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sylver-drawer · 4 months ago

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The Cruelty of Novel-Ijekiel’s Rejection.

Thinking about how in the past, novel readers conveyed that Ijekiel rejects Jennette as softly as he can while apologizing for hurting her, telling her he thought of her like a sister. Funny how that works. I proceeded to read said rejection scene, and it literally explains how blunt and cold he was to her, and how it sets up for the climax when she then reaches out to Claude in desperation.

Got a quick translation online, but in no way is this a soft and polite rejection. Was Jennette also harsh in telling him that Athy won’t reciprocate his feelings? Yes. However, what she spoke of was only the truth about Athy, and frankly her judgement of Athy’s behavior as Athy’s best friend—a best friend of the girl, who Ijekiel knows nothing about aside from short conversations. Athykiel does have moments in the novel (half of them with Jennette as the topic of conversation), but they don’t nearly have the closeness as the Athykiel moments in the manhwa. In response, Ijekiel is the one who throws a fit instead by responding in a way he knows will hurt Jennette the the most—apathy, before throwing all of his bottled up feelings at her and even going so far as to practically blame her for why they’ve ended up this way. We dive into Jennette’s psyche multiple times through the novel, and Jennette asks Ijekiel’s input a lot but you can tell that all she wanted was the truth from him—the truthful, unkind, and bitter Ijekiel. She tried to give him outs, to give him opportunities to tell her his true feelings instead of dodging around them for false kindness, but he never takes it. And then when she gives him a reality check—and right after he confesses his jealousy to Athy of her only talking about or asking for Jennette—he’s the one who snaps and dumps all of the bitterness inside of him onto her.

Jennette expected him to get mad, to be upset disgusted or show some kind of ugly emotion because that’s what she wanted from him all along—just the littlest bit of truth after dancing around with false smiles for years. But instead he’s cold, unfeeling, spouting out what was the result of pent up bitterness and jealousy recklessly, and they’re back to square one. He put up another facade while speaking a myriad of things he’s bit back whilst somehow managing to spin her words and blame her.

He speaks as if he was the one giving in, as if she was this child blissfully unaware as she was trampling on him, babying her even now but the truth is she’s an adult, and has been for quite a while. Perhaps he has been forcing himself to be kind to her, but he honestly believes that was suffering—that in his whole life, while getting to know the world and traveling and meeting friends from other countries and cultures that this little girl asking if he actually liked her, was suffering. He was no protector of hers—if the slightest chance arose, he quickly abandons her among jealous strangers or predatory men and gives away things she’s fond of for a woman he hardly knows. He thinks of Jennette as lucky, as a girl who’s had everything she’d want, and what of him? He, who was given freedom by his parents, opportunities to expand the knowledge he’s so proud of and to grow and learn—while she was locked inside a house that didn’t even belong to her. She receives dresses and presents she did not care for unless it was chosen by him, and he had the same luxury but thinks even less of it unless it’s a means to gain Athanasia’s fervor.

His rejection is cold and full of criticism of Jennette, yet he’s the exact same as her. They’ve been dealing with and exhausting over each other’s falsities, yet he can only see his own. Jennette lays it out, Athy will ignore you just as you ignore me. And he coldly bites back, I ignore you because you ignore me—not seeing that she ignores him exactly because he ignores himself. He held himself to standards no one had placed, forcing his emotions and his behavior in a way no one wished for. Jennette does not even wish for Ijekiel’s love when she tells this harsh truth to him, yet he assumes she is doing this because of so. In turn, he is also blaming her for everything—the reason why I forced myself into this corner, the reason why I’ve exhausted myself, the reason I cannot have Athanasia’s love, is all your fault. Even though Athanasia accepting Lucas’ advances was of her own accord, even though he was the one continuing to uphold that false mask of kindness she easily saw through, even though these feelings had been bottling up for ten years and no one but himself stopped him from conveying them to her before he had gotten to this festering point—he makes it Jennette’s fault.

He rendered Jennette into a vulnerable position, by doing exactly what he had done in the past. He spoke words of, under normal circumstance, would sound like presenting equality: “let bygones be bygones”, “we’re two people”, “I’ve hurt you only because you’ve been hurting me”—such phrases, you could almost call kind. Yet he is repeating exactly what he had done before—speaking ‘kind’ words while upholding a mask, rending said kindness useless. As the words flowed from his lips, in reality he was taking away any semblance of standing on equal footing by upholding that unfeeling mask while venting his frustrations onto her, blaming her for ending up like this. Jennette isn’t a fool, she hasn’t been for a while now so she can see the underlying messages he’s trying to convey—that there is no future, no equality, no way to finally open up with the truth and their true selves. He will leave her there, abandoning her, alone with the same kind mask as before while spouting cruel words.

That is not kindness, nor whatever neutrality he framed he was offering—this is cruelty. And he knows it.

#who made me a princess #wmmap #suddenly became a princess one day #sbapod #wmmap ijekiel #sbapod Ijekiel #ijekiel alpheus #ijekiel critical #wmmap jennette #sbapod jennette #syl tea #hey so manhwa Ijekiel had his flaws #but novel Ijekiel is so much worse #manhwa Ijekiel at least spoke out of not even knowing Jennette #novel Ijekiel knows Jennette #has been bottling his frustration and irritation for years #before blowing up on her in the way he knows will hurt her most

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smilesrobotlover · 1 year ago

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Whumptober day 20- found family

I played with so many ideas for this one but settled for Rusl adopting Link. Idk I hc that he adopted Link officially during the temple of time (that’s mentioned in one of my love at twilight fics) and I also headcanon that he discovered his ability to turn into a wolf before the temple. This would probably make more sense with context but hey I’m really good at writing fics without any bdksbsksbsk. Also! I love the idea that the resistance members go with Link into the temples. So Auru goes to the arbiter’s ground and Gerudo desert, Ashei goes to Snowpeak and the Snowpeak ruins, you get the idea. So naturally Rusl goes to the temple of time with Link, also with recent events it actually made sense 😌idk how I feel about this one it’s ok I guess

Warnings: mentions of an injury. This is more wholesome honestly

~~~~~~~~~~~

Rusl was at war with himself. When he returned to Ordon, he had hoped to investigate deeper in the woods, curious about a temple that was rumored to be there. But what he didn’t expect to happen was shooting Link in the leg and discovering his otherworldly ability to transform into a wolf. It was a mess, Rusl’s guilt for hurting the boy that he took under his wing was sheer agony, and the strange imp friend that traveled with Link didn’t make it any better. Link had reassured Rusl over and over again, but he couldn’t forgive himself, not with the way Link limped around, acting as if nothing was wrong.

Link had asked Rusl about the forest and the strange temple hidden within it, and despite the fact that Rusl didn’t want to be near him to avoid hurting him again, he couldn’t let Link investigate the forest alone. He knew that Midna was with him, but he admittedly didn’t trust her with his injury, and Link didn’t know how to take a break even when he was in pain, so he grabbed his beloved golden cuccoo and followed Link into the woods.

Rusl tried to keep his distance from Link, only keeping a protective eye on him, but with how creepy the woods were and how easy it was to get lost, he decided to stick to Link’s side, despite his own mind yelling at him for doing so. Link didn’t seem to mind, he was concentrated on catching a strange child playing a weird tune. As soon as Link saw him, he shot the kid with his bow and arrow, and a new passageway would open. It shocked Rusl, but the child didn’t seem to be injured from it, so he brushed it off and followed Link. Eventually, the child went away and opened a way through the lost woods. What followed next was a whirlwind of events, Link plunged his master sword through a pedestal beyond stone statues, shadow beasts ambushed them, they traveled through time, Link plunged his sword through a pedestal again, stairs appeared, and strange bird-like creatures rushed up the stairs, leaving Rusl baffled.

Link only chuckled awkwardly and entered the temple, and Rusl quickly followed, keeping a close eye on Link. Link seemed rather upbeat, he and Midna were chatting about random things, but he limped along the halls and doors, every limp feeling like a dagger through Rusl’s heart.

The three observed a statue, which stood alone beside a door frame. Rusl frowned, it looked like there would be another statue mirroring the other one, but a spot where it would be was empty. Midna and Link picked up on this as well, and Midna suggested that he turned into a wolf so that he could double check. Rusl didn’t know how being a wolf could confirm that, but he decided not to question it.

Midna held a strange crystal and put it up to Link’s forehead, and he was surrounded by shadows, being replaced with a wolf. Rusl watched with nausea building up inside him. He hadn’t seen his wolf form since he shot him with an arrow, but it was surreal seeing it again, and he had to tell himself that it was Link. It’s ok… that’s your boy… it’s ok…

“You ok, Rusl?”

Rusl looked at Midna who was perched on top of Link. She was smirking at him while Link sniffed the empty area.

“I’m fine, just… feeling a little sick.”

Midna hummed. “Yeah, guess going through time like that is jarring isn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

Midna gave a more genuine smile as Link perked his ears. She looked closer at the empty spot and cheered. “I knew it! A statue was once here! Looks like we’ll need to get it if we want to get through this door.”

Link turned back into a Hylian and winced as he put weight on his leg. Rusl watched him worriedly as he leaned against the wall.

“Link? Are you ok?” He asked, and Link waved it off.

“‘M fine. Transforming with an injury just hurts a lot is all.”

Rusl pursed his lips and looked down. He remembered when he turned into a Hylian before his very eyes with his blasted arrow protruding from his leg. The screams he made still haunted him.

The three traveled through the temple, Rusl being unusually quiet. He kept his distance from Link and Midna, and a couple of times, they got separated due to a door suddenly shutting and locking Rusl out. He was more careful after that.

Eventually, Link grew quiet as well, and he stuck back with Rusl as Midna rambled about the creepy spiders. Rusl felt him glancing at him a couple of times, and when Midna floated away, he turned to the swordsman.

“Rusl… I… is everything alright?” He asked, wringing his hands anxiously.

Rusl stared at him. There was no reason to lie, Link wasn’t a child, but he could feel the relationship was more tense than before. He didn’t know how to bring his feelings up.

“If—if you feel bad about what happened, it’s ok,” Link mumbled. “You didn’t know that was me, and I scared you…”

Rusl shook his head. “It’s not ok, Link. I could’ve killed you. I was— I was trying to kill you! I could never forgive myself if I was the reason that you died and—- spirits above Link it’s not ok!”

“How many times am I gonna have to tell you that it’s ok,” Link said softly.

“How can this be ok? Link I shot you! You’re still limping and you’re pretending everything is fine! I just— I can’t get over this! None of this is ok!”

Link looked down ashamed, and Rusl kicked himself. He didn’t want Link to feel like he was being reprimanded, he did nothing wrong. He sucked in a breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Link, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. You– you’re like a son to me and I want you to feel safe around me but I ruined that for you, and I don’t want you to feel obligated to stay by me and Uli because I’m upset over this whole situation.” Rusl let out a huff of frustration and looked up at Link, who’s eyes were widened in shock.

“What did you say?”

Rusl stopped and looked at Link confused. “I– I said that-that you’re…” Rusl’s voice trailed off and his eyes widened in realization. Why did he have to bring this up now? He sighed, figuring there was no reason to back track now. “Link, I– I see you as a son. Ever since you came into mine and Uli’s life I’ve felt a sense of responsibility towards you. You felt like a blessing from the goddesses to me. I mean the others feel the same way, Colin adores you and Uli adores you and… I know with recent events you wouldn’t feel the same way but… goddesses we love you like family, Link.”

Tears started welling up in Link’s eyes as he stared at Rusl in shock. Rusl gasped and took a step back, not expecting that reaction.

“I-I’m sorry Link, I didn’t– I didn’t mean to upset you I–”

“You really think that?”

Link’s voice was soft and it wavered as his hands clung to each other. He looked like he was scared to move, but the way he shifted his feet made it look like he wanted to. Rusl sighed.

“Of course I do. I’ve always thought it. That’s why I wanted to teach you sword fighting and why Uli invited you to our dinners and… why we want you to be there when our daughter is born,” Rusl turned away. “Link, me and Uli want you to be apart of our family. Of course it’s all about how you feel, I don’t want to put any pressure on you but–”

Rusl was interrupted as Link ran to him, wrapping his arms around his neck.

“I always wanted to be a part of a family,” Link cried, burying his face in Rusl’s neck. Rusl quickly wrapped his arms around his boy despite wanting to keep his distance. They stood there for a moment as Link cried, with Rusl shedding a few tears as well. Midna finally came back and watched the two with a smirk, her head tilted in a teasing manner.

“Oh, so glad you two could make up. Now come on, we got a statue to find!” Midna started tugging at Link’s shirt and he quickly wiped his tears away, stepping back from Rusl. Midna’s smirk softened a bit and she wiped away a lingering tear before floating near a door, watching them from a distance. Link’s face turned a little red and he scratched the back of his head.

“Um… is it… is it ok if I call you ‘pa’ now?” He asked, looking away bashfully. Rusl only chuckled and gave him one more side hug.

“You can call me whatever you’d like, my son.”

Link beamed and rested his head on his shoulder before jogging to where Midna was, despite Rusl cringing at his injured leg. He couldn’t help but laugh at Midna’s scolding, figuring that she could be trusted with Link’s injury. She did punch him in the face in order to protect Link. Rusl felt much better about the injury though. Knowing that Link didn’t at least hate him was relieving, but the fact that Link still cared deeply for him and the rest of the family was truly heartwarming. Though, the memory of Link’s fear filled eyes, his fear of being perceived as a monster, his screams of pain, Rusl never wanted to see him like that ever again. He vowed to himself that Link would feel safe around him, and that he’d never hurt him in anyway, whether it be unwilling or willing.

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