#he's just such a wreck in this scene--my empathetic boy in love

[pearlcaddy]

lockwood reacting to lucy's pain

LOCKWOOD & CO. 1.02

[gracetoldmeto]

@temporarydaydream sent in this question ages ago and I loved it so much that I wanted my answer to do it justice. 

Dude, I ate this question up I loved it soooo much, I will be going hugely overboard on this answer because I have THOUGHTS haha

For reference, this is the post...

Also, I know you didn't ask about Matt but Im including him here too (for good reason, you’ll see) and ALSO I am nowhere near as well versed in L as I am with Mello and Matt, so his description may be a bit more brief.

....

Wammy’s Boys and Asexuality Headcanons

(ft: L, Mello, & Matt)

...

L:  Aromantic/Asexual (Sex-repulsed)

Oddly enough, L was the most difficult to write for.

L knows that the title of “L” needs to be what everyone thinks him to be. Very little emotional personal life, a need to be perfect or “pure” in a sense (something something Lawlight foot scene and how its a biblical reference yada yada) and a career-focused life dedicated to detective work.

This outlook was likely introduced to him, as well as the other children at Wammy’s at a very young age, but L knows he is simply best fitted to fulfill that standard. He took on the title because it worked for him. He is able to function with less "distraction" than others simply because a romantic or sexual connection is not what he personally values. Only justice is.

Which means he chooses to value refining his skills in his free time, rather than seeing it as work. That's also why Lawlight exists. Light is the only other person able to keep up with L, and both of them value each others intellect in a personal and possibly emotional way. L's values are in his work and no one was ever able to really empathetically understand him until Light. And in a way that understanding and appreciation is intimate enough, especially for L.

...

Mello: Demiromantic/Asexual 

Like L, Mello’s lofty standards for self-achievement are reflected in his sexuality. And a big reason as to how Mello is able to dedicate his entire life to his cause is because he does not have to “deal with” the “affliction of sexual attraction” (if I were to put it in his words). 

However, unlike L, Mello is not sex-repulsed in the slightest. Well, not in a typical sense. Mello has a pretty active sex life but not for the reason some onlookers assume him to be. Mello specifically and exclusively uses his attractive appearance and sex appeal as a tool and ONLY as a tool. Whether it be to obtain information for a job, or just as a no strings attached stress reliever, Mello has gotten in the routine of using sex for a non-sexual purpose because of the one-up it gives him. It him feel powerful and in control in an area many others would feel exposed. 

Consequently, Mello actively avoids sex in his personal relationships because the idea of a sexual relationship has been tainted due to his unhealthy use of the act in his line of work. And that can also be difficult with his demiromantic alignment, if he doesn’t know how to express his feelings. So I think Mello represses. A lot. Which brings me to his relationship with Matt.

I’ll get into Matt’s details next, but Mello is in fact capable of having romantic feelings for Matt, but his actions have left him stuck without a way to communicate that in a way Matt understands. We have an epic stalemate of love languages between the boys and it’s often a train wreck of a miscommunication because neither is capable of meeting the other’s romantic needs without compromise. And Mello already doesn’t do that well.

Mello already does not feel sexual attraction to begin with (even if we ignore his questionable work relationship with sex) and Matt would never dream of trusting a stranger to share a bed with him. They are circles of a Venn diagram that will never naturally intersect.

...

Matt: Greyromantic/Demisexual

Ah Matt. I see him as very similar to myself, so I usually base a lot of my HCs for him around my experiences.

Matt is complicated. He is Mello’s foil in a lot of cases, but in terms of their sexualities, they conflict in more ways than they agree. Specifically because Matt exclusively cannot feel inclined to have sex with anyone unless he knows and feels safe with them. And that is rooted in a lot of trust issues, especially including when Mello abandoned him at Wammy’s. But specifically, Matt would much prefer to feel safe in everything he does, and being in a vulnerable state without trusting the opposite party is just not something Matt can do comfortably.

So when we look at that in the context of his near-lifelong relationship with Mello we run into a massive problem. Matt wants to express his feelings in a more sexually intimate way, whereas Mello actively avoids that in personal relationships in which he is emotionally and romantically invested in. The only way Mello intends to communicate intamacy is in asking Matt for help in his work. And that leads to A LOT of the tension we see between them. 

If Matt wasn't complicated enough, his crushes are usually people he knows as close friends, but not always. However the shortest crush Matt has ever had was about 4 months. The longest (excluding Mello) was 4 years and was on a friend he lost touch with after an unrelated falling out of their friendship.

He almost never acts on his feelings but doesn’t exclusively fit the demiromantic description. The demi label confuses him immensely and is the source of a lot of insecurity on top of his confusion and anxiety around his relationship with Mello, so he falls more into the grey category.

... 

***I am not an expert in this (I’m still learning) these are personal observations and opinions as a questioning demi if I say anything offensive, please let me know and I will correct it, I mean no ill intent here just well-intended character analysis***

Hope this answered your question! Thank you SO much for asking, I had a lot of fun writing this up <3

fin

[makebank]

secrets & suds

request: long request but to summarize jj is involved with a kook but hasn’t moved past hooking up, he gets in trouble for pope sinking the boat, and she decides to help out. 

word count: 2.3k

warnings: mentions of smut but none, cussing, typos, angst, fluff

He presses a quick kiss to your cheek as he throws his shirt over his disheveled head. His skin is slightly damp and glistening and some of his tufts of hair plastered to his forehead. “Gotta bounce, see you tomorrow?”

You beam at the blond from across the room and send him a smirk, “You always do”. He rushes out of your house just before dawn. JJ was always good about making sure to leave before your parents woke up, specifically your dad. You never minded the class division, but it was easy to say from your spot on the kook throne. You take a moment to regain your breath then toss yourself back onto your silky king size bed. Your satin pajama set lay wrinkled off the side of your bed, you knew he was going to love ripping off the matching outfit as soon as he saw you. 

For some time now you and JJ have had a little arrangement. And by arrangement that meant he came over most nights to fool around. Sometimes you’d get him to watch a movie or cuddle, but it was always interrupted by your parents waking up or his friends texting him for something. You weren’t exactly sure when you started to fall for the troublemaker, but it came with ease. He seemed so rough and mysterious, which is what amplified your want for him in the first place. But after closer observation, he is kind, gentle, and would do anything for you. Of course you knew it would never happen. He is too caught up in the division and himself to even want anything more than this. Not that you don’t love the time you get with him, but you crave more. 

You sigh as you stand up wrapping yourself in your fluffy robe. Peering out of your bedroom window, you watch JJ sprint across your lawn and expertly hop the high gate. 

-

Alternating between mindlessly scrolling through your phone and checking out your window, you grow impatient. JJ had never missed coming over without texting. You were worried something happened or maybe he was just bored of you. It was getting late, so you send a single text hoping he was okay and try to lull yourself to sleep.

-

The next morning you wake up and for a moment your fears weren’t there. Slowly blinking your eyes open, it all comes back to you. You reach for your phone hoping for some relief. To your dismay no new messages were from him. You jump out of bed and rush to take a quick shower. Some slight snooping wouldn’t hurt. 

You definitely weren’t close with any of JJ’s friends, but you did know where to find them. You enter the Wreck looking overwhelming overdressed in your designer shoes and this season’s newest sundress. You find a vacant booth and make yourself cozy until a curly haired girl you recognize as one of his best friends comes to get your drink order. After she introduces herself, it clicks. Kiara right you had a class with her freshman year of high school. Hm small world. She comes back with your coffee and asks what you’d like to order.

“Have you seen JJ lately?” you awkwardly ask. She shoots you a confused look before settling into a glare. “What’s it to you?” You stumble on your words, “Oh… nothing. He just normally mows our lawn on Wednesday mornings, but he didn’t show up. Just thought I’d ask”. She seems semi satisfied with your answer and doesn’t press for more detail. “Well, he’s busy. Not that it’s any of your business anyway. So do you want something to eat or not?” You weren’t sure why she was being so hostile it's not like you two ever had any direct problems. Maybe she was just being protective of her friend. You weren’t going to take it to heart. 

You slump down in your seat resigning to the fact you weren’t going to get any answers from her. “No, I think I’m good with just this. Thanks”. She huffs whatever and walks away. Just as you're about to leave you see a frantic boy rush up to the counter to Kiara. You knew it was Pope from the pictures JJ has shown you. He looks like he’s on the verge of meltdown. 

“I can’t believe JJ covered for me. Ten thousand dollars is a lot of money. I feel so bad! What do I do?” He’s running a mile a minute and Kiara tells him to lower his voice. She brings him into the back room to comfort him away from eavesdropping ears. However, you heard it all and can’t comprehend what happened that he would owe that much money. Nonetheless, you conclude that you’re going to find a way to help him, wherever he is. You drop a couple twenties leaving a hefty tip and rush out of the restaurant. 

Walking down the street you bump into the three bozos that rule your side of the island. They ogle you and shout their vulgar ‘compliments’ at you. You scoff but are well accustomed to their barbarian-like nature. As you strut away, you overhear Rafe yelling at Topper. “Dude, get over the boat! You won’t even hit on y/n with us. That Maybank kid will have to pay one way or another”. What was with today and perfect timing? You thought you were going to have to dig a little deeper.

You walk home to think of a plan. You had lots of money, but your parents would notice if you took that big of a chunk out without something nice to show in return. There was no way you could get that much, but you could find a way to get fifty percent. That would be enough to get the authorities off his back and give you time to talk down the Thorton’s. You decide you could easily sneak a couple thousand without your parents noticing, but you were going to have to figure out a way to come up with the rest. 

It dawns on you after spending all your childhood watching teen rom coms. A car wash! Everyone was always searching for one after a storm. Plus, it wouldn’t take much but a simple tweet and an instagram story to have people lining the block. You immediately text the girls’ group chat to set the plan for tomorrow. 

- 

You wake up with a spring in your step ready to put your plan into action. You frown a little knowing it was another day with no word from JJ. You hope he’s safe and just taking time to himself. 

Putting on your skimpiest bikini and shorts you gawk at yourself in the mirror. It’s not like you had a problem with showing yourself off, you just knew the attention you were in for today regardless. You were doing this for JJ though, you wanted to help him out and show him there’s a lot more to you than having money and pretending to be perfect. 

You greet all your friends and start setting up. As cars start to line up, you can’t help but giggle to yourself thinking of the stereotypical ‘Cherry Pie’ or “Milkshakes’ playing in the background of every car wash scene. You get to work flirting and scrubbing cars as you all work for every dollar. The nice thing about Figure 8 was that they were willing to spend whatever. Just as you were about to head to another car you hear someone shouting your name.

You whip around to see a red faced and furious JJ. “You’re alive!” You try to lighten the tension. “What the hell are you doing y/n?” You frown in confusion. “What do you mean? A car wash?” He doesn’t seem satisfied with your sarcasm. “You're half naked out here and all these guys can’t keep their hands to themselves,”  he remarks annoyed while flailing his arms. You grin for a moment realizing he’s jealous, then it dawns on you, “First of all, you just disappeared off the face of the earth for days. No text or anything. Second, since when you do you care about what other guys say to me?” He crosses his arms over his body clearly irritated by your logical retort. “It’s none of your business. And I don’t care”. All the energy drains from you at the impact of his words. “Fine. Then keep not caring and leave me alone.” You swivel around stalking off to another car leaving him alone. Even if he didn’t want you, you were determined to finish your job and then move on.

You turn over your shoulder to see JJ storming off in the other direction. Your heart aches at seeing him actually leave. At least you knew he was breathing now. The next car pulls up with Pope in it. “What was that all about?” Your eyes widen at one of his friends catching you. He chuckles, “It’s okay I know about you guys. He tells me everything”. You soften knowing you weren’t a complete secret. “I’m not sure. He’s upset with me though.” He sends you an empathetic smile, “Don’t worry. He’s dealing with a lot right now. He’ll cool down eventually.” You nod your head, “Yeah, I heard about that. That’s actually what this is all for,” you admit sheepishly. Pope’s eyebrows raise with confusion. “My mom had me bring the car, because she said it was raising money for the high school”. Yikes. “That’s my bad. I kinda said it was for whatever people would listen to, so people would come”. He laughs, “Quick thinking y/l/n. You want some help?” Now it's your turn to laugh. “I’m sure we could find you some short shorts somewhere.” He parks the car off to the side and grabs a sponge to contribute. 

The rest of the day goes by with a breeze while joking with Pope and the girls. The last car drives off and you all plop on the curb for a break. You dry off your hands and start counting the money. You could almost cry happy tears. You raised over four thousand dollars. You thank everyone and promise to buy them mimosas at brunch tomorrow. For spoiled rich kids, they sure knew how to help someone in need. Pope pulls you into a side hug, “Thanks for doing this for him”. You smile squeezing him back, “thanks for helping”. 

After putting on some real clothes you stalk off to the Thorton’s. They promise they’ll leave JJ alone about the couple thousand left so it can be paid off slowly, now that they have a down payment for another boat. You breathed a sigh of relief knowing you did all you could. 

-

JJ was relaxing at John B.'s when he got a call. After hanging up, he’s elated and full of energy. He yells to the pogues, “Guys they said I don’t have to serve any time for the boat!” They all jump up excited and ask how. “They said over half of the debt has been paid, so they said I’ll have to sign up for some payment plan. But this means it won’t be on my record or anything”. They all join him in a group hug congratulating him. John B. pipes up, “Who paid it?” JJ stops for a moment considering that it wasn’t just magic, and the only person he knew that had money that knew was Kie. “Did you have your parents do it Kie? I seriously can’t thank you enough,” he picks her up into a giant hug. She shakes her head once he lets her down. “No, I wish I could’ve though. Sorry man.” 

Pope is smirking thinking about his day yesterday trying not to blow his cover. JJ notices. “What do you know, Pope?” He just shakes his head not budging. JJ throws his arm around his neck putting him into a choke hold wrestling move. Kie and John B. are enjoying watching them fight until Pope taps out. “Fine! It was y/n. That’s what the whole giant parade of cars getting washed was”. JJ freezes speechless. He turns on his heels and instantly busts out of the chateau. 

Meanwhile, you’re getting into comfy clothes preparing yourself for a lonely movie marathon tonight. Just as you settle into your thousand thread count sheets, your door swings open making you jump. “JJ you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?” He crosses your abnormally large room beelining to you. He grabs your chin and pulls you into a kiss. Your hand naturally falls to his arm as you allow him to passionately lead your lips. You pull away gasping for air. “What was that for?” 

He sits down next to you. “I am so sorry. I’m sorry for disappearing and not texting you. And I’m really sorry for being such a dick yesterday at the car wash. I didn’t know you were doing all that for me. Either way though I shouldn’t have acted like that. Thank you for what you did. It means a lot. I’ll repay you I promise”. You smile rubbing your thumb against his hand. “I forgive you. You don’t need to repay me, we worked for it. You were right though, it wasn’t my business”. He shakes his head, “I wasn’t right. I like you a lot. I’m stupid for not saying it before. I just didn’t know how to tell you about all my issues and thought I’d scare you off.”

You lean over kissing him on his cheek to soothe his obvious tension. “You can’t scare me off. And I really like you too. You can trust me with your secrets, but I’ll try not to meddle anymore if you don’t want to tell me.” Grabbing your arms to scoot you closer, he brings you in for another long and deep kiss. “Don’t worry. You can know all my secrets now,” he winks as he pulls his shirt off easing you back onto the bed. 

taglist in reblog, join in my bio

[luminousbeansarewe]

what are your takes/version of how the sequel trilogy went down? because i also have my own version in my head, not.... that, but im really interested in the ideas other people have had for it

hoo boy there’s a lot of ground to cover here lmao i will try to keep them as short as i can... i also enjoy multiple versions of events and outcomes for the sequels as long as they’re in-character so i’m not trying to say no other version of the sequels is good or cool bc only a sith deals in absolutes amirite? (i won’t apologize for that dumb joke.) first the jumping-off points:

first of all, i fully support Force-sensitive Finn. even if he didn’t become a full-blown Jedi, if the entire concept of the Jedi was reforged and we don’t see him become the kind of Jedi we saw in the prequels (more on that later), i see him as someone who was attuned to the Force in a way that is similar to how i conceive of Barriss; empathetic to the suffering and joy of others. this would drive him to defect from the Empire and fear it, too. i also saw him becoming a reluctant leader for the rebellion, and there’s a GREAT fic which i’ll link here that riffs on the idea that he creates a spark within the stormtrooper ranks and more and more of them begin to defect... which i love

Rey being a nobody is cool to me. the ONE character moment where she became super relatable for me was when she realized how frightened she was of her own Force abilities. but i don’t think she has to be the legacy of Palps to have that. she doesn’t need supercharged powers to be spooked by them in a post-Jedi Order world where the most recent memory anybody has of the Force is Vader. (also Rey being a Kenobi seems more out of character for Obi-Wan than anything else lol he was pretty committed to the ways of the Order even after they were destroyed, plus he already had one kid to furtively watch over... just imo). this also ties into my expansion on the Force.

Poe being not a carbon copy of Han. i think Leia looked after him, found him somehow after she sent Ben to the Jedi Academy and was a motherly figure in his life. i like the idea that he was a little shit, and she’s the one who taught him to turn his reactive defiance of authority into bravery when fighting for the rebels. i think he looked up to her, wanted to be a leader like her. i saw him in the position of generals like Akbar by the end, as he learns to balance risk-taking with steady leadership. I wanted to see that growth, how those leaders are formed, see Leia get to impart her wisdom to someone. (also i fully support Finn/Poe and Finn/Rey/Poe, i’m not a committed shipper so i’m down with no romance at all between them but those ships are choice af and Stormpilot is all Oscar Isaac wanted anyway, so...) plus can u imagine the dichotomy of Ben the fallen son with Poe, the “adopted” son who became what Ben couldn’t? the guilt of Leia for not knowing how to teach her son about the Force, doing better half-raising a nobody who had the same shitty attitude as Han when they met but no Force ability? THIS IS JUICY CHARACTER CONTENT

Rose was given cheesy lines to introduce an important topic: that fighting is all well and good but throwing away your principles defeats the purpose of the fight in the first place (an important theme in the Clone Wars era, too.) she was there to be the voice of the truly little people in the gffa, who we don’t hear much about in the other trilogies. Finn’s sensitivity puts him at risk of the sorrow-to-hate arc i described for Barriss; Rose is there to be the empathy that sustains hope rather than becomes a crushing weight. i love the idea that she might rally volunteers from blue-collar places (like... Lothal, for example?) and spearhead the notion that the New Republic should be very different from the old one, calling out the fact that working conditions didn’t change with the shift from republic to empire and the First Order simply took it to an extreme that left her and her sister with nothing else to lose.

Ben Solo, hoo boy. so here’s the thing, we don’t KNOW Ben Solo. we were expected to want him to be redeemed because he was the son of Han and Leia, and that’s it. that’s lazy as fuck. him killing Han in the first movie (if it happened it should have been in movie #2, that’s how fucking second acts work) was an excuse to shock people, subvert the ‘i can’t kill my own father’ thing, and make sure we knew he was “evil” even though we’re supposed to also want a redemption arc? you have to read the Rise of Kylo Ren comics to learn that he was a) hounded by the voice of Snoke in his head from childhood, manipulated by it, which is horrific bc it’s like grooming... or b) that he felt HUGE pressure as a legacy Force-user to save the galaxy, lead the New Jedi Order, etc. these are much more empathy-generating and we should have learned them in TFA. echoes of Anakin much? which is why i think him being redeemed in a way other than self-sacrifice (which made sense for Vader given his long history of being a terrible person, knowing it was too late for him in the end, and really just wanting to save his son rather than “become good again”) is more interesting than him just falling (which is too much the same as the prequels.)

it should have been Finn’s call, a moment of Truth that held the balance of Finn as either falling prey to darkness or learning forgiveness, whether or not Kylo got redeemed. Finn and Rey working together to get to that point while Rose and Poe took on the military aspect of the Big Finale would have been great. Finn with a lightsaber to Kylo’s throat, feeling the temptation to murder him instead of making him face what he’s become in a meaningful way? Rey trying to urge him away from darkness as she’s been tempted before, but this is the first time Finn’s really been tested, and he was the one who so often reminded her of her own humanity? Rey calling up Rose’s point of creating a new paradigm instead of recreating the old one, of Poe’s growth or Leia’s willingness to take Ben back showing it’s possible? shiiiiiiit

the rest is going under a cut!

SO... given those things as a basis...

there being no scene where Force-ghost Anakin bops Kylo on the head (but you know, more subtly and with gorgeous metaphor ofc) was a travesty. we needed some version of that, also imo that reaffirms that Anakin was the chosen one... as him redirecting his grandson away from that path would be restoring hella balance

Snoke should have had his own fucked up backstory, if he was even there at all. a dark sider fucking with Ben Solo is reasonable to me, but Snoke could have been someone who looked up to Palps as much as Kylo supposedly looked up to Vader. that would have been interesting... maybe there are multiple “nobodies” who are being touched by the Force, just like there always were in the prequels era, but some are going dark with no Jedi to try to convince them otherwise? or, maybe Snoke’s life was ruined by the Empire and he chose to become the beast that harmed him, whereas Kylo becomes the version where you think you want to do that but then realize that it’s just as bad and you still have empathy and regret what you’ve done?

Thrawn being the main military antagonist, since they couldn’t be arsed to make Hux into anything but a sniveling baby fascist (despite his really upsetting backstory of an abusive father, also found in the comics... noticing a trend here?). Thrawn was already established and beloved in the legends. why would you not use him. whY?? he’s like a foil for Tarkin. contention between him and the Force-users in charge (Snoke and Kylo) would have been VERY interesting, esp with the character of Thrawn in the new canon seeing the Empire as a ‘necessary evil’ and now maybe having the potential to make it into something else? how’s JOINING WITH THE NEW REPUBLIC for a subversion of the classic tropes, Rian?????? you fucker????

if Thrawn’s history is “too storied” for a bunch of cowards to "fit” into a new movie trilogy, invent another antivillain to take Thrawn’s place whose history is a little more concurrent with the sequel era... you cowards

Luke fucking off after his failure isn’t out of character IMO. he was THE STRONGEST JEDI EVER and his star pupil still fell? maybe he broke under the same pressure Ben did. maybe that’s what allows him to reach back out towards Kylo and reconnect, admitting his failure. i want to hear more about him cutting himself off from the Force bc i LOVE KOTOR 2 and Kreia, but maybe that’s too much for one trilogy to delve into meaningfully, i dunno

Han fucking off after Ben wrecked the temple isn’t OOC either. i think Han was always a little frightened of the Force, the way many non-sensitives are. I think he was critical as a father, because he was critical of himself and Han is the king of projection. i wanted more of the dysfunctional relationship between him and Ben.

if Kylo kills Han, the scene needs to show more of the fact that Kylo actually regretted it, which Snoke only alludes to in TLJ, foreshadowing his future. i rewrote Han’s death scene for a friend and got a lot of good feedback about it so maybe i’ll post it here sometime. i can get behind a version where he doesn’t die, too, i just haven’t fleshed it out in my own head.

i like the idea that the Jedi Order needed to be remade, and that Luke saw the failure of the old order when he saw Ben turn like so many of the Jedi in the Order did. i like that Rey and Finn might spearhead this, and maybe Kylo’s role is to know the dark side intimately enough now that he can actually teach how it works, how to deal with it... how inevitable its temptation is. because...

in this canon, i don’t think the Force has light or darkness. i think it’s Force-users who do. it is their internal landscapes which cause them to “fall” or be redeemed or not, after all. Finn can attest to the same, so can Rey and Luke... so like, all the Jedi need DBT therapy or something i guess. lmao hold the dialectic, you nerds

the Force has shown time and time again that it cannot be “balanced” so maybe it is ourselves who need to become balanced instead

the Force is chaos, a never-ending series of colliding butterfly effects that to us will always and inevitably be seen as turmoil, cause and effect on a cosmic scale. if you drink too greedily of its power, or try to exert total control over it, by its nature it will consume you because it is beyond your mortal ken. whatever you hunger for, the force will give you more and more of it until you are overwhelmed, drowning in it

this is why peace was a central teaching of the Jedi... peace, the antithesis of chaos, which can only ever be created from within, the eye of the storm which must be sought time and time again

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk? i’m always down to hear other people’s ideas for these characters tbh. and always down to get more into these topics if you want to know more... esp as it relates to the failure of the Jedi Order, or KOTOR 2 and Revan and Kreia, or OF COURSE my OCs because Sol has a very interesting relationship with the Force.

thank you for this ask lordimperius!! ^_^

[blooddrop-palace]

Im gonna ask for Kassy

(Whoops sorry this is super late! I forgot I had asks in my inbox from right before I got sick with the pandemic. Here you go, and thank you so much for your ask!)

B A S I C S

full name: Kassandra King

gender: Female

sexuality: Pansexual, but she leans towards wanting partners who would make a good father, so in terms of humans, she leans towards males. (Her entire family is prone to polyamory, so any additional partners need not be male.)

pronouns: She/Her

O T H E R S

family: She has a lot of family! Roy and Evan are her older half-brothers who are twins. Her mother June is now deceased, unfortunately. Her aunt Sage had a fight with the family and left for America before Kassy was born, so out in the states she has two cousins. Roy and Evan gets really cozy with a sweet witch named Lauren and so Kassy has seven nephews and nieces to love. (And yes, Lauren unabashedly sleeps with both of them, and they make a good family unit.) And there’s Kassy’s own daughter, Snow! Oh, and Lance/Aegis is technically her family, too. She’s something more than twelve generations down from him though, whereas Roy and Evan are directly new hybrids from him.

birthplace: Kassy, like all of the children of Lance’s nest, was born in the manor on the island he is chained to. Now that birth certificates have to be a thing, though, her listed birthplace is in Hong Kong.

job: Devil Hunter, though her “day job” is pole and strip dancing at a very fancy VIP strip club that is visited by a lot of the underground connections.

phobias: Kassy doesn’t have any extreme fears, but she is a very protective mama and auntie. The idea of hurt children torments her, and actual hurt children will make her very very mad.

guilty pleasures: Sex. Well, sex toys, because Dante “wrecked” her and no one else will ever be good enough. So during the time she wasn’t with him, she put her toy box to good use. And her favorite toys are always the big ones.

M O R A L S

morality alignment?: Neutral I guess? Her family does work with the underground groups such as the black market, the mafia, and triads. It’s a necessity. They attract most of the demonic attention, and the family needs the connection for birth certificates and the likes. The government knows a bit about them and is frankly scared of them, mistakenly believing they hold all the power over all of the underground crime scene because “when something goes wrong down there, the King Family cleans it up.”

sins - lust, pride, envy. The devil traits manifested in her are succubus traits, so bodily pleasures are something of a necessity for her. Her entire family runs on pride, and she envies people who can live freely, because as a part-devil she cannot mingle normally.

virtues - charity, kindness, justice. Though much of their wealth comes from “dubious” means... as in, charging underground bosses exorbitant amounts to clean up demon messes, she is still charitable with it. Just not in a lot of actual charity, because her family is careful about where they leave their marks. She likes to give gifts, especially with food, because she hates to see people go hungry. Much of that has to do with her kindness, too, and in her own way, it is a form of justice. When she travels, she known to visit homeless shelters or soup kitchens and drop off a ton of groceries. (And there was the one time she paid off Dante’s pizza tab and left extra money for him for food.)

T H I S - O R - T H A T

introvert/extrovert: more on the introverted side, though she is not opposed to interacting with people. She’s a learned introvert because she has to hide who she is.

organized/disorganized: organized but not to a fault. Her demands for others is usually “no tripping hazards” and “don’t leave food out where it can fester” but otherwise just be mindful of your stuff.

close minded/open-minded: I would say she’s open minded. She’s especially open minded about sex.

calm/anxious: easily anxious, her anxiety is the number one thing that made her doubt Dante would like to hear from her about her pregnancy, and she spent the next two decades never contacting him, thinking she didn’t deserve him anyway.

disagreeable/agreeable: a very agreeable person, especially towards people she loves. She has her moments of stubbornness though.

cautious/reckless: being an ambusher, she leans more towards cautious.

patient/impatient: patient, as with her nature as an ambusher.

outspoken/reserved: a little bit of both. She knows how to play a sexy role, but outside of that she’s shy.

leader/follower: follower, which was a bit of a problem because she’s supposed to be the “Queen” of the family. But Roy took care to help her with that. He’s the reason Kassy can afford her freedom, though by the end of the day, due to the specific devil’s blood that runs through their veins, Roy can never go against the Queen’s word when Kassy gets seriously stubborn about something. 

empathetic/unemphatic: absolutely empathetic. She took one look at Dante’s state of living after a single night in bed with him and ordered him food and left extra money for later.

optimistic/pessimistic: She’s supposed to be optimistic, but in the situation where she considers her chances with her love interest, she tends to think pessimistically.

traditional/modern: she’s more adapted to the modern!

hard-working/lazy: mostly hard working, especially where her family is concerned.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: Kassy x Dante! (There is one scenario of Kassy x Vergil I have tho.)

ot3: Though I stated she’s poly, I don’t see her with both Dante and Vergil, nor do I see those boys easily sliding into poly after all the stuff they’ve been through, so no ot3 for Kassy here. The circumstances in which she meets them in simply doesn’t make this the best option for her or them.

brotp: she will adore Seraphina! (And unabashedly trade sex tips with her, making Sera feel embarrassed.)

notp: Hmm... bring an OC I don’t have a lot of candidates for notp for her save for she has no untoward interest in her brothers.

[thattimdrakeguy]

Robin - The FIRST Miniseries - Issue #5 (The LAST Issue) Review - (R.I.P Tom Lyle)

This is the big movie styled climax of the miniseries. So its mostly just endings, and action from here, but that doesn’t mean there’s not fantastic character work in here either.

There’s a LOT in this issue I didn’t remember, since normally I don’t pay attention to this one simply because I didn’t remember as much character stuff in it, but to my slight surprise (and bigger surprise in one or two moments) there’s some stuff in here I didn’t quite remember.

The weirdo trio finally breaks up in a way that reminds me of a divorce of some kind.

In a way Clyde and Lady Shiva played the roles of Tim’s parental figures in this miniseries. So that is fitting in it’s own way.

Clyde argues that Timmy shouldn’t be a part of this. Partially for his own want to kill King Snake (Dorrance) himself, but also because he wants to protect Tim’s innocence given the gruesome nature of what’s about to go down.

While Lady Shiva is absolutely numb to violence, and if anything wants Tim to be like her and revel in it.

Some of the word usage and Tim’s reaction to Clyde running off really set this up to a bizarre version of a divorce. It’s a slight soul cracker seeing Tim so worried that Clyde’s leaving to the point he yells out “CLYDE! WAIT!”. In the panel were Lady Shiva holds him back, he looks like such a helpless kid.

It’s a wee bit more emotional then it has any right to be given this trio only lasted 3 issues or so.

But, the climatic action must begin.

--

Tim uses his established cleverness to give the team some kind of advantage against what’s more or less an armed militia of men ready to protect King Snake and his drug empire.

With some small, but still tense moments.

And Timmy, of course, being on sneaky time.

This is one babyfaced boy that loves his sneaky time.

There’s even a good page that’s a good reminder that Tim isn’t the best fighter on the planet, but that he does his best given any opportunity he can.

--

A good chunk of this issue though, and deserving enough too. Is Clyde trying to get his revenge against King Snake for all he’s done.

It’s genuinely tense even if it is just a one time side character in this fight.

Because this has been building up between him and the bad guy since issue two. He is the emotional connection between the heroes and the main big villain. It’s for the best he’s the one that gets to take him on first compared to if Lady Shiva or Tim did it.

He’s the one that deserves this fight the most. Even if King Snake is too much.

While Tim’s too preoccupied stopping the plague from spreading and making sure he doesn’t get killed himself. Tim isn’t skilled enough to get out of the situation fast enough. He’s helpless to help his own friend.

Tim has no idea whats even happening to Clyde as he keeps having to run to his own safety.

All Tim can do, is his best. He sticks to the rafters to be sneaky. Uses the tools he knows he can use like his sling, and that’s just about it. Which continues to use his established skill-set instead of giving him sudden Gary Stu moment were he’s suddenly good at everything.

He’s lucky he’s small enough to even hide up there.

--

I know I been talking spoilers this whole time, but after this part. This contains-

MAJOR SPOILERS. 

So read at your own risk, because this is the climatic issue and stuff happens.

So the big crushing part about this issue. Is that the last time Timmy Drake ever got to see Clyde Rawlings still alive, breathing, and blood pumping through his body was when Clyde ran to come to this fight.

The last thing Tim ever heard Clyde said was “RIGHT NOW!” and the last thing Clyde ever got hear Timmy’s voice say is “CLYDE! WAIT!” that’s the last they ever got to hear each other, because the next time Tim finds Clyde’s body it shows he’s already been killed by King Snake.

At this point it’s literally just this tiny little boy in red and green spandex vs a tanking man (with a freaking mullet) that’s supposedly one of the most dangerous men.

There isn’t a Lady Shiva in sight to save him, and Clyde’s not around anymore. Tim’s all alone, and the two people that have been protecting them this whole time are either gone in one way or gone in another way.

It’s all up to Timmy now.

And for the most part he doesn’t do good, because of course he doesn’t. He’s not a good fighter. He’s a tricky scamp with a sling and staff. Against the One of World’s Most Dangerous Men.

King Snake mocks Tim’s notable innocence.

Luckily though, Tim’s a clever boy, and finds a way to distract King Snake, before he can kill him or destroys him too badly. Thanks to Lady Shiva teaching Tim to his enemies underrating him to his own advantage.

Also right before Timmy absolutely wrecks him with one big, hit, that’s the biggest Tim can get out of his very teeny body.

This is when Lady Shiva shows up, and we get another scene representing Tim’s morals, because it’s a spot were King Snake should be knocked off the building, but he managed to get one solid grip on the scaffolding.

Even to the very last issue the character’s remain strong as ever. With constant reminders during their fights of who they are.

Clyde was so stuck on vengeance and anger, even if he wanted to try his best to protect Tim.

Lady Shiva, while calmer, doesn’t care about other people. She’s empathetic to her own fault.

Tim’s just the Boy Scout doing his best to stand up for what he was taught as right.

So what does Tim do in this Emperor Palpatine “DEW IT” moment?

What do you think? He’s such a good boy. He’s no Anakin Skywalker. This is a Luke Skywalker (Original Trilogy anyways), baby.

There’s some hard to watch panels though. Some stuff that actually made me a bit emotional reading this stuff.

Where Tim carries Clyde’s corpse because he’s not leaving him behind. Even when it causes Tim physical pain given he has a busted rib as he does it.

Tim could’ve easily left Clyde’s body behind for the police to find but he didn’t.

Clyde’s still on his mind and who can blame him. This is the dude that protected him this whole time even when he jumped in to protect him.

Tim tries to figure out what this all was for, because it starts to drag on him.

There’s even a surprisingly dark moment were Tim goes into the mindset of getting some payback, but of course, because he’s Timmy. He backs off of it because he realizes it was wrong. Showing that even when stuff goes wrong, Tim still has a sense of morality in him.

It’s stuff that really weighs down on Tim as the issue closes, because this was Tim’s first real adventure, and as it ends there was a lot of stuff he probably never wanted to be a witness too.

Probably some regrets carrying in his brain.

He starts to wonder what it’s all about as the miniseries and his adventure comes to an end.

--

So this was honestly a pretty good climatic issue even if it gets massively grim towards the end to a degree I wasn’t expecting.

Tim’s ongoing series touched grimness in the 90s, but it never went to this level or had such soul crushing visuals like Tim carrying the man who protected him on his back even with a busted rib.

Or contemplating physical payback against the person who caused him being dragged into all of this but backing off.

Like his ongoing series (where I fell in love with him) was a lot more lighthearted after this. So this isn’t the typical tone Tim carries. Even before this, it was just a soft action romp with character moments.

A lot of this caught me by surprise, because since I skip to Tim’s parts and the action didn’t take me away like other scenes, I didn’t even realize Clyde freaking died in this issue.

How did I not realize that?

I don’t even have a clue how, but in a way, it made it better for this review, because I’m more in tune with how a first time reader might react to it.

It’s a grim ending to a good miniseries.

The miniseries biggest flaws is having creepy girl characters who’s creepiness either feels out of character or not expanded upon to make it feel like it has a point, and moments that don’t go anywhere, with a really lame villain. Such a super lame villain.

However it’s character moments, character work for Tim, pacing, art, and sense of adventure still makes it a really good read. Even if compared to others it’s still a low-key adventure.

If you really wanna learn about Tim’s character. It’s a definitive recommend, because it’s a great character study for him. Through his goodie two shoes boyscout moments, his geeky moments, his awkward moments, to even his immature moments, and a rare dark moment from early Tim, but even that dark moment showed that in the end, Tim’s still gonna do what’s right, and not go too far.

I love reading the miniseries when I’m bored, because even if it’s typically just the first issue or two I read. I just love Tim, and I like to be reminded why.

He’s such a bean that’s trying his best to be heroic. You get a real sense of depth with the character that wasn’t seen by a Robin that was still Batman’s sidekick till this.

Dick had depth, but it wasn’t till he split with Batman that he got it.

With Tim he was the first Robin that was still Batman’s sidekick that could carry depth, and this is were you get it.

It’s the full show of Tim as a character from all sides.

It’s great that way.

I’m thinking of reviewing his next miniseries next just because reading this captured my spark for Tim in a brighter way then it has been after all the dullness of his current life as a character being misused time and time again sort of dragged on me.

With this, I get what I want even if there’s a bit of dirt on it. It’s a good read for a Tim fan, or someone that wants to learn about who he is just to include him in a fan fiction.

It’s a great feeling to remember just how fantastic Tim used to be.

I still hope DC brings back the old Tim eventually.

[wineds]

count your blessings

i wrote another edwin fic! you can also read it here. i hope you enjoy! <3

Summary: 

“I’d like to ask for your permission to ask your granddaughter to marry me.”

Pinako smiled. She had always known that this day would come.

Today was the day.

Ed tightened his ponytail and attempted to brush down the wrinkles in his shirt. This was it.

It was the perfect opportunity. He had bribed Al with the last piece of apple pie to accompany Winry to the grocery in his place, giving him a chance to finally talk to Granny alone.

He was a wreck. Al had told him constantly that there was no need to be. “She wouldn’t say no,” Al attempted to reassure his older brother. “You’re thinking too much into this.” He probably was, but if there was any point in his life to overthink, it was this one.

After the Promised Day, Ed constantly wondered about the state of his relationship with Winry. What would they be now? Dating? Lovers? Still just friends?

After some awkward flirting, flustered bickering, and small but evident signs of affection, Ed had determined one thing.

He was head over heels in love with Winry Rockbell, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

There were just a few obstacles in the way. The first being the possibility of Winry saying no and completely breaking whatever composure he still had.

The other was a singular old fashioned tradition.

A blessing.

Ed didn’t want to ask. Not because he was sure that Pinako would say no, but because he had no idea what he would do if she said no. What if she spit in his face, saying “you really think you’re handsome, intelligent, strong and TALL enough to marry MY granddaughter?” And then she would tell Winry and they would both laugh about it until his dying day (he was certain that Pinako would outlive them all), and then he would have to go to Xing with Al and look at Ling’s stupid face for the rest of his life.

Despite the anxiety, this had to be done. He and Al were leaving for their travels the day after tomorrow, and if he could, he wanted to come back and marry Winry.

So Ed took a deep breath, and emerged from his room.

Walking to the kitchen, he saw Pinako drinking a cup of tea and reading the newspaper.

Oh boy, here we go. “Hey Granny,” Ed started, sitting in the chair across from her. “Do you have a second?”

The grandmother put down her newspaper, giving the former alchemist her undivided attention. “Sure, Ed. Is everything alright?”

“U-U-Um,” Ed stuttered, all of a sudden losing his nerve. “W-Well there’s just a s-s-small thing I wanted to ask you about. Nothing t-too bad. Well hopefully you won’t see it as bad, but who know-”

“Ed calm down,” Pinako demanded. “Should I be nervous?”

“No!” Ed hastily replied. “I am, a little, maybe a lot, but you shouldn’t be.”

“Just spit it out boy,” Pinako snapped. She had an article about aeroplane dynamics to read about.

“Okay,” Ed took a deep breath. “I’ll just say it.” He looked Pinako straight in the eyes, his hands clasped together.

“I’d like to ask for your permission to ask your granddaughter to marry me.”

Pinako smiled. She had always known that this day would come.

“Really?” Pinako asked, not at all attempting to hide how not surprised she was.

“Look,” Ed started. “I know that we’re both still very young, and Winry is still growing as a mechanic and going for her license, and Al and I are leaving tomorrow for who knows how long, and that this may be a horrible time to bring the idea of marriage up.”

“But I love her, Granny,” Ed continued. “I really do, and I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. I’ve never been so sure of something in my entire life. Winry may turn me down, and then this can be something you two laugh about until the end of time, but I have to try, Granny.”

Pinako almost snorted but held it in. Ed looked so serious. Did he really think there was a chance that Winry would turn him down?

She had always predicted that Winry would fall for one of the Elric brothers. For a little while she had hoped it would be Alphonse; Ed reminded her so much of Hohenheim, and she refused to let her precious granddaughter suffer how Trisha did.

But as Winry grew up, so did Ed. He became more empathetic, caring, kind, and developed into the wonderful young man she knew he had the potential to be; she was so glad that he had reached that potential.

Now that young man was sitting here, asking for his granddaughter’s hand.

She was a bit internally conflicted. No one was good enough for Winry. But she loved Ed like he were her own grandson. She had seen the looks they casted each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking, the blushes, the brushes of their fingers, the lingering gazes on each other’s lips. They were young, but deeply in love.

And who was she to get in the middle of that?

Pinako got up from her seat, walking over to the window. “You do know what this means, don’t you Ed? Marriage isn’t the same as dating, it’s a big commitment.”

Ed breathed in. “I know.”

“You two are barely even dating. Are you really ready to take a step this large?”

“Yes, I am.”

“There is a chance that things won’t work out, that you two may have to split up.”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“You two may have children. Will you be ready to step up and be a good father when that time comes?”

Ed blushed. “Yes, of course I will.”

Pinako walked over to his seat, looking him straight in the eyes. “Do you promise to take care of her?”

Ed’s gaze was just as intense, but a bit rattled. “Yes. I swear on my life.”

Pinako held her gaze for a bit longer, before ruffling Ed’s hair.

“Hey!” Ed protested, trying to maneuver away from her touch.

“Of course you have my permission,” Pinako smiled fondly. “Just wanted to play with you a bit.”

“You’re EVIL woman!” Ed snapped, before his expression softened. “Thank you, Granny.”

“Sure,” she replied, grabbing her pipe and making her way to the front yard.

She inhaled and exhaled the tobacco, deep in thought. Her granddaughter was growing up. Her last baby, her pride and joy. Knowing the two of them, they’d be wed within the year. Ed never was the patient type and Winry has been patiently waiting for so long. She knew they would last. She had seen couples come together and break apart throughout all her years, but these two had a respect, devotion, and love for each other like she had never seen.

They would be okay. And happy. Eternally.

That was all she could hope for them.

Her trance was broken when she saw two figures walking up to the house.

“Hey Granny we’re back!” Al exclaimed. “They were having a sale on potatoes, so Winry is going to make that really good potato soup tonight!”

“Without onions,” Winry added. “For two of the more bottomless pits I’ve ever met, these boys can be quite picky.”

Ed emerged from the doorway. “Welcome back!”

Al looked at Ed in question. Ed nodded.

A large grin broke out across Al’s face and he dropped the grocery bags to embrace Winry.

“Al?!” Winry exclaimed, puzzled and bewildered. “What is this?! You made me drop the canned green beans!”

Al laughed, hugging her tighter.

Ed grinned, Al’s happiness contagious, interlinking with his own. He walked over to them, joining in on the embrace.

“What is up with you two?!” Winry snapped, as the two brothers continued with their group hug, cackling excitedly.

Winry looked over to Pinako for help, but she shook her head, looking fondly upon the scene before going back inside.

Before she completely left the scene, she caught a glimpse as Ed’s golden eyes looked fondly upon Winry’s peaches and cream complexion.

They would make beautiful children.

[demenior]

End of the Year Fic Review

Stats:

List of Fics Posted:

Castle of Glass (17823 words) [Gen, non-main character relationships]

Royally Screwed (44222 words) [NSFW, Shiro/Prince Rahjim]

Killer Queen (8994 words) [NSFW, Allura/Shiro/Coran]

Paint a Smile on and Colour Me In (13865 words) [NSFW, Shiro/Prince Rahjim]

The Dog Days (Have Just Begun) (14995 words) [Gen, Shiro/Ulaz]

In Need (2629 words) [NSFW, Shiro/Ulaz]

In Loving Memory (1680 words) [Gen, Shiro/Ulaz]

Endlessly (10128 words) [Gen, Shiro/Ulaz]

A Crisis in Your Eyes (6401 words) [Gen, Shiro/Ulaz]

I'll Find You (11583 words) [Gen, no pairings]

New Born (7084 words) [Gen, no pairings]

Lay To Waste (41303 words) [Gen, no pairings]

Keep Them Galra Rollin (Rawhide) (1377 words) [Gen, no pairings]

Dirty Talk (4596 words) [NSFW, Shiro/Prince Rahjim]

as the lion loves the lamb (3986 words) [Gen, no pairings]

Satisfied (6350 words) [NSFW, Shiro/Ulaz]

Sunset in Reverse (41544 words) [Gen, no pairings]

My Body's Got You Pleading (49007 words) [NSFW, Shiro/Ulaz, Shiro/the entire BoM]

Total number: 18 Total word count: 287567

Ship/character breakdown: Ship breakdown:

Uliro - 7 Fics Shiro/OC - 4 Fics No Ship - 7 Fics Rahjiro - 4 Fics (I’m counting KQ)

Gen vs NSFW Breakdown (for my own curiosity):

Gen - 11 fics NSFW - 7 fics

While I wrote a huge amount of NSFW this year... general/not NSFW won out!

Characters that had the main focus:

is this really a question we need to ask

SPECIFICS:

Best/worst title? Best title:  Lay to Waste or Sunset in Reverse.  L2W is from the Linkin Park song ‘In Pieces’. 

‘there’s truth in your lies / doubt in your faith / what you build you lay to waste’ 

and it’s just such a haunting, mournful and foreboding sentence that it gives me chills. It’s powerful and I love it. Plus, paired with the tagline that was added to Shiro’s character profile (’when you have skeletons in your closet, you hope they stay dead’) it fits the theme of the story, in that everything Shiro knows and believes about himself is beginning to crumble as his past catches up to him. SiR does exactly what the fic intends to do: take something dark and turn it around. It evokes hope. The title is the same as the song by Crash Parallel (a super unknown Canadian band), though the song and the fic aren’t quite thematically similar.

(Special shoutout to Royally Screwed because I was having the time of my life and it’s hilarious)

Worst title:  In Loving Memory or Dirty Talk. They’re boring.

Best/worst first line?

I’m not a big believer in ‘Incredible First Lines’ as I believe you should always start as close to the action as possible, so a lot of my beginnings feel abrupt. That being said, there’s this gem that no one noticed the HUGE joke.

Lay to Waste:  

Hidden away in the recesses of the Kaskada System, deep in the thick jungles of an unoccupied moon, is a glimmer of hope.

[Kaskada...... as in.... Cascada.... as in.... every time we touch]

Best/worst last line?

I’m a firm believer in wham lines to end stories, so I have a lot that were good contenders, but as the lion loves the lamb takes the cake:

The Black Lion calls at his heels, I love you.

Keith wonders how long it will be until it loves him enough to consume him.

I love you for being mine.

GENERAL QUESTIONS:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted? Holy shit I’ve never written this much in my LIFE.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? Voltron. Uliro didn’t exist until this year, really. Not to mention the whole Shiro/OC thing. I’ve always purposefully avoided OC’s, and then I went and hooked them up with the main character!! For 100k!!!!!!!! What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest. Lay to Waste is me finally continuing the Switch the Beat series, which is my favorite concept I’ve ever created for fandom. I got to expand the world of the series, I got to work with an AMAZING artist (shoutout to @gitwrecked ) and I got to set the series in motion. Lots of scenes in L2W are scenes I’ve been dreaming about writing for months leading up to actually putting them to paper.

as the lion loves the lamb was a WILD ride in playing with a completely different style. I like everything linear, sufficiently explained (almost to the point of beating the dead horse) and as the lion is the exact opposite of that. While most of my ‘horror’ writing is blatant, this fic was an experiment in creating a mood, and I think I did really well by that.

Okay, NOW your most popular story. By kudos: Royally Screwed By comments: My Body’s Got You Pleading Story most underappreciated by the universe? Crisis in Your Eyes for the content- the whole idea of Shiro realizing Ulaz is someone morally repulsive to him, but still being in love with him??? Ahhh, i love it.

or, Endlessly. It’s my only fic outside of the Switch series that features my Galra redesign, and so it’s really grossly self-indulgent. But the redesign is close to my heart, and I think it adds a really interesting angle to Shiro and Ulaz’s relationship to be such starkly different species.  Story that could have been better? New Born. I hammered it out so fast I barely thought, but I think I could have made things a little tighter to be more ambiguous for [the surviving] Shiro AND the reader. Sexiest story? it’s a toss-up between Royally Screwed and My Body’s Got You Pleading. 40k of Shiro getting wrecked by 1 alien with 4 arms, or 40k of Shiro getting wrecked by 15 different Galra?? It’s up to you. Saddest story? I think a lot of my fics are inherently tragic, even if they’re not sad sad. One tearjerker is In Loving Memory, so there’s that. 

I think New Born or A Crisis in Your Eyes are HUGE tragedies on the big scale. One is about a person losing all sense of their place in the world, the other is about being in love with someone you can’t accept, and the story leaves right as Shiro’s entering that moral debate with himself.

Sunset in Reverse isn’t finished yet, but it’s SUPER sad if only because we’re seeing the outcome of a Shiro who wasn’t saved and instead had to endure years of torture and pain. I think it’s empathetic-ly sad, because we feel sad based on how Shiro in this story cannot react to anything in a healthy, ‘normal’ kind of way, and we hurt just imagining how he got that way.

Most fun? ROYALLY SCREWED. Rahjim is such a delight, and the response and feedback were so much fun!!! I’ve never enjoyed writing a fic so much in my LIFE.

To be fair My Body is also a really fun story. Story with single sweetest moment? oh my gooodddd, um, there’s A Lot.

Royally Screwed - The intimate emotional moments between Rahjim and Shiro kill me. Especially at the end, the morning after, when they’re walking around holding hands and enjoying being physically close because it’s contrasted sharply with how just a few hours ago they were complete strangers. That moment when Shiro says ‘i love you’ back to Rahjim :’)

My Body’s Got You Pleading - Ulaz’s Proposal at the end of the fic.

Sunset in Reverse - Chapter 1 where Champion discovers his soft blanket and cries over seeing stars again. It’s kind of bittersweet because he was abused so long that this sort of thing brings him to tears, but he’s just so happily overwhelmed by how soft the blanket is that it’s an image that stays with me.

Dog Days (Have Just Begun) - This exchange:

“Khazav, then,” Ulaz says.

Shiro mumbles the name. It sounds nice.

“Is that a boy or girl name?” he asks, keeping his eyes closed.

“Why do humans gender everything?” Ulaz responds, and Shiro shrugs weakly.

“It’s neither,” Ulaz offers, after a moment.

“Then it’s a girl's name,” Shiro decides, and he’s practically asleep so he’s beyond incoherent when he mumbles, “looks like we have a baby girl.”

Hardest story to write? as the lion, is only because it was different. but it came out pretty smoothly. i keep hitting motivation blocks for Killer Queen. Sunset in Reverse is one I find difficult to write, only because it requires so many rewrites and edits to make sure each chapter is up to standard.

Easiest/most fun story to write? Royally Screwed. It flowed out of me. Rahjim and Shiro’s journey was a delight to the point it almost felt obsessive. I just loved having the two of them joking around, laughing and then feeling good too. It was absolute indulgence for me and I just wrote exactly what I wanted Shiro to go through in order to eventually open up and trust someone, and I got to have fun creating a guy like Rahjim who could encourage that openness in Shiro.

[My Body was fun for similar reasons. I love Shiro sleeping w Lorge Aliens, so it was all pure self indulgence]

Lay to Waste was incredibly easy too, as I had 80% of the fic outlined and written in my head by the time I started writing. L2W was written in just under 2 weeks. 

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters? A Crisis In Your Eyes was really fun to explore Ulaz as a character.

I’ll Find You was the first time I’ve really gotten into Pidge’s head, which was an experience after spending so long writing Shiro. 

Most overdue story? Killer Queen.... it’s a smut story and they haven’t even had sex yet.....

Also Paint a Smile On, as it’s a prompt fic from when I hit 700. I’ve only filled one.... and I’m so embarrassed... 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I started writing NSFW fics this year!!! As in, nsfw for sex. As a reader, I’ve always enjoyed my smut fics, but never thought I’d write them cause I thought I had nothing to add to the collection of smut fics. Apparently I was wrong, haha.

Not to mention I wrote several OC-heavy stories this year. I came into fandom during the Mary Sue Witch Hunts, and defs internalized that main-character-OC’s Are Bad, and that you NEVER, EVER pair an OC w a main character. I broke both of those rules this year, and I’ve never had such amazing responses!

Rahjim is by and above a breakout character for my writing. He has fans, fanart, and may possibly start showing up in fics that I myself am not writing!!!

Stylistically: like I said before, as the lion loves the lamb was a big style experiment. Sunset in Reverse is also very different because it’s very much NOT action focused, as most of my stories are. It’s what’s happening after the action.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Less 50k monsters. More short fics. Catch up on all the prompts I said I’d do.

Overall I’d be happy writing the same amount, but I want to clip through my stories faster. I feel like I drag out a lot of my ideas, which is how I plan a 5k story and end up with 50k. I’m still working on finding the happy medium so I can tell all the stories I want to tell, with less strain on me. Half of my fics this year were over 10k, which has resulted in a LOT of wips on the go. I don’t like that.

I’ve got a few deadline events right off the bat at the end of february, and then I want to get another Switch series story out. Or maybe 2. 

Tagging:

@queenvallkyrie @krakendra @sassafrassrex uuuhhhhhh any other fic writers out there who wanna do this!!!!

[my-chemical-friendzone]

Threes a Crowd: Book v Episode

Hello~! So recently I bought the novelization of Three’s a Crowd, and I just wanted to share some points and quotes that I thought were interesting :D There were also quite a few differences between the show and the book! Nothing big, but at least notable. 

First of all let me just say this book is THIN LMAO. I was maybe expecting a bit more girth, but it didn’t disappoint either way.

*In the beginning of the book there’s actually two or so pages dedicated to introducing the characters, and let me just say that the pictures they have of the 3D models (the same ones you see on the show) are crystal clear! I don’t know, it might just be me, but because the show does use certain textures, it can be hard to see small details on clothing and backgrounds. But the book doesn’t have the textures in the beginning pages and I was just impressed by how clear and smooth everyone looked (I finally saw that YES Pepper doesn’t have a tooth gap LOL). The rest of the images in the book have a sort of Photoshop filter on them, and they’re either from the episode or an edit of character models. Just wanted to mention that, but I digress. 

Jane’s rage: I know that my girl Jane is pretty angry and hotheaded (which I love because bitch me too LOL), but the book really adds to that level of rage in a more specific way. There’s a couple quotes here I really liked:

“Dragon and Gunther fell to the ground in a fit of hysterics. Even Rake started to laugh. But he stopped when he saw Jane’s expression, the one she reserved for naughty children and animals.” /Jane doesn’t like animals it seems? Only Dragon presumably./

“Jane glared at him. ‘It is. How did you know?’” 

“[Dragon] ‘Because you hands are on your hips. And you always put your hands on your hips when you are going to be boring and serious. You get it from your mother.’”

“‘I do not!’ But he was right. Her hands were crunched into fists and planted on her hips. Exactly like her mother.” /Dragon comparing Jane to her mother was--I think--the biggest burn he has ever made LOL. But I think we all knew that Jane was actually very much like her mother in a way./

[Scene after Merchant tricks Jane’s dad to pay more for work he isn’t going to do] ”Watching this horrible man cheat her father made Jane’s blood boil. Sometimes she wished she could break the law rather than uphold it. Just for once she would like to use her big green friend to teach this greedy bog weevil a lesson.” /I found this incredibly interesting! Because Jane is so hellbent on being honorable and just, but she gets angry to the point of wanting to throw all of that out the window and even use Dragon to threaten someone. It’s very human of her, and I like that a lot./

[After Gunther & Magnus discuss using Dragon for their chores] “Watching from her hiding place, Jane bubbled with anger. She could hardly believe it. No, that wasn't true. It was very easy to believe. She had never trusted Gunther.” /It’s funny to me how Jane can kind of not see that Gunther is somewhat hesitant to use Dragon? And he doesn’t really want to, and only does it because his dad persuades him to do it. But Gunther is also not trustworthy in general. But I’ll touch on this later too./

Pepper’s quote: Speaking of Gunther ~ There’s this small quote from Pepper when she’s talking with Jane in the kitchen that I thought was very telling. 

“Gunther needs good friends, Jane. He has a rough time with that father of his.” /OK FIRST OF ALL--MY HOME GIRL. LOOK AT HER LOOKING OUT FOR MY SON IN THIS WAY. MY EMOTIONS. SHAKEN. But no seriously--what? In the book it seems like everyone kind of knows that Gunther is being abused by his father. I know they make a reference to it in the show, but it’s in the very ‘ha ha’ joking kind of way. But the way Pepper says it in context, it sounds like she feels sympathy for Gunther. Which is bizarre because she’s probably one of the characters that’s gotten the fewest words exchanged with him. But I think it goes to show that not only is Pepper a very empathetic character, who’s more insightful than she leads on, but also that Gunther’s problem may be a village known matter. But no one is really doing anything about it (then again, it’s the Middle Ages so it’s not like anyone can or would do anything regarding the matter). Or perhaps they all just assume that Gunther is just overworked by his father, who also happens to be a big douche, but they don’t exactly suspect abuse per-se. They seem to make references to Gunther working a lot, but don’t really go beyond that. It’s very nuanced. Also, GUNTHER NEEDS GOOD FRIENDS./

Magnus & Gunther: I think the most surprising thing about reading the book was seeing how blatant Magnus’ abuse of Gunther was. In the show it’s far more discreet, but in the book Gunther is simply terrified of his dad! Magnus’ tone is also much harsher, not just his quiet, disapproving voice. 

“’Put your back into it, you lazy lump!’ Gunther’s father slammed the side of his wagon with a thick fist.”

“’Father, must all these barrels go today? I have duties at the castle.’

The Merchant scowled at him. ‘Your first duty is to me. Now get on with it!’”

[Gunther to Dragon] “’Go away,’ he whispered. ‘I’m busy. I still have to park the wagon around back and...and...Father will punish me if he finds you here.’” /holy hell/ 

“But Dragon ignored him. He flew over the house and disappeared.

Gunther shrank back as his father turned and fixed his anger on him. 

‘What did I tell you? That overgrown worm is nothing but a thief!’

Gunther began to apologize. But...” 

“Dragon watched him go and nudged Gunther. ‘So, what’s big and sulky and walks like a frog?’

‘Shhh, he can hear you,’ whispered Gunther. ‘Come on, I should go before he finds more jobs for me.’ /FFFFFFFFFFFF. This broke my heart because in the show Gunther actually snickers at the joke and elbows Dragon and I really love that moment but in the book he’s so freakin terrified that he can’t even bring himself to try to laugh!/ 

AND THEN THERE’S THIS LINE

“He [Magnus] slammed the door behind him. Gunther watched Dragon drop out of sight over the castle walls.

‘If only I could fly off like that,’ he thought.”

Gunther & Dragon: Gunther and Dragon are actually a lot meaner to Jane in the book! In the show they were actually NICE I’d say x’D Jane didn’t deserve half of the sass Gunther and Dragon gave her. Tbh Gunther did deserve to have his ass beat by her in the novelization. 

“’Wait for me,’ she yelled, hurrying to catch them. ‘I want to hear your jokes.’ 

Gunther dismissed her with a snort. ‘I doubt it, Jane. That would take a sense of humor, The last time I looked, yours had been stolen by villains.’” /Jane proceeds to make some very bad jokes. I cringed/ 

“‘A royal turd!’ said Jane.

‘Is that it?’ asked Dragon.

Gunther grinned and shook his head sadly.” /icri/

[Gunther to Jane after she threatens to expose him] “’Yes, Jane. What have you come to tell him? Another joke perhaps? A funny one this time? Oh, wait; I know. Tell Dragon the joke about the girl with egg on her face.’” /there’s a lot more of Jane getting wrecked in this book, from the both of them OTL/

Then Janther bants (BECAUSE I JUST HAVE TO): 

“’A poo-doll. Get it Jane?’ Gunther whispered so Sir Theodore wouldn't hear. ‘Oh wait. I forgot. You have no funny bone do you?”

‘I have plenty of bones, Gunther,’ she whispered back at him. ‘And right now all of them are waiting to dance rings around you. Are you ready for a whipping?’ /winks/

‘Now that really is a joke,’ hissed Gunther.”

“‘Is that the best you can do, Jane?’

‘No Gunther. I would never waste my best moves on you. But then I never have to.’“

Jane winning the fight: Jane doesn’t win the fight the way she does in the show. She actually ends up tripping Gunther after she’s got the advantage! Which is so unlike her but also just savage as hell LMAO.

“And with that she advanced, delivering a flurry of steady blows. Gunther was forced backwards, He managed a counter-move, lunging at Jane. But he overreached. Jane saw her chance. She sidestepped. Gunther lost his balance as Jane stuck out a foot to trip him headfirst into the dirt. 

‘Gunther. How can I keep scoring points if you lie around down there?’”

/RIP Gunther. You left the way you came./

Jane’s apology: Since we never actually got to see it in the show, here it is!

[She’s rehearsing it to Jester first] “’Gunther I have behaved badly. And not in the best tradition of the Knight's Code.’ She paused to check on Jester’s reaction. Her friend raised an eyebrow and said nothing. Jane carried on.’So it is with my most sincere apology that I ask for your forgiveness. And for the opportunity to regain your trust and your friendship.’” /Jester proceeds to laugh uncontrollably, thinking it’s a joke. LOL/ 

Dragon’s boulder: I’m not going to quote the whole conversation, but in the show it makes it seem like Dragon is going to drop the boudler on Gunther’s house, and that may kill someone but he doesn’t care. Still it just skirts over that it might kill someone, and he’s really looking to do some home damage, and kind of ruin Gunther’s life. BUT in the book dragon is VERY clear about wanting to kill Gunther. He is deadass like ‘I’m just going to smash him with this rock Jane wtf B)’ LOL. I was shook beyond belief. 

The ending scene: Oh boy so much to say! So in the show, what Dragon does is he kind of advances towards Magnus & Gunther with the boulder in his hand, but he doesn’t throw it, he just makes them stumble backwards and throws the boulder in the water. But in the book he just THROWS THE BOULDER AT THEM BOWLING BALL STYLE. LMAO. He just chucks it right at them. In the show, when Gunther sees Dragon coming towards them, he just moves out of the way and leaves Magnus behind (i laughed way too hard when I saw that), but in the book he SAVES HIS LIFE. HE PUSHES HIM OUT OF THE WAY THEN JUMPS.

HE. DOESN’T. DESERVE. YOU. GUNTHER.

Anyways! OF COURSE Magnus blames the whole thing on Gunther, but Gunther feels a sense of humor and relief, much like in the show, only much cuter. 

“Gunther stood up and grinned at the mess [there was herring everywhere]. ‘Well Father. That was a very good shot for such a stupid beast.’

Still sprawled on his stomach, the Merchant glared up at his son. ‘What is so funny, boy? This has cost us a month’s profit.’

But Gunther couldn’t help himself. The sight of his father on his knees, turning purple with rage, was too much for him. He burst into a fit of giggles and had to clamp a hand over his mouth. Jane and Dragon circled back overhead, and Gunther gave them a small wave. Then he ran off along the wharf before his giggles turned into a hopeless laughing fit.’”

/my sweet son/

Jane then says this: This is the point I wanted to make earlier. 

“‘Poor Gunther,’ said Jane. ‘He is going to have a list of jobs as long as his fahter’s face when this is over.’

‘Good,’ said Dragon. ‘He deserves it.’

‘Maybe. ...’ /I found this completely bizarre? Because on one hand Jane can’t stand Gunther let alone trust him or socialize with him, and then on the other, after knowing he was using Dragon, she feels bad for him? I think this goes back to the fact that everyone kind of knows something’s up with Gunther and his Father, and how Jane knows that whenever Magnus is angry, Gunther is going to be punished for it. So to an extent, Jane doesn’t really understand but to another she kind of does, and she sympathizes with him. Like she can sometimes tell it isn’t just him being that way, its his dad. It’s small moment of nuanced clarity like this that make this book (and the show) so interesting! 

Anyways, that’s all I had to say :D I hope you enjoyed it!

[dontlookdown]

Nick’s Favourite Music of 2017

I’ve always been someone that tries to accentuate the positive, so let me get this bold take out of the way:

2017 was bad, and best summed up by the phrase “Further complications”.

...But the music, films, TV and games of the past twelve months have been (on the whole) great, so we just about made it through.

If anything, there might have been too much good stuff. This is the first year in a while where I’ve not only struggled to pick out my favourites from earlier months, but have also had to navigate a massive backlog of acclaimed music that I’d missed. The scheduling of certain releases didn’t help. I have four bands in my life that hold a drop-everything status when they release a new record (LCD, War on Drugs, The National, QOTSA), and they all unleashed new albums within a week of each other. It gets exhausting!

As always, I’ve waited until the year is truly over before finalising my top 20 tracks of the year, because you never know when something extraordinary might suddenly pop out in the middle of December (and it frequently does). I’ll be posting about one song each day. Previous entries can be found easily using the tag “best-of-20xx”, going all the way back to 2010 (I always surprise myself every year by being reminded that this blog is that old).

First, though, some honorable mentions for tracks and albums that didn’t quite make the cut, but still mean a lot to me:

Cloud Nothings – “Modern Act”

ME: Oop! There’s a new Cloud Nothings album. Time to check in and see if Dylan Baldi has come up with a third entry in the ‘Choruses That Nick Relates to Way Too Much’ series, following “I need time to stop moving” and “I’m not you, you’re a part of me”.

DYLAN: “I want a life, that's all I need lately. I am alive but all alone”

ME: *sobbing uncontrollably* …Nice.

Coldplay – “All I Can Think About Is You”

This is a strange one that I rediscovered towards the end of the year, and haven’t been able to stop thinking about. It’s the sound of Coldplay making a conscious effort to return to the quieter, less-poppy style of their early work, but remembering that those records still had a sense of fun that was lacking in Ghost Stories.

Craig Finn – “God in Chicago”

Craig Finn (also of The Hold Steady) has always presented himself as more of a storyteller than a songwriter (although, as the incredible Boys and Girls in America proves, he’s brilliant at both), and his most recent solo album really pushed further into that territory. “God in Chicago” in particular is a stark contrast to the boisterous bar anthems that Craig’s other band is famous for, but still shows him operating at the peak of his powers.

Frank Ocean – “Chanel”

It took some time to adjust to the idea that, since returning after four years of silence, Frank Ocean doesn’t seem to be retreating out of the spotlight again. That’s fine by me. I’d listen to this guy sing the phonebook. Frank seems happy to be publicly experimenting with his sound right now, releasing new songs every few months via his radio show. “Chanel” was the first of these, and was a refreshing, almost stream-of-consciousness change of pace when compared to the precise songwriting that we heard on blonde. It also just happens to be the best song Drake’s never made.

Vince Staples – “BagBak”

Googles: "big fish theory" yeezus “About 18,200 results”

I’ve got nothing to add, really. “BagBak” bangs. I’m happy to hear Vince trying out new shit.

King Krule – The OOZ

I really struggled to formulate any solid thoughts about The OOZ, other than it is very good. What do you even call this type of music? Doom jazz? Extreme chillout? The album is like the sonic equivalent of a heavy night spent consuming every depressant imaginable, or a Morphine record that melted. …And, in writing that, I might have cracked it. It sounds like how we’ve all been writing about 2017 for the last few months! Time will be very kind to it, I suspect.

Mount Eerie – A Crow Looked at Me

Absolutely brilliant and almost impossible to recommend, A Crow Looked at Me is an earnest document of the passing of Phil Elverum’s wife, Geneviève, and an unflinching portrait of how death really affects the people someone’s absence leaves behind. Musically, it’s a stripped-down as a record can possibly be, and requires an empathetic frame of mind from the listener. But it’s incredibly rewarding for those that take the time to engage with it.

Slowdive – Slowdive

Very few things in this world make me happier than bands reuniting after long breaks and releasing an album that stands up with their very best work. I’ll be talking about this in more detail later on in the month, but it’s worth bringing up in relation to the already-legendary shoegaze band Slowdive. Twenty. Two. Years. And it didn’t dull their senses one iota.

Alec Holowka – “Home Again”

Night in the Woods is the game I wish I’d had when I was 18. At its core, it’s a game that stresses the importance of talking to and learning about the people in your life, and considering how we all bump into each other throughout our long-ass lives. In between hanging out with old friends, it perfectly captures that intangible sense of malaise you get when you’re forced to take stock of your life so far and end up wondering just what the fuck you even want to achieve now. This dissonance is present in the game’s soundtrack too, composed by developer Alec Holowka. “Home Again”, as the title suggests, plays while your character is back in her childhood home, returning abruptly from college. It’s got a very warm sound, hazy and swirly in a way that provokes a mental image of familiar dusty furniture being bathed in a sunbeam through your window. And then, after two bars at around :30, a minor chord is introduced, giving the progression a sad, almost disappointed feel. You’re back…but why? Is everything okay? It’s equal parts comforting and concerned, the lone piano shifting into a more confident melody at 1:30 while the moody synths hold back briefly. It’s the sound of a worried parent calmly asking you some tough questions.

Dan Salvato – “I Still Love You”

I’ve previously gone on-the-record about how Doki Doki Literature Club completely wrecked my shit, as have many people who’ve played it, but I think the game deserves some recognition for being as much a loving tribute to dating sim games as it is savage deconstruction. This is something that’s highlighted by the game’s soundtrack (composed by writer/designer/way-too-talented person Dan Salvato), full of bright, breezy pieces that would sound right at home in any number of these games, on-the-nose emotionally and completely earnest in presentation (bum notes and all). And then, as you might be aware, things get weird. But, crucially, the music does not. Rather than composing new pieces to supplement the new tone, we simply hear the old ones again (albeit ever-so-slightly warped in places). This adds to that false sense of security. “Everything’s fine”, the game tells us, lying through its teeth. By the time the façade drops completely, the music is gone, replaced by an atmospheric soundscape. “I Still Love You”, which plays over the climactic scene, is a blend of the two extremes we’ve heard so far: the emptiness of the soundscape morphing itself into an actual melody, accompanied by a lone piano still hitting the perky beats from the earlier tracks. It’s a perfect representation of everything the game does so well when it comes to managing tone and player expectation, and a great and relaxing piece in its own right.

John Williams – “Canto Bight”

In which John Williams finally composes a proper follow-up to “Cantina Band”. I joked last week that you could make a playlist consisting of nothing but this track repeated hundreds of times, and end up with the perfect soundtrack for any party. It’s funny because it’s true. In less than three minutes, Williams segues from traditional film score bombast to an exciting cocktail of Dixieland jazz, Cuban salsa and 12-bar blues. Separated from the scene it soundtracks, it’s a piece that constantly keeps you on your toes, and a perfect example of why the general weirdness of The Last Jedi was one of the most exciting things about it.

That’s it for now. Tomorrow we’ll start with the list proper. Until then!

[karnaismyfloofbaby]

Beside You (Part 1)

Finally I’m back! And recently otome is slowly losing its grip on me (feel sad and depressed that I can’t get nice stuff without spending a shit ton or begging peeps for help in events). On the flipside, there’s been a sort of new RPG game that I absolutely am hooked on right now called Food Fantasy.

The characters look amazing, the story is nice, art is fantastic and even non spenders get something nice just by playing. But I’m not here to promote FF per se but more of to celebrate me getting such a cute boi- Nagashi Somen in the recent event. Hope ya’ll enjoy it and once again NO REPOSTING/CLAIMING AS YOUR OWN. This is purely for reading pleasure only and reblogs & reactions are welcome. Disclaimer: Nagashi Somen’s OG backstory (Please read it.. It’s really sad. Muh poor baby T^T) and design belongs to Elex and Funtoy Games.

Here’s the link to how this precious boi looks like if you’re curious:

https://food-fantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Nagashi_Somen

This story is just a product of my own imagination on how my baby boi Somen was designed with his bench. You may choose to put yourself in Master Attendant’s shoes but for ease of writing I shall just put my OC name- Miko.

_______________________________________________________________ 

“I’m sorry I lied Somen san. Please forgive me?”

“Master Attendant… I… have already forgiven you… Please rest well, Master.”

… (fade to current scene)

“Ah… It’s that dream again…” Nagashi Somen remarks quietly as he sat up slowly from the sun warmed bench he had grown so fond of. Running his fingers across the worn out wooden bench that had been smoothed down over years of use, his mind trailed off seeking out distant memories that had long lay forgotten.

… (flashback)

[Sfx: crickets chirping]

“Aww man! It’s too hot to do anything right now. If the temperature crawls any higher, I’ll spontaneously combust into flames.”

“Now then, Miko chan don’t be so dramatic. I’m sure you won’t combust into flames. Now be a dear and help me clean the paint brushes.”

“Alright, Grandpa.” Miko responds dutifully carrying a large bundle of paint brushes outside to wash and dry them.

“Good girl. Before you know it we can both enjoy somen together if you are diligent.” Grandpa remarked before disappearing into the house.

Miko flopped down on a giant wooden bench in the backyard and started work, her fingers so accustomed to the task that she did it almost automatically without putting much thought into it. Rinse, scrub, add paint thinner, scrub harder, rinse, do a little shake and dry. The process was so routine; it did not even feel like a chore.

20 minutes later…

“Yawn…I think… I’ll just take a short nap and finish the rest…la…ter…zzz” she mumbled softly before curling up to sleep on the bench.

[Sfx: light beam radiated in the kitchen and a figure appears]

“Oh? Where am I?” A young man remarked as the light faded away to reveal a small, antiquated looking kitchen. He cautiously stepped out, smoothing down his white top and readjusting his white cap that had dropped down. He blinked once, twice, beautiful emerald eyes surveying the small kitchen and called out again. “Is anyone there?” Silence greeted him and having stood for a while, he decided to look around.

He approached the ancient looking wooden table peering at the things on display. “Hmm… Paint brushes? Paint? Frames? I see…” A hint of a smile appeared on his face as he made his way outside, his feet making a light tapping sound on the polished wooden floor. Sticking his head out, he saw a young lady sleeping on the bench in the backyard. Not wanting to wake her up, he crouched down beside her and watched her.

-internally wondering [Should I wake her up? What should I do?]

As he continued to ponder, she stirred lightly and almost rolled herself out of the bench.

“Eh?!” The young man quickly caught her by the waist before she hit the floor and he fell down with a loud thud on the ground. The young girl jolted awake from the sudden impact and for a moment both of them awkwardly stared at each other before she let out a scream.

“Wh-who are you?! What are you doing in my backyard?! More importantly why are you holding me??!!”

He quickly let go off her waist and they both quickly moved away from each other.

“I apologise. You were about to roll off the bench and I instinctively moved to catch you before you fell.” The young man replied without even blinking. “It’s good fortune that I happen to chance upon you before you rolled right off the edge and knocked your head.”

[ (>//////////

“I… I… Thanks a lot. Ermm… Who are you anyways?”

“My name is Nagashi Somen. I’m a Food Soul. I have come in response to a summon. Are you my Master Attendant?”

“I’m Miko and I don’t think so but we could ask Grandpa. He should have an idea of why you were summoned here. Follow me Nagashi Somen san”. Miko led the way to the front of the house where her Grandpa was supposed to be taking his afternoon nap.

All of a sudden, a loud thundering crash was heard and an ominous growl resounded through the house. Both of them whipped their heads towards the house.

“What the heck was that?!”

“I sense a horrible presence Ms Miko. Let’s make haste.”

Nagashi Somen led the way to the front of the house, shielding her behind him. The sight before him, was unbelievable. It looked like a hurricane blew through the house. Furniture were toppled over, curtains were slashed into ribbons, the floor was punctured with holes, glass littered the place and most unnervingly, splashes of crimson blood painted the floor. He stood there, rooted to the spot unable to tear his gaze away from the destruction. A wail tore him out of his stupor and he turned to find Miko cradling an elderly man.

“Grandpa! Grandpa! Wake up! WAKE UP! No… no no no no.. You can’t leave me. You promised me we would have somen noodles together. Y-you.. can’t go… You’re.. my… my only.. family.. left! Grandpaaaaaaaaa!!!”

Nagashi Somen had heard a lot of sounds in his life but never had he heard of such a forlorn tune as the one Miko was making now. He approached quietly, squatting beside her as she hugged the lifeless body of the man she had loved dearly.

“Ms Miko, we should give your grandfather a proper burial and get this mess cleaned up before…”

“NO! He’s… he’s not dead! He’s just sleeping! See Nagashi Somen! He’s… just sleeping. Right? Tell me that he’s sleeping”

Not wanting to disappoint her but at the same time refusing to lie, Nagashi Somen kept quiet and lay a comforting hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, almost as if like a lifeless puppet whose strings have been cut, Miko crumpled into a heap on the floor, sobbing and wailing- her small frame wrecked by the painful heaving of her chest.

Nagashi Somen was at a loss. He did not know what to do. [Why? Is my misfortune really that disturbing? Why do the people around me die? Why… can’t I do anything about it? Granny, Master Hui, now Miko’s grandpa…]

Mentally shaking himself out of his thoughts, he lifted Miko gently and placed her on the couch- the stress and shock of the situation having knocked her out. He moved efficiently, covering and moving Grandpa’s body to a less damaged area of the house. Picking up a broom and rag, he proceeded to clean the house and salvage whatever that was lying about in the mess.

2 hours later…

As Nagashi Somen was cleaning up the last part of the mess, a weak voice called out to him. He turned and rushed to Miko’s side.

“Are you feeling better, Ms Miko?”

She stared at him with glassy, tear stained eyes. “I… feel empty… It feels unreal… Grandpa.. he’s…”

He offered an empathetic smile and held her close. “It’s ok to cry, Ms Miko. Grieve. Shout. Scream. Do whatever you must. But after that you must become stronger. That’s the karmic cycle of life. People live, grow up, grow old, then die. But you mustn’t die or give up until you’ve experienced life.”

(sniff sniff) “I guess you’re right… We… we should give Grandpa a proper burial then.”

…

“What are you going to do now, Ms Miko?” Nagashi Somen stared at the young lady squatting on the ground before him.

“Miko. Just call me Miko. There’s no need for formalities. After all, you’re the only one left here with me. And… I was thinking about what you said earlier. You know, about experiencing life. It’s always been Grandpa’s dream to travel to the Lake of Glass Jar in Light Kingdom and paint its surroundings. I was planning to travel there and fulfil his dream. Will you come with me Nagashi Somen?”

“Of course, Miko. And call me Somen. It’s much easier. I shall help you fulfil your Grandpa’s dream and protect you on the journey there. You can count on me!”

She stood up, offering one final prayer at Grandpa’s grave and walked back to the small house to pack with Somen following behind her.

[And that’s it for now. I will update Part 2 soon. Hopefully it doesn’t go beyond Part 2. :3]

[doorsclosingslowly]

Literally ALL OF THEM for Riches and Wonders.

THX!!!!!!!! I’m going to do this in chunks. it got kinda long, sorry!

1: Whatinspired you to write the fic this way?

Riches and Wonders is reallya Savage character study in the end. When I started writing Runaways, back whenit was a one-shot, the point was more that I wanted to figure out a way inwhich Maul was going to survive, and didn’t he have that brother with theedgelord name? TCW still isn’t my favourite interpretation of Maul even if it’s funny, but Ilove Savage so much I can’t really diss it anymore

Writing it from Savage’s POVwas because I liked that framing better, and then the story became about hisjourney because I decided writing about near-misses and calling it “Thank Youbut Your Princess is in Another Castle” was funny. So while it was empatheticto Savage’s perspective and I was starting to figure out his narrative voice,it wasn’t really as deeply in his head as it could have been. (Which does work.“There were no words for a long time.It’s good that there weren’t.” Savage in Princess is incredibly depressedand Talzin’s mind-controlled tool, and he becomes more lively after he gets tointeract with someone who thinks of him as a person again.)

(Side note: The way I figure the mind control works btw is that it’sbasically a strong compulsion to obey, not a reshaping of his mind or anything,and he acts the way he does because he’s terrified, depressive, hurt, andthrown into a completely new world so he’s also pretty confused, and when he’snot completely numb, he’s keeping himself together by the skin of his teeth andthe ways he’s learned how to cope as a nightbrother. Which ends up reinforcingthe obedience. And makes him hide his emotions apart from the ones people wantfrom him (rage) because he must be Strong. The goals aren’t his own, but it’shis mind trying to fulfil them: he’s trying to do what Talzin orders withoutreally knowing why but that’s mostly what he’d have done anyway so he doesn’teven think it’s weird. The compulsion can be triggered by the Sisters or brokenlike in canon or when he thinks, I just CAN’T letMaul die like Feral in Princess. I amsoft and the idea that Talzin’s ritual destroyed the person he was is way toosad for me to write tbh. And also makes characterization really really hard)

That more shallowunderstanding I used to have in Princess obviously doesn’t cut it, if I’mwriting an eight-part series about them. So from Curses onwards I thought a lotabout what each of the brothers is getting out of this relationship, the waythey affect each other, and the way it’s both a train wreck and mutuallysupportive. (Your Love Alone is pretty much the condensed version of thatthought process.)

I did a lot of research, especially about maladaptivecoping responses to abuse (focusing on compliance and avoidance w/r/t Savage,because he’s so… quiet before the rage explodes) and it fit with thecharacterization I had in Princess and with TCW. (They’re incredibly maladaptivenow that he’s run away, but self-soothing and advance compliance andpsychological withdrawal are what might have kept him alive as a nightbrother.)

Also I watched his episodes a lot and got upset a lot.Apart from Monster the show’s POV isn’t that sympathetic but trying tounderstand what he’s thinking in every scene… oh boy.

A big part of the characterization ended up justgrowing from lines I put into Princess because I thought they were fun orsounded right. So, “He imaginessurprising Her, conjures up Her proud face when he reports that he has foundMaul, and then discards the thought. It’s never been him She was interested in.Once She sees Maul, She will never look at him again. He thinks he should feelwistful. He is relieved.” becomes this idea that Savage is usually veryaware of how he’s supposed to be reacting, of who he is supposed to be, but he often doesn’t measure up. Everysituation contains the emotions he shouldfeel, and the ones he does feel. Atthe same time, his reactions are pretty reasonable and the expectations he’sinternalized are just… not.

Also, the daydreaming which Savage does in Princess (“He entertains himself with guessing thebusiness his brother does” etc) has increased exponentially. Partly it’sbecause Savage actually knows Maul now, so he can be reminded of his brother byrandom stuff. Partly it’s because I’m really into “This made me think of you”as a bit of show-don’t-tell affection. Partly it’s because Maul is his wholeworld now. Partly it’s that Savage would totally stick Maul’s report cards tothe fridge if he had the chance, or pass around his album of Feral baby photosto everyone who doesn’t run away fast enough. He would talk to a random woman in a bar about how cool he thinks Maulis.

.

Ultimately, I think it’s pretty fortunate that I gotso derailed into focusing on Savage. The inciting What If of Runaways is “Whatif Talzin wanted Maul back 15 years earlier” obviously but the actualcounterfactual I’m writing is more like, “What if Savage was much moresuccessful in the tug-of-war of defining their relationship?” Which isconnected to the fact that they’re in a very different place to canon when theymeet, and that they have the luxury of spending (mostly) unobserved years assmall-time criminals and not as parties in the Clone Wars.

From Princess on but also in the parts I haven’twritten yet, Savage’s decisions drive a massive part of their story. He decidesto run away with Maul, after all.

Which is funny, because he doesn’t think of himself asa person with agency, and obviously most people he interacts with think of himas a tool (Talzin) or a monster or an apprentice who should do what Maul saysbecause they are Sith and that’s how life works. They really don’t think of himas making choices either. There’s a lot of ‘minor’ decisions where he goesalong with little or no protest until suddenly there’s something he can’t bearanymore, and then he just acts. Thereis no leadup because it’s been simmering under the surface, just as feelingsand never vocalized. Like in the show, haha. Mostly silent obedience obedience obedience CHOKE DOOKU & VENTRESS!!!It makes him look like an irrational person from the outside (or a “mindlessbeast” blah blah blah, hate that), but I don’t think that’s it. To deliberatehis decision would have required him to be a more verbal thinker, but mostly: toactually believe he has a choice.

And Savage can’tbelieve that he has any agency anymore. If he is capable of disobeying orders– well, why didn’t he disobey the order to kill Feral? Being a tool sucks, buthis destiny has always been controlled by the Nightsisters anyway. Not being atool – having the power to stop Feral’s death, and killing him regardless…

(This is an absolutetangent but anyway. So I read this Savage/Asajj fic that was enthusiasticdubcon aka ‘they both know he isn’t allowed to disobey her and therefore he can’tactually consent to sex but he’s really into it and after he’s brought to theSisters and before the ritual, he initiates the encounter and it’s his POV which is the only way dubcon can work’, and it was prettyinteresting especially with the woman-centered framing of sex (engulfingetc) but anyway, I had the most horrifying thought right now: Asajj is stillgoing to use Savage’s body to kill his brother. This is probably the mostpsychologically wrecking version of what happens in Monster ever. In theRunaways ‘verse version of what happens, the story Savage tells himself isthis: He has no capability of disobeying at all anymore, so ultimately he isjust the tool that killed Feral. Still traumatizing, but… What do you tell yourselfwhen you ‘willingly’ sleep with the person who ordered you to kill yourbrother? Can you still make yourself believe you didn’t make the choice to kill him? Like it obviously doesn’t makehim any more culpable at all but it would feel So Bad.)

Wow sorry, this is really rambly and way too long. Tosummarize… What inspired me to write this fic this way was that I’m writing apretty long story about how Maul and Savage very slowly help each other, oftenin ways that seem strange or even slightly unhealthy on the surface or involve murder.My mental picture of Maul was much clearer, and that would have been doingSavage a massive disservice. So I watched Clone Wars a lot. And cried.

2: Whatscene did you first put down?

The rape scene, or, well,the ‘Thinking about Maul’s eating habits to mentally cope with being rapedbecause Savage thinks this is something he has to endure and not something heshould and could escape’ scene. I still think it fits with what I’m going for really well tbh, andboth the ‘externally controlled body’ part (less of a magical metaphor here) andthe ‘ignoring his agency’ part and the nightbrothers as essentially breedingslaves part are such major aspects of Savage’s backstory, or I wouldn’t havewritten this scene. When I said that the fic was way out of my comfort zone, Idefinitely meant it. But Savage’s issues with agency are a major part of him, and I thought the take worked and it’s probably why I wasso stubborn in trying to finish Riches even though six months is a fucking longtime.

3: What’syour favorite line of narration?

There is a tongue inSavage’s mouth again, lightly tracing the back seams of his teeth and thensquirming against Savage’s tongue, like the bitten-off tail end of a massiveearthworm, only much less delightful—andMaul doesn’t like rancor flavored with kur-seeds and peppers. He made themost entertaining face on tasting that dish for the first time, and when hestumbled on his unsteady new leg to the fresher to spit it out, Savage onlystarted to feel bad for laughing when he didn’t come out for half an hour. Hewas too entertained to even think about his failure then, even though he cookedit, the meal he’s come to think of as the most comforting comfort food, in thedoomed hope that it would help Maul feel better and stronger after his injury.

It feels wrong to mock him,now that he’s had a while to think it over. Maul’s soft palate is the fault ofthe human who raised him. Besides, Savage should be grateful: There issomething soft left in his brother. Every time Maul hates the meals that Savagelovingly prepares for him, he should be glowing with pride and relief, becausethere is something Maul doesn’t like, and he’s learned to tell Savage about it.

Savage doesn’t know what itwas that he did, but that doesn’t make it any less his greatest triumph: Thefirst day that Maul looked at him, still tied up and after a month of stoicallyforcing down whatever Savage held up to his mouth, and spat the spicedchew-fish back in his face.

“This tastes like shit,”Maul said, then.

It’s one of Savage’shappiest memories, and it’s not like Maul is really wrong about the taste of rancor, anyway.

Savage thinks about theimportance of Maul being able to say “No.” in a moment where he himself (believesthat he) has no choice. The fact that Maul feels comfortable enough to refusethings is something he sees as a major breakthrough in their relationship,because it means that Maul is beginning to trust that Savage isn’t going toreact like Sidious. Savage doesn’t consciously connect it to his own situation.He doesn’t really think about the difference between the things he wants forMaul (and Feral) and what he has accepted for himself.

Also, he’s redefiningsomething that looks like a dick move (Maul insulting Savage’s cooking skills) intoa show of trust and a sign of affection, which I always like.

(Maul won’t try roe today, after all. They’ll slit a few fish bellies,but Savage’s picked the wrong season, and none of them carry young. He will trya piece of raw fish in the end—after much cajoling, which Savage will figurehe’s entitled to, after Maul left the shallow waters with his heavy prostheticand pretended to drown, and then pulled his frantic brother under. Twice.Predictably, Maul will declare that raw fish is disgusting.

He’ll still be complaining about the aftertaste when farmer M’lee makesthe incredibly unwise and terminal decision to check on his fish in theevening.)

+

(M’lee’s daughter will inherit the roe farm. It will lie empty, andsuccumb to rot. She’ll never set another foot on Talasea, not after thathorrifying morning when she comes back from a friend’s wedding to find herfather missing and then dismembered and burned in the peaceful grass.

She’ll die on Coruscant ten years later, destitute and still trying tobring justice.)

Also this one, because I just think it really works the way I wanted it to? It punctures the cocoon of Savage’s POVwhere only Maul really matters. I don’t get to be compassionate to anybody else usually because of Runaways’ tight perspective but I think it’s important to remember the victims

4: What’syour favorite line of dialogue?

This is really hard. It’sprobably this part

Instead of meditating,though, Maul stands up again. He looks at Savage for a long second, paces,picks up the blanket from Savage’s bed, and then he sits down in the corner ofhis floor-nest. He pushes the mismatched pillow-wall on the other side further awaywith a few kicks. Then he orders, “Come here.”

Savage does.

“Sit down,” Maul says.

Savage does, carefully,stepping over the pillow-wall. When he sits, the floor is cool through Maul’sblankets, and hard as well. He scowls. He’s been telling Maul that it can’t becomfortable for a while now, but he’s always been informed that it’s adequate.For lack of actual knowledge—maybe the thick fabric he’d forced on Maul wasenough, even if it didn’t seem like it—he believed him. Now, though…

“This isn’t good for yourback. You need a proper bed.”

“A mattress is superfluous,”Maul says.

“You refused to have ablanket for two months,” Savage reminds him. “And now look at your nest…” Heruns his hand over the wall of pillows to his left, still standing sturdydespite Maul’s show of carelessness in pushing it aside. “See? You can change.”

You can grow to like beds, Savage almostsays, but the words bite into his throat and refuse to come out.

He pats the floor blanketagain, instead.

“You’re deflecting,” Maulsays, mercilessly. “I felt your terror. What happened?”

The start of their BigConversation, where they’re basically talking about nothing at all, even thoughboth Maul and Savage obviously know what just happened. I like things that are very lowkey.

Savage’s instinct is to beMaul’s big brother and his caretaker, even when he’s really out of it. Focusingon Maul (what they are going to do when they meet, making sure they meet,whatever Maul looks like he needs now) is also one of his more effective copingmechanisms, and he’s been doing it the whole time really. He has chased Maulthrough all of Princess, he’s been doing whatever Maul wants during Curses. Unmasked doesn’t really count because it was originally part of Riches It’salso what he’s doing in the flashback at the beginning of Riches, feeding Feralso he doesn’t have to be so afraid of the Sisters coming. He has never reallythought about what is being done to him. Well, Maul isn’t letting him run awayanymore.

It also kinda punctures someof Savage’s ‘I am the big brother and know what your life should have been like’airs. Savage’s been trying to coax Maul into accepting his own vision of whatlife should be like, including making him eat what Savage thinks he should eatand sleeping the way Savage thinks he should sleep, instead of the way Maul’sused to live. Fair play, the way Maul was raised was terrible. But Savage’s lifewasn’t great either, and now, Maul being raised a nightbrother doesn’t lookthat attractive anymore.

(Also it says something about Savage’s decision-makingprocess I think. There’s a kind of reversal of the model thought process, the ‘rational’ ideal… The most consequential decisionbased on his feeling that Maul deserves better than a nightbrother slave’slife, Savage takes right in the beginning. Not bringing him back to Talzin. Twoyears later, Savage is still struggling with that idea though, see also: “Savage cannot think back far enough toreach a world empty of this truth, but he remembers too that Maul wasn’t raiseda nightbrother (for the blink of a second and for the first time, it feels likea mercy), and so the words will have to stumble out.” because he’s neververbalized his reasons for not bringing Maul to Dathomir or integrated theminto his worldview. They aren’t thoughts he knows how to think, but thatdoesn’t mean they don’t influence his actions.)

I also like the space pigeondialogue a lot haha If I didn’t I’d have cut it, because it’s probably definitelyToo Obvious

5: Whatpart was hardest to write?

Going by what I left off until the end, it’s the barscene from the point when Keeu shows up. Because a) I don’t recognise flirtingin real life, so how am I going to write it and b) I knew that if it didn’tmake sense, the whole ending of the fic wouldn’t make sense.

That’s not the bit I re-wrote about a million times,though. That’s Maul and Savage’s conversation about Dathomiri society and theSith code

[daresplaining]

Hey, me again. This may seem like a weird request, but have their been any memorable times, in your opinion, where Matt has been really kind and compassionate to others in the comics? Not just in a 'willing to do violence on your behalf sort of way' but in any other way as well.

   Sure! Matt is generally a very empathetic and compassionate person. That’s one of his myriad reasons for being a superhero (and a lawyer too, for that matter). Of course, he’s (usually…) kind and caring toward his loved ones, but it’s telling that he has also been known to show compassion not only for strangers, but for his enemies as well– so that’s what we’re going to focus on here. There are more moments than we could possibly include here without making this post ridiculously long, so rather than trying to cover everything, we’ve narrowed it down to some of our favorites.  

Matt: “The media likes to pigeonhole anyone in a costume into easily digestible sound bites. ‘The Man Without Fear’ is the title they’ve stuck me with. What they’ll never understand, of course, is that it’s not a matter of fear. It’s about honestly asking yourself, ‘What other choice is there?’ It’s about caring.”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #303 by D.G. Chichester, M.C. Wyman, and Christie Scheele]

    First and foremost…

Matt: “Gee, you’d think someone would help that blind man across the street! Say, mister… can I give you a hand? He didn’t seem to hear me! He might be deaf, too! Say… there’s a truck turning the corner… coming towards him! […] He won’t have a chance… unless I can reach him in time!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #1 by Stan Lee, Bill Everett, and Sam Rosen]

    Matt’s origin story is characterized by what is inarguably an act of courage– but more than that, it is an act of compassion. He notices a stranger in peril, he sees that no one else is going to help, and he puts his own life at risk to do something about it. This willingness and desire to be a force for good in the lives of people he doesn’t know is at the core of why Matt becomes a superhero, and it’s a desire that keeps him going later on, in spite of everything it costs him. After all of the pain this preliminary selfless act brings him, young Matt could very easily have lost interest in helping others right then and there. But he doesn’t.

Willie: “Skip it, DD! It ain’t a pretty yarn anyhow! And it’s something– I gotta ‘tend to– by myself!”

Matt: “Okay, mister! I’m not about to pry! But, let me leave you with this thought– There are lots of people– without sight– who lead useful, productive lives! All it takes is guts– the kind of guts you’re loaded with, Willie!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #47 by Stan Lee and Gene Colan]

    1960s Matt did a lot of 1960s things, including once performing for American soldiers in Vietnam. In the audience at one of his shows is a young man named Willie Lincoln, whose battle injuries have left him with rapidly deteriorating eyesight. While watching the performance, his vision gives out completely, driving him into a fit of panic. Matt hears about this, tracks Willie down, and visits him in the hospital, wanting to offer someone suffering through a life change he knows all too well some encouraging words. They talk, and when Willie tells Matt that he is in legal trouble with some corrupt cops at his job back home, Matt immediately agrees to represent him in court pro bono (courtesy of his *cough* lawyer friend). Matt helps Willie to restart his life once he returns from service, and provides him with hope in what he’d previously seen as a hopeless situation.

Willie: “Y’know, boy– just a short time ago I thought I’d really hit bottom! But then I found me a friend– and cleared my name! Now, even without my eyes– I’m looking forward to tomorrow– for the first time! I feel like I’m part of the human race again! Murdock never made a big deal about it– but, when you get down to where it’s at– maybe that’s what brotherhood is all about!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #47 by Stan Lee and Gene Colan]

   The two end up becoming close friends, and Willie sticks around for a while as a recurring member of the Daredevil cast. (Sadly, however, he hasn’t been seen in a long time. Marvel, bring him back!)

Foggy: “…You’ve really let yourself in for it this time, Matt. I mean, since it’s been named a federal case– there’s nothing a lowly district attorney could do to help the Hulk– even if I wanted to!”

Matt: “And you’re probably right in advising me to withdraw from the case… but somehow, I just can’t! The Hulk is alone– friendless– as much sinned against as sinning. Thus, I feel that I have to defend him… even if it may mean the end of my legal career! If you can’t understand that… then I don’t know who will!”

[Incredible Hulk vol. 1 #153 by Gary Friedrich, Dick Ayers, and Herb Trimpe]

   We’ve mentioned Bruce Banner a number of times when talking about Matt’s friends, and he is someone who Matt will always drop everything to try and help. In their very first encounter, Matt is hired to defend the Hulk in court. When the Hulk turns violent (no surprise there) everyone else involved with the case treats him as a threat. But Matt sees past the violence and understands that the Hulk is suffering, and reacting in the only way he knows how. Matt offers Bruce/Hulk his support and friendship, and places both his legal career and his life on the line to help him get a fair trial and a chance at a normal life. This is a choice he makes again and again over the years, as Bruce continues to be betrayed and abused by the system and the world in general.  

Matt: “Melvin, we’ve come so far. I know how much you want to be well… to go straight. We can help you, Betsy and I.”

Melvin: “I been trying, Matt. I been sitting in that courtroom, listening to them say those things about me, feeling my guts churn up, wanting to rip them all to pieces… They hate me. They all hate me… so I’m gonna hate them back!”

Matt: “I’m not letting you off that easy. If you want to become the Gladiator again, you’ll have to get past me.”

Melvin: “Past you?! Look at you– you’re just a skinny little blind guy! I’d break you in half! It’d be easy […] Why not? I’m the Gladiator! The Gladiator! When I’m wearing my armor, I’m unbeatable. I’m… I’m all alone. Help me… please…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #173 by Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Glynis Wein]

     The Gladiator is an early DD villain who was gifted with a lot of extra complexity and the possibility of redemption by later writers. After fighting him for years, Matt is finally confronted with Melvin’s humanity and suffering, and immediately joins forces with his parole officer/psychiatrist/eventual girlfriend Betsy Beatty to give him both legal and emotional support. Matt comes to understand that Melvin’s fits of criminal behavior are brought about by feelings of isolation and helplessness– and while he doesn’t always succeed, Matt at least tries to be there for him when he needs help.

Jester: “A moment ago, you unmasked. Now I shall perform a similar gesture… I am, your humble and obedient servant– the Jester! At your service!”

Matt: “You deserve the bow. You were magnificent.”

Jester: “Indeed! I trust the critics will change their tune.”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #218 by Denny O’Neil, Sal Buscema, and Christie Scheele]

    This is a touching issue– surprisingly so for a story about the Jester. Despite his goofy appearance and Silver Age-y backstory, the Jester is a dangerous criminal. He specializes in misinformation and mass media manipulation, and he has wrecked the lives of Matt and his friends on a number of occasions. However, at heart he’s just a spurned actor looking for an appreciative audience. When Matt learns that the Jester has kidnapped an actor who was supposed to perform on live TV, and jumped into the main role himself, he hurries over, ready for a fight. However, when he gets there he discovers that all the Jester is doing is… well, acting– and doing a really good job of it. Realizing that his enemy is achieving a harmless lifelong dream, Matt decides to leave him alone, and distracts the cops who have arrived on the scene long enough to allow the Jester to get his longed-for applause.  

Number Nine: “A girl should look her best in battle!”

Brandy: “God give me strength, and keep me from slapping the lipstick off that bimbo!”

Matt: “Brandy, you fight for so many humane causes, can’t you muster up some compassion for that poor girl?”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #273 by Ann Nocenti, John Romita, Jr., and Christie Scheele]

    The “Lone Stranger” arc of Matt’s story presents a fascinating exploration of his mindset and morality. In the aftermath of his first major run-in with Typhoid Mary, Matt is left physically and emotionally destroyed. Unable to face life in New York City, he gets on a train upstate with no plan or destination. The method he comes up with to cope with the pain of his lost life is a complete smothering of his thoughts and emotions. He lives from moment to moment, immersing himself in his immediate sensory experiences, and emotionally cutting himself off from the world around him. 

    Over the course of his trek across upstate New York he has brief encounters with people in need. One of the most notable of these encounters is with a woman called Number Nine. She is an escapee from what is essentially a slave trade, in which women are genetically engineered to be beautiful, docile, identity-less, and are then sold to men looking for “perfect” wives. Having been through this process, Number Nine remembers nothing about who she was or where she came from, and struggles to understand her new existence. She imprints on Matt (another effect of the procedure), and while he is initially hesitant to let himself get involved, still determined to avoid personal connections, he tries (with… varied success and tact) to provide her with support as she negotiates the confusion of her new life and programming.      

Number Nine: “Oh! It’s okay, I have a healing power! They gave it to me… […] You’ll see, my cuts will heal, fast, like magic!”

Matt: “Number Nine– try to tell me what you were doing just now…”

Number Nine: “Cutting. I think it’s… Physical pain– it helps drown out the pain in my mind… Cutting helps…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #273 by Ann Nocenti, John Romita, Jr., and Christie Scheele]

    This is a loaded story arc, and Number Nine is a character who deserves a lot more attention and analysis than what we have time for here– but we wanted to at least mention her.

Matt (caption): “The words don’t come easy… but ultimately, they must come. Leave it unsaid, risk dwelling on the evil this man’s done– the injuries he’s brought down on my life, onto others’– and the road traveled is one of bitterness. Of revenge. But let go of the hate, rise about it, and maybe there’s something worthwhile that can provide the inner drive. Maybe then there’s hope for something noble.”

Matt: “I forgive you…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #300 by D.G. Chichester, Lee Weeks, and Christie Scheele]

   This is a big moment from the pivotal “Last Rites” arc, in which Matt finally topples Fisk’s criminal enterprise and destroys his life, in much the same way that Fisk once destroyed his. When the final fight is over and the Kingpin is left physically and emotionally beaten, hunched in the remains of his once-great empire, Matt finds the will to look past all of the pain his nemesis has heaped on him over the years, and to offer forgiveness and a chance to remedy their mutual hatred. It’s not exactly an act of compassion, and it’s a gesture that Matt angrily takes back not long afterward… but given the circumstances, it’s a testament to Matt’s willingness to try to be a positive force for others– even for those who least deserve it.

Matt: You’re going to make it, hear me? You’re gonna–

Owlsley: “You should’ve let me…”

Matt: “Unh-uh. You take my hand– you’re willing to take my hand– I don’t let go. You’ve got some long ways to go, mister… but you can count on me…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #303 by D.G. Chichester, M.C. Wyman, and Christie Scheele]

   The Owl has always gotten the short end of the characterization stick as far as Matt’s villains are concerned. He’s your typical over-the-top, hilariously avian-themed bad guy in his early appearances, and a bumbling Kingpin-wannabe later on. Only a few writers have attempted to add nuance to his story. The most notable development in this direction is a story arc that sends him into a literal physical breakdown. He discovers that the procedures he has subjected himself to over the years in order to make himself more birdlike are slowly destroying his body, and he is forced to face the truth of his own mortality and legacy. When he attempts a desperate scheme to reestablish himself as a power within the criminal underworld, Matt is, of course, right there and waiting to stop him. But when he witnesses firsthand the broken, haunted person Owlsley has become, he steps in to save his life, and to offer him the hope of moving forward in a positive direction.

   Sadly, this step forward in their relationship has been ignored by most of the creative teams since. Clearly, Owlsley is most useful and fun to write when he’s completely villainous.  

Matt: “Why are you doing this to her?”

Natasha: “She thinks she’s Natasha Romanov. She thinks she killed Yelena Belova. But she is Yelena Belova. She’s coming undone.”

Matt: “But why, dammit?”

[Black Widow (2001) #2 by Devon Grayson, Greg Rucka, and Scott Hampton]

    “Breakdown” is one of our favorite comics, and one we’ve been meaning to post about for a while, so this seemed like the perfect place to mention it. It’s also known as Black Widow (2001) #1-3, and features Matt in the role of sympathetic outsider. The previous arc of the series introduces Yelena Belova, a young graduate of the Red Room who is determined to prove her skills by killing Natasha and usurping her as the Black Widow. She faces Natasha and Matt (who cameos in that arc as well) as an enemy. But in “Breakdown” the situation becomes a bit more complicated. Wanting to teach the arrogant young agent a lesson about the realities of being a spy, Natasha has Yelena kidnapped and surgically switches appearances with her. Yelena wakes up in Natasha’s apartment, frightened and confused, and is forced to live Natasha’s life while rapidly losing grasp of her own identity. Having previously seen Yelena only as a threat, Matt is initially happy to involve himself in Natasha’s plan to mess with her. However, when confronted firsthand with her terror, he tries to stop the mission and steps in to comfort Yelena, despite Natasha’s insistence that he not interfere with her breakdown.              

Yelena: “…You…know?”

Matt: “Yes.”

Yelena: “Then who… Who am I?”

Matt: “Yelena Belova.”

Yelena: “Yelena… I’m… Yelena Belova… the Black Widow…”

[Black Widow (2001) #3 by Devon Grayson, Greg Rucka, and Scott Hampton]

   Of course, Natasha knows Matt very well, and we can assume she knew all along that he would react this way.

Matt (caption): “Over the deafening house music, I pick out one heartbeat. It has to be one of the kids… because my gut clenches with anxiety the closer I get to him.”

Matt: “Ssssh. It’s all right. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m a good guy, see? No fear, kiddo. No fear. You’ve got to be brave–”

[Daredevil vol. 4 #10 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Matt Wilson]

   Matt has had a lot of great moments with young children over the years, and we weren’t planning on including them because showing compassion toward suffering kids– while always touching and wonderful– isn’t really that notable. He’s a good guy. Come on. (We may end up doing a separate post on that, actually…). But we had to include this one because the Purple Children technically count as antagonists, and because we just really like it. He helps them, despite how dangerous they are and the horrible things they do to his emotions, and it seems that his willingness to help them again in the current run may be what caused his life’s most recent implosion.

Matt: “I’m worried about him, Tasha.”

Natasha: “Oh, come on! Clint’s a big boy now– and an Avenger, to boot. He’ll be fine.”

[Daredevil and the Black Widow vol. 1 #99 by Steve Gerber, Sam Kweskin, and Stan Goldberg]

   And of course, there’s this memorable exchange from the masterpiece that is DD 99, which we’re contractually obligated to mention whenever possible. 

Foggy: “He will confound you. He will frustrate you. He will make your choices FOR you, he will manipulate you without CONSULTING you, and you will want to PUNCH him in his self-assured face at least ONCE AN HOUR. […] But he will care about you in a way that no one else ever could.”

[Daredevil vol. 4 #5 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Javier Rodriguez]    

    We wanted to end with this great quote from Foggy, because it exemplifies this side of Matt’s character. He’s not perfect, and he may not always show it, but he does care– to a gut-wrenching degree– about the people around him. 

[thornswithroses]

Power Rangers (2017)

-It’s amazing. We finally have a franchise movie where nonwhite people outnumber the white people. The two female characters are both women of color and interact with each other plenty of times. We actually have an Asian character that gets to play the hero. Seriously, MCU and DC, fuck off. 

-Billy states outright that he is on the autism spectrum. I think it is great that they chose a black boy specifically to represent that. 

-Ok, ok, now let’s talk Trini’s sexuality. It did a better job of LGBT representation compared to the live-action BatB but only marginally. I’m not sure if it’s even clear that the writers have in mind for Trini to be queer. I’m expecting more outright statements and, god forbid, Trini actually crushing on and loving women in the sequels but we shall see.

-Rita being the former green ranger is just brilliant writing. Banks relished her role, you could tell, and while that is infectious, I think it is legitimate that some people have issues with her casting. White-washing is such a serious matter, and, I don’t know, even though the movie was diverse for the most part, it’s still a pain to see yet another role that was originally an Asian woman's now being given to a white one. 

-I feel we did not get much closure on Jason’s relationship with his dad. Sure, it seems they are on more equal footing when they are talking about Jason’s car. Sure, it was sweet to see a big, tough-looking man looking scared about his son’s safety when Angel Grove was getting wrecked. Sure, it was touching to see Jason saving his dad as the Red Ranger and his father now a fan of the Power Rangers, but I would not have minded another scene between the two of them.

-I also wish we delved deeper into why Jason self-sabotaged his football career. 

-Sure, I’m rolling my eyes that they make it that the Red Ranger is automatically the leader of the team when that’s a big debate amongst fans but Jason is likable and pretty empathetic to those around him. It also makes his dynamic with Zordon all the more interesting when they clash.

-I do like that Zordon is a bit flawed and I loved Alpha’s deadpan wit. I would like to see more Zordon angst in the next sequels, but we shall see.

-When they did the original theme in one scene, the audience, including myself, were screaming in utter joy.

-Zack and his mom make me tear up. Like the campfire scene was so sweet and well-done.

All in all, while there were some flaws, the movie is a good balance of good cheese, bright punchiness, and exhilarating grit. I already want to watch it again.