#he's kind of a goober but he wants to be a big cool adventurer and he loves you so much. he's like sixteen. please be nice to him.

[arlathen]

pushing the fat agenda in the dnd campaign i am tentatively planning by having all the fat characters be sweethearts and having the mean/evil characters be thin + as they descend into being more evil they get thinner. peace and love on the planet earth <3

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time wizard city liveblog

 well here we go

my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014

this takes place at the same time as obsidian?

DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE

DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE

yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk

@spaceacepearl​ joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN

This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene. 

“get offa my bus kid”

Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new! 

OH MY GOD--

HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME

HAHAHAHAH

THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER

i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs

my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”

cadorka..... wow

We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses

“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL

i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb

SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch... 

i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead

how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up 

i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out. 

im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...

Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date. 

“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness

ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings. 

PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road! 

candy people in their natural habitat

Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors. 

“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady

the mystery of how he gets clothes

and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?  

NANI

what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories. 

OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over 

peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER

love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him 

wow, blaine, wow

they have a crush

LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!

i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible. 

TRDGFYGHJH

WE

WE MADE  A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS

PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET

ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity 

who plagiarized finn’s signature???

turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!

i love this band

i understand your pain peps

you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)

I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian. 

that... that poor kid is still a rock

and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose

i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist. 

i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good. 

WH

WHAT

DID SPADER JUST DIE

IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM 

oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck. 

Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland. 

THESE ARE JUST HUMANS

OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS

my child

is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this

HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME

the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose

bufo killed one of his own students? but why????

“MY UNCLE’S A COP”

“no one likes a rat”

i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?

HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN

did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,? 

EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL

MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HAVE QUESTIONS

god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time

these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y. 

fdgfhgf because he’s like 500

“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”

sorry, cadebra, i have news for you

is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be, 

ANTS

oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :( 

HELP

the writing on the wall...

SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST

PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????

THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW

okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T

wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not

HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF

sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????

fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense

This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!

LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG

LEAF MAN

DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY

DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY

HE LIVES

MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL

okay, it’s over :) 

first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing. 

it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance. 

it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self. 

i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol. 

THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff! 

God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.

That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her. 

It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special! 

I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate. 

I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end. 

I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!!  I wish they drew more from that episode. 

Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him. 

The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule. 

I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER. 

We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!

I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!

Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T

i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger! 

[neverthrive]

Just gonna leave this old ass fanfic here

Adventuring is a rewarding occupation, providing an abundance of wealth, the respect of peers, and even a fulfilling sense of self worth. Even so, the constant action takes its toll, and every once in a great while an adventurer has to take a step back, breathe in deeply, and just get away from it all. Which is exactly what Jake had been planning for himself and his human brother.

It was a simple idea; take a break from their regular schedule of evil slaying, butt-kickery and all around, nonstop awesomeness. Find some remote location that holds nothing but tranquility in store for the duo to just chillax at for a few days. Just the two of them, a dog and his boy. It was perfect, but like any other well laid plan, there was a monkey wrench destined to find its way into the cogs of said perfection and jam Jake's precise synchronization up something awful. This particular monkey wrench goes by the name of Marceline.

"What are you dweebs up to?" Inquired a melodically cynical voice that belonged to none other than the ancient noirette in question. Marceline stared down ever curiously at the mixed species siblings and their growing mess as she liesurely drifted on the air over their heads. From what she could tell, her mortal friends appeared to be gathering heaps of useless garbage and stowing the junk in their already cramped luggage, for some reason or another.

Finn took a moment to acknowledge the vampire's presence, looking up from his loaded pack to face her. "I'm not actually sure, myself... Jake just told me to start packing my crud, and I guess that's what I'm doing, so does that answer your question?"

"Not in the least." she replied curtly before turning her now suspicious gaze in Jake's direction. The dog paid Marceline no mind as he continued to toss his various and mostly useless possessions into a sack. A rubber duck, a length of rope, a jar of peanuts, a pair of socks... Finally, he stored two empty glass bottles and closed the sack, still oblivious to the vampire's questioning stare. "Jake, what the plum is with all the hullabaloo?"

"Nope." Jake snapped, mildly irritated.

"'Nope'? Nope what?" She pressed him, ignoring the dog's tone.

"No. I'm not gonna tell you because you'll just want to come with us and muck it up. It's s'pose to be just me and mah bro, and you have no part in it. So no, Marceline, you can't come camping with us." Jake retorted in his best attempt at sounding authoritative, but in trying to iterate just how serious he was, the fact that he was suppose to be withholding information had slipped his mind a tad. He soon realized his mistake and growled in frustration. "Forget I said that last part!" But ironically, that last part about ignoring that previous last part was ignored by both teens.

"We're going camping?" Finn and Marceline asked in unison, excitement bubbling up in their throats.

"Yes, Finn, WE are. And no, Marceline, WE are not. Got it?" Jake answered pointedly. "It's camping time with Finn and Jake. I didn't hear Marceline anywhere in there, so step off sister!"

"Well fine! Maybe I didn't want to go on your stupid trip anyway!" Marceline pouted sorely and turned to leave, but Finn, being the model peacekeeper he is, blocked his friend's exit. "Get out of the way, Finn. I'm obviously not wanted here anymore." The vampire queen tried to push the boy aside, but no matter how hard she shoved, the squishy blob of flesh and heroism persisted to keep her from leaving.

"Come on, Jake's just being a butt. You don't have to leave on account o' him bein' a Mr. grumpy pants." Finn gently wrapped a hand around Marceline's forearm and began to lead her back over to his brother so as amends could be made.

"He doesn't even wear pants, dude." she huffed out in retortion as she let herself be pulled back towards the junk heaps that the magical dog was still busying himself with sorting through and packing into napsacks and suitcases and the like.

"Jake..." Finn verbally nudged his brother to outstretch the olive branch to Marceline, but an apology seemed hesitant in forthcoming. "Come on, man. You know you done bad in yourself bro, and I know you know how to make it right again." Finn's prompt appeared to have worked this time, eliciting a defeated sigh from Jake.

Dropping his bags of assorted and worthless loot, Jake turned to face Marceline who now had her arms crossed over her chest and was avoiding eye contact with him. "Look, I'm sorry, alright?" Marceline untensed a bit at that. "It's not you, It's just that I really wanted to have some bro time with Finn, y'know? To recapture those times we used to share when we was wee pups." Jake inhaled deeply, breathing in the musty scent lingering about from the, until recently, long forgotten contents of that once overstuffed closet in the corner. He had a feeling in his gut that he'd regret this decision later, and his gut was almost never wrong, but he couldn't ignore his guilt and empathy for Marceline. She just wanted to hang with her friends. "So... You want to come with us, then?"

The vampire's sour mood dissipated immediately, her pout rapidly shifting to a grin stretched from pointed ear to pointed ear. "Heck yes I wanna go camping with you guys! So when are we leaving?" Marceline asked almost giddily.

"Well I guess since you're coming with us, we probably shouldn't be heading out 'til just before sundown." Jake answered thoughtfully. Having so much time before they were to depart allowed Jake some spare moments to cool it with all the preparations and freed up his thinkin' schedule a bit. Suddenly, a thought pervaded his mind that the dog rather took a shining to. "If we're bringing guests along now, Lady Rainicorn's coming too!" and with that, Jake took off to go inform his girlfriend of how he'd decided she would be spending the next few days. The matter was entirely non negotiable.

Finn and Marceline stood idly by as Jake hastily absconded out through a nearby window. The young hero turned to his immortal friend "You know, he actually does wear pants..."

"Really?"

"Yup."

A quarter hour before dusk would settle in, the four campers had reached the landing Jake scouted out beforehand. It was a small pocket within the forest, not too far from a river, vacant enough to comfortably fit everyone but with a dense enough canopy to shade any vampire from daylight at high noon. Having acquired a suitable base of operations, the only thing left standing in between Jake and his cherished relaxation was setting up camp. The duties were divied up between two groups.

"So Lady and I are gonna pitch our tent, by ours I mean hers and mine. I don't know what either of you are doing so... Sleep under the stars or whatever. But also, we need a campfire, so you guys should maybe gather some sticks and twigs and stuff, and it'll be math. 'Kay." Jake then spoke something in a language neither Finn nor Marceline could comprehend to Lady, who laughed in response, and the two magical creatures diligently began piecing together the frame of their shared tent. The rainicorn giggled lightly every time Jake slipped a tent pole into the corresponding connector she held.

Marceline narrowed her eyes at the spectacle and made a face. "Gross..." She thought it best to linger around the couple and their disgusting adorableness as little as inhumanly possible and began to head towards the surrounding thickets. Finn soon followed suit, tailing behind his friend into the thick of the forest to gather materials for their fire.

"So like, sticks, huh?" The human remarked as he bent over to scoop a discarded twig from the earth.

Marceline turned to see Finn's pitiful offering. Their fire would need a lot more fuel than some measly green branches. "No man, we need bigger stuff than that." she explained. "And preferably a little more dead." she added.

"Bigger?" Finn thought it over for a moment. "Alright, bigger." Turning to face a tree, the stout teenager grappled the trunk and with all his might attempted to pry the poor unsuspecting eudicot from the soil. "I need your wood, tree! Give it up, yo!" Finn continued his struggle while Marceline cackled at his random act of foolishness.

Seeing no sign of Finn relenting any time soon, his undead friend intervened. "Finn, we don't need a whole tree. And you most def don't gotta yank one out'a the ground. C'mere, ya goober." she beckoned while barely supressing her laughter. Finn looked from Marceline then back to the tree in his grasp, releasing the bark from his grip and gaining nothing from his efforts but sore arms.

"Look," she pointed to a fallen branch that looked as if it'd been laying on the forest floor for a few seasons now. "This is the kind of stuff we're gonna need. Big enough to burn, and not impossible to pick up, got it? Now get it." Finn did as instructed, bending to take the dry, rough chunk of high octane campfire fuel in his arms. "Alright, now just find a lot more like it and we're good to light 'em up."

"How many more?" Finn asked wearily.

"I don't know. Lots, I suppose. Have to keep it going for a while." she replied, venturing deeper into the woods to search for any more decent firewood she might per chance stumble upon. Figuratively, that is, it's hard to sumble when your feet don't touch the ground.

"Bleh..." Despite his contempt for such menial labor, Finn once again followed the vampire to gather what they needed. It was an easy enough job, but way too dang boring for a man of action. Finn needed excitement, and lugging sticks around wasn't providing.

When they'd finished gathering the firewood and the time came to actually light the fire, Finn demanded he be the one to do the deed. And so there they sat across from one another, a neatly arranged pile of dead wood between them. Finn furiously stroked the sticks together in a fruitless attempt to catalyze a spark.

"This usually works! These things must be broken, or something..." Finn pouted and heaved the useless wooden shafts into the nearby shrubbery in frustration.

"Here," Marceline moved herself closer to the bundle and spawned a small flame in the palms of her hands. Touching the flame to the tinder, the pile of miniature lumber and bark ignited almost instantly. Finn stared down at the blazing fire, then glanced up to Marcleline, a smug, toothy smirk plastered across her face.

"You cheated!" he yelped, pointing accusingly at the girl who succeeded so easilly where he so miserably failed.

"Finn, don't be jelly of my totally sweet vampire powers." Marceline replied, her expression never faltering.

"I'm not jelly! Maybe jam, but not jelly. Just admit you cheated! Vampire powers is cheating fo' sure." he insisted.

"Nope." The vampire playfully let her forked tongue slide out from between her fangs, mocking the disgruntled human.

"Whatever..."

"Hey, you guys made the fire! Rad!" Jake exclaimed as he padded his way over to the two from his now fully assembled tent.

"Yeah, we totally did it! 100% group effort here." Marceline chimed almost sarcastically. "So who wants to roast marshmallows?"

"... Then the puppy looked under his bed, and saw two glowing green eyes! The pup was so scared, it almost wee wee'd!" Finn stood over his three friends, the crackling fire below lighting his features in distorted illumination. He raised both hands above his head, digits stretched and curled as claws in the most menacing display the boy could muster. "The nebelung under the bed reached out to the scared little puppy and..." Finn paused, turning to Jake who'd heard the story right along with Finn in their youth and knew what came next. "TICKLED THE PUPPY!" Finn pounced on his brother and poked his wriggling fingers into the dog's soft flanks. Jake snorted and snickered at the human's tickle attack as the two women watched on. Lady found the sight to be quite amusing, adorable even. Marceline just sucked the red from a can of kidney beans in stark indifference.

"If you two are done with your brotherly gropefest yet, maybe I could tell a real ghost story?" Marceline cut their fun short and assumed her position over the campfire as current story teller as the brothers returned to their seats. "This isn't the first time I've been in these parts of the woods. I came through here some years back, how long ago exactly is a little fuzzy. But I wasn't alone. No, I had friends with me, just like I do now, and just like now, there was a dog among my group.

"We were just hiking through, you see, we had no intentions of staying. No, that would be foolish! We knew better, we'd heard the stories of what happens around here after dark. Weird stuff... Spooky happenings, y'know? But the dog, he got lost-"

"Oh no! Not the dog! The dog always dies first!" Jake interrupted with his sudden fearful outburst.

"Well anyway..." Marceline shot him a scornful look, and continued. "The dog must have started straggling, because when we stopped to rest, he was nowhere to be found. Of course we looked for him, we stayed together as a group, we weren't about to split up so we'd all be lost in 'The Forsaken Forest'. But no matter where we searched, there was no sign of the poor lost doggy. It wasn't 'til well after dark when we found him. He was huddled in a bush maybe twenty or so yards from where he was last seen, shaking uncontrollably with his face in his hands.

"He wouldn't show us his face. He just kept on mumbling some nonsense about 'whispering trees' and 'eyeball rockets'. When we finally pried the dog's hands from his face, he had no eyes! Just two gaping sockets where his looking globes used to be! Once we got him to calm down, he told us the whispering trees of the forsaken forest used some hoodoo to turn his eyeballs into jet packs and they flew right off of his face. Wait..." Marceline stiffened and tilted her head to one side as if intently listening to some faint noise off in the distance. "Did you guys hear that?"

"Hear what?" Jake squeaked, cowering into his girfriend's embrace. Cuddling with Lady Rainicorn made him feel secure, but it wasn't enough to make him totally forget he was in the alleged 'Foresaken Forest'.

"It sounds like..." she leaned in toward Jake, and with a completely straight face, with a hint of what might pass for something distraught in her tone, answered "Whispering."

That's all Jake needed to hear. He gave his friends a surprise performance of his scream song and tore off to his tent as fast as his four legs would carry him, separating himself from the 'evil' trees outside with a thin layer of nylon. No way in the flippin' Night-o-Sphere was he letting some piney mischief makers steal his precious eyes. Lady chuckled and followed after him, knowing Jake wouldn't be able to sleep alone tonight after that fright.

Finn and Marceline shared a laugh at Jake's expense. When their howling merriment subsided, they realized they were alone once more. Finn fed a few more branches from their dwindling supply into the blaze, stoking the flames.

"So, have you really been out in these woods before?" The boy asked, now feeling uneasy not knowing if the vampire's story was true or not. Finn'd witnessed stranger things, so believing tall tales came easily to him.

"Yeah, I have. But not how you're thinking I did, that story was bogus." Finn was relieved. "Naw, my old man took me camping somewhere around here when I was younger, before that whole 'fry incident' happened. It's one of the more pleasant memories I have from my upbringing." Marceline sighed and watched the flames consume their fresh meal through hazy, half lidded eyes. The age-old young woman contently recalled the time she and her father shared out in this forest so many years ago.

"Is that why you like camping?" Finn pulled her out of her train of thought. "Becuase your dad brought you?"

"Yeah, probably." she admitted. "It's just nice to chill out in the wild, with some friends or family or whatever. It's kind of peaceful. So how 'bout you, Finn? Have you ever been camping?"

"Well, once pop took me, Jake and Jermaine out for a weekend of fishing. Y'know, a father and his boys." Finn still missed his parents, they were such kind old folk. No one else would look twice at the human freak, but they raised him as their own. "But it was actually just the back yard, there was a pond there too, and we were told we couldn't go inside the house 'til the weekend was over. Dad made us some sort of little shelter out of some dead trees and ferns and all we ate was the fish we caught, but Dad made sure to stock the pond with lots of fish beforehand, so we had plenty. It was a pretty good time, even if it wasn't the wilderness like this."

"It's not where you're at, Finn, all that matters is who you're with." Marceline asserted, and felt a certain truth to her words resonate. In her experience, this was an immutable fact, in good company, fond memories could be made anywhere. Finn always seemed like good company, and he'd given the vampire an abundance of fresh memories she hoped would not fade any time soon.

"Yeah," Finn nodded gingerly. "that's deep." The human stretched his arms wide and yawned in deeply. It was getting late, and an adolecsent boy needs his sleep. "I'm gonna hit the sack."

Finn took a few paces away from the campfire and found one of the various packs he'd brought with him on this excursion at the base of a large tree. Opening the zipper, he reached inside and withdrew a very large, very new looking gortex sleeping bag and unrolled the bundle of fluff and warmth, laying it across the ground. The tuckered hero wasted no time before hopping into the over sized, silky feeling cocoon, but before he could drift of to the land of Sweet dreams, he was disturbed by a familiar voice.

"Where am I supposed to sleep?" demanded the very abandoned feeling vampire queen.

"You're nocturnal." Finn retorted bluntly before rolling over to face away from the dying fire.

"But I've been up all day!" she protested. "My sleep schedule is wack, and it's pretty much entirely your fault."

"Hey, it's your own choice to pester us during the day. You made your bed, now you gotta sleep in it. Hehe." Finn laughed at the irony of that figure of speech used in this particular instance and noted that he's not exactly one to be clever with irony, and it was mostly just coincidence, but an awesome coincidence at that. "Can't you just like, sleep hangin' from a tree or somethin'? Bats do that all the time."

"No! For one, that's actually an insulting generalization, and two, I don't think I can maintain myself in bat form while I'm sleeping." Marceline explained. It sounded logical enough of a reason to rule out sleeping in trees, and there was no way she was about to sleep atop the cold dirt. "Scootch over, I'm getting in with you." she ordered.

"No way! Why didn't you bring your own sleeping junk?" Finn countered.

"Because I didn't think of it and vampires were never bestowed with the gift of foresight, now make room!"

"You can't!" Finn barked.

"Why can't I?" she challenged.

"Because... You're a girl..." Finn's face brightened with reddish hugh.

"Are you saying you'd rather sleep with a boy?" Marceline asked slyly, raising an eyebrow in playful inquiry.

"Well no... But..." Finn sputtered, "This isn't fair!"

"Life ain't fair, get used to it," the dead girl shot back while making her way to Finn and his comfy looking sleeping bag that he was being oh so greedy trying to keep all to himself. Finn hesitated, but after seeing Marceline was dead set on gettin' all up in his bag, he reluctantly relented his opposition and allowed her entry, slipping in beside him.

Marceline noticed how spacious it was inside, still comfortable enough even with the both of them fully encased up to their necks in the puffy fabric, and she almost couldn't help but to be suspicious that Finn's end game was to share this sleeping bag with someone all along. Silly human, he'd only have to ask, no need for reverse psychology and mind games. But then she realized this was Finn she was thinking about and how his intentions never run any deeper than face value. Marceline couldn't see Finn, the genuine goober he is, devise some elaborate plan entailing sleeping bags and psychological warfare all to result in getting her to sleep with him, speaking only in the most literal sense of the term.

Then Marceline realized something else. She was dreadfully uncomfortably laying in this position. "Finn. I need a pillow." she informed.

Disturbed once more from the verge of slumber, Finn exhaled audibly and cracked his sore and crusty eyes. Scanning about the surrounding darkness for something that might sate the relentless vampire's pestering, Finn peered a fairly large, stout stone not far from where they lay. Removing his arms from the confines of the sleeping bag he was now being forced to share, he grabbed hold of the rock and placed it by Marceline's head with a dull thud. "Use that." he instructed coarsely before returning to his previous position and trying once more to sleep.

Marceline stared at the rock in awe for a long moment before deciding it was a horrible candidate for a pillow. No, she'd need something softer, with some give. Something... Squishy. And per chance, it just so happened that there was something exceedingly squishy laying right beside her. So with no further thought or reasoning, Marceline curled herself around Finn and layed her head on the softest point she could find between his shoulder and chest.

"What the flip are you doing?" The hero questioned when feeling his friend's arms snake around his body.

"Shut up." she hissed, momentarily lifting her head from his chest to make eye contact. "You're lumpin' comfortable, so deal with it. Now lay there and be quiet like a good pillow." And with that, she nuzzled back into the fleshy swells of Finn's torso.

As awkward as this situation was, Finn couldn't deny that it was maybe even a little pleasant. But also mostly uncomfortable, for him at least. So to right this, Finn hauled his arm out from beneath the cuddly vampire and repositioned it around Marceline, so now they were in some ungraceful, and clearly completely platonic embrace. Nope, nothing going on here, just a couple o' bros in a sleeping bag is all. Snuggling? Naw, none of that going on here, bro.

Feeling Finn's arm wrap around her back and rest somewhere near her waist, reciprocating her cuddle, Marceline grinned into the adolescent adventurer's chest. "I know you're enjoying this, probably more than you're letting yourself believe, but don't expect it to happen often." She took a moment to glance back up to meet Finn's embarrassed gaze. "You just so happened to have been the most comfortable place for me to spend the night." Reaching up to play with the ears of Finn's hat, she added "Y'know, you're no Hambo, but you're quite the snuggly little bear."

Finn's face flushed skarlet, or maybe it never stopped being that color, he couldn't tell. But either way, he definitely felt significantly warmer around the collar after that remark. He wasn't too sure he liked being Marceline's 'snuggly bear', he imagined it might be something reminiscent of what Lady Rainicorn would call Jake, if she spoke english. And Finn for sure didn't think he was ready to have with Marceline what Jake had with Lady. But here they were, closer to any other girl than he'd ever been, unburnt by her touch and unscalded by any callous words that carelessly fell from her mouth.

Finn gave some thought to this and realized it wouldn't be so bad to be more than simply friends with Marceline. She was probably the greatest gal he knew, and almost certainly the least complicated, even if that's not saying all too much. But he could easily envision their relationship taking a turn for the romantic. By the time he'd worked up the courage to profess that thought to her, a rather obnoxious snore seized his attention. Finn snapped his eyes down in his bed buddy's direction to find she'd already fallen fast asleep. So, the adventurer, pushing all silly thoughts of relationships aside, closed his eyes for what seemed like the umpteenth time that evening and was finally allowed rest.

It wasn't the muted sunlight shining through the leaves overhead, ticking at his eyelids, that woke Finn that morning, nor was it the stirring of the girl still in his arms. It was the earpiercing shriek of utter shock and surprise let loose from his older brother's agape maw. Finn's eyes shot open, sitting up quickly and turning his attention from Jake to Marceline, taking in the situation and how it might look to anyone outside of the sleeping bag.

"This probably isn't what it looks like!" Finn piped up defensively almost without thinking. His brain kicked in and told him that whenever someone says those particular words, it's almost always exactly what it looks like.

"Oh my grawd, dude! You guys didn't... Did you?" Jake gasped, flabbergasted. "Just tell me you kept it PG13, please."

"Dude, what the hey! We're both fully clothed, okay!" Finn stepped out of his sleeping bag to prove he was, in fact, not in the nude. "She just forgot to bring any camping gear, so I shared. Alright?"

"Yeah, alright... I guess I might have been overreacting a bit..." Jake mumbled ashamedly, averting his gaze from his two friends he just so blatently accused of indecency.

"A bit?" Finn chuckled. "It's a'ight man, let's just forget about it." Finn's stomach let out a low growl. "So what's for breakfast, homie?"

Jake felt a mite cheerier now that they'd moved on past that terrible misunderstanding. What an awful, horrible revelation to wake up to first thing in the morning. "Canned food, yo. It's all we got since we pollished off the marshmallows last night."

"Sounds good, man." Finn responded with a nod. He looked back to his vampire friend who was still wrapped in his sleeping bag. She was in a sitting position, watching the two brothers, holding the poofy top of the bag up to under her chin with strangely bare arms. "C'mon Marcie, stop being a lazy butt. It's time to get up." The human coaxed.

"Remember that thing you said about how we're both fully clothed?" she asked with a bashful smile. "If we've learned anything this morning, it's that you guys are great at jumping to conclusions." She motioned with her eyes, directing Finn and Jake's attention toward a pile of her discarded flannel shirt and ripped jeans.

"What the flip, Marceline!" Finn cried out, bordering on the hysterical.

"What, I got hot! Besides, it's not like I'm completely naked. Glob Finn, don't be such a perv!" Marceline huffed indignantly, floated up from the ground sleeping bag and all, snatched the shirt and pair of jeans from where they lay and was gone into the dense forest, presumably to get dressed.

"What in the flip just happened, Jake?" Finn asked flatly as he continued to stare dumbfoundedly out into the woods where he last saw the lunatic who wore his sleeping bag like a toga.

"Sounds like you're having girl troubles, bro." Jake answered, gingerly giving the confused human an empathetic pat on the back.

[spencers-dria]

Do You Trust Me?

Someone To Stay Ch. 6

Spencer x fem reader

Y/N POV:

*whack*

You smack your alarm as it goes off for the third time this morning. You look at the clock: 7:15AM. Was it later than you get to sleep in for work? Sure. Did you want to get up this early on your day off? Nope. Between JJ being the planner and Penelope's excitement for the weekend, they had convinced the the group that it would be best to get an early start. It was a several hour drive the to the lake, and they wanted to make the most of our time there.

You roll out of bed and look in the mirror. Sweats and a spaghetti strap tank...this will have to do. You leave your hair in the messy bun that you slept in. Half asleep, you fumble around for some socks and slip on some sandals. A horrific choice you know, but we're going for comfort here, not fashion. It'll be fine. You're not trying to impress anyone, and you'll fix yourself up once you get to the lake. You fully intend to nap part of the way there. You don't even bother to grab breakfast. Instead, you grab your bags you packed the night before and head downstairs. Spencer is probably waiting on you already.

You see him pulling the car up, right on time, as you make your way down the stairs. You slide into the passenger side, setting your bag down in the back seat. Reaching into a road trip bag in your lap, you pull out a blanket and pillow and curl up in your seat.

"Good morning sleepyhead" he chuckles. "Not a morning person, huh?"

You grin. "What gave it away?"

He hands you a paper bag and a coffee cup.

"Don't worry, it's green tea and honey" he reassures you, sensing your hesitation.

"I also got you a bagel."

"I don't know who's been giving you trade secrets but food is really the number one way to win me over." You glance over to see a slight smirk on his face. "How are you so awake? You had time to get ready, grab food, drive to my apartment, and you still seem more awake than I do."

"I'm kind of used to not getting much sleep." He shrugs this off as if it's nothing. You sense he doesn't intend on explaining any further, so you decide not to push him.

"I brought some snacks too. You're welcome to anything you'd like." You pull out a some goldfish, fruit gummies, and Capri suns.

He responds with a laugh.

"Ok you have the appetite of a ten year old."

You feel embarrassed for a moment until you see the smile he's giving you.

"It's cute though."

You find yourself blushing, not used to compliments. "Yeah I guess sometimes I just like to let loose, let my inner child out. Not everything has to be so serious all the time, ya know? What we do, both of us...it's stressful stuff. Sometimes eating whatever the heck I feel like helps with that. If that means chocolate milk and cocoa crispies cereal for dinner then so be it!"

Spencer gives you another smile before holding his hand out. "Alright, you won me over. I'll take a Capri sun."

You can't help but laugh as you watch him try to insert the straw with one hand and drive with the other. After awhile you decide to help him out.

"Here, let me see that." You fix the straw and hand him back the drink. "Goober" you laugh as you rolls your eyes at him.

"So what all are you planning on doing at the lake this weekend?" He asks.

"The question is...what am I NOT going to do?"

"Ugh." He rolls his eyes and laughs. "No fair. You're athletic, coordinated. You can actually do all the fun stuff."

You turn to face him with an incredulous look on your face, jaw dropped. "You're kidding me right? Me? Athletic? That's funny!" You laugh shaking your head. "Nahh I'd say we're on a level playing field. I'm not coordinated at all! I just like go have fun, try adventurous things. Like kayaking, I'm just mediocre but I still love doing it. The only sport I ever did was swimming."

"Ha! You were a swimmer, we're going to a lake, and you think we're on a level playing field?"

"Ok fair enough" you concede. "Will you at least try something new this weekend? Please?" You bat your big brown eyes at him, a technique that rarely failed you.

He feigns a look of annoyance, before a smile finally starts teasing at the corner of his lips. "Alright, alright." He throws his hands up in surrender. "But only if you help me with whatever it is we do. A swimmer and a nurse, you're practically our lifeguard for the weekend. Don't let me drown, ok?" He teases.

"Well since you asked so nicely." You give him a playful punch in the arm as you both laugh.

After a brief moment of silence you hear Spencer speak up. "Did you know that Michael Phelps is the most decorated Olympian of all time, winning 28 medals in total, 23 of those being gold medals? He swam in his first Olympic Games at only 15 years old, and won his first gold medal at 19. And you...already knew this didn't you?" He stops when he sees your eyebrows raised, giving him a slight smirk.

"Yeah Spencer" you smile, shaking your head at him. "I don't mind though. I like hearing all the cool stuff you know."

You spend awhile listening to Spencer talk about everything from Olympic swimming facts to CPR statistics and the origin of the different swimming strokes. A lot of it you don't know already, and you enjoy learning all of this stuff from him. After awhile, you unintentionally drift off to sleep.

He looks over and smiles, he doesn't mind. This happens to him quite often, and the fact that you encouraged him to share his knowledge gives him comfort. He reaches over and pulls the blanket over your shoulders. Hoping to drown out the sound of the highway, he puts on some classical music at a low volume.

You wake up a couple hours later as you hear the loud sound of gravel under the tires.

"Morning sunshine" he grins at you.

"Oh I'm sorry! I wasn't going to make you drive the whole way."

"It's ok, you got your rest. Better you be rested up and have fun today than stay awake just to drive."

"Thanks Spencer." You smile to yourself. He really was very sweet. Good friends are hard to come by, especially ones you can trust that will stick around. You secretly hope that Spencer doesn't plan on dropping you as a friend anytime soon.

You climb out of the car and take a look around. You've arrived at a modest log cabin, sitting right on the edge of the lake. It's surrounded by y'all trees, so thick that you can't see any buildings anywhere else, if there are any. You stand there for a moment taking it all. You lean your head back and close your eyes, enjoying the sounds and smells of nature. It felt like home. You grab your bag out of the backseat and make your way along a dirt path toward the cabin. You stick yourself hand out by your side, brushing the leaves on the trees as you walk by.

"You really are in your element here, huh?" you hear Spencer call out from behind you.

"Oh you have no idea. Just wait till I get in the water" you shout back over your shoulder.

The two of you make your way into what appears to be the common living room. The cabin appears to be completely wooden everywhere, floors, ceilings, walls, beams. There's rustic decor and lots of plaid, but it's done tastefully. It feels so cozy, and you love it.

"Y/N! You made it! We're in here!" You see Penelope's head pop out of a doorway. You enter a room to find two sets of bunk beds. Penelope and Alex have taken bottom bunks. JJ has her stuff placed on the top bunk above Alex. You set your suitcase in an empty corner and throw your pillow on the bed above Penelope. You feel her sneak up and pull you into a tight hug. "Hey bunk buddy! This weekend is going to be so fun!"

"I'm surprised Penny, the outdoors don't seem like your type of weekend."

"Oh don't worry honey! I brought a float with coasters and a tray for the lake! I'll be sipping on wine and tanning all weekend."

"Just make sure to wear sunscreen okay." You give her a nudge and a smile.

"Okay Nurse Y/L/N." She rolls her eyes and laughs.

"Don't worry! I brought enough sunscreen for everyone."

"Haha, of course you did Aunt JJ."

You look over to see her unpacking her suitcase and organizing her things in the drawers and closets. You decide to do the same, that way it will be easier to find all your things later. After you've all finished unpacking, Alex says she's going to take a quick nap. After getting ready in your swim wear and coverups, you, Penelope, and JJ wander over to the guys room to see what they're up to.

You peek in to see Spencer reading on the bunk above Hotch, who appears to be on a FaceTime call with his son, Jack. Rossi isn't in the room. He's probably already started organizing things in the kitchen. Derek looks like he's ready for the lake, already in swim trunks and rubbing on sun tan lotion.

"You need any help with that, hot rod?" Penelope jests.

"You know it mama."

At this response, Penelope runs quickly across to room and helps Derek to finish rubbing in the suntan lotion on his back. She looks to be enjoying it a little too much.

You and JJ stay leaning in the doorway, laughing.

You finally speak up. "I don't know about y'all, but I've been stuck in a car all day! So if you need me, I'll be out at the lake!"

"I'm right behind, ya." JJ turns to follow you.

At this, Spencer finally pops up from behind his book. "Oh umm, we're going outside now? What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet Spencer, come with us and we'll figure it out."

You wait on him while he changes into some swim trunks and a t shirt. He stands in the doorway a bit awkwardly, hesitant to leave the cabin.

"Come on!" You grab his hand pulling him out onto the porch and down toward the lake, following behind JJ, Penelope, and Derek.

When you get to the waters edge, you see the group has already spotted a rope swing. Derek appears to be climbing into a position to jump from. JJ stops him, to test the integrity of the rope first.

Penelope watches as Derek effortlessly climbs up the rocks. "My monkey man" she smirks.

Once JJ seems satisfied that the rope won't break, Derek swings out over the water, doing a back flip before making a splash in the water that sprays everyone watching from the shore. A chorus of groans rings out, half from annoyance at the show off, half from not wanting to get splashed.

You remove your shoes and your coverup as you prepare to get in the water. You can tell Spencer is making a conscious effort to avert his gaze. You blush, suddenly remembering the girls' previous comments about how good you looked in the slick back two piece.

You quickly make your way up the rocks and grab onto the rope as it swings back towards you. Spencer gives you a concerned look.

"Are you sure you want to do that? You could get hurt!" He shouts up at you.

Instead of answering you give him a quick smirk. You back up and get a running start for momentum, holding onto the rope as you swing out over the water. You let the momentum push you out as far as it will take you, as you angle your arms and body to dive deep into the water, just like you used to off the starting block in swimming. As you feel your body dive down into the water, you angle back up and do a quick, few dolphin kicks, propelling yourself much further from the shore. When you finally surface, you're about 20 or so meters from the shore. You see the group staring at where you dove into the water, confused and concerned.

"Over here guys!" You shout at the group to get their attention. They look up to see you much further away than they expected.

"Hey, you weren't kidding!" Spencer laughed.

"We might have to have ourselves a little competition little miss mermaid!" You laugh at Derek's new nickname for you.

You do a few strokes to bring you back to shore as you climb out of the water. You slick your hair back out of your eyes as you wring your hair out.

"Alright Spencer! Your turn!"

You giggle as you grab his hand and drag him towards the rocks.

"Umm yeah this is definitely not a good idea. You clearly know what you're doing, but I will definitely hurt myself. Did you know that drownings are the third leading cause of unintentional deaths?"

"Stop being such a party pooper! Loosen up a bit. Now climb." You cross your arms giving him a look that lets him know you mean business.

"If you fall, your knight in shining armor, Y/N will catch you!" Derek shouts from his spot where he's swimming in the lake. JJ and Penelope are watching from a float shaped like a giant unicorn. Typical Penny.

"Shut up, Derek!" Spencer shouts back at him.

You can tell that he's actually nervous, and not just unwilling to participate, so you decide to climb up after him.

"How about we go together?" You smile at him.

"Can we do that?" He asks, clearly not believing you.

"Yeah! See how there's a plank of wood on the bottom here? There's room for both of us to stand. And then we just hold onto the rope. We'll back up to get some momentum, then right when we get to the edge, we'll hop on the rope ok. But make sure to let go before it swings back towards the rocks."

The look he's giving you says he still doesn't think this will work.

You take his hand in yours, giving it a quick squeeze. "Do you trust me?"

You see the anxiety wash away as he's overcome by comfort. "Yeah, I do actually" he smiles, squeezing your hand back.

"On three okay? One...two...three!"

Before you know it, the two of you are landing in the water. You both come up for air as he starts a splash fight with you. You're both giggling and splashing like little kids, but having the time of your life. You feel water peg you in the back of the head. You turn around to see Hotch and Rossi armed with oversized water guns, peeking out from behind the trees on the shore.

"Hey that's not fair! We're unarmed!" You shout at the two men.

"Come join our team!" Rossi yells back. You and Spencer look at each other confused. You look up to see Alex carrying four water guns out to the water toward Derek, JJ, and Penny.

You and Spencer turn to each other, each with a huge grin. "Oh it's on!" You say.

"It's so on!" he replies before you both make your way onto shore as quickly as possible. Hotch and Rossi hand you each a weapon and the war commences.

After a long fight, the team in the lake finally surrenders. Your team is the clear winner.

"Winner's get dinner first!" Rossi shouts before the four of you make a mad dash for the cabin. You grab your towel, guessing that Alex had laid it out for you, as you see the other ladies' towels laid out as well well. Rossi had the dinner on warmers, so it's all ready for you. As the four of you take your plates full of food to the dining table outside, you pass your opponents. A series of snickers and goofy faces ensues as your team teases them endlessly.

You felt so comfortable around all of them. For people with such serious jobs, they sure do know how to let loose and have fun.

A/N:

I hope everyone is still enjoying it! I know it's a slow burn but it's so cute right 🥰I plan on picking up right where we left off! Please reblog or comment if you liked this chapter! I love hearing feedback!

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: The Promised Neverland S2, Episodes 1-3

And so we begin! In which the world opens up before us, Emma pushes herself to the breaking point, and I’m honestly really excited to see where things go from here. I thought this season was supposed to be bad, what gives?

Whole New World

The Promised Neverland’s first season was a rarity in anime, the rare horror show that was actually really fucking good at being horror. The cramped quarters of the Grace Field farm, with Mother Isabella and Sister Krone lurking around every corner, made for one of the most nail-biting games of cat and mouse I’ve seen in a long time. It felt like danger could show up around every corner, behind every tree, and there’d be nowhere to run once you were caught. But of course, the season ends with Emma, Ray, and all the oldest members of their family escaping that claustrophobic prison and into the great wide world beyond. Without that enclosed setting, The Promised Neverland can no longer work as a horror anime, at least not in the way it used to. The immense change in setting requires an equally immense change in genre. And so far, season 2 is delivering on that potential and then some. Sure, it’s still got moments dripping with dread: the near-carnivorous darkness of the forest at night, the cramped quarters of the heretic demons’ hideout, that one beautiful shot where an approaching monster is signaled by a cloud of panicked fireflies fleeing from it and illuminating the night in fear. And Cloverworks still knows how to implement CG backgrounds and rack focuses for some incredible depth of field effects. But while the tension and suspense are still pretty high, this is no longer a horror anime. This is a fantasy adventure anime, one that promises to be as sprawling and epic as the oversized world our heroes have found themselves in.

And honestly, I really like the change. One of my biggest issues with the first season was that as good as the horror was, it didn’t always feet at home with the story and characters being so, well, shonen. It can be hard to scare someone when you’ve got goobers like Emma and Ray cracking big jokes and constantly narrating their plans to each other, diffusing the air of mystery around what’s gonna happen next. But that kind of outwardly bombastic approach to storytelling works much better in a world as vast as this one. The towering trees, sprawling plains, and beautiful fey lights almost feel like something out of Ghibli, never mind the Spirited Away monster who cold-opens the season by chasing our kids down (”Just think of it like a game of tag!” ahahahaha that brings back memories). There’s all these cool environmental details, like sea anemones that somehow live in the forest (I bet there’s one hell of a story there) and beautiful floating jellyfish that glow purple. In fact, the lighting effects overall are fantastic, giving the world a sense of overwhelming wonder and dread in equal measure. The glowing green fireflies that fill the forest almost feel like will-o-wisps beckoning the kids to the world of faeries. And that’s before you get to the demons themselves, who are, just, such cool antagonists from a design sense. I have no idea what purpose their face masks serve, or what separates the more humanoid demons from the more beastlike demons (it seems like even the humanoid demons can run on all fours like hunting dogs when they pursue their prey), but they’re equal parts awesome and intimidating and I am here for it.

Pushed to the Limit

Still, just because the world’s more beautiful doesn’t mean it’s lacking for danger. The Grace Field kids have enemies all around, and they’re gonna have to fight like hell to stay alive and rescue all their remaining friends. But the stress of taking all that on might end up being the most dangerous thing of all. Ray’s come around so hard to wanting to protect his family that he risks his life serving as bait for all of them and almost gets torn to shreds for it before Sonju saves him at the last minute. And even that’s nothing compared to what Emma’s going through. She’s still clearly grieving heavily over Norman’s loss (god, their eventual reunion is going to break my heart), and she probably blames herself for not being strong enough to save him, but she tries to clamp it all down and remain an unshakable den mother for her younger siblings. Which only makes her push herself even closer to the breaking point; it takes getting a damn fever for her to take a rest and let the others take care of her. And god bless Gilda for taking her to task for it; Emma’s as much a part of their family as everyone else, and her well-being matters just as much, god dammit! Christ, that whole scene was amazing from start to finish, especially once Ray got dragged into being scolded as well. This show’s done such a good job establishing the bonds between the Grace kids; you feel how much they care for each other in even the smallest gestures. They’re a family through and through, from the oldest to the youngest alike. And as long as they’re together, there’s no wall they can’t climb.

But it’s gonna take more than just words to keep Emma from self-destructing. Even after that talking too, she’s painfully aware of how difficult the road ahead will be. One way or another, she has to get strong enough to protect the people she loves, even if that means putting herself through hell in the process. And god almighty, the scene where Sonju teaches her how to kill for the first time utterly wrecked me. She accepts the burden of learning how to kill of her own volition, but that doesn’t make it any easier for her to shoot that arrow. And then she has to stab her prey to death with the same damn flower that killed all her friends. Fucking hell, that’s such a cruel worldbuilding detail I can’t help but love it. This species of flower is a bloodsucker, and it bursts into bloom when you stab it into someone’s chest and the petals drain the body dry of blood. It’s a way of preserving meat, whether it’s animal meat or human meat, and very few demons bother to make that distinction. If she wants to grow strong enough to survive, Emma has to treat the animal world like the demons have treated humans: as prey to be killed, cleaned, and feasted on. In some small way, she must become like the beings she hates to keep her family alive. And that’s what she does, her brutal actions punctuated by a series of match cuts to droplets of water falling into a lake just to drive the impact home. Christ. I don’t blame her for vomiting, the implications were almost enough to make me sick.

But at the very least, Emma doesn’t have to live by the rulebook her demon captors do. She doesn’t have to treat her slaughter coldly, without feeling for the small lives she’s taken. She can honor the animals she hunts for their food, honor the sacrifice they make in feeding her, never forgetting what it means to take a life for your own survival. And the image of her praying over the fully bloomed flower, its petals engorged and lusciously red, is going to stick in my mind for a long time. Most anime wish they could come up with symbolism that powerful.

The War to Come

So what’s next for our kids? What perils lie ahead of them on their quest for freedom? Well, we’ve just had a particularly bananas bit of worldbuilding dropped on us: the world we’re in now is a world parallel to the human world, existing alongside it for a thousand years. In times past, humans and demons lived side by side, but they came into conflict as they tried to hunt each other for food and survival. Eventually, the humans offered a solution: rather than risk even more bloodshed, humans and demons would retreat into their own worlds, never bothering the other again. So the normal world does exist in this universe; it just exists alongside this fantastical branch world that closed itself off from the human world a millennium ago, leaving only a few humans behind as a sacrifice that would eventually grow into the farming plants we’re so intimately familiar with. That’s fucking wild. I’m still not sure if we’re in a literal parallel dimension scenario, or if this world is more of a fantasy shadow world, or the human world is actually on the same plane of existence as this world somehow. Either way, the scope of this adventure just got a whole lot bigger. How are we gonna save all the humans trapped in farms across this world, let alone just the remaining Grace Field kids? How are we gonna cross to the human world when apparently no one’s done so in a thousand years? It’s the worst scenario imaginable. But thank god, Emma’s still able to see the bright side: the human world actually exists. There’s a place free of demons they can escape to. Yeah, it’s the worst case scenario, but as long as that chance exists, you can bet nothing’s gonna stop them from reaching for it.

And honestly, I could not be more excited to see where things go from here. We’ve just got a phone call from the mysterious William Minerva himself, and I’m very curious to see what kind of man has the time to plant all these Morse Code clues in books and set up a whole-ass underground bunker for escapees. Shit is happening at such an exciting pace! Were it not for knowing how reviled this season is, I’d have nothing but hope ahead of me now; these first three episodes have been some of TPN’s best yet. They set the stage for a fantastic new chapter in the story while delivering powerful emotional hits and fascinating worldbuilding details one after the other. So either things are literally just about to swan dive off the deep end, or everyone’s insane and this season is actually good. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up being the one lunatic who actually likes season 2. Hey, I was overall okay with Charlotte’s ending, there’s no telling what black sheep of the anime world I’ll end up simping for. So you know what? Fuck it. I’m on board. The Promised Neverland has sucked me right back in and reminded me just how damn good this show can be. And if/until it crashes and burns, I’m gonna remain hopeful for what comes next. Ball’s in your court, show. Don’t let me down now.

Odds and Ends

-Well, it’s no Uverworld, but this OP still slaps pretty hard. So does the ED.

-”YOOOOOOOOW!” sksdjfhsdfkjhsd Emma I appreciate you

-Oh man, I forgot they both hurt their ears taking the trackers out. Yikes.

-”Between south and east.” “Gilda, I know that much.” pfft

-I forget, did we find out that the pen was a holographic map/password-protected codebox in the first season? Or is this a new thing?

-Ooh, I like how you can see Don wordlessly signal the gang to split up. Great detail.

-OH SHIT DIDN’T EXPECT THE HUMANOIDS TO SLICE THE NOH-FACE UP

-See, Sonju, this is why you just tell them their friends are safe instead of being all dramatic about it. Saves everyone a lot of hassle.

-”Demons, huh? We’ve been called that before.” Okay, the way that’s worded fascinates me. What do these beings call themselves, I wonder?

-”It’s good.” God, the crack in her voice...

-”Religious reasons.” Hah, exiled for being too halal towards humans. That’s fun.

-”I’m just that good, then.” Ray you sassy fuck askdjhaskjdh

-Emma being a badass with a bow? Love it.

-”Our appearance has warped over these last 1,000 years.” Has it now? Interesting...

-Oh come on, Sonju, I liked you! Why you gotta be an asshole?

-...well, at least he’s still kicking ass for us. So there’s that.

-”Have you calmed down?” sdlkfjsdkfj what was that tantrum

-I appreciate when shows will just stop and chill for something like this piano solo. Peace in the midst of danger.

-sdkfhskf okay that was an incredibly lucky key press

-”I haven’t bathed like this for ten years!” “You haven’t even been alive ten years.” pfft

-oh boy that’s probably not a good sign scrawling HELP on the walls

And with that, our journey resumes. God, this is gonna be such an interesting experience. See you next time!

[thankskenpenders]

So, about the movie...

At long last, a week after it came out, I was finally able to see the Sonic movie. The Daytona 500 being held across the street from my favorite theater and conflicting work schedules had been keeping me away, but now I’ve finally seen it. And it was...

Decent!

Which is way, way, way, way, way better than a movie with this awful premise has any right being. That’s for damn sure. I enjoyed my time at the theater. I don’t know how they did it, but they did it. If you like Sonic and haven’t already seen it, you will probably get a kick out of this film. If you don’t like Sonic (or Jim Carrey), there is very little in this movie for you

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to break that whole movie down. This will contain full spoilers for the Sonic movie

This movie kinda gave me deja vu because it’s set up so similarly to the Bumblebee movie. Both open with a slavishly faithful CGI sequence on another planet to ensure long time fans that the creative team gives a shit, but a conflict sends the title character to Earth. There, they form an emotional bond with the human lead as they’re pursued by the bad guys, who are working with the US government and tracking the energy signature of the title character. This setup worked extremely well for Bumblebee, because it’s so similar to the usual plot of Transformers. For Sonic, it was... a mixed bag. But it worked better than I expected

(This shot does not happen in the movie.)

That opening though, huh? Green Hill Zone looked great, and I was pleasantly surprised to see they did, in fact, use the Hyper Potions track from Sonic Mania in the actual film. (The piano rendition of the Green Hill theme used later was also lovely.) Longclaw was also interesting. I’ve seen one person bring up all the bird-themed ruins in Sonic 1 and 2 as a possible source of inspiration for the character, and I think that’s a valid take. And man, the echidnas! I wasn’t expecting that AT ALL. I guess that was probably the Knuckles Clan or something? I would never, ever picture them being alive during Sonic’s lifetime, but like... I guess Knuckles had to come from somewhere, right? If they do another movie with Knuckles, will the rest of his kind have died out?

Sadly, though, this sequence felt like it was over in a heartbeat. We barely see Sonic’s life on his home planet, and we’re expected to feel emotional over Longclaw’s sacrifice when she only gets like three lines before Sonic is sent to Earth. This is a common theme with the film--it goes for these big emotional beats that it just does not earn with its rapid fire pacing

Anyway, then we fast forward and Sonic’s a teen. This is actually kind of an interesting one if you’re constantly neck deep in Sonic Character Analysis like me, because it’s a pretty different take on the character. It’s hard to give them credit for doing something somewhat fresh with the character, though, because like... how much of that was intentional, and how much was just Hollywood writers trying to squeeze a generic action-adventure movie out of Sonic? (Honestly, it’s probably mostly the latter.)

The closest other piece of Sonic media to the movie would probably be Sonic X, a story in which Sonic isn’t really the protagonist. The Sonic of the anime is fairly emotionally distant. He cares deeply about his friends, and does nice things for them, but he’s totally fine with running off on his own for extended lengths of time, and he doesn’t really talk about his feelings. He’s not the character the audience is meant to sympathize with, but is instead this cool older kid who Chris wants to impress. This is pretty much in line with how Sega likes to depict the character. He cares about his friends, but he’s also cool with being a loner. It feels like he only runs into them incidentally, usually when Eggman is causing trouble, and then when the crisis of the week is taken care of he’s back to going on his own adventures. There’s a reason why one of his catchphrases is “long time no see”

The Sonic of the movie is the polar opposite. His main conflict is that he’s lonely and desperately seeks friendship. He’s also an overly-eager, extremely earnest goober. He literally flosses twice. (Which I loved.) I’ve seen him compared to Silver, and honestly, that’s not a bad comparison. I did like it, though! I don’t mind Sonic being a more emotionally open character, like he was in a lot of older Western media. I mean, he cried in like the second or third episode of SatAM

It’s just that, like many things in the movie, it feels less like a deliberate creative choice and more like a logical string of decisions to make when writing a generic action-adventure film for general audiences. Sonic’s the only one of his kind on Earth, so of course he’d be lonely. He has to have some sort of arc for audiences to connect with him, and if he’s gotta be accompanied by James Marsden for the whole movie, well, his arc’s gotta be about them becoming friends

I’ve gotta say, though: Ben Schwartz is great as Sonic. As much as I like Roger Craig Smith, I wouldn’t complain if he became the new main voice of the character. And thanks to the redesign, he looked great. I can’t imagine how nightmarish this movie would’ve been if Sonic wasn’t cute

My main fear with this movie, though, was that Sonic wouldn’t really be the protagonist. As a fan of Transformers, I know all too well that the cost of doing a full CGI character usually means that said character can’t really be the star of the film. Optimus and Bumblebee aren’t the stars of the Transformers movies--they’re supporting characters who are primarily present for the sake of the action scenes. The humans are the real stars in those movies, and the robots are barely even characters. I was terrified that Sonic would be the same, with the actual character I paid to see taking a backseat to James Marsden The Cop

I’m not quite sure if they struck the right balance there, but they did better than I worried they would. Sonic is central enough to the film and gets enough screentime that you can easily say he’s the protagonist. BUT there is absolutely too much of Tom and his family. The human cast is fine, the performances are fine, and there were a few good jokes, but every time the movie tried to get me to care about Tom’s life I was bored out of my mind. It’s just so trite and passionless. The other characters barely felt fleshed out at all, including Tom’s girlfriend (wife?) and Agent Stone. The little girl who gives Sonic the shoes had some cute moments, though

I do, however, love the part in which James Marsden is walking around in a San Francisco t-shirt, to remind us that he’s planning on moving to San Francisco... which then becomes the excuse for Sonic to think about San Francisco and accidentally send his warp rings there, which becomes the excuse for the buddy road trip aspect of the film. And as much as that was a focus of the marketing, the actual road trip part is like... maybe 20 minutes of the movie? There’s like three scenes with Sonic and Tom on the road and then they’re in San Francisco for act 3. The movie tries to act like they’ve formed this deep bond and I just did not give a shit. I don’t care about the cop. All Cops Are Bastards, and that absolutely includes Tom, whose dream in life is to join the extremely corrupt San Francisco PD

The whole excuse for Sonic having to sit in the passenger seat of a car going the speed limit for a good chunk of the movie is also, just. Stupid. If he doesn’t know where San Francisco is and time is of the essence, just... give him a map?

And then there’s Jim Carrey. I was worried about this one. The previews tended to highlight his most Jim Carrey Being Wacky moments, and as fond as I am of movies like The Truman Show and Bruce Almighty, that’s just. That’s not Robotnik. I was pleasantly surprised by the actual movie, though! I thought he was pretty good. I’m not sure what incarnation of Eggman I’d most compare him to, but like... it was close enough, and he was entertaining enough. I’d pay to go see another movie with him as Robotnik. Sure. (Especially with how he was looking at the end of the film.)

There were some other little interesting tidbits here with Eggman, although again, a lot of that is less “let’s do a new take on Eggman” and more “let’s do a marketable movie with Eggman in it, which requires us to explain some stuff.” Like him straight up just being a normal human from Earth, with none of the confusion present in the current “two worlds” canon of the games. Or him apparently being an orphan who was bullied in school, and who trusts machines more than other humans. It’s a safe way to depict the character in a Hollywood movie, but I thought it worked

The way they got to his nickname was kind of funny, though. Like, obviously they didn’t put Jim Carrey in a fat suit, and thank god for that. So instead of mocking his weight, the nickname is derived from the egg-shaped robots he uses. Which made sense, I guess. It at least felt logical for this incarnation of Sonic, who had annoyingly been calling Tom “Donut Lord” the whole movie, to make up the nickname “Eggman.” (Said robots, by the way, were a weak point of the movie to me. They just didn’t have that Eggman whimsy and felt very safe and very Hollywood. Honestly, though, if they had just made Robotnik’s ship grey and slapped some hazard stripes on it, it’d probably be fine.)

As a whole, I thought the humor of the movie was... okay. Sonic had a lot of good moments thanks to Schwartz’s great performance, as did Robotnik. There were just so many weird lines, like James Marsden telling Robotnik that he was breast fed, or the agonizingly long child trafficking joke with Sonic in the duffel bag. Stuff like that

The action was great, though. They definitely owe a lot to the Quicksilver scene in that one X-men movie (I forget the one), but they had a lot of fun with Sonic’s powers and it felt extremely true to the character. Seeing him do one of his Smash poses during the San Francisco fight was great. The action scenes were an absolute delight

And then the ending. Oh, that ending

So, I had already heard that Tails shows up in the stinger before I saw the film. And when I heard that, I expected it to be like, the classic Tails origin story. Maybe Sonic would return to his planet, and run into this precocious kid who decides to follow him around... but no! Not at all! Tails is already the Tails we know and love. He’s already an inventor, he’s already tracking down Sonic. I’m shocked that Sonic actually stayed with Tom instead of running off to have new adventures, but hopefully this is a sign that more characters will be brought into the fray if they make a sequel

And boy, they better make that damn sequel. This movie had a great opening weekend and a positive reception. They have no excuse not to. GIVE US SONIC AND TAILS GOING ON AN ADVENTURE

Other stray thoughts

Holy shit they put Sanic in the movie

The Sega logo animation meant that Kiryu from Yakuza was in this movie for a few seconds

The pixel art credits sequence, which featured both the Sonic 2 special stage and Get Blue Spheres as well as the Eggman logo screens from the Studiopolis Zone boss, was cute

The Saturn logo could be seen on the diagram of the other habitable planets

Robotnik had a label for “Badniks” on his circuit breaker. I wonder if the drones in the movie are intended to be Badniks, or if we’ll see actual ones if a sequel gets made

Also, was it implied that Robotnik committed war crimes for the US government

One of the government guys who I think only got one line was played by Garry Chalk and as such sounded exactly like Optimus Primal

I can’t tell if Sonic getting a red race car bed was an intentional shout out to the Archie comics or if it’s just a coincidence, but I loved it

A dude about my age wearing a Sonic Mania t-shirt literally stood up and clutched his head in shock when Tails showed up

After the movie a very excited kid got his mom to take his photo with the Sonic display in the lobby. Afterwards he was so excited that he flossed

I can’t believe they talked about Olive Garden so much

[ganymedesclock]

Hello I asked for the child headcanons and was not let down so I need to know your space pirate headcanons as well for scientific purposes. (To elaborate, how you think the Paladins would fair as space pirates.)

I could see them like. settling into a kind of Robin Hood arrangement because that’s about the most piracy I can see half of these people getting up to. Dang heroic goobers. I also went into like, equipment and weapons assuming they don’t have access to the Lions or Paladin Gear, at least at first- since they have a very knightly image that’s very cool but very not conducive to getting your pirate on.

Shiro

Probably the least into this. He takes it seriously and tries to make sure everybody has fun, only pillages what they’re supposed to, and adheres to the buddy system. He’s the captain at first on the ship later stepping down to First Mate, if we’re determinedly injecting as much actual pirate into this as possible (and if we’re not, I’m not sure why we would propose a pirate AU)

Can see him doing a sort of saber-and-pistol fighting style where he has a nice effective little one-handed gun and pairs it with his laser hand. I can also see him slowly coming to terms with a somewhat sinister reputation and figuring out how to use it around other less ethical pirates because there are advantages to being able to make someone back down where they stand with a single stern look.

He figures he’s doing all right once, on allied planets, kids aren’t afraid to walk up to him.

He has a moderately cool pirate coat here but it ends at the waist for practicality’s sake and his gear sort of combines layered cloth with some modest armor piecing (if you’ve seen Guardians Of The Galaxy think a little Starlord in aesthetic) but mostly he wants to be light on his feet and balance defense with agility. 

Keith

He’s not intentionally dressing like a pirate he just wants to hide in his layers, danget. Sort of as a nod to Keith’s heritage and his very “it’s complicated” status with it, as well as his natural survivalist streak, I can see Keith bulking up a relatively shabby pirate look with pieces that are clearly stolen off of galra soldiers, though the armor is so mix-and-match that he doesn’t exactly have the Imperial Look- he might have a shoulder piece from a commander connecting to the bicep armor of a lieutenant and the bracer and glove of an ordinary foot soldier.

Even though this isn’t an AU that really would shuffle around a lot of other factors necessarily, I sort of like the idea of pirate Keith showing a lot more of his heritage so his inclination to hide as much as he can is a bit more, uh, practical, because on the fringes of the empire you probably find a lot of people who are a lot more enthusiastic about their dislike of galra.

Keith is basically born for pirate skirmish fighting. He’s fast, he’s scrappy, I can see him much more enthusiastically dual-wielding with his dagger in one hand and a sword in the other. (The sword could also be a stolen imperial piece). With less armor and riskier situations (much more one-on-one fighting) I can see him having some scrapes and stumbles that leave scars. Out of the team he’s probably the main dogfighter, deploying a smaller ship from their hub vessel to defend it in battle, though I can see most of them participating in that.

He’d probably be less interested or focused on looting and selling things off or trying to balance the budget since he strikes me as much more living hand-to-mouth just. “We need a new engine? Okay. hit a ship with a nice one and we’ll grab it.”

Pidge

What are you talking about, she’s not a criminal! Look at this adorable rosy-cheeked kid in a dress, oh, she’s so sad, let’s go see if she’s okay-where’d that knife come from.

Let’s be dead honest Pidge would take to being a criminal mastermind really well. Her armor is more for muffling than for protection, she’s got cool goggles. Need to pick your way past security, get in get out without being seen? Pidge is your adorable pirate brat. Equipped with knuckleduster taser, buncha little sharp things, grappling tether, and the kinda quick and efficient tactics like she pulled on the bomb merchant in s4e2.

Pidge is basically already a space pirate you just gotta factor out the paladin gear. Also if anybody has an alien space parrot, it’s her. She gets it.

Hunk

The ship is his baby. He built this thing himself with his own blood, sweat, and tears, and he’ll acknowledge people have good ideas and there’s room for improvement but it’s still his baby.

The thing about pirates and explosions is they get along really, really well, and I think if we’re putting anybody as local demolitions expert its Hunk. I think at least initially, rather than dogfighting he’d use the arsenal of the main ship. For personal fights he pairs an artillery piece the size of his canon one with a couple of power gauntlets for brawling.

He’s not so big on this robbing thing but I can see him doing a lot around the base to help connect and take care of people.

Lance

Lance is the one actually killing this pirate aesthetic. Has a couple of pistols plus his rifle and swaps between them as-needed, long coat, layers, swishy fabrics, he’s doing fantastic thanks. If anything I imagine he complains a lot that the rest of the team isn’t giving this pirate thing their all. C’mon guys, where’s your sense of adventure? Of romance? The call of the stardust in your blood?

I can see him doing so many dumb aesthetic things because just. listen. Listen. He’s a space pirate. There is no way in hell he is not going to milk this for everything it’s possibly worth.He keeps desperately trying to come up with a cool pseudonym but they never stick.

As far as selling stuff they stole but don’t need, I think Lance would be the best out of that, he has that good bartering charm and a keen sense of when somebody’s stiffing him, plus potential fences tend to underestimate him because he’s young and goofy.

Consequentially though he’s the most directly responsible for the team’s finances so sometimes they have to deal with him making slightly questionable decisions. (“Is that a cow?”)

Allura

Remember how I said Shiro gets demoted? It happens once they find the Alteans. It’s kind of a slow slide at first where they’re just trusting and listening to Allura because she knows all this secret magical stuff they’re digging up but like after a while it’s just, “Allura, listen, we’ve thought about this a lot, and here’s the best coat, you’re the captain now. Getting a cool hat is on you but highly recommended.”

So, yeah. Pirate princess. Shiro politely defers in the face of Her Highness but she respects his experience and closeness to the crew regardless. Lance totally spoils her with jewelry on at least a few occasions and while she doesn’t feel that way about him and this is made clear, she does appreciate sparklies. Also with the diplomatic background and just plain being so goshdarn pretty she is a massive boon negotiating with other crews or locations.

By their powers combined, Allura and Lance form the Diplomacy Team: they’re here to look better than you and forge agreements at the same time.

Even if it’s not necessarily explicitly piratey, I want her to keep her whip blade just because it’s an absolute thing of beauty. She probably has the nicest armor at least initially, before she helps these vagabonds shape up into a better crew, since it’s like. an actual full suit tailored to her.

Coran

As much as Hunk loves his ship, Coran definitely moves to his usual position as helmsman, which is a much appreciated change because for the first time in a long time Hunk can leave the ship for raids and such without worrying or saddling someone else with Ship Babysitting.

I can see Coran being more than a little bit goofy in that he’s determined to fit this pirate thing but his overall result is more vintage space-flavored swordsman dandy than anything, which he will adamantly defend as the attire of any proper pirate. (he and Lance get into arguments about pirate aesthetics sometimes)

Under Coran’s guidance the ship ends up being an increasing hodgepodge of Altean aesthetics. This can’t end well when they have their inevitable team-up with those other cool pirates in season 5

[truxi-twice]

Honestly, this is a big part of why I want Jose and Panchito to show up in Duck Tales. Not just because I love them so, but because *they* love Donald. *They* understand better than almost anyone just how much Donald loves and sacrifices for his family. (I'm thinking of that scene in the comics where they're treasure hunting and Donald says he'd spend his third getting the boys through college and Jose begins sobbing and begging Panchito to shoot him in the foot because he isn't even worthy to walk the same ground as such a selfless and noble duck. Also, have I mentioned that I love Jose and Panchito's melodramatics?)

But they're also people that the nephews would probably find pretty cool. Panchito is a sharpshooter. Jose... I feel like Louie would cotton onto him immediately.

Sure, there was Hercules, but he was kind of a goober and the boys realized it. So they never took much of his lauding of Donald seriously, especially since it was Scrooge who apparently kept besting Zeus.

But Panchito and Jose *know* Donald from back before the boys. They know how brave and resourceful he is. But they're also the sort who would be able to see just how much he loves the boys and everything he's sacrificed them. And they're both open enough with expressing emotions (unlike scrooge). And they're just cool enough that it might actually make an impact if, at some point at the end if an episode of wacky adventure, they talk about just what the boys mean to Donald and how much he lives them.

Also just... more Jose and Panchito please?

We all laugh at Donald being stuck in the pantry but he likely heard the skirmish between Beakley and Black Heron and thought his nephews were in danger and couldn’t get to them in time. 

Or in between fits of rage he hears the rest of the family speaking and they’re just like “Oh, Uncle Donald’s locked in the pantry. Get me a soda, will ya?” 

He’s sacrificed everything for them and this is his reward.  

[howtohero]

Seasonal Big Bads

Tired of having to fight so many different individual supervillains week to week? Not yet ready for a longterm nemesis? Want to fight someone at a snail’s pace over a period of many months? Then it sounds like you need a seasonal big bad! 

In order to qualify for a seasonal big bad you and your friends need to begin having strictly episodic adventures. If a villain can’t be defeated in the course of a day, leave them to somebody else to fight. Fight just one, unique, villain a week. You should try to make sure that each of these adventures follow the same formula. Begin your day by stopping a regular crime. A crime that you normally wouldn’t even bother with. One that the police could have easily dealt with. I’m thinking like a pick pocket or maybe a mail fraudster. Once you’ve done that your main baddie for the day will reveal themselves. Even though you’ve fought villains stronger than them or perhaps even with the exact same powers many times before, this new bad guy will somehow catch you off guard and elude you, having successfully committed some nefarious crime like vending machine larceny or bird kidnapping. Then instead of chasing after them, which would be laughably easy to do thanks to the faster than light engine you -for some reason- installed on your super dune buggy, you need to go back to your base. Once there you can chat amicably with your support-squad, find out what interpersonal dramas they’re dealing with that particular week. Maybe your engineer is going on a blind date. Perhaps your doctor is having an icy reconciliation with their estranged mother. It is imperative that you give these stories and issues your full undivided attention. You can deal with that bad guy later, it literally will not take you longer than five minutes to deal with them when you get around to it. So there’s no rush. After you help your friends resolve their issues you can then go out and stop this new villain from committing the exact same crime a second time in one day. There will be zero significant differences between this time and the last time you encountered them. But this time you need to beat them, using your powers, which for some reason you didn’t do before. Happy endings all around. If you have enough adventures like this eventually you’ll get your very own seasonal big bad.

Seasonal big bads are the most dangerous villain you’ll ever face... until next season when you have to fight an even bigger big bad that takes you the exact same amount of time to successfully defeat! A seasonal big bad will lurk in the shadows for a while, sending out goons and decoys to keep you distracted as they slowly slowly move the pieces in place for their grand evil scheme. So, since they’re keeping to themselves for the earlier parts of the year you have to work especially hard to recognize that you’re not facing a series of unrelated lower-level villains but that you are instead facing someone with an actual agenda that goes beyond “turning into a sand monster and scaring movie fans at the annual movie-at-the-park night.” 

One surefire way to know if you’re being targeted by a seasonal big bad is if you’re suddenly facing a whole bunch of new superpowered supervillains that you weren’t even aware of before. It’s not every day that a whole bunch of new superhumans come out of the woodwork at once. Unless you live in Super-Arkansas, an invisible state in between Arkansas and Oklahoma in which the birth-rate is pretty high and everybody is born with a random superpower. But for the rest of the world any influx of brand new superhumans should raise some eyebrows. Only seasonal big bads can create superhumans en masse, or at least they’re the only people who regularly have reason to do so. If you’re too busy stopping and investigating a whole new slew of super-crimes you’re much less likely to notice that random pieces of lab equipment keep going missing from labs across the city. 

About halfway through your year though, (to be clear this is not the January-December year. Seasonal big bad cycles tend to run on a September-May year so just go ahead and circle January 27th on your calendar and say that’s the date we’re talking about) you’ll finally uncover the conspiracy and come face to face with your seasonal big bad. While on the surface they may seem like just another madman bent on world domination, like the ones you deal with every Tuesday, this one is special. This one drank like extra evil juice. Maybe they’ll have the same powers as you, but stronger. Maybe they’ll be smarter than you. Maybe they’ll actually have a long standing one-sided grudge against you because their father was a supervillain and you stopped his evil schemes by tossing him into a fish truck that was leaving the city and he was directionally challenged and was never able to find his way back to town and also he smells like fish now so nobody wants him to come back anyway. Whatever their deal is, prepare to get absolutely thrashed by them. You’re going to get the actual snot out of you. They’re going to beat you up so bad that your immune system just collapses and you catch a really bad cold and start sneezing all the time. You’re going to get completely dismantled and it’s going to be very embarrassing. But do not despair. It’s all part of the process. If you were able to win the first fight you ever had with your seasonal big bad then they wouldn’t be very good seasonal big bads now would they? 

Don’t worry though, your seasonal big bad won’t kill you. They won’t even really try. For some reason they’ll assume that if they beat you up really badly, but then leave you alive, that you’ll just give up and retire or something. I guess they don’t get just how personally superheroes take things. When a super powerful person is so used to winning, one defeat isn’t going to make them pack up and go home, the only thing that defeat will do will cause them to vow to do whatever it takes to take the person who beat them off of the board. So good job seasonal big bad, you’ve just sealed your own fate. 

The rest of your year will be spent trying every hair brained scheme you can think of to regain dominance over your seasonal big bad. You’ll clone yourself, travel through time, trigger an alien invasion even going so far as to team up with your actual long-term nemesis who is actually very jealous of this seasonal big bad for taking up all your time. You’ll train harder, recruit new allies to your cause, blast them on social media. You’ll try to steal their powers, their followers, you’ll even try to turn their own wife against them. No tactic is too dirty or unhanded in pursuit of this noble goal of yours. To get revenge on the person made you look like a real goober on national television. You know who watches national television? Attractive people. Now what are they going to think of you. Good luck getting a date now guy who got wedgied on live television by a death cultist. 

Of course though, nothing you attempt will even come close to working until May, maaaaaybe mid-April if you’re lucky. It’s almost not even worth the effort. At times you’ll think about giving up and just letting your city fall to this heinous villain. Anybody who spends an entire school year meticulously carrying out a plot to take over your city kind of deserves to win no? Only your spite and anger will fuel you through those long middle months. Thankfully, the seasonal big bad will continue to make a fool of you every time you meet so there will be no shortage of spite coursing through your veins. 

And then, finally, the final conflict will arrive. One big final scuff up between you and your allies and the big bad and their little bad minions. (Not little in the sense that they are less evil, little in the sense that they are physically shorter than the main bad guy. He’s very tall that guy.) It will take everything you’ve got to finally beat this villain. May as well even bust out some fancy new duds for the occasion. Not to mention the latest in bad guy fighting technology that just happened to take your lead engineer nine months to develop. Convenient! Well, not for all the people who died in the bad guy’s rampage. But convenient for you that the weapon was finished just in time for the grand finale! Then you’ll come face to face with the villain who has been tormenting you for almost but not quite an entire year. Finally the hour of their reckoning has arrived. You can take revenge for your past humiliation. Avenge all of those that have fallen to their villainous schemes. You’ve been training non-stop for this moment. You’ve broken several fundamental laws of both physics and also your township in pursuit of this goal. Everything from the past just about a year has been leading up this moment. 

You might die.

But don’t worry it’s fine you’ll come back. And when you come back you’ll be more powerful than ever before and you’ll be able to finally end the threat of this terrible turnip that’s been terrorizing your neighborhood. Get pumped (and get amped!) for them to say something like “No! How it can be! They’re even more powerful than I ever could have imagined!” It’s gonna be so vindicating. So awesome. You’re gonna be great you got this! Make sure you’ve got a cool one-liner planned for when you finally take care of this big bad. Something like “Ha! You have been defeated and it is I who is the one who has been the one to defeat you!” Something cool and smooth like that. Try to make a pun if you can. Then, you can just relax. Your city will be completely safe. For like three or four whole months. Then, the cycle will begin anew. Have fun! This is your life now!

(Be wary though, of the big bad switcheroo. Where you think one of the bad guys you’re fighting is your big bad for the year only for them to be unceremoniously defeated at some point. When this happens, don’t start patting yourself on the back just yet. It’s not that you’re so great at fighting crime that you were able to beat your big bad in record time. It’s very likely that some even more powerful and evil villain is going to take their place and serve as the big bad for the rest of the year. So stay alert for any like evil nieces or henchmen that seem to actively be taking notes whenever your big bad is doing things. They might turn out to be the true villain of this saga in your life!)