#he's so devoted to the player It's unreal

[not-your-lifeline]

Unsuur's 4th wall breaking line about NPC's limited dialogues and his undying loyalty towards the player even after getting friendzoned

god.... he's giving me the feels

[koinotame]

idolatry

word count: 3.1K content warnings: unhealthy relationship dynamics, half self indulgent reader insert fanfiction half character study, unreality, religious undertones, possession is discussed abstractely, hypothetical harm to reader, the yandere is subtle but it's there

summary: you've somehow been reincarnated into a version of genshin impact where all the playable characters are self aware and seem besmitten with the player. the problem is that they can't make up their minds about whether you're their player or not...

a/n: aether vs your many fake fans

the flow of time has never felt steady to aether. despite how important it was to humans wherever he and his sister have traveled, there has always been a disconnect from it for him. You disappearing for months at a time is nothing out of the ordinary. time flows the same with or without You. like the sea's waves, it recedes and pushes. when he's used as a vessel by You, weeks can pass by in the blink of an eye and hours can feel like years spent in Your embrace. years have passed since You first started possessing them, and yet it's only been a couple of months at most. nothing moves forward in Your presence, nothing stays in stasis in Your absence.

so when he suddenly truly understands how humans experience the passage of time during another one of Your disappearances, aether immediately knows something is wrong. filled with dread and a harrowing heaviness deep in his gut that something has happened he can never take back, he finally understands what it means to be desperate for more time. have You abandoned him at last? has he not been enough, not quick enough to uncover this world's secrets and find his sister as You desired? finding you, clearly not from this world and trying to backtrack when you call him by his name—aether, his name, not Your sacred name he has been passing off as his own ever since Your arrival in teyvat—before any of Your other undeserving, fanatical vessels do seems nothing short of a miracle to him.

overjoyed at not having been abandoned after all, he clings to you and promises to protect and guide you through this foreign world—this time not as Your vessel, but as your first and most devoted follower. he doesn't need to be his own person, not when he can exist within the context of you.

paimon is less convinced. aether has turned even more immoderate and unnerving ever since your appearance, and she's not a fan. she… kind of understands. how important You are to aether, to the many others You've met through them during their journey. but does he—do any of them—really need to devote their entire being to You? she doesn't mind you, as a person, she really doesn't. but she doesn't like what You as a concept do to aether.

these days, she barely feels like she's part of the group, the one she formed with aether what seems so long ago, anymore. your arrival has completely overshadowed her presence. where she was previously part of a duo with her travel companion, she feels like little more than an afterthought now. she misses him. he calls her silly for it. she has only ever known him through Your command, so there isn't anything to miss. he's the same as he has always been. she just doesn't understand because You never graced her with Your embrace, and now that you have seemingly lost that ability perhaps she will never understand.

she says nothing, but she finds herself a little glad. better to never experience Your embrace, whatever that means, than lose herself completely in devotion to someone who clearly wants none of it.

the first archon they approach with you, venti, is apologetic but firm in the notion that aether is simply confused. he can understand how aether came to the conclusion, desperate and unused as he is following Your disappearance, but Your presence is simply unmistakable. he bids the two of you farewell amicably, but you find it impossible not to notice the difference in his demeanour afterwards when you run into him around the city. his smile is deftly crafted and practiced, his voice level and fingers steady as they pluck the strings of his lyre, but something about his eyes betray his own growing desperation.

if even aether is faltering like this, perhaps You really have abandoned them this time…? if he shows You how well mondstadt is faring, how much they've rebuilt and grown and thrived since You helped him quell dvalin's anguish, will You be proud of him and return? even if not to him, at least to the city? will You ever have Your vessels dance in the city square's fountain, or make the hike up the skyfrost nail to gaze upon the beauty of the unabating grey and white landscape again?

over time, even venti wavers and starts seeing what aether has seen in you. it is equal parts acceptance and desperation that drives him to you, to the one Your faithful traveler has placed his belief in, to feel Your embrace again, even if it can never be the same as it once was. he survived thousands of years without Your grace, to fold for it now that he knows what Your benevolence feels like is nothing short of shameful. the thought gnaws at him all the while until it has consumed him whole. in the end, he has not grown at all; still that little wind spirit desperate to not lose another he holds close. somehow, when you hold him, he can't seem to mind.

while the two of them have never discussed the matter of You explicitly, aether is perceptive enough to realise zhongli is one of the most reverent of the whole… of any of Your vessels. you called them cast without thinking the other day, whatever that meant. of Your cast. so he goes to him next, telling him that You've made Your way to this world permanently, that he's found You. his first instinct is anger, anger at your lying, anger that aether, who You have blessed with Your presence more than anyone else, who You picked as Your primary vessel, would fall for such mockery. aether was astute to not bring you along when he announced this, or perhaps you knew and chose not to yourself. it matters not. he knows he has proven himself to You, that the real You would never hesitate to reveal Yourself to him. instead of expression his righteous fury, he does his utmost to reign it in. if anything, this works in his favour. he almost feels sorry for aether, wrapped so tightly around the pinkie of a fraud.

upon meeting you properly, he realises perhaps he misunderstood the situation a little. zhongli isn't a fool (when he's not blinded by momentary rage, at least), he can see how uncomfortable you are with the whole situation. while you are not blameless for continuing this facade, aether has deluded himself and cast You aside entirely on his own—and when You finally grace them with Your real presence, zhongli is certain aether will be the first to fall from Your grace. that drunkard too, falling into temptation out of loneliness like that, will get what's coming to him.

until then, all he needs to do is keep his distance and stay as he is, as Your most loyal and dedicated devotee. until then, all he needs to do is send the two of you off. there is no need for him to get violent, not when Your punishment will hurt aether all the more. he thought he was long past such childish emotions, but he supposes that even now You breathe new vigor into him.

you shy either away from visiting inazuma entirely. seeing how the previous archons have reacted to you, you have little doubt that the raiden shogun would be the first to get violent. it's a dilemma you would rather avoid altogether, if possible. just in case. maybe your worry is misplaced, but… aether, of course, can never deny You, and the raiden shogun, of course, would meet your expectations without a proper thought.

the puppet has learned since, but much of the framework of logic she used to enact the vision hunt decree and rule over inazuma in the past several hundred years remains and is hard to completely make away with in such a short amount of time. imposing ei's will on a whole nation is wrong, but arresting and doing away with someone making a ridicule of You is a completely different thing. ei remains a little more hesitant, but even she cannot bring herself to completely disagree. You are the pinnacle of eternity, of control, of life—for some mere human to be impersonating You is unacceptable. hearing the traveler, Your closest companion, has put his trust in you would give her a bit of pause. he was right last time, so maybe this time as well… but then it was You who was right through him, not him in and of himself.

ultimately, your instincts would have turned out to be correct, and she buries herself in her plane once again, leaving the shogun to continue cleaning up inazuma. on her own, she imagines herself meeting You—the true You—and what it would be like to welcome you to her nation in earnest. she wonders if You would be proud of her.

nahida knows You immediately. she is the archon of wisdom, and weak as she may be, that title is not for nothing. your presence feels a bit differently from how it did when there was much more distance between You and her, but it pushes and pulls in a similar way. she doesn't feel she needs to, but should it come to it, she could always take a quick peek at your thoughts… and she would just get confirmation that she was right from the start. now that she's free—largely by virtue of You and the traveler—her word has much more weight than before. sumeru will always welcome You with open arms. if you prefer to live more privately, she understands that. but know that you can always come to her. for anything. she really, really means it.

it's only a small, selfish part of her, and she doesn't like thinking this way or how the other archons, the ones who should recognise You right away, are treating you, but a tiny part of her deep down finds herself feeling almost proud that she's the only one to recognise your grace. whenever you're around, she finds herself spending all of her free time with you. she wants to hear everything—your thoughts, your opinions, which weather or meal or nation you like better, your experiences, your home world, what it was like handling your vessels, everything and anything you deem fit to share with her. from how you indulge her, she's glad she also seems to bring you a similar comfort to the one You give her.

she wonders if Your embrace feels similar to when she possesses others' bodies. the warmth and absolute serenity that overtakes all of her senses when You control her can't compare to anything else. it's nice to be in at the helm of herself too, of course, especially with her newfound autonomy. but if You were to offer her that comfort permanently, she wouldn't be able to turn down Your offer.

when furina looks at you, she sees a reflection of herself. she might not recognise You, but she cannot bring herself to disdain someone in such a similar position to herself. she cannot imagine that You, kind and benevolent and goodhearted as You are, would want her to be cruel to you. whether that is her genuine belief or an attempt to redeem herself to You, after deceiving not only Your vessel but also You directly, does it matter?

Your presence has been a fairly recent entrance in her life, but she has been hearing about You for hundreds of years. she cannot remember a single conversation she ever had with her mirror self that did not feature You as a point of dialogue, of ambition. with only her and You to cling onto for hope for five hundred years, the only natural outcome was to develop such a strong faith and dependence on You. perhaps not as fervent as some of the other… archons, but not something that should be underestimated. Your presence in fontaine, even if through the traveler, had given her renewed hope at the time. as soon as she saw him for the first time, she knew.

your presence is… completely different. there's hints of You—likely residue You've left in the traveler—but not much else. she cannot believe in false idols, she tells the two of you, but she will see about providing some lodging for you. even if the traveler—even if aether is wrong about this, his service to fontaine deserves some merit, so she's sure this can be overlooked. it's what You would want, she hopes to herself. and if she finds herself seeking you out more and more, what difference does it make? when you smile so sweetly at her and praise her for holding on for so long, that you're proud of her, her resolve cracks.

neuvillette has always known of You. it is only when the traveler shows up in fontaine with Your presence in tow that he understands with certainty that You do exist, that he truly understands how wonderful Your warmth feels even at a distance and in these circumstances. You take Your leave for a while, and he thinks he is alright with that. even just knowing Your comfort so intimately (because this is already so much more than most are permitted), however brief, is enough for him. perhaps his returned authority also has an impact, but he is certain it would not have felt this invigorating without Your help.

and then You return, and he finds himself actually understanding what it means to be embraced. no sooner is he experiencing what it feels like to be whole for the first time before he finds himself in sumeru's desert, where he remains stranded for a week. Your presence fades until his punishment—for what, he remains uncertain—is complete, but Your hold on him does not, and something keeps him in place there the entire time. You do not use him much after that. he cannot deny Your judgement, even if he does not quite understand.

he learns of your arrival in teyvat through chance, by way of some opera gossip which happens to mention that furina has found herself a close friend. when he catches a glimpse of you… he cannot say he feels Your presence. none of you breathe a word about the subject to him, and it is only much later he learns of what you're hiding. if Your every loyal furina and Your first and most important vessel recognised You when he did not even so much as suspect it, where does that leave him?

of course childe would recognise You. that piece of the abyss that clawed its way into him so deeply it will never separate from him again would recognise You anywhere, even should ajax not. long before your current descent, he recognised Your strings of control much earlier than most of Your other vessels did. while he's never really given much thought to whether others have recognised You as well, he noticed the way Your presence lingered on aether in particular right away.

it's part of what drew him to the traveler in the first place—what's so special about him? why not childe? why did this outlander get to be Your vessel and he didn't? has he not proven himself enough for You? his mission aside, he felt a more personal disdain at the traveler. after he embarrassed himself in front of You and the truth came to light, he tries his hardest to redeem himself to the traveler. to You. so, naturally, when Your favourite little traveler comes to him with You in tow, he recognises You right away, as he always has. he's a little bitter, if anything—why did it take aether so long to come to him? does he not trust him? is he controlling You and Your actions? or—and he tries not to think about this too hard—is it You who doesn't trust him?

it doesn't matter. You're here now, and he's here for You now, and he'll do everything in his power to help You. You won't have to be alone any more, he promises, You won't have to hurt any more. nobody will harm You, ever again, not when he's here now. (he ignores how aether has easily stopped any harm from coming Your way so far without his help.)

it is you who thinks to approach albedo. the link is weak, but as soon as aether shows up at his makeshift lab in dragonspine with You in tow, he knows. it's as if he has no other option than to recognise You, however faint Your aura has become, as if there was never another possibility. it makes sense—after all, he was made for You. so were all the others, in a way, as was the whole world of teyvat, but not in the same way his master crafted him for You. to appeal to You. to be used by You. to find out the truth about You, though it's possible she just left him with that mission (to find out the truth about "the world"—You are the world) to keep him busy after she threw him away when he did not yield the results she was searching for. it doesn't matter. he's found You now, and he can't let you slip away. especially not to Your other, faulty vessels, those who couldn't recognise You at first glance.

thankfully, you seem fond of the area of the mountain and don't mind staying. you even take interest in his work, though you seem to not enjoy the constant sketches and pieces of art he produces of You for you as much. it's not the same as when You fill every molecule in his body and bend it to Your whim, but this is also nice.

one day you ask him about alice; she's been to different worlds, so you wonder if he could ask her about her methods. you seem hesitant, and you waited specifically until aether had left to collect some food for the next couple of days. it's a logical choice, Your favourite vessel would not take Your request well. albedo can't find it in himself to either. even if it's you asking, he cannot just let You leave, not after all this time. he promises you he will ask, but is honest when he tells you alice might take a long, long time to pass by mondstadt again, so… in the meantime, let him know if there's anything he could do to make Your stay here in teyvat more comfortable. anything at all. You're going to be here for some time, after all.

[tuesdaygray]

thinking about. the consistent thread in challengers (2024) of wanting your life to be about more than "hitting a ball with a racket."

how tashi is the first character to bring this up and whether or not she means it (she's really only planning to do a year of college) she knows inherently that being well rounded is practical. that she's not from the same place as the country club, tennis academy, daddy's money kids. this should be an unattainable dream for most, but it's hers and she has it and it's terribly ingrained into her life but "what if this doesn't work out?" and then it doesn't. she gets injured and she gets stuck in this loop of the past, in her own potential, in what could have been. when it feels like everyone is counting on you to do and succeed at one thing ("she's going to make her family millionaires"), the one thing that is the framework and catalyst for everything you know, how do you come back from that? her life could now, realistically, become about something else because she actually can't have her dream anymore, but she becomes obsessed, holding on with white knuckles and performing alterations because she can't let it go, until she admits sardonically in a mostly abandoned applebees that her life really has only been about one thing.

and patrick. who challenges tashi's original statement. who has no problem devoting his life to tennis because it's a "good way to avoid having a job." who never had any dreams beyond playing the sport he's always had a knack for, coasting by on natural talent, never having to try. realizing too late that what really made it worth it was tennis as a relationship, not the selfish ego stroke it had been when he was good enough to win tashi's number. and he's stuck in arrested development, just like her. he never grew up, he never let go of the past, of what it felt like to play doubles with his best friend, of what it felt like to watch tashi at the top of her game. but he's painfully aware. he's made his bed and he's tangled in the sheets and he loves it and he hates it and above all else, he misses the way it used to be.

then there's art. whose decision to go to stanford is never questioned because it's unspoken general knowledge that he couldn't have gone pro right away. he never expected to be this big time professional player, he was always just concerned with doing a "really good job." and because of this, art's life is the one that probably should have been about more, the foundation was laid for it. but he's stuck too, a passive actor in a life he chose and was probably never meant to have. the holder of and heir to tashi's and patrick's unrealized dreams. (was it ever his dream?) and after eight years, after attaining it and living it without a real passion for it, he's ready to give it up because, out of the three of them, he wants his life to be about more than "hitting a ball with a racket" because it's "embarrassing to be doing this shit when you're 40." but he's the one who bears the weight of success, alone at the top, where the people he loves can only dream of knocking him off. so shouldn't he be grateful for it?

[melancholysway]

Hello! Uhm, I so wanted to request a 2012 Leo x GN!reader long shot, where the reader has dissociation and anxiety often causing them to go to Leo for grounding and comfort.

Dissociation symptoms:

- Sometimes feeling disconnected from yourself and the world around you.

- Feeling detached from your body or feel as though the world around you is unreal/artificial.

- Disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions, and identity.

I wanted to request this because I often feel alone and overwhelmed when I go through my own dissociative episodes, sometimes even wishing someone could be there for me, to hug me, rub my back, and tell me everything is going to be okay.

If you could do this, I would be extremely grateful. If you can’t, that’s okay, either way, I hope you’re having a nice day/night/afternoon/whatever lmao.

Thank you!

TMNT 2012!Leonardo x GN!Reader: Dissociation

 Hi! I’ve actually experienced dissociation while I was high. I had to stop taking edibles because of a bad high, where it turned into an anxiety attack and felt completely not myself and had an out-of-body experience. I can only smoke it now. So I completely understand this! I had to deal with it on my own since I took them while I was home alone and couldn’t tell my parents about it. It was seriously scary, so writing this would be helpful for me as well :), thank you for your request! I hope you enjoy, seriously!

It’s a scary feeling. Feeling like everything around you is some sort of stimulation. That we’re just players in this game called life, being controlled by someone like a video game character. 

The idea that everything can go wrong is terrifying, when you’re alone, it’s even worse. 

You’ve had those feelings of dissociation before, the episodes were pretty bad. They weren’t as bad as now, especially because you were dating a mutant turtle. 

Now, it may seem odd, but, dating someone that everyone thinks can’t exist only makes those episodes worse. Leonardo and his whole family didn’t seem real to people. Because they don’t know of their existence. 

When you first met them, you had to keep telling yourself they were very much real. It’s probably weird to say, but, you had to physically touch each turtle. Even Raph. Yes, Raph. 

He was uncomfortable at first, but as long as you don’t do that again, you’ll be on good terms. And you were, or, are. You’re on good terms with Leo’s brothers. 

The hole in your stomach when it came to anxiety, and that looming cloud over your head whilst experiencing it seemed to die whenever you were around the turtles. They were your safety, and as long as they were around, nothing could happen to you. No outside force would even touch you, Y/n L/n. Especially if Leonardo was still breathing and walking this Earth, nobody would take you like some have tried to take April. Leo was devoted to you, and he made sure you were safe.

A lot of the time, dissociation happens when you’re alone. It barely happens around the turtles. They keep your mind off of any negative thoughts. Splinter as well; he understands the dangers of anxiety and lifts your spirits every time you’re around. Leonardo, the boyfriend, puts forth a lot of effort to do so. Meditation is his main suggestion to be of help. It allows for a clear mind to where you’re fully aware of yourself and everything around you. A lot of the time, it helps, but it’s almost impossible to do it alone. Believe me, you’ve tried. Meditation seems to only work fully when Leo does it with you.

He doesn’t mind at all.

Because for you, he’d do anything to help you through an anxiety-induced event. 

“I’m…not really sure.” You sit on your bed, shifting uncomfortably as Leonardo makes his way through your window. The turtle stands in front of you, placing his hands on top of yours. 

“Do you feel that?” He asks, hopeful to get you through this wave successfully. You seemingly stare into nothingness, the room around you becoming panoramic in nature through your lens.

When you don’t feel his hands, you begin to breathe sporadically. Is Leo even with you right now? Is he even real? You feel something atop your hands, but it doesn’t feel authentic. It’s almost as if your room is a holograph, with Leonardo being an A.I of some sort. It’s not real. But, if he’s not real, were you even real? Was this room you were in even yours?

Leonardo knew it would be bad when you texted him a rather odd message. When you were typing it appeared to be jumbled up nonsense, but it made sense to you. So, without a second thought, he ditched the Space Heroes re-run and came over to you. You see, Leonardo was the perfect turtle to receive help and comfort from. He’s caring, he’s patient, and with you, wow, he puts an effort to be the person you can run to for soothing. 

Because, that’s just how Leo is wired. His entire aura seems to burst with yellow. A bright color, one that indicates a pleasant sense of self. One with confidence, and one that can inspire others to be the same. As soon as Leonardo steps into a room with his brothers in it, they can’t help but feel at ease. Since, well, the blue-eyed leader tends to solve everyone’s problems. So, when he bursts through your window like the ball of sun he is, glowing with concern, he knows that he has to really find a way to help. 

Leonardo often wonders if he is enough for you, because he’s in a constant battle with himself to be the best he can be. He wonders how you see him, or what you think of him. It’s not like you don’t tell him all the time how great he is to you, it’s just, well, he can’t believe it sometimes. That he actually found someone who loves him in a way that his brothers assumed they would never experience. Sure, Raph had Mona Lisa, and Mikey had Renet, and Donnie…well, Donnie is going through his own thing, but you get the idea. Leonardo wondered if he would find that love. He can admit that before he knew Karai was Miwa, that he had some sort of crush on her, but…you know- she’s family. He doesn’t think of her like that at all now; that’s his sister. And, he loves Karai like family. The right way.

So when you told Leo that you loved him for the very first time- a sudden outburst- he was over the moon. That’s what he had been wanting this whole time. For someone to reciprocate the love he gave them. You just so happened to be that person he loved as well. 

So, as he looks at you, shaking from the sudden lack of thoughts you’re having and disconnection from everything around you, he absolutely has to hug you. To let you know that this thing called life is real. To let you know that he’s very much real, your life is real, everything you’re second-guessing being real is…well…real.  That the Earth spinning on an axis is so fucking real, and that he could get Donnie to tell you about it for hours and hours just so you know you’re not crazy. 

Because, you’re not crazy. 

Leonardo knows that, and he makes sure that you know it, too.

So as he slowly pulls his hands away, and lifting you up from the bed, letting you use him as leverage, he plants your bare feet on the carpet, so you can feel it. You’re standing on carpet, there’s nothing artificial about that. The feeling of the tiny microfibers tickling your feet, and the dust that gets stuck in between the nylon fiber. Those are all real. That the feet you’re using to stand on are yours. Everyone has them, but these are exclusive to you.

“Here, take a step forward after me,” He holds your hands, looking at you as he takes one step back, patiently waiting for you to do the same. You squeeze your eyes shut, using your other senses to help you. The eyes may play tricks on you. As you take that first step, you can feel your leg move- on your command, not anyone else’s. You feel your feet plant on the carpet, and nobody had moved you but yourself. Because, you got this. You’re in control. 

“Now, you step where you want to go.” After Leo had gotten you comfortable enough to open your eyes, he smiles gently,  “Just focus on me, okay? I’ll be right here to follow.” You search around, wondering where you should go, realizing that it’s sort of hard to see in your now dimly lit room. To avoid any type of overstimulation, Leonardo took it upon himself to lower the brightness in your room. 

You step to your left, watching as Leo does the same, following suite like he promised. His hands are still in yours, not thinking to let go. 

“Keep going,” Another step, and another. 

That out-of-body experience seems to calm, as you can feel yourself becoming one with your mind and body. That your brain and soul are very present, inside of your body.

Leo begins his affirmations, something he’s learned that always works, no matter what problem may arise. He’s one with himself, and can pass that positivity to you. 

“I’m not a figment of your episode. I’m real, very, very much real,” 

You repeat his words, seeing the image of Leo in front of you to appear authentic after every positive affirmation. 

He exists. 

His brothers exist. 

May be out of science fiction, but it’s very real. It’s so real, that you can remember what the sewer smells like in the summer when Leonardo mentions it. You couldn’t forget that smell, especially with the humidity. 

He’s helping you through this, he tells you. Because he loves you, and that after this is all said and done, you’ll be okay. 

It’s the truth, you’re going to be okay. 

So as time goes on with Leonardo following your every move, watching you patiently and hopeful that you’ll recover, you come down from that out-of-body feeling. You’re 100% you, 100% in control, and this world around you was 100% real. 

If this wasn’t enough, he sits with you on your bed, only to lay down and face one another. He mouths a slow ‘I love you,’ before bringing you close to him, entertwining his arms with yous as your face is buried in his plastron. His scent, always smelling like white tea with a hint of sage, goes into your nostrils and sends a message to your brain that, this is in fact your boyfriend of so many months. That he’s hugging you, making sure you’re okay- rubbing your back with his free hand and quietly speaking more positive affirmations into the atmosphere. That you’re going to be okay, and that he’s always going to be here for you. 

Because he is. He cares about you too much to see you like this. He does everything in his power to help, and it works. 

Oh God, it works. 

As you utilize your 5 senses again, you can feel everything around you. You’re not just looking through a glass or a floating body. You’re grounded, and you’re safe. 

You can feel Leo’s strong arms around you and the circles being rubbed into your back, how gentle his hands were on your body; how they always were. He was always so gentle with you. Treating you as softly as he knew how, because you did the same. 

You can see his plastron, although hard to see, you can faintly make out the marks that he’s gotten from each and every battle he’s been in. You place your hand on his plastron, using your fingers to feel every ridge or scratch on it. 

You can hear his heartbeat, as you place your ear on his chest, feeling his body heave everytime he took a breath. He did this slowly, as he had told you to breathe in and out slowly with him while you lay together, intertwined with one another. 

You fall in love with his scent all the time, he starts to smell like the tea he always drinks, and the sage his Sensei always burns in the dojo. You absolutely cannot complain, Leonardo, in your opinion, has the best scent. Albeit that statement is heavily biased. 

And finally, as Leonardo places a kiss on your forehead, you lift your head from being buried in his clutches and look up at him. He places a soft, gentle kiss on your lips, and you can taste him. He always tasted like spearmint, since, well, he was always chewing gum. You never knew why, but he mentioned once that it had something to do with stress. Since he can’t exactly smoke, he takes his stress out on a piece of Orbit Spearmint gum.

As you come back full circle to reality, you can’t help but hug your boyfriend. Leonardo is truly a gem, and an amazing boyfriend. He’s always there to help you out during times like these, but this one felt different. He tried new methods, like making you walk barefoot on the carpet, something he hasn’t done before. It seemed as though he knew exactly what he was doing, knowing it’ll be of help somewhat.

 Leo had done extensive research. 

To be able to help you fully. That he had a bunch of methods up his sleeve to pick out to better help you based on the situation. 

And for that, you can’t help but thank him. With a soft smile, and another kiss, but this one, is long and more passionate. 

Leonardo always gets that pink blush on his cheeks after kisses like that, and he smiles brightly when he comes to the realization that he’s successfully got you back. He has you back, his Y/n back.  

As he pulls you in for another hug, he whispers quietly, but loud enough for you to hear,

“I love you, Hana.”

And he does, he truly does. 

//

Taglist:

@bee-1n-space

Masterlist

[youaremysunshine-court]

Okay okay okay I've had maybe 8 hours of sleep over 3 days but an aftg hc will fix me thus I present

The foxes' fav podcasts

Aaron

the beef and dairy podcast

he's a basic bitch - listens to it on the way to work/ college

refuses to argue about it, clearly his opinions are the only right ones

he will occasionally listen to a podcast on exy if it covers on of the foxes

Andrew

welcome to nightvale

he started listening in high-school and never stopped

like Aaron, he knows his opinions are the only right ones, but he will not hesitate to verbally decimate someone who disagrees

(yes it helped him accept his sexuality)

Kevin

tends to jump podcasts depending on his current obsession

also tends to listen to podcasts in random order, again according to what interests him most, but it annoys everyone around him

doesn't listen to fiction, mostly talk shows, exy players interviews, and history podcasts (Loves Revolutions, will pull out his socialist trousers at any time)

Nicky

listened to one (1) dnd podcast bc he thought it would draw him and Andrew together

normally listens to Crime Junkie and then calls Erik bc he can't sleep

loves the new watcher podcast, but will always be a buzzfeed unsolved fangirl at heart

(like Kevin, he jumps around but prefers to be caught up on a podcast beforehand)

Neil

he doesn't care for podcasts as a whole, but strangely he's the one who enjoys dnd podcasts

he found one (1) he liked his last year of college

binges them at the gym and on running days

he is SO picky, the vibes have to be just right or he will not listen

(he once dropped a podcast bc one of the players' characters 'gave him bad vibes')

Dan

bechdel cast fan all the way down

sometime she renee and allison will lie around in the dark with an episode playing

goes down the list in chronological order, until she catches up and then listens to each episode the day it drops

writes up a detailed review of each episode and posts it once she's finished

Allison

again a bechdel cast fan, listens to them with dan

on her own, she listens to Mabel

devoted fan, even when they dropped off the planet for YEARS, she stayed there listening to old episodes

absolutely overjoyed at the new episodes, she can't wait for them to meet

(shipping them may have tipped her off to her own bisexuality)

Renee

true crime/horror fan

not podcasts, but she goes down the strangest wormholes trying to find 'real paranormal experiences'

listens to slightly unreal podcasts like Alice isn't dead, welcome to nightvale (her and Andrews first bonding experience), and the magnus archives

she has so much lore on the undead, the fae, vampires - it's not even funny bc sometimes she points out people in cafes and goes 'he looks...' before allison shushes her

Matt

behind the bastards fan (sometimes he drives Kevin around while they both listen to Robert Evans smooth voice)

will punch a nazi despite the podcasts repeated pleas to fight them in more official ways

Renee introduced him to horror, but he prefers subtly unsettling to outright horror - he listens to 12:37, folxlore, and middle:below

he likes listening to mabel with Allison, but sometimes can't deal with the raw emotion

Seth

Didn't listen to podcasts

He couldn't process words by themselves, if there was a transcript sometimes he'd listen to a podcast at x1.5 speed

huge buzzfeed unsolved fan (not the supernatural ones, just the true crime ones)

pretty into american history, but not in a frat boy way, more like oh yeah the appalachias used to be covered by water there could be pirate ghosts there

fucking loved old gods of appalachia, but was too scared to listen to more than one episode a month

And that's that! (Buzzfeed unsolved is an honorary podcast I will fight you)(all these podcasts are from ym personal curated list bc im picker than neil) :)

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

[doux-amer]

God, we all love Leo so much, don’t we? We’re still heartbroken and wishing that this was all a bad dream that we’d wake up from soon, but that reception when Leo got from PSG fans was unreal. I disagree vehemetly with anyone who says that cules took Leo for granted; if you’ve ever watched more than a few Barça matches, you’d know that’s simply not true. There’s few things more breathtaking than Camp Nou sing Leo’s name with awe and devotion.

But there’s something special about this too. No one wanted to see Leo leave, but part of our frustration over the past several years had to do with how we were wasting Leo’s last years and...there’s this collective hope and optimism that maybe, just maybe, Leo will get to see just how much he means to the world beyond just cules and he’ll be able to play without being sad, worried, unhappy, and stressed by the situation at Barça. As a friend said, he looked like a little kid who didn’t know what to do with that outpouring of love and part of that is because he’s Leo. He’s shy and he sometimes doesn’t know how to take such an ardent display of affection. But you can also tell how surprised he was and...I think we want that, like we desperately wanted him to win Copa America this year and were ecstatic when he did. We just want him to be happy and free of worry. We just want him to focus on playing without anything burdening him, to have a few years like that. 

It won’t be with us and that hurts more than anything, but we’re not good for him right now. Maybe he can have that elsewhere while we work on recovering and maybe one day we’ll see him back with us, whether it’s as a player or something else (but god, do I want him back as a player at least for one last time before he retires because it’s only right). 

We all love him and it goes beyond club and country loyalties. We just love him so much and want the best for him. 

[tfdamian]

new york’s very own DAMIAN NERO was spotted on broadway street in balenciaga sneakers . your resemblance to logan lerman is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-fifth birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being devoted , but also short-tempered . i guess being a taurus explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be bourbon, twilights, ocean waves & (I accidentally killed my fiance while I was drunk driving and that lead to me trying to kill myself)

𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄: Christian Damian Nero 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇: May 17th 1995 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄: Patras, Greece

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒: Pietro Nero (book author / alive ), Elena Suarez ( vet / deceased) 𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Rosie(35), Basil(32), Jennifer(20) — (all alive) 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒: N/A 𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍: Taurus 𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒: cigarettes, bourbon, twilights, horror movies, old cars 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐎: Clancy Gilroy (the midnight gospel), Damon Salvatore (the vampire diaries) 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐑: Guitar player / singer john mayer’s vc)

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃:

Damian was born in a wealthy family but he never got excited about money you know?; his father is a very recognized horror book author and he was born when his father was already someone with a title. His childhood was a bit full of shit, his father was famous but was also a drug addict and with that came a lot of violence for him and his siblings and mother.

I think the only way of Damian coping with that was music, and he fell in love with guitar.  He didn’t even asked his father for money, he got a job and saved money until he had enough to buy a guitar oh his own and taught himself with books and videos (he’s very smart btw).

Damian was and always will be mommy’s boy. Her mother met her husband in Spain (she was from Madrid), and then they moved to Greece from where Pietro was from, got married and all their kids were born and raised in Patras. When he was a teenager he encouraged his mother to get a divorce and at first she was very afraid of it but eventually they all ran away from the nightmare they were living and moved to Spain.

Five years after to that his mother fell ill and Damian had two jobs to pay for the medicine and the treatment she was receiving but they had this deep talk where she accepted there was nothing they could do to stop the reality of her death and this shook Damian. He tried to convince her not to give up but she had the final word and finally died four months after they had that talk; he’s still grieving (his mother passed away last year) and he has been avoiding his siblings because he doesn’t want to face the fact that his mother is no longer alive and that burns inside, he thinks he could’ve made more to convince her to fight and stay even though she was already tired.

He moved to NYC to start a new life. Without any money he started playing outside a walmart until a few guys found him and they formed a band. They basically lived in a van until they had the money to get a very shitty apartment and lived there until the band started to get more recognition and fame. With all the fame it all came down to drugs and alcohol for Damian, in between he met Victoria who was a fan and they ended up falling in love and doing crazy shit together. They had been together for a year when Damian proposed and two weeks later they were at a party, came back home with him driving drunk. He fell asleep at the wheel, lost control of the car and that resulted in an accident; when the paramedics arrived victoria was already gone, damian had to be induced in a coma to recover but he later tried to committ suicide for the guilt he felt about vicky’s death. 

He was found by luck by a friend before bleeding to death and was taken AGAIN to the hospital. Forced to go on rehab and has been out for a couple of months now. 

Damian is a very rich boy but he never talks about his past or his family because that sends him right into having panic attacks and it’s bad, mostly because he’s not over his mother death even though he’s trying. So he puts on a mask and often lies about his origins but he always gets the usual ‘you kinda look like Pietro Nero…do you know him by chance?’ and he goes ‘nope, no idea what you’re talking about’ :))) oh baby.

[moretalk]

“While fun, despite its dualistic nature, is a relatively simple idea — a state of being — play is a much more complex phenomenon. There is relatively little written on fun, but the phenomenon of play has been studied and written about extensively. There are a number of classic books on play, including Johan Huizenga’s Homo Ludens, 11 and Roger Callois’ L’Homme et les jeux (translated as Man, Play and Games) 12, both of which relate play to anthropological and sociological concerns.

So what is play? 

The OED, which allots “fun” less than a page, devotes over 10 of its tiny-print pages to defining play, with 39 numbered definitions, each with many subcategories. With such a wide variety of meanings, ranging from sword fighting to staged representation to an activity of children to sexual intercourse, it is no wonder there is sometimes controversy and misunderstanding over the meaning and value of play. 

In the case of play, though, the dictionary is less useful to us, since what we are concerned about here is not all the many ways the word is used, but a particular activity that we all pretty much recognize. So let us turn instead to the theorists. 

Johan Huizenga, in his book Homo Ludens, characterizes play as a free activity standing quite consciously outside of “ordinary” life as being “not serious.” Play, he says, absorbs the player “intensely and utterly.” It has fixed rules and order, does not have any material interest or profit, and, encourages the formation of social groupings. 13 Roger Callois, in Man, Play and Games, defines play as an activity which is not obligatory, has its own space and time, is uncertain in its outcomes, creates no material wealth, is governed by rules, and has elements of make-believe and unreality. 14 

Out of these definitions of play a couple of factors merit emphasis in our context. 

• Play is something one chooses to do. 

• Play is intensely and utterly absorbing. 

• Play promotes the formation of social groupings.“ 

- https://marcprensky.com/writing/Prensky%20-%20Digital%20Game-Based%20Learning-Ch5.pdf

[saintfm-blog]

❛ new york’s very own santiago “saint” cruz was spotted on broadway street in christian louboutin chelsea boots. your resemblance to tommy martinez is unreal. according to tmz, you just had your twenty-fourth birthday bash. while living in new york, you’ve been labeled as being finicky , but also enterprising. i guess being an aries explains that. three things that would paint a better picture of you would be calloused fingers decorated with cartier rings, cruising in his ‘62 aston martin, and an alluring smirk. & ( cismale & he/him ) + (nikki, 21, she/her, est )

hey , folks ! i’m nikki / nik and this is my boy santiago but he goes by saint . i’m going to introduce him below , but pls like this and i’ll come plot with you or feel free to slide into my dms !

                                                                                                                   STATS .

legal name  :   santiago tomás torres .

nicknames  :   saint .

age  :  twenty - four  .

birthday  :  march 28th , 1995 .

zodiac  :  aries  .

gender  :  cismale  .

pronouns  :  he    &    him  .

height  :  6 ′ 2 ″  .

hometown  :    caracas , venezuela  .

nationality  :  american  ,  venezuelan  .

ethnicity  :  latino   .

occupation  :  second baseman  &  shortstop for the new york yankees  .  

                                                                                                                                      HISTORY .

santiago was born in caracas , venezuela to luis martinez  and claudia cruz . saint was the sole child of the young couple . his father , however , left his wife and son when saint was six . it didn’t matter , though , because claudia was a powerhouse of a woman .

the cruz family was not wealthy by any means , but they were comfortable . claudia worked tirelessly to provide for her child .

saint developed an interest in baseball at a young age , beginning at 4 . his mother helped him developed his skills and encouraged her son to make this a career . it was a silly dream , saint thought , until he was scouted out by baseball academies and moved to maracay , venezuela to devote his time to one . he was merely fourteen .

at sixteen , he signed with the arizona diamondbacks as an international free agent for a $1.7 million singing bonus . that was when he left his life behind to pursue his dreams . his mother moved out with him .

cue several years of consistent training , hard - work , and so on .

he competed in the yankees’ spring training at 21 and soon after made his debut for the team .

last year , he lost his mother . it was an earth - shattering loss . his only family . cue the grief , and the guilt of not seeing her enough , and the losing himself a bit .

it was the same year he endured a significant shoulder injury , putting him out for the season . now , saint was never one to dabble in certain vices , but the pain of losing his mother , coupled with the physical pain of his injury and emotional pain of not being able to play something that brought him solace , was trying . he began to abuse his prescription painkillers .

it took an intervention from his friends and fellow players for saint to come to his senses and promptly enrolled in rehab .  though , the general public is unaware of this . as far as they know , saint has not been playing due to his injury and the physical therapy that followed .

he was brought back onto the team this past spring .

                                                                                  OTHER TIDBITS / PERSONALITY .

complete , and utter sweetheart . always does his damndest to do right by people . maybe to a fault . people tend to walk all over him . can be a bit naïve .

fiercely loyal to his family .

a charmer and he knows it . sweet guy , but not the best at romantic relationships . he tends to put his career above all else , which was proved to be an issue for romantic prospects .

[pemini]

UNREALITY: System Failure | 4:01 PM

「 Chapter One 」

⇢ Word count: 1,064

⇢ Genre: horror, angst, interactive

⇢ Warnings: none

⇢ Members: Jaemin, Jeno, Renjun

> BACK

> NEXT

> SETTINGS

> USER #JAEMIN HAS ENTERED UNREALITY_SERVER1

> 4:01PM

< Hello, #JAEMIN! Welcome to Unreality, enjoy your stay! >

Jaemin could see the colour of time. When he opened his eyes, greeted by the light blue hues breezing into the room he found himself in, he knew it was 4PM. He was in his bedroom, he designed it specifically for the game. It was more spacious than his real bedroom. Much emptier. It only held a bed, a dresser, and a small couch. He shivered despite the warmth of the interior and took a mental note to redecorate. 

Everything was so perfect, it was wrong. The light spilled from the window in consecutive beams, illuminating every corner of the room. The view were of houses just like Jaemin’s. Identical, in fact. The same pastels and perfectly mowed lawns. Jaemin tried to brush off his uneasiness. It was a game. Games are created by humans. Humans are used to imperfection, but crave the opposite, its only natural to eliminate all imperfections in a game thats main goal is to put your perfect world on a platter for your enjoyment.

Jaemin had convinced his best friends, Jeno and Renjun, to buy Unreality. All three of them were devoted gamers, always up to date on new video games and technology. They’d form an obsession over whatever game everyone would be raging over and play it religiously until a new game took its spot on the charts. Everything was temporary, and they’d expected Unreality to be the same. 

> Jaemin, two unknown users are knocking on your door. Choose your action carefully.

> OPEN THE DOOR

> IGNORE

Jaemin’s brows furrowed at the usage of the word “carefully”, knowing Jeno and Renjun were the ones at the door. They planned to meet up and explore the town the three of them chose to live in on the game. Although, the game’s rules and reminders section did strike him as strange, coming off as too aggressive of a ‘stranger danger!’ warning for a life simulation game. 

“Open the door.” He replied, as he left his room in search for the entrance of his house. He quickly found the front door, living room and kitchen. They were just as empty as his bedroom. The in-game choices were voice controlled, leaving space for misunderstanding, so Jaemin braced himself for the opposite his orders.

> #JAEMIN chose to OPEN THE DOOR.

“Took you long enough” Renjun chuckled as he stepped into Jaemin’s home, Jeno by his side. “I expected your house to be more, colourful?” He muttered as he looked around, his eyes eventually landing on the fridge and his body following.

“So, how’re you liking it here so far?” Jeno questioned before throwing himself at the navy blue couch situated in the middle of the living room. Jaemin sat next to him and rested his head on his shoulder. A headache was forming in the back of his head.

“I don’t know, I don’t think I like this town. It’s too quiet. And empty. And there are no people walking their dogs, what’s up with that?” He knew it was too early to form a conclusive opinion, but he was so used to the barking of his neighbour’s dogs, the birds, the loud children who’d come out to play at 5PM (5PM is an opalescent orange, with shy yellows and a barely there blue in harmony every so often) and the occasional conversation he’d hear from outside his window once someone was passing by, that the silence was unsettling. The town was too quiet. The clock was ticking. There was a flicker of orange that he would have missed if he hadn’t practiced not to. 

“The game’s new, there aren’t that many players yet.” Said Jeno, closing his eyes. “You’re gonna regret complaining about the quiet when everyone in town has three parties daily.”

“Open your eyes you loaf, you sleep all day in real life, I’m not letting you sleep that much in fake life, too.” Jaemin teased, repeatedly poking at Jeno’s cheeks. Instead of a swat of the hand or a death glare, he received a whiny “I miss my cats”.

“Yo, what do you need twenty whole cups of iced coffee for?” Jaemin’s head shot up, turning to look at Renjun, who was rummaging through the fridge.

“He’s addicted.” Answered Jeno, who’s eyes were still closed. Jaemin had already made his way to the fridge and chugged down half a cup of coffee, Renjun staring at him with his jaw wide open the entire time. “I wonder if there’s a rehab center here and if they offer help for caffeine addicts.”

“I wonder if marriage to a beverage is legal here.” Sighed Jaemin, which only made Renjun’s jaw drop further. Jaemin placed his hand under Renjun’s chin and shut his mouth for him, making Renjun reach his arm out and begin to choke him as they both laughed. 

“Shit, what time is it?” Asked Jeno, eyes frantically scanning the room as he stood up. 

“Like, 4:15, I think.” Replied Jaemin, banging at Renjun’s arm which was still wrapped around his neck. “Why?” 

“There’s some sort of questionnaire all players have to do at the town square. I don’t remember what it’s for, probably game preferences or about our experience so far?” Jeno recalled, he joined the two boys at the fridge. “We have to be there in half an hour.” 

“We could leave in the next twenty minutes and make it on time, but I kinda wanted to check out the area before it got too dark.” Pondered Renjun as he grabbed a cup of coffee from the fridge. He took a sip, his eyes widened and he stifled a cough before shoving the drink into Jeno’s hands and running to the sink, spitting the drink out. “Jaemin, what the fuck is wrong with your coffee?” He panted, only to see the boy in question slapping at his knee as he doubled over with laughter. Jeno took a sip of the drink, slightly choking before forcing himself to swallow it down.

“Well, that’s satan’s nectar.” Jeno coughed, making Jaemin wheeze louder. 

“It’s the eight shots of espresso.” Said Jaemin as he caught his breath and attempted to regain his posture.

“You really do need rehab.” Replied Jeno. “Anyway, do you guys wanna leave now and check out the town or stay here and leave in half an hour?”

What should Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun do?

> STAY HOME

> LEAVE NOW

- Some options reveal secrets that may be useful in the future. The secret score is currently 0/?. The secret score will be updated in the beginning of each chapter, based on how many secrets were collected in the past chapters.

-  The voting links for STAY HOME and LEAVE NOW have been deleted, as voting time is now over.

[rpgsandbox]

This is Spire: a mile high city, crumbling from within and without. A metropolis that splits the sky where a thousand gods vie for dominance, where red-mawed sacred hyenas stalk the streets and eat the dead, where a great cursed train network punctures the flesh of the city and bleeds unreality into the stonework, where cruel and beautiful high elves rule from glittering palaces and dark elves, subjugated, worship an illegal goddess and plot revenge and rebellion.  

Spire is a roleplaying game, and Strata is the first full-length physical sourcebook for Spire.

                                        Mock-up of the book

Strata is the ice-rimed carpeted streets of Amaranth where high elf dilettantes fund revolutionary cells for sport. Strata is being blessed by the Spire Herself and watching, helpless, as ash-grey roses burst from your skin. Strata is a pulp author with a gun who knows the occult power of purple prose. Strata is a drow so deep in service to the goddess they have burned their identity on a funeral pyre as tribute to her.  

Strata is rescuing thirty drugged and mutilated drow from a wicked sculptor-surgeon. It is fighting for what little you’ve got when the police try to take it away from you. It is stumbling blind through the backstreets of Pilgrim’s Walk, hoping your handler doesn’t sell you out to your enemies as a bargaining chip.  

Strata is higher highs and lower lows. Strata is the next evolution of Spire, digging deeper into the secrets of the city, and offering more ways to fight for what you believe in.

     Representatives of the noble houses of Destera, Aliquam and Quinn

WHAT IS STRATA?

Strata is a full-length, full-colour, hardback sourcebook for the Spire RPG. (If you’d like to learn more about Spire, you can check out the summary on our website, or listen to Rusty Quill's actual play series of the system. In short: you play a cell of dark elf revolutionaries caught up in a secret war against your high elf colonisers in a weird, labyrinthine metropolis.)

It contains:

Five scenarios. (At least!) Written by a mix of established and new authors, these campaign frames and adventures for Spire are written with the system and setting in mind. They’re evocative, inspiring, and most importantly open-ended, allowing gamesmasters to weave their own narratives within the boundaries presented. (You can learn more about the scenarios below.)

The Inksmith class. The Inksmith is a black-market, black-magic occultist who channels the power of pulp fiction into spells. They can knock out adversaries with a single haymaker, introduce schlocky details into the story, embody the fears of a community and, if things are moving slowly, magically summon a man holding a gun through the nearest available door.

The Shadow Agent class. Devotees of Our Hidden Mistress, the Shadow Agent risks their own identity to receive covers - semi-mystical fake identities that they can embody to further the revolution. At higher levels of power, they can “leave” injuries and madness in their cover identities, and put aside a broken leg as easily as shedding a disguise.

Lots of extra advances. We have rules for: all nine of the noble houses of the drow, giving players the chance to take on the role of disaffected aristocrats; playing a Druid of the Living Spire, and letting sacred plants grow through your skin; becoming a gazetteer and distributing illegal pamphlets through Spire; devoting your character’s sorcery to a particular artistic movement in Ivory Row, and more besides.

Reams and reams of setting info and plot hooks. More than 40,000 words of engaging writing on the highest and lowest parts of society in Spire, illustrating the volatile city that’s waiting for the players to show up and change it. Aelfir blinding parties, undercity folk tales, the secrets of Bound god-prisons, Silver Quarter heists, drug-dealing speakeasies, fashion, music, art, madness, magic, and ravenous, unknowable gods - they’re all here.

Full colour artwork by Adrian Stone. We’re lucky to work with Adrian Stone on Strata, as we did with Spire, and as you can see he’s continued to define the aesthetics of the city and its inhabitants. We’re offering A3 prints of his work as pledge rewards and add-ons, too.

THE SCENARIOS

Derelictus, where gangs of children guard the secret true name of the drow goddess

Strata will contain at least five scenarios - or more, depending on which stretch goals we hit - written in the same open-ended, improv-led style as our previous campaign frames such as Eidolon Sky or Kings of Silver. While some of our authors have experience in the RPG industry, some don't - we held an open call for submissions for content, and from over a hundred entries, these are the ones that really stood out to us as capturing the spirit of Spire. We're really excited to work with these authors and share their work with you.

The first five scenarios, included if we fund, are:

Line in the Dirt by Pauline Chan. The cell’s safehouse - and home - is in the god-forsaken district of Derelictus, amongst the lowest of the low. But as they wake up one morning, they discover that aelfir-owned companies are threatening to destroy their apartment block to make room for new housing, and evict them in the process. Can the players keep hold of what little space they’ve managed to mark as their own, or will their fellow residents sell them out for a chance at a better life?

The Forgotten by Laurence Phillips. The players aren’t Ministry operatives - instead, they’re people with disabilities who were, until recently, under the care of a kindly minister in the cut-throat district of Pilgrim’s Walk. When their guardian is abducted, it’s up to them to take matters into their own hands to find out what really happened - and try not to get exploited by the Ministry in the bargain.

Dark Harvest by Chris Farnell. The cell’s last job went wrong. So wrong, in fact, that the Ministry have shipped them off to a quiet backwater village in the Garden District until things calm down. But when an aelfir goes missing, the guard start knocking on doors, and the players must conduct a clandestine investigation to prove that they’re (sort of) innocent.

In the Garden District, valuable predatory moss is lured onto statues and farmed

Eye of the Beholder by Christine Beard. The height of fashion in aelfir society is to surgically modify a drow employee to make them more beautiful, useful, or graceful. In this scenario, perfectly suited to one-shots or a short series of linked games, the cell are tasked with extracting a group of drugged, mutilated dark elves from an eerie auction in one of Amaranth’s most elegant gardens, and bring the justice of the Ministry to the surgeon who scarred them.

Better the Devil by Grant Howitt & Chris Taylor. The drow noble house of Starys has long been accused of wickedness and cruelty - indeed, hundreds of years ago, most of the family line was drowned in the river that ran through the old drow city of Fathom as retribution for their crimes. But now they’re back, bringing strange and forgotten technologies, and they have their sights set on control of Spire. Will the players side with the newly-ascendant house, or will they be forced to find unusual allies to ensure that the aelfir aren’t replaced with an even worse class of oppressor?

All these scenarios, and all those unlocked as stretch goals, will be printed in the book and included in the PDF.

NEWSPAPERS

                                      Tim's mock-up of the newspaper

Tim Wilkinson Lewis, designer of the Spire maps and newspaper clippings from the previous Kickstarter campaign, will once again create in-character artefacts from the world of Spire - available at certain pledge levels (and as an add-on through Backerkit after the campaign has ended). This time he’s creating a full 12-page newspaper, riddled with the curiosities and weirdness that you’ve come to expect from him - and what’s more, the newspaper will act as an in-character handout that lends support to all of the scenarios contained within Strata. It’s the perfect companion for the book.

                  House Malrique are famed for their fortune-telling skills

              An aelfir souvain parades a gnoll prisoner of war in Amaranth

                                  Tim's ridiculously detailed map

Perch, nailed to the side of Spire, where the inhabitants worship the small gods in their ropes that bind them to the city

The Works, a knot of industry and toil, where drow sell illegal malak in crowded speakeasies

                 Representatives of house Gryndel, Valwa and Duval

Kickstarter campaign ends: Thu, November 15 2018 2:06 PM UTC +00:00

Website: Rowan, Rook and Decard

[worldticketsandhospitality]

Chelsea Vs Liverpool: Patrick Bamford names two Chelsea Football players he owns on fantasy football game

Leeds United’s Patrick Bamford has exposed that he retains Chelsea Football side duo Romelu Lukaku and Mason Mount on the popular Premier League Football unreal game this season.

Premier League admirers can get Premier League Football Tickets through our trusted online ticketing marketplace. Worldwideticketsandhospitality.com is the most reliable source to book Chelsea Vs Liverpool Tickets at exclusively discounted prices.

Bamford formerly had five years on the records at Stamford Bridge earlier in his profession, although most of that time was spent out on loan. The 28-year-old Leeds striker has shown devotion to his former club, though, by including two Chelsea Football Club men in his fantasy squad.

First of all, he’s chosen the popular Centre-forward Lukaku in his team. The 28-year-old has four goals in four games across all competitions since he was re-signed by the Chelsea Football club in the summer, so is a general selection.

Secondly, he’s included 22-year-old England teammate Mount. The attacking midfielder was away on international duty with Bamford during the freshest break. Bamford has communal the details of his team for a game that has terminated eight million players. To know more about Chelsea Football Tickets click here.

Chelsea Football manager Thomas Tuchel has so much talent within his squad that he can switch freely if he wants, but there are a few names that will surely start every Premier League Football game.  Aside from goalkeeper Edouard Mendy, some outfield players fall into that category. 

There will be horror from Blues supporters if new fan-favorite Lukaku drops down to the counter for a league match this campaign. It feels like everything that happens in the final third is built around him.  Meanwhile, Mount has been an ever-present for two years since his first-team breakthrough at the Bridge. However, his place may not be as fixed as Lukaku's. 

Mount will need to evoke his very best used to make sure he’s in the XI each week because he’s got competition from teammates Kai Havertz, Timo Werner, Hakim Ziyech, Christian Pulisic, and Callum Hudson-Odoi.

We are offering tickets for Premier League admirers can get Premier League Football Tickets through our trusted online ticketing marketplace. Worldwideticketsandhospitality.com is the most reliable source to book Premier League Football Hospitality and Premier League Packages & Sign Up for the latest Tickets alerts.

[your-dietician]

Jim Phelan's impact extended well beyond the basketball court | Sports

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/ncaa-basketball/jim-phelans-impact-extended-well-beyond-the-basketball-court-sports/

Jim Phelan's impact extended well beyond the basketball court | Sports

The basketballs still bounced in Memorial Gymnasium on the campus of Mount St. Mary’s University on Thursday evening less than 48 hours after the passing of legendary head coach Jim Phelan. The sneakers still squeaked, the jumpers were still on target, and the players still competed. The defending Northeast Conference Champions were competing in a mid-week pickup game in the old gym where Phelan had built the Mountaineer program. They competed just as hard as Phelan had coached for the 49 years he was the head coach on the beautiful campus just south of the Mason-Dixon line.

All of it just the way Coach would have wanted it.

Phelan won 830 games at the Mount in a career that spanned 49 years from 1954 until he retired after the 2002-03 season. Remarkable in any era and downright preposterous in today’s revolving door coaching world, Phelan coached them all at Mount. St. Mary’s. When Phelan took over in the spring of 1954, the program had won 471 games in its 45 seasons under 16 different head coaches. By the time Phelan coached his last game, the school had a basketball identity. The win total had nearly tripled under his guidance to 1,301.

At the time of his passing, no one has won more games at Mount St. Mary’s than Jim Phelan. That is not overly surprising considering he ranks 13th all-time on the NCAA wins list. But what I meant to say was that Jim Phelan has more wins at Mount St. Mary’s than everyone else – combined. His 830 victories are 112 more than the other 21 coaches have racked up.

Along the way, his teams reached the NCAA Division 1 Tournament twice, the NCAA Division 2 Final Four on five occasions, winning the national championship in overtime in 1962 over Sacramento State.

As mind-blowing as those numbers might be, they aren’t the most impressive numbers or the most important numbers. Those numbers lie in the 217 student-athletes that he coached and guided through the years. Doctors, lawyers, investment bankers, school administrators among them, many kept in close contact with Phelan throughout the years.

“I consider it one of the great blessings of my life,” former Mountaineer Tony Hayden said of playing for Phelan via telephone from his Philadelphia area home late this week. “I think his flexibility with people was something. He didn’t coach everyone the same way. He recognized some people needed more urging than others, and some you had to back off a little bit. He was a player’s coach.”

Phelan grew up in Philadelphia, had a standout career at LaSalle, and played briefly for the Philadelphia Warriors in the NBA before becoming a coach. His first coaching job was at his alma mater as an assistant for one season in 1953-54. LaSalle won the national championship that season. Phelan headed to Emmitsburg shortly after that and never left.

Hayden joined the team a year after the Mount made its first trip to the NCAA Big Dance, facing Kentucky in the NCAA Tournament the year before. In those press conferences before the tournament action, fans got to see a part of Phelan that Hayden thinks might have often been hidden, the fact that Phelan was “funny, really funny.”

His sense of humor was on display during the pre-tournament press conference. Matched up with the daunting task of playing the top-rated Wildcats, Phelan quipped, “Kentucky has ten McDonald’s All-Americans. I have ten guys that eat at McDonald’s.”

Always viewed as an offensive coach, players were more likely to earn a spot on the bench for the shot they failed to take rather than the one they missed.

Silas Cheung shot the 1995 team into the NCAA Tournament, lighting up Rider’s Alumni Gymnasium with 5 second-half trifectas en route to a 19-point NCAA bid NEC Tournament MVP producing effort.

“He’d say, ‘Silas, if you’re not going to shoot it, you might as well be next to me. That’s why you’re in there.” Cheung recalled.

Cheung also talked about a recent visit he shared with Phelan and his wife Dottie about a month and a half ago.

“He’s just so genuine. They both are just great people. Dottie is always so sweet. I am very thankful I got to see them recently.”

He recalled Phelan’s efforts and noted that he always made time for his players and that he led by example as much as with his words.

“He just wanted to make sure that he helped turn you into a good man, a good father, a good person. He helped you through things. If you fell, you got up. He always made sure he had the time for you,” Cheung said.

As word of Phelan’s death spread on Tuesday, many who knew him, played for him or against him, coached with him or on the opposite bench, took to social media to express their memories, sadness, and admiration for him. Among them was one of the Mount’s all-time greats Riley Inge, the starting point guard against Kentucky in that NCAA Tournament game. Inge shared a pair of stories that he had kept to himself until now about Phelan’s profound impact on his life. A summary of Inge’s Facebook post is included here with his permission:

Inge recalled that he joined the Mount mid-season during the school’s second semester and that he was joining classes midstream and, in some cases, continuations of first semester courses. He noted that his professors had concerns about the situation, and a meeting between Mount President Robert Wickenheiser, Phelan, himself, and various department heads occurred. He recalls being uncomfortable and feeling unwanted when Phelan says, “I get paid to coach and win basketball games. You all get paid to teach students. Riley’s a student here now. Teach him what he needs to know, and I guarantee you he will graduate with a degree from Mount St. Mary’s.”

The words gave Inge chills. He admits that at that moment, he had no intention of graduating. He was thinking about going to the NBA, having a productive career, and becoming a coach.

“But when he guaranteed my graduation, I felt like I couldn’t make him a liar and let him down.”

Inge graduated in 1998. Inge also noted that his graduation came two years after his eligibility expired but that Phelan made sure he had the opportunity even when he was no longer scoring baskets and winning games for him. A promise Inge said Phelan had made to his Inge’s mother. Inge concluded his post with the following,

I’m telling y’all he cared about his people and he was a special guy. If you were fortunate enough to know him or be coached by him, you were a lucky person. Again, thank you coach for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. — Inge

Regardless of ability, frequently walk-ons don’t get much playing time on a college basketball team. Without a Division 1 scholarship offer upon graduating from St. Joseph’s Prep in Philadelphia, Hayden received the same opportunity Phelan gave his players on scholarship — to earn his playing time. An option that might not have occurred with another coach. Hayden started from day one.

“He did things a little differently,” Hayden admitted. “He certainly charted his own course. Like with the bowtie.”

Ah, yes, the bowtie. Phelan’s signature bowtie. Out of respect for his college coach Ken Loeffler who wore a bowtie, Phelan wore a bowtie in his first game. The Mount won. So he wore it the next game. The Mount won again, and the tradition was born. He wore the bowtie for all but one season. He gave it up when his daughter said it was “gross”, but an uncharacteristic losing season brought the bowtie back the following year.

I always find that when you talk to coaches, particularly those nearing the end of their career or already done coaching, they remember the losses more than the wins. Those are the ones that are hard to shake. Phelan had a way of turning the page and moving on.

With Phelan that always seemed to be deeply tied to his love and devotion to his family. His wife Dottie and his five children have always been at the center of the equation for Phelan. It’s a fact that all of the players I spoke with in the recent days brought up.

Jamion Christian played for Phelan’s final three teams. Christian’s first head coaching job came at Mount St. Mary’s and he will enter his third season as the George Washington head coach this season. He said he attempts to bring many of the same things he saw with Phelan to his players.

“As a coach the way you live your life around your players and in front of your players is important. When you look at coach, the relationship he had with his family and the way he incorporated you within that family. He cared tremendously about you and cared about what was best for you. He would fight for that for you.” George Washington head coach Jamion Christian said.

My roots to the Mount are deep. Phelan’s 1981 team was a glorious group that hooked me. The offensive style and the excitement of Memorial Gymnasium, particularly the night of March 7, 1981 reeled me in. Two weeks shy of my 8th birthday, I was impressionable. And the sights that unfolded that evening were unreal.

Playing in the NCAA Division II South Atlantic Regional final against Elizabeth City State, the Mount saw a late lead evaporate and trailed by one with 2 seconds left and needed to go the length of the floor and score to survive and advance.

As Mark Purdy wrote in The Gettysburg Times on Monday following the win:

Coach Jim Phelan had a plan. So did (Dennis) Dempsey.

As the story goes, Dempsey wanted to attempt to draw a foul on the inbounds play by getting the defender to run into him. Phelan was simply designing a play to hope that a half-court heave fell in. Dempsey, who had unsuccessfully tried the play in practice earlier in the week, convinced Phelan it was worth a whirl. He was right. The Elizabeth City State defender plowed into Dempsey and the referee called the foul. Dempsey calmly made both free throws and a devastated ECSU team called a timeout it didn’t have. The Mount made more free throws and ran out the clock.

“We didn’t call the play. He called the play,” Phelan said of the heroics afterwards.

That made me a Mount fan.

But it’s that family culture that has kept me. A culture of family that Jim Phelan used to build his basketball program. It’s something that every individual I’ve talked to about Phelan in the last few days has at the front of their minds.

A family culture that is truly special. A family culture that is truly infectious. A family culture set in motion by a Hall of Famer in every way. A family culture that will continue.

“Our family culture is something that has been passed down at the Mount,” current head coach Dan Engelstad said on Friday. “Coach Phelan passed that down to Coach (Milan) Brown and gave him his blessing and he in turn passed that down to me. The family dynamic has always been important here. I want to keep that. Because a closer family makes for a more enjoyable journey. I want to make him proud, not just in words, but in the way I live it.”

Someday, and it might be sooner than later based on what I saw in that pickup game, the Mount will win for the 1,661st time in school history. With that win, all of the other coaches will finally have more wins than Jim Phelan.

As Mount St. Mary’s fans, we’ll do what we do with wins.

We’ll put a bowtie on it and remember how we got there.

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New Post has been published on All about business online

New Post has been published on http://yaroreviews.info/2021/04/fortnites-mastermind-goes-to-battle-with-apple

Fortnite's Mastermind Goes to Battle With Apple

The billionaire behind one of the most successful videogames of all time came to view Apple Inc. AAPL 1.80% as an existential threat to his dream of the future. So Tim Sweeney decided to fight. He gave his dispute with the world’s biggest company a code name: Project Liberty.

The clash was a bold gambit from a man who built an empire around “Fortnite,” the online multiplayer shooter game filled with cartoonish characters that became a phenomenon beloved by teenagers around the world. The ambition of Epic Games Inc.’s chief executive was that Fortnite’s legions of devoted young fans could turn it into a thriving social network, and help realize his vision of the “metaverse,” a shared virtual world where people might one day live, work and hang out.

Mr. Sweeney saw Apple as a central roadblock to that vision, according to people familiar with his thinking and documents unveiled in a recent court proceeding, because of the iPhone maker’s tight control over how people access “Fortnite” and any other mobile apps from Epic. Apple’s App Store takes a 30% cut of Epic’s revenue from those users.

Epic circumvented Apple’s fees and rules last August by introducing its own system for processing user purchases into mobile versions of “Fortnite.” It also prepared for a larger legal and public-relations campaign, complete with a video mocking a legendary Apple ad and the social-media hashtag #FreeFortnite.

“You’ll enjoy the upcoming fireworks show,” Mr. Sweeney said in an email to an ally at Microsoft Corp. on the eve of the plan’s launch. Apple made that email public in a court filing, along with other emails and witness testimony cited in this story.

Epic hoped to draw the company into a larger conflict, the court documents show. Once Apple and Alphabet Inc.’s Google booted “Fortnite” from their app stores, Epic responded by suing both companies.

The fate of Epic’s fight has widespread implications for the entire technology world. It could help determine everything from how much revenue app developers are able to keep to how exposed Apple could be to potential antitrust violations. Apple has rejected claims it has monopoly power, saying that Epic broke the terms of a contract and engaged in a smear campaign.

A resolution could be drawing near. Starting May 3, the dispute goes to trial before federal Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers in Oakland, Calif. The judge must decide whether Apple is misusing its power to quash competition or if Epic is merely trying to break its contract with the iPhone maker to boost its bottom line.

Save the world

The man at the center of this clash is a 50-year-old programmer who prefers an office uniform of cargo pants and T-shirts. He eschewed the clubby confines of Silicon Valley to locate Epic’s headquarters just outside of Raleigh, N.C. Mr. Sweeney’s previous dealings with other technology companies showcase his instincts for big and prolonged fights, as well as an eye for strategy. The Maryland native is worth more than $9 billion, according to Bloomberg’s Billionaires Index.

The man who is taking on Apple prefers an office uniform of cargo pants and t-shirts. Here he is pictured in Epic’s offices in 2019.

Photo: Jeremy M. Lange for The Wall Sweet Journal

He launched Epic from his parents’ basement at age 20 in 1991 and evolved his company from solely building games for PCs to include those for videogame consoles and smartphones. In 2012, he sold a 40% stake of his company to Tencent Holdings Ltd. , in part to tap the Chinese tech giant’s expertise in mobile gaming and wringing money from users through small purchases known as microtransactions. (Mr. Sweeney remains Epic’s largest shareholder.) Epic also owns the video-chat app Houseparty and makes the Unreal Engine, a suite of software tools for developing games and producing special effects for television shows, movies and other types of digital content.

Epic’s biggest hit started with the 2017 launch of “Fortnite: Save the World,” then a $40 game for up to four players to fight zombies and build forts. A few months later, after disappointing results, Epic offered up a new, free-to-play mode called “Battle Royale,” in which 100 players duke it out until only one combatant or squad remains. It later sold virtual currency that players could use to acquire in-game perks such as an outfit to make their avatars appear as a Marvel Comics superhero.

To build the community, since only a small percentage of players make such purchases, Epic pushed console makers to allow users of one machine to play “Fortnite” with users of another machine, in what would be an industry first for all three major videogame systems. That meant a PlayStation player could join a match with a friend on Microsoft’s Xbox or Nintendo Co. ’s Switch.

Microsoft and Nintendo had shown a willingness for such cross-platform play. Sony Group Corp. balked.

In the fall of 2017, Epic updated its software that briefly allowed a Sony PlayStation “Fortnite” player to compete against someone on Microsoft’s Xbox. It pulled that function back, saying it was a mistake, after online chat boards lighted up with excitement. Seeing what was possible, gamers demanded more. Players cast Sony as the villain on social media with hashtags such as #blamesony and #notfortheplayers, a harbinger for the Apple dispute.

As Sony internally debated its position, executives were worried about exposure of its consumer-behavior data and competitors taking an unfair share of their business, according to people familiar with the talks. They felt Epic had backed them into a corner and worried that finicky gamers would turn on them, the people said.

Following months of negotiations, Sony relented. Asked about it afterward, Mr. Sweeney described it simply as “an effort in international diplomacy.” Since then, the Tokyo-based company has twice invested in Epic, having most recently contributed around $200 million in a funding round that valued Epic at $28.7 billion. A spokesman for Sony declined to comment.

Mr. Sweeney’s hardball tactics with Sony helped him usher in cross-play across videogame consoles, personal computers and Apple and Android devices.

All hands on deck

The relationship with Apple was cordial for its first decade. In March 2018, “Fortnite” was launched on Apple’s App Store. A year later, Mr. Sweeney was at the annual Game Developers Conference celebrating how cross-play had helped the game grow to almost 250 million players world-wide – a smashing success. Apple’s managers were happy to help promote the new hit, offering technical and marketing assistance to Epic.

Mike Schmid, head of Apple’s games business development for the App Store, helped oversee the “Fortnite” rollout and several updates. In a court statement, he described an “all-hands-on-deck treatment to address Epic’s non-stop asks, which frequently involved middle-of-the-night calls and texts demanding short-turnaround.”

To manage the work, he assigned someone in Australia so Apple could provide 24-hour coverage.

Mr. Sweeney located Epic’s headquarters far from Silicon Valley, to a spot outside Raleigh, N.C. The offices are pictured here in 2019.

Photo: Jeremy M. Lange for The Wall Sweet Journal

The relationship described by Apple in court papers differs greatly from the experiences detailed by other developers on Apple’s iOS mobile operating system. Smaller software makers have complained about what they perceive as Apple’s seemingly arbitrary rules and mercurial ways.

With Epic, Apple appeared to go out of its way to help the gamemaker establish itself on the platform. Mr. Schmid said Epic employees had told him Apple represented just 7% of its revenue. He couldn’t be reached for comment through Apple.

“On a variety of occasions, Epic personnel have told me that if Apple did not comply with its demands, Epic would simply terminate its relationship with Apple and remove its games off the iOS platform,” Mr. Schmid said in court records. A core part of Apple’s antitrust defense is that Epic’s games are available on a variety of tech companies’ platforms, not just Apple’s.

By early 2020, “Fortnite” was showing signs of aging, although popularity for online games can sometimes ebb and flow due to new seasons or features. The privately held company doesn’t disclose financial records but app-analytics firm Sensor Tower Inc. estimates global consumer spending within “Fortnite” on Apple devices had fallen in the first quarter of last year to $70 million from a peak of almost $180 million in the third quarter of 2018. Epic Chief Financial Officer Joe Babcock, who departed the company in early 2020, said it expected the trend to continue, according to a deposition he gave cited by Apple. Mr. Babock couldn’t be reached for comment.

Epic disputes the notion that “Fortnite” was waning in popularity, as the company in May 2020 said it had reached 350 million registered accounts.

Epic said in May 2020 it had reached 350 million registered ‘Fortnite’ accounts, up from 250 million a year earlier.

Photo: cristobal herrera-ulashkevich/EPA/Shutterstock

Epic hatched a plan, according to court records citing a board presentation, to revive interest in “Fortnite” beyond its seasonal updates and occasional music performances and movie screenings that people experience together in a virtual setting. Epic would turn to third-party developers to create new content for “Fortnite,” essentially turning it into an open platform unto itself.

But for this new plan to work, the company needed to find a way it could afford to compensate its would-be partners. Apple’s 30% share, the presentation concluded, was an “existential issue” for its plan and needed to be cut so Epic could share a majority of the profit with creators.

The battle begins

Last spring Epic began sharpening its plan to wrest itself from Apple’s fees and control. Its team investigated ways to surreptitiously add an alternative payment system to the versions of “Fortnite” on Apple and Google’s app stores, according to court records. By May Epic decided it would deploy the new system through a so-called hotfix, an important software update usually reserved for security bugs, records show, and do so just before the debut of the game’s new season.

Epic executives initially considered targeting Google alone, according to court records citing internal emails. But later they decided to include Apple, which in time would become the focus of the effort.

From an early stage, the plan depended on Epic’s payment system being rejected, read an email between Epic executives disclosed in court records. At that point: “The battle begins. It’s going to be fun!”

Epic co-founder Mark Rein predicted there was a greater than 50% chance Apple would immediately remove “Fortnite” from its platforms, according to an Epic employee deposition cited in court records. “They may also sue us to make an example.” Mr. Rein declined to comment.

While it worked on the technical attack, Epic also planned to cut prices on certain items in the console and PC versions of “Fortnite” by 20%— essentially creating a reason for players to eschew the mobile alternative offered by Apple.

But first, Epic would go to the front door and ask a favor of Apple and Google: The company wanted permission to run its own competing store and payment system.

In a late June email to Apple CEO Tim Cook, according to court records, Mr. Sweeney sought an exemption from App Store rules. Most important, he wanted to stop paying Apple’s 30% fee.

Apple rejected the request in a July 10 letter, laying out many of the same arguments it would make in defending itself against the eventual Epic lawsuit. Epic had other ways to sell its game, Apple’s lawyer added, as well as noting Epic collects royalties from games built on its software.

“Yet somehow, you believe Apple has no right to do the same, and want all the benefits Apple and the App Store provide without having to pay a penny,” the letter concluded. “Apple cannot bow to that unreasonable demand.”

‘Fortnite’ became a phenomenon beloved by teenagers around the world. Here fans cheer during the 2019 ‘Fortnite’ World Cup inside Arthur Ashe Stadium in New York City.

Photo: johannes eisele/Agence France-Presse/Getty Images

Mr. Sweeney on July 17 responded with another email to Mr. Cook and others calling the response a “self-righteous and self-serving screed.” He promised to “continue to pursue this, as we have done in the past to address other injustices in our industry.”

Behind the scenes, Epic’s Project Liberty team met regularly and devised a way to present their plan to a judge and the public. The team included as many as 200 Epic staffers, outside lawyers and public-relations advisers. It developed an argument that Apple violated antitrust laws with its requirements that all apps offered on its iPhones and iPads go through its App Store and that all purchases of digital content go through the tech giant’s in-app purchase system.

It wasn’t a unique gripe. Other app makers, including Netflix Inc. and Spotify Technology SA, have also butted heads with Apple on its slice of fees and control. Apple says the walled mobile-software garden it built in 2008 is now responsible for more than a half-trillion dollars in commerce.

Epic’s team worried it wouldn’t be a sympathetic character in a public fight and that gamers would blame the company if Apple and Google ultimately decided to yank “Fortnite.” So it strategized on how to bring in additional companies, including smaller, sympathetic developers, to advocate for its cause, records say. It also studied past Apple responses to major public fights, focusing on its battle with the Federal Bureau of Investigation over demands to create a backdoor into the iPhone of a shooter in a 2015 terrorist attack in San Bernardino, Calif. The controversy subsided when the government found an alternative way into the device.

The Epic team concluded that Apple could be thin skinned when it came to its public image. “Nothing moves Apple to change other than notable consumer pressure,” an Epic memo noted.

Share your Thoughts

Do you think Apple is misusing its power to quash competition? Why or why not? Join the conversation below.

As August approached, Epic’s board of directors was briefed on the project’s final pieces in a presentation dubbed “battle plan.” By this point, the board was told, Epic had spent time helping form the Coalition for App Fairness, an advocacy group, to support its crusade and it tested the payment system that would eventually be uploaded to Apple’s and Google’s app stores.

Mr. Sweeney sent emails to Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo alerting them to the upcoming price changes in “Fortnite,” a prelude to the “fireworks show.”

On Aug. 13, he lighted the fuse. “Epic will no longer adhere to Apple’s payment processing restrictions,” Mr. Sweeney wrote at about 2 a.m. in an email to Apple. Hours later, Epic flipped the switch on the new payment system and a public-relations campaign to rally gamers to its fight.

Project Liberty was in play.

Apple and Google both booted the game by day’s end, springing the second part of Epic’s plan: a legal battle.

A trial date hasn’t been set in Epic’s lawsuit against Google, though the situation is distinct. Devices that run Google’s Android operating system can download software from other app marketplaces in addition to the Google Play store. Google has said that Epic violated its app store’s policies as well, which are designed to keep it safe for users.

In the months after its lawsuit, Epic pursued complaints with regulators around the world and supported lobbying efforts among statehouses and Congress for changes that would crimp Apple’s power. It also released an online video that echoed Apple’s famous 1984 ad, a nod to George Orwell’s dystopian novel, that framed the computer maker as the underdog against the then-mighty IBM.

This time around, the image of a televised Big Brother was replaced by one of a talking Apple wearing glasses similar to those of Mr. Cook. The call to action at the end read: “Join the fight to stop 2020 from becoming ‘1984.’ ”

Write to Tim Higgins at Tim.Higgins@WSJ.com and Sarah E. Needleman at sarah.needleman@wsj.com

Copyright ©2020 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 87990cbe856818d5eddac44c7b1cdeb8

[deehollowaywrites]

A serendipitous confluence of events occurred over the past several days when one of my favorite television shows returned with an unexpected side character, the AWP writing conference took over downtown Tampa, and three Kentucky Derby preps ran, including a much-contested San Felipe Stakes.

If these seem disjointed, know that horses are always--shall we say--the glue of my spiritual landscape.

A few friends who also watch the soapy, sneakily feminist Lifetime twist-buffet UnREAL admitted that they didn’t want to spoil my delight at the inclusion of a jockey character, however briefly poor, much-maligned Norman was onscreen (I assume my Twitter reaction delivered). The show, which is a dramatized take on the Bachelor empire of reality TV, attempted to lampshade the ingrained humor of a petite man trying to win the affections of a statuesque woman by having all the characters involved remark on this apparent absurdity. Producers Rachel and Quinn, Everlasting’s star Serena, and Norman all know he’s being played for giggles. A few heated conversations and a drunken bathroom tryst later, Serena cuts Norman from her lineup of possible future husbands. Knowing the show, he might pop up again, but I was sorry to see only one episode devoted to exploring this particular corner of heteronormative masculinity.

“So you’re a jockey jumper, then?” asks the protagonist of Jason Beem’s racetracker novel Southbound. The narrative elaborates, noting that most of the women one might reasonably class as race-rider groupies are “at least five foot seven,” and then moves onto the more pressing topic of whether the woman in question, beautiful and popular paddock host Maria, might shift her interest to the horseplayer protagonist. Despite the novel centering around various racetracks, jockeys rarely show up; there are 44 instances of the word in a 400-page novel. When jockeys do appear, they’re at a distance, on horseback or in the saddling paddock, and seen through a specific, borderline-hostile lens: that of the horseplayer who mistrusts riders. Jockeys are there to be yelled at by spectators, to “stiff” bettors, to do anything other than their jobs, and most saliently, they’re “notoriously horny little creatures” who can be trusted neither to ride their horses honestly nor remain faithful to their partners. Simultaneously sexualized by their in-group and unsexed by external observers, (male) riders are shrouded in layers of marginalization. How is it possible for a rider to be trite joke fodder in one context and erotically imposing in another? In both the universes of UnREAL and Southbound, jockeys fuck women but they’re not meeting the parents--the difference lies in admission, in context required for comprehension.

“I’m an elite athlete!” Norman protests, standing on his five-five dignity, and later, as it seems Serena might be opening up to him, starts a spiel about how his profession is misunderstood. But Serena is intent on hiding their hook-up once she’s sober again, the show’s narrative turning ambiguous as to whether her shame is rooted in poor decision-making, loss of control, or the fact that the guy giving it to her doggy-style was half her height. Meanwhile, Maria the paddock host is casual about dating or sleeping with riders; protagonist Ryan is the one with opinions about it, and so the reader’s attitudes are directed by this point of view. It’s normative but distasteful, where the cast and producers of Everlasting find the idea of a jockey romantic lead neither normative nor tasteful.

Readers of the nonfiction canon of Thoroughbred writing will see reference to a few superstars of the sport edging into popular consciousness as viable romantic heroes. These nearly always fit within a certain profile: white, blond, all-American. Steve Cauthen, Chris Antley, Gary Stevens. Norman of UnREAL is, of course, white. Observers might also note that the current lineup of rock-star jocks is heavily Latino. The sport relies on sexy imagery to sell itself as glamorous and attractive but limits this imagery to female spectators and participants, largely sidelining the appeal of male participants. Barbara Livingston’s infamous beefcake calendar notwithstanding, racing is shot for, marketed to, and discussed almost totally within the realm of the heteronormative male gaze. It’s impossible to untangle the overarching reputation of jockeys from their status within the sport, their concurrent location at its center and its fringes. Physically, according to UnREAL and the accepted romantic tropes it trades on, riders cannot fit the profile of a romantic lead (they might tick the box marked abs with a bullet but they’re--gasp!--short). According to Southbound, reams of five-foot-seven-and-above women are willing to set this deficit aside, and starfucking can’t always account for taste, since low-level Portland Meadows riders get their fair share too.

It’s almost like the height-gap trope beloved of romance enthusiasts only applies to tall men and short women. Who’da thunk?

My favorite panel out of the two days I attended AWP’s writing conference was “Shooters Gotta Shoot: Voice in Sports.” Never have I felt so understood by a bunch of strangers! Author and panelist Katherine Hill noted that football players talk a lot, an offhand comment that kicked the hamster wheel of my brain into high gear. Do jockeys talk? Not where horseplayers can hear them, usually. What they say is filtered through the lens of what the trainer wanted from the race, how the odds stacked up, whether their horse won or lost. Their voices are reduced and fragmented from intersecting angles:

English may be a second language;

The sport of racing itself is a niche one, replete with specific, exclusive vocabulary;

Secretiveness prevails on the backstretch, while the pop-media view of Thoroughbreds relies on tired images of corruption, rigging, and under-the-table deals;

The riders’ place within their sport is layered with uncertainty, from physical danger to the tentative handshake that confirms a mount or takes it away.

If certain trainers had their way, jocks wouldn’t talk at all and no one would request it of them. They would be emotional whipping boys for the losing horse, emotionless mannequins for the winner. Within the shelves of fiction, it’s also rare to hear a jockey speak, likeliest in the crime-novel aisle under Francis. On Harlequin’s website, a search for “football” returns 142 titles, while “baseball” gets 94 options and “hockey” 73. These are the Big Three of sports romance, with basketball, soccer, tennis, NASCAR/F1, and all Olympics-related sports making minor showings as well. Horse racing, when it shows up, falls largely into historical-romance settings--a scandalous duchess at Newmarket, a sheikh’s stable girl--or again in crime and suspense, with horse-theft plots and murdered barn managers. Trainers appear as romantic hero/ines almost to a fault; out of Harlequin’s 9 results for “jockey,” only 2 titles feature an actual Thoroughbred jockey, and both characters are female. While I’m always pleased to read (and write) about female jocks, I don’t find it cynical to assume that these books exist in part because short women are palatable and appealing romantic heroines, while short men are perceived as having Napoleon complexes or little-guy syndromes, and generally being 200 pounds of testosterone in a 115-pound body. So who gets the happily-ever-after? Viking-esque hockey hotshots, American-beefcake ball players, and any hero who falls within an appropriate, narrow conception of heterosexual masculinity. Whose voices are reflected and amplified within the larger field of sports fiction? Whose experiences are projected as normatively male and typically American? Whose bodies are portrayed and received as alluring and desirable, and whose are operating within a historic context of abuse, control, and ownership?

I ground up my nerve to ask a question in that “Voice in Sports” panel, which I rarely manage because I’m a shy doofus. After the panelists’ conversation shifted to the imperial "we” of sports fandom, I asked Hill and poet Jason Koo to discuss how the collective love of fans for their sport can turn toxic--how the boundary is transgressed, at what point possessiveness becomes ownership and how that in turn affects how players are permitted to speak. I was thinking, as I am always thinking, of the relationships between horseplayers, trainers, owners, and jockeys; of that word, owner, and racing’s intertwined history with slavery; of a sport built on the underpaid and sometimes unpaid labor of people of color; of the vitriol casually displayed on the apron, as two days later at Tampa Bay Downs I’d listen to a man next to me yell SHITHEAD! at Julien Leparoux in a post parade. I said that racing is my sport of choice, waited for someone to say that racing isn’t a sport. I said after the panel, thanking Hill and Koo for their remarks, that I write romance--that I have marginalized my own voice in my choice of sport to write about, and my choice of genre to frame that sport, and my choice of mostly queer characters to people that sport’s fictional world.

Nonetheless Javier Castellano has his better story, his voice triumphing over Mike Smith’s. Nonetheless I write on, delighted in the space in which I’ve found myself, continue to find myself.

It’s my job as a romance writer to depict race-rider leads and love interests as exciting, sexy, and appealing. It’s my pleasure as a racing fan to depict jockeys themselves as multifaceted, compelling, and human.