#he's gonna send saul goodman after me now

[hkthatgffan]

Oh, don't mind me...just waiting for when I can share these last two Book of Bill images Alex Hirsch sent me and Hana back in 2023 before he revealed the fucking thing ;)

[deerangle3]

OMG CAN YOU CAN YOU please pretty please write headcanons about how you and I and Barou, Shidou and Karasu beat up Igaguri!!! And then we call Saul for legal help

Ich werde eine sketchy fic schrieben statt headcanons weil das hier sich passender anfühlt (3rd person :D)

"Shiiiittt he's all bloody..." Shidou gritted his teeth with a sharp-ish inhale. He licked the blood from his fists. Barou looks down at the beaten and bruised boy. "If he tries anything we just coerce him, right?"

"But you know his playstyle in soccer, faking Fouls... I don't think we'd get away with this so easily. Maybe we should get a lawyer or somthin'" Karasu looks at everyone, stopping at Claire and raising an eyebrow when their expression brightened randomly.

"I know! Hold on-" they desperately search for something in their pocket, eventually finding it, judging by the facial expression.

Barou snatches the little card from their hand. "Saul Goodman? Attorney at law... in legal trouble? call blablabla- this guy looks so sketchy"

"But he's affordable!" "But we're all fairly well off, we don't need to cut corners..." Mao said, giving Claire an 'ehh!!?! ggrhrh!!?!'-look.

"Plus!" Claire raises a finger, eureka-style "i know him! he owes me a favor, we're basically married." a proud look on their face.

"Tch, fine" Barou looks down at Igaguri "What about him tho? do we just leave him here? do we take him somewhere while he's still out cold?"

"We should kill him!" Shidou chimes in, with a happy, lovey-dovey tone.

"Naahh that's just gonna make our situation more complicated." Mao and Claire nod in Agreement to Karasus statement.

"How about, we just go to this Saul-guy, we take Igashitty with us and see what advice he can give us." Mao nudges Igaguris flaccid body with her foot.

"Fiinneee~ who carries him tho?" an eerie smile rests atop Shidous lips.

Barou looks at Shidou "I guess you since you asked."

The situation settles and Shidou ends up carrying Igaguri. The group takes the train to Saul's office, if anyone asked what happened to Igarashi they'd say something along the lines of 'our friend fell down the stairs'.

The six of them sat in the fairly small waiting room, all squashed together in one of the Sofas, Mao on Barous Lap and Claire practically on Karasus. Igaguri Was hanging over the side awkwardly, like a Kadaver or something.

The others in the waiting room were looking at them a bit... weirdly, you could say, but wouldn't dare ask any questions. Not after seeing Barou and Shidou being intimidating as always.

Some weird, bald man with a beard walked out of Sauls office. A suspicious duffle-bag in his hands.

"Send in the next one." Saul poked his head out of the door, before disappearing again. The woman at the front desk nodded. "Alright, next up is... uhhh, you guys!" she points at the group of 6.

They get up, Shidou throwing Igaguri over his shoulder, and enter Saul's office.

"Helloooo you guys!!" Saul greeted them enthusiastically. "Great to see ya again, Claire! Are these your friends?" a wide smile on the attorneys face, until he saw the bloodied Igaguri.

"Likewise! Yeah, so, uhm," she pauses, looking at Igaguri and then back to Saul. "We beat up this piece of shit and now we don't know what to do, since it is a felony, right?"

"Well yeah, beating up someone isn't necessarily very friendly." Karasu chuckled.

"True that!" Saul pauses for a moment "Sooo, did anyone see you guys beat him up? Any cameras?"

"I don't think so." Mao looked at Saul. Then taking a moment to look around the office. A sketchy looking sofa on the side. A bookshelf to it's right, and next to the bookshelf, a pillar. Material unknown, but more pillars in the room, forming a semi-circle. In the midst of this semi-circle was Saul's desk, probably made of Coco Bolo. Two Leather Chairs were infront of this desk, for clients to sit on. Between the pillars were muddy-orange colored walls with writing. Mao started reading the text, getting distracted fast.

"So, what do we do?" Shidou got sick of carrying Igaguri and let him flop onto the floor.

"Make sure he doesn't leave any stains on my pretty carpet." He gave shidou a Stern look. "But, uhm, if he doesn't have any direct proof of you guys beating him up, well besides his bruises and whatnot, it's word against word. Plus it's five against one, so in any case he'd be dumb to try anything."

"But the thing is, he's really dumb." Mao said, emphasizing the 'really'.

"Hmmm... well in that case, I think the best idea right now would be to wait until he does anything. Maybe, I dunno, give him a scare, threaten him a little so he doesn't try anything."

"We were gonna do that anyways." Shidou smiles and Barou nods in agreement.

"Well in that case, I think you're fine. If he does try anything tho, reach out to me right away!! 10% discount if you bring my card!"

"Alrighty, Thanks Ji- uh, Saul." Claire jumped up and hugged Saul with vigor.

"Well be leaving then." Karasu smiles at Saul and then looks to Barou and Shidou, signaling they should carry Igaguri.

"Barou, grab his legs." Shidou spoke, after firmly gripping Igaguris hands. Barou understood the plan and carried Igaguri by his Legs, Together Shidou and Barou carried him out of there while Mao held open the door.

"Byeee! Have a good one!" Claire waved at Saul as they left the office. "You too." the attorney said as they all left.

"Sooo, we just drop him off somewhere and wait?" Mao asked. "Yea pretty much." Karasu replied before looking at Claire. "Whats your relationship with that guy anyways?" he questioned.

"Good question..."

They dropped Igaguri off in a place he was, at least somewhat familiar with. It was surprising he was still unconscious, but oh well.

The five of them went out to eat someplace nice afterwards.

Ende Gelände weil ich sonst nicht weiss was ich schreiben kann/soll

[slobodenkirk]

Oh my god my stupid ex was so boring and annoying. I don't know what colour these flags are...

- Doesn't chew pasta, he would eat it straight and then threw up whole pasta when he got too drunk in front of my friends he had never met after being rude to them

-Was mean and rude to and about my brother

- Total incel

-wore a shirt that said racist in it in big letters

- Has a receding hairline

-Would never sit next to me and would actively sit next to my roommate

-He sucks

- He only wore t-shirts and shorts, refused to wear pants ever

- Only drank gin, so at parties he would get too drunk and pass out

- Never wanted to hang out with my friends

- Has a youtube channel about breaking bad and better call saul

- His glasses prescription was so high it changed the shape of his face

- He went home for a week to go through all his Lego to find pieces to build a new millennium Falcon when he already had one

- Was totally autistic but he didn't think he was

- Only ate sandwiches

- Would be kinda rude about my family

- Was painfully quiet when meeting people

- Would hover-hand in every photo so bad

- Every time his roommates would come through the living room he would pull away from me so quickly

- Never pronounced "th"s

- Would watch one episode of some thing then go do something else, when I could just watch a whole season in one day

- Didn't hold his knife and fork correctly

- Would only order eggs Benedict

- Never wore fun costumes to parties

- He did have an Indiana Jones costume that he wore all the time, the only time he would wear pants and button up

- Bought a suit for a formal coz it looked like one Saul Goodman wore

- Would listen to Cruel Summer all the time til I was sick of it

- Never wanted to listen to my music

- Would never keep his facial hair even though he looked way better with it

- Never laughed at anything and if he did it was gross

- Said the r word all the time

- Runs a discord server for his YouTube channel

- Put inaccurate pronouns on my contact in his phone

- Called me lazy

- Called my car a piece of shit

- Never listened to me talk

- Was always on his phone on discord or Twitter

- Aways made comments about me cleaning my room or trying to get a job

- Wouldn't go anywhere with me

- Said that he would cum quickly for Natalie Portman

- Grinded his teeth so loud in his sleep

- Everyone said they've never spoken to him before

- I don't think I know anything about him

- He never asked me any questions and his answers to my questions were one word

- Would always shit on my favourite movies, shows, youtubers, bands

- Said 'I love you' quite early in the relationship and then stopped saying it at the end when I knew we were gonna break up

I should've never dated him, we were good friends, now its fucked up, I just wanna talk to him and send him funny meme and tik toks about Taylor Swift

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #200

Mon Aug 26 2019 [01:59 AM] Wack'd: Alright, here we go. [01:59 AM] Wack'd: FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 1 NO 200: [02:00 AM] Bocaj: WILL IT BE BETTER THAN AVENGERS 200?? [02:00 AM] Bocaj: HOW CAN IT NOT BEEEEE? [02:00 AM] Wack'd: I just skimmed it and an alien does actually forcibly impregna--nah I'm just kiddin' [02:01 AM] Wack'd: So Doom's throwing himself a little pity party and Reed's like "uh, maybe we hang back a minute?" [02:02 AM] Bocaj: hah [02:02 AM] Wack'd: But Ben is, of course, not having it [02:03 AM] Wack'd: Uh...Ben aided in the destruction of his clone by.......?????

[02:04 AM] Wack'd: His memory doesn't take long to revise itself, does it [02:04 AM] maxwellelvis: By being friends with Reed Richards, I assume? [02:05 AM] Bocaj: Being adjacent [02:05 AM] Wack'd: Oh, in the Saul Goodman meaning of culpability whereby any wrongdoing that sufficiently scars you justifies all your actions [02:05 AM] Wack'd: Sure [02:06 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Doom uses a force field in his suit to shove the Four back to buy himself time to see to his clone's body [02:07 AM] Wack'd: ...they were on a balcony

[02:09 AM] Wack'd: Ben does his usual thing of trying brute force and Reed does his usual thing of randomly guessing why that won't work and being right and Ben does his usual thing of grumbling about it [02:09 AM] Wack'd: Wondering if this is a "Reed and Doom aren't so different" moment or just reenforcing the status quo

[02:10 AM] Wack'd: "Leading an armed insurgency into the UN is the same as giving them a present and offering to depose myself, right?"

[02:11 AM] Wack'd: So the mob's gotten bigger [02:12 AM] Wack'd: I like that Zorbo's got a superhero build and bone structure and literally every other Latverian is still drawn like an extra from a Universal Frankenstein picture

[02:14 AM] Wack'd: Doom siccs a tornado on his subjects [02:14 AM] Wack'd: Coulda done that last issue when the protest started but I guess now he's got nothing left to loose [02:16 AM] Wack'd: Then he takes his personal jet, his statue, and "equipment" he's kinda cagey about to the UN [02:17 AM] Wack'd: Daredevil's gonna sue someone

[02:17 AM] Wack'd: Maybe he'll hire that Matt Murdoch guy. I've heard good things [02:19 AM] Wack'd: Meanwhile, the Four escape. Reed slithers through the door's keyhole at great personal risk because touching anything will vaporize him [02:19 AM] Wack'd: They really should just get a fucking sonic screwdriver [02:19 AM] maxwellelvis: It's Operation! The Wacky Doctor Game! [02:20 AM] Wack'd: heheheh [02:20 AM] Wack'd: So Reed, Sue, and a miraculously-okay Zorbo search for and find Doom's secret plans [02:21 AM] Wack'd: While Ben and Johnny free Alicia [02:21 AM] maxwellelvis: Doom's plan, more or less: 1 2 3 [02:22 AM] Wack'd: Sure [02:22 AM] maxwellelvis: More or less. [02:22 AM] maxwellelvis: There wasn't a panorama of that scene I could grab. [02:22 AM] Wack'd: This is a pretty good moment

[02:23 AM] Wack'd: Minus Johnny's cool-guy posturing at the end there [02:24 AM] maxwellelvis: While also trying to play it cool about how little action he's been getting lately. [02:24 AM] Wack'd: Maybe if he tried asking out someone who wasn't afraid of fire [02:25 AM] Wack'd: ...whatever happened to Valeria from the 5th Dimension? Did they break up in Johnny's solo book or did Marvel just kinda forget about her [02:28 AM] Wack'd: So the short answer is Johnny's solo has been over for three years by this point! And yeah after that everyone just forgot her [02:29 AM] Wack'd: Hell Marvel Wiki doesn't mention any followup on their relationship in Johnny's solo book, so [02:29 AM] Wack'd: Into the ether with her [02:30 AM] Wack'd: Anyway--Chapter 2! We're back to doing chapters now! Exciting! [02:31 AM] Wack'd: The Four and Doom have both arrived in NY. Reed and Johnny are fighting Doom directly while Sue and Ben head to the UN [02:32 AM] Wack'd: Sorry, Johnny overdoes it against some areal missiles and retreats back to the Pogo Plane [02:32 AM] Wack'd: Time for the highly-anticipated Reed/Doom cage match [02:33 AM] Wack'd: Not like this is a team book or anything

[02:34 AM] Wack'd: There's a quick recap before the fight and it's retconned the college actually condemned Doom's experiment to go to the netherworld [02:35 AM] Wack'd: Thus ending one of my favorite dumb bits of comic book lore, which is that Doom got a grant for that [02:36 AM] Wack'd: Round one goes to Doom! Reed tries to dismantle Doom's suit and gets electrocuted [02:37 AM] Wack'd: Probably should've remembered he tried that on a robot two issues ago and got the same result [02:38 AM] Wack'd: Round two! Reed's been lured into the MURDER ROOM! Mechanical tendrils, lasers, robots! [02:38 AM] Wack'd: In keeping with Doom's "fair play" policy, all the traps have solutions, but eventually Reed will be worn down and miss a step and get, presumably, murdered [02:39 AM] Bocaj: Wherein Doom is a Saw [02:39 AM] Wack'd: Meanwhile, in the UN [02:40 AM] Wack'd: It occurs, perhaps too late, that it's probably a bad idea to send a giant-size statue of yourself as a gift to the people planning to vote you out of their organization for war crimes

[02:41 AM] Wack'd: Also: wouldn't be a commemoration of the long, proud history of Fantastic Four without some racial/nationalistic caricatures, I guess [02:41 AM] maxwellelvis: Now, these are his Servo-Guards, right? [02:42 AM] Wack'd: These are humans I'm pretty sure based on the last few issues [02:42 AM] maxwellelvis: I just assumed with how tight to the face those nose things are [02:42 AM] Wack'd: Doom doesn't design for comfort [02:42 AM] maxwellelvis: And the identical sunken cheeks on all of them. [02:43 AM] maxwellelvis: It's one of those things like Psycho-Man's mask [02:43 AM] maxwellelvis: At one point in the 80's the inker forgets that it is a mask and just draws him as a very ugly man. [02:43 AM] Wack'd: In fairness that's a lot of Fantastic Four baddies [02:44 AM] maxwellelvis: I know. It's just those sorts of coloring errors bug me. [02:44 AM] Wack'd: So it turns out Doom is planning on doing something to the UN with this statue and that massive hall of mirrors that's also a solar power center from back in 196 [02:44 AM] Wack'd: Bet you forgot about that thing, didn't you? [02:45 AM] Wack'd: So Doom is about to Do the Thing when Reed surprises him by having broken out of the Murder Room [02:45 AM] Wack'd: (He slipped inside the nozzle of a gas gun and exploded out of its ammo tank) [02:46 AM] Wack'd: Wouldn't be a commemoration of the long, proud history of Fantastic Four without Reed pulling a solution out of his ass that the narrative expects us to believe he had planned from the very beginning

[02:47 AM] Wack'd: How did he fit that through the nozzle of a gas gun, anyway [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: "Wasn't easy" [02:49 AM] Wack'd: Reed tries to convince Doom to give up on petty revenge and join the good guys [02:50 AM] Wack'd: But Doom retorts that he's not interested in revenge, he genuinely believes he deserves power, because the murder of his mother proved to him that everyone who's not him is a "superstitious, frightened pack of cloddish morons" [02:52 AM] Wack'd: Doom manages to activate his statue which hypnotizes all the UN delegates into attacking Sue, Johnny, and Ben [02:52 AM] Wack'd: And Doom and Reed finally spend a few pages punching each other a lot, which is what we all wanted, I guess [02:54 AM] Wack'd: "I DON'T CARE ABOUT PETTY REVENGE! ALSO, ADMIT YOU WRONGED ME!"

[02:56 AM] Wack'd: And so, Zorbo takes his rightful place as acting leader until elections can be set up. Sets Doom up with some mental health care too which is nice of him by 70s standards

[02:57 AM] Wack'd: It was nice of the UN to let Doom have his evil hypnotic statue back

[02:57 AM] maxwellelvis: And some attempted biblical symbolism from Marv [03:01 AM] Wack'd: Thus ends the first 200 issues of Fantastic Four [03:01 AM] Wack'd: Jesus fuck [03:01 AM] Wack'd: Cannot believe I read 200 installments of anything ever [03:03 AM] Wack'd: I will try not to take a multi-year hiatus again like I did around the time I hit 100