#he's gonna surpass all levels of comprehension at this point

[the-sky-queen]

It'd probably be hilarious if size shifting Sonic shrinks when he gets sad or annoyed and it just annoys him even further

Perpetual cycle of just getting smaller and smaller. XD Next time on the Magic School Bus: Sonic explores the microscopic structure of a blanket.

[annashipper]

Anonymous Submission

Anon please - I really don’t understand why you think Ben’s predicament is funny. You laugh at him and mock him for failing to sell a disastrous relationship he never wanted but is stuck in nevertheless for reasons beyond our comprehension.

I’ve followed this sham from the beginning. Back in the day, we skeptics/truthers didn’t laugh at Ben. We may have laughed when he accidentally made Zero look stupid or when her feeble attempts to shine failed dismally but we never found his pain funny. Pap walks and red carpets weren’t hilarious outings we bought popcorn to enjoy - they were ordeals to get through - watching them through our fingers, flinching at his discomfort and misery. Sad, unwilling, miserable attempts to shill the kid/s made us shiver at his obvious discomfort and pain at having to comply.

Yet now Ben’s suddenly a great joke. A lumbering oaf to laugh at and entertain us. His shoehorning is suddenly hilarious - you revel in his pain and mock his unwilling attempts to sell the sham as if you think he’s a failure when he doesn’t do it well - why do you want him to sell this? If he did you’d call him fake, devious, two-faced, manipulative, etc. Suddenly whatever he does, it’s as if you think he deserves it. Why do you luxuriate in his misery? Do you now think this is all his fault? Do you want him to pay? To suffer? Do you think he deserves this? That he’s getting his just desserts?

I just don’t understand - Why has this disaster turned from something we watched - cringing along with him, into something we’re supposed to sadistically love, relish and enjoy. I for one feel none of your pleasure and enjoyment watching any of this and I don’t understand how any genuine skeptic could.

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Nonny, there are some points of your submission that are confusing to me.  I could have answered you via private messages, but since another Nonny had similar qualms yesterday (LINK), I thought I’d answer your questions in public.

Apologies in advance for the rant.

We Skeptics never called ourselves “truthers”.  That’s what the Nannies used to call us.

It was never Ben making Weirdo look stupid.  In the early days of the showmance in particular, it was Weirdo and Harvey making him look like a schmuck.  The lever of second-hand embarassment fans of his with half a brain have had to endure was (and still is) palpable.

Skeptics have been having gigglefests since before I ever joined the community back in January of 2015.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again for anyone who doesn’t remember those early days of Showmance From Hell(TM) documentation:  if it weren’t for @benedicts-third-testicle and her snark, I never would have joined Tumblr in the first place.

Soooooo.  Those who truly here back in 2014-5 remember how Ben transformed from a happy-go-lucky guy in 2014 to someone looking physically ill by the spring of 2015.  We also remember the ridiculous polls, the even more ridiculous drinking games, the CumberPorn, the Showmance bingo (which @gatorfisch still plays from time to time and cracks me up), the DorkyBatch pic or gif of the day, the snarky questions and the even snarkier answers, the vigorous fact checking, the readers of Bally’s blog losing their glunch, the up/down bump compares, the submissions of crazy theories on what would happen next during those early days, how PR was basically answering Ms Bally’s concerns through weird handholding and bikini sneaky pap shots that were blurred, the press rundowns each and every day, that Ben should always strive to be a #supportivefruithusband to Weirdo whom fetch still eludes because she obviously never tried to follow Spinsie’s advice and take on mandarine juggling on London street corners, Ms Ballsy stocking up on Baileys, pop corn and Tim Tams in preparation for pap walks through airports (which at that time were a dime a dozen), everyone stocking up on the alcoholic beverage of their choice to watch the BAFTAs and Oscars that year, bingate, the showmance (which on Ballsy’s blog was called the shamwow) playlist, etc.

As far as I’m concerned, nothing’s changed since those days.  

I was then and I still am a SkeptoNanny.  I was and still am cringing whenever Ben looks pissy / sad / done standing or sitting next to Weirdo although he smiles standing or sitting around everyone else.  I was and still am getting a sad every time I think of how much Ben’s demeanour has changed since 2014.  

Something I’ve always been accused of by Skeptics who run their own blogs as well as Nonnies, is that I nanny Ben a little too much, and they’re all absolutely right.  I always did go out of my way to find excuses for his behaviour, and it’s something I intend to keep doing, because for all of his idiocy, I’m still a fan of his work, and I truly believe he’s a nice guy whose one true error in judgement was agreeing to play along with the game Weirdo thought would be fun on the night of January 3rd, 2015 at PSIFF.  The moment he agreed to keep baiting that first pregnancy for free publicity because Harvey had promised him an Oscar, he basically signed up for all of the craziness we’ve been witnessing (and alternating between groaning and giggling at) ever since.

At the same time, I always thought the awkward shoehorning was hilarious.  I always laughed at the piss-poor attempts to disguise set-up pap walks as relentless hounding from the paparazzi.  I always found Weirdo’s fetchlessness endlessly entertaining.  I always assumed she would never get a voice in this showmance, and the past four years have not proved me wrong.  I always got the giggles out of the weird handholding.

What I would urge you and everyone else who agrees with you on my stance to do would be to read through my blog and take what I have to say seriously, instead of assuming I’m always being snarky in my observations / answers to asks and submissions.

I have stated repeatedly that I believe Ben has had a firm grasp on the stirring wheel of this showmance since March of 2016, and I mean that.  As such, it’s getting increasingly hard for me to keep making excuses for his poor choices to make this whole thing look realistic.

The way he keeps flogging this particular dead horse to receive free publicity, and the unfortunate way his quotes regarding his wife and children come at complete odds with his actions leave me speechless.  Or they would leave me speechless if this showmance hadn’t been so very inconsistent since day one.

You ask why I “want him to sell this“.  Well, I’m a firm believer in doing something right or not doing it at all.  Since Ben doesn’t seem to be willing to end this showmance until “people who think his wife and child(ren) are a PR stunt” will shut up, he might as well do it properly and try to make the whole thing look realistic.  This has nothing to do with the Skeptical community and everything to do with his public image.

Skeptics who run their own blogs and have not been commenting publicly on the showmance for ages are still paying attention.  Closet Skeptics are still putting together the pieces to this ridiculous puzzle and laughing their heads off at the idiocy in my private messages.  Regular Anons who don’t send me submissions anymore are still reading my blog and sending me private messages and/or e-mails.  Newly formed Skeptics still emerge every time Ben decides to rock the proverbial boat by trotting Weirdo out.

Unfortately, having spent the past 4 years documenting those very inconsistencies has basically turned those of us who are truly paying attention to what’s being said versus what’s being done into human bullshit detectors, and just because Ben is alternating between trying to bore us to death and upping the stupidity level when he decides it’s time for free publicity for one of his projects is not going to drive anyone away.  

The most depressing part of all is that the clickability of Skeptical blogs far surpasses the clickability of any other part of the fandom (be it Fan blogs, Nanny blogs, Anti blogs or just Ben’s official/unofficial web page).  

So yeah.  I’m gonna keep speaking my mind, and I’m far past sugarcoating my opinions.  While I don’t expect anyone to agree with me, I am not going to treat a 42 year old successful man like a helpless toddler who doesn’t have the means and the opportunity to release himself from whatever Madame Fetchlessly Irrelevant is holding over his head.

That being said, I’m still going to keep making excuses for him when it makes sense to do so, and I’m still going to root for him to do well in all of his endeavours.

The fact that he’s painted himself into a ridiculous corner with this showmance doesn’t change the fact that I believe he has tremendous capacity for kindness and a raw talent that he’s able to hone into an impossibly sharp edge when he’s in front of a camera or an audience.  

Just don’t ask him to do it when his wife is within a five foot radius.  That seems to be his Achilles heel...

[darkvalkyria]

6, 7, 19, 27!

6. Favorite Yugioh rival

In terms of being a supportive friend and a good competitor I think I have to go with Jack, in regards to both Yusei and Yuya! He’s a powerforce with a really funny personality who knows when it’s time to be serious, and he has such a strong and confident will. His relationship with Carly and their adventures to regain his confidence were endearing, and his duel against Aporia with Rua and Ruka is one of my favorites because he does a really good job of coaching them both without treating them like incapable children. That one time when he beat up those dudes for sabotaging Aki’s duel runner exam was so good, I was very proud. He and Crow are good friends, good brothers; I love their arguments and misunderstandings that come as a result of Jack being used to a richer lifestyle. They had cute bromantic moments in Arc V too (even I’m disappointed Crow didn’t cradle him in his arms after Zarc almost killed him). One of my favorite Jack moments is at the end of the series when Jack has that montage of training really hard because he wants to surpass Yusei, and even after he loses he congratulates Yusei in a really heartfelt, pure moment. In Arc V JACK IS SUCH A GOOD MENTOR TO YUYA I LOVE IT! I was mad at him at first for beating and being a dick towards Yuya but he makes up for it lol. I also liked how they made us question his character further in that scene where he gave the supposedly “trash” card to that boy whose name I forget. Even though he meant to be encouraging the kid just read his signals wrong. His interest in Reira and how he reminded him of himself was a nice introspective look as well. I love when he smiled at the end of the duel where Yuya beat him and you could tell he was really proud.

IN OTHER NEWS EVEN THOUGH HE’S A DICK I LOVE KAIBA AND HE’S MY BOYFRIEND OKAY HE’S THE ORIGINAL EXTRA AS FUCK HOT JACKASS NERD TECH-GENIUS RIVAL WITH DADDY ISSUES WHO IS ALSO PRETTY. I love the whole “end war with card games” thing he did and his love for Mokuba is some pure heartwarming shit. Also my heart explodes every time he mentions wanting to build Kaibaland; Sakaki Yusho wishes he could get on his level. Pretty much I just looooove how extra he is about everything. I just wish he had been more of a competition for Yugi.

7. Favorite Yugioh female

Yooooo I’m gonna have to say Mai from Duel Monsters. I really love her a lot. She’s got such a cool, tough personality and her deck is strong too. I love that she’s probably one of the first (if not THE first) top female duelists and I’m sure she’s legendary for that. She was one of the first people to give Yugi a real run for his money in their Duelist Kingdom duel. Her speeches in that duel were so on point and she toughened him up exactly the way he needed. She was KILLIN THE GAME TOO upon rewatch I was really salty she lost. The moment afterwards that duel where she gave her prize card to Jounouchi while giving him courage is one of my favorites too. Her relationship with Jounouchi is one of my favorites in the whole series, and I love the big sister vibe she has with Anzu and the other girls in the series. One of my favorite moments is when she lost intentionally/surrendered to Anzu. Her duel with Marik was amazing too. She’s so smart and I wish Yugi would have taken her more seriously as a true rival. My mind right now is hazy regarding what she did Post-Battle City so I don’t really remember what she does afterwards lol… Her outfits are always great tho. I think most of all I love the tough love she hands out. I wish she had been in Arc V or DSOD, I miss her! I truly think she is the Yugioh female we’ve always deserved, a perfect mix of emotions, strength, maturity, and will.

HONORABLE MENTION TO ISHIZU THAT’S MY GIRL RIGHT THERE!

19. Favorite 5Ds OP/ED

YAAAAAAAAS NOW WE’RE TALKIN IMMA LET YOU FINISH BUT “FUTURE COLORS” IS THE BEST YUGIOH OP/ED OF ALL TIME!!!!!!! FIGHT ME OVER THIS!! VISUALLY AND MUSICALLY! SO GOOD! THIS SONG MADE THE END OF 5DS SO MUCH MORE EMOTIONAL! I will never be over this ending okay?? Best 5D’s opening visually and musically for me is “BELIEVE IN NEXUS!” I love the instrumentation of this one, the gritty guitar and the build up of the song. The animation is also gorgeous and I love the visuals they chose, it always feels like a really full, comprehensive opening.

27. Favorite antagonist

You know Marik has always been memorable to me. He was over the top when it came to blaming the Pharoah for all the wrong in his life but I love the relationship he has with Rishid, and how his recognition of  Rishid’s brotherly affection and dedication to him was strong enough to contain his dark half. The worst thing Marik ever did was risk Rishid’s life by giving him that fake Ra card and saying that he was only worthy of the Ishtar name if he could use it successfully. That was cruel. His Rare Hunters were creepy too. Plus LittleKuriboh has made so much fun of Marik it’s made me love him so much more.

Also shoutout to Yubel for probably being the most evilly evil of antagonists... seriously she did so much evil it still surprises me how easily Judai forgave her. Devine was one creepy ass motherfucker and I’m glad he died. Z-ONE had a good story and he was a good person; the whole Yusei revelation was wack. I’ll also give Noah Kaiba some props because I loved his arc and I he was a nice kid for choosing to sacrifice himself at the end.