#he's fishing rn though. they know not to interrupt a fishing man lol

[tezzbot]

Playtime :]

[kirishwima]

Hey there cool bean! So.. I absolutely love Hance and I also absolutely love Fake Dating, Wrong Number and that "whatever you write on your skin appears on your soulmates skin" Soulmate AUs and I'd love you forever and beyond if you could write a normal life/pre-Boltron OS about one of these because that would be like the most awesome thing ever ;^;

Hey lovely!

So funny thing is, I love Hance a lot too and also really like all three ideas sooo i tried adding all of them into one fic lol ;u; hope you like it!

*****

Hunk stared at the text, his phone’s screen blearing and blurring his vision with its brightness.

To say he was…confused, would be an understatement.

He looked to the message once more, giving it another quick read.

From: Unknown

>Dude hi, look, i knw we ain’t that close or anythin but i rly rly RLY need u to call me and pretend ur my bf rn

Hunk sighed and scrolled down, reading the next chain of messages.

From: Unknown

>this creepy dude is hittin on me and idk how to tell him to back off so cmon pls call me n pretend ur my bf u don’t even have to talk or anythin

From: Unkown

>im gonna owe u like 100000 coffees cMON

It was a do-or-die moment, Hunk knew that.

He knew that the best option would be to ignore this messages-they were obviously not intended for him in the first place.

On the other hand…the person did seem really stressed out. Hunk knew if he was in the situation this person was in, he’d more than likely do the same thing, his fingers shooting a text to his best friend Pidge faster than you could say ‘burrito’.

It was a do-or-die moment.And Hunk decided to go for it full force, before the little anxious thoughts tugging on his skin pulled his barely existent bravado away from his grip.

He clicked on the unknown number and let his phone ring, shakily bringing it close to his ear.

The first beep went by unanswered, Hunk’s anxiety only heightening at the sound.The second beep followed, yet before a third one could be heard, the person on the other line picked up.

“Hello?”

The voice was sweet, a light pitch of anxiety clouding over it, yet even with the added stress and the distress of the phone, it was still one of the nicest sound Hunk’s ears had ever heard.

“U-uh, yes?”

Hunk mentally slapped himself, shutting his eyes and shaking his head.Nice going Hunk, he chided himself, way to show you’re intimidated by a person you haven’t even seen before

“Awe babe!” the voice cooed, the words of affection making goosebumps run over Hunk’s body, “you changed your phone number after all? I told you it was about time to!” the person continued, the sounds of background music and chatter now registering in Hunk’s mind.

“I-uh-yeah. Phone number. That’s right.” he stumbled, somewhat astounded at how easily this play of affection rolled through this person’s mouth.

“Well I’m glad you called me. I was just at your favourite coffee shop and wanted to ask you what coffee you wanted me to bring over! I didn’t see you at all today, I missed you.”

Hunk run a hand through his mark absent-mindedly, enjoying the soft voice over the line.

“A coffee would be great, yeah.” he mumbled, slowly feeling more at ease.He wondered if this person had him on loud speaker, or if his own little show of fake-dating this person was more unnecessary than helpful.

“What? You want me to go over straight away? Are you sure?”

A-ha.

Hunk huffed a laugh, quickly realising that the only person that could hear him right now was this guy he was talking to.

“Alright, alright, I’m on my way! Love you, see you in a bit!”

He heard the person mutter something, another somewhat gruffer voice answering back to him, quickly followed by shuffling, the sounds of the coffee shop promptly disappearing.

“…are you still there?” the voice asked, the tone much quieter than before.

The high pitch and sweetness was a show, after all.

“Yup.” Hunk replied, a profound comfort washing over him, all his previous stress diminished.He slumped onto his bed with relief and sighed, waiting to hear an explanation from this unknown person.

“I’ll just go ahead and assume you’re not Steve, are you?”

He laughed at that, shaking his head despite knowing the person he was speaking to couldn’t see him.

“Afraid not. And I guess you didn’t actually mean to text me did you?”

The voice laughed, the sound like water from a creek, crystal clear and joyous to Hunk’s ears.

“No, no, definitely not.” he laughed, “Still, thanks for helping me out. There was this dude that wouldn’t take no for an answer. He only backed away when he thought I was talking to my boyfriend or, whatever.”

“Yeah dude, I hear you, this kind of people are the worst” Hunk grumbled, scrunching his nose in distaste, “Why can’t they just respect another person’s boundaries and get that ‘no’ means ‘no’?!”

The person on the phone hummed in agreement.

“Thank you, that’s exactly what I was thinking!”  he huffed, “it’s so easy and yet some people are just..ugh” he groaned in defeat.

Hunk laughed, letting a short silence stretch that really wasn’t as uncomfortable as Hunk thought it should be.

“I never got your name by the way.” the voice spoke up, a shyer tone in their sound, “I’m Lance, Lance Sanchez.”

He let the name roll through his mind for a moment, trying to think if he’d ever heard it before. He was certain he never did, but there was something about it, about this person’s voice, their mannerism, that made Hunk feel a familiar tinge in his chest, as if something in his heart was tugging it’s way to his brain, smacking it and saying ’of course you know it, silly!’

“Hello?”

Hunk shook himself out of his trance.

“Yeah hi! Sorry, sorry, just tryin’ to figure out if I know you from somewhere. I’m Hunk Garett.”

The voice-Lance, Lance huffed, the sound making white noise travel through Hunk’s speaker.

“Man, I thought you were going to hung up on me or something. Which I’d totally get, but you know, putting a name to my life-saver would be nice-“

“Life-saver? I hardly did anything!” Hunk interrupted, his face reddening at the characterisation. Here he was, talking to thus guy with this soothing voice, that was calling him a life-saver?

“Yes life-saver, don’t be humble, and anyway, as I was saying, putting a name to the voice would be nice, but you know what would be better?”

“W-what?”

“Taking said life-saver with his honey-sweet voice out for a coffee. You know, as a thank-you for getting me away from a creepy flirt even though you had zero obligation to?”

The words died in Hunk’s mouth, his eyes widening at face heating up.

Coffee? Honey-sweet?

Was…was this guy asking him out on a date?!

“I-no-there’s no need-“

“Aw come on, I did promise you a bunch of coffees in the text. Well, I thought I was promising Steve coffees, until I realised I’d saved his phone number wrongly in the first place, but anyway! The offer stands if you want it!” Lance cheered, the sounds of a bustling street failing to dull his loud voice.

Hunk mulled over the idea, feeling like a fish far, far, far out of it’s waters. So far it could just as well be a fish that boarded a plane and landed onto the Sahara desert.

“Look”, Lance continued, his voice more sullen than before, “it’s totally cool if you don’t want to, and I’m sorry if I over-stepped my bounds. Hell, I just escaped a creepy guy, I don’t wanna sound anything like him myself. All I’m saying is, I owe you one, and if you want to, I’ll be more than happy to repay you.”

“You can even hit me up on social media if you want. I’m pretty much everywhere with my full name, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, you name it. Or you can just hung up and we never speak again, that is totally cool too, and uh, thanks again for helping me out-“

Lance started rumbling, and something in Hunk just lit up, a small bold voice flexing and yelling at him to just do it, completely trampling the shyer, more worrisome voices nibbling at his mind.

“I’ll add you on Facebook. Or snapchat or something and we can uh, see and decide. I mean, are we even in the same city? Or the same country?! You could be in the other side of the world for all we know!” Hunk mused, suddenly realising all the ways this could go wrong. Even his little just do it voice had no come-back to that.

“I mean, your phone number’s nearly the same as my friend Steve’s, and it’s a local phone number so…probably not?”

Hunk stilled.Oh. Right.

They both laughed, slowly understanding how obscure the situation they found themselves in was.

“Alright. I’ll add you on facebook. I’ll talk to you there?”

Lance hummed, his smirk evident even through a phone conversation.

“Sure thing”, he smiled, and continued, “Nice to meet you, Hunk.”

His voice calling Hunk’s name felt more surreal than any conspiracy theory Pidge had ever brought his way.

“I-Nice to meet you too Lance.”

Hunk was hooked.This was a do-or-die moment, and he was pretty sure he just broke the do-or-die system.

*****

Lance’s squeal was loud enough to wake up his flatmate, if the knock on his door along with Keith’s rumble of ‘cut it out Sanchez’ was enough of an indication.

But he didn’t care, not right then and there.

He held his phone in his hand since the moment he clicked the hung up button after his conversation with Hunk, holding it tightly like prayer beads, as if that would make his wishes come true.

He waited for this blessed notification for over an hour, a cruel, agonising, torturous hour, and no, he was not being dramatic, or extra as his friends liked to call him, he was being dead-ass serious.

The moment Hunk uttered one single word to him, he felt the heat rise to his face, his heart thudding and threatening to jump out of his ribcage and run around the city to find the cause for it’s irregular beating.

His voice was like honey and cinnamon and spice and everything nice, dammit, Lance was no poet, but the way this boy talked and the way he laughed did things to his brain, things he was certain brains were not supposed to do, like agonise for an hour wether or not a stranger he knew for a total of five minutes would add him on any of his social media or not.

So when his phone beeped with a Facebook notification that spelled out ‘Hunk Garett has sent you a Friend Request’, Lance was not ashamed to admit he screamed louder than he did that one time he saw Justin Timberlake walking down the street.

With shaky hands, he unlocked his phone and clicked on the notification, the screen immediately loading Hunk’s Facebook Profile.

What awaited him was….it was too good to be true, that’s for sure.

The profile greeted him with a picture of the most beautiful boy in existence, a close up of his face, dark chocolate skin and amber eyes, and the sweetest, softest smile one could ever lay their eyes on.

His heart threatened to stop and he still had only looked at the guy’s profile picture.

He scrolled down, taking a look at his profile, which was set to public view.

Another photo awaited him, this time of the same gorgeous face, now placed in a full-body picture, that displayed Hunk sitting cross-legged in a grassy field, a big cheerful dog with golden fur and droopy ears trying to fit itself onto Hunk’s lap, the boy in question fitting his hands around the dog and hugging it, the biggest of grins on his face, enough to make his eyes squint and crinkle at the corners.

‘Did i adopt him or did he adopt me?’ the photo’s caption said, and Lance wasted no time in his next course of action.

He promptly got off of his bed, where he was squealing and agonising in for the past hour, and headed out to the living room, where Keith sat with a bowl of cereal in his lap, a weird alien documentary playing on the TV.

Lance sat by him and placed the phone in front of Keith’s face.

“Mothboy, what do you think of this guy?” he asked, making Keith squint and turn his attention to the phone in front of him.

Keith studied the picture as he took another spoonful of his cereal, humming before swallowing and turning to Lance.

“I don’t even know him and I’d willingly let him hug me to death.” he deadpanned.

“I know right?!” Lance screeched, and before he could re-think it, scrolled up on Hunk’s profile and clicked ‘accept’ on his friend request.

He had never been more thankful to his clumsy fingers for typing a wrong number more than he was in that very second.

*****The familiar ring of his phone made him shake his head and look away from the books in front of him, earning himself a glare from the tiny girl sitting across of him, although it was a short-lived one-her glare turned to a smirk in less than a nano-second.

“Is that the Snapchat notification sound I hear?” she smirked, raising an eyebrow and leaning closer to her friend.

“You got freakin’ bat ears Pidge, let me tell you”, Hunk grimaced, backing away from her stare  with his phone in hand, “And even if it was, what’s it to you again?”

“Nothing?” she blinked, morphing her expression to the purest most innocent face she could conjure, “I’m merely wondering who it is that’s snap-chatting you, that’s important enough for you to stop mid-way of studying quantum physics of all things, so you could answer.”

“That puppy face stopped working like, two years ago, and no, I’m not gonna tell you who I’m talking with.”

“Please, as if I don’t know it’s that Lance guy you keep going on and on about” she huffed, rolling her eyes in distaste.

Hunk  knew better than to try and argue with her on that-Pidge had been his best friend since forever, and if it’s one thing he could never do to her, it was lie.

Besides, he couldn’t ever lie to save his life, nevertheless lie to his best friend about anything.

“Okay yeah, it’s Lance, so?” he asked, not looking up from his phone as he opened the snapchat application and waited for Lance’s snap to load.

When did the two become so close?

It was only a month since that fated phone call, and yet they were talking more and more each day, to the point that Hunk sometimes forgot they hadn’t actually physically met yet.

“Hunk, my dude, my man”, she started, pushing her glasses up with the tip of her finger, “the guy is practically your boyfriend already.”

“No he’s-“

“Must I remind you your full 20-minute freak-out session when you found his Facebook? You said, and I quote” she paused, clearing her throat and turning to Hunk with wide eyes, “His eyes are so blue and sparkly how can a man be so pretty Pidge I am going to dIE” she sing-songed, mimicking her best Hunk voice.

“I definitely did not say that, and for the thousandth time, he is not my boyfriend! He’s just a-“

He meant to continue, but the loaded snapchat caught him mid-sentence, his mouth slack and turning into a soft fond smile.

The snap was of Lance, a quick selfie with a wink and a wide grin, the tip of Lance’s nose reddened as the sun beat down of him, the glimpse of ocean blue waves behind him, neck and chest bare and peeking into the photograph.

‘Water’s great! Wish you were here too xo’ said the caption and Hunk’s soul immediately transcended to the seventh gate of heaven, if that was even a thing-which it should, because only one was just not enough to contain how blessed he felt in that moment.

“He’s just so…pretty…”

“Called it” Pidge snorted, rolling back on her chair and folding her arms over her chest.

She let Hunk have his small blissed-out moment, even let him reply to Lance with a quick selfie that showcased him and the row of books on their table, Pidge pouting at them in the background, before she coughed and nodded at Hunk.

“Do you think he’s maybe…you know.” she nodded again, pointing to Hunk’s right arm, her point of interest hidden behind his t-shirt.

He looked down to his arm too, soft smile fading as he remembered what was hidden in the inner corner of his right arm, an image hidden from the world under bulky sweaters or light t-shirts.

“Do I think he’s my…soulmate?” he dreaded that last word, the thought itself bringing up bile and anxiety into his stomach.

Pidge nodded again, her face open and hands reaching out to rest in-between their piles of books and closer to Hunk.

“The only way to find out is if you meet him you know? You’re getting along so well already.” she prompted.

“I guess.” Hunk sighed and shook his head, averting his gaze in favour of grabbing his cup of coffee and taking a sip, then fiddling with the cover of one of his books.

Damn summer reading and extra work-load. He’d much rather be at the beach right now, enjoying his college years with a certain blue-eyed someone-

Okay. Wrong train of thought. Very, very, very wrong train of thought.

It wasn’t that Hunk hadn’t thought about it.Could Lance be his soulmate?

Yes.With the way his heart fluttered and stomach clenched with each joke or silly meme Lance sent him, with each quick ‘good morning’ text and short Skype sessions, it was no wonder he grew more and more fond of the bright-eyed boy with each passing day.

Hunk was in deep and he knew it.

But what if Lance just wasn’t his soulmate?

What if they met but there was no glow in their eyes, no burning of their respective marks and swirling colours that’d make each of their marks whole again?

He absent-mindedly scratched at his arm, the thought of that bright yellow circle etched onto his skin, waiting to find the colour it’d mix and match with, that’d make the colour that’d bind him to another person for life.

He already had an idea of who he wished that person to be.

He just didn’t know if fate would agree with him.

*****From: Hunky Hunk

>Hey Lance. I’m soooo sorry but i can’t make it today ;-; Jimmy got sick and i had to take her to the vet asap. raincheck?

Lance sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose before replying.

>>hey dude!! ya no problem, dont worry! hope jimmy feels better soon

The reply he got was instantaneous.

From: Hunky Hunk

>thanks man. will do. sorry again! i’ll make it up to you on your next day off :)

He smiled at the text, even though a certain disappointment gnawed at the pit of his chest.

He understood that life was hard and sometimes things just happened.

He just didn’t understand how life could work it’s way and destroy his plans five times in the same month.

The first time he asked Hunk if he wanted to meet up, was two months after they started talking, gathering up his courage and asking him out for that coffee he’d promised him.

Hunk sounded excited, but sent him a text the next day, profusely apologising because he’d forgotten to tell Lance he’d be out of town for the weekend.

Lance told him not to worry about it, they’d be able to figure out another day.

Then the next week it was his friend’s birthday, so they’d gone out to celebrate.

Then it was his workload that got Hunk slumped and unable to make it.

Then, surprisingly, it was Lance’s turn to be unavailable, his part time work friend getting sick and needing someone to fill his place for a few days, something that Lance wouldn’t ever say no to.

But this was the fifth time in a row that they tried making plans to meet up, and through he knew it was neither of their faults, it still felt like a blow to the side every time, his ego bruised and his hope battered.

He stared at the offensive blue mark on his left wrist and sighed in defeat.

Through their everyday talks with Hunk, the silly pictures and cute selfies he’d sent (that Lance had to fight off the urge to screenshot and keep by his bed every single time), to their common excitement and bonding over astronomy and flying, Lance had slowly started to get this inkling, this small hunch that maybe just maybe….

….There was perhaps a small, tiny, minuscule chance that Hunk could be his soulmate.

He tried not to get his hopes up, he really, truly did, but it became harder to do so with each sweet text and shy phone-call Hunk sent his way.The boy was sugar moulded into a human being and Lance wanted nothing more than to shove himself into a self-induced sugar coma. A Hunk coma, if you will.

He sighed, slumping onto his elbows on the kitchen table, earning a groan from Keith who was sitting across of him with his computer open and his pale skin reflecting the light off of it.

“What are you moping about?” he asked, his voice all bark but no bite. Lance learned by now that this was just his friend’s way of showing concern. “Is it about Hunk again?”

Lance’s lower lip quivered, his eyebrows scrunching.

“It’s the fifth time we’re unable to meet up Keith! The fifth time! Fate is against me and the universe hates me.”

“The universe is too busy minding its own business to hate you. And you and Hunk are practically dating anyway, stop being so sad about it.”

“But we’re not! I’m just-what if he’s not…the one, you know? What if I’m thinking things too much and he’s not even into me at all?!” Lance gasped, sitting up and bringing his hands to Keith’s shoulders, shaking the lethargic boy with intense emotion.

“What if he doesn’t even want to talk to me and he just feels forced to because he’s too sweet to say no?!”

“Lance, I get that you think the guy’s all sunshine and rainbows, and he probably is, but if he didn’t want to talk to you, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t. It’s not that hard to block someone.” he sighed, moving away from Lance’s grip in favour of carrying on typing on his computer.

“…Besides,” Keith continued, peeking up from his work to look at Lance, “I met his best friend Pidge once and trust me, if he didn’t want to talk to you…she’d have obliterated you a long, long time ago.” he shuddered.

Lance slumped back in his seat, face thoughtful.

“That…is oddly comforting. Thanks buddy.”

Keith shrugged, tugging a strand of loose hair back into his messy ponytail.

“Also, your phone just beeped. I’ll take my best guess and say it’s from Hunk.”

Lance turned to face his phone. Sure enough, his Facebook messenger beeped with a new message, alerting him that Hunk had sent him an attachment.

“Conspiracy confirmed cryptid boy.” he smirked, ignoring Keith’s protest in favour of opening up the chat and looking at what Hunk had sent him.

Attached was a photo of Hunk’s dog Emmy, with half of Hunk’s face in the shot, standing right outside a veterinary clinic.

“Doc said she’ll be in perfect health soon! She just ate something bad. Gave her a hug and told her it’s from you and she wagged her tail a lot so that’s got to mean she likes you!” said the message that followed.

Lance let his phone back down and slumped face-first into the table, ignoring the cackle that came from Keith.

“You really like him huh.” Keith stated.

“…I would willingly eat a bottle of hot sauce for him in a heartbeat.” Lance answered.

The scariest part of the situation was that Lance really, truly meant it.

He was wrapped around the finger of a boy he’d never met before.

*****

Hunk felt his phone beep in his pocket, but for the first time in forever, didn’t move to check it, as much as his mind and heart screamed and begged him to.

He was late, he was so, so late and he’d never hear the end of it from Coran if he was late to his first lecture of the year.

He hadn’t even realised how fast summer came and left.Never realised how fast a certain boy named Lance sneaked his way into Hunk’s life even if he’d yet to see him face to face.

He pushed the thought aside in favour of speeding up his step, only pausing for a moment to take out his phone and promptly check the time.

7.30 a.m

Seven. Thirty. In the morning.

In his dazed state, he’d never realised he read the time wrong. The school was only a half hour away from his house, and thinking it was 8.30 when he woke up and his class was at 9.00, he had run the apartment upside down looking for clothes and his toothbrush so he could run out and into the first bus he could catch

But now it was seven thirty and he was five minutes away from the school campus and he honestly never hated himself as much as he did right then and there.

Luckily that hate wouldn’t stand for long-he noticed a local coffee shop across the street, already busy with people shuffling in and out despite the early hour of the morning.

Hunk rushed inside, placing his order to a cheerful yet tired-looking cashier, then moving to the queue waiting for their coffee, his eyes never leaving his phone as he checked through his to-do list and replying to Lance’s text from last night, figuring the boy must’ve been still asleep when he got no reply.

“One cold brew coffee with caramel syrup and soy milk?” the cashier all but yawned, and Hunk turned his head to her with a smile, reaching for the coffee she’d just placed onto the small waiting table.

He stilled when he felt a warm hand clash with his, tan slender fingers with a blue circle on the wrist of said hand.

His eyes widened when the circle glowed, and swirled, his own mark heating up and his eyes burning, the blues and yellows merging into a vibrant green.

There was no need to look up, to realise who it was he’d just felt this connection to.

He’d known from the first time they talked.From that very first, awkward, embarrassing phone call.

Yet he still looked anyway, if anything, just to see the face he could wait not longer to kiss the smirk off of.

“Morning Lance.” he beamed, noticing the green glow subduing from Lance’s eyes, replaced with the baby blues he loved to finally see up close, the smile on Lance’s face too surreal to even try and describe.

“Morning hunky Hunk.” Lance grinned, “glad to finally know what your taste in coffee’s like.” he added with a wink, and before Hunk could reply, he got his arms full of Lance, the scent of sea salt and comfort and home.

It felt right.

It felt stupid to even question it, to ever wonder if this was his person.

Hunk looked down at the boy in his arms, a lip-splitting grin of his own lacing his face, burying himself into Lance’s neck.

“I guess I can finally treat you to that coffee I owed you?” Lance laughed, the warmth vibrating off his neck and onto Hunk.

Hunk huffed, his eyes already watering before Lance leaned closer and kissed his forehead.

“Idiot” Hunk whispered, “You’ve got a lifetime to do that.”

******

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[babygirlblogging-lise-blog]

My First

I failed my driving test. 

That was in the fall of 2017, I was a senior in high school. All of my friends were getting their licenses and cars while I was stuck being a passenger. The woman who failed me thought I wasn’t confident enough. Like damn, can’t even be nervous without being penalized these days huh? She failed me for the most ridiculous shit. But that has nothing to do with the story I plan on telling. 

A few weeks before my eighteenth birthday I tried again. This was something I needed to do before I turned 18. Giving up wasn’t an option. There was no way I wanted to retake my written if I didn’t pass before I was considered a legal adult. The guy who tested me this time? He was fine as hell and now that I think about it, I was supposed to text him when I turned eighteen. I lost his number, sadly. But that also has nothing to do with the story. I want to tell you the story about the first guy I-

-’ve always been cheap. I was ten when my aunt was going to get a new car. I convinced her to save her old car for me so that when I started driving I wouldn’t have to buy a car. By the end of the summer of 2017, my grandpa fixed up the old car and I was all good to go. Free to go wherever I wanted. I no longer had to wait around for people, waste money on lyfts or walk. So naturally, I took myself on adventures. 

One night, against my better judgement. I lied to my mom and said I was going to hang out with my friends. If I would have told her what I was really going to do, she would’ve gone into over protective mode and I didn’t want that. I just wanted some time to myself. I drove over the bridge and into Philly. Not for a concert or any other event. I just wanted some me time. I parked my car. Got oreo ice cream and sugar cookies from Insomnia Cookies and walked around the city. 

Not going to lie and say I knew exactly where I was at all times. I wasn’t even guaranteed that I was safe, I wasn’t focused on my surroundings. All I know is I was somewhere around Broad Street, because that’s where Insomnia Cookies was located. I came across this huge, gorgeous building, I’m not very good at names. Everything was lit up and there was art on the sides of some of the buildings surrounding it. There was even a fountain in front of it all. The scene just looked so beautiful. I walked across the street, hopped up on a ledge and just took it all in. It felt serene, even with so many people flooding the sidewalks. I sat and continued eating my snacks, I was enjoying clearing my head. Until someone interrupted me that is… 

“Hey.” I looked up to see a cute guy. There were a few girls not too far from me talking. It was the beginning of August, late at night but still pushing eighty degrees. Of course they were clad in clothes that left nothing to the imagination. I figured he was talking to them. Guys like the ones who look easy. He couldn’t have been talking to me. So I went back to dipping my cookie into my ice cream and admiring the scenery. I didn’t really acknowledge the fact that he moved a little closer to me. He said hey again and I finally looked up at him directly, before looking around. He laughed a little. “I don’t blame you for being that into ya snacks. I love their shit. But I’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute.” Yep, he’s definitely talking to me. I was confused as to why though. I get hit on by guys pretty often, I know I’m not ugly but with him talking to me, I felt extremely insecure. Suddenly I wished that I had dressed a little better. I looked like a child for fucks sakes. I was wearing a gold fish shirt, black tights, a hat that said “Hoodrats” and Chucks. I was even swinging my legs off the ledge, eating ice cream! 

He introduced himself as Dey. I wanted to know the name his mom gave him so I asked him for his full name. Ayinde. Pronounced Uh-zhen-day. Unique. It has African origins. He told me that my name was almost as pretty as I was. If I were white, I definitely would have blushed. I didn’t understand why he made me feel so shy. 

 I learned that he was mixed with Irish, Haitian and Cuban. Interesting mix, I know. Despite his slight baby face, he turned out to be 20. He was tall, about 6’1. He had taken his hat off to redo his ponytail, he tied his curly, brown hair back into a man bun. He was light skinned with a slight tan. Doe brown eyes paired with the cutest smile. He was dressed in all black, I would’ve been a little concerned if it weren’t for the logo on his hat. I could see a tattoo peeking out from under his short sleeved shirt. Just my type. 

I was tired of the small talk and beating around the bush. “Why’d you come over here to talk to me?” Instead of replying, the douche just smiled and then hopped up on the ledge next to me. It was weird. I was supposed to be having me time, if any other guy did this I would’ve been rude. I wouldn’t have given them the time of day. I wasn’t even afraid, Ayinde strangely made me feel safe. Something was telling me to give him a chance, instead of shutting him down. 

“Well, I was on break, I work across the street.” He points to a small cafe. “I saw you walk by and… I don’t know I thought you were beautiful. Now that I’ve gotten closer, it seems so effortless. No make up and you’re not even dressed up.”

Shit, I have no clue what to say to this. He’s been nice and respectful. “Thank you.” Well, that was lame but it was safe. We talked more before he had to go back to work. He was funny as hell, we both had the same rude, dark, sarcastic humor. He complimented me pretty often and he seemed kind of bummed that he had to leave once his break was over. 

“Why don’t you grow some balls and just ask me what you wanna ask me.” I thought to myself, I should be a fucking actress. I’m great at faking confidence. 

He laughed and just smiled at me for a second. “Well, I would like to get to know you more. Can I get your number?” 

You know when you give someone your number, you almost expect them to wait days or weeks to text you. Surprisingly, Ayinde texted me that night. 

AYINDE: hey beautiful, u get home safely?

ME: Oh shit, I see u found ur balls! 

AYINDE: lol yea yea yea. I know I was acting like a pussy earlier but that’s not how I usually am

***

AYINDE: FT me? I haven’t seen u since we met punk

ME: No I look crazy rn 

AYINDE: Is tht even possible? I think you’re cute af

ME: aww thanks but everyone’s entitled to their own insecurities

AYINDE: Ig but that’s y u need me 

ME: wym?

AYINDE: to take away your insecurities

ME: Doubt that’s possible 

AYINDE: try me

***

ME: entertain meee! I’m bored, stuck at my great grandma’s house :(

AYINDE: I literally just woke up, still in bed

ME: Luckyyy, my head’s fucking killing me

AYINDE: wish I could help

ME: me too lol do u have superpowers? 

AYINDE: no, do u?

ME: Nah I’m not tht awesome 

AYINDE: I think ur pretty awesome

Ayinde and I got closer over the next month. We hadn’t actually seen each other after the first time we met. He worked crazy hours and still had school. I worked everyday and had school as well. Plus, I wasn’t completely comfortable meeting up with a guy I didn’t really know. He understood that. He always made sure I was comfortable before we did anything. He eventually convinced me to facetime him… a lot... and when we didn’t he acted like a big baby.

ME: u happy now?

AYINDE: lol no

ME: y not -_-

AYINDE: I got nothing pretty to look at now

ME: whose fault it tht?

AYINDE: idk. Do u kno?

ME: Lol yea ik

AYINDE: tell me 

ME: yours :P

AYINDE: well if u came over we wouldn’t have this problem

I was a very late bloomer. I knew freshmen girls who got pregnant, meanwhile I hadn’t had my first kiss until I was 16. I didn’t start dating until 17. I was a fresh 18 and I was still a virgin. I waited a while to tell him because I liked him and didn’t want to scare him off. But he surprised me, I learned that he wasn’t like other guys. Most guys only want you for one thing. And that’s to get them off. Not all are gonna be lovey dovey when you’re not putting out. 

ME: I hate being a girl. I think my uterus just exlpoded. Im dying

AYINDE: Aww u can’t die yet, I havent taken u out yet

ME: wut do u want from meee

AYINDE: I told u what I want 

ME: hmmmm

AYINDE: i didnt? 

ME: u could have an ulterior motive

AYINDE: lol what? Ayo y cant I just think ur gorgeous and want to get to kno u, find out who u r

***

He was very protective of me. Anytime I even looked a tiny bit sad or sounded off, he was ready to beat someone up for me. 

AYINDE: ur awake? 

ME: Yea just woke up on some bs 

AYINDE: u good?

ME: yea im ok lol

AYINDE: u sure? I’ll fuck someone up

ME: lol yea im good now

And as the oldest, always looking out for my little brothers and my friends. It felt good to have someone looking out for me for a change. 

***

ME: I move into college tmw nd I aint pack shit yet

AYINDE: ur bugging

ME: Pack 4 me?

AYINDE: lol ill pass

ME: my back hurts like all hell, some of this shit is heavy

AYINDE: what u carrying…?

ME: 4 one, I hav a lot of clothes, they add up nd I had to take em downstairs

AYINDE: lol whoakay wittle wone

ME: fuck u, this shit weighs more than me! I almost fell down the stairs!

AYINDE: thts cuz ur like 87 lbs

ME: Aye! Give me my props, im like 120

AYINDE: lol i see u killa

I fucking loved when he called me that, made me feel invincible. 

Despite how it seems this isn’t a love story. This isn’t a memoir about me finding my first love. Bleh. That’s so sappy. I want to tell you about the first time I stepped out of my comfort zone. You’ve experienced a snippet of our relationship. Ayinde and I were never together. We were just people who met at the wrong time. Had too much going on in our separate lives to focus on developing a relationship. But it didn’t stop us from pursuing the unique friendship we had. For years we maintained contact, I’d visit him pretty often but we always kept our distance when it came to personal things. We used each other as escapes from our realities. We were each other’s vacation after a long week. 

One night we were hanging out and things got more heated than they usually did. I wasn’t prepared to take the next step with anyone. No worries, I’m not about to make you uncomfortable and talk about how I lost my virginity because that isn’t the point. Before I say anything, I did have a great childhood. But some things did leave me scarred, I struggled with intimacy as a result. To make a long story short, it makes me self conscious, not something I’ll flaunt for the whole world to see. 

I’m the type of girl who will wait until the bathroom is empty to change my pad or start going to the bathroom. If it’s too busy, I’ll wait all day until I go home. In the locker room, I’d find the farthest corner or wait until all the girls leave to change my clothes. I’m not comfortable being alone around men. I used to clench my pocket knife in my hand when I walked home alone at night. The list goes on. 

The point of this memoir is to tell about the first time I felt completely comfortable in my own skin. Let alone, around a guy. 

They were everywhere. Trailing from my neck and back up against mine. His lips were distracting. I could barely focus. Let alone notice that the both of us were wearing less and less clothing by the minute. I stopped. 

I wouldn’t be able to handle him not liking what he saw. What if I did a bad job? What if he stopped talking to me?

“Do you want me to stop?” Ayinde pulled back from me looking concerned. He looks so cute right now. I kind of wanted to pick up where we left off. 

“Ye-No. It’s just, can you turn the lights completely down?” He liked his room dim, not too bright or dark. It was normally perfect but at that moment, they were making this situation turn into a nightmare.

“Um, why? What’s wrong?” He’s still hovering above me. I didn’t really want him to move. I bit my lip, contemplating. 

“Just don’t look at me any differently. Okay?” I pulled him down by the back of his neck and kissed him hard. Hoping that my issues with myself wouldn’t be a big deal, I’ve never gone this far with anyone. 

When the time came. I held my breath. Okay, I see my pants on the floor near the dresser. My shirt is near the door. I was locating my clothing so that I’d be able to leave quicker. I’m not really one to feel embarrassed but this was going to be borderline humiliating if I wasn’t enough for him. This reminded me of how I felt when I failed my driving test, but I wanted to do this with Ayinde. I didn’t want to quit just because I hadn’t grown the balls to show anyone else. I didn’t want to miss out because I was nervous as to what he might think. I had to at least give him a chance. 

What Ayinde did shocked me. Instead of being grossed out or losing his hard on. He didn’t ask any questions, he didn’t say anything. He kissed every part of my body and when he was done he leaned down to kiss my lips. I was worried, about him seeing all of me, for no reason. He wound up giving me the confidence I needed to be comfortable in my own skin. He told me what I needed to hear from a guy that I was into, not my parents: 

“You’re beautiful.”

And just like that... I didn’t have anymore insecurities.