#he's just so messy... I keep rotating him in my mind at all hrs of the day

[olasketches]

I find sukuna's enraged reaction to being pitied so interesting, considering that he, himself, admitted that he didn't expect that someone (or maybe just yuuji) offering him pity would anger him so much. honestly looking at all sukuna's interaction with other characters like jogo, yuuji, gojo... the contrast in how he talks about being strong and how he talks about being weak is quite striking.

despite having a huge superiority complex, he never gives any boasting comments about himself, like gojo for example. he even praises others, sorcerer and curses alike, for their strength, which again is contrary to gojo who often belittles and degrades his opponents. however, sukuna's behaviour is not actually opposite of gojo's, because while he admires others' strength, he finds being weak disgusting in itself. you see, gojo never had a problem with other people being weak because being weak is not something he could ever relate to like "yeah, those guys are weak but how is that my problem?". others being weak never really disgusted him, not like it does sukuna, but rather amused him (probably why he teased and bullied utahime and ichiji so much lol) anyway, my point is that, sukuna's attitude doesn't contrast gojo's, it mirrors it.

gojo's problem was that he was obsessed with being the strongest. he desperately wanted to live up to his title, but not because he had some deep-seated insecurity about being weak, but because that's all he's ever been. he wrapped his entire identity around it, which in result made him believe that he could only relate to people who were just as strong as him. then there is sukuna... who on the other hand... (dramatic pause)... is obsessed with being weak or rather he desperately doesn't want to be seen as someone who's weak. sukuna keeps insulting and belittling yuuji for being weak, despite yuuji CLEARLY not being weak. yuuji's own humanity and the strength he derives from it, exposes sukuna's own deep-seated weakness and dare I say... insecurity.

at the beginning of this post I said how sukuna has a big superiority complex, which now, after the recent canon events it almost borderlines with an inferiority complex. the thing is that, superiority complex and inferiority complex are kinda the same thing. they both stem from a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy, with the only difference being that someone with an inferiority complex tends to express these feelings as anxiety and submissiveness, whereas someone with a superiority complex overcompensates by acting as if they're god's gift to mankind, which is the later for both sukuna and gojo. however, unlike gojo, whose own superiority complex comes from the fact he was treated like a god by everyone in his clan since he was born, sukuna's superiority complex and its origins can still only be found in the subtext. we know that he was born an unwanted little wretch and people hated him, most likely feared him due to his own abnormal appearance and probably later his overwhelming strength. I don't want to dive too much into this since we don't actually know sukuna's backstory, we can only speculate based on what we know. however, it's his conversation with yuuji after he possessed megumi that interest me the most. he says...

Well, saying it from my perspective; why are all of you so weak. Why (are you) so obsessed over living despite being so weak

and let's not forget, sukuna is the only character who thinks yuuji is weak, which makes the rest of his speech all the more interesting, as he continues...

How can living things who keep collapsing easily say that they wish to be happy forever?

now this is funny, because several chapters later he admitted that no matter how many times he tries to break yuuji, he keeps getting back up, he's either contradicting himself again (and well.. he IS) or...

It’s better for all of you to spend your whole life crushing fitting misfortune for you

he's not only referring to yuuji here... sukuna genuinely believes that the weak should spend their whole lives chewing on their suffering, as is their natural state... but why?

after yuuji offered sukuna mercy, sukuna felt looked down upon and got down right pissed, which even shocked sukuna himself. why would that offend him? after all, he KNOWS he's strong not even gojo's taunts could get to him or yorozu trying to teach him about love, something he supposedly already knows about. why did yuuji offering him sympathy enraged him so much? shouldn't he just laugh in his face for believing he could beat him?? it seems like.. MAYBE.. in that moment, yuuji unintentionally touched on a very sore spot there, revealing sukuna's own insecurity: being seen as weak.

[arse-blathanna]

Patterns and Variables

I decided to give the first rvb 60 minute prompt a shot, most of it's below the cut for brevity's sake because this thing is 1875 words long. Ao3 mirror coming tomorrow when I'm off mobile.

Characters: York, Delta. Platonic, PFL era.

York swore rather obviously when the lock in front of him flashed red, another indication of yet another failure. There was a pressure that was seeming to set in behind his right eye, one that he wasn't going to be able forget about so easily. Just another tension headache, it wasn't like that wasn't something that he wasn't getting used to.

All part of the norm ever since the grenade incident, and Maine, and Wyoming and Texas. Dicks.

There was something that had managed to exasperate his problems though. What had once just been something brought on by his own frustrations had grown into something else. Namely, it had to do with the voice that now lived in his head.

Hurricane Delta, always there to rain on his parade. It wasn't to say that York didn't like the AI, or that Delta hadn't made his life easier at all, it was just that there wasn't much preparation he could do for what the AI brought. He'd been told that there would be headaches (sleep problems he hadn't been warned for) and that had held true.

"Agent York," The AI spoke up. "That would be your thirteenth failure to open a holographic lock since my assignment to you. Are you sure that you don't want me to assist you?"

That was one of those questions that York was quickly getting used to hearing. The truth of the matter was that he'd only had the AI for a few days now, and the injury to his eye had only occured about a month before.

It wasn't a good deal, all in all.

So far, he'd been reluctant to go ahead and let the AI help too much. They were partners, sure, but York needed to know that he could actually do his job. He liked his job. And he wasn't about to let it all fall apart so easily. Not because of some assholes bringing live ammo onto the training room floor.

"I dunno, D." York replied, stretching and taking a step away from the simulation. He wished the he didn't have his helmet on. That way he could at least rub at his temple and try to relieve some of his pain, but it wasn't that easy. "I need to be able to do this myself."

"I was assigned to assist you, Agent York." Delta responded, appearing by York's right shoulder in a lime green hologram. "It would be wise to allow me to do so."

York grimaced and looked up at the leaderboard that loomed over the training room floor. There was his name, sitting at third. It wasn't an easy third- Wyoming was right on his tail.

At least, York thought Wyoming was right there. He was good with numbers, always had been, but the leaderboard? A lot of the time be couldn't figure out where the math was coming from on it. Usually, the damn thing looked like gibberish on a mathematical level.

"You are troubled." The AI pointed out, a gentle hum in the back of York's mind. "Does the leaderboard cause you distress?"

"I don't know that I'd call it that." York replied as he tore his gaze away from the leaderboard. "Just thinking about it is all."

Delta was quiet for a moment, and the release of the pulsing in the back of his mind was a comfort. It made him feel a little bit better and quite a bit less pained. York didn't know what he was supposed to say.

He needed to get back to work on the simulation, that was for sure. "It's just that it doesn't make any sense most of the time. I mean..." York paused, looking for words that he often had difficulty finding. "It's not really wrong, but the numbers don't add up. Carolina and Tex are the best, after that it's.." He shrugged. "That's where it gets messy."

Delta hummed in his brain, and it almost hurt but if Delta knew it her sure as hell didn't let York know about that fact. "You don't think that you're worthy of your position?"

That was a question that York hadn't really asked himself before. He tended to just do his job, and yeah, the competition got fun, but York didn't think much else of it. He'd sat at the top of the leaderboard for a day or two and the experience had been hellish.

Regardless, he couldn't quite make sense of it all.

"It's all about the math, Delta."

"If you wanted, I could run the algorithms to find the logical lines used on the leaderboard." Delta offered, and York couldn't help but think that it was different for the AI. A little more caring than was normal.

"That's fine, D." York said, bringing his hands up and stretching his hands, splaying his fingers wide before stepping up towards the lock once more. "I'm about 80% certain that they're gibberish."

"That leaves room for-"

"Leave it, D." York snapped, feeling a little bit guilty for it but not letting himself linger on it. "Mind running the lock simulation again?"

"Acknowledged."

With that, the fresh holographic lock appeared in front of York, and he had to force himself to concentrate hard on it. Viewing a holographic lock tended to be a strain on his eyes as a normal thing, but this was difficult.

A quick look told York plenty though. It was a Grigov 2430-T model simulation, relatively high end but not the most terrible thing out in the world. The best way to go about the particular model was working it symmetrically, York knew that.

Too bad he couldn't actually see the damn thing in three dimensional vision.

But he knew the patterns and he knew the exploits.

All at once, he slipped his fingers into the first layer of the mechanism, glad that his gloves could respond to the hologram and give him a simulation of pressure and resistance. York began to work both hands slowly, rotating the lock 11 clicks on each side simultaneously. It would only get harder from here.

"I am interested," Delta spoke up as York spread his fingers wide to slip the first layer off to the side on both sides. "How did you learn to do locks, Agent York?"

"If you wanted to know something like that, couldn't you just go rooting around in my head?"

Delta's silence spoke volumes.

"Thought so." York said, craning his neck slightly so that he could view the next layer of the lock a little bit easier. "I taught myself."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that I got a set of picks, and taught myself on the lock to my dad's shed." York mumbled calmly. "It was just a matter of-" He spread his hand on his left side a little too far, and the lock flashed red again. "Shit. Reset."

Delta pulsed in his mind, a gentle voice saying 'acknowledged' before speaking again. "The human mind is very intersting."

"You would know." York muttered, checking the lock over again. New model. Scituate RST44. Alternating layers with a sliding mechanism that had to be handled very carefully. Jostling would trigger alarms. Usually used on warehouses. "What's so interesting about the human mind, Delta?"

"The ability of the human mind to recognize and find patterns is remarkable." Delta began calmly, buzzing gently and his little holographic helmet bobbing with the words. "This morning I counted four instances in which you found patterns in the ceiling of your room, one where you thought you saw a face in the decoration on the bathroom wall, and 17 instances where you recognized patterns of behavior in your teammates."

"And what of it?" York asked, finally reaching in so that he could begin to handle the lock. "That's just how people are, D."

"You're finding patterns in which none exist or you only believe that they exist."

York got a little bit more than annoyed by that, because he needed to be able to keep going and Delta needed to shut up and let him work. "What does this have to do with locks?"

"You appear to solve lock mechanisms by memorizing patterns." Delta began calmly. "You know that a lock will work on certain parameters and yet you cannot make guarantees for other variables."

"Yes." York muttered, using a thumb to tap the first switch on the lock. He jiggled it carefully, feeling the resistance to the right, and so York began to work it from the left. "But that's how I get my job done."

Delta pulsed in his mind again. "I just find it interesting." The AI offered. "You rely on factors which cannot be accounted for but there is no name for them."

York paused, feeling the lock release and sliding in to the next mechanism on it. "It's luck, D." York explained calmly. The lock waited in front of him, and York frowned. It was beginning to make his head hurt again and blur back into one image. Not good. "Mind helping me out?"

"How may I assist?" The AI asked, somehow managing to sound a little too eager despite his constant monotone.

York blinked. "If you can find a way to compensate on my left-"

"Acknowledged." York felt the pulse in his mind get more and more insistent, worse and worse and even painful as the AI reached into his nerves and began to do his work. The vision on his left side seemed to get a little bit better, but York was sure that was an illusion. Maybe he was just seeing double in pain. That made sense.

He waited for a little while, and when his vision managed to unknit itself, York reached in and began to work the lock and found it just a little bit easier. The only problem was that he managed to make it trigger a couple times over, and York figured that had to do with letting the AI finally help.

It was near the end of his session when York finally got a lock open successfuly, and at that point he had close to a migraine. Either way, the AI was helping and York felt like the two of them had managed to bond at least a little bit.

Delta was his partner, whether he liked it or not. York just needed to be open to the AI doing his job. Pride was something that he could set aside for now. It was only going to be going up from there.

And really, if all Delta was going to do was annoy him about patterns, York thought that he could live with that. There were certainly worse fates.

That said, there was only one way to go and that was up. Not that York wanted much higher on the leaderboard than he was. No, he'd use Delta for good and be the best second for Carolina possible.

And Delta would be happy to be along for the ride, whether he liked it or not. Now all York had to do was get the AI a little more personable and get Delta a better understanding of how actual people worked outside of pure math.

He could live with that.