#he's still looking epic and saucy

[sonadowcentral]

Hehe shadow tit

in my attempts to make Shadow look more dynamic and older, I made him look too feminine 💔

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

A Dieter Thing Happened on the Way to the Colosseum

(Dieter x horror loving female)

Words: 1, 347

Summary: thanks to a certain trailer, you have some inspiration to bring back to Dieter

Warnings: saucy suggestions, mild swearing, Ancient Roman history, talk of roleplay, Dieter being Dieter in a Roman costume

Check out masterlist here

Arms wrapped around you as soon as you got out of the car. Very soft inviting arms.

“Hi Dieter.”

“Hello, my beautiful almost wife. In less than three months I can say hello to my beautiful wife.”

He did this every time, and it was still adorable.

“I have stuff to get out of the car,” he wasn’t letting go quite yet. “I picked up your wedding suit.”

That got him excited. He grabbed everything that was in the trunk of your car and skipped inside.

You couldn’t help but smile; you never knew anyone as excited as your fiancé for your upcoming wedding. He took delight in picking out his wedding suit. Dieter decided on a navy-blue suit with an inlay of dusty pink imprinted with roses.

“Uh, honey cakes, this isn’t my suit,” he walked out holding up something that wasn’t his wedding suit. It was a costume an actor playing a Roman general would wear in an epic historical film. You just stood there dumbfounded.

“This isn’t for the wedding, is it?” You shook your head. “Wait, is this a roleplay thing?”

You managed to squeak out a maybe.

Dieter stared at you in amazed confusion. “You’ve never expressed any interest in Ancient Rome before. My horror film knowledge is very limited but I’m pretty sure there isn’t one.”

“There should be one. It would be amazing, like Prey.”

“Alright, what’s happened?”

“It was the trailer.”

“What trailer?”

“Trailer for Gladiator 2.”

“They made a sequel to that?”

You nodded, “I wasn’t that interested, but it was all anyone talked about at work, so I watched it and…”

“And…?”

“It was hot.”

“Come on, no trailer could be that hot.”

Cue one slightly historically inaccurate teaser trailer later…

“Okay, that was pretty hot.”

“I told you.”

“Hang on,” he gave you that classic cheeky look. “You just want me to show off my knees.”

“Well, you have nice knees. They’re much cuter than mine.”

“I love your knees. Especially when I have them over my shoulders,” he grabbed said knees and draped them over his legs which caused you to slump against his chest.

He nuzzled close, “So, what did you have in mind for roleplay?”

“I have no idea. I don’t remember much from high school history.”

“Well, we only need to know the basics. Obviously, I’ll be a Roman general and you can be my Roman wife.”

“So far, so good.”

“I could be coming back from a battle and then you could help me wash off in our pretend Roman bath.”

“I’d love to have a bath,” you already imagined soaking in the hot water.

“You can help wash off the dirt from my battle.”

“Then we’d have slow-motion sex like in that Zack Snyder film?” you were trying to decide which bath salts you’d like in your bath.

“Almost, but the Battle of Thermopylae was in 480 BC and the Colosseum wasn’t built until around 80 AD.”

“You’re such a nerd.”

“I know.”

You couldn’t help but kiss his nose, “It’s very sexy.”

“So should I role around in some dirt?”

“Don’t you have some fake dirt?”

“It won’t wash off that easily.”

“I can pretend I had a pre-wash before soaking in our Ancient Roman bath.”

“Oh, speaking of Rome; pizza.”

“Pizza?”

“Please tell me they had pizza in Ancient Rome.”

“They weren’t as fancy as today’s pizza but yes they did.”

“I really want some pizza.”

“And would that be before or after the roleplay?”

You made a noise like you were starting to get a headache, “I don’t know, my brain don’t work. I’ve been problem solving all day and now it’s just,” you then made a noise like a splat.

“Oh, you’re poor brain.”

“I’m sorry I’m not being helpful here.”

He kissed that spot between your eyebrows which calmed your mind. “Just tell me what it is you’d like to do.”

“All I want is to soak in the bath, have pizza and you in sexy Roman outfit.”

“And that’s all you want?”

You nodded, snuggling further into his softness.

You must have dozed off because the next thing you knew, Dieter was gently waking you up.

“Hey,” he spoke softly. “Pizza is going to be here in five minutes.”

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you stretched as you asked, “You ordered pizza?”

“Yup, you should run yourself a hot bath.” Before you could question him, he kissed your cheek. “You deserve a hot bath.”

“I do,” and you wandered off to the bathroom.

The hot water was the perfect thing for a long day. You closed your eyes and took a long breath of the rose scented bath salts.

“Thy pizza, my lady.”

You opened your eyes: before you was Dieter dressed as a Roman general kneeling down with a box of pizza.

“This is what you wanted wasn’t it?” he seemed uncertain.

“Me in a hot bath with you in a sexy Roman outfit and pizza?” you let out an adoring whimper. “It’s everything I wanted!”

“I’m glad,” he opened the box. “I should start wearing skirts, show off my knees.”

“It does suit you.” He took some time to admire his figure in his costume.

“Dieter, I love you and I cannot wait to be married but…”

“But pizza?”

“Pizza!”

He took out a slice and held it out to you. You took as big a bite as you could manage without burning your mouth but with pizza it was always going to happen. Thankfully, your experience with cheese helped prevent such burns.

“Fuck, hot,” Dieter not so much. Once he recovered from pizza cheese burns, he took a stool and sat down. You noticed he was rather lacking in a certain something.

“Dieter, are you not wearing underwear?”

“Well I can’t go wearing a loincloth can I?” he waggled his eyebrows and took another bite of pizza. “So you think I should I be in a horror film set in Ancient Rome?”

“You know I’d watch it.”

“Something like a Roman troop come across some ancient aliens? Please those so-called historians?”

You hummed in thought after another bite of pizza, “I think something like vampires or werewolves would work better.”

“Werewolves could work. There’s the myth that Rome was founded by Romulus and Remus, and they were raised by a wolf so, I don’t know, there could be some cult or something that turns out to be werewolves.”

“Please, someone write that film so you can be in it.”

“And you can do the werewolf makeup.”

“I’d love to do an Ancient Roman werewolf!” you shifted your legs seductively in the bath. “So, are you going to join me?”

“I’d love to but I’m keeping this on for a while.”

“Oh?”

“For starters, I look good in it. Secondly, it was a bit fiddly to get on. Got some weird looks from the pizza guy.”

“I can help you take it off.” The rose scent was getting to you.

“You will eventually. But just think of me as a Roman general, just back from battle missing his beautiful Roman wife. He’s not going to waste time taking off his armour before making passionate love.”

“Can you move in that?”

“I can move the important parts.”

“I like those important parts,” you had enough of pizza. You leaned out of the bath and Dieter offered you more pizza, but you took his face in your hands and kissed him deeply. He gladly leaned in.

“I can’t wait until we’re married,” said Dieter. “Then I can carry my actual wife to bed rather than my pretend Roman wife.”

“The pretend stuff is nice until then.”

“At least the sex is real.” He stood up and held out his hand. “Now, let’s get those sexy knees over my shoulders.”

“Your shoulders are so broad in that outfit.”

You stood up as if to step out of the bath, but your eager fiancé scooped you up in his arms.

“Dieter, I haven’t dried off.”

“Don’t worry, I put towels down on the bed.”

Lovingly tagging @boliv-jenta @simpingcowboy @ellenmunn @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @chaithetics @myloveistoolittle @cevans-is-classic @glshmbl @cupcakehp @gswizzsstuff @grogusmum @readingiskeepingmegoing @kirsteng42

[whenimaunicorn]

Playing House Part 4.2

And here’s the conclusion to the reader’s epic first night wearing the maid costume....this is what she gets for putting it on around these boys. CW: consensual Dom/sub BDSM, voyeurism, edging

Previous scene

You don’t want to move. Lying prostrate across his bed, face turned to one side, it’s the best you can do to open your eyes slowly as you feel Ivar lie down beside you. One hot hand remains on your ass; proprietary, satisfied. He sets his face just a few inches away from yours, and gazes into your eyes.

You’re exhausted, and fuzzy. You’re flying high on a cocktail of neurotransmitters you’ve never quite experienced before, and all you want to do is bask in it. He did this to you. He made you feel this delicious sort of way. Your eyes pore over Ivar’s fallen-angel face; he seems content to do the same to you. You can’t even feel self-conscious as you just stare at each other, reveling in what just happened, loathe to say anything more about what it might mean for anything past this moment, right now.

Ivar is the one to break the silence. “Do you want to come?” he asks softly.

You take your time, thinking about how your body feels. The rush you’re coming down from is something more than sexual. You almost don’t feel like it even has to go that way. “I don’t know.”

Ivar’s smile is slow and rich. “I like that answer,” he says thoughtfully.

When he finally breaks eye contact, it’s to sit up and lean over you, reaching for the bedside table. You start to shift out of his way, but he urges you not to move. You hear the drawer opening, then some rummaging sounds.He comes back to sitting beside you, and when his hand slides over the abused skin of your ass you jump. Even his delicate touch makes you aware of how over-sensitive it is now, how he’s tenderized you.

He tugs on your panties, gently, until all the bunched fabric is pulled out smooth again. The elastic edge across your cheeks feels too tight now; a prickly, stinging line. “Take them off,” you ask.

Ivar makes a bemused sort of sound and does so, lifting the waistband carefully over your red flesh before tugging them down… but they don’t get very far before they hit the barrier of your garter clips. Ivar’s fingertips slide back up between your legs, and you stop worrying about your panties.

With two fingers he strokes your slit, slow and easy. You sigh and arch your back, giving him what room you can. “Want to try, then?”

How easily the adrenaline and endorphins of the spanking flip over to fresh arousal. Maybe you’re not as tired as you thought. You purr an agreeing sound.

There’s a plastic-y ‘click’ sound, and then Ivar’s fingers disappear for a few moments. The next thing you feel is something cool and slippery pressing between your lower lips. It’s more solid than fingers. Ivar hums, a deep, masculine sound of approval, and you relax as you feel him push some kind of sex toy into you. It goes in almost embarrassingly easily.

“Don’t take that out.”

Ivar lies back down next to you, eyes lit with mischief.

He reaches up and strokes your cheek. “Feels ok?”

It’s not big enough to be uncomfortable. You wiggle a little, noticing that while something is filling you up deep, you don’t feel anything between your legs. Whatever he put inside you, it’s all the way in there. “Yeah.”

He notices that you sound a little unsure. “You can remove it if there turns out to be a problem.” He takes your hand, drawing it down to feel for yourself. Your fingers hit a silicone circle, the width of a ring, attached to a flexible cord that disappears up inside you. “Ok.”

His blue eyes are still dazzling you. He stares at you a moment longer, your cheeks resting on the same pillow. “It’s late, and I know you’re tired. Why don’t you go tuck yourself in to bed.” 

Why don’t you come tuck me in? You want to ask, but you don’t. Ivar will do things Ivar’s way.

You lift your head, and the toy he put inside you buzzes suddenly. You gasp and stop moving.

A smirk pulls at Ivar’s cheek. “What are you waiting for? I gave you your next instruction.”

Not taking your eyes off his face, you lift your head further. Another pulse hits you, and this time you see a muscle in Ivar’s arm jump, his hand clenched around something he’s hiding from you. A smile tugs at your face, while his goes stern. He motions for you to keep moving.

You sit up, slowly. You’re not sure how well motion is going to go around this mysterious toy, but the pleasant stretch of it flexes with you. No more pulses come.

Ivar sits up beside you. He reaches over and pulls the top of your dress back up over your breasts, tucking each one in with care. Then his face is coming close to yours, his eyes fixed finally upon your lips.

His kiss is mostly chaste, soft and sweet but lingering. You part your lips but he doesn’t press the advantage. “Good night, Y/N,” he says softly, pulling back, guiding you to your feet. “Be sure to go straight to bed.”

You’re unsteady on your heels as you cross to the door, head spinning from the sweetness of that kiss. And also because you realize after the first step that you need to pull your panties back on as you go. You move slowly, reluctant to leave. With one hand on the doorknob you turn your face back toward him.

“Although,” Ivar adds, the profile of his face looking sinister in the dim light, “if you find yourself too distracted to sleep…” he buzzes you again, quick and dirty, “please make all the noises you like. I want to know exactly how you’re feeling.”

You shiver at the fresh thrill that runs through you, and do as he asks. You’re not completely sure why he wants to do this in separate rooms, but the mystery and distance are erotic too. He’s going to be in control of you even when you’re back in your own safe little room. You flash him what you hope is a sultry, yet subservient, meaningful little look before you close his door and take the first of the five steps it takes to walk to your own threshold.

Ubbe is there, leaning his forehead on an arm propped up against your doorframe. Your name is soft and urgent on his lips.

Your instructions from Ivar are still clear. That clarity makes you bold, and you step toward the intruding Ubbe with cool confidence, not shying away from the intensity in his gaze. He’s not actually blocking you from getting in your room, and you just walk past him without uttering a word.

“Show me,” he urges, voice guttural, just as you’re passing beneath his arm. He doesn’t move to stop you, but the tone of his voice arrests you just the same. 

“What?” you ask, looking up at him through your lashes.

“What he did to you.”

Your face suddenly wants to burn as hot as your ass. You step inside your room and turn away from Ubbe, bending at the waist and flipping your skirt up so that he can see what happened to your bottom in the light filtering in from the hallway.

His fingers ball up in the taffeta above your tailbone, pulling the skirts further out of his way. You still don’t know how bad it looks. Ivar had promised ‘red and purple,’ and surely by now welts would have had time to raise. You wonder if Ubbe likes it. 

You hear his breath catch. “He’s not done with you,” he observes, and you feel a tug at the silicone cord that must be hanging out the side of your panties.

“Mhmm,” is all you can reply. You straighten up, and Ubbe lets you go. You turn and give the elder Lothbrok a saucy smile. “He told me to go straight to bed.”

Ubbe extends his palm in a “go ahead then” gesture. He makes no move to leave his post in your doorway.

You back up until your legs hit the mattress, smirking at him the whole time. You pull the bedclothes back and sit down, but make no move to cover yourself up. 

Your bed creaks as you lie back, and a second later the plug inside you bursts to life. You arch your back as it goes on longer and stronger than the pulses Ivar gave you in the other room. It feels so fucking good. You lie back and revel in it. He gives you about a second’s rest, then switches it on again.

You press your legs together, which only intensifies the feeling. It’s maddening to have so much sensation so deep inside, and absolutely nothing to hold on to. You close your eyes tight and grip the pillows at either side of your head. 

Ivar switches to a setting with more of a pattern and you moan, a loud, throaty, wanton sound. It’s a little embarrassing, but you want to make sure he knows you like it. This rhythm makes the intensity easier to bear, and pure pleasure ripples through your entire body as you writhe slowly and enjoy every second of it. 

A floorboard creaks by your door. Your sound has drawn more than one kind of attention. You open dreamy, lidded eyes to see Ubbe has crossed into your room, far enough to turn on your little desk lamp and give himself better lighting for your unintentional show.You wonder if you should warn him off. Ivar changes the pattern before you can decide anything, and you throw your head back and groan at the heightened sensation.

“Let me see,” Ubbe urges, too soft for Ivar to hear through the wall.

Eyes still screwed shut, you reach down and pull your skirt up above your waist. Your upper thighs tingle, exposed to Ubbe’s gaze. Ivar hits you with a few rapid pulses that have you lifting your hips clear off the bed, digging your heels into the mattress as you squeal loud enough for your puppetmaster to hear the effect he’s having on you.

Ubbe’s breathing so heavy that you can easily hear the effect you’re having on him. You wonder if that huffing and puffing is going to turn into the pouncing of a big bad wolf, before this is over. 

“Turn over,” he rumbles at you.What’s the harm in serving two masters? You flip onto your belly, then dig your knees into the mattress so your bruised, abused hindquarters are fully presented to Ubbe’s eyes as the buzzing of Ivar’s toy deep inside you makes you start keening on every outbreath. 

You’re going to come soon. This angle has made the plug press harder against your g-spot. You get louder as the sensation soars, making sure Ivar knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

The buzzing stops. Your wail dies in your throat, and you sag a little. You weren’t close enough to your orgasm that he ruined it, and you wait, hoping desperately that Ivar is just playing with you and not that the battery just died.

You purr and arch your back again when the vibration returns. Just teasing you. The next pattern pulses twice as fast, bringing you back to the brink with loud cries of joy… and again it goes dead, reverting to a hard lump that does nothing but hold you stretched open inside. This time you let your hips crash back to the bed in frustration. 

You sneak a peek at Ubbe, who looks amused, seeming to have guessed at your predicament.

The vibration returns, strong and satisfying, and you moan and sigh your heart out for Ivar. He turns it off again. Your last cry turns into a frustrated screech, and you flip onto your back. How long is he going to do this to you?

After three more repeats of this, you open your eyes to see Ubbe standing over you, hand outstretched, descending slowly toward your open legs. Fuck, he’s offering to help you cheat. How are you supposed to resist that?

You bite your lip and nod, certain that you look like a hot mess, desperate and panting after all this edging. Ubbe rests one knee on the bed beside you, and bends his face close to yours as his fingertips run up and down the center of your panties. “When he stops, I’m going to keep going,” Ubbe says into your ear. “But you can’t make any more sounds.”

Ubbe’s fingertip slides under your panties, and when he presses against your clit you try not to scream any louder than Ivar had already been making you. He doesn’t touch you anywhere else, just that one glorious godly finger, circling your button in the contact you’d been going mad for. Your legs are shaking when Ivar lets the vibration die, and you wail desperately as Ubbe keeps going. It’s so fucking good. 

It’s—It’s not right. It doesn’t feel right to let Ubbe be the one to make you come, after all of Ivar’s hard work. You push his hand away just as Ivar turns the buzzer on again.

But it’s still too late to resist the temptation to cheat. Ubbe’s finger gets replaced by your own, and you bring yourself to orgasm just before Ivar turns his device off. You let yourself keep wailing as your body convulses around the plug, the pleasure of your release heightened by the satisfaction of being filled as well as the relief after so much teasing. Your voice goes ragged, it sounds worse than a porno, and you can’t even care as the pleasure wrings you out and cascades through every fiber of your being. And just as the crest starts to fade, Ivar turns his toy back on and forces you into a second orgasm, one that hits harder and sharper and has you screaming through your teeth at him.

You’re dizzy and breathless when you finally open your eyes. Ubbe’s staring, standing over the bed. He looks totally overwhelmed, in awe at what he just witnessed. He flashes you a smile that manages to be both grateful and promising, and then soundlessly slips out of your room and back to his own.

It’s all you can do to just lay there, trying to catch your breath, for the next few moments. You don’t even know how much time has passed since you decided to slip on this maid costume and see what would happen. You had not expected this. Ivar had knocked you off-balance right away, and kept you guessing this whole time. And Ubbe….well, Ubbe had been less mysterious. Pretty sure what he wants is fairly simple.

You think about the parting look that Ubbe gave you. Did he expect you to silently follow him to his room? You stir in your sheets, feeling totally spent. You are cheerfully, blissfully exhausted, your body fuzzy buzzing and melting into your bed. The delights to be found in Ubbe’s will have to wait for another day. If it ever turns out to be a good idea to go over there.

You can’t say that you feel totally satisfied right now, though. There’s still a skin hunger, left here all alone as you are. You contemplate going back to Ivar’s room, looking for a cuddle. Does Ivar cuddle?

He hadn’t given you any instructions for afterwards.

Several minutes pass this way, your mind and body slowly coming down from everything. At some point you become aware of the toy still tight between your thighs, and you reach down to remove it. It comes out easily and without discomfort when you push down with your kegels as you tug on the silicone ring. You put it on a tissue on the table next to the bed, then lean on your elbow, mustering the willpower to get up and take off your costume.

Ivar appears at the door. He’s still shirtless, wearing only smooth athletic pants, and his hair is down from its elastic and falling all around his face. There’s a thin plastic bottle of something tucked under his arm. You curl your body into a more becoming angle on the bed, wondering if he’s here to collect, if it’s his turn to come now. That kind of urgency seems lacking in his face, though, as he moves to your bedside and sits down next to you.

“How do you feel?”

You make an agreeable noise, and try to think of the right words as he studies your face expectantly. “Awesome,” you finally say, giving up on anything more artful.

Ivar’s smile is pleased, and warm. “Good.” His hand runs up your bare thigh, moving slowly toward your hip. “Did I hurt you too much?” he asks as his fingers near your bruises.

“No.” But your eyes widen when he touches the soreness on your ass, awakening the nerve endings again.

He pushes your skirt back, gently, and you turn onto your belly to give him better access. He makes a soft noise under his breath as he surveys his work. “Your skin is so hot here,” he marvels. His fingers come to the garter straps. “Let me take care of you.”

He unfastens the clips from your stockings, then finds the fastener of the garter belt at your waist and removes it. He lifts your panties carefully off your tender ass and removes them too, pausing to unbuckle and slip off both your spike heels.

“You did so good for me,” he says when he comes back up to your naked hips, running his hand softly over the damage. “This lotion will help.” He flips the cap of the bottle he came in with, and the sensation is indeed blissful as he smooths the cool cream over your skin. A sweet, green sort of smell wafts up to your nose. “My good girl.”

The lotion does something to your nerve endings, making everything feel pleasantly cooled. You sigh and relax into the bed, the rhythm of Ivar’s hands making your eyes close, the sense of his presence, and his approval, wrapping you up in a safety that goes bone-deep.

His hands move to your back after a time, sliding softly over the satin of the costume before drawing the zipper down. “What do you want to sleep in?” he asks.

You lift up, knowing your face looks dreamy and half-asleep, and smile at Ivar. You were intending to go over to your dresser and get that one nice silky nightgown that you save for “sleepovers,” but damn if it isn’t difficult to move. You get as far as kneeling beside him, his hands still softly on your shoulders, before you get lost in his eyes.I

var’s face is never this soft. There’s usually a storm of one kind or another roiling behind that ocean blue; and usually you don’t dare to look too long. But right now, looking at him seems more right than anything in the world. You study the fringe of his eyelashes, the heavy, elegant lines of his brows. When you get to his full, perfect lips, you can’t stop yourself from leaning forward and stealing yourself a kiss.

Ivar’s mouth moves with yours, in languid, nipping motion. It doesn’t turn into the kind of sexual urgency that goes with “making out,” but the soft press and slide of your lips together has a passion of its own, swirling every last bit of energy you have left up into the stratosphere.

Ivar rolls his lips off yours, and speaks into your cheek. “There’s time enough for more later,” he promises. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Your body tingles as you exhale, then move to your dresser and change clothes as gracefully as you can. You think about fresh panties, but your ass would probably be happier staying bare tonight.

You step back to the bed to find that Ivar has already climbed under the covers. He has tucked Mr. Wiggles under his arm, just like he did on the day you moved in. But when you slide in beside him, he tosses the toy toward the foot of the bed in favor of wrapping you in his arms in just the same way. You fall asleep to the soft sound of his breathing, the warm thump of his heartbeat and the trusting little twitches of his own body drifting off to sleep.

Part Five Here

Taglist is open: @walkxthexmoon​   @swagmonstertoes @hanhanxx @perfectus-in-morte​ @xxdearlybeloved​@littledeadrottinghood @persephone-is-here-omg​ @rekdreams247​ @inforapound​ @creepshowzombae​ @tomarisela​ @vladsgirl@youbloodymadgenius @walkxthexmoon@funmadnessandbadassvikings @trashqueenbitch @justlovelifeblog @earl-aive @supernaturalvikingwhore @equalstrashflavoredtrash @that-was-not-supposed-to-happen @ceridwenofwales @grungyblonde @pokeasleepingsmaug @hvittysmutanon @honestsycrets @wuxiesalt @thorins-queen-of-erebor @writingfromasgard @tootie-fruity @tgrrose @amy8220 @laketaj24

[crushedbyhyperbole]

Some Like it Saucy (TFV)

Summary:  Cooped up in the compound while the team conference with Secretary ‘Toss-pot’ Ross, you decide to cook and decorate.  What better way to fill the team’s hearts and bellies than a Marrakech-themed evening with Bucky’s favourite food - Moroccan tagine.

Words:  1.6k

A/N:  Written for @buckybarnesbeans​​ leap year challenge filling the dialog prompt:  “Which one of you Bollocks thinks my chicken is dry?  You? You?”  (In bold).  It’s a Bucky x Reader originally written as an adult reader, but this is the teen-friendly version. Thank you @sassy-pelican​​ for giving the original a read to check for mess-ups

Warnings:  Bad language and British slang. Fluff.  Light on reader insecurities towards the end.

The living areas of the compound were quiet and hollow; the whole team was gone and you were left alone.  It felt eerie.  Like the rest of the world had vanished and you were the sole inhabitant of a world once teeming with life.  You shivered at the thought of such endless solitude.

There were remnants of their existence, of course.  The alluring yet comforting smell of Bucky’s soap in your bathroom this morning, a half-drank mug of coffee on the common room table, a messily folded newspaper with a half-completed crossword puzzle, and an open packet of Tony’s favourite trail mix hidden in the magazine rack.  It wasn’t like they had been snapped out of existence or anything, they were all at a conference with Secretary Ross.

Dickhead, you thought.

Ever since that mission in London where you picked up some amusing English insults that you later took pleasure in using on Secretary Ross, your absence at debriefings and conferences involving him had been, let’s say, strongly advised.  Needless to say, Secretary Ross didn’t appreciate you calling him a wanker and telling him that he talked a load of bollocks.

It had been a fun mission though.  The team had been brought in to help MI5 foil a plot to steal the crown jewels and reunite the nine pieces of the famous Cullinan diamond, which occult conspiracy theorists say was a stone of great power.  Cullinan I, in particular, was an exquisite stone. Housed in the majestic sceptre with the cross, it had piqued your interest purely for its unusual refractive index; there was something about that stone, you could feel it with your powers as you pushed your influence through the security case to interact with the stone.

Goosebumps broke out across your skin and you shook yourself free of the memory.  The eeriness of the compound seemed to have increased since invoking the feeling of the power of the stone but you cast it aside as best you could, latching on to the annoyance you felt that Secretary Ross was robbing you of a lazy morning with Bucky.  Tosser!

Boredom made your bones itch.  You needed to do something other than going back to your room to vegetate until everyone came back, so you decided to cook dinner.  Moroccan chicken tagine. It was one of Bucky’s favourite meals, and since everyone was suffering the presence of Secretary Tosser, you figured they deserved a reward.

Delicious smells of savoury meat, fragrant spices and sweet apricots filled the kitchen as the team emerged from the elevator.  You were finishing up by adding a handful of chopped coriander leaves to the tagine, humming a tune while you worked, when strong arms snaked around your waist and a beardy kiss pressed against your temple.  You’d know the feel and smell of Bucky anywhere.

“Hey, baby!”  You smiled.  “How is Secretary Tosser?”

“You didn’t miss anything good.”  He chuckled in your ear, kissing your neck softly.  You adored that you were both still very much in love after years of being together. “He finally fired that P.A. who wrote that you called him a wanker into the meeting transcript that time.”

“No!”  You gasped.  That woman was a legend in her own right.  “That’s fucking terrible -oooo! I hate that man!”

“Relax, Rainbow Brite,” Tony appeared beside you, “I hired her this afternoon so she’ll take notes for all of our meetings with Ross when he’s here.”  He beamed, lifting the lid of your tagine and groaning with pleasure as the steam rose. “That smells amazing.” 

“Thanks boss.”  You grinned, feeling the fuzzy warmth of his praise and the dark satisfaction that Ross wouldn’t be able to bully that poor P.A. anymore.

“You made this?  Should I be worried?”  Tony feigned horror. “Barnes is still alive so your cooking can’t be all that bad-oof!”  He grunted as you flapped the back of your hand into his gut, hard. 

“Stark!”  You growled in warning.

“Okayyy, good talk.”  He bolted with a cheeky grimace.

Bucky held you tight to his chest so you couldn’t give chase and assault Tony with your wooden spoon.  “Easy, tiger.” He soothed, knowing just how to calm your fiery temper.

The team came together for dinner and you all sat on floor cushions around a low table to eat.  You had enlisted the help of Vision to create your Marrakech themed night and you had both outdone yourselves.  Cannibalising one of the conference rooms had been a stroke of genius and, in your opinion, it was a far better use for the room than boring meetings.  The dim glow of the ornate iron lanterns and the holographic fire courtesy of FRIDAY, the makeshift marquee made from brightly coloured fabrics, the smell from the food you’d made, and the soft but authentic music made you feel like you’d stepped through a portal into a souk lounge in the heart of Morocco.

“Next time, let’s not invite the others.”  Bucky murmured in your ear after you had all settled and began to eat.  “It’ll be just you and me,” he whispered, “with a movie, great food, comfy cushions, and cuddles.”

“Sounds like the recipe for a perfect night.”  You sighed, body relaxing at the thought of unwinding with him and a movie, but what movie?  You loved a high-octane action adventure film, or an epic Sci-Fi, but you also loved a good rom-com too.  As your brain filtered through all the films you had on your Netflix list, you zoned out, running on auto-pilot.

“Pardon me, Y/n?”  The words feel foreign; soft but still plenty sharp to snap you back to reality.

You’d eaten with the team, smiled at them when they’d thanked you for making a wonderful dinner, and had been clearing away dishes in a complete daze.  Across the kitchen, Bucky smirked at you from where he was piling plates into the dishwasher. That little shit knew exactly what he’d done.

“Miss y/n?”  Vision looked concerned as he laid a hand gently on your shoulder.  “Is everything alright?”

“I’m good.”  You mentally shook yourself, making a mental note to torment Bucky later, maybe make him watch that terrible mermaid show you found.  “I’m aaaalll good.”

Vision nodded curtly, pausing a moment before he addressed the reason he’d approached you in the first place.

“I’ve taken the liberty of suggesting an amendment for your tagine recipe, to increase the sauce to meat ratio while leaving the delicate balance of flavours intact.”

“Why?  What’s wrong with my recipe?” 

“Nothing is wrong.”  He smiled warmly. “A comment was made that more sauce would have been welcome.”

“More sauce, huh?”  You slid your tray of crockery onto the nearest counter and picked up a tray of baked spiced orange pastries and mint sugared pineapple pieces.  “I’ll take it under advisement.”

When you delivered dessert and settled on your cushion next to Bucky, he squeezed your thigh reassuringly as the chatter quietened while the team tucked into the delicious moist pastries.  He was about to tell you he was proud of you for not allowing your irritation to flare but he didn’t get the chance. He knew you were insecure, underneath the foul mouth and the bravado was a girl who needed reassurance that she was more than just good enough.

“So…”  You cocked your head as the eyes of the whole team fell on you.  “Which one of you bollocks thinks my chicken is dry?”  You pointed your spoon around the table starting at Sam.  “You?” He was always the first to talk shit, even if it was just a joke.  “You?” Natasha fell under your gaze.

“No one said it was dry, sweetie.”  She smiled kindly, seeing your outburst for what it was – you really needed to know you’d done a good job.  You’d felt useless being stuck at the compound while the rest of the team had meet and greets with officials.  No matter how boring they really were, you felt left out. You’d had Vision for company but he didn’t share your feelings. “I just said I’d kill for more of that awesome sauce and Vision, being the pragmatic type, figured he’d save lives and help you update the recipe.”

You huffed a little but relaxed as Bucky laid his arm across your shoulder.  “You know she likes things a bit saucy, babe.” He winked at you.

“Don’t give me that… you big winker!”  You chuckled and elbowed him in the ribs playfully.  “Earlier you said something about movies and cuddles, and I expect you to deliver.”

Bucky was up on his feet immediately, pulling you up and slinging you over his shoulder while you squealed in protest.  “If you’ll excuse us,” he addressed the room, “we have a recipe to discuss.”

“Sounds like a recipe for disaster.”  Sam scoffed around a mouthful of pineapple.

“Don’t tempt fate.”  Nat scolded.

Bucky snagged a couple of colourful cushions and whacked you with them as he carried you giggling from conference room Marrakech.  He was a man of his word and you could expect nothing but relaxation and adoration.  And, as the door of your room closed firmly, you found that you didn’t much mind spending the day apart because he was there now, and always would be.

[scourgeofsunfall]

CXIV.

Kharn and Razakol stepped back out into the night together. It didn't take much convincing on his part to get her to join on his little adventure. They spoke while moving up the hillside.

"What makes you think that we will find these creatures?"

"We may not tonight, but the sooner we start looking, the sooner we will find them."

"Why look anyway?"

"So we can learn what sort of danger we face. Jakhis was unhelpful in providing information. I am confident that the two of us can survive whatever it may be, but I do not know about the others. They will need to know as much as they can to be as safe as possible. We can't afford to lose anyone to local wildlife."

"And why up there?"

"Jakhis said they would sometimes come around his tower. I don't have any other idea of where to find them. If we are lucky, our presence will draw them in."

"Sure." Razakol said. She didn't seem very impressed by Kharn's plan. Kharn wasn't either, but they had little to go on and he wanted to know as much in as short a time as possible.

They walked the rest of the way up the hill in silence. When they reached the tower and the lone building standing next to it, there was no sign anything had visited since the last time they were there.

"We haven't looked in there yet, have we?" Kharn said while he looked at the building.

"We haven't." Razakol said, "I can. You see what Jakhis left behind in his humble home."

Once Kharn had climbed the ladder, he took a look around, but didn't find anything new in the small space. What scraps of food there had been had been taken, as was the bedroll. The books had been left behind. He picked one up, but there was nothing on its binding to indicate what was inside. Kharn was still a poor reader, but flipping through the first few pages, he guessed that it was something about the ways different plants could be used. He stuffed it into his backpack. The others in the small pile seemed less practical: A book of poetry, an human epic of some sort, and a saucy romantic story. Still, he had the room, so he packed them up anyway.

"Kharn, come on down!" Razakol said from below, "There's something you should see."

He hoisted his pack around his shoulders and climbed back down. When he entered the building, he immediately saw what Razakol was talking about. There were piles of excavated stone and ore lying in large metal bins, but in the back one of them held a different bounty: A pile of the blood crystal they had taken from below, glowing just like the piece they had taken for themselves.

[rmg91]

The Woes and Antics of Living Together-22

Second to last chapter folks! Can you believe it?! We're basically in gratuitous fluff territory now and that makes me so happy. I love fluff XD This chapter is a little bit different from the rest though as I've tried to write it as if you were watching parts of Poppy's blogs. So please excuse any awkward endings, it's harder than you think to write like that.

These don't really follow too much of a timeline other than they're all between a few weeks post!Broppy get together and about a year or so afterwards.

Hope you enjoy!

Previous Chapter/Next Chapter; AO3/FF.net

@writerofberk-Fluff, fluff, fluffy fluff! 

                                                   ~*~*~*~*~*~

“Cooking with Branch~”

“Hey there, My cupcakes!” Poppy said excitedly to the camera, grinning widely as Branch stood a little awkwardly next to her. They were in their kitchen with a collection of ingredients on the counter in front of them. “I hope you're all ready for this weeks video cause it's one you've all been requesting! Cooking with Branch!” She gestured wildly at him, with wide arms and jazz hands.

“Why did I agree to do this again?” Branch asked, arms crossed as he watched Poppy with a flat look.

“Mmm...” Poppy hummed, finger held to her chin before she grinned at him, “Because you love me~”

Branch blushed bright red and sputtered a little before coughing, “Right...” He sighed, cheeks still pink as he scrubbed at his hair, “So how are we doing this?”

“Just tell them what we're making and how to do it!”

The dark blue haired man looked a little unsure at her before sighing and turning to address the camera, “Right, so...Poppy's requested we make spaghetti sauce and..um...yeah?” He turned back to Poppy to hiss, “This is stupid, what am I actually doing?”

“You're doing fine, Branch.” Poppy said to him, placing her hand on top of his, “Just act like you're teaching me. Explain what you're doing as you do it.” The pinkette flashed a grin at the screen, “Branch's sauce is the best! And great for more than just pasta! It's really good in lasagna and with a few tweaks makes a great pizza sauce too!”

“Right.” Branch took in a breath and breathed out, “So, to start we take onion and start chopping it before sweating in the pan...”

As he began to demonstrate, Branch seemed to forget he was being filmed and went on to confidently explain the process. Poppy jumped in at times, either to pass a ingredient or spice, talking more with the audience about up coming parties and functions. She and Branch even bantered back and forth while Branch stirred the concoction Poppy gushed about smelling amazing. She carefully held the camera up to show the simmering sauce in the pot as Branch explained that it needed to simmer for about an hour or so before it was ready to be eaten.

“And there you have it!” Poppy said brightly as Branch began cleaning up, “Branch's super special pasta sauce!” He could be seen blushing in the background as she praised him, “The recipe will be down below and be sure to comment if you make it! We'd love to hear how you guys like it!” The pinkette wrapped an arm around his to stop him as she made him look at the camera, “Be sure to subscribe if you're new and let us know if you want more cooking segments! I'm sure I can convince Branch to do them~” She winked saucily causing another round of blush to come Branch's face. She giggled gleefully, “See you next time and stay sweet~!”

                                           ~*~*~*~*~*~

“Mini Golfing-So much fun!”

“And we're back, everyone,” Guy Diamond said into the camera, voice taking on a hushed announcer quality, “For the thrilling conclusion of today's epic mini golf battle. Oh the drama! The intrigue!” He flipped the camera to show Branch and Poppy facing one another, competitive looks on their faces as the stood in front of the last hole. “Our contestants are tied at forty-one hits each. Will Poppy 'Play From Your Heart' Meadows come out victorious? Or will Branch 'The Strictler' Hawthorn beat our favorite champion once again? Let's find out.”

Branch broke his stare off with Poppy to glare at Guy, “Who are you calling a strickler?!”

“Ah-ah-ah, Branch!” Poppy said, wagging a finger in front of his face, “Don't go getting distracted. We're about to end this and I'm about to get my championship back!”

Branch snorted and crossed his arms, leaving a smug look toward Poppy, “So sure about that are you? Pretty sure, I beat you fairly soundly last time.”

Poppy stood with her hands on her hips, “Oh, don't be getting so smug, Mister. That was a one time thing and since I'm so sure I'm going to win...What do you say to a little bet?”

The Snack Pack could all be heard going 'Oooooh' in the background and Guy muttered, “Looks like things just got intresting.”

Branch rolled his eyes before smirking, “Fine. What did you have mind?”

Poppy flashed a confident smile up at her boyfriend, “If I win-you come clubbing with us tonight and you have to dance with me. No sitting at table. If you win...” She suddenly leaned up and whispered something in his ear that had a blush bloom against his cheeks and neck before standing back down with a saucy smirk, “Do we have a deal?”

Branch struggled for a moment before he managed to croak out, “Deal!”

“Ooh-ho-ho~! Seems like something naughty was just put on the table.” Guy chuckled before resuming his 'Announcer Voice', “And now, Miss Meadows is lining up her shot.”

Poppy took her time to judge the distance she would need to hit the ball before giving her hips a little wiggle, shimming her shoulders and blowing out a trumpet like sound before she whacked the ball down the course. The ball bounced too and fro, hitting an obstacle or two before rolling to a stop right on the edge of the hole. The Snack Pack all groaned alongside Poppy before Branch took his turn. He took a calmer approach than Poppy, taking a second to glare at Smidge who had coughed before he hit it. It bounced around like Poppy's, rolling hard over a hill before coming to a gentle stop beside Poppy's ball and nudging the pink sphere into the hole. The group of friends cheered and Poppy began a victory dance.

“Oh yeah! I win!” She danced around Branch happily, “Thank for the hole-in-one, Honey~” She then pulled her frowning boyfriend down for a quick kiss. She laughed joyously, before waving her hands up in the air, “Clubbing's gonna be so fun tonight!”

                                                 ~*~*~*~*~*~

FabulousDiamond posted a new video-

“Well!” Guy said into his phone's camera, voice loud to be heard over the pumping music in the club. Bodies of people could be seen in the background as he easily moved between them, “We now know what happens when Branch gets a couple of drinks in him!”

He laughed as he turned the phone to capture the dancing duo in the center of a ring of people. Branch and Poppy, twirling around in a rather impressive display of spins and dips, singing along to 'DJ got us Falling in Love.' Branch didn't seem to care he was being watched as spun Poppy away from him only to bring her back against his chest before dipping her low. Poppy could be seen laughing, said laughter getting drowned out by cheers and music, before she wrapped her arms around Branch's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. More cheers sounded, Guy hooting himself before ending the video.

                                             ~*~*~*~*~*~

“Benefit Concert!!”

“Okay...I think I got it...” A female voice said before the camera focused on a young woman with medium blue hair, some strands still covered in paint. She was standing the middle of an excited crowd, people starting to get hyped for something exciting, “Hey, everyone! Harper here! I'm sure Poppy's already told you all what this is all about so I won't bore you with details. Anyway, I guess I'm guest host for tonight! Oh!” Harper looked off camera before flashing a grin, “Looks like everything's about to get started!”

The camera turned and faced a large stage, colorful streamers and balloons hanging from it. The crowd started cheering and applauding Gristle who was walking out with a microphone. He grinned and waved before gesturing for the crowd to calm down. “Hey there, everyone!! Thanks for coming!” More applause answered him and he had to wait for it to die down before continuing, “You all know why we're here, to help raise funds for a new animal shelter! And I'm please to announce that it looks like we're gonna meet our goal!” Even more cheers sounded, the camera bobbing up and down as Harper bounced and cried happily. “So! Without further ado! Let's give up for your entertainment for tonight!”

The crowd went absolutely wild as Gristle left the stage and the music began to play. Poppy came prancing out, wearing a cute teal blue, sequined dress and a flower headband, “I've got this feeling in my bones~! It's goes electric wavy when I turn it on!”

Branch came strutting out from the opposite side of Poppy, dressed up in shiny black pants, a white shirt and a sequined green vest, “And if you want it, inside your soul.”

“Just open up your heart, let music take control~!” They sang together as they reached center stage. “I got that sunshine in my pocket, got that good soul in my feet! I feel that hot blood in my body, when it drops-” They dropped their shoulders as they slid past each other, “Oooh~! I can't take my eyes off it, movin' so phenomenally! Room on lock, the way we rock it, so don't stop!”

Suddenly the lights illuminated the rest of the Snack Pack behind them, all dressed up in equally glittery outfits as they all sang while Branch and Poppy began dancing with each other, grabbing each other's hands and swinging across the stage, “And under the lights when everything goes... Nowhere to hide when I'm gettin' you close..” Branch made sure to tug Poppy a little closer before spinning her around, “When we move, well, you already know... So just imagine, just imagine, just imagine...!”

Branch spun Poppy away, where she struck a pose before dancing back over to him, “Nothin' I can see but you dance, dance, dance!” He twirled her around some more, never breaking eye contact before she pull away to perform of few of her own moves, “Feel a good, good creepin' up you, so just dance, dance, dance! All those things I shouldn't do but you dance, dance, dance.” Branch slid around Poppy to grab her around her waist before twisting her around and dancing across the stage with her in his arms, “Ain't nobody leavin' soon, so keep dancin'! I can't stop the feelin'! So just dance, dance, dance~” Poppy twisted her hips from side to side before spinning away from Branch, “I can't stop the feelin'! So just dance, dance, dance!”

They continued to dance across the stage, the Snack Pack joining in for more complicated moves, voices harmonizing as the crowd cheered wildly. The camera was jostled slightly but Harper kept it as steady as she could while also enjoying the musical number, crying out Biggie's name happily. The group ended it with a few more complicated looking moves before Branch scooped Poppy up in his arms for a final spin, holding her easily when they stopped and she flung out an arm in a finishing pose. Everyone screamed and cheered loudly for the performers, who happily took bows before the next song began to play.

                                            ~*~*~*~*~*~

“Camping Weekend”

The camera focused on a smiling Poppy, hair down and sort of messy, with a blanket being worn over her shoulders. It could be seen she was sitting in a bright green tent on what could only be described as a nest of blankets with the pitter-pattering of rain echoing around her. A bit of blue hair could be seen sticking out from the breathing pile of blankets beside her. She giggled softly as she adjusted and glanced around her surroundings.

“So, it started raining,” She said with another giggle, “But hey, at least Branch and I are all snug and warm in our tent. And I know all our supplies is safely protected too, so we don't have to worry about that. Having a paranoid, 'everything's gonna go wrong' boyfriend comes in handy, I guess!”

“Ha-ha, very funny.” Branch's voice floated up flatly from his cocoon.

“Aww, you know I don't mean that.” She snickered lightly, hand reaching over to card her fingers through his hair, “But really,” She now addressed the camera again, “Having Mister 'Man with a Plan' here is great. And as you can see, he's made us a nice cozy nest of pretty much all the blankets from home! You'd think camping would have more sleeping bags!”

“Well excuse me for saving us the uncomfortableness that is sleeping on the cold hard ground.” Branch grumbled.

Poppy laughed and gently pushed his shoulder, “I'm not complaining and you know it!” She giggled some more, “Anyway... Hopefully the rain stops soon so we can go on that hike I mentioned earlier. I was so looking forward to it! And showing you all the pretty scenery!” She pouted slightly as Branch mumbled something about 'stupid weather apps' before she sighed, “But I guess if we can't, we can't...We've still had so much fun already! Isn't that right, Branch?”

Branch hummed his agreement before unwrapping an arm and throwing it around Poppy's waist, “And if we do have to go home early, we can come back and do this again.”

“Yup!” Poppy agreed brightly, “So I guess I'll see you all either on the trail or on the car ride home! Till later!”

                                                    ~*~*~*~*~*~

“Karaoke Night~!”

The Karaoke bar featured was lit intimately, lights low with the lit candles on the tables giving everything a warm glow. Milton was currently on stage, crooning a love ballad to Smidge who sat close to the stage with a blush staining her cheeks. The rest of the patrons all watched, some smiling at the display, some boredly, other's, like Bridget and Gristle, swaying in their seats to the music. Poppy's signature giggle could be heard coming softly from behind the camera before she started half whispering to someone.

“Come on, you promised.” She said, a slightly whine in her otherwise playful tone.

Branch's groan was then heard, “Poppy...”

“Pleeease? You do it so well at home~ And it's not like this is your first time singing in front of us.”

A long suffering sigh was then heard, “Fine, fine. I'll do it.” There was a brief moment of silence between then before Poppy could be heard giggling again and Branch could be heard saying, “Why do I let you talk me into these things?”

“Because you love me~”

“Hmm...I guess I do.”

The people then began clapping as Milton finished, Poppy joining in happily before shooing Branch up on stage. She then twisted the camera to film him going up and choosing the song he was going to sing, excited giggles escaping her, “Oh, you guys are gonna love this!”

Branch took the stage with a mild amount of applause, most coming from the Snack Pack, before shaking his head, a fond smile gracing it, as Poppy wolf whistled at him. He then nodded for the music to start playing. A slow, jazzy piano tune started to play and Branch began, his angel like voice filtering through the place.

“Mama, I don't have time for dancin'...That's just gonna have to wait a while~ Ain't got time for messin' around and it's not my style...” He swayed side to side, eyes closed, “This old town can slow you down, people takin' the easy way... But I know exactly where I'm goin', gettin' closer n' closer ever day~!”

As the music began to turn more jaunty, Branch started to move with it, shoulders bouncing, “And I'm almost there! I'm almost there. People down here think I'm crazy,” He spun a finger beside his ear, grinning toward where the Snack Pack sat, “But I don't care! Trials and tribulations, I've had my share, there ain't nothin' that's gonna stop me now, and I'm almost there!”

He tapped his foot to the beat as he removed the microphone from the stand, looking up and off to the side, “I remember Daddy told me, fairy tales can come true. You gotta make them happen, it all depends on you~” He faced and smiled at the small audience then, “So I work real hard each and every day, now things for sure are going my way. Just doin' what I do, look out girls I'm coming through~!” He flashed a wink at Poppy that had her laughing in enjoyment.

“And I'm almost there! I'm almost there. People gonna come here from everywhere! I'm almost there and I'm almost there!” Just the music played while Branch took a breath before the tone turned soft again and he stepped off stage, “There's been trials and tribulations, you know I've had my share...” He walked over just slightly off camera before pulling Poppy back towards the stage, the music picking up again, “But I've climbed a mountain and I've crossed a river and I'm almost there! I'm almost there. And I'm aaallmost-” He sudden picked up Poppy and spun her around as he sang the last note proudly, “Theeeeeeeeere!” He sat her down, grinning down at her, “I'm almost there.”

The crowd cheered as Poppy giggled in his arms before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a short kiss. More cheers and a few wolf-whistles sounded before Poppy pulled back and flounced her way up on stage, claiming she was next.

                                                    ~*~*~*~*~*~

“Let's Pack! Pt 2”

Poppy was laughing as she placed DVD's and games into another box, regaling to her audience about the time where she and the Snack Pack had been having a Murder Mystery party and Guy had hypnotized Cooper, “So! Cooper thought he was the worlds greatest detective for like three days! Then he started solving things that didn't need to be solved and almost ruined a big surprise Chenille had for Satin so that's when Guy and I convinced him he need to solve the 'Case of the Missing Cooper' and-” She snorted slightly as she grinned, “He 'solved' it by becoming Cooper again!” She giggled while shaking her head, placing a few more movies in her current box before taping it up.

“So-” Before she could be began another tale, Branch suddenly cried out.

“Branch?! What happened?!” Poppy cried, already half up before Branch replied.

“I found more goddamn glitter in the carpet!!!”

“Oh...” Poppy sank back down with a snicker, trying to hide it behind her hand.

“This is no laughing matter!” Branch's voice got clearer as he came out into the living room, “How can there be glitter everywhere?! I've vacuumed five times and I keep finding it!! It is not invading our new apartment! No, sire-e! Nu-uh! You can find a different hobby!”

Poppy giggled, “You can't contain the glitter, Branch! And it's gonna invade alright, you know you can't stop me from using it.”

“I can try!” He huffed, crossing his arms.

Poppy laughed as she got up and walked over to Branch, throwing her arms around his neck as she stood on her toes, “You can, true! But if you can have your ration box, I can have my glitter. And I did promise to try and keep in my new craft room, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah...” He wrapped his arms around her, rubbing his nose against hers, “How's it going out here?”

“It's great! I was just telling everyone about the time Cooper got hypnotized into Chummy Sparklestone!”

Branch snorted as he pulled away, “Course you were.” Shaking his head, mouth quirked up as he looked at Poppy fondly before speaking up, “Comment and tell Poppy how pointless glitter is!”

“Hey!” She cried indignantly, “It is not!” She playfully swatted at him as she turned to the camera, “Don't comment that! Comment on how much Branch needs to embrace the glitter!”

“Never!” He shouted before picking her up and spinning her around the empty looking living room, most of Poppy's pictures packed away already.

Poppy squealed and laughed as Branch put her down, kissing the top of her head before she pulled away. Picking up the camera she smiled at it, “Well, guys, I think I'll leave this here for now. Updates can be seen on my other social and next time you see us, we'll be at the new place! Stay sweet~!”

                                             ~*~*~*~*~*~

And there you have it! Some short, sweet shots of Broppy goodness! I hope I managed to pull off Branch getting more confident during his time together with Poppy. He's at least gotten use to her vlogging a lot of things lol! Anyway, last chapter will be the epilogue and this will be completed. Aahhh!! I can't believe it's almost over!  (Also I'd like to point out in Guy's short vid, Branch isn't really drunk, he's just had just enough to not let his social anxiety get to him too much and to just enjoy dancing with Poppy. Branch would never allow himself to get horribly drunk.)

Can’t Stop The Feeling-Dreamworks Trolls

Almost There-Disney (Caleb Hyles version pictured)

[anhed-nia]

NOTTING HILL

I bet there's five or six of you still out there who are wondering why I haven't written almost all year, and whether I'm still gonna do Blogtober this year. Well, I YAM! In fact, you'll get a double dose of autumn bullshit from me, since I'll be traveling to Fantastic Fest this September to find out what the fuss is all about. (Actually I already know and I'm STOKED!) Meanwhile, to prove I am still alive and able to string a run-on sentence together, please "enjoy" my review of a TRUE horror film: Roger Mitchell's 1999 romantic-comic mega hit, NOTTING HILL.

Even if you know me pretty well, you might not know that I have a ritual of becoming very stoned and watching popular romantic comedies to try to figure out what regular jagoffs want, like how the other half lives. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm observing evidence of an alien civilization, and sometimes I feel like I'm just watching the end of the world. I always try to stay open to the possibility that they might be better than I think they are, though, sort of the way I am strangely invested in whether there are truly good Christians out there and not just nominal celebrants who have a convenient justification for their bigotry...

Um where was I, anyway, with all that said: I am here to declare that NOTTING HILL is the stupidest fucking movie ever made by a human being. It is infinitely dumber than INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS or BLOOD FREAK or COLOR ME BLOOD RED, or whatever other garbage I excuse as secret art (but it is!), and that's just in terms of internal logic--I'm not even getting into matters of taste. What happens in this movie is, Hugh Grant spills orange juice all over perfect stranger and famous actress Julia Roberts, she agrees to go inside his house to change her clothes, and then they just start frenching. There's so little reason for it that Julia Roberts has to say out loud that it doesn't make any sense, just to try to make it "make sense" for the audience. Straight away she invites herself to dinner with his family, which is mostly represented by a montage of people laughing for no reason so you can tell how charming they all are. (N.B. This exact scene happens in SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS) Then they just seem to be on this endless date, punctuated by nauseating adult contemporary ballads about epic romance, that finally ends when it is revealed that Julia Roberts already has a boyfriend. I had been waiting and waiting to figure out what the actual plot of this was, and it finally arrives A FULL HOUR INTO THE MOVIE.

Hugh Grant is let down, but for some reason not at all put off that his perfect female is a cheat and a liar. I guess this is because her boyfriend is a lout, as illustrated by Alec Baldwin in exactly one startlingly brief appearance, suggesting that the fact that he's rude and dumb means he deserves just whatever. Anyway, in not too long, Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts get back together because what else could happen--btw she will finally mention that she didn't know if she was still *In a Relationship* with Alec Baldwin at almost the end of the movie when it doesn't matter anymore. That plot point just goes away as soon as it arrives, and then the new plot is that potentially career-ruining old racy photos of Julia Roberts have emerged, the head-parts of which suggest to me that they are just stills from MYSTIC PIZZA. Then that plot point goes away. Then the new plot is that the paparazzi get pictures of Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant slouching around his apartment in lounge wear, and even though Hugh Grant's mystifyingly dirty, crazy, rape-y roommate is in the mix, the whole world decides that this means Julia Roberts is cheating on Alec Baldwin and she is ruined once again. But, some time elapses, and then Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts just get married and have a baby. THE END!

The excuses for humor in this movie are bizarrely infantile, and eerily similar to especially bad, needy Avengers fan posts on tumblr, with saucy little quips and jabs and flirts that turn into inconvenient boners for our chronically aroused and embarrassed hero. One example involves a long exchange about whether Julia Roberts would eat out Mel Gibson's asshole--sorry, his "bottom". Another involves Hugh Grant saying "whoopsie-daisies", which Julia Roberts charges is an antiquated term that makes him sound like an old man, totally ignoring the fact that a) it's a timeless term used only with babies, and b) IT'S FUCKING "WHOOPSIE DAISY", I GODDAMN GOOGLED IT.

The weirdest thing about this movie is that the director also made something called THE MOTHER, a sometimes unbearably intense drama about an elderly woman who gets horrifically exploited by her mentally ill adult daughter and the daughter's manipulative boyfriend. I guess NOTTING HILL is worth it if it means you can afford to make something actually good after.

Anyway, sorry about this long post about NOTTING HILL, which is probably not the kind of thing you're here for. But don't you dare suggest that I just "spoiled it" for you, I am PROTECTING YOU FROM IT.

PS The second weirdest thing about NOTTING HILL is the presence of Gina McKee, who looks so much like Hugh Grant that she might as well be a drag king of him--and even though a major character in this movie is supposed to be Hugh Grant's sister, they cast Gina McKee as his best friend. Go figure!!

[silver-wields-a-pen]

Tag game: 11/11/11

Tagged by @hyba ^=^

1. If you had to choose one color per OC, what would they be? Nyima: Blue Ghenha: Yellow Voon: Green Belias: Red Eren: Silver Ji-hoon: Teal Yueliang: Lavander Ndiaye: Rainbow (it counts) Anna: Charcoal

2. Do you enjoy writing at a desk or on your bed / couch / floor / etc.? I prefer writing at the table because my back hurts otherwise

3. Tell us anything you want about a current WIP / OC! Thaw: I’ve written about six different “final battle” scenes for it and there’s a joke to that effect in chapter 25. Brotherhood: My fave thing about all the boys is how they start off as unlikable assholes and through the power of character development turn into decent people — but they couldn’t do that if they didn’t have it in them in the first place to be decent, it just takes someone caring enough to point out the obvious.

4. What’s one way, in your opinion, to effectively describe a setting that is completely imaginary so that readers can also see it in their minds? I get together general images of what I want. Like, when I needed to describe Tan Shun’s apartment there wasn’t an exact image that had all the elements I wanted and others I need for scenes I’ve already drafted. I put together pictures that made up the whole how I liked it and then gave it a single decorative style in the description. For fantasy locations it’s not much different. If you can image search the main elements you want to describe then collage them and build the rest of the room or area around it. So, if you need a glade with a tree. Find a picture that fits how you want your tree to look and then fill the other details around it.

5. What are some favourite words of yours? Snicker: It’s one of those amused sounding words that isn’t quite a laugh, but doesn’t sound sneery or mocking either, like snigger does. Quip: Fast paced banter or joking. Makes me think the person quipping is whip smart and wears a constant smirk. Lover: Cute, a bit old-fashioned, but definitely no hiding what that person is to the other.

6. What are some things you notice when you first start reading a story? (Do you look at the diction, the writing style, the dialogue, the descriptions, etc.?) I like strong characters. Especially strong women, and not just in the sense of them being in charge, but emotionally and mentally strong. These are women who aren’t going to fold in a stiff breeze, but they’ll still take help when they need it. They don’t hate men or think they don’t need them. They’re the kind of women who know they’re everyone’s equal and don’t need to prove it. Besides that I can’t help noticing grammar, but I ignore it because I’m not being paid to pick holes in people’s writing, unless they pay me, or ask nicely lool

7. What’s one scene that has been very hard for you to write? Frozen: Caleen’s miscarriage and her sister-in-law’s death killed me and just thinking about it makes me tear up! Frozen Flame: The scenes with Gehail were kind of tough because it’s hard to balance writing how insane she is and make her come across reasonable. Thaw: The backstory with Sylmy and Ifrit wasn’t pleasant, but I think I rushed it, so that’s going to get another go over when I edit.

Brotherhood: Nothing so far, since I’m only two chapters into Divinely Volatile and the other books are just random scenes. I’m expecting things to get tough when I get to the middle and all the mystery comes undone.  

8. Do you have a favourite OC? Frozen: Caleen. She’s Nyima’s mom and I adore her. She’s tough, badass, doesn’t give up even when the odds are stacked against her. She loves her tribe, family and baby with her whole heart and deserved better than the story I wrote. Frozen Flame: Nyima. She’s my bby. Thaw: Belias. He’s a fire demon, so the total opposite of Nyima and I love the contrast their personalities have. He’s a saucy bamf and knows it.

Brotherhood: Overall I just love Ji-hoon. He’s a cynical asshole who’s over pretty much everything. At the same time he’s also throwing a big why me pity party. He’s a mess and I adore him. 

9. Favourite music to listen to while you write? I don’t listen to music most of the time because it stops me thinking of the right word I want. When I’m writing specific scenes, I use theme music and repeat it until I’m done. For Nyima’s epic entrance in Frozen Flame I had the intro to Final Fantasy: Type 0 on because bby is dramatic af and it fit the mood. I’ve had a few different final battle songs for Thaw, which might explain why I’ve got so many drafts loool

10. What is one genre you don’t think you’ll ever want to write and why? Horror. No thnx. Don’t like scary.

11. Do you share your writing on a platform other than tumblr? Ao3 has most of my fan fiction. I also signed up to beta books, but I don’t have any readers yet. 

Questions: 

What, in your opinion, are the most important elements of good writing?

How do you do research?

When you’re writing an emotionally draining (or sexy, or sad, etc) scene, how do you get in the mood?

What is the key theme and/or message?

What was a highlight point?

What is your writing kryptonite?

What’s your go to writing snack?

Would you kill off a major character for shock value?

Favourite type of scene to write?

Pantser or plotter?

What’s an interesting thing you’ve learned while researching?

Tagging: @illthdar @whimsicallytwisted @raylenequinn @els-writes @scottishhellhound @mvcreates @aslanwrites @soul-write @focusdumbass @waywordwriter @ghoulei

[starwarsnonsense]

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote - London Film Festival Review

Seeing The Man Who Killed Don Quixote yesterday was, to put it mildly, a rather surreal experience. I’ve known Terry Gilliam since I was a little kid introduced to the delightful weirdness of Monty Python’s Flying Circus by her dad (Gilliam mostly concentrated on the animation for Python - a favourite ‘sketch’ of mine involves a people-eating pram), and after I saw Brazil at university I was hooked on his work as a director. The Man Who Killed Don Quixote is a film of quasi-mythic proportions, with Gilliam first coming up with the idea for a Don Quixote film before I was even born. An aborted attempt to make it with Johnny Depp and Jean Rochefort, became so plagued by bad luck that the entire project collapsed. Even the version of the film that Gilliam actually got made, now with Adam Driver and Jonathan Pryce as his stars, continues to be cursed - this time, a legal challenge from a former producer has resulted in the movie failing to get distribution outside of a few European countries. I am one of the lucky ones in that I was able to see it at the London Film Festival. 

(n.b. if you’re in the UK and missed it in London, there is a screening in Bath, Somerset on 10 November 2018.)

Now I’ve seen it with my own two eyes, I can say that The Man Who Killed Quixote (hereafter Quixote) is a quintessential Terry Gilliam film - it has the quirky humour, surreal images and blending of fantasy and reality you’d expect. It was messy as hell, but it was thoroughly entertaining. I saw 10 films at the London Film Festival, and while I saw several films that were better I enjoyed Quixote the most out of all of them.

I will be writing a full and detailed review of the film below, which will include spoilers. If you want to wait for an opportunity to see the film for yourself, I recommend skipping this review and waiting for your chance.

The film starts by introducing us to Adam Driver as Toby, who is directing an elaborate, Quixote-themed commercial. Driver excels as a cocky, egotistical womaniser - while he flits from woman to woman and frequently confuses their names, he nonetheless remains appealing and charming. At a dinner Toby is approached by a mysterious gypsy who offers him a bootleg DVD of a student film he made 10 years prior - seeing the film again causes Toby to become distracted and reminisce about his student days, and the creativity and passion for filmmaking that he has now lost. Upon returning to the village he used as the setting for his film, he finds he left shattered lives in his wake - Javier, the cobbler he cast as Quixote, is now convinced that he’s the old adventurer, and insists that Toby is actually his squire Sancho Panza. Another casualty of Toby’s student film was Angelica, the daughter of the local innkeeper, who Toby seduced with naive suggestions of a career in the movies - Angelica went to the city to pursue her dream, but found herself resorting to escort work when the stardom she’d aspired towards came to nothing.

Through a series of bizarre events too convoluted to properly describe, Toby has to team up with Javier/Quixote, and they make for a delightfully entertaining odd couple. While Javier/Quixote is steadfast in his identity as Don Quixote de la Mancha (Pryce is typically charming, although the role doesn’t call for him to do much beyond be obstinately cheerful and bull-headed with his persistence), Toby goes on an epic journey of development and self-reflection - through his encounters, he is forced to face up to the consequences of his actions. More importantly, however, he is forced to acknowledge the power and importance of fantasy and imagination. While Toby starts off ranting at Javier/Quixote, driven by panic and frustration as he demands that his companion break free of his delusion, he eventually recognises that there is something admirable in how Javier/Quixote lives. Javier/Quixote, as it turns out, possesses all the honour and integrity that Toby lost long ago. In this film, delusion isn’t depicted as a state to which you retreat to escape - it’s shown to be something emboldening that allows people to face things, achieve things, that would be unthinkable if they were entirely sane. 

Take, for example, the relationship between Toby and Angelica. We first see them together as young people in flashback - their first meeting is framed in terms of her innocence and his youthful enthusiasm. They respond to those qualities in each other, and Toby carries the memory of an innocent and beatific Angelica in his mind right up until the moment when her father confronts him with the knowledge that Angelica has become a sex worker (a well-deserved criticism of this movie is that every single female character is either a crone, a whore or a pious virgin, with some characters skipping between categories as the plot demands). 

When they reunite in the present, it’s in a magical environment - Toby has fallen into a cave filled with water, and he looks up to see Angelica bathing under a waterfall, framed to look ethereal and nymph-like. It’s very much a reunion that feeds into Toby’s idealised memories, going some way towards overcoming his knowledge of the state she has been reduced to. Later, he can no longer escape that reality - at an elaborate medieval-themed costume part held by Angelica’s vile lover and keeper, Alexei, Toby is forced to watch as Angelica is debased and humiliated, having to lick the remains of a canape from Alexei’s foot. It’s deeply upsetting - for the viewer as much for Toby.

This sight kickstarts a kind of psychological collapse in Toby - he goes from insulting Angelica, cruelly condemning her “choice” to remain a whore (in those insults, I sensed Toby’s need for Angelica’s situation to be her fault, rather than his), to being shocked from that spite and cynicism during his dance with her. Angelica slaps him for each insult, and at the culmination of the dance they kiss passionately and resolve to run away together. They are held back by Javier/Quixote’s refusal to insult their guests’ hospitality by leaving prematurely, and Angelica is caught and separated from Toby. Toby becomes frantic as he searches for Angelica, and starts chasing a woman wearing her red dress - only when he reaches the bedroom at the top of the tower does Toby realise the woman he was chasing was Jacqui, a former flame who wished to trick Toby into making love to her. Toby is further tormented as he looks down from the bedroom to see Angelica strapped down to a pyre being set alight - now Toby, like Javier before him, is losing sight of reality. Instead of the cynical director, he is now the knight on a quest to save his love. This culminates with the end of the film, where Toby does indeed become the next Quixote, with Angelica as his squire (this was handled in a quite delightful fashion, with Angelica’s kiss being met with a saucy comment on how the relationship between Quixote and Pancha is about to take an interesting turn). The film ends with Toby/Quixote and Angelica riding off into the sunset. It’s an ending that makes no sense as a rational resolution to their story, but it feels perfectly natural in the context of the chivalric fantasy that the film ends as.

To focus on this is to focus on but a single thread of the film, but it is probably the thread I found most interesting. Quixote is rather problematic in terms of its depictions (particularly of its female and minority characters), and you never forget that you are watching a film framed solidly around a man’s experience. The dreams and fantasies that Quixote concerns itself with are very much those of men - the desire to be a hero, the desire to be a saviour, and the desire to be covered in glory. What is most interesting about this film, then, is how it interrogates these fantasies and explores what is required to fulfil them (the answer, in my view, is at least some degree of madness). 

The only clear message to emerge from this film is that Quixote himself is the truest model of nobility and courage - Toby only becomes more heroic as he edges closer to the qualities that characterise Quixote, but there is fascinating ambiguity in the ending. At the end, Toby himself seems lost, as Javier was lost before him, and almost every trace of the person he used to be has been wiped away. I think that, for Gilliam, this was perhaps the only way he could see of giving Toby a “happy” ending. The Toby who we see at the start of a film is a creature who existed on the surface of life, interested exclusively in making money and satisfying his sexual appetite. By the end, Toby is filled with earnest conviction and belief in the principles of chivalry - he bears almost no resemblance to the person he started out as (cheeky innuendo to Angelica aside), and the message to be taken from this is clearly deliberately elusive. Is Toby’s ending a victory for dreamers, with him saving his true love and riding off into the sunset? Or is it a statement on the impossibility of atoning for past mistakes in any realm besides the fantastic one? (For me, the jury is still out.)

The whole film is, in many ways, an allegory, and I think it might well be Gilliam’s testament as an artist. It’s not his most accomplished film and it’s lacking in several respects (particularly budgetary - you can tell this represents a compromised vision), but I can confidently say it’s one of his more interesting works and it’s quintessentially his. I think any person with artistic leanings could look at this film and see Toby and Quixote as the two different faces of creativity - Toby is the base reality that many creative people become reduced to, while Quixote is the pinnacle of shining sincerity and passion that many aspire to but few can attain. It’s a messy film with grand ambitions that it can’t quite live up to, but it’s absolutely fascinating and I sincerely hope I don’t need to wait another ten years to see it again.

(And to lower the tone for the end of this piece, Adam Driver is devastatingly attractive here - the kissing scenes are ridiculously sensual, and Adam rocks an off-the-shoulder cape like he was born to wear medieval high fashion. We also need more films where Adam is a romantic hero who rides about on horseback.)

[zebraslovescupcakestoo]

An entry journal of a normal kid.

(A Kingdom Hearts/SVTFOE/Harry Potter/ Epic Mickey/ BBTIM AU)

Entry of an earth kid, day 106.

Hello private journal. It's me again, Felix Lockheart.

Before I start writing in another crazy adventure I had that sounded that came straight out of a fantasy magical princess fiction, although in this this case, magical 'princes,' I wished to revised on the summary and reflect on these past few months since then.

Before my life took a twisted 'magical' turn, it was almost upside down. I was just a quiet, average teenager that is one year away to get my beginner’s licence for a 50cc scooter. I don't have many friends apart from acquaintances and my family consisted a chief policemen who's my father, a older single mother of a sister who's doing just fine and kids of her own that are twins, which are at the time, quite a hand full!

What I meant is that I was almost a lone wolf, awkward socialist. I was one of those type of teenage boys who tried to be cool yet I have that geeky side of me who's interested in detective novels from Sherlock to Poirot, and Nancy Drew to Case Closed. I have an unusual talent of finding the details that most people missed and sometimes... it makes me distant from people. No matter how hard I tried to be normal, the other kids were treating me as an outcast, without the 'bullying' part on most days.

I tried numerous times to have some shed of acceptance until that one faithful day that I met my two new friends.

Oswald and Mickey Disney.

It started almost three months ago, March the XX, I got called in the principal office during a history test, which I luckily finished before the announcement was made. I was a bit worried, I do wanted to be noticed among my peers but NOT as a delinquent.

Upon arriving at the principal office, my first impression is 'what are those two who's appearances look like they've just graduated from kindergarten here and what does it have to do with me?' and there was my father and the principal himself.

Long story short, I was 'elected' by the principal and the teachers to be their tour guide while my father, who's constantly very busy at work, had explained to me that we will be having these 'foreign exchange students' living in our home... and that 'I' was the one to take care of them... I was in complete shock, mentally disturbed and thought is my life going to get weirder than it is?

That would be one of my biggest asking mistake I would have ever made.

I told myself at the time, that this is nothing special and that it will pass. It all started when we, me and the two bizarre guys, had just finished showing around the halls and a couple empty classrooms.

I wanted to write here a couple of reminder notes about the two 'foreign kids' that turns out to be unique if anyone new.

The first one I want to talk about is Mickey Disney, the younger sibling. I would describe him as the up-beat, enthusiastic, sun shine, positive, semi-innocent, lovable little brother. He is a very popular, well-liked kid even in my world. (I will explain in a bit!) Although sometimes, he acts like he's younger than his age but it is without cruel intention.

The second one I needed to talk about is the elder sibling, Oswald Disney. Also known as 'the type of guy I wished to be but can't cause it ain't happening!' He is what I describe the 'dark mysterious prince' type. He's the calm and collected, down-to-earth guy and he's probably likes to get on my nerves from time to time just to tease me... He's what I'd like to called the blue power ranger type. He's probably fit in with the cool kids much better even with whatever he's wearing at the time.

Back to the first day flash back, it was in the cafeteria that sparked our first 'mishap adventures' of the day and so on.

I've just finished showing and explaining the function of the cafeteria and which seat to avoid due to the 'clique systems' that was still a tradition in this school. While it's true that the faculties had enforced anti-bullying and zero tolerance policy, some of the kids had found some loop holes and it was a bit sneaky from one stand point.

The two brother's asked why but before I had to explained, the lunch rush started and the popular kids were at the front of the line. Upon look at me, they were snickering, laughing and they must have thought that I finally 'belong' to a group... of weirdos.

Mickey then asked me why are they laughing and I lied to him that it was nothing. But Oswald on the other hand, told him the cold hard truth that they were laughing at us and that they were mean. That made his unusual, heart shaped, cheek marks glow in a deep red tone when he made an angry expression and he 'marched' towards the popular kids. I immediately tried my best to pull him back but he was very strong and didn't even flinch when I pulled him back. He's smaller than I am yet I'm older...

Upon sawing their 'new' younger student, they just raised an eyebrow before he asked why are they laughing at me. One of them just plainly yet made some sort of an mocking English tone like Mickey doesn't understand our language, just when he clearly said it flawlessly to them. That triggered him to cast some sort of spell from his hands and into the tomato sauce which cause the saucy food to transform into one of those slime looking monsters. It almost attack one of the now frighten kids until the other 'foreign' student, Oswald cast some other spell that caused the tomato sauce monster disperse into a big splattered  mess all over them and the cafeteria. He also cast another spell that makes them 'forget' on what just happened after Mickey ducked me down and then once he cast it, they quickly made the popular kids hold big spoon to look as if they were the ones who caused it before pulling me away from the scene. I remembered those 'star struck' dazed look when they had their memories erased while I was dragged out to the nearest empty classroom.

Just when the people outside of the classroom were all coming after the situation in the cafeteria, I almost blasted out until Oswald covered my mouth to keep quiet a bit longer while Mickey cast another spell that causes the room we're in to be 'inaccessible' for the normal people like me... THEN I started to freak out and demanded what the heck are they REALLY are.

That’s when Mickey revealed with a rainbow effect magic that they are magical princes from another dimension. I was still in a blank state of mind until Oswald snap his fingers to appear his Compact Communication and showed me a video message of their grandfather, who is the current king of the 'other dimension' they said they belong to.

I've already mentioned this at the beginning of this journal, but I will rewrite it in this part again for a better understanding.

It began with his introduction as the king of the place called Toonland. His name is King Yen Sid. He is currently the ruler of that world until he retired his crown to his son-in-law when he had his coronation after weeks marrying his daughter. Years passed and they have kids together which is Oswald and Mickey until one faithful day, there was the horrible Black Ink Disaster that invaded their kingdom, almost destroyed the whole kingdom with it's powers until their parents had to made a very difficult decision. They had to 'sealed' the black ink disaster in exchange of their lives...

I remembered that moment when I glanced behind Oswald's Compact Communication device, I can see Mickey's eyes filled with sadness and Oswald's painful expression upon the mention of their parents.

Since then, Yen Sid had to reclaim his position as king due to the fact that his grandsons were still too young at that time and they needed to complete their magical training before they can try for their Keyblade training at the age of sixteen. This was a needed requirement in their world in order to become the next king.

And here I was thinking that there's nothing more dangerous than my sister's first attempt in driving lessons. I was proven wrong again.

So upon the years they were growing up, they've developed in their separate ways their unique skills. If all worked well, both the brothers would be able to stand a winning chance against the black ink monster and freed their parents.

So just to keep it short, they decided to 'train' them with a compatible 'familiar,' which was needed for training, and among the counselors, Keyblade masters, sorcerers, yadda yadda yadda, they pin pointed- drum roll please....

Me. I was the only person in the whole 'dimensions' who can help them. BOTH of them.

Yeah, I know. Quite a load full to take in...

Looking back, it was quite a school year for me. Not only in my daylight hours, but also in my evenings and weekends.

Like my father had said, they moved in our home. I wondered if he ever asked any questions beyond their appearances, like how and why are they're here. Later I found out from Mickey who innocently said in a private conversation between us two that Yen Sid had 'convinced' him to take them in in my care... Guess the apple didn't fall off far from the family tree...

Since I was old enough to be left alone at nights, I was used to being on my own. I ordered take outs or cook my meals for one and then spend my time to do almost whatever I want due to the fact that I did mentioned that my father is a chief policemen. I also wanted to write a statement that just because my dad is a high ranking policemen, doesn't mean I can get away with anything and that I am responsible enough to take care of myself.

The only new problem was is that these two, at the time, weren't exactly the best roommates. When we first arrived at my house, Mickey was like a child who'd seen the outside world and visited his friend's house for the very first time. Oswald on the other hand, just stands there and examined every details from where I was standing. When he walked up to the door and reached the handle, it was locked. He kicked it down before I could get the chance to take out my house keys.

It was also the same time that I had to lay out the rules starting no kicking down locked door unless it was an emergency.

I've already written many of our early adventures from the beginning of this journal, but here were a few short stories to remind me:

Our founded 'neighbor's club' from day two with just us three.

The lecture of the Toonland history and reenactments of certain events.

Learned more about Mickey's life and Oswald's.

The second part of our tour guide to the gym and how we barely escaped the jocks for using dodge balls. By the Disney's magic again!

The library trip that ended up in a unicorn brawl.

Learned more on their life stories.

Learned about one of their adversaries, the ink minions and heartless, that travels from worlds to dimensions and 'attack' the normal people.

Help them with more complicated spells by being at their side.

Learned MORE about their lives....

And more stories goes on and on. I also wrote in this journal about the time our bonds grew deeper which I've already wrote it several times before...

Mickey have grown to be more responsible and well behaved since coming to my world. I knew in the beginning that he was thinking about his citizens, his family and that he loves them a lot. Especially to his big brother he said that he looks up to. He eventually learned to control his magic well and learned that he needs to think before he acts. Especially if he's willing to help others.

One story time, he told me that he wanted to grow vegetables even bigger to combat a famine crisis from one town over in his dimension. He did the spell successfully, but unknown to anyone, there was a praying mantis that got caught in his spell... Just to show he IS a nice guy, just sometimes things got off sided for him and that he didn't meant any harm.

Oswald also had grown in his personalty as well. At first, I thought he just needed to learn not to kick down doors. Boy, was I wrong! I will not lie, he was so bad with people that it made me more of an approachable person! I then learned more about him that he had lost a dear friend from an early age and he was almost over it until the 'Black Ink Disaster' happened that took their parents. It almost made him shut down completely if it wasn't for his grandfather and his little brother to come around, but it made him became more distant from people, including his own people.

I wouldn't be lying in this entry if I never understood why he would felt that way. If I'd lost someone who's dear and close to me, I'd be avoiding anyone just for not feeling the fear of losing someone again. Eventually, he learns to be more opened and kind to other people, after we had a conversation or two.

He was much more mature and on my level, but he was just as difficult to handle as much as his little brother sometimes.

Despite all of that, they manage to grew stronger in their magical abilities and in their character developments. I would almost considered them lucky to have those responsibilities from someone like me who's just an average kid that involves trying not to get into trouble and getting good grades. Which is another bundle of stories that I can always read back from previous entries.

The only problem is that their main threats, now including mine, were the Black Ink Minions and the Heartless that I've previously mentioned over and over again in here. Seems like these low level monsters are after the princes' lives, but unfortunately for them, they are NOT underestimated when it comes to combats.

Among training lessons stories that I wrote in this, I also wrote their battles, especially the big and special ones that stood out most.

At first they were mostly going after them. Over time, they became aware that I was a friend of them and from then on, I was their target too. Eventually, I did manage to learn self defense thanks to them, but I was still a bit short from the big leagues where they are since I don't have magical abilities.

After one high school year passed and one week before summer vacation starts, we had an unexpected visit from their grandfather and my old man who wanted to discus all three of us spending time together in their home country for the summer since we are such close friends and that I deserved a 'peaceful retreat.'

Which was understood in this world among the normal people who doesn't know the 'REAL' story...

When my father went to the kitchen to make a phone call arrangement for my passport, the king had cast the 'casing' spell just for all four of us to prevent future interruptions from the real time. Like it's frozen in time except for us.

Now the REAL reason on why us three needed back in Toonland is cause the princes were needed to aid the now immediate threat to all of us. Turns out there was two people who are commanding the Black Ink Minster's minions and then there was another one who commands the heartless. Despite their King's magical abilities and his best warriors at hand, they still needed help.

Thus came a big yet risky decision from the counsels and Keyblade masters alike that the princes will be required to learn the art of the Keyblade as soon as I finished my school days...

Just my black, cat luck! I spent most of my year in a school and I will be spending my summer vacation in another school. The only highlight is now it's my turn to take a breather since I'm their 'familiar' and I don't need to do much. Their subject studies and mines were very separate 'subjects' from each other, OK?

Then, fast forwards to my last day of school, I was relieved for a brief moment once the final bell rang. I sat at that desk a few more seconds while the rest of the kids bursts out of that door frame. It looks like a scene where the puppies were going all out at once, only this time the door was almost ripped off. I left second last kid from school so that I don't get run over from heels and wheels. When I arrived home, I was mentally prepared to face another three months in another school unknown to my family. What I DIDN'T expect is that the two brothers had already packed almost everything in my room in one of their own trunks that happens to be the same ones they've packed with when THEY arrived. (If I have a 'realistic' wish, I want those kinds of suitcases. It will help me move much better in the future!)

My family, included my sister and nephews at the time, wanted to wish me a safe and fun summer in their 'foreign' country before I left. Inky and Winky wanted to go with me, but my sister wanted to let me have my own time...

If only they knew them just as well as I do. They both had SUCH a hard time on understanding personal space in the first few days!

I have already wrote down there the method on how the heck did we traveled in another dimension, so just to keep it short recap, They ran THROUGH that brick wall in that naked part of a museum. I almost felt like one those stupid guys in JACK@&& that got caught in one of their pranks. The only saving grace from getting our face smashed in was their magic to open up the portal. We were then landed in the royal court of Toonlan's castle.

I was greeted by the whole kingdom. I'm talking about the commoners, royalties, merchants, aristocrats, you name it under one big castle!

...and my first interaction with them is that I arrived landing on my face on the red carpet. You know, THOSE first awkward impressions. Welp! I had worse...

Thankfully, they were in great cheers when they noticed that the princes arrived with me. So I guess that means that they were popular and very well liked. Unlike me who's aside a stranger in their land, I was an outcast as usual... even if I'm right in between them the entire reunion.

If ever I ask for a brother complex, these guys would be at the top of the list. Mickey was the center of attention without making a scene and everybody was attracted to him. Oswald on the other hand, I wanted to say he's more like 'playing it cool' and he's surrounded by the mature audiences and the 'cool kids' crowd... Even in this dimension, I would still be out of place. The only thing I did was standing near the appetizers that looks almost like a buffet for aliens... I'll skip the details of it to spare you from vomiting in this journal.

Suddenly Mickey rushed over to get me and dragged me to his circle of variety of friends. They seemed like they've been from a kid's cartoon characters with bright, colorful and positive attitudes. I also heard that Mickey will be enrolled in those Keyblade mastery classes in a day or two and that he's gonna be in the Hufflepuff Sorority in that school called Hogwarts. Sounds too familiar... I think I've read it in a book ages ago. Then Oswald came and asked them if he can 'borrow' me for a while too. Almost everyone's attitude changed except his little brother, like one of THE coolest older kid just walked in from their Pokemon trading card game. I way stared down by the 'cool kids' like in my world, but they didn't picked on me like they would. At least not yet. They seemed like they were fine with me and my awkwardness and  then got introduced by one of the teachers of the sororities. Oswald was accepted in the Ravenclaw Sorority... That got me worried when I realized one tiny problem.

If I'm both their familiar, how can I be at their sides if their houses host different classes from each other? I mean, I've haven't been in colleague yet and have zero idea of their life styles, especially here, but if they're in different houses, how can they practice without me being there? Even if they can do it on their own, they still need me for backup.

It was more than their spell boosts. One time when we fought off a blueberry jam glob monster that Mickey accidentally cast a multi-spell to make more blueberry jam cause we ran out  and it was big and it nearly ate him. I unconsciously grabbed a peanut butter jar and it was afraid of it. He lets go of Mickey and thankfully Oswald can in to save the day by casting an oblivion spell. (This spell is hard to master from what they said. Yikes!)

But my worries were then put to rest when I was told later by their grandfather that they'll be taught together and that we will not be separated. Also, most of the teachers will be visiting here instead of us coming over unless we came for a visit. Part of me was a bit relieved that I don't NEED to be in another prison cell like school, but at the same time, I wanted to see what it's like in there... I mean, one of them had a dragon at the party as a familiar for Pete’s sake! And it was only a few months old when I asked.

Anyways, I think I've sum it all up for now. We are indeed to start those training in a day or two. All of the things from my room is now set up by magic and that 'our' bed is a king sized one that can easily fit all three of us... I sometimes asked why can't we get a separate one. Then I was told is to 'bond' to my 'user' and that it eases them...

Sounds like it's an excuse for a 'too close for comfort' resort. Anyways, I will write in a new journal soon since this is my last entry here and I need more space to write.

I hope that in my next journal, I can write my adventures here in Toonland and discover more stories about the royal Disney family.

Singed: Felix Lockheart.

----Author’s Notes------

I hope that you like another one shot. I used multiple AU universes but it’s mostly on Star Vs The Forces Of Evil. I really LOVED the third and fourth season and that I wished that I would have watched the first two before that.

Now, I just wanted to say one thing before I forget, I did heard about the Harry potter series but I’ve been ‘banned’ to read/watched them when I was growing up. For separate reasons. I’ve only used the wiki fir house sororities references and a couple of movie clips for story purposes.

Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed a fun fanfic and I hope you have a fantastic day!

Kingdom Hearts, SVTFOE, Harry Potter, and Epic Mickey are under Disney.

BBTIM AU and Characters belongs to Marini4.

[bbclesmis]

Daily Mail: Sad, saucy and seductive, the Beeb’s non-Musical take on Les Mis is a hit

Gloomy French genius Victor Hugo’s grand masterpiece isn’t called Les Happychaps for a good reason.

Les Miserables (BBC1) opened with an aerial shot of the carnage after the Battle of Waterloo, as ravens pecked the flesh of corpses and the thief Thenardier (Adeel Akhtar) dodged about stealing purses and gold teeth.

Akhtar played it for laughs – and for the next hour, that blood-soaked battlefield was about as light-hearted as things got.

 Video playing bottom right...Click here to expand to full page  'You are the love of my life': Fantine and Felix cuddle in bed      

The classic novel, set in France 200 years ago, is sprawling in scope and bleak in outlook.

The characters are beaten, flogged, crushed by rockfalls, shot, ridden with diseases, betrayed, cheated, starved, deceived, hounded, robbed and deprived of everything they love.

No spoilers, but Les Mis doesn’t have an upbeat ending.

Yet for 30 years the stage version has been a global feelgood success – one that has wonderful music and lyrical moments to make the heart soar.

Nor was it unexpected that Lily Collins played lovestruck Fantine, above, in petticoats and faded dresses, looking every inch the impoverished Parisian seamstress – except for her eyebrows, which were bushy 21st century caterpillars

The challenge for the Beeb is to give us an incentive to watch this despairing six-part non-musical version, starring Dominic West as the ex-convict Jean Valjean.

David Oyelowo plays Valjean’s nemesis, Javert, who becomes obsessed with the jailbird after seeing him drop his trousers.

There’s nothing like a homoerotic subtext for saucing up a 19th century novel – and Andrew Davies, who adapted the book for TV, has plenty of form when it comes to injecting sex into the texts.

It was Davies in 1995 who imagined Colin Firth as Mr Darcy in Pride And Prejudice, wading out of a lake in clinging wet shirt and strides, thus turning Jane Austen’s prim comedy of manners into a steamy fantasy.

And it was Davies who, 20 years later, had the caddish Dolohov ravish naughty aristocratic Helene on the dining room table in War And Peace – a scene the original author Leo Tolstoy somehow forgot to write.

So when Javert summoned Valjean into his office to watch him undress, it was hardly a surprise.

Nor was it unexpected that Lily Collins played lovestruck Fantine in petticoats and faded dresses, looking every inch the impoverished Parisian seamstress – except for her eyebrows, which were bushy 21st century caterpillars.    

Les Mis is probably the best-known novel in all French literature, thanks to the epic West End musical that was turned into a Hollywood blockbuster in 2012

In a decade or so, we will be able to identify any costume drama from the twenty-teens, simply by looking at the luxuriant eyebrows.

Les Mis is probably the best-known novel in all French literature, thanks to the epic West End musical that was turned into a Hollywood blockbuster in 2012.

The stage show revolves around the stories of Valjean and Fantine, now familiar to millions – though fewer people realise that Herbert Kretzmer, who wrote the lyrics, was also the Daily Mail’s TV critic.

The Davies adaptation, stretching across six hours, has more time to let us get to know other characters from the book, such as Felix, the aristocratic playboy who seduces young Fantine and leaves her with a baby.

Johnny Flynn, who played Felix, was last seen as good old dependable Major Dobbin in Vanity Fair – to watch him casually ruin a girl seemed doubly shocking.

Kindly Bishop Myriel, who has only a few lines in the musical, was given a full run-out by Derek Jacobi.

He had time to develop the character into something more than a cardboard Christian, so that we believed in his innocent heart when he repaid Valjean for robbing him, by handing over his last two silver candlesticks as well.    

The challenge for the Beeb is to give us an incentive to watch this despairing six-part non-musical version, starring Dominic West as the ex-convict Jean Valjean

But though this is a more faithful reflection of Hugo’s vast imagination (Davies has crammed in more than 100 characters), what we really want to see is Valjean, Javert and Fantine.

In the film, they were played by Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe and Anne Hathaway, which is an unbeatable trinity of star names.

The Beeb is taking a much bigger risk. West is a television A-lister, but Lily Collins is still most famous for being the daughter of Genesis singer Phil – and Oyelowo, though a respected stage actor, is little known to British audiences.

All three were ready for some melodrama, and West in particular was rolling his eyes and gnashing his teeth like a silent movie pirate.    

Les Miserables (BBC1) opened with an aerial shot of the carnage after the Battle of Waterloo, as ravens pecked the flesh of corpses and the thief Thenardier (Adeel Akhtar) dodged about stealing purses and gold teeth

He was probably worried that, under an inch of make-up and a beard that had escaped from a ZZ Top video, we might not be able to see he was acting.

Without a cast of instantly recognisable faces, and with unfamiliar storylines woven around the well-worn central plot, the BBC is trusting us to put some work in.

If you flopped on to the sofa at 9pm with a bottle of beaujolais and a big grin, ready to hum along to I Dreamed A Dream, this was not the production you were expecting.

But after the saccharine excesses of the Christmas season, a bit of harsh austerity is just what we need. Think of Les Mis as an antidote to all that schmaltz, a detox for the telly muscles.

[abramsbooks]

RECIPE: Baked Rigatoni (from Matty Matheson: A Cookbook by Matty Matheson)

This is an incredible dish made straight from the heart. Crisp, burnt rigatoni edges; melted mozzarella cheese; rich, sweet tomato sauce; and little meatballs all nestled inside this beautiful mess. Dishes like this are low risk and high reward. Carol and Trish make different versions of this, and now I make my own too. How many renditions of this dish are out there, I have no idea: Every nonna or nonno or Italian American or Italian Canadian parent has his or her own version. Some may add basil leaves, dried oregano, more Parmesan, maybe even some Asiago, or all pork balls, all-beef, or a combination or the holy trinity: veal, pork, and beef. I want to make you my version, which is inspired by my mother-in-law and my lovely wife.

I had another mind-blowing experience the first time Carol made this for me. I thought pasta was powdered cheese and overcooked little noodles that were mixed with water instead of milk or cream, and not even a nice little knob of heavenly butter. But then I saw this bubbling, glowing, cheesy casserole coming out of the oven like a newborn rigatoni baby, and it was instant love. I knew I would fight for this dish if anyone ever disrespected it—I would stand behind it like an overprotective uncle who’s had one too many brown pops at a little league baseball game. I hope that when you pull this casserole out of the oven, it’s one of those moments like seeing the Sistine Chapel or the ocean for the first time.

Serves: 4 Prep time: 1½ hours

½ pound (225 g) ground pork

½ pound (225 g) ground veal

½ pound (225 g) ground beef

1 egg

1 cup (100 g) freshly grated Parmesan cheese

½ cup (50 g) dry bread crumbs

1 handful chopped flat-leaf parsley

Kosher salt

10 turns freshly cracked black pepper

1 tablespoon dried red chile flakes

2 tablespoons peeled and minced garlic

Olive oil

8 cups (2 L) Sunday Gravy (see below) without the meat

2 (16-ounce/455 g) boxes dried large rigatoni

2 balls mozzarella cheese, one cubed and one shredded

Place all the ground meat in a large bowl. Crack the egg on top and add the Parmesan, bread crumbs, parsley, 2 teaspoons salt, the pepper, chile flakes, garlic, 4 tablespoons (60 ml) oil, and 2 tablespoons water. Mix with your hands—make sure to dig deep with your fingers and use your shoulders to really work the mixture.

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Place two spoons in a cup of water; use one spoon for scooping and the other for scraping off. Make sure to dip your spoons into the water every other scoop. Scoop 1 tablespoon meat and scrape it onto the baking sheet; make little rows until done. Lightly coat your hands with oil and form the meat piles into perfect little balls.

Preheat the oven to 400°F (205°C). In a Dutch oven, pour ½ inch (12 mm) of oil and set over medium-high heat. Place the balls in the pot, but don’t overcrowd the pot. Brown the meatballs in batches and place on a rack while you build your casserole.

We are going to build the casserole hot so it just has to brown in the oven. In a small pot, heat the gravy. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil; cook the pasta until al dente. Check the pasta every few minutes to make sure you’re not overcooking. Because we are baking in the oven, we don’t want mushy noodles! We want perfect rigatoni.

Drain the pasta and pour most of it into a 9 by 13-inch (23 by 33 cm) baking dish, then add enough sauce to cover the noodles and stir. You don’t want the casserole soupy and you don’t want it dry; you can always add, but you can never take away. That’s why I like building this by eye once all the ingredients are ready: You can add more sauce, meatballs, and rigatoni depending on your tastes. Stir the cubed mozzarella into the casserole, then add as many meatballs as you want. Stir to evenly disperse everything, then cover with a few ladles of sauce and the shredded mozzarella. Bake 20 minutes, or until the edges are almost burnt, the cheese is golden brown, and the sauce is bubbling. Remove from the oven and let rest 10 minutes.

RECIPE: Sunday Gravy

This is something I loved eating when I first started dating Trish. Her mother is Italian Canadian and comes from a long line of amazing cooks from Calabria. I never had real Italian food until I met Trish. Maybe that’s why I was so in love with her initially. It was her mother’s cooking! I remember the first time I was allowed to help make this meal. Her mother watched me like a hawk soaring in the bright blue sky, searching for trout. If I did something wrong, she let me know right away with a slap on the hand. If I overworked the meatballs, she would make a comment that cut deep. This was before I went to cooking school—I was just an eager kid looking for the secrets to this dish. A red sauce is the foundation of every Italian family, and it was a privilege to help. I had a duty to make the best meatballs I could so I didn’t let down Carol and Bill and the Spencer family. Making this sauce is like painting: You need to know when to stop. It’s a powerful sauce that still needs restraint.

I used to think that spaghetti sauce had green peppers and mushrooms in it. It took me a long time to understand the power in simplicity. This sauce is the cornerstone to most of the dishes in this section; once you’ve made this sauce, you can add it to so many dishes. When I make it, I like to take out all the meat and divide the balls, ribs, and sausage in containers and cover with just enough sauce. Then you can take as many of these little gems as you want and reheat for days to come, or you can make little bundles of meat and sauce and freeze for a special day. Serving the meat on a massive platter and then tossing fresh spaghetti in the sauce and topping with fresh grated Parmesan is the way to go!

Serves: A large Italian-Irish family and one white kid from the maritimes Prep time: 5½ hours

1 loaf day-old bread, torn into small pieces

1 cup (240 ml) milk

1 pound (455 g) ground beef

1 pound (455 g) ground veal

1 pound (455 g) ground pork

2 cups (200 g) freshly grated Parmesan cheese

1 cup (100 g) freshly grated Pecorino-Romano cheese

½ cup (70 g) peeled and minced garlic, plus 1 cup (145 g) whole garlic cloves, peeled and sliced thin

1 handful chopped flat-leaf parsley

1 cup (100 g) dry bread crumbs

4 eggs

2 tablespoons dried red chile flakes

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Olive oil

2 pounds (910 g) Italian sausage

2 racks (2 pounds/910 g) pork ribs

½ cup (15 g) tomato paste

6 (28-ounce/794 g) cans tomato puree

1 pound (455 g) any shape pasta

Grated Parmesan cheese, for serving

Line a baking sheet with lightly oiled parchment paper.

Soak the day-old bread with just enough milk. You don’t want soupy bread; you want milky bread.

In a large bowl, place all the ground meat and mix with your hands so it’s incorporated. Next, add the cheeses, minced garlic, parsley, bread crumbs, eggs, chile flakes, milk-soaked bread, salt, and pepper. This is the fun part: Deep-dive your hands into the meatball mixture, and with your fingertips, disperse all the ingredients evenly, using your full arm to reach down to the middle and flip the mixture. Imagine you are a human bread mixer. Keep pushing down and knead it almost like a dough. Once it is truly mixed, you’ll know—it will look like a piece of beautiful meat marble, with the cheese, parsley, and garlic all glistening through like rock layers.

With lightly oiled hands, roll the meat mixture into perfect 2-inch (5 cm) balls, making sure they are worked just enough. Do not squish the balls—just keep rolling so they stick together. Place on the prepared baking sheet. Drape a kitchen towel over the balls as you roll so they don’t air-dry at all.

In a large heavy pot, pour ½ inch (12 mm) of oil and set over medium heat. Sear the meatballs on all sides. As each ball is fully browned, remove and place on another baking sheet until needed. In the same pot, sear the sausages, about 8 minutes. Set aside.

Cut the ribs into 2-bone pieces and season with salt and pepper; sear them, about 5 minutes per side. You will find that there is a lot of crisp golden meat on the bottom of the pot. This is called fond. This is the gold.

Turn down the heat to low—there is enough residual heat to get the garlic cooking. Add the sliced garlic to the pot and cook until golden brown. Then add the tomato paste; cook 5 minutes to cook out the tin flavor and develop the rich, deep flavor tomato paste is made for.

Add all the meat and the tomato puree. If it’s a little thick you can add just enough water to make it easier for you to stir the meat. You don’t want it too thick right now, as it’s going to cook at least 3 hours, and as it cooks, it will concentrate. We will cook it to the consistency we desire.

Don’t turn the heat to high to bring it to a boil. We have to bring it up slowly to make sure nothing burns. It may take almost an hour to start bubbling and simmering the way we want it to. Once it starts simmering, turn down the heat even lower. Stir the pot gently, making sure not to break up the meatballs. Cook 3 hours.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook the pasta as the label directs; drain and return to the pot. Ladle in enough sauce to coat the noodles—you don’t want this to be saucy. Place the pasta on a platter, then ladle extra sauce into another bowl for those who want more sauce. Remove the meat and place on top of the pasta; add more sauce. Top with cheese.

Matty Matheson, star of Viceland’s It’s Suppertime and Dead Set On Life, reveals his favorite recipes and stories in a cookbook that his devoted fans have been waiting for.

Matty Matheson is known as much for his amazing food as his love for life, positive mental attitude, and epic Instagram account. This debut cookbook is about Matty’s memories of the foods that have defined who he is. With a drive to share his zest for life, he creates dishes within these pages that reinterpret the flavors of his youth in Canada, as well as the restaurant fare for which he has become so well-known. Interpretations of classics like Seafood Chowder, Scumbo: Dad’s Gumbo, and Rappie Pie appear alongside restaurant recipes like Bavette, Pigtail Tacos, and his infamous P&L Burger. This is a very personal cookbook, full of essays and headnotes that share Matty’s life—from growing up in Fort Erie, exploring the wonders of Prince Edward Island, struggling and learning as a young chef in Toronto, and, eventually, his rise to popularity as one of the world’s most recognizable food personalities. His no-nonsense approach to food makes these recipes practical enough for all, while his creativity will entice seasoned cooks. This book is like cooking alongside Matty, sharing stories that are equal parts heartwarming and inappropriate while helping you cook dishes that are full of love. Matty Matheson: A Cookbook is a new collection of recipes from one of today’s most beloved chefs.

For more information, click here.

[bole-and-arrow]

“This is as far as we can go.” said Reonora. “Is there any part of this room that catches your eye?”

Falerin wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, his eyes nervously darting around the dimly lit cavern in front of them. The voices were still whispering in his head, only now they had an almost resonant quality to them, like someone running their finger across the rim of a crystal glass.

Crystal… There were clumps of purplish crystals everywhere. Some as thin as his smallest finger, some as thick as a Twelveswood tree trunk. What made a soul crystal different from any other crystal anyway? It occurred to him that he’d never actually seen one.  Perhaps he should have asked Reo to show him hers… Could any of these be a soul crystal? What if his soul crystal was bigger than he was?

He realized then that he was stalling. Reo was looking at him expectantly, but he hadn’t so much as moved a single step since they discovered the room.

“Sorry, I guess I’m still a little scared of this place.” he said, unnerved by the sudden silence. “The last time I was here, we didn’t get this far…”

His thoughts started to wander to Al and Sunn and Moki and that awful day when his life went to shit, but as he tried to remember, his mind was… hazy. The voices cut through his concentration like the timber master’s handsaw, and the faces of those he tried to remember seemed to swirl into a shimmering river. A river that flowed out of his mind and towards… there?

His feet didn’t feel as if they were touching the ground as he moved towards furthest wall of the room. In the smoky-dim light shed by the crystals was a single pinprick of light that shone as brightly as a tiny star, and it grew brighter with every step he took.  He realized with some trepidation that it was coming from the inside of one of the most massive crystals he had ever seen. He approached it with a sense of reverence he rarely felt for anything.

Do you know something I don‘t?

As Falerin approached the crystal, its surface seemed to grow clearer, like clouds parting after a sudden shower. The pinprick of light within it grew larger, revealing a roughly hewn jewel shaped like a jagged teardrop, the color of brand new spring leaves. It was embedded there, in the crystal.

Have you always been here?  Just waiting…?

The voices within did not answer.  But the closer he got, the clearer and more resonant they became. He still could not understand them, but they were filling him with an overwhelming desire to reach the gem. It was like he was being held in the thrall of a siren.

His hand shook as he reached toward the stone.   Surprisingly, the solid surface of the crystal did not stop his hand’s advance, and instead just rippled like water around it.

I am the mirror of thy heart...

As Falerin’s hand closed around the stone, the voices came to a glorious crescendo, and he realized finally what they were singing. Every love song, every epic poem, every piece of saucy sailor graffiti and line of the Twelves’ holy litany… All at once.  A cacophony of language both old and new, both sacred and profane, somehow transformed into a harmonious whole.  A Bard’s gift… the gift of moments, people, places, things, encased in stories like flies in amber. Preserved time. Crystallized memory.

When he came to his senses, he was slumped against a wall, staring into the very concerned face of Reonora.

“Reo! You… I…”

His eyes darted to his right hand, which was clenched around something so tightly that his fingers were numb. Dirty leather creaked as he relaxed his grip.  There, in his tired and trembling hand, was the same stone he had seen inside the crystal. Decidedly less shiny but very, very real. Words escaped him, and at instead he settled for an exultation of extraordinary sound that was as exuberant as spring birdsong and as expansive as the howls of wolves in winter.

“She was right!  Rem was right!  YOU were right! THANK YOU!!“ Falerin threw his arms around Reo and hugged her tighter than he had ever hugged anyone.

[killian-whump]

OUAT 2x06: Rewatch Blog

Heeey everybody! Welcome to my rewatch liveblog of episode 2x06, “Tallahassee”. This one’s about the capital of Florida, which is called ‘The Sunshine State’ because there’s a lot of sunshine there when alligators aren’t eating you and/or meth addicts aren’t eating your face off.

Wait, what? Oh, my research team has just informed me that this episode isn’t actually about Florida at all - it’s about beanstalk adventures and flashbacks to Emma’s history with Neal. So no alligators most likely. Okay.

Well, let’s get started!

Well, this is off to a great start already! Every episode should start with Killian Jones tied up in some way, shape, or form. Nice!

“Freakier than I remembered from the story.” YOU AIN’T KIDDING.

“Reminds me of death.” Whoa, now that’s a little melodramatic.

Awww, lookit his face D: “Please untie me missus” *flails at him*

Mmm... Angry untying. That’s nice. The leather’s back. Saucy Hook, yay. “Don’t be afraid to, you know, really get into it.” Haha, he’s so cute <3

I HAVE SUCH A BONE TO PICK AND I’M GONNA PICK IT RIGHT NOW.

Flashback Emma’s glasses really bug me. Like, we see NO sign of poor eyesight in any of the young Emma flashbacks, and no signs of poor vision in present day Emma. It’s like she developed poor eyesight for an isolated year or two in her late teens and it just... cleared up?

Oh, I know, I know, she could’ve switched to contacts. Right. However, we see no evidence of that, either. No glasses in the morning or late at night. No issues with spending an extended time in the Enchanted Forest without access to either glasses or proper contact lens care. No vision impairment on Princess Emma in S6 who wouldn’t have access to glasses OR contacts, etc, etc.

So maybe Lasik surgery? Okay, but how would she have access to an expensive medical procedure that insurance didn’t cover (assuming she even HAD insurance, which, given her age and financial situation, is doubtful)?

It’s like the writers gave her glasses as a cute little character quirk in this awkward “ugly duckling” stage of her life without having any idea how glasses and bad vision actually work. Which would be ridiculous, considering Adam and Eddy both fucking wear glasses.

...and then they went and did it again with Robin in S7. No glasses on her primary persona, but her cursed persona needs them to see. And after the curse is broken... she still apparently needs them. WTF, show?!

Okay, but that outfit is super cute, glasses and all.

Yellow Bug origin story, guys! Is there a ship name for Emma and her car? Like, SwanBug or something? There should be if there isn’t. It’s so pure <3

Hahaha, Neal, you little shit. That grin of his is kinda cute.

~ TITLE CAAAAAAAAAARD!!! ~

Not sure why antis pick on that line of Neal’s about women. I mean, I’m not a huge fan of his, but it’s pretty obvious he’s reading the cop and (correctly) guessing on how to play him to get him to let them off. And Emma even calls him on it immediately - and he basically implies that’s exactly what he was doing. Antis don’t make any sense sometimes.

Okay, not as cute now... kinda smarmy. (Hi Ashley!)

Aaaaaaaaaaaand back to the beanstalk!

Oh, they kinda are getting really into it, aren’t they? Haha.

You know, I find it really hard to believe that Killian Jones would ever use the phrase “Tick, Tock” in casual speech. I’m just saying.

“I was hoping it’d be you.” :D

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ “Don’t think I’m taking my eyes off you for a second.”

“I would despair if you did.” ∩(︶▽︶)∩

One of my favorite Captain Swan moments riiiiight here:

HOLD MY PURSE, BITCH

And he follows after her like an eager puppy. Total subbie.

DRAMATIC MUUUUUSIC!

*sips beverage* Still climbing, huh? Seriously, though. Did they climb that far without talking at all? Or did Hook just chatter endlessly the whole time? Somebody better have written a fic of him babbling at her for hours.

“I love a challenge!” Hee hee! <3

“That’s not perception, that’s eavesdropping.” And he doesn’t deny it, lol.

“No, I’ve never been in love.” Okay, but she’s obviously lying. That’s a terribly transparent lie, Emma. You can do better.

The sniffing face, heehee.

That’s a pretty good ruse, though. I mean, really. People just sort of trust expectant parents. Although I’m sure it worked better 10 years ago than it would today.

Imagine if she’d pointed higher up. “Our future awaits us in... Detroit.” “Umm, lemme point again.” “No, no, that first point was legally binding.”

“I don’t really... sleep now.” Oh, sure. That’s normal.

This scene’s kinda boring :/

♫ Welcome to the laaaaaaaaaand of CGI and Giiiiiiiiiiiants ♫

“What happened here?” I mean, he kinda told you earlier in the episode.

“Giants can smell blood... and I’m always a gentleman.” <3

The cheerful way he says, “It’s rum!” XD

...and now my entire female reproductive system has died. That is the seventh time this month, dammit. This man is a menace.

Milah angst. Someone hold me T_T

I kinda don’t care about Neal’s problems.

I like this shade of lipstick on Emma, though. Okay, actually, I just like that shade of lipstick. Fun KW fact: Whenever I’m out and buy a new shade of lipstick, when I get home, I always discover it’s the same as all the other shades of lipstick I’ve bought, thinking they were different and so pretty. They’re all this color.

Colin sounds weird when he says, “You ready?”

You swing that bone, big guy! The things this show had him do XD

...It’s Jorge!!! :D Hi Jorge!!! :D I love him! I loved him on Lost, too. He’s just got such a lovely smile. He not smilin’ now, tho. Looks kinda grumpy.

“You big git!” Hahaha, that’s the best he’s got, apparently XD “You wanna kill a human, eh? You wanna kill a human?” The way Colin says “human” here makes me laugh for some reason, and he does it twice XD “Come on!”

“Come on then! Come on then!” I wonder if Colin’s flashing back to that role he played as a football hooligan in Love Is the Drug XD

Him popping up. This scene is so silly and ridiculous. I confess, it’s not one of my favorites, because it kinda borders on cringey in it’s ridiculousness, but it’s also unintentionally hilarious, so...

She’s so relieved <3

This is a good scene. I don’t have much to say about it, but it’s a good scene. Laying the groundwork for the big reveal of Henry being in the room. Ooooh. Also, I love Snow looking after Aurora.

And Aurora’s tiara or hair decorations or... whatever that is... is so pretty.

“What’s your rush?” Hahaha, you adorable idiot. “How long do you think magic knock out powder lasts?” “I’ve no clue,” as he sniffs coins like a derelict. “That’s my rush.” Like, why does she even have to explain this to him? XD

“Everything we need is right in front of us!” Everyone always turns this into some kind of big CS line, but I always thought it just... triggered a memory for Emma, hence the segue into the next flashback. They weren’t even really facing each other when he said it, so I don’t think it was intended to be foreshadowing. Just my opinion, though. Not legally binding :P

Nice sword, Jack. Not pompous at all.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Epic scene alert. “That’s a plausible excuse for grabbing me, but next time, don’t stand on ceremony.” Yooou fucking idiot <3

EAR SCRATCH *jumps on him* *rides him home*

Yeah, I know. All the liveblogs are gonna be like this. I’m so sorry.

Emma, too, is wondering what she’s gotten herself into. “Oh no. He’s sexy and absolutely ridiculous all at once. I am so fucked.” I think this was the moment she realized she liked him. That fucking menace.

Ugh. This train is just speeding towards derailment D: I hate storylines like this, when you just know the shoe’s gonna drop and-

Uh huh. Here’s August now, dropping shoes all over the place.

That drove me nuts the first time, not knowing what was in the fucking box.

And why did she have to go to jail? Like, dump her, leave her alone, fine, but sending her to jail is a bit... extra, isn’t it?

Ah, she’s so broken :( Alexa, play Despacito.

“Try something new, darling. It’s called trust.”

WHUMP! It’s whump!!! Buried in Rock Rubble Whump!!! :D

She’s even more panicked this time. Nice.

Jorge is mad.

Hahaha, I can’t stop seeing Jen in the green donut, though.

This scene is all pretty great, really. I forgot I was liveblogging.

Sweet, summer child. You’re so enamored with Emma and the compass and... Aw, geez. This is why Colin’s a menace. It doesn’t matter who he’s playing or what you think of them. He puts these faces on and tugs your heartstrings and suddenly you’re like, “Oh, look at this sweet, sincere little nugget!”

And then this happens...

It’s whump! BUT WHY DOES IT HURT MY SOUL D:

And then his voice shakes a little. “What are you doing?”

“Emma... Look at me. Have I told you a lie?” D:

“Why do this to me now?”

“You’re just gonna leave me here to die? Let that beast eat me, to crush my bones?” T_T

“SWAAAAN!!!!” He’s so fucking scared D: I died.

Hahahaha, SNOW WHITE WITH THE TACKLE.

I love how Aurora’s the only one who asks about Hook XD

Congratulations. You get a car. And a baby. When you get out of jail.

THIS IS THE WORST GAME SHOW EVER.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN BIG REVEAL!!!

...and the end! PEW PEW PEW!!! <3

[eternalsterekrecs]

Hi, I was hoping you could help me find any fic that were regency/historical aus with Stiles as a lower class than Derek. The more misunderstandings and angst the better. Thanks!

HISTORICAL/ROYALTY AU WHERE STILES IS LOWER CLASS

You’ll See Me Again by matildajones

Stiles is standing there in his uniform, hair long and hands behind his back. There’s a blush on his cheeks and he can barely look Derek in the eye.

“Hey,” he whispers. He’s wearing the medal Derek had presented to him.

Derek stares. He doesn’t think he’s breathing anymore.

--

Stiles is the soldier who saved Derek and brought him back home. He doesn't seem to care that Derek's a prince or that he's a little bit broken. Derek falls, quick and sure, but it's not easy knowing that Stiles will soon have to return to the war.

Worlds Apart by siny

Derek Hale, Heir Prince of Betonia and Italy, meets Stiles Stilinski, college boy.

Paint My Spirit Gold by Red_City

There was a gift.

There was a curse.

There is a power in the house of Hale, given to the firstborn son of every generation - the ability to turn everything he touches to gold. Though the original intent of the power was thought of as a gift, in reality, it is a dreaded curse that causes the bearer a life of fear, isolation, and danger.

Thus, Prince Derek is born.

remember my love by bleep0bleep

Stiles wakes up and suddenly the war is over, he's no longer a penniless mage, and living in an exquisite manor married to the man he's been in love with for far too long.

“It’ll be fine,” Stiles says gallantly. “I am certain I will just fall in love with my husband all over again, and I will find plenty of joy doing that.” He winks at Derek for good measure.Derek blinks.

Thank You For This Dance by matildajones

Derek picks up another glass of champagne, and that’s when he sees him. A man stands at the edge of the room, chewing his lip and staring at the dance floor longingly. Every person walks past him. Derek must have done it a hundred times this evening. --Derek is not one for dancing, but at a ball he meets Stiles, an orphan, and he becomes quickly attached. He does not care what other people think about Stiles' wealth and status, but it's a lot harder for Stiles to ignore the comments that have haunted him his whole life.

It's even harder to convince Stiles that Derek's feelings are genuine.

The Rapture in the Dark Puts Me at Ease by secondstar

Derek Hale returns home from war to find that the home he knew and the family he had are gone. Greed, poverty and cruelty have replaced his idyllic memories. Despite the new harshness of Beacon Hills, Derek refuses to believe that all hope is lost. And it seems he is not alone as the mysterious Night Watchman deliver hope to the people of Beacon Hills by giving food and money to those who need it most.

The Night Watchman will not tolerate this injustice. Will Derek?

Scowls and Sarcasm by dr_girlfriend

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single alpha in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a mate.

Whether or not Derek Hale felt that way was hardly a concern to the neighborhood — the very fact of his arrival was enough that the surrounding families seemed to consider him the rightful property of one or another of their eligible sons and daughters. That was, of course, before they met the man.

Here Comes the Sun by ajeepandleather

He has never been known to sit still very well. Apparently that also extended into jobs, because Stiles Stilinski cannot settle on a job even if his life were depending on it. Maybe that will change when he becomes house master to the infamous Hale manor.

Burning Glances (Turning Heads) by Yiichi

Stiles is a lower-class tailor, who has always dreamed of attending the fabled, annual Hale ball. His good friend, Lord McCall, somehow managed to procure an extra invite.

Stiles doesn't expect anything of the evening. He certainly doesn't expect to capture the gaze of a dark, mysterious stranger wearing a wolf mask.

Cinder-Boy and the Nightmare Prince by Saucery

The epic love story of Stileserella and his mysterious, rather creepy prince.

Day for Night by andavs

Stiles could honestly say he’d thought that fitting through the drain pipe would be the hard part.

When he’d formulated his escape from Beacon Hills' inescapable dungeon, the biggest obstacle in his mind had been the drain pipe. Of course it was. He was going to squeeze his perfectly average sized body through a small hole in the floor that hopefully led to the sewers unobstructed and didn’t have any sharp turns for him to get wedged in.

To put his horrible plan in context: he was less than an hour away from being publicly executed for theft. Desperation did funny things to critical thinking.

All that once was, remains. by countrygirlsfun

Life is only a long list of constants.

Being a part of a royal family, being a prince, has been a constant in Derek Hale’s life since he was born and swaddled in silk cloths.

Wherein Derek finds himself in love with a stable boy who is more than he seems.

The One With The Scottish Wolf Lord by Stoney

I just... okay, there was a ridiculous bodice ripper cover with "SCOTTISH WOLF LORD" and I went from there. THE PREMISE IS CRACKY BUT THE STORY IS NOT. *crosses heart*

The Hales are alive and a royal family in Scotland; Stiles is the waif sent to work in the kitchens, elevated to personal attendant/servant to the young Lord Hale. Who happens to be a wolf who can't shift back. (Not without finding... *spoiler*)

(I just really love romances, can't stop won't stop.)

The Wrong Hale by Dexterous_Sinistrous

“I apologize,” Stiles started.

“You apologize often,” Derek commented.

“It's expected,” Stiles explained. “But I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I haven't seen … I haven't seen much in life.” His heart was beating fast with excitement.

“And you're here to see much?” Derek softly asked, curious why such a perfect creature would be hiding away when a ball carried on elsewhere.

“I'm here to meet someone,” Stiles replied.

~*~

In which, Stiles and Derek find themselves in a star-crossed predicament.

As the river flows into the delta by ElisAttack

Stiles never planned on squiring for a laird, but he figures fate has a funny way of doing things.

Or the one where Derek is a kind-hearted Scottish laird, and Stiles is his saucy squire.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Can I please have a list of Christmas fics? Please please please?? Thank you so much! (I love your blog!)

NONNY!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED YOU ASKED ME THIS.

I HAVE BEEN PREPPING SINCE NOVEMBER, because I KNEW this question would come eventually!!!!!!!

SO I ALREADY HAVE THIS LIST MOSTLY DONE, I just had to add the recent ones I’ve read!!! :D

So here you are Nonny! Plus, I’ve added a few I’ve come across that I haven’t read yet and put on my MFL list this month. Those will be at the end :P

CHRISTMAS JOHNLOCK FICS (DEC. 2017)

Undeterred by 221b_hound (T, 221 w. || 221B Ficlet, Christmas, Mistletoe, Kisses) – Sherlock does not approve of this mistletoe nonsense. Though he will make exceptions. Part 6 of The Million Word Festival // Part 42 of Unkissed

Jumper by bofurs_laugh (G, 520 w. || Friendship, Pre-Slash, Christmas) – John wakes to find something he never thought possible. Part 4 of Sherlock Advent Series

Christmas With Sherlock by grannysknitting (K, 830 w. || Friendship & Family, Christmas) – John spends Christmas with Sherlock. Mrs Hudson gets a pressie.

You Can Imagine The Christmas Dinners by johnsarmylady (T, 1K+ w. || Friendship, Family, Introspection, Fluff, Post-ASIP) – Set the morning after a Study in Pink, John sits and contemplates Mycroft’s words. In answer to a challenge set by Librarianmum, and dedicated to that talented lady.

A Christmas Holiday by consultinggalpals (sansa_undergrind) (G, 1,076 w. || Tooth Rotting Fluff, Christmas, Honeymoon) – “Come on, Sherlock. Just take the picture already.”

Upon Reflection, Tenable Frippery by emmagrant01 (T, 1,299 w. || John’s Beard, First Kiss, Fluff) – John was, inexplicably, growing a beard.

Yet What I Can, I Give Him by a_big_apple (G, 1,391 w || Fluff, Kisses) – This Christmas is much improved over the last–mostly because Sherlock isn’t dead–but it isn’t so simple for John to recover from his grief, and he finds comfort in likely and unlikely places.

Christmas by thegirlinthedeathfrisbee (G, 1,768 w. || Mistletoe, First Kiss, Fluff) – John goes home for Christmas–to the Holmes home, that is.

Wintery Hell by Belldere (K+, 2K+ w. || Friendship & Humour, Christmas) – With Sherlock being roped into spending Christmas with his family, John had his own Christmas all planned out with his other friends and family… That is until he’s extended a forceful invitation from Mycroft and an assumption from Sherlock who, once again, failed to notice John wasn’t in the room when he ‘asked’.

Unmapped by 221b_hound (E, 2,835 w. || Christmas Fluff, Kissing, Experiments, Kisses, Saucy Kisses) – Sherlock wishes to explore more about his desires. To this end, he conducts a kissing experiment in the afternoon of Christmas Day. John is all for experiments of this nature. They are going to learn a thing or two together. Part 9 of Unkissed

The Trial of Sherlock Holmes by jenna221b (G, 3,015 across 3 works || TAB!lock, Metafic / TJLC, Victorian AU / 1895, Christmas, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Oscar Wilde) – Scripts based on speculation that Sherlock will be put on trial in The Abominable Bride to parallel the Oscar Wilde Trials of 1895.

Twas The Night by xox-hattii-xox (K+, 3K+ w. || Humour & Friendship, Christmas, Domestics, Fluff) – Twas the night before Christmas…and Sherlock has had just about enough of the whole thing! ‘Really, John, a Santa Hat’ Christmas in 221b, and Sherlock just wants it over with.

Unwrapped by 221b_hound (E, 3,022 w. || Christmas, Fluff, Oral Sex, Feet and Toes, Tow Fetish, Pet Names, Licking) – It’s Christmas morning. John doesn’t really want the Christmas Sex that Sherlock proposes and explains the reasons why. Sherlock discovers a new element of how his desire functions, and later John gets to indulge his foot fetish. Part 8 of Unkissed

Entanglement by orphan_account (G, 3,218 w., Ao3 || Pining, Confessions) - On Christmas Eve, snow covers London, John visits Harry, and Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson untangle some knots.

First Night Out by verityburns (M, 3,251 w. || Romance, Christmas, Dev. Rel.) – As John recovers from the effects of a brutal kidnapping, he and Sherlock attend the Yarders’ Christmas Party. There are… developments on the dance floor…

It Wasn’t Just the Mistletoe by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 3,593 w. || Christmas Fluff, Mistletoe, First Kiss / Time, Frottage, Masturbation) – Sherlock and John just stood there, seemingly frozen. Sherlock was desperately trying to think of a way out of this. There was no way he could kiss John, even a small kiss, and not have him know immediately how he felt. Sherlock could lie, and fake and sham, but there was no way he could hide this.

Last Christmas by Mazarin221b (T, 3,911w.|| Fluff, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss) – That Earth-shaking revelation, then, leads to a problem, and one that Sherlock realizes should be solved quickly, before John’s dates turn into girlfriends or boyfriends, because sometimes girlfriends or boyfriends can turn into wives or husbands while your back is turned. Every time John hums happily at the mirror as he shaves, splashes on a little gift cologne Mrs. Hudson bought him for Christmas, Sherlock is drawn back to that night by the fire, and the way John’s touch had made the world stand still.

Christmas at Holmes Cottage by johnlockedstarkid (G, 4,295 w. || Christmas, Fake Relationship, Love Confessions, Holmes Family, Pining, Kisses, Fluff, Allusions to Mystrade) – Sherlock doesn’t want to have to deal with his mother’s wishes for him to find a partner when he goes to visit them for Christmas, so asks John to pose as his boyfriend. Little does he know he’s not the only one who wishes that the relationship could be real.

Memories Lost on Christmas Day by agnesanutter, PlainJane (G, 4,479 w. || Fluff, Hospitals, Worried Sherlock) – It’s the day before Christmas and Sherlock and John are exactly where they need to be….

Happy Christmas, You Arse by 1electricpirate (T, 4,766 w. || Post-TRF, Fluff, Christmas Fic) – In which evidence is presented that disqualifies Sherlock from being the Grinch, and everyone’s shoes fit them perfectly well, thank you.

Winter of Life by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 5,178 w. || Christmas, Fluff & Angst, Magic Realism) – It was an experiment, really. On Christmas, Sherlock wrote to Santa asking for a friend. He got a broken toy soldier instead. This is the story of how he finds him again and again.

Same Same But Different by Kerkerian-Horizon (K+,6K+ w. || Friendship & Angst) – After Sherlock’s return, a lot of things have changed, things the detective has to learn to contend with- or rather, to accept. A sometime-post-Reichenbach story in two parts, no male pairing. Contains Mary, the puppy Gladstone and Christmas as well.

Surprise Christmas by Ayakae (K, 6K+ w. || Friendship, Sherlock in Disguise, TRF Hiatus, Christmas, Fluff, Mary) – A year and a half after his death, Sherlock tries to give John Watson a happy Christmas without actually revealing himself. The consulting detective thinks his newfound friend can help. Epic friendship.

Maybe This Christmas by feverishsea (T, 6,021 w. || Christmas, Getting Together, Matchmaker Anthea, Anthea POV, Slight Mystrade, Holmes Family) – Anthea has given up her life, her own desires, even her name in service of something greater than herself. But that doesn’t mean she can’t see when someone else wants something – even if she doesn’t happen to care overmuch for that person. And it doesn’t mean she isn’t willing to help.

once upon a time by darcylindbergh (M, 6,501 w. || Fluff and Angst, First Kiss / Time, Love Declarations, Christmas) – It starts with a wish. In the beginning, John comes home. Part 1 of things fairy tales are made of

5687 (Approximately) by prettysailorsoldier (T, 6,771 w. || Alternate Canon, Christmas, Pining, Fluff, Soldier John) – When John’s leave request for Christmas is denied, Sherlock is nothing short of devastated, not that he’s letting it show. The holiday season now something he’s just waiting to end, Sherlock doesn’t think anything can possibly make it worse. That is, until he realizes no one in his life believes his army “boyfriend” is even real, but, luckily, everyone is in for a surprise. Part 13 of 25 Days of Johnlock

that thing you like by misspamela (E, 7,165 w. || Holmes Family, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers) – “Happy Christmas, etc. etc.” Sherlock and John go to the Holmes’ for Christmas, and everyone thinks they’re together.

Christmas by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 7,673  w. || Worried Sherlock, PWP, Drunkeness, Christmas, Est. Relationship) – John feels a lump rise in his throat, and it hits him, again, that this beautiful, infuriating creature is his. Completely, one-hundred percent his.

The Frost Child by twistedthicket1 (M, 9,994 w. || Magical Realism, Christmas, Angst, Fluff, Powerful John) – In a world where people are born with a Gift of varying levels, simple John Watson is the last person one might look at when thinking of any strong Magick capabilities. Hiding comfortably in the shadow of Sherlock’s brilliant deducing abilities, John is content to keep it that way…

Their Great Reward by BeautifulFiction (T, 10,095 w. || UST, First Kiss, Fluff) – Boxing day, in John’s opinions, is the worst day of the year. Christmas is over, the tree is wilting and stripped of gifts, and there’s a week of dead-time until the clean slate of the new year. However the combination of a blizzard, a power-cut and Sherlock might just make it a day to remember.

Merlot by Itsallfine (E, 14,844 w. || Christmas, Pining Sherlock, Wine, Slow Burn, First Kiss / Time, Love Confessions, Wine, Holmes Family) – Sherlock and John work toward becoming something more as they prepare to host the Holmes parents at 221B for the holidays. Part of 25 Days of Fic-Mas 2015.

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Missing Christmas Spirit by SilentAuror (M, 15,002 w. || Christmas, Domesticity, Post S3, Happy Ending) – John hates Christmas. So does Sherlock, but he suggests that they do Christmas “properly” this year to see if they can’t track down its elusive magic and discover for themselves what Christmas is supposed to be about.

Twelfth Night by yourdykeinshiningarmor (E, 15,139 w. || Fake Relationship, Christmas, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Angst & Fluff, BJ’s, Anal) – John is invited to his aunt’s Twelfth Night ball. Sherlock offers to attend with him as a friendly face among strangers, but John’s family force him to address his true feelings for Sherlock.

Till Death Do Us Part by prettysailorsoldier (M, 15,390 w. || Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Friends to Lovers, Fake Marriage, Christmas, Fluff) – When Sherlock links a recent spree of murder-suicides to a psychologist who specializes in marriage counseling, there’s really only one thing to do: Go undercover as a couple in hopes of drawing the killer out. Faking a relationship seems easy enough, but things take a turn when their real issues start to creep into the sessions, and, all the while, a killer is watching, waiting in the shadows for their chance to strike.

Never-Ending Cycle by orphan_account (T, 17,211 w. || Christmas, Est. Rel., Proposal, Fluff) – Or, four times Sherlock Holmes attempted to propose to John Watson, and the Christmas Party at which he finally did. Sherlock thinks he’s a miserable failure, John is confused, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade provide some unsatisfactory advice, and Mummy is, as always, the solution. All in a lovely, fluffy holiday theme.

Winter’s Delights by Kate_Lear (E, 21,173 w. || Holmes Family, Christmas, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Bed Sharing, Domestics) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family. Part 1 of Winter’s Delights

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock’s parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile (T, 23,584 w. || Pre-Slash, Drama, Fluff & Angst, Humour, Romance) – Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And “Anthea”, too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple. Part 2 of Xmas Dinners Verse

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (E, 32,731 w. || Christmas, Frottage, Comfort, Est. Rel., Fluff, Insecure Sherlock) – For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves. Part 2 of things fairy tales are made of

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, H/C, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness’, and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts’ now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Goodness Gives Extras by mydwynter (E, 39,629 w. || Fluff & Angst, Case Fic, Oral / Anal, Humour, First Time, Miscommunication, Snark, Christmas) – Christmas time. 'Tis the season to settle down with a drink, some food and a present or two, and to enjoy the quiet relaxation of the holiday. Instead, there’s a case that drags them all over, missing presents, disappointed kids, angry parents, and a freak snowfall. On top of that John has to deal with Sherlock, who is being even more of a prat than usual. He really shouldn’t have expected anything different.

John Watson’s Twelve Days of Christmas by earlgreytea68 (M, 53,464 w. || Christmas, Holmes Family, Fake Relationship, Alternate First Meeting, Falling in Love, Fluff and Angst, Hardcore Pining) – It’s the holiday season. John Watson needs money. Sherlock Holmes needs something else.

MARKED FOR LATER

These fics are ones I HAVE NOT READ YET, but have been recently MFL’d on my History list, so read at your own discretion. Most of them are Works in Progress, which have been marked “WIP”

A Study in Pink Pyjamas by alexxphoenix42 (M, 1,628 w. || Christmas, Est. Rel., Pink Pyjamas, Fluff, Cross-Dressing) – Sherlock hasn’t been a fan of either Christmas or fancy pyjamas for a number of years, but John has a way of changing his mind about things.

Impossible Things by A_Candle_For_Sherlock (G, 2,413 w. || Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Christmas, Fluff) – He’d promised himself he’d do it before Christmas, because otherwise Mummy WILL ask, probably in front of John.

The Biscuits May Look Terrible But At Least We’re Satisfied (E, 2,745 w. ||  Established Relationship, Idiots in Love, Christmas, Fluff & Smut, Christmas Cookies, Jealous Sherlock, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Voice Kink, Dirty Talk) – The whole baking craze had started two days ago when Sherlock had casually mentioned that he hadn’t eaten his mother’s famous homemade Christmas cookies in years. Ordinarily such a comment wouldn’t have stuck with John, he knew Sherlock wasn’t close to his parents, but the touch of wistfulness in Sherlock’s voice had John calling Mrs. Holmes as soon as Sherlock was in the shower. An attempt at a Christmas surprise and a flirtatious client all lead to some loving Christmas smut.

The Old Town by a_different_equation (T, 3,573 w. || Hans Christian Anderson Fusion || Magical Realism, Christmas, Fairy Tale Elements, Love Stories, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Museums, Sweet Sherlock) – Once upon a time there were two boys. This is the story how once upon December, they found the missing Christmas Spirit, true love and new beginnings. A Queer fairytale for all seasons.

First Christmas by PipMer (T, 3,978 w. || WIP || Est. Rel., Friendship, Fluff, Humour) – It’s Sherlock and John’s first Christmas together as a couple. Written as an interconnected set of 221b’s for the Sherlock December Ficlet Challenge.

Winter Ficlets by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for (M, 4,293+ w. || WIP || Christmas, Fluff & Smut, Jealous John, First Kiss / Time, Marriage Proposal, BJ’s, Suit Porn) – A collection of winter and holiday stand-alone ficlets.

Oh, Holy Night by sussexbound (E, 5,311 w. || Christmas, Smut, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Fluff) – Sherlock manoeuvres them towards the bedroom and then lowers John carefully onto the bed. “Take off your shirt and trousers. We should wash the shirt, just to be on the safe side with the poison, and you’ll want the ice directly on the bruise, I assume.” John winces and rolls onto his uninjured side. “You just want me to get my kit off.” “Mmm, well it is Christmas Eve, and I have been a very good boy this year.” John’s eyes widen a little, as a smile teases the corner of his mouth. “True.” Part 6 of Home is Not a Place

Five Christmases that went wrong and one that didn’t by love_in_mind_palace (M, 5,418 w. || WIP || Christmas, Fluff & Smut, Domestics Est. Rel., 5 and 1′s) – John isn’t sure about most of the things in his life. Except for the fact that he loves Sherlock, Sherlock loves him back and that after years of bad luck, he is getting the Christmas he always deserved.

It’s Cold Outside by Salambo06 (E, 7,357 w. || Mutual Pining, Cuddling, Snuggling, Frottage, First Kiss / Time, Bed Sharing, Miscommunications, Love Confessions) – John and Sherlock, Christmas night, the heat broke, add some shared body heat and (not so) accidental erections mixed with some miscommunication and awkwardness and, you guessed it, they’re sharing a bed.

Snowed In by Salambo06, WhatIfIAmInsane (E, 15,687 w. || Christmas, Smut, Unilock, Alternate First Meeting, Anal, Bottomlock, Army!John, BJ’s) – Sherlock had everything planned out for months now. Today he would finally put an end to this case. Even if that meant keeping an eye on his suspect in a crowded, german airport on Christmas Eve. The same crowded airport John was waiting in for his final flight back home from his first deployment to Afghanistan, not at all thrilled by the prospect of spending Christmas with his possibly drunk sister. Although the airport was stuffed to the brim with holiday travelers and tacky decorations, he was enjoying his time alone, mostly. But then, snow began to fall.

On the Table (Eventually John Watson’s Favorite Christmas Story) by emmagrant01, numberthescars (E, 18,135 w. || Post-TRF, Mild Angst, Fluff, Masturbation, Anal, Rimming, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Christmas) – Set after TRF. Someone’s leaving John strange little gifts in the weeks before Christmas. But who could it be?

All I Want For Christmas by Mssmithlove (E, 19,508 w. || Unilock, Mystrade, Christmas, Holmes Family, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Pining) – Taking Sherlock’s platonic university flatmate home with him for Christmas can be a tricky business. Especially when he wishes their relationship wasn’t platonic at all. Part 18 of Happiness Awaits

In Bed by Ellipsical (E, 29,382 w. || WIP || Est. Rel., Sex Toys, Anal, Flirting, Fluff, Kinks, Coming Out, Electrical Stimulation, Vibrators) – It’s almost Christmas, John thinks, and this, this is bullshit. The epilogue to Guilty Secrets. Part 2 of Guilty Secrets

Advent Calendar 2017 by Hotaru_Tomoe (E, 31,994+ w. || WIP || Est. Rel., Lingerie, Fluff, Humour, Smut, Various Universes, Advent Calendar Fic) – My Advent Calendar, 25 one shots from 1st to 25th December, Christmas-ish themed.  Each story has its own rating. Part 23 of The English job

“Merry Christmas” I wrapped it up and sent it with a note saying “I love you” by starrysummernights (E, 71,919+ w. || WIP Updates Daily || Post S4, Slow Burn, Mary is Not Nice, Christmas, Fluff, Smut, Angst, Parentlock, Past Torture / Rape) –John has moved back into 221B with his daughter Rosie after Mary was killed, but things are not exactly comfortable between him and Sherlock. After everything that has happened, they are trying to become friends again…and maybe something more. What better time than the Christmas season?! Takes place after TLD.