#he's just a brilliant neurosurgeon who's been looking for a chance
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August 1984. This won't change anyone's feelings about cult movie perennial THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI: ACROSS THE EIGHTH DIMENSION one way or the other, but if you're wondering what the hell the deal is supposed to be with Buckaroo Banzai and his team, the answer is, "It's an obvious pastiche of the pulp hero Doc Savage."
Launched in 1933, Doc Savage was one of the leading adventure heroes of the pulp magazines. Doc (whose full name was Clark Savage Jr.) was scientifically trained from childhood to the peak of human perfection, singularly adept in everything from mechanical engineering to medicine to martial arts. He had a secret headquarters called the Fortress of Solitude and a whole array of specially designed vehicles and equipment, but he was also a public figure, with offices in the Empire State Building. Doc had a team of eccentric, highly specialized aides — Monk Mayfair, Ham Brooks, Renny Renwick, Long Tom Roberts, and Johnny Littlejohn — who each had a particular skill and a couple of distinctive personality traits (for instance, Monk was a skilled industrial chemist, but also an "ape-like" brute with a ferocious temper). They were sometimes aided by Doc's cousin, Pat Savage, who was almost as capable as Doc, although he tried to keep her out of the fray because she was (gasp) a girl.
This was a fairly common pattern for pulp heroes. For instance, the pulp version of the Shadow (who was distinctly different from the radio incarnation) relied on a whole network of agents, some appearing only once or twice, some recurring across many of his published adventures. From a narrative standpoint, the agents and assistants had two principal purposes: The first was to offset the rather overpowered heroes — pulp heroes didn't necessarily have superhuman powers, but even those who didn't tended to be preternaturally skilled at nearly everything, so it was convenient to limit their direct involvement in an adventure to crucial moments, and let the assistants (who could be much more fallible) do much of the legwork. The second object was to beef up the characterization. Doc Savage was morally irreproachable as well as absurdly multi-talented, so there wasn't a lot to be done with him character-wise, while maintaining the mystique of a character like the Shadow required him to remain a fairly closed book.
Although the pulp heroes were a huge influence on early comic book superheroes like Superman and Batman, some of these conventions didn't translate well to other media: In a 13-page comic book story or half-hour radio episode, having too many characters was cumbersome (and expensive, where it meant hiring extra actors), and comic book readers normally expected to follow their four-color heroes quite closely, even before the breathless internal monologue became a genre staple. So, Superman inherited Doc Savage's Fortress of Solitude, but not his "Fabulous Five" assistants, while heroes like Batman and Captain America generally stuck with a single sidekick rather than a team of aides. Even the late Doc Savage pulp adventures (which ended in 1949) de-emphasized the assistants to keep the focus more on Doc himself. Ultimately, the pulp heroes didn't really have the right narrative center of gravity for visual media, which is why they've become relatively obscure, despite repeated revival attempts. The 1975 Doc Savage movie with Ron Ely, for instance, was a notorious commercial flop, and elements like Doc's childishly bickering assistants seemed odd and dated, even taking into account the film's nostalgia-bait '30s period setting.
What BUCKAROO BANZAI tried to do was to bring that old pulp hero formula into the modern era with a big infusion of '80s style and humor. Like Doc Savage, Buckaroo is a wildly gifted polymath (in the opening scenes, he rushes from performing brain surgery to test-driving his Jet Car through a mountain), so famous and important a personage that he puts the president of the United States on hold, and he surrounds himself with an array of brilliant, eccentric aides with silly nicknames who play in his rock band when they're not fighting crime or doing advanced scientific experiments.
Alas, judging by the poor box office returns, general audiences were no more amenable to the '80s version of this formula than they had been to DOC SAVAGE: MAN OF BRONZE nine years earlier, even with the 1984 film's extraordinary cast and memorably witty dialogue. Granted, even many of the movie's most diehard fans are baffled by the convoluted plot — a crucial expository scene where the leader of the Black Lectroids (Rosalind Cash) explains much of what's going on is nigh-incomprehensible without subtitles or closed captioning — but beyond that, THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI is essentially an extended riff on a particular slice of pop culture that had long since dropped out of the public consciousness, which is both part of its charm and also its commercial undoing, at least as mainstream entertainment.
(Also, if you're wondering, yes, the TOM STRONG series by Alan Moore and Chris Sprouse is also an obvious Doc Savage pastiche, although at least some of its plot and character concepts were probably retoolings of unused ideas from Moore's earlier Maximum Press/Awesome Comics SUPREME series, which was an extended pastiche of the pre-Crisis Superman.)
#movies#buckaroo banzai#the adventures of buckaroo banzai across the eighth dimension#w.d. richter#peter weller#jeff goldblum#clancy brown#doc savage#pulp heroes#street and smith#walter m baumhofer#the shadow#michael santoro#pepe serna#billy vera#lewis smith#one of the amusing things about the jeff goldblum character#is that his eccentricity clearly precedes his involvement with buckaroo banzai#he's just a brilliant neurosurgeon who's been looking for a chance#to wear his roy rogers outfit and fight crime
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It ends with us review
Warning: Small spoilers ⚠️
Trigger warning: mentions of domestic abuse
There is no such thing as bad people. We’re all just people who sometimes do bad things
About: Sometimes it is the one who loves you who hurts you the most. Lily hasn’t always had it easy, but that’s never stopped her from working hard for the life she wants. She’s come a long way from the small town where she grew up—she graduated from college, moved to Boston, and started her own business. And when she feels a spark with a gorgeous neurosurgeon named Ryle Kincaid, everything in Lily’s life seems too good to be true. Ryle is assertive, stubborn, maybe even a little arrogant. He’s also sensitive, brilliant, and has a total soft spot for Lily. And the way he looks in scrubs certainly doesn’t hurt. Lily can’t get him out of her head. But Ryle’s complete aversion to relationships is disturbing. Even as Lily finds herself becoming the exception to his “no dating” rule, she can’t help but wonder what made him that way in the first place. As questions about her new relationship overwhelm her, so do thoughts of Atlas Corrigan—her first love and a link to the past she left behind. He was her kindred spirit, her protector. When Atlas suddenly reappears, everything Lily has built with Ryle is threatened.
Author: Collen Hoover
Rating: 2.44/5 ✨
Overall, I thought the book was okay. I’ve spent a long time mulling this over in my head (like over a month), so I think my opinions are fixed. I think had I written the review, just after reading, my thoughts would be different and the rating possibly higher - I read this book in a day so writing a review immediately would have been a rash decision, but after discussing with a friend and pondering for a month I think my opinions are set. The book starts off with Lily after her father’s funeral, she finds herself on the rooftop. Here she meets Ryle, after a truthful conversation they both go their separate ways. Due to a series of events, they meet again and after a great amount of convincing they end up dating, obviously throughout her relationship with Ryle there are many hardships as well as her fleeting thoughts of her past love – Atlas.
I think this has to be one of my lowest ratings I’ve given a book and a part of the reason is that there were quite a few things I just didn’t like about the book. Firstly, I hated the relationship between Alyssa and Lily, I just felt after she revealed she was dating Ryle there was just a lot of awkwardness and tension between the two, I also felt it was quite odd Lily hired her on the spot like there was no background or qualification checks. I also hated the connection between Ryle and Alyssa like out of every single person in Boston they had to be related, it overall just felt weird. It’s like Alyssa knew Ryle relationship-wise wasn’t going to be that great (it seemed there was a lot of hesitancy between the two) but in the end encouraged her to give him chances. That really annoyed me that one time in the book where Ryle is abusive towards Lily, Alyssa asks from a sisterly perspective for Lily to give him another chance. I do like at the end she did firmly encourage Lily to leave him. The plot point, where they have a 3rd sibling, I felt was a bit irrelevant, like it explains why Ryle is the way he is, but it also just doesn’t. I wish it was developed a bit more, personally for me it felt very surface level. Lilys pregnancy I also didn’t like (then again I’m not that big on pregnancy tropes) just for the simple reason that I felt she left for the baby and not herself. In some ways that is what she wanted her mother to do (to leave for herself), it makes me question well If she didn’t have the child would she have left or not – because she still loved him, but it came to a point where she was sacrificing herself for him which makes the parallel between her and her mother even more evident. All that being said one of my favourite qualities Lily has is that’s she’s bold and compassionate – we see this when she helps Atlas and, in some ways, see her boldness on the rooftop. However, her compassion was one of her downfalls.
Let’s talk about the two love interests Ryle and Atlas. First let’s talk about Ryle, on paper he seems like the perfect boyfriend – career driven, hardworking and family orientated. However, underneath all of that is a man with serious anger issues, at the start I didn’t really see it but when you look back the signs were all there (I mean he literally threw a chair when we first met him). I think what is really interesting with the book is Ryle starts off somewhat as a ‘good’ guy, compared to other books I’ve read from the get-go the abuser is a horrible person so it’s easier for us to see the signs and realise the person is not worth our time. But Hoover does an amazing job by not only making Lily fall in love but also the reader, which makes it infinitely harder to in some ways let go off Ryle, let alone differentiate between the two personas. Now onto Atlas, I’m not going to spend a lot of time discussing Atlas as I haven’t got much I want to say. Atlas as a character I’m not really that attached to, that is mainly due to the fact we only knew him in the past and although the past was important the present was more prominent, so it was hard to have an opinion on present Atlas. Past Atlas I thought was fine, It did though rub me the wrong way when he kept asking for Lily’s age, to me personally he just felt a bit too flat, like I didn’t feel that great of a connection towards him and because of that I didn’t really ship him with Lily. Present Atlas, I felt was better, but I wished he was more prominent as I yet again didn’t feel that connected to him at times, he just felt like a plot device. Atlas would show up, would be gone for some time then 50+ pages later he would come back again, it would have been much better if Atlas’ appearances were more consistent in the present.
Lastly, I would like to touch upon the fact that this isn’t actually a romance book, which is what I first thought the book was. When I first heard about it ends with us, from the blurb, I assumed it would be a romance with a love triangle. Yes, there are themes of love/romance, and you could stretch in some sense that there is a love triangle but, in the end, it is not intended to be one. It ends with us is a story about Lily, who is a person who went through and suffered from domestic abuse and decided to end the intergenerational cycle (‘My mother went through it. I went through it. I’ll be damned if I allow my daughter to go through it.’…. ‘It stops here. With me and you. It ends with us’). To end this review If you are planning on reading the book, I would recommend not reading the epilogue. I just feel like she needs some time alone and I just hate how ambiguous it was – it felt like Hoover was really throwing everything away or the sake of shipping.
Last book review ❤️🔥
#tw: domestic abuse#it ends with us#colleen hoover#bookblr#booklr#book reviews#gatherreviews#gathereads#gatherbreaksdownbooktokrecs#after an age and a bit#i finally finished this#there is also definitely more I wanted to say#I’m not very happy with the end results#but I’m satisfied so I guess that is enough
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Iced Coffee - Dark!Stephen Strange x Reader.
Summary:
You met Stephen Strange your last year of medical school. He was godlike and you were infatuated. You liked him and in return he humiliated you. Years later you were over it; made a career for yourself.
He saw you again, remembered you, wanted you. He was going to show you that he had changed, win you over. You would be his and he would protect you forever, he just had to prove himself.
Series Warnings:
18+ adult content, Dark, Rape/noncon, obsessive behavior, stalking, doctor/medical themes, mild/moderate doctor kink, needles (chapter one, not sex related), violence, abuse, kidnapping, forced marriage, smut, escape attempt, dirty talk (my best attempt at least).
Potential warnings, a non-exhaustive list: Oral, praise kink, mild degradation (Will not include whore or slut)
You can join the tag list here.
A/N: Now that I’ve been writing for a few months I’m experimenting with different styles. If you’ve read my other stuff lmk what you think (ask, comment, message, whatever.)
Thank you to the unnamed requester and @couldntbedamned for this request. 🖤
By Clicking keep reading you confirm that you are over 18 and understand that this content is mature and potentially triggering.
CHAPTER 1
Stephen was the most brilliant man you had ever met. School was a joke to him, he easily outperformed everyone no matter the subject. He was confident, lived his life with this air of superiority, and you were obsessed. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of him, sat next to him in class, helped him when he asked. He was nice to you too, he was an asshole almost all the time but when he talked to you it was gentle, respectful.
It was October third when it happened, the date would forever be burned in your memory. He turned to you and asked you the date.
“It’s october third,” you smiled.
He thanked you and touched his hand to your arm and you felt a spark, you were sure he felt it too.
But he didn’t feel it, you were so very wrong.
You found out just how wrong you were that evening in the worst possible way. It was so unexpected, so hurtful. You walked into the small coffee shop you and your friends frequented and saw them all in the corner, socializing. A stab of pain struck you in the chest; nobody invited you. Maybe you should have backed away, recognized you weren’t wanted but you heard your name. You thought they had seen you, called you over.
They hadn’t seen you though, weren’t talking to you.
They were talking about you.
“Poor thing, thinks she has a chance with me,” you heard Stephen laugh.
You walked behind him, tears welling in your eyes and someone nudged him awkwardly. He looked up and made eye contact with you. A tear fell down your face as you backed away from the group. It was like a nightmare, like looking down and seeing you were naked, but this wasn’t a dream. It was horrifyingly real.
“Pathetic,” you heard him say to the laughing group of people you called friends.
It broke you.
You spent the remainder of your time in school avoiding him and every friend who had been there. You poured yourself into your studies and came out of it stronger than before, like a phoenix being reborn - You were brand new, beautiful, powerful.
You became a doctor and scientist and a damned good one at that. But Stephen was always better. Every conference, every medical magazine, he was there; always at the top. You could never escape him.
Until his accident.
He was suddenly gone, you couldn't believe it. Dr. Stephen Strange, the most accomplished neurosurgeon, lost his hands. The shock wiped through the medical community, a travesty they said. It wasn’t a travesty to you though, It was almost uncomfortable how happy you were at his downfall. It felt so freeing to see the great and mighty Doctor Strange fall so far, for your bully to lose the thing that was most precious to them. He became irrelevant, dropped from magazines and conferences and disappeared without a trace. You were truly content for the first time in your life. You were free.
Stephen flexed his fingers and smiled. It was a long road to recovery but he did it, he was a neurosurgeon again and even better now. He was godlike, able to perform surgeries that he could only dream of before. He wasn’t just going to get his life back, he would flourish, go above and beyond his already impressive list of accomplishments, he would dominate.
He walked into the conference full of confidence, an arrogant smile plastered on his face. The gasps and stares made him stand even straighter, walk with even more purpose. He always loved being the center of attention, it made him feel superior.
It was his addiction, to be special, better than everyone around him. The craving for greatness was a consequence of his birthright. He needed to be better because he was better. His brain was like a radiant flame, he shined brighter than everyone around him and he knew it.
“Stephen, good to see you,” a group of colleagues surrounded him, patting him on the back. He felt at home, this was where he belonged.
The auditorium started filling and he followed the group in, sitting in the back and opening his pamphlet. It wasn’t usually his type of lecture to listen to but he had time to kill before his next panel. The speaker, a specialist in infectious disease, worked at New York Hospital where he would start back on Monday. He closed his pamphlet and waited patiently for the presentation to start.
She walked onto the stage and his body tensed as he watched her prepare for her speech. Stephen’s brain was on fire, the attraction to this stranger like nothing he had ever felt. His thoughts turned less than appropriate as he stared at her ass. He saw no panty lines and couldn’t help but imagine what did or did not lie beneath the skirt's thin fabric. She wasn’t a conventionally attractive woman but that made her even more beautiful in his mind. She was perfect for him, a mix of everything he was physically attracted to in one person. Women had thrown themselves at him but he didn’t want any of them, he wanted her.
Then she started speaking and a new wave of attraction washed through him as her intelligence became apparent. Who was this woman? He rarely felt attraction like this, attraction that consumed onto his whole being. He needed to get to know her, needed to touch her, smell her hair, hold her hand. He was obsessed.
He didn’t even realize her presentation had ended until everyone started applauding. Stephen stood and clapped along. He watched her exit the stage and as he walked closer her face suddenly flashed into his memory. He knew her years ago in med school. She liked him, she followed him around like a puppy.
Excitement built as he approached her, but she gave him one look and her face fell into a grimace.
“Stephen Strange,” He held his hand out.
Her reply was cold, “We went to school together,” she spit, ignoring his outstretched hand.
“Yes, we did, didn’t we. I’m very interested in what you’re working on. Maybe we could get together, have dinner?”
“No,” she turned and walked away from him.
“Hey,” He yelled at her, but she kept walking, giving no acknowledgement of his obvious frustration.
It didn’t take him long to catch up, he reached out and grabbed her shoulder pulling her around to face him.
“What is this hostility about?” He asked.
Her body went rigid and she wrenched her shoulder out of his hand, “Poor thing, thinks she has a chance with me,” She said through gritted teeth.
He remembered in that moment what had happened, how he used her for short lived friendships.
“I’m not that person anymore, I’m sorry, let me show you,” be begged.
“You called me pathetic,” She snarled.
“It was so long ago, please.”
She stood up tall and leaned into him. “Pathetic,” she called him before walking away again.
He stood there dazed, never having been discarded so callously. He couldn't leave it like this, he would show her he had changed and she would forgive him. He was determined. He was the great Doctor Strange and he could do anything.
A sob took over your body as you read the little piece of paper. It was over, no more money for research. The conference was your last hope to find funding and you didn’t succeed. You looked at a little blue vial and picked it up. It was a bad idea, you knew it was, but this medicine could help so many people. If you didn’t try it right then you may have never known if it worked or not. You removed your jacket, swabbed your arm and filled a syringe. A tear fell down your cheek as you depressed the plunger.
It immediately started burning, beginning in your arm and flowing throughout your veins until you were screaming in pain. The room spun around and your vision started to blur. You stood and took a few shaky steps before falling to the ground and curling into a ball. Quiet whimpers escaped your lips as you struggled not to pass out from the pain.
A knock rang through your ears and you lifted your head slightly.
“Hey, it’s me,” called a voice from the other side of the door.
Stephen, of course he would show up at the worst moment possible. You were in so much pain and part of you wanted to ask for help but you couldn’t. If anyone found out you could lose your licence and Stephen was someone you were sure would turn you in.
“It’s not a good time,” you yelled.
“I just wanted to apologize for my behavior, I was an asshole but I’ve changed. I really have.”
“Go Away Stephen.”
The doorknob jiggled and you held your breath. You had locked it, you were sure you had.
“Hey, I’m getting worried, open the door,” he demanded.
“I’m sad, ok, lost funding for my research. I don’t want you to see me cry. Happy? If you’ve actually changed you’ll leave!” you put your hand over your mouth to cover a groan, the exhaustion of talking having caused intense pain in your lungs.
“Oh, um, sorry to bother you,” he murmured.
You sighed in relief as the sound of his footsteps disappeared and then hugged your aching body, shivering and crying softly as excruciating pain moved around. It suddenly felt like you had been thrown in a freezer. It Was so cold, why were you so cold?
You shivered and cried on the floor for hours until sleep finally took you, giving a slight respite from the worst day of your life.
Series master list ~ Next Chapter
#dark!stephen strange#stephen strange x you#Stephen strange x reader#dark!stephen strange x reader#dark fic#dark marvel#dark!mcu
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Strange Love
Request: Would you write for Dr. Strange & Reader? If yes, reader is his wife & before the accident he never respected her, even though she is a Dr like him, he belittles her, doesn't talk to her, feels ashamed. Later becoming the master, he sees her through portal that how dedicated she is & how dearly she loves him. All fluffy & maybe a passionate love making?
Pairing: Dr. Strange x Reader
Characters: Christine Palmer, Ofc
Warnings: angst, abandonment, Stephen being a douche, accidents, arranged marriage, smut, unprotected sex, comforting, fluff, remorse
A/N: Okay, this is my first-time writing smut for Dr. Strange.
“Why weren’t you at the gala with Stephen?” Christine, your best friend asks. “We were all wondering why you did not attend.” Blinking a few times, you must process what your friend just said.
“Gala, oh-yes. I had a terrible migraine and told Stephen to go alone, you know I didn’t want to ruin his night with my stupid problems,” you lie, not meeting your friend’s eyes.
“Sorry to hear,” Christine stiffens a smile, knowing you lied again to hide Stephen did not tell you about the gala last night. “How about we have a girl’s night next weekend?”
“I don’t think you should waste your precious time, Christine. Don’t you want to become the second-best?” Your husband smirks, not sparing you a glance. Anytime you talk to one of his colleagues he acts as if you do not exist.
Stephen always gives you the feeling that he belittles you, not taking your career seriously as you are only a pediatrist to him. You love working with children, saving their life’s but to Stephen, it is not the job his wife should have chosen.
Even though you are a doctor, had the best grades he acts as if you are not smart enough to talk to one of the neurosurgeons.
“I am better than you one day,” Christine smirks, not caring Stephen glares at her. “Even Y/N could beat you, but she chose the best job ever, saving the lives of our future.”
Stephen sneers, shaking his head he shrugs your talent off like it is a burden to hear someone talk about you and your work.
“Do you know how I became the best, Christine,” your friend groans and you give her a weak smile knowing Stephen will not give up.
“Enlighten me, Dr. Strange, tell me your secrets,” while you mouth a goodbye to Christine she gives you as sad smile, not liking your husband ignored you again.
“Study and practice. Years of it.” Stephen muses, not recognizing you left the table minutes ago. “You should follow my example.”
“No thanks,” huffing Christine gets up to point toward the empty chair. “I don’t want to become like you, heartless and oblivious to the only person loving you, Dr. Strange. Stop treating her like she’s a liability.”
“Listen, not that this is any of your business but I'm using trans-sectioned spinal cords to stimulate neurogenesis in the central nervous system, and she puts broken legs into a cast or cures a cold,” Stephen replies coldly.
“Why did you marry her if there is no respect or love on your side, Stephen? This is ridiculous, even for you. Everyone was missing your wife last night, everyone but you.” Christine storms off.
Arranged marriage. Stephen never thought he would end up chained to the foreign woman in his bed. He never found the time or energy to get to know you better.
When his mentor, the man at his alma mater offered him the position at the hospital if he marries you, Stephen took the chance. Now years later he still got no clue who you are, and honestly, he’s not interested in finding out.
“Do you have to go to work? Do you want me to make you breakfast?” sleepily you turn around to find Stephen half-way out of the room, not answering your question. “I get it��”
Days passed without Stephen sparing you a glance. You wanted to tell him about the new position your boss offered to you.
Knowing it’s useless to even mention anything according to you or your job you keep the good news to yourself.
Usually, you would have offered to make dinner but knowing Stephen will refuse to join, you left the house to aimless walk around town.
Panicked you run through the hallway, try to find anyone who can tell you what happened to your husband.
“Christine,” panting you run toward your friend. “What happened?”
“Stephen had an accident, it looks, bad,” she whispers, not meeting your eyes. She can hear desperate sobs leave your lips believing your husband will die.
“No, god no, Y/N. He’s not going to die, but his hands got damaged and no one is as good as your husband.”
“He will live, anything else doesn’t matter to me,” you sniffle. Christine bites her tongue, not saying what’s on her mind.
Months spend with research; expensive experimental treatment and no results took a toll on Stephen and you. He is moody, always offended when you try to help him.
When you suggested taking the job as a professor your father offered to him Stephen threw things at you calling you things which never left his lips before. Now you barely talk to him, only make sure he eats.
Before you believed Stephen will turn toward you one day, that he will need time to get to know you better. You even believed his accident could be the chance for you to prove you will stand by his side no matter what.
Stephen had other plans…
He’s gone for months now. Stephen said something about a healer and left without looking back. You took the new job to pay the debts Stephen left before running off to find a non-existent healer.
“Y/N, Sweetheart you should think about my words. Divorce Stephen,” your father tries. “He’s nothing but a burden. Not the brilliant neurosurgeon you married.”
“I don’t care if he’s a neurosurgeon or not,” your fist slams onto the table causing your father to flinch. “I love Stephen, even if he doesn’t love me back.”
Unbeknownst by you, Stephen found the person he was looking for and so much more. He found a world and powers beyond his imagination and now, as a master he inherits the powers to open portals to see how the world has changed since he disappeared.
“Don’t be a fool, daughter,” your father sighs deeply, opening a folder to show you the number of debts you will have to pay back. “I can help you if you agree to part ways with Stephen.”
A bitter taste on your tongue you get up, toss the napkin onto the table before you turn to leave your father’s dining room.
“Love means to not give up on a person only as he’s in a bad place, father. I will not leave Stephen even if he will never come back. I meant what I said,” taking your coat you do not turn around to not show your father your tears. “I loved him, always will, even if it’s unrequited.”
Stephen takes a deep breath watching you through one of the portals he learned to create.
He never took the time to get to know you, never saw the love burning in your heart but now, his mind and heart are wide open when he recalls all the nights you waited for him, eyes red-rimmed as you cried yourself to sleep.
“No, I haven’t heard of Stephen in months, Christine. Can we just not,” sniffling you wipe your eyes, “talk about him now? Dad wanted me to divorce my husband. I drown in debts and I can barely concentrate at work. I am close to losing my job too.”
“Y/N,” a deep voice calls your name and you drop your phone taking a step backward. “It’s me, Stephen.”
“Were you at a costume party? Is it Halloween, no…it’s too early,” blinking a few times you drink your husband's outfit in. He is wearing an odd necklace which looks like an eye. A red cape frames his body and you wonder since when Stephen wears such ‘eccentric’ clothes.
“I found the place I was looking for, Y/N,” his voice softer than you remember Stephen steps closer and you take another step backward. “All the wonders I have seen, felt, and experienced, my love.”
“Okay, Stephen,” stammering you look for your phone, fearing your husband lost his mind. “I get you were at a strange place with odd people but running around like a,” not finding a word for the costume he wears you point toward the cape.
“Magician, a master to be correct,” Stephen smiles, he really smiles, and your stomach drops, believing he got drugged. “Look,” the cape leaves his body and you suddenly feel dizzy when the fabric wraps around your body to push you into your husband’s arms.
“I am dreaming,” falling against Stephen’s chest you lose consciousness. “You’re not here.”
“My love, how do you feel?” Stephen whispers while his cape drapes around your body.
“Stephen, what is that thing?” scared you press your body to Stephen’s chest, shaking like a leaf. “Where were you and what’s going on?”
“It’s a long story, but don’t be afraid my love, he’ll not hurt you,” his hands gently cup your face and you wonder what Stephen is up to when his lips silence your mind. His tongue sweeps over the roof of your mouth and you whimper silently.
“Where have you been?” He is picking you up, ignoring your question. Heart racing, mind clouded you let him carefully place you onto your shared bed.
Just now your eyes land on his hands, his healed hands. “Your hands,” gasping you watch Stephen run his hands over your arms, caressing the skin with his fingertips.
“So beautiful and warm, soft and pure,” his voice lulls you into a cloud of warmth and you close your eyes, just feeling his lips touch your neck. “Can you forgive me for not seeing. For being blind for too long?”
His hands carefully open your dressing gown and you gasp, feeling his erection prominent against your thigh. Lips travel down your collarbone and you cry out when Stephen suckles one nipple into his mouth.
Sex was always like a duty to Stephen. Clean, fast, and without any passion but the man working his way down your body to press a chaste kiss to your mound could be a stranger.
“Let me take this off,” voice thick with lust now he slides your panties down your legs, groaning as your heat is at full display. “Did I ever tell you that your aura is overwhelming?”
“Aura,” gasping you watch him strip his clothes off in a hurry. Your eyes roam his body and you wonder how his hands can grip your thighs.
Months ago, he could barely hold a fork and now he spreads your legs, holds you open to settle between your thighs.
“It’s like looking at a rainbow or something indescribable to watch you open up for me,” shuddering under Stephen’s gaze you reach out to touch him. His breathing quickens when you wrap your hand around his length to stroke him slowly.
There is something in your husband’s eyes you never saw before – adoration, love even. He is pressing his lips to yours, as you let go of his length to slide your fingers through his hair.
“Stephen,” a broken moan leaves your lips feeling the tip slip in. Your hands grasp for anything to hold on tight when he slowly sinks into your heat. “I’ve missed you.”
“How could you miss me, the cold-hearted man ignoring you too long,” whimpering you wrap your legs around Stephen’s waist, not answering his question as the first thrust takes your breath away. “I wish that I was a better man.”
Between kisses, soft touches, and whispered words Stephen takes his time. His hips roll deliberate against yours, letting you feel his twitching length with every thrust. “Cum for be beautiful.”
“I…I can’t,” crying out you grip his shoulders, not liking the cape floats close to the bed. “He’s looking at us.”
“OUT!” Stephen yells and the cape leaves the room. “Now back to you, Y/N.”
Lips nibbling along your neck your husband hums against you with every long stroke. “Now cum for me.”
A tiny whimper leaves your lips, followed by a scream of his name when you fall, hard. Your blunt nails bite into his back feeling his warmth fill you. Another new development. Usually, Stephen used a condom, but not this time.
“You know, now I gotta pee thanks to you,” laughing at your words Stephen looks down at you, a smirk on his lips. “Doctors advice, baby.”
“You mean magic exists, just like different realities. That cape is magical and,” humming you close your eyes to process everything Stephen told you. “Now you are the protector of New York?”
“Something like that, Y/N. Do you want to meet Wong?” Humming you rest your head onto Stephen’s chest, wondering if the new man by your side will change again.
“I am not only thankful that being a master opened my mind and healed my body. It also made me see I was an awful husband and human being,” Stephen kisses your hair, smiling as you sleep peacefully. “It’s strange, the feeling of loving you but I kinda like it…”
All works Tags
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Marvel Tags
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#Strange Love#stephen strange#stephen strange fanfiction#stephen strange x reader#stephen x you#stephen x reader#angst#smut#doctor stephen strange#marvel fanfiction#marvel one shot#marvel tag#mcu#stephen strange fanfic
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today’s 3 AM notes:
Instead of writing 911 fic like a nice fan asked you to, consider: The Untamed characters as first responders
this is what hyperfixation looks like friends
okay but seriously
Wei Wuxian in Buck’s role as the badass, risk-taking, does dumb shit and looks great doing it firefighter
Is raising A-Yuan and everyone on the crew is like ‘wait he has a kid?’
New to the crew as he left home at 16 (thrown out by his mother), dropped out of high school, fell in with a bad crowd, may have been in a cult for a little while? he’s not actually sure. A-Yuan may or may not be his child, there’s a lot he doesn’t recall exactly, but when he got out he brought A-Yuan with him because the situation was pretty bad.
Is always ready to climb a roller coaster or jump from one building to another
Lan Wangji: I know there’s a temptation to make him the police officer but I love him as a paramedic
Never blinks at anything. Sees the wildest shit and just says ‘mn’ and starts doing his job.
Comes from a family of doctors. Lan Xichen is a renowned neurosurgeon. He’s viewed as a bit of a black sheep because he has an unfortunate adrenaline habit and after one in-the-field tracheotomy he never went back.
When Wei Wuxian joins the crew and starts pulling off stunts, he Disapproves Very Much. Angry at his own boner. This??? This is what he likes???
Wen Qing is the other paramedic, obviously.
Meng Yao as the other firefighter. Technically brilliant, has every handbook and manual memorized, can handle any situation. Instincts aren’t bad but he can’t teach them to himself and it really annoys him.
One good thing about a complete AU is I don’t have to deal with Meng Yao possibly being evil because I can just skip over all that shit.
On the other hand, he is very clinical and analytical in the field to the point where it can worry others. Meng Yao never thinks “maybe if we took a huge risk, we could save both these people”. Meng Yao chooses the one with the best chance of survival and saves that person. Does not lose sleep afterwards. Will probably fight with Wei Wuxian about it a lot.
ETA: Obviously, obviously, has an enormous crush on Lan Xichen, who visits his brother at the station occasionally.
Fire Captain Nie Mingjue because he’s the only rational adult in the story. Also, those biceps, that chest, mm honey yes.
Nie Huaisang as the 911 operator. This stuns everyone who meets him. He’s a complete flake, flunked out of college, never knows whether he’s coming or going. Nobody believes that once he’s plugged in and on a call he is the coolest person under pressure they will ever meet. They have literally talked to him on the radio but still don’t believe it was him. He must have a twin. With the same name.
Jiang Cheng as the police sergeant that they work with frequently. He and Wei Wuxian fell out of touch for a while. Now they argue whenever they see each other.
Meanwhile Wei Wuxian is always telling the other firefighters about how he has a little brother who’s a brilliant and amazing police officer, and Jiang Cheng brags about his older brother who fell into a bad situation but managed to pull himself out and get his shit together for the sake of his kid.
It gives everyone migraines when they realize these two are the brothers they are constantly talking about.
“But you fight literally all the time!” “Well, yeah, we’re brothers.”
Jiang Cheng has a K-9 partner because Wei Wuxian had a bunch of therapy to cure his phobia when he decided he wanted to be a firefighter.
So much hurt/comfort potential! So! Much! I mean, how many times do the characters in 911 end up in the hospital???
Okay now that I’ve basically written the whole fic in a tumblr post, I’ll be going...
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Starker Fic - The Way It Goes - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5| Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 |
Doctor Strange needs Tony’s help. It’s a lot to ask of him, but he’s the only one who can do it.
--
Peter sits up abruptly in bed, woken suddenly by that tell-tale tingle of something going wrong.
Tony’s side of the bed is empty, the rumpled sheets still warm to the touch. Peter can hear that it’s still raining hard outside, there’s an odd sort of rhythmic beeping somewhere in the distance, and there are voices just outside the bedroom. He puts on his boxers and grabs the nearest shirt – Tony’s from the size of it. He puts his uninjured arm through one sleeve and lets the other side drape over his slinged shoulder, leaving it unbuttoned.
Opening the bedroom door, he finds Tony standing in the hallway speaking to someone.
“Tony?” Peter calls out. “What’s going on?”
The two men turn at the sound of his voice. The other man with Tony is Stephen Strange.
“Damn that mutation,” Strange mutters, too low for someone without Peter’s ears to pick up. Neither of them seem to hear that weird noise beeping gratingly in the background.
“What are you doing here?” Peter asks him, frowning.
“I need Tony’s help,” Strange replies.
Peter glances at Tony, who looks apprehensive and uncharacteristically fearful. Peter immediately straightens up, ready to be on the defensive. “For what?”
“I’m not from this universe,” Strange says. “My world is in danger. Tony is the only one who can save it. He needs to-”
“If this is about the Pym particles and the quantum tunnel, I’m not doing it,” Tony interrupts. “Not if there’s even the tiniest chance it could bring Thanos back.”
“What?” Peter is completely lost. He holds both hands up in front of him. “Can everybody just back up for a second here? And what the hell is that noise?”
Tony frowns at Peter. Then his eyes widen in realization and he takes out his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants, tapping away on it rapidly.
Peter turns to Strange. “What do you mean you’re from another universe?”
“There is a multiverse, an infinite number of worlds,” Strange explains. “And not just dark, fathomless dimensions, but also worlds that are similar to yours, running in parallel, some with few, others with many differences. I am from one of these worlds, and it’s facing total annihilation due to the destruction of our set of the Infinity Stones.”
“Bullshit,” Tony counters, conjuring up a hologram from his phone, showing six indicators blinking in tandem with the beeping sounds Peter has been hearing, rotating in a circle, each of them glowing a different colour. “You’ve got all the Infinity Stones with you right now.”
Strange raises an eyebrow at him.
Tony makes a sharp gesture at the hologram and the beeping noises cease. “That’s a security alert I’ve been developing to detect the presence of the Infinity Stones. Didn’t think it would work in all honesty, but I guess the proximity helped. It went off right when you showed up.”
“You got me,” Strange says sardonically. “But these aren’t the Infinity Stones from my world. They’re from yours. I’m … borrowing them. I’ve made arrangements with Wong, Keeper of the Time Stone in your universe. He’s kindly allowed me to use it on the condition that I return them all to him for safekeeping when I’m done.”
“You’ve been here since the beginning,” Tony realizes, remembering their first meeting at the New York Sanctum right before the invasion. “The two of you… He let us think you were Keeper of the Time Stone.”
“I am the Keeper of the Time Stone,” Strange says. “Just not the one from your universe. Here, in this universe, Wong is the Keeper while Stephen Strange is simply a world-renowned neurosurgeon at Metro General. Brilliant, but ignorant of all things concerning the Mystic Arts. You may have heard of him.” He pauses, looking at them expectantly. “Published his seminal work on neuroregeneration through laminectomy?”
Tony glances at Peter, who shrugs.
“Fine, whatever,” Strange grumbles, shaking his head. “My point is. Tony, I need you to come with me.”
Peter bristles and steps forward until he’s standing firm between Strange and Tony. “Okay, I’ve had enough of people popping up out of nowhere trying to kidnap Tony. What is it that you want with him? What are you doing with the Stones? And how do you even have all of them? I thought Wanda destroyed the Mind Stone in Wakanda.”
Strange huffs impatiently. “I took it from her, right as she was about to disintegrate it. She may have sensed something was amiss – I think she told you as much – but she didn’t notice my presence and still thought it was destroyed. But like I said, my world is in danger. The Infinity Stones represent the six pre-creation singularities of the universe. Pillars, if you will, that contain the infinite energies that hold up the cosmos. In my world, Thanos succeeded in using them to decimate half of all life in the galaxy, then destroyed the Infinity Stones themselves. Without the pillars holding it up, our universe will collapse.”
Tony’s eyes widen in astonishment. “Shit. That means-”
“A complete collapse of the continuity,” Strange confirms. “Falling in on itself until it eventually pulls all the divergent, contiguous realities into nothingness. Even yours.”
“That makes no sense,” Peter counters, brows furrowing. “The inherent nature of a multiverse is that there’s an eternal inflation system. It’s infinite. How could it be totally annihilated?”
“Countless universes are being destroyed and created through divergence as we speak, that’s true,” Strange admits. “But I’m not concerned with what’s happening in the distant reaches of the multiverse, just as they aren’t concerned with what happens to us. The multiverse will continue to exist long after we’re gone. But my priority is my own Earth, located in my own universe. My task is to ensure it keeps spinning. And since your universe is proximal to ours, I would have thought that you would be interested to keep your world spinning too. Once we’re devoured, you will be next. Protect our world, and yours will be safe.”
“Okay,” Tony exhales, running a weary hand down his face. “Okay, and what, you’re stuck here or something? Like I told you, I’m not creating a quantum tunnel. Not for you, or for anyone. Glaive was planning on creating a quantum tunnel to bring back Thanos and using me to do it. I’m not risking that. You can find your own way back to your world.”
“Did you forget that I’m Master of the Mystic Arts?” Strange says irritably. “I don’t need a quantum tunnel to travel between worlds. I need your help with something else. I … can’t wield the Infinity Stones. I’m incompatible, and physically unable to harness their energy. They can only be used by someone from the same universe, or at least the same timeline. Since these Infinity Stones are from your universe…”
Tony Stark’s time will come, Peter remembers Nebula’s words.
“No!” Peter blurts out. “No, no. Absolutely not. Tony, you can’t.” No, this can’t be happening. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to go. From the stunned look on his face, Tony seems to be coming to the same dreadful conclusion, a stony sort of resolve forming the decision in his mind.
No.
“When?” Tony asks quietly.
“I don’t know for sure,” Strange answers. “I may be the Keeper of the Time Stone in my world, but I’m still more or less human. My perception of time still has its limits. It could be tomorrow, next week, a thousand years from now, or in the next few hours. Either way, I’d rather not dawdle and find out.”
“No,” Peter says again, fists clenched. He positions himself right in front of Tony, shielding him bodily from Strange. “Why him?” He’s angry now. So angry he’s close to pleading. “Why Tony? He’s not- He’s done enough. He doesn’t-”
“Peter, the dreams…” Tony says from behind him. His voice is low, a little flat, a little numb. “All this time, I’ve been seeing his world. The one where you’re … where you’re dead.”
Strange nods. “The Peter Parker in my universe was killed along with the countless lives lost when Thanos snapped his fingers. They will all be restored eventually. But it will all be for nothing if the scaffolding of the universe isn’t restored. Only the Infinity Stones can bring a set of Infinity Stones back.”
“Then I’ll come with you,” Peter tells Tony. There’s a distinct undercurrent of fear in the older man’s wide, anxious eyes, and it makes Peter all the more fiercely protective, wanting to wrap himself around him like a shield, like armour. “I’ll be there all the way. You don’t have to do anything alone.”
“You can’t,” Strange interrupts. “I’m already risking the stability of your universe just by being here. Matter isn’t meant to crossover like this. I can’t bring two people into my already unstable universe.”
“Fine, then take me instead,” Peter snaps at Strange. “I’m stronger than Tony. I’m the better choice anyway. I’ll do it.”
“Peter, no,” Tony says firmly. “You wouldn’t be able to even if you wanted to. It’s quantum entanglement from inter-dimensional interaction. I’m the one who’s been having these dreams. It’s always been me. I’ve always been the one to do this. It’s-”
“Fuck that!” Peter shouts, so furious that even Tony flinches. “There’s no such thing as- as predeterminism or destiny or whatever the fuck. We don’t just … accept things lying down. We write our own stories. No one gets to decide for us.”
“And we will.” Tony takes Peter's hand in both of his, squeezing it tight. “You don’t think I’m going to be fighting this as hard as I can? I’ll come back to you. I will.” He’s looking right into Peter’s eyes, his gaze earnest and attempting at reassurance. But Tony’s eyes have always been too expressive for his own good, and Peter has always been able to see right through them.
Peter chokes out a breath, feeling like his chest is caving in. “Don’t- Tony, you know I can always tell when you’re lying.” He can feel tears starting to prickle in the corners of his eyes. He looks up at Tony, pleading and desperate. “You can’t seriously be thinking about this. Why do you have to- It doesn’t have to be you. It doesn’t. I don’t care what the- what the universe says-”
Tony gathers Peter in his arms, pulling him against his chest, holding him tight. The bittersweet tenderness of it all slices at Peter’s heart and he shuts his eyes, letting the tears fall freely and helplessly.
Peter’s uninjured arm grips tight around Tony’s back, the one in a sling clutching at the front of Tony’s shirt. “For fuck’s sake, Tony, don’t do this,” he mumbles into the older man’s shoulder. “Please, just… just be selfish, for once in your life. You have nothing to prove to anyone. I can’t- I can’t do this without you. I need you.”
Tony pulls back just enough to cup Peter’s face with both hands, looking into his watery eyes. “Peter, I love you,” Tony whispers, their foreheads pressed together. Peter reaches up to grip Tony’s wrist desperately. He can feel Tony’s breath on his face. “I love you. I love you so much.”
“No, don’t say that,” Peter pleads. His grip on Tony’s wrist tightens. He’s probably hurting him but he can’t. He can’t let go. He won’t. “Don’t say goodbye. Don’t leave me, Tony. Please.”
Tony kisses him.
Peter makes a strangled sound, despair and desperation in every movement of his lips. It’s not fair. Isn’t it enough? If this is a love story, then why isn’t it enough to simply love and be loved in return? Isn’t the boundless depth of his love for Tony enough to keep the man with him? What more is he supposed to give?
Peter feels the very air open in front of them, golden criss-crossing sparks breaching a fracture into space itself.
No, not yet, Peter begs, holding Tony tighter.
The portal moves towards them. Or they’re being pulled towards it like it has its own gravity, it’s hard to say. Peter doesn’t let Tony go, hoping that wherever the man goes, he’ll be taken with him. He’s not going to let anything or anyone separate them. Not ever.
But the portal passes through them and Peter is left all alone in the hallway, quiet now with nothing but the sound of rain falling harder than ever outside. There’s nothing but empty air in his arms, trembling hands holding onto nothing.
Peter stifles a sob, hand over his mouth.
Tony’s gone.
--
--
Tony didn’t know what he expected traveling between universes would be like. The reality of it feels extremely nauseating and disorienting. It’s like someone had shoved him into an ultracentrifuge and just cranked it up to max. Once his feet hit solid ground, he doubles over in a dry heave, trying to keep the contents of his stomach where it is.
When the world stops feeling like it’s kicking him in the guts, Tony finally looks up.
They seem to be at the training compound in the Avengers Facility, essentially a warehouse, a wide open space with high ceilings, the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the tall, glass windows. There’s something oddly stale about the air around them. His breath is heavier, like it’s requiring a slightly more conscious effort to pull the oxygen into his lungs.
“I’m sorry,” Strange says ruefully. “I was hoping we could have done all that without getting Peter involved. I tried, but my powers seem to be limited in a universe where I don’t belong.”
“You were just going to take me without letting me say goodbye to him?” Tony says angrily, still physically and emotionally jarred from getting yanked across dimensions.
“Was that really any better? Seeing him like that, did it help you at all?” Strange points out.
Tony doesn’t deign that with an answer. He feels like if he lets himself slow down, lets himself think about all that he’s left behind, then the crushing tragedy of it all will be so suffocating that he won’t have the strength to do anything more than fall to his knees and weep. Instead, he grits his teeth against the pain, pacing around, observing his surroundings.
The biggest, most obvious difference between this place and its counterpart back in his universe is the huge machinery constructed in the middle of the room. Built almost like a stage, there’s a raised platform with curved metal scaffolds surrounding it like an enclosure, with countless reflective panels hanging from above. Thick, black cables extend out from beneath the stage like tangled tree roots, connecting it to all sorts of power generators and supercomputers.
“They have a quantum tunnel,” Tony says, recognizing the structure immediately. It’s exactly how he would have designed it when he realized such a thing could be done.
Strange walks up to him. “You – the you of this universe – and the Avengers used the tunnel to retrieve a set of Infinity Stones from this universe’s past, borrowing them to undo Thanos’s snap.”
“Glaive tried to kidnap me to create this tunnel to bring Thanos back,” Tony says.
Strange nods. “And it would have worked too had he succeeded in coercing you to do so. It’s always been a possibility, as your friends here will soon find out.”
Tony looks around at the deserted space. “Where are they anyway? How much time do we have?”
“They’re outside,” Strange replies. He seems to hesitate for a moment. “Not all of them made it when they returned from retrieving the Stones. They’re taking the time to mourn. They’ll be a while, but I’ve slowed time down sufficiently to let you do whatever you need to do to create a gauntlet.”
The dust motes in the pillars of light streaming through the windows are frozen in stillness, held in inertia through temporal manipulation.
“Who?” Tony asks.
“Natasha Romanoff.”
It’s like a punch in the gut. If this Natasha was anything like his back home, then she would have seemed unbeatable, untouchable, too quick and cunning to let something like death catch up to her. Tony wants to ask how, as if it will somehow protect his own Natasha back home, prevent it from happening, but their worlds would have already diverged at this point. He wants to force the Time Stone Keeper to go back and save her but from the look on his face, it seems that he already knows what Tony is thinking.
“There’s nothing I can do,” Strange says apologetically. “Her death … her sacrifice is tied to the Soul Stone and the preservation of the timeline.”
Sacrifice. Of course.
The two of them – Tony and Natasha - they’ve never outright spoken about it in depth, such is the way of their group’s collective emotional constipation. But it’s quite understood that both Iron Man and the Black Widow have blood-stained pasts. Tony can see how Natasha would leap at the chance to make her life matter, to give herself up with no hesitation for the greater good. He wants to curse her for it, but he’s got no leg to stand on, here in a universe that’s not his, ready to do the same.
You have nothing to prove to anyone, Peter had insisted.
But Peter’s different. Peter’s always been good. Peter has always deserved the world.
Tony shakes his head. He walks over to one of the monitors, pulling up the logs.
It confirms what Strange said. The Avengers of this universe have just returned from the quantum realm, having travelled to multiple different temporal openings to pluck the Infinity Stones from their respective timelines. The next plan is to finalize the nano-gauntlet and implement the Stones. Tony pulls up the schematics, eyes skimming through the familiarly styled notes and annotations.
“We can’t use the nano-gauntlet your counterpart has created,” Strange says. “Using the Stones will damage it and your friends will need it later. You’ll need to make one from scratch. The lab should have any of the materials you need.”
Tony closes the schematics and types in a series of commands. If he knows himself the way he knows he does…
“No need for that,” Tony says, pressing enter and being granted access to the encrypted server belonging to this universe’s Tony Stark. “See, if I were him – and he is me, essentially – I would have a backup plan.” Tony opens up a new set of schematics onto the monitor, revealing an upgraded version of the Mark 50, which is … the Mark 85, apparently. The other Tony Stark’s been busy.
Glancing at the timestamps, Tony notes that it’s 2023, five years since the initial invasion, five years since he went to Titan to fight Thanos, five years since … the Peter of this universe died.
Unable to help himself, Tony searches for another folder he knows will be there. Thirty-four upgrades to the Iron Man suit, each one stronger than the last as the other Tony keeps devising new ways to confront Thanos’s immense powers. All the reports, notes after notes, endless experiments, hypothesis tests, all the failed attempts at undoing the snap and bringing everyone back.
And then there’s Peter’s picture, tucked in a hidden folder, along with the final, shameful, last-ditch attempts, when the other Tony forgets about everything else, everyone else, and just tries to bring Peter back. Just Peter. Tony sees his counterpart’s increasingly hopeless notes and remembers feeling the desolation through his dreams. He remembers the guilt and despair when the other Tony finally closed this folder and put it behind him, to build a family he knew Peter would have loved.
Tony knows that even in this other universe, even when they’re not together romantically, he still loved Peter with all his heart, loved him to the point of invention, risked everything just for a chance to bring him back.
Tony looks back at the schematics for the Mark 85, at one upgrade to the suit in particular. “I’m not going to survive this, am I?” Tony asks Strange. “The me from this universe, I mean.”
“No,” Strange answers honestly. “But you will win. Thanos will be defeated and everyone will be back. Including Peter.”
Tony nods. That’s … that’s good to know. It comforts him that even in another universe, another version of him is willing to take one for the team, for the world. For Peter.
It doesn’t take long to copy the program from the Mark 85 into his own suit. He doesn't need any of the amped up weaponry anyway, just the nano-gauntlet upgrade. The other Tony had done his research. He knew that if it came down to it, if he had to wield the gauntlet, he wouldn’t survive, no matter what he did. Such is the nature of the Infinity Stones. No amount of tech could protect him, a mortal human, from such distilled power and devastation.
“You said that out of 14 million however many outcomes, there were two where we would win, one in which I would live,” Tony says, remembering the wizard’s words back on Titan. “What makes the difference?”
Strange shrugs. “Chance. A flip of a coin. Subject to the whims of cosmic entities beyond our comprehension. Nothing you or I could do about it.”
Tony rolls his eyes. “You’re extremely helpful, you know that?” He finishes up and closes the display. He drums his fingers restlessly on the counter.
“Are you ready?” Strange asks.
“No,” Tony answers truthfully.
--
Part 22
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Happy HK secret Santa @emmmmiru !!! I hope you don’t hate this lmao, I’ve discovered I really need prompts when writing christmas fics so I combined like several and I think it sort of worked??? Also plz excuse my ER/hospital knowledge it’s very outdated because my reference hasn’t worked in an ER for like years so I did my best lol. So, without further ado plz have Doctor Toshiro/Nurse Karin and mistletoe, for some reason I really just like RAN with the mistletoe thing!!
Karin was twitchy. She’d been waiting in the Starbuck’s line for a solid fifteen minutes before her order was finally taken. Now here she was, stuck waiting another ten minutes for the actual drink to be made. There were four people in front of her too.
Today was her first day at her new hospital. She was finally escaping the shadow of her brilliant family at Karakura General Hospital, KGH. Both her father and brother were well known and highly sought-after doctors. Ichigo, a renown neurosurgeon and Ishhin, probably one of the best ER doctors around, training a number of great pupils in emergency medicine. Even her own twin sister was well known, Yuzu was one of few dietitians in Karakura and a good one at that.
Karin herself was a damn good nurse and she knew it, but she got rather fed up with being known exclusively as Kurosaki Junior. Yuzu didn’t seem to mind the nickname as much, but of course Karin wasn’t as nice as Yuzu.
So, here she was, a town away at a brand-new hospital starting her first shift on Christmas Eve, just her luck.
And now her need for Starbucks and caffeine was going to make her late.
“Venti gingerbread latte for Karin.” The barista finally called out and Karin practically sprinted to the counter.
Quickly grabbing a lid and pushing it onto the cup Karin briskly turned around ready to get to the hospital ASAP. Only to run smack dab into someone, immediately spilling her precious gingerbread latte all over this nice someone’s crisp white dress shirt.
“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” She asked before looking up at the very attractive man she had spilled her hot drink all over.
He was probably one of the most attractive men she had ever seen with white hair, piercing blue eyes and a very attractive face. An attractive face that was decidedly unimpressed with situation as his white shirt dripped latte. He brought a hand up to his face, pinched his nose and muttered, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”
“Wait, Toshiro?” Karin asked, his unimpressed scowl triggering a memory of that very same face but much younger lecturing her about proper hospital etiquette.
“Karin?”
“Yes! How are you? It’s been so long; dad really misses you.” It was really her who missed him, but he didn’t need to know that.
“I’m doing just fine Karin, but I think I’d be much better if we could have this discussion when I don’t have coffee all over me.”
“Ahh right! Let me get you a paper towel, I’ll be right back.”
And then she disappeared quickly, trying her best to calm her heart rate.
Toshiro Hitsugaya had been one of her father’s most promising medical interns and Isshin had loved him so much he became part of the family. Did a young nursing intern, happen to find him very attractive? Yes. Did that same intern also happen to develop a huge crush and sulk for weeks when he finally left to pursue his career at a different hospital? Also, yes. But she still had her dignity dammit!
The current twenty-five-year-old Karin was not the same as twenty-one-year-old lovesick Karin, she would not be caught pining over Toshiro Hitsugaya. She was better than that.
Grabbing a wad of napkins, Karin returned to Toshiro and resisted the urge to dab at his well-muscled chest with them. Instead, she handed them to him before seeing the time. “Toshiro, this was great, but I really have to go, I’m late to my first shift!”
Toshiro had no chance to respond before the dark-haired beauty was gone and he was left still sopping wet with latte. Classic Kurosaki.
Karin barely managed to make pre-shift, sliding into the nurse’s station just as the charge nurse started giving everyone the basic rundown of how the shift would work.
Karin knew the brief layout of the hospital and how it worked from her few training shifts, but she wasn’t sure she was entirely ready to be thrown into a Christmas Eve shift just yet. Unfortunately, another nurse had come down with a nasty flu and Karin was forced to cover for her. Since Karin had never worked a Christmas or Christmas Eve shift before she had absolutely no idea what to expect.
She really hoped Christmas Eve wouldn’t be as insane as it was on Gray’s Anatomy.
After pre-shift ended Karin approached the charge nurse to let her know of her newbie status. She was a kind older woman named Yuki and Karin knew immediately she’d like her.
“Oh, don’t worry too much dear. Christmas Eve usually isn’t that busy, this is probably a good first shift for you to learn how we work here. But just to be safe I’m going to assign you to beds 6-12, they’re usually not as hectic as the trauma room. The doctor on tonight is also one of our best. I’m sure you’ll have no problems but if you need anything don’t hesitate to ask him. He’s very thorough in his work so I’m sure he’d be more than happy to help you learn the layout here.”
As Yuki finished speaking Karin spotted a messy head of silvery-white hair walking towards them and she quickly realized exactly who her ER doctor would be tonight. Just her luck.
“And speaking of, there he is. Karin, this is Dr. Hitsugaya and he’ll be the doctor in charge of the emergency room tonight.”
She could have kicked herself; she really should have put the pieces together. What was the likelihood she’d run into Toshiro at the coffee shop next to the hospital before her night shift randomly? Very slim.
“Hello again Karin.” He said with a small smirk, and she couldn’t help but notice the new green dress shirt he was wearing underneath his white coat brought out those piercing eyes of his. He was really so unfair.
“Toshiro.”
His eyebrow twitched; an annoyed reaction Karin was thrilled to evoke.
“Karin how many times do I have to tell you it’s Dr. Hitsugaya.”
“Oh, you two have already met then?” Yuki interrupted innocently.
Yes, yes, they had. She had an embarrassing schoolgirl crush on him, thought their weird sexual tension might lead somewhere only for him to leave after his residency never to be seen again. She was only a little bitter. But it was FINE.
“Yes, we used to work together at another hospital.” He smoothly replied and Karin was thankful he didn’t bring up her family and exactly which hospital they’d worked at. She didn’t want to be known as Kurosaki Junior again and he seemed to understand.
“Well, I hope we have a good shift Toshiro.”
His eyebrow twitched again, and she couldn’t help but feel pride at how she could drive him so crazy in such a short amount of time.
As it turned out Karin did have a pretty good shift with only a few hiccups. Thankfully, nothing too insane happened and as Yuki promised beds 6 to 12 were pretty relaxed. The most notable patient was a man who had smashed his hand through a fish tank.
Karin was forced to carefully tweeze out the glass while one half of his family yelled at him across the bed about his recklessness. From what she could gather the two sides of the family were arguing about some family recipe and it had led to an all-out brawl.
She was a little chagrined when the other half of the family arrived twenty minutes later with his cousin who had third degree burns from cooking said family recipe.
Overall Christmas Eve wasn’t that bad. Karin had learned about the hospital staff more than anything. Mostly that they were a bit crazy. At first Karin hadn’t immediately noticed the mistletoe pretty much EVERYWHERE in the hospital but the more she paid attention the worse it got. Every doorway, archway, hallway, and windowsill were covered in the plant. There was even some hanging off the light fixtures. She privately thought it was a terrible fire hazard but whatever.
After hours of encountering, it at every corner of the hospital during her shift she caved and asked what it was about on her lunch break. Matsumoto, an impressive veteran ER nurse whose only goal in life seemed to be to drive Toshiro insane, was more than happy to let her in on the hospital gossip.
Only for Karin to find out it was all over some ridiculous wager. Apparently, there was a longstanding bet in the hospital about who could catch a certain white-haired doctor under the mistletoe first.
In four years running, not one had ever been able to kiss him. Doctors, nurses, and X-ray techs alike had all tried their hand but to no avail. Not a single soul had ever gotten near him.
Karin couldn’t help feeling a little pleased about this. So, what if she still harboured a little crush on the man and was smug no one had snagged him yet? Who could blame her, he was hot.
It was widely believed Toshiro was some sort of ninja in his spare time because he’d never been spotted near the mistletoe which was an impressive feat seeing as how it covered every possible surface.
“So why does everyone want to kiss him so bad? Other than the bet of course?”
“Karin have you seen that man, who wouldn’t want to kiss a face like that?”
“Fair point.” She was willing to admit he was indeed a very fine specimen.
“So, who are you betting on this year Matsumoto?”
“You.” And with that ominous answer, Matsumoto winked, grabbed her empty tray and left the cafeteria.
Karin could only gape at her back.
The rest of her shift was just as relaxed as the beginning and for that Karin was thankful. Her mind was now completely filled with Matsumoto’s last words. What was she supposed to do with that? Why would she have a chance of winning that bet with Toshiro. Did Matsumoto know something she didn’t? Sure, they’d shared some heated looks at her old hospital and yeah, people usually told them to get a room whenever they argued but that didn’t mean he was interested in her right? She definitely would have known if Toshiro Hitsugaya, star ER doctor had a crush on her. Or would she?
It was these thoughts that occupied her mind as she put on her street clothes and exited the hospital for the night on complete autopilot. There was no way she could have missed her first love liking her back. No way. Or at least she really hoped not.
And it was these very same thoughts that caused her to make her way down the main stairs in a daze. As she turned onto the empty sidewalk right outside the hospital, she was so engrossed in her thoughts that she failed to notice the black ice covering the previously snowy sidewalk. She promptly slipped and fell onto the concrete and after that she really didn’t think of much at all.
Woozily looking up, Karin heard him muttering to himself, before her blurry vision became clear.
“Injured slipping on the sidewalk, trauma to the head, likely has a concussion.”
And then he looked up from her chart and finally noticed just who his patient was. “Karin, for fuck’s sake.”
“Hey Toshiro.” She awkwardly waved and after a moment added, “You know you have a terrible bedside manner.”
His eyebrow twitched, “It’s Dr. Hitsugaya.”
“Ya, Dr. Hitsugaya whatever, what’s my prognosis, can I go home? I want to go to bed.”
“Too bad. You’re not sleeping until I know your brain is fine or someone’s there to wake you up every two hours.”
Unfortunately, Karin’s list of people to monitor her for concussion symptoms was very short and consisted solely of Yuzu. Yuzu, who was also conveniently at her boyfriend’s for Christmas eve. Her brother and father were both working tonight and she was unsure when they’d be off. Toshiro seemed to sense this because he started to open his mouth, probably to suggest she stay at the hospital and she immediately cut him off.
“I am not staying at the hospital tonight so you can forget that.”
He gave her a withering look before responding.
“Karin, I can’t just release you and you know it. Stop being stubborn and just stay here.”
“No.”
There was a long-suffering sigh in response and then, “I guess it’s up to me to keep you entertained then.”
“Aren’t you the only ER doctor on right now? Don’t you have like other patients to deal with?” She asked defiantly, she would be going home to sleep even if it was the last thing she did. Which, it very well could be if her brain was seriously injured but she didn’t really want to worry about that.
His eyebrow began to twitch again at this. “Yes, Karin but they’re all in stable condition for now and contrary to popular belief we’re not usually that busy on Christmas. Besides my shift is almost over anyways. I was just going to go chart for the last half hour.”
“So, I can go to sleep then?”
“No, you can nap on the couch in my office and I’ll wake you up and take you to Ichigo’s. Rukia should be home if he isn’t.”
She almost argued back but then she saw the infamous unimpressed look on his handsome face and knew not to bother. This was not an argument she would win.
“Whatever.”
Karin was momentarily confused when instead of responding Toshiro left the room, practically sprinting through the archway to avoid the mistletoe. She eased herself off the bed to follow and quickly became aware which parts of her body had taken the brunt of her fall: mainly her butt and her head. What a great Christmas eve this was shaping up to be.
She managed to settle herself just as Toshiro appeared around the corner rolling a wheelchair. “Toshiro, no.”
“Karin, yes.”
This conversation repeated several times before Toshiro simply took it upon himself to forcefully shove her into the wheelchair and Karin found herself being awkwardly wheeled down the hallway. Today was definitely not her day. She supposed having one of the most attractive doctors in the hospital dote on you wasn’t the worst thing to happen.
Toshiro’s office was exactly what she expected it to be like, overly organized and painted in different shades of grey and blue. He brought the wheelchair to a stop next to his predictably grey but very comfortable looking couch. He moved to help her to the couch, but she waved him off.
“I’ll be back I just have to go collect some paperwork. Take a nap and I’ll wake you when it’s time to leave.”
She didn’t need to be told twice, she had already maneuvered herself onto the plush couch and was ready to conk off. The last thing she saw before her eyes closed was his scowling face as he ripped a sprig of mistletoe out of the doorjamb.
She woke next to blaring hospital lights as she was once again wheeled down the hallway, this time towards the parking garage. “Do I want to know how you got me back into this wheelchair without waking me up?”
“With great difficulty Kurosaki and that’s all you need to know.”
“Yeah, I definitely don’t want to know. So, there’s no way I can convince you to just drop me off at my apartment, right?”
“Not unless I stay the night Karin and to be honest me sleeping on the couch in that situation is not how I had imagined that would play out.”
Was that flirting? That was definitely flirting but she wasn’t going to call him out on it. She didn’t have the presence of mind to verbally spar with him right now. But clearly her sleep deprived brain had other ideas.
“So, tell me Toshiro who do you think is going to win the hospital mistletoe bet this year?”
Why did she bring that up????
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He replied easily as they arrived at his black BMW.
“Yes, you do, and quite frankly I’m impressed I’ve never seen someone literally somersault away from a group of nurses.”
He groaned as he courteously opened her door before helping her inside his of course perfectly clean car.
“Karin it’s not funny, it’s gotten to the point where I dread the Christmas season. I considered an extended leave of absence for the whole month of December.” His face as he started the car told he was 100% serious.
“Why don’t you just kiss someone then?” She asked as he started the car, making his way towards her brother’s apartment. His unenthusiastic grunt was her only response.
“You could even rig the betting pool; I’d bet Matsumoto would help you and you would make bank.”
“Of course, you’d suggest something like that Kurosaki.”
“Yeah, just so long as I’m in on it, I want a piece of the cut.”
This time she got an amused look in response instead of annoyance.
“No but for real just pick a cute nurse, give her a smooch and it’s all over. Four Decembers is a long time to deal with this.” Somehow, she managed to refrain from suggesting she herself be this cute nurse, but she was sure if he really wanted, he could figure it out.
“They usually start in November.”
“Even worse.”
The rest of the ride was spent in their usual amicable silence. A few times Karin almost nodded off but was pleasantly awoken by a swift smack in the arm each time. Stupid doctor Toshiro.
They arrived at her brother’s apartment soon enough and she nearly had to fight Toshiro so he wouldn’t go inside and apprise Rukia of the whole situation. “I may be tired but I’m not tired enough not to let Rukia know I probably have a concussion.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“Yeah, yeah. Anyways thanks for taking care of me, I owe you a favour.” She said as she dragged herself out of the warm car and around towards the building entrance. She was about to give one more wave when the driver’s side window rolled down and Toshiro beckoned her over.
“Can I collect on my favour now?”
She gave him what she was sure was a very confused look, what could he possibly want from concussion Karin at 4 am on Christmas morning?
She bent down closer to the window to ask him what the hell he could possibly want from her when suddenly her sleepy brain was made aware of the fact that Toshiro Hitsugaya was suddenly holding something above her head, and it was mistletoe. Her eyes went back and forth between him and the plant for several seconds before she finally spoke.
“Really this is your big move. I’ve been waiting for this since I was 21 stupid.”
“Whatever Kurosaki are you going to put me out of my misery or do I have to spend the next 4 Decembers avoiding this stupid plant again.”
He looked entirely too pleased with himself but really Karin could deal with it if she got to kiss one of the hottest ER doctors. Who could complain?
The next morning Matsumoto won the betting pool and was seen discreetly sharing her earnings with a certain white-haired doctor and his new girlfriend in the break room a few days later.
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Loki: Chapter 12*
Pairing: Solavellan Rating: E*, this chapter is NSFW
Summary: Lavellan rescued a mischievious sphynx kitten outside her work who loves her dearly. But his destructive habits start to get out of hand when he steals her attractive neighbor’s underwear… repeatedly.
Chapter 12* (4.8k, NSFW)
Anise wove in between bodies at a record pace, clutching her lunch bag to her chest, dodging interns left and right. She needed a moment of silence to clear her throbbing head, and if one more first year came up and asked her how to properly intubate someone, she might just scream. Normally, she would be all for teaching freshly graduated doctors-to-be techniques, but after what she just witnessed in the resident lounge? Absolutely not.
Anise took a sharp right and dove into the stairwell that would lead her towards the basement, her feet moving on autopilot to the once familiar place she would run off to escape to early on in her career at Haven. At the second to last door from the bottom, she slumped into it, letting her weight push it open. Her brows arched as she saw someone else who apparently had the same idea she did, sitting on a gurney in the hallway of the abandoned wing of the hospital.
“Old habits die hard,” Dorian said with a smirk, and gestured for her to sit in empty space beside him.
“Gods, this takes me back to first year when we all would eat down here,” she said, hoisting herself up on the forgotten piece of equipment. She proceeded to open her own packed lunch, a tuna wrap with carrot sticks.
“Let me guess, your reason for avoiding our common area is the same as mine?”
They locked eyes, and said in synchrony, “Anders.”
Dorian cackled.
He fished a carrot stick out of her bag for himself before saying, “Honestly, I don’t know what we all saw in him. It ends the same way for everyone. You can’t fix him, no matter how hard you try,” he bit into the carrot stick with a loud crunch, “but at least it’s Hawke this time, and not a new intern. Maybe she will finally knock some sense into him.”
Anders was a brilliant doctor, one of the best neurosurgeons in the nation if not the best. He turned down multiple offers from hospitals all around the country before settling at the Ferelden teaching hospital. But his personal life was a total mess wrought with commitment issues, and he was constantly getting in over his head with the medical board with his fiery attitude and unorthodox approach to medicine (which was not necessarily always a bad thing, and definitely something that had drawn Anise to him in the first place, but his sometimes he just skirted the lines of what was ethical). Anise had made the mistake of getting involved with him shortly after starting her internship (as did Dorian) but quickly realized Anders was… a lot to say the least, and she politely ended things. To her surprise (and relief) he was understanding. They got along much better as colleagues than they did as lovers, anyway. Anise vowed never to date another doctor at her hospital moving forward. She was much more content to over hear gossip, than be the reason for the gossip.
And then, there was Hawke--their fellow resident, good friend, and ruthless rival. She was a handful, too. Equally as fiery, passionate, always managed to make everything a competition, and went tit for tat with Anders. He may have finally met his match. It didn’t surprise Anise they were sleeping together, or that they were airing out their dirty laundry in the resident lounge at this very moment. Something she had walked in on in her effort to get her lunch.
They had both stopped yelling and stared at her, mortified at the fact they had gotten caught. She had given them a painfully awkward wave before zipping over to the fridge, snagging her lunch, and darting out of the lounge in under ten seconds.
Their fighting resumed before the door had even shut on her way out.
“Let’s hope only metaphorically, Anders has a surgery this evening, and I’m getting to scrub in and perform the craniotomy.” She stuck her tongue out at Dorian’s envious expression.
“Brat. Does Hawke know about this?”
Anise rolled her eyes, “If I were to hedge a guess, it’s what started their fight.”
As she bit into her wrap, her phone vibrated in her pocket. When she checked it, she promptly choked.
[Vhenan]
Will you let me take you out to dinner this Friday?
Schedule permitting, of course
[1:13pm]
Friday.
As in The Fourteenth of February.
As in, Valentine's Day.
“Best steer clear of Hawke for the rest of the day then. Otherwise she might just knock you instead.”
“Hah..ha,” Anise replied weakly, eyes still glued to her phone. Her brain, temporarily out of order.
Solas wanted to take her out.
On the national holiday for couples.
Granted, he had taken her out before, but that had been more casual, and hadn’t felt as exclusive. From the outside, they could have just been good friends dancing together, grabbing a bite afterwards. People did that all the time.
(Well, he did kiss her, but no one had been around to witness it, so therefore it didn’t technically count, or so she tried to rationalize.)
That date also had been before they started sleeping together…before he called her vhenan...
A wave of heat rolled up her neck, burning the tips of her ears. She had been too cowardly to bring up what he had said to her in his sleep filled haze the day after the last time they had slept together. Their snow day together had been too picture perfect, and she didn’t want to chance ruining it. She spent the entirety of the day on top of him on her couch (they had switched apartments for Loki’s sake). And when they weren’t alternating between their favorite movies… they engaged in other forms of entertainment.
[Anise]
I believe my shift ends at 5 next Friday--if you don’t mind having a little bit of a later dinner, I would love to join you
[1:20pm]
[Vhenan]
I do not, I’ll make the arrangements.
[1:20pm]
[Anise]
Nothing too fancy!! You’ve seen my laundry, I only own scrubs and that one dress
[1:21pm]
[Vhenan]
It is done.
[1:22pm]
“Who’s Vhenan?”
Anise nearly jumped out of her skin and almost dropped her phone on the floor.
“Dorian,” she chided, shoving him hard, and scrambling to send off one more text.
[Anise]
No presents! And we go halfsies
[1:22pm]
“It’s your fault you made no effort to hide your screen. I’ve been talking to you this whole time and you’ve so carelessly ignored me. I had to know who was more important than your very best friend.”
“Absolutely no one.” Anise tucked her phone safely back into the privacy of her pocket.
“Darling Anise, we both know that’s bullshit.”
It was at that moment the door to the hall bust wide open, the sound of it slamming against the wall echoed like a gunshot, startling both Anise and Dorian.
“Oh fuck,” Hawke’s horrified face was quickly covered by her hands, sending tufts of her pixie cut jet black hair to stick out at even odder angles than they normally did, “and here I thought I could escape today for one fucking second.”
Dorian and Anise exchanged a quick glance and said together, “Old habits die hard,”
Dorian shifted further down the gurney, as did Anise, leaving space for one more body. Anise gestured to Hawke to take the spot, and offered her a carrot stick. Hawke made a disgusted noise but took the seat, and carrot stick, anyway. It looked like she might snap it in half. She fell into an awkward, tenuous silence beside Anise, who suddenly became very interested in the tuna of her wrap, taking small nibbles and examining the bite marks she left behind.
Finally, at long last Hawke said, “I can’t scrub in with Anders anymore.”
“Because you’re sleeping with him?”
Hawke shot Dorian a dark look. “I’m dating him, asshole.”
Anise paused mid bite, “Wait… like…?”
“Like, it’s official, All-Spice,” she quipped at Anise using that stupid nickname that speech pathlogist gave her that Hawke hung around with. Apparently, he gave everyone nicknames. “We went to the Chief, came clean, and everything. Anders had to speak privately with Viv for like an hour.” Hawke rubbed her face. “And then he comes back and tells me that I no longer am allowed to scrub in with him anymore.”
“I mean, that makes sense,” Dorian said, which was clearly the wrong thing to say to Hawke, earning him another, darker, glare as she chomped down on her carrot stick.
“Fuck you,” Hawke said with her mouth full, pausing to swallow before continuing, “I know that. I still get to be upset about it.”
“Valid,” Anise said, taking another small bite of her wrap.
“Sure, but you don’t have to scream about it,” Dorian retorted.
“Also, valid point,” Anise commented, covering her mouth with a hand as she chewed.
“Fine, you’re right. Sorry,” Hawke sighed, shoulders rising and falling dramatically. “And I’m also sorry for what you walked in on, Anise. I want it to be clear, I didn’t mean to sound like I was angry at you. I’m not. I just let--”
The door to the hall opened again, with considerably less banging this time, but all three residents snapped to attention as they saw who stepped through.
“The Witch,” Dorian hissed.
The Chief Resident’s expression soured.
“I heard that, Dorian,” she drawled, “why is it that when I need a competent resident, the three of you are nowhere to be found. Incoming abdominal gunshot wound, no exit, OR three.”
All of them immediately jumped up, pushing each other out the way to stand before Morrigan, Dorian and Anise shoving their lunches haphazardly back into their packs as Hawke edged them out.
Morrigan rolled her eyes. “Lavellan, you have a surgery tonight, you’re out.”
Anise didn’t fight it, given the circumstances, and quietly stepped back.
“Hawke with me. You look like you need it.”
“What,” Dorian protested, gesturing flippantly at Hawke, “how is that the basis of your decision?”
“Dorian, you suck up to every attending, you’ll find a surgery to scrub into before I make it back to the OR floor.”
Hawke’s amber eyes sparkled as she flipped off Dorian when Morrigan had her back turned. Dorian returned the gesture with equal flair.
“Remind me why we’re friends with her again,” Dorian asked, after they were gone.
“Because she’s a pariah like us, and you do actually like her as a person, flaws and all.”
Dorian grumbled something in Tevine under his breath, slumping back down onto the gurney. “And remind me why I’m friends with you, when you won’t even tell me all the interesting bits of your life?”
Anise sighed.
If she started telling Dorian about Solas, it would mean someone else would know, which would make it all the more real.
It really didn’t take her that long to decide.
“Okay, but you have to promise me not to laugh and call me crazy,” Anise warned, and Dorian’s face lit up, “but it started with my kitten and my neighbor’s boxer briefs…”
***
The restaurant was one of those scratch kitchen types, where everything was locally sourced and organic. It had a rustic feel to it that reminded her of home the moment they sat down at their booth, surrounded by plants and large glass windows. Surprisingly, it was comfortably warm. She had shrugged off her winter coat, but kept on the black blazer she had dug out of her closet that she hadn’t worn since she graduated medical school, and was happy to know it still fit perfectly. She had gone with a floral turtleneck underneath with a pair of tight jeans and ankle boots. Not too fancy, but still dressed up. He had worn something similar in fashion, a pair of nice jeans, a green sweater, and sport coat over top.
It was surreal. To be out, with him, clearly as a couple. Her heart hadn’t stopped fluttering since he took her hand when they left their apartment complex.
She hadn’t meant to talk about work, or make Solas talk about work, knowing how bringing it up seemed to ruin his mood. But when he asked about how the surgery with Anders she was able to scrub in on went, the incident with Hawke naturally came up, and suddenly she was discussing work.
“I’m sorry, I’m monopolizing the conversation. I would ask you about your week, but I get the impression it wasn’t any better than the last.”
“You would be correct in that assumption,” he said, rubbing his temples. “I managed to avoid the C.E.O for most of it. One awkward elevator ride was all I had to endure. Luckily, in silence.”
Even with that simple statement, she could see the tension set in his shoulders. “Let’s not talk about work anymore.”
He peered over his steepled hands at her. “What would you like us to talk about, Anise?”
Anise ran her tongue over her teeth and thought for a second. “I want to learn more about you. So let’s play a game.”
Solas’ brows arched. “What kind of game do you have in mind?”
“You try to make an assumption about me. If you’re right, I drink. If you’re wrong, you drink. And vice versa.”
He chuckled. “Where did you learn this game?”
“Med school. We had to find some way to cope,” she said with a laugh of her own.
“You might want to order a second glass of wine before we start.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you think I’ll only make wrong assumptions, and you’ll only ever make right ones?”
“Indeed, I do.”
Anise rolled her neck. “Game on. I’ll go first. Your favorite color is green.”
“You went for something easy.” Solas took a generous sip of his wine. “What gave it away?”
Anise grinned. “Your sweater. Your ties are mostly green. Your socks have intricate green patterns on them. Your briefcase is a very dark green, almost black if you’re not looking close enough. But your sweater tonight really sealed the deal for me.”
“Astute observations. Then let me counter with this, your favorite color is blue.”
“Guilty.” Anise blushed behind her glass of wine, and took a sip. “I’ll bite. How’d you know?”
It was Solas’ turn to smile. “Your bedsheets are blue. As is the accent wall in your bedroom. The gift wrap you covered my wintersend gift in. Most of your scrubs are light blue, though this could be required at your hospital, but I took the risk.”
There were also two very obvious reasons, she wasn’t about to admit to as she gazed into them.
“Only attendings have a specific uniform color, and its navy ironically.”
Their dinner arrived after that, but they continued their little game even after their drinks were finished, using water instead until they ordered a second glass each. Solas guessed Anise had broken bones as a kid--she drank, she had broken two in her arm when she was four years old, and was religious--he drank, which prompted a long philosophical conversation about the elven gods and their teachings in which he was surprised to find she wasn’t religious, or spiritual, at all. That she viewed them more as lessons in morals more than anything. Anise soon learned, after a few more wrong guesses, Solas hated plums, but not as much as tea, loved to read research articles, if only to critique their methodology and sample size, and to her greatest surprise, had been arrested twice before the age of eighteen.
Anise finished off the last of her ravioli, and asked, “For what?”
“Disorderly conduct, and Trespassing,” Solas said, pusing around some of the vegetables on his plate, “I was very misguided in my youth.”
“I remember you saying that. My my, what a troublemaker you turned out to be,” she teased.
His lips twisted into that half smile she loved so much. As he studied her from across the table, setting aside his cutlery and dish, her stomach did flips. “You are the youngest child.”
Anise took a sip of her wine. “Youngest of three.”
“All girls?”
Anise shook her head triumphantly, “Only girl.” Solas took a sip of his.
“I have two older brothers. One is in law enforcement, the other is in a metal band.”
“Metal band? Diverse interests in your family.”
“Hah, you don’t even know what my father does for a living.”
Solas did that deep stare again. There was silence for a beat, then he said, “Politician.”
“Damnit,” Anise whispered, taking another sip.
Solas eyes lit up with a realization. “Is he--?”
“The Dalish politician, yes, yes, the one and only,” Anise rolled her eyes rather dramatically, feeling the wine settling in, “kind of obvious. Know how I mentioned in the past my family was busy with legal matters in Wycome? Well, I’m sure you saw recently on the news, the Dalish settlement in the Free Marches was officially recognized as a historical site and can no longer be bought or demolished, because of his advocacy and support from Wycome residents who rallied.”
“I did, it’s incredible what he has done for the history of his people.”
‘I agree. They are in the process of creating a museum to preserve the artifacts and culture from the ancient Dalish in the city. The land will remain untouched and essentially become a nature preserve with trails and historical markers. He keeps saying I have to visit once everything settles down and it’s opened to the public.”
The waitress came around to collect their plates and ask if they wanted dessert. The answer was obviously yes, as if Solas could ever say no to anything sweet. It was entertaining to watch his face light up over a simple frilly cake.
“I do believe it's your turn,” he said, licking icing off his fork.
That was… distracting.
Anise recovered, tips of her ears burning, “You’re an only child.”
Solas stared off at the space behind her quizzically. “What happens when someone does not know how to respond to a statement, do we both drink?”
“I’ve never encountered that kind of situation before playing this game,” Anise admitted.
“To answer your question, I do not know if I have biological siblings. I don’t remember my biological parents. I was placed into foster care in Arlathan when I was very young. I met kindred spirits there, people I would have considered siblings, at the time.”
“I would say they absolutely count.”
He nodded, and drank. While doing so he dug out his phone, scrolled through it for a moment, before smiling, a true smile, and catching her eyes again. “You must not laugh.” He held out his phone.
Anise raised a brow. “No promises without context,” she said, accepting his phone and turning her attention to the picture he had left up.
“Oh, my gods,” her hand quickly shot to her mouth before she could let a giggle escape. “This is you. You have hair. How old are you here? This is… your friend that took you dancing?”
“Seventeen. And yes, that’s her. Her name was Sage. I met her while in the boarding school the state sent me to. Scroll if you want to see more.”
The picture was of two teenagers in school uniforms, standing in the middle of a city street. Solas clearly the younger of the two, with messy brown hair that just barely glinted red in the sunlight. The girl beside him had a shock of green hair that fell just below her chin. One of her arms slung around his neck, laughing at him, as he flipped off whoever was holding the camera.
The next one was Solas eating a cupcake in a dorm room, or to more accurately describe it, having a cupcake shoved into his face by Sage, who had icing on her nose already. The third was an action shot of them dancing. They got a little older every couple photos or so. At the bottom she realized the photos belonged to a memorial album he had on Facebook. While she was busy admiring photos of Solas’ over the years she had not known him, and tearing up as she realized what he had given her, a piece of his past, he had paid for their date.
Sneaky.
“Hey wait, that’s not fair,” she said, returning his phone and standing up, “you baited me.”
“I did.” He pressed a quick kiss to her temple and helped her into her coat.
***
The moment they made it into the lobby of their apartment complex, they were inseparable. In their favor it was empty, and the elevator was theirs alone. How they got that lucky, she didn’t know. What she did know was how badly he wanted her, evident with each pass of his tongue as it pushed past her lips. How his hands slipped under her shirt and roamed her stomach sending heat sliding down her spine to pool in her core. How the elevator brought them to their floor all too soon.
They stood in front of his apartment, her back pressed against his door with clothes entirely wrinkled and lungs breathless, torn between not wanting to stop but also wanting to move inside. She chased his lips as he pulled away to take out his key, but landed on his neck. She continued to kiss him as the lock clicked open. He groaned as her teeth grazed his pressure point, the fingers of his free hand digging into her hip. As the door swung inward, she grabbed a fist full of his shirt and pulled him across the threshold.
“I thought you might want to come back after,” he said between kisses, stripping themselves of their outer layers once the door had closed securely behind them. “Bathroom,” he instructed, nudging her with his nose to her cheek to get her to turn in that direction.
Her bra was shed somewhere between the entryway and his bedroom, leaving her only in jeans. She didn’t want to break their connection, but when she stepped into the bathroom what she saw demanded her full attention. Candles and flowers in petite mason jars lined the tub and sink counter. And a bath bomb on the lid of the toilet seat, still in its packaging. Her heart throbbed.
Oh. He remembered I liked those.
The strike of a match brought her focus back to him. He went to grab one of the candles, but Anise got between him and his target, blowing out the lit match. She took the box from him and tossed it somewhere on top of the toilet without breaking his gaze. Her mouth was on the skin of his neck a second later, backing him up against the wall. Nipping and sucking with a couple little harder bites in between, her tongue caressing spots she had marked him. But when his fingers slid into her hair and clenched, it sent a sharp twinge of pain across her scalp making her moan.
“Mm, interesting,” he said, licking along her bottom lip.
It would have taken way more self-control than she had to to resist the impulse to roll her hips into him, and as she did she was rewarded with feeling the hard press of his erection against her hip through his jeans. It sent a current through her, making her throb between her legs.
His fingers curled into the waistline of her unzippered jeans, yanking them, and her lacy underwear down her thighs. It took a little effort as they clung tightly to her thighs, but eventually he wrestled her out of them. He managed to get his pants off with one fluid movement, and had her against the counter in a heartbeat, the cold stone biting into her lower back, his mouth slating against hers.
He lifted her with no effort, setting her atop the counter space, spreading her legs wide open. His fingers raced along the inside of her thigh, finding her clit and starting a steady and slow rhythm that had her writhing in what seemed like no time at all. He pulled away and lazily dragging his fingers aroud the lips of her sex, taking a sharp breath at wet she had become.
“Anise,” he groaned, sliding a finger inside her.
She gripped his shoulders, nails biting into his skin as he moved within her. One finger soon became two, and she bit her lip to stop from mewling as they curled in just the right cadence that set her nerves on fire. How he had memorized her body, and the way she liked to be touched so quickly was beyond her. When she couldn’t hold it back anymore, she let a whine escape in the form of his name. He removed his fingers just before she could tip over the edge he had brought her to. Some part of her brain realized she was so wet she was dripping onto his counter, but she quite couldn’t bring herself to care. He pulled her hips forward, bringing her to the edge so he could angle himself to take her.
And take her he did.
Her back arched as he smoothly thrust up and in, her head pressing into the mirror behind her. Her legs curled around his waist at the pleasurable stretch she felt as he filled her, pinning him there against her. The other hand wound its way back into the tresses of her hair, spilling out between his fingers as they scraped along her scalp. He twisted her hair sharply, forcing a blissful cry from her mouth into his, which he devoured greedily, and only encouraged him to fuck her harder. With each snap of his hips his grip in her hair tightened, the tension in her pulling taut until she broke, clenching around his cock in such powerful waves she couldn’t help herself from riding against him. He barely pulled out in time to finish on her stomach. They remained as they were, her legs wrapped around his waist, ass on the counter, foreheads pressed together as they caught their breath.
“We did this out of order,” he said, his breathless laughter dancing on her cheek, “Bath first, then sex, was the intention.”
She hummed blithely, “I have no regrets.”
He released his hold on her hair, tucking several loose strands behind her ear, and laid a soft kiss on her temple before pulling out of her embrace. He cleaned his mess off her, and then himself while she wiped down the counter. Through some unspoken agreement, he went to draw the bath and she attended to the candles.
Finally, they sunk into the blessedly warm water, Solas first then Anise. Unable to contain her excitement, she unwrapped the blue bath bomb, and dropped it into the water with a very quiet, noise of delight. An explosion of blue and purple spread like smoke beneath the water as the scent of jasmine rose to greet her.
“Thank you,” she said, settling in against his chest, enjoying the way the heat of water made his body a cool relief at her back in comparison. An inky twilight surrounded their limbs, making anything underneath invisible to the depths of its color.
He laced his fingers through her own resting on his knee above the water, and squeezed.
For some reason, that simple gesture, that subtle contact, overwhelmed her. Her vision swam as the too familiar sting of tears rushed to the corners of her eyes. She took a deep breath and let it in. It wasn’t sadness, no that was a raw, hollow aching feeling that suffocated you until you could feel no more.
This… this was different. This was overwhelming, and in the best way imaginable. Like taking a breath for the first time after not being able to breathe, like lungs so full of fresh air it sent racing through her veins straight to her heart in a sweet release.
Am I really that lonely?
Or…is this…?
She knew the answer. Had known the answer for a while now, but refused to let it surface. At least, until...
“Solas,” she whispered.
He drew his free hand out of the water to caress her arm. “Yes, Anise.”
“Did you mean it?” She swallowed, her throat suddenly thick. “Did you mean it when you called me vhenan?”
He let go of her hand, and tugged on her to turn around. She hesitated for a moment, realizing he was going to see her crying but obliged, twisting her torso to face him. His furrowed brows that softened when he saw her expression. He cupped her face with both hands, the water from the bath mixing with the tears on her cheeks as he stroked her face with his thumbs.
His ever steady eyes bore into her own as he leaned in and whispered, “I meant it,” before closing and capturing her in a kiss. “Vhenan,” he said against her lips, kissing her in such a way she felt dizzy when he finally broke from her mouth to pass over her eyes, whispering “vhenan,” over each one, before coming to rest on her forehead.
“Ar lath ma.”
#solavellan#solas#solas x lavellan#solavellan fanfiction#dragon age inquisition#modern au#Anise Lavellan
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Dark Mood Read: a reading list from BookRiot
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
For readers of Atul Gawande, Andrew Solomon, and Anne Lamott, a profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir by a young neurosurgeon faced with a terminal cancer diagnosis who attempts to answer the question 'What makes a life worth living?' At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade's worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to live. And just like that, the future he and his wife had imagined evaporated. When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi's transformation from a naïve medical student "possessed," as he wrote, "by the question of what, given that all organisms die, makes a virtuous and meaningful life" into a neurosurgeon at Stanford working in the brain, the most critical place for human identity, and finally into a patient and new father confronting his own mortality. What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir. Paul Kalanithi died in March 2015, while working on this book, yet his words live on as a guide and a gift to us all. "I began to realize that coming face to face with my own mortality, in a sense, had changed nothing and everything," he wrote. "Seven words from Samuel Beckett began to repeat in my head: 'I can't go on. I'll go on.'" When Breath Becomes Air is an unforgettable, life-affirming reflection on the challenge of facing death and on the relationship between doctor and patient, from a brilliant writer who became both.
Tenth of December by George Saunders
One of the most important and blazingly original writers of his generation, George Saunders is an undisputed master of the short story, and Tenth of December is his most honest, accessible, and moving collection yet. In the taut opening, "Victory Lap," a boy witnesses the attempted abduction of the girl next door and is faced with a harrowing choice: Does he ignore what he sees, or override years of smothering advice from his parents and act? In "Home," a combat-damaged soldier moves back in with his mother and struggles to reconcile the world he left with the one to which he has returned. And in the title story, a stunning meditation on imagination, memory, and loss, a middle-aged cancer patient walks into the woods to commit suicide, only to encounter a troubled young boy who, over the course of a fateful morning, gives the dying man a final chance to recall who he really is. A hapless, deluded owner of an antique store; two mothers struggling to do the right thing; a teenage girl whose idealism is challenged by a brutal brush with reality; a man tormented by a series of pharmaceutical experiments that force him to lust, to love, to kill—the unforgettable characters that populate the pages of Tenth of December are vividly and lovingly infused with Saunders' signature blend of exuberant prose, deep humanity, and stylistic innovation. Writing brilliantly and profoundly about class, sex, love, loss, work, despair, and war, Saunders cuts to the core of the contemporary experience. These stories take on the big questions and explore the fault lines of our own morality, delving into the questions of what makes us good and what makes us human. Unsettling, insightful, and hilarious, the stories in Tenth of December—through their manic energy, their focus on what is redeemable in human beings, and their generosity of spirit—not only entertain and delight; they fulfill Chekhov's dictum that art should "prepare us for tenderness."
Please Look After Mom by Shin Kyung-sook, Chi-Young Kim (Translator)
An international sensation and a bestseller that has sold over 1.5 million copies author's Korea, Please Look After Mom is a stunning, deeply moving story of a family's search for their missing mother - and their discovery of the desires, heartaches and secrets they never realized she harbored within. When sixty-nine year old So-nyo is separated from her husband among the crowds of the Seoul subway station, and vanishes, their children are consumed with loud recriminations, and are awash in sorrow and guilt. As they argue over the "Missing" flyers they are posting throughout the city - how large of a reward to offer, the best way to phrase the text - they realize that none of them have a recent photograph of Mom. Soon a larger question emerges: do they really know the woman they called Mom? Told by the alternating voices of Mom's daughter, son, her husband and, in the shattering conclusion, by Mom herself, the novel pieces together, Rashomon-style, a life that appears ordinary but is anything but. This is a mystery of one mother that reveals itself to be the mystery of all our mothers: about her triumphs and disappointments and about who she is on her own terms, separate from who she is to her family. If you have ever been a daughter, a son, a husband or a mother, Please Look After Mom is a revelation - one that will bring tears to your eyes.
A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah
The devastating story of war through the eyes of a child soldier. Beah tells how, at the age of twelve, he fled attacking rebels and wandered a land rendered unrecognizable by violence. By thirteen, he’d been picked up by the government army, and became a soldier. My new friends have begun to suspect I haven’t told them the full story of my life. “Why did you leave Sierra Leone?” “Because there is a war.” “You mean, you saw people running around with guns and shooting each other?” “Yes, all the time.” “Cool.” I smile a little. “You should tell us about it sometime.” “Yes, sometime.” This is how wars are fought now: by children, hopped-up on drugs and wielding AK-47s. Children have become soldiers of choice. In the more than fifty conflicts going on worldwide, it is estimated that there are some 300,000 child soldiers. Ishmael Beah used to be one of them. What is war like through the eyes of a child soldier? How does one become a killer? How does one stop? Child soldiers have been profiled by journalists, and novelists have struggled to imagine their lives. But until now, there has not been a first-person account from someone who came through this hell and survived. In A Long Way Gone, Beah, now twenty-five years old, tells a riveting story: how at the age of twelve, he fled attacking rebels and wandered a land rendered unrecognizable by violence. By thirteen, he’d been picked up by the government army, and Beah, at heart a gentle boy, found that he was capable of truly terrible acts. This is a rare and mesmerizing account, told with real literary force and heartbreaking honesty.
#nonfiction#non-fiction#dark mood#Reading Recs#book recs#tbr#booklr#booklist#recommended reading#library#books to read#memoir#reading recommendations
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“Hereditary” Movie Review
Hereditary is A24’s latest foray into the horror genre, and is the feature directorial debut of writer/director Ari Aster. It stars Toni Collette, Gabriel Byrne, Alex Wolff, and Milly Shapiro, and focuses on a young mother named Annie (Collette) in the aftermath of losing her mother to some insidious form of cancer. Her mother was not one of many words, and wasn’t very close to her except in overtly possessive ways regarding Annie’s own children, Peter (Wolff) and Charlie (Shapiro). In the midst of grief, Annie must hold her family, and herself, together.
A24 is without doubt the best independent movie studio operating right now. Of their last 12 major releases alone, 7 have gone on to be Oscar nominees in one or more categories, and all have been critically acclaimed. Hereditary is no exception, and proves beyond rebuttal that this studio has a brilliant handle on filmmaking, particularly wherein it concerns the horror genre. Following The Witch and It Comes at Night was going to be a hard task to pull, but A24, and more specifically writer/director Ari Aster, rose to the occasion. The package delivered is a film full of twists, turns, genre subversions, and skin-crawling horror filmmaking. Even just writing this review here and now, I can feel a partial cloud of terror covering my mind as I think about it just before I go to sleep.
To say much more regarding plot would be spoiling the film, but that may be difficult to do, as Aster weaves in and out of genre convention like a Formula 1 car, subverting just about every possible horror genre one can think of. He directs this film with precision only ever possessed by neurosurgeons in regards to non-film related fields, and one can feel the scalpel burrowing under with each passing minute. You think you’ve seen this kind of (insert horror subgenre here) movie before? You haven’t, I can promise you that. Aster imbues each of his characters with such a rich (if weary) life without them even having to say more than 8 words to each other in 20 minutes, and it is spellbinding seeing how they all deal with this passing, and the revelations that come to light afterwards.
Grief is a major theme throughout most of the film, often driving both plot and protagonist, never straying for too long once the horror sets in. Every decision characters make in this film is (generally) a result of, or rooted in grief, and such a theme lends itself quite well to the horror genre, making one question everything’s validity, even the protagonist at times. Aster crafts the film around grief, but further than that, he crafts it around desperation. Inside of grief, there is a desperate need; to set things right, to escape consequence, to heal, to be in community, to erase or even turn back its instigator. Whether any of these things or something else, grief always carries desperation in its arms, and Aster, fully understanding this, uses it to give characters arcs that one finds themselves less on board with even as you find them more relatable. It truly is a brilliant masterpiece in subversion of both expectation and re-expectation. Don’t expect to know or even figure out eventually where the film might be going.
But it’s not only subversive or unexpected. It is also quite terrifying. The horror of Hereditary is rooted in character decisions that come from grief, yes, but in that sense, it’s made all the more horrifying. Aster wisely avoids jump scares essentially the entire film, relying instead on atmosphere, slick camera work (seriously, this thing is beautifully shot), and masterful movement choreography from his actors to sell the scare. A good strength among the horror genre also is sound design, and Aster knows exactly when the cut in and cut out on those cues to maximize the effect his scares are meant to have. And boy, do those horror moments scare you when they come.
Every performance in this movie is remarkable, particularly Toni Collette, who stretches her character to some genuinely surprising places, yet still makes you want to go there with her, regardless of how strange it might look to anyone with a more objective point of view. It’s unknown right up until the final ten minutes how much of her decision-making is rooted in her grief or whether she’s simply insane, but Collette sells every note of it. She knocks every mood shift, decision switch, and sudden turn out of the park in what’s truly an award-worthy turn, and she should be praise by all critics and film fans forever for what she does here. Also getting a chance to stretch quite a bit here though is Nat Wolff. His character is asked to go to some pretty horrifying, brutal places, and Wolff keeps step-in-step with Collette, giving a performance both mesmerizing and sympathetic, without falling straight into generic or typical horror movie teen tropes. Gabriel Byrne, although in the film a bit less than the two aforementioned performers, also makes a lasting impression, playing somewhat off-beat to the straight man everyone expects to have a handle on things in this sort of scenario. Milly Shapiro has her moment in the sun as well as Collette’s daughter Charlie, playing the “scary horror kid,” in a way that may not seem terrifying at first, but whose terror hangs ominously over the film for a good majority of its runtime. I can’t wait to see more from her in the near future.
In terms of flaws, the pacing in the first half of the picture is just a tiny bit slow. While one can understand that this is sometimes necessary to set up character, the main plot, motivation, etc., the film takes a little while getting to what that main plot will be in order to set up the characters, and one feels they could have done a little of both at the same time, maybe spending about 80% of the first act on one and 20% on the other, and perhaps it would have been a little bit smoother that way. In addition, when compared to A24’s other horror ventures, it surpasses the admittedly disappointing ending of It Comes at Night, but falls just short of capturing the full extent of the atmospheric, all-encompassing horror of The Witch. But these are truly quite minor complaints compared to the vast mastery of work on display in this third horror installment from the studio.
This film deserves to eventually become a classic of the horror genre by way of being the modern day “answer” to films like The Exorcist or The Shining (although there is far more to its brilliance than that), but even if that doesn’t happen, Ari Aster, the whole cast, and the amazingly talented folks at A24 should be congratulating themselves on a job well done. Aster in particular should be praised here, as this is easily one of the most masterful debuts in feature filmmaking that I have ever seen. Hereditary is terrifying, haunting, and at times, for very brief windows, an unexpectedly moving and intimate portrait of grief: a very human monster.
I’m giving “Hereditary” a 9.3/10
#Hereditary#Movie Review#The Friendly Film Fan#Toni Collette#Gabriel Byrne#Alex Wolff#Milly Shapiro#movie#film#review#horror#thriller#genre#A24#Ari Aster
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Empty
I decided to try my hand at Grey’s fanfic. Here’s something I wrote for the following anonymous prompt on @omeliafics:
“Set after 14x08, the little boy dies from the heparin, Amelia feels responsible cuz she told Alexa to chance it. She relates it to feeling responsible about her baby’s death. Owen is there to comfort her and finally gets why she’s so scared of having more children”
I think I strayed just a tiny bit from the prompt, so I apologize to whoever wrote this prompt. As the fic started to take shape, it went in a slightly different direction, and I just sort of went with it. Please be patient with me as I’m new to Tumblr, I’ve never written any Grey’s fanfiction before, and I’ve never really been much of a writer.
Empty
Empty. Everything was empty right now. The darkened on-call room Amelia was sitting in was empty. The coffee cup she had been staring at for the past hour was empty. The room that just this morning had been filled with the chatter of Frankie and his mother as they watched Doc McStuffins together was now empty, the sheets stripped from the bed and the name and vital signs erased from the whiteboard by the door. And Amelia herself felt so empty as she stared at that coffee cup, unable to do anything productive, but unable to go to sleep on one of the old bunks in the on-call room.
If she laid down and closed her eyes, she would see that little boy’s sweet face. She would see his smile and hear his voice talking to his mother about how obvious it was that she wanted to date Dr. Alex. She couldn’t bear to see that face and hear that voice. The guilt that was consuming her, leaving her empty and hollow, was enough to deal with by itself without the image of his face burned onto the backs of her eyelids, assaulting her mind as she tried to sleep.
So here she sat, staring at the empty coffee cup in front of her and willing something, anything to take her mind off of the death of sweet little Frankie. The death that she had caused.
Amelia looked toward the door as she heard it open. She could tell that Owen must not have heard about Frankie because he just shot her a passing glance as he strode across the room to one of the bunks, asking over his shoulder, “Are you about ready to take a nap too?” Amelia opened her mouth to respond, but the words caught in her throat, and she was left staring at his back, willing herself to say something. Or do something. Willing anything to happen that would break the painful emptiness of the last hour.
“What happened?” Owen asked, his head tilting in that way it tended to as he turned back to look at her.
“I, um,” she choked out, “It’s just been a long day.”
“Amelia,” Owen sighed, drawing out the syllables of her name. “You know you can talk to me about anything anytime. That hasn’t changed.”
Amelia stared at him for a few moments, simultaneously trying to decide if she was ready to address this problem out loud and if she was ready to have the most substantive conversation she had had with Owen since their separation. At this point, she figured she might as well. She couldn’t really feel any worse than she was already feeling right now. “Did you hear about Frankie, Alex’s patient with the AVM?” she whispered.
“Oh yeah, he’s having surgery tomorrow, isn’t he?” Owen asked.
“No he’s not because he’s dead,” Amelia bit out. Owen reflexively flinched, but he quickly caught himself and recovered. He shouldn’t have been surprised. This was Amelia. She never minced words. Her next words, though, truly did catch him off guard. “I killed him,” she whispered.
Owen’s mouth fell open a little bit, and then his legs were moving before he even realized it, carrying him over to the bed where Amelia sat. Amelia didn’t move as Owen sat down beside her. “Amelia, I’m sure you didn’t…” he began, but he was quickly cut off.
“No Owen,” she said forcefully, speaking louder than she had in hours. “He had Factor V Leiden, so he was on anticoagulation. He came to the hospital for vitamin K to reverse the anticoagulation before the surgery. He started vomiting and complaining of a severe headache, but we didn’t have his records, so we couldn’t see if he’d gotten the vitamin K. Alex came to talk to me, and I told him to give Frankie heparin. He hadn’t gotten any vitamin K, and he had a massive brain hemorrhage. I killed that boy, Owen.”
Owen’s heart clenched as he tried to think of something to say. He thought of the times a patient had died because of a decision he had made, and he knew there was nothing that was going to take her pain away, but he struggled to come up with something to say to help her through this. “Amelia,” he began, “you are the most brilliant neurosurgeon I know. This kid had the best possible care out there. You made a decision based on what you knew, using your knowledge to do the best you could to give him a chance at life. Sometimes we do everything we can and it still falls apart on us. It hurts like hell, but it doesn’t make you less of a surgeon. You didn’t kill him.”
“But what if I didn’t think like a neurosurgeon?” she whispered.
“Excuse me?” Owen asked, struggling to follow her train of thought.
“The choice to give him that heparin without knowing if he had gotten the vitamin K was not the choice of a neurosurgeon, Owen,” she explained. “That dose of heparin was not part of stroke protocol.”
“The system was down, you had no way of knowing,” Owen began to argue, but Amelia cut him off.
“No, Owen,” she said, her voice once again gaining confidence. “Stroke protocol states that you don’t treat a patient for ischemic stroke without confirmation that it’s not hemorrhagic. I knew that the CT was inconclusive. I knew that we were unsure if the anticoagulation had been reversed or not. I knew that giving the heparin was against protocol, but I chose to do it anyway. I could feed you some line about how protocols aren’t foolproof and I used my best medical judgment to do what we could with what we had, but that would be a lie. The truth is that, in that moment, I thought like the woman who spent weeks knowing that she had a baby growing inside her that had no brain. During those weeks, every time I looked in the mirror I wished that there was something we could try. I wouldn’t have cared if it had been a gamble. Having the opportunity to try something would have been far better than weeks of knowing that he was going to die regardless of what I did. So today, when I saw that little boy vomiting and crying, I knew that I was supposed to wait until I could confirm that his anticoagulation had been reversed, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t just let that boy suffer and die. So I chose to gamble, and it cost Frankie his life.”
By this point, tears were rolling freely down Amelia’s cheeks. As Owen reached out to brush the tears from her cheeks, he struggled to make sense of the sea of emotions swirling through him. He was devastated for Amelia. He would do anything to take away the pain of today, the pain of the death of her son, and all of the pain that seemed to find her in every season of her life. He was also shocked to have heard the words that had just come out of her mouth. In all the months of their marriage, he could not recall a single conversation that was as honest and emotionally raw as the one they were having now. Finally, he was grateful to her for trusting him with her pain, doubts, and guilt. He knew Amelia was a professional at hiding all of these things, and he was honored that she had chosen to share all of this with him, even in the place they were currently at in their relationship.
Owen wrapped his arms around Amelia, pulling her head into his chest much like he had the night she had met Penny at the dinner party. “Oh, Amelia,” he whispered, closing his eyes and struggling to come up with anything else to say.
Amelia sniffled into Owen’s chest for a few more minutes before breaking the silence. “Children are so beautiful and innocent and perfect,” she whispered. “The world is too cruel for them. My world is too cruel for them. Every child who comes into my world is broken by this cruelty. I am terrified of bringing another child into my world just so he can have his life shattered by a neural tube defect or a computer virus.”
As Amelia spoke, Owen felt the tears begin to well in his own eyes. For the first time, he thought he was beginning to understand why Amelia hadn’t wanted children after that negative pregnancy test. His heart broke for Amelia and for the tiny little boy who had only gotten to experience the beauty and depth of Amelia’s love for 43 minutes.
Amelia felt one of Owen’s tears run down onto her forehead, and her heart clenched. Here they were, sitting in a dark on-call room with tears streaming down their faces and no rings on their left hands, but finally beginning to pick up the pieces from the mess of their conflict about having children. As Amelia glanced down at the coffee cup that she had dropped onto the ground a while ago, she thought that she still felt pretty empty, but she was oddly at peace with it now. Perhaps one has to be emptied in order to be healed and filled again.
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And the Flashback Starts || Leo & Maia
After one of Leo and Maia’s usual “modeling” sessions, an old painting comes to light, leading to a discussion about love lost, family tension, and what could have been.
Pulling her shirt back on over her head, Maia wandered around Leo’s studio, looking at some of his other artwork. Besides the obvious benefits of their arrangement, Maia was always very interested in his work. She didn’t have much artistic ability of her own, so it was nice to see other people succeed in something that was just so creative and freeform. Leo’s art was also an interesting way of seeing into who he was, what he was feeling, where his head was at. Which was something that she couldn’t always see. As she walked around the studio, a painting caught her eye. She was used to seeing paintings of other models, but there was something about this particular one that captured her attention. She was beautiful, of course she was, but there was something else underneath the beauty.
“I haven’t seen this one before. Is it new?” Maia asked, glancing over her shoulder to look at Leo. “Or did you just want to revisit it?”
Leo had been looking for a painting he had done months ago when he has stumbled upon the older painting of Bobbi. It had been a Valentine’s Day where Leo was alone, sad and wallowing a particularly deep hole of ‘what if’. Bobbi was easily Leo’s biggest what if. And so he had tried to pour all of the love he still felt for the girl into a canvas. The end result was Bobbi bathed in light pink light, her face looking down and forlorn. The undertones were blues, as usual of Leo, instead of using skin tones using brighter colors. She was beautiful, but slightly sad. She was quite easily one of his best moments paintings. He sat up to look up at Maia and his face morphed into a mix of soft sadness and adoration. “I did it a year ago. I was looking for a different painting and found it. It’s one of my favorites.”
Regarding the painting, Maia tilted her head as she took in the lighting, the colors. It was a soft melancholy, an emotion mirrored in Leo’s expression. There was something about the girl that meant more than the painting—she wasn’t just an image on canvas. “It’s beautiful.” She said quietly and nodded. “I can see why it’s your favorite.” She replied as she turned to look at him. There was something very quiet about him right now, something to do with the painting. ���She means a lot to you, doesn’t she?” Maia commented, her use of the present tense very deliberate. There was something about this girl that still affected him, even now.
Leo was sure he would always love her. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to get over her. There were moments when he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to love anyone else. He avoided romantic involvements specifically for that. “Valentine’s Day is a good day for inspiration.” He sighed, not upset or annoyed but almost tired. “Yes. She very easily changed my life and made me a different man. She was my first love. Bobbi Truman, future lead neurosurgeon of the nation.”
Maia resisted the urge to wince. Valentine’s Day. The day practically dedicated to her father and the chaos he caused among love stricken people. And, of course, those who were hearbroken. “I can imagine.” Maia nodded. Bobbi Truman. “A neurosurgeon?” Any kind of surgeon had to be absolutely brilliant, which honestly made a lot of sense for Leo. “Beautiful and brilliant. What happened to her..?” Maia asked cautiously, not wanting to pry too much. She didn’t want to drudge up the past if it hurt him.
Valentine’s Day was a hard day for Leo. Not only was it the day to represent all love, but It was Bobbi’s birthday. So, of course, he would text her to wish her a good day and often spend the rest of the day looking at that text. “Yep. That was how she introduced herself to me the first time we met. She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met.” His fingers drummed against his knee. “She went to New York. We were high school sweethearts, we even planned out our move there together. I backed out and stayed here. We broke up. I wasn’t going to make her feel tied down because of it.”
Maia listened quietly as Leo talked. So this was who had broken Leo’s heart. And it made sense that he had fallen in love with her and had been devastated when they went their separate ways. Reaching out, Maia pulled Leo into a hug, holding him tightly. She didn’t know how to support him with words, but hopefully he would understand the gesture. “Do you think she’d ever come back?” She asked, the question a bit muffled as she spoke into his chest. “New Rome has a lot of opportunities for doctors.”
Leo held her tight. He hadn’t told anyone about the fact that he was going to move with her and it shook him to admit it out loud. He was the reason they broke up, he was the reason he was miserable. It was his fault. “I went to a mortal high school. She wouldn’t be allowed in.” From the beginning, he should have known it was a damned relationship. He had tried to put it off. Ignore the feelings, but they just grew and grew and grew. “I would have had to move to the mortal world. It wouldn’t have worked out. Love is kind of fucked up.”
Rubbing his back soothingly, Maia’s heart went out to Leo. Falling for a mortal… a tricky business. And she didn’t blame him for not wanting to leave New Rome. The mortal world was messy and hard. Besides, his family had expectations that she knew Leo had to meet. Even if he went about it in odd ways, he was still a Karavadra. “You don’t need to tell me that twice.” Maia laughed, a bit of a hollow sound. “Love has a way of getting us right where we hurt the most.”
Taking comfort in another woman’s touch… Leo wondered how Bobbi would think of it, then realized that she wouldn’t think it was her place to comment. It was a hollow comfort that she wouldn’t make a comment, even though there was no way for her to know about this. Leo wondered when he would stop taking comfort in a girl who lived across the country. “I was going to go to school at Parsons, I was even accepted, while she did her pre-med program. I’d paint and she’d bring home the real money. She was okay with that. She was happy with me and all my weird things.” He shook his head,“Love as a way of tattooing you. Each one leaves a mark.”
Each one leaves a mark. Maybe that was how it worked for other people, but Maia couldn’t entirely relate. Not unless the gaping hole that her father had left in the lives of her and her mother counted. “There’s still a chance? If she’s still out there, doing amazing things and saving lives...Maybe one day you could go looking for her.” She offered. It wouldn’t be easy, but if she wanted to be a fancy brain surgeon, there couldn’t be too many named Bobbi Truman. And Google was a powerful thing. “And if you felt-- feel as strongly as you do… I think she would too.” Maia said with a small shrug.
Leo had experienced quite a bit of love over his years; platonic love, romantic love, familial love, unrequited love. He had loved friends, he loved Bobbi, he loved his siblings and his cousins, and he had loved his father even when it wasn’t returned. “See, I still talk to her, weekly at least. We were friends before we were anything else, I couldn’t let that relationship go. She’s seeing this guy named Andrew.” He had never met Andrew and didn’t plan on it, but he was sure that he was a good guy if Bobbi had picked him. “She does, but I’m not willing to move. And I won’t ask her to for me.”
Another man… That definitely made the situation harder. Maia couldn’t fathom how much that must hurt, to know that woman you love is with someone else and still being in a position where he supports her? “At least you still have her around to talk to. Even if it can’t be anything more than that at this point in time. And, just because you’re not willing to move now doesn’t mean you won’t ever be.” Maia gestured around them. “All things come to an end. I don’t even know if I’m going to stay in New Rome beyond the Legion now and that’s something I never thought would happen. Things change, Leo. Maybe it’ll change for the better for you two.”
New Rome was his home, almost all of his memories were within New Rome’s boundaries. Leo couldn’t expect that he would be welcomed back with open arms if he left, especially for a mortal. Perhaps his siblings would understand, but everyone else he grew up with? It wouldn’t make sense to them. “Maybe. Moving across the country would be a lot. Especially considering all of my family is here and they probably won’t travel to the East Coast.” It was an old Roman thought that the East Coast would simply bring bad luck to anyone who traveled there. “She’s very happy with Andrew. He’s a pretty high powered lawyer, which is good for her. They’re both ambitious… Which can’t be said about me. I don’t know, as long as she’s happy, I’ll be happy for her.” Not happy himself, but happy for her.
His family. The Karavadras, with all their expectations and graces. Resting her forehead against his chest as she snuggled into his embrace, Maia spoke up, “Sometimes we need to take a chance. I did it when I came here. You never know how things will turn out, but if it’s a shot at something that would make you happy, at someone who’d make you happy…” Maia shrugged. “I’d say go for it.” The other man really did put a damper on things. Maia couldn’t help but be annoyed at this random Andrew guy for coming between Leo and Bobbi-- she didn’t really know the situation, but she knew Leo. And she wanted him to be happy. He was one of those people who deserved to be loved and in love. “Your ambitious, with your art. You do a lot of really unique stuff, you take risks with your artwork.” She said, choosing not to comment on the happiness part. That was a different battle to fight that she didn’t particularly want to get into.
Leo was a man who loved physical contact; cuddling, sex, you name it Leo enjoyed it. There was something so inherently comforting about physical contact to him. Holding Maia like this was nice and calming for him. “I can’t leave my siblings with my father.” He finally admitted, after long seconds of silence. “Without the family disappointment, his negative attentions will shift to them and they can’t risk it.” Both Jefferson and Andrew held Leo back from going to Bobbi. He couldn’t ask her to pick between him and Andrew. He couldn’t force Cat to become the sudden family disappointment because of his departure. “I suppose. Not many people feel that way about it. I think most see art as a rather lazy career.”
The concept of having a family like Leo’s was incredibly foreign to Maia, though she knew of Jefferson Karavadra by proxy. And, though she was never particularly close with Jax or Cat, she could understand why Leo would be concerned for their well-being. Callum was her brother and if he was ever placed in a position where their father… well, she’d do whatever she could to keep him safe from Cupid. “I see. And I can kinda understand where you’re coming from. But, you shouldn’t be the beast of burden all the time.” She said, with a sigh. “That’s because people think that being an artist is easy. I’ve seen enough of your paintings to know that’s not true.” She smiled.
Leo wasn’t willing to let his siblings be the focus of Jefferson’s attention. Even when he wanted to be his father’s favorite, he hadn’t been willing to let them take the blame for anything. Even when they got in trouble, Leo went out of his way to do something worse to make his father mad. It worked most of the time, at least until he was written off as the heir or anyone of real significance. “I’m the older brother, of course I have to.” He said with a laugh, though it wasn’t as genuine as usual. Cat and Jax have their own burdens. This is mine.” He smiles at that,”you’ve also been in enough of them.” Leo attempted to make his style unique, often combining colors in skin tones to portray emotions but still attempted to make the colors natural. Often he ended up with pastel colors. “And thank you. I try to make my stuff good enough for praise like that.”
Maia frowned at that, but, again, she had little frame of reference for understanding the inner workings of the Karavadra family. She supposed that, on some level, Callum might feel that way towards her. But, they were so close in age that it never really seemed like that. “Well, I’m sure that they understand what you’re doing and appreciate it.” She said as she reached up to smooth out stray lock of hair, mused from their earlier activities. “I guess I’m a bit biased.” Maia laughed and shrugged. “You’re very talented, Leo, honest. And you more than deserve praise for your work.”
There was a piece of Leo that wasn’t convinced that his siblings knew that he did anything like he did for them. He was sure they understood somethings, but his craft was one he had mastered over quite a bit of time, the finer details overlooked by most eyes. “They know we all have our place and job in the family. I think Jax is happy that I’m not heir, he’s probably going to be running the bank eventually.” Jax would be good at it, though he wondered if he’d be good at it without turning into their father. “Well, the reason I even have art shows anymore is so I can hear all the ‘ohs’ and ‘ahs’.”
“I see.” Maia said as she trailed her fingers up his chest. All this talk of family and bad blood and… ghosts of the past weren’t exactly what she wanted. Which was exactly why she wanted to change the subject back to something a bit more in the present. “Ohs and ahs, hm? I think we could do a bit more of that right here, hm?” She teased, standing up on her tiptoes to kiss at his neck. Maybe this would take his mind off the past and put him back in the here and now.
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BTS as Actors (Hollywood AU)
I read the tags people left as they reblogged my latest edit: Bts as Actors Mockup and many requested to know the full synopsis of the movies, so read on if you are interested on the individual storylines. These are just some thoughts of the complete plots that were in my head as I designed. If you want to write fics based on any of my plots, you’re welcomed to do so but please credit + link back to my tumblr account & edit. Thank you!
TAEHYUNG: THE PRISON GRENADE
Taehyung plays the role of Jang Hyun who was captured for suspected arson. Jang had been seen and nabbed at the Port of Busan when the containers caught fire. Arrested, he was detained and eventually jailed when sufficient evidence worked against him. He doesn’t have a clean record. But his past crimes were mostly petty theft. The police and prison wardens saw him as nothing but an amateur criminal, and left Jang alone. Little did they know that this was his ploy. They had underestimated his abilities, the way his sweet words cold cajole criminals to work for him, his touches in the dark could seek favours from those who lusted after him, his face: pretty, charming and handsome, could make the nastiest men follow his heel like dogs after their masters. Jang was the slyest criminal the police didn’t know they would face, and he’d intentionally let himself be caught, so that he could be thrown into prison, and test his abilities to get himself out. It was all just a challenge to him, a dare that the genius in him gave his conscience. Jang burst his way out of jail with the criminals as his syndicate, just to prove that he was a serpent. He would be caught if he wanted to, and released if he desired.
HOSEOK: THE BRIDGE ACROSS MEMORIES
Hoseok plays the role of Edward Kang Shin, a child who grew up in the farms because his parents passed away during a fishing trip. Ever since his parents’ passing, he had been left in the care of his grandmother. She raised him single-handedly, worked in the fields so that she could send him to the village school. When he’d reached a certain age, Edward started to beg his grandmother to let him do some chores, because he’d wanted to help out at home or in the fields. Deeming him too young to work, she’d told him to focus on his homework or he’d fall back in school. Defiant, and struggling to prove himself, Edward left home one day to pluck seaweed for dinner when his grandmother made a short trip to a neighbour’s house. He’d wanted to show her that he was old enough to do it. So he took his cart, wore his shoes and set off towards the beach. Neighbours who’d passed by looked at him quizzically. It’s odd that Grandma Kang would let her beloved grandson roam around unattended. But he tripped on a rock, and fell into the sea when the waves were dangerous. He’d hit his head against a breakwater and promptly fainted. By mysterious luck, he survived and drifted until a fisherman found him. He took Edward him, raised him, until he was found a job in Seoul to pursue his dream of being a radio DJ. Edward was renamed as Lee Hyojun and he lived under this identity due to lost memories. He started to have dreams that he’d a grandmother, although his adoptive father did not have a mother. He talked about this dreams, and created a radio segment called “Dream and Recall”, where listeners could call in about their dreams. Hyojun (Edward) shared his until he realized that they were too realistic to be considered dreams. They felt real, like Déjà Vus that clung onto his memories. His program started to grow famous, and one day his grandmother tuned in from their village to listen to his segment. She listened to him describe about their past, listened to him describe the poppies and sunflowers in the vast fields, listened to him say he used to have a basket where he’d keep his toys. Stunned, she received help from the younger villagers to call the radio station to request for the radio DJ’s name. Hyojun? Her grandson’s name is Kang Shin. With dimming hope, she’d asked the young villagers to search through Naver for the radio DJ’s program and profile, and found an interview where he’d talked about losing his memory and being discovered by a fisherman. Eventually, his grandmother realizes that he is Kang Jun and she rushes to Seoul to reunite with him.
JUNGKOOK: THE DERANGED BEAST
Jungkook plays the role of Aaron Byun who had been snatched by child traffickers when he was only three. HIs parents had brought him for a trip to the Haeundae beach when he was kidnapped. When he was told he’d been kidnapped, he did not shed a single tear, neither did he cry. Young and innocent, he was the perfect candidate to be the syndicate’s next heir. Raised by the leader (who’d always wanted breed an heir), he was ruthless. Aaron was trained to kill when he needed to, and was told to be as unforgiving as a harsh winter. He grew up strong, fearless and unwavering even with men begged to be kept alive. He forgets that he has two loving parents, forgets that he could have the chance to go to school, grow up normal and have friends, forgets that he is just a boy from busan, one without the blood of innocent people on his hands. Then, one day, he is tasked to kill a aged couple because they had passed through a murder scene and were core witnesses to the syndicate’s crime. He kills them both, but almost falters when his first victim stares at his neckless rather than his face. She whispers, shell-shocked “My son. You’re my son!” The man kneeling beside her starts to cry, not at the situation, but at her words. Aaron fires two bullets and they slump forward. Even then, she crawls towards him and places a hand on his shoe. “You’re my son. My son,” she sobs, tears trickling down her bloodied face; eyes glassy from the life that seeps through her skin to the blood the stains the carpet. “we’ve been looking for you. Always.” After that night, Aaron start to investigate and question his origins. He realizes that he’d killed his biological parents, and they had never stopped searching for him every since he’d been kidnapped. Deranged, Aaron swears that he will destroy the syndicate and crush them into pieces, for they had taken his childhood, his life, his parents and crushed them to smithereens.
SEOKJIN: DRIFTING CLOSER
Seokjin plays the role of Yong Seongu, a neurosurgeon born into a rich, and unrelenting family, where his parents dictated his path, decided what was the best for him and sieved away what wasn’t. He lived through the vast majority of his life trapped and unhappy. He hated being a doctor, but he had to be. One day, he speaks to a random stranger in the park, an old man whose eyes were wiser than his father’s. The old man speaks to him like he speaks to a child, and asks him simple but piercing questions. Seongu realizes that he isn’t happy and that life will pass in a blink of an eye if he continues to let himself stay within a rut. Inspired and somewhat reckless, Seongu quits his job and flies to Europe without the consent of his parents. He lives a carefree life, travels from city to city to take pictures, and explores the reasons why he’d lost his dreams in the first place. He starts to heal, starts to gain inspiration, starts to find a sense of direction in his life. Eventually, he goes back to Seoul and lives away from his estranged parents. He starts a photography company with his savings. Months later, his mother visits him unannounced and notices the difference. There are sparks in his eyes and his footsteps are so light she wonders just how heavy his heart once was. In the end, his parents accept him for who his is and they rebuild their relationship.
JIMIN: WHITE HELL’S MONSTER
Jimin plays the role of Julian Kim, a poor college student studying in Seoul National University. One day he goes for a party and his friends tell him that there is a paid experiment looking for students. Naive and simple, Julian signs up for the paid experiment and arrives at the venue of the centre. He is met with a doctor, who explains that he will be blindfolded and lead to a room to sit to await his turn. However, time ticks and the room gets quieter by the hours. He doesn’t know why he is left alone and peels off the blindfold. When he does, he is shocked to find himself in an empty white room, with no windows and a truckload of ceiling cameras. Unknown gas fills the room and Julian passes out. He wakes up and discovers that the room has changed. There are two beds, no windows, pristine sheets and more ceiling cameras. Worse, his ankles are bound to the bed. He ends up tortured, cut open with invasive surgeries without painkillers, passes out when he gets stitched up, almost loses his limbs from the extreme, inhumane experiments conducted on him.... until he starts to go insane, loses control of his body and mind, and lets himself succumb to the darkness. When the police eventually find him, both his body and mind are beyond repair.
NAMJOON: A BROTHER’S PROMISE
Namjoon plays the role of Nam Gyeongwan, the sole breadwinner and older brother to his visually-impaired sister Nam Gyeongah. They were born from alcoholic parents, who would beat their daughter, so hard that she’d lost 60% of her eyesight due to a head injury. Their alcoholic parents died in a car accident and Gyeongwan has been providing for his sister ever since. Although he was a brilliant student, he had to quit university and take on odd jobs to earn money for her treatments and school fees at the School for the Disabled. One day, triad goons drove into the petrol station that he was working as, and they humiliated him by throwing trash at him. Angered, Gyeongwan has a rough fistfight with the gangsters and although they lost, the gangsters swore to take revenge. Their revenge came in the form of a kidnap, when they took Gyeongah from when she was waiting for Gyeongwan to pick her up at the school gates. Gyeongwan begs the triad to release her, but because of his combat skills, the gang decided to make use of those skills. They bargained that if he would work for them, they will leave his sister unharmed, but if he failed on the mission, they would add a cut on her body. Gyeongwan goes through hell, and spills blood with his bare hands. Each time he kills, he tries to think of her face, her sweet, radiant face whenever she held his hand as they walked. Gyeongwan eventually saves his sister from the triads.
YOONGI: KEYS & CLOSURE
Yoongi plays the role of Yang Junyeong, a budding concert pianist that struggles to make a living by performing at night and delivering pizza in the day. He’d come from a good family, and was pressurized to pursue the path of an engineer. When he’d quit university to chase after his passion, his parents deemed him a disgrace and kicked him out of the house. Dejected and penniless, Junyeong began to take up part time jobs to sustain his love for piano. Throughout this ordeal, his childhood bestfriend and girlfriend, Lee Yunsa, does not leave his side, but stays with him even during his darkest moments. Young and very much in love, Junyeong works harder so that he can provide for the both of them. Yunsa’s parents disagree with her involvement with a university dropout, but she ignores their protests and moves out to stay with him. They scrimp and save, until they are wealthy enough to start a family. She’s bright, cheerful and whenever she talks about starting a family and raising kids, she always has a spark in her eyes. But before the night of their marriage, she jumps off the Mapo bridge and drowns. This shatters Junyeong’s view of their world, the world they had painstakingly built together. Wasn’t she happy? Weren’t they happy? What could have possibly driven her to her death? Junyeong ransacks their shared apartment, desperately hunting for clues; a suicide note, a diary, anything that could give him answers. But he finds nothing. He sinks into depression and mopes. His friends help him and they encourage him to play the piano to seek comfort. A few months later, he finally has the strength and courage to play the piano. And when he does, he realizes to his horror that she’d written her suicide letter as lyrics to his melodies, scribbles in fine ink below each note on the music score. She explains that although she loves him so much, she’d cheated on him, and it was her fault because she was drunk. But she couldn’t live past her guilt, especially when Junyeong had been so loving. Hence she killed herself and left him behind, as a chance to redeem herself because he’d be free to love again. Knowing this and extremely heartbroken, Junyeong composes a piano piece and dedicates it to her as he performs it around the world, often ending the performance with tears streaming down his cheeks. Even though, she’d cheated on him, he finds it difficult to forget his first love, his one and only soulmate that decided that her death would not be strong enough to drag his soul along with hers. He doesn’t find another lover, doesn’t marry another woman and he also doesn’t stop playing the piano.
#personal#I really wanted to write these down!#it's almost like a story lmao i wrote a little too much
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The Magicians (working title)
The Magicians
(working title)
I’m somewhat in love with this idea but want you guys to tell me what you think of the first two “chapters”
The sun is setting behind the New York skyline. Two men stand on a 32-story rooftop. One stands with his back to the setting sun, letting the shadows hid his face. “You have the money?” He asks the man squinting into the sun. The squinting man starts to make excuses, protests he didn’t have enough time. The shaded man becomes annoyed and then enraged when the other man asks for more time. He looks at the other man and with no warning pushes him over the edge of the building. The shaded man doesn’t even blink at the scream of terror fading away as the other man falls to his death. He calmly pulls out his phone and dials a number. “Comrade. We have a problem.” He says into the phone. The sound of approaching sirens forces the man to move off the roof.
Below firemen and the police clean up another death. It’s the fifteenth of is kind this month and the fourth that week. The director of NYPD shares a worried look with the man standing next to him.
“I believe its time to make Operation Magicians into action Colonel Anderson.” The police chief says. The man next to him sighs deeply. “We will work with you to find the best people on our force.”
Colonel Anderson sighs again. “Thank you, Archie. However, we can’t use cops.” The chief’s nostrils flare at the slight. He opens his mouth to protest but the colonel holds up his had to stop him. “They know all the cops. They will know we are coming for them. We can’t make this team out of cops.”
The chief’s shoulders slump exhaustedly. “Who are you going to recruit?” The colonel pinches the bridge of is nose. “I don’t know but I will figure it out. I will have to.” He says as they watch the body be put in a body bag and the sun finally slips behind the skyscrapers of the city.
Six Months later….
Jacob Anderson
I look at the paper covered cork board in frustration. The red string crossing and twisting around pictures and articles with little notes in between hasn’t brought us any closer to solving the biggest case of espionage this department has seen in 20 years.
This past year has seen over 200 bodies turn up all connected to this case. All having jumped, or in my suspicion pushed, from the roofs of buildings. The answer is staring me in the face but for some reason I can’t figure out what the answer is.
“Fuck.” I groan, running my hand through my hair, probably making it stand on end more than it already is. The door bangs open and Nicole, my assistant on the case, comes rushing in.
“We found her.” She gasps, having run up the six floors from the surveillance room. “Show me.” I demand, pulling a pair of glasses out of jacket pocket. She hands me the tablet letting me see the surveillance. There she is. The girl on the tablet screen performs another complicated card trick mesmerizing the crowd and her helpful “assistant”. What they don’t realize is she’s robbing them right under their noses. The girl quickly finishes the trick, releasing the audience from its captivated spell. She sticks around briefly for the applause and then quickly flit through the crowd just as the victims of her robbery notice their belongings are gone. By the time they kick up any great fuss the girl is lost to the crowded New York streets.
I shut the tablet off. “We have someone following her. Correct?” I level her with the glare that says the answer better be a yes. She rolls her eyes at my glare. I guess 10 years of working together has made her immune to me. “Connor and McDade are on it.” She tells me. I snort. Those two are shit at stealth. I say as much.
Nichols shrugs and says “They found the bar she works at. Alice was going to attempt to approach her there.” I groan. That’s even worse. Alice McDade doesn’t have a smooth bone in her body. She’s brilliant on the computer and can make a machine tell everything she wants but she can’t see to speak to real people. Shaking my head, I close my eyes and silently send up a prayer to deity is listening. Hopefully they’ll give McDade the grace she needs to not botch this up.
When I open my eyes, Agent Nichols is staring me with an amused expression on her face. I scowl at her.
“Head home Agent Nichols. Tomorrow will be an interesting day and I’m going to need you at full capacity.” There’s another eye roll and something said her breath that sounds suspiciously like “he’s been saying that for 10 years. When will he learn?” The door to the main office shuts out the rest of her quiet griping. If anyone else tried to leave like that I would have called them back in and reamed them within an inch of their life. Agent Nicole Nichols is different and after putting up with me for a better part of 10 years, I believe she gets to bitch about me whenever she likes.
I look at the file that Nichols left on the desk besides the tablet. It’s a very thin file about the girl on the screen. Mikalya Ross. The final piece of our puzzle. I place head shot on a separate board and connect the red string to her pin. Effectively closing the circle. I take a deep breath and feel some peace wash over me. Picking up my black briefcase, I head for the door. I take one last long sweeping look, trying to savor the last few minutes of calm this room will experience the next few months. I stride back to the board with the finished circle and in thick black marker I write ‘The Magicians’ on the board. Nodding once to myself, I walk out the room. The door closes and the entire building settles into what is going to be the last quiet night in a long time.
Idan Ayaba
The house is still silent when I creep downstairs at 7:30 am. I tread softly into the kitchen and try not to roll my eyes at my mother passed out on the kitchen table, surgery notes spread out around her. I quietly open the fridge and grab the lunch I prepped the night before. I also press the on button to the coffee machine. I walk out towards the door and pass my father passed out on the couch his medical notes spread him as well. I heft the heavy backpack full of medical textbooks and walk out the house. I take a deep breath of the cool New York air and fish a stack of mini playing cards out of the pocket of my hoodie. I automatically stat shuffling the cards while I actively try not to get angry at my parents.
For the past 15 years the routine has been the same. I wake up, get ready, make coffee and leave all before they even wake up. They are gone by the time I’m home and I’m asleep by the time they get home. Fifteen long fucking years of the same routine and now they want me to join them. To become a neurosurgeon like them. To chase whatever dream they have been chasing since they came to this country when I was five. The dream that had my parents missing every important event of most of my life.
I’m still fuming when I make it to my destination. I have a meeting with a police chief about becoming a medical liaison for the government. I let the receptionist know who I am here to see and she gives me a smile that looks a touch like pity. I try to shake the weird feeling I that continues to grow in the pit of my stomach as the glass elevator rises to the top. The door opens and I’m let out to a large room with four other girls.
As I take a seat in the only other available chair, I survey my competition. The one slouched in the corner has long, dark curly hair and is wearing all black. She’s flicking a lighter and passing her hand almost through the flame. Obviously, not any competition if her attire and affinity for fire is any indication.
The girl across from me is fiddling with the ends of her pink patterned hijab. The one shade of pink matches her lipstick and sneakers. She’s nervous and for some reason I feel like it has nothing to do with the interview. The other two girls are in the corner. The once girl towers over the other. The tallest one has on a killer, however interview inappropriate, teal jump suit with a pair of designer heels and a fedora. The entire outfit is fantastic and something I would wear. I’m also pretty sure the jumpsuit came out of one of the Nigerian fashion houses. I’m incredibly jealous and impressed that an white American woman would know about the Nigerian fashion houses when so many African don’t even recognize them. I wonder if she’s lost. The shorter girl has on the simplest outfit of all of us. She’s wearing a simple t-shirt that read ‘you don’t get a spirit animal’ and jeans. Not one of these girls seem like the correct fit for the job and that makes me feel the tiniest bit better about my chances.
A door I hadn’t noticed before swings open and tall man with wavy slightly grey hair strides into the room. I recognize him instantly. Colonel Jacob Anderson is director of espionage prevention. Its rumored that his division also trains America’s spies. His division is the dream job for a medical liaison. I look sit up straighter as his gaze turns to me. I make eye contact and try to smile warmly. He smiles in return then turns away.
“Ladies. I want to thank you all for coming.” He says. “I also want to welcome you to the espionage division.” I glance around the room and everyone looks as confused as I do. All I can think of is what the fuck is going on.
#wip#tell me what you think#writing#novel#i want to finish this#spies#girl power#the future is female#all my characters are going to be badasses
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Lesson learned: don’t wait too long to do a book haul otherwise it will be enormous.
Clearly my mission to fill up my new bookshelves plus the discovery of a used bookstore near me has impacted my book-buying habits!
I filmed and posted my Book Haul video for Booktube a couple of weeks ago, but I’ve been putting off taking photos of the books since then, however, I finally was able to take the photos, so I’m able to share with you all the glorious books I purchased over the past several weeks!
If you’d like to watch the video, you can do so here:
youtube
If you’d rather just scroll through and see the synopses for the books, keep on reading!
Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
As soon as Anne Shirley arrives at the snug white farmhouse called Green Gables, she is sure she wants to stay forever . . . but will the Cuthberts send her back to to the orphanage? Anne knows she’s not what they expected—a skinny girl with fiery red hair and a temper to match. If only she can convince them to let her stay, she’ll try very hard not to keep rushing headlong into scrapes and blurting out the first thing that comes to her mind. Anne is not like anyone else, the Cuthberts agree; she is special—a girl with an enormous imagination. This orphan girl dreams of the day when she can call herself Anne of Green Gables.
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Generations of readers young and old, male and female, have fallen in love with the March sisters of Louisa May Alcott’s most popular and enduring novel, Little Women. Here are talented tomboy and author-to-be Jo, tragically frail Beth, beautiful Meg, and romantic, spoiled Amy, united in their devotion to each other and their struggles to survive in New England during the Civil War.
Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge
Since birth, Nyx has been betrothed to the evil ruler of her kingdom-all because of a foolish bargain struck by her father. And since birth, she has been in training to kill him.
With no choice but to fulfill her duty, Nyx resents her family for never trying to save her and hates herself for wanting to escape her fate. Still, on her seventeenth birthday, Nyx abandons everything she’s ever known to marry the all-powerful, immortal Ignifex. Her plan? Seduce him, destroy his enchanted castle, and break the nine-hundred-year-old curse he put on her people.
But Ignifex is not at all what Nyx expected. The strangely charming lord beguiles her, and his castle—a shifting maze of magical rooms—enthralls her.
As Nyx searches for a way to free her homeland by uncovering Ignifex’s secrets, she finds herself unwillingly drawn to him. Even if she could bring herself to love her sworn enemy, how can she refuse her duty to kill him? With time running out, Nyx must decide what is more important: the future of her kingdom, or the man she was never supposed to love.
To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo
Princess Lira is siren royalty and the most lethal of them all. With the hearts of seventeen princes in her collection, she is revered across the sea. Until a twist of fate forces her to kill one of her own. To punish her daughter, the Sea Queen transforms Lira into the one thing they loathe most—a human. Robbed of her song, Lira has until the winter solstice to deliver Prince Elian’s heart to the Sea Queen or remain a human forever.
The ocean is the only place Prince Elian calls home, even though he is heir to the most powerful kingdom in the world. Hunting sirens is more than an unsavory hobby—it’s his calling. When he rescues a drowning woman in the ocean, she’s more than what she appears. She promises to help him find the key to destroying all of sirenkind for good—But can he trust her? And just how many deals will Elian have to barter to eliminate mankind’s greatest enemy?
Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
Sophie has the great misfortune of being the eldest of three daughters, destined to fail miserably should she ever leave home to seek her fate. But when she unwittingly attracts the ire of the Witch of the Waste, Sophie finds herself under a horrid spell that transforms her into an old lady. Her only chance at breaking it lies in the ever-moving castle in the hills: the Wizard Howl’s castle. To untangle the enchantment, Sophie must handle the heartless Howl, strike a bargain with a fire demon, and meet the Witch of the Waste head-on. Along the way, she discovers that there’s far more to Howl—and herself—than first meets the eye.
The Last Namsara by Kristen Ciccarelli
In the beginning, there was the Namsara: the child of sky and spirit, who carried love and laughter wherever he went. But where there is light, there must be darkness—and so there was also the Iskari. The child of blood and moonlight. The destroyer. The death-bringer.
These are the legends that Asha, daughter of the king of Firgaard, has grown up learning in hushed whispers, drawn to the forbidden figures of the past. But it isn’t until she becomes the fiercest, most feared dragon slayer in the land that she takes on the role of the next Iskari—a lonely destiny that leaves her feeling more like a weapon than a girl.
Asha conquers each dragon and brings its head to the king, but no kill can free her from the shackles that await at home: her betrothal to the cruel commandant, a man who holds the truth about her nature in his palm. When she’s offered the chance to gain her freedom in exchange for the life of the most powerful dragon in Firgaard, she finds that there may be more truth to the ancient stories than she ever could have expected. With the help of a secret friend—a slave boy from her betrothed’s household—Asha must shed the layers of her Iskari bondage and open her heart to love, light, and a truth that has been kept from her.
The Probability of Miracles by Wendy Wunder
Dry, sarcastic, sixteen-year-old Cam Cooper has spent the last seven years in and out hospitals. The last thing she wants to do in the short life she has left is move 1,500 miles away to Promise, Maine – a place known for the miraculous events that occur there. But it’s undeniable that strange things happen in Promise: everlasting sunsets; purple dandelions; flamingoes in the frigid Atlantic; an elusive boy named Asher; and finally, a mysterious envelope containing a list of things for Cam to do before she dies. As Cam checks each item off the list, she finally learns to believe – in love, in herself, and even in miracles.
A debut novel from an immensely talented new writer, The Probability of Miracles crackles with wit, romance and humor and will leave readers laughing and crying with each turn of the page.
One Dark Throne by Kendare Blake
The battle for the Crown has begun, but which of the three sisters will prevail?
With the unforgettable events of the Quickening behind them and the Ascension Year underway, all bets are off. Katharine, once the weak and feeble sister, is stronger than ever before. Arsinoe, after discovering the truth about her powers, must figure out how to make her secret talent work in her favor without anyone finding out. And Mirabella, once thought to be the strongest sister of all and the certain Queen Crowned, faces attacks like never before—ones that put those around her in danger she can’t seem to prevent.
In this enthralling sequel to Kendare Blake’s New York Times bestselling Three Dark Crowns, Fennbirn’s deadliest queens must face the one thing standing in their way of the crown: each other.
Cleopatra by Stacy Schiff
Her palace shimmered with onyx, garnets, and gold, but was richer still in political and sexual intrigue. Above all else, Cleopatra was a shrewd strategist and an ingenious negotiator.
Though her life spanned fewer than forty years, it reshaped the contours of the ancient world. She was married twice, each time to a brother. She waged a brutal civil war against the first when both were teenagers. She poisoned the second. Ultimately she dispensed with an ambitious sister as well; incest and assassination were family specialties. Cleopatra appears to have had sex with only two men. They happen, however, to have been Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, among the most prominent Romans of the day. Both were married to other women. Cleopatra had a child with Caesar and–after his murder–three more with his protégé. Already she was the wealthiest ruler in the Mediterranean; the relationship with Antony confirmed her status as the most influential woman of the age. The two would together attempt to forge a new empire, in an alliance that spelled their ends. Cleopatra has lodged herself in our imaginations ever since.
Famous long before she was notorious, Cleopatra has gone down in history for all the wrong reasons. Shakespeare and Shaw put words in her mouth. Michelangelo, Tiepolo, and Elizabeth Taylor put a face to her name. Along the way, Cleopatra’s supple personality and the drama of her circumstances have been lost. In a masterly return to the classical sources, Stacy Schiff here boldly separates fact from fiction to rescue the magnetic queen whose death ushered in a new world order. Rich in detail, epic in scope, Schiff ‘s is a luminous, deeply original reconstruction of a dazzling life.
It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover
Sometimes it is the one who loves you who hurts you the most.
Lily hasn’t always had it easy, but that’s never stopped her from working hard for the life she wants. She’s come a long way from the small town in Maine where she grew up — she graduated from college, moved to Boston, and started her own business. So when she feels a spark with a gorgeous neurosurgeon named Ryle Kincaid, everything in Lily’s life suddenly seems almost too good to be true.
Ryle is assertive, stubborn, maybe even a little arrogant. He’s also sensitive, brilliant, and has a total soft spot for Lily. And the way he looks in scrubs certainly doesn’t hurt. Lily can’t get him out of her head. But Ryle’s complete aversion to relationships is disturbing. Even as Lily finds herself becoming the exception to his “no dating” rule, she can’t help but wonder what made him that way in the first place.
As questions about her new relationship overwhelm her, so do thoughts of Atlas Corrigan — her first love and a link to the past she left behind. He was her kindred spirit, her protector. When Atlas suddenly reappears, everything Lily has built with Ryle is threatened.
Song of the Current by Sarah Tolcser
Caroline Oresteia is destined for the river. For generations, her family has been called by the river god, who has guided their wherries on countless voyages throughout the Riverlands. At seventeen, Caro has spent years listening to the water, ready to meet her fate. But the river god hasn’t spoken her name yet—and if he hasn’t by now, there’s a chance he never will.
Caro decides to take her future into her own hands when her father is arrested for refusing to transport a mysterious crate. By agreeing to deliver it in exchange for his release, Caro finds herself caught in a web of politics and lies, with dangerous pirates after the cargo—an arrogant courier with a secret—and without the river god to help her. With so much at stake, Caro must choose between the life she always wanted and the one she never could have imagined for herself.
From debut author Sarah Tolcser comes an immersive and romantic fantasy set along the waterways of a magical world with a headstrong heroine determined to make her mark.
War Storm by Victoria Aveyard
Victory comes at a price.
Mare Barrow learned this all too well when Cal’s betrayal nearly destroyed her. Now determined to protect her heart—and secure freedom for Reds and newbloods like her—Mare resolves to overthrow the kingdom of Norta once and for all… starting with the crown on Maven’s head.
But no battle is won alone, and before the Reds may rise as one, Mare must side with the boy who broke her heart in order to defeat the boy who almost broke her. Cal’s powerful Silver allies, alongside Mare and the Scarlet Guard, prove a formidable force. But Maven is driven by an obsession so deep, he will stop at nothing to have Mare as his own again, even if it means demolishing everything—and everyone—in his path.
War is coming, and all Mare has fought for hangs in the balance. Will victory be enough to topple the Silver kingdoms? Or will the little lightning girl be forever silenced?
In the epic conclusion to Victoria Aveyard’s stunning series, Mare must embrace her fate and summon all her power… for all will be tested, but not all will survive.
Slammed by Colleen Hoover
Following the unexpected death of her father, 18-year-old Layken is forced to be the rock for both her mother and younger brother. Outwardly, she appears resilient and tenacious, but inwardly, she’s losing hope.
Enter Will Cooper: The attractive, 21-year-old new neighbor with an intriguing passion for slam poetry and a unique sense of humor. Within days of their introduction, Will and Layken form an intense emotional connection, leaving Layken with a renewed sense of hope.
Not long after an intense, heart-stopping first date, they are slammed to the core when a shocking revelation forces their new relationship to a sudden halt. Daily interactions become impossibly painful as they struggle to find a balance between the feelings that pull them together, and the secret that keeps them apart
Star Girl by Jerry Spinelli
A celebration of nonconformity; a tense, emotional tale about the fleeting, cruel nature of popularity–and the thrill and inspiration of first love. Ages 12+
Leo Borlock follows the unspoken rule at Mica Area High School: don’t stand out–under any circumstances! Then Stargirl arrives at Mica High and everything changes–for Leo and for the entire school. After 15 years of home schooling, Stargirl bursts into tenth grade in an explosion of color and a clatter of ukulele music, enchanting the Mica student body.
But the delicate scales of popularity suddenly shift, and Stargirl is shunned for everything that makes her different. Somewhere in the midst of Stargirl’s arrival and rise and fall, normal Leo Borlock has tumbled into love with her.
In a celebration of nonconformity, Jerry Spinelli weaves a tense, emotional tale about the fleeting, cruel nature of popularity–and the thrill and inspiration of first love.
Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J Maas
Years in the making, Sarah J. Maas’s #1 New York Times bestselling Throne of Glass series draws to an epic, unforgettable conclusion. Aelin Galathynius’s journey from slave to king’s assassin to the queen of a once-great kingdom reaches its heart-rending finale as war erupts across her world. . .
Aelin has risked everything to save her people―but at a tremendous cost. Locked within an iron coffin by the Queen of the Fae, Aelin must draw upon her fiery will as she endures months of torture. Aware that yielding to Maeve will doom those she loves keeps her from breaking, though her resolve begins to unravel with each passing day…
With Aelin captured, Aedion and Lysandra remain the last line of defense to protect Terrasen from utter destruction. Yet they soon realize that the many allies they’ve gathered to battle Erawan’s hordes might not be enough to save them. Scattered across the continent and racing against time, Chaol, Manon, and Dorian are forced to forge their own paths to meet their fates. Hanging in the balance is any hope of salvation―and a better world.
And across the sea, his companions unwavering beside him, Rowan hunts to find his captured wife and queen―before she is lost to him forever.
As the threads of fate weave together at last, all must fight, if they are to have a chance at a future. Some bonds will grow even deeper, while others will be severed forever in the explosive final chapter of the Throne of Glass series.
Pucked by Helena Hunting
With a famous NHL player for a stepbrother, Violet Hall is well acquainted with the playboy reputation of many a hockey star. So of course she isn’t interested in legendary team captain Alex Waters or his pretty, beat-up face and rock-hard six-pack abs. But when Alex inadvertently obliterates Violet’s misapprehension regarding the inferior intellect of hockey players, he becomes much more than just a hot body with the face to match. Suffering from a complete lapse in judgment, Violet discovers just how good Alex is with the hockey stick in his pants.
Violet believes her night of orgasmic magic with Alex is just that: one night. But Alex starts to call. And text. And email and send extravagant – and quirky – gifts. Suddenly he’s too difficult to ignore and nearly impossible not to like. The problem is, the media portrays Alex as a total player, and Violet doesn’t want to be part of the game.
What if It’s Us by Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera
Arthur is only in New York for the summer, but if Broadway has taught him anything, it’s that the universe can deliver a showstopping romance when you least expect it.
Ben thinks the universe needs to mind its business. If the universe had his back, he wouldn’t be on his way to the post office carrying a box of his ex-boyfriend’s things.
But when Arthur and Ben meet-cute at the post office, what exactly does the universe have in store for them?
Maybe nothing. After all, they get separated.
Maybe everything. After all, they get reunited.
But what if they can’t quite nail a first date . . . or a second first date . . . or a third?
What if Arthur tries too hard to make it work . . . and Ben doesn’t try hard enough?
What if life really isn’t like a Broadway play?
But what if it is?
Slayer by Kiersten White
Into every generation a Slayer is born…
Nina and her twin sister, Artemis, are far from normal. It’s hard to be when you grow up at the Watcher’s Academy, which is a bit different from your average boarding school. Here teens are trained as guides for Slayers—girls gifted with supernatural strength to fight the forces of darkness. But while Nina’s mother is a prominent member of the Watcher’s Council, Nina has never embraced the violent Watcher lifestyle. Instead she follows her instincts to heal, carving out a place for herself as the school medic.
Until the day Nina’s life changes forever.
Thanks to Buffy, the famous (and infamous) Slayer that Nina’s father died protecting, Nina is not only the newest Chosen One—she’s the last Slayer, ever. Period.
As Nina hones her skills with her Watcher-in-training, Leo, there’s plenty to keep her occupied: a monster fighting ring, a demon who eats happiness, a shadowy figure that keeps popping up in Nina’s dreams…
But it’s not until bodies start turning up that Nina’s new powers will truly be tested—because someone she loves might be next.
One thing is clear: Being Chosen is easy. Making choices is hard.
Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi
They killed my mother. They took our magic. They tried to bury us.
Now we rise.
Zélie Adebola remembers when the soil of Orïsha hummed with magic. Burners ignited flames, Tiders beckoned waves, and Zélie’s Reaper mother summoned forth souls.
But everything changed the night magic disappeared. Under the orders of a ruthless king, maji were killed, leaving Zélie without a mother and her people without hope.
Now Zélie has one chance to bring back magic and strike against the monarchy. With the help of a rogue princess, Zélie must outwit and outrun the crown prince, who is hell-bent on eradicating magic for good.
Danger lurks in Orïsha, where snow leoponaires prowl and vengeful spirits wait in the waters. Yet the greatest danger may be Zélie herself as she struggles to control her powers and her growing feelings for an enemy.
The Lovely Reckless by Kami Garcia
I’ve become an expert at avoiding things that could hurt me—which means I will figure out how to stay away from Marco Leone.
Seventeen-year-old Frankie Devereux would do anything to forget the past. Haunted by the memory of her boyfriend’s death, she lives her life by one dangerous rule: Nothing matters. At least, that’s what Frankie tells herself after a reckless mistake forces her to leave her privileged life in the Heights to move in with her dad—an undercover cop. She transfers to a public high school in the Downs, where fistfights don’t faze anyone and illegal street racing is more popular than football.
Marco Leone is the fastest street racer in the Downs. Tough, sexy, and hypnotic, he makes it impossible for Frankie to ignore him—and how he makes her feel. But the risks Marco takes for his family could have devastating consequences for them both. When Frankie discovers his secret, she has to make a choice. Will she let the pain of the past determine her future? Or will she risk what little she has left to follow her heart?
Muse of Nightmares by Laini Taylor
Sarai has lived and breathed nightmares since she was six years old.
She believed she knew every horror and was beyond surprise.
She was wrong.
In the wake of tragedy, neither Lazlo nor Sarai are who they were before. One a god, the other a ghost, they struggle to grasp the new boundaries of their selves as dark-minded Minya holds them hostage, intent on vengeance against Weep.
Lazlo faces an unthinkable choice—save the woman he loves, or everyone else?—while Sarai feels more helpless than ever. But is she? Sometimes, only the direst need can teach us our own depths, and Sarai, the Muse of Nightmares, has not yet discovered what she’s capable of.
As humans and godspawn reel in the aftermath of the citadel’s near fall, a new foe shatters their fragile hopes, and the mysteries of the Mesarthim are resurrected: Where did the gods come from, and why? What was done with thousands of children born in the citadel nursery? And most important of all, as forgotten doors are opened and new worlds revealed: Must heroes always slay monsters, or is it possible to save them instead?
Love and hate, revenge and redemption, destruction and salvation all clash in this astonishing and heart-stopping sequel to the New York Times bestseller, Strange the Dreamer. (
Tower of Dawn by Sarah J Maas
A glorious empire . . . A desperate quest . . .
Chaol Westfall and Nesryn Faliq have arrived in the shining city of Antica to forge an alliance with the Khagan of the Southern Continent, whose vast armies are Erilea’s last hope. But they have also come to Antica for another purpose: to seek healing at the famed Torre Cesme for the wounds Chaol received in Rifthold.
After enduring unspeakable horrors as a child, Yrene Towers has no desire to help the young lord from Adarlan, let alone heal him. Yet she has sworn an oath to assist those in need—and will honor it. But Lord Westfall carries shadows from his own past, and Yrene soon comes to realize they could engulf them both.
In this sweeping parallel novel to the New York Times bestselling Empire of Storms, Chaol, Nesryn, and Yrene will have to draw on every scrap of their resilience if they wish to save their friends. But while they become entangled in the political webs of the khaganate, deep in the shadows of mighty mountains where warriors soar on legendary ruks, long-awaited answers slumber. Answers that might offer their world a chance at survival—or doom them all . . .
Because You Hate to Love Me
Leave it to the heroes to save the world–villains just want to rule the world.
In this unique YA anthology, thirteen acclaimed, bestselling authors team up with thirteen influential BookTubers to reimagine fairy tales from the oft-misunderstood villains’ points of view.
These fractured, unconventional spins on classics like “Medusa,” Sherlock Holmes, and “Jack and the Beanstalk” provide a behind-the-curtain look at villains’ acts of vengeance, defiance, and rage–and the pain, heartbreak, and sorrow that spurned them on. No fairy tale will ever seem quite the same again!
Featuring writing from . . .
Authors: Renée Ahdieh, Ameriie, Soman Chainani, Susan Dennard, Sarah Enni, Marissa Meyer, Cindy Pon, Victoria Schwab, Samantha Shannon, Adam Silvera, Andrew Smith, April Genevieve Tucholke, and Nicola Yoon
Jet by Jay Crownover
With his tight leather pants and a sharp edge that makes him dangerous, Jet Keller is every girl’s rock and roll fantasy. But Ayden Cross is done walking on the wild side with bad boys. She doesn’t want to give in to the heat she sees in Jet’s dark, haunted eyes. She’s afraid of getting burned from the sparks of their spontaneous combustion, even as his touch sets her on fire.
Jet can’t resist the Southern Belle with mile-long legs in cowboy boots who defies his every expectation. Yet the closer he feels to Ayden, the less he seems to know her. While he’s tempted to get under her skin and undo her in every way, he knows firsthand what happens to two people with very different ideas about relationships.
Will the blaze burn into an enduring love. . . or will it consume their dreams and turn them to ashes?
Don’t miss the latest bad boy in Jay Crownover’s unforgettable New Adult series.
A Shadow Bright and Burning by Jessica Cluess
I am Henrietta Howel. The first female sorcerer. The prophesied one. Or am I?
Henrietta Howel can burst into flames. When she is brought to London to train with Her Majesty’s sorcerers, she meets her fellow sorcerer trainees, young men eager to test her powers and her heart. One will challenge her. One will fight for her. One will betray her. As Henrietta discovers the secrets hiding behind the glamour of sorcerer life, she begins to doubt that she’s the true prophesied one. With battle looming, how much will she risk to save the city–and the one she loves?
The Princess Saves Herself in This One by Amanda Lovelace
“Ah, life- the thing that happens to us while we’re off somewhere else blowing on dandelions & wishing ourselves into the pages of our favorite fairy tales.”
A poetry collection divided into four different parts: the princess, the damsel, the queen, & you. the princess, the damsel, & the queen piece together the life of the author in three stages, while you serves as a note to the reader & all of humankind. Explores life & all of its love, loss, grief, healing, empowerment, & inspirations.
The Six of Crows Duology by Leigh Bardugo
Six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist. The gripping Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom duology, by #1 New York Times-bestselling author Leigh Bardugo, is now available in a stunning hardcover boxed set.
Follow Kaz and his crew into a world of magic and mayhem as they attempt to pull off—and survive—the job of a lifetime.
Truthwitch by Susan Dennard
In a continent on the edge of war, two witches hold its fate in their hands.
Young witches Safiya and Iseult have a habit of finding trouble. After clashing with a powerful Guildmaster and his ruthless Bloodwitch bodyguard, the friends are forced to flee their home.
Safi must avoid capture at all costs as she’s a rare Truthwitch, able to discern truth from lies. Many would kill for her magic, so Safi must keep it hidden – lest she be used in the struggle between empires. And Iseult’s true powers are hidden even from herself.
In a chance encounter at Court, Safi meets Prince Merik and makes him a reluctant ally. However, his help may not slow down the Bloodwitch now hot on the girls’ heels. All Safi and Iseult want is their freedom, but danger lies ahead. With war coming, treaties breaking and a magical contagion sweeping the land, the friends will have to fight emperors and mercenaries alike. For some will stop at nothing to get their hands on a Truthwitch.
A Darker Shade of Magic by VE Schwab
Kell is one of the last Antari—magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel Londons; Red, Grey, White, and, once upon a time, Black.
Kell was raised in Arnes—Red London—and officially serves the Maresh Empire as an ambassador, traveling between the frequent bloody regime changes in White London and the court of George III in the dullest of Londons, the one without any magic left to see.
Unofficially, Kell is a smuggler, servicing people willing to pay for even the smallest glimpses of a world they’ll never see. It’s a defiant hobby with dangerous consequences, which Kell is now seeing firsthand.
After an exchange goes awry, Kell escapes to Grey London and runs into Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations. She first robs him, then saves him from a deadly enemy, and finally forces Kell to spirit her to another world for a proper adventure.
Now perilous magic is afoot, and treachery lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, they’ll first need to stay alive.
Frost Blood by Elly Blake
Seventeen-year-old Ruby is a Fireblood who has concealed her powers of heat and flame from the cruel Frostblood ruling class her entire life. But when her mother is killed trying to protect her, and rebel Frostbloods demand her help to overthrow their bloodthirsty king, she agrees to come out of hiding, desperate to have her revenge.
Despite her unpredictable abilities, Ruby trains with the rebels and the infuriating – yet irresistible – Arcus, who seems to think of her as nothing more than a weapon. But before they can take action, Ruby is captured and forced to compete in the king’s tournaments that pit Fireblood prisoners against Frostblood champions. Now she has only one chance to destroy the maniacal ruler who has taken everything from her – and from the icy young man she has come to love.
Catwoman by Sarah J Maas
When the Bat’s away, the Cat will play. It’s time to see how many lives this cat really has. . . .
Two years after escaping Gotham City’s slums, Selina Kyle returns as the mysterious and wealthy Holly Vanderhees. She quickly discovers that with Batman off on a vital mission, Batwing is left to hold back the tide of notorious criminals. Gotham City is ripe for the taking.
Meanwhile, Luke Fox wants to prove he has what it takes to help people in his role as Batwing. He targets a new thief on the prowl who seems cleverer than most. She has teamed up with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, and together they are wreaking havoc. This Catwoman may be Batwing’s undoing.
Wonder Woman by Leigh Bardugo
Daughter of immortals.
Princess Diana longs to prove herself to her legendary warrior sisters. But when the opportunity finally comes, she throws away her chance at glory and breaks Amazon law—risking exile—to save a mortal. Diana will soon learn that she has rescued no ordinary girl, and that with this single brave act, she may have doomed the world.
Daughter of death.
Alia Keralis just wanted to escape her overprotective brother with a semester at sea. She doesn’t know she is being hunted by people who think her very existence could spark a world war. When a bomb detonates aboard her ship, Alia is rescued by a mysterious girl of extraordinary strength and forced to confront a horrible truth: Alia is a Warbringer—a direct descendant of the infamous Helen of Troy, fated to bring about an age of bloodshed and misery.
Together.
Two girls will face an army of enemies—mortal and divine—determined to either destroy or possess the Warbringer. Tested beyond the bounds of their abilities, Diana and Alia must find a way to unleash hidden strengths and forge an unlikely alliance. Because if they have any hope of saving both their worlds, they will have to stand side by side against the tide of war.
Giant Book Haul: Book Outlet, Books-a-Million, Paperback Exchange, Thriftbooks Lesson learned: don't wait too long to do a book haul otherwise it will be enormous.
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2017 Romance-Centric Reads by Authors of Color
*Will add more titles when more covers are revealed
All He Needs by Shirley Hailstock - Wedding consultant Renee Hart is finally ready to take the plunge…as creator of an innovative bridal magazine. Newly relocated to the Big Apple, Renee discovers that her former lover Carter Hampshire—more charismatic than ever—is now also her greatest rival. Three years ago, he thought he was doing the right thing by letting her go. Now all he wants is a second chance. But when the media-frenzied launch of Designed for Brides leads to accusations of industrial espionage, could Carter lose Renee again—this time forever?
Always and Forever, Lara Jean by Jenny Han - Lara Jean is having the best senior year a girl could ever hope for.But change is looming on the horizon. And while Lara Jean is having fun and keeping busy, she can’t ignore the big life decisions she has to make. Most pressingly, where she wants to go to college and what that means for her relationship with Peter. Now Lara Jean’s the one who’ll be graduating high school and leaving for college and leaving her family—and possibly the boy she loves—behind.
Breathless (Old West #2) by Beverly Jenkins - A strong-willed beauty, Portia Carmichael finds herself in the arms of the handsome drifter from her past, Kent Rudolph, in this second book in the sizzling series set in the Old West.
Clean Breaks by Ruby Lang - Sarah Soon may have recovered from cancer—in body—but her brush with mortality has left the usually confident OB/GYN shaken about her future and herself. When she unexpectedly runs into Jake Li, her brother’s annoying high school BFF who betrayed her trust, he’s the last person she wants to see. Everyone’s telling the newly divorced Jake that he shouldn’t be looking for a serious relationship already, but he’s always been helplessly drawn to Sarah. Can he show her that he’s worthy of a second chance? Or will they make a clean break once and for all?
Conspiracy by De'nesha Diamond - It’s an offer too tempting to refuse: One night as an elite escort will give Abrianna Parker the fresh start she’s been searching for. But getting framed for a high-profile murder isn’t what the cool-headed beauty signed up for…With police, government agencies, and a lethal third party on her trail, Abrianna will have to use all her resources to clear her name. That includes trusting an ex-con—and an attraction as incendiary as the lies they must expose.
Crossroads (Wind Dragons MC #6) by Chantal Fernando - A woman is missing.And Ranger knows her. The Wind Dragons aren’t the only ones hoping this girl can be found—on the hunt is Johanna Chase, a stubborn detective who won’t give up until the missing woman is found safe. She needs Ranger to navigate the underground world of motorcycle clubs, and immediately, sparks fly. Ranger fights the attraction. He has no plans on going there, no matter how beautiful and badass she is. A biker and a cop? Ridiculous. But the two of them soon realize that they’re in way over their heads, and now they have to trust each other in order to save her.
Dangerous Consequences by Lisa Renee Johnson - Dubbed the “Sex Doctor” on his local radio show, psychologist Donathan James advises callers on their sexual issues. Donathan is living the high life, but when he wakes up naked and drugged in a hotel room, with no memory of the evening before, the doctor suddenly has problems of his own. Soon, Donathan’s sexy stalker turns up in his office to rant about her unstable past, and demanding they meet again and again. All Donathan wants is his life back—and for his gorgeous and brilliant neurosurgeon wife, Sydney, not to find out. But when the relentless stranger goes too far, it leads him to discover his beloved wife has secrets of her own. Now, to save their marriage, Mr. and Mrs. James will have to hold on tight to survive the bumpiest ride of their lives.
Daniel’s Dare by Sasha Devlin - Daniel Rich and Kaitlyn Dow have been friends for fifteen years, and playing an increasingly outlandish game of Truth or Dare for nearly as long. With her bed-and-breakfast overbooked, the two are forced to spend the night together. Daniel is ready to move their relationship to the next level. Kaitlyn suspects he’s still playing a game, and resigns herself to a one-night stand. But she’ll soon learn that Daniel is willing to risk any dare to get Kaitlyn to see the truth—that they belong together.
An Extraordinary Union by Alyssa Cole - Elle Burns is a former slave with a passion for justice and an eidetic memory. Trading in her life of freedom in Massachusetts, she returns to the indignity of slavery in the South—to spy for the Union Army.Malcolm McCall is a detective for Pinkerton's Secret Service. Subterfuge is his calling, but he’s facing his deadliest mission yet—risking his life to infiltrate a Rebel enclave in Virginia.Two undercover agents who share a common cause—and an undeniable attraction—Malcolm and Elle join forces when they discover a plot that could turn the tide of the war in the Confederacy's favor. Caught in a tightening web of wartime intrigue, and fighting a fiery and forbidden love, Malcolm and Elle must make their boldest move to preserve the Union at any cost—even if it means losing each other . . .
Feel the Heat by Cheris Hodge - Relationship blogger and bestselling author Mimi Collins built her brand by talking openly about sex and love. But after a blog she posts negatively depicting a speed-dating site goes viral, she needs legal advice, and fast. Lucky for her, she has an irresistible advocate in Brent Daniels, her gorgeous new neighbor. The celebrated attorney and TV personality just took on her case. Putting the moves on his client is taboo, but how can Brent turn down his feelings for Atlanta's hottest romance expert? Until a legal victory leads to an intimate tte-
-tte…and a very public kiss. But with a tragic secret buried in his past, Brent can't afford any negative publicity. And now that his reputation is on the line, so is his future with Mimi.
Find Me (Cyclone #3) by Courtney Milan - Blake Reynolds finally has everything under control. He and his father have ironed out their issues. He’s in love with his girlfriend. Then the sister he didn’t know he had walks into his life. The mother he’s never met is in need of a liver transplant—and he’s the only possible match. Suddenly, everything he thought he knew turns inside out.Tina Chen wants to believe in a future with Blake. Loving Blake is easy, but the temporary happiness they’ve found together just means she’s all the more aware when “ever after” begins to slip out of her grasp…
Forged in Desire by Brenda Jackson - When good girl Margo Connelly becomes Lamar "Striker" Jennings's latest assignment, she knows she's in trouble. The reformed bad boy's appeal is breaching all her defenses. Though Striker's now living on the right side of the law, he's convinced his troubled past keeps Margo out of his league. But physical chemistry explodes into full-blown passion when they go on the run together. Surrendering to desire could be a deadly distraction—or finally prove that he's the only man qualified to keep her safe, and win her love.
Freshman Guy and Junior Girl by Mina V. Esguerra - Hannah is super nervous about her first year at Ford River College, but guess what makes it better? Becoming the new friend of a popular junior guy named Quin.
Full Court Seduction by Synithia Williams - Straitlaced conservationist Danielle Stewart is known for passionately protecting the Florida coastline, but back in college, Danielle shared a sizzling night with Jacobe Jenkins. Next day, he left for the NBA draft. Now chance has thrown them together again. He's older, wiser and a lot more notorious, but one thing about Jacobe hasn't changed: his deep attraction to Danielle. But the lasting kind of love takes more than a trick shot. Will he overcome his bad-boy reputation and put his heart on the line for what could be the biggest play of his life?
Hard Rhythm by Cecilia Tan - Maddie Rofel has seen it all, working as a hostess in L.A.'s most exclusive private sex club. Until the night she has a very personal encounter with drummer Chino Garcia, and the two discover an intimate connection neither can deny. All his life, Chino has been running from something.Now he's losing himself in Maddie. And, while it drives Chino wild when Maddie bares her body to him, what he really wants is for Maddie to bare her soul. For that, Chino will have to push Maddie past her furthest limits-and share his own dark secrets.
Hate to Want You by Alisha Rai - One night. No one will know.That was the deal. Every year, Livvy Kane and Nicholas Chandler would share one perfect night of illicit pleasure. The forbidden hours let them forget the tragedy that haunted their pasts-and the last names that made them enemies.Until the night she didn’t show up. Now Nicholas has an empire to run. He doesn’t have time for distractions, until Livvy’s sudden reappearance in town. Although the passion between them might have once run hot and deep, not even love can overcome the scandal that divided their families.Being together might be against all the rules…but being apart is impossible.
Her Secret Life by Tiffany L. Warren - Scarred by poverty, Onika Lewis had a rough start. But her achievements weren’t enough to earn her the elite status she craved. So she leveraged her gorgeous looks to become a rich man’s trophy…and was eventually dumped her for a younger model. Now she’s broke, unemployed, and homeless. She’s making a fresh start through a unique women’s shelter, but when she meets Graham, a kindhearted commuter she has an instant connection with. But when Onika’s wealthy ex wants her back, she plays one deception too many trying to have it all. Now present lies and past secrets are tearing her world apart. And Onika will need to educate herself once more—to learn what really matters, find faith, forgiveness—and build a life she truly deserves.
Hope Blooms by Jamie Pope - In one shattering instant, schoolteacher Cassandra Miller lost everything. The last person she wants help from is the man she wants to forget. In childhood, Wylie Everett was her cherished best friend. In adulthood, he was the secret lover who left her without explanation. Now Wylie’s the person who won’t let her go down without a fight. But their rekindled passion will be tested by pain he's never resolved—and mistakes for which forgiveness may not be enough. Can he and Cass find one last way to move forward, and risk rebuilding their lives...together?
I Believe In A Thing Called Love by Maurene Goo - Desi Lee is a disaster in romance. So when the hottest human specimen to have ever lived walks into her life one day, Desi decides to tackle her flirting failures with the same zest she’s applied to everything else in her life. She finds her answer in the Korean dramas her father has been obsessively watching for years. Armed with her “K Drama Rules for True Love,” Desi goes after the moody, elusive artist Luca Drakos. But when the fun and games turn to true feels, Desi finds out that real love is about way more than just drama.
If You Don’t Know Me by Mary B. Morrison - NYT bestselling author Mary B. Morrison delivers a scandalous story of two women, a sizzling wager, and the fallout that's turned lives upside down. Now, with the only man they've ever wanted at stake, who will go one step too far to claim him?
The Inheritance by Rochelle Alers - Four friends from very different backgrounds find new beginnings amid the sultry beauty of New Orleans.
It’s Not Like It’s A Secret by Misa Sugiura - A not-yet-out lesbian, Japanese-American teenager, Sana Kiyohara, deals with being the new kid at school, has a family with stifling traditional Japanese values (which help protect their secrets), dates a girl who hangs out with a totally different crowd, and makes plenty of mistakes along the way.
Keeping the Distance by Clarisse David - 17-year-old Melissa wants to dye her hair cotton candy pink and focus on her ukulele instead of Physics. But she can't, as the daughter of a Catholic school principal. Getting involved with a troublemaking basketball player is the last possible thing she needs. But Lance has no idea that he’s about to learn the lesson of a lifetime. Not getting what he wants might exactly be what he needs...
Love Tango by J.M. Jeffries - Former child star Roxanne Deveraux is stepping back into the spotlight. Still, the offer to appear on Celebrity Dance is hard to resist—as is Nicholas Torres, her dance partner. But as Roxanne's chaotic past resurfaces and a secret threatens to tear his own family apart, both must weigh old loyalties against the promise of a brilliant future together.
Lust & Loyalty by Shelly Ellis - Evan Murdoch hoped things had finally settled down in his life. But now he’s caught between two feuding women: his pregnant fiancée, and his recovering alcoholic wife who’s fighting their divorce with every dirty, seductive trick she’s got. But even that doesn’t compare to the dangerous secret Evan’s harboring—one that could send a Murdoch to jail for a very long time…
Never Trust a Stranger by Mary Monroe - Best friends Lola Poole and Joan Proctor-Riley have finally found the love and excitement they’ve always longed for. Online-dating an endless line of wealthy, no-strings-attached lovers is the perfect escape from their unfulfilling lives. When rugged trucker Calvin Ramsey comes into Lola’s sights, he’s a surprising answer to all her prayers. What Lola doesn’t know is that Calvin loves women to death—literally. And every caring moment and seductive promise this killer gives her draws both Lola and Joan deeper into his inescapable, fatal fantasy…
No Second Chances by Kate Evangelista - Natasha was devastated when Jackson, her first love, disappeared without a word only to pop up months later as a famous DJ. But now she's over it―over him!―and ready to move on with her life! Isn't she? Jackson thought he was leaving Dodge Cove behind forever when he set off to LA to start his career as a DJ. But the one thing he had never been able to leave behind was the memory of his first love, Natasha, and now that he's proven his success, he's coming home to win her back...
Paint the Stars (Free Fall #3) by Nyrae Dawn & Christina Lee - Ezra Greene has made a pretty decent life for himself. He has a nice apartment and spends his days doing the one thing he’s always loved—creating art. For Daevonte Randall, adulthood has worked out pretty well. What he doesn’t expect is to be so intrigued by the brooding and reserved painter Ezra. As weeks pass, Ezra and Dae get to know each other, their friendship catches fire. But Ezra’s been burned pretty badly before so trust and intimacy has to be earned. Daevonte feels up to the task, but it proves difficult as Ezra continues to keep his emotions in check. Dae’s only willing to wait so long, and when they’re dealt a surprising blow, Ezra needs to decide if love is worth the risk, that is…if it’s not too late.
The Pastor’s Husband by Tiffany L. Warren - Felicia Caldwell has a great job, a healthy bank account, and stunning good looks. But she longs for a husband and family to go along with it. So when charismatic superstar pastor Nya Hempstead declares that partnership is on its way, Felicia is elated—until her life becomes filled with more curses than blessings. Five years later, someone has to pay—and that someone is Nya. Soon, Felicia is moving to Dallas and joins the church led by Nya and her co-pastor husband, Gregory… In the eyes of the public, Nya and Gregory have the perfect life. But their marriage is feeling the strain of Nya’s success. While she’s hitting the talk show circuit and the bestseller list, Gregory is fading into the background. It’s no surprise he enjoys the fawning attention of new church member, Felicia. Little does he know her intentions are far from pure...
Perfect Deception by Lutishia Lovely - She’s smart, gorgeous, and mysterious. For business executive Nathan Carver, a man with everything, Jessica Bolton is the first woman he can’t simply charm, buy, or seduce. But Jessica’s deceptive allure is just the start. With every move, every tantalizing lie, Jessica lures Nathan and his close-knit family into a trap that will dismantle everything they treasure most. Because when it comes to loyalty and love, blood is thicker than water—and no amount of revenge is ever too much…
Playing with Desire by Reese Ryan - Next in line as CEO of his family's international luxury-resort empire, Liam Westbrook didn't make his way to the top playing it safe. So when the fast-living British bachelor spies an exotic beauty under a smoldering North Carolina moon, he makes a scandalous proposal. Maya Alvarez's two young daughters are her entire world. But when she ends up alone—on her birthday—the divorced single mother does something totally out of character. She accepts an invitation that leads to a hot summer fling with a seductive stranger. When Maya must return to the real world, will Liam and their pleasure-fueled fantasy end up as only an affair to remember?
Revenge of the Mistress by Cydney Rax - A mistress-turned-wife with a dream marriage gone wrong. The perfect plan for payback. And fallout so explosive even winning may mean losing it all…
Seduced by the Bachelor by Pamela Yaye - Tatiyana Washington will do whatever it takes to right a wrong for her beloved sister…even if it means deceiving one of LA's most celebrated attorneys, Markos Morretti. The irresistible Italian plays right into her hands when he invites her to be his guest at a celebrity-studded charity golf tournament. Too bad it can never lead to anything permanent. Once Markos discovers they have met under false pretenses, he only desires her more. Markos vows that two can play at this game, until a brewing political scandal threatens his career ambitions. Faced with an impossible decision, will he choose the promise of love?
Silver Silence by Nalini Singh - Control. Precision. Family. These are the principles that drive Silver Mercant. At a time when the fledgling Trinity Accord seeks to unite a divided world, wildness and chaos are the last things she needs in her life. But that’s exactly what Valentin Nikolaev, alpha of the StoneWater Bears, brings with him. But when a shadow assassin almost succeeds in poisoning Silver, the stakes become deadly serious…and Silver finds herself in the heart of a powerful bear clan. Her would-be assassin has no idea what their poison has unleashed...
The Mark by Kiki Swinson - Identity thief Lauren Kelly thought she was safe. The millions she stole from her double-crossing accomplice and ex-lover Matt Connors bought a quiet upscale life for her, her unsuspecting new husband Drake, and their precious baby. But betrayal was just the start. When both Drake and the baby go missing, it’s courtesy of a vengeful Matt. Now Lauren lives to hunt Matt down. She’ll strip away his fortune, work all his weaknesses—and destroy his every strength. But she’s heading straight into an insidious trap that could turn sweet revenge into mutually-assured destruction...
This is Love by Nana Malone & Sienna Mynx - Valentine's Day holds sensual and sexy surprises in these two irresistible stories, Illusion of Love and From My Heart.
To Me I Wed by K.M. Jackson - She's done, finished, had it. Between her family’s expectations and being always-a-bridesmaid, Lily Perry is fed up with being nagged to find a husband. So she’s going to settle the issue once and for all: by marrying herself. And celebrated chef Vincent Caro's fabulous restaurant is the perfect place for a big-time, blow-out, not-hearing-it-any-more wedding. Lily doesn't care if everyone thinks she's crazy. Especially when Vince’s mouth-watering talent and no-commitments style ignites one sizzling, no-strings fling, or two…or more. But the more Vincent helps Lily tackle unexpected trouble, the more he finds she might be everything he’s ever wanted. Can they both take a risk to discover if what they have is meant to last long after the dessert course?
When Dimple Met Rishi by Sandhya Menon - Told in alternating perspectives, When Dimple Met Rishi focuses on two Indian-American teens whose parents have arranged for them to be married.
Wintersong by S. Jae-Jones - 19-year-old Liesl must venture to the Underground when her sister Käthe is taken by the goblins. The Goblin King agrees to let Käthe go—for a price. In exchange for her sister’s freedom, Liesl offers her hand in marriage to the Goblin King. He accepts. As the two of them grow closer, they must learn just what it is they are each willing to sacrifice: her life, her music, or the end of the world.
Wives, Fiancees, and Side-Chicks of Hotlanta by Shree Whitfield - Sasha Wellington has put herself on the fast track to success. When fate points her to Atlanta, she sets out to make her dreams come true…Before she knows it, Sasha’s befriended by two rival BFFs. Between their antics, Sasha’s beyond grateful for her coworker, Casey. Married to an NBA player, Casey’s got class. But there’s more than meets the eye to being a baller’s wife. And the more time Sasha spends among the movers and shakers, the clearer it gets that just like on reality TV, the truth lies behind-the-scenes. Still, she’s not worried about getting caught up in the drama—until she’s romanced by a baller of her own. Can she stick to her game plan, or will Hotlanta derail her future—and reveal a side of herself even she didn’t know existed?
#authors of color#romance#romance genre#book recommendations#stay tuned for more lists#my general adult fiction list has over 200 titles#screams#why do i do this#both the kimani romance and dafina imprints do a great job finding poc models#i don't wanna hear any more publisher bullshit about not being to find models#when only two out of these forty covers don't have models
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