Tumgik
#he's really good at cooking for a big group
karmicpunishment · 2 months
Text
ranking hunting dogs by how well i think they can cook
tachihara. this might be a controversial rating but I do think the boy can cook. i mean with his ability he could multi-task a lot of the process at once. i don't think he's like a gourmet chef or anything but he's got a decent amount of recipes under his belt, and let's be honest, he totally had to learn to fend for himself cooking-wise. it was either learn or starve. whenever he spends time in the hunting dog base after a long time away he makes everyone a meal.
jouno. if he's in a kitchen that has the proper accessibility aides he's an even better cook than tachihara, but he struggles in unfamiliar spaces (understandably). he enjoys a lot of the technical processes of cooking and cares a lot about what goes into his food.
tecchou. okay hear me out here. tecchou is a perfectly fine chef in terms of the actual cooking. he can make rice and cook meat and chop vegetables, etc. he just has absolute dogshit taste in pairings and seasonings (as seen in canon). makes the most diabolical pairings.
fukuchi. this guy got shipped out to war at 18 and hasn't looked back since. too worried about the end of the world to learn how to cook rice. and he keeps accidentally chopping cutting boards into pieces with his ability.
teruko. love her to death, absolutely cannot cook to save her life. girl has never lived a life outside of being a soldier. she never saw the point in learning how to cook. tachihara offers to teach her a little and she nearly burns down their command center (she's secretly a little glad, she wants to keep eating his cooking). she is limited to only microwave use.
76 notes · View notes
ilydeku · 2 months
Text
izuku loves to talk about you during interviews
Tumblr media
- anything and every topic it will ALWAYS be about you
- the question won't even be remotely related to you and still izukus answer will revolve around "y/n, my wife!!" <3
- oh, the glint in his eyes, the peaking smile when he speaks about you, lover boyyy
- the media knows he LOVE LOVES you, they think it's funny for this big, confident, mighty hero to be reduced to sap when it comes to you
- it's like his whole is personality is HIS WIFE
- the journalists lowkey get so SICK of him for this, they don't want to invite him anymore 😭
- but they kinda have to, due to to his status as #1
"Good evening everyone and welcome Hero Talk! Tonight we'll be staring someone you all know and love, single handedly the greatest hero of all time, Deku! Alright, Deku how are you tonight?"
"Feeling pretty good! This is one of my wife's favorite shows, so I'm even more grateful to be here. And how are you?"
"Oh, same old. Really, just living. Now, we wanted to ask you some fun questions. Let's start with this one. Why did you want to become a hero?"
"Wow, haha! That really brings be back to my youth. When I was kid, my biggest influence was All Might, and he miraculously became my mentor. He was a good hero, and a good man. I wanted to be just like him: fearless, persevering, saving people with I smile. I would beg my mom everyday to watch this video on the computer of him saving a bunch a people. I was really swayed by All Might. I wanted to become a hero to make an impact in the world. I wanted to save people with a smile too."
"That sounds really endearing, Deku. I remember All Might's reign. He wasn't number one on the top charts all those years for nothing. So, did you ever think you'd be standing as Japan's top hero?"
"Well, it was never really my goal to become number one. That was Kacchan's- Dynamight's. My dream was, like I said, to become a hero and save others. But I have to say, it really is a blessing. I'd like to thank my Mom, All Might, my friends, and especially my wife for who I've become. My Mom has really done a lot for me growing up: protecting, encourage, and just always caring for me. All Might has kinda been that father figure for me when my Dad was away. My friends have shown me what it's like to work together and really be part of a heart. And my wife? Haha...I can't thank her enough for all the times she's been right by my side, even before we were together. Nothing I can say or do will ever be enough to express how much she means to me."
"Mm. Quite the supportive group. Your wife sounds like quite the lady!"
"She is. She's wonderful."
"Moving on to the next question, do you use social media often?"
"Occasionally, yes?? My wife uses it regularly, posting about us when we go out and stuff. It's mostly for her family to see how she's doing. She handles most of my official accounts. She says it's to be more appealing to the public, and I guess to show that there's more to heroes on the inside?? I'm not really sure, but I trust her process. Although, I'd rather be appealing to her alone."
"The public will always interested in a hero's private life! Now, Deku, what is your ideal setting of relaxation?"
"My wife doesn't like places that are too crowded or noisy, so maybe a cozy day at the beach?- but early in the morning or in the evening when the crowds calm down. Maybe a movie theatre, but days after the movie is released so it's just us together. Actually, a lazy day at home together is great too! Cooking meals and watching a movie on the couch? Really, any place is relaxing if my wife is with me."
(am i questioning Deku's wife or Deku!?) "How scenic! Those sound very fitting for you!! How about any restaurants?"
"Not really. My wife really knows how to cook, it's amazing! I love her home-cooked meals, so there's no way I'd go out of my way to a restaurant. But if my wife is feeling it, I'll be sure to make reservations."
"(sigh)"
"(smiling warmly)"
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
rubiehart · 4 months
Note
JJ and reader sneak away on the island of Poguelandia to get some… “alone time” iykwim
when obx3 first came out this was like my main scenario to sleep lol.. i love u nonnie
Tumblr media
all the pogues sit around the makeshift fire, faces illuminated and cheeks blushed from the heat, listening to cleo’s bizarre stories from before she fell in with all of you, but you’re not really listening.
you adjust yourself on the log you’d used for seating, digging your toes into the sun warmed sand as you eyes jj across the flames, he was focused on cooking whatever he’d caught that day, the only thing you were focused on was the way his biceps flexed, deep blues occasionally flitting over and meeting your own eyes before correcting himself when he realised he’d been caught, smirk playing on his lips.
you’d had this arrangement far before this misfortune, stranded on an abandoned island in the middle of nowhere. you’d sit on his work bench, watching him fix up his bike, popsicle slotted between your lips as you watched him. before he’d had enough for your teasing and bent you over the warm metal, denim shorts pulled down to your knees as he pounded into you.
but something had changed ever since you landed on the island, he was so much softer, kinder, a lot less demanding when he’d fuck you. he really took his time with you when he could, he’d make you feel so good, it didn’t happen as much as it used to back home, so you’d learned to appreciate it a lot more when it did.
you clinged onto his tan shoulders, outgrown fingernails digging into the muscle as he finger fucked you behind a tree, the squelch of your wet cunt the only sound heard as he clamped a ringed hand over your mouth, willing you to be quiet with praise as he hit that spot over and over again. his jaw clenched as he kept half on eye on pope and cleo not too far away collecting fruits for your breakfast, fixing you up and giving you a quick peck before sending you off back to the group, strolling back a few after you like nothing had happened.
that was last week, and he hadn’t even touched you since. to say you were desperate was an understatement. sure, the island was desolate but that didn’t mean it was big, and sneaking away to fuck yourself and risk getting caught wasn’t something you wanted to do. so you thought eye fucking was enough of a hint for him, spoiler, it wasn’t.
he kept you on the edge of your seat all night, he knew what he was doing and he loved the power. concealing his grin when he caught you discretely rub your thighs together whenever you’d look a him.
you got what you wanted soon enough, when everyone was pretty much knocked out on their makeshift leaf mattresses, stepping over john b cautiously as you made your way up the sandy bank where you knew he would be.
you were finally at peace when he had you splayed out against a large tree, legs spread around his his head, his matted blonde tresses tickling your inner thighs as he devoured you like a starved man. his cocky persona dropped as he practically begged for you, even though he already had you in your head.
“wanted to taste this fuckin’ pussy all day.” he mutters, tongue dipping into your clenching hole as he brings two fingers up to steadily rub at your clit, your back arching beautifully against the rough bark of the tree, hand forcefully gripping his hair and keeping him right where you wanted him.
“strutting around in that little top, you dunno’ what you do to me, infront of all our fuckin’ friends.” he admits, skilled fingers punching your g-spot, a loud moan leaving your lips as your climax approached, immediately recoiling back into yourself as the sound echoes over the extensive ocean surrounding you, hoping your friends didn’t hear.
jj sensed your sudden shyness and tapped your thigh, one hand shaking up to grasp at your boob, calloused thumb teasing your nipple as he circles your throbbing but with his tongue. “nah- let it all out, wanna hear how good i make you feel.”
“yeah- gooooood girl. you got it.”
895 notes · View notes
cashmoneyyysstuff · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
chapter 1 : the loser in the seat next to you.
Tumblr media
no quirk au, mentions of fighting and violence, the yakuza and my very little knowledge of it, privates schools..i have no experience w them, gang violence, found family trope my love, crime syndicate boss daughter! reader, badboy bodyguard! katsuki x fem reader, sunshine reader, reader cries and is shy around new ppl, hurt/BIG comfort, CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LUVERS TROPE MY STAR, almost polar opposites, jealous katsuki, reader has a last name but it will be explained later, original characters, izuku catches many strays i promise i lub him yall, touchy katsu touchy reader, slight romantic tension ouuuu, mentions of food n cooking, lemme know if i missed sum (might add more in future chapters !)
a/n : BIG 4K CHAPTER RAGHHH TYSM!!
Tumblr media
katsuki cannot remember a single time prior to living with you that anybody had taken care of him.
he thinks his parents might’ve. he doesn’t care to remember them and it’s not like he could, he was a baby when they’d dropped him off in the shithole he called home for eleven years, but at the very least they’d tried to drop him off somewhere where he could’ve had another chance. where he could’ve been taken in by different people and were his circumstances different he could’ve ended up being someone else’s son with someone else’s last name.
but he’s not. and that’s the most care he’s been shown.
his caretakers, and he uses the term loosely, seemed to think that as long as he stayed alive, that as long as he had food is his belly and water to drink he was taken care of enough. and to be fair, katsuki thought that was enough for him too, cus he didn’t know anything else.
alliances and groups were always formed with ulterior motives in mind. associate yourself with someone stronger than you so you could stay on their good side, get in the stronger people’s good graces and rat out the ones lagging behind so you wouldn’t be left alone. they were always for protection but never a mutual one.
and that’s why he didn’t like being in groups, the thought of not knowing what all these other people who claim to be on your side truly think about you made katsuki nervous. trust was for losers like tadashi, some moron who always talked big shit just because he was apart of some well known group in town. only for him to get a tooth knocked out by one of his squad mates and ever since that day no one ever heard him speak again and everyone called him no tooth tadashi.
trust was for idiots, and katsuki was far from one. so he pushed people away, he kicked and stomped and broke people who thought they could use him for their own protection. because if there’s one thing he hates it's when people use him.
trust was for morons and protection was for weaklings, he didn’t need anyone to take care of him. he didn’t even know how to, but if this was it he didn’t want any part of it.
it’s about 9 am and you’re still in bed. katsuki thanks his lucky star because he’s sure if you ever caught him watching mr. nakazawa cook he’d never hear the end of it. and then he’d have to stop watching because you’d insist he wake you up at the same time as him.
he doesn’t know what’s being made but from the smell alone he can tell it’ll be delicious. he can’t see too well what’s happening, only being able to see and hear some rhythmic cutting and the sizzling of a pan.
“you could come over here if you wanna get a closer look,” katsuki jumps at the man’s voice, his eyes widen but he tentatively steps inside of the kitchen.
“how’d you know i was here ?” he asks quietly, the white haired man smiles knowingly, his eyes not leaving the pan in front of him.
"i've got really sharp senses on me." his hands aren't stopping in their motions, katsuki wonders how skilled you have to be to make two different motions with your hands, he can't do it.
"they're important when you're cooking, you gotta know which spices to use, make sure ya don't burn anythin'.." katsuki listens intently as the chef talks, eyes drifting towards the pan. karage pops and crackles, two omurices lay sizzling on another pan. one for you and one for him and katsuki feels his chest tingle, he still needs to remind himself the feeling isn't a bad one despite the burn he feels.
there are some fruits for dessert sitting on the side still uncut, katsuki recognizes your favourite sitting amongst them. "if you want, you could help me out. i'm kinda in need of a hand since 'im being overworked by the big boss." mr. nakazawa's voice cuts through katsuki's train of thought, he sighs like he's exhausted but there's a slight smile on his face.
katsuki looks towards the hallway before looking back at the older male "mr. matsumoto already left, though ?"
"it's miss yn i'm talkin' about, the kid can be a real handful. you wouldn't believe how much food she has me make !" he jests, and katsuki snorts to himself when he comments about how your stomach was a black hole, he agrees.
"so," the cook nudges katsuki slightly "wanna help me out ?"
and usually, katsuki doesn't help anybody, and if he somehow does it's not unless he can get something from it. so he doesn't understand why he nods so eagerly. he hates when people order him around, he never listens to what anyone has to say yet he carries you on his back when you ask and he listens immediately when mr. nakazawa asks him to go wash his hands first. he follows his instructions on how to cut the fruit properly and his end up looking a bit wonky, but mr. nakazawa tells him it's a start and he'll do better next time. next time..
katsuki's never had anybody take care of him, but his chest tightens and he thinks this might be it.
you wake up a little bit later, rubbing sleepily at your eyes only for them to bulge when you see him and mr. nakazawa in the kitchen. said man claps katsuki's back and proudly exclaims to you that katsuki had cut up the fruit you were eating. your favourite ones. katsuki feels his ears burn and he looks away, he doesn't understand why the older man is so happy and boasting about something he himself didn't do. he doesn't understand why you don't comment on how wonky your fruits looked compared to the one's the chef had chopped. instead you ask him if it's true, if he'd really cut these for you. so he nods because katsuki hates lying, cheeks and ears burning. you beam and continue eating, thanking him and mr. nakazawa for all their hard work as you happily munch away.
katsuki finally sits down next to you getting his own portion of food. he didn't get to help out much today, but he's determined to wake up earlier tomorrow so he can cook even more and cut up even more fruits for you. so he can learn to make them less wonky and have mr. nakazawa teach him more so you can enjoy more and more of the food he's made.
katsuki's never taken care of anyone because nobody ever cared for him. but he thinks that this might be it.
Tumblr media
the first day katsuki ever goes to school, he decides he already hates it with a passion.
school itself isn't really hard. sure, it's his first day, but it's super easy. and most of the teachers are nice to him, even though he doesn't need them to be since he's had way worse. he just doesn't like the looks he gets. there's too many people in one class, all looking at him because he's new. he feels like some kind of zoo animal.
they're probably looking at him because of the stink eye he has and the glares he shoots at his new classmates. you'd told him once that some people might be scared of him because of his looks--and that was completely fine with him. he'd much rather stay in his comfort zone. he doesn't want people to look at him curiously, he wants the only reason people look at him to be out of weariness of him, like if they were to look away for even a second he'd pounce on them. he likes that.
you're the complete opposite though. katsuki thinks it's weird that you do such a big 180 when you see new people. your dad had told him that this would be both your first days since you'd been homeschooled until then. you cling to him the entire day and he doesn't mind it 'cus you always do, but you're quiet. you aren't chatty and bratty like you always are. you sit next to him quietly during breaks and at one point you don't come back from the bathroom and katsuki, who had been waiting for you ( he can't just run off, he is your bodyguard after all) gets tired of waiting and makes his way over to the girls bathroom, getting some strange looks but he doesn't care. only to stop dead in his tracks when he hears sniffling.
you're crying.
katsuki doesn't take care of people, he doesn't help people. because he's never been taken care of. or because he doesn't need it or maybe because he just doesn't know how to. but he knocks at your stall door, the door rattles with how hard he knocks at it while your whimpers make his skin itch. he tells you he'll beat up the person who did this no matter who they are and to hurry up and come out 'cus he's here.
you tell him that everyone keeps looking at you weirdly, that they whisper about you and that it makes you nervous and that you don't like it, that you want to go home. and katsuki who has no idea how to take care of people, who will probably get in trouble if someone were to see him in here but could care less because you're still crying and that irritates him, tells you that you just needed to point someone out, and he'd do it.
"i don't care if it's everyone in school, even if it's the fuckin' principal, i'll beat up everyone who looked at you weird, okay ?" he urges. so he tells you to stop crying and that he'd take you home. you ask him why, why he'd get himself in trouble for you. even though you joked the night before that if he kept looking nasty he wouldn't be able to make any friends and he'd told you to shut up.
he tells you it's because he's your bodyguard, and katsuki wonders if this is taking care of somebody too.
so yeah, school's super easy. and the teachers aren't bad, but it made you cry, and katsuki decides he hates it with a passion.
Tumblr media
when you get to senior year, you're not sitting next to katsuki anymore.
it's been a crazy couple of years since then, and you've gotten better at interacting with people. you've made some acquaintances, but you still cling to katsuki the most. you don't have him carry you on his back (as much) anymore but you've still kept some of your older routines. katsuki's gotten better at cutting up your fruits and cooking in general, so much so that you insist on him cooking your lunch everyday. katsuki tells you not to be stupid, that you should learn to cook on your own. but he helps you like mr. nakazawa once did for him, sure not as gently but considering his line of work he doesn't need to be. and you're learning so that's a win.
he's come a long way from weekly training sessions with your dad and your other uncles. he still isn't allowed to go out on missions that involve killing, that's one thing he is strictly forbidden from asking for. but he gets to go along with other squad member on what your uncle takashi called a règlement de compte. basically, a bunch of dumb french words to say he finds people that fucked with members of his squad or their turf—and fucks them up good.
this is what he's good at, what he's good with. he's good when there's no talking involved. when it's just flying fists and the familiar sting of his knuckles and the adrenaline pumping through him. he hates it when people underestimate him, especially because they're older than him. but he thrives off the looks of fear they give him when he ends up rocking their shit. he's undefeated and the most feared member of his squad and he feels like he's a little kid again. when whispers of him would circle and even just a glance at him made people backtrack in fear. some even called him matsumoto's mad dog, and it's something he's insanely proud of.
and of course, he's still your bodyguard.
but in school he's none of that. he's just katsuki bakugou. a boy some teachers call a delinquent who looks kinda scary. and the boy who never starts fights, but always finishes them.
and then there's you, who hangs out with him everyday. you who calls him katsu or suki and other cheesy stupid nicknames. who pulls his cheeks up to get him to smile more and look him straight in the eyes and tells him he'll get wrinkles by next year if he keeps looking nasty.
you're a sweet little thing. you help your classmates and you get along with them easily. you do good in the subjects you like and manage in the ones you don't as long as katsuki tutors you. you're funny, and you're easy to get along with and your smile absolutely lights up the room (you didn't hear that last part from him though).
on the surface, your father owns a pretty successful business. which landed you both into a private school. katsuki hates how he has to wear the same annoying uniform every day and he'd ditched his jacket not too long after getting it. you'd enjoyed it at first, but you quickly got tired of it too, although you still keep your jacket and added some cute socks to add your own personal touch to it.
from elementary, middle and high school you've always consistently sat right next to katsuki in class. he never admitted it but he really liked that. not only because you were the only person he liked tolerated at school, but also because he could pick on you and poke you with his pencil. you could whisper dumb jokes to each other and he could easily pass you crudely drawn notes of the teachers you disliked. he remembers one time you'd gotten in trouble and had to clean up the classroom as punishment after class. but you got in trouble together and you ended up messing up the classroom even worse than it was before, but you'd had a blast and you walked out of school right next to him.
but this year, you're not sitting next to him anymore. you're sitting next to some new kid.
he reminds him of one of the golden boys at his old orphanage so much that katsuki wonders if he'd ever seen him before. izuku midoriya looks like if the teacher spoke any louder while introducing him he'd piss his pants. katsuki fights the urge to scoff.
he looks unbearably plain. boring, uninteresting and every other adjective. the green haired boy looks like he'd get bullied by the janitor. like he'd fall onto the floor and apologise to the floor for being in its way.
basically, he looked like a loser.
and he's the one who sits next to you.
katsuki's been moved to a row behind and across from you, next to somebody he can't be bothered to remember the name of. on the very first day nothing happens, he watches you greet the freckled boy politely and he squeaks out something to make you laugh, it's probably stupid.
the next day, midoriya forgets his literature book, so you share yours with him. katsuki would've just told him it was too damn bad but you're not like him. your shoulders brush when you sit closer to him so you can both look. you flash him a smile and the boy flushes all the way to his ears, so stupid.
throughout the week you keep talking with midoriya. katsuki doesn't understand what's so special about a seemingly boring guy, when you've literally got a bodyguard. (it's not like the others know, but still). you keep touching him, too. you always let him borrow the notebooks he forgets and you even fixed his tie once. katsuki doesn't wear his tie, he'd stopped wearing it back in his freshman year, but he wishes you'd fix his too. it's childish and it's stupid.
on the way home, you mention how nice izuku is. he's forgotten that was the loser's name and something ugly flares up inside him when you say his name like that, all sweet and stupid and mushy. the tone you use when you want him to make you pancakes because he does them so well. he acts like he doesn't care.
katsuki doesn't sit next to you anymore, but at home it's just you and him. and when it's just you and him you have your weekly movie nights on weekends, a tradition for years now that katsuki has stopped pretending to be upset about. you and him, sharing popcorn and your finger brushing and you sleeping against his shoulder when you get tired. when you fall asleep and katsuki watches your lashes as you dream, it's just you and him.
a few weeks later, you stay behind after school. apparently izuku needs some help with maths. and you're sweet and different from katsuki who would've told him it was his loss, so you'll be home a bit later. katsuki can't control the muscles in his face in time because he makes a face, but he shrugs and turns away. (not before watching you happily skip off with the freckled loser, who mirrors your expression. he watches your lips move, and he wonders what you're talking about.)
katsuki thinks it's stupid. why does he have to listen to you ? he's your bodyguard, he's supposed to stay and keep you safe. but that smile on your face while you talk to the other guy, that would be too much for him.it irritates him to think about it. so he grips his bag tighter, clenches his teeth and walks back alone.
he can't ask you how it went when you get home because he has another score to settle with some no name gang. it irritates him, but he thinks he can blow some steam by punching someone's face in. he doesn't want to admit that he thinks about that freckled fucking loser when his fist makes contact with the bastard he had to find. because that's stupid, and katsuki is far from that.
he'd been more careless than usual tonight, so when he comes back you see the small cut on his nose. you're whining about how he should be more careful despite knowing what line of work he's been put in. it's irritating but katsuki doesn't want to admit that it doesn't bother him as much today. he wants to ask you how your little study date went, but he can't fix his lips to, he hates the way that sounds. and you're already dragging him off to your room where your medkit is. katsuki wants you to smile at him.
katsuki sits down onto your bed, your soft sheets make contact with his skin, he tries his best not to dirty them. your rooms changed some throughout the years, your interests changing along with you.
the first time you'd tried to patch katsuki up was when he was 14 and he'd gotten into a fight. he can't remember what for, but he does remember how you cried. he didn't understand why you did at the time, especially since you were angry at him too, so it confused him even more. you tussled a bit when katsuki refused you but a bandaid on him, saying he could do it by himself. then you'd screamed at him, your voice cracking and breaking, eyebrows furrowed. he can't remember what you'd said fully, too shocked by your expression. wether it was that he was too stubborn for his own good or that he could get an infection. he sat still after your babbling and you both sit quietly. you finally press the bandaid to his face and while you cleaned up his knuckles, you whispered.
"i really don't like it when you get hurt."
you know he's your bodyguard, that sometimes he just has to get hurt. 'cus he's apart of your dad's clan and they get hurt too. they got him out of the nightmare he lived in and it wouldn't be fair that he didn't get hurt as well. your bandages are a little loose because you'd never done this before, but katsuki doesn't say anything. after you'd finished he mumbled "i won't let anyone get a hit on me anymore."
i'll be more careful, i won't worry you anymore. i won't get hurt, so don't be sad.
you're eyes shine and you hug him tightly. his bandages are coming loose already, but he'll fix them later. he won't tell you, because you want to take care of him. he doesn't need it or want it. but his knuckles feel better and his chest feels warm, in the good way. he feels his arms wrap around you. you feel warm just like him, and he thinks this is it.
katsuki snaps out of his thought when your bed dips and he sees you. your eyebrows are pinched in worry.
"what happened ?" you're not looking at him, already cutting up some bandages.
"wasn't paying attention, bastard got a hit on me. won't happen again." he scoffs, you huff a light laugh. looking up at him mischievously. "thought you said nobody would get a hit on you anymore ?" you giggle, just the sound of it has his ears burning.
"shut up, told you it won't happen again." he scoffs, pushing at your arm. you shake your head affectionately, gesturing for his hand and he gives it to you (reluctantly). your skin feels softer than the sheets, katsuki has to keep his heart in check. "anything else hurt ?" you ask, katsuki grunts and you eye him.
"katsuki—"
"no. nothing hurts, m'good. drop it." it comes out rougher than he means, than he means with you. but you simply roll your eyes, already used to his moods. "if you're worried about me, you shoulda seen him." he huffs proudly. "i don't think i want to see that." you snort, katsuki rolls his eyes.
he wants to see you smile like you did before. what could that other guy have said that made you laugh so hard ? that makes you touch him and fix his tie and makes you stay behind at school with him ?
katsuki wonders if you have a crush on the loser in the seat next to you. he's your bodyguard, yet the ugly little feelings rears its head again and he can't help himself.
"how'd your date go ?"
fucking shit.
you blink, then snort "what date ? i was helping izuku out with math, i told you that." the bandaid around his knuckles tightens "don't say stupid stuff."
his chest feels just a bit lighter, but he still hasn't gotten to his goal just yet. "better be careful, next time he'll ask you for help fixing his diaper. fuckin' crybaby." katsuki barks a laugh when you slap his shoulder, holding back a smile of your own. he lifts your head up with his unoccupied hand. you grab at it to push him away "m'not done yet, stop it !" you squeal.
"no worries, i won't tell anyone," he smirks, you poke at his cheek with a smile "it's just us, princess. promise i won't ruin your image." he still calls you that princess nickname, because you're snobby, bratty and spoiled, but it's a bit more affectionate in the roughness of his voice that only you catch on to. you try not to look too affected by it with an eye roll. your hand flies away from his face when he snaps at your fingers.
"you're such an asshat." you huff, the smirk on his face makes your heart thump. "swear." he teases, you push at his arm with a chuckle.
you like hanging out with izuku, at first because he was fun to mess with and he looked cute when he got all blushy. but he actually is really interesting to talk to and he's funny when he isn't in his own head. he reminded you a little of yourself on your very first day of school. it's something you don't want to remember but he seemed so lost. you're glad you got to sit next to him.
but you do miss sitting next to katsuki.
"it's weird not sitting next to you anymore.." you're done bandaging his hands and start tackling his nose. before katsuki can respond you utter a quick "this'll hurt a bit," and press a cotton wad to his nose. he hisses at the sting and you apologise but he waves you off with a grunt.
katsuki can't stop looking at your little frown and sad little puppy dog eyes. and he can't help but want to tease you.
"yeah ? you miss me ?" your insulted expression is everything and he can't help but snicker, until you press the little wad harder against his nose. "fuck !" he hisses. he grips at your hand, pushing the cotton wad towards your face. he manages to nudge it against your cheek and you shake your head, you squirm around and he manages to land on top of you. you both don't realise, katsuki too focused on trying to get back at you.
he catches you off guard when he manages to grab your wrist, throwing them against your bed. and then you realise how close he is to you when his breath fans across your face.
"what're you mad at me for ? don't get embarrassed 'bout the truth," his laboured breaths is all your ears pick up on. you feel hot where his hands grip yours. they're a little moist, he's always been a bit sweaty around his hands but just maybe it has something to do with how if he were to lean in just a bit more your noses would touch. katsuki forgets he's your bodyguard and does so. you gasp at the contact, both your breathing gets harder.
"you fuckin' miss me," he breathes. you scowl up at him, lips slowly forming into a pout.
fuck, you look cute. and fuck, he wants to kiss you.
katsuki thinks maybe you don't have to smile at him. as long as you're looking at him, even just like this, that's more than okay for him.
"dick," you spit, you continue when you look towards your wall "what if i do ? you're my best friend."
no, he isn't. he's your bodyguard. it's the job he'd been entrusted by your father, it's why he's been agreeing to your every bratty whim for years now, 'cus it's his job and your dad trusts him and he owes the man his life. it's why he lets you take care of him and watch movies with him and sleep on him when you're tired.
but his chest feels warm, and his grip on your wrist tightens.
"you're such a baby," it's mean, but his eyes soften and his lip grazes your forehead. it's not even a kiss, barely a touch of his lips against the crown of your head. but your eyes are soft and he's sure his are too. he lets go of your wrists and presses his forehead to yours "m'still here y'know ? even if it's not next to you every class. don't go writin' me off."
you giggle, and you place your hand against his cheek. katsuki doesn't need to be taken care of and he's your bodyguard but he leans into your warmth lightly. your other hand reaches for the cotton wad that luckily landed next to your head during your little scuffle. you wipe his nose just like that. it's quiet and he doesn't rip his gaze away from yours, his eyes look gooey and melty like caramel. they're soft and warm and firey and so handsome. you finish by pressing a little bandaid to his nose and as thank you for taking care of him katsuki smooshes his nose to yours to make you laugh.
and you smile, in a way he knows the loser in the seat next to you never could make you. not because he's your bodyguard but cus he's your best friend, your katsuki who cuts up apples to look like little bunnies for you and the one that ties your shoe laces before you could even look down and notice they were untied, the one who brought you home. the one who'd been sitting next to you every day and will keep doing so for as long as he lives even if he can't at school.
katsuki remembers you telling him that the four bodyguards before him were no fun. that they didn't speak or play with you, but that he was your favourite. that he could be really nice and when you lean up to jokingly give him a get better kiss right on the tip of his nose, he scrunches it up and you giggle, and katsuki remembers that he's your favourite.
he'd told you he was the best and he intends on staying your favourite, so he stuffs his face in your neck and blows raspberries in it to make you giggle and to make you kick your legs he tickles you. he can admit that most bodyguards wouldn't do that. but he's your best friend, and he can admit you're his too.
Tumblr media
WHEEW CHAPTER TEWW !! loved writing this i hope yall enjoy ! this chapter was softer but i promise i'll start getting more active later on !! just wanted to have a sorta soft kindaaa in verse katsu character study kinda chap if that makes sense :> hope yall look forward to more chapters ! (p.s. i was really excited to write this part so please don't think every chap is going to come out this fast lol 🩷💗!!!!)
taglist ! : @bkgpackets @erenstitanweave @flowershop1340 @kovu-bunnbunn @queenpiranhadon
Tumblr media
468 notes · View notes
waitingonher · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ELECTRIC TOUCH — [jason grace dating headcanons]
author's note: i need 2024 to be THE year. 2023 did me soooo dirty. im praying
Tumblr media Tumblr media
dating JASON GRACE would be like dating someone from a regency era romance novel…he’s just SUCH a hopeless romantic but he would rather die than admit it.
in the initial first few weeks of dating, jason was sosososooooo shy about pda/physical touch. it’s not that he was uncomfortable, he LOVES physical touch, but he had just gone so long without it that he wasn’t used to it. but eventually, he warms up to it…and now he can’t go without having at least one part of him touching you 😭 
when it came to things like hugs, kisses, handholding, etc. jason would always wait for you to initiate it because he was so anxious about making you uncomfortable ?? fjsldfjs 
but when you communicated that he didn’t need to ask/wait for you all the time, jason started initiating things more. even still, he occasionally gets nervous to even hold your hand? like wdym you’ve been dating for over six months and you still get nervous doing simple couple things 😭 it’s very endearing though 
chivalry is NOT dead,, and it’s because of jason LMAO. he’s the type to swap shoes with you even though you’re wearing heels that are 3x too small for him, but hey, at least your feet don’t hurt anymore!
jason’s also hellbent on carrying things for you, opening doors for you, pulling out/pushing in chairs for you, etc… GOD HE’S SO CUTE. 
since dating him, you don’t think you’ve ever touched a single door or car handle when he’s with you. 
jason is NOT afraid to advocate or stand up for you, especially if you’re more on the quiet & non-confrontational side. if you’re in a group setting and someone interrupts you, he’s making sure you get your chance to say what you wanted to say. and he doesn’t do it in a way that leaves you embarrassed, he’s very very classy with it! 
if you’re a big music person, jason will literally learn your favorite artist’s entire discography so you guys have another thing to talk about. 
you guys also have a shared playlist of “your songs” and he’s so serious about it 😭 if jason hears a song that even remotely reminds him of you, he’s going to the ends of the earth to figure out what it’s called. 
rip to anyone around him if shazam doesn’t work! he’s gonna send voice messages to your big group chat humming the tune, but he’s so tone deaf that no one knows the song…and his search history is just variations of “song that goes du du ooh du ooh du du ooh” a for effort though babes…
jason’s love languages are definitely acts of service and quality time. over the years and throughout the many battles he’s fought, he’s come to realize that all he wants to do when he comes home is just spend time with his loved ones. 
after a busy day, you’ll come home to find your laundry folded, bed sheets washed & freshly made, along with a sweet little note from jason <3 
your guys’ thing are writing notes to each other. considering his and your busy schedule, you’ll write and leave tiny notes around the house for each other to find. it’s one of the many reasons why jason gets up in the morning. 
he loves coming home to you after a long day to simply melt in your arms. there’s just something so soothing about cuddling with you after a busy day. 
it does not matter where you are, you guys could literally be cleaning the camp toilets and he’d still be able to find the fun in it. you’re his home, and he’d follow you wherever you go. 
if you play sports, you already know he’s showing up to ALL your games. it doesn’t matter if it’s pouring rain or if it’s hours away, he’s absolutely determined to show his support. jason even makes posters with your jersey number and when you have big tournaments he’ll show up with posters of your face 😭 the refs are SO tired of jason help
i feel like if he really tried, jason would be a good cook. 
one day you sent him a recipe you saw online saying you wanted to make it with him, but then he decided to make it himself to surprise you. and it was actually so good??? 
JASON IN A “KISS THE COOK” APRON OMFG. that’s what you got him for his birthday and every single time without fail, he’ll wear it when he’s cooking. 
one of his hidden talents is that he’s super good at origami. he originally picked it up because he heard it was a good stress reliever, but now he also does it for you <3 
he loves your reaction when he gives you little paper rings or an origami version of your favorite animal! 
this guy DREAMS of domesticity. he’s always been the type to date to marry, and that’s just what he intends to do with you! even though you guys are still young, he’s been planning your proposal sfjfls
tell me why he already knows what kind of ring he wants to get you… omg. 
he really wants to just settle down with you in new rome. but honestly, he’s willing to do anything as long as you’re at his side. 
expect flowers from jason at least once a month! he even keeps one flower so he knows when it’s time to get you a new bouquet. and if he’s away, he’ll get one of his friends to deliver it! 
i have this headcanon that the aphrodite cabin teams up with the hephaestus cabin to throw a really elaborate party, essentially like prom. anyways, jason would go all out for your promposal jfdsls i feel like he would either do a super funny poster/proposal like y’know that one guy who did that medieval promposal 😭 yeah well jason would do something like that but like...more roman... LMFAO him pulling up to your place in a chariot 
or he would do something super super intricate and planned out…like a fancy picnic and then he’d have the fauns arrange fireflies to spell out “prom?” when it’s dark out. 
ugh! jason grace the man that you are… <3 best bf ever,, i can confirm btw
Tumblr media Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
hanbinniesmango · 2 months
Note
ooohh i like this idea!! breeding and/or pregnancy nct dream
oooh good one,,,
big on jaemin and jeno for this one🫶🏾
jaemin would be so smooth talking and gentle, but when you bring up breeding, something like clicks in him. you can tell in his demeanor that he’s really into stuff like this, he’d make you cum multiple times, giving you sweet kisses each time you came, playing with your chest whilst. would def think you’re so cute, you getting drunk on his cock while he pumps you full of his cum, probably would hold your hand while fucking so roughly into you. for the pregnancy part he would always be so gentle with you, try his best to never leave your side in general. he would be all over you, hands rubbing your stomach, kissing your face, anything. would say something along the lines of, “you look so sexy like this..” while kissing your stomach.
for jeno he has this like primal instinct to breed you at certain times, but get a bit scared since you both haven’t brushed upon the topic yet. once you bring it up hes excited to finally do it. weeks later he comes home from work angry and feels the need to take it out on you which you happily comply with. he’s kissing and sucking spots onto you, your whimpers and whines fueling him. once he’s inside you he’s going crazy. gripping your hips while he slams into you, the sounds of sex loud in the room. he’s groaning and growling, moaning out curses as you squeeze around him. for the pregnancy part he’d also be one to be gentle and do everything for you, cook for you, clean around the house, he won’t make you lift a finger. would want to fuck you again after your first child, seeing you mingle with you baby. “lemme stuff you full again baby, ‘m wanna see you swell with my cum again..”
send me a kink and i’ll reply with which member(s) of each group has it 🫶 groups include- zerobaseone, boynextdoor, nct dream, seventeen, and ateez!
409 notes · View notes
sleepyangelkami · 2 months
Text
CLOSE CALL b.blake
Tumblr media
☆ WORD COUNT - 4.1K
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
BELLAMY BLAKE X FEM!READER
☆ SUMMARY - based on the episode, 'the calm', season one, episode eleven. during the hunt for food with clarke and finn, you find yourself faced with death, lincoln saves you before it's too late but it's bellamy who finds you running for your life in the woods.
 ☆ WARNINGS - shy!reader, brief mention of insomnia, blood, gore, fire, grounders, saviour!lincoln, death threat, weapons, violence, assault, panic attack, anxiety, sexism, (3) uses of y/n, petnames, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷
Tumblr media
bellamy loved sharing a tent with you. he loved being able to brush the hair from your face as you slept soundly while he stared at the tent ceiling, wishing sleep would come over him. he loved waking up to you giggling, pushing him to get up as he slept half the day away.
but it was mornings like this, when he was met with the sight of you leaving that he groaned to himself, hands on his eyes. "where are you going, sweetheart?" pasting his softest tone.
you shimmied the wide-legged jeans up your legs, grinning as you swiped his jacket, not your own. "'m gonna go see octavia." she was currently in the smokehouse, cooking. it was some punishment for something devious she'd done with her grounder boyfriend, 'lincoln'.
"princess." his tone was a warning. "she's in the meat tent for a reason, it's not punishment if her best friend goes and visits her."
you weren't too sure why she was being punished, you weren't sure about a lot of things around here. all you knew was that the group weren't too fond of lincoln seeing as he was a grounder but he saved octavia's life once and had done nothing but be kind to her since. that was enough to get him in your good books.
"okay, then i'll be really mean to her." slipping on your shoes and sticking them out to him.
he rolled his eyes, sighing before sitting upwards. he bent down to tie the laces of your shoes, knowing that he should be up by now already. "no you won't."
you ignored him anyway, smiling as you seated yourself on his lap. he wore his black jeans, that you swore up and down about when he wore to sleep and was currently topless.
"i'll be back to you before lunch." pressing a chaste kiss to your lovers cheek, smiling softly.
you left the tent with a pep in your step, hearing bellamy yell the words, "and tell my sister to stop stealing my girlfriend!" but you only grinned, walking quicker.
everyone was out now, bellamy seemed to be the last awake. you smiled at clarke on your way, deeming her a good friend by now and opening the curtain to the meat tent.
"hi, o." octavia whipped around, grinning at you.
"finally." she scoffed. "next time you see my brother, tell him to stop hogging my best friend."
a smile forced its way on your lips at the mere thought. octavia and bellamy were so alike yet they'd never know, both too stubborn to ever admit it. your eyes trailed to the other person in the meat tent. it was john murphy, infamous around the camp right about now. "oh, hi murphy." a friendly smile gracing your lips. he helped you and many others out when you got sick, it was only fair to return the kindness.
"hey, y/n." though he didn't miss the way octavia nudged your side causing you to frown at her. it was safe to say that they weren't the biggest fans of each other right about now.
your eyes trailed across your best friend, seeing her face glisten. "do you want me to take your jacket? you're sweating."
"good idea, thanks." before the girl could shimmy the jacket off and pile it in your hands, the sound of someone else's voice filled the tent, not murphy's either.
"let's get this party smokin'!" del was a member of bellamy's posse, the one you weren't so fond of, tossing firewood into the fire causing you to frown.
octavia must have shared the same expression. "you don't want the fire too big so maybe just try to knock it down with some wet leaves." you were too embarrassed to open your mouth, inching your way closer to octavia. you never found yourself one to speak freely in front of others.
"you get that from your boyfriend?" the boy retaliated. "grounder-pounder."
but as shy as you may have been, your face suddenly contorted to a deeper frown. you looked at octavia who merely kept quiet, turning and fixing the hanging meat. luckily, murphy spoke instead. "she's right. a hot fire isn't gonna preserve the meat as well."
"can't take the heat? get out of the smokehouse." he looked between the two, knowing better than to throw around looks to you. "you should be kissing our asses for being back allowed in this camp."
"leave them alone." your shaky voice still managed to speak, you followed the boy despite octavia grasping your arm. "i'll tell bellamy."
the boy suddenly froze in his tracks. he turned to look at you, biting his lip with a scoff before turning back around, leaving.
you sighed awkwardly, wishing the entire encounter hadn't happened but as soon as you turned around, you felt smoke engulf you. del should have listened when octavia told him to lay it off with the leaves. you found arms engulfing you, octavia's familiar scent filling your nose. she all but dragged you out of the smokehouse.
the tent went up in flames faster than you could blink.
octavia passed you off to bellamy while a cough ripped at your throat. bellamy questioned his sister's wellbeing, she stated that she was fine, dragging a hand across her forehead. "you okay? are you hurt?"
you shook your head, coughing while bellamy wrapped a hand on the back of your head.
"this is all your fault." murphy stood, his hands outstretching as he pushed del backwards. "we told you it was too much wood!"
bellamy only let go of you once del and murphy began throwing swings at one another, as if it would change a thing. he split the two up, yelling at everyone to stop.
silence engulfed the group. you were next to octavia, a gentle hand rubbing on her back, her face covered in smoke. "bell, now what the hell are we gonna do?" she yelled causing everyone to turn. "that was all our food!"
the food was burned to a crisp. even when people managed to stop the fire, the food was already destroyed. clarke and bellamy looked over possibilities but they only had enough nuts and water to last them a week, two if they were lucky. clarke suggested they hunt.
it wasn't everyday that you were left outside the gates. "can i come?" you excitedly tittered, despite the appauled look on bellamy's face.
"i can take care of her." clarke spoke before he even got the chance to refuse. multiple times, you'd left the gates with clarke, talking on about things that she hadn't a notion about, chiming in with a hum every few seconds.
but she always took care of you, bellamy couldn't dispute with that. "with the entire grounder army out there?"
you slumped but clarke only raised her eyebrows. "and how do you expect her to defend herself if she's starving?"
he knew she was right, as much as he would have prefered to believe she wasn't.
he lined people up, splitting them into groups and handing out guns but keeping it so that one person per group had a gun, the last thing they needed was to run out of bullets right before the grounders hit them. truth was, bellamy didn't know if you were safer out there than you were in here.
you were paired with clarke, finn and a boy called myles.
"don't stay after dark, you hear me?" bellamy was zipping the zipper of his jacket around you but it was clarke who he handed the gun to. "you see grounders, you run back, i don't care who you leave behind."
"i'll be fine." you stretched out the last syllable, placing your hands on the man's shoulders as he was currently crouched in front of you. "y'worry too much."
"i have to worry." he assured. "you don't worry enough." he pressed a kiss to your head as you grinned, then leaning in and pressing one against your smile. "i love you."
"i love you too." you couldn't help but giggle, turning on your heel. "see you soon!"
bellamy watched with a twisting gut, feeling helpless but anxious all at once. he would have gone with you, watching your every move but being the leader of the camp made that incredibly hard for him. he sometimes wished he wasn't in charge, maybe then you could be his only priority. but if he didn't, who would?
"you know, i don't think you're actually allowed to say that." myles was a sweet kid, you supposed but he had some pretty out there views. the forest was quiet, too quiet while finn and clarke trailed above you.
you supposed hanging back with myles couldn't be worse than whatever conversation they were having. "why not? is it so bad to want a traditional marriage?"
"not at all." you answered swiftly. "but it's supposed to be a choice." by now, finn had already caught two squirrels. "the woman should be able to decide if that's what she wants and if you want that, then be with a woman who does too. you can't just force someone into being someone they're not."
"well, we wouldn't have this problem if women just stuck to what they were good at." the comment made you frown.
"myles, can you just be quiet for a second?" the words came from clark who shared the same look of distaste on her own face. you watched as she and finn studied the tracks on the ground, apparently belonging to a boar. "what is it?"
you followed where they sat, kneeling down beside finn to see what was wrong while myles hovered over you all. "these tracks..."
once you got a closer look, you could see how close together they were, how stuck in the mud they truly seemed. "they're perfect."
"too perfect." finn added, his eyes casting upwards. "we're the ones being hunted." someone had planted the boar tracks.
instantly, a shiver ran up your spine while myles stood up, pointing his gun as he glanced around the woods. "i don't see anything." as if on command, there was a swooping sound and suddenly, the arrow landed in his leg, the next in his shoulder.
you could have screamed, instead you gasped out the boy's name, looking to clarke for help. your hands instantly sat on the wound, covering it so blood didn't leak out, clarke sat at the other side, doing the same to his shoulder. "guys, come on, we gotta leave him." finn was adamant, rushing the girls forward.
"we can't just―" you didn't get to finish your sentence for something hard hit you over the head and suddenly you were laying flat on the ground, dizziness swirling your vision. you could vaguely make out a grounder coming from behind finn and doing the same, you didn't see what they did to clarke.
then everything became nothing at all.
it turned black.
𝜗𝜚
when you woke, you were being forced onto the ground. your hands were bound in front of you and your knees smashed against the cold gravel, you could feel the flesh break apart, little cuts littering against your skin. finn and clarke were in the same position, sharing glances of worry.
your brows were knit together as your eyes scanned where you were, some kind of cave though it also appeared to be a room. your first thought was bellamy, how worried the boy seemed when you left, you could only imagine the worry when you didn't return. you'd imagine by the lighting that it was well after sunset.
"we walked for about three miles." finn began to whisper. it appeared as though he and clarke hadn't been hit as hard as you had. "after crossing that creek, another two or so before we got to the road."
"i don't think it matters, finn." clarke's voice had a sense of desperation in it. "they didn't blindfold us which means they don't care what we saw. they're gonna kill us."
a cold feeling settled in the base of your stomach, bile rising to your throat. bellamy was right, it wasn't safe out here and you just had to go and get yourself killed.
two grounders pulled you up by your shirt, you let out a whimper as they shoved you forward, others doing the same to clarke and finn. they led you down the cave's hallway and into another room where other grounders were waiting then shoving you right back on the ground.
a woman stood in front of you, wearing a long black coat. she unleashed her sword, suddenly stalking towards clarke. you made a move. "wait." you tried, shoving yourself in front of her but you were quickly hauled back by one of the grounders.
but the woman didn't kill her, on the contrary, she cut the ropes on her wrist, untying her. they shoved clarke to her feet, uncovering a girl who laid across a table, gasping out in pain. "help her. if she dies, they die." you gulped, turning to finn who shared the look of fear. "her name is tris."
"i can't do this." clarke looked at the body, turning her so she could see her face. "i don't have any equipment."
"we'll provide you with what we can."
"why do you think i can save her?"
"lincoln told her." finn chimed in.
"yes." the woman answered. "our healer is gone, there's nothing we can do for her. for their sake, i hope you can."
"clarke." finn's eyes were glued to the blonde's, adoration filling them. "you can do this."
the woman and the rest of the grounders began to clear the room until clarke's voice stopped them. "wait. what happened to her?"
a dark look was in the woman's eyes. "she was on the bridge when your bomb exploded. you did this to her."
𝜗𝜚
alcohol stained your hands, blood too.
"it's as sharp as it's gonna get." grounders now filled the room, watching as clarke did everything she could to save the girl. she was hit in the chest and was loosing blood, she needed more and desperately so.
"okay, thanks." clarke snapped the syringe from finn's hand who'd been sharpening it against the ground.
you were busy holding a cloth to the girl's chest, hoping to stop the loss of blood but it wasn't doing a great job. clarke stained the needle with bleach, hoping to rid it of any bacteria while your eyes scanned the girl's face. she couldn't have been older than fifteen, how could anyone send her to battle in the first place?
she was a child.
"okay." she stood in front of the 'leader' who went by the name of anya. "i'm gonna need your blood."
a grounder placed his hand in front of anya, pulling her away. "no." was his answer.
"you're from the same tribe, it's the best match we're gonna get." clarke was adamant but so was anya, neither of them willing to take the risk.
"clarke, she's gonna die." your hands were shaking desperately, tears floating your eyes. "use mine! just use mine!" clarke took you up on the offer, pulling your hands from the girl's body and sticking the syringe into your arm. you winced as she sucked the blood into the syringe, you instantly felt sort of dazed but shook it from your head.
clarke handed the syringe to finn and she searched the girls arm. "i can't find a vein." frantically searching her. "she's clamping down, she's lost too much blood."
your faint voice could be heard. "clarke..."
"oh, come on." desperately trying to save her.
but you shook your head, icy fear withering you away. "clarke, she's not breathing."
a simple sentence that silenced them all.
clarke backed away, meeting in the middle between you and finn while anya stepped forward with her knife, cutting a braid from the girl's hair and nodding to one of the grounders. he picked the girl up, gently as possible, leading her out of the room.
you couldn't bear to look, chest feeling hot.
anya suddenly turned to the grounders in the room. "take them away." eyeing you who held your tied hands close to your chest. "kill them."
your breath caught in your chest. "wait." tears filled your eyes as one of the grounders grabbed you, hauling you upwards. "wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, please." he harshly pushed you forward, carrying you away.
"no, no, no, no, please!" one grounder held clarke back as she pushed at him, trying to get to you. "no, i did everything i could, please!"
but the sound of her voice suddenly faded out as they carried you away. you pushed at them, thrashing in their arms but it was no use, the grounder hauled you away from the room. he suddenly set you down, holding your tied wrists down as his face came close to yours. "don't move." his gruff voice could be heard as you looked away, tears filling your eyes.
another grounder walked behind you while he walked in front of you, leading you to the front room of the cave. your mind suddenly turned to bellamy, how worried he must be. you could see the darkness from the entrance.
you couldn't help it, you ran.
but you didn't get far. instantly, you were picked up by the grounder from behind. you whimpered, thrashing against him but it was no use, he shoved you inside the room, practically throwing you. your head hit off the stone floor and you brought your hand to the back of your hair, metallic liquid staining it.
you pulled it away, shaky eyes spotting the blood dripping down your fingertips.
"w-wait." tears pooled your eyes, fear lacing your tone. "please, please, i didn't do anything wrong, please don't do this―"
you gasped out as a grounder took a fist of your hair into his hand. "your punishment shall be death by a thousand cuts." and before you could take in what he said, you felt a knife scratch across your face, cutting your cheek.
you cried out, hand coming to grab your bloodied cheek as you dragged your body backwards, crawling into yourself. a fat tear rolled down your cheek as your body caved in, huddling your knees up to yourself.
it was no use to cry out and beg them to stop, the grounders were simple beings, once given an order, all they could do was follow it. but still, your mouth uttered the whisper, "please." at the same time as you felt a slash against your left leg.
suddenly, a sword crashed through the grounders head. this time, you screamed. the sight was horrific, blood spewed outwards and you held a hand over your mouth. the body dropped to reveal lincoln, the man who adored your best friend more than anything.
"natrona." the grounder suddenly whispered, the word meant 'traitor'. he yelled out and charged at lincoln who pushed him backwards, guarding him against the wall.
lincoln stabbed a sword through the grounder's abdomen, who yelled out again. "go!" lincoln yelled to you, staring at your terrified form. "go, now!"
and you had no choice.
a whimper left your lips as you ran forwards, lungs collapsing. you worried for lincoln, not wanting to leave him alone but if you stayed, it'd meant lincoln did it all for nothing.
your feet ran towards the exit, tears swamping you as your legs moved at a super speed, running the fastest you'd ever run in your life. never, had your calves burned like this and never had your lungs ached so horribly. all you could see was the moment you were thrown into the room, the horrifying look on the grounder's face. you'd do anything to escape it.
running as though your life depended on it, and perhaps it did.
you managed to look backwards, worried something or someone was following you but as you looked back, you felt yourself run into something solid.
someone.
your mouth opened to scream at the same time as a hand wrapped around your mouth clamping down on it as he turned you to hide behind a tree.
your eyes opened to reveal bellamy, staring at you with eyes full of concern. "what happened?" he frantically searched you as his hand left your mouth. "why are you bleeding? where are the others?"
"b-bells." your cry shook your voice, eyes turning behind you, you swore you could see people between the trees, though they vanished as soon as they appeared. "we have to go, we have to leave. they're-they're gonna find us."
bellamy had never seen you so shaken, shallow breaths making way to your throat but not seeming to find their way out. "hey, hey, look at me." his hands grabbed at either side of your face. even in the darkness, you could make out his pretty dark curls and his enlarged brown eyes. "you're okay, 's just me, you're okay, sweetheart."
and you couldn't hold yourself back any longer. you threw your arms around him, holding him close as nervous sobs wracked your body, chest heaving out as if it were on fire.
"'s okay, you're fine." his hands smoothed your back, doing his best to reassure you but by no means did your shallow breaths slow. "you're safe, princess."
"can we go?" you pulled away, nervous eyes scanning the forests. "please, bells, i wanna go home."
he couldn't deny your scratchy voice or blotchy cheeks. "okay, okay let's go, angel." he helped you walk though you stumbled better than you walked. his eyes glanced down at the blood seeping through your jeans. "your leg." he didn't bother to inspect it, merely hooking his hands around your legs and lifting you up.
your head lolled against his shoulder, arms around his neck.
you began to feel dizzy but bellamy carrying you seemed much better than trying to run again. still, your eyes danced everywhere they could, searching high and low for a grounder, a surprise attack.
you must have run far for it didn't take long for the clear vision of the camp to fall into line's view. as soon as the gates opened and bellamy carried you inside, you found air falling back into your lungs.
"y/n?" the sound of octavia's voice was the first to fill your ears. you must have looked a wreck, covered in blood, carried limp in bellamy's arm. "oh my god, y/n. what happened?" though her voice was directed at her brother, not you.
"it was lincoln." your scratchy voice suddenly spoke, causing her brows to crease. "lincoln saved me."
her eyes fluttered and questions began rolling in. raven suddenly stepped forward, demanding to know where finn was, others began to question about clarke. suddenly, you couldn't breathe again. "okay, listen up!" bellamy's voice rang through the camp, silence followed. "everyone get back to your tents! we'll continue the search in the morning!"
he didn't wait for them to follow his orders, knowing they would anyway. instead, he carried you towards a tent.
everything was suddenly spinning, nothing seemed to make sense. black dots began to cloud your vision and you couldn't see which tent he had carried you to. you could see a woman, very vaguely and he was speaking to her, at least he looked like he was. his lips were moving but you couldn't register the words coming out of his mouth.
the girl must have been something to do with a medic because you could feel her lifting your head up and inspecting between the strands of your hair. you saw bellamy's face contort, but it was turning to mush, practically a mere squiggle now.
he stepped backwards and your hand suddenly reached him.
he looked back to your face, eyes softening. it was apparent that you weren't really there and how could he blame you? the blood loss was already obvious.
"don't..." it seemed like a chore to get syllables to pass your lips but nonetheless, you willed yourself to move, grasping his large fingers in your hand. "don't leave me."
"'m not going anywhere, princess." and to prove it, he sat against the chair next to you, letting the woman inspect your wounds. "okay? you can rest now, i'm right here."
through the haze, his voice was the only thing your mind could grasp to.
you slowly nodded as your eyes fluttered shut.
"you're safe, sweetheart." being the last thing you heard before everything went black.
Tumblr media
main masterlist/bellamy's masterlist
539 notes · View notes
penelopepine · 5 months
Text
Maybe I'll write this later:
Poly!141 x Bull Rider Reader
Poly!141 go on a vacation to a cabin owned by Laswell. She let's them know that the county fair is in town the same time as them, and that they should check it out. Says they should experience this aspect of the states. Mentions at the very least they should go and watch the bull riders.
Poly!141 go to the fair. Price thought it sounded interesting, but didn't care either way. Gaz thought that it was a fun idea; definitely wanted to go. Soap was the most hype about going; he was down to go the moment he knew about it. Ghost didn't really want to go. The only reason he did was because he couldn't say no to Gaz's big brown eyes or Soap's pretty begging.
Poly!141 do all of them normal fair activities. They checked out the cooking competition. Trying all the chilies, pies, dips, and cakes. Making bets between themselves on which ones will win.
They play a few of the fair games. Price absolutely dominates at the balloon darts game, and wins prizes for all of the others. Soap tries to his best to win at ring toss; he REALLY wants one of those giant stuffed animals. He doesn't care how impractical carrying that thing is going to be. Try as he may he can't do it though. Soap had given up, and decided to give his last throw to Gaz; who won in one throw! This both delighted and infuriated Soap. Ghost was totally ready to just buy or steal the giant stuffed animal if he hadn't made it.
Poly!141 are finally able to watch the fair shows later during the day. The first they watch is the ax throwing competition. Ghost spends the whole time judging their stances and forms. While also silently admiring the strength that some of them have. Gaz can't stop thinking about how if Price wore a flannel shirt that he would fit right in, and they'd probably lose him in the crowd.
After that is when they go and watch the bull riding competition. Soap is immediately invested in what's happening, and is convinced that he could do this as well. Price is impressed; watching these men and woman willing get bucked around while they could easily get hurt. Ghost spends his time holding Soap down trying to tell him that he can't go down there and ask to do that. Gaz wants to try this for himself, but he knows better than to try it on a real animal. Looks up places they could go and ride a mechanical bull instead.
Poly!141 are instantly drawn to you when you make your appearance. Your smile was dazzling, and they definitely weren't looking at how good your ass looks in those pants.
Bull Rider Reader is an experienced rider. They've been performing since a young age, and has made a bit of a name for themselves within the community. They know how to make a show, and wow the crowd.
Once the show is done Bull Rider Reader runs into Poly!141. Soap is asking questions about how it feels to ride a bull, and how could he do that too. Gaz is saying that they were very entertaining to watch, and asking how long they've been doing this. Ghost is mostly silent; only saying that they did good and wondering to himself if bull riding would come in handy in other aspects of life. Specifically the bedroom. Price is the one who asks Bull Rider Reader if they live around the area or if they traveled for this event.
Poly!141 invite Bull Rider Reader to watch the fireworks with them, and later asks if they would want to hang out a different day since they're still on vacation for a few more days.
Bull Rider Reader knows a bar with a good mechanical bull, and offers to teach them some tips. Poly!141 is instantly down and ready to learn.
The next day everyone meets up and the amount of flirting is through the roof on both sides. Light touches and sexual innuendos are at a none stop with this group. The night ends with everyone having ridden the bull; even Ghost who was easily the best and managed to stay on the longest out of everyone.
Everyone leaves feeling happy and a new number in their phones.
559 notes · View notes
Text
I DONT LIKE ANYONE EXCEPT SOMETIMES YOU
shinso x reader
thoughts about how shinso would act in a relationship. same premise as the kirishima ver.
inspired by backburner
Tumblr media
hitoshi shinso, who’s facetimes with you always run late into the night. you ramble on about your day while he hums in response, knowing that you know he’s not the talkative type. he never asks “how was your day?” he always says “tell me about your day.” because he really, truly wants to hear about your day. you could have cured a disease or simply just gotten out of bed, and he’d still want to hear every single detail simply because its from you.
hitoshi shinso, who loves to cook. only you're aware of it, because he doesn't always like sharing personal details with others, but you never complained- it just means more for you. you're always the first person that gets to try his food, though he claims you're not a very good critic. but you can't help it, everything he makes tastes so good. and with every compliment you shower him in, he'll hit you with a 'yeah, yeah, whatever.' and then next moment, make you more so you can always stay fed during long days at UA and long hours during hero-training. its his silent way of telling you he loves you.
hitoshi shinso, whose cats love you more than they love him. he has three triplets, a black british short hair, a siamese, and a grey ragdoll- pepper, lexi, and mustache- he absolutely hates the last name, but he had just adopted the kitten and you named it for its white streak right below its nose. he'll deny it forever, but he gets pouty and huffs in annoyance whenever he sees the cats run to you, even after he's fed and taken care of them for all of their lives. but he also cant deny the way his heart skips a beat whenever he seems them cuddled up with you on his bed, wearing one of his big t-shirts. it softens his heart in a way that nothing else does- your love fills his heart more strongly and more passionately than anything does.
hitoshi shinso, who is the closed-off, funny but quiet dickhead of his friend group. he's known for his out-of-pocket roasts at the right times and his nonchalant nature that contrasts with the loud, spunkiness of his multicolored-haired friends. but with you, he softens. the few times he's brought you along with him to movie night or training sessions, you've softened his heart enough for the love in him to seep out towards others as well. whenever you crack a joke, make someone else at the table smile, and draw laughs and happiness from their chests, a blush blooms across his cheeks. obviously, he fell for you, how could he not?
hitoshi shinso, who's favorite activity with you is your sunday-ritual. you'll wake up together, either in the same bed or over the phone, and bike down to the coast. you'll bug him about wearing a helmet, but he always complains that it ruins your hair. he'd never admit that its because he thinks you're absolutely adorable when you dote on him. afterwards he'll share a smoothie with you- he hates all the flavors except for mixed berry, which is the one he always insists on getting. he hates the the overpricing for what the product actually is, but loves the smile it puts on your face after a tiring bike-ride. and afterwards, you two will go back to either his of your place. his place if your parents aren't home, and his place when his parents are home, and binge watch a long t.v show of your choosing. he'll always complain that its stupid, poorly written or drawn out, but get pouty whenever you watch an episode without him. it's the one thing he looks forwards to at the end of a long week, drawn out with endless studies, training, and burnout. you're his safe place, and he needs it more than he'll admit.
hitoshi shinso, who somehow remembers every tiny detail about you. his mind works like gears, arranging formulas and deciphering codes, but the intellect of his mind makes you its priority. he remembers the way you pick your nails and cuticles when you have anxiety, and how placing his warm palm over yours soothes some of those thoughts. he remembers how prefer to tie your hair back during training but how you somehow always forget a hair tie- and he knows how you always give him a peck on his cheek once he shows off the one he's been keeping on his wrist for you. he remembers how you can't sleep without your nightly calls, and how he needs to hear your voice before he drifts of too- maybe more than you need it. he remembers the first day you met, the first thing he said to you, the first time he ever felt love for you. he remembers all of it and keeps it embedded in his heart. hitoshi shinso may seem like he hates everyone, but the one exception to that is you. and he'll remember that forever.
Tumblr media
706 notes · View notes
mrsaltieri-real · 1 year
Text
Ethan Landry as a Boyfriend Headcanons (SFW AND NSFW)
I was bored so rewatched Scream 6 and these just popped into my mind, hope you enjoy!
Warning/s: 18+, Fem!AFAB!Girlfriend, language, mentions of smut, oral, p in v, riding, sub!Ethan, begging, mentions of orgasm denial, degrading kink, praise kink, sweet and soft Ethan, you get the picture
Word count: approx 600
Tumblr media
SFW
Very, very clingy. Feels completely out of touch when he’s not around you. The boy will follow you around like a little lost puppy
Big on physical contact. He likes to always be holding your hand or have your arm tucked into his
Yah, he’s touch starved
He’s literally obsessed with you.
Like, to the point where it’s probably concerning to those around you
He’s a shy little bastard though
Gets overstimulated in large groups of people so will absolutely cling to you for dear life in malls
But he really likes going shopping with you and helping you pick out clothes
He absolutely LOVES when you play with his hair
He’ll lie with his head on your lap for hours just relishing in the feeling of your fingers running through his curls
Likes to fall asleep with you in his arms, or the other way round depending
He’s a big spoon little spoon switch for REAL
He blushes every time you pay him a compliment
“You look really nice today, baby”
INSTANTLY RED. How cute is he?
Bless his heart, he’s not a good cook at all so you’re the one who ends up doing the cooking
But he’ll try his best to help until you have to kick him out of the kitchen for somehow burning water
But he’ll sit at the table and watch you cook away with a big old smile on his face
Doesn’t really use pet names himself, but loves it when you call him “baby,” “babe,” and “honey.”
His love languages are quality time, physical touch and words of affirmation
He could sit and listen to you talk about your day forever
He’s the best to gossip with
“And then he told her to fuck off!”
“Shut up, no he didn’t? What happened next??“
Such a good boyfriend, right?
NSFW
He’s a needy little fucker
Like HONESTLY so fucking needy
Such a sub it’s not even funny
Two words: PUSSY WORSHIP
He’ll literally be begging to eat you out until you cum
Over and over again
Will always want to make sure you’ve had at least a couple of orgasms before he even gets his cock out
LOVES when you fuck his face, I don’t make the rules
Absolute master of eating pussy
Guys got the kind of mouth invented for going down
Loves messily sucking on your clit and getting your juices all over his face
He’s such a slut for you, he’d go out of his way to make you feel good
Don’t ask me why, but he’s a thigh and tits kinda guy and pussy obviously
He likes when you’re on top when having sex, completely dominating and taking full control
He himself doesn’t have a dominant bone in his body
Begs really prettily
He absolutely 100% whimpers
He’s so fucking vocal
Likes when you pull his hair when you’re fucking him
Really riles him up
Won’t say it, but loves to be denied of release
Actively wants you to deny him so that when you grant him permission, the satisfaction is just oh so much better
Again, won’t say it but he loves when you’re blowing him and after he already cums you keep sucking
THAT kind of over stimulation? He likes
He’ll be sobbing, saying “thank you, thank you” over and over again when you let him cum
Likes when you look into his eyes while blowing him too. Does all kinds of things to him
Goes absolutely wild when you praise him
He’s playing with your clit just right?
“You’re such a good boy, baby.”
He’d be trying not to bust then and there
He also loves being degraded
Call him pathetic and needy and he’ll be a whimpering mess, almost sobbing from your words and especially if you’re overstimulating him
But balance out the praise and degradation
He’s a very sensitive guy in more ways than one
When you’re riding him he’ll be gazing up at you, hands on your hips watching your tits bouncing and just feel like he’s in heaven
Loves loves loves when you touch yourself in front of him
Really enjoys lazy, early morning sex
But loves long sessions in the afternoon even more
As I said, deny him and he’ll last as long as he can
Don’t deny him? Baby will cum just from eating you out alone he fucking loves it
What can I say? He’d do anything that brings you pleasure. He’s just that kinda guy
3K notes · View notes
familyvideostevie · 11 months
Text
the meaning of it all
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
joel miller x reader
summary: Joel Miller, of all people, teaches you to ask for help. 
word count: 13.6k
warnings: jackson au, post part i, joel and ellie worked it out! joel is soft! language, violence, fluff, learning to accept help and love.
a/n: this fic is a soft joel (think part ii joel but make it two years into jackson because he and ellie resolved everything <3) and a reader who is much more me than i've written before. i hope you like it! thank you again to @strangerfreaks who held my hand through this, i owe you my life.
___
Luck. God damned old-fashioned thank-fuck-for-that luck has kept you alive since the world ended. Deep festering rage and a near-constant state of fear have helped. But every bullet you've found, every undamaged can of food, every shot that landed in the right place so you were the last one standing -- that's all luck. Or a curse, depending on the day. Depending on how you're feeling about it all.
And Jackson? That's the biggest stroke of luck you've had in twenty years. A single woman on her own with plenty of working years left and no obvious red flags was probably a no-brainer for the community to take in but you feel like you've finally made it. After two decades of violence and horror and pain, you fucking made it somewhere safe.
You spend as much time as you can making sure everyone knows how grateful you are. You don't have any special skills, not really. You can shoot well enough, cook well enough, clean well enough. Young enough when all the shit went down that you don't have a trade or any work experience, you just go wherever they need someone in town.
Keeping busy means you're bone-tired most nights. Exhausted sleep means fewer nightmares, less time to wander the halls of your very nice but much too-big-for-you-home and miss everything you've lost. But picking up shifts wherever you can also means you don't meet many people beyond hellos and exchanging names. Farming is easy and you get to work with a lot of the kids in town, daycare much the same. You're lousy with power tools but you're able to carry materials wherever they're needed. Cooking is easy when it's stew for hundreds of people and doing dishes is even fun when someone turns on the radio. You're making it work.
Patrol is...patrol. You're able, so you're on the roster. It's not that you hate it, not exactly. Going outside the walls makes you feel like you're someone else. You slip back into the mask of fear and anger, the one that kept you alive for so long. And the worst part is it's comfortable. 
You've done the training runs, the group patrols for three months. Infected still freak you out a little but you're smart enough to be more scared of people. All of the senior patrol members have cleared you for paired patrols and today is your first one.
Tommy meets you at the stables to check-in.
You don't really have any friends, though everyone is perfectly nice to you, but Tommy and Maria are probably as close as it gets.  You figure they take a shine to newcomers like you, ones who come in alone, maybe to keep an eye on them as much as anything else. But they've both got a smile and kind word for you whenever you see them, always asking if you need anything. You always tell them no, you're fine, thank you.
"You ready?" Tommy says. "I've had them pull Apollo for you." You pat yourself one more time to make sure you have everything. Pistol on your thigh, knife at your hip, pack secure on your back. Hat and gloves tucked into your jacket pocket to account for the wind on the trails.
"I think so," you tell him. You blow a raspberry at your horse and he blows back, nudging your shoulder with his nose.
"After this, pretty sure you'll have done every job there is to do in this town. Pullin' crops, plantin' crops, cookin' crops. Kids, the library, cleanin', buildin' that ramp at Lenore's last month. You've been here, what, six months? And you've done it all."
It should make you feel good that he's noticed. It does, but only a little. You still feel like you could work every day for the rest of your life and not repay what he and this town have given you. To make up for the things you've done on the road.
"I'm the best floater in Jackson," you joke instead. Smiling makes people like you. You haven't had much cause to smile in recent years so you're still getting used to the urge. Tommy scoffs. "I don't do important council stuff like you and Maria, though."
He ignores that. "Y'know, pretty sure they call that a jack-of-all-trades. A real Ren-ai-ssance woman." You try to come up with a retort, eyes wandering to the patrol assignment board. Your name is under ELK CREEK and under it is --
"Quit harassin' her."  Tommy rolls his eyes and flips off whoever comes up behind you. You turn around and see a man you know of but have never actually met.
"Joel," Tommy says. "I believe this is called havin' a conversation. You ever tried it?"
"Funny," Joel replies. He nods at you. "You my partner today?"
"Seems so." You introduce yourself, Apollo's warm breath at your back.
"Joel Miller," he says back.
You're a little intimidated, truth be told. You know him by reputation mostly. Tommy's big brother who came to town a few years ago with a little girl. They're both pretty much everywhere. Joel fixing houses and talking to kids in the street, going on patrols and always bringing back extra for whoever needs it. Ellie galloping around town with other teenagers and bringing home the biggest game. You've handed her books a few times at the library, too, seen her bright eyes and infectious energy underneath teenage angst that transcends even an apocalypse. And you've seen them together, heads down in the dining hall or pressed closed walking down the street -- heard rumors about why they came here, how they came here, too -- and one thing is clear to you: the Millers are beloved. By this town and by each other.
It's a miracle all its own in this fucked up world.
"You two ain't met yet?" Tommy says, pointing at the space between you. You snap out of your thoughts. "You've been here long enough to have met everyone by now."
"Guess not," you say with a wry smile. The younger Miller is too polite to call you out for not having a single friend in that time period, either.
"Well, here we are," Joel says. "Gonna keep us here forever, Tommy? Or can we do our job?"
Tommy claps him on the shoulder and winks at you. "Tone down the asshole for her first paired patrol, yeah?"
Joel snorts. He grabs a horse that was already tacked for him and leads it out of the stable. You follow with Apollo. The patrol coordinator hands out rifles and reminds everyone of the rules.
You hop on your horse. "You ready?" Joel asks, startling you a bit. "We'll gallop to the mouth of the river and then start patrollin'."
Something in you relaxes a bit at his clear confidence in you to handle yourself. You know you're with him for a reason -- he's one of the best. That, or maybe he just doesn't give a shit. Somehow you think it's the former.
You follow him up the hill outside the gates and through the tree line. The noise of the Outside is different than that of Jackson. Birdsong, snapping branches and dry brush under your horse, the wind rippling down the hill. You take a deep breath through your nose and feel a part of you come alive. It's funny how a world so beautiful can be so deadly.
Joel gallops a little ahead of you, strong and steady. You watch him, think about what you know. He's older than you, that much is obvious. Greying hair curling around his ears, lines on his face from more than just a stressful life. But he's strong, good at what he does. Those rumors come back to the front of your mind. How he and Ellie showed up, half-starved and bloody. How he and Tommy are the most famed patrol duo for Infected kills and otherwise. It makes you feel safe. It makes you want to learn from him. It makes you want to know more.
And he's got kind eyes. Somehow, he's got kind eyes.
"Alright," Joel calls back to you. "Route starts here." He slows his horse and you pull up beside him. He shifts in his saddle and turns his face to you. "Now, I know this is your first pair," he says. "I won't order you around or nothin' but my main piece of advice is that everyone has a different patrol style. Know how to adapt."
You dig your gloves out of your pockets and wiggle them on. Joel watches before his eyes snap back to yours. "Noted." You honestly didn't think he'd talk this much. "And let me guess. Yours is patrol in silence?" You punctuate the nervous quip with a smile.
Joel snorts. "Nah," he says. "Unless you're Max. Can't stand that fucker."
It startles a laugh out of you and any ice you'd imagined breaks for good. Max is one of the middle-aged men who probably would have been a lawyer or a politician based on the way he likes the sound of his own voice.
"Now," Joel says. "You done this route before?" His knuckles are a little red but he doesn't put on any gloves.
"Twice, I think. First log book in that old station, right?" Joel nods. "Second in the town?" He nods again.
"Color me impressed." His mouth tugs up at the corner into something you might call a smile. You try not to look too pleased with yourself. "Some of the dipshits on the roster don't even remember that much."
It feels like you've passed a test. His praise makes you feel nice. Noticed. Not something you often seek but you know yourself well enough to admit that you'd like a little more of it. Even if it's from a man you just met.
"Not that hard," you say softly. Joel looks at you for a moment longer before clicking his teeth. His horse starts to walk. You signal to Apollo to follow.
The patrol goes off without a hitch. Joel signs the log book in the station and you sign it in the tower. He lets you snipe two runners that he spots and doesn't scold you when you take three tries on the second one.
"Settlin' in okay?" he asks once you've rounded the town one last time and started back towards Jackson. "Six months, Tommy said?"
Despite his earlier words, you haven't chatted much this patrol. While you'd like to know more about him, want to get him to smile at you again, you're really just enjoying being out here with someone else, knowing that you're safe. That you've got somewhere to go back to.
"It's nice," you sigh. "I never imagined I'd find a place like this."
You really should pick up the pace to get back to town but he doesn't seem to be in any hurry.
"I know the feelin'," he murmurs. "Ellie'n me slept on the floor for a good two weeks at the start. Been two years and some nights I don't take my boots off."
"What a fucking life, huh?" That earns you a wry smile. "Having a house is...strange. All of the hinges squeak and I --"
"The hinges squeak?" You look over at him and Joel's brows are furrowed.
"Oh, I mean, it's no big deal --" You stumble over apologies. You don't want him to think you're complaining about a home his brother gave you when he sure as shit didn't have to.
Joel taps his thumb on the pommel of his saddle. "Can get that fixed, y'know."
You didn't know, actually. "Really?"
Now he looks at you like you're a little stupid. "Ain't you the one hauling shit to people's houses when they need a hand?"
He has a point and you hate it. It never occurred to you to ask for someone to come fix your hinges. They're just hinges, for fuck's sake. Other people have holes in their floorboards or leaks or need new rooms for family members. You're just...you.
Joel sighs. It feels like you've disappointed him and it swirls in your gut. "I'll take a look at it this week."
Your neck cracks audibly with how quickly you look up at him. "What? No, Joel, you don't have to --"
He says your name in a tone that you know means no arguing. "I know I don't have to. I offered."
"You don't even know me!" The words fly from your mouth before you can stop them.
He brings his horse to a full stop so quick you almost run into him.
"Look," he says. His gaze holds yours. Wow, he really can be intimidating when he wants to be. You can only imagine the things he's done, the things he's capable of. Anyone who has made it this long has blood on their hands. You've washed it from your own skin plenty of times. And yet, you feel completely safe. And you know that you'll probably do whatever he tells you. "I know how it can be."
Your gut swirls. "You don't know what I've been through," you say softly. It's not a jibe, it's just the truth. No one knows because you've told no one because it doesn't matter. You're here now.
"I've been alive for a while longer than you," he continues. "I've seen the world, just as you have. I've been out here. I was out here for a long, long time." He runs a hand through his beard, fiddles with his broken watch in what looks like reflex. "I know how hard it is to ask. To get back to something that makes any damn sense. But you can if you try."
The words linger in the chill around you. He's right, obviously. He's so fucking right that you want to be mad. You haven't asked for anything because you don't want to fracture the good thing you've got. Don't want to be too much, to be a burden they can't support, to make people think you don't deserve to be in Jackson. All things that don't make any fucking sense, not really, but you can't stop them. It's just how you're wired.
"So I'm comin' over this week to fix those hinges. Alright?"
"Alright." Something in Joel softens when you agree.
"Good," he says. "Good."
You finish the patrol in comfortable silence. All told it's been nice. To talk to someone, to feel like they give a shit about you even for just a few hours. You have no doubt Joel will be over to fix your hinges but you figure it'll fizzle out after that -- it always does. You don't know how to ask someone to stick around, anyway. But even this little bit of him will have been worth it.
Something both loosens and tightens in your chest when you get back to Jackson and through the gates. Goodbye beautiful, horrible outside world, hello safety, community, home. It's a trade-off. You and Joel hop off your horses and return your rifles. You're about to hand Apollo off to be brushed and returned to the stables when you feel a hand on your shoulder.
Joel says your name and you turn around.
"Good job today," he says softly. "Not too excitin' of a patrol, but you're good out there."
You blink owlishly. "I-- thanks," you manage. "Maybe we'll get to go out again as a pair." You're showing your hand but you can't help it. You want more of whatever this was.
Joel's mouth pulls up at one corner. "Maybe."
___
Two days later you drag yourself out of the house for community breakfast. Most mornings you're out the door and at your work detail for the day before you can pop over but you don't have anything assigned today. It's a rare respite and it has you antsy. You don't remember how to be idle, aren't any good at it. Sitting in your empty house means your mind might wander to the thoughts you try very hard to keep at bay. The loneliness, the regret, the fear. The loss. It's always there and you've gotten better at dealing with it after so many years but some days you really just wish you could talk about it to someone, could just bitch and moan about how fucking awful this life can be.
But everyone is carrying their own shit and you don't need to add to it. You don't want anyone to have to carry yours, too.
Breakfast is quiet this morning. You settle at a table with your toast and your eggs and your potatoes and smile back at anyone who smiles at you but no one sits with you. If they did you don't know what you'd say.
But then the air changes. Your neck feels a little hot and you slowly look around until you see what's caused it -- Joel and Ellie are here. He's already looking at you when you meet his eyes and he smiles a little, a half-moon curve of his mouth, and nods. You wave.
Ellie waves back, which you don't expect. She says something to Joel and he frowns, rolls his eyes. She punches him in the arm and he flips her off and grabs two plates, starts to fill them. You smile down at your own food.
"Man, are the potatoes that fucking good today?"
You look up and find Ellie in front of you. You're pretty sure she's 16 or thereabouts, still growing into herself based on the way she shifts on her feet. Her right forearm has the outline of something floral. She notices you looking at it and crosses her arms, looking unimpressed. Ah, teenagers.
"Pretty okay," you tell her. "I don't know if we've met yet --"
"We kinda have," she interrupts. "I know your name and you know mine, so. And you're at the library sometimes when I check shit out."
This still does not explain why she's over here talking to you. You can see Joel in the breakfast line still, glancing over his shoulder every so often to see if she's still in the room. You try not to catch his gaze because you're a little afraid of what Ellie might read in it.
"Can I do something for you, Ellie?" you ask, not unkindly. She scrunches up her nose and then sighs.
"Joel told me not to bother you but I wanted to ask if you could look out for a book for me. At the library." Her words get faster as she reaches the end of her sentence. She takes a look at you, sees that you're not telling her to fuck off, or something, and keeps talking. Some book about the history of comics or something.
"Oh," you say. You feel a rush of affection for her and the fact that she can hold the record for headshots on a group patrol and still want to read about something she loves in her free time. "Yeah, I'll look for you. I don't have a library shift until tomorrow but I'll look and put it aside if I find it for you."
Ellie tugs on her fingers. "Don't you need to write it down or something?"
You smile at her. "No, I'll remember." You recite the title and author she just told you back to her and it seems to satisfy her. It's like a switch is flipped -- her earnest expression morphs into something you can only call mischief.
"So Joel's coming over to fix your doors, or whatever," she says. "How'd you crack him?"
"I--what?"
"You patrol with him once and he's coming over to your house," she says. "It took him like, weeks to laugh at one of my jokes. And I'm fucking funny!"
You have no idea what to say to that. Patrol with Joel was your first time talking to him and while he's a bit intimidating, sure, he never came off as anything other than...good. But you'd bet he wasn't always that way in this world. Maybe this girl in front of you had something to do with it.
And honestly, you're sure he just feels a little bad for you. He's nice enough to worry, to make sure everyone in town can do their part and you'll take what you can get even if it's temporary attention.
Part of you knows Ellie is just giving you a hard time because she's a teenager and you're kind of connected to the guy who looks after her so you're fair game, too. But she's talking to you like she wants to which is throwing you for a loop. And you're realizing it's been a long time since you actually wanted someone to like you. Well, Joel aside.
"You want to tell me one?" you ask. She looks surprised and then delighted.
"Oh, fuck yeah. Okay, let me think." You take another bite of your breakfast. "Okay, okay, I got it. What did the mermaid wear to her math class?"
You give it a few seconds before you shrug. Ellie grins. "An algae-bra."
Your laugh makes her grin bigger. "See? Fucking hilarious." She holds out her hand for a high five and you oblige. "Anyway, Joel's gonna come over tomorrow, I think. Seriously, dude, I don't know how you did it. He never used to be this nice!" She looks over her shoulder at the man in question. He's sitting down at another table. "He's getting soft."
Her voice is fond and you're pretty sure she doesn't notice. "You should go eat your breakfast, Ellie," you tell her.
She sighs like the weight of the world is on her shoulders. "Yeah, I'm fucking hungry. Let me know if you find that book!"
"I will," you call after her. You can't help but watch as she barrels back to her table with Joel and immediately makes an attempt at his bacon. He fends her off with his fork before surrendering a piece with a scowl.
He looks up and catches your eye again. You stand with your tray and nod at him, turning around before you can see his expression. Stupid, so stupid to be caught looking like that. But you can't help it -- looking at the love still alive in this shitty world and wondering what it feels like.
___
You run into Joel on your walk home from the next day's shift at the library. You spent probably far too much of it looking for the book Ellie wanted but it was worth it because you've got it tucked under your arm. It feels like a small miracle but you're not one to question it.
Maybe it's the good mood you're in, but when you see Joel from behind you call out his name. He doesn't stop walking but turns his head like he heard something. When he spots you he does stop, waiting for you to catch up.
"Hi," you say, suddenly a little less brave.
"Howdy," he replies, amused. "I'm headed your way."
"You --" He lifts a toolbox you now realize he's carrying. "Oh, right. Hinges."
"I can come by another day if it's not a good time."
Joel could knock on your door in the middle of the night and it would be a good time. "No, ah. Now's good." He motions for you to lead the way even though he clearly knew where he was going. He must have asked Tommy.
It seems like everyone waves as you two head for your street. They call out Joel's name and he knows pretty much everyone. You feel a little self-conscious being seen with him like this -- you, pretty much a nobody in town through your own doing and Joel, beloved by all.
It doesn't stop until you're almost at your door. "You're popular," you say, trying to make it sound teasing. Instead, it sounds awed.
Joel runs his free hand through his beard. "Don't remind me," he grumbles. "Can't go for a walk without a damn conversation."
You pull out your keys and unlock the front door. There are plenty of people in Jackson who don't lock their doors but you can't shake the need. "Sounds difficult."
He chuckles and you feel it zing up your spine. It's nice to make him laugh. "Yeah, yeah. S'pose it's nice." The front door opens with a creak and you look at him sheepishly. His eyebrows touch his hairline. "They all like that?"
You nod. Joel whistles. "Christ," he says. "Alright." He follows you into the house. You try not to think about what he sees. You've tried to make it your own, just a little. Posters you traded for, books you've collected. You cleaned the whole thing top to bottom when you moved in but somehow it still looks a little un-lived in. You're working on it.
"Don't let me bother you," Joel says, getting on one knee with a grunt and prying open his box. "Probably need 'bout an hour to get 'em all. I'll holler when I'm done."
That's your cue to busy yourself with something, anything, but you don't want to. You want to talk to him, to watch him do whatever he's going to do, to soak up this time with Joel before he walks out the door and you go back to being acquaintances.
"What are you going to use?" you ask. He looks up, a little surprised, before pulling out a spray bottle and a rag. He shakes it at you.
"It's some sorta homemade shit one of the younger guys cooked up," Joel says. Somehow he manages to sound self-deprecating, like he thinks he should've thought of it first. "I think it's...soap? And cleanin' stuff? Fuck, I don't know." He huffs a laugh. "I know it works, though. Back in the day we'd use shit you could buy on the shelf." He stands with a grunt. "You old enough to know that?"
That gets you to laugh. "Yeah, Joel," you say. "I'm old enough to remember the hardware store."
His gaze feels a little different than before, like he's allowing himself to look. "Hmm," is all he says. "I'll just --"
You don't know how to justify shadowing him as he oils your hinges -- there's a joke there's somewhere -- so you don't. You grab a book from the shelf and settle on your couch and try your best to read but your mind wanders.
It's pretty clear that you have a crush on Joel. You've spent one patrol with the guy but somehow he's gotten under your skin. It's inconvenient but also...nice? A crush at the end of the world. The fact that you can still feel something so sweet, so juvenile after all you've seen and all you've done is almost laughable. And it's not like it's going to go anywhere -- you're sure Joel thinks you're too young for him, too green, and he's probably tripping over admirers in town. But you can let it be something to keep your days interesting until it fades.
It was hard enough to love yourself before the world ended for reasons anyone could understand. Societal pressures, stupid comparisons, things that don't matter at all now. Who has time to think about being loved when you're constantly faced with death? Feeling desired, feeling loved, feeling looked after isn't exactly top of mind. You're not even sure you remember how. You put one foot in front of the other and that's enough.
But wouldn't it be nice to be on the receiving end of affection from a man like Joel?
"All finished." You startle and realize you haven't turned a single page of your book. If Joel notices he doesn't say. He wipes his hands on a rag and eyes you. "Pretty sure I got all the doors."
You hop up from the couch and try to find your words. "I -- that's -- you're --"
"Thank you will do just fine," he says with a smirk. He tucks the rag in his back pocket and crosses his arms, leaning against the wall.
"Let me cook for you," you blurt out instead. "In exchange." You can make a few things fairly decently and making him something is another excuse to talk to him like this, to be on the receiving end of those eyes. "I can make chili. Does Ellie like chili?"
"Don't have to do that," he says kindly. "Helpin' you ain't a business deal. S'what people do here." He stands straight and heads for your front door, picking up his toolbox on the way.
"Joel," you say, snagging his sleeve with your fingers. You pull them back quickly and grab the book you brought home, holding it out for him. "Ellie asked me to look for this. Could you give it to her?"
He looks at the book the same way he looks at his kid. It's tenderness so raw you look away. "I will," he says softly. He tucks the book under his arm like precious cargo. "Thank you for findin' it for her." He clears his throat and looks at you, smirk back in place. "Wasn't so bad, was it?" he asks. You don't follow. "Havin' someone help you," he adds.
Your face feels hot. "I'll still cook for you," you say, opening the door. He shakes his head.
"You let me know if you need anythin' else, alright?" A quick smile and he's down the steps and back into the street, strolling back to his own home.
"I will." You say it to yourself and almost mean it.
___
You patrol a few more times over the next month but never get paired up with Joel. If you were a little braver you'd ask Tommy or the kid he's training to take over the schedule to put you two together but you don't. Instead, you wave at Ellie when you see her, nod at Joel from the other side of rooms where he's always talking to someone else. You let yourself enjoy the way your heart picks up at the sight of him and the thrill you feel after he smiles at you. It's a nice change to the boring, lonely routine you had before.
The doors in your house open and close silently.
Being outside is fine. You don't like it any more or any less, it just is what it is. Life at the end of the world continues on.
Until you have a bad patrol.
It's no one's fault and no one gets bit. You and your partner, Astrid, are tailing a buck that's wandering along your route. If you can shoot it you can load it on one of your horses and ride back together on the other. Winter is on its way and any extra meat helps.
You follow protocol. You're lining the deer up through the scope while she keeps watch. Just as you prepare to pull the trigger you feel it -- the pull of your gut telling you something isn't right. That feeling has kept you alive all these years so you lower the rifle and turn to Astrid just in time to see a stalker lunge out of the brush.
Its broken and jagged nails catch your shoulders and you go down hard enough to bruise. You can't hear anything over its snarls and the blood pounding in your ears but you do your fucking best. You wedge your forearm under its chin and try like hell to keep its mouth away from you. Your other hand somehow makes it to your belt and unsheathes your hunting knife and in one swift movement, you shove it into the soft jaw of the infected. Hot blood spurts over your face and you keep your mouth closed, shoving the corpse off you.
A gunshot has you whirling around and scooping up the rifle. You've got it ready to fire but you only find Astrid standing over a stalker corpse of her own, forehead bleeding and revolver smoking.
"You clean?" you ask her, eyes on her forehead. She nods.
"Shoved me into some thorns. You?"
"Yeah. Can we go home now?"
Your hands don't shake until you get back to Jackson. They tremble when you wash the blood from your face, your hair. You wish for just a second that you had someone to hold them, someone to tell you it's alright. Someone to talk to about how shitty your day was and how scared you were and how sometimes this life is so fucking exhausting and just when you think you're safe you're reminded that no one is safe anymore.
Maybe this is the kind of thing Joel was talking about. Asking for help.
The thought fades quickly. You can deal with this. You're just out of practice. You just got comfortable.
You go to bed as early as you can bear, closing your eyes and hoping for dreamless sleep.
You could only be so lucky.
You're no stranger to nightmares. Hell, who isn't? Usually, it's the same old shit -- people you've lost, fucked up things you've done, horrors you've seen. You know how to deal with it.
But this is the first time in a while you've got new nightmare fuel. The hot, rancid breath of the stalker and the agonizing sound of its moans. Your own choked gasps as you try with all of your strength to keep its rotting teeth away from you. Unlike reality, your dreams don't allow you to grab a hold of your knife and instead, you feel it take a chunk out of your neck, hot blood splattering your face and you have to just lie there as it bites and bites and bites --
You jolt upright with a small gasp. Necessity has taught you to wake silently.
"Fuck," you say to the empty room. No way you're going back to sleep after that. You swing your legs over the side of your bed and put your head in your hands. "Breathe. Breathe."
The sky is black through your windows. You have no idea what time it is but you stand before the lingering panic can take hold and make things worse. Fresh air will get the iron smell out of your nose. You dress in the dark in more layers than necessary but you want to stop shaking.
Jackson at night is quiet but there are always a few people around, always someone else who can't sleep. The sky is clear and the moon is bright and it smells like woodsmoke and the unique earthy feel of the valley. This is your home. So long as you have this you can get through it.
Your feet take you through the streets of houses, most of the windows dark. Just another lap around town and then you'll go home, try to sleep again.
Then you hear something. The gentle strum of an acoustic guitar weaving with the night air like a dream. A song from before, a song you recognize but don't know the name of, don't know the words. You wrap your arms around yourself and follow the sound down Rancher Street. If you find whoever is playing it you'll wave and walk slowly home.
Your breath catches in your throat when you see whose house it is. Joel is on the porch, rocking slowly and head leaning back, eyes closed as he strums. How did you not know he played guitar? It only makes sense that the hands that are capable of such violence can also make something beautiful. He can ruffle Ellie's hair and pull the trigger and fix your doors and do this.
Something in your chest tightens.
Joel's eyes open and land on you immediately. You realize how it looks -- you standing in front of his house in the middle of the night, watching him. But he stops his playing and calls out your name.
"Hey, you alright?" he says. You hover between taking a step forward and a step back.
"Couldn't sleep."
He shakes his head. "Can't hear ya," he says. "C'mere."
Step forward it is. Up the stairs and onto the porch that creaks a little under your boots. There's only one chair and a small table with a lantern on it. Wind chimes dangle over the railing and you drag your hand through them on instinct like a child with a toy.
"Sorry," you say softly.
"Only got one chair," Joel says. He's got one boot resting on his knee, guitar slung across his lap. He looks tired. "I'll go get another --"
You wave him off. "No, please," you say. "I'll stand. I'm too antsy to sit, anyway." If you sit down in a chair next to Joel Miller you might never get up.
He frowns but settles back into his seat. "You alright?" he asks again.
His gaze is a little too much. You feel silly all of a sudden, not sure how you got here. A fucking nightmare? God, you're ridiculous. You cross your arms and lean back on the railing and look anywhere but him.
"Couldn't sleep." Joel hums.
"Heard that one before."
He strums some more and you relax again despite yourself. "Sounds nice. Do you play a lot?"
"Sometimes," he says. "Old habit."
"It's a nice one. Better than walking the streets in the dark." Your tone is harsher than you mean it to be and Joel frowns.
"It's safe to," he says, as though your wellbeing is his personal concern. "Bit cold, though."
"Why are you out here then?" You're frustrated with yourself and taking it out on him just a little bit. The smell of blood fills your nostrils again and you press your fingertips into your crossed arms, hard, and close your eyes. Your breath stutters in your chest.
"Nightmares," Joel says wryly. There's some shifting, the scrape of wood on wood and you open your eyes. His are fixated on your fingers and you stop squeezing. The guitar is now leaning up against the house and he's got his elbows on his knees like he's about to ask you a serious question. The lantern light makes his hair look darker, less silver, but it also makes the lines on his face look deeper. You wonder what kind of shit he's seen. What things he has nightmares about.
"Had this conversation with Ellie a million times," he huffs, rubs his hand through his beard in what you now consider a familiar gesture. "You don't need to talk if you don't want to. But can't hurt."
Is he asking you to talk about your nightmare? Does he actually want to know? Do you know how to talk about it?
"I take it you're a fountain of emotional sharing, huh?" Again, the misplaced frustration. You don't know how to turn it off.
His eyes flash but he just leans back in his chair and shrugs. "Depends on the day."
The low-level hum of your infatuation with him flares and your traitorous brain bats it down right away. You want to see all sides that he can offer you, want to make him frustrated and angry just to see if that'll make him sick of you.
You run your hand through the wind chimes again, watching your fingers move through the air. You remember what the knife felt like in your hand, the way the blood was hot as it dripped down your wrist and onto your face.
"Tough patrol," you say. "Messiest since I got here." Joel says nothing and you don't look at him. "I...it was fine. We got jumped by some stalkers and it was fine but...close. And I -- I didn't realize how badly I wanted to come back here until then. How badly I wanted to go home at the end of it. Does that make sense?"
You finally look up and Joel's knuckles are white on the arms of his chair. When he sees you looking he crosses his arms. "Sure," he says, clears his throat.
The urge to try to explain more is overwhelming. "I mean, we've all done fucked up shit. I've been up to my elbows in infected guts and still come out on top and slept like a rock the night after. And all of a sudden I can't fucking handle a stalker getting in my face. It's like I've never had to get my hands dirty before and what if it means I'm going to fuck up next time --"
"Hey," Joel says firmly. You feel a hand on your forearm and realize you've been pacing, arms flailing as you rambled. He gives it a squeeze and then releases you. "Feel like I gotta say fuck now to catch up with you."
A wet chuckle works its way out of you. Where did that come from? Are you about to cry? On the porch of the man you have a stupid, stupid crush on? This is embarrassing. And his touch. People touch you all the time, all things considered. A tap on patrol indicating silence, a hand on your arm to get your attention, to brace you as you lift something. Children in town who don't know the horrors outside the walls give affection freely. Hell, Joel touched your shoulder after your patrol. You're not touch starved but you feel like no one has touched you with tenderness and meant it in years.
"Sorry."
Joel tuts. "C'mon," he says. "I asked."
"I don't think I feel any better."
He stands and grunts as he does so. He's so much closer than before, so close you can smell what you can only describe as Joel: wood shavings and gunpowder, laundry soap and leather. It's a little dizzying. He leans on the railing next to you.
"Bet when you go back to bed you won't dream," he says. "Usually what happens."
"Here you are again," you sigh. "Helping me out. I promise I get on just fine on my own."
"I know," he says. His eyes are warm and so, so deep. "Don't have to, though."
Joel, for all his kindness and popularity in town, is a man just like any other. A person who has seen and done shit that no one should have to see and do. You know he's got his fair share of secrets, of things he won't talk about. You all do. You know he can be unflinching and maybe even cruel, dangerous and deadly. Whatever is happening here -- this openness, this desire of his to help you out -- is hard won. You think about what Ellie said and let yourself have a dangerous thought: maybe he's this way with you because he wants to be.
You sway into him just a little before catching yourself and standing up straight. "I should go try that dreamless sleep," you say softly. "And you should, too." It does not escape your notice that you haven't talked about Joel's nightmares, whatever they are. You don't think he'd be that open. A piece of you imagines a world where you ask and he answers.
"I might," he says. Neither of you move.
That small piece of you would stay here all night. That small piece of you tries for the next best thing.
"Will you let me cook for you now?" you ask. It sounds a little desperate to your own ears. "Please?"
"Persistent, ain't you?" He taps his closed fist on the railing once, twice. "Well, if it's that important to you. Chili, you said?"
"I can have it done by sundown tomorrow. I'm on greenhouses but we always finish early. You can come by and get it. I'll do enough for you and Ellie for a few days." You're rambling but finally he's going to let you do something for him. Hinges, nightmares, it's too much. Maybe you can somehow cook out this affection for him, get rid of it with your own hands if you try hard enough.
"Alright," Joel says. He puts his hand on your shoulder lightly and squeezes once. You feel it all the way down to your toes. "Now get outta this damn cold."
He doesn't offer to walk you home. You'd say no if he did. You need the time to sort out the mess in your mind. You give him the most earnest smile you can manage and he watches from his porch until you turn out of sight.
__
Joel is on your mind all day. More so than usual, which is saying a lot. The crush has turned into something...more. Something that makes you hope and that something is dangerous. It's just setting yourself up to be hurt through no fault of Joel's when it goes nowhere. Because why would he be thinking about you?
"You're smiley today," Dina says. She's a sweet girl and you're paired together on greenhouse shift today. She's always got a story to tell about plants she and her sister saw in New Mexico or some weird mushroom she found on group patrol. You love how positive she is and you try to absorb some.
"Am I?" you say lightly.
She tugs on one more cucumber, putting it in your shared basket before wiping her face. She gets dirt on her nose. It makes her look young. "Got big plans?"
Your face feels hot. "Just cooking for a...friend." It's the first time you've said that out loud. It's probably true, right? Acquaintance, at least. Joel is important to you and it's taken an alarmingly short amount of time for it to solidify. That's just how the world works these days -- you never know how much time you have so everything moves faster. You care harder despite years of proof that nothing good comes of it. You can't help it. You were made to leak love like an open wound.
"A friend," Dina teases. Teenagers. You remember that she's friends with Ellie and it's very possible she knows exactly what you're talking about but she's too kind to say anything more.
"Yep," you say, popping the p. "Do I have to start teasing you about Jesse or are you going to cut me some slack?"
"Well, hey," she laughs. "I think it's nice to be excited about something. You're so serious all the time."
"Am not," you mutter.
Something you appreciate about Dina is that despite her age she knows when to leave it. "Whatever you say," she says primly.
Once work is over and you're back home the cooking goes quick. You focus just enough considering you want this to actually be good and for Joel and Ellie to like it. It's thank you chili, it's you are important to me chili, it's I want to see you every day for the rest of my life chili.
Well. It's thank you at the very least.
And food, especially in this world, means something extra. There's enough to go around in Jackson, more than enough, but anyone taking the time to fix something with their own hands means more. You know how different a meal can taste when someone makes it with care.
And to say you care is a bit of an understatement.
The chili is simmering and you're about to start on the dishes when there's a knock on the door.
"Shit," you say. You wipe your hands on a towel and pad down the hall in socked feet. When you open it you find Joel bathed in the golden light of the sunset. His hands are tucked in his pockets, the collar of his coat turned up to protect his neck from the chill that's settled in for the season. His face softens at the sight of you but his shoulders are still tight. Is he...nervous? No, you're projecting.
Here he is on your doorstep again. If you're not careful you'll get used to him being there.
"Sorry for bein' a bit early," he says at the same time you say, "I was just thinking about you ."
The tension melts out of him and he smirks like a man with a secret. "That so?"
Your eyes are wide as you find your words. Hopefully ones that aren't embarrassing. "Come in," you say. "I'm letting the heat out."
He follows you to the kitchen. "Smells good," he says.
"It's not quite done yet but that's a good sign, I guess." You stir the pot before rolling up your sleeves and taking your spot in front of the sink. "Sorry it's a bit of a mess, I was about to start on this --"
"Now I know you ain't about to do all that yourself," Joel drawls. It's a syrupy tone you haven't heard from him, not really. Is he...flirting with you?
"I...what?"
"Scoot," Joel says. He steps beside you in front of the sink and gently bumps your hip with his. "Seriously."
"Joel--"
"Does it look like I'm kiddin'?"
He keeps his eyes on yours as he shrugs off his jacket, tosses it on this island, and rolls his shirtsleeves up to his elbow. You look away from him so you can watch.
"This is getting ridiculous," you tell him even as you hop up to sit on the counter closest to the sink so you can see his face. He turns on the tap and starts on the various things in the sink even though some of them are clearly not from cooking tonight. "You'll be sick of this chili before I can pay you back."
"I told you it ain't like that," he scolds. "So quit it."
There's no real bite to his tone but you do as he says all the same. You kick your feet out a few times and do your best not to stare but fail miserably. The fall sunlight seems to have followed him into your house, pinkish-golden beams falling across his face. You can see a triangle of chest at the top of his shirt, a few dark curls teasing the hair on him. The scar on the bridge of his nose is much harsher up close, much deeper than the countless other ones that dot his forehead, his temples. He doesn't look as tired today. Maybe he got some sleep after all.
So did you. You didn't dream.
"How was your day?" you ask. Joel's eyes flick up to yours for just a breath before he looks back down at his task. His mouth pulls up at the corner.
"Fine," he says. "Had to fix the water heater at Ellie's place."
A piece of hair falls in his face and you shove your palms under your thighs so you don't brush it back.
You tap his denim-clad thigh with your socked foot, almost like a compromise with yourself when it comes to touching him. "And that took all day?" Damn, are you the one flirting now?
Joel seems amused in a grumpy way. "Well, no," he says. The faucet is on so he speaks a little louder. "Did some house chores. Worked on a guitar. Took a nap."
The image of Joel sprawled out on a couch is clear as day. You bet he looks relaxed in his sleep, the lines on his face not as pronounced, his breathing steady and even.
"Busy day," you say softly. He's about to say more, lips parted to ask about your day, maybe, but you're not about to admit that you spent all day thinking about him so you keep talking before he can. "Does Ellie like living in the garage?"
"Think so," he says. "She spends a night in the house every so often but I think she likes havin' her own space. S'important to me to give her that."
This is uncharted territory. You desperately don't want to step in shit, to somehow make him bring his walls back up. Everyone is protective of the things they love in this world and for good reason and you're pretty sure there is nothing and no one Joel loves more than Ellie.
"She's a good kid," you offer. "Everyone in town loves her."
Joel smiles down at his hands, that soft, raw smile you've seen a few times when talking about her. It makes your chest ache. "She is," he admits. "Pain in my ass, too."
You want so badly to ask him the details. How did they meet? How did they get here? How did they become so devoted to one another? And what happened in the last twenty years to get him to right now, washing dishes in your kitchen?
But you haven't earned that stuff yet. Maybe you never will.
"Does she like Jackson?" You remember what he said about them settling in, sleeping in the living room with their shoes on. You imagine he kept watch for weeks, maybe months, before deciding it was safe.
He nods. "S'good for her to have friends. And havin' school is good for her. She's real smart." He clears his throat. "And you? D'you like it?"
"Well, I like it much better now that my hinges don't squeak."
Joel laughs. "I'll bet you do." He's almost done, everything from your chili-making washed and set aside to dry. He's doing your dishes from breakfast but shows no signs of stopping."Do you cook like this a lot?
Your brows furrow. "I-- no, actually," you admit. "It's just me, so. Not worth putting in the effort that often."
He turns off the tap and grabs a towel and starts to dry. You should offer to help but you feel frozen to the counter. If you get any closer to him you might snap. His jaw is tight.
"When Ellie and I --" he stops, takes a moment to focus on the bowl in his hands. Joel, you've noticed, doesn't tend to say things he doesn't mean, at least not to you. It's like he knows that every word counts in a life as unpredictable as this. "We had a bit of a rough patch last year and we didn't talk for a while. I was damn near eatin' canned veggies on days Tommy didn't drag me to the community meals." He sighs and sets the bowl on the counter ever so gently. Violence and tenderness go hand in hand with him. "Just didn't have it in myself to try cookin' if she wasn't there to eat it."
It's the most vulnerable thing he's said. He keeps doing this -- offering you pieces of himself that you want to hold close, that make you think maybe he wants you to know him.
"Joel--"
"I guess what I'm sayin' is it's easier to take care of yourself when you're also takin' care of people who matter to you. That make sense?"
"Yeah," you breathe. "It does."
The whole scene is so...domestic that your chest aches. Joel in your kitchen doing your dishes. He's helping you yet again but this feels different. It feels like he wants to be here, talking to you. It feels real.
He finishes his task and dries his hands on a faded towel. You hop down from the counter to check the chili. "Should be done," you say. "Do you want to try it? Make sure it's worth it?"
"Oh, it's worth it," he mutters. You work to keep your face neutral. What does that mean? "Sure."
You pull a spoon from the drawer and while it would make more sense to just hand it to him you don't. Instead, you dip it into the steaming liquid and hold it out for him, your other hand cupped underneath to catch any spill. Joel stares at your offering for a few seconds and you wonder if he can hear your heart beating.
Then Joel reaches out slowly like he's afraid you'll bolt if he goes too fast, and lightly wraps his hand around your wrist. It's the first time he's touched you skin to skin and you know immediately that it's a mistake.
You'll never stop wanting him now.
His palm is warm, callused fingertips pressing gently into your skin and he tugs, bringing the spoon -- and you -- closer to his mouth. Everything moves in slow motion for a few moments and it's like you are the only two people in the world. Your kitchen fades and it's just Joel. His lips part and he slides the spoon into his mouth at the same time as his thumb strokes the inside skin of your wrist.
It's very possible that you gasp a little.
He closes his eyes and you're torn between watching his face and his throat as he swallows. You could look at him forever, you think, and never get enough. The set of his brow, the hard line of his jaw. Lines around his eyes and mouth from years of terror and violence but also from laughter and smiles. You want to learn every inch of him if he'll let you.
"Christ," Joel says. His eyes fly open and find yours. "That's good. That's real good."
"You're just saying that," you say weakly. He hasn't let go of your wrist and his thumb strokes once again. You wonder if you realize he's doing it.
Something in his face changes, something so small that you only notice because you're watching. It feels like he has decided something and you wish you knew him well enough to say what. You dare to hope it has to do with you.
"Oh, sweetheart, I'm a good liar but I ain't just sayin' that."
Sweetheart. It echoes in your ears, burrows its way into your chest and takes root.
You're so fucked.
But there's something in Joel's gaze, in the brush of his thumb across your skin, in the fact he's just done all of your dishes and talked to you like he wants to be here that gives your traitorous heart some ground to stand on.
You send him home with as many glass containers of chili as he'll take. He argues that you won't have enough for yourself and manages to convince you to keep a few. You don't tell him that what you really want is to sit next to him at a table and eat it, knees bumping under the wood and his smile making your empty house feel warm.
"Tell Ellie I say hi," you say once he's out your door and on the porch. "And let me know if she likes it."
"Will do," Joel says. You hug your arms around yourself against the chill. He frowns slightly.
You wonder if he'd touch you if his hands weren't full.
"And thank you for--"
He shakes his head. "Not acceptin' thanks," he chides. "Not from you."
You don't know what to say to that. Joel seems to realize he's rendered you speechless, not for the first time, and nods his head before heading home.
"See you around, Joel," you call after him. It sounds half like a question and half like a wish.
He turns. "Countin' on it."
___
You do see him around but not as much as you'd like. Things pick up around town before the seasons can change and send Wyoming into winter. You find yourself in the kitchen most days helping seal jars for the community food stores, hands chapped from the hot water and heart light when you think about Joel. He nods at you from across the dining hall, opens the door of the library when you're going in and he's coming out, and tells Ellie to tell you how good the chili was when you share a shift at the stables.
"Fucking amazing," she says.
You sleep fairly well, going to bed each night with a little bit of lightness in your heart that you allow because why not? There's no way out short of Joel telling you to fuck off and you don't think that'll happen. If only you could get over yourself a little more and actually do something about it.
As much as you want to keep telling yourself that this -- glances across rooms, smiles from a distance, memories of his hand on your skin -- is enough, you're not sure that it is. The force of your want is destabilizing considering the most that's happened is maybe a little bit of flirting. But maybe this is you taking his direction to ask for...no help, not exactly, but to ask for something. To ask for him.
Today you're going on patrol. You decide as you mount your horse that you're going to ask Joel if he wants to get a drink when you get back. You want to talk to him again, let him under your skin a little more. Maybe tell him some things about yourself. Sometimes he's milling around the gate or on wall duty but you don't see him as you and your partner -- a fairly new kid in his twenties -- take your rifles and head out. You're on an easy route today, just clearing out the town over the hill and the highway exits near Jackson. Shouldn't take you more than a few hours.
It goes to shit fairly quickly.
The kid -- Conner? Charlie? You can't remember -- is rambling about the infected he's killed for some reason when you realize something isn't quite right. You can't hear any birds. Apollo snorts and it sounds panicked. You motion for the kid to stop talking but he either ignores you or doesn't see.
He sure shuts up when the clicker bursts out of a house to your left. Apollo startles and rears at the moment you reach for your gun and you can't grab hold in time.
You go flying, bouncing off a rusted-out car and landing hard on the broken pavement of the street with a popping sound. There is a pain in your shoulder so intense your vision whites out. The kid is shouting, the clicker is making that awful sound, but then you hear two gunshots and nothing else.
"Holy fuck," he says, rushing over to you. "Fuck, are you okay?"
Well, for a talker, this kid a good shot.
"Get the -- horse --" You roll onto your back with a groan and he grabs Apollo and settles him.
"What happened?"
You stare up at the sky, blue turning purple. It'll be sunset soon and you very well might be fucked if this is what you think it is.
"I think my shoulder popped out," you say through gritted teeth. Your head doesn't hurt like you smacked it and your side is only a little sore. Maybe some bruised ribs. Your hands are scraped, blood beading on the heels of your palms. "Help me up."
"Holy shit." He helps you sit up and then stand, your left arm hanging limp at your side. You hiss through your teeth as it gets jostled and lean heavily on the car. "You don't look so good," he says. "Can you ride? We should only be a half hour out of town."
"I...don't think so." You're pretty sure you'll pass out from the pain and this kid doesn't look like he can handle that. You don't want to fuck up the joint any more than you have to. "You're going to have to go back and bring someone to set it for me, okay?"
"But the rules say --"
"I know what the fucking rules say," you snap. Don't let your partner out of your sight. Your shoulder is throbbing and you might cry but not until this kid is on his way back to town. "That's why you're going to go as fast as you can, alright?"
"We should at least clear a building first so you can --"
"No time," you say, looking at the sky. "If we want to be back before nightfall you need to go now. I'll handle myself."
You really should know his name. He sets his jaw in a move that reminds you of Joel which causes a pang in your chest so intense you want to rub it away. "I'll clear that garage, okay?" He points behind you and before you can stop him he runs towards it with his gun out.
Lucky for both of you it's clear. You take Apollo inside and slump against the wall, pistol in your hand. The kid closes the garage door behind him and you hear the clop of his horse as he gallops away.
"Fuck," you say into the empty room. It's dusty and full of cobwebs and not much else. Empty metal shelves, a rusted-out lawn mower, some tarps so ratted they're useless. Apollo snorts. "Not your fault, buddy."
Death has been nipping at your heels for twenty years now. You've always expected it. And you're fairly certain you won't die out here. Maybe end up spending a night on this floor, having to walk yourself back to Jackson tomorrow morning. But you can't help the fear that rises in your throat. You know how an injury like this means so much more in this world. You won't be able to work for weeks. You won't be able to patrol, to pull your weight.
You're going to need a lot of help.
You close your eyes against the stinging tears and thud your head against the wall.
The pain dulls the embarrassment you feel when you catch yourself thinking of Joel. You wish he was here. If you'd been on patrol together this wouldn't have happened. You wonder what he's going to think of this.
What you'd really like is for him to hold you and tell you it'll be alright.
A few tears slip down your nose. Apollo noses at your knee.
There are no windows so you don't know how much time has passed. You start to question if this was the right call. Maybe you could have made it back on horseback, or at the very least slung across the back of Apollo like a sack of flour, arm be damned.
Your traitorous brain is about to remind you of all the things that go bump in the night out here when you hear something. 
Someone is calling your name. Yelling it.
"Here!" you scream. Apollo whinnies. "I'm here!" You have no idea if they can hear you. You press your good shoulder into the wall behind you and try to push yourself to your feet but just as you do the garage door is hauled open and there stands --
Joel.
A sob bursts from your throat and you will yourself to pull it together. Behind him the sky is much more orange than it was when you first sat down.
Joel's eyes look you up and down once before cataloging the space and locking on some milk crates. He stacks two of them.
"Sit," he says. His voice is tight.
"Joel --"
"Sit."
You do as he says. He kneels at your feet and rummages around in his bag. His horse stands munching on some overgrown grass on the driveway. Did he come alone?
"How are you here --"
Joel cuts you off with a glare. His eyes are blazing, jaw grinding as he holds out a length of bandage.
"Hold this." He stands and his knees crack. "Kid said it's your shoulder. Anything else?"
The throb is still deep, still intense, but his arrival almost made you forget all about it. You shake your head.
"Didn't hit your head? Crack ribs? Nothin' like that?"
"No, I don't think so --"
"Need you to sit up straight," he says. There's no warmth in his tone but it's a little softer now that he's taken stock of the situation. "I ain't gonna lie to you, this is going to hurt like hell." He digs in his pocket for something and pulls out a square of leather. "Need you to bite down on this."
He squats so that you're just about face to face and holds out the leather. It feels like being in your kitchen, you holding out the spoon and fighting your desire to touch him. Except this time he won't look you in the eye. You open your mouth and he gently places it between your teeth, thumb catching the corner of your lips and trailing along the edge of your chin before he pulls away and stands up.
"I'm going to reset it on three, alright? Bite down hard on that." He finally meets your gaze and you nod and close your eyes. He puts one hand on your shoulder and the other on your wrist and you wince even though you feel incredibly safe in his hands. "Alright. One...two --"
Joel jerks your arm up and around before he hits three and you barely hear it pop back into place because, as he said, it hurts like hell. You bite down hard on the leather which also serves to muffle your scream.
Someone is talking to you."I know, baby, I know. Good job, you did a good job."
You open your eyes and wipe away a few tears with one hand and pull the leather from your teeth. Joel looks pained but his face snaps back to neutral when he sees you watching. His eyes narrow.
"Where did that come from?" He gently grabs your wrist and looks at your palm and you both find it bloody. "Got it on your face."
"Scraped my hands when I fell," you say hoarsely. He clicks his tongue.
"Give me that bandage." You don't even get a chance to hand it to him because he plucks it from your lap. "Gonna make this into a sling for this arm. Try not to move it much. Then we'll clean those hands and head home. Get you to the clinic for some meds." He gently positions your arm, which hurts a lot less than before but is still throbbing, and ties a sling so it's bent close to your chest. You can feel his breath on your neck as he does the knot.
And then he's back crouching in front of you.
Joel Miller on his knees for you so many times in one day makes you a little dizzy. Or maybe that's the adrenaline.
"Are you angry with me?" you ask softly as he wipes clean your palms and cheek with firm touches. The muscle in his jaw twitches again and his hands freeze for a split second.
"No," he says. "I ain't mad at you. I just can't believe the fuckin' kid left you here."
"I told him to."
"Can't believe that either. You know better."
"It's fine, Joel," you say. "It doesn't matter. I would have just walked back in the morning if no one came --"
He pulls his hands away and tosses the rag to the floor. "Damnit, it does matter," he curses. "'Course it fuckin' matters. Cut that shit out."
Now you're confused. It sure seems like he's angry with you. "Joel, I don't understand --"
His hands cradle your face and the protest dies in your throat. "You matter to me," he says thickly. His eyes are wide but his stare is steady. "Ain't it fuckin' obvious?" Anger and desperation are dripping from his words. "It matters."
For one long second you think he's going to kiss you. Now that might kill you.
You wrap one hand around his wrist and lean into his palm. A thousand thoughts swirl in your head but you focus on one. Joel is here which means you're safe. Joel is here which means he's going to take care of you. Joel is here. Joel is here. Joel is here.
"Oh," you breathe. You turn your face in his palm and press your lips to the center of it. His breath hitches and it feels like something big between you shifts, slots into place. "Okay," you say against his skin.
He pulls his hands away and stands. He works his jaw a few times before shouldering his pack and holding out his hand. "Let's go home," he says.
You stand with his help. "I think you'll need to help me get on my horse."
"Not a fuckin' chance," he growls but you can still see tenderness in his eyes. "Can't hold on well enough with one arm. We're ridin' together."
This Joel is one you haven't seen. But this is what you wanted, right? You want to see every part of him. Something molten and heavy sits in your stomach at how tense he is, how his hands remain gentle despite his harsh words. How he just told you that you matter to him. Maybe this is all a dream.
He helps you on his horse and then gets on behind you, tying Apollo's reigns to his so you won't lose him. He wraps one arm right around your stomach, mindful of your arm.
"Ain't gonna be comfortable," he says in your ear. "But it'll be over quick."
You lean back into him. Hell, it's all on the table now. If your arm is going to hurt you might as well enjoy your time pressed against him.
"Oh, I don't know," you say. "This isn't so bad." He snorts and snaps the reigns.
He talks low and steady in your ears as you gallop, his palm firm on your abdomen to keep you as still as possible though it's a hopeless venture. Your shoulder aches, sends sharp tendrils of pain through your entire arm with every stride.
He tells you that he was on the wall when your partner came back alone. That he knew something was wrong with you as soon as the kid came into view. He'd seen the patrol assignments and knew you were paired together. Kid didn't know what flag to use to signal his approach because you're not supposed to leave behind your partner.
Joel tells you how he hopped down from the wall and asked the kid where exactly he left you. Demanded to know how hurt you were, if you'd been bit. He was on a horse before anyone else could get their shit together, told them to get Tommy and have the clinic ready for you. Started hollering your name as soon as he got to the street, rifle ready for any infected to show up.
"Damn miracle when you yelled back," he says just as Jackson comes into view. You're sweating and dizzy from the pain, practically all of your weight slumped back into his chest. "Almost there, sweetheart. Doin' real good."
The rest of it is a blur. Joel takes you to the clinic where he becomes increasingly agitated that he set your shoulder wrong until one of the staff says he did it just fine. They give you a real sling and one painkiller to take if you hurt really bad, despite some harsh words from Joel in an attempt to get you more.
"Don't move it above your head for two weeks. Keep the sling on for that time, too. Ice it today, start moving it back and forth a few times in a few days. You got someone to help you for a bit?"
Before you can open her mouth Joel answer for you.
"Yes." The nurse hides her amusement well. She lets you go. Joel keeps his hand on your back as he walks you to your house.
You stop him when you get to your front door. "Joel --"
"If you're about to argue with me, so help me God, I'll --"
"I was going to ask if you need to go check on Ellie." You pull out your keys and after a second hold them out for him. Maybe letting Joel help you is helping him, too. You can handle that. You think.
"Told Tommy to when I left. I'll go home once we get you settled."
We.
"Okay," you say softly. He unlocks the door and motions for you to go in. You sit gingerly on the couch and Joel brings you a glass of water.
And then he paces. He looks at the books on your shelf without seeing them and rubs his thumb against his first two fingers over and over. And all of a sudden he won't look at you.
"Joel, sit down or something," you grumble. "You're making me nervous."
He stops. "Fine." His tone has a bit of bite to it that makes you close your eyes. There's an armchair in the room but he sits next to you instead. He presses his knee to yours, almost in apology.
The adrenaline has faded by now and all you feel is the ache of your shoulder and ribs and rawness of your palms and heart. The shoulder hurts like hell but in a way all of this hurts deeper, harder than that. In the way you know love, or the beginning of it, can hurt.
You sniffle.
Truth is you're overwhelmed. By what happened, by Joel coming to get you and saying all that shit. By him touching you, by him being here, by your own heart beating so quickly at his nearness. Even though you dared hope he felt something close to your affection for him it's a shock to realize he cares about you because you're you, not just because he's a good man. You've always wanted love that came from a place of purpose, which feels selfish on the best of days. You should just accept whatever kindness comes your way in this cruel world.
But, fuck, you've always wanted to feel chosen. Like you matter.
And you do. Right here, you do. From his own lips he's said you do.
You don't even realize you're crying until Joel curses softly and one wide, warm palm is on your face again.
"What's wrong? You hurtin'?" His thumb swipes at your tears. "Talk to me."
"I'm fine." You press your face into his shoulder and he holds you, hand soft on the back of your head. "I'm just -- I'm just really glad you're here, Joel."
"Course I'm here," he says into your hair. "C'mere."
There's nowhere for you to go considering you're already pressed against him. But his arms come around you fully, mindful of your shoulder, and your fingers fist in his shirt.
You should be embarrassed. On the scale of fucked up shit that's happened to you, today is remarkably low. But you let yourself have this. You breathe him in and let him hold you.
"I was going to ask you to get a drink tonight," you mumble. His chest vibrates with laughter.
"That so?" he says. His hand rubs up and down your spine. "Reckon I'd say yes."
You pull back just enough to see his face. This close you can see how his eyes have a bit of gold in them. "Really?" Even with proof of his affection right in front of you it's a little hard to believe.
"Am I readin' this wrong?" he asks. "It's okay if I am--"
"No," you say quickly. "No, you're not."
"Thought so." His lips pull up at the corner just a bit. "But, still. You've had a real rough day, and --"
"Joel," you breathe. You free your good arm from your embrace and put your hand on his jaw. He's touched you plenty today and you want to give it a try yourself. His face is warm, his beard gently rubbing against your skin. His eyes flutter close for a breath before he opens them wide and leans into your hand just a little.
"Alright," he says softly. Then he says your name, just once, ever so tenderly. It sounds like a prayer.
Joel Miller kisses you in the middle of your living room. Despite the affection you've been nursing for him over the last little while you never allowed yourself to imagine what it would be like to kiss him.
It's like this: the first press of his lips is soft like he thinks you'll pull away. When you don't he takes your lower lip between his and presses a little harder. Your hand slides into his hair and he palms your hip with one of his and cups your face with the other. His tongue traces the seam of your lips and you open for him, let him lick into your mouth. You sigh into it and tug on his hair just a little. Joel makes a sound deep in his throat and then pulls away.
You're both breathing heavier than before, both smiling. Joel presses his lips to your forehead, your temple. He holds you against him and you breathe against the skin of his neck.
"Will you let me take care of you?" he says into your hair.
"For my sake or yours?"
You think he'll laugh but he just breathes. "Both," he says. "Hell, you know what's goin' on here. I showed my hand. Been showin' it." He pulls away so you can see the honesty in his face. "I told you in as many damn words as I know how."
He did. He did and you make yourself believe it. Love in this life is worth holding on with both hands. Whatever this is, whatever this is going to become, you want it. You want to let this man continue to teach you to ask for help. You want to learn from him, maybe teach him a few things of your own.
You want to love him. You think you could sooner rather than later.
You trace the line of his brow, run your fingertip over the scar on the bridge of his nose.
"Can you kiss me again?" you ask.
"What a fuckin' question," he says. "C'mere."
thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here!
1K notes · View notes
sunnyferr · 5 months
Text
A polyamorous relationship with them!
Op men!: kid/killer zoro/sanji law/luffy
WARNING: ReaderF! Polyamorous relationship NSFW, Contains homosexual relationships between characters!
Tumblr media
Kid/Killer
It's the most fun relationship you can have!
kid is your partner in pranks and dirty jokes, always up to mischief around the ship
but if you like quiet chats with a coffee, killer will always be there to listen to you, he's really good at listening and giving objective opinions
I remind you, they are very big, so their group hugs completely crush you.
I feel like killer is more into hugs, hugging you from behind and being there almost all the time.
kid is more into kisses, messy kisses with tongue in the middle, with his hands roaming all over your body
It's very sweet to see them share little kisses between the two
Sleeping with them is also a comical experience
I remind you for the second time, they each take up a king-size bed.
so you sleep on kid's chest face down, while kid holds you by the waist with one hand, and the other arm around killer (nice mental image)
sex with them is something wild and rough
Usually, the sessions last between 3 or 4 HOURS (a fallen soldier)
Kid always takes the lead, he's a dominant, and you're not going to take his place
killer, to be honest, is kind of the same, he can be sub or dom (although he does like being dom a bit)
Kid usually lets killer play with you while he's in the corner of the room, watching everything.
killer tends to praise you while biting and licking every inch of your skin
kid is more into saying things like "you little slut! do you like what killer is doing to your pussy, huh?"
the aftercare is very tender and sweet, well, kid tries to stay awake, as he usually falls asleep after 5 minutes.
killer is more about bringing you water and snacks if it was a long session, preparing a shower for all three (obviously having to drag kid into the shower)
Tumblr media
sanji/zoro
These two always seem to be arguing
like a couple who have been married for 50 years.
But they do love each other for real…just that it's a bit hard for them to admit it.
Usually, your time with Sanji is on some island, buying food (which was the main mission), but he ends up getting distracted by looking at dresses in the shop windows, saying you have to try them on RIGHT NOW.
On the other hand, Zoro loves it when you join him in his 30-minute naps while you're together hugging. He says it's cheesy and silly to be like that, but deep down, he loves it. Sometimes Sanji joins in (just because you told him to).
Sanji is always touching you (holding your hand, your waist, brushing your hair, etc.) because he can't stand being away from you. Even if you're right beside him, he always has to have you close!
Zoro is a bit calmer with that, but there are times he likes to tease Sanji, grabbing you by the waist and carrying you on his shoulder away from the cook.
But they also show affection to each other…giving each other little love pecks when you're not looking…and sometimes it escalates to something more.
Sleeping with them is a bit tricky (usually, Zoro is busy at night taking care of the ship, but let's pretend they almost always sleep together).
Usually, Sanji loves being in front of you and Zoro hugging you from behind, but problems arise when it's midnight…
It's a constant push and pull!
Sex is really exciting.
The rounds last for 2 hours (which is not short) but…
they leave you stargazing for hours!
Imagine leaning on the table, sharpening Zoro's sword and having a full view of your backside, while he hits your sweet spot
and meanwhile, Sanji is below, licking and sucking your clit while pleasuring himself
simply glorious
Sanji tends to be very loud, moaning and shouting Zoro's and your name
Zoro is more of a grunter and curses under his breath, but the occasional moan escapes him
The aftercare involves Sanji preparing some tea or some ointment to soothe any pains or discomfort, while Zoro pampers you with small kisses on your head until Sanji arrives and they nap together for a while
Tumblr media
Law/luffy
A very complementary relationship!
Luffy is like a little kid, you have to keep up with his mischief ALL THE TIME!
but it's really fun to follow him and play some pranks on Law, even though he might get mad afterwards and not talk to us for hours (it was worth it)
Luffy loves hugs! he's always with his arms stretched out hugging you and giving you uncontrollable kisses all over your face
Law is a bit more shy, especially in public, he'll shake your hand and that's it, but when they get home he tends to pamper them a lot.
Law really likes it when you two are in his room while he studies or works, seeing you cuddled up on the couch while you caress a nearly asleep Luffy, is something he loves about you
Sleeping with Law is not a problem… Luffy is
he tends to fall off the bed ALL the time, so now Luffy sleeps in the middle, lying on his back while you hug and kiss him
they don't usually have sex much… but it's still very rewarding
it usually lasts between 2 to 3 hours
Law is a fan of BDSM (NO ONE WILL MAKE ME THINK OTHERWISE) and SUB/DOM games
Luffy and you are the submissives, trying to please Law in various ways possible so he gives you your well-deserved "rewards"
An important detail is that Luffy is very inexperienced at first but gradually learns more, to the point where he'll try to be dominant with you (only sometimes)
They usually end up with a lot of moans and screams of passion among the three.
post-care is very important to Law!
he makes sure they've had enough water and gives massages in a specific place if they're in pain.
he would punish Luffy if he left too many hickeys (even if he did too) because it could be "dangerous"
but in the end, it always ends up being a good nap with lots of hugs and kisses (and Luffy's snoring)
587 notes · View notes
lainsshop · 8 months
Text
Dates With Him ౨ৎ
Tumblr media
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Tags: fluff, established relationship n probably more..
A/N: Another long work of mine, hope you like it cause.. I don’t know. If you have more date ideas please tell me and I’ll make sure to put them here!
Tumblr media
Oh, God, you probably already know what type of dates this man will suggest..
Well, of course, it’s gonna be classy, fancy and jazzy! This man only knows the classic type of dates, the “proper” way of taking your partner to dates, according to him that is.
Lots of dancing! It could be anywhere! He doesn’t care if people are watching you, he could just break their limbs if the people around y’all criticize you guys, especially if they judge you.
Even if you suck at dancing he will teach you! Don’t worries, what type of partner will he be if he didn’t. But if you do know how to dance then that’s even better! You two are stealing the dance floor in seconds, I promise you.
Fancy restaurants. Not the white fancy or the bright fancy ones, oh, nuh uh.. I’m talking about the ones with warm dim lights, brown; pearl white; gold n red color palate, good scented candles, soft jazz playing in the background or maybe a live group/solo playing, the finest servings, etc etc..
Yea, those type of restaurants that need a reservation and have a big ass price but don’t worry, Alastor will pay for everything even if you insist on paying too he would just-
“Nonsense, my dear! What kind of gentleman will I be if I let you pay?” You were gonna insist again but you knew he would still pay for it at the end so you gave up.
You just feel kinda guilty cause he pays for almost always pays for everything when you two go out to eat and even on things you want, he likes to spoil you..? You could say that but I don’t really know.
Jazz clubs! Oh, you two will always and when I say always I mean alwaysssss go to jazz clubs! Even before you became official, you two will always go to a jazz venue at least once a month. It became a tradition between you two at this point.
If you haven’t listen to jazz before, oh, you’re on a ride, this man will talk about it and probably even more genres of his era. He would recommend you one artist and then two and like ten and- you get the deal.
Book reading. Now there’s time where Alastor or you.. or both of you like to just stay indoors so sometimes you guys just stay at the hotels library and read. Just enjoying your guys presence, the fire crackling and the soft music in the background.
And when you get tired, he would absolutely read to you while you put your head on his shoulder. (He’s voice is so &;&:&: like it could put me to sleep, okay?😭)
Cooking or Baking. Well, I don’t know if Alastor knows how to bake but I will assume he does. He loves to cook or bake with you! It’s probably his top 3 favorite dates to do with you like.. you literally can do it at any hour, in the mornings, evenings, nights and even midnights like wow there.
If you don’t know how to bake or cook, oh, he would absolutely love to teach you. If it comes out wrong, he would def laugh a bit.. but don’t worries, it’s your first time after all, right? It takes times to learn something new!
Tumblr media
© LAINSSHOP 2024
747 notes · View notes
midnightorchids · 6 months
Text
Jason Todd headcanons
- he smokes a lot
- he listens to either really aggressive rap or rock music, however he does indulge in “softer” music here and there
- he’s pretty soft spoken except for when he’s angry. he has a short temper, so he gets annoyed really fast, but it takes a lot to actually make him angry
- he has all of his weapons on display in big ass frames and he’s named them all
- he’s a really good fighter - muay thai boy for sure
- speaking of which, i think if he had a day job, he’d probably coach some sort of martial arts or maybe be a gym instructor
- if he went to uni he would’ve studied english literature and would’ve have minored in a foreign language
- he has a scar on his lip (like toji from jjk) idk why tho (it’s just hot lol)
- uses humour to cope
- so so many death jokes
- he does not like coffee, he drinks tea
- definitely knows latin
- he wears jewelry, a thin silver chain and maybe a couple of rings
- he’s pretty handy… he can fix a lot of stuff. literally anything from cars to laptops to ikea furniture
- he has that white steak in his hair and he has a huge atopsy scar on his chest, he also has a faint scar on his neck
- roy calls him the walking dead
- he struggles with nightmares and they’re frequent. he needs a smoke break after
- he also has panic attacks and he doesn’t like being touched when he’s going through them, but he doesn’t like being alone. he needs to be reminded that he’s home, he’s alive, he’s okay and he’s safe
- he has blue light reading glasses but he only wears them at home when no one is there to judge him
- he likes cat videos
- he also sends cat memes in the family group chat
- OH and he definitely has a cat with a either a really dumb name or it’s named after his fav book character (cough cough mr darcy cough)
- he picks up damian from school sometimes, he complains, but in reality he really doesn’t mind. they talk about the books damian is reading in his english class
- he’s tall but he’s not 6’4 tall he’s more like 6ft or 6’1
- he’s a good cook definitely better than the other boys
- him and alfred cook together. this one time they cooked a really big batch of pasta and he took it to his old neighbourhood to feed the kids
- he’s pretty reckless and does not care about his safety at all, so he ends up pretty bruised up
- will ALWAYS try to one up dick. dick did a back flip? guess what jason did 20 back flips! dick took down two guys during patrol? yeah jason took down the whole damn team
884 notes · View notes
fraugwinska · 6 months
Note
Could you do a backstory to Hard Day? Like, how Al decided to give up control, and the first time it happened 🥺🙏
Ummm... well, I may have gotten myself a bit lost in this one :D Idk, It's gotten quite out of hand, 2,5 k words... but...um yeah :D Praying you like it :> Attention - we cook with Chili, not salt today! (MDNI)
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
The hardest Day
„That's so unrealistic! I mean, in what world would a lion eat bugs instead of the fucking fat juicy PIG?!“
„It's a kids movie, asshole, shut up!“
The gang was sprawled out in front of the TV, blankets and popcorn everywhere. Charlie got her hands on a rare copy of 'The Lion King', and invited everyone to a 'nice, unproblematic, quiet' movie night. She didn't account for Angel's constant commentary, Husk's annoyed retorts to him or Niffty's gleeful giggling at the most unfitting scenes. Vaggie, frustrated by them, started adding to the chaos, sending scolding remarks in intervals at either of them, while Charlie tried to mediate in between songs – which she always sang along with.
You, however, were highly entertained – even though you didn't catch anything from the movie, just watching them was amusing enough. The only one missing was Alastor, who had 'business to attend' and was gone since breakfast ended.
He would've hated it anyway, you knew he had no interest in movies, let alone modern ones, and group activities like these were often straining on his patience. Although getting in the hotel last, you were the one who grew the closest to him. Why? You couldn't say definitively. Maybe it was because you never took his veiled jabs by heart. Maybe because you didn't treat him the way the others wanted you to – with care, with ignorance, with suspicion; but instead with respect, an open mind and without judgment. Maybe it was because you could challenge him – discussions about books you both read could last hours, with points given to either side equally – no winner, no loser, both richer.
You liked Alastor. Really liked him. You also had a silly, little crush on him, for a while now, but you kept that to yourself, nothing going further than a few flirtatious moments 'in good fun', calling each other 'doe' and 'buck' with a laugh. A joke between friends. Friendship, you decided, was enough for you, if it was for him.
The entrance doors slammed suddenly, making you all jump in your seats. Alastor stood at the door, looking... different. Stressed? You cocked a brow when you saw his eye twitch, while he sauntered over to the group.
„Al, do you want to join us? We're watching a movie!“, Charlie said absent-mindedly, her eyes glued to the scene of 'Can you feel the love tonight'.
Alastor gave the TV set a judgmental smile and waved his hand. „Tempting, but it has been a rather hard day, I'll just take a drink and retreat to my room, dear.“ He left the group and went to the bar, your pair of eyes the only one following him. Something was NOT right. His smile was tight, his eyes wider than usual, his movements almost jagged instead of fluid. Niffty had jumped to the bar too, insisting on helping Alastor by retrieving a glass for his whiskey from one the higher shelves. In her eagerness to climb and get it, she didn't watch her steps careful enough, resulting in a few delicate wine glasses sliding from the shelfves and breaking into a hundred tiny pieces. Alastor's reaction was as unexpected as it was worrying – he always had a soft spot for Niffty, laughing over her antics and chaotic energy, often encouraging her even to produce more mayhem. This time, however, he started to scold the maid, who blinked at him with a big, guilty eye and trembling lips.
„Such indignation, really Niffty. Clean the shards at once, and try not to remain to be such a clumsy clot.“, he almost hissed, grabbing the bottle and a simple crystal glass before striding away hastily. Your eyes followed his figure until he turned the corner to the staircase, then you got up and comforted the little demon, helping her sweeping up the glass pieces while she sniffeled tears away.
You let your gaze swipe over the group, completely ignorant about what happened with Niffty, and Alastor. Ignorant of the blatantly obvious bad mood of the deer demon.
Turning to Charlie, you whispered to her that you had a headache and would be going to bed, to which she just nodded. No one acknowledged your leave, all eyes on the screen and still bickering noisily. A bunch of friends, you are, you thought annoyed with a shaking head.
Three flights of stairs later, you reached Alastor's room. You pressed your ear to the door, and heard dull bangs, like something was thrown, and a muffled voice. You knocked, and the room instantly stilled.
„Alastor, it's me.“, you said loudly, brows furrowed. „Are you okay?“
A few seconds of silence. „I'm just fine and dandy my dear.“
You put one hand on the door. He normally would open it, to speak with you directly, face uncomfortably close to face, just the way he liked it. But it stayed close.
„You didn't look fine.“, you stated. You were ever so stubborn.
„Well, I am fine. Now shoo, darling, good night.“
You stood in front of the wooden divider, contemplating. You could just go. Leave him be, wait until tomorrow. See if he would talk to you then. But then, there was your gut. And it told you Alastor wasn't well. And that just didn't sit right with you.
„Alastor. Please, let me in.“
No response, just hint of the prickling feeling of static electricity on your skin.
„I know something is bothering you, and I'm worried.“
No response. You breathe in and out.
„I'm not going anywhere until you open the...“
The door flew open, a hand wrapped around your arm and pulled you into the room, violently. You stumbled and fell against a bookshelf, catching the fall with your hands to keep you upright. You heard a slam and a click – door closed, door locked. The static was everywhere now, flushing in waves over your body. You turned around -
Alastor was pacing like a wounded animal, he seemed fluffed up, as if every hair on his body had decided to stand up. His scleras were dark pits, blackest black, and in it his irises burned angrily in crimson flames, now focusing solely on you. The prey.
„So you came to test my patience too, dear?“, he snarled, his voice so distorted it ached in your ears. „It's not enough that that waste of cables destroyed two of my radio towers. Not enough that dozens of my most profitable souls have been rendered useless by an angelic bomb. Not enough that I not only had to put the disgraceful flat screened wretch back in his place, but also his vulgar boy toy and their brazen, attention-seeking brat.“
He grew in size as he ranted, you watched him reaching the ceiling, antlers scraping along the walls. „I manage my weakening territories, manage these imbeciles who think they can play overlords, I manage this sad excuse of a hotel, I manage the princess's unattainable ideas, and now, I also need to manage you, too, of all people? What a disappointm...“
„Stop.“
You held up a hand. Alastor growled, fluffing up even more, limbs cracking and static popping. „How dare y...“
„Stop.“, you said again. Your tone was calm, void of anger, or fear, neutral and steady. He stared at you, and you held his gaze. „Breathe, Alastor.“
You saw him fighting with himself. He fought against his instinct to oppose, to command, to put you into your place, to rip you apart. His elongated claws scraped over the floor, ripping deep ridges in the wood.
„Breathe.“, you repeated, firmer this time.
Slowly, gradually, Alastor shrunk. Breathed. Crumbled. Until he was back to his usual size and form, only with an exhausted expression.
You studied him – you've never seen him like that. He never allowed anyone to see him as something other than 'the radio demon': Powerful, unshakeable, quick on his feet and always one step ahead. How exhausting it must be. To always have the control also meant to always carry responsibility, to always fear impending failure.
Your heart whispered to you, and you followed it's advice. It could be the most stupid thing you could do, but you decided to do it anyway.
„Come here, Alastor.“
He looked at you, unsure, suspicious. You sounded commanding, but not harsh. Inviting. Like a hand, reached out to someone trapped. For a moment, you almost thought you ruined everything – his eyes left yours, they fell to the ground as he shifted on his feet.
But then – steps. Coming closer. Stopping right in front of you. And suddenly..
His head on your shoulder. His breath on your neck. His voice in your ear.
„Sometimes I'm so sick of it all. Sick of maneuvering, sick of ruling, governing, planning...“
You touched his neck, he let you, caressing the soft skin, heated from his outburst, trembling slightly at the contact. It was intimate, baring this vulnerable part to you. You heart broke for him.
He pulled himself away from you, searching for your eyes. Finding them again, he took your hand, bringing it up to his face, guiding your fingers over his lips. He just said one word.
„Please.“
So much was said with this please. You heard every message. Giving up control, just for a bit, just with something he didn't care enough about to insist on ruling, could be a small bit of freedom. Letting himself be guided instead of leading.
“Kneel down, Alastor.”
His ears pressed flat against his head, but he did as he was told. He couldn't look you in the eyes. For once, you were the one towering over him. You took his face in your hands, pulling it so he looked up to you, seeing your warm smile before your lips met his.
His breath hitched, stuck somewhere in his throat.
You slid one hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer, the other caressing his cheek as you tilted your head and deepened the kiss. Slowly, the rigidity melted away, he started to shift, lips no longer stiff but soft and molding against your own.
He tried to stand up, but you pushed him down, gently, definitively.
“Trust me to guide you, buck.”
He breathed, one, two, three times, eyes closed, grin tight.
“Yes, doe.”
Your own excitement took a back seat. You were filled with pure energy at the thought of crossing the line with him, having Alastor in a way you only dreamed about, convinced your relationship would never come this far. But. But this was not about you, for now. Maybe, another time. If another time ever came.
You lowered yourself on him, straddling him, so you were still 'taller', and rejoined your lips. You took his hands and set them on your hips, let them rest there while you buried yours in his hair, tugging lightly to bend his head back. His initial resistance lessened, and he gave in, exposing his throat, gray skin peeking out of his high collar. You let your mouth travel to his jawline, down to the small patch of delicate, thin skin, right next to his jugular. You felt him tense, felt his rising urge to protect himself from your potential strike. You let out a soft hum as you started to lick it, sucking gently, just a bit, just to make him shiver at the sensation. And how he did.
A moan, low and sweet like the strumming of a cello, escaped him, his hands crushing your hips by the force of his grip. It hurt, but you decided to ignore it. Little steps.
“Can you take more, good boy?”
His eyes snapped open, burning furiously. You met them with calmness, with a soft matter-of-fact-ness. Not smug, not mocking. A question. Proceed or Stop?
Alastor swallowed hot saliva. You could see he was getting overwhelmed, overstimulated, and yet, he had such a longing in his eyes, such desperation.
“Yes.”
One simple word. One spark, setting your body on fire. You tried to force your trembling fingers to steady, lifting yourself slightly off him to open his trousers. With every button, his breaths grew heavier, his grip on your legs grew tighter, claws already digging in your skin and drawing blood.
“Careful, buck. I'll need these in a moment.”, you said, placing both hands on his chest, pushing him flat on his back on the ground. He let you go, arms falling useless next to him.
You leaned forward, thanking any deity that would listen you decided to wear a skirt today, and placed a hand on his growing bulge. He hissed at the touch, cracking the floor as his fingers clawed into the wood of the floor instead your fleshy legs.
Freed from it's cage, Alastor's dick was already dripping with beads of precum, a sight to behold. You wrapped your fingers around it, feeling the warmth and bloodflow, it twitched in your hand. You stroke him, eliciting the most sinful noises from the demon under you.
You took a deep breath. One more, one question more, to make sure that he wanted it.
“Look at me, Alastor.”
He sat up on his elbows, looking more helpless than you've ever imagined he could. Even his smile wavered, threatening to break. You were looking for any signs of hesitation, disgust, resistance, regret. You only found desire. A want, a need, almost pleading eyes.
Your free hand pushed your panty away, enough to expose your lips, and you lowered yourself onto him, his length slowly entering you. He was big, you were tight. A bittersweet combination. Sparks flew before your eyes as he stretched you, but you were hypnotized by his eyes.
They were blown wide, returned to black, but the irises now flickering into dials, turning, left to right as he groaned. You moved, guiding your hips up and down, feeling yourself molding to his shape in the most delectable way, and getting drunk off the look on his face.
You increased the pace on which you pushed yourself on him, adding a little tilt of your hips to take him even deeper. His voice was reduced to a static-y mess, hums and groans and moans bleeding into each other. You placed both of your hands on his chest for more support, inevitably pinning him down. His hands flew to yours, threatening to push them off him, but instead, he entwined his fingers with yours, panting heavily.
It didn't take long for him to feel the pressure, unbearable and urgent, his release approaching at godspeed.
“Doe, I can't...”
Panic in his tone. He tried to put his hands on your waist to pull you off. You understood immediately – an upbringing in conservative times, decades of living by the rules of a gentleman, he was resisting against the thought of cumming inside you. You pushed his hands away.
“Yes, you can.”, you stated, smiling at him, a hint of wickedness in your eyes. “And you will.”
Your skilled movements and dedicated demeanor sent him over the edge immediately. Protests were futile as he came in you forcefully, you felt his cock pumping his seed deep into you, hot and thick as you rocked him through his orgasm. Your own high wasn't worth chasing, too far away to matter. You didn't even think about it – nothing could feel better than this.
Alastor ran his hands over his forehead, sweeping away beads of sweat as his breath calmed down.
His hand shot out to grab you, and, still impaled by him, he pulled you into his chest, invading your mouth with his tongue to kiss you possessively. As if to transfer the command, the control he had given up, back to him. Taking it from you.
For a moment you were scared. The positions had reset to their default. Would that mean he'd push you off? Say goodnight and never talk about this night again? Returning to the Status Quo. Friends, the end.
Alastor pulled your chin up to look at you. His thumb ran over your cheek, tenderly and full of care. His eyes answered every question in your mind. You weren't scared anymore.
485 notes · View notes
hwashotcheeto · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒖𝒎 𝑨𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔
Part One: VIP Access
Park Seonghwa X gn!afab!reader
Summary: Once again, you get railed by your boyfriend while he's still in his stage persona. This time, at Coachella.
WC: 4.8k
CW: (Filthy) smut with fluffy aftercare (teeth rotting fluff I got carried away)
Names used on the reader: Sweetheart, sweetie, gorgeous, whore, slut, bitch, baby (Please let me know if I missed anything)
Smut warnings: Voice/auralism kink, glove kink(?), kissing, marking (reader receiving), hair pulling (reader and idol receiving), grinding, oral sex (reader receiving), unprotected PIV sex, nipple play (idol receiving), degradation, dumbification(?), overstimulation, creampie, reader experiences sub drop (Please let me know if I missed anything)
AN: I mean, come on, how could I not write about Seonghwa at Coachella?
It's not really a literal part two of VIP Access, but it is set in the same timeline (is that the right word?), so...I guess we're calling it part two, why not. I hope you all enjoy the (very self indulgent) filth I've cooked up. 💜
And @malldreamprincess helped with some of Hwa's especially filthy lines, so everyone say thank you to her. 💜
Tag List: @cherrycel @mxnsxngie @malldreamprincess @asjkdk
Tumblr media
First it was the beginning of their world tour. 
Now it's Coachella. 
When Seonghwa told you months before that Ateez would be performing at the festival, you were over the moon for them. 
Your boyfriend and his group were the first K-Pop boy group to perform at Coachella.
The pride you felt was immense. They'd come so far in their career, and they’d only grow bigger and go higher from here. 
You were incredibly grateful to join them for their time at Coachella, being able to sneak in as one of their staff members to get premium access to see your boys on the big stage. 
And God, did they kill it. 
Every single one, brimming with confidence and raw brutal energy, walking, talking, dancing, singing, and rapping like the kings they were. 
From the outfits to the stage to the props to the set list, everything was as it should've been: Electrifying. 
But through it all, your eyes went back to Seonghwa. 
From his long wavy hair that looked like a lion's mane blowing in the wind, to his outfit showing off his chest, to the confidence that dripped from every word and movement, he'd never looked hotter. 
And that's saying a lot, because Seonghwa looks good and hot in every performance. 
You should've been focused on the music and the vibes. The screams of the crowd, the bass blaring from the speakers. 
But in the back of your mind, you were thinking about how badly you wanted Seonghwa to take you against a wall. 
Against a table, the floor, fuck, anyway he wanted, you'd take it. 
When Arriba came on, you started imagining being bent over that bar by him. 
Especially after their shots, God, could he ever be hotter than this? 
(Probably)
But Seonghwa’s voice?
You already adored his voice, you could listen to him talk about anything and everything forever. But his accent when he spoke English made you feel things. 
That coupled with his confidence and stage persona, you were thoroughly soaked by the end. 
When they finally concluded their set, you took off running to get backstage to see them. You frantically flashed your badge to anyone who tried to stop you as you made your way through the crowds around the equipment. 
Until your eyes finally landed on your boyfriend, who was also looking around for you as he was wiping the sweat off of his face. When you two made eye contact, Seonghwa’s face shifted into a sinister smirk that sent shivers all over your body. 
You ran the rest of the way to him and threw your arms around him to trap him in a tight hug. He returned it instantly, even if he was drenched in sweat and still out of breath. 
Honestly, the shine of his skin from the sweat made him look even hotter. 
“You liked the show, sweetheart?” Seonghwa asked you, reaching up to brush your hair back. You nodded as you looked up at him. 
“I loved it! You were amazing! You all were! I'm so proud of you!” 
And every word was genuine as you smiled up at Seonghwa. He shared it, as he too felt pride in his chest from the performance. It was a huge achievement to perform at a festival like this, and to have it go as well as it did? Even better. 
“Thank you.” Seonghwa kissed your forehead as his hand trailed down to your waist. He pulled you against his side as he began to walk offstage, bringing you with him. “I had so much fun, that was amazing.” 
“I could tell.” You leaned your head on him as you gazed up at him. All those sinful thoughts from before rushed back into your head. 
Especially as his gloved hand was holding onto your waist, your face right next to his exposed chest. Your heart skipped a beat as you imagined your face pressed right in the center- 
“I can’t wait to do it all again next week.” Seonghwa’s voice abruptly dragged you out of your fantasy, making you shake your head to erase the thoughts from your head. But Seonghwa saw how red your face is, and he knew it wasn’t just from the heat. 
You’d seen his outfit before he went on stage, and Seonghwa delighted in seeing your face flush bright red, even seeing it creep down your neck. 
He knew exactly how this night was going to end from the start. 
“My eyes are up here, you know.” Your face turned red as you snapped your head up to look at him. Seonghwa’s lips curled up in that damn smirk again as he held you tighter, pulling your face closer to his chest. “How rude, sweetheart.” 
You had no words as you looked at the ground, your whole body heating up and your stomach filling with butterflies. Seonghwa used his other gloved hand to hold your chin and tilt your head back up to look at him. 
“Let’s get back to the hotel quickly then, since you can’t seem to wait.” 
You nodded wordlessly, the lust and greed beginning to take over your brain. Seonghwa’s tongue ran over his lips as his thumb ran over your own. 
Even as you felt incredibly small and embarrassed next to him, this is exactly what you wanted. 
To have Seonghwa possessed by his stage persona and have his way with you. 
Tumblr media
You walked into Seonghwa’s room first, leaving him to lock the door behind you. And as you turned around to look at him, he was staring at you like a predator who cornered their prey, with that devilish smirk still on his lips. 
You watched him as he slowly slid his jacket off his shoulders and down his arms, tossing it onto the bed behind you, all as he stalked up to you in an almost feline way. Slow, calculated, elegant. 
Just like Seonghwa. 
His arms looped around your waist and pulled you against his body, and already, you felt his half hard dick pressing against his pants and up against you. 
Your arms shot up to hold onto his arms as he leaned down to capture your lips in a needy, bruising kiss. One of Seonghwa’s hands went up to hold the back of your head to pull you in more and keep you in place. 
As if you’d ever pull away. 
You happily let his tongue slip inside your mouth and lick all over, pushing his way around, letting you swallow up all his deep, animalistic groans. 
When you dug your nails into Seonghwa’s skin, a growl came from deep inside his chest, and you’d snapped the thin leash that was holding him back. 
He reached down and grabbed the backs of your thighs to pick you up and drop you down on the bed, wrapping your legs around his waist as he leaned over you, giving him premium access to grind down against your sopping core. 
“Fuck, sweetie, you’re soaked,” Seonghwa groaned against your lips. “Is that all because of me? All for me?” 
You eagerly nodded, but Seonghwa clicked his tongue and gripped onto your hair, giving it a sharp tug. “Use your words, come on, tell me.” He leaned close until his nose was pressing against yours and his breath was against your lips. “Are you this wet because of me?”
“Yes, yes Seonghwa, it’s because of you,” you moaned out, still digging your nails into his biceps. You had a death grip on his waist to keep him where you needed him most. 
“Oh, it better be,” he mumbled as he leaned into your neck to suck a mark into your skin. Fire ran over your skin as his mouth worked to put purple blooms all over your neck. His claiming mark that you were his, all his. 
Your head was spinning as the pressure continued to build between your thighs from the constant friction on your clothed clit. You let out a strangled whimper as you reached up to pull on Seonghwa’s hair, forcing a groan out of him, along with an eye roll you couldn’t see. 
“Seonghwa, please, touch me,” you whined out desperately, trying to grind up with him for more. Seonghwa pulled back to look at you, his arms beside your head as he hovered above you. 
“But I am touching you.” His voice was low and breathy as he spoke, bordering on primal. Shivers ran across your skin again as his words invaded you and the feeling spread all over your body. 
“Seonghwa, I need you in my cunt.” 
“Isn’t that where I am already?” 
And he just ground into you harder, forcing even filthier noises out of both of you. A broken whimper shot from your lips as you pulled on Seonghwa’s hair again, throwing your head back into the plush hotel comforter. 
The pressure was only continuing to build, and it was slowly turning painful. Seonghwa knew it, because he was just as needy as you were. He was as hard as a rock, soaking his own pants through with pre cum, his whole body screaming with the desire to fuck you into the mattress. 
But Seonghwa wanted to hear you say it. He wanted you to beg. He wanted to hear how badly you needed him. 
“Please, take it off, fuck me, I don’t care, I need you so bad!” 
There it was. 
Seonghwa stood back up and gladly pulled your bottoms off, and before you knew it was happening, literally ripping your underwear off your body. 
At first, you wanted to tell him off for ruining your clothes, but at the same time, you couldn’t deny that it was incredibly hot that he was so desperate to have you, he ripped your clothes to get to you. 
And just like that, you were left bare before him. You nearly fainted when he looked at your cunt like it was the first meal he’d had in weeks, his eyes lighting up like stars and his tongue falling out of his mouth like a dog. 
God, you were so lucky to have a boyfriend who loved your cunt this much. 
You watched him sink to his knees in front of you, and he began to take off his velvet gloves, but you shook your head. 
“Keep them on,” you blurted, making him look up at you in surprise. 
“What?” He asked, not really believing what he was hearing. Your cheeks burned hot again as you looked off to the side. 
“Keep them on. I like them.” You mumbled the last part, but it was still clear enough for Seonghwa to hear. He still couldn’t really believe it, but at the same time, he didn’t mind it. 
“Alright, but you have to explain this to the stylists.” 
Seonghwa pulled the gloves on tighter before he wrapped his arms around your thighs. He yanked you forward so you were on the very edge of the bed, as close as he could get you. 
“Look at you,” Seonghwa murmured, “so beautiful. Aren’t I blessed to have such a pretty pussy for myself.” 
You could only whimper out his name as he licked from your entrance to your clit, taking his time to collect all your sweetness. His eyes rolled back into his head as he swallowed it, and tightened his hold on your thighs. 
“So delicious.” He went in for another long lick, closing his eyes as he did. “So sweet.” Another lick, this time focusing on your entrance to take in more. He groaned into your cunt before he swallowed again. “Fucking heavenly.” 
Even with the teasing licks, his voice was sending you to cloud nine. All his words, the tone of his voice, the breathy moans and groans, it was only making you even more needy for him. 
You reached down and gripped onto his hair at the roots, tugging gently, forcing another groan out of him as his eyes flicked up to you. Those damn siren eyes of his as his tongue was all in your cunt was enough to make you melt into a puddle. 
“Please, baby, don’t tease.” 
“Aww, am I making you wait too long, sweetie?” Seonghwa asked, almost in a mocking tone. Not quite, because you both wanted him to devour you as much as the other, but again, he loved to make you beg. 
You nodded shyly as you spread your legs wider. A silent invitation, and one that threw Seonghwa’s composure out the window. 
His gloved hands gripped onto you tighter as he dove back into your cunt, his mouth latching onto your clit and sucking harshly. A cry left your lips as you clung onto his hair and squeezed his head. 
He sucked like the last bit of air on Earth was inside you, desperately moaning into your cunt as he did. Just as your thighs began to shake, Seonghwa let go to use his tongue instead, flicking his tongue against your clit, watching your face as you clenched around nothing. 
You were crying out his name so loud, the members in the other rooms could hear you. He’d get an earful from them tomorrow, but that was for him to worry about later. 
Seonghwa let go of one of your thighs to reach up and slowly rub your entrance. The velvet against your core made fire race through your bones, and you clenched down instinctively. Seonghwa couldn’t help but smirk as he continued to rub up against you, going back to suck on your clit again, only making you clench down harder. 
“Seonghwa,” you whined, almost in frustration. Seonghwa let out a soft “hmm?” as he looked up at you, blinking at you innocently. You nearly wanted to smack that look off his face, but all you could do was give him your best puppy eyes. 
You were lucky he’d do anything for you. 
Seonghwa released your clit and slowly sunk two fingers into your cunt, taking his time to make his way in and stretch you out. The feeling of the velvet inside you made you melt, your head and eyes rolling back in tandem. 
“Aww, maybe I do need to keep these,” Seonghwa mused, admiring your face for a moment before he looked back at your hole that was choking his fingers. “If you like it this much, my little slut.” 
A weak groan left your throat as your thighs trembled again. You were clenched down so tight on him. His cock twitched in his pants as he craved for that to be inside you instead. His pants were nearly completely soaked through, almost making him feel bad for whoever would be washing his clothes. 
Seonghwa slowly moved his fingers inside you, watching your face and body for any resistance or hesitation. But when all he got was your soft needy moans, he gladly went back to where he was prior. 
His tongue went back to attacking your clit as his fingers sped up inside you, reaching back and curling up into that sweet spot inside you. He found it in no time, and when he did, he latched back onto your clit and smirked. 
Over and over, his name fell from your lips as you clung onto his hair like you’d disappear if you let go. “Seonghwa, Seonghwa, Seonghwa!” as he sucked and licked at your clit, his fingers pumping inside you, slowly increasing his pace until your thighs were shaking around his head again. 
God, did he love that. His eyes fell closed as he worked on your cunt, savoring the taste of you, moaning at every tug of his hair and cry of his name. He could’ve stayed there all night, he could probably come just from devouring your delicious cunt. 
But Seonghwa couldn’t deny his precious little whore his cock. 
“Seonghwa,” you choked out, pulling him out of his thoughts. He flicked his siren eyes back up to you, not slowing down for a second. You opened your mouth to try and speak, but another tremor ran through you and cut you off with another cry. 
But you didn’t need to say anything, Seonghwa already knew what you were trying to tell him. He didn’t answer, he just kept at his pace to make you come all over his face. 
And in his head, he was saying everything he wanted to but couldn’t. 
Come for me, sweetheart, come on. Just for me, you can do it, drown me, pull my hair, hold me in, anything to make you come. Come on my face, gorgeous, please please please-
With one loud cry of his name, you squeezed his head as you came on his fingers, clenching down even tighter than before, pulling on his hair and keeping him where you needed him most. 
Seonghwa melted into your cunt with a whiny moan, fucking you through your orgasm, slowing down his movements until you came back down to Earth. 
He slowly pulled his fingers out and begrudgingly pulled away from your cunt. Part of him wanted to stay on his knees until they ached, making you come with his mouth and fingers until you saw stars and begged for the end. 
He’d done it many times before, after all. 
But he could feel the tiredness creeping up on him, and by the look on your face, you were feeling it too. 
So he’d save it for another day. 
Seonghwa slowly got up from the floor, and as you looked at him, shivers ran all over your body again. His mouth and chin were covered in your sweetness, glistening in the soft golden light of the lamps, his pupils blown out and his chest heaving. 
And as he looked down at you, his cock twitched with aching desire. You’re all spread out for him, your hair a mess, your face red, your pretty lips swollen. 
In that moment, you both got a sudden surge of energy, and you were back where you started. 
Seonghwa dove on top of you and smashed his lips onto yours, crawling onto the bed with you, one hand going up to cup the side of your neck and face, the other grabbing onto your waist and urging you up the bed. 
You grabbed onto the back of his neck as you kissed him back, moving up the bed like he wanted until your head was laid on the pillows. 
The kisses were pure desperation, teeth clinking against one another, spit all over your cheeks and chins, tongues wildly pushing and pulling against each other. With the savagery between you two, you couldn’t even call whatever you were doing kisses. 
All this while you were helping Seonghwa undo his belt and yank his pants down, just enough to free his cock, which was covered in pre cum with the tip an angry red. Seonghwa let out a soft whimper as the cool air hit him, his eyebrows furrowing in near pain. 
He pushed you back into the bed with a more firm kiss this time before he slowly sunk his cock into you, and you both let out cries of need as he did. 
Your eyes fluttered as your head hit the pillows, and Seonghwa’s face was nothing but relief as he slid all the way into the hilt, unsurprisingly, without resistance. 
“So fucking perfect,” he muttered as he leaned his forehead on yours. You nodded wordlessly before you reached up to press your lips to his again. Seonghwa moaned as he returned the kiss, his hands locking around your hips as he slowly began to move his hips. 
Your arms went up and wrapped around his neck, holding him as close as you could get him. Seonghwa gladly melted into all your touches, and for those first few moments, you were thinking he’d be going easy on you. 
Oh, how wrong you were. 
It didn’t take long before Seonghwa increased his pace, making sure he hit your sweet spot when he did. You broke off the kiss with a strangled cry and gripped onto his hair. Seonghwa couldn’t help but smirk as he looked down at you, letting out a breathless laugh. 
“That feels good?” He panted out. “Yeah? Tell me, sweetheart.” Seonghwa took one hand off your hip and propped himself up beside your head, leaning as close as he could so he could stare into your eyes. “Come on, I want to hear you tell me how much of a whore you are for my cock.” 
The sudden change in tone makes you choke on nothing as your eyes flick back to him. All words left your head, which only made Seonghwa want to fuck you harder. 
Seeing you confused, at a loss for words, or better yet, unable to answer him because the pleasure is too much, was such a delightful sight. 
Just to make it harder, Seonghwa took his other hand and grabbed the back of your head again and pulled your face into his chest, holding you right where you imagined being because of his goddamn outfit. 
And you melted right into him, one of your arms instead wrapping around his shoulder to keep your face right between his tits. 
“Aww, look at that,” Seonghwa panted, tilting his head back, his eyes rolling back into his head. “There’s my little whore, you-Oh shit!” 
He cried out when he felt your mouth on one of his nipples, licking and sucking on it, his shirt pulled to the side for access. His dick twitched as he looked down at you with your eyes closed and brows pulled together, moaning and whining as you did. 
“Fuck, you are just a little whore, aren’t you?” You looked up at Seonghwa as he spoke, and it took everything in him to not melt right there on the spot. You hummed in answer, swirling your tongue around the sensitive spot before going back to sucking on it. “God, you’ll be the death of me.” 
Seonghwa gripped your head tighter and fucked you faster, desperately trying to keep up his rhythm through this thick cloud of pleasure he’d wrapped himself in, whiny moans falling from his pretty plush lips. 
But he was a little too quiet for your taste. 
You pulled back with a soft whine, which prompted him to look back at you in confusion. “Talk to me,” you whined, digging your nails into the fabric of his shirt. “Please, I love your voice.” 
Seonghwa knew that good and damn well. You could never get enough of his voice, you were always asking him to say the filthiest shit to you while he was ramming his cock deep inside you. 
Especially tonight, something about his accent when he spoke English was special. 
And like the good boyfriend he was, he provided. 
Seonghwa leaned close to your ear and made his voice low, coming from deep in his chest: “My desperate little whore really wants to hear my voice?” Chills ran over your skin just from that, and you were about to answer when he continued. 
“Did all that fucking talking on stage get to you that much? Oh, I got myself a slutty little bitch who turns into a puddle when she hears me talk. Lucky me.” 
Seonghwa couldn’t help but smirk when he saw your brain turn to mush from his words. He was about to mock you and comment on it when your started babbling back: 
“I do! I do, baby, I’m a slut for your voice! Everything you say, fuck-” And you were about to continue when Seonghwa leaned his forehead back on yours, staring back into your soul with a harder gaze than before. A cry left your lips as he began to ram his cock into you harder. 
“Yeah? You’re a slut period,” he ground out, letting go over your head to reach down to rub your clit. The velvet makes you yelp and jerk, but he keeps his thumb rubbing in circles. “A little whore for me, yeah?” 
“Yes,” you choked out, both your hands clinging onto his shoulders as you felt your orgasm creeping up on you. Seonghwa pressed his forehead into yours harder, pushing you further into the mattress, pinning you down. 
“You're a disgusting cheap whore,” he spat, rubbing your clit faster. “A dumb fucking whore that only thinks about my cock and nothing else. Only wanting to milk me dry, yeah?” 
Your vision was growing blurry from tears of overstimulation, but you found a way to nod and cry out “yes” through it all. Seonghwa was panting heavily now, his words breathy and his hips starting to stutter. You were both growing closer, but you were closer. 
Just a little more and you’d tip over that edge, that sweet relief that was right there. From all your squeaks and cries, and the way your cunt was gripping him like a goddamn iron vice, he knew it too. Just a few more words, just a few more seconds. 
“You just want me to stuff you full until you break,” Seonghwa breathed, “making you a goddamn mess for me to watch. A pretty little fucked out mess.”
As the words left his hips, you tip over and fell head first into your orgasm, clawing his back as it washed over you, screaming his name loud enough for people on the other floors to hear you. 
Seonghwa choked as you somehow clenched down even tighter. That mixed with your desperate, animalistic clawing of his back and cries of his name as the tears finally spilled down your cheeks, he was done for. 
“Oh sweetheart, yes, oh yes! That’s my love, oh fuck!” He babbled out, his voice growing more and more choked until he finally came deep inside you, crying out your name as he buried his face in your neck. 
You locked your arms around him and hugged him tightly, rubbing his back as he slowed down to an eventual stop. 
And as your orgasm faded, so did the euphoria of the moment, and you crashed back down to normal. 
Tears quickly filled your eyes and a sob left your lips, and before you could stop it, you were crying into Seonghwa’s shirt. 
Your loving boyfriend quickly took you in his arms and held you tightly against his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head as you clung onto him like a small kitten, crying for it’s mother. 
“I got you, sweetie,” Seonghwa whispered, one of his hands slowly rubbing your back while the other held your head against him. “You did so good for me. You’re the best baby I could ever ask for.” 
The praise made you smile, and the tears began to slow. “Thank you,” you whispered back. 
“You don’t have to thank me.” He kissed your head again, this one longer than the last. A more loving kiss. You just smiled bigger as you nuzzled into his chest. 
You both stayed silent then, basking in the afterglow, slowly letting your bodies recover and come back down to Earth. Seonghwa’s hand still rubbed your back, and you played with his long, wavy, gorgeous hair. 
Outside your room window, the city was still buzzing with activity. Coachella, in the distance, was still going strong. 
But for those few minutes, you two were the only people in the world. Just you two, in that little hotel room, in each other's arms. 
For those brief moments, life was perfect. 
Seonghwa eventually broke the silence as he pulled away from you. “I'm so happy you came to this with me.” He pulled you up and helped you out of bed, helping you stand on your still weak legs. “It wouldn't have been the same without you.” 
You smiled up at him, and you saw a flush in Seonghwa’s cheeks. He couldn’t help it when you were looking at him like that. 
Like you held the whole universe in your eyes. Like he hung all the stars and moons in the sky himself. 
He was truly, irreversibly, madly in love with you. 
You both helped each other clean up and get changed before you turned out the lights and crawled back into bed. 
You couldn’t think of anywhere else you’d rather be. In your Seonghwa’s arms, your wonderful boyfriend’s arms. The boyfriend who loved you more than anything else in this life, the boyfriend who dreamed about you being his forever. 
And you thought the same about him. As you rested your head on his chest and closed your eyes, you thanked whatever higher power there was out there, the universe, whatever brought you to Seonghwa, for this life. 
“I love you, Seonghwa,” you whispered, hugging him tighter. Seonghwa smiled and kissed the top of your head again, squeezing you back just as tight. 
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
And again, everything else faded out, and you two were the only ones in existence. 
You were home. With him.
Tumblr media
Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜
This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol(s) in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.
416 notes · View notes