#he's like 'the sexuality of the pairing does not come into it it's about NUANCE'

[chryza]

cishet boys who love yuri because they appreciate the story and romance you are precious to me and I love you.

[greedandenby]

Jacob & Sam talking about queerness in IWTV.

A compilation of stuff they've said in interviews.

(Long post!)

A.V. Club

Q: The show is being hailed as unabashedly queer as compared to the film adaptation. Why was that important to both of you and the show’s creators?

SR: It’s what’s written in the book. We’re doing the book and it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

JA: It’s true to the story.

SR: It’s true to what Anne wanted and, yeah… it’s time.

JA: It would be rude not to.

SR: Yeah.

Comicbook

Q: How important was it for the two of you to get this aspect of the story (the queerness of the books) not only correct, but to tell the full breadth and aspect of this very unique relationship?

JA: (…) For one, we have to acknowledge that the books are very queer. I think that IWTV Louis is not talking about it, at least in terms of Lestat.

SR: Until you get to the second half of the book. By the second half of the book, Louis does sort of start to acknowledge that it was something more, which I think is such a cool… (…) I think the relationship, the way Louis describes it in the beginning is sort of like, is it subtext or has he acknowledged it or is he just angry with the way it worked out? But I really feel that as we go on, the text is the text. It’s very clear that they’re in love and that they’re in a romantic relationship. I don’t think we would be doing the Anne Rice universe or doing the Vampire Chronicles if that wasn’t the case. I think it would be something else. And it would be a waste of time for us too because the fun stuff comes from the complexities of the relationship and the dynamics and all the detail and nuance that they have. If we’re doing a “will they won’t they” or, like, subtle glances across the room then you spend all the time on that tension rather than the really complicated toxic dynamic that exists between the two of them.

JA: Yeah, and then also playing that off against that tension and the aftermath of some of those fights. It suddenly rebuilds this sexual and emotional tension. Like you said, you get to explore the breadth of a relationship. But yeah, they’re each other’s endgame, aren’t they? In the books, they always come home to each other. I think it’s telling that that seems to be the denouement or the end of a lot of the novels: Louis and Lestat being petty and in love.

Esquire (Sept '22)

Q: The 1994 film adaptation of Interview With the Vampire shied away from depicting the romance between Lestat and Louis. Your adaptation is very explicit; at one point, we even see Lestat and Louis have sex while levitating. Rolin Jones described this series as “an excitable, aggressive, toxic, beautiful love story.” What did that mean to you, finally getting to tell the story in its full, explicit sensuality?

SR: I was very happy it was going that way, because it wouldn't be Interview With the Vampire if it didn't. It’s really important that we explored that, because a big part of their relationship is this intense connection. Anne Rice describes drinking each other's blood as incredibly erotic, almost like having sex. So how do you translate that on screen? I guess nude levitation translates quite well. I think it's really important that we don't shy away from it, because if we spend the whole season going, "Will they? Won't they?," we don't get to the really interesting parts of this complex relationship. Getting straight down to it means we can look at the dynamics of this pair—how they hurt each other and how they build each other up.

JA: With the levitating scene, we talked a lot about how you need those moments of joy and excitement and romance so it's not all about tortured Catholic guilt. We've seen vampire stories told that way before, and like Sam said, you then can't get into the messiness of their relationship. You have to really believe. You have to know that these two people are in love. Being in love is complicated and beautiful and messy.

IFC Center

Q: Sam, from the beginnings of the vampire traditions in literature and theatre, there’s often been a gay subtext. But for this adaptation, subtext becomes text.

SR: Yeah, I would say it’s not subtext, cause in Anne Rice it’s pretty damn clear. So it’s not subtext becomes text, it’s just text is now being text. And I think, fuckin’ yeah, it should be. If we’re going to do Anne Rice, we might as well do Anne Rice properly.

SR (about Lestat’s otherness): He’s come from some pretty intense experiences where he’s learned the history of vampires and things like that. And Lestat has come over from Europe to get away from the catechism of humanity and the way that’s kind of slapped on top of the vampires. That it’s all about self-flagellation in Christianity, Catholicism, that we’re all monsters and as a monster you have to serve Christ by being a servant of the Devil. You’re a monster: wake up and serve Christ. Which is what he’s discovered in his past. And Lestat thinks “That is garbage, and I’d much rather have a good time and I’d much rather celebrate myself.” Because he didn’t get a choice, he didn’t get to choose to become a vampire, he was forced into it. And I think we comment on it on the show, that all vampires are born out of trauma and that’s why people identify with them so well. Because they are traumatic, painful beings – often there’s sexual trauma in it as well. So he’s come to New Orleans to get out of that, to start his own new life, really. I think his bisexuality, his pansexuality has always been a part of that character when he was human, before he was a vampire, and I think that’s something he’s always embraced. It’s also something that’s quite heavily embraced in the vampire world as well, so it’s a nice space for that to work. And then once you become a very powerful being, the mess of humanity, all of these rules and things, they don’t matter.

io9

Q: Why are vampires associated with queerness?

SR: It’s being an outsider but also owning it, and owning a space. And they’re sexy and cool. They’re awesome.

JA: There’s definitely as well something about growing up marginalised, and sometimes (…) you feel like you relate to the monsters more when you grow up othered. You feel like “Oh, this is supposed to be scary but this creature’s being treated the same way that I’ve been treated sometimes”. There’s just something very welcoming and comforting about that and I think those ideas exist together.

SR: And they also live life by their own rules, define their own terms. It’s their own space, it’s not within any conformity. And actually, in our show, we do that a lot, like “Why are you so interested in this bullshit human existence?” I mean, there’s so much more than being confined to one thing or being told that you’re one thing by society.

Pride.com

Q: In this version, the queer subtext is out the door, it is fully textual. Why do you think that was important for this version?

SR: I mean, it’s funny when we talk about subtext because, like, I was a fan of the books previous to being a part of it, and I can see why, particularly in the first book, it could be considered subtext. But I feel like, especially from the second book or even the second half of the first book, it’s really text. And so I feel like it wouldn’t be Anne Rice’s IWTV or Anne Rice’s universe or Vampire Chronicles if that wasn’t properly dealt with and addressed. And as soon as you get through the fact that they’re in a romantic relationship and that they love each other very deeply, then you get to really look at what the hell this relationship was about, what are the nuance and the complexities of it, cause it’s not as straightforward.

ScreenRant at SDCC 2022

SR: I’m really excited for Anne Rice fans to actually get to see Louis and Lestat in a romantic relationship, and we’re not shying away from that in any way, shape or form at all, and don’t even bother… It’s straight up from the very beginning.

Q: Can’t say they’re besties?

SR: Never. No, it’s love at first sight.

JA: They actually kind of don’t like each other. They’re just very in love.

SR: Yeah, very in love. I mean, it’s love at first sight and Anne was very clear about that, for Lestat at least. Had to do a bit of wooing to get him there, but he gets there. So I’m excited for people to see that, because everyone deserves it.

TV Guide

SR: You can see these two monsters, these two men, kissing under Jesus Christ like they’re supposed to be and like they’re valued and important in the eyes of God, and they’re loved; or like they’re the antichrist and they’re here to burn that church down.

TV Insider

Q: Sam, Louis and Lestat’s romance is made explicitly clear in this version, and other than it being loyal to the book, why do you think that’s important for a modern series?

SR: I mean, it’s what exists in the world. Sometimes you hear people say that we’ve made the subtext text when actually we’ve just gone back to the text. It exists. So it’s important to honour that because that’s what was written and that’s why a lot of people love these stories. This love story exists and it’s a complicated love story and they’re complicated monsters who are in love. It would be a real shame if we didn’t honour that.

Vanity Fair / Little Gold Men Podcast(June ’24)

Q: I know a lot of queer viewers who have been drawn to this show, because it’s telling this really unabashed and fluid queer story that’s also […] this bizarre melange of tones and ideas. That feels like something that this community hasn’t gotten a whole lot of, and I think that’s one of the reasons it’s resonated so strongly.

JA: And that’s what I mean. If there were people that didn’t know that we could do this, didn’t know that this existed, that there was this space. That’s where I’m excited for more people to watch it. I don’t want to generalize about areas of America or the UK, but there are areas where you don’t get access to it. I think we can be very London-centric, LA-centric, New York-centric, and only see that. I would love it if there’s a kid who really needs this and sees it and is like, “I’m going to do my own thing,” or that’s just like, “I’m going to go out into the world feeling a little bit more comfortable in my skin today.” That’s beautiful.

Time Out (August ’24)

Q: It’s a LGBTQ+-centred story. Is it important to you to be a part of queer narratives?

JA: It’s unapologetic about its queerness and that’s beautiful. I see so many stories that skirt around things because they don’t want to offend anyone. My character is a Black creole man and he’s queer and he’s kind of awful, but those things aren’t all tied in together. For me, that’s the dream of representation: that our behaviour isn’t entirely tied in with our identity.

[starbylers]

Honestly and truly, one thing that makes me so confident in Byler is the quality of most anti takes being absolutely horrendous. And I’m not talking about the childish hate, I mean when they actually try and make a critical point about the show.

The other day I saw a Mlvn say that Bylers apparently think Mike is being too ‘normal’ by dating El, and we are wrong because El actually ‘goes against societal norms’…because she grew up being abused in the lab…and because Will grew up ‘normally’ (was not abused in lab) Mike being with Will would actually be the choice that ‘traps him in normalcy’... And then I saw another one say that Mike dating El isn’t conformity because El is considered a ‘threat to society’...because of her powers. Like 😭😭😭

It just made me think…wow. You’re telling me this is the grasp the opposing side have on the themes of the show, how those themes influence the characters, and how that all interacts within the social context of the time period? El is a girl. Will and Mike are both boys. It’s the 80s. Obviously the situation is more complicated and nuanced than just those facts, but it is truly not that hard to understand where conformity might come into play.

Like society is not oppressing Mike because he decided to date a female superhero 💀 meanwhile him growing up in an extremely homophobic place and time period maybe possibly definitely could lead to suppression of his sexuality and dating someone of the opposite sex rather than his 1000x more compatible same-sex friend because society would deem that immoral and wrong. Also yes, El does deal with mental health difficulties stemming from her childhood and it certainly impacts how she moves through the world, but again…what societal conventions and rules is Mike rejecting/not conforming to by dating a girl who happens to struggle with childhood trauma? No-one who we come across in the series finds anything strange about these two dating, in fact their feelings are suspected/expected by their friends before they even get together.

It’s wild that they think the height of nonconformism in 1980s small town America is having made-up superpowers…when a gay man is literally right there…and them also implying that El being traumatised makes her like, 'not-normal enough’ for her and Mike’s relationship to be considered subversive or something…sure is an opinion! A really awful one!

It’s like they’re conflating conformity with ‘everyday normalness’, and using fantasy elements and dramatic plots within the show to prove how different from regular reality/life the Mlvn pairing is, rather than understanding conformity (the theme spelled out for us in the show) for its actual definition—behaviour in accordance with socially accepted conventions.

Just saying if you ever worry that you think too deeply into Byler evidence…just remember that at least you’re actually thinking. The “worst” Byler take will always be a million times more carefully thought-out than the “best” anti take.

[whomstwedointheshadows]

THE NICEST POSSIBLE INTERPRETATION of PAUL SIMMS

I suggest using this as deposition prep when Nandermo sues for emotional damages.

Earlier in the panel, the writers confirmed a plot card exists on the wall in their writers room with Nandor + Guillermo + Kiss. Look, they’ve thought about it before!

‘People’ even want it. Whomst could be amongst thee people, he’s not naming names. Ignore the history of queerbaiting as a grand tradition of showrunners, did those showrunners ever tell you the writers room periodically comes back to the discussion of a ship and keep a dedicated index card of space to a potential kiss?

So as far as explicit statement that Nandermo ship is not sexual, keep your showy gays away- Paul does not restate it in exact terms. He still support that it’s a love story- even if that love story is not as we want it right now. He’s not confirming in this statement it’s a chaste one of ONLY boss/employee nor is he saying it cannot grow into another form.

Furthermore, this entire statement is in response to a question. So, he confirms the foundation of love story, divergence between what is desired at this moment and what the writers intend, and even the framing as turning=infidelity/broken trust. Now, just because it wasn’t sexual doesn’t mean it doesn’t impact their greater love story.

I think it’s very useful to dig in here to the actual question poised to Paul; the question explicitly eliminates Paul giving a response that acknowledges the plotline as explicitly romance-advancing in function.

(Even if this plotline is instrumental in their greater romantic storyline and personal journeys which may become romantic.)

His response has to be about the connection between them, and he cannot just respond, “oh because they love each other deeply and wanna fuck.” It’s a nuanced response to a question which took away a romance pairing between the two to explain it as about the interpersonal dynamic. That’s also not the driving factor of the characters.

I also think the writers know what ship they made, and constantly have address the question of Is It Ready Yet? Could, from a creator perspective making a show that is character driven, see a difference between ‘just hook up already’ because that’s what the fans want and these two characters become the richest possible combination because of how they grew together? I don’t know about you, but I tweet about just fucking do it already and write long metas on tumblr about epic loves. I want to see an epic story, not just doing something to get it off their backs.

Here’s the big quote:

Knowing that these questions were prewritten, screened, and answers were practiced because that’s their job on a panel to be prepared, it’s striking to me there was no denial of an explicit romantic relationship. He answered a carefully worded question with a carefully developed response. He’s about to get flustered by an audience interaction, and then dig a deeper hole.

Okay, now here comes our true soldier in the trenches interrupting the panel.

Does that final response not feel scripted? I wonder if the writers for an improv comedy show like to pull off jokes and throw people the scent. Or could that be an actual joke? Did they just spend the first four seasons giving Guillermo more autonomy and power and season 5 see Nandor fighting for his attention?

Or is it amusing to see someone twist themselves in knots trying not to state the obvious? Would the writers really be so unaware of everything else problematic on the show?

Just take a minute to think about the humor on this show. Does this feel like a bit to move the conversation along, away from the thing they don’t want to give anything away?

The love between them doesn’t just have to be sexual. {They could also be like, best friends, or something, like Lazlo and Nadja. Do you think there’s more than one type of love you can have for someone?}

Or, if you’re doing press for your show and your job today is to talk to the media and get the hype for season 6 and confirm filming in Jan, do you maybe have some tricksy talking points that will generate interest and capture attention while also preserving a surprise element. If I didn’t want to give too much away about the new season, especially if it was driven by the final episode and had some major developments on a personal and interpersonal level, I wouldn’t leave much room for further questions, probably drop the big news item to make sure the attention stays on that. Maybe the person doing the interview is a professional and knows the things a showrunner won’t give away before it airs, so there isn’t going to be a hard press to circle back unless the writers do it during their response time.

Also, look at the reiteration the writers explore multiple paths and pick the best one. They certainly picked an interesting option, if the goal was not to bathe the ship in romance tropes.

Oh wait, it looks like one writer (also exec producer) who won’t say spoilers wants to make sure there’s one last hook thrown out there. Almost like it’s softening the response from Simms from a ‘nope’ to a ‘watch and see’ like planned remarks at the end of a panel, or something.

My interpretation of Sam’s comment, in the most generous to shippers, is- this is a driving engine and intentional plot of our show. We want to make the best show. They pay off of getting together has to be worth it and interesting. It’s integral to the story we are telling. Part of our story is the journey and we’re on our timetable, not to rush this.

So, what does Guillermo want?

Can you think of why he’d stick around the vampires, as per the format, if not to become one?

TLDR: the bait is still on the hook. They’re going to keep it there as long as possible. Nothing has been ruled out, in fact it seems like they’re actually building against what they say would be the problematic aspects. I wonder if comedy writers ever a) keep secrets before something is even filmed so who knows what they decide is the best pathway on an improv show or b) tell jokes in plain sight. If they do things to twist our expectations.

It’s a queer show, so this is not queer baiting. It’s just a Will-they-Won’t-they. There are a lot of choices in plot and character arcs which point to someone in the writers room being fluent in better queer characters if not relationship representation. One would think, as a writer, they would Know Their History of Queerbaiting and associated tropes. {Personally, the ‘No One Dies in Shadows’ seems like a nose bop at Buffy, but that’s a meta for another day. }

I find the boss/employee line so unserious considering everything else in the show, and I wonder what tumblr would be like if we focused on the Kiss Card left on the writer’s wall instead.

[i-read-that-manga-for-you]

Given

Admittedly, I read this manga a long time ago. Like when chapters were still coming out. I was still in high school at the time (holy fuck) and couldn't really articulate my feelings as well as I can now.

I had left this review (bits and pieces of it) on a manga site and decided I might as well put it on my tumblr, finetuning it, of course. First post, because in spite of its flaws, Given is still close to my heart. And I reread it again (somewhat) to make this a better review. I hope each person who reads this will reimburse me with 50 cents each (jk don't). So here it is. My impression of Given, with !!some!! talk about how SA is treated in BL/Yaoi culture in general.

Or not, this is just my two cents with no anthropology degree.

Do take what I say with a grain of salt, a piece of creative media does not exist in a vacuum, but this review treats it as one at times because I'm not really skilled enough to talk about any wider implications. I'm just some guy giving my review.

Spoilers ahead. Go ahead.

TW: Sexual Assault.

Honestly, this manga made me feel a lot. Good and bad feelings. But let's focus on what I liked.

Ugetsu.

He's on the phone, shhh.

I found Ugetsu to be a very compelling character, and it was a huge shame that he vanished partway through the manga. Basically? I have no criticisms about him as a character, he has his flaws and he's nuanced. He's interesting and compelling, and it's clear that he's someone who is still growing and learning to walk on his own two feet. I won't deny that his relationship with Akihiko was very toxic, but I definitely think this isn't something that can be blamed solely on him.

But with this out of the way. Let's talk about the pairings.

Let's talk about Akiharu.

Kizu Natsuki is an amazing artist... Even when I have certain issues with this manga.

Well. I have a lot of qualms with Akiharu.

For starters, Akihiko assaulted Haruki. I'll never forget that. The fact that they ended up getting together anyway was a huge point of contention for me. Given was framed as a story about love more than a traditional story about BL/yaoi which (sorry) usually leans towards the sex. (This is not to say that sex and romance are separated, well they are but they are linked rather than being one in the same. You can have either, like they're hot/cold water but they come from the same faucet.)

But I feel that having this scene in rather than an argument feels completely wrong. I'm someone who will digest pretty much anything the world throws at me, but the Akiharu assault scene came off wrong and it came off scary. (Note: I say scary but I definitely mean much more than that, I just feel like "shouldn't be romanticized" doesn't encapsulate all of it. This topic is not something I'm qualified to talk about, so I don't want to overstep any boundaries.)

And to be honest, that's good because SA shouldn't be romanticised, for that, a big well done to our author. I just wish the aftermath was dealt with better.

This is terrifying. Please retract your words.

In spite of the SA scene being scary, afterwards all seemed to be resolved the moment it was revealed that Akihiko had nowhere else to go.

Everything for them goes uphill from here. Yay.

I just have to wonder what was the point of that buildup if you were just going to allow things to end nicely like that. With a scene like that, you'd think that the manga was saying that "SA is scary, it's terrifying and it's something that you shouldn't forget even if it's BL/Yaoi." But, why did it end up like this.

What I'm trying to say is: What does it matter that Akihiko apologised (twice), he still assaulted Haruki, he assaulted a friend. Even worse is the way that they're framed as a healthy couple afterwards, this just made me all the more uncomfortable. I feel like this is saying "SA is scary" but also saying "the power of love and friendship absolves everything". I've seen some people talk about the fact that SA happened, but haven't seen them say how it was "resolved". I think it's more to do with yaoi/BL fiction culture, that we've grown to accept SA that is unaddressed in our media to the point that Akihiko's apology is like a prayer more than something that's not even worth a second glance.

Saying that Akiharu started off rocky is an understatement, but if I pretend it never happened, I can say for sure that they are much healthier than Akigetsu, and they deserve each other. It's just not good storytelling especially because I don't really understand the motivations of Haruki liking Akihiko.

I once said that Haruki's character arc was based on Akihiko and that was my bad. I was wrong. Haruki, in fact, has a minor character arc, that isn't really to do with Akihiko, about how he feels insecure surrounded by geniuses in the band and this gets resolved by Akihiko saying that they wouldn't be able to function if all of them were geniuses, and Haruki himself seeing Akihiko hard at work. But I had completely forgotten about this arc, my bad, but my point still stands. Haruki deserved a better character arc.

I don't have a smart comment for this unfortunately. Eat your veggies??

In spite of saying this, I'm not an Akiharu hater, I swear. But I just found that ship much less compelling than Akigetsu in general. Akigetsu was a relationship where they were both incredibly toxic towards each other, there was an imbalance in the fact that Ugetsu literally owned the place they were living in, as well as how he'd kick Akihiko out whenever things were rocky. However, I think the end of their relationship was dealt well on both sides, their toxicity towards each other was framed in a negative light as it should have been. They ended the relationship and went their separate ways, this was the best ending for them. For Akiharu and Akigetsu: The difference between these two relationships is that one was dealt well and the other was dealt wrong. Akiharu deserve each other and Ugetsu deserves to learn how to grow by himself.

Anyway, another point of contention was, in spite of the healthy nature of Akiharu. Somehow, the friendship between the two couples seems to have waned and it was pretty disappointing to see. I think it started before this, but the first time it was obvious to me was this scene.

I know you're in the middle of something, but don't be mean to Mafuyu >:(.

Context: This is Chapter 40. Akiharu are in a moment of intimacy and Uenoyama is knocking at their door trying to get advice.

We've seen that Mafuyu is a very reserved person, to see that Akihiko was so ready to tell Mafuyu to stop coming over (even if it is to stop him from coming over so suddely) right to his face was extremely immature.

Basically, imagine if that had been Mafuyu. Personally, I feel like Mafuyu would have been hurt like hell and closed right back up. This scene is something played for laughs and that's something so disappointing. Given is shown to be a band of friends, but in the end it seemed more like two couples who hang out sometimes. Also the fact that both Akihiko and Haruki are pushing Uenoyama to get Mafuyu to rejoin the band. That's something else that bothers me heavily. That they're treating Mafuyu as Uenoyama's responsibility because they're dating. It's a band that is sure to fall apart if you are not making an effort to support each other equally. I mean, it doesn't have to be entirely equal but points for effort and they get no points here. It's funny because they were at least a little self-aware of this prior.

Dating in a band is something that is nuanced, of course. But it sure is funny to see them practically go down the same route they condemned.

That's my criticism of Akiharu.

So, what about the other instance of SA? I'm talking about Shizusumi and Hiiragi, of course.

Let's talk about Shizuragi.

Here they are! Let's talk about them!

Admittedly the first time around, I wasn't particularly into Shizuragi, I was too busy mourning the absense of Ugetsu. But it was during their sex scene where I realised something was very wrong. I was having flashbacks to the Akiharu assault chapter but this time it was played as "love" rather than something reprehensible. Once again, assault was in the manga and it, once again, resolved with badly.

I feel like sexual assault being played off as "love" and being resolved literally the next chapter with the victim being all kosher with it, should be garnering people's "??? what the fuck"s and not to bat for the opposing team for once but where are the complaints. I've actually seen some people talking about this chapter, but I would have expected more.

Hiiragi said he was scared and was crying, but they still fucked anyway. :D <- smile of shock.

Um what. Haha... ha........ :D <- terrifed smile of shock.

I don't know whether it would have been worse that he knew he was assaulting Hiiragi or whether he didn't know at all. But he knew.

Shizusumi confessed his love the morning after and it was all okay. But, to be honest, the fact that it was played off as being "all okay" makes this even worse. It's normal in yaoi/BL for SA to be played off as love, but you'd think that the last place you'd see this is in Given of all places. SA is SA and the fact that Hiiragi was so accepting of what happened to him afterwards says something about this the culture of BL/yaoi and how we just go along with it says something about this sentiment of how "yaoi is always going to be yaoi".

We're done? We're done.

There are no more SA scenes (that I can remember). But I do want to touch on Mafuyu and Uenoyama as briefly as possible (This is a recount of my experience after all). So, Mafuyama.

Ah, yes. The start of everything.

Admittedly, I didn't actually find their relationship super compelling. This is because I tend to get tunnel vision on characters I like (in this case, I heavily tunnel visioned on Ugetsu). I do like them both, they just didn't fit within my vision. I thought they were sweet but I also see a lot of complaints about how Mafuyu was stuck on Yuki and Uenoyama was getting backseated and I do agree with this. Kind of.

I think Mafuyu's story is about growth as a person, it's like what people say: You don't move on or lose your grief, you grow around it. Grief doesn't get smaller, you just get bigger. The person he loved died and I don't think it's fair to say that he has to get over Yuki. Grief is something that sticks with you everywhere, something you have to carry every day. They're still teenagers, they're still young and still have room to grow.

But as a story? Sheesh, instead of Haruki having no place in their circle. I felt like Uenoyama, even when he's the protagonist, wasn't given his spotlight in his own story. There is no character arc for him, there is nothing for him and that's just not fair. There are two people in a relationship, so why does it always feel like, narratively, Uenoyama always comes as an afterthought?

You could have had a character arc about this... Relationships are meant to be balanced, sweetie...

I just think it's a shame, but they're nowhere near as unhealthy as the other couples in Given, so I'm giving them a gold star.

(Minor irk, I do not remember when this happened but why the hell does Yayoi (Uenoyama's sister) get a character arc (where she comes to an understanding about Mafuyama feelings for each other, but also the gay in general) but the man himself doesn't?)

So, with Mafuyama, I feel like the story could have focused a little more on Uenoyama's side. But I feel like it's similar to how Haruki's story kind of got the backseat to Akigetsu drama happenings at the time. Shrug, we can't have it all.

He's beautiful...

That's honestly... all my thoughts. Wow! That was a lot of them. I think there's a lot to be said about how yaoi treats SA and dub-con in general, even in a manga that's not even focused on the sex.

With that said, I don't think BL shouldn't have SA or dubious scenes but the aftermath should be dealt with better afterwards. I think with Given, it's a start that the SA (at least with Akiharu) wasn't romanticised, but the aftermath was just poorly executed.

But I'm not the yaoi police, I hold no authority and I don't support purity culture. I'm not an anti-anything and I also believe that fiction should be fiction. What people enjoy should no way equate to a person's worldview. But, this was just all my perspective and my opinion. I said it and now I'm done. Haha... Anyway, my paypal is—

[buckets-and-trees]

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/imyourbratzdoll/712204199793917952

Stop I love you for this

He’s the most beautiful most scrumptious man

I’m so happy for his gfs who get to have him

This is honestly so sweet

I need someone to do this to me, to bring me back to life. NOW 😭

OKAY YES, BUT LIKE I SAID BEFORE...

jdka;f;adlf

And nonnie, your ask here got me thinking about this again okay I think about his forehead kisses many times a week but that's beside the point

But I got to thinking about how this would play out with Bucky...

Characters/Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader - gif above is a female, but writing below is not female-coded, can be read gender neutral Content: bulleted head cannon, fluff, workplace angst A/N: we're just letting this spill out and seeing where it goes, no editing, and maybe I'm not the only one who needed this

there's an element of touch-starved in Bucky Barnes because of his time as the fist of HYDRA

but I think as he begins to come into his own again, one of the things he's probably constantly aware of is his body

because not only does he have fully autonomy again, he's also the super soldier - increased strength, sharper senses

he's not a weapon, but his movements matter, and especially because they're finally all his now again

once he's seeing you, in a relationship with you, he's very aware of how the acts of physical intimacy - hot and heavy and sexual, to the nuance, the normal moments

and he doesn't smother you 24/7 with constant touching, but once he knows he's all in with you (even if it's still early stages of the relationship and he's letting it move at a natural pace, not pushing because he just knows and he's content to let things unfold because he's happy) he doesn't hesitate or hold back at all with physical touch

one day after work, he's invited you to come to his place for dinner

he's cooking when you arrive, so when he lets you in, he greets you with a warm smile, pulls you in for a short but sound kiss, and then ushers you back into the kitchen with him

and as you fall into conversation, he can tell in your tone, it's finally been an awful day

he knows you've been burning the candle at both ends, and the past couple of weeks you've been putting in a lot of extra hours because there were special projects that really were important to you, and you're not one to half-ass anything, you're a stubborn over-achiever, and he loves that drive and spirit in you but he knew your relentless pace would call for recovery at some point

so first he listens while you explain what happened that day, continuing to fix dinner while you lean up against the counter

"and I love my job, and of course it isn't perfect, but for the most part I still love the work, even though Rachel is still a pain in the ass, and I wish Jerry would do a bit more, and usually that's fine, but today I just wanted to cry or punch people pretty much all day after 12:30, and I hate that I felt that"

Bucky steps in front of you, letting one arm wrap around you to pull you close while his other hand cradles your jaw, tilting your head slightly, and his nose softly nuzzles over your brow before he plans a kiss on your forehead

you soften into his hold and he wraps his other arm around you

you tuck your head into the crook of his neck and he slowly rubs your back

"you're allowed to not like your job sometimes - it's work"

you groan, "and it's worse because I'm complaining to a freaking avenger as if you don't risk your life every time you go to work"

"don't do that, what you do is important, too - and let's not over exaggerate: I'm more durable than your average avenger, so it's not that risky"

he can't fix this, and he knows you don't want him to, but he can listen, and he'll hold you and tell you with more touches and kisses throughout the night that you matter to him and he sees the hard work you put into you career, and he'll talk and not talk with you the rest of the evening

he'll worship you properly in his bed, and then he'll convince you to stay over, and in the morning he'll convince you to take the day off because you really do need the rest and he can spoil you and spend more time memorizing every inch of your body all day which is just a fringe benefit for him

but orgasms aside, the way your heart swells each time he takes a moment simply to plant his affection, his adoration for you with a soft kiss on your forehead...no one needs forehead kisses, they're not in the script, and so they mean something both to him when he gives them and to you when you feel those lips mark you with tenderness

he did it when you dropped off to sleep, he did it when the two of you woke up

you'll stay in his arms forever if this is what it will mean to be his to care about and share a life with

[iridescentscarecrow]

self indulgent semi critical stream of consciousness thoughts on p2 & csm's writing style --

re: the comedy point: i do say this a lot but fujimoto uses the same tension for both comedy & horror -- the punchline of a Joke disrupts just as a rupture of tension -> horror occurs. & this is why i appreciate the writing last chapter, personally. the crassness/hilarity to it almost contributes to how i'm reading it. he hates his body/the body becomes a point of comedic objection. this kind of relies on being able to see how this meshing of telling & character overlap: which i find q. compelling re: how sexual trauma works, the way it kind of deprecates, lessens your sense of self. it's a story very lived in & deeply Felt wrt how all its characters are written (the butt of the joke refuses to simply Be that, if it makes sense. kobeni's distress in the family burger chs is hilarious but its also a haunting, empathetic, portrait of corporate/family violence; comedy further built on the hollowness of what the CSM being there/going through This Motion means.)

this for sure won't work for every reader, tbh, & i understand this because it's a fine line to tread between portraying this effectively & it just coming off as insensitive. i'm personally very interested in genres & working within genres|how horror/comedy/character presentations conflict, intersect so i'm enjoying it... but it's true that p2 often feels hollower of a story than p1 & this isn't Bad, per se: i think what fjmt is trying to say is a lot more ambitious, a lot more immersed in technique - that it often takes away from some of the contemplative rawness (which does, by contrast, feature in some of p2's more widely loved chapters) that fills p1. p2's ruptures of tension are more at the forefront, a lot of the frame behind it is *so* based on minimal technical nuance that it doesn't really nestle onto you in the same way, if that makes sense? i'm mostly positive about plot elements on main but i've been eyeing the asa erasure with skepticism for a while. it's really a much weaker story without her, no matter what thematic point that i think is being made here. i mean, perhaps because when you deplete the asa to the story you're left with denji - who is mostly *passive*, doesn't produce narrative (unlike asa/makima) which writes the story for you. denji's brilliance is in spurts, contrasted/set against other character's selves - often in refutation of them - in a desperate kind of <proof of life>, of having been imbued with thus written experience, of this being so deeply felt - & this is what gets to fans too, i feel. his life as visible through <written> form/against, caught within structure & other's wants. this is also why i think those nayuta chapters (as an extension of mkm) were so great because of what it did for nayuta & denji. you see him through her eyes, & then you see *him.* i think the issue with asa is that a large amt of her character also has like a (similar to denji) self hate, a repression which makes itself known very well when we're inside her head but atp rn we can't see that at all, because she's modelled herself (& i think this is rlly cool narratively) around the idea of the CSM she's meant to work as an extension of. & this self modelling paired w. being Out of her head makes her feel (to me) awfully flat. & this is upsetting, because i really like asa!

but at some levels i appreciate the ambition to p2's greater story that i can forgive individual characters being diluted in the fray. but this isn't true for everyone | shouldn't even be because csm is a story *felt* through its characters, within its absurdity... the reason most people like it is because aspects of it resonate with them. & this kind of jarr is pretty much fjmt's biggest writing issue - it's what i've personally criticised / seen others criticise w. p1 (power's character's writing towards the end) & it's why i see people rightfully criticise p2.

this is already a very self indulgent thread so i'm also going to bring up *why* i like characters such as reze, makima, togata: their character presentation compels enough to really intertwine with the flesh of them in ways that are... kind of hard to ignore to fully receive the story. if that makes sense: their surface is so much condensed trope.. in fact, this is true of even aki who i think i'd argue is the best written character in p1 functioning outside the (makima-denji) centre w. the revenge trope.

anyway: it's kind of also because of these reasons that i feel that p2 will just *work* better when read as a whole,, because of the frame fjmt has himself set up it becomes a little difficult to resonate w. it in individual moment, chapter to chapter, because atp you have to either be (a) incredibly aware of this larger structure which is... difficult to do for a weekly release at least to sustain a good amt of immersion or (b) recognise the narrative that emanates from trauma reltd. mechanism & since this is more personal: it's harder to find yourself here & it becomes.. disconnected, frustrating moment after moment where it becomes not just a <character work> but a <one character work>. & i find this hits in these instances w. people who empathise w. denji as do i! but i find little discussion of this as Implication rippling into story structure (although fjmt's story is built on/into his main character as it was in p1)... it's Hard without a writing force like mkm to make denji cohere into a largely invisible narrative.

honestly could talk more about this for ages:: even wrt. my issues with like... a large amount of the back half of Fire Punch which don't come from a place of thematic incoherency at all. i legit feel fujimoto needs a frame for his story to work <within instance> & i see him trying to bring in katana etc. here (& other male characters) in order to deploy what he's saying but their framings don't.. linger enough to really grip into you as Story imo. the single family callback into p1 makima shook me far more.

wishful thought but i think asa's head would be interesting to get into because we *have* yuko there as meaningful setup in order to really direction... i loved the yuko dialogue use in 165 but her ghost feels. Almost too subtle rn, imo. this is just like,,, a small portion of my thoughts regarding p2 & its criticisms rn;; bear in mind, i really like/hold bias towards the themes p2 is playing with [concurrs a lot w. my interests] but i also really enjoy going on & on about storytelling technique LMAO. i'm looking forward to seeing how this arc concludes.

[saintsenara]

Ah, see, that irks me, but unfortunately, it does not surprise me. The idea that Hermione is the more emotionally mature one, more attuned one, Harry's REAL best friend of the two is a view with which that goddamned yankee screenwriter has plagued this fandom for decades now. Whenever I see this take in drarry/snarry/whathaveyouarry-- where Ron is the last person to come around to the absurdity, I'm reminded immediately of how, when Hermione was having the kittens about Harry floo-calling Sirius, it was Ron who put his foot down and said "Harry can decide for himself."

I think this fandom really overlooks, in favour of magnifying his jealousy, just how deeply Ron trusts Harry and thinks the world of him, how impressed he is by Harry as a person, how much he's willing to put his own life in Harry's hands. There's a reason that Ron and Harry are a Dog and Stag just like Sirius and James, which is to say that when Harry makes ostensibly shite decisions, Ron is most likely to hear him out. The locket had him acting completely unlike himself, and the pseudo-possession there is a different conversation.

I also think it's fascinating that for all that Ron nearly has a fit every time someone says "Voldemort" around him, he seems to have a very nuanced understanding of Harry and Voldemort's connection, unlike Hermione who accuses Harry of liking it, and Ginny, who only sees her possession at the hands of the diary as deeply traumatic. Ron understands that Harry understands Voldemort and the man he once was, and you can do a lot with that.

yes. just yes to all of this.

ron and harry [and james and sirius] are basically two pair-bonded cats - they run around sharing a braincell [and i do feel for hermione trying to manage ron's willingness to hear one of harry's dumb plans and say "you son-of-a-bitch, i'm in"] but they do also trust each other so profoundly that it feels like an actual crime for it to have been left out of the films.

and part of that trust is that - unlike hermione, who as i've said elsewhere, often gives the impression of being afraid of harry - ron isn't afraid to be honest with harry, even if that honesty is in the tough-love vein. he's actually entirely correct in deathly hallows that harry hasn't thought the horcrux hunt through, that this lack of planning is making them inefficient and putting them in more danger, and that harry's increasing belief that he's the only person the war is happening to is an enormous disrespect to the people who are putting their lives on the line to support him, including ginny.

because something i get in the critical comments of one year in every ten as well is the idea that ron would cut ties with harry if his relationship with ginny broke down. and, besides the fact that divorce is not always acrimonious, this annoys me because i think it fails to appreciate what ron would be particularly upset about: that, in pretending his marriage was fine, harry was being dishonest, and that his dishonesty would end up hurting ginny and hurting him.

i wanted ron to be the person who'd always suspected that harry wasn't being entirely open about his sexuality - and the person who'd actually done some thinking about what impact this might have on the state of the hinny marriage - and i wanted this to lead into ron's view that a strange but clearly raw and real relationship between harry and tom is better, whatever the other costs it has, than fantasy happiness with ginny simply because harry's too afraid to admit who he is and what he wants.

and absolutely - my "ron is a tomarry shipper" conspiracy theory is heavily rooted in the fact that ron is nowhere near as freaked out by their mind connection, nor by harry's interest in indulging it, as hermione is. it is also rooted in ron saying the quiet part out loud in deathly hallows:

You really understand him.

the best man speech writes itself!

[mail-me-a-snail]

for the fanfic ask meme: B, F, H, I, M, Q, R, S, T, U & V!!! c:

OH BOY <3

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

welllll the everyday miscellaneous was um 99% projecting. i was working thru some mental stuff n i really needed an outlet and bill tench was right there!

F: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?

does this mean one of my own or one i like. either way ill drop some reccs from both pools.

while im still reading @swearingcactus 's pick me up and memory downs, the hurt/comfort is so so tasty and i love love how the twist is sprinkled into the earlier chapters and its all starting to unfold.

apart from that, @civilization-illstayrighthere 's funny you should ask makes me want to BAWL. if u like the hurt/comfort of past inputs and a love thats a few shades from poisonous, this is the one for u.

as for my own, the your heart is on my sleeve series is just h/c after h/c with some major character death sprinkled in :P

H: How would you describe your style?

i write like im writing for an audiobook. i focus on how sentences would sound rolling off someones tongue, how theyd hit physically once said out loud, etc, because its one of the best ways to figure out how awkward a sentence might sound otherwise.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

sexual tension and homoerotic teasing but not full blown smut. love it when a character touches another person in some way that gets them flustered and red and then the author leaves it at that :3 so fucking delicious.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

one im working on rn has vance infected with a virus that slowly starts raising his internal body temperature degree by degree before he overheats and the virus resets to repeat the cycle :] he has to get it out before it reaches his brain

Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

blinks wetly. i dont wanna talk about it theres a whole sideblog dedicated to one of them. but also i had this fic idea where vance gets caught by militech and its this whole thing...theres also a handful of scenes i wrote where kerry goes to vance's apartment in the glen n discovers (to his horror) how many jackets his boyfriend actually has

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

samantha downing, suzanne collins, austin chant, helena fox, and tj klune are my biggest influences :3 fanfic wise, it would be the two i mentioned above and @glitchinginthegarden and you!! you august you!!!

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

when two characters r bitter divorced exes but theyre still madly in love with each other and HATEEE the fact that they are. i want them to hatefuck and be pissed off about it

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

please. lord god. stop woobifying villains. i would like them to retain the nuance they have in canon thank u

U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven’t tried yet.

SILVERDYNE. i want 2 write for them so bad but i dont know what premise would be interesting to me. im rotating them certainly but nothing's come of it so far

V: A secondary (or underrated) character you want to see more of in fic?

where is rogue my friend the love of my life rogue amendiares

[morimakesfanart]

I was born in a country that didn't really advertise the lgbtq Community ( most people are homophobic) I was about 14 when I learned that there were other genders the only ones I knew were boy and girl Im 15 years old now and still have a hard time asking questions about this subject to my parents, Im an internet child and everything I know is from the internet. Im not sure what is correct or wrong because internet people sexualises Im sorry for being silent. I just dont know what I should say

It's totally fine! You don't have to say anything if you aren't comfortable or don't want to. :3 I didn't find out that there were nonbinary genders until I was in my 20's. I thought I was a girl that was a boy sometimes and had no idea that there were other people like me. My parents knew and taught me about gay, lesbian and bisexual when I was 7-8, so I've known for a long time that I wasn't straight. We all get exposed to these things at different rates. (I didn't have private access to the internet until I was 19 when I saved up to get my own computer)

As long as you remain respectful, I am fully willing to answer any questions about my sexuality and gender :3

I'll say it forever: ignorance is not a sin. No one comes into this world knowing everything. And education and exposure to things is absolutely a privilege :3 As long as you are willing to learn and are respectful, it is okay to not know something. It only becomes a problem when someone tries to force others to fit their expectations.

Semi recently I was asked in dms to explain LGBTQ+ stuff by a few different people that were new to it, so I already have explanations ready :D

Note: these explanations use USA names and understandings for things. Other cultures and languages have different words. I am explaining the basics for a lot of aspects of LGBT+ so I won't be explaining a lot of the nuance. Consider this a place to get started in learning what terms to search for so you can find more, or have more words to be able to ask questions :3 The LGBTQIA+ WIKI is a good resource to look up more information.

Explanation under the cut because it's long. I broke it down into 3 sections: biological sex, gender, sexuality/romantic attraction.

Biological Sex

Biological sex, and gender are 2 separate things. Sex determins your gonads (sex organs).

There are many possible chromosome combinations that determine a human's biological sex. It is true that there are 2 combinations that are the most common (XX, XY). The others are rare and affect the body in different ways (X, XXY, XYY, YY, XXXY, etc). Many of these lead to a person having a mix of gonads, may be missing one or more sexual organs or have different hormone balances. This makes them ntersex. The fact that someone is intersex might not be visible if the difference is internal. Because of this many intersex people have no way to know they are intersex without getting a DNA test. There is a very small percent of the population that is innersex. Google gives the number 1.7%, but remember that 1.7% of 8.05 billionis is still tens of millions of people. (Intersex is the I in LGBTQIA+)

Gender

Gender is a collection of expectations and presentations defined by a culture -normally paired to a person's preceived sex. Many things that are normal for a gender in one culture will not be the same in other cultures. These expectations normally define: hair length, clothes, family role, etc). Most people do not fully adhere with the expectations on their gender.

Gender nonconforming means that the person does not conform to the social expectations of their gender beyond the normal deviation. This can include using vocal and visual mannerisms, or pronouns that don't align with their gender. (Feminine men, he/him women, etc )

Cis gender- identifying with your assigned gender at birth. (Man, woman (the binary genders))

Trans gender- not identifying with your assigned gender. (Trans man, trans woman, any nonbinary gender)

Nonbinary is not identifying with the social belief that there are only 2 genders; it is not a 3rd gender. There are multiple genders that don't fit in the binary that fall under the umbrella title of nonbinary. (You might see nonbinary shortened to enby which is from the pronunciation of "NB", but to differentiate it from NB which stands for "not black.") Some common nonbinary genders are agender, demi boy/demi girl, bi gender, and gender fluid (like me :D).

Sexuality (& Romantic Attraction)

Sexuality is what genders you are attracted to -normally uses your gender as a basis. Since the names of many of these were made before it was more widely accepted that there are more than 2 genders, the names often reflect the gender binary. If you research the history of all of them you will find far more nuance.

The term queer was used as a slur for a time, but the community has reclaimed it, and often uses it as an umbrella term for anyone who is LGBTQIA+ (it is also what the Q stands for). Since it was considered a slur, many people aren't comfortable being called it, so it's good practice to not call someone queer without their permission even if they are LGBT+. I really like the term queer and often refer to myself as queer because it can be a lot easier than explaining my specific gender and sexuality.

Straight- attracted to the opposite gender

Gay- men attracted to men

Lesbian- women attracted to women.

Straight, gay, and lesbian are generally considered attracted to exclusively one gender. The term "fluid" can be attached to these to say that while they are mainly attracted to [gender] sometimes they are attracted to other genders. You may also see these terms attached to bisexual to denote preference.

Since gay and lesbian are widely considered attracted to exclusively one gender there are other terms becoming popular that are not as exclusive. Sapphic is women that love women (and can love other genders). Achillean is men that love men (and can love other genders).

It's also worth noting that Straight, Gay and Lesbian are accepting of non binary genders in both who can identify with the sexuality labels, and who they are attracted to.

Enbian- nonbinary people attracted to nonbinary people (this is a semi new term that is still developing.)

Bisexual- there's a lot of debate on the exact meaning, but it has come to be accepted as an umbrella term for people who are attracted to more than one gender. (I fall under this one. I normally say I'm bi/pan fluid because my preference moves around a lot -depends on what characters I've been hyperfixating on recently XD)

Asexual (ace)- someone who does not experience sexual attraction. They may or may not experience sexual desire (horny). They can still experience romantic attraction and crave romantic relationships.

Aromantic (aro)- someone who does not experience romantic attraction. They may or may not experience romantic desire. They can still experience sexual attraction.

Note that Asexual and Aromantic are spectrums. These are the most common that I tend to see, and for a while where used as sub-umbrella terms:

Asexual/aromantic- does not experience attraction

Gray sexual/romantic- experiences attraction in rare circumstance or only when specific things are in place (can be like having very specific taste). Or they can only experience attraction in a mild way.

Demi sexual/romantic- experiences attraction only after forming a bond with a person. For many this is only after knowing someone for a long time, but doesn't always have to be.

Asexual and Aromantic people will often specify their combination. Examples: Asexual Lesbian Romantic; Aromantic Bisexual. (I am Gray bi/pan romantic, and Demi sexual (specifically cupiosexual))

Also, regardless on whether or not someone experiences sexual attraction, they may or may not be accepting of, or like sex. This is normally broken down into 3 umbrella levels: Sex Favorable, Sex Neutral, Sex Repulsed. Sex favorable is considered the normal for non-ace relationships. It's very common for people that experienced sexual abuse to be sex repulsed. (I am sex favorable)

There is a lot of overlap with these, as well as with ace and aro. For example: in fandom and fanfiction spaces expect to find many asexuals that are sex repulsed in real life but love to explore sex in fiction.

One final note: the A in LGBTQIA+ refers to agender, asexual and aromantic. It does not refer to ally.

If anyone has any questions about these, I will do my best to respond and give links to where you can do more reading. For obvious reasons I know more about the parts I identify with, than the parts I don't :3

[denimbex1986]

'For Andrew Scott, the Hot Priest questions are cooling down.

Yes, the affable Irish actor is still best known stateside as a devout dreamboat on “Fleabag” with Phoebe Waller-Bridge. But lately, he’s encountered more people who are eager to discuss "All of Us Strangers" (in select theaters now, nationwide Friday), a crushing gay romance that reckons with mortality.

“I was at the gym and this girl came up who’d just seen the movie,” says Scott, 47, still in his sweats as he refuels with scrambled eggs, toast and green juice. “Like all good art, it sparks a need in people to speak a little about their experience. I find it really moving they would trust me to talk about their lives – they feel like I’ve seen them.”

In the fantastical drama, Scott plays a lonely writer named Adam who ventures back to his boyhood home, where he discovers his long-dead parents (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell) are actually alive. Over many visits, he reverts to a childlike state: unpacking his old pajamas and past traumas and climbing into their bed for late-night heart-to-hearts. It’s a remarkably unguarded performance that could earn Scott his first Oscar nomination for best actor.

“He’s one of the most extraordinary human beings I've ever had the privilege of meeting,” co-star Paul Mescal says. “The work that he does in the film is a testament to the person he is. That kind of vulnerability is what’s present in his friendship with me.”

Adam’s parents died in the 1980s, and are still stuck in their younger bodies and mindsets when he returns home. As a result, Adam wrestles with their outdated ideas around homosexuality and what it means to be a man.

“There was so much nuance I wanted to get across that I needed the actor to really understand what that felt like,” writer/director Andrew Haigh says. “So when you see Andrew, that is genuine emotion that he cannot hide or escape. You can’t fake that.”

The film was shot in Haigh’s real childhood home, which added levels of responsibility and intimacy that Scott had never experienced before on a set.

“Because he offered that up, I was going to offer my own stuff up and give my experience,” Scott says. “Whatever it is that we created, it’s certainly authentic to both of us.”

Scott was born and raised in Dublin. His mom was an art teacher, while his dad worked at an employment agency. As a kid with a "very strong imagination," he enrolled in drama classes to help overcome his shyness. He got his start in a porridge commercial at age 6, appearing in other ads and theater before booking his first film, “Korea,” at 17.

Even at an early age, he felt different from his peers. His prized possession was a pair of binoculars, which reminded him of opera glasses from old movies (“Pretty gay, right?”). He remembers “the shame” of wanting to play with Barbie dolls, and the exhilaration he felt listening to disco legend Gloria Gaynor.

“I remember hearing ‘I Will Survive’ and thinking, ‘This song is for me!’ ” Scott says. “Not even knowing why – I was probably about 9. And then you find out 10 years later it’s a big gay anthem. That fascinates me because that has nothing to do with sexuality. That has to do with a feeling of otherness or defiance or drama.”

Scott came out to his parents in his early 20s, before publicly coming out in 2013 at age 37. At that time, he had already found success on TV with “Sherlock” and “John Adams.” But at the start of his career, people advised him not to speak about his sexuality, for fear that it might cost him roles.

“Coming out was the best thing that ever happened to me in relation to my work,” Scott says. “I got more opportunities. I felt like I was happier as a person. I was more experimental as an artist. Before that, you’re in a slightly speculative world where you’re thinking, ‘Well, if they saw this side of me, would I be (rejected)?’ Now, I don’t feel as defensive as I used to be.”

Working the awards circuit in recent months, he’s found camaraderie with other “incredible” gay actors including Colman Domingo, Jodie Foster and Jonathan Bailey.

“That community within my own life has become incredibly important to me as I grow older,” Scott says. “There’s something about having gay friends that is really special to me now. There’s a shorthand and hopefully an empathy among us.”

Like any actor, Scott never wants to be solely defined by his sexuality. “That’s one of the things that I think is a fear for a lot of queer people,” he says. “I don’t want that to be ignored, nor do I want to be drowning in that one attribute the whole time.” Luckily, “I’ve had an opportunity to play lots of different types of parts,” including a villain in the James Bond movie “Spectre” and a lieutenant in the war drama “1917.”

Next up, he stars in the Netflix series “Ripley,” which he describes as a “stunning” and “quite faithful” adaptation of Patricia Highsmith's novel “The Talented Mr. Ripley.” After leading a one-man “Uncle Vanya” in London last year, he would also like to do a musical (“But it’s hard because I can’t sing!”).

He recently got to watch “All of Us Strangers” with his parents, which they “loved.” Going forward, he believes the movie has made him a more open and confident performer.

“I’ve always brought myself to every character, but in this film, I certainly did more than any other one,” Scott says. “The fact that people have responded to it encourages me to share more. We’re not here long, so I’m just trying to be courageous in some way.”'

[thinkatoryprocess]

The mutual attraction and sexual tension is definitely there but I do wonder how much of that is intentional on the show’s part vs Kieran and Justin just having obvious chemistry. How do you plan on doing this in throuple au? And with any future fics with the show presenting him as way more sinister a presence. Also how does this episode effect the other throuple au pairings?

When it comes to the chemistry, I'm choosing to be Watsonian about it - what's on the screen has scorching chemistry, so I'm not focused on looking at the page dead without the actors' portrayal involved. I'm not mad, FYI, just being clear. Sure, they may not have meant it that way, but they sure didn't choose to back down on Roman's connection to Mencken when they saw how Kieran and Justin played it.

So in future fics, or going forward. I meant to address this tomorrow, but it seems prudent to do so now. I sincerely think that Mencken is definitely far right, and flirts with some nasty stuff, and probably the show won't dig into it further than that, and I respect that. Here's where I say "however":

However, I think there's room to play with nuance based on dialogue from What It Takes, which is entirely what I used for characterization in YKW and going forward. I think with Mencken, he's definitely an asshole, but he's an asshole who reads. He's an asshole who knows what his opposition and what his field has to say about anything. I also think we can't entirely draw our conclusions about him based on what he says on the conservative propaganda outlet on election night. So I think he's more complex than he appears if you watch the bathroom scene, and that's why I was originally drawn to him.

So I guess that's the start of my answer; he's definitely tilting towards some bad windmills, but I also don't think he can't be reasoned with. He doesn't seem like someone who has his mind made up, and he seems open to dialogue with people he respects (which is not everyone, as we've seen). There's room there for an actual character.

Roman isn't apparently all that put off by the icky stuff, though that's not really a huge surprise, but that's just because it's not real to him. Why would it be? I don't think Roman's actively antisemitic or racist either, I just think he hasn't had reason to think past a lot of the shitty stuff Logan said and actively tried to internalize a lot of Logan's stuff so he didn't get on his bad side/almost could get on his good side.

So do Mencken and Roman wind up discussing sociopolitical things only to find that they're dragging each other in different directions and wind up somewhere new entirely? That's interesting. I think the two of them could spend a lot of time talking, not only because they're both people who talk a lot, but because they're genuinely interested in one another and respect one another.

That works for me for throuple AU and otherwise. I'm adjusting my characterization ever so slightly in general, but that might not be noticeable. These are important notes, though, ones I think I need to get out there.

[all-made-of-stardust]

you wanna know what really gets me about Orym?

A lot of people have been talking about how hard Orym’s grief is hitting.  How Liam is coming from a place where he truly knows how it feels to lose a loved one and then, six years later, still miss them horribly (Orym, his husband, Liam, his mom).  And I think that’s absolutely beautiful, how Liam can tackle such a realistic situation in such a poignant way.  I want to see what he ends up doing with Orym.  I want to see how Orym’s story unfolds.

But you know what I haven’t seen much remarked upon?

Orym is queer.

It hasn’t fully been established what Orym’s true sexuality is, but the reality is that he, a man, married another man.  He is queer in every sense of the word.  And his sexuality is played 100% direct and serious.  Chetney didn’t laugh at the prospect of Orym marrying another dude.  None of the cast snickered or made fun of the fact that it is a gay pairing.  Hell, just a few episodes ago, the party was playing therapy for, you guessed it, another (ex)romantic pair of men.

The world of Exandria doesn’t have time for homophobia.  And the cast of Critical Role (hell, the company itself) does not tolerate it in the slightest.

And you know what that results in?  People watching get to see the story of a queer man go through grief and loss and sadness just like any heterosexual character would, in any other media.  Only this time, it’s queer.

And dear god is that not refreshing.  To see not only the remnants of a happy and thriving queer couple, but to see a layered, nuanced, and beautiful story of grief and longing unfold in a space where the queerness of it all is never questioned.  It is never made fun of, or scorned.  It is accepted.

I don’t know, something about the fact that “So I can remember my husband” is never met with any sort of prejudice or hatred, and is instead met with comfort and sympathy.  How Travis, a man who grew up in Texas, where homophobia is very very present, as Chetney says “Will must have been very happy”.

Just the idea of a story being told in media of a multi-faceted, layered, beautifully tragic story of someone losing their partner just so happens to be queer.

It makes me really emotional that a story like this exists.

Thanks, Liam.

[highly-important]

While I’m still addicted to Heartstopper I kind of want to make a post about some of the things I thought Love Victor got wrong? (If you love that show maybe just don’t read this? I’m not trying to say its a terrible show or you can’t enjoy it, just pointing out things I think it could have done better.)

It’s an annoying discussion because a lot of what I don’t like about Love Victor is the nuance, and complaining about nuance in a story always makes you look like an idiot.

But I think there is a troubling pattern in LV where nearly every “gay” thing Victor does is almost never a positive thing. Victor is rarely allowed to be gay and pursue his romantic or personal interests without it also being a bad thing he shouldn’t have done.

And if LV wasn’t a show for teenagers I wouldn’t care that much (although the pattern is still troubling.) Young gay people are dealing with higher levels of internalized shame and trauma. Gay people are often hated, bullied, shamed or humiliated just for existing. Gay kids feel guilty for having crushes or holding hands. They’re not great judges of what behaviors are worthy of feeling shame or guilt because they don’t have a healthy relationship with those emotions.

In pursuing his authentic identity, Victor does a lot of bad things. His first kiss with Benji is while Benji is in a relationship. Victor also kisses Benji while he’s dating Mia. A lot Victor’s awakening to his sexual identity is paired with him lying to and hurting Mia. After Mia finds out Victor is gay, she’s understandably upset with him for a long time. When Victor runs to the city to try and find Simon, he has to violate his parent’s trust. Unlike his straight friends who have sex consequence free, Victor’s first time gets him in trouble with his mom because it was in the house with his brother in the other room.

Victor is infrequently allows to have a gay “milestone” moment that isn’t tinged with guilt. Doing the “gay” thing on LV is also often the “wrong” thing to do in the situation. This means that often whenever Victor makes a choice to be his authentic self, he’s making the wrong choice and there are narrative consequences.

And it comes up in other places as well. One plot line focuses on Victor’s newly fraught relationship with his mother. A lot of her parenting choices are harming Victor. Even when she is called out for it, the act of calling her out is seen as a negative. And on the flip side; while Victor’s dad is becoming supportive, he is really rarely shown actually supporting Victor. LV also never questions whether Victor has an obligation to listen to his mother’s homophobic rules.

In an episode about bullying, Victor is being picked on by his homophobic teammates. But he’s also being teased by Benji’s gay friends. This kind of “both sides” thing really makes the show feel like it was made for a straight audience. In the end, a straight savior solves the homophobia issue and Victor forgives the team for being homophobic. But Victor never again befriends Benji’s gay friends. LV misses out on making a statement about how queer friendships can be very healing and supportive. One of the ways queer teens negatively cope with internalized homophobia is by distancing themselves from other LGBTQ people, and LV encourages that kind of behavior here and in other instances.

I just don’t think the writers really think about the message they’re sending.

I think the way most LGBTQ people experience shame can be compared to the Overton window. By that I mean, there is this “window” of what we see as acceptable levels of guilt, and unacceptable levels of shame. Because queer teens are more likely to experience high levels of shame and humiliation, their baseline level of shame is still at unhealthy levels.

If all your depictions of homosexuality are still somewhat shameful, your media isn’t going to have a healthy impact on queer teenagers. Yes, gay teens will still lap up the crumbs because the LGBTQ community has been making do by reclaiming harmful depictions of ourselves for the past century. But we deserve way better than this.

There is a reason why the big gay holiday is Pride- because it takes extreme levels of pride just to make a LGBTQ person feel a regular baseline level of shame.

Love Simon had similar problems. Both stories depict homosexuality as being abnormal. Both stories make gay men responsible if their straight female friends catch feelings for them. Both stories have really bad messaging around coming out. Both stories make a lot of excuses for homophobic behavior. Both stories have moments of femme-phobia and don’t really question their main characters’ internalized homophobia.

There are other problems with the show too. Too much of the cast of characters is straight, and they absorb too much of the narrative and often get more interesting stories than the gay lead. Only one gay character gets POV episodes. The main gay couple has bad chemistry. Benji’s backstory timeline is just insane, like speed running through a season of Degrassi over one summer. Season 2′s potential is completely wasted by messy relationships. There’s other stuff, I’m just tired.

[bakusquad-assemble]

The Conference room

Genre: enemies to “lovers”, but they’re both emotionally stunted and don’t know how to express themselves.

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x bratty fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ content, unprotected sex, slight exhibitionism, degradation, hate sex, Bakugou catching feelings

Word count: 4.7k

Description: Reader is a pro-hero tasked with working with her worst nightmare; Bakugou Katsuki. The two of them have never seen eye to eye, making it impossible to get anything accomplished. But when Bakugou jumps at her from across the table, things take an unexpected turn.

A/N: had an idea and ran with it! I’m a total sucker for enemies to lovers so I had to indulge! While this can be read as a one shot, I also wouldn’t be opposed to making it a series? Lemme know what you guys think! This is my first time writing anything like this, so please be kind.



“God, you’re insufferable, you know that?” You rolled your eyes, falling back into your chair with an exasperated huff. There were a few things that you didn’t enjoy about being a Pro hero, like the long hours and the lack of privacy, but this absolutely took the cake.

Bakugou Katsuki, or Dynamight as he was known to the public, sat in front of you clad in simple business attire with the nastiest scowl plastered on his dumb face. The two of your agencies had found themselves working together due to an influx in connected crime, and it had been the absolute worst thing you had ever experienced. The two of you had never seen eye to eye in the best of times, constantly teasing and bickering whenever you were in each other's presence, but having to work side by side with the explosive hero was like pulling teeth without any numbing agent. The two of you just didn’t mesh well together, constantly fighting for dominance of the situation, and it made for a very tense working environment for everyone involved. You were currently in the middle of coming up with an infiltration plan for a big villain hide-out, and Bakugou kept fighting you at every turn. He shot down every single one of your ideas, but had not yet made one himself. He was infuriating, and you wanted nothing more than to just walk out of the conference room and never speak to him again. You knew that was impossible though. People's lives were at stake and you weren’t selfish enough to let your discomfort affect your hero work.

Bakugou clicked his tongue at you, only adding to your frustration.

“You’re one to fucking talk!” He snarled in your direction, his hands balled into fists on top of the white marble table placed between you two.

“You haven’t come up with one usuable fucking plan all day!” His words were like venom, corroding your patience with every syllable. He had to be joking.

“Do you really have your head shoved so far up your own ass?” You started, the prominent look of detest written on your features.

“If my ideas are such shit, i'd like to see you come up with a better one! Or is that outside your levels of expertise? Does that brain of yours even have a rational mode or is it all just explosions and violence.” You could see his eyebrow twitching in anger at your words, and for some reason that excited you beyond belief. You loved getting under his skin, giving him a taste of his own medicine. It was cathartic in a way, watching him squirm.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” He spat viciously from across the table, his fists banging on the surface like an overgrown toddler throwing a tantrum. This time it was you clicking your tongue.

“I rest my case. I should have known working with you was going to be nothing but hell. Some pro hero you are, can’t even make a simple infiltration plan without throwing a fit.” Bakugou growled loudly, and you couldn’t help but akin his behavior to that of a feral animal.

“Will you shut the fuck up!” He seethed, but you were unfazed. You simply leaned back in your seat with an excited grin, crossing your arms over your chest as you did so. You weren't sure why arguing with the explosive man gave you such a rush of adrenaline, but you needed more. It was as if his words of resentment were a highly addictive drug, and you were itching for your next fix.

“Aww what's wrong, can’t handle a little bit of criticism?” Your confidence rang through the air like gun fire, piercing and tearing at Bakugou's skin. He was heated, you could tell by the way his pale skin flushed and how the faint smell of caramel assaulted your senses as he let off a few pops of his quirk in his fists. If you hadn’t known the man in front of you, perhaps you would have been intimidated by his crude actions, but you knew Bakugou would never lay a hand on you. No matter how heated your arguments got.

This certainly wasn’t the first time you had argued like this, it happened to be a recurring theme for the both of you whenever you were in the same room, but today something felt different. The tension laid heavy between you two, tangible, but it was laced with something you couldn’t quite pinpoint; A warmth pooling in your stomach.

“I said shut the hell up!” He screamed, standing up from his chair in a huff. You had pushed him too far, letting your teasing nature get the better of you as it had been known to do. Yet, instead of dropping it, moving on with your work, you persisted. You poked the bear once more, but this time in a way that surprised even you. You locked eyes with his piercing crimson ones, rising from your chair with formidable authority. Your chin tilting up ever so slightly as you spoke, letting the warmth in your stomach take over.

“Why don’t you come over here and make me, Dynamight”

Bakugou froze, and you couldn’t help but smirk victoriously. You knew the teasing tone would be enough to fluster him, to shut him down and win the argument so you could get back to working in silence. What you weren’t expecting was the way his breath caught in his throat, or the fervent blush that crept up his neck and consumed his features. And you certainly were not expecting the way your face reciprocated immediately upon sight. The palpable tension consuming the two of you, and the realization hitting you like a ton of bricks. It was not the feeling of complete and utter disdain that always lingered there, but instead something far worse. The warmth that had been bubbling in your lower abdomen was now yelling at you, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that feeling had always been there, simply lurking under the guise of hatred. Your eyes took in his features with a new glazed expression, subconsciously nibbling at your lower lip as you did so. The way you could see his heart hammer in his chest made you question if he was feeling the same sensation you currently were.

Your mind didn’t have much time to process that thought however, because within an instant Bakugou was throwing himself at you from across the table. His mouth on yours in seconds and his hands gripped at the back of your head to hold you tightly into the kiss, as if trying to relish in a fleeting moment. It was like a shock wave of intensity took over you, throwing all caution to the wind, and you found yourself kissing back with unexpected heat before you even had time to think. He slammed your smaller frame against the cold concrete of the office wall and you couldn't control the small yelp that slipped into his mouth. He had no idea why he was doing this. Why did your words have such an impact on him? Whatever had possessed him in the moment seemed to have taken hold of you as well. He wasn’t expecting you to kiss back with such fervor, in fact, he was fully convinced he was going to earn himself a solid punch to the mouth. But that wasn’t the case, and it made him question if those flirtatious and subtle sexual nuances had always littered your vocabulary, or if it had been a heat of the moment thing for you as well. One thing he knew for certain was that he had always found you enticing. The way you quipped back at him with ease, moving through his words as if you were bullet proof. His insults never penetrating your perfect complexion. And the way you would smirk at him, it was intoxicating. The way you knew just how to get under his skin. He hated it, and even though he’d hate to admit it, he loved it so much more.

His rough and calloused hands kept a firm grip on you, finally getting a chance to enjoy that perfect frame up close and personal. Your hands tangled up in his ash blonde locks, pulling at them roughly and putting space between your mouths so that your lips were just barely hovering above his lower one. Even still he could feel the delicious grin that overtook your features at the involuntary whimper that escaped his lips from the lack of contact. It wasn’t long before he was pulling against you to initiate the kiss again, and you did nothing to stop him, allowing him to dive back in and devour those sweet and supple bruised lips of yours once more. God, how he had always wanted this. He let his pelvis grind into yours, his hand finding its home on your hip to pull you in closer, forcing a moan to creep its way out of your throat. He wasn’t sure what had come over him; repression, pent up sexual tension, pure feral instinct, but he just couldn’t control himself. Especially not when such a lewd and sweet sounding moan cascaded from your lips like that. He had to have you now.

The faint noise of the lock clicking behind him rang in his ears like one of his explosions, and he found his head whipping in this direction of the noise as if expecting to see someone witnessing something they weren’t supposed to. Instead he saw the faint golden glow of your quirk, and upon rounding his eyes back to you, saw everything that he needed to know written on your features. You had locked it over his shoulders using your psychokinetic quirk. He chuckled darkly above your lips, before swooping back in hungrily, taking your actions as a nonverbal cue to continue. You couldn’t get enough of his taste. The sickly-sweet sensation taking over your senses, and by the way he kissed you, you could only guess you were just as intoxicating to him. Your hips moved on their own accord, desperate to feel his hard cock rubbing against you through the slack of his pants, but you could feel the resistance from the blondes firm grip on your hips. You needed more of him, wanted to get rid of this disgusting heat inside of you. You knew he noticed how much you ached for him too, you could sense it in the way his ego grew in his chest with every movement. He was always so perceptive, and you hated that about him. How dare he be able to control you like this. Have this domineering hold around you that you most certainly did not allow in your daily life. You never took his shit. Never put up with his bitching. Yet here you were, horny and writhing in his grasp, desperate for his twitching cock to fill you up.

“What’s the matter, princess?” His husky voice cut through the room. The teasing nickname you detested grating at your senses and finding a new feeling bubbling up deep inside your abdomen. God, you fucking hated him.

“Don’t have anything else to fucking say?” He ground his hips against yours again, eliciting the same noise of wanting to come crashing around the two of you. You tried your best to suppress it this time, not wanting to give him the sheer satisfaction of knowing just how much he had you under his spell right now, but the noise forced its way out as a high pitched whimper. You felt the way his cock twitched against your heat, only adding to your sheer desire. Your head fell back against the wall as you bit harshly at your lip. How could you be so weak for this man that not even ten minutes ago you absolutely despised with everything in your being. He took that as an answer.

“Did I finally find a fucking way to shut you up, dumbass?” He whispered into your ear, the soft wetness overtaking your senses and filling you with pure adrenaline. His hand gripped at the hair on the back of your head like you had done to his only moments before, exposing your neck so that he could trail rough kisses down to your collarbone. Biting and nipping at the soft skin.

“If you want my cock so bad, beg for it. “ It was like a light switch had gone off in your brain at that very moment. You couldn’t let him win, Let him talk to you like this. No matter how much it made your juices pool in your panties like some kind of whore in heat, you couldn’t let him embarrass you like this.

“In your dreams, you fucking pervert.” you spat viciously, a salacious smile biting at your features. Bakugou's head rounded to meet your eyes, an interested smirk over taking his features.

“Huh? What did you say to me?” The venom was tangible, but it did nothing to deter you from spitting back again. This time the smirk on your lips growing into a confident one, even through your ragged pants of need.

“I said...in your fucking dreams. “ putting emphasis on each word He growled into your skin, vibrating your body with his raw and feral rage.

“You fuckin’ brat.”

You knew you had just signed your death warrant but you didn’t care, in fact, it only aroused you more. You needed to feel him inside of you. You needed the release. It was as if the room was spinning and the only thing that was keeping you grounded was the aching between your legs. The desperate need to feel something. You felt his grip grow tighter on you and before you knew it your face was pressed up against the cold wall in an instant. Bakugou's hand laid on the back of your head, gripping at your hair and pushing your face against the concrete, the other tightly locked on your hip, keeping your soaking cunt up against the hard bulge in his pants. You felt your body buck against it subconsciously, sending another shockwave of pleasure pulsing through your body, and his.

“You’re gonna pay for that.” He hissed into your ear. The hand that laid in your hair coiled itself around your neck, squeezing ever so slightly as he brought your head closer to his. You let out a slight gasp, but still a smirk laid ever present on your face.

“Good.”

His free hand made quick work of your soaking panties, pushing them to the side under the hem of your pencil skirt. One of his thick digits slipping against your wet folds before situating itself inside without much warning. Even with just his finger you felt so full. The warmth from his hand radiating inside of you and only aiding in your pleasure. Bakugou couldn’t help the noises that escaped his mouth as he worked your pussy with his fingers. The way your walls clamped around them and left them completely soaked only made his need for you grow.

“God, youre so fucking wet for me.” His breathing was erratic, greedy. He had been overcome with lust that he was barely registering what he was saying. Normally situations like this would absolutely fluster Bakugou, or just straight up never happen. Bakugou was always so focused on his hero work that hookups were few and far between, and certainly never quite this passionate. A quick fuck with no return call and that was it. There was just something about you that made his head spin. You were always a challenge, never backing down no matter how brutal his berating and instead firing back at him with such confidence that it caught him off guard more often than not. Sure, it was so infuriating, but he had a thing for strong women. So everytime you spit back with that ungodly sexy smirk of yours, the fire in Bakugou only grew. He never thought he’d see you like this though, never imagining that he would be able to make that pretty little mouth of yours moan out for him, but he had certainly spent countless nights alone with his hand gripped around himself at the very thought. He quickly added another finger as he pounded them into you, causing you to gasp out in pleasure.

“ Yeah, you like that? You little slut.” You shut your eyes tightly, feeling the embarrassment overtake you as your head nodded against his hand like the greedy slut you were. Normally you would never accept words like that to come out of a man's mouth toward you, but there was just something about the way Bakugou said them that had you reeling with anticipation.

He curled his fingers inside of you, toying with your sensitive spot ever so slightly. Did you really think a simple nod was going to satiate his need for praise? He was going to tease you until he got what he wanted.

“What was that?” He smirked against the skin of your neck, nibbling roughly at the sensitive skin. You felt your body jerk against him, sending his fingers deeper into you. You bit your lip hard to suppress the moan that overtook you.

“Just fuck me already, Katsuki! ” you whimpered, his first name feeling foreign in your mouth. You were growing impatient, and even though your words came out as a command, you knew deep down it was desperation. The embarrassment rampantly flooded through your body, turning you a deep shade of pink, but you pushed through it. You couldn’t keep letting him play with you like you were some toy, you had to take what you wanted any way you could. You needed to cum, and you certainly weren’t going to do it on his fingers, no matter how good they felt. You needed the real thing.

“I can’t take it anymore, just fuck me!” You reluctantly begged, trying to look anywhere but at the man behind you. You could feel the shock rush through Bakugou's body at your words, clearly taken aback for a second at your bluntness and hearing his name spill from your lips like that. A wave of determination flooded through his system. He was going to make you scream his name so everyone in the office could hear it, even from the confines of the soundproof meeting room. He quickly let go of you to fiddle with his belt buckle, but you didn’t dare move to look at him. Instead you found solace in rubbing your thighs together. The friction keeping you high, keeping you blind to what was really happening. To the fact that you had just begged Bakugou Katsuki, the biggest piece of shit you have ever met, to fuck you.

You felt the tip of his cock trace your sweet hole for a second, and you braced yourself for agony. You thought he was going to relentlessly tease you, break you, find some way to have you squirming in his grasp and begging again, but instead the feeling of him bottoming out in you quickly overtook all of your senses. He was surprised he had even lasted this long in the foreplay if he was honest. He needed you, needed to feel the way you felt around him. He had fantasized about this for years, what it would feel like to finally have you in such a compromising position, but he was in no way ready for the sheer bliss your walls brought him. You had him reeling. He grunted aggressively against your skin, not moving inside of you as if to take in this sensation. Who knew when it would happen again, or If it would happen again.

“Fuckkk” he whined, and somehow his words alone had you aching for more. If you thought his finger had you feeling full, it was no match for the size of his cock. You couldn’t help but rock back onto him, rotating your hips in a way that had the both of you moaning.

“Katsuki” His name dripped from your lips again like the words sweetest song. There was something about the way you said his first name that had him teetering on the edge. It was so sweet, like honey trickling down the curves of your lips, begging to be savoured, and like hell he was going to deny himself that sweetness. Even if he knew he would probably never get the chance to taste it again. He wasn’t going to miss this opportunity to pound you into oblivion. He pulled back for a second, his dick sliding out of your entrance and leaving you with a longing and empty feeling after being so full only a second ago. Your eyes widened, about to whimper out in distress at the loss, until the fullness came back to you forcefully. The roughness of his thrust sending your body bumping into the wall in front of you and causing a loud moan to escape your lips. Your hand quickly shot up to your mouth, covering it quickly in the hopes that no one had heard you. You felt Bakugou snicker in your ear, pulling your hand roughly away from its place over your mouth, his hot breath panting heavily onto your skin.

“Let them hear you. Let them hear so they know who you belong to.” He spat out in between thrusts, head clearly spinning from the pure ecstasy you brought him.

“You wish.” you hissed, sending your ass into him to meet his thrusts. Bakugou grit his teeth in pleasure, cursing out under his breath. You were definitely right about that. You were the one person Bakugou knew he would never be able to truly control, but honestly, he didn’t want to. You were a force to be reckoned with, and an absolute powerhouse of a Pro Hero, and he admired you. Just as you did him, in your own little way.

Bakugou brought his open palm down onto your exposed ass with a grin, the pain of his warm hand mixing with the pure ecstasy of his cock and eliciting a sharp gasp from your lips. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head, spinning from the sensation. Bakugou found himself groaning with every thrust, unable to force them down. You just felt too good, too addicting, and he needed more; needed to cum. His hand gripped at the back of your hair, pulling your head to the side so that his face was flush up against yours, his mouth inches from your ear. The sound of his erratic breathing and raw grunts of pleasure filled your senses immediately, making the warmth in your stomach bubble with excitement. You weren’t going to last much longer like this.

“Fuck” Your voice came out in a choked whimper, laced with blatant wanton lust.

“Like that, don’t stop.” You commanded, and Bakugou groaned in response. The grip on your hair tightened ever so slightly and you felt his teeth snarl against your ear, nipping at the exposed skin. He could tell you were close by the way your walls clamped around him, making it almost impossible to hold out any longer.

“Yeah” He panted in agreement, his thrusts becoming more unpredictable as he felt himself getting closer to the edge. It didn’t take much before you completely came undone around Bakugou. It was as if your body was floating weightlessly in space, a beautiful expanse of stars and colors blurring your vision, before gravity was quickly pulling you back down to earth abruptly, leaving your legs trembling from the impact.

Your hands subconsciously gripped Bakugou's, savoring in his warmth as you rode out your high around his thrusts, your head spinning with pure ecstasy and adrenaline. Bakugou buried his face into the crook of your neck, as if to hide the flush that had spread across his face from nonexistent eyes. Watching your body tense and shake around him had to be the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen in his life, and that was exactly what sent him over the edge.

“F-Fuck” His voice quivered against your skin and you felt his grip grow tighter on your hips, pulling you back into his pelvis to burry himself deeper within you. If you weren’t currently trembling from your own climax, perhaps you would’ve stopped Bakugou from coating your insides, but in the moment you didn’t seem to care. You felt your walls clamp down around him once more, desperately taking everything in without any fear of the consequences it might hold. Bakugou didn’t pull away from you, instead leaving his body flushed up against yours as the two of you attempted to regain your composure.

The room was silent, aside from the panting that still hung close to your ear. The primal lust that had just engulfed the two of you was quickly replaced with confusion, and the room was suddenly too silent. Bakugou pulled away from you at last, and his warmth that had enveloped you just two seconds ago now completely dissipated. You weren’t sure why, but you missed it immediately. It just felt so right, brought you so much comfort, and that very thought alone scared you. You quickly pulled yourself off the wall and rounded to look at the blonde man behind you as he fixed himself up. His face seemed to mimic yours, and you weren’t sure whether or not that was a good or a bad thing, but for the moment it brought you solace. You let out a shaky sigh before straightening the hem of your skirt against your reddened thighs. You could feel his eyes on you, like lasers burning your skin. You quirked an eyebrow up at him, trying your best to muster a smirk while your fingers worked tirelessly at untangling your hair that Bakugou had made a mess of.

Bakugou felt his voice rise in his throat as his eyes finally met with yours once more, he had so many questions; what was that all about? What does this mean for us? Can I take you out for dinner? but all of those questions died in his throat before they made it to his lips. The shake of your head deterring him from letting them out. You didn’t want him to say something he was going to regret, something stupid you say after the high of an orgasm. You weren’t sure what exactly that would’ve been, but you liked it better this way.

“Don’t, your stupid voice is what got us into this mess in the first place.” You tried your best to keep your voice even, calm, as if none of this had shaken you to your core. As if he wasn’t still lingering inside of you. As if you felt absolutely nothing from that encounter. Just another meaningless hook up, that was all. Or at least that was what you tried to tell yourself. You watched as Bakugou’s eyebrows furrowed, as they did whenever you spoke, but this time it felt off. Laced with something different. It would take you a while to pinpoint that exact feeling, but it would come to you nonetheless. When you were alone in your bed late at night, thinking about the way his eyes glistened, and his body tried to stay steady. Hurt.

You moved towards the tall blonde with a false sense of confidence, though to the unsuspecting eye you never faltered. Your delicate hand moving up to the tall blondes cheek and patting it roughly. The curves of your lips forming into that smirk that Bakugou loved detested so much.

“Leave the planning to me, I don’t really need your help anyway.” Your eyes locked with his for a moment, before you felt the need to break away. To slam the cover shut on those feelings that threatened to spill over the top of Pandora’s box. You sauntered past his form nonchalantly, your hips moving in a hypnotizing form that had Bakugou unable to peel his eyes away.

“Just remember...” You started, turning your head to look at him from over your shoulder.

“Meetings in the conference room are confidential.” And with a wink, you quickly turned the handle of the door and made your exit, needing to get away as quickly as possibly so that you could breathe once again. Bakugou still stood at the center of the room, confused and finally at a loss for words. He had no idea how any of that had just happened, or why he felt a heavy pang in his chest as he watched you leave the room seemingly unfazed. But there was one thing he knew for certain, one thing he was determined to do now more than ever; he was going to make you his.

[takaraphoenix]

Ship game!! What about Nico and Will?? It’s pretty popular, but I don’t think I’ve seen you write much of it…

That's an interesting one in that I have vocalized my reasons for disliking it way back when it first became popular but instead of just linking that, it has been years so I think it's time for an updated version.

Firstly: This post is gonna be properly tagged and not crosstagged so if any shipper comes across it and feels the need to bitch about it, just don't; your lack of curating your own tumblr experience is not my problem! ;D

Now, there are three key factors that play into my dislike of this ship: How it was written, what it represents, how the fandom around it acts.

1. It’s rushed and uncomfortable

In BoO, it was incredibly rushed. They had literally five sentences of interactions before they walked into the literal sunset together. Five. It was just entirely born from Riordan's Noah's Ark Complex, where he just can't let people be single. The series was ending and he needed Nico to have an endgame so he rushed into some random romance with zero build-up.

The way their interactions went down was also severely uncomfortable for me. Will was acting so offended by Nico not wanting to go to camp and be friends in an entitled way that he had no right to be, he downright guilt-tripped Nico about how he had wanted to be friends. Nico has been just so severely traumatized at such a young age and his coping mechanism, as unhealthy as it was, was to run away and hide. Will acted like Nico not wanting to form attachments to people who could potentially leave him again was somehow just an Edgy Emo Decision and not a direct reaction to his trauma. His entire approach to Nico was basically all these hippie posts of "Don't have depression!! Just go out into the sun and stop being depressed!", which is already a bad take with non-medical people but he's supposed to be a doctor (and let's not get into the shadiness of him technically being Nico's doctor).

There is also an inherent "I can fix him" angle to this ship and to me, only few ship dynamics are more uncomfortable than that. If you want to fundamentally change a person's behavior and personality, you... don't actually want to be with this person.

Now, here's where my points overlap, because the following parts of their writing that bothers me also stand for what this ship fundamentally represents.

2. Solangelo is a queer ship written by and for straights

I'm a queer woman and as a queer woman, I want queer wish-fulfillment, not what straights want out of queerness. I'm kind of tired of that, I've been sitting through it for enough decades now. That's, of course, not to say that no straight writer can give proper queer representation, but far too often do straight writers - even the most well-meaning ones - project straight desires of queerness into their queer representation.

Let me explain that closer through this ship.

Nico's been in love with Percy for years and I'm going to do my best to not hijack this post with some Percico agenda; that's not what this his about, this isn't some "my ship is better than your ship" ship-war nonsense. It's simply a canonical fact that Nico has had romantic feelings for another character for years.

A character who, in this medium, is heterosexual. And if you're queer, you've been there. In love with your straight best friend. It's a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason.

We have also all been well-meaningly rejected by said straight friend.

And here's the straight desires for you: The queer person who was in love with a straight person just immediately stops having those feelings and will then as quickly as possible fall in love with the next queer person they meet to be happy and no longer uncomfortably in love with a straight person, because that thought makes the straights uncomfortable.

Queer wish-fulfillment would be for Percy to return those feelings, for the queer character to get his first love, to not be rejected. That thing queer teens always dreamed about for themselves.

Aside from the wish-fulfillment angle, the pacing is another problem. Let me repeat, Nico was in love for years. But a five sentence conversation with Will once causes a crush on Will and we see him physically turn away from Percy and toward Will just immediately to rebound and actually fall out of love with Percy and in love with Will. Anyone who's ever been unlucky in love will attest to just how unrealistic and ridiculous the pacing here is.

It's also straight queerness in another respect; Nico has been the first ever queer character we meet in that world. He loves a straight guy - and to get over that, we introduce the second queer character. Because heaven forbid there are multiple queers to pick from. No, in straight-written queer romances, there is always that one main queer and then they introduce a second one and the two just immediately hit it off and develop a romance like all a queer person needs to form attraction to someone is the confirmation that the other person shares your sexuality.

Also the notable gay guy on gay guy ship here, whereas the more queer-wish-fulfillment option would have also included more nuance to the queer experience, because Percy doesn't have to be heterosexual just because he has only been with girls so far. It's a very old-fashioned - think 90s and early 2000s - kind of straight-written queerness that there are only exactly two homosexuals and that those two homosexuals then pair up.

And, listen, I'm not immune to these outdated straight-written queers entirely, I have many such ships that I grew up with that I am still fond of because they were groundbreaking at that time and they weren't outdated yet back when they happened in said 90s and early 2000s. I am however a grown woman now and just like I have grown, so has queer rep so I am not as easily baited into falling onto my knees in gratitude for canon rep. You have to go with the times. And this ship, by all that is given to us, is just entirely outdated straight-written rep.

Which, I mention earlier that even straight-written rep can be good. If the author tries. Riordan doesn't really try though; he does the bare minimum when he writes any of his rep - and there have been many, many more qualified voices being very vocal about his depiction of people of color and, as a woman, I've been vocal about his depiction of women. I don't want to derail this post with all of that, but I do think that it bears mentioning that Riordan doing rep but only doing a bare minimum and not putting in the necessary work to deepen the representation he wants to give is a repeating pattern that has been pointed out many times by now.

(I’d also like to point out that no, it is not just the ship and not just the listed instances that make it straight-written rep for straights. It’s Nico’s entire queer arc, starting with his forced coming out. A severely traumatizing event that is completely brushed over because the straight author doesn’t understand the impact this has on queer people. Not to mention the framework; Nico’s coming out isn’t Nico’s story, it happens in Jason’s POV, it is given to us through the POV of the straight bystander who gets to be Best Ally by assuring Nico that being gay is okay. This kind of coming out is not a queer wish-fulfillment, it’s a straight wish-fulfillment of getting to be the straight savior, the ally to show the gay the light of acceptance. And, additional to the ridiculous pacing of how fast Nico gets over his love for Percy, Nico also gets over years of internalized homophobia just because of, I don’t know, Jason’s few encouraging words and the fact that Will paid attention to him? For a gay kid who was in the closet all his life, the nonchalant way in which he publicly confessed his crush to Percy at the end made absolutely no sense and was written as basically a joke, finished off with Nico literally high-fiving Percy’s girlfriend despite those two never having seen eye to eye before but this is straight wish-fulfillment so all straights are Super Allies, because that’s the way straights want to see themselves, even though Annabeth has shown before just how jealous she can be and she most definitely wouldn’t go around high-fiving people who confess to her boyfriend. Nothing about Nico’s queer arc in HoO felt natural or queer or satisfying.)

Sure, Solangelo on a surface level is big because it's a canon queer couple in a YA book-series and kudos for that and yay for the kids who get to grow up seeing queers in YA books, but I actually do think that kids growing up with books written in the 2010s shouldn't grow up with 1990s levels of representation, because the 2010s overall are actually at a far more nuanced and better level of representation when it comes to queerness. And I do reserve the right to quit on too straight-written and too outdated queer rep in a landscape where I can get more satisfying representation elsewhere; we don’t live in times anymore where you necessarily have to love every bit of rep because it’s the only one you get.

Now that we've gone through my first two gripes, let's wrap this up with the final point, because it also directly ties into this.

3. The new wave of antis hiding behind this ship

A huge part of the fandom is so busy kissing Riordan's ass solely for giving them queer rep at all they think that both the author and the ship are beyond flawless and that kind of attitude is not good. Just because an author includes rep doesn't make either perfect. Absolutely no one is beyond critique - especially not when said critique comes from the very people the author is representing. And even beyond any "valid" critique on the ship, quite frankly, someone should also be allowed to just not like it, without any reasons given at all.

But there is a certain... protective obsessiveness about this ship that doesn't allow a not liking. Very similar to how PJO bore this mindset around Perc/abeth already. It's okay to have OTPs, even OTPs that you have a blindspot for and just don't want to see any flaws in. It is however not okay to then go around attacking people who don't like the thing and mind their own business.

Solangelo's bred a new generation of antis in this fandom. And, particularly with the fact that this post too receives an "anti" tag, I feel like there needs to be a clarification (because tumblr likes to forget what actually makes an anti). Not liking something doesn't make you an anti, venting in properly tagged posts doesn't either; it's the people who harass others, who seek out the content they dislike to then complain that it even exists and who actively try to make others stop creating for it - those are antis.

And with Solangelo's popularity, there was a high rise in Percico antis, who sought it out, were unnecessarily nasty about it, harrassed creators and tried to enforce some kind of "Solangelo supremacy" that won't allow other ships for the characters.

I've been in fandom long enough to be perfectly aware that not all Solangelo shippers count into this category and that there are completely normal and nice Solangelo shippers, but this is a Venn diagram where the overlap between Solangelo shippers and antis is too large to not widely associate the nasty people with the ship itself. (I've been there myself, shipping the very ship behind which a fandom's antis all hid. The second-hand embarrassment of having these people give the ship a bad name is horrendous and I do feel bad for all the normal Solangelo shippers.)

The more often I encountered these people, who made Percico bad (sometimes in wildly ridiculous manners that bent and deliberately misinterpreted canon) and who in the same breath praised Solangelo high, the more tired I grew of that ship. It's a simple game of association, really. You see that linked to the gross and nasty behavior and you start associating the ship itself with that gross and nasty behavior - and with all the things I said before that already weighed into my dislike of the ship, this just was the final tipping point, really.

And that's it. That sums up why I dislike Solangelo. It was hastily rushed, uncomfortable in its execution, it is outdated rep that very much feels as straight-written as it factually is and it does not feel aimed at me as a queer person but rather at the straight audience and it has gathered a cult following of quite uncomfortable people who on their own would be reason enough to avoid it so you can avoid them.

Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it