#he's insecure and sometimes jealous even if its irrational

[twilightkitkat]

Almost everyone agrees that both sides of Poolverine have unhealthy attachment styles. A lot of people portray this as Logan having an avoidant attachment style and Wade having an anxious attachment style. But in reality, I think it'd be swapped.

Logan has all of the surface-level factors that make him easy to write off as avoidant: he's gruff, masculine, and has a habit of leaving without much forewarning. I feel like the largest factor that contributes to this portrayal of him is how he's closed-off and wary of people, and how despite getting closer to the X-men he still leaves the second he has a reason to. (And oftentimes, that reason is exploring his past or just needing to get away.)

But the reason he's leaving isn't because he wants to. It's because he feels like has to.

Logan acts like he doesn't care, but he does. And it's so painfully obvious. The second anyone he cares about is in danger, he rushes off to save them even if it goes against orders. His "leaving" isn't him running away from the people he cares about, but running toward them. And the other times, he's trying to uncover his past. Not because he wants to distance himself from the people he loves, but because he needs to know that he doesn't endanger them or put them at risk. So that he can be better for them.

He feels like the only way to keep the people he loves close is to not put everything out in the open. While he comes off as cocky and guarded and gruff, in reality, he's insecure and paranoid that people will leave him. He's terrified of loss, so he tries to prevent it by only showing people the parts of his personality that are "acceptable." The Wolverine can be animalistic and rough, but if he's soft and clingy then people will push him away.

The second he gets a crumb of affection, he clings to it desperately. He sees Jean's attraction to him and relentlessly flirts with her and tries to show off. If she told him no or turned him down point-blank, he would stop. But she only gives weak resistance (the type you give "for show") and so he keeps pushing. He puts himself in harm's way for her and protects her and supports her because he loves her, even if she only gives him a little back.

A scene where this is incredibly obvious is when Jean tells him that girls only flirt with the bad boy, they don't take him home. They marry the good guy. His response? He told her that he could be the good guy. That if she just gave him the chance, he'd change himself for her just to hold her close. He's desperate for her to finally see him and tries to plead his case.

If he were avoidant, he wouldn't lean in so hard to anyone who gives him any semblance of care or affection. Instead, as soon as someone is kind to him, he devotes himself to them. Gives away as much of himself as he can for their sake. He tries to be as close to them as he physically can, but it's hard. It's hard when nobody reciprocates. When he's met with awkwardness and discomfort the second he asks for more.

(He just wanted someone to belong to. A steady home. The second someone opens their door for him, he belongs to them. Until they get tired and kick him back out again. Until they just leave food scraps by the door and expect it to be enough.)

His natural instinct is to cling to someone as hard as he can. To stay on the lifeboat even as it sinks, even as his head is submerged underwater, until he physically can't anymore. But after so many times of trying to stay afloat on debris, he's reluctant to get into the water again.

And yet, the second Wade calls out to him and asks him to stay, he does. There's no room for hesitation. Not when someone finally wanted him.

Whenever Logan was offered a home, he always stayed as long as he could. And he learned that people normally took this as him overstaying his welcome. So he leaves not because he wants to, but for their sake. To not be a burden. Because that's what's expected.

But as soon as someone gives an indication otherwise, genuinely wants him, he holds them so closely he can hear their heartbeat. He's anxious that they'll leave him, so desperately tries to show that he's worth keeping. He'll do anything they ask. He'll push as far as they'll let him, curl up as close to them as they allow, and stay there.

Wade, on the other hand, is more avoidant. It's easy to write him off as anxious and affectionate: he's cheerful, flirty, and wears his surface-level emotions proudly. He isn't afraid to claim that he has a family, and one of his main motivations is his long-term relationship with Vanessa. He's been explicitly shown to be scared to lose the people he loves, and he coped horribly with the loss of his girlfriend.

However, attachment styles aren't about what you feel. They're about how you react to it.

Wade does care, because of course he does. He cares so much that it's painful. But how does he act on the love he feels? By distancing himself from others.

Wade is good at flirting. He's good at joking and being there when times are easy. But he's always had a habit of hiding his deeper emotions, even from the people closest to him. He doesn't let them know about his problems until it's too late. He intentionally hides from them and doesn't let them get involved in his life because he fears hurting them. It's a compulsion to keep them safe and happy and to protect himself and his own feelings.

After breaking free from Francis after unlocking his mutation, what does he do? He avoids Vanessa for years, terrified of how she'll react to this new version of him now that he looks disfigured. He never lets anyone too close to his true feelings, hiding behind his suit and mask. His first reaction when there's conflict that could result in issues isn't to stay and try to work through it, but to leave. Before they can get hurt. (Before they can hurt him.)

This is also shown at the start of the Deadpool & Wolverine movie. The overarching issue in Wade's life is that he feels empty and like he has no real purpose. Like he doesn't matter. Instead of using his relationships as support and sticking with them, he pulls back. He doesn't open up to Vanessa which results in their eventual break-up. He acts like he's perfectly content with his life to Peter and Al even though that's clearly not the case.

His first instinct was to run away. From his feelings, from difficult talks, from the people he loved. He tried to suppress his emotions and avoid intimate or serious conversations. He feels uncomfortable with the idea of being vulnerable with someone. He knows how to be alone. It's easy. Familiar. It's what he returns to the second he feels threatened.

However, as a pair, Wade and Logan balance each other out. Wade can finally feel comfortable being more open because Logan understands the pain of loss and suffering and immortality. Logan finally has someone who doesn't judge him for what he's done and who lets him be himself and still wants him.

When Logan initially was more closed-off, Wade felt comfortable pushing. When Wade tried to pull away because of his guilt, Logan yanked him back. When Logan was about to walk away, Wade called after him. Offered him a home. Logan answered.

Logan would latch onto Wade like a cat with separation anxiety. He'd give all he has to Wade in return for finally being treated like a person. And this would make Wade realize that he doesn't have to run away. He doesn't have to pull back when Logan can protect himself and wants to stay with him. Despite his mangled appearance and crude personality and shitty morality.

Wade gets used to Logan's presence. To finally having someone who's an equal. (Who won't hurt him. Who can't die. Who won't become overwhelmed because he knows what it's like. It's like he can finally breathe knowing that there's someone who's going to be there no matter what.)

Logan feels less anxious when Wade only acts this close to him, when he reassures him that in a multiverse of Wolverines, he's the one Wade would choose. Again and again. He finally feels like he's the exception in a good way. Like he's someone's first choice.

So Logan lets himself relax, and Wade lets himself finally get close to someone. They both let themselves stay and mean it.

[wholoveseggs]

Hello lovely! I was wondering if you could whip up a little something about the reader because self conscious and comparing herself to Hayley maybe she’s a little chubby and such so when Hayley comes back into their lives she’s a little worried. But Elijah always the gentleman comforts her with some good ol sex 🤪🤪 if not feel free to ignore 💕

Reminder

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

Your relationship with Elijah feels like its unravelling with the arrival of Hayley and a cutting nickname from Klaus. Fortunately, Elijah knows just what to do to make you feel loved.

♡♡ Thanks for the request, this one goes out to all my thick thighed brothers & sisters. May you all find an Elijah to suffocate between them. ♡♡

4.5k words - Warnings: smut, face sitting, Klaus being cruel, Elijah being sweet.

When you are a vampire time passes differently, things change around you, and sometimes you feel like the odd man out. When you first met Elijah everything was different. Culture, language, even the food and the music. He was captivated by you instantly, he whisked you away from your difficult life and kept you in his bed. Making sure you knew how much he loved every inch of your body. He was your first and only lover, the man who turned you and showed you a world you never thought was possible.

Centuries had passed with just the two of you, then Klaus returned to your lives and with him came the lovely Hayley Marshall. Pregnant, doe eyed and absolutely beautiful.

You weren't jealous at first, Elijah was devoted to you and only you. His heart was yours, that was all you cared about. But Klaus brought his chaos with him, and your noble lover had to keep Hayley safe. She needed to be protected, so Elijah spent more time with her and less with you.

You were alone, and it left a hollow feeling in your chest. You felt forgotten and unloved. Elijah did his best to spend time with you, but it wasn't enough.

Then your mind started playing cruel tricks on you, making you see Hayley and Elijah together. She was so pretty, her body was tall and thin, while yours was plump and soft. You had nightmares of Elijah touching her, kissing her, making her moan his name.

It made you want to throw up.

The whole thing made you feel irrational and insecure, Elijah loved you, he told you all the time, but still the thoughts lingered.

It wasn't until Klaus gave you a certain nickname, that it truly got under your skin.

Little wolf he would purr, calling Hayley to him, the words fell off his tongue like honey. It was such an affectionate term, one with many layers of meaning. It was beautiful and sweet, and Klaus seemed so proud to call her this.

But then there was his nickname for you, Elijah's little cherub. 

It was not meant as an endearment, but as an insult. Klaus was right, you did look a little like a cherub, soft, round cheeks, and a full, thick body. It hurt you, even if you tried not to let it get to you. You told yourself that Klaus wasn't important, his opinion didn't matter. But the words he spoke stuck in your mind.

Everything was going fine, you had mastered keeping your insecurities under wraps, until Klaus and Elijah announced that they were throwing a ball. 

It was Elijah's first time hosting one since the two of you moved to New Orleans. He was a natural at hosting parties, he knew just how to make everyone feel welcome. It was a trait you didn't have. You were too quiet and reserved, people would get bored with you and leave. Elijah was the life of the party, everyone wanted to be around him. You were afraid you would ruin it for him.

You never felt good in gowns, you felt big and bulky. The ones you tried on just made you look worse. You hated looking at yourself in the mirror, you looked like an overstuffed pillow. There was no way you could go out in public like this. You even dug out an old corset to try and make yourself look smaller. It just made your breasts spill out over the top. You were mortified and threw the thing in the garbage. You were starting to wonder what Elijah saw in you.

When he entered your bedroom, you were sitting on the bed, resigning yourself to the dress that you knew didn't suit you. He had been busy with the ball, and hadn't noticed your sour mood. He was all smiles, telling you how beautiful you would look in your dress, and how proud he was to have you by his side. He was dressed impeccably as always, and you felt frumpy and out of place. How could you possibly look good next to him?

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yes," you replied in a small voice, not wanting to burden him with your troubles.

You walked downstairs and the guests began to arrive, all the while Elijah's hand rested on the small of your back. He left you to go greet some guests and you spotted Klaus. He grinned and you saw the flash of his dimples as he made his way over to you. You knew he was going to make a comment, you dreaded hearing what it was going to be.

"Hello, little cherub," he smirked, and your heart sank.

"Please don't call me that," you whispered, fidgeting with the fabric of your dress.

"Why ever not? You do look like one," he said, his eyes roaming your body.

"Klaus, stop it," you warned, not wanting to deal with his teasing.

"My brother certainly does seem fond of you, which is odd, considering his type usually looks more like..." he gestured to Hayley, who was across the room talking with Elijah.

You frowned, trying to swallow the insecurity bubbling up, but Klaus still noticed, "Did I hit a nerve?"

"No, why would you?" you lied, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

"Don't be too upset, cherub, you may not be his usual type, but he seems to enjoy the extra cushion."

His words hit like a punch to the gut. You couldn't believe he would say something like that. It was true that Elijah was quite fit and lean, while you were much softer and thicker. It made you insecure and now that he pointed it out, it felt even worse. You looked over at Elijah, who was talking to Hayley, they looked so good together, she was a perfect match for him.

"You really are an ass," you told him.

He chuckled and said, "I never said it was a bad thing, I think you are rather lovely,"

Elijah glanced up and saw the distress on your face. He immediately excused himself from his conversation and came to you. He could tell that something was bothering you.

"What did you do?" he asked Klaus.

"Me? Nothing," Klaus shrugged. "I was just complimenting your lovely companion," he continued, smirking at you.

Elijah's attention was on you now, he knew something was wrong. His brow furrowed, he could sense your anguish. But before he could say anything Hayley joined the group, her eyes moving from Klaus, to Elijah, and then settling on you.

"Oh, hello," she said, trying to sound friendly.

You nodded politely, not wanting to be impolite, despite the way her presence made you feel. It wasn't her fault, she had no idea you felt this way.

Elijah's hand brushed over the small of your back, trying to comfort you. He didn't realize it, but his touch was having the opposite effect, it was making you even more self conscious. Did he feel obligated to touch you like that? Did he do it for show? Was he just being polite? Your brain was coming up with every reason possible to feel terrible.

You didn't know how much longer you could stay here, watching them, surrounded by a sea of beautiful people, feeling more alone than ever.

You looked over at Elijah, and saw him gazing at you. His eyes were filled with adoration, but it was hard for you to believe it. The voice in your head kept repeating, that Klaus was right, he doesn't really love you, he's just too polite to say anything.

"I was hoping to get a proper tour of the house," Hayley said, interrupting your thoughts, "I've never seen the upstairs rooms, will you show me y/n?"

The question caught you off guard, you had no interest in spending time with her, and it felt like she was just being polite. You wanted to say no, but that would have been rude. So instead you smiled and nodded, following her out of the ballroom and into the hall.

You led her upstairs and she stopped, her eyes scanning the pictures on the wall. Her fingers gently brushed over the frames, and she pointed out an old portrait of the Mikaelson Family.

"God, they are all so beautiful," she sighed, and you knew she was right. Rebekah was stunning, Klaus had a wild, handsome charm, and Elijah was a classic, elegant beauty. They were all perfection, and you had no idea what they were doing with you.

"Is that Freya?" she asked, pointing at another portrait, "she's stunning,"

You nodded, feeling awkward. This was the last place you wanted to be.

Hayley smiled, turning her attention back to the wall, and continued walking. You trailed behind, feeling out of place, and unsure of what to say. Hayley stopped in front of a particular painting, a portrait of you and Elijah. She smiled, and you felt your heart skip, it was your favorite portrait of the two of you.

"You two look so in love," she said, and your stomach twisted.

"Yes, we are," you replied, trying to sound sincere, when really all you wanted to do was cry.

"How did the two of you meet?" she asked.

"He turned me in the 16th century, I was his seamstress," you explained, smiling a little.

Hayley looked at you with surprise, her eyebrows raised, "You fixed up his suits?"

"Well, he wasn't exactly wearing suits back then, but he's always been very fashionable. He liked the way I stitched his shirts," you told her.

"How fast did you two fall in love?"

You bit your lip, and answered, "Well, he persued me for quite a while before I agreed to be with him,"

"Why? Were you scared?" she asked, a smile playing at her lips.

"No, not exactly," you blushed, looking down at the floor.

"Well, what was it?" she asked, genuinely curious.

You gave Hayley a skeptical look, women that looked like her never thought about these kinds of things.

"I mean, he's so gorgeous, and I'm..."

You looked down at your body, your mind conjuring up a list of flaws. Hayley could see the change in your demeanor, she could sense your discomfort. She stepped closer, her hands coming to rest on your arms.

"There's nothing wrong with you, I think you're pretty," she smiled, her hands giving your arm a comforting squeeze.

Your eyes darted to the floor, and you felt the blush creeping up your cheeks.

"Thank you, Hayley," you murmured.

"And Elijah thinks the same thing, I've seen the way he looks at you," she added, her voice taking on a more serious tone.

You glanced up and saw the truth in her eyes, there was a softness, and a hint of jealousy.

"Thank you," you said, a blush rising on your cheeks.

"Of course," she smiled, "I hope I can find a man who looks at me the way Elijah looks at you,"

The words hung in the air, and you couldn't help but ask, "How does he look at me?"

"Like you are the most beautiful thing in the world," she replied, and her voice sounded wistful.

She turned her gaze to the portraits and continued her exploration. You followed, and as you got closer to the end, Hayley paused, her gaze lingering on the portrait of Klaus.

"I hope our child has his dimples," she sighed.

"And not his ego," you teased, and her face split into a grin.

"That's fair," she laughed, her hand falling on the slight bump of her belly.

You continued your tour of the house, showing her the rest of the rooms, and trying to keep the conversation light. Hayley was kind, and didn't seem to notice your discomfort. When you returned to the ballroom, Elijah was standing with his brother, their heads bowed together, discussing something. He looked up when he saw you and his lips curled into a smile.

Hayley's eyes flicked to Elijah and then back to you, "See, there it is, that look,"

You blushed, and turned your head away. Elijah looked at you with love and affection, but your doubts still lingered.

"Did you enjoy the tour with the little cherub?" Klaus asked, his lips curling into a smirk.

Hayley gave him a warning look, her voice laced with an unspoken threat, "Don't call her that,"

Klaus held his hands up in surrender, but the damage was done, you felt so humilated and embarrassed, you had enough of Klaus and his cruel comments. You had enough of him constantly making you feel bad about yourself. He made it impossible for you to feel secure in your relationship. You felt uncomfortable in your dress, in your own skin, surrounded by people who were objectively better than you in every possible way.

"I'm going to bed," you announced, your voice quiet.

Elijah's brow furrowed, and he reached out to grasp your hand but you pulled away.

"I'm tired," you said, turning on your heel and marching out of the ballroom.

Elijah's eyes were locked on your retreating form, a frown on his face.

"Why did you call her that?" Elijah asked his brother.

"It's nothing," Klaus shrugged, a grin spreading across his face, "she's just a little sensitive,"

Elijah's frown deepened, and he glanced over at Hayley.

"She's a sweet girl, just a little insecure," Hayley sighed.

"Insecure about what?" Elijah asked.

Hayley glanced at Klaus, and he shrugged.

"She's just not really comfortable with herself," Hayley finally said, giving Klaus a pointed look.

He had no shame, his grin only grew wider, and he said, "Come on, she is rather plump, isn't she?"

"But she's so sweet and adorable," Hayley added, trying to smooth over the awkwardness.

Elijah's jaw tightened, and his expression darkened, he looked back and forth between both of them.

"You had no right to say those things to her," he told Klaus, his voice laced with anger. "She has a difficult time when it comes to seeing her own worth, you know that, she's been struggling with these issues since the day we met," Elijah continued.

"It's nothing, Elijah," Klaus shrugged, "she'll get over it, she's probably crying into her pillow right now."

The image of you, curled up in bed, sobbing, broke Elijah's heart. He clenched his fists and his eyes narrowed. Klaus really did go too far this time, he really upset you. Elijah would make sure it never happened again.

"Excuse me," he muttered, glaring at his brother before turning around and storming out of the ballroom.

Once you were safely locked away in your bedroom, you sobbed, and the tears wouldn't stop. You had done your best not to show anyone your jealousy and anger, but now everyone knew how pathetic and insecure you really were.

You didn't hear the door open or close, you didn't know Elijah was in the room until his arms were around you, holding you tight against his chest. He didn't speak, and he didn't make you look at him. He simply held you and let you cry until you had no tears left.

Once your sobs had subsided he tilted your head up and kissed your cheeks, catching every stray tear with his lips. He wiped the rest away with his thumb, his dark eyes were filled with worry.

"What happened, love?" he asked. "Tell me what's wrong."

You looked at him, feeling foolish and embarrassed. He had no idea you had been feeling this way. No one did, but now it was too late. You took a deep breath and forced the words out.

"What is it that you see in me?" you blurted out, your face red.

Elijah frowned, looking completely taken aback. "What are you talking about?"

You sighed, frustrated with his cluelessness. "I mean, look at me! I'm not exactly a supermodel."

Elijah chuckled and cupped your cheek, his hand was so warm and soft. "I'm looking," he said, his gaze raked over you and it made you blush.

"I don't understand," he continued, looking into your eyes. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

You huffed and tried to look away, but he held your chin. "I am serious. Why would you ever doubt my attraction to you?"

You bit your lip, still not sure if you should tell him the truth. "It's just...Hayley is so gorgeous, and tall and thin. Then Klaus just calls me your cherub, like I'm some stupid child."

Elijah's gaze softened and he shook his head. "Darling, Klaus was trying to get a rise out of you, don't let him get in your head."

"But he's right... Look at me, compared to her, and Klaus, and the rest of your family. I'm not even that attractive," you muttered, avoiding his eyes.

Elijah frowned and took your hand, placing it on his chest. "Can you feel that?"

You nodded, your hand could feel the steady, strong beat of his heart.

"It's yours," he said softly.

He kissed you, and your heart fluttered, feeling lighter already. His hands slid down your back and gripped your ass, he pulled you closer and you gasped. His tongue slipped into your mouth and teased yours, tasting you.

His hand moved lower and he pulled your dress up, his fingers trailed over the lace of your panties, feeling the warmth and wetness.

"I will tell you this once," he whispered, his teeth grazing your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. "You are perfect."

His hand dipped into your panties and stroked you, making you moan. "So wet, all for me."

You gasped and pressed your face against his shoulder.

"Tell me who this belongs to," he demanded.

"You, Elijah, it's yours," you whimpered, grinding against his fingers.

"Yes, that's right," he purred. "This sweet, little cunt is mine. Only mine."

He pushed you onto the bed and pulled your dress over your head. He groaned when he saw you wearing the matching set of black, lacy bra and panties. 

He started kissing and marking his way down your body, starting at your neck and moving lower, biting and sucking as he went. You gasped and moaned as he reached your breasts. He undid the front clasp and licked a stripe up the middle, before taking one of your nipples into his mouth, and teasing the other with his fingers.

"These are so beautiful," he murmured against your skin, sucking until they were hard peaks. "So big and soft," he hummed.

You ran your fingers through his hair, needing something to hold onto. You whimpered and arched up against him, the feeling of his hot mouth was driving you insane.

You squealed and tugged on his hair a little harder when you felt him bite down. He chuckled and sucked hard, letting your breasts go with a loud pop. They were covered in rapidly healing hickeys, and he looked very pleased with himself.

He kissed down your stomach, admiring your soft belly. He cupped it, and squeezed your thighs, making you gasp.

"My perfect girl," he mumbled against your hips.

He hooked his thumbs into your panties and slid them down your legs, you sat up on your elbows to see what he was doing.

He slid them off and leaned down, kissing and sucking on your inner thighs.

"These perfect thighs, squeezing my head when you cum on my tongue," he said, his stubble scratched and tickled you. You let out a breathy giggle as his hands roamed your body, gripping your waist and thighs. He growled with satisfaction, biting the flesh and sucking marks into your soft skin.

"Elijah, stop teasing," you groaned, becoming impatient.

He chuckled and suddenly pulled you into his lap. He held you close and looked into your eyes.

"I love every bit of your body," he hummed, holding you firmly against him. "Every perfect curve, and every soft inch.��

He gave your tummy a small squeeze and kissed your pouting lips. "You are so beautiful," he whispered.

You blushed and avoided his gaze. He cupped your cheek and tilted your head up, his fingers traced your features, his gaze was filled with adoration.

"Those beautiful lips, those gorgeous eyes, these perfect cheeks, your soft, little nose," he cooed, kissing your face between each word.

You giggled and tried to hide your face in your hands, feeling a little overwhelmed.

"And this ass," he said as he kneaded the flesh, he lifted you up and smacked it, making you yelp. "It should be in the Louvre."

He kissed you again and slowly grinded against you, his hands explored your body, caressing and squeezing. 

He scooted down the bed and laid back down, looking up at you with a wicked grin. He kept his gaze locked with yours as he pushed your ass forward, signaling he wanted you to sit on his face.

"Elijah, no, I-," you gasped, completely embarrassed. You felt so shy and nervous, not wanting him to look at you up close like that.

Elijah sat up and kissed you. "Do you think you will hurt me?" He asked, his lips brushing against yours.

"No," you breathed.

"Then what's the problem?" He asked, brushing his knuckles over your cheek.

You let out a shaky breath and wrapped your arms around his neck. "I don't know."

Elijah looked into your eyes, a kind smile on his lips. "If it kills me, you have discovered quite a loophole when it comes to killing an original," he said, gesturing to his face and grinning.

You giggled and pecked his lips. You closed your eyes and tried to calm yourself, it was hard to explain your nerves. You'd been intimate with Elijah before, more times than you could count, but you couldn't shake your insecurities.

Elijah sensed your hesitation, he kissed your neck softly and leaned up to whisper in your ear. "Please sit on my face, I want to eat your sweet pussy until you scream."

His filthy words made you shudder and you knew you wouldn't be able to say no, so you bit your lip and took a deep breath.

"Okay," you whispered.

Elijah laid back down and gave your hips a gentle tug, pulling you into position.

Your entire body went hot when he spread your thighs apart. He kissed the insides, making you moan.

"There's a good girl," he hummed as his lips danced across your hot skin. He positioned you over his face and you could feel his breath ghosting over your most sensitive area.

He looked up at you and gave you an encouraging smile. "Sit,"

You bit your lip, but slowly lowered yourself down, inch by inch. He grabbed your ass and pulled you down fast, making you let out a squeak of surprise.

The heat pooled between your thighs as Elijah nosed at your center, teasing the soft skin. You moaned and tangled your fingers in his hair, rocking against him.

You felt a sudden sting as he nipped your thigh. "Stay still, let me do the work."

He licked a stripe up your core, groaning as he tasted you. He spread you open with his fingers, pressing his tongue flat against you, he licked long and slow. He buried his face deeper, lapping and sucking at your clit.

He licked and sucked and kissed, moaning against your soaked cunt. Your eyes rolled back, you tightened your grip on his hair and cried out. The noises he made were obscene, you could hear his mouth sucking at you, and it only made you wetter.

He looked up at you, his dark hair was a mess and his lips were covered in your slick.

"You taste divine, my love," he groaned. "So sweet, just for me."

He sucked hard on your clit, his hand reaching around and grabbing your ass roughly, squeezing and slapping the soft flesh. He growled and began fucking you with his tongue. His hands spreading you open and pressing his face as deep as possible. He buried himself in your pussy, licking, and sucking like it was his last meal. You came hard on his tongue, your thighs squeezing his head tight as you fell apart.

He soothed your flushed skin with his tongue, sucking on your clit once more, making you twitch. You tugged on his hair, gently pulling him away, not able to take the overstimulation.

You moved back and sat on his chest, trying to catch your breath. Elijah caught your wrist and brought your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles. He was covered in your wetness, and his chin was glistening. He grinned at you, completely satisfied with himself.

You snorted and leaned down, kissing him softly. You hummed, tasting yourself on his tongue.

Elijah rolled you onto your back and pinned your wrists above your head. He pressed his forehead against yours, smiling as you stared at him with a blissful, dazed expression.

"You are so perfect," he breathed, nuzzling his nose against yours.

He kissed down the side of your face and nibbled on your ear, his free hand trailing down your body, cupping and squeezing the soft flesh of your breasts, your hips, your thighs.

"Every inch of you," he whispered.

"Elijah," you sighed, blushing from the attention.

Elijah hummed and reached down to his pants, undoing his belt and pushing them down his legs. You reached up and helped him undress, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it on the floor.

You pulled him close and kissed him, wrapping your arms and legs around him. You could feel him pressed against you, his thick cock hot and heavy against your thigh.

"Look at what you do to me," he purred, kissing down your neck.

He reached down and guided himself to your entrance, rubbing the head against you. He slid inside easily, your body opening up for him.

He rocked his hips slowly, grinding his pelvis against yours, making you moan and grip his shoulders tight.

His eyes locked with yours as he fucked you slow and deep. You clung to him, your nails leaving marks on his skin.

"You see how perfectly we fit?" He groaned, taking your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. "Look at us,"

You both looked down, watching as he thrusted in and out of you, his slick cock disappearing into your body.

"My love, my beautiful girl," he moaned, his voice thick with emotion. "I need you to understand, no one else will ever come close to comparing. You are everything to me."

He buried his face in your neck and kissed and nipped the soft skin. "This perfect body, your heart, your soul, I will never find anyone like you."

You whined and clawed at his back, you could feel the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes, you were overwhelmed and so grateful.

"I love you," you choked out, burying your face in his shoulder.

"And I love you," he breathed.

He held you close and fucked you until you were trembling, tears streaming down your cheeks, clinging to him as you climaxed, shaking and crying his name.

He finished not long after, groaning and gasping as he spilled his release inside you, holding you tight.

You both laid there, panting and covered in sweat. You felt light and dizzy, your muscles felt like jelly and it took all your strength to not fall asleep right then and there.

"I want you to know, I mean every word I say to you," Elijah said quietly, kissing your temple.

"I know, Elijah," you hummed, smiling up at him. "Thank you for reminding me."

"Always."

"And Elijah?" You smiled and nuzzled his neck.

"Yes, my love?"

"I think your ass is the one that should be in the Louvre."

♡♡ Tag-List ♡♡

♡ @gorgeouslydangerous ♡ @starkleila ♡ @lydia1369sworld ♡ @notleylaaa ♡ @vampiresluv ♡ @vamprium ♡ @myanmy ♡ @xflowerbombxo ♡ @maryvibess ♡ @always-and-forever-daydreaming ♡ @criminallminds ♡ @theesexystallion ♡ @rosemarypotion ♡ @spnaquakindgdom ♡ @amournoir ♡ @loving-and-dreaming ♡ @meeom ♡ @damienmorton ♡

[narumi-gens]

Platonic

Miya Osamu x f!Reader

summary: Osamu knows that there’s nothing going on between you and his brother. And yet, he still can’t help but be jealous.

warnings: minors/ageless/blank blogs dni, don't let the summary fool you – this is basically just 4k words of fluff, jealous!osamu, slightly insecure!osamu, married!osamu, dad!osamu, very normal relationship problems, the importance of communication, kita is always the voice of wisdom, osamu is really just a simp for you, reader and osamu are #CoupleGoals

notes: whenever I’m trying to get back into writing, stealing plots from sitcoms is always a guarantee so everything from the title to the banner to the plot is at least 80% lifted from platonic (which is such a wonderful show).

words: 4k

part of the Meet the Miyas series

Osamu is jealous. And he hates it. He hates the word. He hates the feeling. He hates what it says about him. He really hates how irrational it is.

But what he hates most is that the person that he's jealous of is his own brother (that scrub).

But maybe he's the scrub. Because it's dumb. You've been together for years. You trust him. You love him. You're committed to him. You're married to him. You’re the mother of his child. You're happy with the life that you've built together. 

And he knows that Atsumu is your best friend. You were Atsumu's friend before he even met you. Atsumu is the one who introduced the two of you, who set you up — which he'll never stop taking credit for if his speech at your wedding was anything to go by. So of course you spend a significant amount of time with his twin. 

It’s never really bothered him before. If anything, he’s typically relieved that you’re so close with Atsumu. The more you occupy the setter’s time, the less time he has to annoy Osamu. 

And you’re allowed to have friends and a life outside of being a wife and mother. He wants you to have fun and to be your own person outside of your relationship with him. He doesn’t expect you to go from home to work and back to repeat the cycle all over again the next day. Not that you would ever allow it. 

It wasn’t easy and it took a lot of hard work, but over the years, the two of you have built a happy balance between him running the restaurant, you pursuing your own thriving career, being doting parents to a three-year-old son, and still managing to keep your marriage healthy. So this gross feeling of jealousy has no place in his life, especially where Atsumu is concerned. 

But it creeps up on him slowly, needling its way into him before he even has a chance to stop it. He first feels it over something so small that it embarrasses him. 

He asks you if you want to go see a new movie that’s been advertised for months. His mom and yours are always eager to babysit — sometimes eager to the point of forcing you both out of the house for what’s declared “much-needed grandparent time.” 

“Oh, I promised Atsumu that I’d see it with him,” you reply with a slight tilt of your head before picking up your phone. “Let me check with him about us all going together.”

It’s a simple and obvious solution. You’ve already sent your message to Atsumu and are looking up showtimes for that weekend. But there’s a small voice in the back of Osamu’s head insisting that you should be asking him if Atsumu can come with the two of you, not the other way around. The unfamiliar thought makes him feel uncomfortable and he quickly shoves it away.

But just that small, intrusive voice is like a spark and it isn’t long before he finds himself hearing it again, fanning the pathetic, weak flame into something stronger.

One morning, he’s pulled from sleep by the blankets lifting and the mattress dipping. When he cracks open a bleary eye, he sees you doing your best to slip into bed without disturbing him. He can’t check the time on his phone without giving away that you’ve already woken him up. But from the pale grey light of early morning that’s already beginning to brighten the bedroom and the fact that Reiji isn’t already awake, Osamu guesses that it’s between five and six. 

He knows that you had plans with Atsumu last night. You told him that you would probably be back late. But “back late” feels like an understatement considering the joys of parenthood usually have both of you up in about an hour whether it’s a workday or not. 

When you come down a few hours later, the bags under your eyes and unkempt hair point to your inability to sleep in even after what he can only assume was an all-night rager. You pepper your son’s cheeks with exaggerated kisses that have him giggling over his breakfast as Osamu pours you a cup of what he’s sure is much-needed coffee. 

“Ya got home late last night,” he comments as you take the mug that he passes you.

“Ah, yeah. Just ended up going a little harder than I meant to,” you reply and something close to embarrassment seems to cross your features. You glance at Reiji, making sure his attention is on his food before you lower to voice to a furtive whisper. “I threw up in a karaoke room and had to sleep it off at Atsumu’s.”

His immediate instinct is to laugh in your face and he has to bite his lips and quickly look away from you to keep from doing so. You weakly punch his shoulder in response before sitting down at the table. 

But the amusement at your misfortune slowly starts to fade, replaced instead by that same voice, which is growing steadily more familiar. He can’t remember the last time that the two of you had a night like that together. He tries to think back on if it was before or after Reiji was born. And while you certainly don’t make vomiting in karaoke rooms a habit, it’s not at all rare for you and his brother to have a wild night out. 

When the voice asks why you’re having them with Atsumu but not with him, the only thing he can focus on is the knot in the pit of his stomach and how it only seems to grow tighter. 

He hears it again when he’s with Atsumu one day and he asks Osamu what he thinks about you rejecting a new job offer. The question is offhanded — he’s looking at his phone when asks it, barely even giving Osamu a fraction of his attention. 

But Osamu freezes. This is the first that he’s heard about any job offer. He didn’t even know that you were interviewing somewhere else. 

“What job offer?” His voice sounds thin and Atsumu seems to realize that he’s unintentionally stumbled into something much bigger because his thumb stops scrolling and there’s a line of tension in his shoulders that wasn’t there only moments ago. 

“Uh, it’s nothin’ big,” he quickly tries to assure his brother as he puts down his phone and turns to face him fully. “It just happened this week. Some new place made her an offer and she turned it down.”

Osamu merely hums, his expression betraying nothing, but his twin brother knows him too well.

“Look, I’m sure she just hasn’t gotten ‘round to telling ya,” he offers and Osamu can see the slight panic in his eyes. “She had that big meeting. And she’s been lookin’ after Reiji-kun since he’s been sick, right? Things’ve probably just been too crazy fer her to even think about it.”

Every excuse only digs the hole deeper. It’s not just this apparent job that you’ve been pursuing only to turn down that Atsumu knows about. It’s also your hectic work week and how you’ve been taking care of Reiji since the restaurant’s been too shorthanded for Osamu to stay home. 

What’s next? Is he going to mention that you’ve also been so busy the two of you haven’t had sex in almost three weeks? From the guilty look in his twin’s eyes, Osamu would bet good money that he’s already aware. 

On his way home, he tries to think about the best way to raise the subject with you and ultimately decides that there’s no good way to ask, “Hey. Why are ya tellin’ Tsumu things but not yer husband?”

(He knows that’s definitely the wrong way to phrase it, but that little voice won’t say it any other way.)

But when he enters your bedroom he finds you slouched against the headboard, fully passed out with Reiji sprawled on top of you as he clings to you even in his sleep. The light and tv are both still on. You’re obviously exhausted and stretched thin, while Osamu is looking to pick a fight. The guilt he feels is almost crippling. 

It probably hasn’t even occurred to you to mention the job offer with everything else going on. Atsumu is right, which only makes him feel worse. 

He comes toward the both of you and carefully tries to pick Reiji up out of your arms without waking either of you. But he’s only just managed to pry the sick toddler loose when your eyelids flutter open.

It takes you a moment to register what’s happening, still feeling the dregs of sleep, but when you do, you give him the softest smile and it makes him feel like an even bigger piece of shit.

“Did you just get home?” you whisper as you help him lift Reiji off of you. But before he can take your son too far away, you shift over and gesture for Osamu to place him in the middle of the bed. “He’ll cry if he wakes up in his room alone.”

“He doin’ any better?” Osamu quietly asks and does as you ask, gently putting him down before sitting down on your other side on the edge of the mattress. 

“His fever broke a couple of hours ago, so he should be back to normal in a day or two.” The news is a visible relief to you. It’s not just the amount of effort a sick child takes, but also the worry that’s been weighing you down. 

“Wish I coulda been ‘round more to help ya,” he tells you, his guilt about both doubting you and leaving you to take care of Reiji by yourself beginning to peek through.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” you assure him, lifting a hand to run your fingers through his hat hair. “I know that you’re in a bind since Kimura-san quit. I’m the one with the flexible hours and schedule. I really don’t mind. We’re a team.”

He doesn’t deserve you.

“Well, the new part-timer starts next week so things’ll finally calm down,” he offers and something mischievous sparkles in your tired eyes.

“Good. Because when you can finally take some time off, we’re gonna pawn Reiji off on the grandparents. Then you’re gonna make it up to me by spending the entire night making me cum so hard I see stars,” you tell him, your tone leaving no room for argument, as if he would ever want to. 

“I can do that,” he agrees with a grin.

“We haven’t fucked in weeks,” you pout and Osamu can’t hold in his laughter, only for you to slap a hand over his mouth to keep him from waking up Reiji. 

Your own quiet giggles are able to momentarily drown out the small voice reminding him about the job offer that you’ve yet to tell him about. 

But a few weeks later, even after having the house to yourselves for an entire weekend and spending it fucking on every surface that you could like you used to do before Reiji came along, those embarrassing feelings of jealousy are still as present as ever.

You post a series of photos of you and Atsumu at a restaurant. The first picture is of your happy, smiling faces and the matching pair of five-pound gyoza on the table, one in front of each of you. As he swipes through the series, you both look worse and worse as you try to finish your gyoza. When he gets to the final one, you’re proudly holding a certificate from the restaurant for having finished yours in an hour, while Atsumu looks like he’s on death’s doorstep.

He’s so preoccupied swiping back and forth through the photos that when the restaurant door slides open, it startles him so badly that he almost drops his phone entirely. He doesn’t know whether or not to be relieved that it’s Kita coming to drop off a new order of rice rather than a customer who didn’t read the closed sign. 

On one hand, he doesn’t want to deal with a customer while he’s in the midst of indulging that voice that’s slowly becoming a companion. But on the other, dealing with Kita when he’s in a jealousy spiral is even worse.

“Is everything alright? Ya look like ya just got some bad news,” Kita observes with a small frown of concern.

As Osamu assures him that nothing’s wrong, he tries to hurriedly shove his phone into the pocket of his apron. However, it slips from his sweaty hands and skids across the floor of the restaurant where it comes face-up to a perfect stop right in front of Kita’s feet.

He picks it up and when he sees the final picture of you and Atsumu on the screen, he shakes his head in amusement. 

“Atsumu only sent me the picture of them at the start of the challenge,” he wryly says as he slides the restaurant door shut behind him and joins Osamu at the counter. He takes a moment to swipe through the rest of the photos in your post before passing the phone back. “I’m surprised ya didn’t go with ‘em.”

“I wasn’t invited,” he mumbled, vocalizing the bitter thought that’s been taking up so much space in his mind ever since you and Atsumu originally made the plans. But as soon as the words leave his lips, he knows he’s given himself away because he can feel Kita’s heavy gaze on him.

“Did ya ask if ya could join ‘em?” is Kita’s annoyingly reasonable response. After a few moments, Osamu gives the smallest shake of his head, confirming that no, he didn’t ask if he could go with you and his brother. 

“Y’know, yer wife is an amazing woman,” he finally says when it’s clear Osamu has nothing else to offer. “But fer all of her talents, she’s not a mind reader. Just talk to her.”

Osamu groans loudly at how rational Kita is being. He drops his head down to rest his forehead on the countertop, his Onigiri Miya hat flopping off in the process. While he agrees that it’s good advice, there’s still one problem.

“Kita-san…it’s embarrassing,” he protests childishly and he turns his head to the side to look up at his old team captain. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Stop spendin’ so much time with that scrub!’ I’ll sound like an idiot.”

“Just talk to her,” Kita repeats calmly and Osamu can only sigh. “Why don’t ya tell me how Reiji-kun’s been?”

For the rest of the day, Osamu finds himself trapped in an internal debate over whether or not he should take Kita’s advice. The ugly voice in his head insists that he shouldn’t have to say anything at all. If you really love him then you should already know. The more self-conscious part of him keeps warning him of how embarrassed he’ll be when he tells his wife, the mother of his child, the love of his life, that he’s jealous of how much time she spends with his brother. 

But a new voice, one that sounds exactly like Kita, simply asks him if he’s tired of feeling like this. Does he really want to keep harboring this resentment? It’ll only continue to fester and grow until it explodes, hurting everyone he loves. 

So that night, after he’s put Reiji to bed and the dishes are done and the laundry is folded and he has no more excuses left to procrastinate, he collapses next to you on the couch with an exaggerated sigh. You look up at him from your phone with an amused smile, only for it to slightly fall when you see how troubled he looks. 

“What’s going on? Did something happen at work?” you ask, turning to give him your full attention and scooting closer to him so that you can rest a gentle hand on his thigh. 

He shuts his eyes and gives himself a single moment to steel himself before finally letting out the poison that’s slowly been building inside of him for the last few months. 

“I have somethin’ to tell ya and it’s gonna make it seem like I’m fifteen or somethin’,” he says and he knows that if he didn’t sound so serious then you would be making a joke about him having some sort of wet dream and ruining the sheets. Instead, you give his thigh a reassuring squeeze. 

“Lately…fer the last few months…I’ve been feelin’ kinda…jealous.”

There. The words are out there in the world. You’ve heard them. He can go crawl into a hole and wait for the embarrassment to kill him. 

“Jealous? Of what?” 

He hates how concerned you sound. You’re not making light of his admission. You’re not confused. You’re being patient. You’re gentle. You’re so much better than him and his childish pettiness and resentment and jealousy. 

“You and stupid Tsumu,” he grumbles, slouching down even further into the couch. He glances over at you from the corner of his eye and sees the look of surprise on your face. He shuts his eyes again, balling his hands into fists, and tells himself to man the fuck up.

With his nerves now steeled, he takes a deep breath, sits up straight, and turns to fully face you. 

“Look, I know that ya got this weird friendship with Tsumu and that he’s yer best friend. And it’s never been a big deal before, but lately, I dunno…,” he trails off, his gaze darting down before he forces it back up to meet yours. “I’ve just been feelin’ a little…cut out.”

“Osamu,” you murmur, lifting a hand to his face but he quickly takes it between both of his so that he can hold it tight and keep himself steady. 

“I love you and our family and the life we’ve built together. I wouldn’t change any of it fer anything,” he’s quick to assure you, needing you to know that you make him happier than he ever thought he could be. “But sometimes I see ya hangin’ out with Tsumu and havin’ fun and it sounds dumb but, I wish I could see more of that part of yer life.”

You softly repeat his name before you climb into his lap. You wrap an arm around his shoulders to hold him close and pull your other hand from his grasp so that you can cup his cheek with a loving touch. 

“I’m so sorry that I’ve made you feel that way,” you tell him. “You’re always gonna come first. I don’t ever want you to feel excluded or like I’m trying to keep the different pieces of my life compartmentalized.”

Just hearing your apology and acknowledgment of the irrational jealousy that’s been plaguing him soothes his insecurities and embarrassment. 

“I want ya to be able to go do things on yer own and do things with Tsumu without feelin’ like ya gotta bring me along every time. But ya just look like yer havin’ fun when yer gettin’ up to stupid things together and I guess, I just wanna have fun with ya too,” he shrugs. Despite how true it is, he hates how cheesy he sounds. But from the way that you’re looking at him with so much affection, you clearly find it touching. 

“I love having fun with you, Osamu,” you smile back at him and his cheeks start to feel warm. “I’d love to do more stupid things with you.”

“Even if that stupid thing is spendin’ 20,000 yen at an arcade to beat a bunch of teens for the high score?” he asks and it comes out shyer than he intended. “Or buyin’ out every flavor of chips and every type of snack from the konbini just to rank ‘em?”

“Even then,” you nod with a grin. “Even if it’s needing to make a cab pull over to throw up after a night of drinking.”

“I thought it was the karaoke room?” he frowns in confusion.

“It was the karaoke room for me. The cab was Atsumu,” you tell him with a laugh and he snorts in response. 

But then, since this is a time for honesty, he decides to bring up the question that’s been weighing heavily on his mind for the last few weeks. 

“Why didn’t ya tell me about the job offer?” he gently asks, the question curious rather than accusatory.

“Job offer?” The line of your mouth twists down and your eyebrows knit together as you try to understand what he’s referring to. 

“Tsumu said ya turned down a job offer. It was around when Reiji was sick,” he explains and his tone turns slightly hesitant. “Did ya feel like ya couldn’t tell me?”

Your eyes spark with recognition before you roll them in annoyance.

“Atsumu’s an idiot. He never listens,” you begin to rant and he’s not too proud to admit that hearing your irritation directed towards his twin extinguishes the last remaining embers of his jealousy. “It wasn’t a job offer. A recruiter reached out about a job opening for a position that involves more work for less pay. I didn’t even reply.”

He feels an odd mixture of relief, guilt, and frustration. He’s relieved that this was just some misunderstanding, but he feels just as guilty for jumping to the worst conclusion and thinking that you were something big from him. The frustration will be dealt with when he next sees his twin and gives him an earful and delivers a slap to the back of his head.

“I’m sorry fer not just askin’ ya ‘bout it sooner,” he says and you just give him a look of understanding. 

“You and me, we’re only human. There are just gonna be times when I forget to tell you something or just don’t think to bother with it. But I’ll always do my best to make sure you know when there’s something going on. We’re a team, remember?” You run your fingers caringly through his hair with a soft smile and he leans eagerly into your touch.

“We’re a team,” he repeats quietly, finding the words comforting. He then gives you a slightly embarrassed look. “Hey, don’t tell Tsumu, okay? He’ll just call me a scrub.”

You place a reassuring kiss on his lips before nodding. 

“Don’t worry. You’re a scrub, but you’re my scrub and I love you.” He can’t help but laugh as he wraps his arms around your middle and hugs you close. “But, you wanna do something crazy, huh?”

When he looks up at you, it’s to find a hint of wildness creeping into your expression. It’s the same wildness he used to see when you first started dating — before you both became adults and spouses and parents with real responsibilities. 

The next day, Atsumu stops by the restaurant in the late afternoon during a lull. His appearance is unannounced, meaning that Osamu hasn’t had a chance to prepare himself for what he knows is to come. It’s as bad as he imagined because as soon as the setter walks in, he freezes, his expression going slack in shock at the sight of Osamu.

Or more correctly, at the sight of Osamu’s hair, which has been amateurishly dyed to be the same shade of grey that he used to wear in high school. 

“Don’t even start,” he warns but doing so is pointless because Atsumu immediately bursts into laughter, finding it so funny that he has to clutch his stomach as he bends over. 

“Who’s idea was this?” he manages to ask in between his gasps for air and his cackles. “Ya look so stupid!”

Osamu just stares at him blankly, not bringing up the fact that Atsumu is the one who’s been wearing the exact same hairstyle since they were sixteen, and isn’t that even more pathetic? 

Because for all of the mocking that he receives, he knows it was worth it for the time he spent joking and laughing with you into the late hours of the night in your tiny bathroom as you did your best to dye his hair without burning his scalp.

[laiflzau]

Pairings: Reader x Mingyu

Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Mild jealousy, sulking behavior

Summary: Mingyu, the tall and handsome boyfriend, is usually sweet and caring. Unable to hide his envy at an award show, he watches you intently as you talk to a friend. The tension carries over when you return home, and both of you engage in a silent battle of sulking.

.......

The award show had been an exciting event, filled with glitz and glamour. As you mingled with fellow celebrities and friends, you noticed Mingyu's intense gaze fixed on you throughout the evening. You were accustomed to his doting nature, but tonight, there was an underlying tension in his expression that you couldn't ignore.

Upon returning to your apartment, you were greeted by a sulky Mingyu. He looked away, refusing to meet your eyes, and his silence was deafening. Confused by his sudden change in demeanor, you decided to give him some space, assuming he needed time to sort out his emotions.

Little did you know that your own aloofness would trigger a surprising reaction from Mingyu. As you kept your distance and avoided initiating any conversation, Mingyu's sulky façade began to crumble. He couldn't stand the silence between you, the emotional distance gnawing at him from the inside.

"Babyy," he finally murmured, his voice a mix of sadness and regret, "I was just being jealous."

His admission caught you off guard, and you turned to face him, his pouty expression melting your heart despite your earlier confusion. You could see the vulnerability in his eyes, and it made you realize how deeply he cared for you.

"Why were you jealous?" you asked gently, taking a step closer to him.

Mingyu sighed, his shoulders relaxing as he opened up. "I saw you talking to your friend, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. I know it's silly, but I just... I want your attention, too. I want to be the one you're happy to talk to."

You couldn't help but smile at his honesty. His jealousy, though irrational, was endearing in its own way. Wrapping your arms around him, you pulled him into a comforting hug. "Mingyu, you have my attention," you reassured him. "You always do. There's no one else I'd rather be with."

Feeling your embrace, Mingyu's sulky façade melted away entirely, and he clung to you like a lost puppy seeking comfort. "I'm sorry for being sulky," he whispered against your shoulder, "and I'm sorry for being jealous. I just love you so much, and sometimes my emotions get the best of me."

"It's okay," you whispered back, gently running your fingers through his hair. "We all have our moments of insecurity. What matters is that we talk about it and support each other."

Mingyu nodded, his arms tightening around you. "I promise to communicate better next time. I don't want to sulk like this again."

And just like that, the two of you found solace in each other's arms, overcoming the petty jealousy with a deeper understanding of your emotions. Through openness and love, you navigated the complexities of your relationship, growing even closer as you shared your fears, insecurities, and dreams. After all, love wasn't just about the good times; it was about weathering the storm together and coming out stronger on the other side.

[tobi-smp]

something that needles me about how people frame the c!crimeboys ending isn’t necessarily Just the idea that tommy learned a lesson from it somehow, but the idea that he Specifically learned how to stop being clingy or learned how to let go.

because regardless of how the ending was executed or what you think of it as a whole, that’s Not the lesson that tommy actually needed to learn. and more than that, it’s an uncomfortable take in its own right Because of tommy’s history as a character.

the point of tommy’s insecurity is that he Wasn’t Always Like This. he was Clingy sure, but in the way that someone with Friends is. he Became an insecure person through repeated abuse and tragedy.

through pogtopia, through exile, through the green festival, through doomsday, through his imprisonment, through his death, through the fall out after, through the loss of ghostbur, through dream’s escape.

over and over and over again he’s Stripped of his access to people, to friends, to his home, to his things. and often times made to feel like it’s His fault, through intentional abuse, through other hurt people lashing out, and through his own mind digging into that conditioning.

and that’s had a Clear and Obvious affect on him. he has self esteem issues a mile high and is desperately afraid of being alone and of losing what he has Because It’s In Reaction To Being Made To Feel That Way. in the same way that people who face starvation experience Food Insecurity (which is Also relevant to tommy’s experiences with exile for that matter).

here’s the important thing: logically, tommy still views people as autonomous. even if his feelings Were irrational (and sometimes they are) he’s continuously made an effort to try to stop himself from hurting the people important to him.

when he wanted to reconnect with techno he sent him an invitation in the mail to come see Him, and he never went to prod him after techno chose to ignore it.

when he was jealous of ranboo post-revival he asked tubbo if ranboo made him Happy, and when tubbo said yes that’s all tommy needed to hear. he was Afraid of being forgotten and replaced, of being left behind, but his problem Wasn’t being unwilling to give people space or let his friends live lives independent from him.

the Complicated situation is, of course, with wilbur. because their relationship is a beautiful mess.

but again: tommy doesn’t overstep or choose to pull wilbur to him against his own wishes.

Wilbur expresses a need to keep tommy close and tommy listens. Wilbur gives him the okay to rely on him, tells him that they need to stick together. Family, Blood he calls it.

and the thing about that is that he very sincerely means it, but he’s also terrified by it. because opening himself up to tommy also means risking being rejected by him. and he can’t handle the idea of tommy looking at him and not liking what he sees.

so he ghosts him. keeps him at arms length while still wanting to keep him Near. refusing to let him in but not wanting to let Go either.

and tommy Wants to keep a hold of him, but he doesn’t Force wilbur to do anything either. for all that people call their relationship co-dependent tommy rarely ever saw him, with months of time in between visits at the end.

and at some point in all of this wilbur decided he wanted to leave. he started trying to “wrap up” his relationships with the people on the server because he was going and didn’t know if or when he was coming back, and all the while tommy was still waiting for him to come to him.

what tommy needed to learn Wasn’t how to let go, Wasn’t how to give the people he loves space, Wasn’t how to stop being clingy. what he needed to learn was how to feel Safe and Secure in his relationships, how to Exist without being afraid that the rug was going to suddenly be pulled out from under him. which he can’t do if that isn’t True.

wilbur isn’t a villain in this situation, there Isn’t a villain in this situation. they’re two hurt and traumatized people desperately trying to make sense of the life they’ve been given and how to live in it. but if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times: this is not going to make tommy’s insecurity better, it’s going to make it worse.

because wilbur finally gave him a space where he felt like he could open up. he was the First person that tommy had ever been able to talk about exile in real terms to. and wilbur Cared, he cared So Much, and that’s more than tommy had ever had before.

and instead of returning the gesture he ghosted tommy for months until he left. and it was Chance that tommy caught him as he was leaving, tommy had to Pull the information out of him because wilbur originally Refused to say it.

if things had gone differently then tommy would’ve woken up one day and realized that wilbur was just gone for good. and it wouldn’t have been the day after, because wilbur had Already been ghosting him for months at a time.

people Should try to heal from anxiety and insecurity, but Sometimes anxiety and insecurity are rational reactions to someone’s circumstances. and the only way to reasonably Change it is to change those circumstances.

he doesn’t need to “learn” to just not be afraid anymore by having the thing he’s afraid of happening Happen Again, he needs Long Term Stability to Show him that things are okay.

[saintobio]

time out.

↳ kageyama tobio/fem!reader

what better way to test the viral cardboard beds than to do it with your 2-time olympian boyfriend?

genre. pwp, explicit smut, 18+

tags/warnings. olympian!tobio, profanity, fellatio, cunnilingus, spit as lube, spanking like once, slight degradation, protected sex, allusions to gangbang

notes. 4k wc. pls i might edit this bland n shitty writing soon ㅠㅡㅠ anyway ik it’s late but we r gonna break these cardboard beds tho i didn’t make it in time for the olympics bc i was swamped w other works ,, sobs

Dating a professional athlete had its pros and cons. They were very passionate lovers, financially stable, and always on the move. They lived on a strict healthy diet and have very disciplined lifestyles that were highly inspiring on their own. On the down side, the attention that they may receive could be a bit overwhelming from an outsider’s perspective and you knew this first hand after both locals and foreigners have set their eyes on your boyfriend ever since he first joined the Japan Men’s National Volleyball Team as a nineteen-year old. You could still remember how he blew up on the internet back in the 2016 Rio Olympics with fangirls posting pictures and video clips of him on various social media platforms, proclaiming their newfound admiration for him and fighting for the role to be his next girlfriend. It was humorous to an extent where even Tobio himself would often be placed on the spot of not knowing how to respond to an avid fan’s outward declaration of love. But even now that he was twenty-four and more popular than ever, he was still considerably awkward around girls.

Nevertheless, for Kageyama, none of it mattered better than the prestige of being an Olympian for the second time around. What made this year more exciting was the fact that the host country for the 2020 Olympics was his homeland, Tokyo. And with the advantage of having his home country as the world’s stadium, he was also exhilarated about this year’s team roster. The squad was packed with the best volleyball players in all of Japan and he found it extremely honorable to be the starting setter for such a powerful team. It was no surprise to see how focused and motivated he was to be a part of something this huge at the height of his career knowing that the road to the gold medal was within their reach. No external factors could ever take his attention away from the sport that he loved more than anything else in this world.

Besides, how could girls distract him from his game when he already had you? To be fair, no one really knew about you because Tobio was yet to reveal your relationship to the public and you weren’t really keen to be in the spotlight when you’ve always preferred to date him on the low. Though, sometimes you admit that you wish people had the idea that he was already taken so that they would know their boundaries because a handsome and talented man like him would always have women trying their chances.

You didn’t consider yourself the jealous type, but it was natural to feel small and insecure when you were dating an almost-celebrity.

Were you upset? Not really. And you tried not to be irrational over things like that. However, your face must have reflected your thoughts because the said boyfriend wouldn’t stop looking at you as you both hopped inside the elevator. He was pulling your hand, possibly smiling under his face mask as he held your waist and rested his chin above your head. “What’s going through your mind?”

You adjusted your own mask before giving an answer. “Nothing,” you lied, changing the topic quickly. “I enjoyed watching the broadcast yesterday. You guys did so well.”

“Who’s the best?” he asked just so you could utter his name and inflate his ego. It had always been Kageyama’s goal to compete with Shoyo even when they were on the same team and hearing you say that he played the best among his own teammates would make him extra ‘proud’.

But for the sake of teasing him, you began to say everyone else’s name but him. “Well, I’d say Ushijima or maybe Bokuto. Hinata’s attacks were very fun to watch, too. Oh, and Atsumu!”

As expected, your boyfriend raised an eyebrow at your chosen response. “Atsumu-san keeps the bench warm and you say he played better than me?”

“That’s so mean!” you chortled, shaking your head and thinking of how Atsumu would have been so offended.

You ended up laughing it off until the elevator doors opened and you were both taking measured footsteps across the hallway before anyone could see you. Tobio was the one in charge of being on the lookout for any staff that could catch your presence within the Japan team’s floor while you were the docile deer hiding behind him as you two made your way towards his assigned room.

You were not supposed to be here. The Olympic village had very strict COVID-19 protocols that altered some traditions in the Olympics according to your boyfriend’s past experience. Athletes were encouraged to keep their masks on at all times which was mainly one of the reasons that made it easier for you to sneak inside the famous village that caused a stir on social media. Your favorite so far was the apartment-style housing that had state-of-the-art facilities, with flags from different countries hanging on their balconies to serve as an identifier for each nation who would be competing.

Tobio was aware of how much the Olympic spirit was taking over Tiktok and that he and the rest of his teammates were gaining popularity, specifically amongst women from all over the world. Even Iwaizumi Hajime, the team’s athletic trainer, could not escape the curious eyes of the online audience who shamelessly expressed how good looking he was.

But one of the most interesting controversies in this year’s Olympics were the cardboard beds.

Yes, cardboard. When you first heard about it, you thought it was strange, too. Japan was a country known for its advanced technology and impressive sustainability so you had an inkling that these cardboard frames were made for easy disposing, but Tiktok seemed to have another take on it.

“Woah.” Your eyes widened as you finally stood in front of the infamous bed, covered in a blue sheet with the words ‘2020 Tokyo Olympics’ labeled on the bottom. “So this is the famous bed, huh?”

Tobio, who had just locked the door to his room, soon removed his mask and sat at the edge of his bed. “They tested it out. Miya-san and Bokuto-san,” he shared, pulling you to sit on his lap and looping his fingers around the string on your mask, removing it from your face completely. “Did you see the videos?”

“Yeah, the one Suna posted.” You let out a silent chuckle after remembering the video where Atsumu and Bokuto were jumping on top of their bed to prove ‘the theory’ surrounding the said cardboard frames. “Is this bed really meant for you guys to… avoid intimacy? I mean, it’s not like you���re gonna hookup with another Olympian, right?”

Your boyfriend sniggered at your doubtful tone. “I sense jealousy,” he claimed, rubbing circles on your hip with his thumb. “Why would I do that when I have you?”

With a small and barely visible pout, you draped an arm around his shoulders and placed your index finger on his lower lip. “I saw those really gorgeous gymnast girls talking to you this morning.”

He inched his face closer, warm breath tickling your neck before he softly planted a kiss on your jaw. “They were just asking to take pictures, babe.”

Right. Well, you didn't really want to ponder much about it and you already felt bad that you brought it up at all. There was no room for a jealous girlfriend at a time like this and all he needed from you was to be supportive.

Although, maybe giving him a little time out from his athletic responsibilities could help lessen the pressure on his mind. A quick distraction was what he needed and besides, you ought to give him a reward for winning the game against Italy yesterday.

You would blame it on your high sex drive because you were ovulating and it had been a while since you last did anything together. Tobio had been extremely busy and today was a rare opportunity that he even managed to sneak you in, so you weren’t going to waste it by simply looking at each other’s faces. What you did was to push him back in bed, crawling on top so you could straddle his lap. “Why don’t we test if this is really an anti-sex bed?”

“Babe.” His eyes gleamed with humor, but you could see the trace of excitement behind his gaze that lingered on your collarbone down to your cleavage. You grinned at how he was trying to restrain himself so you didn’t hesitate to undo each button of your shirt with your needy boyfriend enjoying the view. “This bed can hold up to four hundred pounds. It’s not gonna break.”

You tilted your head to the side and slipped the shirt off of your body. “Hm, really?” Whether it was the afternoon heat or you were simply on fire from the sexual tension, you could see Kageyama’s chest rising and falling slowly as you leaned down to kiss his jaw. “What happens if it breaks?”

“We’ll be legendary,” he stated, gripping your thighs with large calloused hands that soon did the job at unzipping your fly. “Hinata will be back soon.”

It was 3 PM when you glanced at the time and his roommate would come back by 5 PM after watching the live match between Brazil and Argentina. You had two full hours to enjoy yourselves for the time being and you were not planning to waste every minute of it. “Then, let’s do it quickly before he returns,” you insisted as you pulled away to undress him off of his hoodie, revealing his perfectly toned upper body. “Don’t act like you haven’t been so needy for the past week. You literally sent me a dick pic last night.”

A handsome smirk settled on his face when he pulled your pants down, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. “It’s ‘cause I missed you,” he whispered on your lips before attaching it against his with a soft, open-mouthed kiss that had you wanting for more. “Mm—you’re all I think about before I sleep.”

“Naughty.” You pecked his lips and let your hands travel along his chest and shoulders. Since when did Tobio become this… huge? He was so broad and muscular despite keeping a lean physique and you were losing your mind from all the obscene images that you were forming in your head. Perhaps it wouldn’t be too bad to turn them into reality. “Lay your back on the mattress.”

“Taking full control on me now, huh?”

“Consider it a reward.”

It seemed that the cardboard frame was, in fact, sturdier than wood. You were frankly impressed at how it was able to withstand two entangled persons shifting in bed with significant pressure. Your boyfriend was already raking his fingers through his cropped raven hair, nape reclined against the headboard while you palmed the growing bulge on his sweatpants. He’s hard already, you giggled at the thought and slowly pulled the bands of his sweatpants to release his aching member from the restriction of his garment.

“Fuck, I missed this…” He closed his eyes after taking a deep breath because he seemed to enjoy how you were touching him again—how you wrapped your hand around his girth, pumping his length at a rhythm that he liked, and swirling your tongue around his pink head to remind yourself of his taste. “Suck me more.”

“Mm—patience.” You kissed his throbbing head, treating it like a lollipop with the way you teased the slit on his head by running your tongue around it. You eventually placed his cock inside your mouth after kissing every inch of his length, sated by how hard he had grown at the thought of you. His moans filled your ears, driving you to do more as you started bobbing your head to suck his shaft like a good girl. You always were. Hushed curses left his mouth to confirm just how satisfied he was with the job that you were doing until you released his cock with a pop to wipe the drool that escaped the corner of your lips. “You like it, baby?”

He nodded, looking down at you with glazed eyes. “Don’t stop.”

You kept eye-contact when you ejected spit on his throbbing head, later spreading your saliva around his length by pumping him nice and fast. “As you wish.” And with that, your own lust-filled eyes were pleased with the sight of your boyfriend throwing his head back after you put all of his cock back inside of your mouth. His tip hit your uvula with how deep you took him and you gagged at the sudden penetration on your throat, but did not stop yourself from stroking the lower half of his length and sucking his precum on the upper.

“Shit. Tighten those pretty lips for me.”

Doing as told, you continued to please him with the best blowjob you’ve ever done in your life because you gained the confidence to try and be more skillful with the way you were moving your head at a steady rhythm. At some point, he became too impatient that he was thrusting himself upward to meet your throat and you could feel the veins of his shaft as your tongue glided past them.

You should have known that dating an athlete would give you a competitive partner in bed. Tobio was already highly competitive on his own, but seeing how great you sucked his cock put him on a mission to give you the same pleasure by means of oral sex. He was quite good at it, frankly. And his goal was to remind you of who the dominant one in your relationship was—shifting you under him after you sucked his cock, now keeping you caged under his fit body so he could start doing the work. When every piece of underwear was thrown to the floor, there was not even an ounce of hesitation before he latched his mouth on your left tit. His tongue played with your nipple while his other hand kneaded your right breast, massaging and feeling the soft flesh wantonly. “T-Tobio.” Salacious moans flew off your lips. “Mm—I want you so bad.”

“Yeah?” You could feel the upward curve of his lips when he heard your desperate whines, subsequently moving his hand to spread your legs apart so he could get in between. He leaned in to envelope both of your lips for a rough kiss, allowing you to roll your tongue against his without realizing that he was concurrently cupping your pussy with his pretty, setter hands. The same genius fingers that used to touch the ball were now on your clit, doing circular motions to earn your mewls, spreading your pussy lips apart as an attempt to tease your entrance with his middle finger. Heaven or hell, Tobio was certainly a little bit of both. “Y-Yes, m-more.”

He grinned, biting your lower lip before he inserted two fingers inside of your soaking core. “Already so wet for me, needy little slut.”

His words earned your giggle. “Always…” You latched onto his arm, squeezing his bicep and arching your back as he began pumping his fingers in and out of your hole. You could feel him increasing his speed—eyes half lidded when you looked at his face, shying away as soon as he smirked at you. “B-Baby, so g-good.”

“I’m gonna ask you again,” he spoke in a low voice before planting a kiss on your lips, “who played the best?”

“You… Fuck… Mm—it’s you.” Ecstasy was coursing through your veins as your boyfriend found your most sensitive spot, curling his fingers inside your velvet walls until he crawled down to dive his face between your legs. God. The next thing you knew, he was replacing his fingers with his tongue, lapping your folds and spitting on your entrance to provide more lubrication. “T-Tobio!”

You couldn’t breathe. The gravity of your pleasure was too overwhelming and all you could do was to clamp the sheets as you mewled. Kageyama—clearly proud of his work—was looking up at you with a haughty gaze as if he had just proven that he was still excellent at making you helpless with the way he was eating you out. His warm breath tickled your core when he placed his mouth near your cunt—face on the perfect level adjacent to your genital, ready to ravage the soaking pussy that he hadn’t tasted for a few days. “Did you touch yourself while I was gone?”

“Y-Yes,” your breath hitched, “but i-it’s not as good without you.” You hoisted your hips up a little, squeezing your breasts together while throwing your head back as a rush of pleasure entered your body. He was putting more effort into rolling his tongue inside of you, tasting your juices and french kissing your pussy without a care for the wetness that surrounded his beautiful lips. The slurping sounds were making you crazy. But more than that, you wanted more. “Tobio, please… fuck me.”

A triumphant grin was soon plastered on his face. “Hm? Say that again.”

This prick’s enjoying this, you had it in mind as you looked down at him. “Please. Fuck me h-hard and fast like you always d-do.”

It was all it took for your boyfriend to kneel in bed, combing his fingers through his raven locks to give you a cocky smirk. “Can’t rawdog you today, babe,” he said before reaching towards the bedside drawer to take out a packet of condom. The same packet was soon in between his teeth, easily ripped open and discarded to the floor along with the rest of your clothes. You didn’t even realize that you closed your legs when you sat up. “Open up.”

You watched how he rolled the rubber on his big, pretty cock while you spread your legs apart to let your fingers play with your clit. “Mm. Shit, I want you so bad…”

“You’ll have me. What position do you want?”

“Can we do doggy?” Because he was blessed with a well-endowed member that filled you to the brim, you thought that it would feel best if you could experience his divine cock at a position where he could go deep.

Tobio didn’t even respond. He was already approving your request by pulling you by the arm and flipping you over so you could get in all fours. “Face down, ass up.”

You could feel how wet your vulva was when he palmed your pussy from behind, pushing you to lower your upper body while you raised your buttocks high enough to meet his pelvis. “If this bed breaks, I’m putting it on Tiktok.”

His soft chuckle bounced off the walls. “If it doesn’t break, I’ll be disappointed.” And as he said that, you weren’t aware that he was already positioning his cock on your entrance before he rammed it inside without warning. “Fuuuck!”

“Aah!” The side of your face found its comfort against the cushion. “H-Harder.”

Why do you keep on challenging this man? He was only about to do twice as much as what you asked for, stretching your hole at the deep penetration while the headboard hit the wall with each thrust. You were left whimpering from his roughness as every slam caused slapping noises from your ass to his groin. Goddamn, the friction that he was creating against your cunt was achingly good.

“A-Aah, yeah!” you cried out, gripping the cushion as you leaned forward while you were being pussy pounded from behind. Tobio’s grip on your waist was tight and he paid very little mercy at how his huge, veiny cock was entering you at an insane pace until tears started welling up your eyes. “T-Tobio!”

“Be a good girl.” His hot breath tickled your ear after he pulled you back through your arms until your body was arched into a C. He only released his grip on your arms so he could place his hand on your bum, giving it a nice slap to leave his handprint on the flesh.

So good, you were losing your mind. So fucking good. The movements of his hips were so fast and rough that you almost felt your eyes rolling at the back of your head. “Y-You’re hitting my g-spot.”

He cussed under his breath while angling his hips to penetrate your sensitive spot even more. “Good. You like it from the back?”

“I-I do.” The bed’s gonna break. You were gripping the headboard, sensing that the cardboard frame could not keep up from all the jostling. At this point, you were getting dizzy from the way he upped his speed and plowed his fat cock through your clamped walls.

“You’re clenching. Ah—fuck. You’re so fucking tight.”

Guttural moans reverberated through the room when the penetrative action sent you into a state of euphoria and you were left wondering if the people next door could hear the obscenities leaving your mouths. You were told that his ‘more energetic’ teammates were staying next door and you suddenly felt shy at the thought.

Though, that was not what made you lose your mind. It was the roughness of his thrusts that went harder, faster, and more desperate. The movements lasted for a couple of minutes while he was stretching your buttocks apart to see just how deep his cock was going in.

“T-Tobio… shit. I-I’m gonna cum!”

“Do it.”

You took deep breaths, humming in pleasure and closing your eyes to simply bask in the feeling. His nails dug onto your waist, leaving crescent marks on your flesh as he fucked your cunt at a satisfying rhythm. At this point, whimpers were coming out of your mouth while your boyfriend romanced your body for his own pleasure. His hand later traveled down to your chest to give your bust a harsh squeeze, flicking your nipple with his index finger and panting as he continued drilling his shaft into your hole.

With moans getting louder and gasps causing your mouths to part open, you disintegrated between your lover as your lower abdomen signaled your orgasm. “A-Aah!” Your legs started to shake while you clenched around his member, body twitching as he continued to pound into you through your overstimulation. You could not think straight just imagining how much you creamed around his protected cock and you were breathing through your mouth to catch the breath that you’ve lost.

After a few more minutes of thrusting and cockslamming, Tobio’s hot spurts of seed were sent straight to the rubber as his movements became sloppy and uneven, pulling out of you only to see his semen filling up the condom. “That was fucking good.”

Your whole body has become limp, but you managed to turn around and cover yourself with the sheets, watching how Kageyama stood at the side of the bed to roll the rubber off his cock. “You came so much.”

“The fuck I did.” And he was cocky about it, too. However, his confidence was only fleeting when he assessed the bed frame and could not find any fault. “It didn’t break.”

“It’s a lot stronger than we assumed.” You chuckled at the way he scrunched his nose in disappointment. “It’s okay. The manufacturer gets extra points for this.”

At least, you two were satiated after fucking like animals in heat. You couldn’t even deny how sore you still were even after a few minutes of resting time and your boyfriend distracted your thoughts when he sat at the edge of the bed to meet your lips with his. “I love you.”

“I love you. Good luck on your game tomorrow.” You wrapped your arms around his torso and rested your chin on his shoulder.

“Do you think we should—”

“Kageyamaaa!”

The high-pitched voice nearly made you jump and your panic grew when it was added by the loud banging on the door. Hinata. He was back and you were still fucking naked.

“Dumbass, don’t come in!” Tobio yelled at the door, picking your clothes up and gesturing for you to wear them while he pulled his own boxers to cover himself. He then made his way towards the door and peeked at the peephole. “Hinata, just stay put.”

“Well, are you done?” the smaller guy asked, voice laced with humor. “We heard everything. Half the team’s next door. They’re asking if you were able to break the bed.” Someone was chuckling aside from Hinata and you got the hint that another team member was outside of the door.

You froze and lost the ability to function.

Holy shit.

Even Tobio himself was releasing a series of curses, shaking his head as he turned to you. You were supposed to feel ashamed. You were supposed to be so embarrassed that you would hide your face under the sheets, but strangely, the thought of being heard by nearly the whole team seemed to have ignited a newfound excitement inside of you.

Kageyama himself could see it on your face. “Don’t tell me…”

“No,” you giggled, clasping your bra back in. “No. It’s not what you think.”

Did you really just imagine yourself surrounded by his attractive teammates?

“If you’re up for it,” he confirmed your thoughts with a playful smirk. “We can let two or more people join.”

“Tobio!”

He wasn’t too bothered, though. In fact, he was entertaining the thought with curiosity as though he had been considering it in his head for a long time. You two liked trying new things to make up for your vanilla sex life and there was little to no shame when it came to sharing your weirdest kinks to your wildest dreams.

The bed certainly did not break, but you’ve just unlocked something even more exciting than proving the stability of the cardboard bed.

But this time around, no one else on Tiktok would have to know.

“So, are you down?” he asked, leaning his back against the wall as he waited for your approval. “I don’t mind sharing you.”

Your meek smile was a confirmation in itself. “If it helps improve their game, why not?”

[tf2-simps]

I humbly request headcannons for the mercs with merc!reader (whom they have a crush on) getting a little jealous seeing reader being playful with another merc lol

I wrote this in my notes app while I was away so I don’t know if the formatting turned out okay because its mostly copy and pasted so sorru if it looks a little.. off fndmsndk😅

Playful can be taken in.several ways, so I wrote it as if reader had been just hanging out and acting extra close to someone else :)

I myself in all honesty, have some issues with insecurities and getting overly jealous so a lot of this was (once again) me projecting onto the characters fnnfnddkndsj I hope you enjoy!!

-gender neutral reader

Scout

He’s not insecure! He’s not jealous! You’re your own person you can do whatever you want

He is a little jealous but he feels guilty as hell admitting it

He would never dare speak up about his jealousy though, unless under very specific conditions to a very specific person, but you wouldn’t hear about his jealousy from himself

He goes off and leaves, tries to get his mind off of it and distract himself from the intrusive thoughts. He’s overthinkin it and can’t let his fear get the best of him

Soldier

He hardly even know what he’s feeling because when has he ever had a reason to feel jealousy? He doesn’t know how to name his emotion

Probably storms off to Medic and demands an explination and digs himself deeper into denial that Medic would dare suggests he’s jealous

He will sulk. He’ll deny it but he doesn’t hide it. You have friends and he has friends he shouldn’t worry about what you do with those friends!

He either disapears off the face of the Earth or he throws himself into whatever you and the other merc are doing. He hardly knows what he’s feeling, you really think he knows how to handle it?

Pyro

Pyro feels and wants to do everything completely irrational and that you shouldn’t do when you are jealous and just barely stops from doing it

Pyro wants whats best for you and its not like you two are kissing so Pyro tries to suck it up. Pyro will completely play it off and will ask some engaging questions like “what did yall do? How did it go?”

Pyro has to ask Engineer to physically restrain Pyro for the sake of everything not going up in flames

Pyro is about to have a villain arc at this point. Guilt and jealousy? Thats like the perfect emotions to have a villain arc. Pyro will only bring it up once or twice and then never speaks of it again

Demoman

Probably the most reasonable out of how he acts on the jealousy. He gives you two space and tries not to stalk yall and wait for something bad to happen. You two are just friends anyways..

Depends on what extent it goes to it might actually throw him into his breaking point and he confesses his feelings for you

He wants to better himself. He doesn’t know how to do it but he wants to tame his feelings for the sake of being a proper friend and hopefully romantic partner to you

He will never bring it up with you because he doesn’t want you to feel bad for something you didn’t cause, but he does confide in his other buddies to help him out a bit

Heavy

Heavy actually surprises himself with this! Jealousy and/or envy is not something he is used to really ever feeling so he is unsure how to name what he is feeling

When he first realizes what it is he immediately digs into himself to try and figure out what is causing it and tries to shut it down as quickly as he can

He doesn’t know exactly how to handle it, but sometimes some thoughts aren’t worth putting any meaning behind so he goes to do something else to take his mind off of his concern

He will probably subtly ask you if you have any romantic feelings for anyone and if you say that you do he will be a bit curious about who, but he won’t pry on it too long

Engineer

Yikkessss.. when he feels the jealousy he makes an audible complaint about it. Not really words but just a bit of a grumble

He has a lot more trouble getting his mind off of it. He will go and tinker with his machines and play on his guitar, but it takes something that really requires all his focus to distract him

When he goes around you he feels a twinge upset and hides it fairly well, too

It takes him a while to get over it in all honesty. Its not easy or a quick process for him. He wont ever bring it up unless you two become a romantic relationship

Medic

He considers..many options before coming to a more reasonable conclusion

He doesnt want to hurt you and he supppooosseeessss he doesnt want to hurt someone you care about and if you REALLYY care about this person then it can probbbaly slide

He pulls away from you and gets super invested into his work. If you come into his lab during the process you’ll probably catch him trying to recreate frankinstieins monster

He tries running from his emotions and pretending like he feels nothing. He might grow a bit distant for a moment and this might happen a few times before he realizes he needs to get some better coping ideas

Sniper

Reacts just about any other way when he feels emotions, like they weren’t even there to begin with

He doesn’t want to let his emotions get involved in his work, he wants to keep those two seperate things and since its here at work, he feels nothing about it

He stuffs his feelings down with a cork and just completely neglect it. It either unravels and he gets overwhelmed with so many other emotions and is let out in a meltdown or a private break down catches up to him

Don’t directly confront him if you notice it. If you directly confront him about it he dashes right for the nearest exit whether its a door or window. If you want him to get it out you’re gonna have to have someone else approach him

Spy

Him? Jealous? What does he have to be jealous about? He has everything that you could want and its not like you’re going to find someone that has something better that he could not give you! ..right?

Fake it till you make it. He is never going to show anything to anyone and good luck ever even hearing about it. Most noticeable thing he will do is an eye twitch and thats it

He has some pritate pep-talks with himself and he does all the tricks in the book he knows but he forgets that he actually needs time to let his emotions exist and process

He slightly looses his mind over it and beats himself up over it a little bit and it starts to drive him up a wall. Surprisingly he actually takes the longest to get over it so careful when you two do get into a romantic relationship. Last thing he wants to do is be hurtful or controlling towards you but it eats him up inside

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, ESTJ here. I generally prefer to go by facts and same applies to conversation. But I also get vibe or hunch about any situation. I will try to explain, sometimes, people say 1 thing on face but you know in background something else going on which they dont say. I feel I sense these things with significant accuracy.

For example, I was working with one INFP and we had good work relationship. However, he got to know that i have good work relationship with other teammates as well and somewhere same time things started going difficult between both of us. He started being extra critical of my work and even if it is small independent incidences, I could sense some common theme behind and came to conclusion that he is angry with me for some specific thing and instead of telling me directly, he is taking out like this. I also thought that is he jealous of my connection with other teammates but I dismissed that idea because this is purely work relation where this jealously is not really applicable.

Now , after I got to know about MBTI, I types him as INFP and got to read that INFP tend to get jealous like this even if this connection is not romantic. Question is, is this correct characteristic of INFP about possession or jealousy?

Another thing, can ESTJ who has low N function can have vibes like this or it is something else? As I am not confident about this vibes/ guess, I never act on them on time. I always let it go and connect the dots later just to find out I was rite. Can you please share your thoughts? Thanks in advance!

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1) Jealousy is a universal emotion, so it isn't unique to any particular type. Different types may suffer jealousy for different reasons. Various reasons may include: insecure attachment style, greed, possessiveness, fear of loss, trust issues, unresolved past relationship trauma, misguided loyalty, etc.

2) Every type has an N function in the stack, so everyone is capable of using intuition, but not every individual uses it equally well, depending on their degree of function development. Even N dominants can be bad at using intuition when they are not in a healthy psychological state.

Unless you are N dominant, your use of intuition will be hit-or-miss, with more misses than hits. People with tertiary N often believe that their intuition is better than it actually is. Why? Tertiary loop is one reason. Another reason is that they have poor awareness of intuition in general, so they only notice the few instances when their intuition was correct (because it boosts the ego) and overlook the many other instances when their intuition was very wrong (because it hurts the ego). Even N dominants can fall prey to this selective evidence gathering when their N development hasn't progressed very well.

Intuition is probably the more difficult of the four cognitive processes to develop, just based on my observations of development issues. It is an irrational cognitive process: difficult to define, difficult to explain, difficult to observe in action, and difficult to be fully aware of its operational mechanisms. On average, Fs generally have a better time than Ts because intuition often gets intertwined with feelings and enters awareness through the emotional pathways of the mind.

To be N dominant is to use intuition automatically, applying it to everything without much effort - it is second nature, like breathing. For non N dominants, intuition is of less importance and therefore applied more sparingly, mostly limited to situations that fall within the dominant function's interests and concerns.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

NSFW Headcanons~ Eddie Birdlace

(My gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- Eddie’s had quite a bit of experience but not in the way you’d expect. He’s slept with women before but none of; or at least very few of them, have done it for free; if you’re catching my drift. So while he does know what he’s doing when it comes to sex, he’s a bit inexperienced when it comes to the feelings that are usually involved. 

- Eddie likes oral just as much as the next guy but when it comes to you, he definitely prefers giving rather than receiving. He’ll sometimes have flashbacks to the deals he’d strike with his buddies and a “working girl” and be filled with a weird, somewhat irrational guilt which makes him occasionally; subtly, turn down a blowjob. 

- While that reasoning may not seem the most romantic, I’ll assure you that he does just genuinely enjoy going down on you; even if he’s not the most experienced with it. He takes the time to learn and grows to love hearing the noises you make and the way your fingers grip his hair or the way your thighs squeeze around his head. 

- Foreplay is sort of a new experience for him but he likes it. He enjoys being able to take his time and enjoy your company, admiring your body and lovingly making sure you’re ready for him. 

- He’s endearingly nervous and awkward when it comes to you; at least during your first few times together, but there’s always an undeniable, deep yearning between the two of you. You can see that he’s unsure of his next move but it still sends a wave of heat through you every time he comes near. 

- If it had to be decided, then he would be the dom in your relationship but there really aren’t any roles when the two of you have sex. You just do what feels right. 

- He usually takes things slow when you’re sleeping together. He’s used to being forced into the smartass, macho marine role, but with you, he doesn’t have to be like that. He can enjoy just being himself and being with you and showing you how much he genuinely cares for you. 

- The two of you will oftentimes make love rather than just fuck. Sometimes, things might be more sweet and playful but it’s always loving and it’s hardly ever rough in any way.

- The only time that he would be somewhat rough is when he’s jealous and even then, he’s not nearly as rough as you’d imagine. He tends to just move a lot quicker and maybe have a tight grip on some part of you, or pin your wrists by the sides of your head. 

- Although, he occasionally likes to move fast just to hear you laugh or squeal. It never fails to make him smile/laugh as well. 

- Like I said before: you’ll occasionally get a bit more playful. There’ll be a lot more giggling/smiling and you’ll roll around the bed and tease each other more. It’s in those moments that he thinks to himself about how happy he is with you and how he’s finally found “his girl”.

- The two of you usually do it in missionary position. He’s not all that impressed with crazy positions, he’d much rather be able to see your face and have the two of you be comfortable and close. 

- Cuddling sex where your arms are wrapped around each other and your leg is hitched over his. He’ll hold you by the waist, hip or thigh and slowly drive his hips into yours, liking the way your nails dig into his back when he begins to move. 

- He’s pretty vanilla. He sort of just enjoys sweet, normal sex with you.

- He doesn’t really have a choking kink but he does have a thing for keeping his hand wrapped around your throat, he just doesn't squeeze.

- His stroke game? On point. He knows exactly how and where to move to make you quiver around him.

- Kisses pressed all across your face. Your forehead, eyelids, ear, nose, side of the mouth, etc. You don’t think there’s a place on your face that his lips haven’t touched. 

- His forehead pressed against yours. After he’s finished sponging kisses across your whole face, he’ll lean down and connect your foreheads, closing his eyes and basking in the moment.

- Things are generally pretty quiet between the two of you. Neither of you make a lot of noise besides the occasional soft moan or short check ins/praises. 

- He likes being able to show you that you don’t have to be insecure and insisting that he loves and thinks every part of you is beautiful. 

- He’s all about consent, even when you’re already in a relationship and its obvious that he would have it. He always slows or stops when he doesn't think you’re into it, asking if you’re alright or if you want him to do something else. 

- He’s always eager to make you feel good so he’ll always respond to the noises or faces that you make. The moment he hears you moan; or moan particularly loud, he’ll glance back at your face and repeat the action, looking closely at the way your expression changes.

- Long, intimate reunions. The two of you can spend whole nights “together” when you haven’t seen each other for a while. 

- After the war, he might have a bit of trouble with his leg so the positions you normally use might change. He’d probably try to do things like normal but buckle awkwardly and throw himself down beside you in a huff. Then you’d shyly climb on top of him, assuring him its alright and distracting him with kisses while you “take care of everything”.

- He’s average sized: not too big, not too small. 

- He always carries a condom or two in his wallet so you’ll never have to worry; even though you usually only do it in your/his bedroom where there should be at least a few lying around. 

- He never thought he’d enjoy aftercare as much as he does when he’s with you. Regardless, he’ll go grab you some water without you even having to ask before tugging on his boxers and crawling back into bed with you. He’ll hug you close and the two of you will sometimes talk a bit before you fall asleep wrapped up in each others arms. 

[casuallyimagining]

Jealousy Headcanons - OT7

Anonymous asked: Hello! Could you please do a jealousy headcanon for yoongi? Thank you!!

I’ll do you one better, anon. I’ll do jealousy headcanons for all of them. This strayed from headcanons into reactions/preferences very quickly, so if you’d prefer I write some dedicated headcanons, I’ll gladly do that.. (also I’ve combined it with an idea I’ve been tossing around in my head for the past day or so. I’m sorry if Taehyung’s isn’t good—I know the least about him.) Hope you enjoy!!

Jin

He knew you were friends with his bandmates, but he couldn’t help but think you were a little closer with Hobi than the rest.

He hated to admit that his stomach would drop when you laughed at one of Hobi’s bad jokes. He hated that it made him angry when you would go to Hobi with a problem and not him. He wanted to be happy that you were such good friends with one of his closest friends, but every time Jin sees the two of you together, he just ends up upset.

It comes to a head when Jin is walking down the hall one day at the dance studio and hears you laughing. He hears Hobi mumble “Worldwide Handsome” as Jin enters the room and you burst into a fit of giggles, and it makes his blood boil.

As much as he wants to yell and scream at Hobi—at you—not for making fun of him, but to make fun of him to his own girlfriend, and then to hear her laugh at Hobi in a way that she doesn’t laugh with Jin… he wants to badly to fly off the handle.

But at the same time, the rational part of his brain won’t let him. He loves you too much to let something like this get in the way of your relationship. He knows Hobi too well to know the joke was only in good fun, and he knows you too well to know that you would never laugh if it was mean-spirited. Jin doesn’t know if that makes it sting more or less.

So instead of yelling, he spins on his heel and walks right back out the door of the dance studio. He hears Hobi call his name, but he’s too far down the hall to care. He doesn’t hear the door latch, though, and the soft footsteps behind him alert him to the fact that he’s being followed.

The only reason you were even at the dance studio that day was because Jin had asked you out to dinner that evening, and while they were a little late finishing up, the two of you could still get takeout from your favorite spot on the way back to your apartment.

So Jin isn’t surprised that you catch up to him by the elevator, your hand slipping into his as easily as if it were meant to be there. You quirk an eyebrow at him silently, and he hangs his head.

“I’m sorry, jagi,” he mumbles, his thumb ghosting along your knuckles as you wait for the elevator. “He just knows how to push my buttons. Even when I’m not there.”

You hum in response, squeezing his hand. “You don’t have to be jealous of him, you know. I love Hobi, but I’m in love with you, Jin.”

The elevator comes then, and he’s glad that pressing the button gives him an excuse to turn away from you so you can’t see the blush or the shit-eating grin that’s plastered on his face.

Yoongi

Yoongi feels like a third wheel when the two of you hang out with Namjoon. You and the Bangtan leader always end up talking poetry, or books, or film, or music in such an intellectual way that Yoongi ends up not being able to follow. So he always ends up sitting silently at the restaurant or in the living room as one of his closest friends monopolizes his girlfriend.

He hates the way you hang on Namjoon’s every word, hates the way that you nod in thought, your eyes focused solely on Namjoon as he says something that Yoongi can only assume is the most brilliant thing in the world.

Yoongi loves Namjoon, thinks of him like a brother, but sometimes he really, really wants to just tell the guy to shut the fuck up.

He finally builds up the courage to tell Namjoon off when the Bangtan leader’s phone rings and he gets up to answer it, leaving you and Yoongi alone in the shared living room of the BTS dorms.

“What do you think of the movie so far, Yoongi?” you question, turning your whole body to face him. You reach out and pull him closer so your legs are touching as you sit on the couch.

It’s then that he realizes that he can’t stay mad at you, not really. Namjoon is charismatic, and you’re friends, and Yoongi wants nothing more than to see you happy. And if that means putting up with you not paying attention to him when Namjoon is around, then so be it.

“I’d like to be able to hear it,” Yoongi jokes, pushing your shoulder lightly and giving you a wide smile. You laugh and promise that you’ll shut up so he can enjoy the rest of the movie.

You turn back to the screen after that, the remote in your hands waiting for Namjoon to return so you can press ‘play.’ Your back rests against Yoongi’s chest, and he slings an arm around your waist to pull you tighter to him.

“You know it’s harmless, right? Me talking with Namjoon?” Yoongi hums in response, but he can feel his face heating up, having been caught. “I really respect his analyses and knowledge. But he’s just a friend.”

Yoongi rests his chin on your shoulder just as Namjoon walks back into the room. You press play on the movie, and true to your promise, you don’t talk nearly as much with Namjoon as the rest of the film plays out.

Yoongi can’t help but smile when you take his hand and lace your fingers together. You might enjoy talking to Namjoon about intellectual stuff, but it’s the love you show Yoongi in the silence that makes him feel like he’s enough.

Hoseok

It was hard for Hoseok to watch you shamelessly flirt with Jin. He knows that’s just your personality—you’re friendly and affectionate with your close friends—it’s part of the reason he fell for you.

But holy shit, watching you and Jin cook together, watching the two of you come up with cheeky dance moves and sing along to the songs blasting through your phone, it really gets to him.

Hoseok is the jokester of the group, and normally, he’d come up behind you and make some sort of wisecrack, but today, he’s not particularly into it. He just feels sad.

Sad that you’re paying more attention to Jin than you are to him. Sad that you hadn’t even noticed him walk through the door. Sad that there’s a hole in your life that Jin seems to fit perfectly into.

He knows that you’re just friends. Hoseok knows that you love him, not Jin. He trusts you to remain faithful. But a small part of him is insecure in your relationship still. And it screams at him that maybe the two of you aren’t on the same page when it comes to how your relationship is developing.

But then you finally notice that he’s home, and your eyes light up in that way that they only do when you lay eyes on him. And Hoseok can’t help the goofy grin that spreads across his face.

“Jagiya! You have to come try this,” you call, waving him into the kitchen. “Jin was just showing me how to make this and I think you’d love it.”

You grab something out of the pot with a pair of chopsticks and offer it to him, your hand under it so it doesn’t drip. He hums in response. Whatever it was, you were right. It was good.

You smile and wipe a bit of sauce off his face with your thumb, and just like that, his insecurities are gone.

Namjoon

Namjoon knows he shouldn’t feel like this. He knows that the strangling sensation in his heart is just irrational jealousy. He knows that however close your friendship with Jungkook becomes, you would never leave him. But does he?

He walks in late one night after a long meeting with Big Hit and an even longer rehearsal with Hobi and Jimin to find you and Jungkook curled up on the couch fast asleep. Jungkook has his head in your lap, and one of your hands is in his hair, the other resting between his shoulder blades. Your laptop is plugged in and sitting open on the coffee table in front of you. Watching a movie, he surmises.

Namjoon can’t help the exasperated sigh he lets out, can’t help rolling his eyes in frustration. It’s times like this when the youngest Bangtan’s pretty face really gets under Namjoon’s skin.

Silently, Namjoon sets his jaw and goes about his nightly routine, washing his face and changing into his pajamas before deciding what to do about you and Jungkook on the couch.

He appreciates your friendship with Jungkook, truly, he does. But it’s nights like this—when he finds the two of you being overly affectionate, or when you seem to confide in Jungkook more than you do him, or when the two of you feed off each other’s competitiveness and end up in some ridiculous competition that only adds fuel to your friendship—nights like this where his insecurities seep through and he doubts himself.

He can’t bring himself to blame you for this. You’re far too amazing, and he knows that you care about him deeply. No, he tends more to reflect inwards when he feels like this, because he knows it’s his problem to sort out. If he caught you asleep on the couch with any other member of the group, Namjoon didn’t think he’d feel nearly as jealous. So what was it about Jungkook, then?

Of course, Jungkook is kind. And he’s energetic. And your personalities match in ways that Namjoon had never thought possible. It didn’t hurt that Jungkook was handsome. And there it is, Namjoon thinks as he steps back into the living room to check on the two of you. That old insecurity flaring its head again.

He considers leaving the two of you on the couch for the rest of the night. It’s late, and he really doesn’t want to wake either of you if you’re truly resting. But then he sees the odd angle that your head is resting at, and he takes pity on you. So ever so gently, he shakes your shoulder.

It doesn’t take long for you to wake up, stretching when you do. Namjoon hears your shoulder pop, and you rub it, a scowl on your face. Then, you see him, and you shoot him a tired grin, your eyes lighting up,

“Hey handsome,” you whisper, making grabby hands at him, beckoning him closer. Namjoon smiles, and he knows that he would believe anything you said, so long as you say it with as much conviction as you just spoke with. He believes you when you kiss him, soft and tender and full of love. He believes you when you chuckle softly at Jungkook snoring softly in your lap, the look on your face saying everything he needed it to. And he believes you when you tell him that you cleared your schedule for his next day off, promising to devote yourself solely to him.

Sure, he might have to deal with feeling jealous of Jungkook every once in a while, but he wouldn’t give you up for the world.

Jimin

Jimin prides himself on keeping a cool head when it comes to you. The two of you have never seriously argued before—he likes to think that he’s good at communicating his needs.

Except for one: your friendship with Taehyung can be a bit much. Jimin knows he should be grateful—he and Tae are close, so it should be a blessing that you fit right into the fold. But he just couldn’t help it.

He gets frustrated that Tae knows your go-to order at coffee shops by heart, and that he always gets food to share with you when he orders out. Jimin knows he shouldn’t get frustrated by that—Tae knows his orders, too—but for whatever reason, it just gets under his skin. Especially when you shoot Tae a smile, or you ruffle his hair.

That is, until one day when Tae, Jimin, and you are hanging out one afternoon and Tae offers to buy dinner that night. You smile warmly at Tae and ruffle his hair, and for a moment, Jimin’s heart sinks again. But then he hears you hum in response.

His heart soars when you cheerfully decline. “Jiminie and I were going to hang out tonight. Next time for sure, though.”

Tae accepts it with a laugh, and a joke about how the two of you are lovebirds, but Jimin doesn’t pay attention. His heart is pounding in in his ears, and he can feel his face flush. He can’t help it—he’s just so happy to hear you choose him.

Taehyung

Tae hates how you and Jimin connect on what seems like the molecular level. The two of you can carry on a conversation about literally anything. Fashion, pop culture, the universe. You and Jimin could talk at length about anything.

When you hang out with Tae, though, the two of you end up sitting in silence. Where you and Jimin could watch a movie and talk the whole time about your favorite characters or what you think will happen next, you and Tae watch in silence, only making comments to each other once in a while.

He knows that Jimin is his best friend, and that he would never intentionally do anything to hurt him. But there are only so many play arguments and deep, meaningful conversations Tae can walk in on before it starts to affect him.

He knows deep down that you love him, and he knows you wouldn’t leave him, especially for Jimin—he knows in his heart that you aren’t actually in love with him, despite his insecurities—but he just loves you so much, and the amount of attention you pay to Jimin makes him feel like he doesn’t make enough of an effort to connect with you.

You tend to notice when Tae is feeling jealous. He doesn’t particularly try to hide it. So when you notice him start to draw into himself, when he starts to get tenser around Jimin, you make sure to pay him extra attention.

Tae never talks about his jealousy, and you don’t want to push him, so you don’t bring it up. You know that someday, you’ll have to address it, but for now, you’re happy to dote on your grumpy boyfriend when he’s feeling this way.

Jungkook

Jungkook’s competitive side doesn’t really play well with his jealousy. He can’t help but see you hanging out with Yoongi as a challenge for him to be a better boyfriend.

He notices that you spend a lot of time with Yoongi, especially when the days are long and hard and when Jungkook can’t spend much time with you. He notices the quiet conversations the two of you share over coffee in the mornings, and the silent looks the two of you send each other before busting out into smiles and giggles.

Jungkook likes to see you happy, but it stings a lot that he isn’t the one making you smile.

When you’re hanging out with Yoongi, he does everything in his power to try to pull your attention away. And yeah, Jungkook knows he’s probably being annoying, but he rarely gets your undivided attention. It upsets him that you try to push him away to continue to pay attention to Yoongi.

You confront him about it one morning after Jungkook successfully manages to chase Yoongi from the shared living room of the dorms. Your ‘what’s your problem?’ is venomous, and Jungkook can’t help but feel like a child being scolded.

He’s silent for a long while, and you let him be. He tries to speak several times, but no matter what he wants to say, it isn’t the right thing. He knows he can be an ass, but he just wants you to love him.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity of silence, you silently wrap your arms around him, and you can feel all of the tension in Jungkook’s body disappear. “You don’t have to be jealous of Yoongi,” you mumble into his chest. “He’s just a friend. Sometimes, we both need quiet, y’know?”

And he does know. He knows how sometimes, crowds exhaust you. He can only imagine how the band’s whirlwind schedule affects you.

You kiss him gently then, cupping his cheek in your hands and playfully squishing his cheeks together. “Not all of us can be an endless source of energy, my love.”

He smiles, your hands still pressing his cheeks together, and you can’t help but crack up at the sight. He promises himself then that no matter what, he’ll do better at hiding his jealousy. You love him. That’s what matters most.

[wave0fg00dvibes]

Sparks - Spencer Reid x Reader

Request: Could you do a spencer Reid x SSA fem!reader where you guys are on a case and he sees the cops flirting with you and gets jealous and reveals his feelings?

A/N: WOW I’m really sorry this was out so much later than I predicted. Life is hard sometimes, y’all! My stressors are gone now so hopefully I’ll be cranking out a whole lot more of these. 

Also, I never understood how writers could just start a story they thought would be short and end up with 6K words. Now I know! Whoops.

Please leave feedback if you have any! Lots and lots and LOTS of love, as always. 

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Your favorite part of any given case was closing it.

There was no rush or relief quite like the feeling of taking someone dangerous off the streets. No sensation could match handcuffing an unsub and watching officers escort them to police cars, never to wreak havoc again. Those days were undoubtedly the best part of being a profiler at the BAU. Those beautiful days took away the pain and anguish you so often faced as an agent, even if only momentarily.

Today was one of those days.

The resolution of this case provided the small town a chance to take a deep breath of relief. The killer was locked away, there were minimal casualties, and several hostages had been rescued and reunited with their families. All in all, it was a success.

Normally the team would fly back to Virginia right away, but a large, dangerous, looming electrical storm prevented a safe flight. Hotch made the executive decision to stay another night at the motel, and no one complained. After all, this case had been exhausting and draining for all of you.

It wasn’t until Morgan suggested a trip to the bar next door that the night got interesting.

Classic.

So, there you and Emily were, taking a trek across the street in the pouring rain, clutching your shared umbrella as if your lives depended on it.

“You know; I think I might be getting too old for this.” Emily nearly yelled over the roar of the weather. You laughed.

“Never! Who would be my off-duty partner in crime if not you?”

She shook her head and smiled at you. Strands of lightning lit up the sky and reflected in the many puddles at your feet. As beautiful as it was, you were not particularly comfortable holding a large piece of metal in a barren landscape during an electrical storm. As soon as the next inevitable clap of thunder shook the earth, both of you silently agreed to walk even faster to get to the bar and out of the rain.

“All I’m saying is you’d better start looking for my replacement.” Emily fired back, clutching the umbrella even harder as the wind blew the raindrops straight into your faces.

“As if I could ever replace the best wing woman I’ve ever had.” You shouted back to her. At that, Emily laughed out loud.

“Wing woman? Yeah, right.”

You didn’t have time to question her cheeky comment before the two of you finally reached the door to the bar. Emily immediately sighed in relief and you chuckled, stepping inside to relish in the warmth and shelter from the aggressive storm. Both of you stood in the doorway and took off your rain jackets, thankful to be dry and safe again.

“So, you’re telling me that if I found you someone at this bar…” Emily started to tease you, elbowing your ribs in jest. However, her eyes held an underlying mystery that frightened you. It was as if she was looking directly into your heart, reading your every move, discovering your deepest secrets.

Emily was one of your closest friends, but there was one secret in your heart that you could barely admit to yourself, much less another person. That was not something you wanted to dive into at the moment. It had been such a good day. There was no need to tarnish it with rambling thoughts and uncomfortable feelings.

Did that secret involve romantic feelings for a team member? Maybe.

She couldn’t know. There was no possible way she could know.

“I mean… I don’t know.” You bashfully tripped over your words, knowing she was kidding, but not doubting her willingness to embarrass you.

“Really? A gorgeous, smart, single woman like you, not wanting to find any company?” You blushed at the compliments, but shook your head in denial.

“Nice try, but I am perfectly happy being all alone.” You playfully nudged her shoulder. She let out a big laugh, hooking your arm in hers and starting to head toward the rest of the team at the back of the bar.

“Oh, come on. Don’t feed me that. We all know about you and Reid.” She subtly whispered in your ear.

And there it was.

She knew. Of course she knew. You felt your face begin to drain its color.

“We…” you attempted to launch into your heavily used “just friends” speech, but Emily put a finger up to your lips.

“Don’t even try that excuse with me. Just, don’t. Your self-appointed wing woman knows better.” She smirked and gave you a wink before releasing your arm and taking a seat between Morgan and JJ.

Rolling your eyes at her, you sat down in the only remaining seat, conveniently next to none other than Dr. Spencer Reid. You glared at Emily and she wiggled her eyebrows at you, fully aware of what she had done.

Oh boy. This was going to be a long night.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be around him. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Plopping down next to Spencer was the most comforting thing you had done all day. Though he was deep in conversation with Morgan, he grabbed one of the drinks in front of him and handed it to you without looking. You smiled, taking the glass as you watched his face contort while arguing with his friend. This was undoubtedly a conversation you did not want to interrupt.

You took a sip from the glass, and your heart skipped a beat. He had ordered you your favorite drink without even asking if you were in the mood.

Then again, he’s a professional profiler and one of your closest friends. Of course he knew you needed it.

That’s the whole problem, though. Why fix something that isn’t broken? Why go out on a limb for something that could destroy an already perfect relationship, both personally and professionally? The costs outweighed the benefits in every single sense. It just wasn’t worth it.

But all the rationality in the world couldn’t stop your heart from longing for the fairy tale.

“Hey!” Spencer’s soft, warm voice cut through all of the noise and broke you right out of your thoughts. He had turned to face you, cheeks slightly tinted red, probably from the heat of the bar and the alcohol. His ever-shining smile lit up his face. You couldn’t help but return it.

As always, you were amazed at how one shared moment with him could make every insecurity and anxious thought feel so small.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked, the furrow in his brow reflecting his genuine concern.

“Oh, yeah! Just a couple of bumps and bruises. Nothing too serious.” You assured him.

Earlier that day you had been shot by the unsub. Thankfully, all of the bullets hit your vest and not your unprotected body. It wasn’t the first time you had been in a shooting match with a perpetrator, but for some reason this one had really rattled you.

He nodded, taking another sip of his drink before proceeding.

“I looked at your vest. If that last bullet had been just 2 centimeters to the left, it could’ve dissected your subclavian artery, and that could’ve been deadly. Arterial rupture can cause life-threatening hemorrhages, pseudoaneurysm formation, and compression of brachial plexus.” His eyes lit up with excitement as he continued to talk about your circulatory luck of the day, blissfully unaware of how intensely it had scared you.

That was one of your very favorite things about him. He took any moment, any situation, any scare, and turned it into a statistic. He put all your irrational fears into rational numbers and ideologies. No matter what happened to you, or anyone on your team, he was right there to make sure you all knew you weren’t alone, even if that meant spouting off facts about arterial dissection in a bar at midnight.

This man was something else.

“Hey, pretty boy!” This time the voice breaking you out of your thoughts was Morgan’s. Spencer’s many statistics halted abruptly as he turned to face the summoning voice.

“What ever happened to that lovely lady you were going to ask out for coffee last week?”

His body immediately tensed next to you. Your stupid, irrational, unforgiving heart dropped into your stomach.

“Um, I mean… I didn’t end up asking her.” His answer was surprisingly short. You had never seen Spencer so flustered and lost for words. You looked up at Emily and saw the delicate look of annoyance in her eyes.

“It’s really hard to date in this line of work…” Emily attempted to defend his decision, JJ nodding and offering noises of agreeance while taking sips of her drink, but Morgan cut them off to press him further.

“Oh come on Reid, you haven’t shut up about her for months!”

“Yes, thank you Emily.” Spencer replied, letting some of the tension go. “I’m not sure I want to take any of my focus away from this job right now.”

“Oh whatever…” Morgan started, but before he could go any further you saw Emily subtly kick him under the table.

She looked up at you, eyes faintly conveying her apologies and intent to knock some sense into the oblivious man. He gave her a confused look, but immediately dropped the subject after meeting her fiery gaze.

“Anyway… are you seeing anyone?” This time Morgan’s question was directed at you.

Nope. Not happening. Where was the alcohol?

“On that note, I’m going to go get a drink. Anyone want anything?” You asked, grabbing your glass and standing up quickly.

Before they could answer, you were on your way to the bar. The first drink was strong, but not strong enough to numb the stupid, unreasonable pain and excruciating awkwardness of what had just happened.

“I’ll have another of these, please.” You asked the bartender, sitting at one of the chairs to help calm your shaking knees.

Breathe.

There was literally no reason for you to be upset. He was allowed to see people. Both of you were single, for crying out loud! There was nothing you were willing to do to make the fairy tale in your head a reality, so why was this weighing on you so heavily?

Breathe. For the love of everything, breathe.

He deserved every happiness in the world, and more. There was no reason for you to be so self-centered and deny him that. Who’s to say he even thought of you as anything more than a colleague anyway?

“Agent?” You slightly jumped and turned to face the familiar voice, recognizing the man sitting next to you instantly.

“Sergeant Jones. Hi.” You presented the best smile you could muster in the moment at the sight of one of the local deputies.

“Please, call me Michael. It’s so nice to see you outside of the unfortunate situations our jobs bring.” His smile was warm, and the hand he reached out to shake was soft.

“It’s nice to see you too, Michael.” You smiled, angling yourself to face him more directly.

Breathe. Distractions are good, especially when they are this handsome. Breathe.

His short blonde hair was combed perfectly, and his blue flannel shirt subtly brought out his eyes. No wedding ring. You could feel your heart ever so slowly begin to rise at the prospect of feeling valued, wanted, especially by a handsome stranger. 

Did it take your mind off Spencer? No. 

Could anything at this point? Who knows.

“Are you okay?” He asked, the true concern evident in his pretty blue eyes.

No, Michael. You seem wonderful but this is the worst timing.

“Yeah! Yeah, it’s just been a long day.” You lied straight through your teeth like a pro. However, you were captivated by his seemingly genuine integrity.

“You can say that again.” He chuckled. “This town hasn’t seen action like this in the last century, at least.”

Spencer could probably pinpoint the exact date of the last time this tiny town had a historic day like this…

NOPE. Breathe.

“How often does your team handle cases like these?” Michael’s deep voice snapped you out of your racing thoughts.

Okay, this was good. You were good at talking about work. It was basically your whole life.

“Well, we mostly handle serial killer cases. Sometimes abductions, things of that nature.”

Michael was a good listener, and the way his body angled toward yours indicated he actually enjoyed listening to you talk about your gruesome job.

“Cases involving children are the hardest for me, but it’s different for everyone.” You added.

“Yeah, I understand. I know our jobs are of different caliber, but I struggle with those too.”

You were enamored with Michael’s honesty and emotional depth in your short conversation. Compassionate, good at listening, and handsome? The other shoe was sure to drop soon…

The bartender set your drink down in front of you, but before you could pay her Michael handed her some cash.

“Oh no…” You started to argue.

“Please, I insist. It’s been a hard day for all of us.” Michael softly smiled at you. You smiled back, immediately taking a big gulp of the strong drink. Bring on the numbness.

“So, do you have any kids?” His surprising question caused you to choke and begin coughing profusely. He immediately looked alarmed, placing a hand on your arm to steady you.

“I’m so sorry, I just meant because those cases affect you so much… I didn’t mean…”

“No! No, it's okay!” You choked out between coughs. Could this night get any more awkward? You took a deep breath and drink of water before continuing, noticing his strong, soft hand was still on your arm.

“No, I don’t have any kids yet. It’s hard to find time to date in this line of work.”

“Cheers to that.” He smiled, lifting his drink to tap yours.

Feeling the alcohol start to kick in, you closed your eyes and smiled. Finally.

“Hey, I never got a chance to thank you for what you did today.” You opened your eyes to meet his, slightly confused as to what he meant, but he continued. “You jumped in front of one of my men and took those bullets.”

Ah, transference. He’s only interested because he thinks you’re a hero.

“Oh, that’s just part of the job.” You brushed it off.

“No. That was true bravery and sacrifice.” Michael turned completely toward you. “I don’t know many people who would’ve done that. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

...or maybe he’s just incredibly kind?

“Of course.” You laid your free hand on top of his. Thankful for the recognition, but far more thankful that no one had been harmed that day.

“Man if you didn’t have to leave, I would absolutely be asking you on a date right now.” Michael’s undying honesty once again caught you by surprise.

“You’re just saying that because I took a successful risk today.”

“No, I’m saying it because in the last five minutes I’ve realized that you’re smart, along with brave and clearly beautiful.”

All you could do was smile and squeeze Michael’s hand, for though the flattery was lovely, both of you knew full well that was all it could be.

Out of nowhere, you felt the air tense. Michael looked past you in confusion, and all at once you knew who was there. You could feel Spencer’s presence before he spoke a single word. Somehow you could tell he had been there for a short while, and could feel the inevitable speech coming.

“Actually that’s called transference, which happens when material from our unconscious mind is propelled into our conscious mind as we try to deal with the usually painful psychological trauma that we are experiencing. The brain unconsciously re-surfaces and re-enacts conflict-ridden experiences as if the past were the present and one setting were another. We transfer thoughts, feelings, and attitudes, especially about people who resemble others. We assign them roles once played by others. We take on old roles ourselves. All unconsciously.”

Both you and Michael were stunned into silence, staring at Spencer as if he were from another planet.

What the hell was he doing?

You sighed, giving up any hope for a single shred of happiness to come from this night.

“Michael, you remember Dr. Reid.”

“Of course, good to see you again.” Michael nodded toward Spencer, which he awkwardly returned.

“Sorry to interrupt. I came over to see if you were alright after that coughing spell and couldn’t help but overhear…”

“It’s fine, Spencer.” You coolly cut him off, begging him with your eyes to go back to the table and let you make a connection, for once.

He saw the look, understood, and promptly ignored it.

“We should probably get back to the motel. The others left when I got up to check on you.”

“I’m a big girl, Spencer. I’ll be okay.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him.

“I can walk her back.” Michael looked up at Spencer, attempting to analyze him, to no avail.

“That won’t be necessary.” Spencer looked him dead in the eye, challenging him. A sudden look of realization dawned on Michael’s face. He immediately stood up, grabbing his jacket.

“Wow, I’m really sorry for the misunderstanding. I assumed you were single.”

God fucking dammit, Spencer.

“Oh I am! I am. It’s not like that. Spencer is just a good friend.”

Spencer stood there, unmoving, arms crossed, stoic as he could be. Michael gave up the silent fight, putting on his jacket and turning to leave.

“Listen, it was really nice to see you again, agent. Thank you again, truly, for all you did for my team today. Best wishes.” He shook your hand, far more awkward this time, and nodded to Spencer before bolting toward the door.

The prior sadness couldn’t hold a flame to the anger bubbling inside you at that moment. You whipped around to face the ever stoic Spencer, who didn’t seem to care about the fact that you were pissed as all hell about what he had just done. Before he could say another word, you took your coat from his outstretched arm and stormed toward the door, not caring if he followed or not.

Thankfully, the rain had stopped, but the beautiful lightning illuminated the sky as you furiously stomped back across the street to the motel. Normally you would attempt to walk softly in your heeled boots so as to not draw attention, but you couldn’t care less in this moment. You wanted Spencer to know just how royally pissed off you were, and you could tell he was right behind you.

Who did he think he was? Swooping in at the last second to sever the one human connection you’d made all night? Breaking the newfound bond you started with someone to distract from what he had caused?

The anger coursing through your veins seemed to dissolve the alcohol all on its own. You were no longer drunk, you were furious.

Breathe. Assault of a federal agent will put your ass in jail. Breathe.

It wasn’t until the two of you were alone in the elevator that you’d finally calmed down enough to form a sentence.

“What the fuck, Spencer?”

He didn’t answer. You took a deep breath, trying to expel the burning desire to scream. It didn’t work.

Of course, the one time you truly needed his explanation, he refused to offer it.

When the elevator reached your floor, he silently followed you to your room. You fished in your pocket for the key, but before you could swipe it Spencer grabbed your wrist, turning you toward him.

“I’m sorry.” He flatly stated.

Sure. Nice try.

“For what?” You challenged, not breaking his eye contact.

“For not getting you out of that situation sooner.”

You laughed right in his face. Pitiful, loud, uncontrollable laughter.

“Are you kidding me? Seriously? Oh my God.” You laughed so hard you thought you were going to throw up, clutching your stomach and leaning forward. His arms attempted to steady you but you eagerly batted them away.

“What is so funny about that?” You could tell he was getting frustrated.

Were you really about to start this?

You were really about to start this.

“Guess what? Men are allowed to flirt with me, Spencer. Believe it or not some people actually find me desirable.” He was surprised, but not as much as you thought he might be.

He didn’t deny that this was what had struck the nerve and prompted him to get you out of the bar.

“Those cops are bad news.” He broke eye contact, further proving your point.

“Michael was kind to me.”

“He was putting up a front.”

“Why is it so difficult for you to believe someone could actually be attracted to me?”

“He doesn’t even know you!”

“And if he did he wouldn’t want me?”

Spencer opened his mouth to fight back, but immediately closed it, eyes darting between the patterns on the carpet. Your heart cracked.

“I didn’t realize you thought so little of me, Spencer.”

“That’s not what I…” He cut himself off with a deep sigh, putting his hands behind his head and looking up to the ceiling.

“Then what the hell is it, because I don’t have time for this.” You spat, trying to use your keycard once more. Spencer grabbed your wrist again, holding tightly even as you tried to squirm away.

“What is your problem?” You nearly yelled in his face. “I don’t understand why it is SUCH a stretch in your mind that a man could want to spend time with me. Why can’t you fucking accept that?”

This time, as you tried to push him off of you, he grabbed your other arm and pinned both behind your back, pulling you close to him so you couldn’t escape.

“Because no matter who it is, I can guarantee they don’t want you as badly as I do.”

Your entire, sober brain shut down. All at once, the world was spinning, and not from alcohol.

You pushed him away, and this time he let you go, standing at a respectful distance, allowing you to soak in his confession. The wheels in your head weren’t turning fast enough for this.

“But… that girl Morgan was talking about…”

“Yeah. That’s you.”

Wait… what?

You let your hands fall to your knees as you leaned forward. It was too late in the night for this, too wrong a moment for such a bold confession.

So… he wanted to ask you out… but didn’t? When did that happen? When have you ever given him an indication you weren’t interested? But had you ever given him an indication you were interested?

The madness in your swirling thoughts was interrupted by Spencer taking a step toward you. Oh no. Oh dear God no.

Your brain screamed at you to move, take a step, run away, anything. But your heart held its own. In your deepest desires, you had been waiting for this moment since the day you met him.

Now it was your turn to observe the patterns on the carpet. Each and every flower seemed far more interesting now that you were confused out of your mind and your heart was beating at twice its normal rate.

All of the sudden, the toes of his converse lined up with your own, and you felt his hand lift your chin to look him in the eyes. In the low light of the hallway, they almost looked golden.

He moved painfully slowly, as if you would bolt at any moment. Which, to be fair, if your rational brain had anything to say about this moment, you’d be halfway down the street by now.

But, it didn’t. His hands slowly made their way to your waist, delicately touching to make sure you were okay before settling firmly. Your own hands worked their way up his arms and around his neck, feeling every tense, trembling move he made the whole way.

It was as if the entire world was paused, as if everything was in slow motion except for you and him. For the first time since you joined the bureau, you allowed your guard to drop for a moment.

And in that brief moment, his lips met yours.

Alarm bells sounded in your mind as soon as it happened, and you pulled your head away, ending the kiss almost as quickly as it began. You frantically looked into his eyes, still clutching onto him, allowing yourself to let it sink in.

Spencer Reid had just kissed you. Okay, sure.

The part that really scared you was how much you enjoyed it.

Breathe, dear God, fucking breathe.

He held your gaze with a surprising intensity, letting his eyes tell you all the truths he was afraid to say out loud.

You were afraid too. Terrified.

Yet, somehow, standing in that musty motel hallway holding onto your best friend for dear life after just locking lips for the first time felt like the most natural, perfect thing in the world.

Were you really about to continue this?

You bet your ass you were about to continue this.

You grabbed his face and pulled his head back down to yours to kiss him again. Your lips met just as softly, but this time settled into an intimate rhythm. One of your hands made its way into his hair, lightly pulling, causing him to let out a deep moan.

Oh, no. No, no, no. You really liked that.

His hands splayed out over your back, attempting to bring you even closer as your bodies moved together.

So this was what you had been running from all this time, the scariest possible scenario you’d tried so hard to bury.

That fear seemed minuscule compared to the overwhelming feeling of goodness that came from being this close to him, feeling his soft hair in your hands and his beating heart against your chest.

The edge of the abyss grew closer with every soft movement and crash of your lips. The point of no return loomed, begging you to hold him closer, bring him into your room, and cross all of the lines your paranoid mind had set long ago. After all, rules were made to be broken and lines were meant to be crossed, right? By the way he hungrily pressed your body against the door to your room, you knew he was thinking the exact same thing.

But, in true agent fashion, your rational brain caught up to you before you could make the dream a reality.

You pulled away harshly, and he immediately removed his hands and stepped back. Your heart was beating so fast you thought it might burst right out of your chest.

He looked so beautiful like this, hair all disheveled, lips big, full, and thoroughly kissed. His eyes held the horror you had grown to know so well, the fear of ruining one of the very best things in your lives. You were positive your own eyes reflected the very same idea.

“Spencer…”

“I know.” He cut you off, closing his eyes.

“We can’t ruin this. We can’t go down that road.”

“I know.”

The charged silence that followed was most unwelcome. 

“Why would you say that. Why would you act on that?” Your accusation against his confession was less of an attack and more of a whimper, trying so hard to bury the longing feelings again.

He shrugged, analyzing the carpet once more. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

“Spencer.” You let his name roll off your tongue softly, gently, longing to somehow take it all back, to push what you had done into some secret place, never to be seen or spoken of again.

He looked up at you, the same emotions swirling through his eyes. He understood.

“I didn’t want to live any longer not knowing, I guess.” He softly admitted.

You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came. There was no way to take it back, no way to fix this, no rational comfort you could offer.

There was nothing more either of you could say.

So, with that, he turned on his heel and walked back to his own room, never looking back.

You stood there in the hallway for a long while, completely stunned. It wasn’t until the subtle bell of the elevator broke your trance that you finally swiped your keycard and retreated to the solace of your room.

Somehow, in the midst of the war going on in your head, you managed to pack all of your things. You wouldn’t remember going through with your night routine or climbing into the soft motel bed, but somehow your unconscious mind led you there.

The tears of frustration didn’t start until about 20 minutes into blankly staring at the ceiling. They rolled down your cheeks and pooled in your hair, but you barely noticed. Every so often, you lifted your hand to your lips, unbelievingly, wishing for some reminder of what it felt like to be connected with him. 

How had your pride been so dominating that it thrust you into the very situation you worked tirelessly to avoid? What prompted him to act so impulsively? Why did you just stand there and let him leave?

Most importantly, how in the world were you going to resolve this?

To say it was going to be a sleepless night would be the understatement of the century.

-------------

As you got on the plane the next morning, Emily was the first one to meet your exhausted gaze. She got up from her seat and walked over to you, enveloping you in her arms.

“I heard the yelling from my room. I’m sorry.” She whispered. You sighed, hugging her back as hard as you could.

So, they all knew. Of fucking course they all knew. Even Hotch and Rossi shot you a look of understanding sympathy as you moved to take the seat next to Emily. JJ patted your knee knowingly, and you gave her hand a squeeze before laying your head on Emily’s shoulder. Maybe now, surrounded by your girls, you would finally be able to get some sleep.

Thankfully, your hope became a reality. The next time you opened your eyes, everyone around you had drifted off as well. You gingerly lifted your head, making sure not to disturb Emily’s fragile sleep. 

The plane was peacefully silent, and as you scanned the cabin, your heart ached with gratitude for your team, your family. Getting shot was less than ideal, but the love and appreciation it prompted was most welcome. 

You felt Spencer’s eyes on you before you even noticed he was awake.

Turning your head toward the couch he was sprawled out on, your eyes locked with his. He made no move to look away, and neither did you. 

Fixing this was a necessity, and you both knew it. There was no space for awkwardness or personal feelings getting in the way of this line of work. 

As always, even despite the awkwardness and confusion of the past 24 hours, plopping down next to Spencer was still the most comforting feeling. Looking into his equally-tired eyes provided some comfort. At least you knew you weren’t the only one that lost sleep over the incident. 

His eyes were always a home to you, no matter what state your friendship was in. This was uncharted territory for both of you. Simply sitting next to each other, enjoying the presence and absorbing the moment, seemed to kickstart the healing that was sure to follow. 

Before you knew it, your arms were reaching out for him, and his enveloped you. Your head immediately fell to his shoulder, letting out a deep breath you didn’t remember taking. 

“I’m sorry.” You offered, chuckling at the whole situation. He joined in your slight laughter, squeezing you a little bit tighter as you felt the glorious sound reverberating in his chest.

“I’m sorry too.” He whispered. 

You pulled away to look at him, offering a small smile that he quickly returned. It already felt as if 1,000 pounds had been lifted from the air around you.

“It’s just, I would never forgive myself if I ruined this friendship, you know?” You admitted, ashamedly.

“I do. I promise, I do.” He insisted. You knew it was the truth.

The plane jolted from sudden turbulence, and you quickly scanned the cabin to make sure no one had woken up. When you were certain the whole team was still in a deep sleep, you turned back to Spencer, finally voicing the question that had been hovering for hours.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” 

“Probably for the same reason you didn’t tell me.” He replied, smirking at you.

Fair enough. You relaxed at the reemergence of his straightforward attitude, refreshed to know that his brutal honesty was unceasing. 

The silence that followed held far more meaning than more words could. 

There was no easy fix here, even though both of your feelings were now out in the open. Romantic attachment was a recipe for disaster for anyone at the BAU, much less two of its own agents. You both knew that all too well.

So… what now? Logically, you were at a dead end. 

Then, in true Spencer Reid fashion, he genuinely surprised you.

“Would you like to get coffee with me sometime?” He unceremoniously blurted. You looked up at him in surprise. Suddenly, it felt as if every logical answer to that question had left your brain.

“I…” 

“Don’t think too hard, just reply.” He quickly added, desperate for an answer, longing for a means to an end of whatever this night had started.

“Spencer Reid… are you asking me on a date?” 

“Yes, I am.” His golden brown eyes met yours. No hesitation, no jokes.

It’s amazing how the moments you spend so long running from can sneak up on you in a single instant. You knew that every fear you had about taking this path with him was rational. Attachment was a death sentence for one or both of you, in its own way. 

Was your heart really worth that risk? Running away from your feelings for so long was exhausting. How much longer would you really want to push it all away?

Well… you were both inevitably going to die anyway. Might as well do it with some love in your heart. 

“I’m not asking for forever, I swear. Just for a couple hours of your time. I just think…” He started, but you held up a hand, hoping he would ease up for long enough to let you answer.

Were you really about to take this leap?

“I would love to.”

Damn right you were.

His surprised smile was blinding, and you couldn’t help but match it. 

This time, you barely noticed the turbulence when the cabin fell silent. Both of you sunk back into your seats, relief flooding the air. The million thoughts constantly circling in your head all stopped for a single moment, allowing you to finally, blissfully, breathe.

“You know, for two profilers, we really should have caught this sooner.” Your tired eyes began to fall closed again, finally feeling the full weight of the night lift from your shoulders.

“Yes, but as two emotional repressors, I think we did a pretty great job.” Spencer’s sweet, beautiful voice brought you back, and you couldn’t help but let out a joyful laugh at his sassy retort.

Touché, Reid.

You silently scooted closer to him on the couch, laying your head on his shoulder and letting sleep overtake you once more. 

“I’m not asking for forever.”

His words, meant for comfort and persuasion in the moment, replayed in your mind as his arms encircled you.

“I’m not asking for forever.”

No, love. Not just yet.

[ithebookhoarder]

Hiiiiiiiii! idk if you're taking requests but if you are, could you write #19 from physical affection prompt list (it's "peppering their face in kisses") for Tommy? PLEASE if you want to 😅 or #5 from the fluff list, whichever you like more 🤔

Both. Both is good ;) Here you are hon. Hope you enjoy x As always, I’ve tagged the prompt lists these were taken from for anyone who wants them :)

Fluff Prompt list: No. 5: ‘Oh, you’re jealous.’ (Tommy Shelby x Reader) & Physical Affection Prompts: No. 19 ‘Peppering their face in kisses’ 

Masterlist:

Tommy Shelby wasn’t always a patient man. If he wanted something he usually made sure he got it. 

Tonight was no different as you stormed up the stairs towards your shared bedroom, Tommy following you with a frustrated expression on his face. It was impressive to be honest. He often found it hard to be mad at you when you looked as beautiful as you did, still dressed in the emerald green gown you’d chosen for the evening’s festivities. 

However, the sullen expression on your face was all he could focus on as you marched ahead, continuing the silence you’d been giving him since you’d left the party an hour ago. 

“Alright then. Out with it.”

“Out with what?”

“You know what,” he cooed, narrowing his eyes as if to warn you not to play games. “Whatever it is that’s been bothering you since the party. I may need glasses but I’m not blind. I can see you’re upset about something.”

You sighed, ignoring him and choosing instead to make your way over to the vanity in the corner of the room. It was easier to concentrate on releasing your hair from its pins and not on the man stood watching you from the doorway. 

As soon as you did, you felt better, the tension easing away from the vice like strain it had put on your scalp. 

Beauty really was pain sometimes. Especially when it hadn’t worked as planned, your husband’s eyes still wandering across the room to other women in attendance that night. Or, more precisely, Lizzie.

Now, whilst you actually quite liked her and even considered her a friend to you, you had never been able to shake the suspicion that Tommy’s past with her was just that: the past. 

You knew that made you sound crazy. You knew it made you sound like a jealous woman, an irrational one, judging a woman for a life she’d had no choice but to endure as a way to survive… but you were human. You were in love, and you couldn’t help but worry your husband would one day be taken from you, either by a rival businessman, or a rival lover. 

“Y/N,” he pleaded, drifting over to stand behind you. His hands were warm and soft as they rose to rest on your shoulders, as if grounding you to him. “Talk to me, eh? I can’t help make it better if I don’t know what it is that’s bothering you.” 

“Oh, really, Tommy?” 

“Yes.”

“I… I just…” 

“Just what?” he coaxed, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head. It was as if he knew how to slowly wear your resolve down, letting his soft touch draw out your answer as he continued to pepper kisses down you face, turning his attention to your neck and shoulders. 

You couldn’t help the moan that escaped your lips. “You play dirty, Tommy Shelby.”

“And what of it, Mrs Shelby?” he chuckled, eyes twinkling with mischief as he looked up meet your gaze in the mirror. The sight waiting was a debauched one, with your face flushed and chest heaving against your dress as his hands trailed up and down your skin. “You haven’t complained before.”

“That was before.”

“Before what?”

“Before I noticed that this is your way of distracting me. Manipulating me. Making me do or agree to whatever it is you want.”

 “I wouldn’t dream of it,” Tommy scoffed, pausing his ministrations to gently turn you so that you were now facing him. It was harder to ignore the desire in his eyes now, even more so as he dropped to his knees and stared up at you. “I just want you to be happy, Y/N. As happy as you make me every time I look at you and realise that I get to call you my wife.” 

The words made you sigh, your heart fluttering in response. Damn it. He knew exactly what to say. He always had. After all, he got you to agree to marry him, didn’t he? 

As if reminding you of that fact, you felt his hands take yours, his fingers gently toying with the gold band that sat on yours. 

“Then why do you do it, Tommy?”

“Do what?”

“Never look at me when we’re in public,” you whispered guiltily, as if embarrassed by your own insecurities. “You always disappear and talk to every other woman but me. It’s embarrassing. It’s like you’re bored by me.”

“Hey,” he warned, lifting a hand to your chin and making your eyes lock with his. “That’s not true. I could never get bored of you, Y/N. You know that. I love you more than I can ever say and I wish I knew how to make you understand that. If I’m talking to other women then it’s usually because it’s part of the business or some posh bastard has pushed her in my face.”

“So, what’s your excuse for Lizzie then?” 

Tommy froze. 

You watched as his features relaxed now that the heart of the matter had been established. You also watched the way his lips began to twitch, as if withholding the urge to smile. 

“Lizzie?” he repeated, a small laugh escaping him. “Oh, you’re jealous? That’s what this is about? The fact I spoke with Lizzie?”

“And danced with her. Three times, so don’t fucking laugh at me.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!” you snapped, pushing his hands off of you and attempting to turn back around. But Tommy was quick. Quicker than you gave credit for as he held you in place, his hands planted to the silk fabric covering your thighs. His grip was gentle though, if not firm. 

“I’m not,” he repeated softly, shaking his head. “I just think it’s flattering.”

“What is?”

“That you get jealous of me and Lizzie. I didn’t know you felt that way. As I told you, she’s just a friend. You’re my wife. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” you conceded, taking a deep breath. You let his words linger between you, as if trying to absorb them so that they’d stick. “It’s just … I feel like you’ll get bored of me one day. I’m not dangerous or exciting like most of those women. I’m not from their worlds. I know you all think I’m naive and soft-“

“You know what I think? I think you’re wonderful,” Tommy purred, cutting you off before you could plummet further into your insecurities, just as you did for him when he was about to do the same. “I think you’re smart. Kind. Brave. Possibly insane for loving a mess of a man like me.”

You giggled as between each word he pressed a kiss to a different place on your face. If he’d been wearing rouge on his lips, he would have stained you in a wash of red kisses. 

“I also think you’re compassionate. A perfect wife. A loyal companion and business partner. And hopefully, one day, you’ll be the mother of our children, too.” 

The thought sent shivers of desire running through you, melting any final concerns from your soul as you allowed him to worship you. 

“I want that, Tommy. More than anything.”

“Then trust me,” he instructed, hands sliding temptingly up your body and pulling you into his lap. You knew exactly where he was taking this and you were more than willing to follow. “Can I take you to bed, wife of mine?”

You nodded. “You can take me anywhere, Tommy. As long as we’re together… but bed sounds like a good place to start. How else are we going to have those children?” 

Tommy didn’t need telling twice. You were in his arms and being carried towards your bed before you even had time to blink. Oh, it was going to be a great night after all.  

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Spidey Squad (Boys) Suspicious Texting/Insecure - Headcanon

Masterlist

Anon asked - can I get a headcanon of the spidey squad boys reacting to their s/o's phone blowing up (in the texting way) and they think it might be a guy? Thanks XD

A/N: Lol I think I get what you're saying. Also thanks for the headcanon!!! I love making them. I gave Peter a blurb cuz, well, he's Peter. Enjoy!

Peter

Peter's not a super jealous guy, especially if he's already got you (as his girlfriend/boyfriend)

He trusts you so he's never in some constant state of awareness or fear about the state of the relationship or watching for anyone coming against it

Sometimes maybe too unaware

But that's for a different headcanon

Anyways

So you two are sitting probably watching a movie or something

And your phone is ON FIRE

Idk who's texting you but BOY have they got alot to say!

And it doesn't bother Peter at first

But like

THEY WON'T STOP

And at this point idk if he's just upset with getting distracted from the movie or from thinking some idiot's hitting on you

(Cuz he's a boy and boys gotta jump to irrational conclusions sometimes)

So he hits you with a quick "so who's texting us, babe?"

(Cuz ya gotta love sassy petey, I mean c'mon)

You either tell him who you're talking to and he calms down (but he will talk to Ned about people he suspects trying to flirt with you later) or "what the fuck you mean 'us'? They're texting me, Petey."

But overall it's just a minor, little, easily forgotten thing

Unless of course, you tease him

~Blurb~

"I love you, Metroman!"

"And I love you, random citizen!"

*Ding*

That was the fifth text. The fifth ding in the last two mintues. Peter watched you. You'd been reading them, only responding to some.

He shook his head slightly and turned back towards the t.v. set. 'You're just being insecure, Peter,' he told himself with a small chuckle. 'Don't say anything, don't be that guy.'

*Ding*

'So she's POPULAR today? That's new... that's interesting...'

*Ding*

*Ding*

*Ding*

The last series of noises caused Peter to let out a nervous laugh. You looked up at him curiously. "You alright, Pete?"

He nodded frantically as he paused the movie. "Heh, so... um, who's texting us, babe?"

Your jaw dropped. "Us?," you laughed. Peter Parker was feeling threatened? So he was as dumb as the average teenage guy after all. 'Okay then,' you thought before saying the name you'd knew would get him riled.

"Oh no-one. It's just Brad trying to flirt."

He scoffed and looked back at the t.v. "Brad trying to flirt..." he mumbled. Then it dawned on him. "Wait, Brad trying to-what?!"

Peter leaned, no, practically lunged over, trying to catch a glimpse of the messages. He frowned when you turned the screen off. "No no, turn it back on. What the hell is he saying to you?"

You couldn't contain your laughter as you turned your phone towards him and turned it on, only for him to see that the person who'd been texting was your best friend.

Peter immediately turned quiet and blushed as he sat back down. "I-i... I'm sorry."

"No, it was funny!," you teased. You reached over and kissed his cheek. "Guess you're a regular dumb teenage boy after all."

Flash

Oh, Flash doesn't even TRY to hide it.

He's not a bad person but he is a narcissistic little prick let's be honest

So he wants undivided attention when he talks

Anyway he's probably just talking a bunch

About literally whatever

And like halfway through he notices that you're not really listening

Or you start to laugh, but not at a joke he made

Your eyes are glued to your phone

So in the most Flash way possible, he just scoffs and says "hey tell your side-chick that you're home now."

Seeing as how you're with Flash, you wouldn't be a sensitive person

You just laugh it off

You finish the text and set your phone down probably shooting him a snarky remark while you're at it

He resumes talking

But even still, your phone is blowing up

And like he's talking but it's just

"So anyway-" *Ding*

"I was trying to-" *Ding*

"..to-" *Ding*

"Holy fuck, what- is that your other boyfriend?"

Might even pick up the phone and call whoever's texting you and just snicker "Get a hobby!," and pass the phone back to you

Yeah. He's that guy.

We still love him tho it's fine.

Ned

Ah, the sweetheart that is Ned Leeds

Let's be real he's not gonna jump to conclusions

And seriously, he probably won't even care who you're texting or that you're texting at all

He just wants your company

But if it gets really excessive

Like really REALLY excessive to the point where you're not even acknowledging him being in the room with you

He's probably just gonna shift over a bit to maybe see who's texting you so much

And throws out a little "wow, you're really popular today, huh?"

Then awkward silence

And awkward staring

And just plain awkwardness

Cuz like he WANTS your attention but he doesn't want to be rude about it

And if you STILL don't get it, he'll just tap you on the shoulder and be like "hey.. remember me.. your boyfriend?"

We all get needy sometimes😬😗

Tagging mutuals: @allegra-writes, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @spidey-reids-2003, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @kelieah

[smoothiegameshow]

can i get hisoka x reader where hisoka gets jealous? 🥺🙏

Yes, of course!! Hope you enjoy :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know Hisoka loves you.

The two of you have been together for almost a year now. You’re a two star hunter, a floor master in the Heaven’s arena, and, according to Hisoka, one of the strongest nen users he’s ever met. He was drawn to your strength, your potential, your ability to hold your own, and you’ve never disappointed.

You know he loves you, but Hisoka can be a terribly... terribly difficult person to read. 

It’s an irrational fear, but the idea that he’s losing interest has been nagging at you for longer than you’re comfortable with. It feels like the dates have become less extravagant, his kisses are growing shorter, his embrace is growing colder... It’s ridiculous, of course. It’s all in your head, but you’d feel better if those insecurities were quelled.

So when Hisoka asked you to come along as his plus one to an exclusive, invitation only banquet, it came as quite the pleasant surprise. Just for the occasion, you wore your midnight blue evening gown, paired with an exquisite pair of diamond earrings and the nicest heels you own.

As you finished getting changed, the door swung open and Hisoka entered the room without knocking.

“Wow,” he commented, eyeing you up and down. “Interesting choice.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, batting your eyes innocently.

“I just find it interesting,” he said, the ever present grin remaining on his face. “I don’t think I would have picked that dress. It’s quite a surprise.”

“A... good surprise?”

“It’s different. I can appreciate that.” His eyes stopped on your arm. “Where did you get that?”

You followed his gaze to the fresh cut diagonal across your inner arm. You had forgotten about it until now, but its presence being commented on suddenly made you embarrassed to be wearing a sleeveless dress. “A nick from training yesterday,” you answered, rolling your arm to hide it.

“Let me see.”

You reluctantly held your arm out for Hisoka to inspect. To your surprise, he held you in place by the wrist and... licked the wound?

“What... are you doing?”

“This prevents infection.”

You stared at him, hoping to read something on his face. He simply smiled back.

“I feel like that’s not true.”

“When have I ever lied to you?”

Before you could respond to that, Hisoka swiftly exited the room the same way he came in — without any warning. You took that as your cue to follow, and the two of you began the drive to the banquet hall.

The ride was surprisingly quiet, considering what had just transpired, and your insecurities towards his feelings for you were growing stronger by the second. What did he mean, “interesting choice”? Was he negging you? Was he licking your arm to be affectionate??? What was that???

The arrival at the banquet hall postponed your thinking, and upon entering the building, Hisoka abandoned you to “scope out the competition”.

Fine, you thought to yourself, I’ll scope out some competition on my own. Your eyes flitted across the room until you locked gazes with a man over by the dessert table. Perfect.

“Did you get ditched by your date, too?” You asked, saddling up next to the stranger.

“I didn’t come with one,” he smiled. “I’ve been waiting for a pretty thing like you to talk to me.” While the man chatted you up, you felt a pair of eyes on your back and a dark presence making its way over.

“Darling,” Hisoka’s voice was cold behind you. “Who is this?”

“Oh, only the most impressive man in the room,” you said, trying to get a rise out of Hisoka. Is he... jealous?

“I’m not that impressive,” the man laughed awkwardly, “I never even come to these things anyways. I’m a three star hunter, so they begged me to show up.”  

“Hm,” Hisoka hummed. “Three stars, you say?” The jealousy was practically dripping off of him at this point. You felt butterflies in your stomach. Possessive is a good look on him, you thought to yourself.

“That’s right,” the stranger responded, snapping you back to reality.

“A place like this must be incredibly boring for you then,” Hisoka purred, “Why don’t we go somewhere a little more... Interesting?”

Wait, what?

“Why the hell not,” the man said, and turned to you, “We should talk again sometime.”

“Wait, hold on... What? Hisoka —” You started to ask what he was doing, but he quickly interrupted.

“You can call yourself a taxi. We’re heading out.”

Ah.

So Hisoka wasn’t jealous that some handsome stranger was hitting on you, he was jealous of you for talking to the strongest hunter in the building.

As your now ex-boyfriend left to go beat down a man ten times stronger than him in a parking lot somewhere, you were comforted by at least knowing your instincts were correct.

Now to buy some disinfectant for your arm wound.

[invncibleiron]

send me a ship and a number and I’ll tell you my headcanon

@bokketo said tonyrhodey 

Like it says on the tin, these are my headcanons, so tell me what you agree with and don’t agree with! 

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

Tony and Rhodey knew each other in college, so the embarrassing stories abound. For Tony, the worst was the very first time they met. Rhodey was nice to him, so of course Tony thought that meant he was looking for sex because why else would someone be kind to him without alternative motives? He kissed Rhodey then proceeded to throw up on Rhodey’s shoes because he was so drunk. 

As for Rhodey, Tony definitely convinced him to skinny dip...only for them both to get caught...by the girl Rhodey had a crush on at the time...and all her friends. 

13. When do they realise they should get together?

Sometime after Tony sobers up and after they get used their roles as Iron Man and War Machine and members of the Avengers. When all the “newness” of their life as superheroes calms down a bit, when things stabilize, and they’re not running after one crisis after the other (though, let’s be honest, there is always something) it just sort of clicks. That, and Tony’s robots keep calling them a couple (this is canon), and after arguing for weeks that ‘we’re not together,’ and the bots keep pushing them literally into each other’s arms and asking for a picture of “the happy couple,” they kiss to shut the bots up...and then don’t stop. 

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

They rock, paper, scissors it most often. Which Tony is very good at. But Tony will complain loudly when he loses and whine until Rhodey caves and lets him pick. When Rhodey doesn’t cave, Tony will lay across him dramatically during the movie and nitpick all the scientific inaccuracies. In short, he is annoying. 

20. Where do they go on holiday?

Tony always tries to plan some very elaborate world traveling trip on a fancy plane, but Rhodey gets the final say on holidays, and more often than not, he’ll take Tony home to spend the holidays with his family. Tony absolutely loves the family atmosphere, helping Rhodey’s mom cook dinner, playing with his nieces and nephews, and their nights camped out on a twin bed, trying not to make a noise and wake his parents, like they’re teenagers all over again. It’s simple and easy and so much better than some fancy resort.

25. Why do they fight?

Tony is not good at communication, particularly if something is wrong, and he almost never asks for Rhodey’s help. This means a lot of unnecessary stress on Rhodey who want to help and is always there to catch Tony when he falls--which would be a lot easier if Tony stopped jumping off of tall buildings, literally and figuratively. Rhodey has more than enough reason to get mad/frustrated, especially when Tony drops off the radar for three days without notice. 

Tony gets mad if Rhodey finishes the cereal. 

28. Why do they get jealous?

Tony is incredibly insecure. It’s not like he thinks Rhodey will ever cheat on him and he will never act on the jealousy--like asking Rhodey where he’s been or who he’s talked to or anything else toxic like that; whatever Rhodey tells him is all he has to tell him, it’s fine--but at the end of the day, he’s just a paranoid person who can sometimes have severe mood swings, and in those lower moments, he’s just waiting for Rhodey to find someone better like it is an inevitable conclusion to their relationship. 

As for Rhodey, it would depend on how Rhodey treats Tony’s job and public persona, and I have a feeling he doesn’t hold much store by it. Tony flirts in public settings, at parties; he charms to get what he wants, and as his oldest friend, Rhodey knows its an act and means nothing to Tony--but that doesn’t meant there’s never that irrational sting of jealousy all the same. 

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

When they’re silently communicating. Handing each other things before they even ask, navigating around the kitchen on a busy morning, perfectly in step because they’ve done this a thousand times before, because they know how the other ticks and have learned to lean into it and just really be partners. 

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hello darling, I've got a HC request for you

Okay so I was thinking about some “jealousy” headcanons. Arthur had always been afraid of loosing you. When the two of you were out together- he had seen the men of Gotham gawking at such a beauty like yourself. Maybe he had kept it for himself, not wanting to make a fuss. With Joker now that didn’t change, BUT it actually started to happen the other way around, too. Women were starting to notice this utterly handsome, sexy, beautiful man in that red suit and you didn’t know how to handle it. You’re feeling not good enough and start to worry he might leave you. He would make sure he’s not going anywhere obviously.

I love this idea so much omgggg!!! It’s definitely true kksksksksk I’d be super jealous of anyone tryna get his attention like no he’s mine get your own clown.

Also, I’ve already written jealousy HC’s for Arthur/Joker so for this one, I’m focusing more on the reader being jealous! I hope you don’t mind x

Warning for swearing.

You didn’t mean for Joker to find out that you were jealous. You didn’t. 

But you had made one too many snide remarks across the course of a single night when you were already feeling vulnerable and Joker, his ears and eyes always trained on you, picked them up.

It didn’t take long for him to assemble the puzzle; it never did when it came to you. He knew you so well it was almost a fault.

“Quick, look! It’s Joker!” Hushed whispers from men and women - you heard most of them -  surrounded you as you and Joker walked through Gotham’s grimy streets, simply spending time together like a ‘normal’ couple, and you bit down on your tongue, clench your fists,

“Get your eyes off him, bitch. He’s mine,” You murmured, keeping your face turned away from Joker, but you were still heard by the clown.

Joker would grin smugly to himself but he wouldn’t address what you were saying.

“Oh, he’s so handsome! Do you think he’d tell me a joke?”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll give you what you deserve.” 

People were shameless in public spaces. Could they not see you walking hand in hand with Joker, your arms swinging in the space between your bodies?

Joker caught the glare which you directed towards the man who had spoken and it was at the slightly glassy look in your eyes that he began to wonder if perhaps there was more to what you were saying.

So he started watching you. Listening to you. Studying you the way you so often studied him.

it was when you slipped your hand out of his that Joker knew that something was behind all of your sassy comments. He always enjoyed your sarcasm, but he was now definitely aware that there was more to what you were saying.

“The way he escaped Arkham was so clever! I’d love to know how his mind works.”

You scoffed. You had been the brains behind the operation. Not Joker. You. Joker frowned and reached out to take your hand in his again, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into the web of your hand. 

You resisted the urge to rip your hand out of his. Joker wasn’t the one at fault here and you refused to act on your insecurities and anxieties. 

Of course, you weren’t at fault, either, for you were well within your rights to feel as you did. You just wouldn’t act on them. The distinction was important, though it had taken you a long time to really understand it.

Had the situation been reversed, you knew that Joker would be feeling much the same way as you were, though he very definitely would have made it known by now. You, at least, possessed a little more tact.

As the two of you approached those stairs, Joker caught sight of your face. Whatever he saw in your eyes made him frown and he stopped dead, breathing evenly for a few seconds while you stood there just watching him, taking him in.

His perfectly jagged, imperfect makeup. Those dark blue triangles which enunciated the green of his eyes. That red, untamed smile which was painted on his face and created a living mask for Joker’s real lips were down turned into a frown.

“Do you want to tell me about it, Y/N?”

You went to shake your head, but there was something dark in Joker’s eyes, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. In any case, you had a feeling that he wouldn’t let you get away with not telling him.

You were right.

“Doll.” A warning statement. You would tell him. 

You sighed, shook your head. You really didn’t want to have this conversation, but you knew that if you didn’t tell him, then Joker would jump to conclusions.

You didn’t trust him, you didn’t need him, you didn’t want him… His insecurities and neuroses would resurface and worsen, all the things you said but all the things you omitted playing over and over again in his head like a broken record…

It was best to simply lay all your cards on the table and then go from there. Communication was important in any relationship, but especially in one with such a person as Arthur.

For that was who the man before you was - Arthur. Your Arthur and you had always told him anything, no matter how difficult it was for you.

“Ugh, fine - “ Joker grinned triumphantly but you ignored it and pushed forward, eager to just say it and get everything out in the open. You knew he was going to laugh. He would think you were joking. But then when he realised you weren’t, well… that was where you were unsure of his reaction, even after all this time together. He was an unpredictable man, your Joker.

“I’m jealous, okay? All these people looking at you, saying these things now that you’re Joker and I’m scared you’re gonna fall out of love with me and go and find someone else.” You sighed, the sound saturated with unshed tears, and turned away from Joker, unable to look at him.

He was going to laugh at you, you knew he was.

He didn’t.

There was painful silence for long, tense seconds which were marked only by the fierce pounding of your heart, and then there was a gentle hand under your chin, directing your gaze towards him.

The seriousness in Joker’s face and the lack of even the slightest of humour in his face brought you up short, and those tears which you had suddenly found yourself fighting poured down your cheeks.

His green eyes were locked on yours and every time you looked away did his eyes follow; you would look at him in the eyes.

Joker’s hand slid up your face, cupping your cheek, and he moved his other hand to do the same, his calloused thumbs soothing away your tears, the softest most gentle of smiles on his face. He looked so much like his real self at this moment that it only made you cry harder, and he cooed sympathetically.

“Y/N.” All the weight of his love for you was in your name and you closed your eyes against it. 

Joker’s grip tightened just enough to make you open them, and the raw intensity of his gaze stole your breath from your lungs.

“Who got me out of the fridge at 3AM when I couldn’t sleep?”

You shuddered to think of that time but you answered him anyway. “I did.”

Joker nodded in encouragement, eager now to get his point across. “Mm-hm,” His smile faded as quickly as it came, though. “And who helped me with my comedy?”

“I did.” You smiled to think of all those shared moments of laughter, of all those dark jokes which he spent hours thinking of while you were away at work, or busy with school. 

Another hum, Joker’s grin widening now as he saw that you were beginning to understand. “And who learned my make-up routine in secret and surprised me with it on Valentine’s Day? And who got together an outfit which looks just like mine - “ Joker tugged on the hem of his blazer pointedly “ - Just so they felt me around them when I wasn’t? And who stayed by my side through it all? And who - “ Joker’s words tumbled past his lips faster and faster as he desperately tried to make his point.

Those tears had stopped falling and there was something building in your chest, some immense kind of pride as you realised all at once what Joker was saying to you. 

It was all you.

“Me. I did all those things.” You could both hear the pride and love in your voice and it made Joker laugh as he realised that you understood, now. 

He didn’t think any less of you for this vulnerable moment, for if the situation had been reversed, he also would have been going through what you were now. 

“Exactly. Everyone is awful these days, but not you. You’re the only good thing in this city, Y/N. How could I ever leave the one who holds my heart in their hands for someone who only appreciates me now that I’m Joker? They. Don’t. See me. They don’t know me. They don’t love me. But you do. You do. Y/N, I - “ 

Joker’s green oceans overflowed with love and a single tear made its way down his face, smearing that blue triangle so that it flowed down his cheek to a point. 

“Oh, angel, I’m sorry, I - “ All at once you felt guilty for feeling as you had and for telling Joker about it. 

It was irrational, you knew, but you couldn’t help it. You hated telling Joker how you really felt, sometimes, because it caused him just as much pain as it caused you, so emotionally intertwined were you.

“Don’t.” Joker shook his head at your apology, waving it off. He carried on walking, the usual spring in his step no longer there as he made his way up those stairs. He walked several paces ahead of you where he was usually glued to your side, and you understood that he had separated himself from the situation for now.

He needed to think, and so did you; though you now understood that there was nothing to be jealous or afraid of.

Joker was going nowhere and neither were you.

In what seemed like no time at all but also all the time in the world, you were back at the apartment.

As soon as that door closed behind you and the safety chain had been drawn across as the last defence, you were in Joker’s arms, and that was where you stayed for the remainder of the night.

Seated on your lap did Joker tell you again and again and again that he loved you, and only you. Like the world’s sweetest lullaby did the words chase you into sleep, crawled inside your heart, and indeed did you almost feel sorry for the citizens of Gotham, for no one loved in the way which your Arthur did, and everyone except you was missing out on such a rare gift.

The Arthur Fleck/Joker Defense Squad @writings-of-a-gen-z                      @x-avantgarde-x       @insomniabird      @mavalenovaninagavi     @itwasrealenough     @morrisonmercurymalek     @rand0ms-fand0ms     @rafaelina-casillas     @aclownthing       @vivft                                          @help-i-am-obssessed      @autumnaffection       @taintednihilist   @vladtoly   @mg-woolf99      @misstgrey92   @dopey-fandom-girl         @seeking-dreamland      @sweetheart-syndrome      @heartxfdesire     @xmusichealsthesoulx       @0callmejude0      @the-one-that-likes-riddles        @hannibalsslut       @folliaght            @freeeshavacadoo         @bingewatchingmylifegoby       @unlovedbyeveryoneandeverything @okamiredfoxx       @sp0okysp0oky  @the-pandorabox      @mardema @jibanyyan        @honeyflvredcoughdrop         @emissarydecksetter @jokerfleckk         @epidendroideae         @chuuntas          @stillmabel       @pumpkinpeyes       @onehystericalqueenposts          @the-jokers-wolf       @nalsswa  @justahyena       @arianatheangelworld  @soullessblondbitch @gothamslittlejester  @twentyonestarrynights  @sirianfromsixties @kissmeclownman    @joker-is-my-hero  @lazyloosah  @lovesickkloxx @ladylovelyluna      @live-love-loki  @clownerybbxx   @tragicarthur    @anmach123      @rommie-chan      @arthurflock     @lucyboytom                  @immortal-bi-bitch    @hearthurfleck     @jokersproperty     @curlystark     @hailmary-yramliah    @sagyunaro     @playinthedarktillitsgoldenagain     @jokeringcutio      @xenthefox   @mijachula @stcrrynightsinneverlcnd      @cheyennejonas22    @mrjfleck      @pauli1100     @smitten-susie    @actualkey     @callmejokerfleck   @jaylovesbats    @itsforyoubitch      @ridiculousnerd     @killerprotector3579       @soulsdontbreaktheybeeend     @fantasticwinnerclodexpert                  @arthurs-sweater      @pinkie44pie    @tsukiakarinobara      @prettyxlittlexpsychoxprincess   @elodia-gahan   @yours-mia     @parkdonghoons      @lady-carnivals-stuff                         @hobi-hobi-kyo-kkyu      @jupiturde        @incognitofish      @j-sux      @nothing-but-a-comedy      @tahliamalfoydepp     @sgtsavoytruffle         @smol-nari       @pocket-clown     @joker-flecked-me      @millandram     @obsessedandthirsty   @holosexualunicorn7000    @anyatheladyclown   @imightaswellnotexistatall      @elusive-ivory    @funneeeh    @jokerhoe    @carnivalou      @floralhijabix         @sonrisa-yk     @livingmydreamsquietly    @marymadly