#he's like sae without all the emo parts

[n-fblog]

Is anyone else a little bit surprised that Charles actually is blonde ? Or was it just me 💀 I was bracing myself for him to have green hair or smth

Regardless, he looks adorable

[mreowsu]

DRABBLES, ONESHOTS / itoshi sae x fem!reader

part two

Have you ever wondered why and when Sae started wearing his baby bangs up? :)

cw my writing. español conversational monologue is google translated, please correct me for any mistranslations and I apologize in advance. both are 14-15 in this since I speculate the reason started all the way back. hopefully, once the mangaka reveals more of sae's backstory in españa, he isn't far too emo yet at this age.

wc 2.5k

Sae had never been one for vanity. His appearance was something he wore like his jersey—unremarkable in his eyes, but a source of endless fascination for others.

He’d stick to the basics—clean-cut, effortless, and sharp enough without even trying. Though, his fans obsessed over every detail, from the sharpness of his jawline to the way his bangs, short and neat, fell softly over his forehead, framing his teal eyes. To Sae, all of this was incidental—just another part of his preference for simplicity.

It was one of those days, during a rare quiet (courtesy of you) evening at the academy dorms. Dinner had been a casual affair, with nothing much to do afterward, and as you wandered back to your room, the brightest idea struck you: why not pay a visit to—bascially, your only friend—at the other side of the academy housing?

When you were both scouted at the ripe age of 13 to play in Spain, both of you had left behind everything you knew—your families, your home, your language. The sudden plunge into an entirely different environment had been jarring. The culture, the food, the constant buzz of español around you—it was overwhelming. High expectations pressed down on your shoulders, with the academy’s reputation and dreams of a professional career constantly looming.

There was no support system to fall back on. Your parents were thousands of miles away in Japan, unable to offer more than occasional video calls and mailed letters. The club staff and academy members tried, in their own way, to act as mentors and parental figures, but it wasn’t the same. The homesickness, the struggle to adapt, and the pressure to perform all felt crushing. Conversations had been stilted and awkward, especially with the two of you still learning to speak in broken, halting español. But over a year later, you’d found a rhythm. When no one else understood, he did. You both knew what it felt like to miss home, to feel like an outsider, to be surrounded by noise but still feel alone.

As cliche as it sounds, in the end; it was you and, annoyingly, Itoshi Sae against the world.

The male dorms were quieter than you expected, a stillness hanging in the air that made your footsteps feel far louder than they were. You had no business being here, not really, but that never stopped you before. And besides, Itoshi Sae didn’t seem to mind your intrusions. Or so you told yourself.

The sharp knock you gave was met with his voice, calm and cool as ever.

“Come in.”

You opened the door to find him sitting at his desk, the glow of his laptop casting shadows across his face. His bangs shifted with the turn of his head, teal eyes flicking up with an expression that was neither surprised nor annoyed—just Sae. Acknowledging you before returning to whatever analysis or footage he was engrossed in.

“You again.” he said, his voice neutral, almost bored.

“You should be honored, really,” you poised, breezing past his room like it was yours too. “And unfortunately, you’re my only option Sae.” You drawled.

“Lucky me,” he said dryly, though he didn’t tell you to leave. “You know, most people knock and wait for an invitation.”

“You’ve never needed to invite me before,” you said, settling onto the edge of his bed. “Why start now?”

He didn’t argue, but the faintest ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. For all his complaints, you knew Sae appreciated having you around. You were the only piece of home he had here, just as he was for you.

No matter how much the world outside demanded of you—how high the expectations, how foreign the environment—in moments like this, with him, you could breathe.

Sae's dorm was a plain space that reflected the utilitarian nature of the academy housing, yet much derived of personality compared to yous: sparsely decorated but immaculate, everything in its place. A couple of freshly folded jerseys on the shelf, a framed photo by the bed—nothing excessive, just functional and quietly personal. It was so… Sae.

“Well, you’re early.” He remarked, shutting the laptop and leaning back in his chair, his eyes briefly meeting yours before shifting to the clock on his desk.

“Dude, it’s literally evening, and everyone just finished dinner,” you exasperated, rolling your eyes.

He shrugged, a faint smirk at his lips. “For you, that’s early. You usually show up when you’re about to pass out from boredom.”

You crossed your arms, pretending to be offended, before mirroring his smirk. “Damn right I did.”

“Of course,” he replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You need to lighten up,” you teased, flopping around his bed unceremoniously. “This place feels like a showroom. Do you even live here?”

He rolled his eyes, standing up to retrieve something from his shelf. “It’s a dorm, not a hotel. What do you expect?”

“A little personality wouldn’t hurt,” you quipped, watching as he settled back into his chair.

He glanced at you, expression calm but faintly amused. “If you don’t like it, you know where the door is.”

You grinned, knowing full well you aren’t going anywhere. “Nah, I think I’ll stay. Someone has to make this place feel alive.”

Sae sighed, but there was no real annoyance in it. “Just don’t make a mess.”

“Right… So, what’s the plan?” You asked, kicking off your shoes and leaning back on your elbows. “Am I supposed to sit here in silence while you work on drills in your head?”

He stood, walking over with that signature calmness of his, and sat criss-cross beside you on the bed. The mattress barely dipped under his weight, as if even gravity couldn’t unbalance him.

“Maybe,” he teased, voice soft but laced with dry humor. “Unless you have a better idea.”

You rolled your eyes, pulling out your phone and shoving it toward him. “How about we pick a movie? Something that isn’t Taxi Driver for once.” As much as you loved the movie, it was getting repetitive, and you were starting to feel like you knew every line by heart.

Sae glanced at the phone, then back at you, his lips twitching ever so slightly. “You don’t like it anymore?” he teased, his voice the usual mix of indifference and amusement.

“I love it, but I don’t need to watch it every time I’m over here,” you replied, scrolling through the options. “We’ve literally watched it four times this week.”

“Then pick something better.” He leaned back against the headboard, his posture as controlled as always, like he had no intention of exerting effort in this decision. But you could tell by the way his teal eyes followed your movements that he was paying attention. Typical Sae.

You sighed dramatically. “You know, it’s a lot more fun when you at least pretend to care.”

Sae raised an eyebrow, gaze flicking to the phone before returning your sigh ten times more dramatic, a mix of exasperation and amusement. “Fine. But if it’s boring, we’re switching back to drills.”

You picked a new movie, something lighthearted, easy to watch, and settled back against the pillows, feeling oddly content.

The lights were killed, and the room slipped into a cozy darkness, save for the faint glow of the screen. Everything was ready to go and the movie started. But as it played on, your attention drifted back to Sae, completely absorbed in the film. His burgundy hair fell slightly over his eyes, distracting you for a moment. Without thinking, you reached over and brushed it back into place, the soft strands slipping through your fingers.

Sae’s eyes flickered incredulously toward you, but made no move to pull away.

He was uncharacteristically still as you perched beside him, fingers idly trailing through the silky strands of his hair. Your eyes flickered to his back and shoulders, noticing his now stiff posture. Though he didn’t speak, you could feel the subtle tension in his frame.

You murmured to appease him, “Sae, hold still.” The soft brush of your fingers through his hair seemed to ease the tension, so you continued with slow, deliberate strokes. When you brushed his bangs back, his eyes became the centerpiece of his face—sharp, vivid teals. They were like swirling oceans caught in the throes of a storm, deep and endless, with flecks of light dancing like sunlight on restless waves.

There was an intensity there, the kind that made you feel as though he could see right through you, peeling back every layer with a single glance. But beyond the sharpness, there was something softer hidden in their depths— like the stillness just before dawn.

Without the curtain of his bangs to soften the edges, his gaze became piercing, almost dangerous, like shards of sea glass—beautiful, but with a sharpness that could cut if you weren’t careful.

It was impossible to look away, not when his eyes held that kind of quiet power, commanding attention without a single word.

But then, Sae blinked.

He looked up at you with a slight frown.

"What are you doing?”

You felt the trance slip away, leaving you almost disappointed at how quickly reality snapped back into place.

You blinked back at him, brushing your hands off like you hadn’t just been lost in his eyes for longer than you cared to admit. “Nothing,” you replied innocently, tucking a few strands back into place and brushing his bangs, so they no longer fell over his forehead. “Your hair was in your face.”

“It wasn’t bothering me.” He said, though he didn’t pull away or stop you.

“Yeah, but it was bothering me.” You shot back, smoothing the strands until they stayed where you wanted them. His hair was surprisingly easy to manage, soft and silky under your touch. You backed up to admire your work.

His hair stood upright now, his whole face on display—sharp lines, ahem piercing eyes, the kind of look that stopped hearts if you weren’t careful. Gulp. “You look good like this. Cooler, maybe.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, his attention seemingly back on the screen, but the slight tilt of his head toward your hand betrayed him. He wasn’t just tolerating it—he didn’t mind.

He scoffed, “You’re ruining it.” He finally uttered, voice flat. Though he didn’t make a move to fix it.

“Ruining what? You barely even care about how it looks.” You teased, letting your fingers drift through his hair one last time before settling back against the headboard.

His lips twitched, almost a smile but not quite. “Maybe. But now you have to watch the movie. No more distractions.”

“Fine, fine.” You smiled, turning your attention back to the screen. Yet something about the quiet approval in your gaze stayed with him.

From then on, Sae started keeping his bangs up.

It was a subtle yet significant change that didn’t go unnoticed. His fans speculated endlessly about the reason behind the new style—some attributing it to his growing maturity, others to a shift in his on-field persona. But smugly, only Itoshi Sae knew the truth.

* * *

The stadium roared with life as the final whistle blew, signaling another victory for the Re Al youth team. Sae, as always, was the picture of composure. His hair, damp with sweat, stayed stubbornly defying gravity in its upright style, the way he’d styled it before the game.

You watched from the stands, pride swelling in your chest amidst the thrumming energy of the crowd. Unlike your usual matches with the female Re Al youth team, tonight was all about the boys. Your district didn’t have a match, so you’d ended up in the crowd, cheering for a game you didn’t have to play in.

Sae’s teal eyes scanned the rows until they found yours. He didn’t need to smile or wave—just the faintest nod in your direction. It was so like him, subtle and understated, but somehow, and alarmingly, made your heart flutter all the same.

As the team took their victory lap around the field, Sae broke away, making a bee-line toward you. The crowd stirred, curious eyes following his every steps.

When he reached you, there was no hesitation. You leaned over the railing, your fingers instinctively brushing through his sweaty hair. His bangs, stiff from hairspray, you assume, and effort, softened under your touch, falling slightly out of place.

For a second, everything stilled. The roaring crowd, the flashing cameras—it all melted into a backdrop as Sae stood there, letting you fix him like it was the most normal thing in the world.

The stadium fell into a stunned silence before the spell broke, erupting into cheers and whistles.

One of his teammates, whose name you didn't really care enough to remember, shouted from the field. "¡Oye, Sae! ¡No sabía que tenías un peluquero de guardia!" Oi, Sae! Didn’t know you had a hairdresser on call!

Hollering followed, and Sae shot them a quick, unimpressed glare. He turned back to you, his lips quirking into the faintest of smirks, leaning just a little closer. “You’ve made quite th scene,” he said, voice low enough for only you to hear.

You smiled, your fingers still lingering in his hair. “Can’t help it. You looked like you needed it.”

For the first time that night, Sae let out the faintest chuckle—a soft, almost invisible sound that felt like a treasure meant just for you.

When he walked back to his team, his bangs slightly tousled from your touch, the teasing began almost immediately.

“No sabía que nuestro Sae-chan podía verse tan humano.” Didn’t know our Sae-chan could look so human. They teased, a mischievous grin plastered across his face.

“O tan mandilón.” Or so whipped.

“Ni siquiera puedo imaginar que pueda sonreír así.” Can't even fathom he could smile like that.

“¿Es esto lo que el amor le hace a un chico?” Is this what love does to a guy? One of them added with a dramatic shake of his head, sending the group into another fit of laughter.

Sae ignored them, of course. But as he glanced back at you one last time, there was something different in his expression—something warm and quiet, a look reserved, meant only for you.

Meanwhile, the crowd’s whistles and playful jeers had you feeling just as flustered. Your cheeks burned, and you could tell by the way Sae’s ears tinted pink that he wasn’t immune to it either.

It was a simple thing, really. A touch, a moment, a look. Nothing too out of the ordinary for the two of you. After all, you were just friends. But amidst the crowd’s cheering, the teasing of his teammates, in the way Sae’s gaze lingered a moment longer than necessary, and in the way your heart raced, it felt like there was more to it.

And then the whispers started.

Backstage chatter, curious glances, and the media’s ever-watchful eye. They’d always known you and Sae were quite close, two prodigies from Japan.. childhood friends, even. But now... now, it seemed the world was starting to wonder if there was more to your bond than just friendship. Perhaps it was.. puppy love? Was there something more to the way you interacted? The teasing? The hair stunt you pulled? Was it all casual?

For now, that was all it was. Just speculation. But for Sae, maybe that small, fleeting interaction was everything.

Maybe.

And maybe that’s why, no matter how many times his teammates teased or fans speculated, Sae never explained why his bangs were always styled up.

* * *

© 2024 mreowsu HAPPY NEW YEARS! 🥳 🎉 🪅

sorry that i didn't write the way i usually do—in a poetic sense, anyway. This was just pure unfettered bluelock brainrot and the last epiodde from s2 had me going haywire i swear the animators were in the flow ong 😭🙏

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I’m ngl I just scrolled through your blog to look at your “controversial takes” posts to find those haters wait was it the Rin additional time one because bro the age gap might not be big but the maturity one is…like especially with Rin and how he acts too omg

Bro the itoshi sibling angst was never that deep im ngl i never thought it was super sad or anything either i mean it doesn’t help that i didn’t care much for them but when you think about it its just two brothers beefing like yeah it sucks because they once had a nice relationship but i mean id arguably say i think kaisers backstory is sadder than that and i don’t even care about kaiser either…idk there’s also something off about when they did get along im not really sure how to explain it but I don’t find anything special about it either so uh

NO FR im crying at the craziness in their profiles KIYORA AND THE TWINS AND THE ASS WASHING??? WHAT aikus had me SENDING like bro being like “i like drinking! Oh haha i mean I WILL love drinking…when im 20….and of age….nope never drank before hahahahaahahah” it’s so Aiku I’ve seen people going insane over the “finding playmates” response too and HES THE MIDDLE CHILD BETWEEN TWO SISTERS just like otoya i fr read that and lost my mind like what are their sisters doing and why aren’t they teaching them respect LMFAO kuronas is so cute wdym he’d bring his hedgehog with him as his only thing to a deserted island im crying also the saga of hioris celebrity crush had me losing it from “congrats to her marriage” to “she inspired my broken bone fetish” WHAT I fr can’t wait for more tabieitaken Barou crumbs though im surprised this is all out so early!!

Oh yeah me neither LMAOO like we don’t even see bro later idgaf I also can’t imagine him playing that important of a role the main story either I also feel like chigiris injury would only happen again in the World Cup or something not mid nel so…..

CRYING FR PNGLOCK agreed at least the pngs were drawn nicely for the most part but the animation and like the effects they added to try and make it look better had me laughing maybe they’ll sneak in more Karasu scenes in the u20 match at least we’ll have a couple moments of him facing against sae plus the Rin and Shidou carding thing LOL

LMAOO epinagi fr cooking with Karasu but we seriously need more panels of him in circulation because you’re so right

AHAHSG TAKE YOUR TIME LMAOOOO omg brief touching grass moment I know the feeling LOL

Also wait Karasu x WHO NOW?? SUKUNA???????? This reminds me of that era of Sukuna and hello kitty or Cinderella or something what the

- Karasu anon

LMAOAO PLS I POST SO MUCH that’s some dedication fr…although what else should i expect from resident goat karasu anon SDKLJF 😭 anyways i try not to vague post or get into drama or anything so i won’t say which post i was referencing in specific but considering how synced up we are let it suffice to say that if you found something silly during your scrolling that’s probably what i meant HAHAHAHA

OH MY GOD OKAY THANK YOU tbh angst in blue lock is so hit or miss for me like sometimes i’m just like okay was it really ever that deep…it’s not to devalue people irl who have experiences like that and have it impact them but like in fiction i’m just like ok??? i think the only backstories that have genuinely made me feel sad have been kaiser’s, lorenzo’s, and snuffy’s literally NO one else made me mega emo (reo and hiori get honorable mentions because i feel bad for them but it’s not ANGSTY to me yk?? idk maybe to me it’s not angst without death literally looming in the background SLDKJF perhaps that’s a mira problem) and yeah ofc part of it is that i’m not rlly an itoshi stan like that but kaiser is also a part of the core four opps and i found his backstory really sad so i truly do think it’s just a personal preference thing idk

KIYORA HAD ME GASPINGGGG lowkey he’s so funny i bet he was just saying all of that with such a straight face too…truly king of goofiness i have no choice but to support LMAOAOOA omg aiku’s had me cracking up he’s actually lowkey real this is just further proof that he would be a really fun bestie SDKLFJSD like he’s just chill with truly anything…nah because the bllk phenomenon of one older and one younger sister + absolute villainy MUST be studied!! actually wait i think kunigami disproves that because he’s nice but still 2/3 is not a great look 😭 KURONA AND HIS HEDGEHOG HAD ME CRYING PLS the way it was just called hedgehog number two the entire time…okay hold on when i read that hiori had a fetish for “fractured” girls i thought it was more of like an “i like girls who are traumatized and broken” in an #icanfixthem way not him actually being into broken bones HAHAH it’s insane either way though

yeah exactly that’s the one thing w epinagi being so far behind is that so many things lose their hype because we know how it ends…imagine how much more fun team tabieita vs team nagi would be if we didn’t know that nagi wins and they steal kiyora?? honestly i find myself enjoying the epinagi chapters more so i do sometimes wish that there was that element of surprise that bllk main manga can pull off…but anyways yeah agreed i would be surprised if they injure chigiri already ig anything’s possible but who knows

AHAHAHA PRAYINGGGG WE GET GOOD KARASU SCENES IN U20 however at least my nagi and barou sides will be fed well hehe anyways yeah the effects lowkey had me giggling ik everyone’s taking it seriously and crashing out but like i’m chilling it’s just not that deep it’s like reading the manga but i get to hear karasu’s fine ass voice instead of having to imagine it yk

BRO HOLD ON HERE’S THE LINK I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO SEE THIS 😓 i was literally so taken aback like where did this even come from??? the sukuna x cinderella (and in fact all of the disney x jjk) stuff was really random but at least disney princesses are like relevant to pop culture?? i’m so confused at how KARASU got involved SDKLFJSD idk who the og artist is either but it’s like VERY OBVIOUSLY karasu omg i wish i was there irl to see your reaction it’s just the most bizarre thing (but like i said…if that’s what the artist is into good for them ig)

HELP OKAY i finally finished i just need to proofread and then post!! i lowkey might fall asleep beforehand though so who knows if it’ll actually be posted soon or not we’ll see LMAOAOAO but anyways i will be freed at last ngl it’s kinda ass but oh well it is what it is

[bachirasbodyguard]

I'm a little worried about how Rin is doing in PXG, ngl

For a number of reasons:

Most importantly - his instructor is Loki. Look at the face Rin made when that was announced.

Rin already disliked him because of how hard he outplayed him in the Blue Lock vs. World Stars mini-game, without putting in basically any effort, as both he and Isagi noted. There's a certain tension between these two if you re-read those chapters:

I think a lot of it might come just from them being so close in age. I think Rin sees him more as another player he has to beat (especially since it's another player who is at Sae's level) than a teacher.

And you know that since Loki is part of the New World 11 it's probably going to be "Itoshi's little brother" and not "Rin".

2. He's probably hit a mental and emotional slump after what happened in BL vs U20. He must have lost some of his spirit after how things turned out for him personally and with his brother, now confused about what he's doing this all for, and Isagi isn't there to light a fire under his ass

3. He has to watch Isagi, his "i'll-kill-you-even-if-it-kills-me" rival, fight ANOTHER, cooler rival. I don't know about you, but if I had Rin's personality and my bitch-ass of a rival was all "look at this better, more powerful rival I found who is like you but better and whose demise is all I think about 24/7" I'd be a little pissed

4. VERY important: His only company are Karasu, who is just as big of a bitch as he is, and fucking SHIDOU. I don't even need to say anything else. I can't even imagine the shit Shidou is telling him now that he has his dick all hard for Mr. Underlashes senior

Of course I hope that his "defeat" at the U20 game made him mature and he won't be a sad little bitchboy during the Neo Egoist League but I'm pretty sure that's not going to be the case.

Anyway. Hang in there lil' emo guy.

[lunarsmusings]

Monsta X as Mystic Messenger characters

I did a thing cos I cant stop thinking about it.

Shownu as V

Leaders (but Nunu is better)

Quiet protectors of the other members

Pure

Patient and never get angry

Caring

Seem awkward at first

But their loved ones know how cool they are (seriously we have witnessed the shownu thirst and feel it).

Wonho IS Zen

NO BRAINER, I really feel some kinda way about this

Forreal the ideal man come to life

They are gorgeous men who can pull off the white hair look

Super hard working

Love exercising (cant relate)

But still manage to be modest

Sweet, caring and soft

Will do anything for friends and fans

Minhyuk as Seven

I see people comparing him to Yoosung cos of the gaming BUT you think Min will allow himself to be teased and not even realise?!

Nah, Min is the man behind the teasing.

He enjoys his gaming and is good at it.

He is extroverted and gets people comfortable.

He is also famously hard to control and we love him for it

He also has a lot more going on beyond the surface, he is smart and talented

Kihyun as Jaehee

Maybe not as mum as you initially expect

But telling the other members to eat healthy and lowkey nagging at them. That is Ki!

Not afraid to speak they're mind, even if they get teased for it.

They get shit done, projects and generally making sure the members are surviving.

Members would struggle without them (and live in a mess without Ki)

Have their "why are they like this?" moments but its all part of their personality

Hyungwon as Yoosung

Of course, Wonnie is a college student, hes overworked and always tired.

Hes got the baby face and big eyes but there is still a lot more to them, don't let the puppy (or turtle) demeanour fool you.

Hes still super sweet and a little bit quiet at times but can still come out with lines that would destroy the other members.

Both underrated as hell!

Understand the worth of a good meme

Loves the other members like family (lets just ignore the V/Yoosung complex)

The poor paper doll is also victim to the most teasing (please save Hyungwon).

Jooheon is Saeran

Okay I had a hard time deciding Sae for Honey or IM (my lil emo baby) but decided on Joohoney in the end.

Lemme just say THE DUALITY THIS MAN HAS.

He is the softest little thing that everyone cherishes (especially Minhyuk who is Seven apparently), but he is the ultra cool rap god.

He is soft and cute, tries his best at everything and so good at it.

People call him intimidating but he really is sweeter than Honey

I think he's always got another surprise up his sleeve as well

Changkyun as Jumin

At first seems a little cold and distant

But they are very caring and will use any means to protect the people they care about.

Super intelligent and sharp

As well as having a charm that a lot of people fall for.

Blunt and honest, never forget the IM savagery.

But beyond that never forget how sweet and well meaning they really are.

[akechicrimes]

not to speculate too hard about the inside of a silent protagonist’s head, but the more i think about joker persona 5, the more convinced i am that he’s firmly entrenched his approach to relationships in hiding aspects of himself from others so that he can fulfill some sort of transactional relationship. and the more i think about that, the more i really do think that akira’s whole thing about emphasizing transactional relationships and almost intentionally surrounding himself with only selfishly-motivated people is a fear of intimacy.

i was talking with @aryashi about this post with akira’s really heartbreakingly cynical opinions on friendship, and the weird phenomenon where in persona 3 and 4, the protagonists are intentionally pushed to reconsider their views on friendship and making bonds with other people, and come out of their journeys with friends who’d ride and die for them. but with akira in persona 5, it’s odd because akira has a very well-documented transactional/cynical view on how relationships work, but he isn’t quite ever pushed to reconsider that point of view.

which is to say, persona 5 as a game is much less about relationships and friendships than persona 3 or 4. in persona 3, minato has only two personality traits, and those are that he’s a 2006 emo MCR fan and that he’s self-isolated. his entire character arc is about him un-isolating himself, learning to have relationships again, and learning that other people make life worth living. in persona 4, souji (or yu) is a city boy sent to a tight-knit community where everyone knows everyone, winds up learning first-hand just how judgmental small towns can be even in their proximity, and is forced to confront the perils and rewards of other people knowing you for who you truly are. 

in comparison, persona 5 likes to say that it’s about justice and societal reform, and seems to actively encourage akira to mask himself (or at least parts of himself) in order to achieve societal reform. he is quite literally hiding half of his activities (thievery, mostly) from the other half of his life (his day life as a student). arguably, he’s also hiding his confidants/social linking side business from his own thievery team, too. logistically, this makes sense, since akira is avoiding getting put in jail for thievery by hiding his identity. the flip side is that akira works for a better society while never once being known for who he really is, which is a fairly common trope among masked heroes who do work for the whole of society while never once being thanked or recognized for their work, but it’s a stark contrast to the other games.

so in a lot of ways, not only is akira not pushed to reconsider his views on relationships, he’s actively encouraged to keep masking parts of himself from others, and to use his anonymity and ability to hide to his own advantage. in particular, akira is encouraged to find people who he can gain something from, people who stand to gain something from him, and to strike a deal; and this deal usually involves akira hiding parts of himself so that his new confidants will continue to work with him.

which is cool and also highkey relatable, sure, but it sure does seem to be one of the reasons why akira walks out of the game with a whole bunch of friends who seem to................. not really know him very well, for some reason? and all his social links are, like, a collection of business partners or sponsors?

that’s not to say that his relationships are always built on akira hiding parts of himself to fulfill a transactional deal. a lot of his relationships wind up being non-transactional even if they started off that way, and a lot of his relationships end with his confidants guessing that he’s a phantom thief. but i wonder if akira himself views them as non-transactional. or, that is to say, akira seems to move away from viewing relationships as purely transactional, but he’s never pushed to embrace a relationship that is purely, 100% altruistic.

he starts every relationship with a transactional deal from the beginning of the game to the end. he uses relationships as a “we mutually help each other out” sort of arrangement as far into the game as his last conversation with sae as his lawyer. and the fact that these relationships become deeper and more meaningful than a simple business arrangement doesn’t mean that they’re not still fundamentally business arrangements. it’s a bit like getting to know your local barista: you might have conversations and learn more about them and even become friends, but at the end of the day, fundamentally the arrangement is built on interactions where you pay them money for them to make you coffee. (and to keep going with the barista metaphor, such a business relationship depends entirely on presenting only certain aspects of oneself to another person so as to keep the relationship going.)

or, also consider what akira said in this tweet as linked in the first part of this post. it may be that he knows that, for example, kawakami comes out of her social link adoring her student, and would go above and beyond to help him if he asked. but that in itself is a transactional relationship of another kind, isnt it? akira has to continue being the sort of student that she likes in order to continue to have her support; in return, she lets him get away with all sorts of wild shit in her class. rather than a one-off transaction, the relationship moves almost towards a type of sponsorship, which akira trades behavior that she approves of for her continued, continuous help. so the relationship remains transactional, and in a lot of ways, akira is not only trading with supporting kawakami emotionally, but he’s hiding parts of himself in order to maintain the relationship he’s built.

aryashi said that he should have come out of the game with some ride-or-die friends like the other persona protags--friends who know him completely and entirely, and would go above and beyond for no transactional reason whatsoever. she said that he should have had at least “ryuji, or akechi,” which was so fascinating to me because those two characters are so entirely and completely polar opposites, but reflect akira’s issues of isolation from two really important angles.

ryuji’s probably the character who has the most altruistic relationship with akira. he latches onto akira and from the first time they meet, ryuji selflessly tries to sacrifice himself to save akira, who ryuji barely knows, met about five minutes previous, and actually doesn’t even know the name of. ryuji couldn’t have an ulterior motive to help akira if he tried. and ryuji’s remarkably consistent about his selflessness, too; there’s no benefit to ryuji when ryuji gets mad on akira’s behalf to defend him, and it continues all the way through P5R. 

but in a weird way, it’s like akira doesn’t--understand this? although ryuji is the character who seems to care about akira himself the most and consistently defends akira, especially in regards to akira’s record, the instant ryuji’s social link starts, the social link progresses in the same manner as a lot of other social links, in which akira exchanges emotional labor and support for better teammates, better teamwork, better personas, better social links. suddenly it’s not about ryuji caring about akira, but akira helping ryuji through his track team problems. it’s like akira and ryuji are speaking entirely different languages, or are simply thinking so differently that akira just had no idea what to do with ryuji when ryuji goes out of his way to reach out to akira just for the sake of kindness. he seems taken aback by ryuji’s enthusiasm and sincerity in several cutscenes.

which is not to say that i dont think that akira doesnt value ryuji immensely, because i think he does, and i think that ryuji reaching out to him when akira had first moved to shujin and was entirely alone meant the world to akira. but i think that going through a friendship constantly feeling like ryuji’s altruism has an expiration date, impending dealbreaker, or is simply just incomprehensible because it doesnt have any transactional value to it is a type of isolation in itself. and if not a type of isolation, then definitely a type of emotional barrier that prevents akira from really embracing a relationship or person like ryuji--if not out of confusion, then maybe just out of fear.

confusion or fear, or maybe just a history of being rejected for who he is--either way, i do think that one of the things that’s so notable about a transactional relationship is that it makes intimacy much more controllable. persona 4 intimacy was a fucking gauntlet to be survived, because it was just a sheer, undiluted blast of your entire self being put on display. in persona 5, intimacy can be controlled if you know what a person wants out of you. if you know what they want, you can be that thing they want. if you know what they want from you, then you can leverage what they want. if the terms of the deal are clear-cut and determined from the start, someone like akira doesnt need to be afraid of being rejected, and never has to guess at what a person wants from him, and need never take an emotional risk himself. the more selfishly motivated a person is, the easier they are to please, and the easier they are to extract a working relationship out of, and the easier they are to even have a relationship with.

which brings us to akechi, because it does seem to be the case that akira gets along so well with akechi because it’s understood between the two of them that akechi is NOT here to be friends and he DOES have ulterior motives. even without the whole shido thing, akechi is pretty obviously there to nail akira for being a phantom thief; the kindest possible interpretation of akechi stalking akira is that akechi is there to pick up blackmail material on him. 

not to speculate too hard about the insides of a silent protagonist’s head, but i do wonder if maybe that’s why he got along with akechi so well: he assumes that akechi wants something from him that benefits only akechi himself, and akira is totally right. that sort of selfish motivation is something that akira can understand, predict, and accommodate.

nobody is allowed to tell that one anon who keeps showing up in people’s inboxes trying to convince everyone that shuake is an unhealthy ship, but it’s not a great dynamic. it’s also not any different from any of the other social links akira has. it’s pretty par for akira’s course, actually.

it’s also what akira understands, and it’s what akira is comfortable with, and oddly it serves as a point of connection between the two of them, especially in their P5R s link. and the more that akechi pushes at various emotional issues throughout his social link under the cover of “i’m only here to investigate you,” the more emotional intimacy they can get away with while pretending they aren’t doing exactly what they’re doing.

which is like. bro. when goro akechi is better at emotional intimacy than you are. you done REALLY fucked up.

but at the same time it’s like........................ it’s very clear that akira walks away from the game with more or less the same point of view on friendships and relationships that he went into the game with, because akechi wasnt going to be the kind of person who pushes him on that point. again, akechi and akira having a relationship that started off transactional and grew to become something else doesn’t necessarily mean that either one of them have changed their general modus operandi on this point. the person that would have really pushed akira to change would have been ryuji--but for whatever reason, ryuji didn’t wind up being the catalyst for that sort of change that he should have.

i dont really have a conclusion because this is my blog and i can do whatever i want and nobody has yet paid me enough money to buy my silence, but if you really want a conclusion, have this: pegoryugoro IS a valid ship and they DO have an interesting and compelling dynamic and i SWEAR to god i will make it work one day.

[vikab]

p5 thoughts

After having drawn so much fanart of p5 (most of it being Yusuke) before the game even came out, even with my hype when I started playing on the release date, I only FINALLY finished persona 5 OTL

Below will be my mini-review and thoughts on the game?? spoilers are gonna here on the entire game

Total playtime - 87 hours 40 minutes

OK this is gonna be disorganized mess but i will try to be .. not messy Story: The story unfortunately was very weak :(  Like the game had an AMAZING start and it was tackling really important issues. I really started to care about Ryuji and Ann and their goals. Then Yusuke joins and I thought the game was just heading in perfect direction. Then I felt off during Kaneshiro’s arc as Makoto did not really feel .. really into the whole PT thing?? sorry Makoto fans i love her but she felt rly overrated... anyway Futaba’s arc no doubt was my favorite but then the game really started falling apart. like lets not talk about the whole series of events that were Morgana leaving the team that was straight up BAD. the pacing picked up a bit for the Casino dungeon and it was really intense then its Shido and thing kinda... fell back into this weird pacing ... Ah yes, let’s just wait 20 days to see if Shido has a change of heart or we die. After that the pacing was still all over the place then the huge plottwist happens. I knew about it but still liked it! The last arc had on point emotions and feels so it felt like a good ending to the game.  SEVERE PACING ISSUES KILL THE GAME FOR ME THOUGH.   I get that they still wanted the calendar system but honestly i dont think it worked any huge favors for the game . .. anyway yeah the game started amazing then dropped close to death then picked up again but not as good as the beginning Characters: I have not managed to finish a lot of confidants so near the end the parts where confidants help out it was .. very lacking lol .. . if that part wasnt so depended on the confidants that you have finished.... But overall the characters were good. Pacing of the story and the story itself did not do any justice to them I think and it feels bad bc everyone had so much potential but having a big cast it was obvious that not everyone was getting the attention they deserved Ryuji - good bro and I loved him but the middle part of the game and the constant “we gotta get the girls!” moments were so . . ugh ...  confidant rank and beginning of game ryuji was absolute best though Ann - same goes for her as with ryuji that the beginning of the game was best characterization moment for her. I liked her a lot and she’s pretty bro for female heroine! but the constant fanservice kills me guys Morgana - boy did i dislike morgana for the most of the game. he really felt like teddie 2.0 at times and i just did not have a lot motivation to like him. Last arc of the game tho?? i love morgana??? i wanna cry tbh those parts near the end really resonated with me so my final verdict is that i like morgana a lot now Yusuke - I LOVE THIS BOY. while i get the beef that people have with his recruitment arc (the whole nude modeling thing) I thought it was ok since my interpretation is that he was just pissed and really needed that inspiration he found in ann but idk. otherwise his arc was good but goddamn fuck you atlus for continuously treating him like a weirdo?? PT is supposed to be a gang of misfits and yet even the teammates keep treating him like a weirdo. . that was just really bad like come on  let me kiss yusuke and feed him. also will never forgive atlus for not letting yusuke move into leblanc. He’s a very good character and very level-headed so i love him sm. he has really great moments Makoto - I liked her a lot! i do think she’s a bit overrated and that she doesn’t fit well with PT but I think that’s just the issue with Atlus pacing of the story, because her issues during her recruitment were really good (as in i did feel like she would fit into PT well) Futaba - I LOVE THIS GIRL!! I played with jpn dub which I think does much better justice to her characterization. Her entire arc was so so good and I felt like she was a really solid character going through growth. her confidant was very very good. She has a lot of funny moments and I love her antics with Yusuke. they are the blessed characters of this game. too good for this game. Haru - love her too!!!! she was so nice and sweet but damn atlus did not do her justice at all. she is the “last” party member to join and it is so sad she does not get a lof interaction with PT. like I wish PT interacted with her somehow throughout the game before she joins, be it like help her out sometimes or something bc they go to same school so when she joins later the team dynamic can easily accept her. Goro - we dont talk about goro jk but honestly he was handled bad. his link was automatic and I get why but his initial personality just makes me hate him a lot. he was cool as a party member but not for long. I expect him to appear in spinoffs bc wtf was that ending for him goddamn atlus. i like a lot his potential as a character but everything else? hate Sae was for me quite funny during the interrogation (when you start the confidant parts) but after her casino her involvement in the story I really ended up liking Sae. she’s good Also gonna mention Sojiro bc i love that coffee dad. His dynamic with Futaba and protagonist was extremely good!!! such a solid family. I loved that he finds out the truth and how he handled it. love u sojiro Speaking of protagonist, I really really really wish atlus would ease up on the “silent protagonist” a bit more. for a game as huge as this, the silence does not do justice to the protagonist. idk i just wish there would have been a bit more voice to him and solid characterization other than some off-hand comments that imply the underlying personality. i get the whole “self-insert” part but it sucks stop putting it in games Overall character summary: pacing sucked so characterization suffered a lot. a lot of characters don’t get their time to shine and while I love them a lot it really sucks to see how they were treated. Pacing ruined a lot of things including team dynamic. Palaces: (in chronological order) Kamoshida/Castle - IT SUCKED I HATE IT. being the first freaking dungeon it sure was extremely hard and damn long. also not knowing about the calling car system really hurt lmao. i just hate this dungeon and i got stuck there a lot too Madarame/Art Museum - THE BEST ONE! Honestly I think it is the only palace that really did feel like a heist! It is a very beautiful palace and im probably also biased bc its Yusuke’s arc but this palace was legit fun to get through. Kaneshiro/Bank - it was ok, good music. i don’t really feel much for it and I was just mostly annoyed how long the vault part was. Futaba/Pyramid - I loved it  a lot too! 10/10 music I had a lot of annoyances with coffin shadows and the puzzles for a bit but overall the music and aesthetics really made the palace work well with the story Okumura/Spaceship - we don’t talk about the “lunch break” parts.... overall it was ok and I liked its aesthetic. also the implications about the workers there was good sad material. Sae/Casino - 10/10 music. overall i disliked it a lot bc some of the parts really dragged and I hated gambling in there to progress. Shido/Ship - 10/10 music. overall i liked it / it was ok. the mouse mechanic was a bit fun, the last part being ... 3 boss fights in a row without saving was sure something. 10/10 creepy outside aesthetic of sunken city. Mementos Depths - not to be confused w/ p3/4 style dungeon we know as mementos (which were pretty much mindless fun to progress thru), the depths was ... so good. mostly for the creepy aesthetic 10/10 would suffer again. the music track Freedom and Security, that plays during goro’s bad end credits, plays as the theme for this dungeon and jeez did it make me feel so emo. the parts where you can talk to locked up people who are apathetic to the world just gave me depression and i loved it.. . i didnt really like the later part of it (when tokyo merges with mementos) To rank the palaces overall its:  Art museum > Mementos Depths > Pyramid >> Ruse Cruise > Spaceship > Casino > Bank >>>>>> Castle Gameplay mechanics were very solid and fun. Movement a bit could be clunky (or that’s what i felt like) and stealth mechanic in dungeons was ok. The gameplay has A LOT of attention to detail and i appreciated it a lot. UI was cluttered but it worked and was quite Aesthetic. I think the game would have benefited if the stats weren’t so important to the social aspect or if the calendar system was revamped. Final boss imo was not as bad as P4 but still ... sucked. P3′s final boss fight is still ultimately my favorite. P5 comes close but once again, pacing issues. Protagonist summoning freaking Satanael was cool af though. Honestly my big issue with P5 was the PACING that made the story and characters suck a lot of times but overall the game was extremely solid and memorable.  Of the persona entries i played i think P5 is special so I can’t really rank it. I am really attached to the game despite its heavy flaws that kill me. P3 and P2 are still quite my favorites but P5 is like really close to them so I guess it’s a fave too i love those phantom thieves

[m1ckeyb3rry]

A

PSYCHIC DAMAGE LMFAOOOP omg…now I’m shaking just thinking of the wc HAHAHA I’ll start mentally preparing…

OK DID YOU READ THE CH???? ANOTHER MANIFESTATION OFF THE LIST?? I’m strike throughing this to make it harder to read at first glance in case you haven’t read yet We literally said tabieita best duo because they’re mature enough and confident enough alone which allows them to duo without dependence THAT WAS LITERALLY LIKE HALF THE CH????

Yuki third wheel friend…yuki the “walk behind the duo on the sidewalk” third friend��.tbh I think the person I’ve seen him with the most is actually Isagi??? From his little tantrum/rivalry moment….no ykw you’re so right we claim yuki!!

LMAOOOOOOO I’m crying this is so true to their dynamic and I love it sm….barou nagi honestly another iconic duo I can imagine Barou being like “you better stand six feet away from my ball at all times”…

STOP WAIT THATS GENIUS Barou one of the girls HAHAHA that’s so real though!! It kinda reminds me about how Kunigami was canonically like that before bllk because he hung around his sisters a lot!! IM GONNA SHIT MYSELF LAUGHING “y/n l/n is a lovely girl who can really keep a house clean. any man would be lucky to have her” GOODBYE the duo wingman plus imposter wingman dynamic im so living for this….

OOOH NICE!! Except for the knocked out part LOL I feel like I’ve heard that they have that effect…but fr!!! I have no idea how it’d work exactly but you could also maybe consider taking a smaller dosage to see if it’s enough to keep the nausea under control without glueing your eyes shut….that’s sometimes what I do with allergy meds LOL

PARAGLIDING omgggg HAVE FUN!!!! I can def imagine how it’d seem intimidating but I bet you’ll have a lot of fun once you’re in the air!! Just channel your inner crow HAHA THE EMO MOMENT LMAOO BUT DONT LOOK OUT THE WINDOW /hj I feel like seeing the scenery and other cars move from the side perspective makes that dizzy feeling worse…..could be different for you though but that’s what I’ve noticed!

REAL lowk I wonder if it’s maybe more of a he doesn’t actually know what loneliness is because he’s been left alone all his life kind of thing….but anyways…..

-Karasu anon

YOU SHOULD BE SCARED 😈 or alternatively grateful HAHA looking back at that 6-9k word count estimate is cracking me up because this one is making the otoya version look short 😭

I DID READ IT FINALLY AND OMG WHEN NAGI CALLED THEM A MATURE PARTNERSHIP I WAS LIKE ??? why is bro reading the tumblr convos that’s word for word what we said in the past 😟 also wait this is cracking me up…

CANNOT believe we have a canon panel of hollyhock sengoku era otoya now ⁉️ pov bro on his way to chill in y/n’s room instead of actually trying to find and kill reiji hiiragi as he was hired to 🤫

i do think i’ve seen him with isagi the most also because of the mancity match but tbh isagi has so many more relevant duos (rin, bachira, barou, even hiori and nagi) that it feels very very one sided?? i wish yuki and kuni or yuki and reo would become a duo because i think he would work w either of them really well!! technically reo and nagi are already a thing but it could be a way to break them up and let them find new friends and partners that push them more!! and kunigami + chigiri is also a thing but chigiri is so chill w everyone that i could see kuni and yuki being like a secondary duo the way isagi and hiori are

BAROUNAGI MY FAVS IN EVERY WAY!! truly they have the relationship rin and sae could have if they were just a tiny bit more normal abt things/their rivalry (but you didn’t hear that from me 😶‍🌫️) and LMAOO omg wait lowkey if only kunigami wasn’t busy in wildcard he would also be a hilarious prospect for that kind of thing 😭 barou gives me such one of the girls vibes though like i bet he’d let his gf braid his hair and whatnot…the SECOND one of the bllk boys says smth he tweaks heavy but he won’t take them out even if they’re shit because like his girl worked hard on them 🙁 LMAOOO the yuki barou team up would be wild especially when karasu is actively working against them 😰 and nagi is also just there for some reason too??? i think it would be funny if he gets dragged into things as a repeated bystander and eventually he gets super invested because it’s like an episode of a drama for him but irl 😭 so he somehow knows everything going on but refuses to intervene on either side (which pisses barou off) because he exclusively wants the tea and doesn’t really care how things end up 😩 he’ll randomly drop hints to move the plot along when it’s getting boring though but they’re cryptic enough that they end up causing more chaos than anything…like “karasu i heard y/n likes tall dark haired soccer players” “SHE LIKES ARYU???”

unfortunately i was knocked out on just half of a pill 😩 and paragliding was super super cool + not scary at all but i DID throw up into a little plastic baggie like 5 or 6 times and was nauseous/dizzy soooo would not repeat that experience 😓 but honestly i’m still glad i did it because it was so fun besides the vomiting and such a unique experience!! truly felt like a little bird hahaha…apparently nausea and motion sickness are a symptom of my birth control so once i’m back home i’m going to call the doctor and see if they have any tips!! for now we must endure i suppose 😔

truly i don’t think nagi understands human connection or loneliness or anything like that too well so he’s fine living without actual relationships because you can’t miss what you don’t know 🙁💔 but honestly he seems like he would’ve been very loving if he was raised normally?? like despite what everyone thinks he’s pretty loyal to reo and treats choki so nicely that if he had had a proper upbringing he probably would’ve been such a good friend/significant other 😪 that’s just my headcanon though until we get his actual backstory (like his childhood not just right before bllk) and see what things were like…adding this to the manifestation circle because i NEED to see baby nagi!! i bet he was soooo cute (and also i need to know if he escaped the bowl cut allegations 😭 his hair is wavyish so i think he must be safe?? but you never know)