#he's dealing with the bishop sass.

[aveloka-draws]

I love how you do your kallamar and saleos ship because like, a lot of art that i see dealing with kallamars canon polygamy has the artist treat it as like kallamar being flighty or not really caring about his spouses, which, hey, might be closer to a canon read, given how the game encourages you to use marriage as a method of cult control and the general characterization of the bishops, but i really love your variation where like, yeah kallamar might be willing to use his spouses, see: the sacrifices for power, but he also still cares and remembers little details about them and its really obvious they were *spouses* not just tools

This is all to say your comic of kallamar threatening saleos and saleos going "bet" drives me fucking insane, the balance of ex-god demanding from their devotee and oh wait theres romance here actually is just, chefs kiss, the way kallamar spins saleos around like its a dance only to pull out the knife, the desperation in kallamar immediately clutching at saleos post stab, the full-of-himself complaining when saleos says he doesnt remember that segueways into genuinely sweet "i would find you there whenever i would look for you" remembering, and snapping back to sass, absolutely amazing and i will be chewing on it for ages and it drives me insane no one else will do it like you do it dhdhhdhdhddb you make me want to look for fanart of your fanart

Hkjkjkkjd thsnk you

Didnt expect to get so attached to those two they are a lot of fun, so happy you like my take on them n.n

[aealzx]

Opening his eyes brought a scene of sterile grey walls and blistering white light that had Donnie squinting after the darkness they had been sucked into. After a few grimaced blinks he simultaneously realized his wrists and ankles were restrained, and Lil Mikey was missing. No matter, he could break these chains with a bit of mystic tech. The magic came easily to him, bringing him comfort in his tech always being with him despite the physically crafted devices having been stripped from him. But this time his effortless attempts were sliced away from him by a wave of nullifying energy that also drilled into his head with a stabbing wave. A light noise of irritation escaped a sneered nose as the energy within him flickered out along with the lights on his markings. Anti mystic tech. Great. They apparently knew who they were dealing with.

But who were they?

A question that was answered sooner than expected when a near invisible door slid to the side, a group of people behind it. “Well,” the woman at the front started. “I’m glad Agent Bishop’s records included a small note about the possibility of you four having gained mystic abilities. I have to admit I’m not completely familiar with the concepts, but I did coerce some help in crafting the proper precautions, just to be safe.” She spoke with an even, familiar tone that didn’t match the situation as far as Donnie was concerned. Her path took her towards him before she stopped and sat in a metal chair that was brought to her from behind. A good signifier to Donnie that she was the one in charge. After a moment of staring at him, earning nothing but a silent glare back, the woman adjusted her glasses and held her hand up, her assistant placing a tablet in her hand. “I have to say, you’ve really let yourself go. Losing nearly a third of your weight. You really ought to take better care of yourself, Donatello Splinterson.”

That caused Donnie to blink, questions rising in his mind that he could mostly start to form answers to. That wasn’t his second name. Mistaken identity? With a mutant turtle? Not likely. But with a yokai? He didn’t know of any yokai turtles by the name of Donatello. She had data about whoever she thought he was though, and he had nothing on her. “Then I presume you’re….?” he trailed off, giving her the chance to fill in the information he was lacking.

“That’s correct. Agent Jane Augustine. John Bishop’s successor, and the one you and your brothers have persisted to be an annoyance to,” Augustine supplied, adjusting her glasses again before rising to her feet once more. “I have to commend you for the setbacks you’ve given me. No one else has managed to break into government security as often as you-...”

Augustine’s speech broke off when she noticed something, her head twitching to get a different angle. She was silent for a moment, then voiced the subject of her derailed thoughts. “Your eyes are the wrong color.”

Oh. Well that was easy. Apparently this other Donatello didn’t have delectably golden eyes like him. “Maybe your sources are just colorblind,” Donnie sassed back.

“And you have an attitude…,” Augustine noted, eyes narrowing slightly. Donnie knew the signs of a brilliant mind churning through possibilities when he saw it. And sure enough a bud of excitement was starting to rise in her frame. “...Where are you from?”

“Earth,” Donnie answered automatically, giving the vaguest response as possible just to be a pain.

Augustine didn’t seem perturbed, instead gripping his chin for a moment. “Which Earth?” she asked.

Donnie realized what was going on the moment Augustine’s thoughts were confirmed by his raising brows. Drawing a breath to smother back her breakthrough, Augustine released him before turning to the others hanging back at the entrance of the room. “Get me a full blood, fluid, and tissue sample immediately. From this one, and the one that was with him. Documented currently under the name Michaelangelo-”

She started to direct her workers, but as soon as Donnie heard enough evidence they had Lil Mikey as well he snapped. “If you even scratch my brother I will blow up this entire establishment. With or without people in it.”

Augustine looked surprised to be interrupted, but politely let him finish before she laughed. “And how will you do that? You’re my ward now. And I have you in chains, and your mystic abilities effectively nullified.”

As her assistants moved to comply with her orders Augustine stepped back, a smile growing on her lips as she watched her new toy squirm and try to pull back from the prying hands. The restraint holding his left arm was transferred to a separate device that allowed them to keep it taught as they lowered it to where they could more easily access it. Donnie struggled fruitlessly against all of the chains, yanking until he could feel the metal biting into his hands and feet, especially when one of them circled wordlessly around behind him. It immediately made him feel isolated, and claustrophobic. His scarred shell was exposed to their invasive hands, the contact delicate but still earning a warning hiss from him. Another set of hands was reaching towards his face, and Donnie pulled back for just a moment before lurching forward without fully thinking.

The monotonous emptiness with which the assistant had been working shattered with shriek from the one Donnie currently had his teeth sank into. It didn’t matter that they had a surgical gown covering their forearm, it was already shredded through. Donnie was aiming for blood, and he got it. The other assistants scattered with various startled noises as Donnie’s victim punched him in the nose, as if they could get him to let go like some rabid dog. They drew their own blood from him, but he refused to release them, even as they yanked against him.

“Doctor, please,” Augustine spoke up calmly, raising her hand to still the commotion as soon as a fist had been used. “I prefer to have my wards physically unharmed as much as possible,” she chastised, striding forward and moving her raised hand to the side of Donnie’s jaw. “There are much more efficient ways to open a mouth…”

Donnie yelped as her finger wedged into his joint, pressing against a nerve and making him snap his jaw open and pull away from the source of the pain. As soon as they were free the assistant scurried back to the others and Augustine calmly withdrew her hand. She paused for a moment to let Donnie spit the blood from his mouth before reaching forward again to snatch his chin in her hand once more. Forcing him to look in her direction, Augustine gave him a slight smile. “Behave yourself, Donatello. I might be a forgiving woman, but many of my employees are not. Especially when you’ve damaged them as such,” she cautioned, reaching her free hand up to smudge away the blood dripping from his nose, but ignoring the lines running down his chin.

Donnie just gave a snarled hiss in response. “Try it again and we’ll see if they lose a finger or two next.”

The response earned a single syllable, mirthless chuckle from Augustine. Pausing for a moment, as if daring him to try biting her, she eventually released him again. Turning for the door, she casually grabbed a damp wipe from one of the carts that had been pulled in to clean her hands. “Evangeline, you’re excused to wash up. But please take samples from the wound for me if you will,” she directed on her path to the exit. “The rest of you finish up here, then meet me in the other rooms. Drop him to the floor if you must.”

Apparently the fear of being bitten was overridden by whatever hold Augustine had over them, for the assistants returned to their assigned task with just a bit more caution than before. At first Donnie thought he was going to be knocked unconscious, but instead the other restraint on his arm was moved like the other one. And this time, instead of just being stretched across a clothesline, mechanical arms with mildly padded poles at the ends curled out from the walls. A breath half left Donnie’s lungs as the poles collided with the back of his shoulders and legs, pushing him forward as the chains kept him taught, lowering him forward until he was pressed against the floor. It made the inside of his elbow harder to reach, but they didn’t seem to care, a clasp slipping over his hand to keep him from twisting his arm as they brought a needle towards it. Donnie snarled, and hissed, and forced his body against the abundance of fetters binding him in place to no avail. It was too much. The wrong kind of weight against his exposed skin. Cold, unforgiving pressure on his scarred back, squeezing air from his lungs. Sharp edges digging into his limbs while they stretched his muscles just barely below the point of damage. Drawing the largest breath he could manage, Donnie released his irritation in the form of a long, headache inducing bellow.

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Previous Next

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This scene was plaguing my brain all day today |D

If anyone is worried this is the most I'll get into in regards to violence against someone that can't fight back. I'm not planning on getting all that dark =u=b

[countlessrealities]

⭐ <3

Send ⭐ and I will list muses I'd be interested in throwing at yours || Always accepting !

For @technodromes:

Shredder & B-001: These two have the same constantly quiet brooding vibe tbh x3 it could be just a one-off thread, inserted in the verse we have with Rick and Morty. One of those scenes where the character is drinking at a bar and the bartender plays the role of the unofficial counselor. It could be interesting!

Bebop and Rocksteady & AR: These three would be chaos incarnate together, I swear xD AR is a whirlwind and he'd drag the manchildren along whether they like it or not. Plus, he'd be nicer to them than Rick is, and very much open to more fun / "let's just blow shit up" activities for the sake of it xD

Bishop & SR: If someone can understand Bishop's frustration with his job and charges, that's SR. He's a guard, which means that they work in similar fields, and he constantly has to deal with messes other versions of him cause. Plus, he's AR's best friend and AR is as chaotic with him as Rick is with Bishop xD they could definitely sympathise with each other. They are also similar personality wise, since SR is much more serious and calm than your average Rick, and he has a strong sense of duty. I think they could make real good friends! Maybe even something more x3

For @muse-inn:

Jerry with Morty & Summer: there aren't many episodes with Jerry and the kids, and it's a pity! I'd love to explore their relationship. Plus, it's not fair that Rick is the only one who gets to torment Jerry u-u

T'Ana & Summer: I'll say just one thing. Imagine the level of sass xD I'm gonna send the meme you asked for in the starter call for these two, because I think that it would be lots of fun xD

Ania & Morty: I think that they would get along pretty well. Morty is naturally curious and I can see him getting interested in Ania's research on plants and insects. Plus, she has a much calmer vibe than Rick and I think that would be appreciated! I can imagine them scouting new planets for lifeforms and the likes!

Grum & Morty: Similar to Ania, but with a more mentor-y vibe? Since Grum likes to work in peace on his stuff, I think that he might actually teach Morty stuff properly, once he realises just how much the kid has picked up from Rick without even knowing. Plus, I'd just love for Morty to have a proper mentor figure who can recognise the skills he has acquired

[imstuckintoomanyfandoms]

you wanna know why Clint Barton is so stubbornly hell bent on helping Kate? even if she is just an annoying rich kid who can’t take no for an answer, who follows him around endlessly? even if she is just a young kid with endless sarcasm and sass, who he could very easily leave on her own to deal with the mess *she caused*?

because she reminds him of someone else. another annoying, young kid with endless sarcasm and sass, who got caught up in another superhero mess. a kid he didn’t help as fiercely.

sure you could blame Clint’s persistence on the fact that he’s a father, and you’d be right. but Clint was a father to more than just his own kids. he was a father to Wanda, and he was a father to Pietro.

Clint sees so much of Pietro in Kate, he can’t just leave her own her own. he can’t make the same mistake. he doesn’t want Kate to meet the same fate as Pietro.

in a way, this is him finally repaying his debt to Pietro Maximoff for saving his life- helping to save another young kids life, who’s definitely way in over her head, and talks far too much for Clint’s liking.

because if he couldn’t save Pietro Maximoffs life, you can be damn sure he’ll save Kate Bishops life instead.

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

Mother’s Day Drabbles

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Reader, Miguel Galindo x Black!Reader, EZ Reyes x Black!Reader, Obispo Losa x Black!Reader

Summary: Four drabbles with my four favorite men from Mayans MC commemorating Mother’s Day with their loves.

Warning(s): Grief, loss of a child in the last drabble (sorry to my bishop girls) but the other ones are all fluffy goodness

Word count: 1,545

AN: It’s almost Father’s Day so y’know what sounds good? Reading some EXTREMELY late Mother’s Day drabbles!! lol. I haven’t posted anything in so long and these were in the drafts so here we are. Enjoy these random ideas that popped into my head. Trying to force myself to get into shorter form writing like drabbles and headcanons. As always, questions, comments, and concerns are welcomed. Happy reading! xo

Breakfast in bed - Angel (fluff)

“Daddy shhh! You gots ta be quiet.”

“Lo siento princesa.”

You fought to keep your eyes shut and not smile as they tried and failed at surprising you. You wouldn’t ruin their efforts so you just listened as they came into the bedroom and something was set on your nightstand.

It was silent for a moment before a ball of energy landed firmly on top of you, knocking the wind out of you and fully waking you up.

“Good morning mommy. I made you breakfast in bed.” Your beautiful little girl told you once she saw your eyes open.

A throat cleared and your eyes connected with your husband’s.

“Oh, Daddy helped too.” She added, getting comfortable in your lap as you sat up against your headboard and adjusted the bonnet on your head.

“Oh he did? Well thanks for helping Daddy.” You teased, as he took a seat on the bed next to you.

“Anything for you. Happy Mother’s Day.” Angel leaned in and kissed you on the lips once, twice, three times. The last peck lingered a little too long and the princess was not amused.

“Let her eat! The food is gonna get cold.” She grumbled, and you broke down in giggles. That daughter of yours was a sass machine and she stayed on her daddy’s head. He loved every bit of it.

“Okay, okay.” He relented, a grin on his face. Anything for his girls.

Coming home to a spotless clean house - Miguel (fluff)

As your driver pulled into the driveway of your large home, she sighed knowing your day had only just become. After a full day of work, she knew as soon as you stepped foot in the house you would need to pick up after the kids from their time running the nanny ragged. Then, you’d have to get dinner cooked before wrangling the kids to eat, bathe, and then sleep. No clue if you’d see your husband or if he was having a late night.

You loved your life. You loved your family. Sometimes things could just be a little tiring. But you put that smile on your face and you made your way into the house.

The quiet was the first thing to hit and surprise you. Your home was never this quiet at this time of day. You slowly walked further into the house, your nose guiding you to the kitchen where a delicious aroma caught your attention. As you rounded the corner, you were shocked to see your husband standing at the stove.

“Miguel?” You asked, confused at his presence and the state of the house. Everything was clean and put away. He was at home at a decent time and not off somewhere handling business. Something was going on.

“Hello mi amor.” He walked closer to you before grabbing your face and kissing your lips. You’d missed him today so you added a little pressure to the kiss, but it didn’t last long as there was a burning question on your mind.

“What’s going on? Where are the kids?” You asked, head swiveling, as soon as you ended the kiss, to see if you could spot them. You didn’t even notice Miguel maneuvering you onto one of the kitchen stools.

“The kids are in their rooms, dinner is cooking, the house is clean and you are going to enjoy this chardonnay I bought for you.” He handed you a glass and you took it without complaint. A sweet smile spread across your lips as you realized he did all of this for you.

“You do so many wonderful things for this family. I want you to enjoy your night to yourself. I will handle putting the children to bed and you will relax for the night. Your dinner should be done by the time I get back downstairs but in the meantime, I know you’ve been wanting to catch up on the new season of A Black Lady Sketch Show. It’s queued up in the living room.”

A kid wrangling free night? Your favorite tv show and wine? He already bought you everything you could ask for but this? This is so much better than any present he could have come up with. “How did I get so lucky?” You pondered, a dreamy smile on your face.

“I ask myself the same question every day. Happy Mother’s Day.” He replied, kissing you again before going to fulfill his promise.

Spa day for expectant mom - EZ (fluff)

Knowing what comes with being pregnant and actually experiencing the symptoms are two very different things. You don’t wanna say you underestimated things, but you were in the middle of your third trimester and you weren’t handling things very well.

“EZ!! EZEKIEL!” You hollered for him, from where you sat propped up on the couch. Your back was killing you, you couldn’t see your feet but you knew they were a hot mess, and you just generally felt uncomfortable. You knew it would all be worth it in the end, but the end was taking too damn long to get here.

Your boyfriend had been incredibly understanding of your constant mood swings. When you first told him you were pregnant, he went out and bought a bunch of pregnancy books. He was always reading one that first trimester. Angel would tease him and say he could just google everything, but EZ had always preferred having physical copies of text. He wanted to know everything you’d go through so he could help you deal with it.

You call him now and he doesn’t respond. You grow annoyed, but also slightly concerned because he never doesn’t answer you.

It took several tries but you manage to get yourself off the couch and head back towards your bedroom. When you push the door open, a wide smile breaks out on your face. The lights in the room were dimmed and your favorite candles were lit, bathing the room in a soothing scent. Songs from your ‘self care day’ playlist filled the otherwise silent air. On the bed was the biggest, fluffiest robe you’d ever seen in your life. There was also a basket filled with goodies including face masks, different color nail polish, massage oil, and your favorite snacks.

“What is all of this?” You asked your boyfriend who had almost as big a smile on his face as you did.

“You didn’t seriously think I’d just let your first Mother's Day go by with no acknowledgment, did you?”

You blinked somewhat in surprise. “I...I mean yeah I guess. My first Mother’s Day is next year. Baby Reyes isn’t even here yet.”

“So? You’re carrying our child. You gonna let me spoil you or you gonna keep making excuses why I can’t?” He asked, his eyebrow raised and a sly smirk on his face.

“Spoil away then.” You grinned, holding out a hand for him to take before pampering you for the rest of the night.

Cuddles - Bishop (angst, heed the tw up top please)

The ray from the television was the only light source illuminating the living room. You were laying on your side on the couch, eyes on the tv but not truly paying attention to it. The light from the tv reflected off the tear stains left in her cheeks.

Bishop came back from dealing with club stuff and leaned on the doorway just watching you. He knew it was a rough day for you. Everyday was hard, but today was especially hurtful. He’d be feeling the same way just next month.

He placed his kutte onto the armchair and slipped off his shoes before climbing over you. You jumped a little at his presence but he just gently nudged you up so he could squeeze between you and the back of the couch.

One arm slid under your head and the other rested on your waist as he settled in. The hand on your waist reached out and gently ran a thumb over the little face in the picture frame you held tightly in your hands.

“Our sweet boy.” He whispered, a sad smile on his face.

Your breath hitched and your shoulders began to shake as you silently cried. You missed him so much. The whole day you stayed inside hoping to avoid all the mother celebrations, but that didn’t help. The hurt ran deep and no amount of avoidance could stop it. This day was a special slap in the face and every year the last three years have been spent like this.

Bishop curled the arm under your head until his elbow laid on your clavicle. He wrapped his other arm around your waist and pulled you tight against him.

“You’ll always be his mother. That love is forever.” He softly but firmly stated before pecking your shoulder over and over.

You released a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in at the feel of him squeezing you tightly. It was comforting. He was always holding you together. He understood your pain and even though it hurt worse some days than others, you knew you had to continue on.

But for right now, you would cry in your man’s arms and hope next year went better.

[voidbeans]

No one:

Jasper Voidbeans: Peter is my wife he is an asshole I am giving him so many hugs my little bastard man

(Bonus- Me: so fucking true bestie <33)

IT'S TRUE HE IS. Peter fuckign Bishop is the stupidest smart man alive he's a bitch he's an angel I'm gonna punch him I'm gonna kiss him on his nose he has the sweetest idiot face he's so terrible at dealing with his emotions he has so much love to give and so much sass to give I want to see him grow and be happy and I think he would give the best hugs he is my bastard man !!!

[blackmissfrizzle]

The Dress

Characters: Angel Reyes x black!reader

Based off of this

Warnings: Self-esteem issues, Implied smut, angst, and fluff!!!

A/N: My first Angel fic and I’m in love. Also, I’ll probably use this same idea with different guys, so if you don’t like Angel, you may be getting someone different!

This time you were sure blood was drawn. What did you do to deserve such horrendous torture?

“Ouch, that hurt,” you complained, staring down at the perpetrator.

“If you’d be still, then it wouldn’t hurt,” Marisol sassed back.

“Oh god,” you muttered to yourself, which in return earned you a smack to your bottom. “Don’t use the good Lord’s name in vain!” Marisol scolded you.

Marisol better be lucky that you love her or otherwise you wouldn’t be doing her this favor. She was the best seamstress in Santo Padre and made you many dresses for the events your father dragged you to. So, when she asked you for a favor you weren’t hesitant.

Her granddaughter was getting married, but she lived in LA and wasn’t accessible for dress fittings. Luckily, you and her granddaughter had the same measurements, so Marisol asked if you could stand in for her and you agreed.

“Aw, mija you trying to become skin and bones?” She asked, feeling around your hips.

You palmed your face. Only Marisol would think losing a couple of pounds on your thick frame as a bad thing. “Don’t worry, Marisol. I won’t lose too much, so you can finish the dress.”

“I’m not worried about that! It’s Angelito that may have something to say.”

Rolling your eyes, you dared to ask the woman why she would even mention your best friend. “What does Angel have to do with this?”

“Because men want a woman with curves they can hold onto.”

“We’re just- ”

“Best friends,” Marisol finished for you. “Yeah, yeah yeah, you always say that. But the way he follows you around like a lost puppy dog, suggests otherwise.”

Just as you were opening your mouth for a witty retort, the roar of motorcycles announcing the arrival of the Mayans.

As usual Bishop was the first one through the door, flanked by Hank and Taza. The men first greeted Marisol, but soon noticed you. “Who’s the lucky guy and why haven’t we met him?” Bishop asked, opening up his arms for a hug.

Quickly Marisol swept Bishop’s arms away from your direction. “Don’t you dare get your dirty, greasy biker hands near my dress! And she’s not getting married, just a real life mannequin for my granddaughter.”

“Thank God! Don’t want Angel to have a heart attack,” Hank teased. You narrowed your eyes at him, as everyone in the room began to laugh.

The loud creaking of the front door notified you of more people coming in the house. “Woah, who knew you looked good in a dress?” Coco commented soon as he saw you.

“Screw you, Coco! I wear dresses all the time!”

“Yeah, to those fancy ass parties, never around us.”

Coco had a point. Around the Mayans you only wore jeans and t-shirts. You could relax with them unlike with your dad. He always had you prancing around and mingling at overrated parties, so he could gain more clients for his private security firm.

“Y/N, you look beautiful,” EZ said, pulling you from your thoughts. Next to him was his older brother, eyes wide open and mouth bobbing up and down, leaving you wondering if you looked horrible in the dress.

You thought you did the one armed dress service. The cinched waist hid your tummy and the ruffles gave you a princess flair. Also, white always looks good on brown skin, but maybe Angel thought otherwise. “Hey, second-best looking Reyes brother, what do you think?”

Instead of answering you, Angel bolted out the door. “He’s uh, still drunk.” EZ tried to excuse his brother, but the lie was unbelievable. You knew what a drunk Angel looked like and that Angel looked anything but drunk.

Marisol refused to let you follow him, stating some outdated nonsense like a woman never chases after a man. So you dutifully stood there, wondering did you look that bad, while the rest of the Mayans ate the food Marisol fixed for them and threatened to kick Angel’s ass for you.

Hours later you found yourself outside of the Mayans clubhouse. Angel wouldn’t respond to any of your texts and you were tired of being ignored.

You didn’t know the specifics, but you knew they closed some deal with another MC, Sons of something , you couldn’t recall. But they were celebrating the deal with an infamous Mayans party.

The lot was littered with motorcycles, bikers, barely dressed women and beer bottles. And inside the clubhouse it was no different.

EZ was at the bar pouring drinks instead of partying. He nodded to you and then pointed in the direction of where Angel was sitting.

Great, the man-whore had two biker bimbos in his lap. Each woman sneered at you when approached him. “Reyes we need to talk.”

“Not right now, Y/N.” Angel replied, not even glancing your way.

“Yeah, go away you big fat black cow,” one of the girls muttered.

Suddenly, the girl was on the ground with Angel standing over her, yelling at her to leave and never to come back. At least Angel never let anyone disrespect you, even if he did.

Deciding to wait him out, you went to the bar, where EZ had a drink waiting for you. “That guy’s a real asshole,” an unfamiliar voice interrupted your pity party.

“Huh,” you turned to the stranger. His kutte wasn’t like the Mayans, so he had to be from the other MC. On the corner it read ‘Prez’ then ‘SAMCRO.’ But his kutte didn’t hold your attention for too long, because his face was so damn beautiful. If you weren’t already half in love with Angel, you would’ve thought he was the best looking guy there.

“That guy’s an asshole for dismissing the most beautiful woman here. But I guess I would be intimidated by you as well.”

“Intimidated? No way, Angel’s not interested in me.”

The stranger pointed the end of his beer towards Angel, who was burning holes on the middle of his head. “Then why is he staring daggers at me?”

“He’s just overprotective.” You told yourself more than him. You couldn’t let yourself hope or you would be heartbroken if you learned Angel didn’t reciprocate your feelings.

The blonde man licked his lips and stared at you. “Wanna test that?”

It seemed the man had good intentions, but you never know with bikers. “How,” you asked suspiciously.

“Do you trust me, sweetheart?”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Jax Teller, president of Sons of Anarchy.” He introduced himself, reaching for your hand for a handshake.

“Y/N Y/L/N, disgruntled best friend.” When you put your hand in his, he pulled you to him, mere inches from his face. Once again he asked if you trusted him and this time you shook your head yes.

In an instant Jax’s lips were claiming yours. He licked the seam of your lips, asking for access inside of your mouth and you granted it. His kiss was fiery and passionate, and you wished you could enjoy it more instead of wishing it was a certain Mayan.

Feeling a pair of hands on your shoulders, you thought it was Jax until you were pulled away. Looking up at the culprit, you saw stormy brown eyes that belong to Angel Reyes. Without saying a word he dragged you out and into EZ’s RV.

“What the fuck was that?” Angel screamed at you. You had to admit he was hot when he was angry, but you didn’t like when he was angry at you.

“It’s called kissing. And here I thought you got passed first base. Guess I was wrong.” Shrugging your shoulders you moved passed Angel to leave, but he quickly blocked your path.

“Why the fuck did you have your lips on another MC’s president? Specifically the one we’re doing business with. What, you want to be some white boy’s cum dump?”

Angel knee he fucked up when he saw the surprised reaction on your face, so he braced himself for what was coming next. Without disappointment, you decked Angel in the face. “Fuck you! How about you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me all day?”

Silently, Angel stood there contemplating if he should tell you the truth. Only thing was, he was taking too long. “Ok, nothing? I guess I’ll be keeping Jax’s bed warm tonight.”

“The dress,” he muttered weakly.

“What about the dress? Did I look that awful in it that you had to avoid me the rest of the day? Because if that’s the case, you’re a real shitty friend Angel Reyes. All you had to say is I looked bad in it.” You continued rambling on how he could’ve told you in different ways that he didn’t like the dress, until he interrupted you.

“Fuck no, querida! I was thinking the opposite!” Calming down, Angel led you to the table and knelt before you while you sat. “I was thinking about how I would love to see you in that dress walking down an aisle towards me. I was thinking about the kids we could have and the fun we would have making them. I was thinking about how I’m in love with my best friend, but I’ll never be enough for her because she deserves better.” At the end of his declaration, Angel laid his head in your lap and cried.

For a moment, his declaration left you stunned, but once you realized you hadn’t said anything, you confessed your own feelings. “I love you, Angel Reyes. And not as a best friend, but as the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Angel lifted his head up to make sure he was hearing you right. Cupping his face, you leaned your forehead against his. “I love you, Angel and if I ever hear you say you’re not good enough for me, I will personally put a cap in your ass. You hear me?”

“You know I get hard every time you threaten to physically hurt me?” He joked, obviously back to his old self.

Weakly you pushed him away, but he wouldn’t budge. “You’re disgusting, Angel!”

“But you love me anyway, like I do you.”

With your arms around his neck, playing with his hair, you replied, “Unfortunately, you’re right.”

Angel snuggled his face in the crook of your neck and began leaving a trail of kisses from your shoulder to your ear. “Dame un beso, querida.” He gruffly commanded into your ear.

Happily obliging, you gave Angel the kiss he asked for. His was much more enjoyable than Jax’s and you knew he ruined you for other men. Angel’s kiss was reminding you that you were always his and always will be. The kiss was stirring up desires, that you would have to apology to EZ for sating them in his RV. Sadly, a knock interrupted any future plans.

“Y/N, you ain’t kill him? It’s too quiet in there.” Coco’s muffled voice carried through. You both stood up and you were about to turn the door knob until Angel stopped you.

He took his kutte off and put it on you. “Just so everyone knows who you belong to. Especially Teller.”

You laughed at Angel’s possessiveness and kissed him quickly. “He was just helping me out.” Angel rolled his eyes, remembering the predatory look in Jax’s eyes when he saw you. “Really, babe. He wanted to see if he could get a rise out of you.”

“Yeah, well this tells him and everyone you’re off limits. Now open the door, before we let Coco loudly know I’m not dead.” He smacked your ass as you opened the door.

When the door completely opened, it revealed all of the Mayans and a couple of the Sons. All of them had smirks on their faces and you assumed it was at how crazy you looked. Your hair was flying everywhere and Angel had your brown lipstick on his lips.

Coco started a slow clap that eventually had all the Mayans joining in. Both you and Angel flipped them off, but they all just laughed it off.

“Angel’s finally got his head out from stuck up his ass. Just took another man taking interest in Y/N.” Bishop commented. Basically everyone had said the same thing and congratulated you two. The only disappointed ones were the girls who hung around the bar. Even Jax congratulated you two, but told you to him up if Angel messed up.

Throughout the night, you and Angel would randomly tell each other ‘I love you.’ And even though, you were hearing and saying it excessively, you knew you would never grow tired of it, because Angel was the one for you and vice versa.

Taglist: @cocooned-butterfly @titty-teetee @dannixchristian @ladydragonpurplefire @sincerelysinister @mrsamaroevans @honeychicana

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Six Pokémon AU

some teams are missing Pokémon because the site i used has yet to update with the Sword and Shield Pokémon so bear with me

Catherine of Aragon

Nicknames and genders: Tempest (female); Queenie (female); Gryffindor (male); Scarlet (female); Bishop (male); Foggy (female)

Tempest is Aragon’s partner. She’s raised her ever since she was a Shinx. They’ve been together all through Aragon’s run as queen.

Scarlet is like Aragon’s second-in-command. Aragon got her as a gift when she was just a Litleo and evolved her into a Pyroar. She and Tempest are inseparable.

The first Pokémon Aragon caught after reincarnation was Queenie, who she just...vibed with. She really liked the Vespiquen’s aura and wanted to add her to the team. And she did!

Gryffindor was named by Cathy, if you couldn’t tell

Anne Boleyn

Nicknames and genders: Bandit (male); Splendid (female); Hokey Pokey (female); Frisk (male); Screech (female); Booboo (male)

Bandit is Anne’s partner. They met when Anne was still very young. He comforted her when she moved to the kingdom and kept her safe.

That being said, Bandit is fiercely protective of Anne

Anne, during a show: And now, Screech!!

Screech, at max volume:

*screeches*

Anne: That’s my girl!!

At least one of her Pokémon are dancing with her

Jane Seymour

Nicknames and genders: Lady (female); Honey (female); Morgana (female); Jewel (female); Nessie (female); Sire (male)

Lady is Jane’s partner.

Lady lost her baby, so she doesn’t have a little Kangaskhan in her pouch.

So she was really protective of Jane when she got pregnant because she didn’t want her human to lose her baby, too.

What a shame that it wasn’t the baby that was lost

Lady stayed alive for a little while after Jane’s death and took care of Edward until her passing.

Honey and Jewel were found together by Lady and Jane when they were just a Sewaddle and Ralts. Jane and Lady raised them and evolved them, so they’re all really close.

After reincarnation, Honey and Jewel got reunited with Jane and Lady. It was very heartwarming

Sire is Jane’s big boy

She loves him so much

Anna of Cleves

Nicknames and genders: Pixie (male); Livewire (male); Ruby (female); Umber (male); Camelot (male); Atlas (female)

Pixie is Cleves’ partner. They became a team when Pixie was a Herdier.

Cleves had several other dog Pokémon, but, unfortunately, Livewire and Ruby were the only ones who made it through reincarnation.

None of her horse Pokémon came back, so when she saw Umber trotting around the nearby park and causing disruptions, she knew she HAD to have him

Camelot is just a babey

He’s heavy but Cleves carries him anyway

Cleves loves Atlas’ attitude

Where does she store all that sass

(Her claws)

Katherine Howard

Nicknames and genders: Duchess (female); Magnificent (female); Dazzling (female); Tulip (female); Wolfie (female); Octavia (female)

Duchess is Katherine’s partner and never evolved because Katherine lowkey was afraid she wouldn’t like her anymore once she becomes a Purugly.

Which is fine for Duchess tbh not evolving doesn’t bother her

After Katherine’s death, Duchess was sold, but died because she stopped eating due to grief over the loss of her trainer.

Them reuniting was very tearful.

Also yeah all of Katherine’s Pokémon are female

She can’t wait until Octavia evolves

Catherine Parr

Nicknames and genders: Clearsight (female); Mastermind (genderless); Dreamcatcher (male); Solar Flare (genderless); Sepia (female); Ballerina (female)

Clearsight is Parr’s partner. She was already a Noctowl when they met, so Parr didn’t evolve her from a Hoothoot. Still, they’re very close.

Parr thinks Mastermind and Solae Flare are very intriguing, so she does a lot of research on them.

She isn’t big on Pokémon battles, but Sepia is her strongest Pokémon

Dreamcatcher sometimes will just curl up on her head and it’s pretty damn cute

Ballerina likes to be out during performances so she can dance

Bessie

Nicknames and genders: Flower (female); King (male); Kohga (male); Caliburn (female); Ombré (female); Ophelia (female)

Flower is Bessie’s partner. The two met when Bessie was being sent to London for Aragon’s wedding. The carriage was destroyed during a storm and the Absol had sheltered the young eleven year old. Since then, they’ve been a team.

Many people were scared of Flower, since Absols were said to being bad omens. Some say she’s why Aragon could never deliver a live male heir.

Aragon let Bessie keep Flower around because she was so weak for her young lady in waiting and Flower wasn’t hurting anyone, despite the suspicions.

However, when Bessie was exiled, Flower and Bessie were separated and never saw each other again, even after Bessie returned to court. Flower had been culled.

Their reunion was even more tearful than Katherine and Duchess’

King was one of Henry’s Pokémon, but Bessie still took him anyway. Because she believed he was good, despite his trainer.

He has some anger problems, but is truly a good Pokémon and is fiercely protective of Bessie.

He will literally inspect any new Pokémon that get added to the team.

Ombré and Ophelia were a buy one get one free deal. They came together as a Venipede and Stunky. Someone at a train station was literally fucking selling them from cages and Bessie felt so bad for them, so she immediately took them in.

Caliburn hatched from an egg that Bessie was given. Bessie didn’t think she had the ability to take care of a baby Pokémon, but she absolutely fell in love with Caliburn the moment she hatched in her arms.

During shows, Bessie would have to leave the egg unattended and that made her so anxious that the baby might hatch without her there.

And since baby Pokémon get attached to whoever they see first, this little Axew thought Bessie was her mama 🥺🥺

Bessie cried

Maria

Nicknames and genders: [not listed- Raboot] Blister (female); [not listed- Rillaboom] Jambu (male); Hamlet (male); Vertigo (male); Borderline (female); Bentley (male)

Both Blister and Jambu are Maria’s partners. She got them both when her parents surprised her with them when she was a little girl and they were just a Scorbunny and Grookey.

She caught Hamlet shortly after reincarnation because he was just so funky!!

She got Bentley through trading and thought he was just So Cool

Borderline is a little distant, but Maria is trying to bond with her more often

Maggie

Nicknames and genders: Azura (female); [Not listed- Amped Toxtricity] Alto (female); Fidget (female); Bo (female); Fathom (male); Mangrove (male)

Technically, Alto is Maggie’s partner. They’ve been together ever since she was just a Toxel.

Then Maggie met Azura and the three of them were a team.

But after Alto evolved into an amped Toxtricity, she and Maggie grew distant, since Maggie had been expecting a low key Toxtricity. And Alto attitude was very hard to get along with.

Speaking of attitude, Alto sometimes straight up refuses to obey Maggie. Like, Maggie tells her to use Thunderbolt, Alto will use Venshock. Or she’ll come out of her PokéBall without being sent out or called.

Because of this, Maggie is trying to keep her inside her PokéBall as much as possible.

After Anne’s death, Bo came along. And Maggie, who was still mourning, thought this ghost type was the spirit of Anne, hence her name.

Joan

Nicknames and genders: [Not listed- Sobble] Indigo (male); Hyde (female); Tenor (male); Grandeur (male); Fatigue (female); Glorybringer/Glory (female)

None of these six were Joan’s original partner, who didn’t seem to come back after reincarnation.

However, in her second life, Indigo is Joan’s partner. She found him out in the cold behind the theater.

When she first came across Tenor she KNEW she needed him.

She caught Hyde while away on a trip because it was cold outside and Hyde just looked like she was freezing. So she snuck her into her hotel room and fed her and when she woke up the next morning, Hyde was curled up with her on the bed. She knew she had to have her on her team.

Except Hyde causes some problems because the two heads fight a lot. And when they fight, it’s vey loud. So Joan gets even less sleep.

So she caught Fatigue! And everyone warned her about Drowzees and Hypnos, but Joan ignored it. She loves her Drowzee!

Fatigue does her best to help her trainer sleep.

Then we got little Grandeur! He was brought back to life from a fossil.

He’s just a babey 🥺🥺

And, finally, Glorybringer! Glory for short

Joan first saw Glory being mistreated by her trainer during a performance (he was mainly pulling on her ears) and confronted him about it after the show.

Glory was so moved by her helping that she ran all the way back to the theater a few days later to find Joan after escaping her trainer.

Joan immediately took her in

Joan never makes Glory battle unless she wants to. Usually, she’ll just hold her and they’ll watch.

(Glory loves being held)

[buckybarnesbingo]

BBB Week 6 Roundup!

Don’t forget that our late card requests are still open until the 22nd!

Title: take you down Collaborator: ABitNotGoodieBag Link: AO3 Square Filled: Kiss Me Ship: BuckySam Rating: Explicit Major Tags: BDSM, explicit sexual content Summary: Bucky is a distracting menace and Sam’s gonna let him know what’s what. Word Count: 4222

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Title: Petals - Chapter 7 Collaborator: DocOlive Link: AO3 Square Filled: K4 - Intimacy without sex Ship: Stucky, IronStrange Rating: Teen Major Tags: Hanahaki disease, emotional constipation, sickfic Summary: “So what you both have, it seems, is a terminal case of idiocy.” Strange swept into the open living area, like he was continuing a conversation Bucky forget they were having. Which, okay, was reasonable, given the massive levels of shit he was feeling at the moment. He glanced over to where Steve was perched at the far end of the couch, pale and sweaty, looking even more delicate than usual. Bucky imagined he looked about as miserable, himself, what with the recent tendency to work up hairballs made of goddamn flowers.  --  Bucky and Steve admit their feelings and feel better. Stephen Strange is an ass. Word Count: 7203

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Title: Save Another Life (It Will Be Worth It) - Chapter 2: Helpless Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: AO3 Square Filled: U4 – restrained Ship: Bucky & Tony & Bruce Rating: Teen Major Tags: child abuse, Dad Bucky & Kid Tony & Kid Bruce, heavy angst and lots of fluff Summary: James' suspicions about Bruce's home life are confirmed in the worst way. Word Count: 6505

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Title: Escape Plan: 12 Percent of a Plan - Chapter 1: 12% of a Plan Collaborator: tisfan Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K4 - Meet Ugly Ship: WinterIronQuill Rating: Teen Major Tags: Prison fic, lack of planning, assholes, but not 100% dicks   Summary: They say the first day in prison, you have to win a fight, or become someone’s bitch. Tony’s got no idea which thing just happened. Word Count: 1480

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Title: Siren -  Chapter 2: Concentrating my moves, I'm on a mission Collaborator: writing-mermaid Link: Tumblr Square Filled: C3 - Free square Ship: Bucky/Reader Rating: Mature Major Tags: Fight, mention of injuries and blood Summary: Y/N is a mutant, a Siren, the last of her kind, with deadly dangerous powers and a hidden past. If most of the Avengers likes and get along with her, Steve doesn’t, and it’s getting worse when Y/N and Bucky become close. After all what can bring two broken souls together if it’s not a dark past. Word Count: 1643

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Title: Artificial Indignities Collaborator: EachPeachPearPlum Link: AO3 Square Filled: C2 - Walking Disaster Ship: WinterHawk Rating: Mature Major Tags: humour, flatulence, attempted cock-blocking Summary: In which Clint makes the mistake of comparing JARVIS and Alexa, and suffers the consequences. Word Count: 1672

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Title: Broken Angels - Chapter 23: For Want of a Cat Collaborator: pherryt Link: AO3 Square Filled: - Cat Ship: Bucky/Clint/Steve/Natasha Rating: Explicit Major Tags: For this chapter, none, for the overall fic: Dark elements, brainwashing, low self worth, violence, canon divergent AU Summary: Winter bonds with Peter and Tony freaks out. Just a little. Word Count: 55,443

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Title: Save Another Life (It Will Be Worth It) - Chapter 3: From Bad To Worse Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: AO3 Square Filled: C5 – the clock is ticking Ship: Bucky & Tony & Bruce Rating: Teen Major Tags: child abuse, Dad Bucky & Kid Tony & Kid Bruce, heavy angst, character death Summary: The bruises on Bruce's face heal. His home life doesn't. James is driven to make a drastic and necessary decision. Word Count: 9421

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Title: where we existed, we invested all our time (just to witness the bitter side of life) Collaborator: asphxdels Link: AO3 Square Filled: K2 - Regrets Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: Hurt No Comfort, Angst, Break Up Summary: “It was selfish and it won’t ever happen again.”  “I know it won’t.” Word Count: 1223

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Title: The Nearness of You [Part One] Collaborator: arrowsandmixtapes Link: Tumblr Square Filled: B5 - Soul Bond Ship: Bucky/Reader Rating: Teen Major Tags: Canon divergence and other creative liberties Summary: While stationed overseas, Bucky Barnes meets a woman his very soul recognizes. Word Count: 3664

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Title: See You Collaborator: sarahbenial Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y1 - Through a Scope Ship: BuckyNat Rating: Mature Major Tags: Non-graphic violence, brief non-graphic sex, smoking   Summary: Bucky’s about to pull the trigger on a target when he’s interrupted by a familiar figure. Word Count: 1975

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Title: Only a Phone Call Away (part 2) Collaborator: riotwritesthings Link: Tumblr Square Filled: C4 - I Regret Nothing Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: teasing, phone sex, marathon sex, orgasm denial Summary: Tony is across the country for work, and then Bucky is across the world for a mission, but they always find a way to keep in touch. Even when Bucky would rather be without the distraction. (Now with chapter 2, featuring Bucky getting his Revenge) Word Count: 4799

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Title: Save Another Life (It Will Be Worth It) - Chapter 4: Turning Point Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: AO3 Square Filled: C4 – anger issues Ship: Bucky & Tony & Bruce Rating: Teen Major Tags: child abuse, recovery (physical and emotional), dad Bucky and kids Tony and Bruce, nightmares Summary: On the run again, James takes care of his boys while Bruce begins his recovery, constantly supported by Tony. Word Count: 12,831

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Title: N/A Collaborator: Trashcanakin [Zain] Link: Tumblr Square Filled: B1 - Baking Ship: Bucky & Kate Bishop Rating: Gen Major Tags: art Summary: [Fanart] Bucky and Kate baking a cake!

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Title: Pressure Rising Collaborator: darter_blue Link: AO3 Square Filled: C3 - free space Ship: Stucky Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content, light D/s, under-negotiated kink Summary: Waking up in a farmhouse, on an apple orchard, in the arms of a man who could bench press a minivan, with eyelashes like a disney princess and shoulders like a greek god is Bucky's fantasy turned reality. Except this is sort of a kidnapping. And his life might be falling apart in the real world. And Bucky might not give a shit, because Steve Rogers is like a drug, and Bucky just can't get enough. Also, it turns out, maybe Bucky is a drug for Steve too... Word Count: 7297

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Title: Save Another Life (It Will Be Worth It) - Chapter 5: Hugs Help Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y3 – abandonment issues Ship: Bucky & Tony & Bruce Rating: Teen Major Tags: past child abuse, recovery, hurt/comfort, all the hugs Summary: James eases some of Bruce's fears, the boys all catch a cold, and hugs help. Word Count: 15,462

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Title: B.B. Bear - Bucky’s Happiness Collaborator: shakespeareanqueer  Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Y5 - Happy Ship: Steve/Becca Barnes Rating: Teen, Mature later Major Tags: Mentions of Bucky’s past/brainwashing Summary: Steve visits Bucky in Wakanda and he is extremely happy. Why? Because someone very special is also there. Word Count: 3103

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Title: How do you poison a weapon? Collaborator: flintrage Link: AO3 Square Filled: B2 - Poison Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: None other than the standard fare you'd expect from the Asset and the STRIKE team; being spoken to as if he isn't a person, etc. Pretty low-key though, this isn't an angsty fic really. Summary: Something is seriously wrong with the Asset. The STRIKE team low-key panics while they try to figure out what they should do about it. Word Count: 704

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Title: Into the Unknown (2/5) Collaborator: diner_drama Link: AO3 Square Filled: B4 - Royalty AU Ship: Stucky Rating: Teen Major Tags: Frozen AU Summary: Bucky's ceremonial waistcoat was itchy, and the crown was making the top of his head uncomfortably sweaty. The assembled dignitaries and ministers were watching him expectantly from around the conference table, waiting for him to open the meeting. He cleared his throat. "Good morning everyone," he started, as he had every week for his interminable tenure as ruler, trying to smile warmly and only somewhat succeeding. "Let's begin this week's business. How are my subjects?" Allowing himself to drift a little, he gazed out of the huge ornamental window, out across the great expanse of the sea, the azure waters lapping against the shore, the dark cerulean of the depths out towards the horizon. At the very edge of his hearing, a nearly imperceptible voice was audible, jolting him into awareness. Abruptly, he dropped his scepter. Word Count: 1310

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Title: Save Another Life (It Will Be Worth It) - Chapter 7: Wouldn't Change A Thing Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 – gray hair Ship: Bucky & Tony & Bruce Rating: Teen Major Tags: fluff and good feels, sass and silliness Summary: The boys grow up, go to school, and turn into the men they were meant to be, with James right there with them. Word Count: 20,336

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Title: No Use Crying Over Spilt Milkshakes Collaborator: pherryt Link: AO3 Square Filled: U3- Soulmates Ship: Bucky/Clint/Steve Rating: Gen Major Tags: angst, soulmates, depression Summary: Clint's feeling abandoned and rudderless with the fall of SHIELD, the lack of Avenger calls, and the disappearances of both Steve and Nat, though he gets why they're both off doing their own things. His best friend could never sit idle and Steve, well, he's got bigger problems than Clint to deal with right now (*cough*Winter Soldier*cough*). It's okay. He'll deal. Somehow. Maybe. Word Count: 5553

[tessxomarie]

Saving You - Part Ten

*TRIGGER WARNING! This scene deals with sexual assault, self-harm and rape. If you need to skip this part, please do so. If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault and need a resource to reach out, please click this link: https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline My inbox is always open if you would like to talk.*

The morning comes quickly. The sunlight peaks through Angel’s bedroom window, and I groan in revolt of the light.

I roll over and notice that the other side of the bed is empty, Angel isn’t here anymore.

I slowly sit up, and that slightest movement causes me to groan again but only this time, it’s from pain. I look down at my arm and I’m quickly reminded of the events of the night prior. “Fuck.” I mumble, as I slowly roll up the flannel to reveal my bandaged wrist.

I know I need to get up, get moving – I have to meet the club later and tell them everything, but the thought of diving into almost ten years of history has me sick to my stomach.

I manage to slowly step out of bed; the unwelcoming pain between my legs greets me as I stand up.

“Jesus.” I mumble. Just as I’m getting myself together, a tall figure greets me in the doorway.

“Hey you.” Angel says with a cup of coffee in hand.

I give him a soft smile, “Morning.” I reply.

“I was just going to come in and check on you, you have some visitors and I think you’re going to need this in order to handle them.” He says with a wink as I give him a look of confusion, but I know in my gut Angel wouldn’t let anyone dangerous in his house, but I still feel unsettled.

“Here, your visitor told me how you liked your coffee.” He whispers as I now meet him at the doorway and take the coffee cup from his hand.

As I walk the few steps from the bedroom to the living room, I see that my visitors are a few of my favorite people – Kendra and EZ.

“Lee, babes come here.” Kendra rushes towards me and brings me in for a huge hug.

I sigh out of relief, “Hi Kenz.” I wheeze a bit from the pain of her squeezing me and just the all over aching.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I forgot you would be hurting.” She replies as she rubs my arm.

“Hey EZ.” I wave at him as he’s standing in the kitchen behind the small breakfast bar.

“How are you feeling, Lee?” He asks.

“I’m sore, but I guess I’m feeling aright.”  I admit.

EZ gives me a weak smile, Angel then meets EZ in the kitchen and I’m caught off guard by their civility.

“Woah, are you two seriously standing in the same room without fighting?” I ask with a small wink, doing so I try to tell myself to act as normal as possible because I do not want the thoughts of last night creeping up on me.

“There’s that Aleeah Sass we all love so much.” EZ spits with a sarcastic tone of his own.

“Serious talk though – “I interject, “Why are you two over here? It’s like, not even 9am.”

Kendra sighs, “I was worried about you. I wasn’t with you last night when everything happened, and I wasn’t with you when you fell asleep. I’m feeling pretty guilty right now, so I just wanted to check on you first thing.” She admits to me, with the saddest look in those honey colored eyes of hers.

“Kenz, please don’t feel guilty. You didn’t do anything wrong – shit, shit happens. But I’ll be okay, and I wasn’t alone last night. I was the safest I’ve been in a very long time.” I explain as I nonchalantly look at Angel in the kitchen and I see his eyes on me.

Kendra wipes a stray tear away from her eye, “I know, it’s just, I feel like I’ve failed you as a friend. I just need you to know that I love you and that I want to be there for you and I hate that I wasn’t there for you last night.”

I wipe the other tear that managed to escape her eyes and we embrace in a big hug. I hate seeing my best friend so low, all because of what had happened to me.

As we make small talk, Angel walks back towards us with a plate containing a bagel with peanut butter. I perk up as this is my go-to breakfast because how can one go wrong with carbs and peanut butter first thing in the morning?

“Here Leah, figured you’d be hungry so eat up.”

“Thanks Angel, but um, how did you know I like peanut butter on my bagel?” I inquire.

“A certain someone called me at 6am checking in on you and suggested a peanut butter bagel would make you very happy.” Angel tells me with a small smile.

I look to Kendra, and she lets out a guilty smile – “I just wanted you to be well cared for, alright?”

“You’re the best, Kenz.” I tell her as I then give her the other half of my bagel.

I go about eating my breakfast when both of the guys phones buzz and then they both give each other this concerning look, which then makes Kendra and I on edge.

“What was that?” Kendra asks.

“Bishop – he said to be at the clubhouse in a half hour, Alvarez is almost here.” EZ answers.

I tense up.

With Marcus nearby, that means my story is about to be told very soon, and the nerves set in.

The next few minutes go by in a haze – Kendra and EZ leave so they can head to the clubhouse together. I slowly eat my bagel as I stare off into the distance before Angel snaps me out of it.

“Leah, are you okay?” He asks as he sits next to me.

I shrug my shoulders as I truly wonder to myself, am I okay?

“I don’t know, just a lot of stuff is going on in my mind right now. Honestly? I’m terrified to tell the MC everything, I mean I want you all to know the truth as to why you’re stuck protecting me, but I just worry you are all going to think I’m crazy or something” I ramble.

Angel laughs, “Leah, take a breath. We’re not stuck protecting you, never think that. Secondly, you could tell all of us the sky is purple, and we would more than likely all be convinced.” Angel tells me which causes me to giggle, which is what I needed.

“Why don’t you go get ready for the day, we’ll leave as soon as you’re ready.” He suggests.

“Solid plan.” I reply as I slowly get off of the couch. I go into the bedroom and take off the shirt Angel lent me…I put it on the side of the bed I was sleeping on, secretly hoping I’ll be returning to this spot later. Jeggings, black tank top and a black cardigan topped with converse is the look for today – the colors representing my mood.

About fifteen minutes later, Angel and I are inside my Jeep and on our way to the clubhouse.

Rather than riding in silence like we did last night, I ignite the first conversation.

“So, um, thank you for this morning – you know, the coffee and bagel.” I start off looking at Angel as he stares out of the windshield. I then continue on, “But not just this morning, last night too. It meant a lot, Angel.” I continue as I grab his hand and lightly squeeze it.

Angel then turns his head to me as we are now at a red light.

“Of course, Leah. I’m glad I could help in the slightest way, even if that meant laying with you. I just wanted to keep you as safe as I could.” He tells me in the softest tone as he looks me in the eyes.

I know I’ve been through hell the last 14 hours, but for whatever reason those brown eyes are sucking me in.

I’m starting to look at Angel in a different way than I ever did. He’s not the stubborn asshole I’m used to dealing with, he’s actually a gentle giant with a big heart.

We arrive at the yard a few moments after out brief exchange. Chucky is there to greet us as usual, and I see everyone’s bikes.

“Shit.” I mumble, the realization that everyone is here waiting on me and I’m going to be telling them everything within just a few moments has me starting to panic.

“Hey hey, Leah, breathe babe. You just need to breathe. Everything is going to be alright and this shit is going to be sorted out and taken care of, I promise.” Angel assures me as he intertwines our fingers as we are still in my Jeep.

I nod my head and do as Angel says, take a deep breath.

I can do this, I tell myself.

Angel walks me into the clubhouse, and I’m greeted by everyone.

“Aleeah! Baby girl, you had us so worried. How are you?” Riz asks as he greets me first.

“I’m alright.” I truthfully say.

“Hey there sweetheart.” Bishop says with a small smile and open arms for a hug.

“Marcus will be here any moment.” He whispers to me, and I simply nod my head.

Angel hasn’t left my side. It’s like he’s my personal body guard, everywhere I go in the clubhouse he follows and each way I look, he does a double take.

I stay mute for those few moments, until there is a roar of bikes entering the yard.

I take a seat on one of the bigger chairs set up in the area, and I wait for Marcus to enter.

“Holy shit.” I hear Creeper say as he opens the door, “Samcro is here too.” He announces.

My stomach has dropped.

Samcro, what the fuck are they doing here?

Kendra looks over at me and comes and gives me a quick hug, “They’re here because they love you, okay?” 

Stop questioning and doubting yourself, I tell myself.

The clubhouse door opens, and walking in I see Marcus, with Chibs and Tig behind him.

Yup, it’s real – the Sons of Anarchy are here.  

Lord help me.

I remain frozen in my chair until I see Marcus walk in with Chibs and Tig.

“Aleeah.” Marcus breathlessly says, his face tells me he’s in disbelief but relief to see me.

I nervously stand up and approach him, but he greets me with open arms.

“Leah, I’m so sorry.” Marcus whispers to me in a shaky voice.

After we break our hug, I turn to Chibs and Tig and their faces are the same as Marcus’; they are relieved to see me but are in shock.

“Leah darlin’, c’mere.” Chibs says to me as he pulls me in for one of the biggest hugs I’ve ever received.

“Hey Chibs.” I mutter during our embrace, pulling away with a somber expression on my face.

“We’re going to make this right, aye? This shite gets taken care of immediately.” He assures me as he cups my face. The longer Chibs looks me in the eyes, he soon becomes emotional. “I had one fucking thing to do when it came to you – keep you safe, that’s all Jackie told me to do. I failed.”

Seeing Chibs tear up, causes me to tear up, especially after hearing Jax’s name.

“Hey, brother. We’re going to handle this. Jax knows that, and he would be doing the same thing we’re doing now.” Tig chimes in as he comes over to console Chibs, as he does so he also scoops me under his arm for an embrace.

“We promise to fix this, Leah. For you, for Jax and for Tara. We’re going to right the wrongs and make our Jax proud.”

“I second that promise, Aleeah. That’s why we’re all here, we’re here to help you and we’re here to make things right.” Marcus adds in as I let go of the Sons embrace.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you last night, I was just…” I start off explaining to Marcus, but he waves me off. “Please, Aleeah, don’t apologize.” He says.

“Well, is it okay if I explain why I wanted you here this morning aside from the obvious?” I ask with a nervous look.

“Of course, mija. What is it that you need?” Marcus asks as he looks dead into my eyes, I then slowly look around me.

Chibs. Tig. Angel. EZ. Bishop. The rest of the guys, Kendra – all of their eyes are on me right now.

I have to tell them, I need to come clean.

I then look up at Marcus, and with a shaky nervous voice, I find some confidence.

“I need to tell everyone in this room the truth – the truth about why Santo Padre has to look over me, the truth about how I’m connected to Samcro, and the truth about last night and how it wasn’t the first time.”

Gasps fill the room. Faces drop. Before anyone can say a word, I simply ask for their attention.

“I really need you all to listen, please.” I beg as I walk over to the big chair I was seated at before. “You all need to hear my story, no more secrets – you all need to know what I’ve been through.” I explain as I look everyone in their eyes as I scan the room.

Kendra has since moved next to me on my right side, Angel has now taken a seat right next to me on my left; EZ right next to him. Marcus, Chibs, Tig and Bishop are sitting directly in front of me at a table, while everyone else is closely scattered around.

“I don’t even know how or where to start.” I say with nerves, “I never knew if I’d get the chance to tell any of you this, but here I am. I um, I guess we can just start with why Chibs and Tig are here, Samcro made a promise to Jax Teller, who made a promise to his wife Tara; that no matter what, I’d be protected. If I wasn’t in Sons territory, then Marcus and the Mayans were to look after me – Jax made sure of that.”

“I know some of you aren’t familiar with the significance of Jax’s promise, but I know Marcus and Bishop are, they can explain that story to you guys one day. Chibs and Tig, I know you both feel tremendous guilt right now, but please don’t. You both did not fail Jax, none of us here did. I’m sure an explanation of how the hell I even crossed paths with Jax is burning in your brains, well um, I met Jax back in the spring of 2011. I was a fresh 18 year old, about to graduate high school who was coping with a drug addict mother and a father sentenced to ten years in prison for lying under oath.” I start off, explaining to the guys the same way I did with Angel the night prior about my parents and home life.

“When my dad refused to see me the second time, I lost it. I fucking lost in there, one of the guard’s – he was one of the few with a heart, he felt awful for me and he told me he wished he could do something but he couldn’t. So um, I stormed out of there fiddling with my purse in the parking lot – my dumbass ended up spilling half of my purse on the sidewalk and I said a rainbow of expletives and that’s when a woman approached me, Tara Knowles.” I tell everyone, and as soon as I say her name, I instantly go back to that day in 2011 when I first met Tara.

*Flashback to 2011*

“Uh, excuse me, I believe this is yours.” A woman with dark hair, carrying a baby carrier says to me as she hands me my little change purse.

“Thank you, I can be such a fucking klutz sometimes.” I say, and then I realize I just swore in front of a baby, “Jesus, I’m so sorry for my language. Expletives are just flowing out of me today.” I explain.

“No need to apologize. I have my share of days too. I saw you in there earlier, are you okay?” the woman asks.

“I wish I could say I’m fine but that’s a lie. I’m a fucking mess.” I confess.  “I’m sorry, again. You’re just being a helpful stranger, you don’t need to hear my sob story. You need to carry on with your life and that precious baby of yours.” I say as I point to the woman’s infant carrier.

“He just fell asleep, I have a few moments. Come here, sit down here on the curb. Talk to me, you clearly need to talk.”

I look at the woman hesitant, and then the woman formally introduces herself.

“Okay how about this, Hi, my name is Tara. This is my son Thomas. We were here to visit his father, he’s in here for a few more months but these visits never get easier.”

I then join Tara on the curb.

“Hi Tara, my name is Leah. I was here to visit my Dad. He’s in here for a long time, and this is the second time this month where he didn’t want to see me – I talk to him on the phone once a week, but to have him reject me like this, it fucking sucks. Shit, I’m sorry for swearing Thomas. Even though you’re a baby and can’t understand me, I should be better. But um, it’s not just dealing with my Dad, my mom – she likes her drugs, the ones that get you super fucked up. It’s only gotten worse since he was sentenced. She skipped town, calls me here and there. With school and stuff, I have no idea what to do. It’s just a lot, ya know? But I’ll figure it out. I always do.” I pour out to Tara, and then Tara wraps her arm around me in a motherly way.

“Oh Leah, I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, I guess he’s having issues coping with this sentence. We all are. My dad isn’t a bad man, he made a choice to save someone’s life but the price he had to pay was fucking prison time.”

Tara laughs sarcastically, “You and I have a lot in common, Leah.”

We shared some common interests and whatnot for a few moments. I then revealed to Tara that I was staying with my Grandmother outside of Charming, and Tara is intrigued as Charming is where she also calls home.

“Thank you for sitting and talking with me. I appreciate it.” I say to Tara.

“You’re welcome, Leah. You know what, here – let me give you my number. If you’re going to be up here next weekend or the following weekend, I’d be happy to give you a ride. You shouldn’t have to do this all alone.”

I’m hesitant at accepting Tara’s offer, I mean I just met her – if she’s dating and reproducing with a felon, like what are the odds that she isn’t like him?

“Leah, I mean it. I will happily give you a ride. It would make me so much happier to drive with you than my semi psychotic mother in law.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to. It’s just, my mom used to the say same thing about my Grandma when they were on speaking terms. But wait, I thought you said you weren’t married?” I ask with a lot of confusion.

Tara chuckles and rolls her eyes, “Yeah, it’s complicated I guess but she’s basically my mother in law, and she is very much psychotic.” Tara explains.

I let out another light laugh, “So um, yeah. I’ll call you later this week? If that’s okay? I really appreciate this Tara.”

“You’re welcome, Leah. Get home safely.” Tara last says to me as she and Thomas head to their car.

*End of flashback*

Meeting Tara, and then developing this relationship with her, it was the best blessing I could have received during that time. God, I miss her.

“The following weekend, I drove with Tara as we waited to see our loved ones. Shocker, Jesse didn’t want to see me. When the guard told me, it looked like he had tears in his eyes. He walked me over to Tara and I tried so hard to not cry. Before I could have a full blown meltdown, Jax had joined our table. The smile on his face, to see Tara and to see Thomas, that made my heart smile because that’s how my dad used to smile when he saw me. That was the day Jax told me he would try to see what Jesse’s deal was, he kept his word, turns out my dad was in a depressive state being a coward not wanting to talk to me because my mom had contacted him saying she left me with Grams. That’s a whole entirely different story that’s irrelevant, so um, back to Jax. Um, once he got out, he and Tara would meet with me about once a month for lunch or at the park with the boys – just a courtesy check in. Those days were always my favorite. They continued until Tara died. God, that was fucking awful.” I pause, recounting the awful letter I received from Jax regarding Tara.

Tara died a year after I lost Grams, and my own mother died just two weeks before Tara. 2013 was a shitty year. 2014 wasn’t better, as that’s when Jax died.

I fill in the parts of how Jax still kept tabs on me, and how my last conversation with Jax was.

It was just a week before he died, and I feel the chills up my spine thinking back; if I knew what I knew now back at that last meeting, I would have hugged Jax a little longer.

“Jax’s last words to me were, ‘I promise you will be safe, you will be protected and you will not have to be afraid. You’re going to be taken care of Leah, and you are going to do great things – Tara told me so, she knew from the moment she met you. She made me promise that we look out for you, and I’m keeping that promise.’

Jax made sure to assure me I’d be safe, protected and not live in fear because before Tara’s passing, I reached out because my mom’s drug dealer boyfriend used me as a personal punching bag and I retaliated.

I shot the asshole in the leg, and fled to my bathroom where I reverted to old habits. The docs kept me overnight for a psych eval, my mom said I should be locked up because ‘what freak shoots someone then slits their wrists?’” I pause again, looking around and everyone is invested into my story and part of me is in disbelief.

“Part of Jax’s final instructions were to have me wait to hear from Chibs and Marcus. Chibs contacted me first, and then did Marcus and us three had a meeting about what’s next for me. I was trying to apply to nursing programs, but I need a job and all that bullshit. Chibs gave me some survival money meanwhile Marcus got me a job at one of the local bar and grille’s.

It was a great setup, I lived with Eva for a few months before I got in my first apartment. Work was steady, school was a bitch but I met Kendra so it all evened out.” I explain as I give Kenz a friendly squeeze as she’s been holding my hand the entire time.

“Everything felt like it was falling into place, for a little white girl working in a latino neighborhood, I was accepted and everyone made me feel like I mattered, like they gave a damn about me and that fucking felt so good.” I say with a smile at the memories of my regular customers who would always compliment my smile, my hair, my overall energy and that they enjoyed me being in their community.

“But, all good things must come to an end, right?” I ask, looking up and Kendra as she knows which part is coming next.

“February 18th, 2017. It was a Saturday night, Marcus and his crew rented out half of the bar that night for a birthday party for one of the guy’s. It was great, I was working, Kendra was going to be there. Eva too. I got to hang out with my new found family and get paid for it, it was great.

It was great until Erik Rodrigo showed up.” I say flatly and look at Marcus, and his face drops. Bishop looks at Marcus and becomes eager.

“I first noticed Erik when he was sitting at the head table with some of the other members, I could sense him watching me every time I came by to drop off food or a drink. I tried not to think anything of it, but I could not shake the feeling of his eyes on me. Kendra was here at this point, she was sitting with some of the other wives and girls, I had to go in the back to get more silverware and napkins. Somehow, someway, Erik followed me, and he pulled me into the closet next to our kitchen doors. He pinned me against the wall and pulled out a knife, said ‘You scream, you die.’ I was terrified, so I didn’t move.” I tell everyone and my eyes are now staring off into a daze, as the memory of that night is all flooding back.

“He said he had noticed I was around the club a lot, he told me he didn’t know if someone had claimed me yet, he said he was watching me that night so he could see who I belonged to. That’s when he said “You now belong to me, and I’m going to prove it to you…” I say with a shaky voice, but I continue, “You’re going to scream my name and tell me you’re mine, you’re my little slut. You got that, you biker slut?’ Then, he put his hand around my neck and used the other to rip off my clothes.”

I pause, because the memory of Erik’s dark demon eyes are now creeping back up into my memory and the events of last night are not helping.

“Leah, you don’t have to continue.” Angel whispers to me which causes me to flinch, only because he snapped me out of my daze. I startled Angel with my reaction, and when I meet his eyes, they are filled with worry and anger.

“Sorry.” I mumble as tears are forming.

“Leah darlin’, you do not have to relive that night or last night. Please. Stop if you need to.” Chibs says to me with his hands in a praying formation.

I wipe my eyes and sniffle a few sniffles, “No, I need to continue.” I shout,  “I need you all to know why I did what I did last night, because Erik was the one who attacked and raped me last night. He was the one who groped me at Tessa’s party, he was the one who made me slit my wrist’s twice. He’s the one who has made me question if Jax truly meant his promise, made me question if Marcus truly gives a damn, or if any man on this planet gives a damn about me because all I know is that the important men in my life fucking leave, they leave me and I am left with nothing but blood stained wrists!” I start to yell as the tears get uglier and uglier until I break out in uncontrollable sobs.

Kendra is crying as well, as she is now on the arm of the chair and is trying to console me.

“Leah, babe, let’s get you in Church.” Angel whispers, and I don’t even fight him. He slowly helps me up and walks me to church.

“Erik is the reason Leah acted out at Tessa’s party, primo. I saw it in her eye’s that something wasn’t right.” I hear Bishop loudly tell Marcus, “I didn’t do a damn thing, I let her go. We can’t keep letting this motherfucker do this.” Bishop demands.

“Where is this fuckin’ piece of shite at? We are going to fuckin’ blow his balls off, aye?” I hear Chibs say as Angel now has me in Church and he closes the door before I can hear Marcus’s reply.

“Here, sit. Breathe, Leah.” Angel tells me as he kneels in front of me and rubs my wrist.

“Angel, you can’t let them leave right now and go after Erik.” I say in a panic as I try to catch my breath.

Angel’s face grows with concern and worry.

“Babe, what are you talking about?” Angel asks as he gently puts a piece of hair behind my ear and gently tries to calm me down, poor guy has no idea what I want to do right now.

“No one from Samcro or the Mayans are going to touch Erik before me.” I demand, tears still dripping down my face.

“Leah, what do you mean?” Angel asks with growing concern.

I take a deep breath and look into those big brown eyes, the eyes that have given me a safe haven the last half day.

“I’m going to be the one who kills Erik. I need to, and I need you and the men out there to understand and respect that, and please grant me the one thing I need to do. Please.” I beg and plead.

Angel simply nods his head and brings me in for a much needed hug, and with that assurance, I start to cry all over again.

My nightmare is finally going to end, once and for all.

[plotbunnyshipper]

Book Recommendations

Instead of writing I’ve been spending my time re-reading so many of my favorites in my free snippets of time. I figure I’ll list a few in case anyone might feel the need for picking up a new book that may become one of their favorites.

Fantasy is always a favorite of mine in its many sub-genres, also first person storytelling is not a requirement but helps for immersion in the story when done well. And listing these out and going over them again it just reinforces my love of snark and sarcasm and antiheros.

I also have zero hesitation about starting a series a few books in, or in the middle and then going through everything else. (Did this with Black Jewels Series, Chronicles of the Shadow War, The Hollows). Tend to have a lot of YA in here because I grabbed lots of random when I was younger, and nowadays don’t get to read as much brand new other than new authors on Ao3.

List here (not in any sort of order), details below the cut. When the whole/most of series is fantastic I try to list the series rather than the individual book. If you see some in here that you also love and want to suggest a few not listed back at me, please feel free. Even if these aren’t ones you know or love, feel free to recommend, here or in an ask, even an anon one. I love reading, I’m not grabbing as much random published as I used to but published or online, it’s all good. I still remember the first fanfic author that I adored. To this day I’ll still go back and reread the Sailor Moon fic she wrote because it was just that good, so really. This list is by no means complete, they’re just the ones I have on my Kindle and closest bookshelf.

Chronicles of the Shadow War by Chris Claremont and George Lucas

Uprooted by Naomi Novik 

Queen’s Thief Series by Megan Whalen Turner

Various throughout the designations below by Neil Gaiman

Neverveil series by Amy McNulty  

The Sleeping Prince Series by Melinda Salisbury

The Sin Eater’s Daughter by Melinda Salisbury

Red Queen series by Victoria Aveyard

Fairy Keeper by Amy Bearce

The Enchanted Forest series by Patricia C Wrede

The Raven Ring by Patricia C. Wrede

Anne McCaffery - Harper Hall/Pern series, Tower and Hive series, Acorna series

The Black Jewels Series by Anne Bishop

Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas

Three Dark Crowns series by Kendare Blake

Necromancer/Firebug Series by Lish McBride

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

The Hollows by Kim Harrison

Enchantment by Orson Scott Card

The Others Series by Anne Bishop

Georgina Kincaid series by Richelle Mead

Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips

Wicked Saga by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Antigoddess series by Kendare Blake

Night Huntress by Jeaniene Frost 

Meredith Gentry series by Laurell K. Hamilton

Hunter: Thieves series by Lexi Blake

Dissonance series by Erica O’Rourke 

The Host by Stephenie Meyer

The Last Girl by Joe Hart

Secondborn series by Amy A. Bartol

Rebel of the Sands by Alwyn Hamilton

Beastkeeper by Cat Hellisen

A Madness So Discrete by Mindy McGinnis

VIP series by Kristen Callihan

Lonely Kings series by Ava Lore

High Fantasy

Chronicles of the Shadow War by Chris Claremont and George Lucas (Shadow Moon, Shadow Dawn, Shadow Star). Picked it up what ended up being the second book randomly at the library, not reading anything about it and was like that name, Elora sounds really familiar, and then hmmm this Thorn Drumheller seems an awful lot like Willow from the movie. Had loved the movie and was very happy to figure out that this was a ~15 years later sequel. 

Uprooted by Naomi Novik - Pulled me in at the start and was a wonderful read. First Person, which I love, pulled in familiar myth and fairytale elements as well as great original elements. Same world but different characters sequel is Spinning Silver - also very good but not as good as the first. If you need additional reasons to read the author is one of the ones helping with Ao3 - “Her own adventures include pillaging degrees in English literature and computer science from various ivory towers, designing computer games, and helping to build the Archive of Our Own for fanfiction and other fanworks. Novik is a co-founder of the Organization for Transformative Works.“

“Our Dragon doesn’t eat the girls he takes, no matter what stories they tell outside our valley. We hear them sometimes, from travelers passing through. They talk as though we were doing human sacrifice, and he were a real dragon. Of course that’s not true: he may be a wizard and immortal, but he’s still a man, and our fathers would band together and kill him if he wanted to eat one of us every ten years. He protects us against the Wood, and we’re grateful, but not that grateful.”

Queen’s Thief Series by Megan Whalen Turner - Good god do I love an antihero. And a first person thief? It takes me back to my love of the Raven Ring. The worldbuilding, the (as much as I find the term obnoxious due to overuse in almost any story that incorporates BDSM to describe someone baiting or attempting to top from the bottom) sass, the antagonizing by the main character. It is a YA so when things happen that are ‘reveals’ later on you’ll notice them, they’re not “OMG I’m so surprised!” but it’s very, very well done. First book - Aces, second book also fantastic, third....hmmmmm would like the POV’s from the first and second books rather than this new one, but has a great scene I’ll quote below.

The Thief (Book 1)

“Are you really named after the god of thieves?” “I am.”

“Well, how could they tell what you were going to be when you were just a baby?”

“How did they know what you were going to be when you were a baby?”

“My father was a duke.”

“So my mother was a thief.”

“So you would have to grow up to be one, too?”

“Most of the people in my family thought so. My father wanted me to be a soldier, but he’s been disappointed.”

Behind us I heard Pol grunt. He no doubt thought my father’s disappointment was justified.

“Your father? He did?”

Sophos sounded so surprised that I looked over at him and asked, “Why shouldn’t he?”

“Oh, well, I mean…” Sophos turned red, and I wondered about the circulation of his blood; maybe his body kept an extra supply of it in his head, ready for blushing.

“What surprises you?” I asked. “That my father was a soldier? Or that I knew him? Did you think that I was illegitimate?”

Sophos opened and closed his mouth without saying anything.

I told him that no, I wasn’t illegitimate. “I even have brothers and sisters,” I told him, “with the same father.” Poor Sophos looked as if he wanted the ground to swallow him.

The King of Attolia (Book 3) condensing down a tiny bit with the [...]’s

The king couldn’t lie on a deathbed with a sense of dignity. The attendants were all on the verge of breaking into laughter, and the king, far from minding, was enjoying every minute of it.

The queen’s lips thinned.

“I am very sorry,” the physician said helplessly.

“Stop apologizing and hurry.”

“Your Majesty, I…” Petrus looked as if he was about to cry.

Ornon spoke firmly from behind the doctor. “Your Majesty is upsetting his physician.” […] The doctor bent over the wound again. The king made a face, but was silent. The doctor looked up momentarily in astonishment but returned to his work, eager to finish before this reprieve passed.

The king lay still and made no sound. As Petrus pulled his first stitches tight, the king took a deeper breath and didn’t let it go. After a long count of ten, he softly released the breath and took another.

There were three people between Costis and the queen. Costis knocked all three of them aside like pegs in a counting game and dropped to his knees in time to catch the queen as she collapsed into his outspread arms.

He’d seen her, white as wax, from the corner of his eye and, seeing her waver, had known she was fainting, but too late to do anything but catch her.

“The queen!” someone shouted in alarm, and the king erupted like a wild animal caught in a snare. […] “My stitches, my stitches!” the physician yelled.

“Your Majesty, Your Majesty!”

“Damn your stitches!” he snarled. “Let me up.” […] He splayed his hand across the king’s face and slammed his head back hard against the pillow. Keeping his hand planted on the king’s face, he leaned over and roared into his ear, “The queen is fine!”

Eugenides was still. The men around the bed froze as well.

“Irene?” the king called.

“She fainted. That’s all,” Ornon said more quietly. “There is a great deal of blood. She is a woman and she was upset. It is not a surprising reaction.” […] On the bed, Eugenides stirred restlessly. “Upset at the sight of blood?” he said. “Not my wife, Ornon.”

“Your blood,” the ambassador pointed out.

Eugenides glanced at the hook on his arm and conceded the point. “Yes,” he said. […] “Get on with it,” said the king. He hardly seemed to notice when the stitching began. He looked toward the doorway, toward the queen, but spoke to the Eddisian Ambassador. “I think, in future, Ornon, I will stick to upsetting my physician.”

Stardust by Neil Gaiman - Lost too many copies, including my first edition of this by lending it out and never getting it back. I’m having trouble trying to say why you need to give these Neil Gaiman books a chance but goodness, all of them, all of them! I’ve never read a bad one. He’s got a beautiful and enticing way of writing - Favorites in order American Gods, Good Omens, Smoke and Mirrors (short stories), Stardust, Ocean at the End of the Lane, Coraline, The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish.

American Gods

“You working for our man then?” asked the bearded man. He was not sober, although he was not yet drunk.

“It looks that way,” said Shadow. “What do you do?”

The bearded man lit his cigarette. “I’m a leprechaun,” he said, with a grin.

Shadow did not smile. “Really?” he said. “Shouldn’t you be drinking Guinness?”

“Stereotypes. You have to learn to think outside the box,” said the bearded man. “There’s a lot more to Ireland than Guinness.”

“You don’t have an Irish accent.”

“I’ve been over here too fucken long.”

“So you are originally from Ireland?”

“I told you. I’m a leprechaun. We don’t come from fucken Moscow.”

Neverveil series by Amy McNulty - First person, great worldbuilding. Also representation of POC for the majority of characters if you’re looking for a book with that particular feature. Cyclical, fallible main characters, overall a fast and enjoyable read.

The Sleeping Prince Series by Melinda Salisbury

The Sin Eater’s Daughter by Melinda Salisbury

Red Queen series by Victoria Aveyard - YA

Fairy Keeper by Amy Bearce - Loved the first of this series, not as much the following books, first one, Fairy Keeper, is definately worth the read. YA

The Enchanted Forest series by Patricia C Wrede Classic, some of my first favorites.It is a youth series but I will never ever stop loving it. Also the Magic & Malice books.

The Raven Ring by Patricia C. Wrede - the first time I remember falling in love with the antihero as a young reader. It is fantastic.

Anne McCaffery - Read Dragon Drums in 5th grade by random pickup at the library and was hooked. From there went through the other Harper Hall/Pern series, then the Tower and Hive series, then the Acorna series. A great mix of both fantasy and sci fi, and fantasy with sci fi history.

Dark Fantasy

The Black Jewels Series by Anne Bishop - it was difficult to get into this at first, for me, I owned the series for a couple years could not get into it no matter how many times I read the first chapter. Then I picked up and read one of the “short stories” more of a novella, “The Prince of Ebon Rih,” in Dreams Made Flesh. One note - ignore the names of the three main male characters. Just... I love *LOVE* this series but ‘Daemon,” “Lucivar,” and “Saetan SaDiablo” are...just ignore that and you’re good. Strong women and men, family and friends, who have a fierce love for each other, tremendous amount of snark that I adore, if only there were more books on Surreal, and Saetan, and Tersa, and Rainer, and Chaosti, and the First Circle of the Dark Court, and anyone, I would read any additional stories in this series. There are so very many passages I’d use to try and draw interest so I’ll just grab a few

Karla let out a screech that raised the hairs on Saetan's neck.

"You've got tits!" Karla pulled open the blue jacket, revealing a silver, just as skimpy top. "So do I, if you call these lovely little bee stings tits." Smiling the wickedest smile Saetan had ever seen, she turned back to him. "What do you think?"

He didn't stop to think. "Are you asking if I think they're lovely or if I think they're bee strings?"

Karla closed the jacket, crossed her arms, and narrowed those ice-blue eyes. "Sassy, isn't he?"

"Well, he is a Warlord Prince," Jaenelle replied.

Ice-blue eyes met sapphire eyes. Both girls smiled.

Karla shrugged. "Oh, all right. I'll be a polite guest." She stepped up to Saetan, and that wicked smile bloomed. "Kiss kiss."

He refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing him wince.

Yet another

"Are you lost?" 

Daemon glanced over to where Lucivar leaned against a doorway. "I'm not lost," he snapped. Then he stopped pacing and sighed. "But I am very confused." 

"Of course you are. You're male." Grinning at Daemon's snarl, Lucivar stepped into the courtyard. "So if one of the darlings in the coven offers to explain things to you, don't take her up on it. She'll sincerely be trying to help, but by the time she's done 'unconfusing' you, you'll be banging your head against a wall and whimpering."

"Why?" 

"Because for every five rules you'd learned in Terreille about a male's proper behavior in a court, the Kaeleer Blood know only one of them—and they interpret it very differently." 

Daemon shrugged "Obedience is obedience." 

"No, it's not. For Blood males, the First Law is to honor, cherish, and protect. The second is to serve. The third is to obey." 

"And if obedience interferes with the first two laws?" 

"Toss it out the window." 

Daemon blinked. "You actually get away with that?" 

Lucivar scratched the back of his head and looked thoughtful. "It's not so much a question of getting away with it. For Warlord Princes, it's almost a requirement of court service. However, if you ignore an order from the Steward or the Master of the Guard, you'd better be sure you can justify your action and be willing to accept the consequences if they won't accept it, which is rare. I got into more trouble with the High Lord as my father than as the Steward."

And another

In lieu of a knock, she walloped the study door once and then stomped up to the blackwood desk where Saetan sat watching her, a glass of brandy raised halfway to his lips. 

Daemon and Lucivar, comfortably slouched in two chairs in front of the desk, just stared at her. 

Now that she was there, she wasn't quite as willing to address the High Lord directly, so she half turned toward Daemon and Lucivar and tossed out the question, "Don't I have the right to decide if I want a male in my bed?" 

The air behind the desk instantly chilled, but Lucivar said blandly, "Graysfang?" and the air returned to normal. 

The smirk in Lucivar's voice had her turning toward him fully. "I don't know about you, but I'm not used to sleeping with a wolf." 

"What's wrong with Graysfang staying with you?" Daemon asked. 

The soothing tone he was putting into his voice only infuriated her. "He farts," she snapped, then waved her hand dismissively. "Well, so do the rest of you." 

Someone made a choking sound. She thought it was Daemon. 

"Do you resent his being there because he's a wolf or because he's interfering with another kind of male warming your bed?" Lucivar asked. 

Maybe it hadn't been meant as a slur that she used to be a whore, but she took it as such because then she could vent her temper on him. "Well, sugar, from where I'm standing, there's not much to choose between you. He takes up more than his share of the bed, he snores, and he gives slobbery kisses. But if I had to choose, I'd pick him. At least he can lick his own balls!" 

A glass hit the desk with an ominous thunk.

Surreal closed her eyes and bit her lip. 

Shit. She'd been so focused on being mad at Lucivar, she'd forgotten about the High Lord.

Different book in the series, Queen of the Darkness

“I could have handled that bastard.”

Falonar looked insulted. “It’s a male’s right to defend and protect.”

Surreal bared her teeth. “I’ve heard that song before, and-”

“Then you should heed that song, Lady - and respect it.”

“Why? Because poor little me isn’t capable of handling myself in a fight?” she said with venom-laced sweetness.

“Because you’re deadlier,” he snarled. He paced a few steps away from her, swore, paced back. “That’s why males defend, Lady Surreal. Because you females are deadlier when you’re roused-and you’re merciless when you’re riding the killing edge. At least if I go down first in a fight, I don’t have to deal with you afterward.

”Not sure if she’d just been complimented or insulted, Surreal said nothing.

Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas - First person, great worldbuilding, very very similar elements to Anne Bishop’s Black Jewels series in everything from the mannerisms, to the Illyrians vs Eryins, to the need of draining power descriptions and customs (I was 100% convinced it was Anne Bishop venturing into first person and ghostwriting an alternate version of the Black Jewels world for a long time). Didn’t care for the romantic lead in the first book, thankfully the hinting of book 1 transitioned into book 2 and <3 oh I love it. Supposedly a sort of inspired by classic fairy tales (like beauty and the beast) but it’s not like you’re sitting there reading a progression of that story like other books do. The Throne of Glass series is also very good, more original but again very Anne Bishop in it’s feel/wording (the purred words, midnight voices, the level of protectiveness bowels turned to water when terrified) 

Really enjoy the series but since I posted so much of Anne Bishop I figure I’ll just do a quasi related suggestion of threesomes that I found fun and funny. Court of Wings and Ruin... for now editing to avoid spoilers

“You never know until you try,” Helion purred.

The three of them in bed...with him? I must have been blinking like a fool because [<3] said to me, Helion favors both males and females. Usually together in his bed. And has been hounding that trio for centuries.

I considered--Helion’s beauty and the others...Why the hell haven’t they said yes?

[<3] barked a laugh that had all of them looking at him with raised brows.

[<3] just came up behind me and slid his arms around my waist, pressing a kiss to my neck. Would you like someone to join us in bed, Feyre [...]?

My skin stretched tight over my bones at the tone, the suggestion. You’re incorrigible.

I’d think you’d like two males worshipping you.

My toes curled.

Mor cleared her throat. “Whatever you’re saying mind to mind, either share it or go to another room so we don’t have to sit here, stewing in your scents.” 

I stuck out my tongue. [<3] laughed again, kissing my neck once more before saying, “Apologies for offending your delicate sensibilities, cousin.”

A Court of Frost and Starlight

If both of us went in there, I knew my sister would see it as an attack.

So it would be me. Alone

[<3] kissed my brow. “If someone propositions you, tell them we’ll both be free in an hour.”

“Och.” I waved him off, banking my powers to a near-whisper within me.

He blew me a kiss.

I waved that away, too, and slipped through the tavern door.

Three Dark Crowns series by Kendare Blake -

Urban Fantasy & Paranormal Romance

Necromancer/Firebug Series by Lish McBride - first person, hilarious, and fantastic

Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

Oh, good, he was crazy and scary. What an awesome combination. I let  go of his wrists with one hand and leverages myself back enough so I could pull my T-shirt out of his grip. I dropped to the floor, knowing full well that he let me do it.

Freaks & Other Family

I tried to walk on my own to Mrs. W’s car, but Ramon got tired of watching me wobble like a baby deer and scooped me up and carried me.

I grinned at him. “Take me to bed or lose me forever.”

“I can’t believe you’re Top Gun-ing me right now. We almost died.”

“I’m going to blame the head injury,” I said, patting his chest. “You’re supposed to say, ‘show me the way home, honey.’“

“I will do no such thing, and you can’t blame it on the head injury, because you say those kinds of things to me all the time.”

“This is true. Let’s go on a crime spree then, and we’ll blame that on the head injury.”

“You can’t even walk. We need to get you home so you can rest,” Ramon said firmly.

“Yeah, so we can then explain to James how we both managed to completely rune the top-of-the-line tuxedo rentals we’re wearing.” Top-of-the-line to me. James had sneered openly at them before throwing up his hands in despair, which wouldn’t stop him from berating us. If anything, I think he’d find it more insulting somehow, and the fact that we’d ruined only semi-decent tuxes instead of really nice tuxes would just be salt in the wound.

Ramon paused as we both thought that over. Mrs. W pulled ahead of us, fishing her keys out of her clutch.

“Shit,” Ramon said. “I hadn’t thought about that.”

We both stared out into the night, silent as we contemplated our impending dooms.

“Head injury,” we both said at the same time.

“We can definitely blame the suits on that.”

“And if he doesn’t buy it,” Ramon added, “then you can just pass out again.”

“Deal.”

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

American Gods by Neil Gaiman as someone who was always a fan of Gaiman, and have been pleased with how the miniseries is doing with it’s adaptation because this has been a love since I got my my hands on it. It doesn’t hurt that Mad Sweeny’s chaotic love of fighting is personified so well by OitNB’s Pornstashe. The only thing I was dissapointed in was due to my prior knowledge of Norse Mythology and the whole “You can call me Wednesday” thing was shouting out what appeared to try and be a “reveal” towards the end. Fantastic incorporation of mythology and characterization. Just...love. Ocean at the End of the Lane is also

The Hollows by Kim Harrison - Again, couldn’t start at the start but jumping in mid series and I was in love. First Person, amazing worldbuilding

Enchantment by Orson Scott Card - very well done. Hate the male vocal reader he uses for his audio books (something about his voice grates on my nerves) but I’d suffer through to listen to this. A great twisting of various fairy tale elements into this, clever things that I wouldn’t have considered at the time of reading this. Very well done. Very. 

The Others Series by Anne Bishop - Not as loved as the Black Jewels but it has some characters I’m invested in now so I’m reading any and all of the series.

Georgina Kincaid series by Richelle Mead - Main character is a succubus by contract, having to corrupt souls to fulfill her contract with Hell and none too pleased about it. I was agonizing waiting for these to be released.

Succubus Blues (Book 1)

Statistics show that most mortals sell their souls for five reasons: sex, money, power, revenge, and love. In that order. 

I suppose I should have been reassured, then, that I was out here assisting with numero uno, but the whole situation just made me feel.. . well, sleazy. And coming from me, that was something. 

Maybe I just can't empathize anymore, I mused. It's been too long. When I was a virgin, people still believed swans could impregnate girls. 

Nearby, Hugh waited patiently for me to overcome my reticence. He stuffed his hands into well-pressed khakis, leaning his large frame against his Lexus. "I don't see what the big deal is. You do this all the time.” 

That wasn't exactly true, but we both knew what he meant. Ignoring him, I instead made a great show of studying my surroundings, not that that improved my mood. The suburbs always dragged me down. Identical houses. Perfect lawns. Far too many SUVs. Somewhere in the night, a dog refused to stop yapping. 

"I don't do this," I said finally. "Even I have standards.” 

Hugh snorted, expressing his opinion of my standards. 

"Okay, if it makes you feel better, don't think of this in terms of damnation. Think of it as a charity case.”

Wicked Saga by Jennifer L. Armentrout - First person, apparently I have a thing for snarky, territorial, hand sized coworkers in UF books.

Wicked

“Tink.” I sighed.

“Whatever. I think you should just get some action from him and kick his ass to the curb.”

My mouth dropped open. “Okay. That is the most bizarre string of advice I have ever heard. You don’t like him, but you think I should have sex with him and then get rid of him? And obviously I can’t because he’s a member of the Order.” That was the one thing I didn’t tell Tink --what Ren truly was. “You make no sense.”

“I make perfect sense. In my world, you don’t even have to like another to have sex with them. It’s all about the natural urges to get it on and...”

As Tink ranted on about the peculiars of his species’ particular mating preferences, I picked up the sugar canister and dumped a small pile of sugar on the counter.

“You just need to let those animalistic--holy brownie balls!” Tink dropped to his knees in front of the pile of sugar. He started moving the tiny granules to another pile, counting softly. “One, two, three, four, five, six...” Pausing, he glanced up with a frown. “Where did you learn that?”

I shrugged as I bit down on my lower lip. “Saw it on an episode of Supernatural.”

and

“Okay.” I placed the stake on the bistro table then reached up, tucking my hair back. “I can explain, Ren, but I need you to let him go.”

“You heard the woman,” Tink said. “Let me go.”

Ren’s gaze flew from the brownie to me. “You want me to let this thing go?”

“He’s my thing--I mean, he’s not a ‘thing.’ He’s a brownie, and he’s okay. He’s not going to hurt anything. I swear.” Walking over to where Ren stood, I ignored the way Tink Glared at us. “Please.”

“He’s a brownie, Ivy. What in the hell is he doing here?” He turned his gaze back to Tink, and the brownie paled since the edge of the knife was still near his throat. “And what do you mean he’s yours? I come into the kitchen and he’s sitting in a bowl of Frosted Flakes like a walking, talking rat.”

“I am not a rat, sir! I am a brownie and damn proud of it, you overgrown--”

“Tink,” I warned, then wrapped my hand around Ren’s wrist. His emerald gaze flicked to mine. My heart was slamming against my ribs. As upset with Tink as I was, if something happened to him...

“His name is Tink?”

I nodded, “Well, that’s what I call him.”

“Am I high? I’ve got to be high.” He glanced back down at Tink and scowled. “Is he wearing doll pants?”

Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips - Another random library snag. Greek gods in a modern setting, full of apathy from a millennia of existence

Antigoddess series by Kendare Blake

Night Huntress by Jeaniene Frost - first person, great world building, fallible characters, lots of character investment over the series, sexy.

Meredith Gentry series by Laurell K. Hamilton - surprised myself by pretty consistently thinking - ‘While I like the varied and inventive sex, I really like the characters so I wish there was less sex and more story” when usually I don’t have complaints about the amount of sex in any given story, I’m cool with PWP works but I was hoping for some magic fix for Andais, like making her mortal and giving her another child then cutting out a good amount of the crazy due to those actions. Didn’t happen. Merry and her harem of men get it on for significant portions of especially the second onwards books, and again I can appreciate lots of magical explicit sexytimes I also wanted more progress on the characters. Also pet peeve of disliking men with long hair was constantly reinforced with a majority of the fae having waist/ankle length hair. The movie that played in my mind gave them haircuts really fast.

Hunter: Thieves series by Lexi Blake

Dissonance series by Erica O’Rourke - always enjoy when there is a new idea/twist and the reality bending in this was quite nice. YA, but I could not put it down.

Sci Fi & Dystopian

The Host by Stephenie Meyer - Was drawn to this one by the cover, it’s a gorgeous eye with a pupil ringed in (according to the story silver, but the cover makes it look icy) brightness. I walked past it a hundred times going “Ohh Pretty!” before finally springing for the audio book from the library - was exceptionally well read. Did not pay attention to the author or read any info about it and enjoyed it very much. Had I realized it was by the lady who wrote Twilight I wouldn’t have read it, I’m glad I didn’t realize and did listen to it. Very well done dichotomy of the main character(s) as two distinct personalities and thought processes. YA verging on New Adult about the aftermath of a relatively peaceful alien invasion. According to the things I’ve heard/memes I’ve seen of Twilight this author has a thing for a team whoever and team whoever2 triangles.

The Last Girl by Joe Hart

Secondborn series by Amy A. Bartol

General Fantasy or More YA

Rebel of the Sands by Alwyn Hamilton - fantasy western

Beastkeeper by Cat Hellisen

A Madness So Discrete by Mindy McGinnis - 

New Adult

VIP series by Kristen Callihan - fun, fast read, first person, Bands

Lonely Kings series by Ava Lore - again, fun, fast reads, first person, bands

[kethtree]

Serrick swept the board clean while Kethri tied on her blindfold, careful not to disturb her fines. She reached for the first piece before the least was slotted into the case. White pawns to b7, d4, f2...

“How’s our receptionist today?

Knight on h8, turned to become a nightrider. “Brown skirt, light blue shirtwaist--the same she wore Monday, though tomorrow’s her laundry day. Standing lightly on her left foot. Heel looks glued on. Nearly cried when I gave her a muffin; mentioned she hadn’t had breakfast. Give Cecily a raise, Serrick.”

He snorted. “That’s not yours to decide, my dear, but I’ll take it under advisement. We can’t have a representative of Undroak fall into shabbiness. Left bookshelf, second down, third volume from the left.”

“Usually Bitner’s Compendium of Hoof Maladies, never opened, but today you swapped it for Tiffany Grundel’s Sensuous Jade Sea Adventures to be cheeky.” Black queens, a1 and b8.

“You don’t know it was cheek! Present your evidence.”

“It’s you.”

Serrick guffawed. “Sass! Where’s my wallet?”

“You think it’s in your left breast pocket, but actually you got your checkbook again.” White king down, and Kethri dug into her reticule. “Delanien sent it with me.”

“What--” He patted at his jacket. “Damn! Kindly give it over.”

Kethri held the wallet up. “You may have it in exchange for the rook that went up your sleeve.”

His lopsided grin went unappreciated. “Deal. I was certain I’d got that by you.”

Exchange made, Kethri placed the piece upside-down. “And wazier completes the board.” She eased off the blindfold. “How’d I do?”

Serrick checked the layout against a list in his notebook. “Perfection, my dear. Your performed beautifully.”

A soft, eager smile crept over Kethri’s face, lit by a faint glow. “Truly? Do you think--”

“Pity about the bishop on Tuesday, of course.” The notebook snapped shut. “Delanien would have been so pleased if you’d made a full week without a slip.”

Kethri wilted. “O-of course. I’ll do better next week, m’lord.”

“You have my full confidence. Monday, then! Enjoy your weekend, my dear.”

She bobbed and scurried off.

[sonicawareness]

Phil Herring’s Favorite Albums of 2019

by Phil Herring, Brooklyn, NY

Happy Holidays all! Below are my favorite records of 2019. There are some big names, some little names, and some names that might be big one day. So, if you’re reading this, I hope you discover something new while also hoping my inclusion of something you like reaffirms your taste. Enjoy!

Here’s a quick precursor to my writeup, a Spotify playlist featuring a track from each of this year’s best albums:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6UK1mqu5cHpWixHKWY5z5S?si=OGx3NGw3QxumKvTWtZ92Mg

40) WEEZER – Weezer (Black Album)

Weezer’s biggest moments of 2019 will forever be that SNL skit with Matt Damon proclaiming he is “ride or die” for their discography and the irritating cover of Toto’s “Africa” but in between those they put out a neat little record that finished their California trilogy. Weezer (The Black Album) delineates from their previous lush power-pop of 2016’s Weezer (The White Album) and 2017’s Pacific Daydream to focus on 2019-style pop. Wisely realizing that trying to mimic the 90’s would give them pats on the back from their old fan-base while not yet breaking new ground, The Black Album is a fun, exuberant listen of Rivers Cuomo unafraid to do exactly what he wants with his songwriting while also continuing to embrace his underappreciated sense of humor. The power-pop crunch of distortion Weezer fans are used to is almost all but absent here as Cuomo drops goofy lingo among bleeping synths and lush strings and piano work. Fans of 90’s Weezer will continue to pout but records like this are what keeps Weezer significantly more interesting than other 90’s relics.

39) BIG DATA – 3.0

Producer Alan Wilkis was able to piece together an excellent debut in 2015 led by the hit single “Dangerous” which made some minor inroads at modern rock radio. In between other projects, he’s taken about 4 years to come back with 3.0 which continues to build on the excellent dystopian pop of the previous relief. 3.0 features less overall guest vocals and, as such, feels like a much more cohesive project as Wilkis is able to showcase his excellent production skills creating a skittish, psych-influenced take on modern pop. Given that this record has received literally zero promotion, I have a feeling this will likely be the last Big Data project which is a loss and Wilkis has a genuine gift for song arrangement and big lavish production values.

38) TOVE LO – Sunshine Kitty

Leading up to the release of her 3rd full length, Sunshine Kitty, Tove Lo promised it would be more upbeat than the previous two-part Lady Wood which, while also great, often sacrificed bright melodies in favor of dark club beats. Sunshine Kitty splits the difference between Lady Wood and her sparkling 2014 debut, Queen Of The Clouds. While pulling back on the overt focus on late nights, Sunshine Kitty is her most self-assured release to date, focusing on slick R&B beats and bringing her shiny hooks to the front, highlighting her extremely personable delivery. While she delves into some dark areas, Sunshine Kitty is always a welcoming listen highlighted by Tove Lo’s large and attention-demanding personality. Increased attention to songwriting makes this another fine collection in her catalog.

37) BLINK-182 – Nine

I’ve always had a bit of a complicated relationship with Blink-182. They were enjoyable in my youth but over time grew slightly irritating not so much due to their music but do their excessive juvenile humor and, at least to me, a bit of over-praise in terms of influence on other bands. As years have passed and with some more mature records under their belt, I’ve begun to appreciate them a bit more. To the masses, they will always be tied to youth culture even as the members inch close to 50 (!) but underneath a lot of their pop-punk sheen have always been darker and more interesting elements. Nine is their second full length with Matt Skiba of Alkaline Trio who replaced the nasal-sounding Tom Delonge in 2015. Whereas their 2016 release California felt like maintaining the brand in order to play amphitheaters, Nine melds together Blink 182’s pop-punk history with bassist/vocalists Mark Hoppus’ love of goth-inspired 80’s pop. With the band gelling better with Skiba after 4 years on the road, Nine is their best full length since 2003’s self-titled.

36) BISHOP BRIGGS – Champion

It’s a story as old as 2012. Famous female solo artist and lead singer of band fall in love, showcase their relationship via various social media platforms and then breakup. Bishop Briggs is clearly very wounded from her split from the lead singer of Sir Sly and has channeled that heartbreak into a passionate gospel-influenced modern pop album. Champion showcases her increasing confidence and skillset as a vocalist while injecting arena-sized bombast into her music. Full of huge choruses, big hooks and heartbreak, Champion is an excellent, concise sophomore effort from the rising star.

35) THE REGRETTES – How Do You Love?

On their second record, The Regrettes maintain their pop-punk sensibility and continue to take cues from 90’s-era riot grrrl inspired rock. How Do You Love is a logical improvement overall, sharpening the hooks from their earlier release while the band displays an improved chemistry which is what two years on the road will do to a young band. Lead singer Lydia Night has shifted her focus slightly from overall emotional maintenance to deal with a new and growing love as the theme of a new relationships plays out throughout the entire record. As always, it’s exciting to see young bands continue to grow and even with guitar-driven music on the backburner these days, also nice to see new bands keeping the flame alive.

34) CITY & COLOUR – A Pill For Loneliness

Dallas Green of City and Colour has now reached the stage of his career where he’s started taking a more reflective stance in his songwriting. Rather than craft another great singer-songwriter record, he’s beefed up his sound adding additional instrumentation and even brief spurts of psychedelic-tinged guitar lines (I swear one of the guitar lines in here ripped off “Up The Beach” by Jane’s Addiction). None of this would work without his confessional lyrics and deeply rich voice creating music that is usually somber and morose without being TOO much of a downer. Nearly two decades into his career and his solo project remains strong.

33) JADE BIRD – Jade Bird

For some inexplicable reason, Brits have always had a strange obsession with Americana-styled music. There’s a reason why acts like Kings Of Leon and other “rootsy”-type acts broke first in the UK and, at this point, the U.K. is now creating their own singer-songwriters in the style of pseudo country acts. Jade Bird’s crackling debut is a collection of whip-smart country-tinged rock songs displaying a healthy level of sass and vulnerability. While many of the songs deal with the usual tropes of relationships gone wrong and untrustworthy men, Bird is able to sell the songs more than her peers with a canny sense of playfulness while never giving the impression she’s lost control. It’s a great start from a promising new talent.

32) BECK – Hyperspace

Like his fellow 90’s alt-rock survivors Weezer, Beck has been able to stay consistently relevant over his nearly 3-decade career. Perhaps due to the fact that there isn’t one signature Beck sound his fanbase is attached to, he’s able to experiment with his sound without losing his fanbase which also means he gets to avoid doing the “back to basics” records that many of his peers eventually end up succumbing to. Hyperspace is a small step back from 2017’s Colors in that it’s not quite as peppy while still maintaining a focus of shifty beats and tight instrumentation. Even with bouncy rhythms, there are more signs of darkness, potentially due to his recent divorce, which allows for a more human side of Beck to come through.

31) SAM FENDER – Hypersonic Missiles

While America has largely moved on from guitar-based music, at least in terms of cultural ubiquity, the U.K. remains a firm believer and continues to crank out a steady stream of polite chaps armed with a guitar and a dream. Sam Fender rose to prominence via BBC Sound of 2018 short list and quickly drew comparisons to both Bruce Springsteen and Jeff Buckley. Hypersonic Missiles affirms those claims yet also affirms what an accomplished songwriter Fender is in his own right, tackling big themes such as the working-class struggle, small town loneliness, suicide and white privilege. Fender’s soothing croon brings an element of Americana to an otherwise exceptional singer-songwriter record.

30) THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS – In The Morse Code Of Break Lights

Similar to fellow indie rock veterans such as Spoon, The New Pornographers have been so consistent throughout their career it’s hard to really build a narrative around each release. Being that they’re an aging band of white people crafting polite and canny indie pop, they also don’t get the benefit of the press fawning over their every move, so they simply continue doing what they’re doing for those who still care. In The Morse Code Of Break Lights differs slightly from their previous records in that all the songs save for one were written by one of their lead singers A.C. Newman, so the collaborative spirit is slightly missed here but it’s hard to complain when they offer another record of 11 power-pop gems.

29) ALICE MERTON – Mint

Hailing from Germany, Canada and a short stint in Connecticut, Alice Merton made a splash with “No Roots”, a hook-filled synth rocker driven by a rubbery bass line. Mint builds off the pleasures of that single and delivers a whole record of modern pop run through both an 80’s retro filter as well as with tinges of Americana. Merton herself sounds like a tried true road warrior even at her young age given her penchant for relocation over the course of her life. Mint is an excellent snap in time of a young woman figuring out adulthood while tackling larger personal themes. There are a ton of pleasant-sounding young pop acts rising but Alice Merton’s portrayal of actual life experience coupled with her winning personality make her stand out from the pack.

28) WHITE REAPER – You Deserve Love

When White Reaper signed to Elektra Records for their 3rd release, the band made a big point to say that any failure would be due to them, not due to any changes the record label potentially forced on them. Even with a new logo on the side, You Deserve Love sounds just like another great White Reaper record blending 50’s rock and roll swagger with some R&B keyboards and infectious melodies topped with punk energy. It’s great to see a young band hitting their stride and even though new acts aren’t really encouraged to be guitar-based anymore, I’m always happy to find more bands like White Reaper each year.

27) JENNY LEWIS – On The Line

For some reason, Jenny Lewis has mostly evaded me up until this year. It was never that I had anything against her, in fact I enjoyed her vocals spots with The Postal Service, but I just never fully dug into her catalog. On The Line is an excellent introduction and, even after going through her entire release history, stands as a career best. Using an A-list team of collaborators, On The Line plays like a great Laurel Canyon songwriter record of the 70’s, where Lewis uses her music to make sense of her reason breakup and other difficult life situations. Her vocal delivery so on point that her songs play almost like having a chat with a longtime friend which makes this lovely record even more charming.

26) BAD RELIGION – Age Of Unreason

Approaching their 40th (!) anniversary as a band, Bad Religion simply refuse to phone in a record. Sonically, not much has changed as they still favor razor sharp lyrics, three-part harmonies and undeniably catchy hooks. Age Of Unreason lightens up a bit on the speed and presents a more somber, reflective mood which is in stark contrast to 2013’s True North. While they have often been placed into the “political punk” category, their approach is often more around questioning the science, thought-process while trying to find a way to survive in the current troubled political landscape than that of outright anger. Age Of Unreason, as most punk records nowadays are, definitely touches on life in the Trump era while not outright naming him. There are references to “fake news”, the “alt-right” and “alternative facts” but as them embers of Bad Religion get closer to 60, their attitude has turned to survival which suits them much better than constant rage.

25) HOT CHIP – A Bathful Of Ecstasy The lines between indie pop, electro pop, and straight up pop are pretty much nonexistent in 2019. London’s Hot Chip has been kicking around pumping out electro-pop jams since 2000 and when they were tapped to collaborate with Katy Perry in 2017, no one batted idea. While they came up in the indie rock circles, Hot Chip has always been about slick electronic beats, organic instrumentation and sticky melodies. A Bathful of Ecstasy comes after a fairly long break but demonstrates how the band hasn’t lost any of their craft, pumping out on electronic-tinged indie pop gem after another with enough dynamics to keep the listener interested. Overall warmer than 2015’s Why Make Sense? this record is also all around more colorful and brighter even if the general lyrical themes of sadness permeate the record. While they may no longer be the focus of any sort of scene, Hot Chip continues on with another excellent record.

24) MUNA – Saves The World

Building on their dark pop 2017 debut, Muna brings in more emotional depth and big-issue topics such as addiction, love, and trying to make it in the world as a woman with fluid sexuality. The LA trio knows its way around a hook but also peppers their delicious synth-pop with a bit more conviction than the rest of the acts playing in the genre to give them something a little extra. Saves The World is everything one would want from a sophomore release in that the sound is richer, larger and more textured while also displaying growth in songwriting.

23) TEGAN AND SARA – Hey, I’m Just Like You

Upon hearing that Tegan and Sara were revisiting unreleased demo recordings from their teenage years, I was a bit skeptical. Songs written by teenagers, while often heartfelt, can lead to some cringe-worthy moments most would likely not want to be re-communicating in their late 30’s. Any doubts were dropped once I listened as Tegan and Sara maintain their impeccable songcraft on Hey, I’m Just Like You. After two excellent records of 80’s-inspired, synthpop, this release dials back a bit on the shiny synths in order to make room for jagged guitar lines propped up by new wave beats. This isn’t a full-on retreat to their folk-rock past and, instead, is another slight reinvention by the duo adding to their excellent catalog.

22) BASTILLE – Doom Days

Bastille, at least to me, has always been The 1975 without the pretension and flamboyant tendencies. This often gets them placed firmly in the “basic” category but their emphasis on crafting theme-driven records focusing on coping with the end of the world has always been admirable. Doom Days is a bit of a pallet cleanser after 2016’s “Wild World” allowing the band to take a more organic approach on their end-of-the-world style pop. Bastille are clearly avid chart watchers as they’ve been steadily incorporating EDM and R&B beats into their big stadium pop for a while, but Doom Days really allows them to shine in that area, particularly on album highlight “A Million Pieces”. Dan Smith’s earnest vocal delivery is still the highlight has he’s able to sell each of these great songs with a great combination of humility and imagination.

21) THE RACONTEURS – Help Us Stranger

For as talented as Jack White is, he can sometimes succumb to his worst impulses when left unsupervised as evident by his run of solo records this decade. Hooking back up with fellow prominent singer-songwriter Brendan Benson allows for his vision to be brought back down to earth as he and Benson trade off in garage-rocks rave-ups that are able to highlight their rock and roll swagger without sacrificing on hooks. Help Me Stranger is the first release by this supergroup in 11 years and its welcome return to more visceral and focused songs coming from White. Benson more than pulls his weight as well offering a nice everyman counter-balance to Jack White’s star power making Help Us Stranger a strong rock outing in 2019.

20) CAGE THE ELEPHANT – Social Cues

While they don’t get much in the way of big media coverage, Cage The Elephant have quietly become one of the biggest rock bands in the last 10 years. They’ve notched several #1 rock/alternative radio hits since 2008 and are able to play B-level arenas and/or play before the main headliner at your local festival. With every big rock band, there usually is a time period where they make their “Exhausted” record and Social Cues shows the wear and tear on the band. Frontman Matt Schulz who is often known for his wild stage antics is at his most somber here due to his recent divorce while his bands take the emphasis off their whiskey-soaked garage rock approach and color their sound with shades of gray. Even without listening to a single note, the track list itself will give you all the evidence needed for the theme of the record (“Broken Boy”, “Ready To Let Go”, “Goodbye’, etc.) It may not be their most immediate but Social Cues demonstrates a rock band going through a time of turmoil, pondering the meaning of it all and coming out with an elegant piece of work to show for their tough times.

19) X AMBASSADORS – Orion

After touring steadily supporting 2015’s VHS, the X Ambassadors began releasing a string of new singles in 2017 that were, supposedly, coming from their new record to be released in 2018. That never ended up happening as the band apparently found new inspiration and went into an entirely new direction. Orion is the result of a young band turning into a veteran band. Loosely billed as “Alternative Rock”, X Ambassadors pick up on the Imagine Dragons/Fall Out Boy 2.0 sounds and add in bluesy and jazzy elements, highlighted by lead vocalist Sam Harris. Along with a few other records on this list, one could easily classify this as a “basic dude” record but there’s a reason basic is shorthand for common, it works.

18) HOZIER – Wasteland, Baby!

Hozier took his time crafting the follow-up to his international 2014 self-titled debut and megahit “Take Me To Church”. Whereas some acts would go to great lengths to re-create the magic to give themselves another hit, Hozier never seemed that interested in mainstream success preferring that the world come to him vs. the him chasing success. Wasteland, Baby! amps up his gospel-like approach on his debut, focusing more on lush arrangements, somber instrumentation while also showcasing his new comfort with creating music for large rooms. There isn’t a TON of difference really from his majestic 2014 debut but that doesn’t matter when he has such a knack for crafting delicate, personal songs highlighting his incredible voice. He may not have another global hit in him, but Hozier is content to continue being the artist he wants to be.

17) BILLIE EILISH – When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

Poised to breakout since her dramatic “Ocean Eyes” was first posted on Soundcloud, no one quite owned 2019 like Billie Eilish did. When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go is her first proper full-length, but she had been slowly building up to it for nearly 2 years with a variety of singles and one EP. On her debut, her sound is now fully formed creating her own branded version of 2019 pop, complete with trap beats, whisper-style vocals and eerie instrumentation that works as a full statement as well as part of various streaming playlists. Throughout the record, Eilish never comes across as unlikeable, pretentious or reaching beyond her grasp which is due to her writing and recording all her own material with her equally talented brother Finneas and not succumbing to the usual trope of outside songwriters. Whether or not she can keep this momentum in the next decade remains to be seen but, for now, the world is for her to take.

16) FRIENDLY FIRES – Inflorescent In a recent interview, Friendly Fires front man noted that his band needed to record in a place with miserable weather in order for the band to create music that provides an element of escape. In the eight years between the last Friendly Fires record, Inflorescent accomplishes that element of escape and incorporates everything to be loved about their first two records. Sunny snyths continue to share space with island-type beats and warm infections melodies. If this record was a struggle to make, it doesn’t sound like it as the band rolls out one infection electro-pop gem after another. Indie pop has long since morphed into actual regular pop at this point, but Friendly Fires offer a nice alternative to the mono-pop genre of today.

15) BEAR HANDS – Fake Tunes

Hailing from Brooklyn, Bear Hands never quite fit into the indie-art-rock scene nor did they fit into the garage revivalists and post-punk bands formed across the river in Manhattan. Instead, they formed their own sound of lo-fi indie rock which dabbles in elements of hip hop, r&b and glitchy electronics. The star of the show continues to be Dylan Rau whose monotone-like delivery still packs an emotional punch as the band leaves behind the youth-oriented topics of previous releases and tackles on bigger-picture adult life issues. They likely won’t ever be as big as bands such as Twenty One Pilots, who they recently opened for, but Bear Hands has continued to carve out their own small niche in the indie rock world.

14) MAGGIE ROGERS – Heard It In A Past Life

Three years after she first came to fame via a viral video of her song “Alaska” impression Pharrel in an NYU songwriting class, Maggie Rogers finally unleashed her full-length debut. It’s actually a bit unfair to call this her proper debut as she self-released a folk album in 2014 but, for all purposes, Heard It In A Past Life is meant as a proper introduction to the world for Maggie Rogers. Building off of her SoundCloud-style pop and inclusive of some of her previously released gems (including the aforementioned “Alaska”), Heard It In Past Life is an A-list sounding debut carefully balancing electronic elements with the foundation of Rogers’ folk-inspired pop from earlier. It sounds remarkably self-assured for such a young artist and, most importantly, provides one excellent liquid pop gem after another held together by Rogers’s self-assured charm and vocal delivery.

13) BON IVER – i,i

Unlike many of his peers who came about in the late 00’s writing hushed, sparse, folksy acoustic music, Bon Iver has always been more interested in expanding his palette than playing to expectations. This year’s i,i streamlines his 2016 sonic freak out of a record (22, A Million) into more listenable songs while still maintaining a spirit of adventure. Clearly influenced by the variety of R&B, hip-hop and pop artists he’s collaborated with as well as his side projects, i,i is one of those rare records that are made for intense headphone listening and also made well for arenas which is fitting since he launched his first arena tour in 2019. Bon Iver spent the entire 2010’s undoing himself from his previous identity and with i,i he has succeeded in the best way.

12) JIMMY EAT WORLD – Surviving

Many people probably remember Jimmy Eat World for their peppy 2002 hit “The Middle” which entered the cultural zeitgeist again in the past few years due to Taylor Swift’s praise. Outside of this song, most people probably forgot they existed and haven’t realized the band has been consistently cranking out dense, multi-layered rock records for over 2 decades now. Surviving won’t necessarily bring the band back into the mainstream light but it’s another excellent entry in the band’s catalog stripping their sound down to its bare essentials and focusing on their aggressive power-pop nature. While the band has always been categorized as “emo” due to their unabashed earnestness and tendency towards high school dramatics, Surviving is the first record that really feels personal for front man Jim Adkins as he tries to keep things together entering middle age. In direct contrast to their last few records, Surviving features very little in the way of ballads and instead prioritizes crunchy guitars and delicious melodies. While they may not get a ton of press coverage, Surviving is more evidence that Jimmy Eat World has quietly put together one of the best discographies in modern rock.

11) CHARLY BLISS – Young Enough

Whenever a young rock band makes a point of “embracing pop”, that’s usually code for placing a higher emphasis on melody and hooks. Aspiring fuzzy rock grunge call-backs Charly Bliss showed a ton of promise on their 2017 debut but with this year’s Young Enough they were fully able to deliver on that promise, bashing out 11 hook-filled bubble-grunge tracks led by charming vocalist Eva Hendricks. In the press leading up to the record, the band spoke of a tighter focus on songwriting and chronicling the lives of 20-somethings which brings an additional emotional sheen outside of the glossy guitar-driven hooks, allowing them to stand out from other similar acts churning out this kind of music. Fuzzy-guitar 90’s style rock will probably never capture the cultural zeitgeist again but I’m always happy there are still bands out there like Charly Bliss.

10) FOALS – Everything Not Saved Will Be Deleted Pts 1 & 2

Technically, these are two separate records since they were released about 8 months apart but since I enjoy listening to them together and since they flow so well together, I’m counting them as one. Foals have not yet been able to achieve the same level of fame her in the U.S. as they do in their native England where they pack arenas, but they’ve been a consistent band since day 1. Everything Not Saved Will Be Deleted Pts 1 & 2 is meant to be their magnum opus, highlighting everything they do well along with stretching out their sound a bit to allow for more majestic and sweeping moments. There are still plenty of catch-and-release bangers to be had throughout but those are complimented by more melodic and reflective moments which make for a cohesive hour and 20 min listen that never overstays its welcome.

09) JAMES BLAKE – Assume Form

While he remains an “alternative” artist bubbling under the mainstream, James Blake has several high-profile collaborations under his belt, including with Beyonce in 2016. Assume Form dials back some of the sprawling templates from his previous release and presents the listener with a slightly more upbeat sound given assistance with some modern hip-hop and R&B flourishes. While Blake himself is an excellent vocalist, it’s his willingness to collaborate on Assume Form that makes it his best release yet, highlighted by appearances from Moses Sumney, Rosalia and even Andre 3000 who add some extra character to these dark electronic-laced indie pop jams.

08) COLDPLAY – Everyday Life

Somewhere around 2005 Coldplay became an easy punch line for boring people to make fun of. This was mainly due to being fun of in the 40-Year Old Virgin and a bad New York Times review which communicated the broad idea that Coldplay made wussy, non-fussy soft rock for simpletons. While an argument could have been made to support that with their first three (still great records), the band has been going the distance on every release since making the effort to expand their sound and not fall into the traps of simply being Coldplay. Everyday Life is their most sonically adventurous yet incorporating a wide selection of different sounds while not sacrificing their gift for melody. Even though it’s officially a double album, the whole thing is over than less than an hour which means it’s even shorter than some of their proper single albums and it flies by a lot quicker given all the sonic experimentation. Everyday Life may not include any surefire anthems or hit singles but it’s a daring move by one of the world’s biggest bands.

07) KING PRINCESS – Cheap Queen

The woman who goes by the name King Princess is actually named Mikaela Mullaney Strauss whose parents have strong ties to the music industry. Reading that alone will potentially cause an eyeroll for many of you and, yes, that’s likely what got her foot in the door to build a buzz as she steadily released singles and an EP over the past few years. Delivering her full length in 2019, Cheap Queen shows she has pop chops as she elegantly bounces from dreamy R&B, big pop and even electronic trip-hop type elements that harken back to the late 90’s. Cheap Queen functions as, in her own words, a “lesbian breakup album” and takes the listener through the initial phases of heartbreak, frustration and, in the end, acceptance. It’s the sound of a young confident artist not being afraid to put multiple influences in a blender and come up with a sound that’s her own.

06) THE BLACK KEYS – “Let’s Rock”

Like most people, I scoffed at the title of this record and rolled my eyes until I realized it was named after the last words of a man before he was executed. That aside, “Let’s Rock” is a fun, slick, groove-focused tight 180 from the Black Keys’ 2014 release, Turn Blue. Whereas Turn Blue was an open, spacey and meant for headphones, “Let’s Rock” gets the ‘Keys back to doing what they do best: writing slick, focused rock and roll with minimal fuss. While not entirely a “back to basics” record, “Let’s Rock” is an aggregate of 2010’s R&B-styled Brothers and 2011’s riff-roaring El Camino. Stacked with hooks and relentlessly tight, this record is another excellent addition to the Black Keys catalog.

05) LANA DEL REY – Norman Fucking Rockwell

Most acts don’t survive the amount of critical hype and then subsequent backlash that Lana Del Rey has. After early praise was poured on her for beautiful lush early singles like “Video Games”, she delivered a patchy debut, Born To Die in 2012 which made everyone believe she was yet another product of record company creation and overhyped delivery. Since then, she’s put out one stunning release after another which has even allowed for Born To Die to retrospectively become acclaimed. Norman Fucking Rockwell is a career best cementing her as a millennial American songstress creating her magnum opus full of dark moody ballads with elements of trip-hop, dream pop and gorgeous arrangements. It also continues her run as one of the most unlikely pop stars to emerge this decade.

04) SIGRID – Sucker Punch

While ever female pop star is out trying to define to their brand, shock and provoke, Alice Merton is fine simply being “basic”, which has become a negative term for anyone not aggressively attempting to differentiate themselves from the “normies” of the world. Sigrid’s full-length debut builds off of her previously successful EP’s and expands her sound slightly to show off a larger vocal range and sense of sonic exploration. All the usual big themes are here but most consistent is that of young love, namely what “love” means to someone in their early 20’s and how they navigate the field. Sigrid makes no bones about being a normal girl as she incorporates sounds from the 80’s, 90’s as well as today’s top 40 into an excellent dynamic collection of songs.

03) THE NATIONAL – I Am Easy To Find

When you’re a band for nearly 20 years and you’re going into make your 8th record, it’s good to shake things up. I Am Easy To Find is The National’s most collaborative effort yet tapping into various female singers potentially as an effort to adjust the dude-centric focus that The National’s sad sack brooding indie rock is often saddled with (enjoyable as it usually is!). I Am Easy To Find is a potential career-best for the band, boasting gorgeous, lush arrangements with the guest vocalists complimenting singer Matt Berninger’s whiskey-soaked baritone. It’s not common for a band to sound so exciting 8 records in but The National have continued their winning streak in 2019.

02) VAMPIRE WEEKEND – Father Of The Bride

After the tour supporting 2013’s Modern Vampires Of The City wrapped in late 2014 them members of Vampire Weekend took a long break, started families and lost a crucial member with multi-instrumentalist and producer Rostam Batmanglij leaving the band. Many other bands would have likely crumbled or turned in a quick sub-par record but bandleader Ezra Koenig rallied his band with a group of A-list collaborators into a lovely, concise and crisp double record that never feels overwhelming or bloated. Continuing to build off of their initial afro-pop foundation, Vampire Weekend created their magnum opus full of excellent guest stars, intricate melodies and gorgeous songs. While the first three Vampire Weekend records were a trilogy about growing up and living through your 20’s, Father Of The Bride is a full-on adult record with Ezra Koenig grappling with the realities of being a father, husband and moving into middle age. It may not all be rosy material, but Vampire Weekend make it sound so effortless and continue to make the case for why they are indie rock A-listers. Bonus points also awarded for the excellent support cast of Danille Haim, Steve Lacy and even Sting (!!) showing up on the bonus track version.

01) TOOL – Fear Inoculum

It’s been 13 years since Tool’s 10,000 Days and the title of THAT record would actually make more sense when discussing the rumination of Fear Inoculum. Various delays, side projects, legal hold-ups and general life have taken precedent over Tool since they wound down promotion for 10,000 Days though they never fully stepped out of the limelight since they toured fairly consistently in the past decade. With all that in mind, Fear Inoculum has on business being this good and, by all means, I should be more self-conscious about making such a stereotypical mid-30’s white guy choice for my #1 record but, damnit, this record rules. Sure, there isn’t anything entirely new here but even at 80 minutes this record never outstays its welcome. All the usual elements of Tool are here: machine-gun riffing, tricky time signatures, drawn out eerie passages building up into crunching guitar and bass battles, Maynard James Keenan delivering his delicate tenor throughout it all and long LONG songs that continue to grow on you with every listen. This is one of those rare records that both satisfies the loyal fanbase but also rewards newcomers. Tool have always been challenging but they’ve never actually been difficult to listen to which is really why they’ve continued to stay relevant long after most bands of their era. It’s hard to imagine them putting out another record if 10 years will be the time frame so Fear Inoculum marks a (potential) welcome final bow for them and my favorite release of 2019.

[tessxomarie]

Saving You - Part Six

*Leah starts to write out her feelings. Leah & EZ have a friendly encounter.*

Writing has helped me organize my thoughts this last week.

I have not written about Erik…I told myself it may be good for me to write about the situation, but I also do not want to relive those moments.

My mind has been flooded with the thoughts and questions as to why Angel has been giving me a cold shoulder.

The moment we had when he was stabbed and shot, when he reached for me, that’s all it was – one simple moment. I get the impression he forgot, or he’s playing it off like he forgot.

I checked on him and Coco three days after the incident, the boys stayed at the clubhouse overnight and Shelby checked in on them for a few days and asked if Kendra and I could follow up.

Angel was his usual stubborn asshole self. Few words were spoken, eye contact avoided. No thank yous. Like I said, the moment we share the other night was just that, a moment. Now over a week later, I cannot help but still think back to that moment.

I’m snapped back to reality when Kendra calls me, “Leeeeeee.” She exaggerates.

“Kenzzzzzz.” I mimic.

“How do I have five more hours left?” She whines. Poor girl picked up an extra 12-hour shift today and she’s hating every moment.

“You have rent due at the end of week, that’s why you hate it so much.”

“Being a grown up fucking sucks. Who do I call to cancel this subscription? I’m over it, it’s too expensive.”

I bust out laughing, “If you figure that one out, have them cancel mine too.”

We go back and forth for a few more minutes while she’s on break.

“You’re serious about making dinner tonight? Like I can just come crash on your big comfy couch and you can bring me food?” She asks.

“I’ll even go visit Felipe to make sure I cook you a good meal.” I offer.

“You know, if EZ and I never get serious, this whole idea of us becoming a domestic lesbian couple becomes more appealing by the day.”

“Hoes before Bros.” I reply.

“Preach, sista. Okay I gotta go, I’ll text you when I leave here. See you later – love you-bye.” Kendra says as she hangs up the phone.

I finally get myself off the couch and I make my way to Felipe’s shop.

“Hola Felipe!” I say as I enter the shop.

“Aleeah, como estas chica?”

“Bien, y soy cansada.” I reply with a laugh, more than likely butchering every single Spanish word.

“My my, your Spanish is improving by the day, sweetheart.” Felipe says to me with a smile as I approach the counter.

“Thank you, I really am trying – you know, in between working in the ER, the clinic and babysitting the bikers.”

Felipe chuckles, “Yeah, I’ve heard my boys have been keeping you busy lately.”

Rather than diving in to details with Felipe, I opt to just stay mum about it. “You’ve heard right, I’m afraid.”

“I’m just thankful that it’s you that is caring for them. I’ve seen how you are with the kids at the clinic, and even people around here – you’re a natural healer Leah.”

That comment makes my heart melt. I’ve been coming into Felipe’s store only the last three months, but he has made me feel like I belong here, that I’m doing something right.

“How’s the pediatric clinic? You’re still over there, right?” He asks, snapping me out of my daze.

“The clinic is great, I primarily work there now, and I’m contingent at the hospital. Kendra and I are on the same schedule yet more times than not, when I’m at the clinic, she’s at the hospital so when we have the chance to work together, we jump on it.” I say with a laugh.

“Kendra, she’s a character. I’m glad you two are friends, and I’m even more glad to know you two are still working in town. This town is better and dare I say, a little bit healthier thanks to you two. That clinic has worked wonders.” Felipe praises some more.

“Working at a clinic like this, it was something I could only imagine. If you would have told me four years ago that I’d be in the field I am now, with a Bachelor’s Degree – I would ask to take a hit of whatever awesome green y’all are smoking.” I say with a laugh.

It’s so true though, after the news of Jax’s passing and having Marcus basically come into my life and act as my forever guardian – I never knew which path I would end up on, or if the thoughts of me going to school and working in the medical field were far fetched.

“Never stop dreaming, Leah; and never sell yourself short – you my dear are way too smart to do that.”

I offer Felipe a warm smile, as I truly am taken aback by his words.

As Felipe is wrapping up my order, I reach into my purse for my cash and just as I pull some out, Felipe starts shaking his head at me.

“Your money still isn’t good here, chica.” He explains as he hands me my order.

I laugh sarcastically with a mix of shock, “Felipe! Come on, here please take this. I have the money, you have to let me pay eventually.” I plead.

As I try to make this deal with Felipe, the front door chimes and in walks EZ.

“EZ, can you believe Aleeah still thinks her money is good here?” Felipe says with a chuckle and grin.

EZ cannot help but laugh along with his Pop.

“I’m glad you find this comical.” I spit with sass.

“I give you credit for being persistent Lee, but the old man is stuck in his ways. Count your blessings, he could be charging you double.” EZ tells me with a curious look, which causes me to snap back at Felipe and quirk a brow.

“I don’t turn down business, but if I don’t like someone’s attitude, you bet your ass I’m charging them extra.” Felipe explains.

“Well I’m glad you like me, Felipe. Thank you again, you really are the best.” I say as he hands me my order.

“I should be the one thanking you, you’re keeping my boys in one piece.”

I shrug my shoulders and look to EZ as he gives me a weak smile.

“I try.” I respond, and then change topics somewhat as I make conversation with EZ.

“Why are you here? Don’t you have like, a run to be on or some other biker shit to do?” I ask poking fun as I playfully punch his arm.

EZ gives Felipe a serious look, which then makes me feel a bit uncomfortable – I get the vibe that EZ doesn’t like telling Felipe club shit.

“Oops, sorry. I should have known better than to ask you about that.” I tell EZ.

Another chime at the door, a middle-aged couple has walked in.

Felipe nods at EZ, and EZ takes me aside.

“Lee, you’re fine. Pops, he knows enough. Anyways, I’m glad I ran into you, I texted you the other day, but you never responded, I just wanted to check in with you.”

“Oh shit, yeah you did text me – I mentally responded.” I laugh, “I think I mentally responded then told Kendra you texted me and then she said that she was going to text you because you didn’t check in on her.” I explain with more laughs.

EZ scratches his head, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with that girl.” He says with a smirk.

“Just treat her right, or I’ll stand by my word and make you breath out of your forehead.”  I remind him with a big smile and bat my eyelashes.

EZ laughs it off, “So, what I really wanted to ask you is if you’ve spoken to Angel lately?”

A look of confusion and humor take over my face, but EZ doesn’t find it humorous.

“Oh, that was a serious question?” I ask, I stutter for a moment but collect myself.

“EZ, I don’t even have Angel’s number. It’s always you, Bishop or Coco that contacts me. Plus, why would I need to talk to Angel?”

EZ shakes his head, “I was just wondering, hoping actually that maybe you two have spoken because he’s just been really off since the incident.”

“No shit, he was shot and stabbed – practically ambushed at his girlfriend’s place. That’s a lot to process. Did you guys ever find out who stabbed him?” I ask.

EZ looks over to Felipe, to make sure he’s still busy with the other customers that walked in.

“No, we have no leads. Angel basically wants us to forget it, but Coco isn’t having that. Angel, he’s been around off and on ever since Shelby gave him the okay – Gilly hasn’t been able to keep tabs on him, we all know he and I aren’t on speaking terms. I just want to know he’s somewhere safe, I don’t trust Luisa.”

Another confused look comes over me, “Who the fuck is Luisa?”

EZ must find my expression hilarious as he gets a good chuckle out of that one.

“That’s Adelita’s real name.”

“Umm excuse me? That bitch has been using an Alias and no one felt the need to clue me in?” I say with a slight raised voice, looking around to make sure I’m not causing a scene in this small shop.

“Relax, Lee. That’s an irrelevant fact.”

“Psh, yeah for you maybe. When you find my body missing or chopped up, I think it’s important for you all to give a correct name to the authorities.” I sarcastically say.

“What are you talking about, Leah?”

“You don’t recall my abrasive monologue from that night? I basically dragged her ass through fire. She deserved it though, there’s always been something off about her to me.” I explain as I take a seat at the small table next to where we are standing.

“Ha, yeah. We all were just talking about that actually. The boys were impressed on how you handled that. Especially given her history of what she’s capable of.” EZ says trailing off.

“That ex rebel bitch does not scare me – her trying to play doctor to a stabbing and shooting victim, now that scares me.” I say with a playful wink.

EZ gives another laugh and takes a sip of water that he grabbed from the cooler behind him.

“She means well, she just, I don’t know – I’ve never fully trust her either. I guess I’m just worried about my brother.” He says quietly.

We have a brief moment of silence, and then I see him flex his muscles – now I am inno wayattracted to EZ like this, but the man has veins us nurses drool over.

“EZ, has anyone ever told you your veins are a nurses wet dream?” I ask while touching one of the veins popping out.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Oh come on, Ezekiel, Kenz hasn’t said that to you? She hasn’t asked if she could practice drawing blood or anything like that?” I continue to ramble as I trace one of his veins.

“Umm you two still need practice?” He asks nervously.

“Always, it’s always good to practice in case you have to drug someone up for long periods of times or when you accidentally give them the wrong dose.” I say wickedly as I stand up from my chair.

“Leah, I mean this in the nicest way – but some days, you straight up terrify me.”

I give EZ a playful sin filled look, “Good.” I respond with a wink.

“I’ll see you in a few days, on the 4th?” I ask as I gather my belongings.

“Yes you will, Kenz will be there too later on but I am sure you already knew that.” He says with a smile.

“You sir are correct. She’s working the afternoon shift, I’m working 7p-7a the night before so once I become a functional member of society that afternoon, I’ll make my way to the clubhouse.”

“I’ll be there all day, I’m on firework duty.”

My face drops, bikers + explosives = Leah never gets a break

“I’ll be safe, Lee.” EZ tries to reassure me by putting both hands on my shoulders and giving them a squeeze.

“Yup, uh-huh, sure.” I say walking towards the door, “I’ll still bring extra supplies just to be safe.” I say tapping his shoulder.

“Adios, Felipe! Thank you very much.” I say as I wave from the doorway.

“Take care Aleeah!” Felipe shouts.

“See you in a few days, Lee.” EZ says with a wave, I remain still at the door with it half open, “Oh yes, it’s going to be a bang.”