#he's afraid of losing Rey

[peavhyshy]

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ - AFRAID

ᯓᡣ𐭩 paring ─ ୨୧ ─ dark!boyfriend!rafe cameron ⋆ reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 summary ─ ୨୧ ─ in which Rafe hatches a plan to ensure you stay by his side, by making you dependent on him.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 warnings ─ ୨୧ ─ explicit language noncon/dubcon, smut, rafe drugs reader, substance abuse, toxic relationship, emotional abuse, baby trapping/forced pregnancy, possessiveness, controlling behaviors, threats of violence, loss of virginity, corruption, breeding kink, dirty talk (like a lot), abandonment issues, manipulation, rough sex, hairpulling, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, powerplay, choking, semi public sex, car sex, creampie (please dni if your sensitive to these topics your mental health should come first)

ᯓᡣ𐭩 wc ─ ୨୧ ─ 8,960

⋆˚✿˖° a/n ─ ୨୧ ─ is there a plot not really, it may seem long but 80% of this is smut. this is unrelated but i think his season 1 & 2 rafe hair were elite to me but I just hate buzz cuts on everyone so my opinion doesn't matter here. The ‘Lila’ is now edited I use it as a placeholder (because for some reason I hate putting y/n while writing) before I replace it with y/n but of course my dumbass forgot to do that when I published this.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔.:･Afraid･:.ೃ࿔.⋆❀°

(༝༚༝༚ lana del rey)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Outer Banks Masterlist ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅�� ── Navigation ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Rafe sits across from you at your usual table in the country club, his jaw clenching rhythmically as he watches you flip through the college applications. His fingers drum against the polished wooden table, creating a nervous pattern that matches his increasing anxiety. The sight of all those prestigious university names makes his stomach turn - Harvard, Yale, Princeton - each one threatening to take you further away from Outer Banks, from him. He barely touches his plate of steak, too preoccupied with the growing unease in his chest.

"Why the fuck are you even looking at schools that far?" He snaps suddenly, his voice carrying a sharp edge as he reaches across to snatch one of your fries, popping it into his mouth with more force than necessary. His blue eyes darken with barely contained irritation, especially when he catches Topper's wave from across the room. He returns it with a curt nod, his attention immediately returning to you. "You know there's perfectly good schools right here in North Carolina. UNC's got a decent program."

You glance up from your binder, your eyes meeting Rafe's intense blue ones. You set down your fork carefully on your half-eaten Caesar salad, a soft sigh escaping your lips. The sunlight streaming through the country club's windows catches on your hair, creating a halo effect around your skin. "Baby, we've talked about this," you say gently, "These schools have amazing programs for what I want to study. And it's not like I'm making any decisions yet - I'm just looking at options."

The afternoon sun streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows catches on his rings as he reaches up to run a hand through his disheveled hair, a telltale sign of his growing agitation. The country club bustles around them with the usual crowd of Kooks - women in tennis whites gossiping over martinis, men in polo shirts discussing their latest yacht purchases. But Rafe's focus remains fixed on those damned college applications, his jaw working overtime as he grinds his teeth.

The cocaine from earlier isn't helping his paranoia, making his thoughts race faster than he can process them. The idea of you leaving, of losing control over this one good thing in his life, sends a fresh wave of anxiety through his system. His free hand unconsciously reaches up to rub at his chest, a nervous tick he's developed. The country club suddenly feels too small, too confined, and he can feel his breathing getting slightly erratic. "Just... just put those away for now," he demands, trying to maintain his composure despite the rising panic in his chest. "We're supposed to be having lunch, not planning your fucking escape route."

You reach across the table with your free hand, your fingers brushing against his chest where he's rubbing anxiously. The familiar scent of his cologne mixed with something sharper - probably remnants of whatever he'd been doing before lunch - fills your nostrils as you lean closer. "Rafe, you're spiraling again," you observe quietly, mindful of the other diners around them. Your eyes flick briefly to Topper and his mother as they pass, offering a polite smile before returning your attention to your increasingly agitated boyfriend. "And you know that's not fair. I'm not trying to escape anything, especially not you."

"Besides," he continues, his tone taking on that manipulative edge he's so good at, "You really want to leave all this behind? The island, the parties, me?" He leans forward, lowering his voice to that dangerous whisper he uses when he's trying to get his way. "You know I can't follow you out there. I've got responsibilities here, the family business..." His hand shoots out to grab your wrist, not painfully, but firmly enough to make his point. "And what about us? You're going to throw away what we have for some fancy degree you could get right here?"

The weight of his intense stare makes you shift in your seat, your sundress rustling against the plush cushions. You can see the telltale signs of his growing panic - the clenched jaw, the rapid breathing, the way his fingers keep twitching against the table. Part of you wants to close the binder, to give in like you usually do when he gets like this. But another part, the part that's been dreaming about life beyond the island since you were little, keeps your hand steady on the applications. "What about a compromise?" you suggest, your voice taking on that soothing tone you learned to use when he's on edge. "What if I apply to both - some schools here in North Carolina and some out of state? That way we have options to discuss later?"

Your free hand moves from his chest to his face, your thumb gently stroking along his clenched jaw. You can feel the tension there, the way he's grinding his teeth. The chatter of the country club fades into background noise as you focus solely on him, knowing how quickly his mood can shift when he feels cornered. "And hey," you add, your voice dropping to a whisper as you lean even closer, your lips quirking into a small smile, "No matter where I end up going, you know you're the only one I want, right? These other Kook boys could never compare to my Rafe Cameron."

The familiar weight of the promise ring he gave you three months ago sits heavy on your finger, catching the light as you move. You learned over your time together that sometimes Rafe needs this - needs to be reminded that he's your choice, that you're his. Even if the possessiveness sometimes scares you, even if his mood swings leave you walking on eggshells, you can't deny the way your heart still races when he looks at you like he is now - like you're something precious he's terrified of losing. "Can we at least look through them together? You might see something you like too."

Rafe lets go of your wrist his hand shooting out to slam your binder shut with enough force to make nearby diners jump. "Don't fucking patronize me," he growls, his voice low and threatening despite their public setting. The gentle stroke of your thumb against his jaw only heightens his agitation, like a match to gasoline. "You think I don't see what this is?" He leans forward, invading your space across the table, his blue eyes wild with a mixture of possessiveness and barely contained rage. "First it's just 'looking at options,' then suddenly you're gone, probably fucking some ivy league asshole who doesn't know you like I do." His breathing becomes more erratic, the hand on his chest pressing harder as anxiety mingles with his growing anger. The familiar scent of your perfume - usually calming - now seems to mock him with its potential absence.

"You're trying to leave me, just like everyone else. Just like my mom, just like Sarah..." His voice cracks slightly on his sister's name before hardening again. "Well, I won't fucking let you."

You tense at the sudden shift in Rafe's demeanor, your heart rate picking up as you watch him slam your binder shut. The warmth drains from your eyes, replaced by a flicker of fear you try desperately to hide. Your skin prickles with goosebumps as he invades your space, his paranoia rolling off him in waves. You’ve seen him like this before, but never quite this intense, never quite this threatening in such a public place.

"Rafe, please," you whisper, your voice trembling slightly as you glance around at the other diners who are now openly staring at them. Your sundress suddenly feels too thin, too exposed under his wild-eyed gaze. You can smell the mixture of his cologne and sweat, and see the way his pupils are dilated - clear signs he's high again. "You're making a scene. Can we please just discuss this somewhere private?" 

A laugh escapes his throat at your suggestion of talking, the sound drawing more concerned glances from nearby tables. "Discuss? There's nothing to fucking discuss." His voice takes on that manipulative tone he knows works so well, mixing threat with vulnerability. "You belong here, with me. Do you think any of those places are gonna love you like I do? Understand you like I do?" His eyes flick to the promise ring on your finger, a visible reminder of his claim on you. "Or maybe that's what you want - to get away from the crazy boyfriend, right? Is that what this is about?"

The cocaine-fueled paranoia reaches a crescendo as he suddenly stands, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. He towers over you, his presence intimidating despite the public setting. "You're not going anywhere," he declares, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper as he leans down close to your ear. "And if you try, I'll make sure every single one of those fancy schools loses your application. Don't test me, baby." His lips brush against your ear as he speaks, a twisted mixture of threat and affection that's purely him. "Now get your shit. We're leaving." His hand moves to grip your upper arm, ready to pull you up from your chair, his entire body vibrating with barely contained violence and possessive need.

The promise ring feels like it's burning on your finger as tears start to well up in your eyes. "I'm not trying to leave you," you plead, your voice barely above a whisper. I'm not trying to leave you, I love you, Rafe. You know I do. But you're hurting me right now." You can feel your body starting to shake, whether from fear or adrenaline, you're not sure anymore.

You let him pull you to your feet, knowing resistance will only make things worse. Your college applications lay forgotten on the table as you stumble slightly, your legs weak from the sudden movement. "Okay," you concede, your voice small and defeated. "Okay, we can go. Just... please calm down. Please." Your free hand comes up to rest on his chest again, feeling his racing heartbeat under your palm. "Let's go to your family's place and talk about this properly. Just you and me, baby. Like we always do."

Rafe feels you trembling beneath his grip, and something in your tear-filled eyes pierces through his cocaine-addled rage. His breathing is still erratic, but the feel of your hand against his racing heart starts to ground him. The familiar scent of your perfume begins to cut through the paranoid haze, reminding him of lazy mornings in his bed, of your soft sighs against his neck. His grip on your arm loosens slightly, though he doesn't let go completely.

"Fuck," he mutters, running his free hand through his disheveled hair as reality starts seeping back in. The stares of the other country club patrons finally register, and he can feel his father's disapproval even in his absence. His jaw clenches and unclenches as he struggles to regain control. "Yeah... yeah, okay. Let's go home." His voice is still rough, but the dangerous edge has dulled somewhat. He reaches past you to grab your binder, shoving it under his arm - he's not leaving it here for you to come back to later.

The walk to his truck is tense, his hand moving from your arm to the small of your back - still possessive, but less aggressive. The cocaine is making him jittery, his thoughts racing between paranoia and guilt. Once you're inside his truck, he slams his palms against the steering wheel, making you jump. "I just..." he starts, his voice cracking slightly. "I can't lose you too, baby. I can't." His blue eyes, when they meet yours, are still wild but now tinged with desperation rather than rage. "Everyone leaves. Everyone always fucking leaves."

He reaches across the center console to pull you closer, burying his face in your neck. His breathing is still uneven, but slower now as he inhales your scent. "Stay," he whispers against your skin, his voice taking on that vulnerable quality that only you get to hear. "Just... stay with me. Please." His hand slides up to cup the back of your neck, his thumb stroking the soft skin there. It's the closest thing to an apology you’re likely to get from him, this moment of raw vulnerability between the storms of his temper.

Rafe paces anxiously across Topper's home gym, his footsteps echoing against the polished hardwood floors as sweat drips down his bare chest from their workout session. The late afternoon sun streams through the floor-to-ceiling windows, casting long shadows across the expensive exercise equipment. His muscles are tense not just from lifting weights, but from the constant anxiety gnawing at his insides about your potential departure. The cocaine from earlier is still coursing through his system, making his thoughts race faster than he can process them.

"I'm telling you guys, she's fucking leaving me," he complains, running a hand through his sweat-dampened hair as he continues his relentless pacing. The familiar panic starts rising in his chest again, making him rub at it absently. "All these fucking college applications... Harvard, Yale, Princeton. She's planning her escape and I can't... I can't fucking let that happen." His blue eyes are wild as they dart between Kelce and Topper, sprawled across the leather bench press seats, watching their friend's mounting distress.

Kelce exchanges a knowing look with Topper before speaking up, his voice careful as he watches Rafe's increasingly agitated movements. "Man, you need to chill. Maybe if you weren't so fucking intense about it-" Rafe's sharp laugh cuts him off, the sound bouncing off the mirrored walls. "Intense? You think I'm being intense?" Rafe's voice rises as he spins to face them, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. "My girl's trying to leave the fucking state, and you're telling me to chill?"

"Well," Topper drawls, wiping his face with a monogrammed towel, "you could always do what my cousin did when his girlfriend tried to leave for college." He pauses for dramatic effect, a smirk playing on his lips. "Got her knocked up. Can't exactly go to Yale with a baby on the way, can you?" He's clearly joking, but something in Rafe's expression shifts, his eyes taking on that dangerous gleam that appears when he's formulating a plan.

"That's..." Rafe stops pacing, his mind racing with possibilities. His jaw clenches rhythmically as he processes the idea. "That's fucking perfect." He starts pacing again, but this time with purpose, his movements predatory rather than anxious. "She'd have to stay. She'd be tied to me forever." His voice takes on that obsessive quality that appears when he's fixating on something. "No more fucking college applications, no more threats of leaving. She'd be mine, completely mine."

"Dude," Kelce sits up straighter, realizing Rafe's actually considering it. "I don't think that's what Topper meant-" But Rafe's already lost in his world, his cocaine-fueled paranoia latching onto this new solution like a lifeline. "She's still a virgin too," he continues, more to himself than his friends, his rings catching the light as he gestures animatedly. "Waiting for the 'right moment' or some shit. Well, guess that moment's coming sooner than she thought."

"No, no, this could work," Rafe continues, his voice taking on that edge that suggests he's spiraling into one of his episodes. "Her parents are traditional as fuck, they'd make her keep it. And Ward's always going on about wanting grandkids to carry on the Cameron name..." He's fully pacing now, his movements jerky and aggressive as the plan solidifies in his mind. "She's been hinting about wanting to do it soon anyway. Valentine's Day is coming up..."

The gym falls silent except for the sound of Rafe's footsteps and heavy breathing. Neither Kelce nor Topper dare speak, knowing from experience that trying to talk Rafe down when he's like this - especially when he's high - is pointless and potentially dangerous. They watch as their friend works himself into a frenzy, plotting the permanent capture of his girlfriend with the same intense focus he applies to everything he wants to possess.

"It's perfect," Rafe finally declares, stopping his pacing to face his friends. His chest heaves with excited breaths, sweat making his skin shine in the fading sunlight. "She'll never leave me then. She'll have to stay here, raise our kid, be the perfect fucking family." 

The thought of you, permanently his, unable to leave him, sends a rush of possessive pleasure through his system. "You guys didn't hear any of this," he suddenly stops, fixing both Kelce and Topper with a threatening stare. "Not a fucking word to anyone, got it?" His voice carries that dangerous edge that reminds them why people are scared of him, why even other Kooks think twice before crossing him.

"Jesus Christ, Rafe," Topper mutters, running a hand through his hair as he watches his friend's descent into this new obsession. "This is fucked up, even for you." But he knows that look in Rafe's eyes. Once Rafe sets his mind to something, especially when he's high, there's no talking him out of it. The gym feels smaller suddenly, charged with the energy of Rafe's newfound determination.

Rafe stands at the door of the l/n estate, his tall frame cutting an imposing figure in his tailored black suit. His blue eyes are slightly dilated from the line of cocaine he did in his truck to calm his nerves, but he's made sure to eye drop and cologne himself thoroughly. The velvet box containing the surprise he has planned for later weighs heavy in his pocket as he shifts anxiously, his rings catching the light as he reaches up to adjust his tie.

When Paul opens the door, Rafe immediately straightens his posture, forcing his most charming smile - the one he uses when he needs to impress. "Good evening, Mr. L/N," he greets, his voice steady despite the cocaine making his heart race. The older man's scrutinizing gaze reminds him uncomfortably of his own father's disapproving stares. The foyer behind Paul gleams with old money - crystal chandeliers, marble floors, and family portraits that speak of generations of Kook legacy.

"Rafe," Paul acknowledges with a slight nod, his eyes narrowing as he takes in the young man's appearance. There's something about Ward Cameron's son that has always set him on edge, though he can't quite put his finger on what. Maybe it's the occasional wild look in his eyes or the way his daughter seems to walk on eggshells around him sometimes. "Y/N is still getting ready. Come in." He steps aside, allowing Rafe into the pristine foyer.

The sound of Rafe's expensive dress shoes echoes against the marble as he enters, his hands sliding into his pockets to hide their slight tremor - partly from the drugs, partly from anticipation of what he has planned for tonight. The house smells of old money and fresh flowers, much like his own family's estate, but somehow more sterile, fitting for a plastic surgeon's home. His fingers brush against the small packet of powder in his pocket, next to the ring box - just enough to keep him steady through dinner.

"I trust you'll have her home at a reasonable hour," Paul's voice cuts through Rafe's thoughts, making him turn to face the older man. "Of course, sir," Rafe responds, that practiced smile still in place even as his jaw clenches slightly. "We just have reservations at Le Rivage, then maybe a walk on the beach." What he doesn't mention is the rest of his plans for the evening - the champagne waiting in his truck, the blankets he's laid out at his secret spot on the beach, the pills dissolved in one of the champagne glasses that will make sure everything goes according to plan.

The sound of heels on marble draws both men's attention to the grand staircase, and Rafe's breath catches in his throat. You descend like something out of a dream, your skin glowing against the deep red of your dress making his hands itch with the need to touch you. His blue eyes darken as they track your movement, his mind already racing ahead to later in the evening, to all the ways he plans to claim you completely.

"You look fucking perfect," he breathes out when you reach the bottom of the stairs, catching himself too late to censor his language in front of your father. But he can't help it - the cocaine making him more impulsive than usual, and the sight of you making his blood run hot. He steps forward to meet you, one hand reaching out to brush against your waist, proprietary and possessive even under your father's watchful gaze. The scent of your perfume mingles with the lingering chemical taste in the back of his throat, making him dizzy with want and anticipation.

Tonight's the night, he thinks, his grip on your waist tightening slightly as Paul insists on taking pictures. Tonight you become his completely, permanently. No more college applications, no more threats of leaving. The thought makes him pull you closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers, "Ready for your Valentine's surprise, baby?" His voice carries that dangerous edge that anyone else would recognize as a warning, but he knows his sweet, innocent Y/N won't catch it. Not until it's too late.

Rafe helps you into his truck, his hand lingering possessively on your lower back as you climb in. The interior smells of expensive leather and his cologne, mixed with something chemical that makes you wrinkle your nose slightly. He slides into the driver's seat, his movements are precise despite the cocaine coursing through his system. The engine purrs to life, and he immediately reaches for your hand, intertwining your fingers as he pulls away from your family's estate.

"You really do look fucking incredible tonight," he murmurs, his blue eyes flickering between you and the road. His thumb traces circles on your palm, a gesture that would seem sweet if not for the slight tremor in his hand. "That dress is driving me crazy." His rings catch the streetlights as you drive through Figure 8, passing other massive estates and perfectly manicured lawns.

"Thank you, baby," You respond softly, your free hand smoothing down the red fabric of your dress. "You clean up pretty nice yourself." You glance at him, admiring how the streetlights cast shadows across his sharp jawline. "So, are you going to tell me where we're going for dinner? You've been so secretive about tonight."

Rafe's grip on your hand tightens almost imperceptibly. "It's a surprise, remember?" His voice carries that edge of control he can never quite hide. "But first..." He reaches behind your seat with his free hand, pulling out a small gift bag. "I got you something to wear at dinner." Inside is a delicate diamond necklace, the stones catching the light like tiny stars.

"Oh, Rafe," You breathe, reaching for the necklace. "It's beautiful. You didn't have to-" You are cut off by his laugh, that sharp sound that always makes your stomach flip. "Of course I did. Only the best for my girl." He pulls into a secluded spot overlooking the water, putting the truck in park. "Here, let me put it on you."

His hands are slightly unsteady as he fastens the necklace around your throat, his breath hot against your neck. "Perfect," he whispers, his fingers trailing down your spine. "Just like you'll be after tonight." There's something in his voice that makes you shiver, though you can't quite place why. "What do you mean?" you ask, turning to face him.

Rafe's eyes are darker now, pupils blown wide as he stares at you. "Just that I've got big plans for us, baby." His hand comes up to cup your face, thumb brushing across your bottom lip. "Tonight's gonna change everything." He leans in closer, his other hand sliding up your thigh, pushing the fabric of your dress higher. "You trust me, right?"

"Of course I do," You whisper, even as something in your gut tells you something's off. You can feel his heart racing where your bodies are pressed together and you can smell something sharp and chemical on his breath beneath the mint. "Rafe, are you okay? You seem...different tonight."

"Never better," he responds, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. "Just excited to give you all your surprises." His hand moves higher up your thigh, possessive and demanding. "Now, how about we have a little drink before dinner? To celebrate Valentine's Day?" He reaches behind the seat again, pulling out an expensive bottle of champagne and two glasses.

Rafe pours the champagne with calculated precision, his hands steadier now as he hands you your specially prepared glass. The moonlight filtering through the truck's windows catches the diamond necklace at your throat, reminding him of how perfectly it marks you as his. His blue eyes track your every movement as you accept the glass, noting how the red fabric of your dress has ridden up slightly from your position.

"To us," he proposes, raising his glass with that dangerous smile playing at his lips. The cocaine makes everything feel more intense - the way your perfume fills the confined space of his truck, the soft sound of your breathing, the sight of your lips touching the rim of the glass. He watches intently as you take a sip, something predatory flickering in his eyes. "And to all the surprises tonight has in store."

"Mmm, this is really good," You comment, taking another sip. You don’t notice how Rafe barely touches his glass, too focused on watching your drink. "But shouldn't we head to dinner? We don't want to lose our reservation." You move to check the time on your phone, but Rafe's hand shoots out to stop you, his fingers wrapping around your wrist with practiced possessiveness.

"We've got time," he assures you, his voice dropping lower as he leans closer. His free hand comes up to trace the line of the necklace, fingers ghosting over your collarbone. "Besides, I want to enjoy this moment. Just you and me." He can feel your pulse racing under his fingers where they press against your wrist. "Finish your drink, baby. Then we can talk about dinner."

He watches as you obediently take another sip, then another. "You know what I love about you, Y/N?" His voice is rough now, heavy with want and something darker. "How fucking perfect you are. How innocent." His fingers trace patterns on your inner thigh, making you shiver. "How you trust me completely."

"Rafe," you breathe, and he notices your words are slightly slurred now. Your eyes are starting to look unfocused as you blink slowly at him. "I feel... strange." The champagne glass slips from your fingers, but he catches it smoothly, setting it aside. His heart is racing with a mixture of cocaine-fueled excitement and dark anticipation.

"Shh, baby," he soothes, pulling you closer as you start to sway slightly. "I've got you. Always got you." His lips brush against your neck, just above the diamond necklace. "And after tonight, you'll always be mine. No more college applications, no more threats of leaving." His voice takes on that possessive edge that would normally frighten you, but the drugs in your system are making everything feel distant and hazy.

"What did you..." you try to ask, your head falling back against the seat as your limbs grow heavy. Rafe's hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb stroking your cheek as he watches the drugs take effect. The moonlight casts shadows across his face, making his expression look almost demonic as he smiles down at you.

"Just making sure tonight goes exactly as planned," he whispers, his other hand already reaching for the blankets he has stashed behind the seats. "Don't fight it, baby. Just let go. Let me take care of everything." His lips crash against yours, swallowing any protest you might have made as the drugs pull you deeper under their influence.

Rafe watches with dark satisfaction as your movements become increasingly sluggish, your normally bright eyes growing heavy-lidded and unfocused. He shifts in his seat, reaching to recline both of your seats back to create more space in the truck's cabin. The moonlight streaming through the windows casts ethereal shadows across your skin as he positions your body how he wants.

"Rafe..." you mumble, your voice thick and confused as he spreads the blankets beneath you. "What's happening? I feel so..." Your word trails off as he captures your lips in another possessive kiss, his hands already working at the zipper of your red dress.

"Just relax, baby," he whispers against your mouth, cocaine making his movements more aggressive than usual. "Let me take care of you." His fingers trace the newly exposed skin of your back, savoring how you shiver under his touch despite your drugged state. "You look so fucking perfect like this. So helpless. So mine."

Rafe's hands slide possessively over your body as he peels the red dress from your drugged form, revealing the black underwear underneath. His blue eyes darken with predatory hunger as he drinks in the sight of you laid out beneath him in his truck, the diamond necklace glinting at your throat like a collar. The softness of your skin, the way your chest rises and falls with each shallow breath, the little whimpers that escape your lips as you try to fight through the fog in your mind.

"Shh, baby," he soothes, his voice rough with desire as his hands roam over your exposed flesh. "Just let it happen. You know you want this." His fingers trace the edge of your lacy bra, teasing your hardened nipples through the delicate fabric. "Been waiting so fucking long for this moment. To make you completely mine."

"Rafe, please," You slurred, weakly trying to push at his chest. "Something's wrong... I can't..." Your protests are cut off by his mouth crashing against yours, his tongue forcing its way past your lips as his hand slides between your thighs. He groans when he feels how wet you are through your panties, his cock straining against his suit pants.

"Look how ready you are for me," he rubs circles against your clit through the lace. "Your body knows what it wants, even if your mind's trying to fight it." He pulls back to admire his handiwork - your lips swollen from his kisses, your pupils blown wide from the drugs, your chest heaving as you struggle to focus. "Gonna fill you up so good, baby. Gonna put my baby in you tonight."

Rafe’s fingers hook into your panties, slowly dragging them down your legs as you weakly try to squeeze your thighs together. The moonlight catches on the wetness between your legs, making him groan. "Fuck, look at that pretty pussy," he breathes, his fingers spreading you open. "All perfect and untouched. Not for long though." 

Rafe's fingers work methodically between your thighs, spreading your wetness as he watches your face contort with unwilling pleasure. His other hand pins your wrists above your head, his rings cold against your feverish skin. The truck's windows are starting to fog up from your heavy breathing, creating a private cocoon around you.

"That's it, baby," he growls, sliding two fingers into you, feeling how tight you are around them. "Gonna stretch you out nice and slow before I fuck a baby into you." His cock throbs painfully in his pants as he watches you arch beneath him, the drugs making you more responsive even as you try to resist.

"No... Rafe... please," You whimper, your head thrashing weakly against the leather seat. But your body betrays you, hips rocking against his skilled fingers as he finds that spot inside you that makes you see stars. The diamond necklace glints at your throat as you gasp, reminding him of his ownership.

"Look at you, taking my fingers so well," he praises darkly, adding a third finger to stretch you further. "Can't wait to feel this tight little cunt around my cock." His thumb finds your clit, rubbing circles that make your whole body tremble. "Gonna fill you up so good, baby. Make sure my cum stays deep inside you until it takes."

The way your walls clench around his fingers, the little sounds you make as he works your body, the perfect arch of your back as you fight between pleasure and resistance. He leans down to capture one of your nipples in his mouth, biting down just hard enough to make you cry out.

"Please," you beg, though whether you're begging him to stop or continue, even you don’t know anymore. Your body is on fire, every nerve ending singing from his touch as the drugs make everything feel more intense. "Rafe... I can't..."

"Yes, you can," he demands, curling his fingers inside you as his thumb speeds up on your clit. "Come on my fingers like a good girl. Show me how much you want my cock." His blue eyes are wild with possession as he watches you fall apart beneath him, knowing that after tonight, you’ll never be able to leave him. 

Rafe’s fingers work relentlessly between your thighs. His free hand moves from your wrists to grip your throat, right above the diamond necklace, applying just enough pressure to make you gasp. "Let me feel that tight little pussy squeeze my fingers."

Your body betrays you even as your mind tries to resist, waves of unwilling pleasure building under his skilled touch. The drugs make everything feel heightened - the stretch of his fingers inside you, the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the heat of his breath against your neck. Your legs start to tremble as you approach your peak.

"That's it, baby," He watches your face contort with pleasure and confusion. His cock strains painfully against his suit pants, demanding attention. But he forces himself to wait, to savor this moment of taking your innocence piece by piece. "Give it to me. Show me how good I make you feel."

The sound of your heavy breathing fills the truck's cabin, mixing with the wet sounds of his fingers working between your legs. Rafe's eyes are dark with possession as he watches you fight against the inevitable, knowing that each moment brings him closer to his ultimate goal. The moonlight catches on the sweat beading on your skin, making you glow ethereally.

"I... I can't..." You whimper, your back arching off the seat as pleasure builds to an unbearable level. The drugs make everything feel like too much and not enough all at once. "Rafe, please..." Your fingers clutch desperately at his shoulders. "You can, and you will," he commands, his voice taking on that dangerous edge that brooks no argument. His fingers curl inside you, finding that spot that makes you see stars while his thumb circles your clit with practiced precision. "Come for me now. Let me feel it."

Rafe watches with dark satisfaction as your body trembles beneath him, your back arching off the leather seat as pleasure builds. His fingers work relentlessly inside your pussy, stretching and preparing you for what's to come. The way your walls clench around his digits, the little gasps and moans you can't hold back, the perfect arch of your spine as you fight between resistance and ecstasy.

"That's my good girl," his free hand moving from your throat to grip your hair, forcing you to look at him. "Watch me while you come. Want to see those pretty eyes when I make you fall apart." His thumb continues its relentless assault on your clit as his fingers curl inside you, hitting that spot that makes your whole body shake.

Your eyes flutter open, glazed with drugs and unwilling pleasure. The moonlight catches the tears gathering in your lashes as you stare up at him, unable to look away from his intense blue gaze. Your lips part in a silent scream as the pressure builds to an unbearable level, your body tightening around his fingers.

"Please," Her hands clutch desperately at his shoulders, leaving crescent marks through his expensive shirt. "Rafe, I can't... it's too much..."

"Yes, you can," he demands, his voice rough with desire and dominance. "Come for me now, baby. Show me how good I make you feel." His fingers speed up inside you, the wet sounds of your arousal filling the truck's cabin. "Let go. Let me see you fall apart before I fuck you properly."

The combination of his skilled fingers, the drugs in your system, and his commanding voice finally pushes you over the edge. Your whole body goes rigid as pleasure crashes through you, walls clenching rhythmically around his fingers as you come with a broken cry of his name. 

"Beautiful," he breathes, working you through the aftershocks as you tremble beneath him. "But we're not done yet, baby. Not even close." His free hand moves to his belt, the sound of the buckle loud in the confined space. "Now it's time for the main event. Time to make you completely mine."

Rafe takes his time unbuckling his belt, the metallic sound echoing in the confined space of his truck. His blue eyes never leave your face as he watches you come down from your high, your body still trembling with aftershocks. Your chest heaves with each breath, the glisten of sweat on your skin, the slight quiver of your thighs as they remain spread for him.

"Look at you," he grunts, finally freeing his throbbing cock from his pants. "All fucked out from just my fingers, and we haven't even gotten to the best part yet." His hand wraps around his length, stroking slowly as he positions himself between your legs. The head of his cock brushes against your sensitive folds, making you whimper. "Been waiting so fucking long for this moment."

"Rafe," You slur, your drugged mind struggling to focus as you feel his size pressing against your entrance. "Wait... I'm not ready..." Your weak protests only serve to fuel his desire, his grip tightening on your hip as he holds you in place. The diamond necklace at your throat catches the moonlight as you try to shift away.

"You're more than ready, baby," he counters, using his free hand to spread your wetness along his length. "Your body's begging for it. Been begging for it all night." He leans down, capturing your lips in a possessive kiss as he starts to push inside your entrance. The stretch is intense, making you gasp against his mouth. "Gonna make you take every fucking inch."

His cock inches forward slowly, savoring the way your walls resist his invasion. The truck's windows are completely fogged now, creating a private world for just the two of you. Rafe's breathing grows heavier as he feels your tight heat enveloping him, his control starting to slip. "Fuck, you're so tight," he groans, his fingers digging into your hip hard enough to leave bruises. "Taking my cock so well, just like I knew you would."

Tears stream down your cheeks as he stretches you open, the mixture of pain and drugged pleasure making your head spin. Your hands clutch at his shoulders, nails digging into the expensive fabric of his suit jacket. "Almost there, baby," he pants against your neck, his hips still pushing forward relentlessly. "Just a little more and you'll have all of me." His free hand slides between them to rub your clit, knowing the added stimulation will help your body accept him. "Gonna fill this tight little pussy up with my cum, make sure it takes. Make sure you can never leave me."

Rafe's hips finally meet yours as he bottoms out inside you, a groan of satisfaction rumbling deep in his chest. Your walls flutter around his length as you adjust to being completely filled for the first time. The truck's cabin is thick with the scent of sex and sweat, the leather seats creaking beneath them with each subtle movement.

"There we go," he pants against your neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin there. His hands grip your hips possessively as he holds himself still, savoring the moment. "Been dreaming about this for so fucking long, baby. About claiming you completely." You whimper beneath him, your mind is hazy from the drugs as your body struggles to accommodate his size. Tears continue to stream down your cheeks, your fingers clutch weakly at his shoulders as you feel him throb inside you.

"Please," you manage to gasp, though your drugged state makes it hard to form coherent thoughts. "It's too much... I can't..." Your protests are cut off by his mouth capturing yours in a demanding kiss, his tongue invading your mouth just as his cock has invaded your body.

"Yes, you can," his hips starting to move in shallow thrusts. "And you will. Gonna fuck a baby into you tonight, make sure you can never leave me." His movements gradually become deeper, and more purposeful, as he establishes a rhythm. "Watch me while I do it. Want to see those pretty eyes when I breed you." One hand slides from your hip to grip your jaw, forcing you to maintain eye contact as he fucks into you. "That's it," he praises darkly as your body starts to respond despite your protests. "Take it like a good girl. Let me feel that pussy squeeze my cock."

Rafe's movements become more intense, his hips snapping against yours with increasing force as he chases his release. The truck rocks with your movements, his hands grip your hips bruisingly tight as he pounds into you, watching with dark satisfaction as pleasure and pain war across your drugged features.

"Fuck, you feel perfect," he groans, one hand sliding up to wrap around your throat just above the diamond necklace. "So fucking tight around my cock. Like you were made for this." His thumb traces your bottom lip as he continues his relentless pace. "Made to take my cum, to carry my baby."

Your head thrashes weakly against the leather seat, your body overwhelmed by the mix of drugs and unwilling pleasure. Your walls clench around him involuntarily as another orgasm builds, making him grunt with satisfaction. "That's it, baby," he praises darkly. "Squeeze my cock just like that. Show me how much your body wants this." His free hand moves between them to rub your clit, determined to make you come around his cock. "Gonna fill you up so good," he pants, his rhythm becoming more erratic as he nears his release. "Gonna pump you full of my cum until it takes. Make sure everyone knows you belong to me." His fingers speed up on your clit as he feels your walls starting to flutter. "Come for me now, baby. Let me feel that tight little pussy milk my cock."

Rafe's grip tightens on your hips as he feels his release building, his thrusts becoming more desperate and erratic. "That's it, baby," feeling your walls clench around him as another orgasm builds in your drugged body. "Come on my cock like a good girl. Show me how much you want my cum." Your back arches off the seat as pleasure crashes through you against your will, your walls squeezing his length rhythmically. The sight of you coming undone beneath him finally pushes Rafe over the edge. With a guttural groan, he buries himself deep inside you, his cock pulsing as he empties himself into your pussy. "Fuck," he pants against your neck, grinding his hips to ensure his cum stays deep inside. "All mine now."

He collapses on top of you for a moment, both of you catching your breath in the steamy confines of his truck. The diamond necklace glints at your throat as he finally pulls out, watching with dark satisfaction as his release drips from your used pussy. "No more college applications, no more threats of leaving. You're stuck with me now, baby." Without a word, he starts fixing his clothes, already planning your next encounter in his mind. 

"Let's get you home, baby," he says, his voice rough as he helps you dress on shaky legs. "Don't want your daddy getting suspicious." His hand rests possessively on your thigh as he starts the truck, knowing that after tonight, everything has changed. The drive back is silent except for your occasional whimpers, the drugs still making your head fuzzy as she processes what just happened.

A week later,  

Rafe lounges against his truck at the Boneyard, The beach is relatively empty at this hour, just a few surfers catching the last waves of the day. His blue eyes track your movement, noting how pale you look, and how your usual confident stride seems shakier. A smirk plays at his lips, though he keeps his expression carefully neutral.

"Hey baby," he calls out, pushing off the truck to meet you. His hands immediately find your waist, pulling you close as he studies your face. "You sounded weird on the phone. Everything okay?" The concern in his voice is perfectly crafted, masking the satisfaction he feels as he takes in your distressed state.

Your hands tremble as you pull away from his embrace, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively. "Rafe, I... I need to tell you something." Your voice cracks slightly as you speak, tears already gathering in your eyes. "I went to the doctor today..."

"What's wrong?" Rafe steps closer, his hand coming up to cup your face with practiced gentleness. Inside, his heart races with anticipation, but his expression remains one of innocent concern. "You've been sick all week. Did they figure out what's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant," you whisper, the words carried away by the ocean breeze. Your eyes search his face desperately for any sign of recognition, any hint that he remembers your Valentine's night. "But I don't... I can't remember... The last thing I clearly remember is having champagne in your truck..."

Rafe's eyes widen in perfectly feigned shock, his hand dropping from your face as he takes a step back. "You're... what?" He runs a hand through his hair, the picture of a young man receiving unexpected news. "But we've never... I mean, I thought you wanted to wait?" His voice carries just the right amount of confusion and disbelief.

"That's just it," Your voice rises slightly, panic evident in your tone. "I don't remember! Valentine's Day is just... fuzzy. But the doctor said I'm about a week along, and you're the only one I've been with..." you trail off, tears now flowing freely down your cheeks.

Rafe pulls you into his arms, hiding his triumphant smile in your hair. "Shh, it's okay," he soothes, one hand moving to rest possessively over your still-flat stomach. "We'll figure this out together. I'm here for you, baby. Always." His voice drops lower, taking on that dangerous edge you're too distraught to notice. "Guess those college applications won't be necessary anymore, huh?"

His hand tightens possessively around your waist as you tremble against him, his other hand still resting on your stomach where his child is growing. The setting sun casts long shadows across the beach, the sound of waves providing a backdrop to your quiet sobs. His blue eyes gleam with dark satisfaction as he feels you collapse further into his embrace, exactly where he wants you.

"What am I going to tell my parents?" You whisper against his chest, your voice breaking. "My dad... he's going to kill me. And all my college plans..." You pull back slightly to look up at him, mascara running down your cheeks. "Rafe, I can't remember anything from that night. How did this happen?"

Rafe's jaw clenches as he maintains his facade of confusion and concern. "Hey, look at me," he demands softly, tilting your chin up with his fingers. "Your parents love you. And my family... well, Ward's always talking about wanting grandkids." His thumb wipes away your tears as he studies your face. "Maybe this is a good thing, you know? You and me, starting our own family."

"But I had plans," you protest weakly, your hands clutching at his shirt. "Harvard, Yale... I was supposed to get out of Outer Banks..." You don’t even notice how his grip tightens painfully at your words or the flash of possessive anger in his eyes.

"Fuck those plans," he growls, before quickly softening his tone. "I mean, things change, right? Sometimes for the better." His hand slides up to cup your face, forcing you to maintain eye contact. "You've got me now. Got us. Isn't that better than some fancy college where you don't know anyone?" He’s super hyper-focused on every detail - the way you unconsciously lean into his touch, how your body fits perfectly against his, the slight swell of your breasts that's already becoming noticeable. His other hand remains possessively on your stomach, imagining how it will grow with his child.

"I'm scared," You admit, your voice small against the sound of crashing waves. "Everything's happening so fast, and I can't remember... that night is just blank, Rafe. Doesn't that bother you?" You search his face for any sign of recognition, any hint of guilt.

But Rafe's expression remains carefully crafted a mixture of concern and determination. "What bothers me is seeing you upset," he lies smoothly, pulling you closer. "We'll figure this out together, okay? You and me and our baby. "No more talk about leaving, though. You belong here, with me. Got it?"

"We should tell our parents soon," he says, his voice carrying that edge of control he can never quite hide. "Get everything out in the open. But first, promise me something, baby. Promise me you'll stop looking at those college applications."

Your eyes widen with fresh tears as you stare up at him. "But Rafe, I can't just give up everything I've worked for..." Your voice trails off as his grip tightens slightly on your chin, his blue eyes darkening with barely contained possession.

"Those dreams were for the old Y/N," he states firmly, his thumb brushing across your bottom lip. "The one who didn't have a family to think about. Things are different now." His other hand presses harder against your stomach, a reminder of what's growing inside of you. "You've got bigger responsibilities. To me. To our baby."

The waves crash against the shore behind them as silence stretches between them. Rafe can feel your pulse racing beneath his fingers where they rest against your throat and can see the moment you start to break under the weight of reality. His plan is working perfectly - soon you’ll be completely his, tied to him forever through your child.

"I... I need time to think," You finally whisper, trying to step back from his embrace. But Rafe's grip remains firm, keeping you close as the last rays of sunlight disappear behind the horizon. His expression shifts into something darker, more possessive.

"No more thinking," One of his hands slid up to tangle in your hair. "No more plans that don't include me. You're mine now, Y/N. The sooner you accept that, the better." His voice carries a threat wrapped in velvet as he stares down at you. "Or should we talk about how convenient it is that you can't remember Valentine's Day?"

Rafe's threat hangs heavy in the air as your face drains of color. His fingers tighten in your hair, cocaine making his movements more aggressive than usual. The darkened beach feels suddenly oppressive as he towers over your trembling form.

"What... what do you mean?" You whisper, your voice is small and frightened as you search his face. The familiar warmth in his blue eyes has been replaced by something cold and calculating that makes your stomach turn.

"You really want to know what happened that night?" he asks, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. His hand slides from your stomach to your hip possessively. "Want me to tell you exactly how I made sure you'd never leave me? How I watched you drink that champagne, knowing what was in it?"

You try to pull away, but his grip is iron-tight as realization dawns on your face. "No," she breathes, shaking her head in denial. "You wouldn't... you couldn't..." But the predatory smile spreading across his face tells you everything you need to know.

"I did," he confirms, pulling you closer until your faces are inches apart. "And now you're carrying my baby. No more college applications. No more dreams of leaving. You're mine forever now, baby." His thumb brushes away a tear from your cheek with mock tenderness. "And if you ever think about telling anyone... well, who's going to believe the girl who can't remember her own Valentine's Day?"

The waves crash behind them as your world crumbles around you. You can feel the weight of the promise ring on your finger - once a symbol of love, now feeling more like a shackle. Rafe watches you process everything with dark satisfaction, knowing he's won completely.

"Why?" you finally manage to ask through your tears, your voice breaking on the single word. The hand in your hair tightens as Rafe's expression turns almost tender, though his eyes remain cold.

"Because you're mine," he states simply as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "And I take care of what's mine. You'll see, baby. This is better than any fancy college could ever be." His hand moves to rest on your stomach again, possessive and threatening all at once. "Our little family, together forever in Outer Banks. Just like it should be."

[catsushizz]

Soon you'll get better - S.R

Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Summary: Spencer's life was perfect until one dreaded visit from the doctor. Your life was measured in only seconds, you have cancer.

Warning: inaccuracies in the medical parts, cursing, no happy ending

WC: 2.8k

Angst

A/N: listen to so many songs for this, mainly Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey and Soon You'll Get Better by Taytay.

____

Spencer basks in the feeling of you in his arms even though he is trying to hold back his tears knowing he only has a few moments left with you here on Earth. Worrying about losing you is different when he knows he is going to lose you.

Your hands were intertwined as he kissed your knuckles, God, Cancer's a bitch. Spencer held you tightly as he heaved a sigh, his eyes were glossed and he felt bile rise in his throat.

He stifled his sobs knowing that you needed your sleep. Whatever thing he had done in the past, it couldn't have been that bad to make him deserve this kind of treatment from God. Was it because he didn't believe him?

He finds himself praying every night, desperate people find faith so now he prays to God hoping and begging to make you live longer. Longer until your hair turns grey.

"Soon you'll get better" he whispered as if it were a prayer "You need to" his voice cracked as his tears continued to flow, you slept peacefully unaware of his dilemma.

You've been together for so long, 5 years dating then later on married for 3 years. His life was perfect for so long but one visit from the doctor destroyed his world.

Spencer said you should get it checked, you thought he was being dramatic but he insisted anyway.

The morning after the news, he wished it was a dream when you sat him down on the bed, worried in his voice when you grabbed his hand and grief he felt when you spoke.

"I- I have cancer," you said, swallowing hard when his grip on your hand loosened.

"What?" He whispered, heart in his throat every second you give him silence "You can't be serious, Angel" he said in disbelief, standing up from the bed to look at you properly, and when he read your behavior his heart dropped.

You shook your head as you held back your tears, you needed to be strong for him. Raking his fingers through his hair, his breathing becoming more shallow as he looked for any indication that this was all just some sick joke, you liked pranking him, it's a horrible prank but he would forgive you.

"I have Osteosarcoma..." Spencer felt his breath hitched at your words. He had a question at the tip of his tongue but he didn't feel like questioning it afraid of the answer.

If it's stage 1 or 2 it might be curable he held on to that hope, clung to it like it was his lifeline. Sensing his question through his eyes, you answered.

"It's stage 3 Spence" you muttered, your voice thick with emotions. He staggered backward, tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

"The doctor must've mistaken your scan for somebody else's o- or there must be an error, yeah that must be it" he stammered, his mind going faster than his mouth knowing that Doctors make mistakes like that but he knows the statistics of doctors making mistakes when giving the results are slim to none.

And when you didn't reply, he cried. His hand flew to his mouth a sob forcing its way out. You immediately stood up and engulfed him in a hug as you cried, you felt his shoulder shake against you, his sobs becoming more broken the longer he hugged you.

You barely see Spencer cry, but when he does cry the sound of his cries goes straight to your heart, this time he sounded so broken and alone and you made sure to make him feel less alone by whispering 'I'll be okay'

Spencer felt stupid for crying, he should be the one comforting you not the opposite but he couldn't help it, the thought of you leaving him destroyed him, he would trade anything else if it meant saving your life.

Spencer felt his world crashing that night, he cried so much he felt like he might pass out.

---

Baking was always your favorite it makes you feel at peace but now you need assistance as you cook which doesn't only make you sad, it makes you more burdensome to Spencer. You smiled at Spencer as he leaned himself on the counter.

He had a frown on his lips as he looked at you "Are you sure you want to stop your chemotherapy?" He asked and you sighed as you washed your hands getting the sticky dough off your hands.

"Come here, darling," you say softly. He pushed himself off the counter and made his way towards you, immediately engulfing you in a hug.

He held you delicately afraid that if he touched you tightly you'll vanish. "If money's the issue- it's not even an issue, love" he muttered as he trailed kisses to your shoulder and your neck.

You chuckled "It's futile, Spence. You of all people should know that, I did chemo for 5 months and it didn't work" you whispered as you nuzzled yourself into his chest. You thought the chemo did you justice only to know that it got worse. Chemo didn't work.

Spencer knew, of course, but he'd like to think that little hope could somehow save your life even if the percentage laughed at his face.

"I know... But it makes you stay here longer" he ran his fingers through your skin, from your hands to your arms. He noticed your skin change every time, it became more pale and his heart couldn't handle it.

Every day he can't stop himself from thinking that it might be your last and it's killing him. He doesn't know what he would do if you were to be gone from his life. The family you created was something he treasured so dearly in his heart and he got used to loving you so much that it became his oxygen at some point.

You smiled sadly "Okay... I'll start again" you finally said. He pulled away from the hug to look at you properly.

"you mean it?" He asked, and you laughed at his shocked expression "Yes, Spence I mean it, cross my heart hope-" he clasped his hand to your mouth making you laugh even more.

"Don't you dare finish that" he said and he had a small smile on his lips. You licked his palm and successfully made him pull away from you.

"Oh, stop acting like it disgusts you, you kiss me plenty of times" you grumbled when you saw his disgusted face.

"That's not what I'm worried about, I didn't wash my hands and you just licked it!" He exclaimed. Your heart swells in adoration at his statement.

You laughed and Spencer committed that to memory, carved it in his mind. Seeing you laugh and not hunch yourself in pain is refreshing to Spencer, he can't bear seeing you in pain.

----

You were tucked beside Spencer on the couch your head on his chest, dried tears on your cheeks as you heaved in a sigh. Every movement you make feels like torture.

Spencer didn't know what to do he felt helpless, but having him by your side throughout all of this had brought you comfort more than ever.

You dragged your hands across his chest rubbing gently the movement brought small pain to your joints but you didn't mind. He grabbed your hand, stopping your movement as he rubbed circles on your skin.

"You okay?" He asked, gentle as ever.

You hummed "I'm fine" you mumbled.

Lie. He knows you're in so much pain right now and he wished, God, he begged to make it all go away. Make it go away as easily as the wind takes the leaves.

"I love you" you whispered, his heart flipped out of fear. His lips parted then closed and you felt him hold you closer.

"Please don't make it sound like it's gonna be the last time you'll say it" his breath shuddered as he said it, lips trembling and voice cracking. He had felt his heart break a thousand times when you said you loved him.

You saying 'I love you' doesn't feel the same anymore, it feels different. He wants it to feel warm, not cold, and not think it will be the last.

You frowned "I'm sorry, I don't mean it to sound like that, Honey" Spencer wanted to cry but he already shed so many tears through his sleepless nights as he felt you press against him at night and think that he wouldn't be able to hold you this close for a long time.

"Don't apologize" he mumbled and kissed your forehead, his kiss lingering a bit longer.

Your hair was shorter, you insisted that he cut it and he remembered you laughing when he cut it too short. If your hair wasn't falling off every time you pulled it, you would've been so mad but at that moment you didn't care.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you cried and Spencer didn't hesitate to hold you in his arms and kiss every inch of your face.

"You look beautiful, you are beautiful, my gorgeous and brave wife" he whispered.

You cried and buried your face in the crook of his neck "You don't have to say that" you cried.

"It's true and I'm not letting you go until you believe it" he insisted and you've been stuck with him for a few hours before you believed him.

You watched the stars after that and he pointed to every constellation he sees and you listened, committing his voice into your mind.

----

Spencer listens to the monitor of your heart as he watches your chest rise and fall. His hand rests atop yours, his brows knitting together in concern.

The Doctor said he needed to be prepared. He's not. He can't breathe when you flutter your eyes open.

"Spencer?" You uttered slightly panicked, your throat dry as you looked around the room.

Spencer sniffled before clearing his throat "I'm here, Angel" he said softly as he met your gaze.

He sees you visibly relax and that brings comfort to his already broken heart.

"Hi," you sighed.

"Hey," he whispered. At that moment he didn't think you were in pain or under the dim light of the hospital. He remembers it like it was the first time meeting you all over again.

He sees your skin warm and vibrant again, your hair falling effortlessly over your shoulder, and your laugh sounds more alive. He thinks you'll sound and look like that if he lets you go.

His throat tightened and he swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bopping as he looked down on your intertwined hands. You're the light of his life, but staying means your flame will eat itself up.

"Come here, please" you pleaded as you patted the space next to you, and Spencer had a hard time declining.

He climbed on the hospital bed, making sure to be as careful as ever, when he was comfortable he engulfed you in his arms.

It was silent for a while then he heard your weak voice "I don't want to leave" but he felt you were leaving already.

"I don't want you to leave either" and he broke down like the first time he found out your life was only to keep for a fraction of a second.

You wiped away his tears, fingertips shaking slightly "I love you until the day that I die, whether it'll be today, tomorrow, or the next day but I'll love you beyond death itself" you choked out.

Spencer cupped your face, he's accepting it even if it's painful, he had to.

"I love you, more than anything else in this world" he sobbed, locking his lips with yours. When you parted he rested against you, nose touching, he savored that feeling.

Loving you was easy, letting you go on the other hand is a different story. He thinks he won't be able to, not for a long time, not forever at all.

"I want you to know that you are so so loved, Spence. I have spent the majority of my life dreaming of loving someone and that so happens to be you and I wouldn't have had it any other way" you muttered, your breathing becoming more labored as you spoke.

Spencer pursed his lips as he closed his eyes tightly. He can't explain the pain he feels right now, can't explain how much it fucking hurts. You heard his sobs and you felt your heart crack.

"I can't do this without you" he stammered.

"Yes you can, you did it before" you mumbled, and he shook his head.

"That was before I got to meet you, my life didn't start until I met you" he whispered, sniffling, his eyes bloodshot from crying.

"That's not true" you insisted.

"It is" came his immediate reply.

A comfortable silence followed then you spoke again.

"Can you read to me please?" You mumbled.

He smiled and nodded "Sure, sweetheart" and so he read until you fell asleep. He didn't sleep, he lay awake on your deathbed wishing every moment was longer.

You flatline at 2:38 a.m he didn't call out for the doctor, he knows they can't save you so he held you closer and he cried to the point where he felt like throwing up.

Your body was cold, lifeless, and limp. He couldn't handle it so after an hour he finally called the doctor. Watched on the sidelines as the nurses checked your pulse and watched their eyes change in realization.

The doctor shook her head as she covered your whole body with the white sheet. Spencer looked away as he made his way to the bathroom.

He threw up, and the bitter taste lingered when he got out. His gaze grew lifeless as the hour passed. Derek picked him up from the hospital and the only thing Derek could describe him was 'he was a walking corpse'

....

The first night after your death, he wished he would dream of you but he didn't.

The next morning he woke up in an empty bed, and everywhere he walked around the house he could see any reminder of you.

Picture frames, flowers, vases, letters, mugs, and the list goes on.

When he makes breakfast he always prepares two plates and when he realizes that he is alone he spirals for an hour long or longer.

And when he goes to sleep he hugs your picture, wishing for the slightest amount of warmth from your things as he can but receives coldness in the form of an empty bed.

But when he finally dreams of you, he doesn't want to wake up.

You were sat on top of a hill, flowers surrounding you, your back facing him but he felt like you knew he was there so he sat down next to you.

Your hair wasn't short anymore, you weren't pale and most of all you didn't look like you were in pain. Your eyes were shut but you had a smile on your face.

"You need to eat more, Spence" you muttered with a smile as you meet his gaze. His eyes welled with tears when he heard your voice.

He tackled you in a hug and you yelped laughing as he looked down at you. You grin adoringly at him as you cupped his face with both of your hands.

"I can only see you once, my love," you said and he felt his heart drop, he wanted to see you every day.

"Are you in pain?" He asked as his knuckles graze your cheeks.

You shake your head "No" and he smiles "Good" he whispers as he lets a tear fall from his eyes. He was so happy to hear that.

"I love you so much," he said as he trailed kisses from your forehead, nose, cheeks, and to your lips. You giggled "I love you too," you said but this time your I love you didn't feel cold and it didn't feel like a goodbye.

"I want to be with you," he said through tears, you wiped them away gently your fingertips no longer shaking and that made him so happy.

"Soon but not now" you replied.

"Can I at least stay with you until I wake up?" He asked pleadingly.

You chuckled and nodded making him smile. His head was now resting on your lap as you played with his curls.

"Can you read to me, please?" He requested.

"Of course, my love" you whispered and he basked in your sweet voice, he wished he could record it so he could listen to it when he misses you which is every second of the day.

He didn't know how long he stayed with you but when he woke up you were gone and for the first few hours he just sat there and looked for your warmth again.

Spencer felt a part of him was taken away from him ever since you left.

He wanted you back, he wants his wife back.

---

Dividers from @cafekitsune ;D

[star-girl69]

Love Song

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

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a/n: just needed to do some general hc’s to get all my thoughts in order i hope you all enjoy!!

Love song - Lana Del Rey

warnings: the formatting is weird idk why i can’t fix it but y’all will live, swearing, a little itty bitty bit of violence, every facet of clarisse finding its way here and i love them all, tell me if i missed anything!!

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i’m sure we all agree on this

but clarisse is very protective of you

even if you’re a very capable fighter, even if you’re even better than her, clarisse is still so protective of you

i mentioned this in one of my fics (maybe so it goes…????) but like the reason behind this is the fact that clarisse is just SCARED

she is terrified of losing you bc you are the only one she feels like she can be herself with

like clarisse is insane!!!!! in a good way!!!!! but also she’s a 17 year old girl…. she wants TO BE LOVED

she tries to talk to you about how she feels about her dad and about everything else in her life, but even though she doesn’t want to be, she’s locked up like a vault

she knows her emotions are always super intense and she has big reactions

major anger issues but they’ve gotten better with age

the problem is she spent her entire life being told that she needed to calm down, that she couldn’t feel like that all the time, and she just tried to shut down

obviously that did not work

but it still makes it virtually impossible to talk about her feelings

when it comes to you tho she’s an open book

she’s a daughter of ares she’s headstrong she’s proud and her fatal flaw is PRIDE

i mentioned this before but she wants everyone to know that you’re hers and she’s yours

your relationship is partly very public

she’s not afraid to touch you or kiss you

she’s not afraid to show you off and (needs to) show everyone that yes your beautiful self belongs to HER

so naturally she gets very jealous

even when you’re like clarisse you are INSANE

there’s been a few times when you first started dating and you were still getting comfortable and weren’t that public yet so like someone would flirt with you

it went like this

boy: hey what’s up you’re kinda fine

y/n: oh! oh yeah no….. no…..

clarisse: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU—

then she started attacking him

lost dessert privileges for a month, she proudly declared that it was worth it (besides you would sneak her bites of yours like)

now that everyone knows you’re hers her jealousy is rooted a lot more in delusion and insecurity

you’ll be like in a group talking someone and she’ll pull you closer and be like “i think that guys staring at you a little too much.”

“clarisse no the fuck he’s not what”

b/c of the fact that she isn’t a son for her father she gets insanely jealous if specifically a MAN gets even an inch too close however innocently

she doesn’t want to think it but she thinks you’ll eventually realize her father is right and she’s not as useful or good bc she’s a girl

most of the time when she gets jealous bc of her insecurities she just becomes extra clingy

but also any emotion she feels she gets extra clingy to you so sometimes it’s hard to tell LMAO

she isn’t really a big hand holder but that’s only because she’s actually holding you CLOSER to her by your waist

also one more note about your relationship publically

everyone gets whiplash bc like she’s a BULLY fo everyone else and then you walk over and she’s all heart eyes

i hate everyone but you trope save me

save me i hate everyone but you trope

THIS HAPPENED IN IN A GOOD WAY

clarisse: pushes percy over

you: nuh uh clarissseeeeeeee

clarisse: omg hi beautiful gf

you: touches her shoulder, looks at her disapprovingly

clarisse: fine i’ll go, *scares percy*, bye bye beautiful ily

like she’s just being a bitch and then all of a sudden you come around and she’s like hiiiiiii babyyyyy how is my gorgeous gorgeous girl today??

so outwardly clarisse is just very proud and touchy

privately she lets herself be a little more chill

this is where she really touchy you thought before was worse nah

idk if y’all have noticed but in my fics clar’s always holding on y/n’s hips and that’s just me self projecting bc i have the most horrid hip dips but my point still stands

SHE LOVES YOUR HIPS

would totally call them “love handles” IM SORRYY

but she just likes having a place to hold where she can just like kinda actually physically grab you with her hands

like yeah she can wrap her arms around your waist but she likes to GRAB you

cuddling w her is fun bc like this girl cannot get ENOUGH of you there’s only like three ways you cuddle

you on top of her whether just like completely on top of her (one of her favs) or just with your head on her chest

this is what happens whenever you feel scared

like there was a monster attack just near the barrier and you’ve all been feeling uneasy all day

TRUST you are sleeping in her bed tonight

wraps her arms around you so tight it’s like she’s crushing you

also she’s running your back or caressing your head whichever you prefer

she keeps her spear right next to her bed and makes sure you can see it so you know however subconsciously NOTHING can hurt you bc she’s right there (nothings gonna hurt you baby vibes)

or she’s on top of you this one usually happens when she’s feeling a little extra insecure and jealous and it’s like no one can see you if she’s on top of her so then you’re hers

she isn’t the smartest one in the bunch but she has good intentions!!!!

also she lays on top of you if you get hurt

like after so it goes for example when y/n got that little cut on her hand

you’re like “clar pls you’re crushing me”

“um ok you scared the shit out of me today tho you need to LET ME do this fuck”

third option

you’re both laying on your side and facing each other legs tangled together and she’s probably whispering to you

she’s a big whisperer i feel it in my heart

like tracing her hands on your face and saying your so beautiful or telling you how you make her feel

oh lord take me now

also she loves you the way hozier loves

“someone asked me in the end i’d tell them ‘put me back in it’ // darlin’ i would do it again // if i could hold for a minute”

“when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth no grave could hold my body down i’d crawl back to her”

like she BREATHES for you

if she died and then you were like “i miss you” trust she would find a way to come back to life

totally daydreams about going on such a fantastical quest that the gods offer both of you immortality so you can be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever

like if the world ends y’all would still be there having a little picnic date

devotion is the only word that comes close

anyways

ok nicknames she calls you:

baby, angel, gorgeous, pretty thing/girl, beautiful, lovely, dummy (lovingly)

(recently saw a few posts abt clarisse saying mama/mamas i may be swayed)

dates she takes you on:

forces you to train w her even if you don’t like it but she lets you win OBVIIIII, under the stars in the woods, take your dinners to go and sneak back to either hers or your cabin to eat together, secret makeout sessions in the bathroom her cabin your cabin anywhere she can get her hands on you

this is so random but i get horrible migraines and i am ADDICTED to these like headache relief frequency sounds on youtube i swear they work and i was like omg you can’t have electronics at chb I WOULD NOT SURVIVE

so if you are a real one like me and get horrible migraines but this goes for being sick in general she’s like a little puppy pretending to be a wolf barely holding it together

she’ll be like at the foot of your bed begging you not to go into the light while shouting at someone at the same time to refill your water

you like have a cold

she would rub your temples if you had a headache and she would literally be like a doll for you to move around like oh you wanna lay on her chest? by all means

you wanna lay upside down with your feet in her face? as long as you get better you can do whatever you want!

you don’t wanna touch her at all? that’s where she draws the line

you’ll be like “ugh i’m hot get away from me”

“okay ☹️☹️”

“why are you touching my feet with your feet”

she places you above everyone else

like yeah other people are ok…….

but you 😍😍😍😍😍😍

this is slightly cringe but she would fr burn the whole world down and not let a flame touch you

LIKE HAVE YALL SEEN THE ANONS IVE BEEN POSTING AND THE CAPTURE THE FLAG THINGS 😱😱😱😱 (y’all always check my blog im always posting the funniest shit bc i’m funny)

“you’re one opposite teams blah blah blah you get hurt clarisse drops EVERYTHING to help you even if just a paper cut” (i have no chill fic coming soon)

THEN THEN the other one that was like “ok but what if you ACTUALLY get hurt like broken leg”

clarisse just goes crazy when you’re hurt

in so it goes: “what if that cut gets infected?”

you’re her WORLD she literally can’t stand the thought or something happening to you or else she starts literally shaking in anger and sadness

but when clarisse gets hurt it’s a whole other story

LIKE FUCK YOU JUST WANNA CARE ABOUT HER AND SHES ALL LIKE “it’s chill.”

NO ITS NOT YOURE GONNA BLEED OUT 😭😭

clarisse never let’s anyone but you see her true emotions

like yeah when you’re in public and you’re being cutesy she starts smiling and everyone is SO confused

but still

she never lets anyone see her as WEAK

so she always downplays her injuries in terms of how much they hurt, but flaunts them off proudly at the same time?? yeah that makes sense

after a capture the flag game you march her to the bathroom with a first aid kit “ok baby take off your shirt”

she always makes some flirty comment like SHUSH NOT RN

then she has all these bruises and every once in a while a cut from someone’s sword

you’re like 😔😔💔

you’re the only one she will let clean her up

unless she like breaks a bone or needs stitches (which has never happened) no way in hell she’s going to the healers

if you’re a child of apollo or smth she’s like “i literally have my own person healer right here…..”

anyways i think that’s all but i will probably be updating this when i think of more stuff bc as we know i have no chill

thank you all sm for reading and reblogging and liking and commenting and sending all of your WONDERFUL asks they make me so happy i’m always giggling when i get one

anyways bye bye 😘

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taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme

[goddessofvalyria]

THE OTHER WOMAN | Modern!Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

Summary: She is the daughter of a prominent politician, Aemond is her father's political partner. They have been lovers for a few months, but feelings can become dangerous…

After I read @peachysunrize amazing and well written fic, this mine was inspired by hers, so I'm gonna giver her all the credit for the inspo 🖤

TW: 18+, MINORS DNI, She/Her pronouns, kissing, sexual themes, oral (f receiving), fingering, SMUT, sexual tension, sex, cheating, spanking, age gap (Aemond is in his early 30s, married to Floris Baratheon and he's a girl dad, she his lover, is in her early 20s). Aemond calls her princess, good girl and babygirl. She calls him daddy. This is a modern Aemond in modern AU, he doesn’t have his disability (his eye).

English is not my first language, be kind and enjoy the fic <3

This is my Masterlist

Words: 4440

"The other woman will always cry herself to sleep. The other woman will never have his love to keep. And as the years go by, the other woman will spend her life alone."

― The other woman, Lana Del Rey.

The bathroom of the luxury restaurant is dimly lit, the soft glow of candles casting flickering shadows on the walls. Outside, the sounds of celebration filter through the heavy wooden door—their families, friends, and political allies gathered for a victory dinner after the elections. Her's father, Aemond’s wife, Floris, his little daughter Alysanne, and all their partners are seated at a grand table, laughing and toasting to their success.

Inside, however, there is no laughter—only the heated, breathless silence that hangs between Aemond and his little secret: her, the daughter of his political partner.

She left the room with the excuse of going to the bathroom, he left after five minutes to go and smoke a cigarette before dessert.

She presses herself against the cool marble counter, her breath quickening as Aemond steps closer, his eyes dark with desire. He places a hand on her waist, pulling her to him, their bodies flush together.

“We shouldn’t be doing this” she whispers, though her hands reach up to clutch his shoulders, her fingers curling into the fabric of his suit.

“I know” Aemond murmurs, his voice low and thick with urgency. “But I can’t stay away from you.” He smells her French perfume that he gave to her for her birthday.

Their lips crash together in a searing kiss, all passion and fire. His hands roam her back, pulling her closer, as if he’s afraid she might slip away. She tastes the wine on his lips, feels the desperation in his touch, and it ignites something deep within her—a hunger, a need she cannot deny.

They break apart for a moment, both gasping for breath. “Aemond” she breathes, her voice filled with a mix of fear and longing. “They’re right outside…”

“Let them be” he replies fiercely, capturing her lips again. His kiss is demanding, almost punishing, as if he’s trying to pour all the frustration and desire he feels into this one stolen moment.

Her heart races, a mix of adrenaline and desire coursing through her veins. She knows the danger of this, knows the consequences if they’re caught. But in this moment, with Aemond’s hands on her body and his lips on hers, she doesn’t care. She wants him—needs him—more than she’s ever needed anything.

Aemond’s hands slide up her thighs, pulling her closer, his mouth moving to her neck, where he plants a trail of burning kisses. She tilts her head back, giving him more access, a soft moan escaping her lips. She knows she should stop this, push him away, but every nerve in her body is screaming for more, for him.

“Gods, princess” Aemond groans against her skin, his breath hot and ragged. “You drive me mad.”

She smiles, a wicked glint in her eyes. “Good” she whispers, her lips brushing against his ear. “I want you to be mad. I want you to lose control.”

He pulls back, his eyes blazing with a mixture of lust and frustration. “You’re playing a dangerous game” he warns, his voice low and husky.

“I know” she replies, her hand sliding down to the front of his trousers, feeling the heat of his arousal. “But isn’t that what makes it exciting?”

Aemond’s eyes darken, and with a low growl, he crushes his lips to hers once more. Their tongues dance in a heated battle for dominance, the taste of him intoxicating. She can feel the tension in his body, the barely restrained desire, and it fuels her own fire.

The sound of laughter from outside the door pulls them back to reality, and they break apart, both panting heavily. Aemond rests his forehead against hers, his hands still gripping her hips. “We need to go back” he says, though his voice is thick with reluctance.

She nods, her chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath. “Yes” she agrees, though every fiber of her being is screaming for more. She smooths her dress, trying to steady her racing heart. “We’ll talk later.”

Aemond’s eyes bore into hers, filled with a mixture of longing and regret. “Yes” he says quietly, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Later in your hotel room.”

With one last, lingering look, he turns and opens the door, stepping back into the light and noise of the restaurant, leaving her alone in the dimly lit bathroom, her heart still pounding with the heat of their forbidden kiss.

When Aemond and she return to the table, the atmosphere is light, filled with laughter and clinking glasses. Aemond slips into his seat and immediately lifts his daughter onto his lap. Alysanne, the little girl giggles, nestling into her father's arms, her small hands playing with the buttons on his jacket. She takes her place beside her father, trying to ignore the way her skin still burns from Aemond's touch.

She picks up her dessert fork, eyeing the delicate chocolate mousse in front of her, but her appetite has vanished. Her father, noticing her hesitation, leans in with a concerned look. "Dear, what's wrong?" he asks softly. "You’ve barely touched your food."

She forces a small smile, setting the fork down. "I’m fine, dad" she replies, her voice steady but lacking its usual vibrance. "I just don’t feel very well. I think I need to get back to my hotel room."

Aemond glances over at her, his eyes sharp with concern and something else—something deeper that he quickly masks with a casual smile. His daughter, however, is less subtle. Alysanne points directly at her, the little girl eyes wide and filled with childish wonder. "She looks like a fairy tale princess!" she exclaims, her voice bright with excitement. "Look at her dress—it sparkles! And her hair… it’s like the ladies in my storybooks."

The adults at the table laugh softly, charmed by the girl's innocence. She manages a genuine smile, touched by the child's sincerity, even as her heart twists with conflicting emotions. Aemond's gaze remains fixed on her, unreadable, but his grip on his daughter tightens slightly.

As the dinner draws to a close, the conversations turn to politics and future strategies. Aemond leans over to her, his voice low enough for only her to hear. "Would you mind taking Alysanne out to the park for a while?" he asks. "We’re going to discuss a few more things here."

She hesitates, but the hopeful look in the little girl's eyes makes her nod. "Of course" she agrees, standing up and offering her hand to the girl. "Come on, princess" she says with a gentle smile. "Let’s go on an adventure."

Outside in the park, the night air is cool and refreshing. Alysanne chatters away, her small hand clutching's her tightly. She twirls around, mimicking a princess with every step, her eyes never leaving her. "You really are like a princess" she says dreamily. "Are you sure you’re not from a fairy tale?"

She laughs softly, her heart aching at the purity of the child’s admiration. "I’m sure" she says gently. "But I’m glad you think so."

From inside the restaurant, Aemond watches them through the large windows, a soft smile playing on his lips as he sees his daughter so happy. But his gaze lingers on her—her elegance, her grace, the way she moves like she’s gliding on air. He feels a pang of something—regret, perhaps, or longing.

Inside, the photographers gather for the official photos, capturing the newly victorious politicians and their families. She turns slightly, catching sight of Aemond and Floris through the window. They’re standing close, their heads bowed together as they talk. Then, unexpectedly, Floris leans in, and Aemond kisses her. It's a tender, lingering kiss, one meant for the cameras and the public eye. But to her, it feels like a dagger to the heart.

She quickly turns away, blinking back the sting of tears. Alysanne notices the change in her demeanor and stops her twirling. "Are you okay, princess?" she asks, her small face full of concern.

She forces another smile, nodding. "I’m fine, sweetie" she says softly. "Let’s keep walking a little longer."

When the dinner finally ends, they all head back to the hotel. The mood is still celebratory, but she feels distant, like she’s moving through a dream. As they reach their rooms, she turns to her father and the rest of the group. "I think I’ll head in for the night," she says quietly. "I’m still not feeling very well."

Her father looks at her with concern, but he nods. "Of course, dear. Get some rest. We’ll see you in the morning."

Aemond’s eyes meet hers for a brief, intense moment, but she quickly looks away, slipping into her room without another word. Once inside, she leans against the door, closing her eyes as a single tear escapes down her cheek. She takes a deep breath, pushing the feelings down, burying them where no one—not even Aemond—can see.

Tonight, she decides, she will let herself feel the pain. But tomorrow, she will be the politician’s daughter again—strong, composed, and ready to face whatever comes next.

She hate being the other woman.

The other woman will always cry herself to sleep. The other woman will never have his love to keep. And as the years go by, the other woman will spend her life alone.

Aemond paces the balcony of his hotel room, the cool night air doing little to calm the storm brewing inside him. Behind him, Floris leans against the railing, her expression set in a mask of irritation and defiance. Inside, their daughter sleeps soundly in the middle of their bed, oblivious to the tension simmering between her parents just outside.

“You have to stop behaving like this, Aemond” Floris snaps, her voice low but sharp enough to cut through the night. “People are starting to notice. You’re making a spectacle of yourself.”

Aemond stops mid-pace, turning to face her, his violet eyes blazing with anger. “Behaving like what, Floris?” he spits, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Like a man trapped in a marriage that’s nothing more than a political arrangement?”

Floris rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “We both knew what this marriage was, Aemond. You can’t act like you’re some wounded victim now.”

Aemond steps closer, his face inches from hers, his voice a low growl. “Our marriage is a pure political agreement because the Baratheons side with the Targaryens. Fucking you drunk and having a daughter is the only good thing you’ve done.”

Floris’s eyes widen in shock, then narrow in fury. “How dare you...” she hisses, her voice trembling with rage. “Do you think you’re so much better? You’re nothing but a cold, arrogant bastard who hides behind his fucking name.”

Aemond’s jaw clenches, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “Watch your tongue, Floris” he warns, his voice dangerously low. “You forget yourself.”

But Floris isn’t done. Her face flushes with anger, and she leans in, her words laced with venom. “You want the truth, Aemond? I’ve been cheating on you since day one. From the moment we said our vows, I was already looking elsewhere. But your precious daughter? She is yours, even if you don’t deserve her.”

Aemond feels a cold, sinking sensation in his chest, his mind racing with her words. "Don't talk about my daughter. I'm always there for her, I care about her, I take and pick her to school, I take her to the doctor when she is sick, I bought her little gift and you?! You leave her with the baby sitter and go out with your fucking friends! "

For a moment, he’s speechless, stunned into silence by her confession. Then the anger flares up again, hotter and more consuming than before.

He steps back, his expression hardening into a mask of controlled fury. “You disgust me” he says quietly, his voice like ice. “I can’t even stand to look at you.”

Floris smirks, unbothered by his words. “Then don’t” she snaps. “Leave. Go run to your little whore if that’s what makes you feel better.”

Aemond’s eyes darken, but he doesn’t reply. Instead, he turns on his heel and storms back into the room. He spares a glance at his sleeping daughter, his heart softening momentarily. Alysanne is the only reason he’s stayed this long, endured this sham of a marriage. But even that isn’t enough anymore.

Without another word, he heads out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him. His steps are quick and purposeful as he crosses the hallway, his mind racing. He reaches her's door and pauses for just a moment, his breath coming in short, angry bursts. Then he raises his hand and knocks, the sound echoing in the quiet corridor.

Inside, his lover sits on the edge of her bed, her heart still heavy from the events of the evening. She had been trying to distract herself, but her mind keeps drifting back to Aemond, to the kiss he shared with Floris, to the way he looked at her, torn between duty and desire.

The knock at the door startles her, and she stands, her pulse quickening. She knows it’s him—somehow, she just knows. She hesitates for a moment, then crosses the room and opens the door.

Aemond stands there, his expression a mixture of anger and desperation. “Princess” he says, his voice rough, almost broken. “I need to talk to you, I need you.”

She looks at him, her heart pounding in her chest. She can see the turmoil in his eyes, the pain he’s trying so hard to hide. She steps aside, opening the door wider to let him in. “Come in” she says softly, her voice barely more than a whisper.

He steps inside, and she closes the door behind him, turning to face him. For a moment, they just stand there, staring at each other, the silence between them thick and heavy with unspoken words. Then Aemond moves forward, closing the distance between them in two quick strides.

Before she can say anything, he pulls her into his arms, his lips crashing down onto hers with a fierce, desperate hunger. She gasps against his mouth, but then she’s kissing him back, all her frustration, anger, and longing pouring out in that one heated moment.

His hands move to her waist, pulling her closer, and she melts against him, her fingers tangling in his hair. She knows this is dangerous, knows this could change everything, but right now, in this moment, she doesn’t care. She just wants him—needs him—as much as he needs her.

“Aemond” she whispers against his lips, her voice trembling with a mix of fear and desire.

He pulls back slightly, his forehead resting against hers. “I can’t do this anymore” he murmurs, his breath warm against her skin. “I can’t pretend. I can’t keep up the charade. I need you.”

She looks up at him, her eyes searching his. “Then don’t pretend” she says softly. “Don’t hide.”

He closes his eyes, taking a deep, shuddering breath. “I don’t know what to do...” he admits, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I don’t know how to make this right... I'm lost.”

Aemond’s breath is ragged against her lips, his grip on her waist firm and desperate. For a moment, they stay there, locked in a kiss that feels like both a promise and a plea. But then she pulls back, her eyes searching his, her expression full of conflicting emotions.

“Aemond, we can’t keep doing this” she says, her voice trembling with a mix of frustration and hurt. “What are we? What do you even want from me?”

He takes a step back, running a hand through his hair, clearly torn. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I want—what I need—except you” he replies, his tone raw, almost desperate. “I can’t stand seeing you with anyone else. I can't stand this anymore."

She shakes her head, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. “And what about your wife? What about Floris? You kissed her tonight, right in front of everyone. Are you going to pretend that didn’t happen?”

Aemond’s face darkens, his frustration boiling over. “That was for the cameras” he snaps. “For appearances, for politics. It meant nothing.”

“It didn’t look like nothing” she retorts, her voice rising. “It looked like you were still playing the dutiful husband.”

Aemond’s eyes flash with anger. “You think I want this? You think I want to be stuck in this sham of a marriage?”

“Then leave her!” she exclaims, her frustration spilling over. “If you hate it so much, if it’s such a burden, then why don’t you just leave?”

“It’s not that simple” Aemond snaps, his voice taut with tension. “You don’t understand—”

“Then explain it to me!” she interrupts, her eyes flashing with hurt. “Make me understand, Aemond. Because right now, all I see is a man who can’t make up his mind, who’s too afraid to choose.”

Aemond’s jaw clenches, his eyes blazing with a mix of anger and frustration. “You want to know the truth?” he says harshly. “Fine. Floris has been cheating on me since the day we got married. Our whole marriage is a lie. She doesn’t love me and I sure as hell don’t love her.”

She stares at him, stunned by his admission. She opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out. The weight of his confession hangs heavy in the air between them.

“She’s been with someone else this whole time” Aemond continues, his voice raw with pain. “I’ve been a fool, playing the part of a faithful husband while she’s been screwing someone else behind my back.”

Her heart twists in her chest. She takes a step forward, her hand reaching out to touch his arm. “Aemond…”

But he pulls away, his expression a mixture of hurt and anger. “And you” he adds, his voice breaking. “You think I’m some kind of monster, torn between two women. But it’s not like that. It’s never been like that. You're not the other woman, you're the only who I love.”

Her eyes well up with tears, her own anger flaring in response. “Then what is it, Aemond? Tell me! Because I can’t keep doing this, pretending like I don’t feel anything when I see you with her, when I know you’re still tied to her.”

Aemond’s gaze locks with hers, intense and unyielding. “It’s you” he says fiercely. “It’s always been you. I’m tired of hiding, of pretending. I want you. Only you.”

Before she can respond, he closes the distance between them, his lips crashing onto hers with a force that takes her breath away. It’s a kiss full of anger, frustration, and pent-up desire, as if he’s pouring all his emotions into this one moment.

She responds with equal fervor, her hands clutching at his shirt, pulling him closer. She feels the heat of his body against hers, the raw need that radiates off him in waves. Their kiss deepens, turning from angry to desperate, their tongues clashing, teeth scraping, both of them too consumed by their emotions to care about anything else.

Aemond’s hands move to her back, pulling her flush against him, his grip possessive, almost bruising. “Princess” he groans against her lips, his voice thick with need. “I need you. Now.”

She doesn’t answer, but her body does, pressing against him, her nails digging into his back as she pulls him toward the bed. He lifts her effortlessly, carrying her the few steps to the bed and dropping her onto the mattress, his body following hers down.

Their clothes are a blur, a flurry of buttons and zippers, each piece discarded carelessly onto the floor as they tear at each other’s garments with frantic hands. He is naked with only is boxers on, she's wearing black lace panties and no bra.

"Gods, the woman she is." Aemond thinks.

The room fills with the sounds of their heavy breathing, the rustle of sheets, the creaking of the bed under their combined weight.

Aemond hovers over her, his eyes dark and intense, his breath hot against her skin. “This isn’t just sex” he murmurs, his voice low and rough. “This is everything I’ve wanted, everything I’ve needed.”

She nods, her own breath ragged, her hands roaming over his body, feeling the muscles tense and flex beneath her touch. “Then show me” she whispers, her voice a mix of challenge and invitation. “Show me what I mean to you.”

With a growl, he captures her lips again, his body pressing into hers, skin against skin, heat against heat.

Every touch is electric, every kiss searing, their bodies speaking the words their mouths can’t. It’s a release of all the pent-up emotions, all the pain and longing they’ve both been harboring for months.

As they are together, the world outside fades away. There’s no Floris, no politics, no lies or betrayals—just the two of them, lost in each other, finding solace in their shared passion.

Aemond kneels on the floor, opens her legs still cover with her lace panties and looks at her wet cunt so wet and hot at the same time. "You have soaked these panties" he smirks and after she lifts her lips, he put them down. "Gods, I need this pretty cunt so fucking much"

He starts to lick her between her spread legs and go so much deeper with his tongue, moans of pure pleasure escaped her lips at the feel of his mouth on her, she grabs one boobs, moaning pleasure and stars to torment her nipple. "Aem- Aemond..."

He close his eye, brush his fingers over her sensitive spot and she tremble, her body shaking. "You like this type of sex: dirty and rough, but also passionate... Gods, princess you are meant to be mine"

She moans at the sensation of his tongue and two fingers inside her, torture and give her that damn prohibited pleasure. "Gods, Daddy" she arches her back, Aemond smirks.

She called him daddy.

She bites her lower lip, one hand into Aemond's hair. "Please, take me, please" she arches her back, feels Aemond's tongue fucking her, his arms around her legs.

"Daddy please" she beg him, Aemond stands up. "You've been a very bad, bad girl my dear" he looks at her: naked, aroused and she begs for him.

Aemond kneels on the bed and takes her hips with his hands and he turns her on the bed, her naked ass exposed to him. "I need to punish you, babygirl"

She looks at him. "How do you want to punish me, daddy?" she teases him. "You'll see, princess"

"Breathe slowly" Aemond whispers caressing her ass. "Hmm" she moans. "This is not a punishment" she feels his hand and they are so fucking good. He opens her legs again, finding her womanhood already wet and ready to take him. He smirks, push down his boxers and then he push his manhood between her thighs, gets wet into her pussy, he enters only the tip and then slowly push himself outside.

"Fuck you, Aemond" she growls and with one hand, he spank her ass. "What did you say princess?" he looks at her. "Fuck you" she repeats. "I don't wanna be the other woman, I wanna the only woman that warm your bed" she admits.

"Be a good girl for your daddy" he whispers and then he slaps her ass again and again, punishing her. "You're jealous, aren't you babygirl?"

"Yes" she whispers. "I'm fucking-" she doesn't finish the phrase that another slap hits her ass. "Good girl, good girl who likes to be spanked" he teases her. "I'm jealous too" he admits. "All these boys at your University... hmm babygirl, did you fuck them?" he asks. "No, daddy I only fuck you when you want. I'm yours."

"A good girl need her rewards" he smile devilish pushing himself his coock her wet womanhood. Aemond breaths in her French perfume, kisses her and remained still for a few moments. "I'll take you raw, no condom" slowly he begin to thrust, the pace is slow, but soon it increase, she moans digging her red nails into the sheets.

"Aemond, Aemond, Aemond" she moans feeling him deeper and deeper. He fucks her rough but with passion, making her begging for more.

"I know you are a good girl for your daddy" Aemond whisper she nods lost in pleasure feeling her legs tremble, Aemond push his cock between her deep hole, caressing her wet folds with one hands and spanking her ass with other.

"I need to...I need to cum" she moans taking all the pleasure. "You need to cum, hm, babygirl?" he says, caressing her ass and pushing his cock to the limit.

"Cum for me babygirl" he smirks. "Cum on my cock, cum and let yourself feel the pleasure" she cry, Aemond bit his lower lip. "You will fill up with all my seed" he smirks. "I'm on the pill" she whispers, but he doesn't hear her words.

"Do you want to be mine? Then be mine, babygirl" he let himself cum into her thight pussy.

She crawls into her arms, Aemond wraps her and kiss her so deeply with his tongue. "My good girl alway ready for his daddy."

For a moment, they lie there, tangled in each other, their breathing heavy, their hearts pounding in unison. Aemond rests his forehead against hers, his hand gently caressing her cheek, his expression softer now, vulnerable.

“Princess” he whispers, his voice barely audible. “I’m not letting you go. Not ever.”

She closes her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek, but she nods, her heart too full to speak. They stay like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, knowing that whatever happens next, they’ll face it together.

"Don't tell me promises that you can't keep" she kisses his chest. "I love you Aemond, but I'll be always the other woman."

Aemond stays in silence, thinking how what he can do: surely divorcing from Floris and let her admitting his cheat in front of her father and after, taking his princess.

"If...I divorce, you will be my girl?" he asks. "I'm not goin to ruin your family" she answers. "Let me adjust some things, trust me" he caresses her long thick hair.

She fall asleep in his arms, Aemond watch out of the window and hope that one day they will be free to love each other.

"I truly love you" he whispers and a tear drops from his violet eye.

He loves her so much and soon she will be not the other woman, but his only and only love.

[princessbrunette]

playlists for the readers … ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ³ ᵔ ꒱ྀིა

bunny!reader ♡

just girly fun vibes — she likes her music catchy, pop-y and fairly relatable. rafe never lets her play her music in the car unfortunately, because he cannot be seen speeding down the road blasting the pussy cat dolls.

🎀 cassie — ditto

🎀 kali uchis, steve lacy, vince staples — only girl

🎀 frank ocean — sweet life

🎀 coco & clair — pretty

🎀 sabrina carpenter — feather

🎀 flo milli — never lose me

🎀 cassie — miss your touch

🎀 childish gambino, jhené aiko — pink toes

🎀 flo.rida, wynter — sugar

🎀 kali uchis — honey baby (SPOILED!)

🎀 angels — my boyfriends back

🎀 foxy brown, kelis — candy

🎀 lana del rey — music to watch boys to

🎀 jhené aiko — maniac

🎀 fergie — clumsy

🎀 ciara, 50 cent — can’t leave ‘em alone

🎀 shelley duvall — he needs me

🎀 nancy sinatra — sugar town

🎀 heidi montag — i’ll do it

🎀 nicki minaj, jeremiah — favourite

🎀 kali uchis — melting

🎀 lady gaga — boys boys boys

🎀 cassie — long way 2 go

🎀 the pussycat dolls — when i grow up

🎀 tom tom club — genius of love

🎀 beyoncé — freakum dress

🎀 gwen stefani — bubble pop electric

🎀 marina — primadonna girl

🎀 madonna — material girl

🎀 pussy cat dolls — stickwitu

🎀 leven kali, syd — do u wrong

🎀 kiana ledé — mad at me

kitty!reader ♡

listens to her music to feel cool n edgy. shes one of those people that think she’s a bitch but she’s not at all, just a lil grumpy. wants everyone to know she liked deftones before it was cool.

🐈‍⬛ pixies — is she weird

🐈‍⬛ arctic monkeys — mardy bum

🐈‍⬛ black box recorder — child psychology

🐈‍⬛ the smiths — pretty girls make graves

🐈‍⬛ ethel cain — crush

🐈‍⬛ mazzy star — she’s my baby

🐈‍⬛ radiohead — creep

🐈‍⬛ chris isaak — wicked game

🐈‍⬛ limp bizkit — rollin’

🐈‍⬛ the pretty reckless — makes me wanna die

🐈‍⬛ pearly drops — bloom for me

🐈‍⬛ deftones — root

🐈‍⬛ fka twigs — two weeks

🐈‍⬛ deftones — romantic dreams

🐈‍⬛ hole — doll parts

🐈‍⬛ margeaux — hot faced

🐈‍⬛ siouxsie and the banshees — she’s a carnival

🐈‍⬛ kip tyler — she’s my witch

🐈‍⬛ deftones — mascara

🐈‍⬛ soho dolls — bang bang bang bang

🐈‍⬛ enigma — sadeness

🐈‍⬛ DANGERDOOM, MF DOOM — perfect hair

🐈‍⬛ radiohead — idioteque

🐈‍⬛ björk — come to me

🐈‍⬛ the nbhd — fallen star

🐈‍⬛ arctic monkeys — crying lightening

🐈‍⬛ deftones — diamond eyes

🐈‍⬛ the smiths — girl afraid

🐈‍⬛ ethel cain — unpunishable

🐈‍⬛ mitski — townie

🐈‍⬛ gorillaz — kids with guns

🐈‍⬛ evanescence — taking over me

deer!reader ♡

she’d say her playlists are all over the place — but it’s organised mess. she has them perfectly collated and in her head they make perfect sense. don’t put her on the aux though, not because the songs aren’t good but because the vibes are all over the place.

🍪 shura — 2shy

🍪 minnie riperton — les fleurs

🍪 april march — chick habit

🍪 benee — kool

🍪 camille saint- saëns — … le cygne

🍪 the little dippers — forever

🍪 allie x, mitski — susie save your love

🍪 she & him — why do you let me stay here?

🍪 lesley gore — i’m coolin’ no foolin’

🍪 sza — prom

🍪 the penguins — earth angel

🍪 SALES — renee

🍪 cleo sol — sunshine

🍪 japanese breakfast — be sweet

🍪 kate bush — cloud busting

🍪 mazzy star — halah

🍪 the mamas & papas — dedicated to the one i love

🍪 scissors sisters — filthy / gorgeous

🍪 fiona apples — shameika

🍪 fleetwood mac — mystified

🍪 margo guryan — under my umbrella

🍪 erykah badu — apple tree

🍪 mort garson — plantasia

🍪 sza — sweet november

🍪 quadron — sea salt

🍪 corinne bailey rae — green aphrodisiac

🍪 sade — lovers rock

🍪 ella fitzgerald — moonlight serenade

🍪 cigarettes after sex — truly

🍪 tv girl — heaven is a bedroom

🍪 the velvet underground — femme fetale

🍪 clairo, coco & clair — racecar

🍪 james blake, rosalía — barefoot in the park

🍪 tame impala — nangs

puppy!reader ♡

never seen without her walkman — loves running around and dancing to her upbeat music. her playlists will remind you of days in the sun and dancing in summer rain.

🐶 her’s — love on the line (call now)

🐶 HAIM — summer girl

🐶 the la’s — there she goes

🐶 stacey q — two of hearts

🐶 faye webster — right side of my neck

🐶 bakar, summer walker — hell n back

🐶 beabadoobee — sunny day

🐶 dominic fike — babydoll

🐶 jungle — back on 74

🐶 pinkpanthress — attracted to you

🐶 duran duran — girls on film

🐶 shuggie otis — strawberry letter 23

🐶 sixpence none the richer — kiss me

🐶 matilda mann — bloom

🐶 HAIM — falling

🐶 311 — amber

🐶 earth, wind & fire — boogie wonderland

🐶 lorde — ribs

🐶 lesley gore — sunshine lollipops and rainbows

🐶 stevie wonder — all i do

🐶 the human league — don’t you want me

🐶 the turtles — happy together

🐶 pet shop boys — west end girls

🐶 clairo — bags

🐶 pat benetar — love is a battlefield

🐶 the psychedelic furs — love my way

🐶 scouting for girls — she’s so lovely

🐶 noisettes — wild young hearts

🐶 the all eyes i — beat goes on

🐶 tame impala — elephant

🐶 sublime — waiting for my ruca

🐶 mgmt — boogie down

[cheeeeseburger]

Illicit affairs

Sergio Perez x Reader

Masterlist

A/N: Hi, I'm not sure about this one! English is not my first language, apologies for the mistakes!

You and Sergio had just gotten into a fight.  It was a big one, the kind that left you wanting space from the other. Since the hotel room forced you to be in the same space, you had gotten on a long walk around town. You had time to think, and although it hurt, your choice was made.

As soon as you walked in the hotel room, Sergio got up from where he was sitting on the bed. “Mi pastelito, I was worried you were not going to come back.” He pulled you in his arms. You hugged him back, taking care to note how he smells, the way it feels to be in his arms, how loved you felt. “This was a stupid fight. Let’s forget about it, okay?” he asked while carefully brushing your hair with his fingers. You immediately got teary eyes.

“Sergio, we need to talk.” You pulled his hand, so you were both sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked so concerned that it only made you want to cry harder. “¿Qué pasa?” You took a deep breath before saying out loud something that would break both of your hearts.

“I think we should stop seeing each other. I can’t be your mistress anymore.”

Every single word from those two sentences hurt. You had been his mistress for the last two years, ever since you had fallen for his charms at a GP. Since you were working for an F1 team, you were at all the races, and you and him naturally started and affair. You knew what you two shared wasn’t right, you knew you were the other woman, but you two shared something so special that you ignored all your moral judgement. You just listened to a lot of Lana Del Rey and cried whenever the urge to publicly show off your love was too strong.

Being his lover was a terribly beautiful thing. Nobody on Earth could ever feel as loved as you when you were with Sergio in private. He adored you and worshiped you for your mind, your body, your love. During those moments, you pretended he was your fiancé, your husband, the father of your children. You cosplayed as his wife. But your fantasy was always interrupted. In public, he had his wife and kids, and you stood to the side, pretending your heart was not longing for more, acting like you didn’t even know him. You let guys flirt with you since you were technically single. They all thought you were playing hard to get when you didn’t text them back.

But after two years of this illicit affair, your heart couldn’t take it anymore. The guilt was starting to be overwhelming. You were afraid of confessing everything anytime someone mentioned his name. This wasn’t fair to you or his family, and that’s why you had to stop seeing each other.

“What? Are you serious?” Unfortunately, you were. You batted your eyelashes to chase the tears away. “Sergio, this has been going on for too long. I can’t live with the thought that I’m possibly a homewrecker.” He looked at his ring finger that was always empty whenever you were together.

“Mi pastelito, you’re not a homewrecker, my wife doesn’t know about us, and she will never find out! We don’t have to stop, please don’t make us stop.” He was in agony, truly panicking when he thought about losing you. You caressed his face, trying to comfort him. You needed comforting too.  “Baby, you know the truth always comes out, especially with your level of fame. This isn’t fair to your children or your wife. I can’t be the one to ruin your relationship with your family.” A selfish little voice inside of you was screaming at you to ruin his family, make him divorce his wife so he’d finally fully be yours. Mine mine mine mine

“I’ll divorce my wife. My children, they’ll understand. It will be fine!” The selfish voice roared at his words, but the rest of you didn’t.  At this point, he was desperate, trying everything to make you stay. “Don’t say that. You don’t mean it. If you divorce your wife to be with me, one day, you will wake up and realize that this was all a mistake, that you should have stayed with her. You’ll start to resent me, I’m sure. I love you too much to let you do that,” you said softly, like you would to a child.

Sergio closed his eyes and let you comfort him. You continued: “I don’t want to be the other woman anymore. I want to be someone’s girlfriend in public, maybe even someone’s wife. I want to kiss you after a race, I want to go out in a restaurant with you, I want the whole world to know we’re in love, but I know you can’t give it to me.”

He immediately protested. “Mi pastelito, that’s what I’m saying! I’ll get a divorce, and I’ll marry you instead. I’ll get you a big diamond ring. We can have a big wedding, so everyone will see. Please, mi amor, give us a chance!”

You gave him a soft kiss. Saying yes would be so easy, and it was everything you wanted. But you could never live with yourself if he let his family down for you. “Baby, it’s okay. It’s all okay. In a few minutes, I’m going to leave this hotel room, and you’ll have to let me go, okay? We will probably see each other at the races, but we will look away and continue walking. The only thing I ask for is that you be the best version of yourself for your wife and your children. Please, work on your marriage, take care of your wife, be the perfect father for your children. You owe me that much.” You were both crying now, realizing that in a few minutes, you would never be in each other’s lives ever again. In a few minutes, you would walk out as a free woman, heartbroken but free, nonetheless.

“I promise. I’ll really try, even though you will always be in my heart. I will always look for you in a crowd, always wish that things had been different. I love you, mi pastelito.” It was his turn to comfort you. He took your hands and gently caressed them.

“I love you too, so much it hurts.” You smiled weakly through the tears. “When I’ll see you with you wife and children, I will be happy. I’ll know that we have done the right things. And when you see me in the paddock with some other guy, you’ll have to be happy, too.” He made a pained face at the last part.

“You know I could never be happy to see you with someone else. You should be with me.” He looked so sad, so hurt.

“Then you know how I have felt for the last two years, whenever I saw you with your wife. That’s why I must go, baby.” You kissed him, and Sergio and you knew it was the last kiss you two would ever share.

It was tender, filled with love and adoration for the other. It tasted like “maybe in another life” and “how come we can’t be together in this one?”. The kiss felt like heartbreak and love at the same time. When you pulled away, the look in his eyes almost crushed you to death. Leaving him was the most difficult thing you had ever done. When you stood up from the bed, he did not let go of your hand. He tried to pull you back, but you stood strong. When he realized you were actually leaving, he kissed your hand and laid his head on your arm. This was the final act of your story. You were the one that got away. If this was a movie, the director would get an Oscar for filmography and another one for screenplay.

He finally let go of you, after what could’ve been minutes or hours. You did not dare to look back as you stepped out of the room, because you knew the look of anguish and despair on his face would be the death of you. When you closed the door, you were not longer a mistress, but a lovesick woman. At least, you were guilt-free. Almost guilt-free.

。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+

The next few weeks were hell. You were missing your lover like crazy, and apparently, so did he, because he had sent multiple texts asking to see you again. Even though the temptation was there, you did not reply to any of his messages. You did read them multiple times and cried a lot over them, but that doesn’t count, right?

The fact that you were working in F1 and attending all the races didn’t help. You wanted to swoon every time you saw Sergio’s face on a poster. On a few occasions you almost ran into him, but you always managed to hide before he could see you. Your heartbeat was so fast and so loud, you swore he would discover you because of it.

To distract you and to respect your part of the deal, you started seeing an engineer. It had been four months since you lost your title of Sergio’s mistress, and when he asked you out, you said yes. He was kind, gentle, and way more into you than you were into him. In other words, he was the perfect rebound.

It was the week of the Australian GP, and the guy who was now your boyfriend took you to a nice restaurant to celebrate your two months. Honestly, things were going great. You were taking things slow with him, and although your stupid heart betrayed you by beating fast every time you saw Sergio, you weren’t nearly as upset as you were three months ago. You felt good about yourself.

You excused yourself to go to the bathroom before dessert. It really was a nice place. You might have had one too many Aperol Spritz, though.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, please excuse me!” You apologized as you ran into a man. When you looked up, it was Mr. Sergio Perez himself, thankfully without Mrs. Perez. That would have been awkward, or at least more awkward than this already was.

“Mi pastelito, it’s you. It’s really you,” was all Sergio said. He wasn’t sure if you were real or not. Perhaps you were cake?

“Hi,” you avoided his gaze and tried to run away, but he grabbed your arm. His touch immediately took you back to endless illicit nights spend together, where you had to restrain yourself from leaving marks on his body. Instead, he left love bites on yours.

“Are you really going to run away from me? Hide from me once again?” Oh, so he had seen you. Oops.

“Sergio, I don’t think this is a good idea. I’m on a date right now, we’re celebrating our two months” you confessed sheepishly.

He held on to your arm possessively. “Yes, I heard everything about that new boyfriend of yours. Congratulations, I guess.” He pulled you closer to him, so he could whisper in your ear. “But I don’t think you’ve truly moved on. I know I sure as hell haven’t. Mi pastelito, does he know you’ll never love him like you loved me? Like you still love me?” He pulled back then kissed you on each cheek, like you were old acquaintances meeting again. “It was lovely to see you. Have fun on your date, mi amor.”

He left you standing there, in shock and more in love with him than you had ever been. A five-minute interaction with him made you head over heels once again. How cruel was that for you, but also for your new boyfriend. When you went back to your seat, your boyfriend happily informed you that an anonymous gentleman had picked up your tab. You didn’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out who was the mysterious man.

The next morning, you broke up with your boyfriend.

。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜

Oh, you were definitely tipsy. Perhaps even drunk? But that’s the Miami GP afterparties for you!

Hey baby, it’s me!!!!!!!

Sergio jumped when he saw your name pop on his notifications. It was like a siren call he had hoped for in vain since you left him. He replied immediately.

Hello, are you okay mi amor?

Are you alone?

Yes, why?

Can I call you?

“Hello?” Sergio picked up the phone, confused but happy that you were calling him at midnight.

“Hiiiiiiiiiiii baby, it’s me!” He chuckled when he realized that you were drunk. He would have preferred that you had called him sober, but when it came to you, he would take anything.

“Hello, mi pastelito. Are you alright?” He hoped you were not passed out somewhere. He heard people shouting your name in the background, so you were probably with friends, thankfully.

“Oh baby, I’m doing soooooooo good actually. These guys keep buying me shots. It’s great!” He definitely didn’t like to hear that.

“I think you should slow down. Tell these guys to back off.” You were pleased to hear his possessive tone.

“Are you jealous? Because if you are, that’s hot. All of this is your fault, anyway.”

“Really? How come? And when it comes to you, I am always jealous.” He heard you sigh.

“Well, because I saw you the other day, I had to break off with my boyfriend. It wasn’t fair to him. Now, I’m drunk in the club, and I keep telling people it’s because I just broke up with my boyfriend but really, I’m trying to get over you.” He softened at your words.

“I don’t want you to get over me, mi amor. In fact, I’m glad that you’re not with that other guy anymore. Why don’t you come over and we can talk about it?” You were drunk, but not drunk enough to forget why you shouldn’t see him.

“Checo, I really, really, really think that this is a bad idea. We were doing so good, we hadn’t seen each other in months.” You whined. “But I just miss you so much, I can’t help it.” He smiled at your words. This was the longest conversation you two had since you broke up.

“Don’t fight it, mi amor. Text me the address, and I’ll come pick you up.” Oh, he was good. It almost worked.

“I see what you’re doing,” you could hear him laugh. “Here’s what going to happen, okay? I’ll convince some guy in the club to buy me some shots, and if it works and I get drunk enough, I’ll call a cab to go see you. Text me the address of your hotel, please, just in case.” He wasn’t so sure about your plan.

“I don’t like this. Why don’t I just come pick you up?” He especially didn’t like the part that involved you flirting your way to free shots.

“Come on, baby, learn to live a little! It’ll be a surprise. I’m going to hang up right now, okay?” He tried to stop you, but it was too late. He texted you his location and kept checking his phone to make sure he hadn’t missed your call or a message from you.

Finally, at one in the morning, his phone rang.

“Hey baby, it’s me again!” He liked that you had started calling him baby again. “I’m on my way to your hotel, will you please let me in?” He was already sprinting down to the hotel lobby.

“Of course, mi amor, I’ll be there.”

“Also, the last guy that bought me a drink was pissed that I was not coming home with him, until I said that I knew Sergio Perez really well. He said he would forgive me if you sent him an autograph. Do you think you could do that?” He laughed.

“Yeah baby, I can do that. Are you nearby? I’m in the lobby.”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.” You shrieked when you got to the hotel. “Okay, I’m here. Bye bye now!” You hung up the phone and practically jumped out of the car. Maybe you shouldn’t have drunk that last sex on the beach.

“Mi pastelito, you look gorgeous.” He smiled in appreciation. It’s true, you did look gorgeous, in your short dress that barely covered anything. You gave him a little spin.

“Thank you, baby, it got me so many free drinks!” He chuckled at that, even if he didn’t like the thought of other guys circling you like sharks. “Although maybe I should’ve toned it down, because if I wasn’t so drunk, I wouldn’t be here.” You sighed. He pulled you in a hug, and it was like coming home. It was like nothing had changed. The mistress was back.

“I’m glad you’re here, mi amor.” He kissed the top of your head. “Let’s go inside.”

You didn’t make it to the elevator before you were all over him. As soon as the doors closed, you were kissing him like a starved woman, which is what you were. You had cut him off your diet, but the craving was too strong. He made you sit on the handrail to get a better angle. This could have been a shot straight out of a porn movie, the way you were both desperate to touch the other, the sounds you made. Plus, an elevator scene is always a hit.

“I just missed you so much, baby. I can’t help loving you!” You said between kisses.

“That’s good, because I love you too.” The elevator doors opened. Thank God there wasn’t anyone else. He led to you to his hotel room, never breaking the kiss. Your lover was talented.

Once you were inside the room, he pushed you against the wall to stun you with kisses all over the skin your dress showed. So, basically everywhere on your body. You were already moaning.

“Baby, we have to think. We shouldn’t be doing this. We are supposed to stay away from each other, remember? I’m drunk, so I have an excuse, but you don’t!” He took his sweet time to answer you, as he was too busy marking you.

“It’s funny, I can’t remember anything, except that I love you. Oh well.” You protested weakly. His touch on your body after months apart felt too good for you to remember your morals. You forced him to remove his shirt. You still remembered the number one rule of being a mistress: never leave a mark. You were very careful not to scratch him, even if that’s all you wanted to do. You both made your way to the bed tangled with each other.

“I want to be on top of you, baby, so I can remember this moment. This is our last time, for real this time.” He sat against the headboard and let you straddle him.

“Mi pastelito, I don’t think there’ll ever be a last time when it comes to you and me.” You shut him up by removing your dress. He looked you up and down lovingly. “I missed this, mi amor. You’re way too beautiful for your own good.” He made you blush.

“Thank you, baby.” You started to move on top of him. He gripped your waist to help you move while kissing you. Oh, your affair was so back, whether you wanted it or not.

When he started to unzip his pants, you suddenly remembered one tiny detail.

“After I dumped my boyfriend, I stopped taking the pill. I know it sucks, but do you have a condom?” Sergio shook his head.

“No, mi amor, I was not expecting you to come here, I don’t have anything.”

A big neon sign with the word DANGER flashed in your head, but stupid drunk you decided to ignore it. Having him again was just too good.

“I’m clean, so that’s okay. But we’ll have to be really careful!” He nodded.

“I’m clean too. I’ll pull out, it’s going to be okay.” He started to make you move on top of him again. You continued kissing him. The sign still flashed in your head.

After that, things got hot very quickly. When he got inside of you, you couldn’t help but scream his name everytime he moved. You started to breathe rapidly. Still, you were watching him to make sure he really did pull out. You were already in a big enough mess, adding to it was unnecessary.

“Baby, I swear, I’m going to come very soon.” He was too busy pleasing you to comment, but he did make grunting noises. Why did you two every stopped seeing each other again?

Only a short while later, when you were arching your back, you had your orgasm. It was heavenly. You fell lifelessly against his shoulder, and your guard slipped. You heard him finish inside of you at that exact moment. You gasped, and immediately tried to get off him.

“Oh no, this is bad, like really bad.” He realized his mistake.

“I really tried, I swear!” You weren’t listening to him. You were too busy freaking out.

“I have to... I have to go!” You were scrambling to get dressed. He was freaking out too, more by the fact that you were preparing to leave him once again.

“Mi amor, calm down! It’s going to be fine! At least stay the night, we'll deal with it in the morning!” He was desperately trying to get you to stay.

You were putting on your shoes. “I’m really sorry, but I have to go.” You hadn’t noticed, but you were crying. “This was a mistake. It won’t happen ever again!” You got out of the hotel room. He tried to chase you, but you were running down the hallway, and you were surprisingly fast, even with how much you had drunk.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror in the elevator, you had mascara tears running down your cheeks. You were nothing but an illicit affair. You saw nothing but the other woman in your reflection. This was your Black Swan moment.

[satubby]

[Once upon a dream: When I loved you]

[Once upon a dream, where I saw you sleeping in my arms, I'm starting to forget what loneliness is, my beautiful human baby... Child of man, is this what you call love? If so, I'm afraid of losing you and this feeling. —Malleus Draconia ]

Disclamer: I was listening to my usual music and I don't know why but YouTube recommended old songs that I gave a like to, so among them was One Upon a Dream, which led me to rewatch the 2014 Live Action based on Maleficent. and from there to doing this, anyway I'm sorry if there are spelling mistakes and as such I'm sorry if the characters in Diasomnia look like those in Oc I haven't played in a long time and I left the fandom due to lack of time and interest.

[This writing will have 2 parts, the second I will be thinking about how to do it and if it will have Lana del Rey's song, this time I put Cinderella's song, I'm sorry lol!]

It was a rainy night, a woman escaped from her pursuers and was carrying her baby in her arms. "Catch that bitch! She deserves to be punished for witchcraft!" 

The strange and mysterious woman ran faster than before when she heard the scream of those guards. How did she end up like this? She wondered, not long ago she was a happy woman, the prince loved her as she loved him, yet his stepmother the dowager empress, discovered her elven blood, which was considered blasphemy. She never asked to be singled out, even her pregnancy was a constant danger. 

From where did it all go wrong? It wasn't her fault or her baby in arms that the human world hates magical beings given how greedy they are, especially noble ones like her stepmother who called her a bastard abomination. 

Arinet, bastard daughter of the duke belonging to the south and daughter of a winter elf, was now nothing more than a heretic cursed and hated for the blood that ran in her veins. And she blamed herself for being foolish to believe that the dowager empress and her own stepmother would not conspire to ruin her romance with the crown prince.

Crying she coos trying to calm you down you in her arms, her precious baby, in tears she gave you one last kiss as she continued to run away from the gunfire coming from the archers and the duke's mages, falling down a through a snowy well, she smiled for the last time and left you hidden from the hunters who followed her, if she died it would not be with you, so she said goodbye crying and with the little strength in her feet, she ran despite her ankle pierced by the tip of the arrow shot before. 

Malleus was walking through the dreary paths of his forest full of thorns and dry trees covered with seasonal snow, it was another dull morning and the old black dragon, prince of fairies and dragons, was bored. When was the last time this forest had anything interesting beyond its creatures fearing him? He doesn't remember, yet his thoughts are broken when he hears a cry, more precisely, the cry of a small human baby, an offspring of man. Then his bare feet on the cold snow traversed like a dance in the snow, walking towards you he approached your basket, taking you from it curiously but awkwardly, whoever put you there did not measure the coldness of his forest, he was unaffected given his nature and body, Malleus was already warm on his own. 

Emerald eyes narrow slightly at the sight of you. He carefully and lightly touches your cheek with one of his sharp nails, accidentally giving you a scratch so he uses his magic to heal it. He've never seen a baby up close before, the ones he saw were many, different and weirder, but you're even more so given that human nature of yours. And him have no idea how to handle the situation. He lifts you up to his eye level... you look pretty upset about being out in the cold and he doesn't blame you for it, even your tender cotton cheeks were ruddy. 

"I wonder... What exactly are you? The humans I know are bigger than you." Malleus mutters under his breath as he looks towards you still trying to be careful. He can sense that you have a special thing, in fact he smells traces of magic on you, but that confuses him even more as to why you, a frail, human little thing of all things... are in the woods in the middle of the cold. 

Curiosity filled his being as he looked at you, you a small being resting in his big arms, sleeping as if he were not the dominant creature in this territory. He was confused. You are a human baby so... small that you could easily be killed by accident, could this little thing be so cute? As far as he knew, humans are ungraceful or so he was told, plus the fact that he has killed some fools daring to enter his lands. He gently used a finger to touch your little nose. So cute you looked! He was also intrigued. Why did they leave you, so small and vulnerable in their forest? And alone, with no one to hold and care for you. You would become food for vultures or some other monster very quickly.

Malleus looked around looking for the human responsible who has left you abandoned, however instead his nose detected a smell of iron and acrid mixed with traces of magic.... It was blood of the child of man, so walking with you, even if clumsily, he cradles you in his arms they go towards the place where the trail was, strangely on the way you didn't cry, in fact, you even fell asleep comfortably.

Normally everyone is afraid of him, although it is normal given his status but that makes him socially awkward and lonely, maybe that's why he unconsciously clung to you. Malleus then arrives at the place where that iron smell came from, finding the corpse of your mother, a beautiful woman but... The old dragon prince notices that she was stabbed several times and until her last minutes of life she fought. In addition there were traces of magic thrown, from elves more specifically although it does not give him so much importance; he bends down and takes a sample of blood, licking it from the snowy ground— This woman had Mana, like you, so he assumed it was your mother as you had the same bracelet as the woman as well as the same smell of that magic.

Malleus stares at the deceased woman with? something like a sad look in his vibrant green eyes. You moan slightly with a groan as you stir, but go back to sleep a few minutes later. Malleus' long tail wags behind him as he thinks, frowning slightly. He looks down at you in his arms, then at the strange looking woman, she has white hair and apparently blue eyes, plus somewhat pointed ears. Malleus knelt down next to her lifeless corpse, carefully analyzing the bracelet, it had elvish letters which read: "The eternal and pure shall remain, the evil and impure must be purged" And honestly he didn't understand what the engraving meant, so he just leaves it there. 

"A human mother and daughter abandoned in the forest.... Who would do such a heartless thing...?" His gaze hardens as he look around the area, trying to find any clues left behind, but there was nothing. He looks closely at the wounds on the body and notices every feature your mother shared with you, from the lips to your beauty, he couldn't help but be distracted from his goal. 

"She died protecting you, little daughter of man.... Now I understand her determination and strength. If I'm honest, she was no ordinary human, too bad that led to her cruel fate." Malleus gently touches your cheek wiping the drool running from your lips, you were still asleep.

There was a mixture of curiosity and a strange sense of melancholy in the eyes of the ancient being. His eyes sparkled as he recognized the faint traces of mana lingering in the air, mixed with the unmistakable scent of mingled human and elven blood, definitely the children of man were hard for the old dragon to comprehend.

"What a waste. A mortal life, snuffed out by the callousness of other humans."

He spoke softly, almost wistfully, his voice tinged with a touch of what seemed like sadness, though he did not understand it. He stood thoughtfully for a moment, then, sighing, he closes his eyes to the woman's corpse and with his green magic breath, casts a living flame that burns away all traces of your dead mother.

"Rest in peace daughter of man and nature, I will take care of your human baby." 

Then he withdraws with you in his arms, he doesn't know much about humans, in fact he hasn't even seen one in 400 years, yet his curiosity and compassion made him act like that [perhaps the fact that you, a small and fragile thing, managed to move something in him beyond indifference and boredom] Then he saw you sleeping, he smiled softly.... What a curious little thing you were.

Upon arriving at his castle, he was greeted by Lilia, his guardian and close friend, as a father figure to Malleus even though he is already an adult in dragon terms.

 Lilia approached smiling and playful, although he noticed the bundle in Malleus' arms, as a father figure and royal advisor, he was curious.... How unusual for his little Malleus. "Oh, I see you brought something interesting from the forest, hehehe, tell me, did lonely little Malleus get bored with himself and decide to bring a little human?" Lilia teased, however Malleus just snorted smiling at his advisor and guardian, still holding you in his arms.

The prince of Briar Valley had chuckled quietly at Lilia's comment as he walked carefully towards him, his expression was calm and the tail dragon wagged back and forth behind Malleus himself, revealing his mood. Lilia always teased him when he was bored with his normal routine.

"Hm, this... 'little human' was abandoned in the forest by her mother, I thought she would surely become dinner for a wandering monster. I was also curious to know what human cubs are like, I see they are fragile to be greedy when they reach adulthood."

Malleus mutters under his breath, his eyes moving quickly to look at the baby again as he sleeps soundly in his arms.

Lilia was really surprised, normally his little Mall showed no interest in anything and was very socially awkward, but here he was hugging you, a small and fragile little thing. Lilia fell from the ceiling of the throne room, like an ingratiating acrobat he sat up and then sighed the veteran fairy, speaking earnestly before his king and pupil. 

"Your Majesty, you know that raising another living being, especially a human, who is different from us in terms of biology and growth, is not easy at all so tell me your highness? Do you really plan to raise that human baby, YOU who barely even know about them, beyond the times they have tried to invade our lands? I really sometimes don't know what you think Mall" Lilia sighed looking seriously at the dragon, Malleus lifted you up in the air looking at you still sleeping, you looked so... soft and tender. You would be a beautiful girl. Mall raised an eyebrow at Lilia for his comments. 

"I am perfectly aware of that, Lilia. A fairy and a human child... a combination that I know very well will take time to understand..... She is more resilient than you think. But I cannot leave this baby alone, she was abandoned by her own mother. Such a cruel fate for an offspring of man." 

His eyes shifted down to look at you as your small body shifted restlessly in his arms, sighing again, he cradles you in his arms once more. Malleus smiles softly.

Lilia sighed again, smiling and shrugging his shoulders surrendering to the blackhaired prince's stubbornness. He then walked over to you to look at you, you were certainly pretty, though as Malleus said, you had magic that was rare in humans, so Lilia asked his king and pupil, "Malleus, tell me something, do you know what it's like to raise a human? The consequences of it are something with variables and they age fast, besides you are sure to do it, from what you told me his mother had magic.... What did she look like, eyes and hair color?" 

The dragon did not understand at first as he was dense at times, but then he understood what she meant, Lilia was asking the race of that human, if she was one and she certainly was not— Your mother was a half elf, a very beautiful one with white hair and blue eyes, perhaps that is why she was killed and in a desperate attempt to protect you both, she ran to her lands seeking to return home. So far he was able to piece together conjectures, his density and disinterest sometimes blinded him.

Malleus thought for a moment, studying your face, trying to find any resemblance you might have to your mother beyond your features but you looked more human. The old dragon prince hummed thoughtfully before finally speaking.

"She... was a half elf if I am correct. Her hair was soft and like a white flake.... Plus her eyes were a beautiful light blue color. But she also had magic, as strong as she may have been, the poor woman was outnumbered and killed for unknown reasons."

He looks towards you who were still sleeping once more as he spoke, his eyes soft as he recalls the memory of the woman.

Lilia analyzes the situation and then asks one more question. "How do you plan to take care of her? Sooner or later she will have to return to her homeland, is that okay with you? You know that the magical races and humans have accomplished nothing together for centuries and their traces of disdain still remain? So, be honest, my dear prince, how long do you plan to keep her here? Surely sooner or later you will get bored."

Lilia saw Malleus' expression, there were many emotions clashing and the veteran fairy smiled, he just needed a little push and Lilia would be sure that his beloved ward would understand the implications of this... What would Malleus do, the ever shy dragon monarch and the one who longs to know human emotions and humans themselves?

Malleus looked conflicted as he listened to Lilia's question. He knew there was tension between the races and he also knew it would be difficult for you to return home after being raised here. But him simply could not allow you to suffer, you were innocent. His green eyes shifted from Lilia to you, a small frown on his face debating his decisions.

"I'm... not entirely sure. If he goes home, I'm worried he'll never fit in with his own people.... And if he stays here, will he have a happy life?"

Lilia smiled and honestly, it wasn't bad that his beloved monarch and prince for once longed to have something, whether he was aware of it or not, that's why Lilia asked such a question. He wanted to see how far his pupil's interest would go. Would it be temporary or could you, a fragile little thing, really awaken something more in the bored and shy prince of thorns? The mere thought excited the former Fae.

Malleus let out a soft sigh as he lifted you closer to his chest, your small face was warm and soft to the touch, that little body fit perfectly like a puzzle piece in his arms. He felt something in his heart that wasn't there before as he looked at you, a strange feeling of responsibility, of protection, maybe even a hint of affection? He wasn't sure, he had never been close to a baby before, let alone a human like you were. 

"I don't want her to suffer the same fate as her mother..."

Lilia clapped his hands and smiled, there was a long way to go. "Very well Your Highness, let's learn about humans and especially about their offspring, breeding and feeding!" 

That afternoon Malleus was educated on what things they should and should not eat, down to the basic necessities. Malleus wrote everything down in his mind and would then apply it even though he still had doubts.

Malleus listened attentively as Lilia explained things, taking detailed notes in his mind of everything he told him. He was a fast learner and quickly remembered every detail. As Lilia spoke, the dragon prince gently ran a finger across your forehead, gently stroking the baby skin with an expression of slight amazement on his face. In a little over a year you will be able to walk, talk and think. Malleus couldn't believe how wonderful humans could be .... Or was it that you were just a unique baby?

And over the next few days Malleus did all sorts of things that no one would think possible coming from his royal highness and mighty dragon, but there he was changing diapers. "No! Be careful, don't you see? You're irritating her skin, though it's rare that she doesn't cry from your rough touch, anyway, look at tying a diaper!" Lilia pushed Malleus aside and changed your clothes, playing a little with you, making you laugh, but this was a simple provocation on the fairy's part, he wanted to see how Malleus would react to this and indeed, the dragon became jealous of his former tutor. 

Lilia turned as he saw Malleus' green eyes glowing, after finishing your change of clothes, he handed you over to the dark prince. "I assure you that you will improve with time and practice as I won't always be here!" 

Malleus watched as Lilia deftly changed your diaper, baby laughter filled the room as the old fae made you laugh. The dragon was a little puzzled to see Lilia do something with such ease, he even felt a little jealous for some reason, as he wanted to make you laugh too, but you just looked at him curiously. He let out a small snort as Lilia handed you over, looking at you and studying your face again, he was still clumsy in grabbing you. 

"TSK! TSK! Look how stiff you are, you should carry her more gently" The fae scolded his monarch and prince who grumbled like a child pouting softly. 

"I'm a fast learner, Lilia. Don't underestimate me..."

Lilia scoffed with laughter, his little Malleus was really cute in his own way [Of course if Lilia wasn't aware of his immense influence and power] At the dragon prince's frown, Lilia playfully apologized and raised his hands in peace. 

"I know, my dear prince, but you must be careful! You wouldn't want the little one to cry, would you? Well, leaving that aside, come to think of it, you haven't given her a name have you, you, do you want to give her one?" Lilia noted this, for several weeks now you had been called 'Child of Man' or 'Little Human' and if the Fae were honest, they can't always call you that, names are important though given Malleus' own obliviousness, he hadn't even noticed until his advisor and former guardian pointed it out to him. 

The fae-dragon sighed, squeezing into his embrace and widening his eyes in confusion when Lilia pointed that out. You would definitely need to be given a name of your own, and they couldn't always call you the man's daughter... or little girl. 

"Hm, I guess you're right... what do humans normally call their children? I don't want to accidentally give it a name that has an unfavorable meaning..."

Malleus was somewhat (perhaps too much) unaware and sometimes his naivety with humans or other races that are not dragons or Faes, are unknown to him (either in customs, ways of acting or physiology). Leaving aside that sometimes he himself prince was carried away by rumors or experiences of his own. "I don't know, but what do you think.... (T/N), sounds nice, means timeless and infinite." Advised the old Fae as Malleus looked at you, you were playing with his fingers sticking them into your mouth.

Malleus hummed curiously as he listened to Lilia's suggestion, raising his hand to gently touch the top of your head, letting you cling to his fingers as he continued to think... the name '(T/N)', sounds good... he thought. Then he looked at you, watching you play innocently with his fingers as you looked at the old dragon.

"(T/N)... (T/N)... yeah, yeah, that sounds pretty good..... (T/N), then."

That day Malleus finally gave you a name, which would be one of the first signs that his curiosity would turn into love and love into obsession.

It had been 5 years, for Malleus this was nothing, as he sometimes has long periods of sleep (of course Lilia would wake him up to avoid sleeping more) Otherwise your growth would be lost and since Malleus loves you too much, the prince of Briar Valley did not want to miss anything about you, that included your growth stages.

"She do grow up fast, I can hardly remember what her was like yesterday!" Lilia complained dramatically but Malleus, who was drinking his tea, put down his cup and smiled softly as he watched you play in the garden. From large your beauty was remarkable, unbeknownst to you, you made more than just the barren thorn garden bloom in his heart. 

Malleus smiled slightly as he watched you play in the garden, admiring the way you made the normally withered and barren garden come alive with your presence. He had certainly grown fonder of you over the past few years, watching you grow and learn new things always made him smile. He looked at Lilia with a loving smile on his face.

"In fact, Lilia... it seems like only yesterday that I found her in the forest... now she's growing with each passing day."

Lilia put his hands under his chin, watching you play and make wreaths, it's been a while since Briar Valley had this warm and colorful atmosphere. "Don't you think humans are kind of interesting and chaotic? By the way, our little girl will soon be 6 years old, what do you plan to do? The past years you gave her many a gift, but oh my little Mall! Remember that unicorn you gave her didn't even last because your jealousy won the battle?, poor creature, they ran as soon as you came angry at them" He chuckled, in the end Malleus was attached to his dragon nature more than his Fae half, as much as this one wanted to deny it. 

The prince of Briar Valley let out a small snort at the memory. He had indeed become jealous of the unicorn, and it wasn't the only time either.... Every time you got a new toy or friend from the animal world, he got so possessive that he couldn't help it. He sighed. silently as he thought for a moment before responding....

"Hm, I'm actually very aware of my little human birthday... like you said though, this time I want to do something special for her, but I have no idea what to give her."

The old fae laughed and responded with another question to the dragon prince's confusion. "And what do you think you can give him this time? It can't be something living or something non-living, since you get jealous over anything, like the time you 'accidentally' burned one of her favorite toys with your fire because it took her attention away from you." Lilia fiddled with the fork and Malleus coughed his tea, avoiding looking at the fae who teased him about his extreme behaviors. 

Since he was just processing centuries of emotional numbness and you were the one who awakened those experiences and emotions in him, it was difficult for him not to go to such extremes. 

The black-haired man snorted at Lilia's words as he looked away. It was true that he was extremely possessive of you and would get jealous of anything that caught your attention.... But he couldn't help it. The dragon sighed softly and closed his eyes, crossing his arms as he thought for a moment about a solution to this.

"Hm... How about... a new toy, but only she can touch it? Sounds like a good solution, doesn't it?" Malleus asked thinking it would be ideal but Lilia made a face almost as if to say 'Are you seriously thinking about that?' and answers him with another question.

"How are you sure you're not going to burn it or destroy it? It's funny to a point that you destroy his stuff out of jealousy, but (T/N) he doesn't find it funny. I have an idea! How about you take it to the meadow mmm? Flowers are beautiful and safe, you can't get jealous if they are symbols of love. You know, you always keep her cooped up here, the royal garden is beautiful and the castle too, but remember, kids are curious and like to explore, you used to do that when you were a little lizard." 

Malleus sighed, shaking his head and ignoring the ramblings of Lilia who boasted about how beautiful and tender the dragon prince was before he grew up. On the other hand, you approached towards them smiling and showing a butterfly in your hand.

 "Tsunotarou, look how pretty them is; although their wing was broken, but I repaired it!" You laughed, peeking out from the table with your small stature. Malleus looked at you smiling anyway and lifting you in his hands, you were just as small as when you were a baby but you were growing faster than expected. Either that, or it was just his abnormal perception of time. 

The Fae-dragon looked at you, his bright emerald eyes shining with pride as you showed him the butterfly. He couldn't help but smile broadly when he saw your enthusiasm and laughter. He always loved the way you looked when you were happy.

"Hm, it looks quite beautiful. You did a good job with the wing, it broke before..." He says complimenting your little acts of love for others though a bit jealous of that butterfly. He then lifts you up in his arms, hugging you like he does all the time. The dragon loved you as much as you loved him.

Lilia laughs internally, his enigmatic gaze analyzing the situation, only in time would Malleus accept his possessive and territorial side, Lilia would be sure to witness it. "Aww~ our princess is a saintess!" Lilia teased in her cheesy tone, then pressed her lips together mockingly as if she wanted to give you a duck kiss, you on the other hand laughed avoiding his lips as he began to chase you away from Prince Briar's embrace. Malleus looked at you and smiled though the vein in his forehead and neck said something more than simple elegance, jealousy, raw as poisonous. 

́Maybe I should break his neck and cut his legs off? ́ thought the Fae Dragon, but he restrained himself from those possessive and murderous fantasies, on the other hand Lilia felt a look on the back of his neck imagining that his pupil and monarch It was almost drilling his head (figuratively), in a way it was funny. 

 "AH!!! yuck, I don't want your kisses uncle Lilia, they're slimy and I hate it when you pinch my cheeks!" You exclaim, snapping Malleus out of his thoughts as Lilia caught you and you tried to push him away while laughing.

"Come on, just one little kiss! And can you blame me? You're so cute" The old fae squeezed you in his arms. Malleus felt a small twinge of discomfort in his chest as he watched Lilia try to give you a kiss, the dragon fae clenched his jaw slightly and his fists clenched into fists of fury.

"Lilia... Fuck!"

He muttered under his breath, looking at the two of them and keeping his feelings under control. Malleus again refused, it wasn't right to be jealous, he wouldn't give his advisor the pleasure of seeing him in such a state let alone losing control. 

So he represses his emotions once again, causing Lilia to look at him out of the corner of her eye and sighs, releasing you from his arms. "How boring you are! Well, anyway, I have to go, I need to check the barrier on the moor, what was it...like 200 years ago? Yeah, I haven't seen the state of it in 200 years.... I'm off then, have fun my children, bye bye bye!" Lilia smiled saying goodbye as the door closed, you on the other hand walked up to Malleus taking his hand.

"Tsunotarou... Were you upset? You know Uncle Lilia is like that, by the way I made you this crown! I hope you like it" Malleus looked sideways at you and blushed, coughing in embarrassment at your tenderness, he bent down to your height so you could put it on his head. The rose wreath, although twisted by its awkward horns, was still beautiful to look at. However, it was cute to see how your delicate little hands went out of their way to give him such a gift.

Malleus looked at you, his mood changing almost immediately as he saw your expression. He couldn't help the laughter that came from his pale but beautiful lips as he watched you try to put the crown on his head, but fail miserably as his horns got in the way of said task. He chuckled softly as he gently took the crown and put it on perfectly as he bent down and ruffled your hair.

"Thank you, he's lovely, as always... I won't get mad at Lilia, he's like that with everyone, but promise me you won't leave room for his jokes ok?"

"Yep! I won't let uncle bully me with his jokes anymore" You laughed once more, clapping your hands and with innocent grace, you hugged his neck giving him a kiss on his pale cheeks making Malleus blush once more that you would almost swear steam was coming out of his ears. So much so that his emotions affected the atmosphere of the whole valley, you saw how the gardens grew more roses and out of nowhere butterflies or birds appeared. 

Because of your innocence, you were frightened to see him so red, thinking you had done something wrong. "Tsunotarou is red because of me, now he has a fever!" You began to cry with worry in your girlish eyes, as you noticed earlier how hot he had become because of your actions, but you didn't know what triggered that.

Malleus looked surprised, his eyes widened at your innocent and adorable way of looking at the situation. He let out a small scoff and chuckled under his breath, he always forgot how innocently cute you were and how your naive personality embarrassed him most of the time.

"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong, it's okay...I'm fine, you're just too cute and beautiful my precious princess" He said softly as he stroked your back, trying to calm your crying as he blushed a little from embarrassment.

"Eh? ... Then why are you red? If you don't have a fever, maybe it's another illness? I don't want you to be sick, Tsunotarou!" You were still sad and worried but you weren't crying so much anymore, much to her relief. 

Malleus sighed, lifting you up in his arms and sitting you on his lap, then wiped away the excess tears by kissing your chubby little girl cheeks pulling them as a game and a little reprimand.

"That hurts, a lot Tsunotarou."

He smiled at your innocence and how you so quickly assumed he was sick because of his red face, he was a little amused that you couldn't see the underlying reason he was embarrassed rather than sick. A small chuckle escaped his pale lips when you complained at how hard he pulled on your cheeks, then he sat you on his lap as he stroked your head talking softly. 

"No, no, I'm not sick... it's much simpler than that, little girl."

The prince/monarch smiled at you once again saying how tender and beautiful you were in his eyes and that's why he was embarrassed when you did such tender acts.

"Am I pretty? But Sebek says I smell like a dirty human, but I don't know what that is. He always criticizes me, the other time he scolded me for accidentally knocking down one of your paintings in the office, he also says humans are ugly, does that mean I'm ugly and stinky?" your tender and gullible eyes made Malleus swallow bile, mostly because of what you were telling him, sometimes your tenderness and naivety reminded him of himself. 'Sebelk, that idiot' he thought to himself, cursing his loyal friend and self-proclaimed knight, though to Malleus Sebek was an annoying zealot.

The prince of Briar Valley shook his head and sighed softly. Yes, Sebek tended to say things he shouldn't say in front of you. And yes, he was also an absolute fanatic who was too loyal to him, sometimes not even liking his attitude because of how loud and restless he got. 

"No, you're not ugly, you're beautiful... in fact, you're the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen in my life... and ignore what Sebek says, because he's a brat who talks too much..."

And speaking of the devil, he will come! Sebek knocked on the door, although it didn't do much good as he ended up whipping it anyway, mostly to warn of his presence.

"MALLEUS-SAMA!!!" Both you and the aforementioned covered your ears at Sebek's cries and his following praise, the Prince of Thorns had to silence him before he gave any more speech about how he is the most perfect among dragons that ever lived.

"Ahem! As I was saying I brought breakfast because honestly Lilia-sama is horrible at cooking, and I also wanted to tell you that Silver will be away for a week and is still dealing with the demons in the troll pit." After that introduction, Sebek served everything with grace and- Perhaps too much perfection; even Malleus was sweating with embarrassment from his eyes with imaginary stars staring at him, sometimes Sebek was too overwhelming.

Sighing as he looked at Sebek and rolling his eyes at the green haired dragon's strong presence, the half-dragon fae let out a small snort as he listened to the strong praise and watched how hard Sebek tried to please him as he fed him breakfast. As he watched Sebek kneel on the ground after finishing with the table and the plates with food, Mall let out a small scoff.

"Very well, thank you, Sebek... you may go, I'm sure Silver will need help handling the demons in the pit..." He said, trying to get rid of him so that he would stop being too overwhelming; and be able to continue chatting with you without the stalker-like vigilance of the green-haired one. 

"Your highness... You're telling me you don't want me here? WHAT AN HONOR TO HAVE YOUR DISGUSTING TOWARDS ME, MALLEUS-SAMA!! YOU CAN EVEN TREAD ON ME IF YOU WANT, I WOULD LOVE TO BE YOUR RUG FOR WHATEVER—" The Green-haired's cries of adoration ceased as Malleus swung his black claw and pulled him out of the garden and into the castle hallway. Still, the young dragon's cries could be heard. You laughed so hard at Sebek's own witticisms that the black-haired fae's bad mood was relieved.

"Sebek is funny, even though he's always nagging me..." You pout as Malleus smiles at you burying his face in your baby neck.

He sighs again as he hears Sebek's ramblings and praise in the background, letting out a small scoff. He chuckled under his breath when he heard you laugh, nodded and agreed with you.

"I know, he's a jerk... but at least he's a loyal jerk, I guess..." Whispered the fae as he wrapped his arms around you once more, burying his head in your small shoulder, enjoying your scent that reminded him of fresh roses.

Days later Malleus took you flying through the forest as it was like your birthday present, as you laughed in his arms, the first spring breeze hit your delicate face, Malleus spread his draconic wings taking you even higher in the air to enjoy the view without actually stepping on solid ground. He won't admit it but he doesn't want something else to catch your attention and make you want to go out more often. Your hands caress a cloud and the black-haired man sees you laugh which makes him happy. 

 "This is the best birthday ever!!!! Thank you Tsunotarou" Your eyes looked at him and at that moment it was just the two of you, something in Malleus started to resonate it was like a: 'Badump! Badump!' ...It was the beating of his heart that echoed in his ears, for the first time he knew what that was, the feeling longed for millennia and jealous of those who could feel it and experience it but now he finally felt it. You were the reason? He wondered, but at that moment he didn't care, he just closed his eyes letting himself go while holding you in his arms.

Malleus watched you with a fond smile on his face as he saw the way your eyes sparkled when the breeze hit your face, happily observing how you were thrilled by small things like clouds. He chuckled softly as he watched you laugh at the simple joy of being in heaven....

"Of course, of course... Anything for my little daughter of man..."

His eyes closed as he embraced you, feeling the gentle beat of his heart flutter in his chest, his heart beating for the first time in centuries like butterflies in full spring. 

This moment was precious and although Malleus is not normally greedy, with you it is another case, he wants to have you and make you happy just like you do with your simplicity and innocence, his beautiful sleeping beauty.... The tulip in his garden of thorns.

"Tsunotarou! Look there— Is that me!!!? Woah, what a beautiful garden" Malleus smiled again seeing you excited, this is the special gift for you, in this forest there is a beautiful portrait made with so many flowers of so many colors and froms the air you can see it. So he wanted you to see how much he would give and do for you, for your smile and the feelings you make him feel, for what you are and represent in his life. 

He tilted his head to look at the portrait of the flowering garden in question, a small smile on his face as he watched the colors come together and form a beautiful image from above. A small chuckle escaped his lips as he listened to you speak, his ears twitching at the way you seemed to be getting more and more excited.

"It's beautiful... Do you want me to take you and take a closer look at it, little one?" he said, flying a little lower now so he could take you there and let you see the flowers up close.

You both descended and immediately ran through the fields of flowers, like a princess in his eyes, the prince and wizard Fae-Dragon, moved his hands making your dress turn white as snow and floral decorations grew from it, then he made you float. and dance in the air as you laughed.

"LOUDER!!! YAY! WHAT FUN" The prince of Briar Valley continued to wiggle his fingers and watched you float away, then he pulled you close to his face and their noses touched, the magic was removed and with a kiss on your forehead, you fell asleep. Malleus had long since ceased to feel alone, much less hated and feared, only loved by the simplicity of a human, his human.

At the end of your birthday, the prince of thorns tucked you into your bed and before you went to sleep, you gave a thank you. "Thank you for everything Tsunotarou.... Good night." 

Your smile faded as you slept, Malleus Sighed, leaving the room and walking to his own, the cold corridors smelled of wet earth and nature, his footsteps echoed against the aged stone until he reached the black door. The creaking reminded him of the years that passed and he never aged, his physical age stopped at his seventeen years. Upon entering, Malleus removed his clothes and then sank his body into the soft feather bed, his green eyes wandering to a shelf; There were all those gifts that to others are cheap trinkets made by the innocent hand of a girl like you, but to the Dragon Fae it was more than that, it felt special to receive them from the one he loved.

Malleus sat on the end of his bed for a second, his thoughts wandering as he looked at the items on the shelf. He couldn't help but feel warmth and happiness in his chest as he looked at the little trinkets... it brought a small smile to his face as he thought about how much happiness you brought him....

He lay fully back on the bed, resting his head on the pillows and pulling the covers over his shoulders, closing his eyes and letting the dreams take him soon....

And who knew that that nap of his would make the future of both of them turbulent, because Malleus fell into another one of his hibernations, besides, without anyone to wake him up with anti-sleep magic, he wouldn't be there for you. Lilia, Silver and Sebek would take a maximum of 4 months to return, the vast territory of the royal family of dragons and fairies had to be constantly supervised by many nobles and among them were the three close to Malleus. 

After waking up, you went to look for him and excited, you opened his door running towards him and climbed into his soft, padded bed but Malleus was still asleep, even so you decided to move and pull his cheeks, talk to him or yell at him. but nothing happens, he still does not respond.

"Tsunotarou? Come on it's already daytime! it's not funny.... Ugh! Don't scare me, come on, wake up already! You're going to make me mad... Humm!" You started to hit him on the cheeks, You even lifted his eyelids but as soon as you removed your fingers they closed again and still it didn't work and you couldn't use your magic since it only worked on plants and to heal wounds. "I have another idea! I'll look for uncle Lilia, he might wake you up" Jumping out of bed you leave the royal room and head to your own, preparing your backpack to go in search of the old fae.

It was your first time out of the castle, you were scared and the monsters terrify you, but as Uncle Lilia once said, "Never forget to be protected, if you wear a dragon scale, no monster or weirdo will attack you given our essence! So don't forget to take one, even Mall would be happy to give it to you". And that's what you did, as Malleus wouldn't wake up even if you removed a black scale from his tail, so you would use it as a toll and scare the monsters away.

A while after walking, you ended up lost. Since you have never left the castle unless Malleus or another fae (except Silver, from what Sebek said, he is a human like you.) guides you, you would get lost on your own and that happened. Now you didn't know where to go.

"Phew, wasn't this the way? Maybe I should go back, but... Why are there three paths? I don't know anymore! I'm lost!". You cried in frustration and continue walking, if Malleus would complain about anything, it's your pride and stubbornness.

It wasn't long after you left the castle that you still couldn't find the right path. Unfortunately, without high-ranking magic, you were doomed from the start to get lost if this happened, especially since Malleus would normally be guiding you.

The dark wood were mostly silent, a few crickets chirping could be heard. Even your footsteps echoed and you didn't even want to think about other unknown sounds because it made you nervous and afraid. But the sounds of the crickets soon faded away, leaving you in silence as the sound of rustling leaves added to the sound of your beautiful magical sandals made of flowers and wood. Suddenly, a soft glow caught your attention.

You had reached the end of the forest and the sun was about to set, you were apparently in a part where the barrier of magical flowers and thorns was weaker, you also had the scale of Malleus in your possession, so when you followed the path fleeing from the darkness; the thorns and bushes parted, allowing you to pass as you sensed the magic in that scale inside your bag. The fresh air greeted you, you smiled believing that you would return to the castle but it was not so, as you barely took a few steps, a carriage passed by you and the person stopped to look at you, it was a humble peasant. 

"Umm hey little girl, what are you doing on this side of the road? You don't know it, but there are ugly monsters roaming around."

"I don't know sir, but who are you and what are your names? I'm (T/N) and I'm looking for my uncle Lilia, I must wake up Tsunotarou or else he will sleep too much, so he won't be able to play with me" Facing your naivety, the farmer smiles and invites you to come up. 

Since Lilia never explained to you about the dangers outside (thinking that because of Malleus' obsession with you, it would be impossible to escape) you continued talking to these strangers.

The farmer, as well as the person sitting in front with the horses, were both older adults, who were quite surprised to see a young girl like you wandering through the dark and dangerous forest with no parents or other people in sight, just you and the forest behind you.

They both see that you were hungry and tired, the farmer felt bad for you, nodding and smiling as they brought out some stale bread and water to let you eat something. The person in the wagon with the horses watched you intently. In the end you end up going out with them, not knowing that your innocence would bring chaos and that the carelessness of some would make many pay, even death will be a mercy rather than delayed suffering. 

And so 4 months had passed, in that time the 2 faes and Silver returned from their duties, when they entered they were surprised to see the palace so... silent.

 "Lilia-sama, I can't find the rambunctious human, I already searched every floor for her but there's no trace" Sebek said in alarm when even Lilia couldn't find you either. 

Silver then cried out in surprise and somewhat worried, Malleus was in a state of hibernation earlier than expected, as normally dragons sleep 100 years but since he is half fairy, this time is maximum 50 years and it also depends on Malleus himself.

"No way, damn it, what are we going to do? Hurry Silver, go and get some chains, I need to wake him up but we mustn't just blurt out the news, Sebek gather everyone you can and look for her!" Lilia ordered as she bit his fingers cursing his luck. Once Silver finished binding Malleus, the old Fae put spells on the chains to at least hold some of the strength the Fae dragon prince possesses. In the end Malleus awoke with magic and the anti-sleep potion.

Malleus, dazed, opened his eyes after being suddenly awakened from his sleep, his senses immediately sought your presence again. The first thing he felt were the chains and spells on him, which irritated him, and as soon as he saw Lilia, his senses went on guard.

"Lilia...! What are all those chains and where did she go (Y/N)" His voice was soft but demanding, his cold, sharp eyes looked at the old Fae in front of him. 

"First calm down Malleus, you are not in your five senses, I didn't think it would come to this but there was a mistake and we miscalculated your hibernation, so we left and 4 months passed. And sorry to tell you but (Y/N) is not here. I think she went out to look for me, from what the few creatures who saw her told me, I only know for sure that she left the magical forest and Briar Valley, heading for the human world, in that case we can't track her and the only one who can is Silver, so I sent him to look for her.. " 

Malleus listened to him in silence, his calm and gentle expression slowly twisting into something much darker as he took in what Lilia was saying in his mind.

"You mean to tell me that you all left the castle without waking me up or leaving someone to take care of her?" The Raven-haired fae's voice was cold, his usually calm tone now filled with silent anger about to explode as he stared at Lilia for a second.

"Didn't any of you think that leaving a young woman home alone would end up with something like this.."

Lilia sighed just as frustrated, his cheerful and youthful demeanor left behind by his deadly and bitter self. "Look Malleus, I couldn't calculate the variables, you were supposed to hibernate until February but it was earlier than planned, I think the anti-sleep potion affects something in your hibernation states." 

Lilia rubbed his nose septum in frustration. Malleus might have looked calm but his vacant stare and his vibrant emerald eyes with shrunken slits, said otherwise, he was overthinking everything. 

"Can't you calculate the variables? I'm sure you have more than experience in dealing with issues revolving around me. You should know that this was a situation that had the possibility of happening, Lilia!"

Malleus' tone darkened with anger, he was beginning to blame Lilia even though he knew it wasn't entirely her fault, knowing that it is also his for constantly manipulating his sleep states making himself more unpredictable when it came to hibernating. 

"She's going to be lost in a world that is cruel and uncaring... Who knows what has already happened in the last 4 months?"

Unfortunately for everyone and especially for Sebek, who interrupted them, receiving almost lethal green fire from Malleus narrowly burning the green-haired Fae but resulting in the burned wall and a prince who was still raging almost eager to release his dragon form, but Sebek caught their attention.

"Can you listen to me for a moment? As I said, I went to investigate and proudly I can say that this is the only thing he left..... I'm sorry Malleus-sama and Lilia-sama" Sebek bowed showing pieces of the torn dress the prince of Briar Valley had given you, and that infuriated Malleus more and from that anger he went to raw but horrible sadness, a silent one because the words got stuck in his throat and tears fell from his beautiful emeralds for eyes.

Malleus stared at the torn pieces of your dress, his eyes widening as the reality of the situation slowly hit him. A small trembling of his hand became noticeable, as his fists clenched tightly to where it hurt, his nails slowly digging into his own skin and drawing blood as he reared up savagely towards the Raven-haired fae taking the piece of cloth from him. 

"No... She is still out there, we must look for her, I must— I MUST LOOK FOR HER!! Ah..., Sorry for that, please leave a time me alone."

His voice came out as a halting whisper, as he slowly closed his eyes... taking in what had just happened; the reality of what he had lost, the reality that he had lost you... of all things, losing you to him and his draconic heart was very devastating.

Lilia said nothing at the scene of his beloved ward and prince/monarch, so both Sebek and he let his process it all and so for a few days Malleus locked himself in his room without coming out, falling back into an abyss of loneliness and silent rage.

In the days that followed your disappearance, Malleus mourned your absence, spending his days trapped in his room, talking to no one if he could help it and only looking at the pieces of your dress... the only thing he had left of you or your scent. 

The fae dragon spent most of his time pacing his room or sobbing on his bed sheets, crying his eyes out and hating himself for how he had handled things when he could have avoided them.

Mmmmmm

Mmmmmm

So this was love

Mmmmmm

So this was love

So this was what made life divine

I was glowing, mmmmmm

And now I know

And now I know

The key to all heaven was mine

My heart had wings, mmmmmm

And I could fly

I touched every star in the sky, but no more

So this was my miracle?

That I've been dreaming, that I've lost

Mmmmmm

Mmmmmm

So this was love, but I won't feel anything, anymore

[slut4evanpeters]

Pain Is Beauty

tate langdon x reader

song i recommend listening to: pretty when you cry by lana del rey

warnings: emotional manipulation, unhealthy relationships, angst, dark themes, obsession

word count: 1.1k

notes: oh my god this just flew out of me i cried so hard writing this oh my god

A faint smile tugged at his lips, dark and almost tender. He was close, his hand grazing your shoulder with a softness that felt like a trap, like the calm before the storm. His fingers brushed a tear from your cheek, the coldness of his skin seeping into you. “You look beautiful like this,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, the words thick with something you couldn’t quite name.

Your breath caught, heart aching under the weight of his gaze. You were exhausted, the fight, the tears, the endless cycle of pulling him close only to be pushed away. It all blurred together until you couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. And somehow, you knew, this was what he wanted, what he needed.

“Tate,” you managed, your voice barely a whisper. “Why do you… why do you like seeing me like this?”

He tilted his head, fingers drifting to brush a strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear with a tenderness that felt almost mocking. “Because,” he said slowly, “this is when I see you. All of you. No masks, no pretending. Just you… needing me.”

He leaned in closer, his breath warm across your skin, his voice dropping to a low murmur. “I think you’re beautiful when you cry, Y/N. When you hurt for me.” The words slipped from his mouth like poison wrapped in a lace bow, and you felt a shiver crawl down your spine.

He loved this. The anguish, the tears, the way you came undone under the weight of his presence. In his twisted mind, this was proof, this was devotion. And you felt it too, the way your heart clung to him, desperate to be the one to fill the empty, broken spaces inside him. But it was more than that. He had a power over you, one that kept pulling you back, even when every instinct screamed at you to run.

“Tate… I can’t keep doing this,” you whispered, voice cracking as another tear slipped down your cheek. You weren’t sure if you believed your own words, or if you even wanted to. Maybe you had already given too much of yourself to ever truly leave.

His smile softened, but his eyes gleamed with something dark, something that fed off your pain. “But you don’t want to stop, do you? You need me just as much as I need you.” He pulled you closer, his hand pressing against the side of your face, forcing you to meet his gaze. “It’s okay to love me like this, Y/N. It’s the only way anyone can.”

The words wound around your heart, tightening, binding you to him in ways you didn’t understand but couldn’t resist. He needed you to be this way raw, vulnerable, and utterly his. And you were afraid. Afraid of losing him, afraid of what it would mean to walk away. In some sick way, you knew he was right. No one would ever hold you the way he did, with a love that cut so deep it left scars.

You swallowed, your breath hitching as he leaned in closer, pressing his lips to the spot where your tears had left a damp trail on your cheek. “Do you love me, Y/N?” he murmured against your skin, his voice soft but laced with something that felt like a demand, a test. You knew that saying no would only push him further, would only deepen his need to prove himself.

“Yes,” you whispered, the word slipping out almost like a plea. “Yes, Tate, I love you.”

His expression shifted, a flicker of triumph crossing his face, the shadows in his eyes darkening. “Then show me,” he breathed, his grip tightening ever so slightly. There was something almost reverent in the way he watched you, as if your pain was proof of your love, as if each tear shed for him only solidified the bond between you.

“Tate…” your voice was a whimper now, broken, pleading. You wanted him to see the depths of your love, but you also wanted him to understand the pain he caused, the way his love tore at you, unraveling pieces of you that you were afraid you’d never get back.

He drew you closer, pressing his forehead to yours, his fingers sliding through your hair. “This is love, Y/N. The way you cry for me, the way you break for me… that’s what makes you mine.”

His words hung in the air, heavy, binding, sinking into your heart. You felt trapped, held in his grasp, both frightened and captivated by the depth of his darkness. You knew that this wasn’t love in the way you’d imagined it, in the way you wanted it to be. But it was Tate’s love, raw and unfiltered, and somehow, some part of you craved it as much as he did.

He kissed you, his lips pressing hard against yours, claiming, demanding, and you melted into him, letting yourself be swallowed by the weight of his touch. Your tears mingled with the kiss, his hands anchoring you to him as if he’d fall apart without you. And maybe he would. Maybe you were the one thing keeping him together, the only light he could see through his own darkness.

As the kiss broke, he pulled back, watching you with a gaze that burned, his thumb brushing another tear from your cheek. “You’re so beautiful when you cry,” he whispered again, a dark smile curving his lips. “Promise me you’ll never leave. That you’ll always be here, needing me, loving me like this.”

You hesitated, feeling the weight of his request, the chains tightening around your heart. You wanted to save him, to pull him into the light, but every time you tried, you felt yourself sinking deeper into his shadows. And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave.

“I promise,” you whispered, voice trembling as you met his gaze, letting him see the truth in your eyes, the devotion that held you captive. His smile softened, a flicker of satisfaction settling in his expression, and you knew, in that moment, that he had you exactly where he wanted you. Bound to him, heart and soul, in a love that would consume you both.

[hwnglx]

hm i tried my best to explain, he has a lot of different facets to him, so reading for him can get a little overwhelming.. hope it's still a nice read 🤍

jake's ideal type

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

shuffled songs: bored by billie eilish young and beautiful by lana del rey “will you still love me, when i got nothing but my aching soul?”

physical traits

natural and classic beauty. harmonious features. deep and intense eyes. color more on the darker side. (like dark eyes you can lose yourself in) fierce gaze. something strong about their features that makes them stand out, it just catches your eye. face that lights up once they smile. (looks colder in a resting position but transform once they break into a smile) keep hearing “부담스러워” meaning burdenful. in this context, used more in an “intimidating” manner. in korean this can be used for people who have intensity to their look, people you can't hold eye contact with for long. he doesn't have an extremely specific type, just needs to feel intrigued.

personality traits

so, jake likes his partners to have a powerful effect on him. what seems to intrigue him in a person, is “reverse charm” where they might look sweet and innocent, but are much more fierce and savage inside. or look intense and cold, but end up being very soft and sweet inside. someone with a captivating aura, who carries themselves with a sense of mystery. a person he looks at and makes him wonder, awakens his interest like.. “oh this person must have such a different side to them deep down.”

jake also likes it when his lovers can boldly challenge him and his beliefs. he wants someone witty who isn't afraid to talk back at him, change his perspectives. someone whose words and actions linger in his mind, make him re-think his own and in hindsight change and transform him for the better. he wants his relationships to turn him into the better version of himself and to provoke him to discover his best self.

another quality he seems to cherish in his romantic partners, is when they're patient, gentle and persevering. he wants someone with emotional intelligence and empathy for people, who looks after the ones they treasure with great care. he needs someone loyal who won't be discouraged quickly, and remains committed to him through every trial. he seems to be quite self aware, so he knows that he isn't exactly the easiest lover to deal with.. whether that's because of his busy schedule, or his more complicated nature. he wants a person with motives and interests selfless enough to be accepting towards his faults, forgiving towards his mistakes. he wants a resilient person who can encourage him to work on himself. honestly, he seems to like his s/o to have motherly energy. he wants someone who will nurture him, coddle him on some levels, but also give him the tough love he needs to grow.

jake wants a person who puts importance into keeping the relationship harmonious. he'd appreciate a person who can balance him out, in a way where they can complete him in the areas he lacks. for instance, someone much more stable and grounded than him. someone who can be more logical or objective and less impulsive when the situation asks for it. i keep hearing “정신 차려”, which means “come to your senses” or “pull yourself together”.

(note; this insight was interesting because i think he's this case of opposites attracting and benefitting from each other. he could grow a lot from being with someone like jay, who has a stellium in taurus, which is opposite jake's scorpio stellium. idk if they're close but despite unavoidable clashes due to being so so different, they have potential to balance each other out pretty well)

jake puts a lot of value into understanding each other on a level deeper than everyone else. he wants there to be effortless communication between the two, almost telepathic, where they know what the other means even without necessarily being vocal about it. the person who seems to know you so well; they complete your sentences, or know what you're thinking or feeling just by one glance at your expression.

he also seems to like his lovers having this duality in personality, where they can be both; cute, playful and kittenish (someone who flirts in this giggly and coy way), but capable of having meaningful and long conversations about deep and serious matters in life. he does seem to love duality a lot, whether that's appearance-wise or character-wise.

him as a boyfriend

+ jake is a boyfriend who loooves making you feel like it's only you and him in this world. he really values alone-time and deep intimacy, whether that's physical intimacy in the form of quality time, or emotional intimacy in the form of deep conversations. he enjoys zoning in on his partners and focusing the entirety of his attention on them.

sweet aspect; he himself can be very moody, but if you need him to be your source of comfort and shoulder to cry on, he can become that for you. he'll put effort into making sure he wins over your trust and you feel comfortable around him. he wants you to feel safe enough to not be afraid of showcasing your emotions, whether that's sadness, frustration, anger.. he likes to see it all. he does enjoy seeing his lover riled up about him lmao, since to him it shows they're passionate about the relationship. but there is this comforting and warm energy to him, where he's good at making you feel seen, and listened to.

he is the type of boyfriend who will want to stick by your side through all storms. he really values what his lovers have to say. let's say you got into an argument with him; once you've both calmed down, he might sit you down, softly take your hand and deeply gaze into your eyes while quietly listening to your side of the story. he'll want to understand your perspective and your heart.

he can be responsible as a lover. it almost feels like a task to him to fulfill his role as a boyfriend, to make you feel like you can rely on him. he wants to lead the relationship, and make you feel secure. it's very much an equal give and take, since he does seem to enjoy leaning on his partner for security at times as well. evidently, he seems to actually like a balanced relationship with no crazy power dynamics.

- hm, some heavy energy here i don't feel comfortable diving into deeply. but i can sense him realizing he has a habit of so strongly clinging to his lovers, due to abandonment issues. which can be quite common for scorpio placements.. he's scared of being left behind and replaced with someone “better”, due to him potentially not being good enough to stay with. there's some lingering fatigue and emotional baggage from the past he seems to struggle letting go of.

jake can put so much pressure on himself to satisfy his partner. he wants them to feel fulfilled and confident in the relationship and makes it his responsibility. it can weigh on him if he feels like his partner is starting to lose the spark, fall out of love with him, and especially lose their trust in him. he wants his lover to recognize how much he cares about the connection, but is self-aware enough to understand it's his own bad habits and impulsiveness that can stand in the way.

i can see him having bad habits like, having wandering eyes or being too charming and.. complementary towards women, where it can border on flirting. blurring the lines (like in his eyes it wasn't flirting but his partner sees it differently). though i can't see him straight up cheating, “superficial” things like that can still understandably rub partners the wrong way. it can easily cause discomfort, conflicts, miscommunication. this can lead to trust issues on both sides. he can just be a boyfriend who requires a lot of patience.

[oceandolores]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 | chapter 14

dbf!joel miller x female reader

"You put your hands into your head, and then smile cover your heart,"

summary: Joel's paranoia is getting worse, and with the new dark truth you found out and the mysterious man...

warnings: 18+ only, Minors DNI, AU, No outbreak. (TW) mentions of substance abuse/alcohol use disorder, adult content, religion abuse, violence, blood gore, mentions of death, sexual abuse, sexual content, domestic violences, ped0ph!l1a, cann1bal!sm, human traff1ck1ng, dad's best friend!Joel, HUGE age gap (i will not specify her exact age, but she's legal and Joel is 49), daddy issues, mentions of toxic family dynamic, Joel is widowed, Ellie is 16, angst, smut A LOT, forbidden relationship, soft and protective Joel, innocent and pure reader. your last name is Gibson. any other details will be explain throughout the story. inspired by the album Preacher's daughter by Ethel Cain and also mix with lana del rey vibes.

CHAPTER 14

masterlist!

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It’s been a month on the road now, slipping in and out of sleepy towns, worn-out motels, and weathered diners with Joel by your side. The two of you have made a life between highways and backroads, sharing the kind of intimacy that comes from being each other’s only constant in a world that’s always shifting. The hum of the car engine and the crackle of old country songs on the radio have become the soundtrack to your love, which only grows deeper with every mile.

You find beauty in the simplicity of it all—sharing a cup of coffee in a diner that smells of old leather and rain, Joel’s fingers brushing yours across the table as he sips from his mug. The road stretches out before you like a promise, endless and full of possibility, with the sun painting the sky in shades of pink and orange as it sinks behind the hills. Joel’s hand rests on your thigh as he drives, his touch a steady comfort in a world that feels anything but certain.

Every town you pass through becomes a canvas for your love. In every motel room with flickering lights, beneath the worn sheets that smell of something familiar and foreign all at once, you find each other again and again. There’s a certain wildness to it—making love in unfamiliar places, the thrill of knowing that it’s just the two of you against the world. Each touch feels more urgent, more meaningful, as if the act itself can solidify the bond between you, making it unbreakable.

It’s in these moments, tangled together in a bed far from home, that you feel the weight of your connection grow stronger. You’ve seen every side of Joel now—his vulnerability, his fears, his longing—and you know he’s seen the same in you. Your bodies move in sync, a language spoken without words, where every breath, every whisper, binds you closer together.

Joel’s lips find yours in the quiet moments between the thrill of the open road, his touch both gentle and possessive, like he can’t get enough of you. And you welcome it—every kiss, every whispered promise in the dark, grounding yourself in him as he grounds himself in you.

With each new town, each new night, it’s as if you’re carving out your own sanctuary, a place where nothing else matters but the two of you. It’s more than just physical; it’s the way you share the same pillow, the way his fingers trace patterns across your skin as you drift to sleep, the way he holds you after, like you’re the only thing tethering him to this world.

But after New Orleans, you begin to notice a change in Joel, like the shadows he once outran have caught up to him. The nights grow heavier, darker somehow. He doesn’t talk about it, but you feel it in the way he holds you tighter when you sleep, as if he's afraid of losing you to some invisible force lurking just outside the window. His nightmares come more frequently now, muttered words and restless movements pulling him deeper into some past torment you can’t reach.

You wake to find him sitting up in bed, his breath uneven, his brow furrowed in worry. His eyes dart toward the door, as though he’s expecting someone to burst in at any moment. You slide closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist, your cheek pressed to his back, trying to ground him in the present.

“Joel,” you whisper, voice soft and tender, “You're okay, I'm here with you, It's okay, honey, we're fine." you held him into your arms and give his temple reassuring kisses, just like he did to you when you used to had nightmares.

Joel never says much after, just holds onto you tighter, as if he’s afraid to let go. Sometimes he apologizes, his voice rough with guilt. Other times, he just buries his face in the crook of your neck, breathing you in like you’re the only thing keeping him grounded. You always tell him the same thing: “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

But you know it’s not just the nightmares anymore. There’s something else. A shadow that follows him in the daylight, too, creeping in at the edges. Joel’s become more paranoid, glancing over his shoulder when you walk through unfamiliar towns, his body tense in a way that puts you on edge too. You notice how he lingers by the windows in your motel rooms, peeking through the blinds, his eyes scanning the parking lot like he’s expecting someone to be there.

“Joel, what’s wrong?” you ask one afternoon, after you catch him staring out at the empty street for far too long. But he just shakes his head, offering you a tight-lipped smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Nothin’, baby. Just… keepin’ an eye out. Gotta be careful, that’s all.”

You don’t press, even though the unease in your chest only grows. You haven’t seen anyone following you—no suspicious figures lurking in the shadows, no strange cars parked outside the motels—but Joel’s fear feels contagious, spreading like a dark cloud over the freedom you thought you’d found together.

At night, when you’re tangled together in bed, you still dream of your father. His voice, sharp and condemning, echoing in your head. You wake up gasping for air, your heart racing, only to find Joel beside you, his presence an anchor. He strokes your hair, his voice low and soothing, but you can’t help but wonder if those old wounds will ever fully heal. If either of you can truly escape the past.

But now, the roles have reversed. It’s Joel who’s haunted. Joel who can’t escape the feeling that someone is coming for him. You try to comfort him the way he’s always comforted you, whispering reassurances into the quiet of the night, holding him close like you can keep the darkness at bay. But his worry clings to him like fog in the early morning, impossible to shake.

In the daylight, everything feels lighter. You’re back on the road, wind in your hair, Joel’s hand resting on yours as the miles slip by. But even then, you can see the flicker of something in his eyes—a wariness, a question that never leaves his mind. You watch him scan the rearview mirror more than usual, his fingers tightening around the steering wheel whenever a car lingers behind you for too long. And though you want to tell him it’s all in his head, you know better than to dismiss it. He’s been through too much to brush off his instincts.

So, you do the only thing you know how to do. You love him. In all the small ways. In all the quiet moments. You press kisses to his temple when he needs reassurance, you hold his hand a little tighter when the weight of his thoughts becomes too much to bear. You let him know, in every way you can, that you’re not going anywhere—that whatever is chasing him can’t touch you. Because it’s just the two of you, like it always has been, like it always will be.

One evening, as the sun dipped low and cast long shadows across the room, you stood at the doorway, watching Joel step out onto the motel balcony, his phone pressed to his ear. The gruffness in his voice softened when he spoke to his brother, Tommy. You could hear the low rumble of his conversation but couldn't make out the words.

You glanced at the soda cans on the small fridge beside the bed, all empty now. "Joel, I'm gonna run downstairs to grab some soda from the store. You want anything?" you asked, stepping toward him.

Joel glanced back at you, his brow furrowed slightly. "Alright, but don’t take too long, okay? And avoid talkin' to folks if you can," he warned, his protective nature slipping through in his voice. "Just get what you need and come right back."

You nod, offering a small smile to reassure him before slipping out the door. The motel’s hallway smells faintly of old carpet and dust, the sound of your shoes echoing in the quiet. As you make your way to the store downstairs, you can’t help but wonder what Joel’s talking about with Tommy. You know he misses them, misses Ellie. The weight of it is always there, just beneath the surface.

On the balcony, Joel exhales deeply, listening to Tommy talk about life back home. "It's good to hear your voice, man,"Joel says, running a hand through his hair. "How's Maria? Luke?"

Tommy’s voice on the other end is calm, steady. “They’re good. Luke’s growin’ so fast, it’s like he’s got a new trick every day. Maria’s been keepin’ busy with him, but she’s doin’ well. Misses you, though. We all do.”

Joel smiles faintly, though his thoughts are elsewhere. "That's good to hear," he says, pausing for a moment before his voice grows quieter. "How's uh...how's Ellie?"

There’s a silence on the other end of the line, the unspoken tension hanging heavy between the brothers. Joel’s heart clenches in his chest. He’s been running from that guilt, pushing it down, but it’s always there, clawing its way back up.

"She's good, Joel. Don't you worry about her," Tommy replies gently. "She's a strong kid, you know that."

Joel nods, though the guilt gnaws at him. “I know. I just…” He swallows, unsure of how to say it. “I shouldn’t have left her. I hate myself for it sometimes.”

“You did what you had to do,” Tommy assures him, but Joel’s not so sure. “She gets it. She just wants to know you’re safe. You’re happy.”

Joel forces a breath out, eyes flicking to the horizon. "You wanna talk to her? She's here actually," Tommy said to Joel.

“Tommy, no, wait—” Joel starts, but it’s too late. He hears Tommy call for Ellie in the background, his heart pounding in his chest. He hasn’t spoken to her since he left. Not directly. Not like this.

Ellie’s voice comes through the line, a mix of sarcasm and warmth masking her deeper emotions. “Well, well, if it isn’t my old man Finally found some time to call, huh?”

Joel winces slightly at the edge in her tone but tries to match her energy. "Hey, kiddo. Missed you."

There’s a beat of silence, and then Ellie softens, though her voice is still guarded. “Yeah, well… I missed you too, dumbass.” She pauses, her tone growing serious. "You okay? You both… safe?"

Joel’s throat tightens. "Yeah. We’re good. How ‘bout you? School goin’ alright?"

Ellie snorts, but there’s a softness in her tone that Joel doesn’t miss. "School?" she repeats. "Yeah, sure. You know, same old bullshit. But don’t worry about me. I’m fine."

Joel closes his eyes, leaning heavily against the railing, the cool metal biting into his palms as he tries to steady himself. The guilt is an ever-present weight, always lingering just behind his ribs.

"I’m sorry, Ellie," he says after a beat, his voice thick with emotion. "I’m sorry I left you. I had to… I had to figure things out. And I’m sorry for not bein’ there."

There’s a pause on the other end before Ellie’s voice comes through, softer now. "Joel… it’s alright. You had to do it. I get it." She hesitates, her words catching in her throat. 

"Yeah, I was pissed off for a bit. Hell, I’m still pissed off. But I understand. You love her. It’s weird as fuck to say it out loud, but I understand. People do crazy shit when they’re in love. I’d probably do the same."

Joel can’t help but smile at the honesty in her voice, even if the situation is far from funny. “Oh, you’re in love now? Alright, kiddo, who’s the lucky kid?” His tone lightens, teasing, hoping to ease the tension just a little.

Ellie laughs, the sound full of teenage exasperation, and Joel can practically hear her blushing through the phone. “Yeah, right. As if I’d tell you.” She pauses, adding with a grin, “Maybe when you come back… if I’m feeling generous.”

Joel chuckles, shaking his head. The levity in their conversation fades after a moment, and Ellie’s tone shifts, more serious now. "But… Joel, there’s somethin’ else. People talk. At school, about you… and her."

Joel’s stomach tightens, his jaw clenching as he braces himself. “What kind of talk?”

Ellie hesitates, her voice quieter, almost like she doesn’t want to say it. "It’s not good, Joel. They’re callin’ you… a p-word." The word hangs in the air between them, unspoken but heavy. 

"Pedo," she finally says. "I have to fucking punch the people calling you that shit, that's ain't true, they are fucking assholes." Ellie says again.

"I also heard her father reported you to the state police. They’re lookin’ for you. He’s sayin’ you kidnapped her, but… I don’t know. ‘Cause now she’s legal, right? I heard the cops might drop it, like… you just ran off with her or whatever. Like some… runaway lovers thing."

Joel’s grip tightens on the railing, his knuckles turning white as he absorbs the weight of her words. His voice, when it comes, is steady but strained. "Where’d you hear about this?"

Ellie sighs, sounding almost guilty. "I kinda overheard Tommy and Maria talking. They don’t know I was listenin’, but… it’s all over town, Joel."

Joel’s fatherly instincts kick in, his voice firm. "Ellie, you know eavesdroppin’ ain’t good. You shouldn’t be listenin’ to stuff like that." 

He’s trying to sound authoritative, but the concern seeps through. "Let me and Tommy handle it, alright? You don’t need to worry about any of that."

“But I am worried,” Ellie says, her voice cracking just a little, the vulnerability slipping through the cracks in her armor. “I’m worried about you, Joel. This shit is fucking serious."

Joel’s heart lurches at her words, but he forces himself to sound calm, reassuring. "Ellie, I’m gonna be alright. Don’t think about that, okay? Let me deal with it. You’ve got enough on your plate. School, life… I don’t want you stressin’ about me."

There’s a long pause on the other end, and Joel knows Ellie’s fighting back her emotions. When she finally speaks again, her voice is quieter, softer. "You’re all I have, Joel."

The words hit him like a punch to the gut. Joel feels his chest tighten, the weight of everything—his choices, his past, the danger lurking around every corner—pressing down on him all at once. He knows he’s failed her in so many ways, knows she deserves better. But he loves her, and he hopes that’s enough.

"I know, kiddo," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I promise you, I’ll be careful. We’ll see each other again soon, okay? I won’t let anything happen to me. Or to you."

Ellie sniffs, trying to keep her composure. "You better keep that promise, Joel. Just… be safe, alright? Please."

Joel’s heart aches as he listens to her, knowing how much she’s had to endure, how much he’s put her through. "I will, Ellie," he promises. "We’ll be okay. I’ll see you soon. I swear it."

"Tell her I say hi and me and Emma misses her terribly," Ellie says again, Joel chuckles a little, "I will."

There’s a soft rustle on the other end, and Joel hears Ellie hand the phone back to Tommy. Tommy’s voice fills the line again, steady and matter-of-fact.

“Alright, brother,” Tommy says, his tone shifting back to business. "Let’s talk about her father. He’s still making noise, and it’s getting harder to keep him at bay. We need to figure out what the next move is."

Joel leans against the railing, the weight of the conversation with Ellie still heavy in his chest. He glances out into the darkening sky, thinking about the storm that’s coming and wondering how much longer they can keep running.

"Tommy," Joel starts, his voice low but determined. "We’re gonna keep movin'. California’s the plan. We’ll settle there, lay low. By the time she’s old enough… well, legal enough… the cops might drop the charges. We’ll be free."

There’s a pause, and Joel exhales slowly. "Ellie will come with us, when things calm down. We’ll start over, build a life there."

The words hang in the air like a promise, a hope for something better. Joel’s mind drifts—he imagines a small house by the coast, the two of you living quietly with Ellie, finally free from the weight of the past. Maybe He'll get married. Marry you. Maybe even… kids? The thought stirs something deep in Joel, a mix of longing and fear. After all the trauma, the loss, the heartache—could he even think about kids again? and are you even ready for it after all you've been through?

But the idea of a new life, of peace… it feels like heaven. A place where you and Ellie are safe, where he can protect you both and build something that lasts. "That’s all I need," he murmurs to himself, eyes tracing the horizon.

"Joel?" Tommy’s voice pulls him back. "What’s the plan for now?"

Joel clears his throat, shaking off the haze of his thoughts. "We’re headin’ to Boston next," he says, leaning back against the railing. "We’re in Chicago right now, but we won’t stay long. Got too much heat on us here." 

He pauses, thinking carefully before bringing up the subject weighing on his mind. "Listen, I heard somethin’ on the news. About that Lee boy… and the new pastor at Ellie’s school." He keeps his tone casual, not wanting to raise any suspicion. "They say anything about that?"

There’s a beat of silence, and then Tommy sighs. "Yeah, man. They’re callin’ it a serial killer case now. The cops found parts of Jamie Lee’s body out in the desert. Scattered. They think he was murdered somewhere else and dumped out there. They’re throwin’ everything they got at it, trying to find the killer."

Joel’s stomach twists into knots. "Fuck," he mutters under his breath, his hand gripping the railing tighter. How could he have been so careless? He remembers rushing, panicked, after everything went down—he must’ve left something behind. A piece of Jamie’s body, missed in his hurry to bury them. Now the cops were closer than ever.

Cold sweat beads on his forehead as the full weight of it crashes down on him. If they connect the dots… if they find more evidence, they’ll come after him. And what will happen to you? His mind spirals into dark thoughts—what if they find him before he can get you to safety? What if everything he’s been running from finally catches up?

Joel is so lost in his thoughts, he barely hears Tommy still talking on the other end. His mind is miles away, trapped in the worst-case scenarios of what could happen next.

"Joel?" Tommy’s voice breaks through the fog in his mind. "Joel, you still there?"

He blinks, shaking his head. "Yeah, yeah, sorry," he says, voice distant, trying to steady himself. But something in his gut feels off.

He glances back toward the door of the motel room, realizing how long it’s been since you went to grab soda from the store downstairs. "Tommy, listen…" His voice tightens with concern. "I gotta go."

Tommy senses the tension in Joel’s voice immediately. "What’s goin’ on, brother? You alright? You sound… panicked."

But Joel’s already hanging up, his heart racing as he pushes open the motel door and steps back into the room. It’s empty. Quiet. He checks the clock. You’ve been gone too long.

Panic claws at his chest, and before he knows it, Joel’s out the door, rushing down the hallway, his mind racing with a thousand dark thoughts.

Joel’s heart pounds in his chest as he pushes through the motel’s front door, heading toward the store. He forces himself to stay calm, but the dread creeping up his spine is impossible to ignore.

When he reaches the counter, the fluorescent lights hum overhead, casting a harsh glow on the teenage cashier slouched behind the register. Joel’s voice is tight as he speaks.

"Hey, you seen a girl—'bout this tall, brunette, wearing a light brown dress? She came in for soda."

The cashier looks up, nodding lazily. "Yeah, the pretty girl? She was here. But then she left… with some dude."

Joel’s breath catches in his throat. "What?" His voice sharpens. "What man? Who was it?"

The kid shrugs, barely paying attention. "I dunno, man. Older guy, cool lookin’, maybe her dad or somethin’. Think they went to one of the diners across the street."

Joel’s pulse roars in his ears. "Which diner?" he asks, but the kid just shrugs again, not helpful in the slightest.

Frustration churns in Joel’s gut. "Great," he mutters under his breath before pushing out of the store, his steps growing quicker with each heartbeat. His mind is racing, dread gnawing at the edges of his thoughts, paranoia creeping in like shadows stretching across the pavement.

Was it someone from the police? A detective? Had her father finally found them? His thoughts are jagged, sharp, stabbing at his calm like shards of glass.

He moves through the dimly lit street, crossing between diners, pushing through doors, scanning each place with eyes wild, searching. Every face he sees isn’t yours, and with each diner he leaves, his panic tightens its grip.

"Where the hell are you?" he whispers to himself, his breathing growing ragged.

It’s as though the world has closed in on him, every step forward feeling like running against the tide. The buildings loom like cold, indifferent sentinels, mocking him as he moves from one diner to the next, desperately searching.

His thoughts spiral—what if it’s not just some guy? What if it's someone looking for you? What if they know who you are, who he is? Joel feels his stomach twist, his worst fears wrapping themselves around him like chains, dragging him down into a pit of dread.

And then, across the street, he sees you.

Standing outside one of the diners, you’re talking to a tall man, his back turned to Joel. The guy’s wearing a black leather jacket, his salt-and-pepper beard catching the faint glow of the diner lights. You’re smiling, carefree, like you’ve known him forever.

Then, you hug him, a quick goodbye before the man climbs into his car and drives off, leaving you standing there with a wave.

Joel’s blood runs cold.

You spot him across the street and wave, holding a six-pack of soda in one hand, your sandals slapping against the pavement as you walk toward him with that same innocent smile.

"Hey, Joel!" you call out, your tone casual. "What are you doing out here?"

But Joel doesn’t respond. His body moves on instinct, storming toward you, his jaw clenched tight. The second he reaches you, his hand shoots out, grabbing your arm with a harsh grip.

"Joel?" you say, confused, your eyes widening. "What’s wrong? Ow."

But Joel’s beyond reason now, his mind locked in panic, anger bubbling just beneath the surface. He pulls you with him, his grip firm, dragging you toward the motel without a word. Your steps stumble to keep up, your free hand clinging to the six-pack.

"Joel, what are you doing? You’re hurting me," you plead, but his grip only tightens as he hauls you into the motel room, slamming the door shut behind him.

You nearly fall as he shoves you inside, the six-pack slipping from your grasp and hitting the floor with a clatter. His back presses against the door, locking you both in the small space. His chest heaves with the effort of trying to catch his breath, but the rage boiling inside him leaves no room for calm.

"Didn’t I tell you not to talk to anyone?" His voice is low, rough, a dangerous edge in his tone that makes your heart pound in your chest. "Who the hell was that?"

Your eyes widen, fear flickering across your face. "Joel, I’m sorry, I was going to tell you, I just didn’t want to be rude—"

"Who was that?" Joel’s voice is sharper now, and he moves toward you, his face dark with fury. His hand reaches for your wrist, squeezing hard enough to make you wince. "Tell me."

"That's Negan," you blurt out, your voice shaky. "He—he used to visit my father. He was one of his guests. I met him at my house. We were just talking, that’s all. Joel, please, you’re hurting me."

Joel’s grip doesn’t loosen, his mind whirling. "Your father’s friend? Is he still in contact with your dad? Did you tell anything about us?" His jaw is tight, teeth grinding together, his breath coming in quick, shallow bursts.

"No, no, he’s not," you insist, trying to steady your voice. "He’s not in contact with my dad anymore. He doesn’t know anything about us. I told him I was just on summer break with some friends."

Joel’s eyes bore into yours, searching for any hint of a lie, his fingers digging into your skin. "What did you talk about with him?" he demands, his voice a low growl.

"I'm sorry, Joel, I'm sorry. Nothing important, I swear. Just catching up." You can’t stop the tremble in your voice. "He doesn’t know anything about us, Joel. I promise."

But Joel’s mind is still clouded, still trapped in the dark corners of his paranoia. Every word you say feels like a thread unraveling in his head, and all he can think about is the man—the man who was too close, who might know too much.

You stand there, frozen, your body trembling as Joel finally lets go of your wrist. His breath is shaky, his hands falling to his sides as he steps back.

The anger that just consumed him is replaced by a heavy wave of regret washing over his features, but it doesn’t make the sting of his grip—or the terror it left behind—disappear.

“You… you can’t just do that,” he mutters, his voice quieter now, almost defeated. “You can’t just walk off and talk to people. You don’t know who’s lookin’ for you… for us.”

You nod, mechanically rubbing the spot where his fingers had dug into your skin, still too shocked to fully grasp what just happened. The image of him, face twisted in rage, flashes in your mind, and you feel your heart tighten painfully in your chest.

For a moment—just a moment—you saw someone else standing there. Not Joel.

Your father.

The way his jaw clenched, how he towered over you, the grip on your wrist—it was too much like before, too close to the nights you feared your father’s wrath, his cruelty.

It rips open an old wound you thought had healed. You take a shaky breath, but it comes out as a sob, your chest heaving with the flood of emotions crashing down on you.

Joel’s gaze flickers to your wrist, and when he sees the angry red marks his grip left behind, his eyes widen in horror.

“Fuck, baby,” he whispers, his voice hoarse, trembling. “I didn’t mean to— I’m so sorry. I…”

He reaches out to you, but the second his hand moves closer, you flinch, stepping back instinctively, your arms wrapping around yourself protectively.

“Don’t touch me,” you manage to choke out, your voice small and broken. “I just… I want to be alone. Please.”

Joel’s face falls, a look of devastation crossing his features as he lowers his hand. He takes a step back, guilt weighing heavy on his shoulders. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear—”

“Just leave,” you whisper, tears welling in your eyes. “For a moment. Joel… I need space.”

He swallows hard, his expression tortured, but he doesn’t push you any further. He knows he’s hurt you in a way he never intended, and the regret in his eyes is almost unbearable.

Joel opens his mouth as if to say something else, but he sees the way you’re trembling, sees how scared you are. He doesn’t want to make it worse.

With one last look, he turns and leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

The second you hear the click of the door, your knees give way. You sink to the floor, your body shaking as the sobs come harder now, the weight of it all too much to hold inside any longer. You feel like you can’t breathe, the air thick and suffocating, and the tears spill over uncontrollably.

It was Joel… but it wasn’t.

The man who held you just now, who gripped you so tightly you thought he might hurt you… that wasn’t the Joel you knew. And that scared you more than anything.

You scramble to your feet, rushing into the bathroom. You slam the door shut and lock it, as if that simple action could somehow keep everything out. But nothing stops the flood of memories, the fear that curls around your chest like a vice.

The way your father’s face twisted in anger whenever you crossed him, the sting of his words, the threat of his hand. You always knew when it was coming, that moment when his patience snapped, when you’d become the target of his rage.

And for a moment, Joel had looked just like him.

You press your back against the door and slide down, hugging your knees to your chest, your body trembling as you sob. You cry for what feels like hours, the weight of it all crashing over you again and again.

You don’t understand why Joel acted like that. What was he so scared of? Why he's so paranoid? And what stuff that Joel hadn't told you?

It feels like something is unraveling between you and Joel, something you didn’t even know was fragile until now. Joel has always been protective, always had that edge of anger simmering beneath the surface, but never toward you. And now… you don’t know what to think.

After what feels like forever, your sobs finally quiet. You sit there, leaning against the bathroom door, your mind racing but your tears spent. It hits you then, harder than before—you have no one else.

 Your father is gone, your mother is tied to him in a way that leaves her powerless to help you, and the life you once knew, are all out of reach now. You’re alone in this world except for Joel.

It’s just you and him.

You clutch your knees tighter, the realization sinking deeper. Everything you have, everything you are, depends on Joel. He saved you when no one else would. Pulled you out of the hell that was your life, gave you a way out.

You owe him more than you could ever express—more than you could ever repay. There's a part of you that feels indebted to him, like you have no choice but to obey him. He’s all you have left.

And it scares you. You’ve never felt this dependent on anyone before, never felt like your entire world revolved around one person. But with Joel, it does. If you lose him, what would you even have? You wouldn’t survive.

You can’t survive alone. And even though his anger tonight terrified you, you can’t shake the feeling that you need to do whatever it takes to keep him. Even if that means obeying him without question, doing whatever he says. Because without Joel, you're truly, utterly alone.

Tears well in your eyes again, but you quickly wipe them away. You can’t let that fear rule you. You’re strong. You’ve survived too much to fall apart now. But this feeling of being so utterly dependent on Joel, of having no one else to turn to—it gnaws at you.

Even as you cry in the shower, trying to pull yourself together, you know deep down that you’ll have to go back to him. Apologize, make things right, because you can’t lose him.

He’s your only tether to this world, the only person who keeps you from feeling completely lost. And you know, despite everything, you’ll do whatever it takes to keep him in your life.

As the water runs down your skin, you close your eyes and take slow, steady breaths, trying to ground yourself. You can’t keep hiding in fear. You need to know what’s going on. You need to talk to Joel, to figure out what’s haunting him so badly that it’s making him act this way.

He’s always protected you, always cared for you, but now it’s clear there’s something deeper going on. Something he hasn’t told you. And if you’re going to stay with him, if you’re going to trust him again, you need answers.

When you step out of the shower, you feel a little more in control. You towel off, get dressed, and take a deep breath. You have to be mature about this. You can’t let fear rule you. You’re not a child anymore—you need to face this head-on.

Joel needs to tell you the truth, whatever it is. You need to know what’s driving him to this edge, why he’s so terrified of losing you, of being found.

You dry your eyes, gather yourself, and make the decision. You’ll talk to him. You’ll make him talk. Because you can’t keep living in the dark, and you can’t let fear take root between you. You need to understand what’s going on in Joel’s mind—and in his heart.

Slipping out of the room, you feel the cool evening air hit your skin like a reminder of the space between you and him now. You think you know where he went—the bar.

You’ve learned Joel's patterns well enough by now, and after what happened earlier, you’re certain that’s where he’d go to drown out his anger and regret.

As you walk down the empty hallway and push open the doors of the motel lobby, your nerves tighten with each step. You can feel your pulse quickening, the sinking fear that things between you and Joel might never be the same.

But you need to fix this. You need him—more than he probably even knows.

When you step into the bar, it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. Your gaze scans the room, searching, hoping. And then you see him—sitting at the bar, his broad back turned toward you. Relief floods your chest, but it’s short-lived.

Joel isn’t alone.

There’s a woman beside him, by the look of her, she looks like she's near his age, younger, probably in her 40s, and she is close enough that her body leans into his space, her fingers brushing his arm as she speaks.

She’s beautiful, with soft waves of auburn hair and an easy smile.

She’s holding something in her hand, showing it to Joel—it looks like a bottle of perfume, and Joel is leaning in slightly, smelling it. They’re laughing. She’s too close, far too close.

Jealousy flares in your chest, sharp and immediate. It burns through your veins as you take a step forward, unable to keep your eyes off them. The way she touches his arm, the way Joel doesn’t pull away—why isn’t he pulling away?

You swallow hard, forcing yourself to move forward. Each step feels heavy, weighed down by doubt, fear, anger—all swirling into one mess inside of you.

When you finally reach them, Joel doesn’t notice you at first. He’s still laughing at whatever the woman said, his head tilted down toward her.

“Joel,” you say, your voice shaky but loud enough to cut through the laughter.

He looks up, surprise flickering in his eyes as he meets your gaze. "Oh… hey, baby." he mutters, his voice slurring slightly, like he’s already had one too many drinks. "Sorry, I didn’t realize how late it was…you uh okay now?"

You stand there, arms crossed tightly over your chest, the jealousy clawing at you. You stare at the woman, waiting for Joel to introduce you. But he doesn’t—he just awkwardly shifts on his barstool, rubbing the back of his neck.

The woman turns toward you with a kind smile, not realizing the tension hanging in the air. “Oh! You must be Joel’s daughter, right? I'm Tess, nice to meet you,”

The words hang in the air like a slap, the shock hitting you square in the chest. You blink, feeling the ground tilt beneath your feet. His daughter?

Before you can speak, Joel clears his throat, his voice low but firm. “She's not my daughter, she’s my partner.”

Tess freezes, embarrassment washing over her features as she glances between the two of you. “Oh… oh my God, I’m so sorry,” she stammers, clearly flustered. “I just assumed…"

"It’s fine," Joel cut in, his hand resting on your back protectively. "Tess was just being friendly."

But you saw the way Tess glanced at him, the way she lingered just a little too long on his eyes. She’d been flirting, and though Joel hadn’t seemed to notice—or maybe he had and didn’t care—you couldn’t help the jealousy that simmered beneath your skin. You shot her a tight smile, pulling Joel closer as if to remind him where he belonged.

"It’s okay," you said, though the tension between you and Tess lingered as Joel excused himself from the bar.

You feel your heart race, the awkwardness settling in the pit of your stomach like a stone. Joel looks at you, guilt flickering in his eyes, and you can see it—he didn’t mean for this to happen.

Tess tries to laugh it off, waving her hand as she takes a step back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. I’ll, uh, leave you two alone. Nice to meet you, Joel."

Joel mumbles something, but you barely hear it. Your focus is on him—on the way he avoided introducing you, the way he let Tess get close to him, the way you feel so small in this moment. You're so insecure, because she's like the type of Joel's woman, like she's age appropriate for him.

You glance at Tess as she walks away. You’re left standing there with Joel, the silence between you growing louder with every second. He looks at you, regret heavy in his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Where have you been?” you ask, trying to steady your voice. “I was waiting for you…”

Joel sighs, running a hand through his hair, clearly at a loss for words. "I—I'm sorry," he mutters again, his voice softer this time, tinged with guilt. "I didn’t mean to stay out so long."

You nod, feeling the sting of his absence, of watching him with someone else, of realizing how fragile everything between you suddenly feels.

But you push it all down, reminding yourself of what you came here for—to talk, to understand.

“Let’s go,” you say quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “We need to talk.”

And Joel, with all the weight of his mistakes hanging heavy on his shoulders, simply nods, following you out of the bar into the cool night air, where everything is waiting to fall apart or be made whole again.

As you both step into the room, you push the door open and walk inside first, the familiar surroundings offering a brief moment of comfort in the storm brewing between you.

Joel hesitates at the threshold, his hand hovering near the door as if he’s afraid to follow. But after a moment, he steps inside, closing the door behind him and locking it with a soft click that echoes in the stillness.

You sit on the edge of the bed, a nervous knot twisting in your stomach. The air is thick with unspoken words, and you pat the space beside you, inviting him to sit.

Joel moves slowly, as if every step is laden with the gravity of what’s unsaid. The silence stretches, taut and heavy, both of you caught in the weight of the moment.

Finally, Joel breaks the stillness, his voice low and filled with concern. “Are you alright, doll?”

You nod, though the tremor in your hands betrays you. “I’m fine.”

“I'm really, really sorry,” he continues, his words tumbling out like stones from a burdened heart. “I didn’t mean to…” His voice trails off, as if he’s searching for the right words but can’t find them.

“It’s alright,” you cut him off gently, wanting to soothe his pain even as your own heart races with anxiety. But the pause hangs between you, heavy with unresolved tension.

You shift your position, turning to face him fully, the intensity of his gaze making your chest tighten.

“What’s going on, Joel?” you ask, your voice softening. “I need to know what’s bothering you. Is it me? Is it something else?"

"Why are you so scared? You’ve been acting different since New Orleans... I need to know, Joel. I… I can’t lose you. I’m scared.”

His expression shifts, the rigid lines of his face softening as he takes your hands in his, holding them close as if they’re a lifeline in the tumultuous sea between you. He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, and tears threaten to spill from your eyes.

In that moment, he wants to tell you everything—the shadows that have been haunting him, the demons that lurk in the corners of his mind.

But he hesitates, his heart racing with the fear that you wouldn’t understand.

The guilt of what he’s done looms over him like a dark cloud, heavy and suffocating. He’s terrified that revealing the truth would shatter the fragile bond you’ve built together.

Yet, as you look up at him, something in your eyes compels him to speak. “It’s about your father,” he lies, his voice barely a whisper.

“He still reported me… I’m just scared that the detectives will find you and take you away from me. I can’t let that happen.”

You feel a rush of emotions course through you, sensing the half-truth in his words, the fear that lingers behind his stoic exterior. He’s afraid—not just of the detectives but of losing you, and that realization cuts deep.

“Joel,” you say softly, your heart aching for him, “he’s not going to take me away from you. We’re safe. I promise.”

His eyes narrow, skepticism etched on his face. “You don’t know that,” he counters, his voice thick with concern. “He could be lying in wait, ready to pull some strings."

You shake your head, a flicker of frustration igniting within you. “Joel, he’s my father. I know him better than anyone. He’s just bluffing. He’ll eventually let me go; I mean… I’m nothing to him. He hates me. He doesn’t want me in his life, so why bother wanting me back?”

The raw honesty of your words hangs in the air between you like an echo of an unshakable truth. Joel’s expression softens, the tension in his shoulders easing just a fraction as he searches your gaze.

He can see the hurt beneath your bravado, the wounds your father has inflicted that run deep, yet he struggles to reconcile that with the danger he feels looms just beyond the horizon.

“Doll,” he murmurs, his voice tinged with both tenderness and fear. “I don’t want to think about the worst. I just… I can’t bear the thought of losing you. You’re everything to me.”

You look up at him, conviction burning in your chest. “You will not lose me, Joel. I promise, I will not lose you either. We’re in this together. Always.” But even as you say the words, a nagging feeling churns in your gut, whispering that there’s more he’s keeping from you.

“Are you sure there’s nothing else, Joel?” you ask, your voice steady yet gentle, searching his eyes for the truth. “What do you mean by that?”

He hesitates, his gaze drifting away as if the weight of his secrets is too heavy to bear.

“Joel,” you plead, reaching out to touch his hand, “you can trust me. We’ll stick together, no matter what. Just let me in. You don’t have to carry it alone.”

But he still doesn’t budge, the wall between you seeming insurmountable. You nod, accepting his silence for now. “Okay, but remember that you can tell me anything. My love for you will not change, no matter what.”

The words hang in the air, a vow that wraps around him like a warm embrace. In that moment, something shifts within Joel. He meets your gaze, his heart melting under the weight of your unwavering love, your sincerity cutting through the chaos that clouds his mind.

“What did I do to deserve an angel like you?” he whispers, his voice cracking just a little.

“Just being you is enough,” you reply softly, feeling the tenderness in the space between you.

And then, unable to resist the pull between you any longer, you lean in, kissing him deeply. This time, it’s pure, unfiltered love that surges between your lips—a promise sealed with every gentle brush of skin, every soft sigh that escapes into the air.

The world fades away as you lose yourselves in each other, the moment stretching into eternity, filled with a warmth that chases away the shadows of fear.

When you finally pull away, breathless and glowing, a smile dances across your lips. But as you gaze into his eyes, you see a flicker of something else.

“You haven’t eaten,” he says, concern threading through his voice. “You should rest. I’ll order something from downstairs and bring it back up for you.”

“Joel, I can wait—”

“No,” he interrupts gently but firmly. “You need to take care of yourself. I’ll be quick.” He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before moving away, leaving you momentarily in the warmth of his embrace.

As he steps outside the room, you sink back onto the bed, feeling a mix of warmth and longing. The air around you is still charged with the magic of your shared moment, but the unanswered questions linger, dancing just beyond reach.

You let out a soft sigh, closing your eyes for a moment, willing yourself to rest, knowing he’ll return soon.

Joel heads down to the bar, his mind racing with thoughts of you. He orders food, feeling the pressure of his emotions begin to lighten just a little with each passing moment away from you.

Yet, even as he waits, the shadows of his past loom large, reminding him that he’s not just fighting for himself—he’s fighting for you. And it’s a fight he intends to win.

As Joel waits at the bar, the world around him is alive with laughter and chatter, a stark contrast to the heavy weight pressing against his chest.

The air is thick with the scent of whiskey and lingering conversations, people mingling as if the night holds no threats, but he knows better. Shadows of his past linger, whispering reminders that the fight he’s waging is not just for himself—it’s for you.

You are the light of his life, fire of his loins, and he’ll be damned if he lets anything threaten that.

He watches the crowd, the chaos swirling like a tempest around him. In the corner of his eye, he catches sight of a man ordering a drink, but his view is obscured by a group of women animatedly chatting nearby.

Joel shifts, trying to get a clearer look, but the bustling bodies block his view.

“Got a lot on your mind, fella?” a voice cuts through the noise, pulling him back into the moment. He turns slightly to see the man leaning against the bar, a sly grin playing on his lips. Joel's brow furrows, he can't see his face.

“Yeah, life,” he replies curtly, not in the mood for small talk.

The man chuckles, taking a sip of his whiskey. “I saw you with a young girl. She your daughter?”

At that, Joel’s heart skips a beat, and he freezes, “No…” he responds, his voice low and cautious.

“Oh, she looks young enough to be your daughter,” the man presses, his grin widening, but still Joel can't see his face because the women blocking his view “Who is she then?”

“None of your business,” Joel bites back, his tone cold and defensive, but the man merely laughs, clearly unfazed by Joel's irritation.

“Got a fire in you, my friend,” he remarks, his tone almost mocking.

Joel tries to catch a glimpse of the man’s face, but he’s constantly blocked by other patrons milling about, laughter and chatter drowning out his mounting anger.

“You know she’s a pretty little thing,” the man continues, leaning in closer. “What’s her story? You fucked her, didn’t you? Kidnapped her from her abusive family?”

The words hit Joel like a punch to the gut, and a primal instinct surges through him—protectiveness mingling with anger.

“What?” he snaps, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he struggles to see the man’s face, but the crowd shifts, obscuring his view further.

“Have you heard about this cannibal running around, kidnapping and eating young girls? If I were you, I’d be careful to keep her safe, ‘cause damn, she does look delicious.”

With that, something inside Joel snaps. He stands abruptly, every instinct screaming to confront this man, to demand answers.

But just as quickly as he rose, the man leans back, disappearing into the throng of bodies, leaving nothing but a ghost of a threat lingering in the air.

Joel’s heart races, panic seizing him as he realizes what he has to do. You’re alone up there, and he needs to get back to you—now.

The laughter and warmth of the bar fade into the background as he pushes through the crowd, each step fueled by fear and urgency.

The thought of you, vulnerable and alone, drives him forward.

His breath quickens as he navigates the throng, his mind a whirlwind of protective instincts and dread. The very idea of losing you ignites a fire in his soul, and he bursts through the door to the hallway, urgency pulsing in his veins.

Each step toward your room is a promise—a vow to keep you safe from the dark corners of this world that threaten to creep in.

Joel bursts through the door, and the sight that greets him sends a jolt through his veins. You sit on the bed, your eyes wide and haunted, riveted to the flickering television.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” he rushes to you, concern flooding his voice.

“Joel...it’s Pastor Ben,” you manage to say, your finger trembling as you point to the screen. The news report unfolds like a nightmare made flesh—Pastor Ben, the man who had cloaked himself in righteousness, is revealed as a predator, a monster who has sexually abused, raped hundreds of children in Mexico.

A visceral reaction surges within you, a repulsion that knots your stomach. You remember the moments in his car, the way his fingers brushed against your arm, the unsettling questions he had asked about your age, each touch a violation that makes your skin crawl.

It feels as if the walls are closing in, suffocating you with the realization of the betrayal you had trusted. The reporter’s voice booms through the room, detailing the horrors of the youngest victim—only six years old.

The words resonate with a sickening finality, and you rush to the bathroom, the taste of bile burning your throat as you heave into the toilet.

Each retch feels like a release of the poison that has been festering within you, a violent expulsion of the memories that threaten to drown you.

Joel stands frozen for a moment, grappling with the revelation. His heart races, a chaotic mix of anger and relief coursing through him.

The man he killed had been a monster, but the weight of that truth is heavy. The knowledge that you were entangled in his web, even briefly, gnaws at him.

When you emerge, pale and trembling, Joel swiftly turns off the TV, the silence in the room suddenly deafening.

“Doll, are you okay?” he asks softly, his hands moving to cradle your head, fingers brushing gently through your hair, a comforting gesture meant to ground you.

“Just… let’s go to sleep, please,” you whisper, fatigue washing over you like a tide.

He nods, understanding the weight of the moment. With gentle strength, he scoops you into his arms, carrying you to the bed where safety awaits.

As you lie together in the dark, bodies intertwined in a protective embrace, the weight of the night hangs heavily in the air.

You are cocooned in the warmth of each other, yet your minds are worlds apart.

Each fleeting memory of his touch feels like a branding iron against your skin, igniting a fury within you that is both righteous and shameful.

You lie in a spooning position, the two of you entwined like vines clinging to each other in a storm. The heat radiating from Joel feels like a sanctuary, a barrier against the outside world, yet the weight of your thoughts is heavy as you drift further into your own mind.

In the dark, you wrestle with the shadows of your past. The image of Pastor Ben’s face looms large in your thoughts, a grotesque reminder of the trust betrayed.

You can still feel the ghost of his hand, a specter lingering just beneath the surface, haunting your skin. With every breath, the bile of betrayal rises in your throat, intertwining with anger—a tempest that threatens to erupt.

You are caught in the eye of a storm, where calm meets chaos, grappling with the lingering questions of why you didn’t see the monster hidden behind the mask of a man of God. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, a reminder that safety is often an illusion.

Meanwhile, Joel is lost in his own labyrinth of thoughts, the weight of the evening pressing heavily on his chest. The man he met at the bar—the specter of danger—lingers in his mind like a shadow refusing to dissipate.

He feels the knot of fear tightening in his gut, an ancient instinct urging him to protect you at all costs. He remembers the words the stranger flung at him, laced with menace, and the realization that the world is a cruel place, full of predators who prey on the innocent.

In this moment, he clings to you as if you were a life raft in turbulent waters. The warmth of your body against his is a reminder that he has something worth fighting for—a reason to face the darkness head-on.

Yet, beneath that fierce resolve lies a flicker of doubt, a gnawing fear that perhaps he can’t shield you from everything, that the ghosts of his past may find a way to reach you.

It eats at him, the thought that the world could steal you away from him just as it had stolen so much before.

Both of you are wrapped in a cocoon of silence, where your breaths mingle and become one. You can feel Joel’s heart beating against your back, a steady drum that soothes you even as your thoughts churn.

It’s a reminder that you are not alone in this battle, that there is strength in the bond you share, even amidst the chaos that swirls around you.

“Promise me,” you whisper into the darkness, “we’ll get through this together.”

Joel tightens his grip around you, his body a fortress. “I promise, doll,” he murmurs, his voice low and steady. “You’re safe with me.”

In that moment, you both find a flicker of hope amidst the storm—two souls entwined, standing against a world that threatens to tear them apart.

Each heartbeat, each breath becomes a testament to your love, a silent vow that even in the darkest of nights, you will hold on to each other, no matter what the dawn brings.

[rafeskai]

Violets for Roses - Rafe Cameron

One-shot inspired by Lana Del Rey's "Violet for Roses"

Ever since I fell out of love with you, I fell back in love with me

And God knows the only mistake that a man can make is tryna make a woman change and trade her violets for roses

Summary: The reader, an aspiring actress, faces a heartbreaking confrontation with Rafe Cameron, who believes her dreams of moving to Los Angeles are unrealistic and wants her to stay in Kildare to build a simpler life with him. Despite her love for him, the reader realizes that sacrificing her ambitions for his vision would mean losing herself.

Pairings: Rafe Cameron x AspiringActress!Reader

Warnings: Angst & just Rafe being really toxic lol.

The fight with Rafe was brewing long before you even knew it. It was in every dismissive scoff when you mentioned auditions, in every time he’d change the subject whenever you’d dream out loud about Los Angeles. It was in every eye roll when you brought up your favorite actresses or directors, the people you’d studied obsessively since high school. And now, it’s spilling over—weeks, maybe even months of resentment unraveling in his bedroom.

“You’re really just gonna throw us away for some… fantasy?” Rafe’s voice is thick with frustration, every syllable weighted. “You’re not some actress, Y/N. You’re just… you. You’re never gonna be one of those people.”

The words sting like a slap. You’ve heard him doubt your dreams before, subtly, gently, but tonight it’s different. Tonight, he doesn’t hold back. “Why do you care so much about this? About some fake Hollywood life?”

You clench your fists, fighting to keep your voice steady. “It’s not fake, Rafe. This is real to me. It’s everything I’ve worked for, everything I want to be.”

“And that means more to you than us?” His question hangs heavy in the air, a trap you can see coming from miles away but can’t avoid. His blue eyes, usually so warm, are cold now, scrutinizing you.

The silence stretches, thick and suffocating. “I don’t want a simple life,” you finally admit, and it feels like exhaling after holding your breath too long. “I don’t want to stay in Kildare and pretend that’s enough for me when it’s not.”

“Why?” he says, his voice low, like he’s afraid of the answer.

“Because I can’t trade my dreams for yours.” The words spill out, your voice cracking under the weight of it all. “I love you, Rafe, but I also love myself. And that means going after this. I’m not going to stay just to keep you happy.”

Rafe’s face softens for a moment, vulnerability breaking through the anger, but it fades quickly, replaced by a steely resolve. “If you leave, don’t expect me to be waiting for you.”

A lump forms in your throat, and you know this is it. If you stay, it’ll be for him, not for you. If you go, it’s a leap into the unknown, one where Rafe might not be in the picture. “Then I guess this is goodbye.”

And with that, you turn and walk away, leaving behind the life he tried to shape for you, the one that never quite fit.

━

Two months later, you’re in Los Angeles, breathing in the open-air scent of Larchmont Village. The warm breeze sweeps across your skin, carrying with it the smell of flowers and freshly brewed coffee. The sun beats down, casting everything in a golden glow, and for the first time, you feel truly free.

It’s a Saturday afternoon, and the girls around you are dressed in sundresses, laughing without a care, exposing bare faces and wide smiles. You smile too, feeling that same joy seep into your bones, like the city itself is welcoming you home. This life, this city—it’s vibrant, messy, electric. It’s everything Kildare wasn’t, everything you were missing.

The Paramount sign sparkles in the distance, a beacon you once only saw in magazines and movie credits, and now, it feels like it’s lighting up just for you. Your heart swells as you look at it, thinking of all the dreams you had, the ones Rafe wanted you to set aside. This city, it doesn’t just allow you to dream; it demands it.

“Ever since I fell out of love with you, I fell back in love with me,” you whisper to yourself, feeling the words settle into your heart. Each syllable is a quiet reminder that loving yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. When you loved Rafe, you’d sacrificed so much of yourself, convincing yourself that his simple dreams were enough. But here, in the warmth of Los Angeles, you’re reclaiming everything you let slip away.

━

You’d never noticed it before, but Rafe’s love had come with conditions. He loved you, yes, but only the parts of you that fit into his life. He was drawn to your fire, but he wanted to tame it, to keep it small and safe so it wouldn’t consume him.

He made you trade your violets for roses, wanted you to choose tradition over the ambition that set your heart ablaze. When you’d talk about acting, he’d say, “That’s great, babe, but don’t you want something real?” As if your dreams weren’t valid, as if they were just fantasies, things to let go of for a white-picket fence, a life that fit his mold. The truck you dreamed of owning, the freedom you craved—he wanted to exchange it for horses and stables, for the steady routine of a life rooted in one place.

And for a while, you let him.

But now, each step you take in L.A. feels like reclaiming a part of yourself. Every coffee shop, every bookstore you stumble into, feels like a universe waiting for you to write your own story. Your days are filled with auditions, with scripts spread across your apartment floor, with nights spent memorizing lines and dreaming of roles you could bring to life.

It’s hard, and you’re not always sure you’ll make it, but it’s your life, and for the first time, it feels entirely yours.

One evening, as you walk down a quiet street, the air still and warm, you think of Rafe. You wonder if he’s missing you, if he’s trying to imagine you in this new world, a world that’s as foreign to him as the one he tried to push you into was to you.

You don’t miss him, though. You miss the girl you were before you let him dim your spark, the girl who once believed she could conquer Hollywood, whose dreams were as boundless as the California sky. And as you walk, the shadows stretch and the quiet settles, you realize that girl is back.

━

One morning, you stand outside a casting agency, the sun warming your face. You close your eyes, inhaling the scent of lilies mixed with the hint of exhaust and coffee from the nearby café. You feel the city’s pulse, its rhythm, and it beats in time with yours.

Rafe had never understood why you’d wanted this life, but that doesn’t matter anymore. The city, with its flashing lights and dusty sidewalks, with its blend of elegance and grit, it understands you. It’s a love that’s pure, that asks for nothing but your own ambition, and it’s a love that feels like freedom.

And so you walk into the building, your heart pounding with nerves and excitement, knowing this is only the beginning.

© 2024 rafeskai | All rights reserved. This fanfiction is a work of fiction inspired by characters from Outer Banks, and no part of it may be reproduced or distributed without permission.

[evolnoomym]

Heart to Heart 🤎

Jackson!Joel Miller x f!reader

Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: Joel and you are out on a ride on a little Autumn Date.

Word count: 755

Warnings: no use of y/n, female reader, post outbreak, reader has no name only a nickname, size difference, one Sarah mention, Ellie is mentioned too, fluff, undefined age gap, possibly hints to something not so good(let’s see if you catch it)

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: this is for @studioghibelli ‘s Writing Challenge. Shoutout to her she created the moodboard, it’s sooooo beautiful. 🫶🏻

Shoutout to @cafekitsune for the dividers 🤎

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly 🫶🏻

Song’s I listened to while writing:

Second Hand Lovers - Oren Lavie

The Whisp Sings - Winter Aid

everything I wanted - Billie Eilish

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

Paris, Texas - Lana Del Rey, SYML

Champagne Coast - Blood Orange

What A Heavenly Way To Die - Troye Sivian

What A Wonderful World - Soap&Skin

Goodbye - Apparat

Moonlight on the River - Mac DeMarco

Tumbledown - Hayley Ross

It’s a beautiful day to ride out for a Date with the one and only Joel Miller. It’s late September when the leaves are turning into a sea of yellow, orange and red specks. The temperatures gradually decrease until one day they completely drop. You’re excited for the first winter you’ll experience in Jackson. 

Joel has been your boyfriend for about 6 months. 

And ever since he asked you to be his, he tries to take you out for a little Date every other week where it’s just you two without any distractions. 

Joel is sitting behind you this time, usually he’s in the front. He’s better at horse riding than you. He knows his horse blue obviously better than you do, still you wanted to have the rains this time. 

You love feeling him so close behind you, a big solid warm wall of a man, your man. 

One of his arms is curled around your waist, hand resting on your belly and the other arm is placed on your thigh with his hand gripping your inner thigh. 

After riding for about an hour you approach the big open field and tell Joel you want to get off. 

Of course the gentleman that he is he helps you down which is probably not a good idea with his bad back. That’s nothing to stop him though.

Once you’re standing on your own two feet you lean up to peck him on one of his scruffy cheeks “Thank you cowboy” and then you tip your imaginary Stetson towards him giggling sweetly. 

Joel is used to your shenanigans at this point. “Ya lucky I think ur cute, Sunny girl.” He smiles but then it turns into something more sorrowful “Sa…- Sarah would’ve loved ya Darlin.” You know how hard it still is to talk about her “Why’s that?” 

“Cuz ya so incredibly kind, gentle, humorous and fearless. Jus like she was.” 

“I’m not fearless Joel, I’m afraid all the time. Most of all about what I would do without you. I’d lose myself.” 

“Don’t worry bout that baby I’m not gonna ever leave ya alone. I promise.” He holds up his little pinky and you intertwine yours with his. Smiling at each other. 

It’s moments like this where you realize how much you love Joel Miller. You love his dark brown eyes, his equally dark brown hair streaked with greys, the curve of his prominent nose and his strong jaw that’s sparsely covered in salt-pepper scruff. 

His broad frame makes him seem unbreakable as does his normally so grumpy attitude towards anyone, but you know he is way more than this. For you and Ellie he tries to let his walls down. 

You grab his hand and tug him forwards so you can walk across the field with blue on his side going along with you two. 

The field is your favorite place to go to and even though it might not be the safest since it’s such an open spot, it’s the prettiest scenery you’ve ever come across. Beyond the field the woods start again and in the far distance you can see the mountains. 

You turn to Joel “You think maybe there’s a lodge somewhere up in the mountains?” 

He thinks about it for a moment and then responds “Yeah maybe, why ya askin?” 

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know maybe if there’s one we could go there in winter as a lil family trip with Ellie.” 

Joel smiles “s’ a nice idea Sunny. When we’re back in Jackson, I’ll ask Tommy to go look with me. Ya gonna get the lodge of your dream Baby.” With that he pulls you close to his chest and presses a kiss to the top of your head. 

Once you’ve crossed the field you turn around to take a look at the stunning sunset. 

You tug at Joel’s jacket to get him to notice 

“Joel, look at how majestic the sunset is.”

He turns and gently laughs and you look at him confused. 

“What?”

“Sunny, the sunsets, they ain’t got nothing on you. Ya the prettiest thing in this world. 

Cheesy old men you think to yourself. 

“I love you Joel.” 

“I love you too Baby.” 

3 months later…..

Kneeling in the snow, all you can think about is how much you wish to rewind time and stop yourself from ever telling Joel about finding that stupid lodge. The bitter reality is, you cannot do anything you have to live with the consequences of your actions. 

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

Npt: @studioghibelli @joelmillerisapunk @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelslegalwhre @thundermartini @almostfoxglove @sizzlingcloudmentality @vivian-pascal @strang3lov3 @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @mrsmando @joelsgreys @janaispunk @the-mandawhor1an @joelalorian @ace-turned-confused @clawdee @penvisions (honestly I’m pretty randomly tagging sorry) 🤎

[hall-of-the-pyromancer]

Know what really pisses me off? When people try to devolve Rei's character as a mouthpiece for Enji. Trying to say she's easily forgiving Enji when it's clear her feelings are (rightfully) conflicted.

In this scene, she makes it clear that she's still too afraid to face Enji yet has optimism. That flower signifies that Enji doesn't forget that he still has a family that he has a lifetime to make up to, even if he's never forgiven. And the idea that the narrative is trying to make Enji easily forgiven when one of his best moments is him dropping this iconic quote

Next, the scene in the hospital.

She doesn't let Enji drown in self-pity, reminding him that everyone in that family has suffered more than he is right now. But she still knows her husband is actively trying to change and doesn't take the chance to fucking put him down unnecessarily like so many people want her to. Enji needs to get back up and help not just his family but also those in need from the 1st war's aftermath.

People who think she's someone suffering from Stockholm Syndrome are full of shit. This is a strong woman, someone who can see a former hateful person wanting to change and gives them the words they need. Trying to use that chance to be full of vitriol and hate will not break the cycle that the Todorokis are trying to escape from. And finally, the Todoroki reunion. She showed up not just to save Toya but Enji as well. She knows he wants to atone and she makes it clear she's saving them both.

And btw, this shows how much Enji regrets what he did and despite the marriage being arranged, he still loves Rei. He doesn't want to lose her too. But Rei doesn't want him to die either. People think that having faith in your former abuser is akin to forgiveness is just...ignorant. She wants him to live to continue atoning and she still has faith that he has changed and wants to do what's right.

Rei Todoroki has my respect for all this.

[pandorasfavorite]

Forced Proximity

AN: notice any errors? I didn’t read over it 💀

Being in your bosses office, was often bad news and you could feel it coming from a mile away. You were quite frankly losing your mind, considering all the bad things you’ve done to land you in his office. It was tense and quiet, even the hard knock on the door wasn’t enough to diffuse it. You had to stop tapping your foot or else you’ll drive yourself mad (which would be too easy considering the circumstances). The last person you were expecting to sit in the chair beside you was Dominik Mysterio. Otherwise known as the legend; Rey Mysterio’s son, a man that has been in this industry since he was a child. You wouldn’t call yourself a fan per se… but the girl inside of you was itching to talk to him or maybe touch him. He looked buff and well dressed, sitting with his legs spread but his face serious.

The man clears his throat with a disappointed face. You whip your head around to look at him, your face a shade brighter at being caught staring at Dominik. “There is no great way to put this… you both are apart of a new story line. You will be dating and you miss, will be joining The Judgement Day”. Your heart stopped.

You sat up completely, you’re practically hanging off your seat in surprise, “With him?!”, you holler without realizing how rude you were being. “Is that a problem?”, Dominik said from beside you, distain written across his face. You turn your head to him, cheeks flushed and embarrassed. His face was agitated and angry, his body tense and his muscles tights and flexed naturally. You swallow down every dirty thing you wanted to say, “No. No, it’s fine, it’s cool”, you rush out. Dominik’s face splits into a small smirk that you didn’t even take notice of, “Good”. Yea, it was going to be a rough few months.

4 months later…..

“Just get the fuck away from me!!”, you slam your way out of the door, the rest of the Judgement Day staring and confused. “The fuck did you do Dom?”, Rhea smacks his arm. He runs a hand through his hair, mouth parted and eyes wild, “I- I don’t even know, all I said was that I couldn’t wait for it all to be over…”. Everyone goes silent, suprised at how idiotic their friend could truly be. “You basically just told her you were excited for her to be out of your life”, Rhea rolls her eyes at her childish friend. Dominik’s eyes go wide and he sits up completely, “That’s not what I meant at all! I swear I wasn’t even talking about that”, his voice has gone frantic.

“Tell her!”, he didn’t have time to register who said what, all he knew was that he had to catch up to you. Thank God you were walking, he was almost afraid that even the sprinting wouldn’t be enough to catch up to you. Then he sees you. “Hey! Hey! Angel just wait up!”, Dominik yells down the hall way while jogging to catch up. You speed up instantly, hollering back at Dominik, “Stop calling me that!”. You can hear his steps getting much closer, “Not until you stop!”.

You spin around on your heels, all of the sudden coming chest to chest; face to face, with Dominik, a man you’ve utterly fallen for. “There, I’ve stopped. Now stop calling me that and leave me be”, you huff trying to turn around again dramatically, only to be pulled back by a helpless Dominik. “I didn’t mean what you think. Not at all I swear”, he holds you by the arms. You don’t say anything, your face says it for you, you couldn’t believe him. “I think I understood you perfectly fine Dominik. No worries I was on the way to get out of this, for your sake”, you say in a near teary state. You wished it wasn’t so easy for him to upset you. His eye widen and his voice goes frantic, exhaling quickly before speaking, “Angel don’t say that, please don’t say that” - “Don’t call me that”.

“I’m sorry, I was talking about everything else. Not you..never you”, his eyes shone with sincerity and honesty.

15 minutes later in Dominik’s hotel room….

“Maybe we should turn off the lights, I look horrible”, you pant out against his lips, your body falling on top of the mattress as you speak. “You’re beautiful, I hate when you talk about yourself like that”, he pulls your legs apart, slipping inside of you when you nod, his thrusts turned particularly hard, his mind drifting to what you have said. “Don’t you like looking at me in the light”, Dominik says confidently, pulling off his shirt in one motion, the last piece of clothing on him. “You are so - so annoying, mhm fuck-, and rude” every stroke makes your body tingle and your mouth fall open with breathless moans. His lips press against the column of your neck, his cock pushing in and out of you so deeply, “Yea? You gonna do something about it? Or keep that pretty mouth shut?”. Part of you wants to flip him over and make a mess of him, to the point where he gasping out begs, the other half of you want to do nothing, instead letting his filthy mouth and thick cock continue to drive you crazy.

You wrap a hand around the back of his neck, pulling his face closer to yours, your soft lips brushing against his, “You think I won’t?”, you open your eyes to meet his. One of his hands squeezes tighter around your thigh, that filthy mouth exhaling in husky pants, “Mami…I know you won’t”. His fingers brush against your sensitive clit just as his lips pressed to yours, his teeth scraping against your bottom lip when you both finally pull away. Your hands reach out to grasp Dominik’s shoulders, the only chance you’ll have to flip you both over. You lift up, his cock sliding out of your cunt just barely; a small moan slipping from your lips. And in an instant your arms are thrown above your head, one of his hands locking your wrists together. “Not tonight baby, your mine to ruin”.

[elllisaaa]

ateez as lana del rey songs - maknae line

-> pairing : ateez maknae line x fem!reader

-> words count : 3.6k words

-> genre : angst, toxic relationships, break-up stories, unrequited love

-> warnings : a loooot of angst under many forms, mentions of complicated childhood, self-depreciating thoughts

-> sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist | 1k event masterlist

hyung line | maknae line

CHOI SAN - CHERRY

Your favorite fruit had always been cherry. You loved the taste, the color and its sweetness. The same sweetness San brought in your life by his mere presence. He made everything better just with his smile. You were living a happy life, you loved living, you loved your job, your friends, your family.  Everything was going well, and San made all of that even better. At that time you couldn’t have been happier. 

At first, it was perfect. He was perfect. On the first date, he offered you flowers and walked you home without asking anything else in return. On the second date, he took you to the museum you wanted to visit for years and had told him about in your texts. And when he became your boyfriend, he still put in some efforts to prove that he was deserving of your love and trust. And you did the same for him. On the third date, you brought him flowers, because he had told you that no one had offered him flowers before. On the fourth date, you brought him to the flower garden he wanted to go to for some time. And when you became his girlfriend, you still had all these marks of affection and little gifts for him, because you were so grateful that he was a part of your life.   

For you, love had always been a one-sided thing : you loved people but they never loved you back, never loved you as much as you did, never gave you as much as you gave to them. And you had accepted that. But San made you believe in love, in real love - the one that was like feeling no fear when you were standing in the front of danger. And he made you feel like that : he made you feel powerful, confident, fulfilled.

The first few months were wonderful, like a fairytale came true. Every one of your friends were happy for you, all your girl friends were jealous of how good San was treating you and they all wished they had a guy like that. You were so blinded by all the love you felt for him that you didn’t notice the first signs. It started with asking you to stay with him instead of going out with your friends because he wasn’t feeling good. And then it was making a scene about your guy friends being too close to you. Little by little, San became more possessive, more controlling of the things you could wear, eat or post on socials. But for you, it was just because he loved you so much, it was nothing weird. 

But slowly, you began to lose all the confidence he had given to you. Every comment he made about your style, your hair, your body, your makeup, your clothes or the way you behaved - all of that got to your head, and you started to believe him when he said you could never get better than him because he was the only one who would ever want you. The cherry taste of his lips was now much more bittersweet, it did more harm than good, but you didn’t want to let him go. Even if you were falling to pieces when you were with him, you stayed. 

“- I think we should break up.

- Break up ? You want to break up with me, Y/N ? Are you serious right now ?”

You nodded but immediately lowered your head, a little afraid of the anger transforming San’s face. He was not the same man you learned to love, he was not the same man that used to buy you all of your favorite food when you had your period. He had turned into a cold-hearted monster you couldn’t recognize anymore. 

“- I… It just doesn’t feel like it used to be, Sannie. I’m sorry but… You’ve changed so much, I don’t even know who you are anymore. 

- I’m still your boyfriend, I’m still the same. 

- But it doesn’t feel like you’re my boyfriend. I just don’t feel comfortable anymore when I’m with you.”

You jumped in your place on the couch when you felt his fingers gripping your jaw and forcing you to look up into his furious eyes. 

“- But I love you.

- Love ? Is it real love ?”

He got closer to you, his face only inches away from yours, his lips brushing against yours as he talked more and more, his honey-like voice intoxicating all of your senses.

“- I taught you what love was, baby, don’t make me laugh.”

You really wanted to leave this time, but his taste was as addictive as the ones of the cherries from the orchard of your childhood, and you didn’t want to let it go, you weren’t ready yet.

SONG MINGI - FUCK IT, I LOVE YOU

Mingi had always been an incredible best friend. Whenever you needed him, he was there. Whenever you called him, he would answer in seconds. And you were so grateful to have found him, so grateful to have him in your life. So the day you realized you were in love with him was like a nightmare came true. You couldn’t fall in love with the person you held on to the most ; it could only end badly and you needed him too much to ever risk losing him. 

So you kept your feelings for yourself for years. You watched Mingi kiss other girls. You listened to him talking about his first crush, about his first girlfriend, about his first heartbreak. You were the one holding him tight when he cried because of the bitch that had cheated on him when you would have given up an arm to have the chance to go out with him. 

As time went on, you thought it would have been easier to deal with the cuts wounding your heart every time you saw him looking at another girl with adoration in his eyes. But it wasn’t. Having matured didn’t bring you more cleverness, it only made you realize how perfect of a boyfriend Mingi would have been, and how you could never be with him because you were nowhere near his type, nowhere near as pretty and interesting as the girls he dated. 

As time went on, it became more difficult to be around him without constantly thinking about the way you wanted to kiss him, to tell him everything you felt, to ask him to stop seeing that girl and choose you instead. But you tried to keep yourself under control ; it was what you had done for the past few years and he didn’t notice anything, you just had to keep going until you found someone better than him. 

And you really tried to find a man that could be as good as him. It was actually a joke Mingi loved to do - reminding you of all the dates you went on and that none of them led to something more. What he didn’t know was that it was because of him, because you couldn’t help but compare them to Mingi. If one of these guys told you about his musical project, you immediately thought about Mingi. If one of these men mentioned something silly he did when he was a teenager and that it was something you and Mingi were used to doing too, you thought about him too. Every word they said, everything they did - you compared it to Mingi and how much better he was, how he was the best but you could never have him. You did everything you could to get him off your head, but it was impossible. 

If only you had the courage to confess, there were so many things you would say to him, you wanted him. But it was obvious in the way he always presented you as his best friend, his sister, his bro, that he only saw you as that, and not more, never more. Though, you didn’t really have the choice to do so when one of your friends drunkenly confessed your feelings to him. You hated her the second Mingi told you what she had said, but you hated yourself even more for trusting her in the first place.

“- So it’s true ? She didn’t lie ?”

You wanted to deny it so bad. You wanted to tell him that she was joking, that she was drunk and out of her mind, that she must have interpreted something you said in the wrong way. But it was too late to go back now, right ?

“- I… Fuck it, I love you Mingi, I really do. She didn’t lie.”

You could see on his face, in his pained eyes, in his smile saying “sorry” that every dream you had about him returning your feelings were only that - dreams. You could already feel tears gathering in your eyes. You heard Mingi talking, heard him tell you that he only saw you as a friend, as the sister he never had, as someone he could count on, but not like that, never like that. And deep down, you knew that it would happen one day. But you wish it would have lasted a little longer, wish that you could’ve stayed by his side a little longer, wish that he would hold you or just say that he was yours, because it was killing you slowly. But it will never happen, and you have to be realistic. 

“- I’m sorry Y/N, if I had known you had these kinds of feelings for me, I would’ve never acted the way I did. And I’m so sorry if I led you on or made you believe that I felt the same.

- Please, just tell me we’re still friends. I can bear the thought of never having you, but I still need you to be a part of my life.”

There was a silence, a silence so loud you knew what it meant. But still, Mingi answered.

“- Of course, you’ll always be my best friend.”

And he pulled you into a hug, but it didn’t feel as good as before. Because you knew he was lying, because you knew it was a way to let you down slowly, because you knew it was his way of trying not to hurt you. But you loved him and he didn’t, so there was no way for this to end well. You could move out and change countries, put oceans between the two of you and you would still think about him everyday. 

JUNG WOOYOUNG - WHITE MUSTANG

Wooyoung was everything you dreaded in a guy : he was overconfident, arrogant, condescending and he was well known for being a fuckboy. Despite knowing all of that, the summer air hit differently, and the fact that it was your last year in college kind of pushed you in the wrong direction. So yes, despite knowing who he was and the way he behaved with girls, you still got involved with him, you still gave in when he whispered in your ear at a party that he wanted to take you up in his room and make you scream his name. You gave in and it was probably the biggest mistake you ever made. 

You thought it would end here, that you would wake up alone in his bed, leave, and never find yourself coming back to his place  again. But you woke up by his side, his arms still wrapped around your waist and his face buried in your neck. He let you run your hands through his hair and you talked as if you had been friends for years. It felt so odd but also so good to discover another part of him, to discover that he was not what you thought he was. But with you, he was not the same, and when you looked at him in this new light, you realized you were only being influenced by the rumors going around about him. 

Of course, you were still not dumb : you knew you were not in a relationship, you knew it was only a fuck buddies arrangement, but it honestly suited you liked that. You had good dick with no strings attached and could still go around and fuck and date with other guys, which was everything you wanted for this summer. 

But you didn’t plan the way you got way too addicted to Wooyoung. It was unavoidable, apparently, as all the girls he “opened up” to also fell for him. But at that time, you didn’t care, you felt special and even if he held you in his arms just a little too tight sometimes, you didn’t care. You just wanted him, and to feel like the only one for a little much longer. And he did make you feel like that when he was taking you on late night drives because he couldn’t sleep, he did make you feel like that when he called you specifically when he needed to unwind the tension. 

It was very wrong of you to fall for someone like him, you knew it, everyone around you knew it and told you so. But it was a little too late now that your heart was attached, and he was getting a part of that - he was gonna hit you like lightning, and you knew it, but just like a butterfly attracted by the light in the dark, you couldn’t let him go, you were drown right back to him every time you tried to leave. 

“- Why are you calling me, Y/N ? I told you I was busy today…”

You pouted on the other end of the line, because you were still in a good mood, because you still thought that you could adjust to him, mold him into your perfect boyfriend. 

“- But I really need you, Woo. You left so early this morning, and I was still so wet. Can’t you just pass by quickly ?

- I can’t, I told you, and you need to respect my fucking boundaries.”

The characteristic sounds signaling the end of the call washed off your seductive smile away from your face. This was like a reality check - one you should’ve picked on a while before. He wasn’t always here for you, he wouldn’t let everything down to come to you like you did many times for him. You were stupid for thinking that you were as important to him as he was to you. It was dumb, but you couldn’t help it. However, when he came to your place that night, and you saw the confident smirk spreading on his lips, you felt nothing but disappointment at yourself for having been so blind. 

“- Why are you here ? Thought you were too busy.

- I was, but I cannot resist you when you’re so needy for me…”

Wooyoung tried to step forward and kiss you as he usually did as soon as he got to your apartment. But not this time. This time, you pushed him away, averting his eyes. 

“- What’s going on now ? Two hours ago, you were ready to beg me to come fuck you and now you’re rejecting me ?

- It’s just… I was such a fool for believing that you could change all the ways you’ve been living.

- What does that mean ?”

Both of you knew very well what it meant, you knew it, and he understood it too. But it was too hard to tell him face to face how you felt, it would feel too real and you couldn’t put up with that. 

“- You know what I meant. And no need to tell me that I’m dumb and that you had warned me, I know that. So you can… Go away and forget about me because I know you don’t date, you made that very clear. 

- Yeah, I don’t date. But I had a great time with you, you know ?

- Me too, Wooyoung.”

He kissed one last time, and closed the door behind him, like he did so many times. But today, it felt different. Different because it was the first time he really wanted a girl to get attached. Different because he was almost ready to give up everything for you. Different because you were maybe the only one he wanted to stay with. But life clearly didn’t want him to be happy, at least not with you.

CHOI JONGHO - HAPPINESS IS A BUTTERFLY

Jongho had never been the best to express his emotions or feelings to other people, even with his closest friends it was often difficult for him to let go of what he kept for himself. He had always been lost between what people called anger, love, friendship, happiness. Everything was very confusing, and he didn’t always know how to separate them from one another. 

And when you came into his life, he was determined to sort every feeling out so that he could be honest and the best boyfriend for you. Or at least, that was what Jongho thought he would be able to do. He really tried to be more open with you, but it was so difficult at times to verbalize what he felt like you did so easily. 

He was glad you were putting in so much effort to help him, and it made him feel so guilty to not be able to do the same for you. Whenever he was feeling something he couldn’t decipher, you were always here to help him out and comfort him. But whenever you were the one feeling sad or frustrated, Jongho couldn’t even understand what made you feel that way. He didn’t know how to communicate, he didn’t know how to bring you the same relief you gave to him. 

At first, it didn’t bother you that much. You had always been very aware of your own emotion, and by force, you had to learn to control them all from a young age. So being the only one you could count on whenever you felt bad or overstimulated was not a problem. At first, at least. Because it was not like Jongho didn’t put any effort into your relationship either. You could see that he really tried to listen to your advice, that he tried to make the first move sometimes - inviting you on a date without you having to sugerate it beforehand, or simply bringing you something home from the grocery store without you having to remind him that you liked that type of snack. And you thought you could accommodate all of this ; with the lack of “i love you”’s, the lack of communication, the lack of tender gesture of affection.

Yes, at first, it was alright, because you thought that you could get past all of that. Because even if Jongho had some trouble in expressing his feelings, he was with you for a good reason. Because even if it was sometimes difficult to understand what was going through his head, you were happy together. Because even if he rarely told you so, he loved you, right ?

“- I… I’m the one who doesn’t understand today. What do you mean, Jongho ?

- I mean exactly what I said Y/N. I’m a little lost, and I think I need some time by myself to know if I really love you.”

You were stunned, too stunned to know what to say, and for once, the roles were reversed. People had warned you that Jongho had a habit of hurting people without really knowing what he was doing. But if he was a serial killer, then what was the worst that could happen to a girl who was already hurt ? You didn’t listen to them, and you traced your own path. Maybe you should’ve been a little more careful. 

“- But… All this time we spent together, was it nothing to you ?

- I told you : I don’t know.”

As always, you tried to be understanding. You let him have his space, you let him come back and get away from you as many times as he needed, you let him be as indecisive as he wanted. You let him tell you that he loved you, and then that he always saw you as a friend. You let him tell you that you were the only girl he ever had true feelings for, and then that he had no feelings at all for you. 

“- You have to be honest with me now, I can’t take it anymore Jongho. All this back and forth… It’s too much for me.

- I thought you were the clever one when it came to emotions. 

- It doesn’t mean that I can’t get hurt ! Do you want me, or do you not ? I heard one thing, now I’m hearing another… I need a real answer, please.”

His glistening eyes were enough proof that all of that affected him too, but it wasn’t enough for you. Even when he kissed you and tried to put everything he had ever felt for you into that kiss, it wasn’t enough to convince your heart that he was being genuine. 

“- I’m sorry, okay ? I would love to give you that answer but I can’t. I need a little more time, if you’ll allow me. All I want is to make you happy.”

But it had been some time since you’ve been happy by his side. Suddenly, happiness became a butterfly that you tried to catch every night, but that you could never reach for some reason. And maybe it was wrong to grant him another chance when he already made you miserable, but you still wanted to try.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

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[quitealotofsodapop]

Acabo de terminar de ver la parte de la familia Bull Demon en Black Myth Wukong y temi lo que suponia, el cielo queria desacerse de el por rechazar su oferta de unirse a ellos y a Buda... Todo porque queria volver a casa y si no tenian a la bestia con ellos la exterminaria... Dios todo esto es tan triste... el pobre mono no lo dejan en paz y me imagino que cuando sus reliquias se dispersaron y cuando ''nacio'' Destinado lo unico que tenia consigo era el baculo del rey mono (Talvez su piel de tigre no se)

Ahora me gustaria un final alterno en donde Wukong termina de volver a la vida, logre ver a Destinado y lo reconozca como su hijo (Me lo imagino tocar su cara y acercandose para olerlo o al menos como un padre mono viendo y reconociendo a su cria por primera vez ;v;)

Y esta cosa es Red Boy... parece un diablillo dgasvdhas

translated via google:

"I just finished watching the Bull Demon family part of Black Myth Wukong and I was afraid of what he was supposed to do, heaven wanted to get rid of him for rejecting their offer to join them and Buddha… All because he wanted to go back home and if they didn't have the beast with them he would exterminate it… God this is all so sad… the poor monkey won't be left alone and I imagine that when his relics were dispersed and when Destiny was "born" the only thing he had with him was the staff of the monkey king (Maybe his tiger skin, I don't know) Now I would like an alternate ending where Wukong ends up coming back to life, manages to see Destiny and recognizes him as his son (I imagine him touching his face and getting closer to smell him or at least like a father monkey seeing and recognizing his child for the first time ;v;) (*image of Red Boy*) And this thing is Red Boy… it looks like a little devil dgasvdhas"

Wukong denying godhood and just wanting to go home is so sad, and for him to lose everything because of it is even sadder. Especially since he has long since grown from the reckless young monkey who wanted to be equal to heaven, only to be punished for rejecting such acclaim as a wizened sage.

I love an alternate ending where Sun Wukong is truly revived - but The Destined One has to sacrifice his own accumulated powers to do so. The Destined One is then reduced to his true form... a baby monkey. Or even a fresh Stone Egg. With the King's Mind restored, The Destined One must form from nothing once more.

Wukong would come to his senses with confused delight - only to calm when he sees the small grey-furred cub where the Destined One once stood.

Wukong repays his fragmented soul by giving him the best thing he could think of; a good childhood.

Zhu Bajie faints when he sees his pilgrim brother once more.

And as for Red Boy... he does certainly look red! The horns and white hair you could see came from his father! XD