#he's Sexy Lexy for a reason

[cinnamonanddean]

Terrible episode to be objectifying him...but titties.

[ronearoundblindly]

LEXI!!! I need your take on this! I love your every cevans + Bucky headcanons. I tune in every time. You just grasp the characters like no one else. I love your mind.

I saw this and thought it was funny

https://www.tumblr.com/autumnrose40/765173801720987648/omg-lol

How would each of the characters react to you calling them daddy as a joke? And maybe who would be into the daddy kink during actual sex? Like who would be into it.. or not all. Maybe some would only be into it if they thought the reader was so they would just go along but not get any real pleasure of it themselves. I GOTTA KNOW.

Love you <3

Link here. That is so sweet of you to say💜💜💜 I try really hard to differentiate these characters so that we continue to get the experience they are complete individuals. I'm glad it's coming through in the words!

Warnings for inference to smut and bedroom petnames/nicknames. Nothing graphic/explicit. Full disclosure: it's not my bag, personally, so I might not know enough about the 'daddy'-dynamic to be strictly fair here. As with all kinks, there are proper/consensual ways and there are usury ways they manifest.

Ari Levinson

In a surprise development to absolutely no one, oh yes, Ari's very open to it. However, he is 1000% not into infantilization. 'Baby' is a nickname only; he hates the idea of you behaving like a child or treating you like a child. Ari won't do it. (Sorry, I know this is a big thing in fic with him, but I don't see it.) He would enjoy playing it off in public, acting like it's a funny joke, and in private, he would enjoy the sexiness of it. Ari...doesn't exactly have endless patience. He enjoys the obedience that comes with using this nickname since you're normally saying 'yes' to whatever he asked about...plus it usually leads to sex. Duh.

Andy Barber

Even after having children, calling him 'Daddy' has a huge ick-factor for Andy--not even 'Mom'/you can say it without him cringing. If referring to him in front of the kid(s), he'll let 'Dad' slide, but still kinda prefers 'your father' or 'your dad.' There are quite a few reasons he's not comfortable with it, but most of them stem from his job and too much control asserted over various victims. Andy prefers independence and equality in his partners. He's less worried about bad things happening to you if you're adult, aware, and ready to defend your boundaries.

Curtis Everett

Turns around with an amused little 'what?' Gets flustered like the guy in the video. Maybe into it every now and then when things get super hot and heavy in bed, but Curtis isn't gunning for the title by any means.

Jake Jensen

So. many. giggles. Jake will play along but it doesn't fit him IRL. He's not dominant or overbearing or anything else 'daddy' sometimes implies; he doesn't even buy you that much stuff lol! I could see it being used in a smidge of roleplay, but otherwise, nah.

Johnny Storm

He loves the idea but hasn't really earned it, ya know? Like Jake, Johnny doesn't organize anything for control, and I'm sorry to point out but he's not exactly the type to provide much more than a body, some income, and enough emotions to get by as a partner. I get that sounds awful, but you know I'm right. Keeps the nicknames fun and flirty. They aren't TITLES, though, if you catch my drift.

Jimmy Dobyne

Why would you say that? Seriously, why?

He outright doesn't understand. Once you explain, he's appalled, and only if you asked consistently would Jimmy allow it. Doesn't do anything for him personally and isn't something he'd want his friends to know you do.

James Mace

Mace goes very quiet when you first say it, at most a smirk passes his lips. Once you two are home, he'll choose a moment (probably over cooking dinner since he can quickly change the subject if necessary) to discuss it. He's into it if you are (and only if and when you are) but not in public, absolutely never in public.

Lloyd Hansen

Oh, come on! It's practically a requirement, plus his legal name isn't all that sexy to moan in bed. 'Daddy' sounds muuuuuch better. (He's, uh, he's earned it, too. 100%. Just saying.) Lloyd enjoys other people seeing you call him 'daddy' too. Sometimes, he thinks that kind of submission and loyalty sets an example to the randos in his orbit. Very, very into it.

Ransom Drysdale

RoAR!Ran, in-story, has a fantasy that you/women would call him that--coughspoilerscough--but generally, I also see him as a fan of this nickname. Since he's meaner than Johnny, it fits better, though still relatively unearned. Ransom takes sooooo long to open up and connect with anyone that all it is is empty control for a while. It makes more sense that Ransom enjoys this in bed; he doesn't behave much like a sugar daddy or even a boyfriend in public.

Steve Rogers

I don't see a world where Steve gets the conventional enjoyment out of this as any sexual nickname. He's not fond of that kind of innuendo (or degradation) and will launch into a lesson on respect if he hears someone else use it. He isn't a prude so much as it doesn't fit, thus even if you are into it, Steve puts his foot down. Hard pass.

FRI!Steve might be fine when, and only when, he's a real dad. Little grossed out otherwise, but if you refer to him as 'daddy' to your child and then keep calling him that from time to time, he gets it. It's easier and probably slips out just like 'mommy' does for him. Should you say it while you two are intimate, he might ask if you think he treats you like a baby. He would never want to give you that impression.

Bucky Barnes

I could see both ways. Depends on his exact relationship dynamic with you and likely his mood, too. Bucky gets lost sometimes--in both good and bad feelings--so can I see him diving so deep into wringing you dry of passion and pleasure that he relishes the title? Yeah. Yeah, I can. He'd hold you so close as you beg for daddy, but whether you want him to stop or keep going is anyone’s guess. Bucky likewise can dissociate and shutdown to (how do I put this?) conventional humanity. It's not going to make him feel included in the world to call him by a fake title or imply that he is responsible for caring for you. That's overwhelming. Buck needs the simple life; he's just a man and you're just his girl. Nothing needy about it. He doesn't need to take over anything. He just needs to breathe and make it to tomorrow.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would... Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

@brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn

@late-to-the-party-81 @bigtreefest @mistressmkay @astheskycries

@rogersbarber @blogbog710 @yenzys-lucky-charm

[ladylooch]

Nico comforting one of his girls after a nightmare 🥹

Like they are trying to wake up Lexi, cause everyone knows you run to mom. But she is out cold! Nico wakes up and handles the chasing away of Monsters

Captain Nico Hischier sinks into the couch in the living room with a cold beer can resting on his bottom lip. The well-earned liquid sloshes between his teeth and down his throat in steady, delicious gulps.

It's been another day of successfully keeping his girls alive while solo parenting. His wife and sister are off on their annual girls trip in Napa, tipsy off the tannins and sunshine offered by the coastal state. The only reason Nico knows this is because his wife sent a particularly slutty picture of her in the bathroom thirty minutes ago. He is hoping for a follow up FaceTime call later.

He thinks he has earned some sexy time with his wife after his day.

Tonight was bath time. He successfully got all girls cleaned and tucked into bed for their bed time stories within an hour. It has to be record time for him. He rarely drinks when it is just him and the girls, but one 12oz beer will be fine as a celebratory treat.

"MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!"

Nico jolts upright at the scream of terror launching from upstairs, choking on his second sip of beer.

"I'm coming, Mackie!" Nico calls as he hits the bottom of the stairs, his barely started beer forgotten on the coffee table. He takes the stairs two at a time.

"No! No! I want mama! MAMA!!!!" Mack stars to scream when Nico comes into the room.

"Sweets, baby, she isn't here. I'm here. You're safe."

"No! Only mama knows how to get the shadows away!" Nico blinks, cupping Mack's teary cheeks in his big hands.

"Sweets." Nico tries again in a measured voice. "What shadows?"

"The man in the corner. He tries to eat me!" Nico glances around the room, not seeing anything. A panicked part of his brain thinks, maybe she sees ghosts, which to be honest freaks Nico the fuck out. But, knowing his four year old has an imaginative brain, he figures going down that road so quickly is premature.

"The only people in this room are me and you, baby. You are safe." He reiterates to her, smoothing his thumbs on her wet cheeks. Mack grips his forearms, little fingers tugging at his arm hair as she tries to dig into his skin. She pulls herself into a kneeling position, getting close to his face.

"He is right there." She whispers with wide, terrified eyes. "Don't you see him?"Nico slides his gaze to the right, trying to figure out what she is saying.

Finally, he sees the 'figure' in question. It's a lamp in the corner of her room that has a shadow looking like a hooded figure crawling up her wall in the nightlight glow.

"I don't like it! I don't like it!" She screams in a whisper at him.

It's at this moment, he remembers his wife telling him not to turn the night light on and instead use said lamp for her bedtime lighting. He had remembered the previous nights, but not tonight in the rush of bath time.

Shit.

"How does mommy get rid of it?" Nico pivots, rubbing a hand along her full back to comfort her more.

"She banishes it with light."

"Okay." Nico nods. Simple enough. He hauls Mack up into his arms, protecting her from the 'figure' with his body as he walks across the room to the light switch. Mack squeezes her eyes shut until the flick of the switch sounds through the room. Her body melts into Nico's in relief. "Better?"

"Yeah." Mack sighs. She swallows hard, pulling away to look at her dad's face. "Can I sleep with you?"

"Sure." He knows Lexi will make fun of him for it, but he scared the shit out of her and feels really bad, so he will concede his pillow for tonight. With this decision, it also means Nico won't be finishing that beer downstairs. He makes a mental note to wake up early to take care of it before the girls are up.

"Daddy?" Nico hears the soft call from Lucie's room as he walks by with Mack.

"Yeah, Lu?"

"Can I sleep with you too?!"

And that's how Nico Hischier ended up with no sleep and four little feet kicking him all. night. long.

[sydsaint]

I would love to see another fic featuring the three cocky sexy boyfriends Austin Theory, Grayson Waller and La Knight.

My fav trio tbh

The Smackdown GM gets some exciting news about a promotion as well as getting involved in another incident where she finds Waller, Theory, and Knight coming to her rescue.

The arena is buzzing with excitement for Smackdown's season premiere tonight. All of the big names have been scheduled to show up for the show, including your boss, Triple H. 

"Adam, will you stop pacing like that?" You ask Pearce from your desk as he paces endlessly around the room. "You're making me dizzy." 

"Sorry, Y/N." Pearce comes to a stop in front of your desk and fixes his unkempt tie. "How are you not nervous about tonight?" He asks you. "Hunter said in his email that he has an announcement that had to do with both of us." He reminds you. 

You shrug and tap your pen against your desk. "So? Why are you worried about it? Hunter didn't mention that it was anything bad did he?" You ask. "And as far as you and I know, we haven't done anything wrong. Have we?"

"No." Adam shakes his head. "But still,"

"Just relax, Pearce." You flash him an assuring smile. "I'm going to head down to the production truck to make sure they have everything ready for the show. You go ahead and get ready for Hunter, and I'll meet up with you later, okay?" You rise to your feet. 

Adam nods and walks back over to his desk. "Alright. But please don't be late to meet with Hunter." He asks you. 

"Mhm. Try not to have a heart attack while I'm gone, Pearce." You muse before walking out the door. 

You head down to the production truck and check to make sure that everything is in order for the night. On your way back to the office, you pass by the backstage interview setup and see Lexie interviewing Carlito and Bobby Lashley. You watch for a moment and are about to walk away when suddenly Montez and Angelo come up from behind the set and attack Carlito. 

"Shit!" You curse and hurry over to the set before any serious damage can be done. 

Lexie flies past you to get out of the way and you jump between Bobby wielding a chair and Carlito laid out on the floor. "Hey! Put it down!" You shout at Bobby, your hands held out in front of you. 

Lashley stops mid-swing and you flinch but stand your ground. He lowers the chair to his side and glares at you. But when you remain unmoved, he storms off with Montez and Angelo. 

"Someone get medical over here now!" You shout at a few bystanding stagehands. 

The medical staff arrived a few minutes later and help Carlito out. You take a moment to compose yourself and get ready to hurry back to the office before you're late. Zelina Vega and Bayley interrupt you arguing about what went down at Fastlane a week ago. 

"She got in the way and almost cost Iyo her title!" Bayley barks at you. 

"Well, she wasn't even supposed to be down there!" Zelina whines back. 

Frustrated, and knowing that you're about to be late, you glare at both women. "Enough!" You shout. "I want both of you out in the ring in ten minutes! You two can solve this little dispute out there." 

Bayley and Iyo both nod and head off for their match. With the dispute settled, you hurry back to the office before it's too late. 

When you arrive at the office, Pearce is standing by his desk and talking to LA Knight, Austin Theory, and Grayson Waller. Confused as to why Pearce would be talking with the three men that you're usually tasked with dealing with, you head over to them. 

"What are you three doing here?" You walk over to the group. "Pearce? What's going on?? You ask Adam. 

"Y/N!" Grayson and Austin turn around in unison when they hear your voice. 

Knight turns around as well and sets a tentative hand on your arm. "Y/N, sweetheart, are you alright?" He asks you. 

"Yeah, we heard that Bobby Lashley almost smashed you out with a chair," Austin adds. 

"What the hell happened out there?" Grayson asks you. 

You look at Pearce, realizing that the reason Knight, Waller, and Theory are in the office is because they came looking for you. "Lashley, Ford, and Dawkins attacked Carlito while he was doing his interview with Lexie." You explain. "I stepped in to ensure they didn't seriously hurt him, and Lashley had a chair in his hands." 

"That neanderthal didn't hit you with the chair, did he?" Knight asks you. 

"No, he stopped himself and put it down." You shake your head. 

Austin and Grayson share a look of relief and Knight nods. Pearce on the other hand, looks like he's about to come undone. "Right, I told you three that she was fine." Adam gestures to you. "Now can you three please leave?" He asks. 

"Now hold on a minute!" Knight shakes his head. "We ain't done here." 

"Yeah." Grayson agrees. "Bobby Lashley can't just go walking around unchecked after almost hurting Y/N like that." He insists. 

"Not while we're here." Austin agrees. 

You smile to yourself at the boy's protectiveness of you, but you know that Pearce is already stressed enough about tonight. You put a hand on Grayson and Austin's shoulders and usher the pair over to your desk with Knight at your side. 

"Alright you three, I appreciate the concern for me." You smile at the trio. "It's sweet you know you guys care enough to co-exist when it comes to me. But Pearce and I have an important meeting that's supposed to start any minute now. So will you three please head back to the locker room? For me?" You ask them. 

"Yeah, alright." Knight nods. "But this conversation ain't over, sweetheart." He assures you. 

Grayson and Austin nod in agreement. "Yeah, Lashley's going to get his." Austin huffs. 

"You just leave it to us, babe." Grayson nods. 

The trio finally leaves so you and Pearce are alone again. You lean on your desk and Pearce walks over to you. 

"Are you really alright?" Pearce asks you. 

"Yes, Adam, I'm fine." You assure him with a nod. "If I wasn't then I'm pretty sure that Bobby Lashley and the Street Profits would be in an ambulance by now." You joke with a laugh. 

Pearce flashes a hint of an amused smile. "Yes, those three do make quite the intimidating trio." He muses. "It's a pain in the ass. Sometimes I wish that I was just in charge of Raw, you know?" He asks you. "You're more than capable of handling Smackdown by yourself, Y/N. Especially with those three at your side." 

"What a coincidence." Hunter suddenly appears in the doorway. 

"Hunter!" Pearce snaps to attention. "I didn't hear you come in." 

You stop leaning on your desk and smile at Hunter as he shuts the door. "Hunter, it's good to see you." You shake his hand firmly. 

"It's always a pleasure to see you, Y/N." Hunter nods. "And you as well, Adam. The two of you have been doing phenomenal work on both Raw and Smackdown." He adds. 

"Thank you, sir." You nod, and Pearce does the same. 

Hunter sits down behind your desk and Pearce pulls a chair out so the two of you can sit from across from him. "As I'm sure the two of you know, Survivor Series is coming up as our next paid live event." He reminds you. "Well, I've made the decision to bring back the brands war to boost our ratings for the end of the year. So, I'm splitting the two of you up. One for Raw, one for Smackdown. And I'm doing you the further courtesy of letting you choose." He explains. 

You and Pearce share a look. It's like all of your prayers are being answered. You both turn back to Hunter and you smile at him. "I think I'll stay here on Smackdown, if that's okay with you, Pearce?" You look at him with a joking smile. 

"That's fine with me." Pearce nods with a knowing smile. 

"Perfect!" Hunter claps his hands together happily. "I look forward to seeing the two of you work to make some friendly competition." He shakes both your hands again before making his exit from the office. 

Pearce laughs when Hunter is gone and you can't help but smile while you text your group chat with Knight, Waller, and Theory about the exciting news. You also mean to check up on them to see what revenge plan they've managed to come up with. 

"Good luck on Raw, Pearce." You smile at him. 

"And good luck to you as well, Y/N." Pearce agrees. "You and your harem of boyfriends." He jokes. 

[penncilkid]

Hey PK! I'd love to hear about Midnight Cravings for your rarepair ask game ଘ(✿˵•́ ᴗ •̀˵)

Oh Aether, you better strap yourself in, 'cause this features your man (/lh).

I cannot for the life of me remember where the vision for this ship came from, but all I know is that one night, me and Lexi Moon sat in a call for hours talking about how this all starts in a Lowe's parking Lot.

The short version: Midnight Cravings refers to the pairing between Sam, Asher, and David.

No, I'm not kidding when I say this all starts in a Lowe's parking lot (/lh). In the version of canon for this pairing, "Angel" and "Baaabe" aren't present, meaning Asher and David are still roommates/living together. They're best friends who are both pining but far too scared to actually make a move one way or the other. Now, on one fateful night, Sam and Asher meet formally for the first time. Ash is leaving the store, having been there to pick something up for the apartment. As he's leaving, he spots Sam and is like "Hey, I think I know you! You're one of the vampires from the Solaire clan, right?" Meanwhile, Sam is like "...Who are you?" "Asher. Beta of the Shaw Pack." "..." "What...?" "I just… I thought you'd look… more… I don't know" "Like what~? Are you saying I don't look like a sexy lumberjack?" "That is not what I meant." But Sam's laughing, so you already know the vibes are there (/pos).

The two get to talking for a good bit in the parking lot until the lights start to go out/the store is closing for the night. Asher asks Sam if he'll need any help with his purchases, essentially offering to help unload stuff if Sam wants. Which is how Asher ends up at the residence of the southern vamp. While the two are at his place, the southern hospitality is out in full force. Sam offers Ash something to drink, the two pick up their conversation from before— which eventually drifts to David. Based on how Asher's talking about him, Sam assumes and asks if David and Asher are dating. However, Asher quickly sets the record straight, clarifying that they're friends. It's obvious that admitting that is complicated, and Asher tries to play it off as more of a joke, saying something along the lines of "Sometimes, I just wish I could forget, you know?" (About what? Yes.)

So what does Sam do? Offers to be a distraction.

It starts out tame enough. Music is put on, Sam offers to cook if Asher hasn't had anything to eat, and they're both subtly flirting with each other. Asher, wanting to be proactive, asks directly what things are going to look like between the two of them. Sam replies with something along the lines of "You tell me, Pup. I'm down for whatever you're feeling up to— Whether that's tonight or down the line."

Almost immediately after that, Asher gets a text from David. Originally, Ash had been gone to go to the store. While he's known to get distracted and such, it had been long enough that David was starting to get worried. ou can see the complicated feelings clouding Asher's face in real time, the pining, the sadness, the frustration— Sam takes the phone from Asher's hand and sets it face down. "Look at me. You get to call the shots tonight. You want out of your head? Tell me what you want." And Asher is looking. Sam texts back "Ran into a friend, don't wait up. I'll tell you tomorrow." And when Asher looks at him again, he's smiling but with an apparent, underlying sadness. "I want to forget. Please." And it's easy for Ash to fall into this because instead of dealing with all the pining and chasing after David, he's fully in the present.

Now all that right there? Night one. Consider that the appetizer to all that the ship offers/becomes later on. Sam and Asher keep up this situationship/friends with benefits-esque dynamic for awhile, enjoying the bond shared. While this is all going on, David is starting to notice the shifter's new bond with the vampire, and it's stirring up all kinds of emotions in him for obvious reasons. To try and condense some of my remaining thoughts:

You get Asher and David being pining dumbasses while Sam watches with a near constant internal sigh at them both

Down the line, Sam brings up that he really likes Asher, which is reciprocated of course. But he also points out that he can tell Asher is clearly in love with David, which Ash deflects terribly. ("Psh, what? I don't— That's not even true anymore, we're just—" "How long ya gonna stand here playing this game?")

I think Sam "Can y'all act right?" Collins is a menace. He can see David and Asher's pining from a mile away and he's seen it up close from Asher. However, David is hesitating to make a move/pursue/do anything about his feelings. So Sam's gonna have fun with that

Have I mentioned how much I adore Sam in this pairng? Because listen— You can argue it's a bit out of character, but I think Sam can be a lot "meaner" and direct than most people give him credit for (just look at Imperium, hello? /pos) Like I love chewing on Sam's demeanor for this dynamic >>>. It's not possessive because he's more than willing to share Asher. It's basically Sam/David playing a game of chicken except it's got a "Yes and?" vibe. Sam's baiting David, sending signals that "You want in on this? Show it then." Meanwhile, David's just further digging himself a hole because he absolutely wants in— Not just with Asher but Sam as well— But is convincing himself he shouldn't be there.

I will stop myself here because otherwise, I will be here forever. But I hope you enjoyed this lengthy answer, Aether!

[jailedmoonshine]

about me !! ★⋆.　✭　

i realized i never did a proper about me so this is my introduction post!

jailedmoonshine ♡ toppedbykakuna

hello!! you can call me alexis or lexi !! i've been a phannie since easily 2013 and i've been using danandphilgames as an emotional support crutch since the gaming channel went on hiatus, so i'm SO happy that they're back and i'm SO happy to be back in the phandom!

i try to tag as much as I can, personal posts will be tagged as #lexis thoughts and any posts about anything other than Dan and Phil will get the #not dnp tag!

♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺(🔴▶🔴)⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡

i have a youtube channel where i make dan and phil compilations! you might have come across dan and phil reminding us that they came out of the closet , or perhaps the week after christmas where i made a dan and phil compilation video daily that i lovingly called Chaosmas ! if not, you can see my recent compilations such as DanAndPhilBAKES or phil's top gaming moments !

♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺(✎📖✒️)⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡

i'm a writer! i have a creative writing degree, a handful of poetry publications, and one selfpublished fictional novella about a young trans girl beginning her transition (it was my first book and i wasn't quite sure what i was doing, so you can only see it if you ask really, really nicely), however i do have two physical poetry books that i wrote and created myself, called incoherence and resilience! incoherence is an honest look into an often unspoken form that ocd can take in a person's mind, and resilience is a handful of poems showcasing the beauty of the queer community. more information about them down the post, or click the links for more info!

i am also dipping back into fanfiction! i'm currently working on a Phil!Vampire AU where Dan is his oblivious roommate for over a decade without realizing he's a vampire, it's gonna be a bit dark and a bit weird and a bit sexy but i think that's the fun of fanfic right? i'm also gonna start a handful of random story ideas and see if any of them speak to me so be sure to keep up with my ao3 account!

♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺(💸🟢💸)⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚

i have a patreon and a ko-fi! i am currently unemployed (and not making any money from my compilations) so any support is hugely appreciated! i am also a poet and an author, any supporters are free to reach out for a free copy of either of my poetry books, incoherence or resilience (click the link to jump to the post with more info!)

i'm taking compilation commission requests! feel free to request anything within reason on my kofi or patreon and i'll dedicate the video to you and your preferred social! i'm still working through a few youtube comment requests, however any payment will get priority! ♡

♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺(🎮🕹️👾)⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡

if anyone wants to be friends on the switch hello i love playing on my switch pls add me! if you play animal crossing, mario kart, smash bros, fall guys or honestly any switch game, come be my friend lets hang out! i'm happy to add discords or snapchats!!

if you made it this far, thank u for ur love and support! i've been having a lot of fun doing this so far and i'd love to keep doing this as long as i can, so be sure to follow for updates on my fanfics and poems, plus i'll be posting new compilations relatively weekly so subscribe over on youtube to see them when they come out! i'm always down to chat or answer questions, my ask box is always open so feel free to come chat!

[jandjsalmon]

2023 FFRC - August ⚔️🛡️

Hello friends! Autumn is my favourite time of year because the weather is lovely and there is no snow yet - unfortunately it doesn't last long here but I'm going to enjoy it while I can. I hope you're able to find things that make you happy!

I've had quite a few new followers, so I'll explain what this is. I participate in the @fanfic-reading-challenge every year and once a month, I share my reading progress and give a few fic recs that I particularly enjoyed this month. The challenge has various completion levels - and if you're looking for something to help motivate you to read new things or expand your range - or even if you just want to challenge yourself, you should come take a look. You don't have to wait until the new year to start - and there are a bunch of us on the Discord server (none of whom read any of the pairings/fandoms that I read btw😂) and it's a really nice and encouraging place to be.

August 2023

I read lots of really great stories this month - lots of Fexi at the beginning of the month and then I slid into reading a bunch of GoT fic because we're rewatching the whole series with our daughter (she's a big Tyrion fan). I finally cracked 15 million words read and with a few months to go I'm hoping my year-long goal of 20 million won't be out of the realm of possibility - so go me!

I’ve also gathered a couple recs. I hope you enjoy them. If you have favourites that you'd like to suggest to me (or if you've written and want a guaranteed review) - please hit me with the link. 💖

–*–

Three Weeks, Ten States, and One Million Reasons to Fall for You by @leftennant (Darcy/Bucky - E 14/14)  Summary: When Darcy considers all the things she never planned to do, going on a ten state road trip with the Winter Soldier ranks right up there with jumping off the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier sans parachute. Falling for said Winter Soldier somewhere between New York and New Orleans? Never. Gonna. Happen. Probably, at least. I mean, he is pretty damn sexy when he's not glaring at her. Whatever. She's only in it for the taser batons. Notes: Who doesn't love a Road Trip fic? It felt summery. And it's funny - Steve and Natasha also feature and they are adorable.

–*–

(please) be my baby by @myztify (Fez/Lexi - E 4/4)  Summary: Wanted: California farmer(s) willing to take part in journalistic research. Looking to understand a day in the life of California’s farmers. Possible two week placement on a farm. Please contact lexihoward@ buzzfeed.com for further details. or: journalist lexi stays with farmer fezco for two weeks to write an article and maybe fall in love Notes: This was exactly the amount of fluff that I needed after last month's horrible news. Fez is a farmer! And Lexi is so cute in this. Read it right now - you won't regret it.

–*–

Though Lovers Be Lost, Love Shall Not by @middleagedresidentofriverdale (Bughead - E 1/1)  Summary: A meditation on love and the end of life as they sit in the park on the last day of Betty's life. Notes: The perfect post-finale epilogue. I don't generally consider the last three seasons canon (Riverdale ended in 4x16 with a future of Yale and pizza and mysteries to me) - but if we have to deal with the mess that they gave us - at least there are fic writers who write amazing and glorious stories for all of us. Love this - and I love all of you, friends. 💛💙

–*–

See you back here in a few weeks! Happy reading! 🖤

[flowerslut]

Hi so this ask is a request (desperate) for twilight content since i feel like i've read all jalice fics in the fucking universe and for some reason most part of this fandom is obsessed with edbella (idc the whole saga is about them that's a detail) so here it goes: what's your currently hyperfixation inside the jasper&alice hyperfixation? like plots for fics, au, headcanons about personality traits (since jasper's canon personality is based on loving alice and being a low profile hottie with a tragic past)

yeah being a jalice girlie in the twilight saga is a rough experience bestie, I can soooooo relate to you there 😔 we truly are a group who suffers from lack of content 💔

right now my main jalicey focus is on my fic WIPs roots that I've mentioned before! I've been a bit distracted over the last several months thanks to the locked tomb fucking up my entire brain, but despite that I've still managed to write a solid 75k of roots, which has been nice.

I'm actually not real big on fixating on or even discussing headcanons unless its something I need to dissect privately for fic purposes. I'm also a huge critical bitch about other people's interpretations of my favorite characters which is why you don't see me talking about it a lot on tumblr. so many people get it (alice and jasper) so, so wrong, and obviously I have it so, soooooo right 😌💅 but lmfao okay no I mainly keep my opinions and headcanons to myself so I don't come across as an unlikeable cunt on this stupid site. unless someone asks, and then I have no problem being an asshole and telling people their tastes are bad. but I've been so well behaved recently and people have been much nicer and less insufferable in the twilight fandom in recent years which has been nice!!!!

but another huge fandom interest I have is making playlists! so I have like a dozen or so jalice-themed playlists (most of them are fic playlists for various @goldeneyedgirl stories because she really just keeps pumping out banger after banger; sometimes I swear I think about lexie's stories than I do about my own) and I am constantly listening to and working on playlists. one day I'll finish all my twilight character playlists and my Main jalice playlist, but it's already been a few years that I've been working on some of them, so what's a few more, yknow???

besides roots, I still have a kajillion big fics I need to finish outlining—my third cotn installment, it's novella, my AH au, the neglected WIP projects I have already published (sorry to my edge of it all readers, specifically). most of my jalice fixation gets redirected into planning and writing fanfiction when I'm not constantly arranging and rearranging carefully curated playlists

but thank you so much for calling jasper a "low profile hottie with a tragic past" because thats so funny. "low profile hottie" is SO good. I love any description of jasper that brushes aside the tiny bits of canon characterization we get of him to be like "ok but forget all that. he's quiet and sexy." it's like this iconic tweet:

anyways thank u kindly for the message I am so sorry there seems to be a bit of a jalice drought currently. I know lexie has been throwing prompts into the void on here recently but I'm sure if you're in here pleading for content you've probably already read all of her stuff 10x over. I can't promise you any real content out of me this month (or next) but I can guarantee you'll get plenty of snippets!!! hold strong anon 💖

[zenkindoflove]

38, 39, 40, B, G, and F for Alexius!

Hahah, I knew you would give me a bunch to answer!

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

Answered here

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

For people he genuinely likes, quite easily with some caveats. Alexius is sort of a ride or die type of person. He makes friends easily, but the ones he truly considers dear to him it's usually an instantaneous decision of "I like this person!" And he finds the reasons to validate his gut feeling. His approach to love is very similar. He falls hard and fast for people.

Now, the caveat is Alexius does have a snarky mouth and will call things out, even with the people he loves. He is prideful and sensitive so if he feels he's been abandoned or he's hurt, he will lash out. But I sort of see that more as a reaction than it is him souring to the person. Ultimately he does just want to be loved and accepted, sometimes to his own detriment of who he selects that he wants that love from.

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

I would say that Alexius is self aware of his biggest flaw - his neediness. It annoys him that he is that way but he's too stubborn to really change. But he does see that sometimes his neediness is exactly what pushes people away which is a negative feedback cycle. :(

B. What inspired you to create them?

I wanted to write a love interest for Eris because I love him so much! I couldn't shake my own head canon that Eris is gay, and I really enjoy grumpy x sunshine dynamics. So when I sat down and was trying to think of a male to fit with Eris, the person we now know as Alexius was shaped. In some ways Alexius is a foil to many of Eris' personality traits because I like playing around with that contrast, but I also found a lot of similarities between them to bond over as I was first constructing their romance. There are a lot of couples that have influenced how I write them - Brian and Justin from Queer as Folk US probably being the most obvious reference.

G. What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

This is like asking me to tell you what about my child bothers me the most. LOL. Because my instinct is to be like NOTHING, I LOVE HIM AND HE'S PERFECT. Honestly, writing Alexius is always a joy and I'm obsessed with him. I guess if I really think about it, it would be my dedication to making Alexius' profession working with horses, mythical or otherwise, only because I am NOT nor have I ever been a horse girl. So I went into it having literally no knowledge of horses and I basically had to research the most basic ass horse questions I had and I think you can tell that I'm just flying by the seat of my pants with the horse facts when you read haha.

F. What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

PRIDE, FOR SURE. Excitement, love, warmth, DESIRE (because Lexi is so sexy). But mostly pride because I am so proud of myself for creating him.

Uncommon questions for OCs and their creators ask game

[ladylooch]

I just reread the blurb of Lexi and Nico having sex after Lucie is born and how self conscious and scared Lexi was that Nico would not find her as sexy as she used to be but he reassured her and it was just so sweet and I’m wondering if Lucie ever felt that way with Connor after having Stella or maybe sex is painful and they have to use lube and Lucie is embarrassed about it

Sign me the F up for this ASAP babe.

18+ content below

Deep imprints of Lucie’s teeth go into her bottom lip as Connor works his way inside of her. She inhales sharply at the discomfort, screwing her eyes shut. Connor, who is watching her face intently, pauses. 

“What should I do babe? Talk to me.” He coos gently, cupping her cheek.

“Um, pull out please?”

“Of course.” He gently reverses course then backs off from her. Lucie lays there flat on her back, a lump growing in her throat. She presses a palm to her forehead, closing her eyes to avoid seeing his face. Connor’s hands gently come to her hips, thumbs rubbing tight circles against her hip bones that still hold her baby weight. Everything had been feeling so good until Connor slid in. They have had sex a few times since Stella was born, but each time has been increasingly uncomfortable for Lucie. She is seriously worried she will never enjoy sex again with her husband.

Unable to stop herself, Lucie shakes with a suppressed sob. 

“Baby.” Connor murmurs, leaning down to kiss her. She wraps her arms around his big shoulders, clinging to him. “It’s okay. We will figure this out.” He murmurs into her cheek. Her tears meld with the saliva from his smooches. “Can you talk to me about what is going on? Does it hurt?”

“Yeah it’s just… so intense and painful. It feels like I’m being ripped open.” Connor tries to hide his concern. 

“But you’re wet?"

“Not enough. I don’t know.” Lucie finishes with a whisper. Connor clears his throat a bit awkwardly. He was secretly prepared for this.

“Um, I got lube earlier, if you wanna try that?” Connor suggests, reaching around behind himself while trying to keep Lucie close to him. His fingers hit the bottle he put into the drawer from his run to the store. He brings it in front of Lucie’s face. She stares at the clear bottle, the gel in there reminding her that is supposed to make everything better physically, but certainly not mentally.

Isn’t this a turn off? As a woman, aren’t you supposed to always be wet and wild for your man? Does Connor feel like Lucie doesn’t find him attractive anymore? Or that she will never get back to what she was before she gave birth to their baby?

“The way your brain is rushing around right now...." He chuckles gently, thumb stroking her blushing cheek. "Luc, I love you. You’re perfect.” Connor whispers earnestly. “But your body is still adjusting and if this is what we have to do right now, or forever, that’s okay.” He kisses her again, softer and sweeter, lips lingering so she can feel how in love with her he is

Connor’s hands begin to putter all over her body, squeezing her, rubbing her against him, making the tension build again back to what it was before they stopped. Lucie’s insecurities dissipate. She asks him if they can try the lube he bought. Connor works his way back between her legs. He puts some in his hand, then strokes along his shaft, before he glides a slick finger into her core. Lucie quivers, clenching around his finger immediately. He smiles encouragingly, then leans over her.

"Ready?" Lucie nods. The end of their noses almost touch, eyes locked on each other as he glides right in. This, Lucie loves and craves. She moans her approval to him, biting her lip for a whole different reason as he takes his sweet time making love to her.

[luca-street-chris-deacon-rp]

"Sometimes it's the memories that make us feel like it isn't where we belong, but Seattle can be a home away from home too." He reasoned, rubbing her back gently because he knew how much trauma was there for her. She had family and friends, has reconnected with old best friends, but it still didn't feel like home. "What baby weight?" Scoffing at the mere suggestion. "You're beautiful and perfect and sexy. It dad who needs to lose a few pounds before going back to work." @lexi-rpb

@lexi-rpb

After a night of fun and mind-blowing sex, both Luca and Lexi slept soundly until six in the morning and strangely Theo hadn't woken up in the night for a feed, so Luca went to check on him and he was perfectly fine. "Yeah, you know if you wake up Santa might not come." He whispered to his son, taking the baby monitor downstairs with him and being as quiet as possible so he didn't wake Sofia who was excited for Santa.

So he sat in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, the tablet playing the Simpson's and the dogs were looking for all his affection and then they would run out into the yard. He didn't mind the door being open to let the dogs come and go as they pleased, he was wearing thick sweat pants and a long sleeved t-shirt under his robe and his feet were in cosy slippers that Niamh had bought him. She called them his dad slippers. @lexi-rpb

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Politics and Violence- Part 2

Pairing: Elliot (Euphoria) x Reader

Summary: Elliot approaches the reader at school, violent blushing and flirting ensures. It ends with Elliot, very forwardly, asking the reader on a date. When the reader returns home, she faces a kind of angry Fez, demanding that she tell him what's she's been hiding from him. Drama ensures.

Song: "Acai Bowl" by Dominic Fike (I like the vibe especially during the flirty scenes in this)

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of drugs, sexy flirting and pretty substantial sexual tension lol.

A/n: Look guys, I'm early!! I love all of you and I'm very stoked for you guys to read this :) Some of these convos were based off of things I found on pinterest lmao.

I’m going to be honest. I’m definitely going against every piece of advice that has ever been given to me about love.

I’m diving head first into him, a smile on my face, my heart thumping against my ribs every time I speak to him or see him. He was just an addictive person; his smile, his hair, the way his eyes squint when he’s laughing at me, his voice. He would call me every night, his quiet, deep voice making my stomach flutter.

These were the types of feelings that my grandmother told me to avoid at all cost. To not trust the cute boys with the soft brown eyes, those that resemble a puppy dog. She would tell me to run for the hills the minute they looked my way and to keep my heart close to my chest. Sadly for her, I wore my heart quite visibly on my sleeve and so did Elliot.

He was slowly becoming my best friend, surpassing anyone else around me on my list of favorite people. He listened, he watched and paid attention to my every move, he was interested in any idea I had to share and any story I had to tell. And, not that it’s the most important thing in the world, but he is an amazing kisser.

Though we mutually agreed that we would take time to get to know each other, that did not keep us from flirting from sunrise to sunset. He would snapchat me pictures, fresh out of the shower, my jaw dropping at the sight. In return, I’d send him back a picture of me in my mirror at night, just a t-shirt covering my body. We drove each other crazy and I think that’s what I loved most about our relationship. It was no pressure and fun.

Fezco was starting to get suspicious, his eyes trying to catch a glance of my phone when I would smile widely at the screen. He would ask me occasionally what I was up to, if I was getting into any sort of trouble without him. I would just respond with a simple shrug, brushing it off and keeping it vague. I know that I can tell him and be honest that I had been talking to a boy for the last month or so. He had his own relationships, Lexi Howard coming over occasionally and spending a bit too much time at our home for her to be considered just a friend. But just like he liked his privacy, I liked mine.

My gaze moves from the white board, the lights dim as the teacher shows a presentation on the male anatomy. Not exactly the way I’d like to learn more about dicks, thank you very much. Finding Elliot from across the room, his eyes are already on me, a soft smile on his lips. His hand lifts in a bashful wave, my eyes rolling playfully at him as my cheeks warm. I watch as he holds his phone up, my own vibrating in my lap. Opening the device, I smirk at his text.

From Brat Tamer: You’ve been looking at me awfully a lot. Do I have something on my face?

My lips curl into a sassy smile, my eyes flickering back up to the teacher to make sure she can’t see me typing out a response. The last thing I needed was her catching me and taking my phone to read the message out loud to the rest of the class. But this is a sexual education class for a reason, am I right?

To Brat Tamer: No, sadly you have nothing on your face.

I watch as his eyebrows pull together in confusion, his eyes catching mine and almost saying ‘what’s that supposed to mean?’. I just shrug playfully, watching him with a smirk as he types out a response. My heart thumps in my chest at the response, knowing exactly what to say to drive him crazy.

From Brat Tamer: What do you mean sadly? What should I have on my face?

I hear his quiet laugh from across the room, looking at me expectantly as I press send, my message naughtier than it should be. I see a look of realization pass across his face, watching as he gulps and shifts in his seat. Looking back down at my message, I giggle under my breath.

To Brat Tamer: Me.

Elliot quickly shoves his phone back in his pocket, his hand reaching down to palm himself through his sweats. I grin proudly, my attention flicking back to the teacher as she points at a very crude image of a penis.

My ears are barely tuned into her words, my mind running to places that aren’t exactly the most appropriate. I’m sure he’ll approach me after class, his teasing intensifying as he gets me in his hold. He knows that I’m done for the minute his hands rest on my waist, my words stuck in my throat. I’m all talk for sure.

“-which brings us into our next fact which is 'human sperm contains sugar’.” The teacher says, my ears immediately perking up as I let out a laugh, the students' attention on me as I snort.

“Then why isn’t it sweet?” I point out, Elliot’s giggles heard from across the room as he tosses his head back. The teacher just looks at me, genuinely shocked but I could tell that she was also thinking the same thing. She stutters a bit as she forms a response, watching me carefully as I lean back in my chair.

“What?” She asks meekly, her face still shocked as I shrug, clearing my throat.

“What?” I respond simply, the teacher just sending me one last confused look before carrying on with her lesson. I snicker under my breath as my phone buzzes once more, my ears tuning out the rest of the lesson.

From Brat Tamer: Meet me in the courtyard after class, xo.

A smirk stretches out across my lips as I take a seat on the steps of the courtyard, following Elliot’s orders of where to meet him. My fingers scroll aimlessly through social media, my stomach fluttering with nerves. They were good nerves, the thought of Elliot being close to me again after a few days of not seeing each other over the weekend makes my head spin.

I watch as Elliot opens the door across from me, his eyes flickering around the area to find me. When his eyes lock on mine, a bright smile takes over his face, his eyes dipping to look at the ground nervously. I sit up straighter, shoving my phone into my pocket as he approaches me.

“Hi honey.” He smiles, slipping down next to me as my cheeks flush at the gentle nickname. I send him a nervous smile, bumping my shoulder with his as he chuckles, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. He pulls me to him with a laugh, his lips pressing against the side of my head. “Don’t gotta be nervous- relax.” He whispers, rubbing my arm gently as I shake out my nerves. He just chuckles lightly, knowing me well enough to know that his presence still puts me on edge. Without being behind a screen or weed in my system, I was a whole lot less ballsy. “You’re such a smartass, ya know that?” He says suddenly, looking down at me as his hand moves to rest on my waist, his dark eyes flickering between mine.

“Why?” I ask quietly, my eyebrows pulling together as he rolls his eyes playfully, his tongue slipping out to wet his lips. The motion makes my heart stop for a second, the need to feel his lips on mine overwhelming me.

“Then why isn’t it sweet- Like who thinks of that shit?” He mocks teasingly, his voice raising a few octaves as I snort. My eyes roll at the mention of the class, my cheeks warming a bit as I shake my head with a smile.

“Me. I think of that shit.” I giggle, taking it a step further, placing my hand on his knee as he rubs my back. The movement is so simple but it makes my heart swell happily, needing to feel his touch. His expression turns into something more mischievous as he leans into me, his nose bumping against mine.

“Wanna test that theory?” He whispers, his eyes flickering down to my lips as I swallow roughly.

“What theory?” I squeak, all thoughts of anything else completely abandoned at his proximity.

“If it’s sweet.” His innuendo makes my eyes flicker nervously away from him, a shocked laugh leaving my lips as I hide behind my hands. “You’re all fucking talk, it’s so cute.” He whispers, pulling me closer to him as my cheeks heat up violently. He just presses delicate kisses to my forehead, my temple, and my cheek before finally cupping my cheek, his lips capturing mine. I hum quietly, my hand squeezing his knee gently as he deepens the kiss. Gently nibbling my lip, I gasp, pulling away before I jump his bones here and now. He looks at me with a shy smile, his shoulders shrugging gently. “I’ve been thinkin’ about doing that for a bit now.” He laughs quietly, my head bobbing in an agreeable nod. His eyebrows just raise gently, urging me to go on about how much I agreed.

“I’m always thinking about kissing you, so…” I trail off, ignoring the eyes that are locked on us, confused and conflicted. I can see Rue out of the corner of my eyes, watching us and whispering to Jules as Elliot’s attention stays locked on me.

Pulling away from him briefly, not wanting Rue to go to Fez and tell him my pretty big secret that I’ve been hiding from him and Ash. Elliot’s lips part in shock, his whole body squirming as he clears his throat.

“Gotta take me on a date before you kiss me again.” I whisper, his clumsy, boyish reactions giving me confidence to keep teasing him. He nods, not having an issue with my idea. “Tonight?” I offer, my lip pulling in between my teeth as he mumbles a quick ‘fuck’ under his breath, taken back by me being forward. Taste of your own medicine, bitch. “I believe we have a theory to test, so, might as well take me to dinner first.” I giggle, his eyes rolling as he sends me a tight lipped smile.

“You’re such a brat.” He mutters, his eyes flickering down to my bare thighs, his hands twitching in his lap. We were both keen on waiting, on building the tension as long as we could until one of us snapped. It was fun, I’ll give it that, but I can tell by how he’s practically salivating at the sight of my bare legs that something might happen after this date tonight. I hope more than just something happens.

“I’m aware.” I whisper, elbowing his side as he stands, me quickly following as I step in front of him, my hand slipping up his chest to rest just above the tattoo that I know sits delicately on his skin. His heart pounds under my touch, his breath coming out in breathy gasps.

“Yeah?” He asks, his hands resting on my hips as I get lost in him, subtly giving a ‘fuck you’ to Jules and Rue as they walk by us, gawking.

“Wanna know what else I’m aware of?” I ask, my voice low as I look up at him through my lashes. His head dips a bit, his nose bumping against mine as he presses a delicate kiss to my cheek.

“What’s that, babydoll?” He whispers, his eyes dark and naughty as he watches me, his lips inviting but I have other plans. Focus, Y/n.

“The tent in your pants- better tuck that in your waistband!” I grin wickedly, pressing a quick kiss to his lips as I pat his chest. Backing away from him, his wide eyes travel south, his backpack immediately being pulled off of his shoulders to cover his problem. “Text me!” I wink, watching as he rolls his eyes, a huge smile on his lips as he blows out a breath of air.

Making my way into the house, I throw myself onto the couch with a huff, a happy smile dancing across my lips. Ash looks at me, his head tilting curiously as I try my best to shrink my happy expression before suspicions rise.

“Why the fuck you so happy?” He asks, kicking his feet up on the coffee table as his eyebrows pull together. “Matter ‘a fact, why the fuck you been so happy?” He laughs, Fez entering the living room with a huff. He lifts my legs, placing them on his lap as he joins us. I just shrug simply, shoving my face into the pillow as my cheeks warm. “Man, you know why she’s so fucking happy?” Ash asks Fez, the boy curious beyond belief. Leave it alone, Ash…

“She got a man, that’s why.” My head whips around to look at Fez as he huffs, rubbing a hand over the top of his head. He looks pissed, his eyes glaring at me as he shakes his head. “Why did I find out from Rue instead’a you?” He asks, watching me as I sit up nervously, my heart pounding in my chest. “She said you were all fucking cuddly wit’ the kid, kissing and shit.” My cheeks warm vividly as Ash scoffs, the pieces connecting in his brain.

“All makes sense.” The boy clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, a proud smile on his face. “What’s his name? Might have to do some digging.” I roll my eyes at him, reaching out to punch his thigh as he squeals.

“Leave me and my new man alone!” I point between the both of them, Fez rolling his eyes as his head hits the back of the couch. “We’re going on a date tonight. We’re just getting to know each other, it’s no pressure, no labels.” I shrug, explaining as vaguely as I can without telling them I literally offered to suck his dick earlier. That’ll stay between me and Elliot. Fez stares at me, unconvinced as he shrugs.

“Maybe you’ll have to invite him in so I can meet him.” Fez offers, my head immediately shaking as I lift myself off of the couch, my phone buzzing loudly in my pocket. I know it's Elliot who's calling me, my eyes widening as both men in front of me tune into the ringing. “Answer it, right here.” Fez orders, his face stern as I huff, knowing he means it. I turn to Ash who just snickers, going along with our eldest brother's plan. “On speaker.” He adds, my eyes widening as I fumble over my words. Rolling my eyes, I pull my phone out from my pocket, Elliot’s name across the screen.

“Hi, what’s up?” I ask when I answer it, Elliot’s laugh ringing from the other end of the phone. Ash is hanging onto every sound from the other end, his ears tuned in and his smirk wide. Fez just looks stoic, his shoulders tight as he rests his arms behind his head.

“Really? That’s all?” He laughs, my eyes rolling as I look between my brothers, annoyed by their presence. If they wanted a show, I would give them a show.

"My brothers are forcing me to answer this call in front of them. You’re on speakerphone.” I warn, Elliot gasping from the other end of the phone. Just like the men in the room, Elliot would do anything to embarrass me. Fuck, this was not a good idea.

“Is this the equivalent of impressing the parents, cuz I’ve never been good at that.” He chuckles, my smile growing as I avoid my brother’s eager stares. “Wait. Does this mean fucking Rue snitched on us?!” He yells, a laugh leaving my lips as he fumbles on the other end of the line. “She’s with me now acting all innocent and shit- did you really tell on us?! You fucking tattle-tale!” He screeches and I hear Rue yelling on the other end. I break down in giggles, both Ash and Fez laughing under their breath. “Oh my god, does this mean that they know about me sticking my tongue down your throat cuz-”

“Elliot!” I cut him off with a laugh, my hand reaching up to cover my face. Ash bursts out laughing, his head thrown back in giggles as he writhes around the chair. Fez just looks uncomfortable, a small laugh leaving his lips as he shakes his head.

“I’m just sayin.” He huffs, cursing out Rue some more before letting out a brief sigh. “Okay, take me off the speaker phone so we can talk about date night- whoop whoop!” He cheers, my finger tapping the button as I lift the phone to my ear. I make my way out of the living room but not before flipping both of the boys off. Their laughs are heard from down the hall as I enter my bedroom, Elliot giggling in my ear. “So, I figured we could eat take out and then I could eat you out. Then we can watch a movie or whatever at my place.” He offers, my jaw dropping at his flirting, my cheeks aching with happiness.

“Elliot!” I scold, the image of him between my thighs makes my stomach clench.

“What? Am I being too forward?” He asks teasingly, a huff leaving my lips as I pout. “Come on, get ready, pack a bag or something- I might keep you forever if this date goes well. Which it will.” He chuckles, my face warming as my heart swells at his words. I might keep you forever… “I’m picking you up in a half an hour on the dot, be ready brat.” He orders, my head nodding sternly.

“You got it.” I grin, sitting up as he sighs.

“But first,” he pauses, grunting as he moves, “I gotta kill Rue.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex--awesome--22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf

@rosepetalsparks@bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila Euphoria Taglist: @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx@ssprayberrythings @username-lols @pessimisticbiitch@urmomsangel

Elliot Taglist: @vintagebitc @kaitieskidmore1@gyros-cum-sock

[jsmangoez]

Off Limits

Summary:

Lexi Howard was his best friend, basically his little sister. He wasn’t supposed to be thinking of her like that, undressing her with his eyes. He just hadn’t seen her in a couple years. There had to be a logical explanation for this. It wasn’t like he was completely down bad for her. 

It was a gradual descent. At least that’s what he told himself. Really, he felt disgusted with himself. This was all kinds of fucked up, even by his standards. She was off-limits...he reminded himself...over...and over...again.

That's the thing about forcing yourself not to do something. The more you thought about not doing something, the more you thought about it in general. In turn, the more you thought about doing the thing that you're not supposed to be doing. Such things he kept thinking, he would have killed any other man if they were doing the same.

He never had to think too hard about it before, so he didn’t know why he was agonizing over it now. This was basically his sister. His younger sister that he had grown up with, taken care of, never, ever, looked at in any other way besides a sister.

It was disgusting. Basically like weird fetish porn where someone isn't really your sister, but they technically are and then you end up fucking. It worried him that he was starting to see the appeal in that...ever since.

Nah, I’m trippin’ for sure.

Fez knocked his head back onto the wall, trying to shake his head of his dirty, vile thoughts. He was corrupting her in his mind. She was innocent, pure.

He furrowed his brows. Well, she had been off to college for the past four years, so he actually wasn’t too sure of that anymore. Maybe, she wasn’t as innocent and pure as he remembered. For some reason, the thought of her proving him wrong, being bent over and fucked hard spiked a pang of jealousy and arousal through him.

He knocked his head back against the wall a second time.

Fuck, this is fucked up.

He stared at the tent in his pants. He was just horny, he told himself. It was the only reason he could think of. He could hardly remember the last time a woman had touched him and it was taking its toll. It definitely wasn’t the sway of her hips, and her deliciously round ass in that plaid pencil skirt that he just wanted to take a bite of. It wasn’t because he could tell that she wasn’t wearing a bra the way he could see her nipples through her cropped cardigan.

Normally, he wasn't one to be easily overtaken by such desires. Hell, he had been brought up in a strip club. Sure, tits and ass were nice, it just wasn't something he would ruminate over. He'd see some and notice in passing maybe.

There was just something about hers...that looked especially erotic. Rue had always asked him if he was a tits or an ass man and he wasn't ever too sure, not that he particularly leaned towards another. If he had to describe a type he supposed he liked shapely legs, thicker thighs, and a round ass. He liked perky tits with puffy nipples. A pretty face with nice lips. If you asked him if he had any sexual fantasies, he was ashamed to say he had a thing for sexy teachers and librarians. It was something about the way that you'd never expect it. He also had a thing for pencil skirts.

It was the fact that she happened to check all those boxes that made him furrow his brows and frown.

He just needed to take care of himself. It was the only way he could stop undressing her in his mind.

He pulled out his phone, passing through several videos that on any other day would have been sufficient. He scrolled back, something catching his eye. He watched a preview of a brunette with small, perky tits and a perfectly rounded ass orgasming.

She was hot enough, legs spread open as she got fucked, perky tits bouncing up and down. Her long brown curls splayed along the bed, lips parted. 

Fez closes his eyes as he unzips his pants.

He imagines himself taking place of the man in the video, breathing hard as he strokes himself. He imagines the moans coming out of her mouth as he fucks her, begging for his cock as she nears her orgasm. Fez grunts as he thinks of how wet, tight, and pulsing her pussy would be around him. 

Fez imagines her face as she cums from his cock.

It was probably the most intense orgasm he had given himself in a while.

It only occurs to him afterward, that the girl in the video didn't have brown eyes and wasn’t wearing the bright, cherry lipstick he had been imagining in his mind.

He closes his eyes, clean hand resting on his forehead, breathing hard.

He was undoubtedly fucked.

Fez had met Rue Bennet and Lexi Howard in his sophomore year of high school. It was the year before he had dropped out of school. Rue and Lexi had both been 7th graders at the time, he remembered Rue telling him.

He wasn't one to make friends, his lifestyle made it hard for other people to relate to him. They were just some neighborhood kids, bored out of their minds, who had nothing better to do than pester their neighborhood drug dealer for some ice cream.

Lexi always tried to pay for hers even though all three of them knew that Fez wouldn't accept the money.

They would routinely stop by his corner store for ice cream, never failing to show up right after school let out.

He mostly talked to Rue at first, being the more talkative of the two. Rue was a persistent one, sometimes to his annoyance. 

They really started to hang out after Rue and he started smoking weed together. She had been asking to try it for about a year at that point. He supposed he wasn't the best role model, joint always on hand or in mouth. They had been ninth-graders then. He didn’t feel so bad letting her hit a couple of puffs from his joint at that point. He figured he’d want their first time with someone they could trust. 

“C’mon Lexi, live a little.” Rue egged her friend. Fez glanced at her, cross-legged on his rug as he and Rue both sat on his couch smoking his joint. He could tell that she was unsure, her hands fidgeting. She looked every bit the awkward and innocent good girl she was, pigtails, braces and all. He didn’t wanna ruin that. It was something he found endearing, something he wanted to protect.

“Aye, Rue. Quit peer pressurin’ her.” Fez admonished. "She gon' do what she wanna do."

Lexi looked at him with surprise. For a drug dealer, Fez wasn't really one for pushing drugs on people. For that very reason, it had actually piqued her interest. 

“Can I try it?”

Lexi had always surprised him. On the surface, she was a straight-laced, suburban good girl with good grades and a bright future. Her two closest friends were a drug addict and a drug dealer, so no one should really be surprised.

He supposed he and Lexi had really started becoming friends after Rue had spiraled into her addiction. It wasn’t anything romantic, movies at his place - usually, it was Ash, Lexi, and himself; and her coming over to his place to study at times due to her sister’s own downward spiral.

Over a period of time, he would say he had gotten even closer to Lexi than he had ever been with Rue. Lexi never judged him despite how differently they lived. It was easy to talk to her and he found it particularly comforting to hear her ramble about whatever was on her mind. She made him feel grounded, reminded him how simple life could be. He found himself sharing things he never shared with anyone else with her.

Rue had gotten better by the end of her junior year and the three of them continued to hang out throughout their graduation. He had seen Rue regularly since she had gone to the community college in their town and started to work at the grocery store he had opened up. He had sold his convenience store and taken a chance to open a grocery store in a better part of town. He still sold weed here and there for some extra cash. It wasn’t near as much as he made dealing, but the scare he had with their last raid pushed him to really get away from the game, for Ash’s sake especially.

He had kept in touch with Lexi through phone calls and texts. She had been busy at NYU. She rarely visited except for occasional holidays to see her mother and sister, her summers being filled with internships. He was proud of her, even though he missed seeing her in person.

In his mind, her image had been preserved as the sweet, innocent 17-year-old Lexi Howard. One of his ‘little sisters’ and in a way, his best friend and closest confidant. He felt like he knew every bit of her life, except maybe her love life, despite being on different coasts. He hadn’t really seen many pictures of her due to his lack of social media presence.

He blamed everything on that one night. The night that he had started developing whatever brain disorder it was that gave him these perverted fantasies.

Three weeks ago, Rue had planned a small get-together at his place. It was simple - movies and snacks, just like old times.

He was pretty excited to see one of his closest friends in person again. They talked nearly every day on the phone, texted memes and pictures to each other, but it would never be the same as seeing her in person. She had told him that she planned to stay in town after graduation, their close proximity to L.A. being advantageous for her career. 

He was glad to have his best friend back. Sweet, awkward Lexi who could passionately talk at length about any subject, randomly show up with food for him and Ash for no special occasion, marathon movies with him.

He imagined her in an argyle sweater, puffy-sleeved shirt with a collar, or one of those overalls she likes to wear.

He hadn’t been prepared for what he was about to witness.

Lexi Howard had knocked on his door that night and left him breathless. 

Her hair was the same chocolate brown waves, eyes still bright and wide, framed by her dark, thick lashes. Her bright red lips still looked plump as she smiled at him. 

She looked the same but completely different at the same time. In a good way. In a way that made him certain he would look twice her way if he had seen her as a stranger coming into his store. Maybe even three times, the last one lingering. 

Lexi had always been a pretty girl. He didn't think she knew that despite him telling her so. Anyone would find her features attractive, her quiet nature and lack of confidence seemed to mask that beauty. It was very clear to him now, how beautiful she really was. 

Lexi exuded a confidence that hadn’t been present before.

She had engulfed him with a hug, jumping up as he caught her. He shivered at the contact of their skin.

His ears reddened as his hands accidentally grazed her very soft bottom. She smelled delicious as he took a whiff of her fruity, floral scent. His eyes couldn’t help but wander as he took note of her slightly less slender frame, fuller hips, and...was she not wearing a bra?

He forced his eyes to look up at her face, feeling a flush of redness over his cheeks.

“Hey.” He said awkwardly, cursing himself. Why was it so hard to say anything else at the moment. It was as if he had a million thoughts running through his mind, but none of them knew what to say. 

She giggled and he hated the way that the sound caused a tingle that went immediately down to his groin. “Clearly, I’m the only one who was excited to see each other.” She teased.

His stomach flipped at the comment. If he was a stranger, he would have thought her tone was flirtatious.

“I, uh,” Fez stumbled. "Come in." His voice failed to match her playful tone. He stepped awkwardly aside, eyes on her and her smile. The timer on his oven beeped, causing him to look back at Rue and Ash standing in the kitchen

“Lexi.” Rue deadpanned. “Well, look who’s late.” Rue teased with hands on her hips. Lexi walked past him to hug her childhood best friend.

Fez couldn’t help his eyes lingering on her ass as she sashayed past him. He told himself he was just interested in the plaid pattern of her skirt. It was a very nice pattern.

He looked up quickly once he realized what he was doing only to see Ash smirking at him. He cursed. Ash would definitely get on him for catching it later.

“Ash, you’re so tall!” Lexi hugged him, making him squirm. The boy still wasn't used to physical affection despite Lexi basically being family.

“And you still short.” Ash retorted, looking her up and down. Lexi was about two heads shorter than he was now, given that he was a few inches taller than Fez.

“You look different.” He stated matter of factly. She looked more mature, more confident, and it was attractive.

“It has been 4 years,” Lexi stated sarcastically. Ash rolled his eyes at her.

“I think he’s saying you look hot,” Rue said frankly, making Lexi blush. Rue eyed her from head to toe, making Fez feel uncomfortable himself.

“I ain’t say any of that.” Ash scowled. "Fuckin' gross."

Rue shrugged. “What, it’s true.” She continued. “You know what, Cassie might have the bitties, but Lexi definitely got the ass.” Rue chuckled, glancing at her ass.

“Rue.” Lexi groaned. Rue meant no harm, she just failed to have any decorum or filter. 

“What?” Rue shrugged. “We’re all friends here. And as a woman who loves women, I recognize.”

Fez shook his head at her, stepping closer to his friends. He took another whiff of her sweet-smelling perfume. “Why you always make things weird, Rue.”

Later that night, the three of them watched John Wick 3 together. He kept telling himself that the shiver he felt as she brushed up against him on the couch was just the chill from the window. If he kept glancing at her every few minutes, it was only because he hadn’t seen her in years. And if he dreamt of her that night, well, he had just picked up a bad batch of weed.

He wasn’t attracted to Lexi Howard. His best friend and basically little sister, Lexi Howard. Lexi Howard with big, beautiful brown eyes, plump kissable lips, and hips that haunted his mind.

He wasn’t utterly fucked.

A/N:

I’m still planning plot for other fics.

In this, Fez is 25, Lexi and Rue are 22, and Ash is 19.

[sextonsharpwinhalstead]

Top 10 favorite Grey's Anatomy characters

These aren't ranked but just off the top of my head.

Cristina Yang, as a young girl she was a reminder that women could and should be ambitious and she also made me question the need to have the cookie cutter married with kids life style.

Callie Torres, the moment she hit my screen I couldn't get over how sexy she was. When I finally reeled my crush in I really enjoyed her, she was done wrong by many of characters but I always liked her.

Maggie Pierce. I have no idea why so many people hate her character and maybe after a rewatch I may understand it but I still enjoy Maggie and I've always wanted to see what they do with her.

Lexie Grey, she was a sweetheart and wanted to be a good surgeon and she wanted to be happy and helpful and I'm still sad at the way she went out.

Arizona Robbins, Arizona before the crash was one of my favorite characters on the show. She was bubbly and sweet and her introduction was the reason we finally got some gayness on the show and we watched her go into an awesome new vocation and she was so sweet and those damn Heelys won me over.

Jackson Avery, he was the only I really liked when the hospital merged/takeover and I was happy he lived through the shooting that eradicated all of his other fellow residents. I loved his friendship/mentorship with Mark which carved out a new portion of the hospital. He made a lot of mistakes especially in his love life that I'm not a fan of but I still think overall he's one of the better characters on the show.

Andrew Deluca, he was bilingual, gorgeous, and most of all kind. RIP

Addison Montgomery. I am putting on my blinders and pretending Private Practice isn't a thing and just going to remember her as Grey's character who was complicated but real and I just enjoy her.

Lauren Riley, I know there is almost nothing on her but the little we got was great and my biggest annoyance is that we have gotten NIL since. BRING HER BACK!

Cormac Hayes. I know he was brought in as a potential love interest/eye candy even though he was basically none of those things but I still really liked him. He took over the spot that Karev had been for Meredith and I hate that the other characters BS is the reason he's not there anymore. I would trade him for Owen. I also really appreciated his relationship with Megan and I feel like he and Deluca had so much more to offer.

[thatfanficstuff]

Not About You - 7

Pairing: Damon Salvatore x ofc

Warnings: nope

A/N: nope.

After she was out of the shower, Lucy wrapped one of Damon’s large towels around her. She turned her head to the side to examine the bite. It would heal in a couple of days but it would annoy her until it did. A light knock came at the door.

“Are you decent?” Damon asked.

“Yep.”

He opened the door with a smirk. “Damn it. I was hoping for a show.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Come on, dude. Doctor me up.” She hopped up to sit on the counter, her feet swinging while she watched him gather what he needed.

“Dude?”

“Are you or are you not a dude?”

He shook his head while he dabbed at her neck with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol. “That’s not the point. Call me something else.”

“Fine. What would you suggest?”

“Sexy.”

“Taken by Lexi.”

Damon grunted. “Stud muffin.”

Lucy burst into laughter. “I sincerely hope you aren’t serious.”

He didn’t answer but his lips tipped up just a bit higher as he smirked. He put a large bandage over her wound. “There.”

“Thank you, Day,” Lucy said as she hopped off the counter. She kissed his cheek with a grin.

Damon talked Lucy into sleeping in his room but she still didn’t expect to be awoken by him leaning over her and staring.

“Jesus, Damon,” she complained when she opened her eyes to find him scowling down at her. “What the hell?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about Elena?” he asked.

Lucy frowned. “What exactly was it I was supposed to have told you?”

“That she was the reason you got called in for questioning.” If she’d thought Stefan had been angry with that little revelation, he didn’t hold a candle to Damon. It wasn’t often she saw the older brother at his full ire and, again, she could only be glad it wasn’t directed at her.

“Honestly, it slipped my mind.” Lucy groaned and ran a hand down her face. “Why are you waking me up for this?”

“I’m not.” He pushed himself off the bed making sure to put more force into it than necessary so Lucy bounced with the movement. “I’m waking you up because Lexi made breakfast.”

“Oooo…breakfast.”

“Yeah, I thought that might get you moving.”

Lucy quickly put herself together then made her way to the kitchen. “Mornin.”

A round of good mornings answered her. A second later, Stefan was in front of her. He grasped her chin and turned her head to the side. She hissed as it pulled on the bandage. “What happened to you?”

Lucy pulled away from him and took the plate of food Lexi held out for her. “Damon bit me,” she answered with a shrug. She watched wide-eyed as the blonde vampire slammed Damon into the wall and held him there by his throat.

“A little help here?” he croaked out while grasping at the wrist of the hand holding him.

Lucy took a bite of her food. “That’s what you get for not telling Stefan anything.” She shifted her gaze to Lexi. “Thank you for the righteous anger on my behalf, but you can let him go. It was part of the plan.”

“What the hell kind of plan involves you getting bitten?” Stefan asked as he sat a cup of coffee in front of Lucy. It was made just the way she liked it. “And why didn’t he heal you after?”

Damon cleared his throat and took the seat beside the only human in the room with a glare in her direction. She grinned and ate more of her food. While she ate, Damon filled the other two in on the events of the night before.

“Thanks for breakfast, sexy Lexi,” she said as she pushed the plate away. A pounding came at the door and Lucy jumped to her feet. “I’ll get it. I’m expecting a package.”

A man in a blue jacket stood at the door when she opened it. “Lucy Williams?”

“That’s me.” She signed the tablet he held out then took the small package from him. She shut the door and locked it before hurrying back to the kitchen. Ripping the end off, she dumped the small box inside into her hand before pulling out the envelope. Her name was scrawled across the front of it and she sat it aside to read later. The box, she tossed to Lexi. “Got you a present for Stefan’s birthday.”

Lexi frowned in confusion and turned the box in her hands. “Aren’t you supposed to get himthe presents?”

“It’s kind of for both of you. Open it.”

The vampire snapped open the box. Inside was a delicate ring with a bright blue stone. “It’s beautiful.” She slid it onto her finger. “Thank you.”

Lucy hummed in response and turned her back to pour another cup of coffee. “You should take a walk around the grounds. It must be what, hundreds of years, since you’ve felt the sun?”

The silence stretched until a croaked “What?” broke it.

She turned to find the vampires staring at her. “What?”

Lexi flashed in front of her. “This is a daylight ring?”

Lucy smiled and nodded her head. She gestured toward the window with her mug. “I know people. Give it a try.”

The vampire hesitantly made her way to the window. She stood to the side and opened the blinds. After a long moment, she held her hand out and moved it into the bars of light. When nothing happened, she squealed and opened the blinds all the way to stand in the light. A moment later she was in front of Lucy again grabbing her arms and hopping in glee. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

She zoomed away, shouting over her shoulder as she went. “I love your friend, Stefan.”

The vampire in question chuckled before giving Lucy a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for this.”

Lexi squealed again and they all looked in the direction the sound came from. Stefan pressed his lips together. “I should go keep her out of trouble.”

Lucy nodded. “Good thinking, Salvatore.”

He followed after his friend and Damon came over to lean against the counter beside his best friend. “You’re good people, Lucy Williams.”

She hummed in agreement. “So, I’ve heard.”

He sipped his coffee and glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “You know people that make daylight rings?”

“I know people that know people that make daylight rings,” she corrected. She smiled at his annoyed expression as she sipped her coffee. He wanted more information but she wasn’t about to give it to him. He didn’t need to know everything about her. Not yet anyway.

It was late in the day before Lucy had a chance to curl up with the letter that had come with Lexi’s present. She tore open the envelope eagerly and smiled as she ran her eyes over the familiar elegant handwriting of her uncle.

Dearest Lucy,

As surprised as I was to receive your text requesting a daylight ring for a “friend”, I was even more shocked to see the address you wished it sent to. My life on this continent began in a small settlement that stood where your Mystic Falls does now.

You know I abhor coincidence and find it unlikely you would have arrived in that particular location without the guidance of some larger force. Perhaps it is time that I pay you a visit. We are well overdue in any case. As much as I enjoy our various communications with one another, nothing is as satisfying as an in person meeting.

Unfortunately, I am a bit distracted at the moment attempting to locate my brother Niklaus. I’m sure you remember my many stories of him. He has done something unforgiveable this time and I aim to make him pay for it one way or another.

I miss you, little one. We will make plans to see one another soon. Until then, be careful, especially if you insist on befriending vampires. We are a dangerous lot, which you well know.

All my love,

Elijah

P.S. Though you indicated otherwise, you owe nothing for the ring. You know it brings me joy to see to your needs, even if they aren’t exactly your needs. I hope your friend is worthy of the gift you give them.

Lucy read through the letter three times, gaining comfort with each read through. Her uncle was correct. It had been far too long since they’d seen one another. See missed him. A knock sounded at her door and Lucy folded the letter and slipped it back into the envelope.

“Come in.”

Damon opened her door and leaned in the opening. “So, Stefan got a call from Miss Elena.”

She groaned. “And what did the teenager have to say?”

“Well, that was interesting. Apparently, her friend Bonnie is a witch. Said witch was possessed by one of her ancestors and led to the old church to destroy an amulet.”

Lucy blinked several times. “What now?”

Damon made a sound of agreement. “It gets better. The amulet was the one used to cast the spell that trapped all the vampires below the church. She said, and I quote, ‘I must destroy it. I can’t let them get it.’”

“Who is them?”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “That is the question of the hour. If I was a betting man, I’d put money on it being our vampire.”

“That doesn’t help us much, Salvatore. We’re no closer to figuring out who they are then when we started.”

“We’ll find them, Luce. We have to.”

[irenedubrovna]

A post regarding Euphoria for the benefit of myself and basically no one else

So, it really bothers me when people say Euphoria is groundbreaking, progressive media. Here’s a dissection of why I don’t think it is, because this is what I feel like doing at work:

The character of Rue is objectively great. She by far receives the least overt sexualization, and is treated neutrally in terms of active sexuality. She’s treated like a normal teenage girl with mental issues and an addiction to drugs. She falls in love with a girl who she pines for and places on a pedestal. The reason I think she is written this way is because she is a Sam Levinson proxy. She written with gender ambiguity and with little regard to the experiences she’d go through as a black gay female, probably because Sam Levinson has no insight to that aspect of life. Her performance is heightened of course by Zendaya, who breathes unique life to the Sam Levinson’s artistic extension, and without her performance this show would not get even half the acclaim it gets. Attribute that to Zendaya of course, because the director has done little to deserve this acclaim.

The rest of the females, sans Lexi, are pornified to a disgusting extent, not only due to the fact that they are supposed to be underage, but also because their existence as people is treated as being absolutely secondary to their sexual appeal. They are foremost presented in terms of their relation to sex. Cassie, Maddy, Jules, and Kat cannot be removed from their sexuality without disrupting the plot or their journeys in relation to the plot. Why are the females so intrinsically linked to uber fetishized versions of female sexuality, or uber fetishized versions of blossoming female sexual identity?

Maddy is presented not only scantily clad 90 percent of the time, but also dressed in a precariously unattainable sexual fashion. At any given time she is styled to look straight out of, simultaneously, a high fashion editorial, and a “barely legal” porno. She is airheaded and profane, and promiscuous, her mannerisms dictated by the adult films she’s “studied” in order to project an image of perfect hyper sexual femininity. She’s complacent in becoming a prototypical housewife because it will earn her a comfortable place as a trophy wife. She has no aspirations beyond that. So, let’s unpack all of that. Maddy’s role in the show is mostly passive. The most active thing she does in the plot is revenge fuck a man in the pool of a party. Nearly everything else she does in the show that is plot relevant is of someone else’s volition. Even less of what she in the show is related to anything other than a man. She is abused and then pressured into framing another man for said abuse. She has no agency as a character. The only notable difference to this rule is when she takes drugs at a carnival, knocks a pot of chili over, and calls her ex’s mom a cunt. Removed from her active sexual life and carefully cultivated aesthetic, she’s a trite stereotype of an unambitious girlfriend who gets treated poorly. I see people call Maddy iconic, but if she wasn’t gorgeous and well dressed, I doubt anyone would even think twice about her, let alone create fancams and Instagram pages dedicated to her. She exists as a plot device, and as pretty set dressing to build up the shows aesthetic. Her emotions are not well explored, her motivations are sexist, and she is often there to be demeaned, objectified, or to say a bad word. The most damning part of her involvement in this show is her episode where it is stated that she, as a fourteen year old girl, lost her virginity to an adult man, and it is stated she was in control of the situation. This is a dangerous thing to say about a character, to any audience, but especially a young one. To imply that a precocious young girl was in control during her first sexual encounter with a much much older man implies things that frankly border on rape apologist ideology. This show states this unflinchingly and with no further elaboration. If there’s one thing that tells you that Euphoria is a bad show, let it be that. Also, if there’s one thing that tells you about Sam Levinson as a person, and the way he views girls and women, let it fucking be that.

Jules is a young trans girl. She also likes to have sex with men as a means to “conquer femininity”. Scratch that, she likes to have degrading sex with older men in order to “conquer femininity”. This mindset is shown to be toxic, of course, but I think the problem with this idea in general is that there’s no deeper exploration for what this mindset means. It implies that she believes women are the sum of their intrigue and degradations. This mindset I can only assume would be a cultivation of dysphoria and internalized misogyny, which this series is absolutely not prepared to address in a tactful manner. Jules is a teenager with mental illness, trauma, and is undergoing an identity crisis. There’s something powerful in her character, something worth saying, however we only get trimmings of those meaningful things, and are ultimately left with a hurtful depiction of a trans girl because all of her musings on womanhood and identity are incomplete, and they fail to reach beyond the surface of their thesis statement. She wears colorful clothing, is overtly feminine and artistic in her presentation. Everything about her screams insecurity over her own womanhood. That is the crux of her character. Now, I think we should ask ourselves, is trans person who is insecure about their identity peak representation? Is this what trans people deserve? Is it “groundbreaking “? If this show was run by someone else, I might be inclined to say that there’s nothing insidious about this, but this is the guy that made Assassination Nation, so I think we know what he thinks of young women, the way they should be portrayed (that is, for the capitulation of a man) and realize his inclusion of a trans woman in his cast is no more meaningful than the inclusion of any other woman. Women to him are made to be categorized and should, at the end of the day, be easily palatable for the capitulation of a man. The device of having Jules being interested in older men and rough sex for identity reasons is transparent. Trans women are exploited and objectified with a similar fervor to cis women, the caveat being that they are “a forbidden fruit” of sorts to straight men. Jules is sissified, her presentation fetishistic. Her role in the plot is more involved. Her relationship with Rue is sweet, though toxic on both sides. She is ultimately betrayed, blackmailed, and snowballs into something of a manic episode, all well portrayed by Hunter Schafer, but I don’t think her inclusion in the show absolves it of any of its many sins.

Let’s talk about Cassie. Cassie is the Eurocentric beauty standard exemplified. She is the blonde haired blue eyed girl next store, and her boobs are of course always on display. She is notably promiscuous, something I say right off the bat because that’s how she’s introduced, as a so called slut through the words of the devil (Nate Jacobs). She is a girl with daddy issues, which we are all familiar with at this point. Her sexual boundaries begin and end at the whim of her partner. The terms of her consent are much like the terms of consent of many young girls brainwashed by society and the rising tide of degradation porn: everything is alright as long as you provide them comfort and affirmation afterward. You can touch them roughly without asking, you can use them as a tool to affirm your masculinity. This is the way men prefer their women now: just broken enough to say yes to anything they want. It’s become a joke at this point. Men like girls with issues, but only the ones that will feed their own desires. Cassie Howard is meek. Her inclusion in the plot I suppose ties to themes of drug addiction and how it divides and destroys the people you love. It doesn’t show what it does to her beyond shaping her sexual encounters, which is no surprise. Overall I’d say Cassie is in this roster of females as the most traditional categorically, in relation to how men view women and further how they sexualize them. She has a relationship with someone who doesn’t really love her. That mostly what she does here. Gets used. Doesn’t drive the plot or conflict much. More pretty set dressing. More aesthetics. How this show consists of so many women but is driven so much by men is unsurprising, and, again, very enlightening in the grand scheme of things.

Lastly we touch on Kat. I’d like to begin with the fact that self actualization through sexual exploration, in a show run by a man, is just a cloak for a woman to gratify the audience with her sexuality. Regardless of whether or not she is plus sized, this is overt objectification. She is on this show to be sexy. Beyond that, the fact that a minor using sex work as a form of liberation is disgusting. Whether or not she is portrayed as “owning” her sexuality is negligible, and speaks to the same mindset discussed with Maddy. Minors cannot fucking consent to sex, sexual acts, or anything within the confines of such. It’s crazy that this occurs with two different characters in such a similar way. It has echoes of “Well, she looked older..” and “Well, she wanted it..” or “She’s advanced for her age”. Never, not once in the events of the series is there meaningful introspection on what doing this kind of thing does to a minor. Moreover, these acts are explicit, and made clearly for sexual gratification. None of these things are absolved by the fact that she’s plus sized. If anything, her body type is fetishized in this context. It’s also another case of a “good girl to bad girl” transformation, which are archaic and, of course, sexist. With the rise of adult websites targeting minors for explicit content, this is even more reprehensible. Once again, in terms of representation, is this really what speaks to you as progressive? Groundbreaking? A girl gains control of her own narrative by having sex with lots of men. She gains control by being sexy. She gains control by dehumanizing and objectifying herself. No she doesn’t. Media controlled by men will tell this story to you thousands of times, don’t listen because she’s bigger than a size four.

ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE UNDERAGE. ALL OF THEM HAVE EXPLICIT SEX SCENES, EVEN THE SEXUAL ASSAULT IS MADE CINEMATICALLY PORNIFIED. THESE SHOTS ARE MADE TO BE OBJECTIVELY SEXY. THIS IS NOT A CASE OF SOMEONE CREATING SOMETHING FOR THE SAKE OF REALISM. IT IS ABOUT MAKING SCENES THAT SPEAK TO A MALE AUDIENCE. THAT CATER TO THE MALE GAZE. ARGUE WITH THE WALL.

I won’t go further into the plot, other characters, or the structure or the episodes for sake of brevity, but I felt compelled to air my thoughts on this to the void. I can only hope I was critical enough that Sam Levinson will one day see this and cry because another bad feminist thinks something that he made sucks