre-work, Executive Sous shit I ndeed your help with.”

“Sure, boss,” Matt said, and Greyson could hear him changing clothes, using mouthwash, and whispering goodbye to Mark. “Anything you need.”

“Good man,” Greyson said, pausing at the top of the subway steps. “Could you pick up cough drops, Mucinex, and a hot water bottle, if you see one? Oh, and a real blanket. I’ll Venmo you some mboney.”

“Uh, sure, boss. Is this… for you?”

“Not for me,” Greyson said, coughing into his sleeve. “For Elijah. He’s down bad.”

“Oh. Oh, shit,” Matt said. “Yeah, okay, for sure boss. Whatever you need.”

“Thanks, mban. Hey, I’mb about to head down to the subway, text mbe if you have any – hh! HTSHH-ue! Fuck, sorry,” Greyson wiped his nose on the back of his hand. “Mbaybe grab more tissues while you’re there,” he amended.

“Sure, Chef. Bless.”

“You’re the best, Mbatt. Always knew you’d make a perfect number two.”

Greyson could hear the eye roll through the phone. “Don’t get sappy, old man,” Matt said. “See you soon.”

***

To say Elijah felt like shit would’ve been the understatement of the century.

When he woke up that morning, Elijah was fairly sure he was dying. The fever he’d crawled into bed with hadn’t budged, his sinuses were packed, and he’d officially acquired the final gem on his sick-as-fuck gauntlet: the cough. This day was going to be absolute hell.

Elijah did his level best to get ready for the busy service; he managed to take about half a shower before he had to sit down, dizzy from exertion; he’d gotten one contact in before sneezing so hard he almost poked his eye out and settled on glasses; he’d even found the strength to put on a pair of pants, though a button down was entirely too much for his shaking hands, so he settled on a cardigan that looked passable enough. God he hoped the servers – and Mark – would be able to hold down the fort out front, because this was nothing short of tragic.

Unwilling to deal with the subway and unable to drive safely in this state, Elijah settled on calling an Uber to work. It was early, a little before eight, but he knew if he didn’t get there now, he’d never make it.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” the driver said, leaving Elijah to immediately regret his decision not to drive. “Pretty early to be up and at ‘em. You heading to see family?”

Elijah cleared his throat as best he could before begrudgingly responding to the driver. “Ndot quite,” he said, his voice strained and congested. “Worki – HGSTHH-ue! HRSSH! ETSZCH-uh!” Elijah attempted to hold back the sneezes, unsuccessfully. Sans any tissues, he wiped his nose on his sweater sleeve. “Excuse mbe, sorry.”

“Working and sick on a holiday?” the driver said, shaking his head. “That’s rough, man. Bless you.”

Elijah’s face flamed, but he was in no state to deny. “Yeah,” he said instead. “Thangks.”

The rest of the drive was in blessed silence, and Elijah made sure to tip the guy extra for being exposed to whatever plague he was walking around with. When he finally pushed through the back door of the restaurant, Elijah felt like he’d already lived a lifetime today; he really wasn’t sure how much he’d be able to take.

“Elijah!” Greyson’s voice reached him before Elijah could even see his face. “Happy Thanksgiving, you sick old fuck!”

Elijah turned the corner and almost burst into tears – there stood Greyson, his face pale and nose bright red, and Matt and Mark looking no better, outside of his office; his office that had been, essentially, turned into a cozy-looking bedroom.

There were blankets on the floor, the chairs removed, and medicine on the desk. The harsh office light had been shut off, and instead one of the lamps from the host stand glowed gently from behind the computer. And, perhaps most heart-rendering, in Greyson’s hand was a bowl of steaming soup, and in Matt’s, a cup of tea.

“I know you hate working the holidays, and feeling like shit is just insult to injury,” Greyson said, setting down the bowl so he could guide Elijah into the office. “So we thought we’d mbake it just a little less shitty.”

Elijah allowed himself to be lead in, unable to find the words to thank his friend. He turned into his elbow to cough, a welcome respite from the tears he could feel threatening to spill over. “Grey,” he said when he’d gathered himself. “I… this is so… you guys…” he swallowed around the lump in his throat and shook his head. “I don’t kndow what to say,” he said, looking up at Greyson. “Thangk you.”

“Ah, save it,” Greyson said, placing a hand on his friend’s back. “You’re always looking after us. Call it our Thanksgiving to you.”

Elijah smiled a little, punched Greyson’s arm lightly, and allowed himself to be pulled into a hug. Heading to see family? the Uber driver had asked him. Maybe he had been, after all.

[dramaticvhs]

5 sterek fic recs

here are some fics I've read recently that I encourage you to check out!! I've enjoyed all of them immensely and I hope you will too :)

all are completed unless stated otherwise. please check tags before you read, some contain sensitive content.

Thirty Messages by Julibean19

(Teen and Up, 16k, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

“Look. I think my friend is obsessed with you… or your cell phone at the very least. And if your stupid fucking voice saying the same two words is all he’s ever gonna have of you, then you have to let him go. You don’t let him get attached and you don’t drag it out. If you hurt him, or lead him on, even just a little bit, I swear to God I will kill you. So call him back, and end it.”

In which Derek leaves town with Cora, and Stiles thinks he might be going insane... because no one would leave this many rambling voicemails for someone they weren't even dating... right?

what a big heart i have (better to love you with) by crazyassmurdererwall (smartalli)

(Teen and Up, 20k, No Archive Warnings Apply)

Stiles has a massive thing for Derek Hale.

This is not news. Stiles, after all, has been carrying a torch for Derek ever since they bumped into each other at a taco cart at the start of his freshman year.

But what is news? With no hope of ever capturing Derek’s attention, Stiles is thinking it might be time to let that torch go. Try to let it burn out.

(Derek might have something to say about that.)

Derek Didn't Know What To Do But Maybe Stiles Did by tiedtogetherwithadagger

(Teen and Up, 13k, No Archive Warnings Apply)

He let his head fall onto Stiles’ shoulder with a sigh of relief. He wasn't losing his pack, at least not tonight. Erica would be okay.

“Thank you,” Derek exhaled into Stiles’ hoodie.

“Always,” Stiles said.

Pack Up; Don't Stray by the_deep_magic

(Explicit, 55k, No Archive Warnings Apply)

AU – Werewolves are an enslaved underclass, collared and tagged by human masters. Detective Stilinski’s on duty the night they bring in an untagged stray.

Bad Dreams by Smowkie

(Mature, 5.7k, Graphic Depictions of Violence)

The sword glinted in the moonlight and Stiles groaned as he twisted it in his dad’s stomach.

“Please stop,” John said weakly, blood trickling down his cheek. “Please, Stiles, stop.”

It felt so good, though, and Stiles sucked in a breath as the euphoric rush of pain and fear from his dad filled him. He grinned and John flinched. “I don’t think I will,” Stiles said.

Stiles woke up with a gasp and he sat up and pushed the cover off himself, sweat making his t-shirt cling to his torso. Counting his fingers he slowly started to breathe normally again, and when the panic attack wasn’t threatening to take over he rubbed his face and looked at the time. 4 am. Well, three hours of sleep was better than nothing.

I made this list a month ago and forgot to post it... oops.. If you're up to it I always love finding new fics so a comment or reblog with your favorite fics are welcome. also my dms are open for recs :) I'm trying to figure out how to set up my ask box which is not easy in my silly little brain, but maybe it'll be open for recs soon

[sillymaxing]

Hi silly! :3 What would Tords opinion be on the other three? Or Paul + Pat? Any past problems left unhealed, or perhaps problems to be elaborated on in future asks?

Hello! This is how Tord feels about everyone! I’ll probably do more characters another time :3

CW: Mentions and references to Tord getting hit by his instructor.

Starting with how he feels about Edd.

Tord never really had any issues with the guy. He was a pleasant roommate, and they used to get along pretty well.

Even when coming back, Edd and Tord are pretty chill!

But everything shifts when Edd forms the Resistance. Tord was honestly ready to just take Edd in, make him a solider, and keep tabs on him. Tord really did plan to treat him well.

Despite Edd actively trying to destroy the Red Army, Tord genuinely admires his determination and wit.

Tord does in fact feel betrayed by Edd, but assumes the other also feels betrayed.

Okay. Tord HATES Tom.

Kinda

Thinks Tom is stubborn, stupid, rude, unpleasant, unmotivated.

But SO insanely strong. Especially with the monster abilities.

Tord does feel a bit bad for all of the experiments, but he really can’t be bothered to try and make Tom feel at home.

Unless Tom decides to start cooperating. Maybe then Tord will let up on him a little.

They never got along in the first place

Tord genuinely cares for Matt. And Matt has seemed very accepting of the idea of joining Tord.

Matt doesn’t seem to have any internal drive or heavy ambition, but he can get tasks done pretty well.

He’s always been kind to Tord. He has a great personality, and always lightens up the mood.

Overall, they’re friends.

They just don’t talk about Matt’s face. Ever.

Tord is besties with Patryck.

I’m not even exaggerating when I say besties.

They are genuinely best friends. Pat has been there for Tord over and over and over again, always providing emotional and mental support.

Pat is always taking tasks and work off of Tord’s hands.

Tord admires Pat in every single way, and is immensely inspired by him.

They are literally two peas in a pod. They are tight as fuck.

Tord sees Paul as an older brother/mentor figure.

Tord has INSANE respect for Paul.

Like will literally stand at attention with the rest of his army if Paul is commanding.

Paul took Tord under his wing. It was rough and stressful at first. Physical discipline from Paul hurt. Tord had been hit before, but holy shit Paul had a strong hand.

Tord is loyal to Paul until he fucking dies.

[cherish--these--times]

i just want to tell you how much i loved your post on media literacy & tedbecca!! really well put and what i hope reasonable fans not on our side would read so they’d realize where we come from! 💜

You absolute sweetheart. Thank you for telling me that. I should have been kinder in my approach but I am simply appalled, and sick and tired by a lot of people and now Brendan Hunt (not even gonna mispell his name, I'm fucking mad) for claiming that wanting Ted and Rebecca to get together was purely us silly fans being girly girls conditioned to want the male and female leads to end up together, so we could spice up our dull little lives with some sweet sweet Disney romance. I am INCENSED. I have seen quite a few queer people here rooting for them as well, which makes this reasoning even more offensive. Also to claim that he was surprised people would take it so personally is hilarious to me. Dude... have you ever been a fan of anything before??? Don't you know how much stories matter to people?? Wasn't it the goal when you made this show????

What antis don't seem to understand is that nobody in the TedBecca fandom was claiming that there were any romantic feelings between Ted and Rebecca. That would be insane because it just wasn't the case.

However, anybody with a modicum of critical thinking could see that they were playing with romcom tropes with them. But that's not even why I think most of us began to think we were heading there. What the writers did, in what remains a beautiful, masterful way, was lead the audience paying enough attention to understand that they were MEANT to be together. In a way far more profound than mere infatuation or physical attraction. No. They were each other's guarantee of true, long-lasting happiness. That's what they've established. Because they were similar in fundamental ways (a bit silly and immensely kind for instance). They had gone through similar things, including life-defining traumas on the same fucking day, at the same fucking time, and therefore could provide the other with all the support, the care, the devotion that the other needed. And they were doing just that! They could even communicate without words. They were undoubtedly making the other greater, which is exactly what Higgins wanted for Beard and Jane. They just had not realised it yet. Better still, I thought it was fabulous to have them go on their healing journey first, reach the top of the mountain, and THEN have them realise they were the love of each other's life. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CONCEPT. Truly a spectacular story, and one they hinted at RELENTLESSLY. And until the very end. When in truth, they could have stopped this many moons ago by having Rebecca meet a nice, sweet guy (not Dutch guy, fuck him, he was creepy as hell) as soon as series 1 ended and be done with it. But no. Ooooh no. They kept that shit going until the very last episode. Even Rebecca begging Ted to stay was yet another romcom trope they dangled under our nose. They shot themselves in the foot with that one too, because Ted's determination to leave felt even more stupid and irrational when perfect solutions were handed to him on a silver platter by her (OUT OF LOVE). No wonder he didn't say a word, because nothing he could have said would have realistically justified his departure after what she offered. Nope. He kept his mouth shut because the true answer he had was: "I don't want to leave but the writers insist I must be this Magical Being that comes into people's lives to make them better and then go away in a poof of smoke and glitter. Mostly glitter. Ain't that a damn shame. I appreciate you, though."

To claim their story was never intended to be understood as such and say it was all on us for making shit up is simply untrue (and insulting, and you can fuck off). It was all there. Beautifully woven through every episode, in subtle but undeniable ways. Using, one could argue, The Lasso Way. A series of imperceptible moments all leading to the inevitable conclusion. Even this, I thought, was another hint……

And yeah, on top of that, I am FUMING over the misdirects (Bantr texting and matchbook in Ted's pocket, the latter really making my blood boil) and Dutch Guy being shamelessly Ted-coded (and all of a sudden everybody was overjoyed because he was the perfect guy for her even though everything he did that day, Ted had already done first. Minus the kiss on the ankle, offering her a foot massage and shaming her into drinking because that was fucking creepy and also Ted would never bad-mouth his ex).

I do take some comfort in seeing now a couple of articles online denouncing the way we, as an audience, were treated. You know, people who have media literacy, unlike us, apparently??

I'm angry, annoyed, insulted, but mostly I'm just sad. Because they ruined that show for a lot of people, including myself, and a few of their own characters in the process.

[yuukei-yikes]

What’s your opinion on Harushin (Haruka and Shintaro)? Can be either platonic or romantic

i love that u had to clarify who they are LMAOOO

hmm well i don't like them romantically. when it comes to the yuukei quartet ships I'd put them at the bottom 💔 mostly cuz i just dont ship haruka with anyone other than takane (but for some reason i pass takane around like a blunt) and also it means a lot to me that the reason haruka recognizes he loves takane is bc he defines shintaro as a friend but feels sad putting takane in the same category bc of the different feelings she entails.

and I HAVE THIS PET PEEVE that is a bit silly and nuanced. and it implies a lil bit of jin bashing so TOTAL AND COMPLETE DISCLAIMER i love jin's work and his characters and i immensely respect everything he's done for this franchise he shares with us and clearly loves. that said fuck his misogynistic fucking writing

i could go on and on and on abt that but to answer this ask specifically, i just HATE that shintaro is so nice to haruka and he's just a total ass to ayano and takane for no goddamn reason. takane was SO nice to him at first, could u imagine the good buddies they would've been if shintaro was fucking normal. and shintaro LITERALLY stands in a 2 hour line at the festival just to insult her😭😭😭 he didn't even KNOW her. he's like "u act like this big shot bc all these ppl fawn over you" as if takane hadn't been literally sobbing miserably the whole afternoon precisely bc people were fawning over her and she found it mortifying. bc ofc he didnt know that!! LIKE WHAT WAS THE DAMN REASON HE DID THIS HES CRAZY i will never know what was going thru jin's mind writing that bit but ig all i can do is imagine shintaro was like GIRLS CANT PLAY GAMES *SHAKING* i know im always talking abt shintaro and takane's friendship and how much i love them but god the writing in the hs days is just inexcusable like shintaro is so damn unlikable. i hate when they put him and takane in the same level of irrational arguers bc truly takane is just fucking defending herself. how would u treat a person who didnt even give u a damn chance and just says all that shit to u first meeting. and she's also speaking for ayano too cuz her ass wont defend herself. and also haruka wont say anything. like takanes fighting for her life in here i 10000% support her actions as ene cuz man fuck that guy i find it insane she still cared for him anyway

and it pisses me off that then we see him in novel 6 being totally capable of being a decent fucking person to haruka. like seriously what's his damage. also idk japanese but i THINK shintaro speaks in a polite manner to haruka and not to ayano and takane. obligatory joke im gay not bc i like men but bc i hate women etc etc etc

i could rly go on abt how much it annoys me haruka and shintaro's friendship is super developed opposed to ayano and takane's pathetic dynamic that doesnt pass the already stupid bechdel test (i actually ranted a lil bit abt it on my side twitter a few days ago if you wanna read it LMAO) (it starts as a thread abt harutaka but then i get sidetracked cuz...yeah) BUT THIS IS ABT HARUKA AND SHINTARO SO. yeah u could excuse it with shintaro being the protag and ofc getting a lot more focus on his relationships but still. i kinda resent this aspect of their dynamic so i don't like the ship teehee i just... i think haruka is way too good for him sorry shintaro my man. i say this while shipping shinaya i know but to be fair i make them go through hell in my mind before they can properly be happy together if at all. bc when i start going off abt all this stuff i also start resenting shinaya LMAOOO sometimes i say i like it out of nostalgia but then their whole story together and how theyre literally always destined to find each other (holds head) ok. thats aside the point. i have a complicated relationship to shinaya. it's all abt drawing the line between author and creation and how much u can say augh author is being annoying and augh character is just an ass on purpose. and compared to the pov of all the other kagepro characters, u can indeed see that sexism shit in all of it (i could whip out examples in a second)but on shintaro it is noticeably worse LOL

and again im not blaming fictional characters for author's misogyny, like someone is writing this duuuh which is why haruka never points it out but FROM MY insane perspective i interpret it as haruka recognizing the pattern but he's so damn spineless he can't bring himself to stand up for ayano and takane. he probably makes some comments that shintaro just dimisses and haruka is too nervous to bring them up again *me going off abt the internalized misogyny of fictional characters headcanoned based on the author being misogynistic*

ERM. ANOTHER REMINDER I LOVE KAGEPRO AND I RESPECT JIN FOREVER BC HE IS THE CREATOR OF ALL MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS. but also lol. doesn't mean i cant point out some of this stuff yknooooow

uhhh soooo platonic wise i love them. but its also not my favorite dynamic to explore, id repeat some of the stuff ive already written, it does bother me shintaro is Normal to haruka and not to ayano and takane and haruka acts like nothing. it's just a big thing that annoys me generally abt them lol and i find it tough to separate from author like i normally would with these weird things he includes because this bit is just a whole dynamic you know?? i could.... go on abt this but um. sorry ive been talking for a while. its definitely something im kinda bitter about in the writing.

but still they're definitely sweet, and i understand the appeal completely!!! these are just My thoughts i think its 2023 and i wont get death threats for not liking a ship anymore but also haruka is shintaro's bisexual awakening that is for damn sure. i like entertaining the onesided concept. shintaro being like hahahaha what if we kisssed like ayano and takane apparently did and haruka is like No thanks.

[infernallies]

oh man. 911 S6B is amazing so far. in a flash was a bit. Hm. Strange. the editing didn’t help either 😭 BUT it was good setup for what was to come!! and then - in another life?? recovery???? FUCKING AMAZING. im so happy with the direction they’re taking the show in!!!!

i still have some gripes with the way it feels like the dialogue is a bit less natural and more platitude-y. their usual back and forth feels forced at times, and it just.. disappoints me. it used to be 911’s strongest point, and it just sticks out so much now. but maybe that’s just me? feel free to tell me if im wrong 🥲

BUCK’S ENTIRE COMA DREAM ALTERNATE REALITY RAAAAHHHHHHH IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOL the tk dream episode is cool this coma dream episode is cool its so cool how different it is from the usual 911 episode formats IT STANDS OUT IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE!!!!!!!! you get so excited when they suddenly change it up it was so strange and fun and awesome….. ASSHOLE BOBBY YOU WILL BE IN MY HEART FOREVER. eugh doug made me nauseous. kill KILL KILL ermmmm daniel was silly. NOT THE DOCTOR ON SURGEON VIOLENCE GOING ON IN THE DINNER TABLE that was funny actually

i immensely appreciate the fleshing out of wendall and bobby’s relationship, and the full circle moment when bobby continued on wendall’s wonderful legacy of always helping when he saw someone who needed it. it is beautiful, truly, and im glad that his death - while absolutely tragic and devastating - lead to the saving of everyone in that rehab center. i was so angry that they killed off a character who i barely knew and was genuinely excited to get to know. but i feel comforted in the fact that it meant something now, that he saved them. that he didn’t go down without a fight. he saved bobby, he saved tamara, and it was all by being a kind, loving, selfless person. I LOVE HIM OK DONT TOUCH ME.

the buckley-han family debacle is - quite something. i dont know why the buckley parents are suddenly nice???? i mean its nice and all but????? where did this come from. chim is right it’s a bit erm suspicious ? but perhaps after jee they did some personal growth, we shall never know.

buckley sibs my everything, overbearing maddie my everything, HER SCHEDULING HER COWORKERS TO CHECK ON HER BROTHER NAHHH SHE’S DOING THE MOST

BUCK FEELING TIRED OF EVERYONE AND GOING TO EDDIE’S HOUSE TO HIDE AWAY GET AWAY FROM ME IM ABOUT TO GO INTO SICKO MODE THEYRE SO INSANE. Shut the fuck up eddie diaz your gayass haircut is making you even more annoying somehow i know it (AFFECTIONATE) (SO MUCH AFFECTION)

theyre suddenly TALKING ABOUT THE SHOOTING?!!???()))( EDDIE REMEMBERS NOTHING BUCK REMEMBERS EVERYTHING FUCK MY LIFE OR MAYBE EDDIE’S LYING AND HE DOESNT WANT TO SAY “i remember that you stared at me like you were the one who got shot” or something fucking gay and crazy like that they should be put down. sorry. love you guys.

ermmmmm wow i love 911 its stupid and dramatic as shit sometimes but i do truly love it and they did so good with buck and bobby im so happy i love them i adore them thank you for everything

[parchmentedpetrichor]

➳all the king's men ♡ ☾

in which all the king's men couldn't put the pieces of y/n l/n together. we all have the days where we're insecure and broken, this is one of hers.

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ±1.8k

tw: insecurity, bullying

please if you are having overly harmful thoughts about yourself, talk to a friend or a professional. you are perfect the way you are and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

drop a follow if you wanna see more of this content!!

my masterlist:D

it's so sad that the best people tend to think the worst of themselves

all the king's men

y/n, for lack of a better description, was feeling like humpty dumpty. she had seen herself in the mirror last night, and felt positively traumatised. she had come back from a quidditch practice session, and the results were quite terrifying.

she didn't understand. quidditch made the guys more toned and even a few of her teammates had abs. what did it do to her? well, it made her shoulders broad, which she thought was highly unattractive to anyone, and not at all slim! sure, it was fun and kept her fit, but terribly horrible, in her opinion, in trying to fit in to the beautiful girls that went to hogwarts.

she admired angie johnson and cho chang and ginny. she really did. y/n knew how hard it was to be beautiful, and she liked when other people were so beautifully beautiful. it just made her feel terrible, because what was the chance of her keeping her boyfriend in fred weasley when fiercely pretty girls were dancing elegantly around her?

there wasn't any time to be mopey and sad, so she gathered all her books and immediately went to breakfast. she didn't even bother going over to fred and greeting him. she saw how happy he was laughing with george and lee. surely she wouldn't bother him. instead she plopped down next to alicia.

"you ok?" alicia spinnet asked her.

she nodded, "fine."

"you sure?"

"no."

"wanna talk about it?"

"do you think it's too early to get plastic surgery?" y/n joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"what the fuck, no. what's up?" alicia's eyes were lit with concern.

"i don't feel pretty," her voice was but a whisper.

alicia caught it.

"why? you're literally adorable."

"you're my best friend, you're supposed to tell me that."

"hmm, nah, i truly believe it."

"well i don't," y/n said miserably.

"oi, l/n, your hair down today?" adrian pucey snarled, "it's gonna give me aids."

a few students snorted.

"you can get aids then. shut your mouth," y/n retorted back.

the whole school look startled. was this the same, prefect, goody-two-shoes y/n l/n?

adrian pucey opened his mouth.

"i said shut. your. mouth."

fred weasley watched in a mixture of furiousness and pride. he knew that pucey had a crush on y/n too. he was just terrible in expressing it. fred didn't like the way y/n's eyes sadly flitted to alicia afterwards. and she hadn't come up to him and given him a kiss today. maybe she just wanted a bit of space??

"see?" y/n sighed, "not even my hair is pretty." she tied it up.

alicia laughed, "adrian just wants your attention."

that made y/n laugh. "why? why?" it was a rhetorical question. she got up, and smiled at adrian in the most menacing way that he shrunk.

"miss l/n, your outburst was quite rude-" snape began.

"my apologies professor, of course, i was in the wrong. adrian pucey brought the topic surrounding my hair up, called it ugly. now what would you do if a student called your hair ugly?" y/n said, eyes burning with fury but conscience too good to lose her temper.

"i-i would give them a scolding."

"likewise. good day, professor."

"fucking hell, he is such a sh-" alicia muttered as she got up and followed y/n out to class.

"ali, that's enough," their retreating voices could be heard.

fred kept his eye on y/n through the day, giving her the space he thought she needed.

she looked very like her normal self, until she encountered pucey again.

"l/n, nice squinty eyes," pucey laughed.

y/n's shoulders sagged. her eyes dimmed and she let her ponytail fall in front of her face.

"ponytail won't fix them," he laughed meanly, "can they fix your dumpling body?"

fred frowned deeply, "fuck off, adrian," he angrily said, "that's my girlfriend you're talking to."

"oh, you have someone like weasley to save you? i don't even think you deserve him as a boyfriend."

y/n didn't answer, fearing that tears would spill out of her eyes. she had just been feeling worse and worse about herself. instead, when the bell signalled the end of classes, she hurried quickly off to wherever, trying to pull herself together.

she felt like she was at the bottom of the earth. her eyes finally let go of the tears that needed to be spilt. she leant sobbing against a stout tree in the forbidden forest, head slumped gloomily against the trunk, eyes trying to find anything, anything, that could be remotely comforting and hands fiddling nervously with the flowers that bloomed happily around her. her whole body shook in anxiety. she wished she had her mum or dad here to help her. but they were back at home.

how did fred love her?

she wished she didn't have stupid hair or squinty eyes or a dumpling body. but she couldn't ignore the mean, yet so true, remarks about her body adrian made. they were morally wrong and he deserved to be stabbed, but they were factual. she used to just laugh and joke about him too, but now she realised that maybe she should pay more attention to the way she eats and works and the way she talks and looks and presents herself and put more makeup on and-

fred found her crying there, by the little pond, shrinking away from the mere sight of her own appearance. he didn't get it.

well, he did, but he didn't know why such a beautiful girl like his girlfriend was crying.

"y/n?"

she flinched and stopped crying.

"sorry, i'll leave. i don't think you want a dumpling of a girlfriend sharing this nice space," she attempted to joke, but it fell short. she wasn't joking anymore. her tone was serious and genuine. the unexpected good nature pucey's remarks were received in usually was gone, and for good reason. it had broken her into the tiniest little pieces.

fred felt it. he felt his heart stop.

"is this about what pucey said to you, lovely?" he asked gently, cupping her cheek, and pulling her close to him.

she nodded, feeling immensely better already. the smell of him made her calm down insanely.

"so you don't want space?"

"n-no, i was just..." she trailed off uncertainly.

"mhm?" he looked at her and waited.

"it's silly."

"well, it's got you crying, i don't think so."

"the stuff a-adrian says is true," her voice was quiet and small.

fred frowned.

"i'm not cute or elegant or even hot," she continued, "i-i'm not as pretty as anyone here."

"well, my little love, if my opinion even matters, you are stunning. i think you're the prettiest person in the world, both on skin and in here," he patted his own heart, "do you know how long i pined after you?"

"no?"

"i'm still pining after you, gorgeous."

"d-do you mean it when you say gorgeous?" her eyes were broken and teary.

"of course. it hurts me when you are upset. because you are gorgeous and much more because you are so nice and good to me and to everyone else too. pucey's a complete shithead and when i next see him i will bash his head in. i'm so sorry i didn't notice, love, i thought you were mad at me."

"no it's fine, i just don't understand. you're fred weasley. so many girl's want you and you-you choose...me?," a sad frown was etched on her face, her tone confused.

"y/n, you're my only choice. i don't want the other girls. i can see the appeal of you. i-i know i'm not the best with words like you, but i really care about you. i love you, i adore you, you're the bestest person i've ever met."

and he knows he's brought the happiness back in her. she giggled. he felt relieved, because he knew he wasn't good at all at comforting people and y/n was so special to him- why didn't he say that earlier to her?

"bestest isn't a word, freddie."

"well you get what i mean, right? you're really special to me," there it was.

she nodded slowly, a small smile forming on her lips as she kissed him on the lips, before snuggling closer to him.

"darling, wouldn't you rather go back to the castle to cuddle?"

hesitantly, she shook her head.

"why?"

"'drian's there."

"adrian cannot hurt you, okay? whatever he tells you is wrong. he's wrong," he gently says, pulling her close to him, "besides, if he does, i'm here, and you're strong."

"i just cried about it, i can't be strong."

"crying doesn't mean you're weak, darling, sometimes we all cry and that's okay."

y/n nodded.

"here, i brought this for you, maybe it's a comfort??" he blushed as he handed her his quidditch hoodie.

she grinned and put it on.

he couldn't stop blushing at the sight of her, so he tilted his face away to save himself the embarrassment.

noticing and mistaking his turned away head for disgust, y/n took the hoodie off, downcastedly handing it back to him.

"sorry," she gave a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes as fred looked at her in confusion.

"y-you can have it back, yeah, there's no need to hide your shame, here, s-sorry," she stuttered out.

"shame?" he asked, looking worriedly down at her.

"mhm," she fiddled with the hem of her shirt, "sorry."

he finally understood.

"angel, look at me."

she reluctantly looked up at him.

"i wasn't feeling disgusted at all. i-i was actually embarrassed because i was blushing," his cheeks heated up again, "like i probably am right now. you're too beautiful. i was blushing too much."

"oh."

"yeah. now put it back on," he demanded, as he cheekily tugged the jumper over her head, blushing again as he saw her standing there in his jumper.

"c'mon!" he said, carrying y/n's school bag as they made their way to the castle, his arm wrapped protectively around his waist and the bright gold letters on the back of his sweater shining for anyone and everyone to see.

they didn't see pucey, thank goodness and they ended up talking with george and katie bell and angie and alicia by the fire.

as y/n smiled and giggled with katie over something highly scandalous, fred had his eyes on her, not so much monitoring her, but he couldn't keep them off of her.

when he had noticed her words start to become short and slightly slurred by tiredness, he lead her back to her dormitory.

"feeling better princess?"

she nodded, "you're so good to me, freddie. i love you."

it made his heart swell with happiness.

"i'd go to the moon and back for you, y/n."

she smiled drowsily, "and i, you."

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 6 “Fart Bet, Easy Bucks” [Episode List] When, rather immaturely, Tim’s friends are doing some random, silly bets, things soon turn stinkier and gassier as Dave joins the game…

Fart Bet, Easy Bucks

The immature, roaring laughter of me and my friends echoed in the living-room as another pal of mine, Jim, took one last bite of an onion, his cheeks turning red, teary eyes, almost puking in front us. We clapped our hands like the drunk monkeys we were, ignoring our friend’s gagging sounds, and we all took another shot of vodka in his honor.

“Well done, Jim!” Adam laughed, as tipsy as the rest of us.

That’s what we were doing in Adam’s parent-free house: really mature bets. At late night, it was almost 3:00 a.m. Our onion-eating friend just lost one of those silly bets we were challenging each other to do. Pretty stupid tasks, like standing on one foot for 3 minutes or reading stuff upside down. Quite mundane, easy, but try doing it after two bottles of vodka-lemon. Each.  The loser had to take a couple of bites of an onion, because as I said, we’re very mature. And clever.

The entire room stunk like that stinky vegetable and alcohol, didn’t help that some of us were also burping loudly and proudly, but we were too tipsy to even notice or even be bothered by that (plus, it’s not like I’m not used to… bad-smelling stuff…). When not betting each other to do shit, we were all sitting on two different couches: Adam, Jim and a couple of other guys were all sitting and burping on a longer couch, while I was on a smaller one with Dave, sitting next to me.

As more laughs roared in the room for no reason, in the chaos, Dave elbowed me and chuckled a bit, bringing to my attention the weird vibrations on the couch: he was ripping one of his big farts, the sound completely muffled by the pillows, his loose dark grey jeans probably making it sound even louder and manlier. I only smiled a bit a took another shot of vodka; my gassy friend did the same, finding my awkward reaction hilarious as usual.

“Tim, it’s your turn!”

I almost chocked on my own drink when I heard my name: Dave’s flatulence usually makes me very absent-minded. I finally realized that Adam was standing in the middle of the room, each one of us, one by one, whistling a song to him: if he guessed wrong, then it’s onion-hell for him. It was my turn to whistle a song then. I think about it for a moment, and then I start to whistle this famous hit from a couple of years earlier, but I was pretty drunk, so I didn’t really realize how weird the sounds coming out of my lips were, but my friends laughing should have been a wake-up call.

Eventually, Adam ran out of time, because he couldn’t guess the song I was “singing” to him. He was mad, almost furious, but it was the alcohol talking.

“Tim, you’re an idiot!” he was understandably angry, because it was my fault. “That wasn’t even a real song, you asshole!”

Didn’t help that we were all laughing at him, but my friend didn’t accept defeat, and he actually had all the rights to.

“I’m not going to eat those fucking onions!” Adam shouted. “Tim made me lose: he should be the one choking on that shit!”

I wasn’t offended, to be honest. I was actually laughing like the rest of the guys.

“Dude… we’re out of onions!” Jim said, noticing the empty plate.

We all laughed even more after that and I may have given to my angry friend a smug-ish look. I was just kidding, but he took it very seriously.

“Oh you’re going down, Tim. Just you wait…”

He eventually convinced our other pals that I was, indeed, deserving a “punishment”.

“Make him lick your dog’s balls!” someone suggested. “Leave my princess out of this!” Adam replied, offended.

It’s like the entire group stopped being drunk just to decide what disgusting task I should have done. I just laughed the whole time: it’s part of the game, they were not mean-spirited. Even Dave suggested some stuff, like drinking expired milk with my nostrils. Each suggestion was met with a mixture of laughter and disgust.

After a couple of minutes of discussion, I felt Dave once again elbowing me.

“Gentlemen, please!” he shouted, in a slightly sarcastic tone. “Since you’re wasting my time, I propose an entire new bet. Whether the result, Tim will still get his… punishment, trust me!”

He was trying not to laugh, but he did earn some puzzled looks from our other pals.

“If Tim survives to  this  for 5 minutes straight…” he leaned a bit, the couch shaking again under the pressure of his enormous, muffled fart, which lasted 4 seconds. Our other friends laughed immaturely and I started to sweat. “…then you guys are going to give us 20$. Each.”

Dave was insane. Was he really going to do what I think… no, that’s just crazy. It can’t be, come on! There was people watching us! Our friends were a both amused and disgusted.   But also intrigued.

“But if he gives up, then Tim owes Adam… let’s see… 200$” “What?!” I thought, the money-part being the only thing I disagreed with. The thought of Dave face-farting me was amazingly distracting as usual.

As our friends discussed Dave’s proposal, my gassy friend just patted my shoulder. “Come on Tim, that’s some easy bucks, right?” he whispered, chuckling a bit. My fetish was just a weird, fun game to him, and I couldn’t have been happier. But in front of our pals? That was too strange even for my standards.

When I turned to my gassy bro, however, he was already leaning on his back, his legs cocked up, his loose dark grey jeans forming that well-known “barrage” made of denim, a really familiar sight for me. I heard my friends laugh, Adam getting closer to me, his hands on my shoulders.

“Come on Tim… I want to see your face turn green!”

He was trying to sound threatening, but he couldn’t help but laugh; I know Adam: he’s just a friendly dork trying to act tough and I knew that he was actually finding the entire situation immaturely hilarious. But he had to look mad, it’s part of his… character.

I heard Dave sucking some air in his ass, his jeans now sagging, exposing a bit of his red underwear (interesting color, that’s for sure). The weird sounds coming from my friend’s butt were the only thing I could hear, despite my friends laughing. Every time Dave farted was like a dream coming true, but this time we were not alone. I stopped thinking about how risky the situation was for a moment, knowing that my friends would never suspect what was really going on between me and Dave, and just listened to the chorus of “Sniff it!”.

I gently buried my face in that soft, denim pillow, his legs slowly wrapping around my head, as if he was hugging me, trapping me in his gas-chamber. With my nose touching his underwear-covered anus, I could still feel the air being sucked in. A moment of silence, and then I felt his butt-muscles relax, and a first fart began.

It was so loud it’s hard to describe. Despite being on command, it was incredibly gross and wet-ish. The smell was rancid and unbearable, the mixture of alcohol and onions in Dave’s stomach probably produced something that no human would have been able to handle. The fart was so strong… loud, manly: my entire face was shaking, I swear I’ll never get used to his gassy talent. I could barely hear my friends laughing: my ears were devoted to Dave’s immense display of flatulence.

I coughed a bit, pretending to hate the smell, when the truth was obviously really different. This first fart alone lasted almost 20 seconds, one of the longest I’ve ever experienced from him. Our friends clapped their hands in approval, having yet another shot of vodka, a toast to the incredible display of fart-talent they just witnessed, and just kept laughing immaturely.

As they laughed, I saw Dave’s face just above that “barrage” of sagging jeans: as usual, he was laughing, and smiled at me, and then winked: his “plan” was working great. I felt his hand brushing through my hair and gently pushing me even deeper into the denim depths of his ass, this time with my nose almost perfectly aligned with his underwear-clad anus.

Dave’s grip, as usual, felt more like a caress, and the fart that immediately followed was just as big as the first one. And hilarious as well. “This is a natural one!” I heard him say, basically bragging about his gassy-abilities, as the fart kept going strong, our friends laughing again. “Pull him closer!” Jim shouted, then (probably him) pushed me even more “inside” of Dave’s butt (I couldn’t tell if it was Jim, as my face –and eyes- was completely buried in my friend’s fart-shooter). Dave made his butt comically wiggle a bit, forcing some toots out: my nostrils were almost burning, the stench being a mixture of rotten onions and burning vodka-lemon.

“That’s so gay!” Adam laughed. Ironically, he was right, about me at least.

“3 minutes already!” I heard somebody scream. I almost lost track of time: as I said, those farts make me absent-minded. Dave just kept ripping this series of loud rips one after one, without even sucking in. I couldn’t tell anymore whether he was farting on command or not anyway: he was just so good at it that the farts always felt natural (and, 99% of times, they were). “Aww man.” Dave chuckled, lying down slowly. He was tired, exhausted. “Can I turn around?!” he asked. They all simply laughed in response, though I also heard some gagging sounds.

My best friend turned around slowly, adjusting his position, his legs somehow keeping my face planted in his ass, as if he was “wrestling” me down, albeit very slowly and gently. He was now lying on his stomach, his loose-jeans butt looking like a beautiful pillow made of denim, his red underwear slightly popping out.

“Do your longest one, Dave!” Adam suggested. I was both mad and grateful for that.

He then came closer and made sure that my face was buried in the farter’s butt, pushing me even deeper in it. Dave just laughed, while I was trying not to get as red as tomato. I just couldn’t believe how open-minded Dave was about this, going as far as face-farting me in front of everyone else; granted, the bet was a smart excuse, but still, I was speechless. I didn’t even feel embarrassed: it was like a big prank, and friends alway prank each other, but the friendship remains intact, if not even stronger.

“Alright, I feel a good one… ready?” my gassy friend said, but it’s like he was talking to me only, as if we were alone as usual, during one of our fart sessions.

It’s like his butt “hugged” my face even more, right before the explosion that engulfed my entire, defenseless head in a cloud of stench. The fart shook my entire face and part of the couch like an earthquake. The chainsaw-like sounds were as loud as a thunder; the whole flatulence sounded fake, but it wasn’t, at all. 10 seconds, but the fart kept going strong, almost unnaturally.

I caught a glimpse of Dave’s smile as he slightly turned his head around, making sure I was enjoying it, but the rest of our friends didn’t notice that apparently, as they were too busy laughing and clapping their hands. “No way!” Adam shouted, in a mixture of anger and hilarity: as the fart was still being ripped, Dave slightly lowered his jeans a bit, fully exposing the red underwear, the sound getting even louder. I felt his hand again pushing me between his buttcheeks, as he spread his legs a bit more. I was having a close-encounter with his anus, the underwear acting as one final line of defense separating me from the real source of that gas. The smell was unbearable: onions smelt nice in comparison. And it was great.

As a “big finale”, as Dave announced it, the flatulence turned as loud as it was humanly possible, the ear-piercing sound almost destroying my own eardrums. My nostrils were burning, my nose getting wet-ish due to Dave’s sweaty buttcheeks. It was the most intense face-farting that my best friend ever made me experience… and he was straight: imagine if he was gay!

“No fucking way!” Adam roared. “5 minutes!”

Everyone else cheered and laughed, playfully throwing pillows at our angry friend. I slowly sat back, Dave doing the same, tying his jeans belt again. He patted on my shoulder, laughing, while I was doing my best to tame my huge boner, hidden by my own jeans.

“No way! You guys did this before, come on!”

Adam asked, ironically (if only he knew…), now laughing too, as he took a 20$ bill out of his wallet. The rest of the guys reluctantly did the same, throwing money at us, disgusted and amused at the same time.

The entire living-room now smelt like onions and rotten alcohol (if rotten-alcohol existed… does it exist?), everyone moaning in disgust, while me and Dave counted the money we just earned… by cheating.

“Easiest bucks we ever made!” he whispered, handing 50% of the cash to me, elbowing me like he did other times. “Great job!” he chuckled.

We all had another shot of vodka-lemon, and the night proceeded as usual, as Jim found another stash of onions hidden in the fridge. As the really clever betting continued, my gaze landed more than once on Dave… just Dave, sitting next to me, as if nothing happened. He’s like a brother, my best friend. He did that for me, he felt he was really gassy because of all the alcohol… and so farted in my face as an excuse, money or not.

Yes, I bet Dave did all of that for me, not just the money. And that’s another bet I’m sure I’ll win.

End of Episode 6

[runolllo-fanboygirl]

---------------------------------

I'm going to start by clarifying that these are messages I got in response to my post here /// LINK /// After this, I'm not replying to messages about this kinda thing in a long time. Talking about sexualization and such other topics is important but I'm not in a state to be made the center of it. Please, don't come to my inbox asking for discourse, go and create your own posts if you want to raise awareness or vent.

And now to answer to these new asks:

FIRST OF ALL: while I love the way Murata draws men, robotic stuff, monsters... I actually HATE the way he draws ladies! I prefer their proportions in the OPM anime and games. Murata is literally SO BAD at drawing women compared to the level of expertise he has drawing men, and it's all ‘cos he keeps drawing ladies "the h0rny way". We all know this, let's move on.

"He's drawing all the monster girls sexualized" Did the fact that Manako's genre reveal deconstructs the trope "the default is male" totally go over your head? That Psykos's reveal as a woman running the whole MA was a big deal for this same reason as well? There are a bunch of female monsters… you just assume they're all male unless you see big b00bs and then complain about that very fact. They literally made a whole point about this specifically!

"He changed Mizuki's shorts to p4nties to please fanboys" I liked the shorts better too (just because I find her whole character design a bit more balanced that way) so that change bothered me as well, but the "p4nties" are actually standard athletic wear for competition. Shorts are not. Technically, she’s drawn more accurately now.

"Sports Bras don't work that way he just wants to draw b00bs" neither do the shirts and bodysuits the guys are wearing. You can see all their muscles and manb00bs and cr0tch lines, just as much as with Fubuki and Tatsu's hero outfits and Mizuki's top.

"But when the boys are drawn that way, it's not to please the ladies, it's male power fantasy" THERE IS NO HETEROSEXUAL MALE POWER FANTASY BULLSHIT THAT CAN POSSIBLY EXPLAIN THE WAY MURATA DRAWS GAROU, FLASH, SONIC, STINGER AND SOME OF THE OTHER GUYS. The fact is that the way he draws eye candy of them appeals to other collectives other than the cis het men and he knows exactly what he's doing. Period.

"He constantly draws sexualized art of Mizuki to please the fanboys" Why exaggerate so much? This is simply not true. She's a woman in athlete wear, most of the time she's either standing up talking or fighting, no weird angles or anything. There is like 1 sexy cover of her, the back cover with all the girls in bikinis and then that infamous watermelon sequence. That's all the sexualization you are talking about.

"Mizuki only gets so much screen time because of how much p0rn of her there is" oh yeah Mizuki got a grand total of, like, *drum roll* 1 chapter and a half dedicated to her! Wow! Which is NOTHING taking into consideration how dense Garou's arc is and the fact that they will need at least 2 seasons of the anime to finish it.

But think about this: OPM desperately needed more female presence, in special with the prospect of finishing Garou's arc in the anime. Making anime is hard and COSTLY. Most of the people who is going to watch the anime haven't read the manga and they'll be like "what the heck there are no female characters in this anime for like 3 seasons?" and there is no team that's going to risk it working with such prospects. We know why.

Of all the expansion that Garou's arc got in the manga adaptation (and later in the anime), one of the most sensible and balanced decisions was to add more ladies. They put all those monster ladies for season 2, and then for season 3 we get Manako and Mizuki having some strong presence, Shadow and Kamaitachi there a bit in the back too. It benefits the pace and balance of both the manga and the future season 3 so immensely because Fubuki, Tatsumaki and Psykos take a LOOONG while to be relevant during Garou's Arc… in special with all the filler the manga put in between (but all that filler is of the S-Class boys getting development and a reality check which is kinda important too lol).

Point is: the screentime Mizuki got was VERY necessary to balance things in between of all the relentless Garou fights and the boys being boys. Sure Mizuki is beautiful and sexy and all, but really EVERYONE was waiting for a new female character that was relevant, likeable, fun… and on top of everything, it's so rare to see a strong 2m tall girl in fiction in general, not even just anime. Everyone got instantly excited about her because she's exactly what we needed AND MORE. And sure, people draw p0rn of her like they do with most other popular characters, what did you expect.

"The ladies are always more sexualized-" YES, in the OPM manga, the ladies are a little more sexualized than the men –but not by much AND not during plot stuff. By that I mean that most of the so called "sexualizing the girls" happens in the covers, back covers and promotional art very exclusively, and not during the story itself. HOWEVER, a lot of the sexy men bits do happen during the story, curiously.

 In the anime though, there is almost zero ladies fanservice (which makes sense since there is almost no female presence in the first 2 seasons anyway). Yet it's full of naked dudes, sometimes for a good reason, but mostly just so we can look at them being sexy and silly.

 I personally don't care if the man candy and ladies fanservice is not perfectly even in Murata's manga adaptation, because there is enough of both in his work, as well as other official OPM stuff like the anime and games to bring a very nice balance in the s3xy department.

 "The way the women are dressed-" Most of the background ladies are wearing skirt uniforms and shit, but all the relevant ladies primarily dress in nothing you can call "sexualized" except for maybe Tatsumaki with her strong leg game. To recall:

 Lilly wears the same as the men of the Blizzard Group; Twin Tail just dresses like a jester; Mizuki is the first to show so much skin, but she's still wearing real standard competition wear for athletes. All the other sportwomen (Hornet and Swim) and martial artists (Shadow, Suiko, Lin Lin) wear standard clothes for their respective professions too. Sure we've seen Shadow wearing some, uh, ninja bikini thing under her ACTUAL work clothes, but for actual fights she's fully dressed and surprisingly not stuffed in a tiny nylon bodysuit that rips like stocking, like all the ninja men in the series do lmao.

Fubuki and Tatsumaki are, like, the only ones wearing dresses and they can because they use psychic powers anyway. Fubuki doesn't even show ANY skin, ever! She just happens to have big b00bs! Kamaitachi is the other one wearing a "skirt" but it's similar to what Japanese martial artists would wear, too.

So, again… all this sexualization we are talking about is not even happening anywhere except in Murata's covers and some promotional art. ONE is famous for treating ladies very fairly, even if Murata tries very hard to exploit the sexy out of every single of the ladies ONE creates. All these ladies have their own agenda and personality that have nothing to do with being pretty or f*ckable. In fact, in-universe, no one ever mentions if the heroines are beautiful or sexy and no one ever talks about liking them for those reasons (except for Lilly and Erika who are gay for Fubuki and Tatsumaki respectively, amazingly enough no hetero characters mention it). I think the first time we've ever seen a relevant character talking about dating another relevant character is when Suiryu told Saitama and Suiko to date (but Suiryu is the resident h0rny fuckboy of the series, if someone was going to say something so stupid for all the wrong reasons, it was going to be him).

For being an adult series, a seinen that parodies shonen tropes and all, OPM is seriously very tame in the sexy ladies department. For this series, the sexy is just a luxurious accessory, just one more little thing. It's always pretty weird when people get so angry and disappointed about a new sexy girl cover or a couple of compromising panels, like they don't know what to expect.

 "He only draws that way to please the h0rny fanboys" Murata IS a h0rny fanboy himself and draws shit that appeals to him as much as he feels he’s allowed to insert in the series. Please remember he's the insane fanboy that reached up to ONE to beg him to continue One Punch Man and offered to make a manga adaptation to promote OPM.

From the moment Murata started drawing OPM, the tone of the manga was set and never changed: lots of blood and guts, comical and non-comical nudity, irreverence, sexy angles, Genos ripping his shirts off, ninjas in body suits that rip like they are nylons… people in shirts, tanktops and dresses so tight you can see all their muscles, boobs and even belly buttons whether they are men or women or otherwise… h0rny chapter covers, stupidly h0rny monsters…

Just reading the manga to the point where Genos and Mosquito Girl first appear, you know what you are in for with OPM. I don't know what some fans are expecting to see in OPM next, but I'm going to take a wild guess here and say: you should expect more of the same.

 At the end of the day, the manga is Murata's work with ONE, and if he likes drawing h0rny ladies more than boys, that's how things are! This is just 2 guys with their passion project. I don't expect of them the same as if there was a bigger team with a big budget behind the series, like it happens with many games and shows. In this last case, I would be a lot stricter about all this, because with more resources you're expected to do better things.

[st-hedge]

So i guess i just “finished” age of calamity but there are still incomplete side quests. I cant say if u should get it or not so PLEASE dont ask that cuz I DONT KNOW. I honestly cant say if u will like it. But if anyone wants to know what i think of it subjectively go ahead and click on the read more. Warning: spoilers 🤷‍♂️

Its extremely vanilla I’ll admit that straight away. Painfully vanilla. Its a fairytale what if scenario of what could have happened if things went the way the champions had hoped. Everyone survives and more. Ive seen people spew and fume at that but honestly if its just a pretty scenario I don’t hate it and it feels like what i need right now. If i want a fairy tale apocalypse I can go and play botw or something else. This is a what if alternate universe and it made me cry like a bitch

Its not a ground breaking storyline (neither is botw lol) but ive found myself not giving a shit cuz of how much fun ive had (and still having). The combat is batshit, the character selection is on crack, and ive always wanted to play as urbosa and zelda so fuck off. I’m having immense fun. Also the pre calamity hyrule is so beautiful how can i get bored??? I mean its pretty sad that everything is timed so i cant just spend an hour taking screenshots but thats what replaying scenarios is for

There are some weird inconsistencies that i dont quite understand tho. Like how can kohga be alive and be presumably the same age as he is in botw? Am i missing something? There is also something weird about how the bond between zelda and link formed. There is nothing in the events of hw:aoc that should have affected how it was portrayed in botw. Allow me to explain: in botw link already has the master sword and zelda is quite cold and formal with him; she tells him to fuck off basically and that she doesnt need his help. However in hw:aoc before he even gets the sword they are already decent friends and zelda is nice to link. ??????? There are probably more but i cant remember

Other things that I think could have been improved on: more about the champions. I thought they would be given more cut scenes with backgrounds but there is barely anything. Also. If they were gonna give ganon a new form and a new follower (the seer) why not give ganon more identity and functionality besides just being the voiceless big bad at the end (but hey maybe thats left for botw2)

Anyway. Seeing the new and old champions interact was amazing but also chilling. Seeing Sidon meet mipha made me Weep. And then getting the opportunity to save the champions was just—— it was an experience and i loved it. Getting them all to fight together in different combinations is truly the most fun thing. Also the little snippets of interactions when completing side quests for npcs and such is fucking hysterical. What made me happy most of all is that this particular story is not link’s. It’s actually about zelda. Yes link is the hero and he gets some of the cut scenes but honestly this is about zelda and she gets the journey she needed

I dunno how soon will i replay it after completing every single side quest i can trigger. Playing the game is really harsh on the eyes and i kept taking long breaks tho to be fair i did play for several days straight. Some champions are really hard to control and they make the screen just glitch and flash and it made me really nauseas but since they are only side characters it was fine

If u dont like button mashing and intense, demanding combat please dont get this. Watch the cut scenes on YouTube. If u love insane stupid combat and u can ignore a vanilla plot, maybe consider it? I dont know what my preference is but ive enjoyed (and still enjoying) hw;aoc a lot and i dont regret buying it one bit. I need some easy on the brain vanilla and silly button mashing and it hit the spot

[fnaficsfordays]

Sweet Secrets

AO3 Link

Warnings: None

Word count: 2190

Synopsis:

He was really only there for a few cold scoops.

That was all he’d expected out of it, too. After all, wasn’t that what they all did whenever they got away from that pizzeria? Try to relax before the next midnight shift rolled around?

But this little time took a turn that even he wouldn’t have expected.

Okay, it might have been Scott’s fault that he’d stayed after initially seeing them. Maybe, just maybe, he could have gotten out of the place sooner. But how could he not have stayed? He had to figure out what was going on- there was no way he could have left before seeing it.

Well, everyone does have their secrets, after all...

He’d just never expected to find out like this about theirs.

He stared at the words, fingers tapping his chin in not-so-deep thought. His eyes kept flickering back and forth between two points on the bulleted list, barely noticing the line moving up. The attempted decision in his mind was becoming harder and harder to make with each passing moment, lip lightly held between his teeth as he kept going back and forth, his head starting to become impatient with itself.

Mint chocolate or neopolitan?

Scott was roughly shoved out of his thoughts with a small cough behind him. Flinching slightly, he abruptly stepped forward, bringing the waiting line back up. The two choices weighed heavier as he kept the question rolling in his mind, tapping his fingers against his leg.

He’d already had neopolitan a couple weeks ago… but it was also his favorite… but he’d never actually had mint flavor before, and it had chocolate chips… but neopolitan was literally one-third chocolate…

By the time he’d come up to the front of the line, he still couldn’t make the decision. It was an inane one, if he let his logic back into his head, but it was almost too stupid. Stupid enough to the point that he just couldn’t decide, as much as he was screaming at himself to just choose something and get it over with.

“Sir, what would you like?”

Oh, right. He had to make a decision now. “I’ll, uh… take… mint.”

“Mint chocolate chip?”

“Yeah. That one.” Scott was inwardly kicking himself for his hesitation.

“Anything else?”

“A-and a strawberry brownie. That’s- that’s all.” Shit.

“Alright, you’ll be number 78. Shouldn’t take too long, just go on and wait.”

He gave a small nod, quickly turning away from the cashier and speed walking over to one of the small parlor tables, tugging out his seat. He sat down roughly, releasing a long breath as he stared at his hands resting on the table, thumbs twiddling.

This. This was why, despite the fact that this ice cream parlor always had delicious snacks, Scott didn’t venture here any more than one or twice a month. Whenever he stepped outside, he couldn’t enjoy the comfort of his mask- he had to actually face the sunlight, look people in the eye, talk without a buzz, be a regular member of society. Sure, he could get used to surviving killer animatronics almost every night, but he couldn’t take off his mask without feeling so exposed and uncomfortable, even in the safety of his own house.

It wasn’t that he hated his own face- spikey blonde hair, dark blue eyes, a light scar on his nose. He looked fine. But it just wasn’t him. As silly as it was, having a large, red, rotary phone in place of his head made him feel much more at home and like himself.

But still, the ice cream here was worth a couple minutes of his skin crawling. It was his go-to for boredom- nothing like a few scoops of frozen sugar to lighten up his day, no matter what the weather was outside.

“78! Get your order, number 78!”

And, just like that, Scott’s small cove of quiet was interrupted again. He bolted up and out of his chair, dashing over. He fumbled to pull a 10 dollar bill out from his pocket, stopping at the cashier, taking his ice cream and brownie with a quick, muttered word of gratitude. He quickly handed the money over, nearly dropping the change he received in turn. As he made his way back to the table, he took a quick taste of the cool green ice cream, relieved to feel the light tang sink onto his tongue.

He sank down into his seat with a small sigh of relief. He could feel a chocolate chip melting on his tongue from the first taste, rolling the flavor in his mouth as he let his heart slow back down. He picked up the pinkish brownie, taking a small bite as he stared out the window and into the busy sidewalk.

The combined warmth and coolness of the two snacks helped settle his nerves, sinking down into his chair as he took a spoonful of the ice cream. Scott’s eyes glazed over as he let his mind wander away from his anxieties, gaze flickering at the passerby outside.

Just as he was starting to take a large bite out of the brownie, someone walked by the window. A light scowl on their face, scarf pulled loosely around their neck, over a dull blue t-shirt. Arms tightly crossed, brown locks of hair that he could see slightly ruffled, their eyes darting back towards someone or something behind them.

Michael? What was he doing here?

Scott’s eyes dropped slightly away from the window, staring at his ice cream. But out of the corner of his vision, he could see that Michael had turned around, now talking to someone. It was only a moment before he turned back around again, continuing to walk forward, another person trailing closely behind. As Scott saw who it was, he had to stifle a small gasp.

It was near-immediate recognition with that purple skin, that wide smirk, those gleaming silver eyes. The long hair in a messy ponytail, the violet buttoned shirt just a few shades darker than the rest of his body…

Vincent too? The hell were the two of them doing out in public? And together?

Scott had been so shocked that he barely noticed Michael push the swinging door open, stepping into the ice cream shop. Vincent followed right behind, hands in his pockets and still with that insufferable grin on his face. He couldn’t hear much of what they were saying as he kept his gaze mostly on his snacks, trying not to be noticed. He knew they wouldn’t even know it was him, since they’d never actually seen his face before, but still. He’d have to be careful not to get noticed.

Vincent moved to an empty table, lazily sitting in one of the chairs. Michael was standing in line, arms still firmly crossed. As his gaze darted between them every now and then, his curiosity kept rising. What were they doing here? Sure, he’d heard the phrase “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”, but going to an ice cream shop together seemed a little far. Michael sure wouldn’t want to spend any more time than absolutely necessary around Vincent, if their “relationship” at work was anything to go by. Hell, at least once a week, Scott had to break up yet another potential fight between them. Maybe a passive-aggressive gesture? He really didn’t know.

His focus returned as Michael walked back over to the table, sitting down across from Vincent. The two were talking once again, in a more hushed tone. Well, at least Michael was. But Vincent was still completely relaxed, arms sitting confidently on the table. He’d give a small smirk every now and then, one that was somehow different than the usual insanity-based grin he always had. There was some other emotion on his face, something… deeper. He couldn’t quite make out what it was, and yet… it didn’t seem quite like an expression to be given to someone you hated. He was still surprised they hadn’t broken out into a fight- although, if they had made it all the way here without doing so already, he guessed it wasn’t as much of a shock. But still, something else was going on. He knew it.

He seemed to say something, and Michael covered his face with a hand, shaking it slightly. Vincent gave a chuckle, and-— to Scott’s immense shock— reached out and grabbed it, pulling it away from his face. He could see their fingers start to intertwine, palms gently held on the table.

He nearly let the plastic spoon drop out of his own hand at the gesture, eyes darting back to his ice cream. Scott quickly took a bite, heart rate speeding back up. He kept sneaking glances back at the two, swallowing as the thoughts and questions grew louder in his head.

Michael wasn’t pulling away. He wasn’t facing Vincent anymore, gaze dropped to the ground, but he could see a pinkish tint on his face, one that only fueled his suspicions..

“Order 84! Number 84, come get your order!”

Michael abruptly pulled his hand away from Vincent’s, provoking a small bout of laughter. He muttered something as he swatted at his hand, getting out of his chair as he walked towards the cashier. Scott dropped his gaze completely, taking a bite of the brownie to help calm his mind.

What the fuck, what the fuck, WHAT THE FUCK-

If what had just happened was anything to go off of, it couldn’t be further from a rivalry. This was nothing like how they acted around each other during the night shift. But what did it all mean?

Jumping to conclusions wasn’t something he did. Even if what he’d just seen led down to an immediate perception, he’d have to wait. Just keep eating his snacks. Eavesdropping couldn’t be rushed, after all.

Michael soon returned to the table, with two ice cream cones in hand. He quickly passed one over to Vincent, taking a bite out of his own. He could see a red blush across his cheeks as he refused to look him in the eye, staring hard at the table. Conversation seemed to start back up between them, Vincent’s grin only growing wider. It wasn’t helping Michael’s rapidly darkening blush at all- Scott didn’t even have to be careful about sneaking glances at the two of them anymore, they’d never notice him at this rate.

Then, Vincent took both of the cones, pushing them out to the side of the table. Michael finally glanced back at him, a half-hearted glare on his face. But Vincent grabbed his hand again, speaking softly as his smirk died down to a surprisingly soft, gentle smile, a light blush on his face. It was almost unnerving to Scott, seeing such an expression on his face. Just what was he about to do-?

Suddenly, Vincent tilted up Michael’s chin with one of his hands. He started to lean forward across the table, the smile never dying on his face. Their faces were nearly touching, way too close to each other-

Scott’s gaze immediately jerked back to his brownie, finishing the last bite as his heart kept beating, face heating up as he stared down at his own table. He’d looked just a bit too long, and he’d seen it. Their lips had connected, they had just- oh god, that image in his head…

What the fuck indeed.

Rolling back his shoulders, he stood up from his table, carrying the plastic spoon over to the trash. He started to walk towards the doors, not daring to look back at their table. Good thing he had just finished, good god…

As he pulled it open, he paused for a split second, glancing back at them for just a moment. They weren’t kissing anymore, which was a great relief, but there was an uncharacteristically soft and calm expression on both of their faces, hands still held on the table. Then, he turned away, walking out the cafe and stepping out back onto the sidewalk.

Scott let go of the breath he had been holding, numbly walking down the street as he ran a hand through his hair, trying to recollect his thoughts.

That had been… unexpected, to say the least.

Michael and Vincent dating would have been something he would never have seen coming in a millenia, but that ten or so minutes had completely flipped his mind. The saying “opposites attract” couldn’t be more true at the moment.

It was a very fortunate thing to be wearing that mask at work, because Scott would never look at them in the same way again. Every little insult, every fight, every glare… well, he’d still be breaking them apart, even if it was for a different reason now. But the fact that all this time it was just fake was…

He shook his head as he continued to walk, sighing deeply. Out of all the days he’d chosen to get ice cream, it had to be today. And he still had a shift with them tomorrow. They didn’t know. But now he did.

Each shift after that day was taken on a whole new light, even from within his mask. Every small jab, every scowl or smirk, every bout of banter… although the state of shock wore off, the secret knowledge never left his mind for a moment. It became quite a point of amusement in such a terrible job, no one else ever seeing the grin on his face when another “fight” broke out between them.

And now Scott noticed more, the things he had never seen before. The small fleeting glances they shared, the slightest hint of a smile tugging at their lips, just how much time they really spent alone in that office… This was far from a new relationship, for sure.

What a romance, huh?