#he's going to be MAKING FUN of southern accents

[jamiehe4rtsmen]

▶︎ mp4.thruthescreen : scroll-cute!

⚠︎ WARNING ! : dope ass content ahead; including but not limited to: (probably) mentions of drugs/alcohol, (definitely) sexual jokes/themes but no smut, queer people, unproofread writing, HEAVY swearing, kinda cringey & g/n reader. proceed at your own risk.. :)

you picked NEXT... introducing:

thru the screen !

a jschlatt x reader fic

📺 ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။|||| |

would you like to...

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he didn't really remember when he found the youtube channel. maybe it was a long 3am youtube binge, or a niche thing on the recommendation page. but when he stumbled across your channel, dumbass diaries - well, the title definitely caught his eye. the first video he came across was called 50 kids vs virgins - which he had to click on because.. obviously. the suspense was killing him, c'mon!

it was a video of four friends laughing, recorded on a grainy digital camera with the date on the side: 10/2/24 in bright yellow numbers. the four friends were two girls and two boys, and they had that kind of easy-going banter about them that made him actually laugh out loud, instead of that weird exhale-laugh he normally did.

they were loud and all pretty different from each other: they all had a southern accent, but one of the guys was a bigger guy, a dark-skinned dude who was all muscle and always grumbled under his breath that this was dumb, but you could always tell he was having fun. schlatt actually related to the guy pretty much, with his gruff but-also-i-kinda-like-this vibe.

but schlatt was really enamored with you. the whole premise of the video was that the title was a huge clickbait-y title, which you and your friends quipped

[YOU]: but the real clickbait isn't that we have fifty kids -

you snicker, catching your breath before your friend, a girl with long black hair, adds,

[FRIEND1]: - it's that we're virgins.

the gruff guy from earlier cracks a smile, plastering on a cocky grin, huffing as if it were the most preposterous thing in the world and adds jokingly,

[FRIEND2]: i mean, look at us!

to sum of the video, it was a cute, homey fifty subscriber special. you guys had made a cake that read 50 DUMBASSES IN THE FAMILY ! the four of you joked about how the fifty accounts were really fake google accounts that you'd all respectively named john or jane doe, but the bit was you four kept quipping, "we can neither confirm or deny this claim", which made him chuckle an embarrassing amount of times. he felt like a four year old that still thought poop jokes were funny.

schlatt actually really liked the video. it reminded him of simpler times, when he was just starting out, and the grainy old digital camera versus his fancy equipment that he needed to keep his quality up just added to the homegrown charm, especially the raunchiness of the group. you guys were loud, giggling and sailor-mouthed always with a sex joke in between the lines, wiggling your eyebrows before you all laughed your asses off. it seemed like you guys were having fun, which was few and far between on the platform these days.

and, even though he'd never admit it, he pulled up a new burner account (hey, just like the bit from the video!), made a youtube profile with a name he decided was fitting and plastered on the default profile, a green background with a white C in the middle. he appreciated the 'grind', as he called it - you were just four friends fucking around in front of a camera, laughing your way through life. he thought you brought a new, fresh perspective to the youtube space that most creators hadn't capitalized on, and he wanted to praise you and your friends for the waves you'd be able to make in the community. summing all his thoughts into his comment he spent a whole ten minutes on, he beautifully wrote;

CHOPSCHOPS36: lol nice vid

okay, so maybe chopschops36 wasn't freaking shakespeare, but what was he supposed to say? "hey i kinda love ur stuff btw i have like a gajillion subscribers and cool ??" despite his famous internet personality, he was a sucker for the cozy vibe of the classic grainy camcorder that had been similarly used to collect his memories growing up by him and his friends at a young age, starting youtube channels that'd end up going nowhere.

but luckily, schlatt was a man of class if not anything. a hardened man from the big apple who'd gone through the trials of life and poured blood, sweat and tears into his passion - a youtube channel, and accumulated a life, a community, friends, people he looked up to and looked up to him - even meeting multiple of his idols, which were dreams come true, and he was also a man of discipline who was not swayed easily -

yeah, he binged all your videos in one night. he looked like one of those photos they show you of computer addicts, someone in a dark room only illuminated by their computer screen, their eyes bloodshot from the bright lights flickering across the screen. but he couldn't help it, your videos were hilarious! you had the kind of vibe that you were talking to him through the screen, like you two were friends. and sure, maybe this was kind of parasocial, but you were easily his favorite out of the four. while they were all equally cool and added to the vibe, you seemed like the ringleader. unfortunately, you were mostly behind the camera, which gave him the same longing of watching a tv show and having to scrape for scenes of your favorite side character, but that feeling was washed away when he saw you! you just had so much passion and were so happy to be there, you reminded him of yourself.

so, of course, the only logical thing to do was to like and comment on every video the four of you had ever posted, slowly but surely growing more comfortable from random commenter to well-established fan. he'd comment adding onto jokes, asking what next week's comment was, to the point where it actually seemed like he was.. a fan? nah, nah, schlatt wasn't a fan. he was rich and famous and practically the man - (he was a fan).

he'd poured over your recent video, life is as good as you make it. it was in a wes anderson aesthetic, bright colors and stylized text. to his surprise, you were primarily the voiceover. often it was your other friends with the smoother, more elegant voice, but yours was much more human. it had little cracks and dips when you got serious and it shot up to little squeaks when you got excited, which made him laugh, before he caught himself and plastered on a nonchalant expression. you talked about experiences growing up, working, dating - he was enthralled with the video and actually related to most of the points. you talked about how even thinking one positive thing a day made your mind better, about how to drink water and go outside (even though you admitted you knew how cliché that was).

he, parasocially, was obsessed. not in a stalker kind of way, but he happily sat in his gaming chair waiting for your next upload, on the edge of his seat with a dopey grin on his face. your videos just felt so.. real to him, like a real person was behind the camera and not a corporation. there was basically no editing, no jumpcuts or bright colors, so you could see every imperfection and screw up in the videos, just raw footage of friends being friends. he'd tried to branch out in the same way with his japan vlogs (hint hint - even taking a bit of inspiration from you).

📩 ding❕

new video from DUMBASS DIARIES. "ranting about spotify playlists, if taylor swift is a robot, country music and chappell roan because we are here and we are queer".

oh, was he in for a long ride.

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fic a/n: hehe hi ! yes dropping this bomb randomly. i wrote this in a spur of motivation in 20 minutes (no proofread) so bare with me. if i had a fanbase (which i dont think i do?? i dont really know) i probably would've posted a teaser, but i promise to NEVER keep y'all waiting.

-> if you're thinking of an aesthetic for this short fic series, think indie youtube channel meets candy by robbie williams meets sex jokes.

personal a/n: i genuinely have no idea that people read these ! personally i love reading them but idk guys. if you do comment something wacky like what kind of pasta shape you relate to. or tell me your boy/girl drama. im listening. im all ears.

>> divider creds to these lovely peoples!

@kgymz, @w0rld-w1de-web

[fingertipsmp3]

My dream last night gave me the weirdest epiphany. Apparently, “people treat regional accents like they’re a party trick”

[cuntwrap--supreme]

Having to explain to my 57 year old mother that, no, it is not funny to send me photos of a clearly exhausted woman at the airport at 3am who had an accent she thinks makes her stupid. Like. Just tell me what she said that was funny. I don't need a series of photos of this woman exhaustedly explaining to your coworkers what she needs.

[ann1-wr1tes]

Save a Horse, ride a Cowboy

Synopsis: You make the mistake of placing Leon's cowboy hat on your head and you have no idea what the "Cowboy rule" is...

Warnings: Smut, Adult themes, filth

Word Count: 2,692

A/N: Cowboy. Leon. Two of my most favorite things.

-----

Your eyes dart around the entire space around you as your ears are drowned out by cheers and screams for the person who was currently riding a bull. Your friends thought it would be fun to go see a rodeo and so far it had been fun.

You got to see tons of people getting hurled off bulls which was entertaining in itself but you also couldn't help but agree with your friends when they all started to gush over how "hot" some of the cowboys were. Everywhere you looked you saw bandannas, flannels, cowboy hats, and flared jeans. You felt a little bit underdressed wearing your usual jeans and t-shirt but it was still fun getting to see all the hot cowboys and Southern charm.

As your friends ranted about this one man they saw who was about to ride a bull, you found your eyes stuck on someone else. Your eyes were glued to this one cowboy who was busy trying to calm the bull down enough to get the rider on top.

You couldn't see fully from where you were sitting but you could see the man's pretty blonde locks sticking out from underneath his cowboy hot and his crystal blue eyes that narrowed in concentration as he coaxed the bull into temporary peace. You didn't want to admit that you were drooling over him but you knew your friends would tease you if they saw how much you were staring at this guy.

Soon the rider is situated on the bull and a gunshot rings through the air. The gate that leads to the field is kicked open and within a second the bull is running out and thrashing wildly with the rider on top. You can audibly hear all the "ooohs" and "ahhs" as the rider holds on. Your friends are all squealing and cheering themselves as the man almost gets thrown off.

Then with another flail, the rider is thrown off the bull and ends up painfully tumbling onto the ground. As soon as that happens there are people going onto the field to scrape up the rider from the floor as others go to subdue the bull.

You can't help but cheer and holler as well as a smile comes to your face. What a show.

---

After the rodeo was over you wanted to conclude the evening by venturing to a nearby bar. It seemed like a lot of the people from the rodeo came as well as you noticed that once again you were surrounded by Southern accents and cowboy hats.

Your little group made their way to the bar and started to hover around it as the bartender asked everyone what they were getting. As soon as the orders are taken you are about to pay but as soon as you are about to give some cash to the bartender you are interrupted by a thick southern drawl.

"Drinks are on me, darlin'."

Your head turns and you are met with the same face you were admiring earlier. The fluffy blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, and oh…you could see him much better now and god did the man look heavenly in the candlelight that emitted from the bar.

You could now make out the stunning facial features of the man and you could feel your heart speed up tenfold when your eyes grazed over his chiseled jaw and high cheekbones. The way the cowboy hat sat on his head made something buzz inside you.

You are broken out of your thoughts when you hear your friends snicker from behind you. The man even seems to notice your sudden shock as a subtle smirk comes to his face.

"You don't need to do that." you smile nervously as the man's eyes rake over you. You think you might have gotten lost in those eyes. "But thank you anyway."

"No need to thank me, sweetheart. Something as pretty as you should have all the men 'round here buyin' your drinks." He winked at you making your cheeks heat up. Your friends snickered again but you ignore them with a small roll of your eyes.

"The name is Leon by the way, Leon Kennedy." he introduces while holding out his hand. You take it and introduce yourself in return and you're immediately caught off guard when Leon goes to press a kiss against your knuckle.

You were so relieved when you finally got your drinks. You thought you were about to combust just by being around Leon. Leon on the other hand was relishing in your flustered looks and shy behavior, in fact, he thought you were the cutest thing he'd ever laid eyes on.

Though soon your shy, flustered behavior was pushed back by liquid courage. It was sped up by how quickly you were drinking your beers but soon you didn't even notice how you were practically leaning into Leon, muttering things about the rodeo and how hard it seems to ride bulls.

"I mean…I thought the guy was gonna be dead…how he got flung off that thing.." you murmured to yourself with a silly grin as you looked up at Leon.

"Well ridin' is all in the hips sugar~" Leon hummed while leaning back on his elbows. Your stomach fluttered at the suggestive tone and you took another sip of your beer to try and quell your nerves. In an attempt to change the subject, your eyes dart to his hat and a smirk starts to pull at your lips.

"Y'know you look great in that hat…" you compliment as you eye it. Leon chuckles and gives you a smile that has you wondering why it makes your heartbeat pick up.

"Is that so?" he asks. You nod but there's a glint of playfulness in your eyes as you look at the cowboy hat.

"I think it'd look better on me though~" your hands reach out and pluck the hat right off of Leon's head and you place it on yours. You adjust it and tilt it just right on your head like it was on Leon's and then you look at him with a wide grin.

"Well, how does it look?" You ask. Leon seems frozen for a moment as his mind starts to comprehend what you just did. You notice the sudden hesitance for a moment and you almost think that you did something wrong but a smirk soon returns to Leon's face and there's an amused look as he flicks the brim of the hat up.

"It suits you well sugar, but do you know what happens when you put on another cowboy hat?" he asks.

Suddenly you're hit with confusion and it reads all over your face as Leon chuckles. Even the bartender seems to laugh a little and he quickly turns around and starts to clean out glasses when you look at him.

"No…?"

"Well, we have a rule called the Cowboy Rule. If you wear the cowboys hat, then you have to ride the cowboy." Leon explains calmly before taking a swig of his drink. You blink in surprise and you can feel the blush start to creep onto your face. You look down at your drink to hide it.

"Oh," is all you manage to croak out. Your throat suddenly feels incredibly dry. You feel a hand hook under your chin you meet Leon's piercing gaze. His eyes are filled with amusement and it sends shivers down your spine.

"If I do then can I keep the hat?" you cheekily ask. The corners of Leon's mouth tug up and it causes your insides to flip. Your heart begins to beat quicker.

"Wanna find out?" Leon says as he leans forward until his lips are barely inches away from yours. It takes everything in you to not close the space between you two. Instead, you nod your head frantically hoping that he understands your silent request for more.

---

Hungry hands rake across your body as your own hands run down Leons. The feeling of his skin against yours makes every single nerve in your body burn as you slowly unbutton his shirt and he reaches for yours as well. Your bodies collide together like magnets practically, there's such a strange pull that seems to be between you two as your mouths clash together.

Leon's teeth nip at your lower lip and you moan softly as he slides his tongue past your lips and deepens the kiss. In return you rake your hands through his blonde strands, tugging lightly when Leon's hand trails along your sides, going down to rest on your hips.

The cowboy hat still sits on your head as you lean back, breaking the kiss to sit back on your haunches. The sight in front of you was heavenly. Leon was laid back, his legs slightly parted, his shirt halfway unbuttoned and exposing his chest, then of course there was the glassy, lustful look in his blue eyes as his swollen lips were slightly parted.

The entire image made your cunt flutter with need.

You take off the hat for a moment and place it back on Leon's as you yank your shirt up and off your body and then your hands work to unbutton the rest of his buttons on his shirt. As soon you are done, Leon slips his shirt off and yanks you back on top of him by your hips.

In that action, your hips accidentally roll against his causing you both to have a moment of pleasure from the friction.

"Fuck darlin'…need to feel more of you.." Leon huskily utters as his hands tighten around your hips a little more.

With a hum of agreement your rest your hands on his chest and go to straddle his lap a bit better so that your heated core is pressed right up against his erection that is straining through his jeans. Teasingly, you roll your hips again and you both let out a long moan.

"Shit…stop teasin' me," Leon mumbles, his voice rasping and rough as it sends shivers down your spine. You giggle breathlessly, pressing your hips harder against the bulge in his jeans, grinding a little more.

"Why would I stop? I wanna see how many pretty noises I can get out of you cowboy." you coo.

Leon growls in response as he roughly pulls you back towards him, slamming a searing kiss to your mouth. This time he moves his free hand down and it slips down your jeans, finding your clothed clit and he rubs small circles against it. Your hips buck in response and you let out loud moans against Leon's lips.

"That's it baby…let me hear you." He grunts.

It's practically music to your ears as you rock your hips against his fingers as he continues to rub your clit and you feel the knot in your stomach tightening. Leon suddenly pulls his fingers away and you whine. You're left with nothing but the ache between your legs.

In desperation, your hands fly down to Leon's belt buckle and you start to undo his belt as quickly as you could.

"Easy there honey, I'm not goin' anywhere." Leon chuckles. He replaces your hands with his and soon he's tugging his pants down along with his black boxers to reveal his hardened cock. Its springs to life and slaps against his stomach.

You groan at the sight of it. It's big and thick and you almost want to take him in your mouth until his hands are already working on your own jeans.

He unbuttons your jeans and pushes them down your thighs. You kick them the rest of the way off and reposition yourself on top of Leon. Right as you are about to sink down onto Leon's length he interrupts you.

"I think you're forgettin' something.." Leon takes his cowboy hat off and puts it back on top of your head, tilting it just right.

"Beautiful." Leon breathes in a low tone.

"I think it looks better on you." You smile as Leon's hand grazes over your cheek and tucks a stray hair away from your face.

"That's nonsense, it looks stunnin' on you." He smirks and his thumb drags up and down your jawline, gently rubbing your cheek. The butterflies in your stomach flutter even more as he leans in closer to you, your noses brushing against one another.

You rub your slick folds back and forth on Leon's tip and slowly sink down onto his length, letting out moans at the stretch.

"L-Leon… it..so much" You pant between clenched teeth, gripping onto his broad shoulders.

"It's okay sweetheart, let me help.." he coos. The hands on your hips slowly start to help you roll into his, making sure to go slow and his grasp was decently gentle as he helps you build up a good pace.

"It's all in the hips sugar…." Leon whispers in your ear, sending tingles down your spine.

Soon on your own accord, you start to ride him faster. It catches Leon off guard as waves of hot, blinding pleasure course through his veins. He throws his head back with an audible moan as you bounce up and down on his cock.

"Good girl, keep rollin' your hips like that.." Leon praises, his voice rumbling low in his chest.

You nod and do as you are told, your body starting to twitch against Leon, your hands clenching onto his forearms tighter as he starts thrusting upwards, trying his best to push himself inside of you and meet your steady rhythm.

A whimper escapes your mouth as Leon sits up, connecting his lips to your neck. One of his hands trails up your back and plants itself on the nape of your neck as his lips suck and kiss your sensitive skin.

Your mind is spinning, your heart beats furiously. There are no words that can describe how amazing it all feels. Especially as the euphoria grows and the knot in your belly tightens. Leon, in his own desperation to chase his oncoming high, continues to buck his hips up into yours wildly from below.

His head has fallen back against the pillow as he feels your cunt tighten around him.

"Jesus…you feel so good darlin'." Leon groans in appreciation. You don't say anything, only moaning loudly and moving your hips with more vigor. The sounds from your mouth cause Leon to shudder as he watches you move against him. The sound of his name falling out of your mouth is driving him crazy and you look so damn pretty in his cowboy hat.

After a few more moments of bliss, you finally come undone releasing all of the fluids onto Leon's cock as your eyes roll back into your head and you slump down on top of Leon. Leon helps you along by moving his hand down to toy with your clit as you shudder from the waves of your orgasm.

"Look at you, you pretty little thing. So beautiful.." he grunts.

His hand comes up to the back of your neck as he holds you to his chest while burying his nose in the crook of your neck.

Your breathing is heavy and you wrap your arms tightly around his torso, feeling warm all over your body after your climax. Leon sighs as he starts to rub small circles into your back.

"Damn sweetheart, you may just be the death of me." he coos. A soft smile forms on your lips. Your head rests firmly on his chest, and you peer up at him.

"Does that mean I can keep the hat?" You ask with a sheepish smile.

Leon chuckles and rests a hand on your hat-covered head.

"Yeah, I 'spose so. It suits you."

[princessbrunette]

you remembered the first time you laid eyes on jj maybank.

a shitty admin job was the best you could score from your father, the sheriff — something light you could add to your resumé, whilst doing minimal work. you didn��t anticipate working in the local jail to be as boring as it was, despite knowing you were going into a job that consisted solely of checking people in and out and punching names into a computer. you tried to make it as fun as possible, showing up in your cutest miniskirts, fluffiest jackets, daintiest mary-jane heels, but there was never anyone interesting coming in and out the cells, only drunks being thrown into the tank after one too many.

that was until jj came along.

it was like everything moved in slow motion the first time he got brought in. your father had the blondes wrists clipped behind his back, shoving him along the hallways. it was the first young person you’d gotten in weeks, your shoulder finding the door frame as you stare, watching in intrigue. whatever jj had done to get himself wound up in a cell, he didn’t seem remotely sorry about it. the smirk on his face was worn proudly as a medal, even whilst being shoved along by the sheriff he had this swagger to each step. you didn’t even realise you were staring, dressed in all your girly glory until he locked eyes with you.

his smirk spread on his face. jj knew who you were, but that was to no surprise — everyone did. the sheriffs daughter. a title you wore not so proudly, as all it did was get you labelled as a narc by association in high school and barred from any party where drinking or smoking could potentially be occurring. jj’s eyes drag down you, and then back to your eyes, even turning his head to hold the eye contact as he got shoved into a cell.

your father followed his gaze before grabbing a fistful of his white tshirt to hold him straight. “and quit eye balling my daughter, would you?”

he holds your gaze with that amused grin for a moment longer before blinking down at the shorter man. “thats my bad, sheriff.” he drawls in that lazy southern accent of his. you had to have him.

it was over from that point on. you’d seek him out, tired of being associated with your fathers profession and wanting to have some fun for once. jj was more than happy to oblige, infact he couldn’t believe his luck. there was a thrill to the two of you being out in the open together, something in the two of you wanting to be caught — just to see what would happen. you’d even go as far as to makeout against your car right outside the station after you’d finished a shift, jj all but shoving his tongue down your open mouth as his hands grope you all over for other officers to see and relay to shoupe.

jj frequently returned to his temporary cell with all the trouble he’d get in — your glossed lips turning upwards elatedly at the sight of his cuffed form trudging its way through the hall like routine. you’d even gotten to the point of ignoring your father and running to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “oh jayj what’d you get yourself into this time?” you whine, only for him to chuckle it off with the same joke he made each time.

“maybe i just wanted to see you, babydoll.”

by which at this point, your father had yanked you off the boy, sending you away. “go do your work, don’t lemme tell you again.”

of course it drove a wedge between you and your father. but he deserved it! he ruined your social life growing up by shutting down parties and arresting your peers, the least you could do was date one of his hottest cell-regulars. every gaze across the waiting room as maybank checks out was met with your father appearing seemingly from nowhere to ask “you really think it’s gonna work out with a kid like that? don’t come cryin’ to me when you get hurt. i warned ‘ya.” to which you’d roll your eyes and walk away. jj would never hurt you, not unless you asked him to.

he was always desperate to get his hands on you in other ways during your alone time, crowding you from behind at the sketchy bar he’d brought you to and wrapping his arms round your waist.

“your daddy’s gon’ be real mad at me for bringing his sweet little daughter to a joint like this.” he jokes, pressing kisses to the sweet spot behind your ear as you lose interest in attempting to attract the bartenders attention.

“he’s not the boss of me.” you sigh, eyes fluttering at the feeling of his hands and mouth on you. you hear him chuckle, craning round to look at you from the side.

“nah? all grown up now, huh.” he comments, making a weak giggle leave you as you press your ass further into his crotch. “guess someone’s gotta step up then, right? maybe next time i’ll be the one puttin’ you in cuffs. bet you’d like that.” his coarse hands slide down your arms to your wrists before binding them with his hands behind your back, continuing to attack your jaw and neck with little kisses.

“you can do whatever you like to me, jj.” you admit sweetly, and he responds with a kiss to your cheek.

“i know. it’s my favourite thing about ‘ya.”

[lewisvinga]

norman fcking rockwell pt. 2 | daniel ricciardo x fem! reader

part one.

summary; y/n decided to confront daniel after he embarrassed her at dinner.

warnings; cursing

word count; 685

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1

note; requested ! tbh i didn’t know how to write this bc i originally wrote pt 1 as a stand alone 🤒🤒so this lowk sucks my bad yall😞🤕🤕

‘born to die’ masterlist.

masterlist !

“Sunshine!” Daniel called out after closing the front door when the last guest had left. The tone in his voice was back to the happy clingy guy Y/n knew behind doors.

“Why’re you cleaning everything now?” He questioned as he saw her standing by the running sink in the kitchen and cleaning the last of the pans, “Just clean it tomorrow. I wanna cuddle with ya’!”

“Not now, Daniel.”

Her cold tone made him almost flinch. She never spoke to him like that. He furrowed up his eyebrows in confusion. “What’s up with you, my love?” He questions, wrapping an arm around her waist.

She scoffs and shoves his arm away. She turns off the sink, quickly dries her hands then walks away from him. The Australian further furrowed up his eyebrows as he followed her to their shared room. “Babe?” He questions as she heads to the bathroom to wash her face and do her skincare routine.

Daniel was confused. He didn’t know why his girlfriend was suddenly all upset. He sat at the edge of their shared bed, lost in his thoughts.

“Are you about to start your period or something?”

His question earned him a glare instead of a verbal response as she poked her head out of the bathroom. Moments later, she appears in her pajamas. “C’mon, sunshine, just tell me what’s wrong? Did the food make you sick?”

“The wife has you tied down?” Y/n says in a high-pitched tone to mock his friend, “Well you know the Missus. Always bein’ clingy and wantin’ me around.” She scoffed, sitting on the opposite side of the bed and far from Daniel.

“What are you saying-“

“Now why don’t you be a lady and get us a couple more beers and more of those potatoes.” She finishes off, rolling her eyes at his interruption. “Seriously, Daniel? You’re ridiculous. Why should I expect anything different from a man around his guy friends.”

“You’re mad ‘bout that?” Daniel asked with a chuckle. He tilts his head to the side and continues, “It was just a silly joke, babe. No need to get angry about it-“

“It was humiliating, Daniel.” Although her voice was soft and quiet, he could hear the hurt in it. “Their girlfriends all looked at me with pity while their laughs sounded like it was mocking me. It was embarrassing. You humiliated me in front of your own friends and for what?”

He stayed silent, finally recognizing how his words had hurt her. Each word she said emphasized how hurt and upset she felt.

At his silence, she scoffed and continued. “But you’re just a man. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” Y/n sighs, her fingers fiddling with the ends of her hair. “Y’know, you’re fun and wild, especially with your friends. But damn, you don’t know how that shit felt. I felt blue.”

Daniel scoots closer to her and reaches over to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Darlin’, please forgive me.” His voice came out in a genuine whisper. “Those types of jokes are the ones my friends make. I know it isn’t an excuse for me embarrassing you because I don’t need to make the same jokes as ‘em. I should’ve thought twice ‘bout my words.”

“They were stupid.” She mumbles, keeping her eyes on him.

“Yeah, they were stupid jokes. I was stupid for it.” He says with a chuckle. “I know it won’t erase what happened or how you felt, but ‘m sorry. Truly. Believe me, darlin’.” He said the last sentence in a southern accent which was something that always made her smile.

And he was right because she threw a pillow at him as she failed to hide her smile. “You’re on thin ice, Daniel Ricciardo. And I’m going to be listening to Norman Fucking Rockwell by Lana for a long time! You hear me.” She said in between chuckles.

“Promise, I’ll never do or say anything stupid again.”

“But you are just a man…”

“Darlin’, not those types of stupid jokes. But you do make me act stupidly in love.”

[formulawolff]

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ words of endearment - the grid ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

pairing: female!reader x the grid

summary: the words of endearment or pet names the men of the grid would more than likely call you if you were in a relationship with them! <3

a/n: this isn't anything super serious! just something cute i was thinking of yesterday & decided to write it! :))

max verstappen ➵ liefje - meaning "little dear" in dutch. although you may be the same height as him, maybe even taller, he just thinks that term is so fitting, so you. you're his little dear, whether you like it or not!

sergio "checo" pérez ➵ mi amor - meaning "my love" in spanish. it was one of the first nicknames he ever gave you, and it has just stuck since. however, the meaning of it has become deeper and deeper as your relationship with the driver has progressed. he often uses it in interviews whenever speaking of you, just to keep your name private from the nosy press.

carlos sainz ➵ mi corazón - meaning "my heart" in spanish. you are quite literally everything he has ever wanted in a partner, and you treat him exceptionally well. since you have shown him nothing but love from the start of your relationship, you are the reason he keeps going. you keep him motivated to keep breathing, so that's how you got the loving nickname.

charles leclerc ➵ love of my life - you could quite literally ask anyone who charles loves the most, and their answer would be you. that man adores you more than he loves racing, more than leo, and more than his friendships with the other drivers. you are the one thing he loves most, so of course he's going to refer to you as the love of his life.

lando norris ➵ my sunshine - after a tough race one day, you held him in your arms, humming "you are my sunshine" as he fell asleep. ever since that night, he has always lovingly referred to you as "my sunshine", as you light up his dark days.

oscar piastri ➵ honey - the meaning behind this is simple. you're just so sweet like honey, and he cannot get enough of you. even when you're apart, he is craving his little "honey bee."

lewis hamilton ➵ love bug - at first, he used it jokingly, since he thought you "stung" him, injecting him with a love spell. however, over time, it is the nickname he has used it the most frequently. he uses it all of the time: in interviews, across social media, and at the paddock. you will forever be his little love bug.

george russell ➵ darling - this was another one used jokingly, but over time, it really grew on him. you were making fun of his british lingo and accent one day, and so he jokingly stated, "well if you don't like it darling, then you can leave!" yet, it grew on you too, the two of you using it for inside jokes, but for other occasions as well.

daniel ricciardo ➵ my sweet southern belle - he likes to use this one with an exaggerated accent. we all know how much daniel loves the south, so it was just perfect he used it one day with you. also, he likes to think you're a little innocent. (but that could be further from the truth, and he knows it)

yuki tsunoda ➵ my cutie - he just thinks everything you do is so so cute. he can't get enough of your contagious energy, and your presence. additionally, he uses the term whenever he addresses you on social media, which has the fans going wildddd at how pure his love is for you.

pierre gasly ➵ ma moitié - meaning "my other half" in french. he likes to think of it more as "my better half" whenever he uses it. after all, you bring out the best in him. no matter his mood, the occasion, or the location. you are just his person, and he wants you to know that.

esteban ocon ➵ mon cœur - meaning "my heart" in french. you are this man's everything. his sun, his moon, his stars. his entire world. he would be so lost without all of your continuous support and love.

fernando alonso ➵ bebé - meaning "baby" in spanish. although you get mami quite often, he uses the latter because you are his baby. no one else could ever compare to you.

lance stroll ➵ ma belle - meaning "my beautiful" in french. he just thinks you are so breathtaking, and he wants you to know every. single. day. no matter what.

alex albon ➵ sweetheart - not only are you sweet, but you have a good heart. and that is what alex admires most about you, as it shines through in every aspect of your life. so why not combine the two?

logan sargeant ➵ baby girl - look, the man is from florida so i can picture him exaggerating this with a slight southern accent. however, this was a nickname he used from day one, as he did not want you to lose interest or feel like you were unwanted.

kevin magnussen ➵ skat - meaning "treasure" in danish. when you first heard him say it, you were confused, as you thought he was quire literally calling you "shit." however, he made it very clear that you are the one thing in life that he cherishes the most.

nico hülkenberg ➵ engel - meaning "angel" in german. you appeared in his life at a moment where he needed someone most, so he lovingly refers to you as his "little engel." plus, he thinks you just have this warm, inviting light to you that always shines.

valterri bottas ➵ kulta - while the meaning directly translate to "gold" in english, he uses it endearingly as "dear" or "darling." as the english translation suggests, you are so precious to him and he never wants to let you go.

zhou guanyu ➵ beautiful girl - when zhou slid into your dms for the first time, that was the first thing he commented. since then, the nickname has stuck. and no, you never get tired of it. ever.

bonus!

toto wolff ➵ hase - meaning "bunny" in german. if you were to be an animal in his eyes, you would be a bunny. you're oh so cute, oh so cuddly, and well... the two of you may act like rabbits at times (if ya catch my drift)

[iconicstoner]

Jasper Hale and gn! reader they're looking around the stream and they see some Quartzite and reader gets excited (it's their fav.. rock)

typically its found in the mountians

a/n: This was so fun to write! This was actually my first request, so I'm glad to get to write it. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy!!

------------------------------------------------------------

i could listen to you forever

gn!reader x jasper hale (fluff)

words: 535

summary: you find your favorite rock along the river's edge, and Jasper can't help but listen to you ramble.

“Jasper,” you whisper shout to him. Your eyes are only partially open, but you still see something shining in the sunlight towards the bed of the stream. “Jas,” you urge again, this time shaking his shoulder. You aren’t sure why either of you decided it’d be a good idea to rest here, out in the forest, but it’s been some of the best sleep you’ve ever gotten. 

“What is it love bug?” Jasper asks in a soft, sleepy voice. Vampires can’t sleep, but sometimes he gets so relaxed with you that he feels like he could. You yawn, stretching your back, and stand up. One second you’re looking at Jasper resting against a rock, eyes barely open and strands of blonde hair in his face, the next second he’s stood next to you with wide eyes. His vampire speed might be something you never get used to.

“I see something shining over there,” you say excitedly. You absolutely loved all things rocks and crystals, and Jasper knew that well. 

“Well, let’s go look and see what it is, Sugar,” Jasper tells you with a smile. He loves to see you get excited over what you care about, and you love when he calls you those sweet nicknames. The two of you quickly make your way over to the river's age. The sun is hitting just right, and Jasper begins to sparkle just as much as the rock in his hands.

“Is that what I think it is?” you ask him happily. You watch as he rubs his thumb over it, and then holds it up to the light. 

“Why yes, I do believe so,” he says with a smirk, leaning in closer to you. You laugh and gently kiss him. He places the rock in your hand and you begin to exam in it.

“Did you know this is my favorite?” 

“I think you’ve mentioned it,” he says with a smile, “maybe I’ll get it made into a ring for you.” You laugh at his comments, but deep down you know that sounds amazing. “Why don’t you tell me about it?”

“Haven’t I already told you about it?” you ask genuinely. You could talk about this sort of stuff forever, but you don’t because you don’t want to annoy Jasper.

“You have told me about it, but I wanna hear it again,” he tells you as he grabs you by the waist and kisses the top of your head.

“It’s Quartzite, typically found in the mountains. It’s a metamorphic rock, meaning it’s formed by being subjected to high heat and pressure, that’s made from quartz rich sandstone. Sometimes it’s used to make kitchen countertops.” 

“You sure do know your stuff, sweetheart,” he says with a smile. His southern accent is more prominent then ever when he’s calling you his sweetheart. 

“You don’t mind when I ramble?”

“Darlin’, I could listen to you talk about rocks for the rest of my life, which I’d like to point out is the rest of forever.” He kisses you on the top of the head again and holds you close.

“Well, I guess you’ll be learning a lot about rocks,” you joke.

“I can’t wait,” he says, syrupy sweet. 

[star-wrote]

Georgia Peach

Characters: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader | Farm Era

A/N: this is for @ghostboneswrites2 summer challenge!! my first time ever participating in a challenge, and i had so much fun! i obviously chose the peachy prompt hehe. daryl writers! you should join this here! deadline is august 31st :)

Warnings: slightly suggestive, reader has a southern accent, suggestively eating a peach?, mentions of walkers, mentions of death by walkers.

Word Count: 760

(peach divider from @strangergraphics )

The Georgia sun was known to create a wet heat that sticks to your skin if you go outside for more than a second. Your mama always said that the sun is fond of the softest skin. The amount of times you’ve gotten sunburnt growing up proved your mother’s words to be true.

A lot has changed since last summer. The part you miss the most was your mama rubbing aloe on your sunburnt cheeks. She wasn’t around anymore. None of your family was. You blame the biters for that.

You had to run from your farmhouse when it got taken over by the freaks. Luckily, your friend Maggie and her father, Hershel took you in on their farm. You had to work to earn your keep, but it was the amount of chores you were used to at your old home.

Another thing that has changed since last summer is the amount of people you live with. A new group had come looking for refuge on the farm a couple of days ago, and the front yard was scattered with tents of strangers.

Strangers were conflicting to you. Your daddy had the idea that you could never be too cautious around strangers, but your mother always treated strangers with kindness and warmth. Well, you always have been your mother’s daughter.

The first morning with the group, you had woken up at sunrise to go pick fresh peaches for everyone. You knew that they had spent some time on the road and had probably gone without the taste of a fresh Georgia peach for some time. Seeing the smiles on their faces after they bit into the ripe fruit made a sense of pride swell up in your chest. You made it a habit to bring them peaches every morning.

There was one man who had yet to take one of your peaches. Daryl, you heard someone call him. He seemed to be on the same schedule as you; running off into the woods every morning while you were out picking peaches. He always comes back home around dusk and goes straight to his tent, (which was further from the rest) skipping on socializing with the group.

You asked a woman named Carol about him. She told you that no matter what the group says about him, she knows that he’s a good man since he spends every day looking for her daughter. When you asked what the group says about him, she just shook her head and said “all kinds of nasty things.”

You took that as a hint to be weary around the mysterious man… but that didn’t mean he didn’t need one of your peaches.

This morning, you had decided to wake up before Daryl in order to catch him before his search. Hearing the song that the birds were singing, you started humming as you filled your basket with the juicy fruit. You saw Daryl in the distance, coming out of his tent with his crossbow slung over his shoulder, so you made your way over to him.

He eyed you as you approached him and stopped about five feet away from him.

“You’ve been missin’ out on my peaches.” You say to him with a smile.

He didn’t say anything as he took in the lacy dress and hair bows that you were wearing.

“Well?” You held the basket up. “Do ya want one?”

He stayed put as he gestured to your appearance. “Ya always go out here in that? Ain’t exactly practical.”

You bring the basket back down to your side and smirk while looking at his exposed arms that were starting to sweat in the morning heat. “Don’t exactly need practical when I’ve got big, strong men around here.”

He looks at the ground and brings his thumb up to his teeth to chew on the skin there.

“Look,” you start, “I’m just doin’ my part around here and making sure y’all have somethin’ sweet.”

He meets your eyes again and drops his thumb from his mouth. Daryl walks up to you, only stopping when you’re face to face. “Well ain’t you just a peach.”

He grabs a peach from your basket and bites into it in front of you. Some of the orange colored juices start to drip down his chin, but he wipes them with his fingers and sucks them clean.

As he walks away, you let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding in. Daryl Dixon was going to become a problem that you just can’t resist.

[hellishjoel]

god is a woman, but so is the devil

1.2k / pairing: sub brat tamer!joel miller x f!reader

psycho masterlist | main masterlist

summary: joel lets you have control of him for the night - you milk him for all that he's worth.

warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), no outbreak, porn without plot, brat tamer!joel, sub!joel, dom!reader, somewhat established relationship (whatever that relationship may be ((situationship, relationship, etc.)), toxic!couple, swearing, dirty talk, pet names, restraints, daddy kink, f!masturbation, oral (m & f receiving), degradation, a little praise kink, choking on dick, marking kink, 69, m!overstimulation A/N: this was a nice little challenge to help me make my smut more concise! shoutout to @undercoverpena for brainstorming this awesome idea with me! and thank you to @thetriumphantpanda for aiding me in attempting to shorten my smut lol. dividers by the astounding @saradika-graphics

“There he goes,” you coo with a belittling tone, “look at all this fucking cum.” 

Your eyes fixate on the cream-colored mess all over your hand and Joel’s cock, watching out of your peripheral the way Joel’s chest rises and falls at a quickened rate. His skin is rosy with warmth, and body slick with his own sweat. 

You’ve been milking him, orgasm after orgasm, with very little break in between. He was putty between your hands, while his own hands were tied up with his own belt at the bed frame. 

“Okay,” he pants, head of dark curls matted with sweat digging into the pillows, “S’enough. M’done.” 

You playfully snicker and shake your head, hand still stroking up and down his sticky cock as he goes limp in your palm. 

“I think you forget who’s in charge here. Certainly not the one with his hands tied up in a belt.” 

Joel grunts and bares his teeth, face pinched in a mess of agony and euphoria. He’s not sure how many times he’s been pushed to the finish, spilling unexpectedly all over himself in orgasms that convulse his entire body. The more he comes, the more he disintegrates. 

Your devilish little giggle breaks him out of his daydream, his cock sensitive to your touch. He grunts and tugs against his restraints, the restraints he had foolishly agreed to. Handing over power to you was his first mistake, you were too self-absorbed to handle it. 

Now, he’s laid back in the middle of the bed, a sweating, naked mess, while his girl literally sucks the life out of him. 

He can’t help but whimper as you kitten lick around his reddened tip. Joel is forced to clench his eyes closed and grit his jaw as he tries to breathe through the overstimulation. 

“Right, you had your fun, devil woman,” his southern accent is deep and filthy, written over with lust and making his words run raspy. “Now lemme go.” 

He watches as you fake ponder, pursing your lips and looking up in thought. He takes in a sharp breath when you slowly begin to shake your head. 

Joel watches in agony as you lean down and nip at the inside of his thighs, the muscles underneath your lips twitching with excitement. Your mouth moves up to the planes of his abdomen, watching with heavy eyes as you lick a slow stripe up his torso and taste his sweat. 

“But I like telling you what to do.” You muse playfully, innocence lining your voice.

His eyes flutter, heart rate picking up as you dig your nails into the thick muscle of his thighs and drag downwards, Joel grunting the entire time to breathe through the pain. 

The pistons in his brain were flying a million miles a minute. He couldn’t think, could barely speak, he had come more times today than he had all month, and it was driving him mad how you were using him like a little plaything. That was his job. 

He finally decides to play nice, to give into the shifted power dynamic. He can’t take much more of this. His eyes soften and his jaw goes slack, a weak whimper passing through his lips as you suckle a hickey right next to his spent balls. 

“Please, baby,” he gulps, slowly shaking his head and trying to look down at you. “Ain’t got nothin’ left.”

Now that sets you alight.

“What’s that you always say to me, Joel? You can give me one more, baby.” Your voice is seductive and sweet like honey, a Venus fly trap waiting to snap up any man in your wake. 

He shakily breathes out a groveling whimper, knowing he can’t give you one more, he simply can’t. And that’s what he told you, several more times. But you weren’t satisfied with that weak excuse. 

“Maybe you just need a little... motivation.” You coo, stripping yourself of your bra and panties as his eyes can’t help but lust over your pretty body he knows all too well. 

Joel chews at his raw lower lip, bruised by his own teeth as you slowly spread your legs for him. He stares at your glorious cunt, sopping wet and calling his name. It’s tragic, the quiet sob that breaks from his throat as he gawks longingly. If you’d just let him have a taste… 

He said he couldn’t, and he can’t. He was spent. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down in his throat as your hand slowly sinks down to your pretty pussy, fingers running up and down your slick as you let out a little gasp of pleasure. 

Joel wriggles in his restraints again, desperate to touch and please you. He can only watch as your head lulls from side to side as you circle your clit and bury two fingers into your entrance until you’re knuckle deep, causing you to cry out his name.

“You want this pretty pussy, Daddy? Don’t make me ride you, you wouldn’t last a minute,” he’d never imagined you daring to ride him would be such a threat, but it was. You were right, he wouldn’t last, and he’d finish embarrassingly early. Like a damn teenager. 

Then, the worst happens. He whimpers as his cock begins to swell all over again, fattening up as he goes semi-hard against his stomach. 

You spot it almost immediately, a cocky grin on your lips as you crawl up the bed towards him. He whimpers and whines, clenching his eyes closed. 

The man was afraid to let go. You decided to stop torturing him, wanting to reward him for being such a good submissive tonight. 

“Wanna come on your face like you’ve been doing to me all night,” you hum as you work your way up the bed and straddle your cunt over his face, feeling the glide of his aquiline nose against your core and his hot breath fanning across your center. It gave you the chills. 

You lay your head by his thigh and start pumping your hand around his massive dick, hearing him messily moan against your pussy as he eats you up like a starving man. Your sweet juices land on his tongue and lips, burying his tongue inside your walls before moving back to suckle against your throbbing clit.

You force your cries to be silent as you wrap your lips around him. The sensation of your hot mouth instantly makes him curse against you, whimpering loudly as he forces his face more into your pussy to hide his pathetic whines. 

He’s so needy, he’s so close, and you taking him all the way down your throat, gagging around his thick cock wasn’t going to make him last much longer. 

You hollow your cheeks and flatten your tongue, feeling his tip hit the back of your throat more times than you can count. He’s pulsing inside of your mouth. One, two, maybe three more bobs of your head, and he’s bucking his hips into your sloppy mouth, spit slathering down his dick and puddling at his balls. 

His tongue flicks devilishly fast against your clit, causing you to moan around his shaft as he spills hot load after hot load down your throat. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you greedily take it all, your own finish landing on Joel’s tongue not even seconds later. 

Your jaw is aching, throat swollen once you finally pull your mouth from him.

“Such a good fucking man finishing for me, good job, Daddy,” you gulp after swallowing his musky come. 

The room smells of sex and is filled with both of your exhausted pants. Joel’s wrists are rubbed raw from the leather, and he comes so hard that he sees stars behind his eyes while his girl’s juices lay tainted on his tastebuds. 

He’s not so sure if you’re a God or the Devil, but he’s sure he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

psycho masterlist | main masterlist | notifications blog

[cxrsed-angel]

Girls Night Out | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

word count 1k

summary: joel takes care of you after your first girls night out

warnings: mentions of sex but isn’t actually, drinking, age gap, (joel is in his late 50s, reader is in her 20s), mentions of puking

gif credits: @/ pedrohub

“Joel I think your girl had a few drinks too many,” Tommy laughs taking a sip of his drink before walking away. joel says silent prayer hoping you werent making too much of a fool of yourself. 

He knew you had a hard time adjusting to jackson, used to surviving not living, when you told him about a group of girls your age inviting you out to go drinking with them be encouraged it, and tagged along since you were nervous, he expected you to makes some new friends but he didn’t expect those friends to get you drunk of your ass. 

He sighs and sets his drink down, and turns around to see you on top of one of the tipsy bison’s tables, dancing with one of the girls, grinding your hips against hers, the short dress one of the girls gave you, riding up your thigh as you moved your hips, his jaw clenching when hears a few of the younger guys that were watching whistle at you.

“For fucks sake.” he mutters as he approaches the table. 

“Hi ladies, hey sweetheart I think its time to go.” he holds his hands out to you, but you stay on the table, refusing.

“Noo Im having fun, I haven't had fun in forever and Im making friends look.” you gesture to the girls, and they wave as your words slurred. continuing dancing on the top. Joel lets outs a tired sigh, hoping you don't fall off and hurt yourself.

“Can you refill it please.” you beg,  pouting and giving him your best puppy dog eyes handing him your empty glass. he’s about to refuse when Tommy comes over, he pats Joel’s shoulder.  

“That’s what happens when you’re dating a younger girl huh she has to much energy for you.” he jokes as he watches you still dancing and taking a sip of your friend's drink. 

“ Fuck off, Tommy.  C’mon you've had enough darling can you please get down.” he asks again but you refuse again moving away from him as he tried to gently pull you down you lose your balance in the hells you had spent all week learning how to walk in, a foot slips off the table, luckily Joel catches you before you could hit the hardwood. 

 “You okay?” he asks but you're not paying attention. You're focusing on Joel's brown eyes and how they shine in fairy lights strung long the wall. You silently admire him for a few minutes. Not realizing he was speaking to you. “You with me sweetheart?” 

“Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are” you sloppily run your hand up his chest clumsily, trying to be sexy. 

Joel lets out a small chuckle at the state you were in. “Yes baby you have, come on let’s get you home ” he lightly grabs your arm helping you with your footing, one of the girls, just as drunk as you if not more comes up to you. 

“This is joel? you’re right he is hot, you’re so lucky.” you smile and slip out of Joel’s hand taking the opportunity to gush about him more. 

“I know he’s so hot,  you should hear him when he’s pissed. His southern accent gets stronger it’s so sexy, it makes me so we—“Joel cuts you off before you could finish your sentence, blushing a bit. 

“Okay! baby it’s time to go.” you wave to your new friends as joel leads you to the front. He finally thinks he managed to get you out of there one of the younger guys watching you dance blocks the door

“Hey you looked good dancing up there what’s your name.” Joel’s grip on you tightens, he’s about to tell him to fuck off, but you beat him to it 

“Ew, no i have a boyfriend” he looks at Joel hand on your waist and scoffs. 

“Who? not this old fuck, come on I bet the old man can’t even get it up anymore don’t you wanna someone who could go all night doll .” before you could come up with a response Joel fist collides into his nose, you could tell its bad when it starts bleeding, probably breaking his nose.

You hear gasps from everyone in the bar; but before anyone can do anything, Joel is already leading you out the door walking you home. 

After many stumbles and you puke up all the alcohol in your system. Joel finally makes it home into your shared room. He sits on the bed next to you and rubs your back, as you lay down on the bed staring at him. 

“Joel youre so hot” 

He lets out a laugh “you’ve said before baby” he tries to get up from the bed, but you hold onto his hand, making him stay next to you

“No don’t leave please” you start tearing up at the thought of him not being next to you. 

Joel frowns not understanding why you were crying “I’m not going anywhere just gonna get you a change of clothes and some food, maybe a bucket or something.” he tries to explain, but you cling onto him, crying a bit harder. 

“No Joel please don’t leave me.” Joel’s caught off guard by your bawling and sits back on the bed. 

“Okay Im not going anywhere Im right here just go to sleep baby.” he lays next to you but sees you still sniffing and crying. 

“Sweetheart why are you crying,” he asks, full of concern, worried someone did something or hurt you. his worries only grow when you shake your head and refuse to tell him. “C’mon baby it’s okay you can tell me.” 

You take a deep breath wiping your tears and face him “They’re gonna kick me out.” You cry out, Joel’s face frowning confused 

“Who baby?” 

“They! Everyone. Jackson, Maria. I fucking don’t know who does it specifically! ” Joel looks at you, trying to piece together what you’re saying. 

“Why would they kick you out?.” 

You stop cry a little and sit up, “This morning at breakfast I put my dirty plate in the wrong place I put it with the bowls Joel, the bowls! I was gonna fix it but then the girls started talking to me and lead me out talking about girls night out and what time to meet and I didn’t get chance to go back.” Joel stared at you with wide eyes at your babbled confession, he tried to hold in his laughter not wanting to upset you more. 

“Baby they ain’t gonna kick you out because of that okay I promise.” you look at him sniffling, 

“Really?” Joel nodded reassuring you

“Yea it was just an accident, sweet girl it didn’t hurt anybody, I doubt they even noticed.” 

You stop crying and lay down cuddling against him, “ok, but if they kick me you out I’m telling you I told you so.” Joel smiles laughing a little as you closed your eyes slowly falling asleep. 

Joel relaxes as you calm down. He thinks about it and realizes he’s never seen you drunk, he’s seen you drink here and there but never enough to let your guard know, not like this. It makes me happy that he had found a place for you and Ellie, that was safe, and you could relax, He knew that the both of you had been through so much and were forced to grow up fast. It was times like this when he remembers just how young you were, still in your twenties. 

He rubs your head on his shoulder, lying down; he thinks about how he would take care of you every day if it gave you a chance to have a somewhat normal young adulthood. He closes his eyes to sleep, and it’s quiet for a few minutes until he heard your voice again. 

“Joel. I think I need to throw up.” Joel laughs a little before sitting up to help you. 

₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ୨୧ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

Bonus: Joel woke up early to go to the dining hall hoping to grab some of your favorite breakfast foods, he was placing the food in a to go container when he hears a group of whispering behind him. 

“god he’s so hot,” he turns around and sees the group of girls you were with last night; he sees them looking fresh and awake and wonders how they weren’t hungover. he turns back and continues getting your food but they continue whispering.

 “aww he’s getting her hangover food, I wish I had a sexy older man taking care of me.” 

Joel shakes his head but continued ignoring them, moving over to get some coffee. 

“I know I bet he fucks her so good.” Joel eyes widen at the comment and spills the hot coffee on the table and a little on his hand, cursing under his breath. he starts cleaning up when Tommy walks over, making joel jump slightly as he playfully slaps his shoulder. 

“Jesus Joel why are you so jumpy just came to check on your girl.” Joel relaxes and continues filling up the coffee cups. 

“It's - Im fine, she’s fine I actually need to go check on her now.” he answers quickly, trying to leave the dining hall before he hears anymore of their conversations but not fast enough. 

“No, he’s definitely the #1 DILF here. Do you see him?” 

“We don’t even know if he has kids. ”

“He doesn’t have to have kids to be a daddy.” 

Tommy and Joel overhear their conversation as the girls walk by, Joel feels his face starts getting red, wondering how much you told them last night. 

“Were-are they talking about you?” Tommy asks but Joel just shakes his head and heads towards the door. 

“I gotta check on her, know she’s gonna a bad hangover. I'll see you later Tommy” he says as he leaves out the door, hoping to forget that whole situation ever happened. 

[livindeadgirlgrav]

Do you think Vincent can talk out of curiosity ? I like to think if he can he whispers mine in readers ear

Oooooooh I love this!

Do I think Vincent Sinclair can talk?

Honestly yes, I do think Vincent can speak. But I think he chooses not to. I mean we get to see how severe the physical damage left by his extraction from his twin brother, Bo was at the end of the movie. So I wouldn't doubt that Vinny doesn't have some type of speech problems like a speech impediment.

I like to think Vincent's mother wouldn't bully him for his speech but I'm not sure; But I wouldn't put it pass Bo to torment him enough to a point he just stops talking all together. I mean we see how Bo treats him; He's very narcissistic and manipulative. Just look at how Bo is able to abuse his brother enough to make him fall under his command and practically force/manipulate him to kill the towns people and anyone who wonders in. But regardless of all of the abuse his brother puts him through I truly think the siblings love each other just in their own ways.

Back to the topic, I do think Vincent can talk. But I don't see him shouting or yelling anytime soon. I like to think Vincent talks in a whisper/mumble forcing you to pay close attention to him. Also I think that would be the tell tell sign that he trust and loves you. If he does speak to you even in a whisper he's proving how comfortable he really is with you and that's a big accomplishment. I also love imaging what he would sound like, I think he would have a smooth deep voice with a thick accent like his brother. I also like to think he would possibly have a southern drawl kinda like Trace Adkins..(man I love a fine country men😩)

If I continue with my theories, it’s possible Vincent stopped talking to Bo and his father when he was little due to the abuse and it’s also possible Vincent went mute once his parents/mother died. Vincent was a good child and we hear in the movie that his mother thought he was talented(or was going to be talented). What I’m trying to say is that both boys loved their abusive mother, they are very much mama boys so I could definitely see them both suffering from losing her..I mean if we go back to the first time we meet Bo he’s in the church kneeling beside his dead mother (I believe it’s her due to the fact Bo apologizes when he’s in the church searching for Carly.)

But I could go on and on for days discussing my theories about the Sinclair brothers! Regardless I do think Vincent can speak he just doesn’t do it around new people or his mean abusive brother due to being scared of being made fun of. I love Vinny but just give him time to warm up to you and perhaps he’ll have a very small conversation with you. 🖤

Thank you tons for the request!! I love when you guys ask me questions like this! I love seeing others opinions and sharing my own! 🖤🖤

[worksby-d]

Your Age is Showing

Pairing: Andy Barber x fem!Reader

Summary: Your Halloween costume makes Andy's old man brain short circuit, but he’ll get over it.

Warnings: Age gap

Word count: ~400

Ghost kitty divider by @youngadulhood 🤭

Making your way downstairs, you grab your sweatshirt off the railing, the one that Andy always jokingly threatens to throw away if you don’t start hanging it up. 

Laughing to yourself, you take the last few steps toward where he’s sitting at the kitchen island, working as always. 

“You’re sure you don’t wanna come with?” You ask, draping your arms over his shoulders to lean down and kiss his cheek. 

You know what his answer will be, but you like teasing him. A Halloween party definitely isn’t his scene, and you’re completely fine with that. When you brought it up to him a month ago, he told you he wanted you to go and have enough fun for the both of you. 

“I’m sure,” he chuckles. He brings a hand up to rest over yours on his chest. “Too late to get a costume now anyway. Which, speaking of…”

He hasn’t seen your costume yet.

Turning around in his barstool, his eyes widen instantly seeing how skimpy your outfit is. He doesn’t know what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t the short denim shorts and tied-up plaid top that’s barely keeping your boobs in place. 

“Cowgirl,” you wink, tipping your cowboy hat at him.

“That’s your costume?” His eyes wander to your exposed midriff. “Where’s the rest of it?”

You can’t help but laugh, putting your fingers underneath his jaw to force his mouth closed. 

“Your age is showing, babe.”

“There’s a lot more than my age showing right now,” he scoffs and you playfully hit him.

You pout, pretending to care about the stunned look on his face. “You really don’t like it?”

“Won’t you be cold?” 

The smirk that he’s trying to suppress tells you that he’s fucking with you now and you shoot him a glare. 

His gaze softens, and he reaches out to pull you closer, resting his hands on your ass as you lean down to kiss him. 

“Easy, partner,” you giggle, pulling away from him when you feel him deepening the kiss, warning him with a fake southern accent.

“I’m teasing,” he says softly, dropping his hands from your backside to hold yours. “I’d rather nobody else look at you the way I am right now, but…” He shrugs. “I know who you’re coming home to later, so that’s all that matters.”

“You’re sure?” 

“Of course.”

“Good,” you smile. “I didn’t want to take it off. That’s your job when I get back in a couple hours.” You bat your eyelashes at him and quickly escape his hold before he can trap you in place. “Bye, baby!”

Tag list: @patzammit @denisemarieangelina @thummbelina @pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc @astheskycries @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @la-cey @turtoix @katiew1973 @harrysthiccthighss @tvckerlance @rocketrhap3000 @mrspeacem1nusone @murdcox @geminievans1 @doozywoozy @americasass91 @dwights-new-plague @wwwmarissa92 @redhairedfeistynerd @whxre4cevans @aubreeskailynn @white-wolf1940 @melchills-j @xoxabs88xox @before-we-get-started @chrissquares @christowhore @ice-dtae @mariestark @justile @rogersbarber @dilfbarber @livstilinski @payperhearts @vintagestarlight @gitasor @chaeycunty @miss-ariella @bemysugarbean @t-stark35 @seitmai @reginaphalange2403 @raelorns21 @mrsgweasley @pandaxnienke @brandycranby

[thekissofaphrodite]

Could you please do Clarisse La Rue X female reader, where the reader is a daughter of Hephaestus and they offer to try and fix, and possibly improve, her broken spear?

THIS IS SO FUN TO MAKE!! TYSM FOR REQUESTING <33

Smudge

Clarisse La Rue X Daughter of Hephaestus!reader

Summary: Fixing a damaged spear and a molten heart.

Warnings: Lovesick Clarisse (+kissing) Language 🫢

Author's Note: I wrote this while there's a literal program going on in my school, I'm shameless 😶

——

There was an eerie and an uncomfortable silence in the Ares Cabin. Apparently, Capture the flag this day didn't go well. Hence, Clarisse La Rue terrorized her siblings, snapping at them and most probably WILL strangling them to death. But one of her siblings finally opened their mouth and said something worth hearing; "I heard The Hephaestus Cabin can take damages like that, You'll have to pay five extra drachmas though"

Despite the disagreement and feud between those two cabins because of their fathers, Clarisse never got her wallet out so fast and ran towards Cabin 9, clutching the remains of her broken spear in hand.

The Workshop-like cabin was in the distance, There was a small queue of campers, waiting for their armours and weapons that they commissioned and repaired.

Clarisse, Being the arrogant, Daughter of the high tempered war God, pushed those campers away, earning groans and nasty side-eyes.

The first person clarisse saw was you, Forging a bronze shield with a hot iron. Your hair held by a huge claw clip in a bun, A brown leather apron was tied on your waist and neck, There was a bead of sweat that rolled down your from forehead to your cheeks, using the back of your hands, you wiped your cheeks, a smudge of charcoal appeared on your cheeks, But you kept going, Unaware.

Clarisse stood there awkwardly, waiting for you to look up and notice her, but you seemed pre-occupied, Just as she was about to clear her throat, Your halfbrother crossed his arms in the table next to you, glaring at Clarisse.

"Oi, La Rue! Gonna stand there like a damn statue? My sister ain't got all day" Your brother addressing Clarisse with his heavy southern accent caught your attention, You looked up at her before dismissing your brother away.

"I got it, Devon. Besides, I'm almost done here, I can take her in"

Your brother's eyebrows furrowed.

"Look, Sis, you've been forging all day since 6 AM, Your wrists are gonna fall off any second"

You laughed.

"I'm pretty sure dad's not gonna let that happen, And...I think I can see Mila peeking over there"

The mention of your brother's girlfriend made him blush madly, Near the entrance, a pale girl with freckles and light brown hair wearing a jumper over her orange camp halfblood shirt was waving at your brother excitedly while holding a small punett basket full of strawberries.

He then rubbed the back of his neck before excusing himself, bringing his girlfriend into his arms.

It was now only you and clarisse inside the workshop , there was a moment of silence before clarisse broke it by placing her damaged spear on your table that made a loud clattering noise.

"Are you able to fix this?" Her voice cracked a little, you felt pity as you examined her spear. Clarisse looked up at you, there was a glint of hope in her eyes.

"It looks repairable, But the electricity.. I'm not sure, It's not going to be that electric, How did this happen anyway?"

Clarissed frowned.

"Jackson"

You stared at her in disbelief.

"That twelve yearold boy did this?"

"Yes— Why does that matter? He's a brat, if I could just snap his neck into two—"

"Hey," you whispered.

"He's just a kid, Let him be. I'm sure I'll get this done in no time." Comfort and reassurance lacing your voice, as you held her hand gently.

You could've sworn you saw Clarisse La Rue blush at the contact.

"So...Are you free?" Clarisse said all of a sudden, It was probably the most cheesiest way of saying 'Will you go out with me' But you won't complain, It's Clarisse.

There was a hint of playfulness in your voice as you responded "Are you asking me out?" Arms folded on your chest as you stared at her in amusement. The Ares girl blushed once more and rubbed the back of her neck, It was almost an unbelievable sight that THE Clarisse La Rue was blushing and acting flustered in front of someone, she mostly acts brute and mean, like totally mean to the point that if she was spotted in a crowd, people would part way.

"Isn't it obvious?"

You almost couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"I'd love to"

Clarisse La Rue was screaming on the inside, but still, she kept a neutral expression, her eyes darting for her spear to yours.

"Great! I- uh... I'll come back tomorrow"

"For me or the spear?"

"Both"

——

The Ares cabin was peace and quiet in the morning, with Clarisse's siblings snoring away, the sun rising from the horizon signalling Apollo's coming, and birds singing softly.

Clarisse never thought she'd be like this, up early in the morning just to get a glimpse of a girl. Her whole life, she devoted herself to making her father proud, training every single day until her limbs went numb, fingers calloused and body sore, yearning for a single praise from her father. But it did. It worked, He gifted her a spear, an electric spear that she deeply treasured, the same spear that broken by that pathetic newbie.

You were her only hope.

So she sneaked out quietly, Carefully trying not to wake her sleep deprived siblings.

each footstep she took towards your cabin made her extremely nervous, but she kept her composure and held her head high like a true daughter of Ares.

Once she reached the entrance, her hands found the door knob and carefully twisted it, Letting it open, She saw you again, But this time you were sleeping peacefully on your work table, dust covered your face while her spear was placed in front of you, good as new with a red ribbon tied to the handle.

You must've pulled up a whole nighter.

She was caught off guard when you slowly started to steer from your sleep, moving uncomfortably.

Clarisse didn't know what to do, so she watched you carefully while you tried to process the world, still dowsy. You saw Clarisse and almost screamed.

"HOLY SHIT— CLARISSE?!" You yell a little too loud because you heard a loud yet distant 'SHUT UP!' coming from your siblings' room.

She just stood there, grinning shyly.

"I'm too early, am I?"

Your eyes found the clock up in the wall that read; 4:36.

"Way too early..."

You looked at Clarisse, then the spear on your table, Sighing.

"..and this was meant to be a surprise"

Clarisse chuckled.

"The spear is the least of my problems, I came here to see you"

Silence

"Me?"

"Yes, you...Do you wanna watch the sunrise?" Clarisse asked, carefully watching your expression, her cheeks flushed with red.

Sunrise?

You love sunrises..

"You didn't have to say it twice." Quickly grabbing your scarf, you held Clarisse's hand towards the fields.

The walk was long and quiet, with only you and Clarisse's breathing, and your boots crunching on the moist grass beneath it.

Once you two reached the small hill, you sat down and leaned back, Clarisse did the same. The sun was slowly rising, signalling Apollo and Aurora's arrival.

"Sorry for the unannounced intrusion earlier, I—"

"You couldn't wait to see me?" You chuckled softly.

Clarisse blushed again.

"Yes, That.." She couldn't admit that it was a little embarrassing admitting that she missed you.

But she missed more than you.

She missed your smile, She missed the way your vanilla perfume mixed with the copper and iron inside you and your siblings' forge, creating an irresistibly intoxicating smell. She missed the way your brows knit together while you focus intensely on hammering out a sword into shape, she missed the way your baby hairs stick on your sweaty forehead, she missed the way your apron wrapped perfectly around your body, bringing out your figure.

She missed everything about you.

You two were engulfed in a comfortable silence, with birds chirping and the trees swaying softly. she turned to you, but before she could speak, she noticed the smudge of charcoal on your cheeks from yesterday, it was a little faded, but still pretty visible.

so acting in her instinct, she moved closer to you and brought her hands on your cheeks, you were a bit startled, watching her wipe your cheeks softly as if tho you were the most delicate porcelain doll.

"Clarisse— What are you—" when she pulled her hand away, you saw a dark smear on her fingers, realization suddenly hit you, you embarrassingly looked away and tried to wipe the mess itself, but Clarisse's hands pushed yours away.

Her palm was now cupping your cheeks, and your gaze fix upon her.

Your heartbeat started beating faster, so did hers.

Clarisse didn't know what made her feel this way towards you, maybe Eros was spying on her and shot her an arrow, maybe Aphrodite was playing games because this was an alluring feeling that she had never felt before towards any person, Yeah, maybe she had a relationship with Silena Beauregard, but it was out of loneliness, Silena needed someone before she even met Beckendorf, and Clarisse needed someone before she met you.

You were the one that brought light to her day, the one that encouraged her to wake up every morning every time she felt little to no enthusiasm.

and now here you are, inches away from her lips while the sun rises.

It wasn't long before her lips touched yours, a burning and a twisting feeling inside your stomach along with butterflies erupted in you. She pulled you closer by wrapping her muscular arm around you waist. Her lips moved in sync against yours, your calloused fingers found her hair as you ran your fingers through it.

And it was pretty much the best sunrise kiss ever.

A/N

HELLO! I'm back with my first request from my inbox! I do hope you guys like this, i know it's been a month since i disappeared but fear no more— I will empty my inbox first before re-opening my requests! SO...STAY TUNED! ANY REQUEST I MIGHT POST MIGHT BE YOURS!

[marksbear2]

COOPER ‘THE GHOUL’ HOWARD X MALE READER

Headcanons!!

I really recommend watching fallout, I’ve been so in love with it and especially my man Cooper.

Warnings!! ⚠️ Some headcanons will include smut!! It’ll be a mix of fluff and smut!!! And some will before the nuke. Includes Gn, FTM of Afab reader, and male reader. ⚠️

— He has a hate and love relationship with you whenever you mock his accent. It really throws him off during a argument. It makes him lose his thought process.

— When your not doing it in a middle of a argument he finds it cute and attractive. He starts chuckling and smiling like some teenage girl.

— He threatens you sometimes saying he’ll tie you up and leave you for dead or raiders or scavengers to find and kill. 

— He’s been protective of you even before doomsday. He hates anyone even standing to close to you, or when you help survivors.

— Often puts his cowboy hat on you and tells you the ‘Cowboy hat rule’ and you fall for it every time

— You and him making out while his bounty is on the floor tied up. You and him disappearing off somewhere leaving the bounty just to come back with clothes a mess and wrinkly with either you or him with a limp or wiping the corners of yours mouths.

— Him manhandling and being rough with his bounties to show off to you and to get you jealous.

— He often called you inside his dressing room to make out one last time before he went out and got on camera or two have a quick fuck trying to stay quiet so no one hears.

— He kisses you during an argument to shut you up. 

— He really has a small temper and accidentally says something either hurtful or goes off on. He apologizes by going on his knees and taking your hands apologizing with his accent.

— When having sex and he gets all overstimulated he whines and his thick southern accent becomes all cracky and whining becoming completely pathetic.

— He loves it when you become out of no where dominant. 

— He secretly gets off to you just holding his lasso or any type of rope. He himself doesn’t know why it turns him on so much at the sight.

— When he’s being the dominant one he would humiliate you with his harsh and cold words forcing you to accept them and sometimes when he wants you to repeat them for him. Telling you what you are.

— Him finding a cowboy hat not exactly like his but it’s something as you two walk around in the wasteland in cool cowboy survivor like outfits.

— Really good with his fingers. 

— You probably found him first after the nuke and such looking at the damages to the his body and skin. You comforted him for years telling him that he’s still the handsome dashing movie star Cooper you first met.

— He really hates when you two have to spilt ways, even if it was for months or the smallest a day or hour. He really is attached to you and wants to be at your side every second wanting to make sure your okay. He wants to the one to protect you.

— Since you two are living in the apocalypse he rarely sees you completely lean. So the first time he saw you without dust, or blood or dust he fell in love with you all over again. Touching your body carefully and worshipping you and also like some damn dog rubbing his hard on against you.

NOW VAULTER AND TRANS (FTM) AND AFAB READER.

— If you were a vaultie he often called you it and makes fun of your outfit. He treats you exactly what he thinks of the vaulters. 

— He was the first person in years, ever since you got in the vault to have sex with. It was like losing your virginity all over again just to now some bounty hunter.

— Duding a argument he always has this one like that “Your a vaultie, you wouldn’t understand.” He knows it pisses you off but he doesn’t care especially during an argument but at the end of it he always feel regret.

— He lasso’s and drag you you around since your a vaultie and doesn’t trust you enough to be in the Outland by yourself.  He treats you like some newborn baby.

— The first time you two met you two were always going back and forth over and over to the point you got him so angry he shoved you down and forced you on your knees and fucked you right there in the outside in the middle of the open it wasn’t like anyone would see. But you were fresh out of the vault and hadn’t had sex in forever you had orgasm and orgasm he felt like the king of the world.

— He helps you with dysphoria by finding the most masculine clothes he finds off the people he kills and gives it to you as some sort of gift. 

— Doesn’t hesitate for a second and shot someone the moment they misgender you went off their tongue shooting them right in the chest then head.

— He would wrap your chest with bandages.

— Whenever your feeling down he would and very willing to eat you out whenever he can. He would bury his face in it licking and sucking your clit while he fingers you like his life dependent on it. He wouldn’t even care about his own pleasure and only focused on you. He calls your clit your cock and loves to suck it. 

— He loves seeing his cock move in and out of your pussy, he loves rubbing it against it. Always promises just to do the tip but ends up slipping it all inside. He fucks you while rubbing your clit and loves getting you all wet and excited to make you put your clothes back in.

— He would stay up all night comforting you whenever you have second thoughts about being a man.

THE END

[princessbrunette]

jj is so funny because he doesn’t even pick up on half the looks you’re giving him.

he’s always oblivious for a little while, tugging you around with him on a pogue mission only a few hours after he made you cream on his dick so hard you cried. you’re quiet, uncharacteristically so — not even intervening like you usually would when he pipes up with a dumb idea. you physically can’t. you can’t see any of his faults like this, only latching on harder to his charisma and the way he can command the groups attention at the drop of a hat.

you’ll take any excuse to touch him, giving him the big doe eyes as you cling to his bicep listening to him ramble. “look, i’m tellin’ you guys — it’s a solid idea. we got nothin’ else so i suggest y’all listen to me, honestly.” he clucks in that slightly southern accent that makes your tummy get warm. john b sighs, turning his attention to you.

“you allowing this?” he asks and you simply nod, unable to offer anything but a hazy smile.

when arriving to the abandoned building you were meant to be investigating, you get separated for a little bit — much to your devastation. you wait outside on look out with kie and sarah, whilst the boys check out the inside. jj flips a torch in his hand, chipper as ever as he strolls through the building, looking around.

his two friends eye eachother before speaking up.

“so, uh… jayj, i hate to be the one to tell you that you’re totally blind, but i think your little fangirl out there has been craving a little something from you.” john b arrives at his side, addressing the elephant in the room that the blonde seemed unaware of.

“what are you yappin’ about, dude?” jj is distracted, lifting a cover off some old tools lying around on the floor, making a mental note of how they might help them in a jam.

“your girlfriend looks like she’s constantly about to jump your bones.” pope calls bluntly from behind, a few strides back. jj’s attention is captured and he blinks at the two boys who stare at him with knowing smiles. he glances between the two of them before shaking his head.

“oh, nah — gave it to her real good this morning. had her cryin’ on it n’shit. ain’t no way she’s goin’ again, atleast until tomorrow.” he converses casually as they continue down the creaky path. john b and pope look at eachother with clear realisation on their faces, and the brunette slaps his shoulder.

“so that’s what that face is about… okay. she’s uh… dickmatised, man.” he presses his lips together in a smug smile and jj raises an eyebrow.

“cant just make up words, dude. its not fair. some of us struggle with regular words let alone that bullshit.”

“look, all we’re saying is we are proud of you jj. you’ve clearly been putting in the work.” pope teases making john b chuckle, nudging his arm against your boyfriends.

“y’all are so weird. but yes, for a matter of fact, i have.”

once reunited with you, he can’t hold back his own smirk, tonguing at the healing cut on his lip at the way you agree with just about anything he says, constantly reaching to run your hands along his skin. he finds fun in teasing you, purposely flustering you because he can, turning his whole body to face you and imposing in your space.

“damn, lil’ bitta’ dick and you get shy on me? thats actually very cute. i’m flattered.”

maybe you could go again, after all.